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/qst/ - Quests

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Last time on Storm Warrior’s Quest, our protagonist Jack made it to the Red Lands and caught up with Vorona, a crow lady who slighted him twice. He proceeded to torture her more than necessarily needed.
Get her soul and risk getting soul std? Or part of her surviving? No thanks my dude.
>[]Throw her in
>[]You know, if you hadn't been such a bitch about it i would've liked to have had some drinks with my bro, hell maybe we could've worked out what you did over some drinks too
>[]Could've let you had a place with my girls too, gave you a good life too
Get that soul, maby we'll grow wings .
You crouch over Verona and concentrate. Never really had a chance to try this...
Her soul manifests itself as a glowing representation of her current self, minus the injuries. It desperately attempts to hang onto its body before you rip it out and consume it.
A stabbing pain burns through your head. You growl and fall to your knees, trying to stay conscious.
Two ebony horns grow out of your head, and a spade-tipped tail sprouts from your—well, tailbone.
You stand up as the pain subsides, examining your new physical features. This tail was fucking weird, man... you know you can hide these if need be, so at least you won’t have to go get a new helmet.
Vorona’s soulless body lies on the ground, breathing softly. It seems without your soul, you’re a vegetable.
You drag her body into the next room and leave it on the edge of the pit. Several dripping tentacles reach up to pull her in.
...yep. This thing had been here as long as anyone could remember. Grandma Krystal had fallen inside when she found it. It’s a pretty convenient method of disposing of prisoners. There are worse ways to go, at least the thing feeds and pleasures you before eating.
You clean yourself of blood and cum, get dressed (damn tail gets in the way of your pants), and head upstairs.
“Jackiiiiiiie, you have HORNS!”
Mom ambushes you from an alcove, giving you a big bear hug.
Dad follows her, albeit at a more casual pace. He pats you on the head.
“Ah. Your first soul.” he says, unsure whether to be proud or sickened. “You might want to go visit the chapel for a little bit... y’know. Just to see if Alagos thought it was justified.”

>[]I’ll do that.
>[]Nah. I’m gonna go home. I wonder if I could my harem into bondage...
>[]What are you going to do about Chavryn?
>[]I'll do that, and what about Chad ryn?
>>[]I’ll do that.
Your father sighs and scratches one of his horns.
“I’ll work on that when we’re done with all that diplomacy business. Might take a while... the Queen needs to go over and speak with the Shah.”
You wish him luck and head to the chapel.


Well, it’s more of a cathedral.
Stained glass depicts your grandfather and Krystal fighting demons and enemies of the Order. You sit in a pew and look around. Nobody’s here.
”That was kinda fucked up, Jack.”
Alagos sits on the altar, giving you a cryptic look. You bite back the urge to tell him to get off of there.
”I mean, damn. I’d sure hate to meet you in a dark alleyway. Assuming I were mortal, obviously. You’ve inherited my skill with the venerable weapon known as the lead pipe, though, so congratulations are in order.”
A small burst of confetti accompanies this statement.
“Well, what would you have done?”
”Probably the same thing. Do as I say, not as I do. By the way, I need to congratulate you again. You’ve got three women in your harem now, that’s as many as I do! Well, officially. I have a lot of maids and divine ladies vying for my attention.”
“Thanks. I feel kinda... wrong. Torturing Vorona and all. I’m not sure if she really deserved that.”
”Meh. That’s up in the air. And it’s a moot point, since you’ve already gone and done it. Look, Jack...”
He gets up and sits down next to you.
”At the end of the day, Aeneth is the only perfect being in existence. Excluding me, obviously. Every mortal ever has had some fuckup of some kind. All we can do is offer redemption. Krystal had to repent of quite a few war crimes, and hey! You’re forgiven of your incestuous half-sister nonsense. If the torture is bothering you, just do a few dozen pushups and we’ll call it even.”
“M-my lord!”
A stray priest falls to his knees, a rapturous look on his face.
”Well, this guy’s day was just made. I’ll see you around, Jack.”
Alagos disappears with a crack of thunder.

>[]Whats your name? I’ll tell Mom to canonize you or whatever.
>[]Go home to your fuckbuddies. They’ll cheer you up.
>[]Do a few dozen pushups.
>>[]Whats your name? I’ll tell Mom to canonize you.
>[]Go home to your fuckbuddies. They’ll cheer you up.
and why not
>>[]Do a few dozen pushups.
“Er... my name’s Gideon.”
“Kay. Welcome to the ‘I saw Alagos’ club.”
You get on the ground and start doing push-ups.
Gideon awkwardly stands in the doorway.
“Well, don’t just stand there. Go boast to your friends.”
He leaves.


“I’m home!”
You give HVK (an acronym for your harem) kisses and sit down on the couch. Vaux wins the struggle to rest your head on her breasts, while Helena and Kāpili try to make the most of the situation.
“How was your day, honey?” Helena asks.

>[]I tortured a poor girl for pissing me off.
>[]My half-brother tried to kill me.
>[]A fat guy with a golden sword nearly turned me into fish bait.
>>[]My half-brother tried to kill me.
>All three in order of apparition
And add that Dad is a pretty cool guy when he isnt an overprotective jerk.

We should clean up before any sex with harem too.
“Well, I had a chunky guy try to decapitate me, then my half brother took me on a magical flight above the desert before trying to murder me, and then I tortured a crow lady because she pissed me off a few times.”
They don’t seem to know what’s to say about that.
“Let’s not reflect on the bad, Jack. What’s your next plan? Surely this can’t be the last adventure you go on.”
You think about that. What CAN you do next? Expand your harem? Go looking for your half brother? Try uselessly to convince your family that incest is perfectly fine?

>[]Expand harem!
>[]Find half brother!
>[]Meet Helena’s parents!
>[]Find half brother and meet all of their parents!
>[]Wedding when?
>[]Impregnate and bring Rose to the Harem! :^)
>>[]Find half brother and meet all of their parents!
>>[]Wedding when?
“My parents are dead.” Vaux says in a deadpan tone.
“Ah. Swamp life.”
“My parents are alive...” Kāpili says quietly.
“Mine too, but they’ll insist on giving you a tour of the Cult’s headquarters.” Helena comments. “Which includes an ambush and subsequent orgy, based on a questionnaire they hand out earlier. It’s very orderly.”
“That just sounds fantastic. Now, about the wedding.”
You rub your chin. Dammit, you should’ve talked to Mom and Dad about that earlier. Either the Order is gonna have to take a stance on polygamy—which would inevitably piss someone off—or you’ll have to choose one of your harem to marry, which would also make someone pissed off. Oh goody. Dad is totally going to be cool with this.
“So... what should we do tonight?” Vaux asks, nestling your head further into her breasts.
“Cuddle. I’m too tired to make all three of you happy.”
“I’ll help you rest...” Kāpili says.

You have some dinner, listen to how their day went (Kāpili explored the city, and H&V are trying to train her in anal), and go to sleep, curled up beside three warm bodies...

You ponder what to do the next day at breakfast, idly scratching Aquila’s head. Your puppy’s grown a little bigger since you last saw him.

>[]Go talk about your marriage.
>[]We’re going to whatever city Helena’s from!
>[]Assist Dad with finding Chavryn.
>[]Assist Dad with finding Chavryn.
And talk about marriage and polygamy.
It’s several hours before you find yourself sitting on your father’s back, gliding over the desert in search of your half-brother. Dad told the local government he’d be looking for him. Responsibility and all. They were all too happy to accept the offer, considering the last dragon slain by mortal hands required a few armies.
“So... Dad.”
“I’ve been thinking about marriage.”
“That’s very responsible of you.”
You sigh and scan the desert. Nothing but a few daemonettes wandering around. Maybe Tsuyoi knows some of them.
“So I have three ladies. If I marry one, the other two will be jealous and that will lead to bad times. On the other hand, I can’t find anything in the Codex Tempestus about plural marriage or anything. Sure, Alagos has Pris, Sasha, and Krystal, but he’s only married to Sasha. Pris is a ‘servant’ and Krystal is a friends with benefits kind of thing.”
Your father ponders this for a while.
“Well, I don’t know of any laws that strictly forbid polygamy. Probably because it used to be a fairly common practice, or so Cammat tells me. However, you might want to talk with your mother or grandfather about that. They’re the religious ones.”
You nod slowly.
“But do you approve? That’s my question.”
“And a very good question indeed.”
Your father dives down to snatch up a giant insect from the sand. After swallowing it whole, he continues.
“As long as you’re responsible, and can take care of them, I don’t see any reason why you can’t have three wives. I’m just concerned how you would handle all the children... if Christine was more like you I would’ve flown off to the moon in frustration.”
“I have three women helping. Maybe more if I hire Legs and her kids as babysitters. And anyone who would make a good wife to me would be a good mom.”
“I suppose that’s true enough.”
You lean back and blink a few times. The air up here’s drying your eyes out. You should’ve brought goggles...

Roll 1d20 to look for your brother.
Rolled 1 (1d20)

Rolled 19 (1d20)

Rolled 8 (1d20)

Yeah, there ain’t shit out here. Behind that mesa is such an obvious hiding spot, of course he isn’t there.
“See anything?” your father asks.
You fly back to get some food and rest your muscles.
“If you want, you can go talk to your mother about your marriage. I’ll be fine here.”

>[]Okay, sure.
>[]Nah. Let’s keep looking. (D20)
>[]Oh, by the way, I kind of made a deal with a cat lady involving a few dozen firearms.
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>[]Nah. Let’s keep looking. (D20)
Father needs at least one "good" son.
Rolled 17 (1d20)

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>[]Nah. Let's keep looking.
>[]Oh by the way, I kind of made a deal with a cat lady involving a few dozen firearms.
Well damn, this is rarer than a crit, crit avoided?
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>1925543 (yes)
You point out a greenish speck on the ground. Your half-brother notices the three-ton dragon descending towards him and runs for it.
This doesn't seem to placate Chavryn. In fact, he picks up speed. This guy should do the hundred meter.
After a few minutes of him Scooby-Dooing his way through canyons, your half-brother finally stops at a cliff face.
"Finally! Stay there, we wanna talk!"
He hurls a spear, sticking your dad right where his wing joins his shoulder.
"Gah--shit! Hold on!"
You fall to the ground, tumbling over the rocks and sand painfully. That probably broke some of your ribs.
"Are you okay, Jack?"
Your father changes back to humanoid form and rips the spear from his shoulder.
"He's climbing up the cliff!"
Dad fires his revolver, wincing as the impact jostles his shoulder. The recoil's too much, even for a dragon. His shots miss your half-brother as he clambers up the cliff face.
"I knew I shouldn't have increased the stopping power..."
"Turn back into a dragon, we'll cut him off."
"Can't. Wing's gonna hurt too much. We'll have to pursue."
He calls someone on his codec.
"Yeah, we're gonna need some backup. Anti-armor everything, bring a few mages to cast shields. Capture him alive if possible, but don't hesitate to kill."
You look at him.
"You're gonna kill him?"
"If I have to. I have a responsibility to make sure he doesn't destroy anything else. If we leave him out here, he could kill everything and everyone in the desert."
Your father takes a running leap at the wall and starts climbing, groaning as his healing spell fails.

Roll 1d20 regardless of choice.
>[]Take a shot at Chavryn. He'll probably survive the fall.
>[]Grandpa, I need a super jump.
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>[]Take a shot at Chavryn's leg. He'll probably survive survive the fall.
Rolled 19 (1d20)

You draw your pistol, take aim, and put a bullet in your half-brother’s ankle just as he tries to get his footing. He slips and falls about thirty feet, landing heavily in a pile of dirt and rocks. Your father jumps down and holds him by the collar.
“DO YOUR WORST!” Chavryn shouts in defiance.
“We don’t want to hurt you, silly. We just want to turn you into a good child.”
“Indoctrination!? That’s even worse!”
“Just come back and have some tea. We can talk about your issues and—“
Kasai knocks him out with the butt of his revolver and messages your reinforcements.
“Target incapacitated. It’d be nice if you could come pick us up at the mouth of this canyon. Sending coordinates.”


Twenty minutes later, you sit in the back of a truck, on your way to the portal.
“We’ll need some arcane restraints...” your father mumbles. He drinks a potion and quickly fixes his shoulder up.
“I’d fly back to tell the Shahzada we’ve captured him, but I’m not letting him out of my sight until he’s safely out of the way.”
You nod. Wise choice.
The trip is uneventful until Chavryn wakes up. He mumbles unintelligibly and strains against his bonds. They’re just rope, but they’ll slow him down.
“...where am I? YOU!”

>[]Dad, we’ll need another knockout.
>[]If you struggle I’ll hang you out the back.
>[]Mom, talk to my brother!
>[]Whisper: Fucked your girl, bro, happily waiting for my kid in a torture chamber right now.
>[]Mom talk to my brother!
>[]Mom, talk to my brother!
You hold the codec in front of Chavryn.
“Who—? Ooooooooh, he’s adorable!”
That wouldn’t have been your first choice of words. He wouldn’t be out of place as a working class revolutionary.
“But he’s so emaciated, we need to get him some food.”
“You will do no such thing. I am a dragon, and I refuse to be ridiculed like this!”
“How would you like me to ridicule you, then? I take requests!”
Your half brother looks like his arteries are going to explode.
“I’m just joking, you silly boy. I wanted to help raise you, but your mother just up and left—“
“As if I would want to be raised by some divine whore!”
Your mother gives him the look. That specific look mothers have for misbehaving children. It must be similar to what Chavryn’s mom used, because he visibly sinks in his seat.
“Fuck you, too.”
Her face snaps back to her cheerful, slightly psychotic smile.
“So you have some personality issues, but we can fix those! By the way, are you a virgin?”
“Aw. I wanted to set you up with one of my sister’s employees. You’d be so cute with Mary Jane. Were you friends with that lady Jack threw in the tentacle pit?”
Chavryn glares at you.
“You killed Vorona? Hmph. Unfortunate.”
“Unfortunate!?” you ask incredulously.
“She was a means to an end—“
“I am NOT your son!”

Roll 1d20.
Rolled 8 (1d20)

Rolled 9 (1d20)

Rolled 3 (1d20)

Rolled 17 (1d20)

Rolled 5 (1d20)

Welp go aisha!
We should trick Chavryn into hooking up with Rose, two unknowing bastards, the drama!
A purple flame phases through the canvas awning of the truck, burning you and the driver. You bail out and extinguish yourself in the sand.
“What’s wrong, Jackie? Did you hit a bump?” Mom asks. You look up to see a large, purple dragon tearing into the truck.
“Yeah, let me get back to you on that.”
Your father changes into his own form, stating the newcomer down.
“KASAI! LEAVE ME AND MY SON ALONE!” she shouts. Must be Chavryn’s mother.
Your half-brother changes, snapping his bindings and glaring at your father. While both of them were smaller than him, they would pose quite a threat unless he had backup.
You call up Dad’s second-in-command. “TWO HOSTILE DRAGONS, SEND EVERYTHING!”
That should help a little. Of course, everyone was fucked if the fight strayed into the city. They better not destroy the portal.
You look down at your weapons and sigh. The hell were you supposed to do with these!?

>[]Try for a very lucky kill shot (roll 1d100, 90-100 succeeds).
>[]Commandeer the truck and GTFO.
>[]Ask grandpa Alagos nicely for some dragon-slaying powers.
>>[]Ask grandpa Alagos nicely for some dragon-slaying powers.
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>Talk them down
>Easy there lady, qe don't wanna kill either of you, just come quietly and we'll give you a house and food
“Grandpapa, May I PLEASE have some divine power so I can save your son-in-law from being double-teamed?” you ask, looking pleadingly at the heavens.
«Oh, alright. Don’t be irresponsible with them.»
Your limbs fill with strength. Lightning crackles around your body. You feel like you could run fifty miles and still take on an army.
It’ll help a little.
You launch yourself at your half-brother, wrapping yourself around his neck.
“Get off!”
He tries to shake you, but you use your newfound powers to summon a mighty wind, pinning your brother to the ground.
“Change back, fucker.”
You blast him with a bolt of lightning, rendering him unconscious. Your brother unwillingly changes back to his humanoid form, allowing you to cuff him again.
Your father and Airu are still fighting, but without her son to assist, she’s clearly lost.
“We don’t want to hurt either of you.” your father growls. “We just can’t let you put anyone in danger—“
“Your son lured Jack here! He wanted to kill him, and me!”
“As he should! That lecherous, blue-haired girl wanted to raise MY son as her own! Leave us be!”
“So you can plot against us!? I don’t care about your son, I just want to prevent my city, MY family from your idiotic, clumsy plans for revenge!”
They clash again, each intent on tearing each other’s throat out.
Airu roars before smashing her claws into the earth.
Black smoke pours from her mouth. Tumors of Void energy sprout up from her scales, and her eyes glow a sickly, dark purple.
Airu attacks your father with renewed vigor, twice as furious as before. He’s forced to retreat under her assault.

>[]Help him. (D20)
>[]Call for backup, this could get nasty.
>[]Wake up your brother and yell at him for letting this shit happen.
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>[]Wake up your brother and yell at him for letting this shit happen
>[]Help Dad
Rolled 13 (1d20)

Fuck this:
Don't wake the fucker up, we'll berate him later.
>[]By the gods, you fucking retarded cunt, if you wanted to get help raising him you could've fucking tried to find him.
>[]My mom would've been autistic enough to force Dad into raising him
>[]Now because of you're bad fucking parenting you're probably going to end up fucking dead you fat cunt, and I would much rather keep you and him alive but if you keep this shit up I'll swear I'll fuck you up you retarded fat piece of pathetic attempt at a dragon shit
Supporting this instead
Double support
Rolled 8 (1d20)

Rolled 12 (1d20)

Rolled 17 (1d20)

Rolled 18 (1d20)

Airu looks at you in rage, then decides to take the safe option and spew fire at you. You dodge the attack before climbing up her neck and grabbing onto her horns.
You start popping Void tumors, causing purple and black liquids to start flying everywhere. Smells awful, too. Airu roars in pain, allowing you to stab her in the eye.
Unfortunately, you don't stab her in the brain. The dragon tosses you off and screeches. You back away in horror as the corrupted energies flowing from her tumors start melting her scales.
Several vehicles with armor-piercing cannons pull up next to you and fire at Airu. Two shots hit home, but a third is slashed from the air by Airu's claws.
"Are you okay, Jack?"
You look over. Tsuyoi pulls you behind one of the vehicles.
"I'm fine, but what are you doing here?"
"Drivers were being contrary. I had to use my authority to get them over here."
Ah, well. She'll just have to stay by the artillery.
"This is not good..." she says, peeking at Airu. She's currently torn between destroying your father and the new reinforcements.
"You've got that right. She cut a deal with that Demon bastard, I think she's completely lost her mind... she was a chatterbox just a few minutes ago, now she's just roaring and screeching."
You cover your ears as the next three shots are fired. Two are taken down by Airu's breath, but the third smashes into her head. This angers her, and she finally decides to charge your position.
"Shit! MOVE, DAMMIT! GET OUT OF HERE!" Tsuyoi shouts.

>[]I'll draw her attention. (D20)
>[]Try to go for her eye again.
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>[]I'll draw her attention!
>[]Keep up the "We don't want to kill you, calm down and we'll help you" kind of arguments, let's see if we can calm her down and make her stand out
>[]Use her son as cover too
You grab Chavryn’s unconscious form and run out into the open. Your borrowed strength allows you to easily lug him along.
Airu skids to a halt, her Void-dulled eyes clearing in recognition of her son.
”Put him down...”
“I just want to talk! You’re the one who escalated everything!”
She peers at you.
”And why should I listen to you? Why should I allow you to take me and my son to your city?”
“Look, I’m not entirely sure on the background of this whole conflict, but I do know that it isn’t too late to patch things up. We don’t have to be best friends or anything, but there’s no reason to tear each other’s throats out either.”
Airu leans down. You can see the Void’s corruption slowly leaving her body.
“So can we talk? We can work something out, compromise.”
”Perhaps... yes. That would be acceptable.”
You sigh in relief as her corruption clears up even more. You can feel burning hatred faintly emanating from the shrinking tumors.

>[]We’ll leave you be, just don’t attack us. That okay?
>[]Is it okay if we keep an eye on you? Just have a couple guys around here. They’ll be quiet.
>[]Come to the city. It’s more comfortable than the desert.
>>[]Come to the city. It’s more comfortable than the desert.
Mom can make dad take her as concubine or something

And also add in
> []Isn't that what you and Chavryn wanted? A better life where you didn't struggle for food
>[]Hell, i would even try to mend things with him, because my little sister is just a pain in the ass most of the time
“...I will trust you.”
Airu changes into her humanoid form. You let out a sigh of relief as she walks over and calmly climbs into the back of a truck. Your father follows suit, while you haul Chavryn up into a seat.
His mother’s skin still bears traces of her corruption. That would require some purging. Still, she seems lucid enough.
Isn’t this just wonderful? One big bastard family. Well, you’re not sure of your own status. Mom was pregnant with you before she got married, but you don’t know if that counts or not.
Dad must be feeling like shit right now. All he needs is Ash and Rose to show up and complete the picture.
The trip to the portal was silent. Chavryn wakes up near the end, but his mother keeps him from making a fuss.
You walk through the portal and into the city’s Upper Ward. It had been moved here from the Sanctum’s basement, due to it not being the most convenient location.
Your mother springs from behind a shrub to ambush him.
“Oh, I thought you were attacked by bears—Airu, it’s been so long!”
She moves from your father to Airu, much to the chagrin of her son.
“Oh, and Chadwick! Nice to finally meet you!”
“My name is Chavryn—“
“C’mere, Chad!”
Your brother groans as your mother administers a hug.

>[]Let’s go to the castle.
>[]Let’s have some tea at my house.
>[]Maybe we should find some neutral ground to negotiate...
>[]Maybe we should find some neutral ground to negotiate...
>>[]Maybe we should find some neutral ground to negotiate...
You think about somewhere that you could meet. It has to be comfortable, atmospheric, and generally a good place to meet people.


You decide on the Seawall Diner. It's a diner that was built on the Seawall, if the name wasn't a giveaway. Nice view of the ocean, well-ventilated, good atmosphere.
And there's some nice booths for you all the stare at each other.
Tsuyoi orders for everyone (you'd nearly forgotten about her) while the awkward silence continues.
"So, how's life in the desert?" you ask.
Everyone immediately breaks out into an argument. Maybe you shouldn't have said anything. Airu's pissed that Dad didn't even try to see if she was okay, he was telling her that he would've if she gave any indication as to where the fuck she was going, Chavryn is just mad that his dumbass revenge plans can't be carried out, and your mother is trying to calm everyone down with seduction magic, which isn't helping in the slightest.
You and Tsuyoi just sit there, eating your food and trying not to catch anyone's eye.
"JACK! What do you think about all this!?" your brother shouts.

>[]Uh... you kinda fucked up, Dad.
>[]Airu, he has a point. You can't just expect him to search the entire planet because he's a little worried.
>[]Shut the fuck up, I'm eating. I just gathered you here, figure out your own problems.
>[]Airu, he has a point. You can't just expect him to search the entire planet for a kid he never wanted and was forced to make
>[]If you had given any indication about where you were going Mom probably would've forced him to find and help you
Oh, great. Your comment made the argument flare up.
“Would you all just shut up?” Tsuyoi asks in annoyance. “None of this matters. The past is set, you should be talking about the future.”
Everyone falls silent and stares at the table.
“...we want somewhere to live. Somewhere we don’t have to scavenge.” Chavryn says.
“Done.” your father replies.
“And I want to visit you all the time! We can swap stories and drink tea and adopt puppies and go help old people—“
“Whatever, just don’t be too annoying.”
“There. Wasn’t that easy?” you say before going back to your food.
Tsuyoi coughs violently. You look at her warily.
“...you’re not gonna die, right?”
“ACK! ...I’m fine, I just got something stick in my throat.”
She clears her throat and has a drink of water.


“I’m home...” you say wearily.
“Jack! How’d your day go?”
Aquila paws at your leg. You pick him up to scratch him behind the ears.
“Fine. Almost died eight times. Reconciled some family.”
“Sounds like a good time.”
Helena stands on tiptoes to kiss you.
“You need any dinner?”
“Had some already.”
Your two lizards sit down next to you as you sprawl out on the couch.
“Man, there’s nothing like coming home to you three.”
You give them both kisses and lie back, allowing Kāpili to cradle your head in her lap.

>[]Fuck. I forgot to talk to Mom about the wedding. Gotta go back...
>[]Sleep. Let’s just sleep forever.
>[]Helena, we’ll go meet your parents tomorrow. We should pack.
>>[]Helena, we´ll go meet your parents tomorrow. We should pack.
>[]And yours too Kãpili, we'll find a way to go see em
>[]And were yours buried Vaux?
“My parents were burned, like everyone else who died.” she says.
Oh, yeah. Wouldn’t want them getting up again and trying to kill people. That happens a lot.
“Well, at least I can meet two pairs of parents.” you say. At least you won’t have to go back into that swamp.


The next day, you say some goodbyes to your family, pack some extra clothing and supplies, and climb into a truck with your harem.
Carts had been used to transport supplies and people until someone figured out that magic could just make the wheels turn by themselves. What resulted was a box that could turn, start, and stop.
Of course, nobody’s bothered to add suspension, and these cobbled roads are awful.

>[]I’m gonna take a nap, wake me if someone attacks us.
>[]So, tell me about where we’re going, Helena.
>[]...did anyone bring a pack of cards?
>[]So, tell me about where we're going, Helena.
>[]Cuddle throughout the journey
"Well, we're going to Veross." she says. She snuggles up against you.
"It's very romantic. Tree-lined streets, overly complicated water fountains, even the starving orphans are kind of adorable."
She frowns.
"Of course, we'll be going to the red light district. The Cult holds sway over there... if anyone gets too touchy-feely, just tell them 'hands off'."
You'll be sure to remember that.


You jolt awake. Not this shit again...
"Vaux, where's my rifle?"
"Got it right here."
You put on your helmet and lean out the window.
The bandits have constructed a fucking log wall on this semi-busy road, and they're holding people up before letting them through the gate.
Your driver peeks out and looks back at you.
"You seein' this?"
"What the hell is this!?" you ask.
"Who ordered you to set this up?"
"Why are you shouting so loud?"
This fucking guy.
"Uh... can we pay you later?"

>[]How much?
>[]Just take a different road. It's not worth it.
>[]Take some potshots and have the driver break through.
>[]Take some potshots and have the driver break through.
>Look intimidating.
"Move or die."
>Possible lightning bolts in the air.
“Out of my way, buddy.” you say, staring the bandit down.
“Or what?”
“I’ll... uh...”
You’d never been good at spontaneously coming up with threats.
You fire randomly at the wall as the driver guns the engine. You bounce slightly off the gate as it refuses to budge.
“We’ve got some lively ones here!”
Bandits swarm down the wall and start trying to get into the vehicle. You smack some of them on the head and urge the driver to try again.
He backs up and crashes back into the gate, careening down the road.
You poke your head out the side to see that the bandits are chasing you on wyverns.
“Fucking—I thought these guys were wiped out!”

Roll 1d20 to snipe.
Rolled 17 (1d20)

“Line it up...”
You fire your rifle and take out one of the wyverns. It screeches and crashes headlong into the trees on the side of the road.
“BREAK OFF! This isn’t worth it!”
The survivors head back to their log wall.
“We’re gonna have to report that...” you mutter, taking your seat. Your harem presses closer to you as you set your rifle under the seat.


“We’re here.”
The driver pulls up inside the gates of Vaross. You hand him some money for his trouble and get out of the truck.
“So, where should we go?” Helena asks.
“I’m not the one who grew up here...”

>[]Take us on a tour, I guess.
>[]We should find someplace to sleep.
>[]Let’s get the meeting over with.
>>[]Take us on a tour, I guess.
“Alright, follow me.”
Helena leads you down several streets, heading toward a central plaza. You note with surprise that the leaves are starting to change color. It hasn’t felt that long since spring.
“Ah, here we go.”
You stop in front of a confectionary shop.
“This is probably THE best chocolate in the entire world.” Helena says. “It’s expensive as shit, though. I’ve only had a few treats, and that was a few weeks savings.”
Yeah, you only brought enough to live comfortably, not luxuriously. You help yourselves to a free sample, though.
“They get a lotta bad batches, so they give ‘em away. Still good.”
Next, she leads you to a large plaza, dominated by a steel tower that expands into a disc shape near the top.
“They built this a few years back... just to show off the city’s industrial might. They’ve got a restaurant at the top, but it’s not really worth the climb.”
You continue onward, before stopping in the middle of a bridge. The sun is setting over the river that winds through the city, turning the sky shades of yellow and pink.
Helena stands on tiptoe to give you a kiss on the lips, and blushes slightly.
“It’s always been my dream to do that, right here...”
Vaux and Kāpili crowd in for their own kisses.
“Come on, we should be going.”
Helena shows you a couple more sights, including a stone monument from ancient times, a dragon’s skeleton put together, and a large statue of Adasser, spreading her arms to welcome you. You’re not entirely sure, but she might be having a wardrobe malfunction.

>[]Let’s find somewhere to rest. I’m tired.
>[]Know anywhere we can go carousing? I could use a few drinks.
>[]Man, I’ve been missing out. I should go to more cities.
>>[]Man, I’ve been missing out. I should go to more cities.
“We can have a tour of the Empire when you’ve got some spare time.” Kāpili says.
“That’s a good idea. Maybe that desert place... what was it called again?”
The sun’s about to set, so you go find somewhere to stay the night. You decide on a quaint little inn near the middle of town. It’s got some flowery name in the old language of this region that basically means ‘The Stumbling Donkey’.
The innkeeper gives you a wink when you get a room for four. Guess it isn’t exactly subtle, especially considering how your harem was clinging to you. You should have a talk with them about this, it’s getting kind of inconvenient.
Upstairs, you all undress, bathe, and climb into a nice, soft bed. It’s a welcome change after the hard leather seats of the truck.
Two hours later, you pass out in a pair of warm breasts, sweaty and exhausted.


“Hi, Demon. I thought you might show up again. You got any tea around here? We could have a nice fireside chat instead of floating in space.”
”It’s my preferred décor.”

>[]Well, what did you want to talk about?
>[]Why did you go corrupt poor old Airu? She’s got enough on her plate.
>[]If you don’t have tea, I’m just gonna leave.
>[]Why did you go corrupt poor old Airu? She's got enough on her plate.
"She was the best chance I had for ruining your attempt to reconcile your family. Unfortunately, you managed to keep her from killing anyone. Unfortunate, but expected."
Demon opens a window, allowing you a glimpse into different realities. You're incinerated by a blast of flame. Your father is wounded and succumbs several hours later. Tsuyoi is eaten, but manages to blow Airu up from the inside. Airu hurls her own son onto the rocks, breaking his neck.
"Very lucky. You just happened to exist in the world where she could be brought to her senses."
"So, every time me or someone else fucks up your plans, it's no biggie?"
"That's right. They succeed in other realities."
"All of them except your original kill-reality plan, right?"
"That seems like overkill."
"You could've done it yourself."
Demon gives you a look of hatred.
"But that doesn't matter. Just stop being a salty asshole."
"It is all I have left to me. The perverse glee of being an asshole. I've tried to be nice to your father, and he questioned my sexuality."

>[]Are you sure you aren't gay? I mean, you're obsessed with fucking some guy over.
>[]You're just bad with people. Take some antidepressants, try therapy. Everything's fucked anyway, why stress about it?
>[]I should've sent Vorona here. Dammit. I'll look for an edgy girlfriend to get you, okay?
>[]I should've sent Vorona here. Dammit. I'll look for an edgy girlfriend to get you, okay?
>[]Are you sure you aren't gay? I mean, you're obsessed with this one man.
”I have a wife.”
“Well, she’s probably dead, and not here. So unless she gets visitation rights or something, you’ll need someone to help you work off that stress.”
You scratch your head.
“Are you SURE you aren’t gay? There’s nothing wrong with it. I mean, it’s not normal, but—“
”I’m not gay.”
“I think the gentleman doth protest too much.”
”Fuck off.”

You wake up in bed. That guy’s so easy to anger. Maybe you can find someone in the red light district willing enough to become an evil entity’s fucktoy.
Well, whatever you do today, you’ll have to start with breakfast.
You get up, get dressed, and bring up a nice big tray of food. Coffee, milk, eggs, bacon, and Verossian toast. The smell wakes your harem up.
“Ugh... food.”
You set the tray down and start eating.
“What’s the agenda, Jack?” Helena says, stifling a yawn.

>[]Need to go find/buy someone and push them into a Void portal.
>[]Is there a shrine to Alagos? I could show up, improve my reputation.
>[]We’re gonna visit your parents.
>I had a chat with Demon tonight. Do you think adasser would be willing to send a follower to relieve him, in his lonesome void?
>[]And we're gonna visit your parents.
“Well, if they want to go, why stop them?”
Hmm... well, you could always just ask her if she was willing to spare a servant.
“I guess we’ll worry about that later. Right now, we’re off to visit your parents.”


You give the man eyeing you a glare, purposefully keeping a hand on your gun. He quickly disappears into an alleyway.
The red light district was definitely interesting. Gauzy curtains do little to hide the sounds of moaning and raucous celebration in the building’s lining the streets. A large number of establishments here are brothels, though there are many taverns and gambling houses to be found.
The largest building in the area was the headquarters of the Cult of Lust. It wasn’t at all impressive as the temple of Adasser itself, but there was definitely some funding behind it.
You enter the building, greeted by incense and scantily clad servants.
A slim Orc girl grabs her in a hug.
“Which one of these three is it?”
“Uh... hi, Alyssa. He’s the blue-haired one. His name’s Jack.”
Alyssa smiles at you.
“I’m so glad Helena’s found someone to spend her life with. How serious is it?”
“We were going to meet her parents—“
“Oh my. Well, follow me.”
She leads you to a sitting room of sorts and knocks on a door at the far end. You think you can hear giggling on the other end.
“Uh, excuse me. Helena’s here.”
After a brief moment, the door opens. An Imp couple walks out, presumably Helena’s parents. The mother holds a tiny child up to her breast.
They each give her a hug before stepping back.
“Jack. Blue hair.”
“Welcome, Jack.”
The father shakes your hand.
“My name is Kenneth. This is Moira.”
“Uh... nice to meet you.”
You all sit down on some couches. This incense really makes you feel like sneezing.
“So, how did you all meet?” Moira asks.

>[]Helena drugged me, I sort of kidnapped the lizards.
>[]I was teaching your daughter how to throw punches, and then it just kinda escalated.
>[]They were enthralled by my godly charisma.
>[]I was teaching your daughter how to throw punches, and then it just kinda escalated.
>[]And they were enthralled by my godly charisma.
Vaux seems to think your ‘godly charisma’ comment is funny for some reason.
“I suppose it isn’t the most romantic meeting, but it could be worse.”
Kenneth rubs his chin.
“Helena, would you mind if I spoke privately with your friend?”
“Uh... not at all.”
Your harem clears out, leaving you alone with Helena’s parents.
“So, my boy.”
“Yes, sir?”
“Call me Kenneth. Here, have a drink.”
He hands you a glass of fruit juice. Too early for alcohol.
“So, what are your plans with our daughter?”
*sips nervously*
“Uhhhhh, she’s great wife material. Every time I’ve been in need, she’s offered to help. We’ve saved each other’s lives a few times.”
“Good. Somewhat worrying, but good.”
Fuck, you’re sweating. This was stressful.
“Jack, blue hair... you aren’t Alagos’s child, are you?” Moira asks.
“Grandchild. Aisha’s my mom.”
“Yes, you got kidnapped, didn’t you?”
Now you’re getting woozy...
You stand up and fall over, clawing your way up onto the end table.
“Runs in the family, I see.” you mutter as the drugs start to take effect.
I’m getting a fucking drink tester after this... you think as your vision darkens.


You wake with a start on a stone floor. You’re in a large, square room with no visible source of the light around you.
“Ah, he’s awake!” Kenneth’s voice echoes around the chamber.
“What the hell is—WHY AM I NAKED!?”
“Just making sure you’ll be able to satisfy our daughter’s needs.”
“Meh. Look, it’s just a quick gauntlet to test your worth. If it makes you feel better, your things are right through that door.”
You stand up and eye the door to the next room.
“There will be hell to pay.”
“Ah, we’ll be laughing this off in a few hours. Y’know. If you’re worthy.”
You sigh and push the door open. Your gun and sword are lying on a stone plinth in the middle of an empty room.
“Well, go on. Pick them up.”
“Oh, fuck you. Couldn’t be a little more subtle?”
“I don’t know what you mean. We’ve left your stuff right there.”

What do you do now?
Take our things and start walking around
Well, here we go.
You walk all the way across the big, empty, obviously trapped room and put on your belt.
Nothing happens.
“Dammit, he’s a genius!”
You sigh and look up at the ceiling.
“That’s right. And hey, WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?”
“You’ll get them soon enough. Onward!”
You open the door at the end of the room, revealing a foot-deep pool of water. The only dry space was occupied by some blindfolded half-wolverine people.
“I smell something...” one of them says. “It’s suspicious.”
“Be very quiet, Jack.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”

>[]Fine. Stealth it is. (D20)
>[]Run for it.
>[]Fire some shots and go while they’re distracted.
Rolled 1 (1d20)

Rolled 2 (1d20)

Rolled 3 (1d20)

Stand back and zap the water.
You take a step forward and faceplant in the pool, making a loud SPLASH.
“Hm? There!”
The wolverines leap off their platform and start attacking you.
“WHO ARE YOU?” one asks.
“WHO ARE YOU?!” you answer.
One grabs your head and shoved it under the water. You kick him away and gasp for breath.
You wrench yourself away from them and throw yourself into the next room, sighing in relief as the door closes behind you.
You pound your fists on the door.
“We’ll make sure to give it back to you, if you survive the—“
You pace back and forth, cursing violently. Surely... aha!
A vent in the wall blows warm air onto you. Probably to make sure you don’t get pneumonia.
“Come on, humor us. Just a few more rooms, okay?”

>[]Nah. (Pry vent open)
>[]Would Helena really approve of this?
>[]I’ll jump through your hoops. Then I hope we get to see each other again.
>[]I'll jump through your hoops. Then I hope we get to see each other again.
“Alright, then. Good luck!”
You grumble angrily to yourself. At least they left your boxers in this room.
The next room contains a female Orc, bashing at the glass walls of her prison with a claymore.
“Calm her down to proceed.”
You sigh and wave to get her attention.
“Miss? You need help?”
She points to a brass key lying on a pedestal. There’s a lock inside the cage... you could toss it to her, there’s no ceiling on her cage.
You look down at your sword. You’re decent, but would decent be enough to incapacitate/kill her if need be?

>[]Do I have your word you won’t hurt me?
>[]Why are you stuck here?
>[]Toss the key over. What could go wrong?
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>[]Seduce her into calming and wearing herself out on the pommel of her sword
>[]If you catch my meaning
Dat 17 tho.
“I’m going to need you to calm down. We won’t get anywhere if you tire yourself out smashing the walls.”
“Calm down first.”
The Orc sighs and sits on the floor.
“Throw me the key.”
“Just a few moments. Do you have a name?”
“...weird name.”
“If you have a problem with it, shove it up your ass.”
“My name’s Jack—“
“I never asked.”
“Okay, you know what?”
Your tail and horns appear, and you start to focus a lust spell.
“Wait, you’re like one of those—“
Lash is promptly reduced to a heavy-lidded, sleepy state.
“Are you calm, Lash?”
She nods dreamily.
“Okay, here.”
You toss her the key. She reluctantly gets up and opens the door.
“Hi, Jack...”
“Hi, Lash. How do you feel?”
“Everything’s pretty great... I don’t know you at all, but I think you’re pretty cute.”
She starts tousling your hair. This is pretty worrying... she’s about seven feet tall, and you couldn’t do shit if she wanted to beat the snot out of you.
“Y-You’ve got some nice muscles, Lash.”
“You, too. For a Sylph. Mm... I feel like I’m supposed to be angry at you for some reason.”

>[]Let’s get out of here, kay?
>[]Hey, weird question. Would you mind riding your sword pommel?
>[]Exit the room and dismiss the spell.
>>[]Let’s get out of here, kay?
Ride her to victory.
>[]Ey gurl, I've been thinking
>[]I need someone to watch over my wives while I'm out working outside and i was thinking that could be you, you know?
>[]Big strong woman who can watch over them and help them while I'm out.
>[]What do you say girl? You would get your own bed, we'll get you food and anything else you need
“That sounds better than being a homeless adventurer...” she mumbles, still languid from your spell. You’d have to dispel that if you got into combat.
“Well, come on.”
Lash picks up her claymore and follows you into the next room.
Ah, shit.
“Obstacle course! Get through in under thirty seconds, and the door will open! If you don’t make it in time, we have a surprise for you! The timer starts when you’re both ready.
Oh. You’ll have to run together. Well, you’ve done courses like this in the past.

>[]Release Lash, explain the situation and try not to get hit.
>[]Lash, I need you to run this fast, okay? (D20)
>[]...I think she’s too tall and too heavy for some of these. Can I run by myself?
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>[]Lash, I need you to run this fast, okay?
>[]...I think she’s too tall and too heavy for some of these. Can I run by myself?
Rolled 15 (1d20)

“Nope! She’ll be fine! Get ready!”
Guess you’ll just have to work with it.
“Lash, I need you to do this as fast as you can.”
She smiles and nods absentmindedly.
You get to the start and loosen your muscles.
“Ready... GO!”
Up the wall, down the zip line, pick up the rock, throw it at the cutout, cut off it’s head, jump the pit, through the logs, over the bridge, take the flag!
You raise your arms in triumph. “Under thirty seconds, just as promised.”
You look down to see Lash looking around, confused.
“Was I supposed to go..?”
“Dispel magic!” Helena’s sadistic parents shout. Lash shakes her head as if to clear it.
“What happened? Who—YOU! GET DOWN HERE!”
A door opens in one of the walls, allowing a lamia with a trident and net to slither out.
“So hungry... you’ll do nicely.” she hisses.
Lash lunges toward the lamia, only to get entangled in her net.

Roll 1d20.
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>[]Assist orc wife protector
You run forward and deflect the lamia’s trident before stabbing her in the ribs. She hisses and tries to retaliate, but you cut clean through the wooden handle of her weapon.
Lash throws off the net and lunges, chopping the poor lamia into mincemeat. You slowly back away as she rages.
Lash pins you to the wall by the neck.
“Don’t EVER use that spell on me again! I’ll refrain from killing you, but only because you’ve offered me a job.”
She releases you.
“Don’t get any ideas. I doubt you’d be able to please me, anyway.”

>[]Wanna bet on that?
>[]Lets get going.
>[]Lash, I’m just so enamored by your beauty... can I feel your muscles? (D20)
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>[]That's what they all say...Wanna bet on that?
>[]Let's get going
Rolled 14 (1d20)

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>[]Lash, I’m just so enamored by your beauty... can I feel your muscles? (D20)
>>1945766 (shit I’ll write for this one later)
You shift your feet awkwardly. That’s not what they’re supposed to say.
“...let’s get going.”
“Uh-uh-uh! You still need to both beat the—“
Lash kicks the door down.
“...honey, did you forget to have those enchanted?”
You storm through the the next room. A stone bowl of water lies in the center.
“...the hell is this?”
“Ah. The best part.”
“We would like you to give us some of your seed. We’ll be able to tell if you’re a good match for Helena.”
“Breeding isn’t everything. What about love? I’ll give her plenty of love.”
“Moira just wanted an excuse to have clueless suitors jack off into a bowl.”
Lash looks up in disgust.
“Those priests had the gall to tell me I was uncivilized. What in Gork’s name is this? We just had fights over mates, it was nice and simple!”

>[]Lash, let’s just get out.
>[]Seriously, I’m never coming over for holiday dinners.
>[]You want me to jack off into a bowl? Well, never let it be said I’m a pussy.
>[]Seriously, I'm never coming over for holiday dinners.
>[]Do i actually need to do this or is this just some fetish thing for her?
>>[]Seriously, I'm never coming over for holiday dinners.
>>[]Do i actually need to do this or is this just some fetish thing for her?
>Ask Lash for help.
>Wink at her.
“Well, you don’t HAVE to. But it would really help us out. And, y’know. Moira would be happy.”
“This is a travesty.” Lash growls. “Jack, you’re not just gonna sit here and let them boss you around, right?”
She tries to grab your shirt collar. Except you don’t have a shirt.
“...do whatever you want. I’ll be by the door when you’re ready.”
“You could just leave.”
“You’re my employer. I can’t ‘just leave’.”
You shrug and look at the bowl. Just under waist height. Definitely convenient for jacking off into.
...seriously, this was fucking weird.

>[]Yeah, no.
>[]I’ll see if I can get it up...
>[]Lash, could you help me? I’ll give you an extra-comfy room! (D20)
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>[]Just because you're her parents okay?
>[]Get started
>[]Hey Lash give me a hand would you?
>[]Or a mouth if you're up for it ;)
>[]I'll give you an extra-comfy room!
Rolled 19 (1d20)

Just before sleep roll.
“...if it will get it done faster.”
Lash stands behind you, pulls your boxers down, and starts stroking your dick.
“Hm. At least I can stroke it with two hands. Barely.”
You grunt as Lash’s firm breasts press into your back. Her strokes are slow and deliberate, making sure to please every inch of your throbbing cock.
“Unh... yeah...”
Godsdammit, they’re broadcasting that whore getting off on this.
“Are you close?” Lash asks impatiently.
“Uh, not really—“
“Hm! We’ll see about that.”
She kneels in front of you and starts sucking your length, taking care to keep her teeth out of the way. Her chin smacks gently against your balls every time you bottom out in her throat.
“Shit, you’re good at this. Have you had a lot of practice?”
Lash pulls her mouth away from your dick.
“Do you want me to do this or not?”
“Don’t mind me.”
She goes back to her sucking. You swear you can hear slight moans as her face buries into your chest. Slowly, almost unnoticeably, her hand creeps into her pants.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum—!”
You explode in her mouth, sighing as your thick load pours down her throat. Her mouth keeps sucking, clearly eager to swallow as much as possible. When your orgasm is done, she pulls away and spits a wad of cum into the bowl.
“There. Let’s get going.”
“You wanna wash this off?”
Lash stares at you before getting back in her knees.
“Just this once.”
She licks your shaft clean before wiping her mouth off.
“Are we done now?!”
“Yep! Just go grab your things in the next room.”
You go through the door. True to their word, Helena’s parents left your clothes and gun on a pedestal. You get dressed and head through the next door, which leads to the same sitting room you’d been in. Kenneth and Moira stand there.
“Ah, Jack! Did you have a—“
Lash picks the man up by his shirtfront and stares him in the eye.
“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t dropkick you to Bluefield!”
“Hold on, let’s not be hasty!”

>[]Leave him alone. He isn’t worth it.
>[]Where’s Helena? I’ll have her pass judgement.
>[]Go ahead, Lash.
>>[]Where’s Helena? I’ll have her pass judgement.
>[]Aren't you neglecting Moira?
“She has a child. I will spare her.”
Moira clutches her baby closer to her chest.
“Where’s Helena?”
“She should be right outside.”
You leave the room. Your harem sits on several chairs, half-asleep.
“Wha—Jack! It’s been hours, what the hell have you been doing!? And who’s this?”
You gesture at her father.
“This guy thought it’d be funny if he made me run a gauntlet to see if I’m ‘worthy’. Lash here was stuck down there, so I hired her.”
Helena glares at her father.
“DAD! This is a serious problem! This fetish is ruining your life!”
“I can’t help it! It’s just so beautiful! The struggle against an oppressor is—“
“Save your semantics for someone who gives a shit!” Lash yells, shaking him.
“...he gets off on watching people run gauntlets? The fuck?”
“My daughter gets off on drugging people.” Kenneth adds.
“Why are these fetishes so weirdly specific?”
“It’s what rank is based on in the Cult. Don’t quote me on this, but I heard our leader masturbates to floor tiles.”
Helena sighs.
“Dad... just get help. Please.”
“...I’ll try, sweetie.”
You clasp your hands together.
“Well. This was an... interesting meeting. But we must be going to the inn. It’s getting late, and I’m hungry.”
“Bye, Jack!”
Lash Let’s Helena’s father fall on his ass. His wife helps him up before waving goodbye.


You get dinner (you’d been knocked out for a while) at a lovely riverside cafe.
“So... what did you hire her for?” Helena asks.
“My name is Lash. And Jack hired me to guard you three while he’s off on adventures.”
“Oh? Nothing else?” Helena smirks.
“Nothing else.”
“She blew me in that dungeon—“
“That was out of necessity.”
“Your hand was in your pants.”
“I was itchy.”
You roll your eyes and sip your coffee.

>[]Lash, do you like girls? These three do.
>[]Did I miss anything while I was gone?
>[]Let’s go back to the inn. I’ve got a hell of a night planned.
>[]All three from top to bottom
“That doesn’t matter, does it? I’ve been hired to guard them, they can keep themselves entertained.”
You shrug. She’ll come around.
“So, did I miss anything while I was gone?”
“Lunch, for one thing. We went out and bought ourselves some stuff, and I believe...”
Helena digs through a bag and hands you a package of fudge.
“We got you this.”
“Aww, thanks. Lash, I’ll share with you.”


You lie down on the bed and sigh. It was a productive day. All you need to seduce Lash is time, and you’ll have plenty of that.
Speaking of...
Your Orc guard emerges from the bath, a towel hanging around her neck.
“I would’ve thought you cared more about modesty.”
“Hmph. I don’t give a shit. If anyone touches me, I’ll crush them.”
You lie back down. If you play your cards right, maybe you can win her over.
“Lash, you mind if I touch your muscles? I’m an admirer.”
“You are, huh? Well, go on.”
You get up and look her over.
...dammit, your masculinity is at stake. She’s more buff than you are.
“Wow. What’s your secret?”
“I rowed heavy boats across a lake for years.”
“Yeesh. I should do that.”
“Your arms would snap.”
All this muscle didn’t detract from her figure a bit. She still had some nice curves...

>[]Go for her ass. Glutes are muscles, too.
>[]Earlier, you said I couldn’t please you. Let’s see about that.
>[]Well, goodnight.
>>[]Well, goodnight.
You get into bed and snuggle up to your harem.
“...and where do I sleep?” Lash asks.
“Godsdamned fucking—“
She climbs into bed as well. It’s pretty cramped with five people.
“Lash, you’re so warm.” Kāpili says.


The next morning, you wake and rub your eyes. Somehow, you’d ended up cuddling with Lash. The other girls must’ve moved you together.
She WAS warm. And surprisingly soft. What a wonderful turn of events.

>[]Hold her a little, then get breakfast. You’ll seduce her later.
>[]Whisper in her ear.
>[]She’s off guard. You can’t pass up this chance.
>[]Hold her a little, then get breakfast. Whisper in her ear you'll seduce her later.
>>[]Hold her a little, then get breakfast. You’ll seduce her later.
“I’ll be back for you.”
Lash mumbles, seemingly annoyed at you on a subconscious level. It’s her own fault she sleeps nude.
You get up and yet again grab breakfast. Knowing Orcs, you get a separate tray for Lash, with lots of protein. Your family has a ridiculous fortune and a monopoly on several markets, it’s not like extra food is gonna put a dent in that.
A few minutes later, you’re marveling at your new bodyguard’s appetite.
“The hell was this cooked on? I’ve had better bacon off of a hot rock.”
“Oh, Lash. Don’t be so picky.”
“Picky? I’ve drunk muddy water out of a wagon rut, and you have the gall to call me picky.”
She chugs her steaming hot coffee and slams the mug on the table.
“Mm. Got any more?”
“Uh, not to share.”

>[]So... tell us about yourself.
>[]Do you happen to like seafood? We’re going to a coastal city, after all.
>[]We should be going. The ride back’s not gonna get any shorter.
>[]So...tell us about yourself.
>[]Do you like seafood? And we should get going too.
(Sorry for the late reply, Internet shit itself)
“I haven’t had seafood.”
“Hm. Well, we should be going. Pack your things.”


As Veross recedes into the distance, you look over at Lash.
“So. Tell us a little about yourself.”
She shrugs.
“I grew up in a village, knocked some skulls off of shoulders, and eventually wandered outside. There’s plenty of work for someone like me. I believe someone called me a ‘murderhobo’? Silly name. But your offer of an ‘extra-comfy room’ is better than anything I’ve ever gotten. If you mistreat me I’ll just take your money and move on.”
“Ah, so glad I can count on you. Tell me, was that blowjob your first—“
Lash laughs.
“As if! Any self-respecting Orc warrior has their first time soon as able. No pregnancies, we’re just training ourselves.”
“Ah. Sounds interesting. Hey, you might actually get a chance to kill some things later. That is, if the Imperial Army hasn’t gotten around to it.”
“Hm. I suppose I could use a few murders to calm my nerves.”


“Here it is.”
You whistle softly as you approach the remains of the log wall. Place must’ve been firebombed.
“That might have been Dad’s handiwork. It’s well within flying range.”
Lash raises an eyebrow.
“My father’s a dragon. That’s why I have scales on my arms.”
“Well! I wouldn’t have thought it. You look more like a bundle of sticks than a dragon.”

>[]Hey, I need to go show you to Dad! He’ll be so pissed.
>[]Oh gods, I forgot. Lash, have you heard of our Atmospheric Overlord?
>[]Lets just get home. This truck’s lack of suspension is giving me a headache.
>[]Hey, I need to go show you to Dad! He'll be so pissed.
>[]But let's do that tomorrow, Let's just get home. This truck's lack of suspension is giving me a headache.
Everyone agrees with your sentiment.
A short while later, you’re back at your house.
“What am I missing... oh, right.”
You walk over to Legs’s nest.
“Hey, Leg? We’re home!”
The dryder pokes her head over the wall of her home.
“Oh, welcome back! Aquila’s here, let me get him for you.”
She disappears before climbing out of the nest, handing your puppy to you.
“The children are gonna miss him.”
“Aw. I’ll bring him over if I’m not busy. See you around.”
“Bye, Jack.”
The spider lady waved goodbye as you enter your house.
“And what exactly is that?” Lash asks, scowling.
“Aquila, the family puppy.”
You set him down on the floor, and he immediately runs over to examine the new arrival.
“That’s a tusked wolf cub, not a puppy.”
“So? He’s not gonna eat you.”
“When he gets older he might. Where are you gonna put him?”
“There’s a kennel out back. He’ll be nice and comfortable in there.”
Lash shrugs and walks over to your fridge.
“Well, you won’t mind if I—“
She opens it up and pauses.
“...why is there an ice elemental in here?”
“How else are we supposed to keep the food cold?”
You’d tried to seduce it once (all elemental look like chicks for some reason), but she was WAY too cold. You don’t really fancy giving your dick frostbite.
The Orc shrugs and shuts the fridge. “I can eat later. Where’s my room?”

>[]Try and put her in the master bedroom.
>[]Put her in the guest room.
>[]If you have sex with me I’ll totally kit out your room. Your own fridge, weapon rack, some pelt blankets...
>[]Grab the girls by their waist
>[]If you have sex with us we'll totally kit out your room. Your own fridge, weapon rack, some pelt blankets...
>[]For now you'll be in the guest room...
>[]Unless you wanna share the master bedroom with all of us
>[]Regardless of her, wife time on the bed!
Lash scratches her chin.
“...fine. But I’m on top.”
You go upstairs, strip, and lie down on the bed. Kāpili cradles your head in her lap, while Helena and Vaux lie on either side of you.
Lash wastes no time, straddling your erect cock and grunting in satisfaction.
She starts rolling her hips back and forth, sighing and flipping her hair over her shoulder.
“Been a while since I got to do this. You better not cum early or I’ll tear your throat out.”
Helena and Vaux inch closer to you, initiating a three way kiss. You put your hands on Lash’s hips as she starts to bounce, thrusting your hips up to meet her.
“That’s the spirit! Angle it back—no, the other way.”
You change the angle of your thrusting, causing Lash to tighten up in pleasure.
“FUCK yeah, right there!”
Your Orc bodyguard starts groping her tits, rolling her nipples between her fingers.
“Gods, yes... that’s good! Get up here!”
She grabs your head and pulls you into a sitting position, pressing your face into her considerable cleavage. Her hands keep you there while her hips bounce wildly on your throbbing shaft, bringing you ever closer to orgasm.
Lash’s juices spray out of her tight cunt, soaking your thighs with cum. Thick ropes of semen burst out of your cock and flow into her insides, making a complete mess of her pussy.
“Whew! I needed that.”
Lash unceremoniously releases you, letting your head fall back into Kāpili’s lap. Helena takes the moment to grab the back of Lash’s head and pull her in for a kiss.
“MMM! Mmm...”
After a few seconds, she pulls away, a strand of saliva connecting their mouths. You notice that Helena’s wearing her special lipstick today.
“What the hell... what was in that!?”
“Just something that’s gonna make you feel really good.”
Helena gets off the bed and rummages through a drawer, pulling out a strapon.
“Now, let’s get nice and comfy—“
“Hell no! Gimme that!”
Lash snatches the toy from her and starts figuring out how to put it on.
“Drug me, try to fuck me...”


An hour of vigorous sex later, you collapse, completely exhausted. Lash had gone from ramming Helena’s ass to fucking all your wives. Fortunately, she didn’t seem intent on pegging you. Good.


The next morning, you wake up, clean yourselves up, and get breakfast.
“Godsdammit, how did this happen?” Lash asks. “It was just supposed to be guard duty.”
“It was a combination of pheromones, drugs, and greed that led to last night’s events.” you say. “Of course, you didn’t seem to mind.”
“Shut up.”
You shrug and eat another spoonful of cereal.

>[]Well. Off to visit Papa!
>[]Man, there’s a lot of you now... I’m gonna pay a visit to the prison, eat a few souls.
>[]Actually, I should go see Mom. She might have an assignment for me, and I can get more money.
>[]Well. Off to visit Papa! Then Mom!
You head over to the castle and burst in the living area.
“Oh, father dearest~!”
“The prodigal son is home.” he mutters, refusing to look up from his book.
“I have brought someone!”
He sighs and looks up in annoyance.
“...godsdammit, Jack. How many are you going to get!?”
“One of every race!”
“You do realize there are over a hundred sapient races on this planet, right?”
“Who’s that—Jackie!”
Your mother gives you and your harem her signature hug.
“Oh, you’ve got yourself a strong lady! You’re so tall.”
“Uh, I’m just a—“
“Hush, you don’t have to say a word. My son is just the best, isn’t he?”
You inspect the barrel of your gun for dirt.
“...I suppose you could say that.”
“Aisha, honey.”
Your father gently puts a hand on her shoulder and goes off to have a talk.
“Fucking... dammit... shit... all out of ammo.”
Your mother runs over and sobs into your shoulder.
“The ‘house’ that’s government property?”
“D-Dad, maybe we should make her some tea...”


“I’m very sorry about earlier. I get a little emotional.” Mom says, wiping her eyes.
“I can see that.” Lash replies, warily.
Your father looks you in the eye.
“I need a straight answer. How many women do you plan on... ‘collecting’?”

>[]Just these four.
>[]One of every race, like I said.
>[]As many as possible.
>[]Just these four
>[]Maybe a few more depending on how bad they're doing for themselves, can't let a girl suffer gnome saiyan?
“Oh, so if they aren’t doing too well you’ll take them in? Wonderful. I’ll start painting the sign. ‘Tassoni Poorhouse: Fair Maidens Only’. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have money, the proprietor just wants sex!”
“Oh, Dad. Your hatred for polyamory has been well established, you don’t have to keep emphasizing it.”
“Well, look where it got me. Two bastard children, and one of them tried to kill us. Why would I ever have misgivings about that?”
“Honey, please stop arguing with Jackie. Poor little thing.”
Your mother gives him a pat on the head.
“He’s just been having a bad day.” she apologizes.
“Yes, that’s understandable.” Lash says.
“I just kind of envy Jackie for having so many wives now. I’d get some more hubbies if Kasai wasn’t my one true love.”
The look on your father’s face seems to disagree with that opinion.
“Ah, but that’s the curse of the succubus. Anyway. Did you need anything? If not, I need to plan our next romantic evening. It’s been so long...”
“Honey, we had one last month.”
“We should have them every DAY!”
Your father leaves to go breathe fire on something.

>[]Uh, yeah. I was wondering if I could have an assignment.
>[]I need to eat some more souls. I need more energy to keep up with my harem.
>[]I just wanted to thank you for being a wonderful, beautiful mother.
Fuck, meant to link
>[]Uh, yeah. I wqs wondering if I could have an assignment.
>[]And I just wanted to thank you for being a wonderful, beautiful mother!
“Aww, thank you sweetie.”
Your mom gives you another hug. She’s such a nice lady.
“Assignment... I’ve got one! There’s a ruined city to the northeast, in Karadan Wood. We’ve sent some troops to investigate suspicious activity, but they haven’t found anything. We need someone to stealthily make their way over there and find it what’s going on.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Can do. Probably bandits again. Or cultists. Or cultist bandits.”
“Well, we can’t be too careful. I’ll make you some sandwiches!”
“That sounds great—wait, when do I leave?”
“...kay. Love you, Mom.”
“Love you too, Jackie.”
You leave the castle and look around the city.
“Well. What to do now...”

>[]Lash, we must get you seafood.
>[]You guys go home. I’m gonna get me some souls.
>[]As a treat, I’ll take you all to buy some sexy underwear.
>[]Lash, we must get you seafood!
>[]After that, as a treat I'll take you all to buy some sexy underwear! And gear for Lash.
You pick up some food from a mid-priced restaurant and take your harem to get some clothes.
“This is REALLY good.” Lash says, wolfing down her fish and chips.
“It is?”
“It is.”
Huh. Well, you know what to bribe her with now.
“We’re here. Here’s some money... me and Lash will be back later, take your time.”
“Thanks, Jack. Now, Kāpili. I was thinking we could get you something dark to contrast with your scales...”
You head over to the armory with Lash.
“You know how to fire a gun?”
“I guess I’ll have to teach you. Safety’s there, just keep your arms braces and squeeze the trigger.”
Lash flinches slightly at she fires at the target. The bullet passes right by the heart.
“Wow. That’s pretty good!”
“Is it? I didn’t kill him.”
“You put him in enough pain that he can’t fire back. That’s good enough.”

>[]Try this gun. I want to see which is best for you. (D4)
>[]Let’s work on your stance... here, stand sideways.
>[]You want to get some underwear, too? I mean, it’s on my dime.
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>[]Try this gun. I want to see which is best for you. (D4)
>>[]Let’s work on your stance... here, stand sideways.
>[]You want to get some underwear, too? I mean, it’s on my dime
You hand Lash a shotgun and help her adjust her stance.
“Okay, feet apart. Make sure you’ve got both hands on it... fire!”
Lash nails the center of the target’s chest.
“Great job! So the difference between this and the other one is that this fires a spread of bullets. It’s better used up close to someone.”
“Good. I hate long range.”
You casually lean against the wall as Lash practices reloading.
“You know... if you wanted to get some underwear as well, I’m paying.”
“And why would I want some frilly rags?” she replies, firing again.
“I dunno. Just to try something new? You don’t really have any sleepwear, anyway.”
She frowns. “That’s true. The more defense against your advances, the better.”
She shrugs.
“Why not? It’s coming out of your wallet, anyway... this isn’t coming out of my wages, is it?”
“That’s alright, then.”


Ah. You remember why you don’t like clothes shopping now.
There’s nothing to read out here except some trashy romance novels. VERY trashy.
It’s been over an hour since Lash disappeared into the changing rooms. Why is there so much giggling back there, do they serve drinks?
The guy next to you, probably a merchant, looks bored out of his mind as well.

>[]...you got a pack of cards?
>[]Start writing in your idea book. Surely there’s a way to make this wait less agonizing.
>[]Get yourself a wig and a Ring of Genderswap. This plan will probably end badly.
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