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/qst/ - Quests

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Previous threads: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=sburb%20quest


You are still TB(toasterBoaster), though your real name is TOTALITARIAN BUTTHEA- wait, fuck.
No, your name is TOM BRANCH. You have recently entered the MEDIUM. And according to SUNGLASSESSPRITE, your in "The Land of Battle and Metal".
Then he kind of just fucked of to someplace. Not gonna lie, that made you mad. The one guy who seemed to know a thing or two about all this stuff just fucking vanished.

But it's cool, you're sure you can figure this out yourself. And CL is writing up something of a guide, so even if you do have problems, you can always check that.
Though you don't think he's even left his house yet, so it's questionable as to whether or not he would be of much help at this stage of the game.
Actually, it's pretty annoying. After helping you enter the game, he pretty much immediately started grilling you for info. Like, you get wanting to write a comprehensive guide and shit, but some of his questions seemed kinda pointless.
"What's your land like?", "What did your entry item taste like?", "Can you be more specific than "spicy" please?". And shit like that.
Well whatever, seems like he has moved on to talking to the others for now, so you can do whatever!


(Continued in next post)
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Filling your sylladex with stuff sounds like a good idea. It usually is. Sure, some stuff winds up locked away forever, but if that's the case then you didn't really need the thing in the first place!
That is simply the nature of your DESTINY KEY MODUS. It's actually custom made, and by that you mean you paid some guys to make it for you, but you had the idea for it!
I mean, kinda. To be honest, it's literally just a CHASTITY MODUS with a less stupid name, but it was still kinda your idea, in a way.

Whatever. To be honest, most of the cards are packed already. 66 of them have items in them, and 11 are still empty.
But to be honest, you have more or less FORGOTTEN what was in most of those cards. You know you have food and water and stuff for when you're too lazy to get up, and actually go get something out of the fridge.
Other than that, you have an assortment of random knick-knacks, some tools, and a metric fuckton of MONEY in the form of GOLD COINS. And regular US dollars as well, but gold has always just struck you as more logical.
I mean, it's valuable no matter where you are, so it's always a good idea to have a bunch around.


You figure it's time to head out and explore (FINALLY) cuz you're getting pretty bored of sticking around here. The awesome sci-fi city in the distance looks pretty good. But you're going to need a mode of transportation...
Sadly, you're a bit to young to have a driver's license. You have considered using one of your cars anyway, but your friends assure you that doing such a thing would be LITERALLY RETARDED.
As such, you decide to just hop on your KICKASS SKATEBOARD. God DAMN this thing is cool, though you're still learning how to use it. Perfect time to practice!

You hop on your board, and zoom off to the city in the distance!

But, before you get there, you spot a strange creature of in the distance. For some reason, the word "imp" comes to mind.
It's a dark black, with a wolf's head and a carapace-like body. and is wearing kick-ass sunglasses the lenses of which are shaped like a religious symbol, though you can't quite recall the religion it's from. It also has some gay as fuck pink butterfly wings.


Do you wish to investigate the strange imp thing? Or shall you continue to the city in the distance?
Well, this is a game, and none of your friends are around to yell at you for "kiting the mobs" or whatever. Fuck that imp up, dude.
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You smile to yourself. This monster has no idea what's coming...
You pull out your PISTOL. Holy shit this thing is so cool. You got it painted to be space themed and stuff. It's so great.
To bad that it is a MIND-BASED WEAPON. Because you see, your only green attack would usually add your MANGRIT minus the enemy's GEL VISCOSITY plus a D10, but because you use a MIND-BASED WEAPON, your result will be cut in half!
...But lucky you, you also have KNIFEKIND! And a bunch of others that sounded cool, but you don't really use them much.

Still, you don't really like using your knife. It only can only use a D5, whereas your gun uses a D20.
Be sure to specify what weapon you're using!

You roll over to the inp, and initiate a strife!
Oh boy, new colors.

>ABSCOND (Come on, you know this one)
>AGGRESS (Same as ANNOY, but uses your MANGRIT instead of MIND. And of course, rather than using a D10, you use a D5 or a D30, depending on what weapon you selected)
>ASSAULT (Red, used for harsher attacks. Roll the same as with a green attack, but also roll a D10 for luck, and you might get a critical! Though, getting a low result may leave you open to a counter attack. It should be noted that this attack is not biased towards MIND or MANGRIT, and instead just goes with whatever your weapon is set to. Basically, unless you get a really cool green attack, or you want to deal less damage, or you have really bad luck, you should probably be using red attacks)
>AVERT (Blue is used for defensive moves. Most of them are only useful if you have people to back you up. Roll a D10 if you use it, and it will subtract your GEL VISCOSITY plus your result from the amount of damage the enemy would usually cause. )

Okay. That. Is a lot of text. Let's get to the fighting now. What attack will you use? If red or green, what weapon? And be sure to roll the proper dice!
Rolled 18, 7 = 25 (2d20)

>Assault, pistolkind
Rolled 6, 20 = 26 (2d20)

Drive-by initiated.
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Okay. I know the explanation of battle mechanics was a little confusing.
But the luck roll was, in fact, meant to be rolled with a D10 like it says.
But you rolled less than 11 anyway, so whatever. Imma just go with it for this one.
Sorry for the ambiguity.
18 + 0 = 18 (MIND)
7 + 4 (LUCK) = 11 (CRITICAL)
18 x 2 = 36

The imp basically fucking explodes. You get the feeling that thing must have been a petty weak enemy.
Despite that, you do an acrobatic fucking pirouette right up your ECHELADDER from PENNY PINCHER to FICKLE NICKEL. +125 BOONDOLLARS +1 LUCK.

...The fuck is a BOONDOLLAR? These look like plastic coins... do they really use these as currency here?

Oh. Seems that you got something else as well. The imp left behind a bunch of... weird colorful geometric shapes. Touching one seems to make it disappear.

+2 TAR

Well. Okay.

What a fun little diversion! But it's time to progress you think.
You raise your head, and turn back towards the city.
And see a bunch more imps staring at you. You don't even know where they came from.
You smile to yourself.

You get the feeling you're going to be fighting for a while. May as well be someone else in the meantime!

Be Donald(CL)
Be Abigail(TC)
Be Nicholas(WB)
>Be DD

(1d20 can be treated like a d10 by either dividing in half and rounding up, or dropping the tens digit. The dice roller won't allow multiple die-types.)
It won't? Shit, sorry. Thanks for letting me know.
You are now DD (doubleDaylight).

You are a 17 year old who works at a Starbucks. You started working here because you were kind of a PRETENTIOUS HIPSTER.
You're the kind of person who used to refer to themselves as a "coffee artisan" and shit like that. You spent most of your time on TUMBLR ranting about your views on SOCIAL JUSTICE. You dyed your hair rainbow colors for fucks sake.

But then it happened.
You needed money. More money than your stepmom would give you.

To be honest you don't even really remember what you had been planning to spend it on. But even so, you decided to try and work past your CRIPPLING SOCIAL ANXIETY, and get a JOB. Despite your awful résumé, your weird attitude, your lack of experience, and your general inability to interact with people, you got the job.

And then you sort of just got crushed by it.
Being forced to interact with strangers kind of... CURED you? You're not sure you even HAD social anxiety in the first place, or if you just kinda integrated it into your personality because it sounded sort of cool and like something that you could, feasibly, have. But like, at the same time, it wasn't a big enough deal you needed to get it diagnosed by a doctor.

You really wonder if you ever had it. You wonder a lot of things about yourself. It's kind of a problem. You think.

Like, for example, you were pretty fucking secure about your gender, before you found out that adopting a different one was a thing that people actually did. And now you're just confused, and always refer to yourself using gender neutral pronouns because you have yet to decide on anything.

And this kind of stuff just happens all the time now. You will notice something about yourself, and then spend a stupid amount of time questioning it and not really come to any kind of conclusion.

Like for example, you have kind of been thinking about changing your name. You haven't yet though, because you don't know what you would change it to if you did. So for now, you're just sticking to your birth name.

And what do you think that name might be?
Wait, no, that can't be right.
>Leslie Donner
Sheesh, even your name is totally ambiguous, kid. Also lame. Hurry up and pick something better.
Alex Jones, the most gender-neutral name of all.
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I would like to let you all know that my grasp of how time works in Homestuck is a bit lacking. So if anything involving time is just blatantly wrong in the quest, that is probably why.


Your name is LESLIE JONES. You are currently in the STARBUCKS. It is your shift, and you are standing behind the counter, awaiting your customers orders.
...Been kinda a slow day though.
...Like, REALLY slow. You don't think you've even seen any of your coworkers since you showed up. Granted, your memory of that time is a little hazy, because you had yet to have any COFFEE. You are not what you would call a NIGHT OWL or anything, but early morning isn't exactly your preferred time of day. And by early morning, you mean like 12:30 PM to 2:00 PM. Hmm... maybe you ARE a night owl...
Now that you got here, had a cup of coffee, and have been working for a bit, you suddenly realize that nobody has asked you for... anything? You have yet to get a single order...

...Oh. And now that you're paying attention, you've noticed that a variety of things have fallen to the floor. This is probably on account of the fact that the store seems to be shaking just a bit...

...You don't actually know what to do in an earthquake? Aside from standing under a door frame that is.
After going to a door, you whip out your phone and turn it on.
You want to check the internet for what to do during an earthquake.
You really want to...

But you see that some of your chums are pestering you. And you know what you saw in the CLOUDS the last time you SLEPT.
If only you could forget.

You select the PESTERCHUM app.

You proceed to find the post that CL sent explaining what to do.
This is a bit of a problem. You did bring your computer with you (you never go ANYWHERE without it) but you don't have any game disks-

You hear the sound of gears, a flash of red-

Leslie: ...
Leslie: What...?
Leslie: How did you just...?
RM: Time travel dumbass. Be sure to remind me to do this later.
RM: Anyway, here.

RM then hands you the disks.

Before long, you have everything set up. A purple sprite dancing around you. You toss in a cup of coffee, because sure, why not. It would seem your entry item is a... russian nesting doll? You open them up.


RM jumps into your sprite. Yippie.
Sadly, RM has very little in terms of FUTURE KNOWLEDGE. In addition, he seems to be kinda a jerk about it. ("I already SAVED us ALL! What more do you WANT from me?!") And seems more than a little afraid of making a paradox or something. In addition, it seems that sprites are just naturally inclined to be mysterious for no reason. So. Not very helpful then.

Okay. Well, you guess it's time to explore? Or you can swap to someone else.

Be Donald(CL)
Be Abigail(TC)
Be Tom(TB)
Be Nicholas(WB)
Continue being yourself
>Continue being yourself
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You are still yourself. Yippie?

You are still in the coffee shop.
Oh? Pesterchum is chiming.

RM: Looks like you made it in. Alright, well i've got things to do, so... bye!
DD: Wait...
DD: You still haven't explained how you got me into the game, but you're also right here...
RM: Don't know, don't care. That douchebag is some kinda imposter.
DD: He says it's something involving time travel...?
RM: Time travel isn't real numbnuts.
RM: As I was saying, I gotta go.
RM: Wait.
RM: Now that I think about it, you need to be my server player.
DD: ...Well, alright, but I'm not really sure what to do...
RM: For fucks sake, you read CL's post right?
DD: Yeah, but it was a little complicated...

You spend the next few minutes getting him into the game. It's not as hard a you thought it would be, thank god.

RM: Alright, I'm in. Bye.

--- rainMelter (RM) stopped pestering doubleDaylight(DD) at ??:?? ---

Annnnd he's gone. He didn't even thank you. Perhaps this is an example of the entitlement that males think they have, a perfect showing of what happens when privilege goes unchecked...


Nah, he's just an asshole.

You step out of the shop.

Your land is... confusing. You would be slamming into walls at all times, if it wasn't for the fact that the floor seems to be green, rather than more mirrors. Even then, it's pretty hard.

RMCOFFEESPRITE is making a pest of himself the entire time. It's quite distracting.

RMCOFFEESPRITE: Hey, go find some imps.
Leslie: What...?
RMCOFFEESPRITE: Little black creatures that drop grist when you kill them.
Leslie: W-What? I don't wanna kill anything!
RMCOFFEESPRITE: Dont worry. They aren't really sentient in the traditional sense. It's fine to kill them.
RMCOFFEESPRITE: Besides, you're going to need to if you want to survive.
Leslie: But dead things are gross!
RMCOFFEESPRITE: First of all, don't be a pussy. Second, they just bust into grist when they die. It's not going to be bloody or anything.
Leslie: B-But... Well, what exactly, is grist?
RMCOFFEESPRITE: Figure it out yourself. I'm not your freaking tutorial.

Well, seems like you are going to be hunting for grist for a while.
You think it's time to be someone else. For real this time.

Be Donald(CL)
Be Abigail(TC)
Be Tom(TB)
Be Nicholas(WB)
Yesss, be the radio girl, it is time for that.
>Be FM
Be fm~

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