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/qst/ - Quests

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Last time, half-dragon Jack climbed a mountain to capture a bird lady, failed, and decided to pull a Chris Columbus. He's currently on a ship headed for a largely unknown continent. This probably won't end well.
You peer into the water. There's something... there it is! It kind of looks like--oh. Water nymphs.
You contemplate sharing your discovery before deciding not to. Most likely outcome is that the crew would try to capture one. If they succeeded... well, you'd rather not have to witness a gang rape.
Instead, you go listen to grandma. She's currently telling some stories to some of the crew.
"...it was freezing that year. Diluvium completely iced up. You know how the streets can get. All that water froze, and every day you could hear the constant sound of people falling on their asses."
She laughs at the memory.
"Only time I've ever seen that happen. Winter's usually mild. It's normally around sixty-eight degrees down there... couldn't have been higher than forty that whole winter. Krystal used it as an excuse to--well, you know how she was. We didn't get much sleep."
Someone starts shouting and struggling belowdecks.
"What is it now..." Tsuyoi sighs.
"It wasn't my idea! I would've been off the ship in a heartbeat if you hadn't decided to set sail! There's nothing valuable here, anyway!"
Some sailors throw a man to the deck. He wisely decides not to get up.
Stubb stands over him, shaking his head.
"You should know how we deal with stowaways..."
You get closer to see the man's face.
Hey, it's Montresor!

>[]Hi! Remember me?
>[]Where's your sister?
>[]Pretend you don't know him.
>>[]Hi! Remember me?>[]Where's your sister?
>[]If she's here and pulls that transforming into Krystal trick I AM going to kill her.
"Oh gods, I'm guilty. Just throw me in the sea, please."
"Don't worry, Montresor. I'm sure I can get a good defense for you. And your sister's gonna be worried sick, assuming she didn't follow you."
The crew perks up at the mention of a sister.
A little red-haired girl runs up to Stubb and starts weakly hitting his leg with her fists.
"Let him go, you big meanie!"
The crew groans in despair.
"...this is your sister?"
"Crimson, I told you to stay hidden! And yes, she is."
Stubb sighs and rubs his face.
"Well, we can't toss him overboard now. You know Jack?"
Montresor grimaces.
"And his mother, unfortunately."
"Well... Jack, what do you think we should do with these two?"
"Hi, Jackie!" Crimson says, smiling at you.
Montresor mumbles something about running out of ammunition.

>[]Put them to work. Might as well.
>[]I'll take them as personal slaves.
>[]I'll take care of the girl, toss Montresor.
>[]Slap her again
>[]That's for the transformation thing, again
>[]Toss them both out
>>[]Put them to work. Might as well.
You slap Crimson across the face.
"That's for impersonating Krystal."
A hand falls upon your shoulder. You turn around and immediately get slapped yourself.
You fall to the deck, ears ringing.
"You do not slap women." Tsuyoi says, staring down at you. Crimson sticks her tongue out.
"This is discrimination... stop persecuting me..."
"Oh, get up."
You do as she says.
"Stubb, just put them to work."
"Oh, no you don't. This young lady is coming with me."
Tsuyoi grabs Crimson's hand.
"Come. I'll get you some milk. Does your face hurt?"
"A little..."
You, Stubb, and Montresor give each other weary looks. The crew goes back to performing their various duties.

Several days pass.

"Auntie Tsuyoi's your grandma, Jack? Wow, you're so lucky. Y'know, my grandma always said that you should respect your elders, because they remember everything!"
You sigh.
"Wanna know what my other grandma said?" you ask her.
"Get back to work!"
Crimson huffs and goes back to scrubbing the wooden deck.
Well, Krystal HAD said that quite a few times.

>[]Look over your sea chart. Again.
>[]Get back to work yourself. Stubb's probably gonna go for his rounds soon.
>[]Loudly lament the lack of sea monsters/sexy mermaids so far.
>>[]Look over your sea chart. Again.
And don't forget to use the sextant.
You consult your chart. As always, it's very devoid of detail. You have a general idea of the distance, but little else. There's a kickass illustration of Diluvium, though.
Consulting a sextant, you think you're a little less than a third of the way there. Oh, boy.
"Man overboard!"
You run to the side of the ship. One of the crew is happily drowning himself in between some watery bimbo's tits.
"She isn't very decent, is she?" Crimson comments.
"I don't think they know how cloth works."
A man ties a rope around his waist and dives after his comrade.
"Grab the end! Haul him up!"
You run to help the other crew members out with the rope. The diver struggles to subdue his friend and drag him away from the siren.

Roll 1d20.
Rolled 7 (1d20)

Rolled 1 (1d20)

Indeed. Hope the ship survives at least
The sailor fends off any attempts to rescue him, and is promptly dragged into the depths. At least he died getting a hug.
You haul the would-be rescuer up and gather at the railing.
"Shouldn't you say a few words, Captain..?"
Stubb nods.
He clears his throat.
"Gordon was a good sailor. He did as he was told without delay, looked out for his crewmates, and behaved well on leave. Unfortunately, as we have seen, his great weakness was women. All we can do is hope the gods will give him a good place in Heaven, or failing that, a painless death. Amen."
"Now, get going. Gordon wouldn't want us to hold up the voyage for him."
Well, damn. First casualty.
You sigh and lean on the railing. Sure, tits are great, but are they really worth diving into the ocean and drowning for? Must've been enchantment. They can't be been that great, they'd taste all salty.
Your eyes are drawn to the darkening horizon. It's not that late... oh, fuck.
"Storm incoming." Crimson says. "I thought you had that taken care of."
"I did, too..."

>[]Grandpa, please.
>[]Say an actual prayer. It'll hold more weight than a request.
>[]What do you want? I'll give you a few rounds with Helena.
>[]Batten down the hatches. No pussy-ass thunderstorm is gonna make you get on your knees.
>>[]Say an actual prayer. It'll hold more weight than a request.
>>[]Say an actual prayer. It'll hold more weight than a request.
>[]Say an actual prayer. It'll hold more weight than a request.
>[]Grandpa plz
You retire to your cabin and check through the Codex Tempestus again.
Jesus, that's long-winded. He'll probably understand if you abridge this.
You bow your head and clasp your hands together.
"Alagos, our lord... please spare thy servants thy wrath. Allow us to pass unmolested over these waters, so as to further your glory. Amen."
Well, you did it. Is he gonna answer..?
"...the fuck? NAH!?"
«Look, if I got rid of this storm, sixty thousand backwater farmers would starve due to their crops drying out. More importantly, Jeremiah won't slip in the mud and break his stupid fucking nose on a rock. Ha.»
"You're gonna put me and my friends through hell because you want some guy to break his nose?"
«Yeah, pretty much.»
"I'm telling Mom."
«Like that's gonna stop me. Don't be a pussy, just tie yourself to the mast or some shit.»
Grandpa's usually pretty chill, but if he wants to fuck something up, nobody can stop him. Except Aeneth, but that goes without saying. The thought that Krystal is probably giving him a tongue-lashing doesn't ease your mind.
You sigh and leave the cabin. Stubb glances at you.
"It didn't go well?"
"Nope. Get ready."
Everyone groans and starts getting the ship ready for the storm.
This was going to go swimmingly...

Roll 1d20.
Rolled 2 (1d20)

Rolled 2 (1d20)

Rolled 19 (1d20)

High rollers unite!
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>inb4 1
Rolled 1 (1d20)

And this is to go even further beyond
You tie yourself to the mast. It's a bit awkward that you and four others are leashed to a tree, but whatever. You're not worried about lightning, wood doesn't conduct electricity well.
Rorogan seems worryingly at ease. It'd be just like him to teleport home at the first sign of danger.
"Alright, brace yourselves!"
Final preparations are made before you hit the storm. Sails are taken down, wheels are lashed, and the crew hangs onto anything reasonably solid.
Almost immediately, a wave knocks you off your feet. The rope around your waist constricts painfully, nearly pinching you in half. You regain your breath before crawling back to the mast and hanging on for dear life.
"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit..."
The air next to the ship SPLITS open, blinding and deafening you. You swear you can hear malicious laughing over the wind.
"Don't tense up! Keep your muscles loose!" Tsuyoi shouts.
You try it. Your body rides along with the ship, making for a more terrifying but ultimately more comfortable experience. Now you just have to deal with this for a few hours.
A cry of pain rings out through the sound of waves and thunder. You see lightning arc across a sailor's body before he plunges over the railing.
You can make them out. Ghostly figures of women, crackling with electricity. One of them flies past you, nearly tearing you free of the mast.
Rorogan chants some arcane words, shouting above the storm. A CRACK accompanies the clouds above suddenly clearing in a circle around the ship. The elementals shrink back, hissing at him. They begin their own chants, closing the gap in the storm.
Rorogan shouts again, this time drinking a deep blue potion beforehand. The gap reappears, even wider this time.
The elementals shriek with rage and redouble their efforts. The gap closes even more quickly.
Rorogan crushes a ring underfoot, drinks a purple potion, and shouts again. His words physically shake the deck beneath you. The gap appears once again, even larger this time.
"Did it work..?" your uncle asks. He looks tired beyond all belief.
But no, the clouds inevitably begin spreading to oppress the ship. Rorogan holds up another potion before snorting in disgust. The contents turn an angry red and start boiling in his presence. If he drinks any more, he'd overdose.
You brace yourself as the storm closes in.


You rub your head as you look around.
Open ocean. Blazing sun. Wooden wreckage.
What happened again?
Oh, yeah.
The mast had been torn away from the ship, scattering everyone who had been tied to it. Except you. You just had to be the one who tied his knot too well.
At least you're lying down on the mast. You could've drowned if you had fallen off.
There is nothing in sight except some wooden planks, and water.
Endless water.
You fucking hate the ocean.

>[]Codec. Call anyone and everyone.
>[]Try and remember that flare spell. They might be around. (D20)
>[]Ask Krystal to kill grandpa for you.
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>[]Try and remember that flare spell. They might be around. (D20)
Nice double dubs
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>[]Try and remember that flare spell. They might be around. (D20)
>[]Hope that Crimson died
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>[]Try and remember that flare spell. They might be around. (D20)
Oh no
I'm sorry
You try to let a flare off. All it does is fizzle in the air before fading. Shit.
Well, there's a tricorn hat over there, so this isn't a complete failure. You put it on your head.
The sound of lapping water draws your attention. Looks like someone's trying to get to the surface.
"Hey! Up here! Follow the sound of my voice!"
They surface. You look deep into the rage-filled eyes of the Orc.
You grab a board out of the water and start thwacking him over the head.
The Orc tries to make it past your angry board-slapping in order to attack you, but you don't let up.
You turn and paddle away from the thing before lobbing a grenade back at him.
He dives as it explodes. The shockwave tips you off the mast. You surface and spit water, trying to climb back on.
"Ugh! Grandpa, you're such a dick! Why!? Storm elementals? Last I checked this wasn't Armageddon! Who did you declare war on!?"
The sky remains cheerfully silent.
"Jack? Jack, do you read me?"

>[]No. Leave me here to die.
>[]MMMGBLMMMBLLGGGG (drowning noises)
>Drowning noises then silence
Ee gotta pick the joke/throwaway option sometimes anon
>>[]MMMGBLMMMBLLGGGG (drowning noises)
YOU FUCKTARD, this is why we can't have nice things
drowning noises)
"Jack..? Jack!"
You stay silent.
"Dammit, find him! Isn't there a way to trace that?"
The codec shuts off.
"Well, they'll find me faster." you sigh in relief.
"Not fast enough."
You panic as a hand grabs your back and pulls you into the water. The Orc's got a bear grip and he isn't letting go.
You go for your sidearm and start blindly shooting behind you. The water tinged with blood, and you can feel the bear grip loosen.
You pull the pin on a grenade and let it drift down before swimming to the surface.
Another successful escape by Jack--
The grenade explodes, sending you careening into the sky.
You belly flop onto the water before scrambling back onto the mast.
"Ooooooooof... bad idea. What was I thinking... whyyyyyyyyy?"
You weakly slap at the water as a fish swims by.
"Fuck offffffff."


"There he is!"
You look up wearily, your expression shifting to a satisfied grin as you spot the ship.
They haul you aboard and give you some water.
"Jack? You okay?"
"That's unfortunate. Take small sips."
"I was out there for A DAY. Near the end I was seeing frog people! I STILL AM!"
Stubb turns toward where you were looking. Crimson morphs back into her little girl form before he notices.
"Where are we, anyway?"
"Dunno. Sextant got washed overboard."
You curse violently.
"Damn! Treacherous seas! Better to die in the hands of Navy dogs than to perish out here!"
"I'm insane, shut up! Anyway, all we can do is sail west. So we sail west! How're the engines working?"
"One is inoperable." the Imp mechanic chimes in. "Other just needs to get the seawater pumped out."
"Arrrrrr, then get thy machines sorted out! As for I, I believe the two lyin' bastards of the sea owe me an explanation! Carry me to my quarters!"
"Do it yourself."


"Do it yourself, meeeeeh." you mimic, kicking at the floor.

>[]Demand an explanation for the over-the-top levels of shit in this storm.
>[]Look for sunburn cream. You'll probably need to take a bath in it.
>[]Sleep for a long time.
>Sleep for a long time
>Dream if a big family with Helena and Vaux
>[]Sleep for a long time.
And thats how we gota tan
>>[]Look for sunburn cream. You'll probably need to take a bath in it.
>>[]Sleep for a long time
You simply fall flat onto your bed and drift off to sleep.


What seems like a wave of thousands of children knocks you onto your back.
"Ahahaha! Oh, you little leeches!"
"Kiiiiids! I made cookies!"
You're promptly forgotten as the tide swarms to the house. Helena sits down next to you and puts your head in her lap.
"How are you doing, Jack?"
You smile up at her.
"Swimmingly. The hive mind isn't that hard to handle once you get used to them."
"So you've said."
You sit there for a while, just enjoying the sunshine.
"Hm... look at all the dust over there."
Sure enough, there was a big brown cloud hovering in the sky.
"...oh, you have to be fucking kidding me."
An entire legion of Death Pauldrons marches toward your modest house on a hill, armed with all sorts of shooty and stabby things.
Your children burst out of the house, wearing red bandannas and carrying assault rifles.
Helena laughs as they run off to slaughter their enemies.
"Oh, they're so innocent."
You stare blankly at the battle.
"This is fucked up." you say to no one in particular.


You jolt awake before recoiling in pain. Mother FUCKING sunburns!
"I see you're awake." Tsuyoi comments, reading a book.

>[]Just help me... please.
>[]Are we there yet...
>[]Tsuyoi, why are our family's dreams so fucked up?
>[]Help... Please...
[]Tsuyoi, why are our family's dreams so fucked up?
>>[]Just help me... please
>>[]Tsuyoi, why are our family's dreams so fucked up?
Tsuyoi starts rubbing some lotion on your reddened skin. She calls someone in.
"Ah. Welcome back, nephew."
You look up. Rorogan enters the room and starts looking you over.
"I suspect you're thirsty."
"Hm. You think?"
He hands you a glass of water, which you drain gratefully.
"Aside from hunger, thirst, sunburn, and related issues, you should be fine." he says.
"I'm also insane, don't forget."
"Self-diagnosis is a bad practice, Jack."
You sigh.
"Do either of you know why our family has such terrible dreams? I mean, sure, the horde of children with guns was weird, but it crossed right over into fucked up territory when they started suicide-bombing the Death Pauldrons while Helena laughed with joy--"
"I'm sorry, what?"
You explain what happened. Rorogan seems to find this unnerving.
"It's that damned dark entity again..."
"You mean Demon?"
He nods.
"Father refuses to divulge details, but I know that he likes taking liberties with our family's dreams when he isn't manipulating others to hinder our activities... in fact, I think that might be why we're on this voyage in the first place. Didn't that Vorona character use a Void creature on you?"
She had... shit.
"It's always his fault. Cammat's kidnapping, several attacks on the Order, the Battle of Bluefield, even the incident which took Krystal's life... investigation has revealed a connection to the Void in each case."
"I KNEW there was a conspiracy against me! But what, am I supposed to drown out here? We don't even have solid evidence that Vorona went this way. And all our troubles have been grandpa's fault so far!"
I shouldn't have said anything. Rorogan thinks to himself as you ramble on in your paranoia.

>[]Can we detect Void? Gimme the spell so I can use it on everything.
>[]Uh, could you bring me up to speed on those events? Kinda spaced out when I was learning our history.
>[]Does anyone have status on the ship? Can she still make it?
>[]Does anyone have status on the ship? Can she still make it?
>[]Can we detect Void? Gimme the spell so I can use it on everything.
Then proceed to determine if our clothes are cursed/possesed.
Rorogan sighs.
He hands you a scroll, which you read. Seems simple enough...
"Detect Void!" you shout, focusing on your discarded shirt.
It practically oozes Void right out of its threads.
"What?" Rorogan mutters in irritation. He looks at your shirt, then back to you.
"If our dream was hijacked, then logically--"
You attempt to rise and cleanse the ship before Tsuyoi shoves you back down.
"Hold still, I'm not finished."


A few minutes later, with your skin slightly less red and wracked with pain, you walk outside.
What remained of the crew was patching the ship up and repairing the broken engine.
"I see you've emerged, Jack."
"Hey, Stubb. Is it going well?"
"I'm afraid not. She's nearly falling apart. Still, there's nothing we can do but press onward."
You nod. He's right. Turning back now would just be sad.
"Well, I'll join the effort when my skin stops trying to incinerate itself."
"Hope its sooner rather than later."
Stubb walks off to command his men.

>[]Call H&V. They're probably worried.
>[]Torment Crimson for giggles.
>[]Timeskip to when your sunburn is gone.
>[]Call H&V. They're probably worried.
>[]Slap Crimson, we're never going to stop! You can't impersonated Mom and get away with it unscathed!
>[]Timeskip until something happens
>>[]Call H&V. They're probably worried.
>>[]Slap Crimson, we're never going to stop! You can't impersonated Mom and get away with it unscathed!
>>[]Timeskip until something happens
You mean grandma?
and seconding
>>[]Timeskip to when your sunburn is gone
And don't slap the little girl
You start to go give Crimson a slap before deciding against it. The retaliation from Tsuyoi had been painful, and your face hadn't been burnt. It would be extra painful if she landed a hit. Besides, Montresor was probably close to slitting your throats and dumping you into the sea.
Instead, you call your two bitches. Might as well give them an update.
"Vaux! Jack's calling!"
You hear scrambling as Vaux hurries to greet you.
"Jack! Are you okay? What happened to your face?"
You smile.
"Just a little sunburn. I'm doing great out here. We went through a storm, but it's nothing serious. Couple scratches."
One of the crew snorts quietly as he bails out the hold.
"How are you?"
Helena grins.
"Been conditioning Vaux some more for when you get back."
"Helena... I'm not really comfortable talking about that."
"You'll both love it. Everything's normal on my end... oh, yeah. Aquila says hi."
She bends down to pick up the cub. He paws at the screen in vain.
"Hey, buddy! Are those little tusks I see?"
"I have to go to the castle, but I'll call you back when I'm done. See you then, Jack."
"Aww. Bye, Helena. Bye, Vaux."

Three days later...

You step backward out of the tentacle's reach as it runs along your face.
"Ewwwwww! Okay, I did it! Twenty seconds!"
Montresor's taking bets as to how long people will let the tentacle rub them. It showed up this morning and hadn't really done anything besides wiggle around.
"Hmph. So you did. Are you up next?" he asks Tsuyoi. "I'm sure you endured worse with your wife."
She looks down at him with disdain.
"I will not validate you by participating in this."
"Well, your loss."
"Just scare the damn thing off and be done with it!" Stubb says. He keeps nervously tapping his pistol.

>[]We've had our fun, just poke it with a splinter or something.
>[]Chop the tip off with your sword.
>[]We have to keep it! We can use it to punish unruly sailors!
>>[]We've had our fun, just poke it with a splinter or something
>>[]We have to keep it! We can use it to punish unruly sailors!
Or stowaways.
File: IMG_1863.jpg (104 KB, 355x640)
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Several people nod assent. Someone picks up a splintered board and pokes the tentacle.
It wraps around the board before retreating to the depths. At least that went well.
"Is the engine done yeeeeeeeeeeet?" you ask.
"Do you want to do it yourself!?" the engineer asks.
"I thought not!"
You sigh and sit on a coil of rope. This sucks.
"Truly, this is a marvelous gift, yes!"
You whirl to face the new voice. A slimy, bulbous creature had risen from the ocean, happily waving the splintered board about.
"Please, allow me to thank my benefactors!"
It's head bobs slightly.

>[]Guys, do you see that? I might be hallucinating again.
>[]Y-you're welcome.
>>[]Y-you're welcome.
>>[]Guys, do you see that? I might be hallucinating again.
Sounds right.
"Y-you're welcome." you mutter uncertainly. You turn and whisper to the rest of the crew.
"Do you guys see this, too?"
They don't answer, mainly because they're staring at the giant creature. It's safe to say that you aren't hallucinating, unless you happen to be projecting it over an actual monster.
"Well, of course they do, cousin!"
You flinch. "Cousin?"
"Yes! I am Polypus, son of Cairil, goddess of the sea! If I'm not mistaken, that crown of blue hair makes you Alagos's child, doesn't it?"
"Uh... grandchild, yeah."
"Interesting chap. His 'pocket-cereal' is a substance unlike any I've encountered."
You look up at Polypus. "How did you... y'know... come to be?"
"Ah. Like many of the gods' stories, it is a long and erotic one. Suffice it to say my mother was a little too enamored with one of her creations. And thus, I was born. But enough about myself, what are you doing out here? And with such a bounty of high-quality splintered wood?"
Stubb snaps out of his stupor.
"We were hit by a storm a few days ago. We're on our way to the Unknown Lands."
"Ah, the Red Lands! Truly remarkable place. I tried to take a tour, but it was much too hot. And these purple creatures kept poking me with spears. There's one of them now!"
Tsuyoi glares at him.
"I remember you!"
"Pardon me?"
"You crushed six of our huts!"
"Well, I'm not sure what your leadership expected after hurling rocks and sharp things at me."

>[]Can you help us?
>[]That would be a pretty bad welcome, Tsuyoi.
>[]You could've gone around their village.
I'm sure that bygones are bygones, what brings you to this poor wreck of a ship?
Did we drift into your domain.. er front yard as it were?
"Not quite. I simply went on my morning swim when I encountered your vessel.
I was not sure if it was occupied, so I sent up a feeler. By the way, it is quite rude to hold objects to me before yanking them away."
Polypus pauses to wave his tentacles about, presumably for dramatic effect or something.
"Of course, when you have me this delightful present, I just knew I would have to thank you."
"Well. You've certainly given us something to talk about."
"I should think so! Common bass?"
"Common bass. Do you want some?"
He holds up a fish.
"Uh... no thanks."
"Suit yourself."

>[]Can you help us repair our ship? Or push it along, something like that?
>[]This is the part where you're supposed to give us some magic boon or item, right?
>[]Well, we'll be seeing you.
>[]Can you help us repair our ship? Or push it along, something like that?
"Well... no."
You give your relative a look of disapproval.
"I can, however, direct you to my brother's abode. If he cannot repair your ship, than I shall be sorely disappointed in him."
"Oh. Well, where is he?"
"Quite near. One must only dive down for several hundred meters. Fortunately, his home has air to breathe. You won't need to grow gills."
"...he's not an octopus?"
"No, he is not an octopus. He is Sylph, like you."
You scratch your chin. "It's the getting down there that's the hard part. Well, I don't see an alternative. Any ideas?"
"I should be able to sustain a bubble long enough..." Rorogan says, doing some mental math. "Of course, if any more than that go at once, some bubbles could give out before you make it. And I would have to rest in between trips."

>[]I'll go by myself. It's just some guy.
>[]I won't stop anyone from coming if they want to.
>[]Let's bring the two thieves along. Maybe they can steal this guy's shit.
>[]I'll go by myself. It's just some guy.
>[]I won't stop anyone from coming if they want to.
"I'll go, but I won't stop anyone else from coming."
Everyone looks around.
"Stay safe down there, Jack."
Yeah, no one's coming. Pricks.
"Well, lower me down, uncle. Don't drop me or anything."
"As if."
You jump into the sea and find yourself encased in a magic bubble. Polypus descends.
"Follow me."
You do so. He leads you through a trench, occasionally giving some creatures hugs until they leave.
"Ah, here it is!"
He bangs on a metal door in the trench wall.
"Insanus, old boy!"
Oh, that's a great name.
Some sort of speaker crackles to life.
"What is it this time?"
"I have a friend who needs his ship repaired. Could you help him?"
"...send him inside."
The door opens. Polypus beams (well, you think he is) at you.
"Insanus is a genius! If anyone can fix your ship, it's him!"
"Mm-hm. Well, I'll be seeing you."
You step into the room. The door closes, and water starts draining.
"Ahh, you have one of these devices, I see."
Insanus is contacting you by codec. You can't really make out his face.
"Before I let you go further, we must discuss my payment. You can't seriously expect me to go topside for free."

>[]It's a favor to a relative.
>[]I have some Wisps around here...
>[]Name your price. Let's just get this over with.
>Lets negotiate.
>Nice airlock btw.
"Thank you. It took many--"
Insanus pauses.
"I know what you're trying to do. It won't work!"
You roll your eyes and put a hand out for balance. You still haven't got your land legs back. "Yeah, whatever. Negotiations?"
"Right. Well you see, my forge has had some unwanted tenants move in... some of the drowned. If you need your ship repaired, I'm going to have to go inside, preferably when it's been cleaned out. Put your hand out, please."
You do as he asks, somewhat confused. A needle shoots out of the wall, takes some blood, and retreats.
"Yes, you definitely have the blood of a god in those veins... anyway, after that I'm gonna need you to get some machinery up and running. And then after THAT, I'm gonna need some medicine if I'm gonna be getting back to work. Then there's transportation of materials to the surface, but that should only need a quick manual reset. If you get a couple other things done, I'll throw in some extra goodies. What I mentioned is the bare minimum for fixin' your wooden hunk of junk."
Insanus knocks something over on his end of the codec before cursing.
"Sorry about that. Anyway, do we have a deal?"
"I have to do all that? What have you been doing?"
"Well, after I got cut off from my medicine, my leg's been acting up. Couldn't even get to where I have to be, much less fix it. And security's just plumb shorted out."
So... to recap, this guy wants you to clear out some drowned revenants, get some machines working, find this guy his medicine, and then transport some stuff to the surface.
Well, this underwater base can't be too big.

>[]Fine. Let me in.
>[]I'm kinda on the fence. Maybe you could throw something extra in to persuade me?
>[]No, absolutely not. I refuse to do any more fetch quests, let me out.
Can I retrieve some of my companions first?
"They may come down themselves if they wish. I won't let you leave until you've given me an answer."
You've got a feeling he'll only accept one answer...
"Let me change channels real quick. Rorogan, does anyone up there want to come down? I'll be doing some maintenance work and I could use assistance."
He's about to say something before Montresor interrupts.
"I'll do it."
"MontreSOR! He slapped me! Twice!"
"And if we help him, he might apologize, Crimson."
"...these two, I guess."


A few minutes later, the two thieves have safely joined you. Due to the airlock, you kinda had to go inside... the hall splits off into three different branches.
"Left's my living area, middle's the forge, and right leads to the surface. Get a move on."
Insanus cuts off the call.
"Which way first, Jack?" Montresor asks. He's been suspiciously cheerful since he got here.
Crimson changes back to her adult form. Probably so you have more trouble slapping her.
"Don't make me go with him, I swear to Dae..."

>[]Splitting up is a bad idea. Off to the left/middle/right!
>[]Follow me if you want. I'm going left/forward/right.
>[]Let's split up!
Also describe our mission meanwhile
Forgot to paste
>[]Splitting up is a bad idea. Off to the left/middle/right!
You're supposed to pick one...
(So go left first, middle next split, right third)
You head to the left. Living quarters can't be all that bad.
And indeed, it's a short walk down the hall to what looks like a small living area. There's a bed, desk, and some slightly suspicious literature.
"Where did all this weird stuff come from?" Crimson asks.
"Probably one of the several ancient advanced civilizations knocking about before the dawn of history." Montresor responds.
You grab a bottle of pills off the dresser.
"Insanus, is this it?"
"...yeah. How'd you get it so quickly? Security should be goin' haywire down there."
"We just kinda walked--"
Metal plating slides over the door. Alarms start blaring and turrets lower themselves from the ceiling.
Crimson turns into a ladybug and flies away to hide somewhere. Montresor turns invisible. All the turrets lock onto you.

Roll 1d20.
Rolled 10 (1d20)

Rolled 11 (1d20)

Rolled 15 (1d20)

Zapmagic the turrrts, maybe theyll go haywire and shoot each other
You run around the room as fast as you can, flipping furniture over, throwing objects around, and zapping the turrets with lightning. The only way this could be more chaotic is if someone started a food fight in here.
"Can I hack this..?" you wonder while glancing at a turret's workings. Instead of wires or anything logical it's got a tangled web of pipes.
"Well, fuck that."
A nearby vent cover comes off on its own. You can hear sound of exertion as Montresor invisibly climbs inside.
Well, any port in a storm. You dive in after him.
After a short time, Crimson materializes behind you as a snake.
"Montresor, do you see a way out?"
"I'd tell you if I did, now hush! Something might hear us in here."
You keep going and try not to be nervous about Crimson. A slap isn't worth getting your ass bit. And she might be poisonous.
Eventually, the three of you make it to some kind of hub. The room's pretty big, enough for the three of you to stand.
"Well... which way?"
You frown and study the vents. There's about six different paths...
"Does anyone else hear that?" Crimson asks, changing back to normal.
Several spider-legged constructs begin crawling out of the vents and targeting you with lasers.
"This wasn't my idea! You have to get out of there! Dammit... I'm sending some friendlies to escort you out, just hold on!"

>[]Crush these things with your sword.
>[]Find somewhere to hide from them.
>[]Menacingly point the sword at them and keep your distance
Zapp them and after that try to make them friendly
>>[]Find somewhere to hide from them.
Behind Crimson
"I'm armed!" you shout, waving your sword at the drones. One of them disinterestedly fires a laser, which singes your hair.
It readjusts it's aim and fires again. You hold up your sword and deflect the beam, which destroys another drone.
"You think that Breath of the Wild shit is gonna work on me?"
Several lasers dance across your body as the drones' machinery charges up.
They open fire. You yelp and run around the room, babbling wildly and smacking drones from their perches.
Crimson falls, peppered by laser blasts. Montresor shields her with his own body.
Flying machines pour out of a vent, shredding the drones to bits with smaller but more numerous lasers.
"You alright? Is anyone hurt?"
You look down at yourself. Dozens of burns dot your clothing and skin. You didn't think you'd need your armor...
"These two need some help. I'm fine... for now. I can't feel about half my body."
"Well, get them out of here. I can probably patch them up."


It took several minutes and a lot of pushing, but you eventually get your companions onto a medical table. Some mechanical arms emerge from the wall to start treating their injuries.
"Hm. They did surprisingly well, considering the firepower they've endured. Anyway, I'm gonna need you to give me that medicine. It'll take me a while to get these godsdamned cramps out of my legs, best not to put it off.
You follow Insanus's directions to his hideout, a heavily-reinforced door with a pneumatic delivery system.
"Ahh... much better." he comments. "AH, GODS--pins and needles."

>[]Uhh, I'm just gonna go complete those other objectives now.
>[]What exactly is wrong with your legs?
>[]How long is that treatment going to take?
>>[]What exactly is wrong with your legs?
You're not a mer person are you?
>[]What exactly is wrong with your legs!
>[]And I'm just gonna go complete those other objectives now.
Insanus grunts.
"Got some swelling in the joints, cuts off circulation and nerves. Taking these helps out... though I'll probably need a health potion as well."
"Huh. Hope you get better, I have a forge to clear out."
"Don't die."


You slide the door open, immediately greeted by a revenant. You chop off his hands, legs, and jaw before slicing him into more manageable pieces. That guy isn't getting up.
...this forge was HUUUUUGE, though. Giant vats, carts of ore, idle machinery. And a bottomless drop beneath these catwalks to boot. You could probably make an entirely new ship down here.
Of course, there's the revenants. Sailors, from the looks of their tattered clothing. Some of them were gonna be a bitch to kill, due to being waterlogged. The tried-and-true method to disposing of these was just burning them.
Oh, well. Gotta get to work.

>[]Insanus, is there a flamethrower or something around here?
>[]Start hacking away. It'll take a long time, but you're gonna have to cut them into small bits.
>[]Herd them onto a section of catwalk and cut it loose. Plenty of stuff to climb on, you'll be fine.
>[]Insanus is there a flamethrower or something around here?
>>[]Insanus, is there a flamethrower or something around here?
"There's a couple devices here and there..."
Insanus seems to consider something before speaking again.
"Best hope you have is something I was working on before these bastards moved in. I've been looking at your genetic code... you have a lot of potential. Of course, all this mixed blood's causing some issues. Your god side and whatever this bit is are being snuffed by your dragon side. Ironically, only way to get them to cooperate is to cause an imbalance. I have something here that could give you an edge, greatly increase your flame magic. 'Course, it might not even work, and you'll have to take a detour. I'll understand if you don't want to try, but it'd be a hell of a lot easier than cutting them things down to size."
Huh. You'd always thought you'd been gypped on mystic power. Your mom and dad have amazing abilities, after all. You just got some scaly limbs and toughness. The kung-fu skills definitely didn't come from either of them, though. That was just destiny.

>[]Sure. Not like I'm in a hurry.
>[]Can you direct me to one of those other things?
>[]I'll just do this the old-fashioned way.
>[]Sure, what can possibly go wrong?
Insanus directs you through the halls and into a small-ish room.
"Alright, I'm gonna need you to get inside that pod. I can operate it remotely."
You hesitate before shrugging and climbing inside a large, cylindrical pod in the center of the room. After sitting down on the provided chair, restraints lock themselves over your wrists and ankles, and the door starts closing.
"Those are for your protection, Jack. Can't have you flailing about... let's see..."
"Uh, this better not turn kinky--"
"It won't, believe me. Now, you're gonna feel a little pinch."
Something stabs into your back. The area is quickly numbed, fortunately. Several other needles stick into several other points on your body.
Fuuuuck, I HATE needles!
You manage not to freak out.
"Alright, now. Adjusting to fifty percent... just hang in there, Jack. It'll be over soon."
"What do you--AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
What feels like liquid fire starts pumping through your veins. Insanus shouts something over the codec, but you can't make out the words.
It proves to be too much, and you pass out.


"I suppose now is as good a time as any."
Your vision clears. Something has suspended you in a black landscape, with no discerning features. A man with dark hair stands before you. Must be Demon.
"I do find it entertaining to listen to your family's banter when I bring them here. So indignant, as if they could actually leave if they wanted to. Well, I suppose your grandfather could, but he's a special case."
Demon looks you over and frowns.
"Hmm. While you serve your purpose, I don't really see anything particularly unique about you. Blue hair, scales, temperamental nature, it's all been seen so many times. And Jack, you have to admit that's not really an uncommon name! Who was your mother thinking of at the time? Jackie Chan? Jack the Ripper? Well, I suppose it doesn't matter."
He sighs.
"Of course, we have to get to the boring part of this whole business. You get your turn to shout at me or ask some dull question. Let's get it over with."

What do you say to this guy?
Who are you, what happened, what are you talking about
Demon sighs.
"I suppose your grandfather forgot to tell you? A summary, then."
He takes a breath. You immediately regret asking him about his history.
"A long time ago, I had managed to acquire godlike powers via dubious means. I aimed to use these to destroy all realities--you DO know that there are multiple realities, yes?"
"I'm offended by that statement."
"Anyway, I wished to destroy everything. A perfectly justifiable goal, once you look over the facts. There were several who objected to this, unsurprisingly. That was to be expected. What WASN'T expected was that they would actually foil my intricate plans."
"Uh, you do know that simple plans are usually better? If just one thing goes wrong in a complicated web then--"
"Shut up! Anyway, your grandfather, Krystal, and several others ruined everything and vanished me to this GODSFORSAKEN FUCKING PIT! In case you haven't realized, this is the Void. An abyss that lies between worlds. Can you imagine being stuck down here for ten thousand years, with only other ancient banished evils to keep you company?"
Demon steps back and calms himself.
"That's why I whisper into the heads of your enemies and give your family terrible dreams. Of course, your ACTUAL grandfather wasn't the one who vanquished me. It was him, but in a different timeline, so to speak. Quantum physics, I'm sure you're too ignorant to understand the mechanics. Any more questions?"

>[]Try bettering society for once, you fuck.
>[]Try me. How does the multiple universes thing work?
>[]Is it possible to kill you? I'd rather my kids not have to deal with this shit.
>[]Try bettering society for once, you fuck.
>[]Can I convince you not to continue your evil shit? I'd rather my kids not have to deal with this shit.
Demon frowns.
"My 'evil shit' is the only thing left to me. So no, I won't give it up. This is what should have been expected when I was banished here. Now your family has to deal with the consequences."
He snaps his fingers, and you wake up on the floor of Insanus's lab.
"Jack? Do you read, are you okay?"
You groan and get to your feet. Everything hurts.
"Feels like my veins are gonna pop..."
"Excellent. It's working."
"Oh, is it? Yeah, I feel so much better now."
"Well, go test your powers out on some revenants. It'll help you recover."
You stumble back to the forge door and open it carefully. The revenants turn and start shuffling toward you.
"Alright, let's see..."
You hold out your hand, which is glowing underneath the scales. Fire flares up from your arm, nearly burning your face off.
"Okay, just gotta focus."
The burst of flame is redirected toward the nearest revenant, which starts screeching as it catches fire.
Okay... again!
You catch the flame before it goes into your face and send it toward your enemies.
A white-hot gout of fire washes over the catwalk in front of you, incinerating everything not metal.
The revenants are just ashes now.
"Nicely done. Now, I'll need you to get the forge running. Should be some fuel in there, but you'll have to find the bellows and starter. Should be downstairs."

>[]Alright, then.
>[]Maybe I should go back to check on my friends.
>[]I'll just lean in and use my own fire to light it.
>[]Tell him about Demon and if he knows if we can do anything about it
>[]Alright then.
While looking for the forge bellows, you tell Insanus about your dream.
"...uh, I think you might've just had a bad dream there. Even if you didn't, I wouldn't know anything about keepin' guys like that off of you."
"Hm. Shame."
This looks important... you put your weight into turning a valve. This thing's rusted.
"Definitely wouldn't be surprising if someone like that existed. Lots'a bad decisions have been made over the ages."
You flick a few switches before studying the bellows.
"That's true enough."
Ah. Here it is.
You pull a lever. The forge fuel catches, sending a pillar of flame toward the ceiling. Good thing you didn't try to lean in.
The ore carts dump their loads and continue down their tracks.
"Good job. Sent a probe up to look at your ship. Biggest repair's gonna have to be replacin' the prow, but that should only take a few hours. First thing first, we gotta get that transportation online."
You head back through the halls.

>[]Hey, how'd you end up down here? All alone under the ocean, only talking to giant octopuses.
>[]I know you're a demigod, but who was your god parent?
>[]Stay silent. You have work to do.
>[]First two in that order
>>[]Hey, how'd you end up down here? All alone under the ocean, only talking to giant octopuses.
>[]I know you're a demigod, but who was your god parent?
"Well... I suppose I'll have to answer your second question before the first."
Insanus sighs.
"My mother was Cairil, thus why Polypus likes coming around to talk with me now and then. My father was Makina. God of machines, industry, the like. When I was born I didn't get the full god treatment... made me a misfit. Can't stay up there, too awkward to live among mortals. So I traveled the planet, eventually decided to stay here. Could be worse places. In the future someone might find a useful invention or two."
"Wow. That's..."
"Pretty terrible, isn't it. Beats getting snobbed at by my aunts and uncles. Who knows? Might even meet someone special, somehow. Life's funny that way. You've reached the transport hub. Lockdown's been engaged... you'll have to shut it off. Try the control booth."
You look around the room. Several submarines, cranes, other things... a large blast door leads to the forge.
"Alright, control booth... dammit, it's locked."
You pound on the door before frowning.
"Okay, there's gotta be a better way in than breaking the door down."

>[]Smash a window, you don't have time for this garbage.
>[]Just take a pin and juggle here, right..? (D20)
>[]Look for a key.
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>[] Just take a pin and juggle here, right..?
You insert a metal pin into the lock. IMMEDIATELY, an alarm starts blaring.
"Jack, you didn't try to pick the lock, did you?"
A flying drone descends from a port in the ceiling and starts heading your way.
You run screaming down the hallway as multiple lasers start burning you.
"Hold on, Jack! And... there!"
The drone falls to the ground, making a sad whirring noise.
"Insanus, this whole security not thing is fucked."
"Well, honestly! Would you go nuts if a little saltwater got in you!? These damned things are so finicky. And you did try to pick the lock."
"Well, unless you have advice, could you leave me to my pained existence?"
"I left a spare key underneath that rock over there."
"Oh, good to know."
This fucking...
You pick up the key and head inside.
"I'm disengaging the lockdown... you got the repairs ready?"
"All set. Just need to get them up there. You did good, Jack... would you mind helping me out with some more maintenance? I'd rather this not happen again. Thought I'd die down here."

>[]Sure, happy to help. As long as there aren't things wanting me dead.
>[]I'm getting rewards for this, right?
>[]Nope, I am getting out of here ASAP.
>>[]Sure, happy to help. As long as there aren't things wanting me dead
>>[]Sure, happy to help. As long as there aren't things wanting me dead.
Or shooting me in the ass.
(Gonna be gone for about ten hours, don't panic if I'm not here)
"This'll actually help you out with that last bit. A leak's been sprung near some wiring, completely fucked up the whole system. I'll need you to patch it and replace the corroded wires."
Sounds simple enough.
"Head to an airlock, there should be some pressure suits. Might be ill-fitting. Some sea creatures outside, but you should easily be able to bat them away, assuming Polypus doesn't scare 'em off."
You follow the signs to the nearest airlock, put on a pressure suit (which was a little too big for you) and start cycling the water in.
Oooooh boy. You hope you put this thing on right.
Fortunately, no water leaks in as the airlock fills up. The door opens, and you step outside...

Roll 1d20.
Rolled 4 (1d20)

You awkwardly stride forward in the heavy suit, looking out for any fish that might want a bite of you.
You wildly swing a heavy bolt gun at te fish who had just smashed into your helmet's faceplate.
"No no no no no aw shit."
The fucking thing cracked your helmet.
You take some adhesive and dab it over the crack. Should help.
You impale the next suicide fish with a bolt. Seriously, why are they swimming at you like--oh. They have pointy noses. Great.
Another whips right past you. You lose your balance and tumble down a coral bed. Fortunately, nothing broke.
"Okay, where... aha!"
You run/waddle over to a pipe in the ground. Looks like one of those fucking fish broke a hole in the pipe. a quick welding job later, and it's nice and sealed. For good measure, you pile some loose rocks on top of it.
"Nicely done! Now get back in here, I'm crawlin' up to fix the wires."
"Oh, your legs are working?"
"Well, it'll do for this job. 'Sides, I'm not sure I could properly relay good instructions over the codec. Fortunately, the pumps in here are good."
You shrug and start climbing the slope. His problem if he wants to crawl around in there.
Only a few more of those damn fish try to kill you, but you crush them with your heavy equipment.
You sigh as you strip off the suit in the airlock.

>[]Go check on your companions. The medical thingies should be done by now.
>[]See if Insanus left his door unlocked.
>[]Look around for some food. This whole ordeal's made you hungry.
>>[]Go check on your companions. The medical thingies should be done by now.
>[]See if Insanus left his door unlocked.
>[]Look around for some food. This whole ordeal's made you hungry
You head back to the medical lab. Montresor and Crimson sit in chairs, sipping water.
"Oh. Hello, Jack." Montresor says.
"Thanks for dragging us here... Montresor apparently had back problems, and this machine fixed them up! He's never been so cheerful!"
Montresor frowns.
"You look terrible. Want to have a try on this?"
"Nah. I have to go check on Insanus. You can look around for some food, though."
"I suppose that's a good idea. My legs need stretching, anyway."
You head to your (cousin's? Uncle's?) relative's quarters.
The door is open. Inside is a bed, some meager supplies, medicine, a wheelchair, and some sort of interface. He must've used it to control friendly machines.

>[]Look for the entrance to that pipe. Might as well give him a hand.
>[]Surely there's something in here you can steal...
>[]See how the thieves are getting on with finding food.
>[]Look for the entrance to that pipe. Might as well give him a hand.
>>[]Look for the entrance to that pipe. Might as well give him a hand.
Let's see...
Some searching is required, but you find a trail of tools and stepladders. It gets really sketchy as you crawl through the actual pipe. It's wet, cramped, the air is thin, and you can't see for shit.
"Ow! What--"
Someone kicks at your head.
"Hey! It's me!"
"Yeah, I'm here to help you fix the wires!"
"Ah. Hold on, let me get a light."
A white cube flares to life, allowing you to get your first good look at Insanus.
He's in his late forties at your best guess. His clothing is heavy duty, but worn. Some sort of night vision apparatus is around his eyes, and he's currently busy splicing wires together.
"Dropped the solderin' iron back there a ways. Can you get it for me?"
You awkwardly maneuver to grab the tool and pass it up.
"Thanks, lad."
Sparks fly as Insanus fuses the wires together.
"Aaaaaand that should do it. Now where--"
He pats at his pockets.
"Ah, damn. You see that bottle anywhere?"
"Uhhhhhhh yeah. Here you go."
"Oh! Much obliged."
He swallows two pills and chuckles.
"Ah, that's it. Okay, now just back up..."


You frown at your clothing. It's gotten all greasy and dirty from your trip into the pipe.
"Get used to it. Happens a lot in my profession."
"It's usually blood for me."
"Well, it'll be a nice change of pace for you."
Insanus pats you on the shoulder.
"Well, let's get going. I need to meet your friends, after all."
You just sort of stand to the side and eat what food the thieves scavenged while they talk with Insanus.
"Alright, up to the surface! Gods, I could use a trip topside. No idea how long I've even been down here."
You set off for the transport system.

>[]What repairs are we making?
>[]How's life as a demigod? Mom said it's possibly the weirdest childhood ever, but I dunno...
>[]Crimson, I'm sorry for slapping you. Want to get dinner sometime? (You can just say this to piss her and her brother off if you want)
>>[]What repairs are we making?
>[]How's life as a demigod? Mom said it's possibly the weirdest childhood ever, but I dunno..
Supporting and go for another slap but lighter this time
no dont slap her
Supporting also.
"We're gonna be replacin' your prow, fixing the broken engine, and plugging all the holes in the hull. Should only take an hour at most."
That didn't sound like a job that could be done in an hour, but okay.
"Life as a demigod... who is your mother?"
"Aisha, she's Alagos's daughter.
"Aaaaaaah. Makes sense. I've heard things about him, so I doubt my childhood was a strange as hers. It was quite strange, though. Machine and ocean gods don't get together often, so my parents were in and out. They didn't get along too well, but I was taken care of. I moved out when I was around... fifteen? They weren't exactly pleadin' for me to stay, but they probably weren't overjoyed, either."
Insanus sighs.
"Gods tend to get like that. Too many of their children die or leave to keep on caring."
You enter a submarine. Insanus starts operating the machinery, loading materials onto other vehicles.
"This'll take a bit, so get comfy."

>[]Tell Insanus about your batshit-crazy grandpa.
>[]Sooooooo, how are the two of you doing? What's your story?
>[]I'm taking a fucking nap. I feel like crap.
>[]Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, how are the two of you doing? What's your story?

>Then take a nap
>>[]Sooooooo, how are the two of you doing? What's your story?
"Well--" Crimson starts. Her brother cuts her off.
"It's none of your business."
"MontreSOR, if he wants to ask he can ask!"
"Why do you care?"
"Well, he isn't slapping me, and I'll take what I can get! Anyway, Jack, we were born in a crime family, originally."
You blink.
"Uh. Okay."
"Yep! Our older sister is doing well, but Dad had to estrange my brother because he was caught by the Guard."
"And because I'm such a good sister, I followed him into exile. Now we just kind of steal things."
Huh. That's different than what you were expecting. That being a sob story about being forced to steal to survive and whatnot.
"Is shapeshifting common in your family?"
"Nope! It's just a weird magical quirk. Montresor can use any magic that's used on him, I can look like anything I've seen, and our sister can read minds to blackmail people!"
"Ah. Well, I think I'll watch the silverware whenever your family's around."
"We don't plan on remaining in close contact with you." Montresor growls.
"Of course. If I reported you, I might have to see you again in court, so I won't."
Insanus grunts as the submarine surfaces.
"We're here. Just a few minutes now."


"Wow." you say, looking the ship over. The new prow is made of steel, and could probably ram straight through most other ships it's size. Insanus had also added two lasers to the front for shits and giggles.
"Finest ship there is! Well, at least until I put the finishing touches on my latest project. But it'll carry you to the Red Lands, short of a disaster."
"Oh, don't doubt it."
"Eh. Life's funny that way. Well, I should leave you to it."
Insanus climbs down from the ship and starts opening the submarine's hatch.

>[]You're not coming?
>[]Will you be okay down there?
>[]...well, see you, Uncle.
>[]Will you be okay down there?
We should ask hin where we are and if he can spare some navigation equipment as well, we lost our sextant
"Should be. Have been for nigh on thirty years now."
Insanus starts climbing down the hatch.
"Lots of luck to you, laddie!"
You wave goodbye as he closes the hatch.
"...oh, almost forgot."
Insanus opens the hatch and tosses you something.
"Thanks for helping me with those wires."
He gets back in his sub and descends beneath the sea.
It's some kind of syringe... a label on the back describes it as a sort of magic shield. Good to have.

>[]Well, Stubb, let's be off!
>[]Amaze the crew with tales of your adventures.
>[]I am going to go sleep again.
>[]Well, Stubb, let's be off!
>>[]Well, Stubb, let's be off!

[]Amaze the crew with tales of your adventures.
Stubb barks orders at the crew. When your voyage is back underway, everyone gathers around you, Montresor, and Crimson (who has reverted to her little girl form) to ask what happened.
"Ah, well you see--" you begin. "--I was led by that colossal creature deep beneath the sea. I was confronted by a door, which led to a chamber of some arcane make--"


"...and now I'm here."
The crew stares in amazement. Montresor had only corrected your most blatant of exaggerations (like the part where you fended off Ruin himself), so it was a good story.
"Hmm. I wonder how all that technology works." Rorogan ponders.
"It may be best that we leave such places and objects alone." Tsuyoi replies. "But I'm sure Jack is tired. We can bother him after he's had rest and healing."

>[]I can keep going.
>[]Well, if you INSIST.
>[]Okay bye.
>[]Okay bye.
>>[]Okay bye
You head back to your cabin. There's a few laser burns you're going to have to treat in order to get to sleep.
"Okay, let's see."
You examine your stash of health potions. Drinking too many of these would lead to some pretty fucked-up results. You knew a few guys who had grown an extra set of arms after overdosing. They were painful to grow and painful to get rid of.
"About a quarter of a bottle should do it." you say to yourself, twisting the cap off and chugging the amount.
Your burns disappear, leaving no sign they had been there except for some small red patches on your skin.
"Muuuuuuch better."
You climb into bed, create a nice cooling breeze to circulate through your room, and go to sleep.


You fall out of bed in panic before picking up the call.
"I got swallowed by a giant fish and he won't spit me out."
"I was joking, Mom. I'm fine."
"Huh? Oh."
She takes a deep breath and smiles at you.
"I was just joking too, sweetie."
"Well, why don't you tell me what you've been up to? I'm sure you've had a few adventures by now."

>[]Dad screwed us over by refusing to move his precious fucking storm just a little. Then I had to fix a million things for my uncle.
>[]I met a giant octopus who has a fetish for driftwood or something..?
>[]Nothing happened, I'm perfectly fine, stop biting your nails.
>[]Dad screwed us over by refusing to move his precious fucking storm just a little. Then I had to fix a million things for my uncle.
(Meant 'grandpa'. Whatever)
"What? Daaad! Stop putting my son in danger!"
"I'm just putting some hair on the boy's chest!"
You raise an eyebrow.
"He's visiting?"
"Yep. Probably just to play with Luna."
"Awwww, who's a good doggie? Yes you are! Yes you--hey, that's my pinky! I need that!"
"...it could be worse."
You nod in assent.
"Oh, you mentioned an uncle?"
"Yeah, Insanus. Son of... ocean goddess, machine god. That guy. You probably don't know him, he lives out in the middle of the ocean."
"Oh, I should visit!"
"Please don't. It's not worth it."
"If you say so. Oh, your little friends are doing fine! They've been out buying underwear and some other things from Ash's gift shop."
Huh. Ash only sold fetish stuff at her 'gift shop'.
"Did you see what they got?"
Well, it better not be anything super fucked up.
"They miss you so much, though. Really, they're both good girls."
"Aww. Thanks, Mom."
"You're welcome. What are you doing now?"

>[]I'm gonna get to work.
>[]I'm gonna eat a dozen scones. I'm REALLY hungry.
>[]Nothing much. You wanna talk?
>[]I'm gonna eat a dozen scones then I'm gonna work
I hope dad isn't there, he doest know we took the scone right?
"Oh, he suspected. Now that you're out at sea, it doesn't really matter. Besides, we still have some."
Good to know.
"Well, I better get going."
"Happy sailing! Oh, pick up some presents for meeee!"
You hang up and head out to eat your meal.


"What!? Shouldn't be for--"
You run to the side of the ship and peer into the distance.
"Oh. Just an island."
"And a damned beautiful one, too!" Stubb exclaims.
"We can get some fruit to supplement this tasteless crap."
You nod gravely. Those scones were starting to stick in your throat.
An hour later, you step ashore, wobbling a little as you regain your land legs. A blue humanoid figure watches curiously from behind some bushes, but runs off when you approach.

>[]Follow it. It could be a new sentient species!
>[]Help look for fruit. (D20)
>[]Get a base camp set up. There could be some dangerous shit on this island.
>Waifu spotted
>[]Follow it. It could be a new sentient species!
"Hold on. Thought I saw something."
You head out into the jungle.
"We'll send a search party if you aren't back by noon tomorrow." Stubb says absentmindedly.
The trail left by the whatever it was is kind of hard to follow, but you don't get lost too many times. Eventually, you emerge into a clearing.
A refreshing-looking waterfall pours into a lake. Several trees nearby are heavy with fruit.
...there you are.
Some bushes shudder slightly as something peeks through them. You keep them in your peripheral vision while deciding what to do.

>[]Use translation spell and call out. I just want to talk!
>[]Slice up a fruit, sit down on a rock with your back to the bushes, and leave part of it beside you.
>[]Approach slowly, with your hands up. It might have a spear.
>Use translation spell, take a fruit and sit down. Mutter something along the lines "I hope these arent poisonous" and "what a nice place this is".
You use the spell, pick a fruit, slice it up, and sit down.
"This sure is a nice place. If only I had someone to share it with."
You stare suspiciously at your slice of fruit before shrugging.
"Hope it isn't poisoned. Ah, well. Bottoms up."
You pop it in your mouth and begin chewing. Either this thing was a sadist or the fruit was good.
Oh, shit. Maybe neither. It might be completely dependent on this thing's biology. So this stuff wasn't poisonous for it but it was for you--
A flurry of movement catches your eye. A smooth, blue, three-fingered hand snatches the slice of fruit you'd left for it.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit play it cool play it cool.
You keep yourself fixed in place, setting another slice of fruit down next to you. The hand returns, moving more slowly this time. You catch a glimpse of a greenish pattern on the skin.
The pattern continues, with you placing slices of fruit down and commenting on how delicious it was. Eventually, you get to the last slice of fruit.
The hand slowly pushes it back toward you. At least it's polite. You draw your knife, cut the piece in half, and slide one of the halves back.
The hand takes it. You finish up your treat and swallow nervously.
"I'm gonna turn around now... don't freak out."
You slowly turn around on the rock you've been using as a seat...
A blue-and-green patterned creature stands before you. It's humanoid, clearly female, and naked save for a cloth around its waist. Looks like some sort of subspecies of Salamander, as her skin possesses the same scaly qualities.
"Hi. I'm Jack."
The female shrinks back a little. Must be shy.
"I'm not gonna hurt you... you can come closer."
She edges forward, one hand kept on a knife in her belt.

>[]Do you have a name?
>[]I am a servant of the god of storms. Do you know who that is?
>[]I have some food here. It's not fruit, but...
Ho fuk
Another Vaux
>[]Do you have a name?
>[]I have some food here. It's not fruit, but...
>>[]Do you have a name?
>[]I am a servant of the god of storms. Do you know who that is?
>[]I have some food here. It's not fruit, but...
She nods hesitantly.
"My name is Kāpili..."
"That's a nice name. Want a scone?"
You hold one out. Kāpili gingerly takes it, sniffs it, and nibbles some before spitting it out.
"Ah. Does it taste bad?"
"Dry... too sweet."
"You get used to it."
She sits on a rock across from you.
"Who are you... Jack? How did you float here?"
"I'm an explorer. Me and some others built a ship to get to the Red Lands,"
She looks up in recognition.
"I've heard stories. Sand, heat, much battle. Why would you go there?"
"I'm following someone."
Kāpili shrugs.
"Everyone follows something."
She frowns and scrutinizes you.
"Pale. Sharp ears. Too many fingers. Confined in too much cloth."
Ah. Your clothes were kind of stuffy in this climate, now that you think about it.
"It's colder where I'm from. You'd freeze to death. And, uh... people would be staring."
"Yes. I suppose I would be strange to your people as well." she says.
"I meant your breasts, but whatever."
"Breasts? Why should they stare? Women have them. Well, most do. Some are flat."

>[]Change the subject.
>[]Well, its kind of a social taboo with hundreds of years of weird thinking behind it...
>[]No reason. Can I touch them?
>[]No reason. Can I touch them?
>[]Are there more of you?
>>[]Well, its kind of a social taboo with hundreds of years of weird thinking behind it...
"I-if you really wish to..."
You sit down next to her and hesitantly put a hand on Kāpili's chest. She flinches and blushes furiously as you dig your hand into her soft flesh.
Wait, what the hell am I doing?
You withdraw your hand and head back to your rock.
"Sorry... shit. I just get carried away and--"
"It's fine. I don't mind that much."
You both sit in silence for a while.
"So... are there any more of you?"
"About... three thousands, I think? We don't venture to this side often."
She rubs her legs together, clearly agitated from earlier.
"Let me touch you."
"You touched me, I should touch you. Besides, your garment must be hot..."
Well, your shirt WAS kinda stuffy.
"...okay, sure."
You remove your shirt, feeling somewhat uncomfortable as Kāpili looks over your muscles. The feeling only increases as she starts rubbing your abs.
What the fuck aaaaaaaaaaaaa why is this so awkward she's just rubbing my stomach is this cheating Mom better not call right now or I'm gonna be so pissed off.
"It's smooth..."
"Uh, yeah. No scales. Heh."

>[]Please stop.
>[]Kāpili... do you want sex? I don't mind.
>[]I should REALLY be getting back to the ship. You want to come?
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FUCK forgot link

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