>>1824138
Interwar

>>1824138
>The Third Great Ninja War. Konoha had to take on Iwa, Kumo, and Bloody fucking Kiri at the same time. And it won. Thank you Lord Fourth, sadly deceased. Oh, and Suna too, you guess. They were your allies, but you never did much joint operations with them, as they fought on the front against Iwa and Kumo, whereas you were deployed against Kiri. Lucky you. The real climax of the war, for you at least, was when you managed to escape being decapitated by one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. Not because you enjoyed it, but because it was probably your first, though not even close to last, brush with death. To tell the truth, you really managed to cheat the Shinigami with that particular escape. (Hatake Kakashi’s Generation, Relatively Young and 'Lucky' Veteran)

>>1824138
>The Second Great Ninja War. You fought alongside the Legendary Sannin when you were a mere genin. Well, technically you fought behind them, as one of the many shinobi in the units they commanded. And you sincerely doubt that they were aware of your existence. Nonetheless, the ravages of the war gave you ample opportunity to earn experience and kill lots of people. By the war’s end, you were a jounin, and a fine one at that. Good times. You’ve been a veteran ninja for longer than most of your jounin peers, given that there are so few living and active shinobi of your generation. (Sannin’s Generation, Old and Grizzled Veteran

>>1824138
>The Second Great Ninja War. You fought alongside the Legendary Sannin when you were a mere genin. Well, technically you fought behind them, as one of the many shinobi in the units they commanded. And you sincerely doubt that they were aware of your existence. Nonetheless, the ravages of the war gave you ample opportunity to earn experience and kill lots of people. By the war’s end, you were a jounin, and a fine one at that. Good times. You’ve been a veteran ninja for longer than most of your jounin peers, given that there are so few living and active shinobi of your generation. (Sannin’s Generation, Old and Grizzled Veteran)

>>1824181
>>1824201
Alright, since replies are coming in slow we're going with Second Great Ninja War. Writing.

>>1824224
You did a lot of questionable things in that war, but that's simply how it had to be.

Anyway, all this thinking about your youth is coming to mind because the Third Hokage has decided that you need to raise a team of brats and make them into respectable ninja. You’ve managed to avoid this fate so far, mostly through pure luck. However, when the Third noticed that your record of outstanding service did not include having mentored some junior professional killers in the way of the ninja, he ordered you to do so. For the sake of passing on the Will of Fire and all that. You weren’t happy, but you had to comply. He’s the Hokage.

It’s not just that you hate kids, although you do hate kids, and it’s also not just that you think you would be a terrible teacher, though you do think you would be a terrible teacher. Rather, it’s both at the same time. Not to mention the fact that this year’s batch of genin is full of clan heirs, probably spoiled rotten. Come to think of it, you should probably check which particular collection of brats you’ll be watching over.

>Team 7. Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto. You have no idea how you’re going to deal with not one, but two mentally scarred preteens. The last survivor of a murdered clan and Konoha’s resident ostracized jinchuuriki will both be on the team, and apparently they aren’t exactly fond of one another. You’re not exactly the most well-adjusted person either, but you can’t begin to imagine the potentially crippling psychological issues they might have. Oh, and the girl is there too. This team could be a half-decent assault squad if you could bring them together into something cohesive. The jinchuuriki brat has metric fucktons of chakra, the Last Uchiha brat will likely be superb in both nin and genjutsu. The girl can be support or whatever. You hear she has good chakra control, so she should perform well that role. (Replace Hatake Kakashi as Jounin-sensei of Team 7)

>Team 8. Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba. Two clan heirs and the dog-boy, huh? You hope he doesn’t smell too much. The Hyuuga heir apparently has anxiety issues, possibly stemming from some sort of incident in her past that you’re not allowed to know about. The Aburame is cool-headed and bright, however, so he could very well be the team’s greatest asset. This is probably one of the best teams you’ve encountered, taking into account their clans’ abilities. Aburame kikaichu, Hyuuga byakugan and Inuzuka noses all excel at tracking. This team could be forged into a highly effective squad with the right instruction. And the right instructor, who is probably not you. But you’ll have to make do. (Replace Yuuhi Kurenai as Jounin-sensei of Team 8)

Cont.

>>1824224
>>1824228
>Team 10. Akimichi Choji, Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino. The next generation of the Ino-Shika-Cho combination that made their parents famous. From what you hear, the Akimichi and Nara brats mimic their parents exactly, in the sense that the former is a fatass with astounding strength and the latter is a lazy genius. This seems appropriate, given their clan techniques, and not too hard to deal with, as you’ve met both their fathers. Hell, Nara Shikaku is your direct superior as Jounin-Commander of Konoha. The Yamanaka brat is the one you expect the most trouble from. While her father was a gifted ninja psychologist and florist, she seems to take after the latter only, and has the common adolescent female obsession with cute boys and gossip. The Last Uchiha brat is her particular interest. While it seems harmless enough, you have the suspicion that it’ll be annoying. Anyway, once you get past their glaring personality flaws, this should make for an excellent team. (Replace Sarutobi Asuma as Jounin-sensei of Team 10)

>Team 12: Akiyama Ami, Kimura Koji, Takenaka Tobio. This team doesn’t have any clan kids, but rather contains three civilian born genin. None of them are particular good ninja. Ami seems to care more about her looks and that Last Uchiha brat than anything related to her career, Koji has some of the worst grades of the entire graduating class, and Tobio is eminently average. Frankly, you think this team is meant to fail. The only thing they have going for them is alliteration. But maybe they’ll surprise you? Probably not. If they do manage to pass your test, though, they’re a fairly blank slate team. Since they’ll have to rely on you for all of their shinobi training, you can effectively mold them as you wish. (Jounin-sensei of two filler Academy Students and the boy who knocked Naruto and Sasuke together that one time, spawning thousands upon thousands of terrible Yaoi fanfiction, Hard Mode)

>Fuck, you don’t even want to know. Just head to the Academy and find out there. (Random Select)

>Fuck this shit. Fuck the genin brats, fuck the Hokage, fuck the Will of Fire and fuck Konoha. You’d rather be a missing-nin than have to deal with this absolute bull.

>>1824235
>Team 8
Fuck you Kurenai, you are not dragging down perfectly likeable maincharacters down with you into irrelevant sidecharacterism with your incompetence this time!

>>1824235
>>Fuck this shit. Fuck the genin brats, fuck the Hokage, fuck the Will of Fire and fuck Konoha. You’d rather be a missing-nin than have to deal with this absolute bull.
It's edgy, but I don't recall any Naruto quests doing a Missing Nin route.

>>1824235
>>Fuck, you don’t even want to know. Just head to the Academy and find out there. (Random Select)

anything but team twelve.

Since we're an asshole, how about cucking harambe? kurenai for us

>>1824235
>Fuck, you don’t even want to know. Just head to the Academy and find out there. (Random Select)

>>1824235
>Fuck, you don’t even want to know. Just head to the Academy and find out there. (Random Select)

Rolled 4 (1d8)

>>1824259
>>1824268
>>1824288

Alright, you asked for it, will roll. 1,2=Team 7 3,4 =Team 8 5,6=Team 10 7,8=Team 12

>>1824301
Team 8 is a go. Writing.

>>1824301
>>1824310
The Academy of Konohagakure: the beating heart of the village, where all potential ninja receive training in the art of the shinobi. Well, that’s the traditional line. In truth, you think of it more as ninja preschool. Only three ninjutsu, a basic taijutsu style, and basic shurikenjutsu are taught there, plus general knowledge. Being born just over a decade before the Second Great Ninja War and having attended in its early years, the Academy of your time was a much harsher place than today. Senju Tobirama was not as soft-hearted a man as his elder brother, and he wrote the curriculum. While it didn’t reach the ‘kill your classmates as a graduation exam’ level practiced by another village, students were expected to be capable killers by the time they were assigned a jounin-sensei. No secondary exams were needed, because the quality of the graduates was much higher.

Of course, those were more violent days in general. You miss them.

You are currently waiting in the small room set aside for you and your jounin peers, as the chunin instructor prattles on in the neighboring classroom about how they’re all ninja now and the responsibilities that implies. Heh, won’t they be in for a surprise. You take a moment to examine your fellow elites.

Hmm…there are only two of note present. Sarutobi Asuma and Yuuhi Kurenai. You believe Kakashi was also assigned a team, which means he should be arriving a few hours from now. Asuma is the son of the Third Hokage and overall a very skilled jounin, while Kurenai is a recent promotion with excellent genjutsu. You briefly consider asking them what teams they have been assigned, then reconsider after recalling that you hate brats. And, as elite as they surely are, you were a jounin before they were even born. They still count.

“Alright, you can come in now,” calls a chunin from the classroom. You’re there in an instant.

You wait for all the other jounin to gather their teams and leave. It takes a few minutes, and when they’re done there are six genin remaining. It appears Asuma was assigned Team 10, and Kurenai Team 12. The leftover brats include the heirs to Aburame and Hyuuga, a dog-boy, the jinchuriki, and that Last Uchiha brat. Oh, and some girl. In other words, enough for two teams. Figuring one of them must be Kakashi’s, you call out.

“Hey. Which of you brats are assigned to…

>Time to pick a name

give us some options, do we look like nips to you?

>>1824358
Kirai Kodomo
Hate Children

>>1824358
Kirai Kodomo
Because i don't knwo japanese names

>>1824366
>>1824377
Sorry, here's a reference if you want.
www.behindthename.com/names/usage/japanese

>>1824369
Kirai is apparently used as an alias for edgy teenagers. I wonder how many western edgelords decide to go by "Hate"

>>1824358
Akira Hideo
first name, last name by the way.

>>1824391
Its honestly just a joke name. We're getting our team and our name is Hates Children lol

>>1824369
>>1824377
Hates children it is. Writing.

>>1824468
“Over here. Took you long enough,” says the dog boy. He gestures to the Aburame, who nods, and the Hyuuga, who does the same after a moment of hesitation. “Is that your real name?”

“Excuse me?” you ask.

“Is that your real name? Kirai Kodomo? Hates children?”

“Kiba-san, it is not polite to ask that sort of question. Why? Because-”

“Shut it, Shino.”

You give it a moment of thought. In retrospect, your parents were probably horrible people for naming you that. Thank the Sage of Six Paths they died in horrible accidents. Before you were born, not after. You might be a murderer, but you’re a trained murderer. The difference is that the only people you kill are certified enemies of the village. Anyway, the name is fitting, so you never saw any reason to change it.

“That’s none of your business,” you announce, mentally sighing. “Assemble on the roof within the next five minutes or I will be violently disappointed.”

And, within an instant, you’re on the roof yourself. You feel like making a statue of whoever invented the shunshin. If you’d spent any longer being accosted by that mangy brat, you’d probably have gone mad. You are not looking forward to training him. Unfortunately your moment of peace is quickly disturbed. They’re fast. Good.

You take this moment to size up Team 8. You hate the dog-boy already. Frankly, you’d prefer just the actual dog. Heck, the actual dog probably smells better. The Aburame appears totally unaffected to the casual observer, but you can see the dips of his chest that indicate such a quick rush to the roof exerted more of his stamina than it should have. Needs more physical conditioning. The Hyuuga is fine, if you don’t count the fact that she appears slightly terrified of you. And that is fine. You honestly prefer it.
You don’t like them at all.

Anyway, you suppose introductions are in order.

“Listen up, because I’m only going to say this once. Name and skills. Tell me. I don’t care about the rest.”

The Hyuuga looked like she wanted to say something, but the dog-boy spoke up first.

“Why don’t you introduce yourself first? We all know each other already.”

You are going to fake this child’s ‘suicide’ at the earliest available opportunity. Well, not really. Maybe. You’re really more just fantasizing about it, actually.

“Aburame, Shino. Aburame clan techniques, including cultivation of kikaichu and usage of kikaichu in battle.”

Ah, you knew you were going to hate the bug boy less than the dog boy.

“Since Shino already started…I’m Kiba, from the Inuzuka clan. I’ve got my clan jutsu,” he says and gestures towards the dog on the top of his hoodie. “Oh, and this is Akamaru, my nin-dog. Say hi, Akamaru.”

The dog barks.

“Um…Hyuuga Hinata…Gentle Fist. I…I’m not that good at it, though…”

She didn’t even mention the byakugan. She must be really scared of you, you hate her the least.

“Now are you going to tell us more about you?”

Ah, right. They know your name. All they need now are your skills.

>Cont.

>>1824511
There is a reason you were assigned a team. In order to become a jounin you had to be highly trained in most branches of the ninja arts, but there is one area at which you truly excel. Perhaps you’ll pass on some of your knowledge in this area to these brats you ended up with.

>Ninjutsu: If it’s not bloodline based or specific to some legendary shinobi or clan, there’s a good chance you know how to use the ninjutsu in question. Your knowledge isn’t as extensive as the Professor himself, the Third Hokage, but it’s still dangerous in its variety. Performing multiple nature transformations, even in succession, carries almost no difficulty for you whatsoever, and most enemies fall swiftly to one of your many techniques.

>Genjutsu: You are a master of illusions, with a well-honed repertoire of hypnotic techniques and nightmarish jutsu. Even the most subtle of tricks are not outside of your reach. Chances are that any enemy of yours is ensnared before they even notice, and will die without ever realizing their senses were being manipulated. You’re as good as a genjutsu user can get without the bullshit that is the sharingan.

>Taijutsu: All ninja must train to become masters of hand-to-hand combat, but you take that dedication to the next level. Your msucles roar with beastly strength, your speed is something truly astounding, and every inch of you is infused with pure physical power. You are knowledgeable in a number of martial arts and can demolish most foes with your bare hands.

>Kenjutsu: The sword is not the most common weapon of the ninja, but your blade is now an extension of your own form. Channeling chakra into your sword can create any number of dangerous effects, and the swiftness granted to you by intensive training and a life of combat allows you to effortlessly eviscerate opponents.

>>1824520
>Taijutsu: All ninja must train to become masters of hand-to-hand combat, but you take that dedication to the next level. Your msucles roar with beastly strength, your speed is something truly astounding, and every inch of you is infused with pure physical power. You are knowledgeable in a number of martial arts and can demolish most foes with your bare hands.

>>1824520
>Ninjutsu: If it’s not bloodline based or specific to some legendary shinobi or clan, there’s a good chance you know how to use the ninjutsu in question. Your knowledge isn’t as extensive as the Professor himself, the Third Hokage, but it’s still dangerous in its variety. Performing multiple nature transformations, even in succession, carries almost no difficulty for you whatsoever, and most enemies fall swiftly to one of your many techniques.

>>1824520
>>Genjutsu: You are a master of illusions, with a well-honed repertoire of hypnotic techniques and nightmarish jutsu. Even the most subtle of tricks are not outside of your reach. Chances are that any enemy of yours is ensnared before they even notice, and will die without ever realizing their senses were being manipulated. You’re as good as a genjutsu user can get without the bullshit that is the sharingan.

lets go actual assassin route

>>1824520
>Ninjutsu: If it’s not bloodline based or specific to some legendary shinobi or clan, there’s a good chance you know how to use the ninjutsu in question. Your knowledge isn’t as extensive as the Professor himself, the Third Hokage, but it’s still dangerous in its variety. Performing multiple nature transformations, even in succession, carries almost no difficulty for you whatsoever, and most enemies fall swiftly to one of your many techniques.

I'm getting a Bill Kilgore vibe from the MC. Does our MC love the smell of napalm in the morning?

>>1824520
>>Kenjutsu: The sword is not the most common weapon of the ninja, but your blade is now an extension of your own form. Channeling chakra into your sword can create any number of dangerous effects, and the swiftness granted to you by intensive training and a life of combat allows you to effortlessly eviscerate opponents.

>>1824511
>your parents were probably horrible people for naming you that. Thank the Sage of Six Paths they died in horrible accidents. Before you were born, not after.
Wait, our parents were both killed in horrible accidents before we were born? What, did we claw our way out of the wreckage and into existence?

>>1824520
>>Taijutsu: All ninja must train to become masters of hand-to-hand combat, but you take that dedication to the next level. Your msucles roar with beastly strength, your speed is something truly astounding, and every inch of you is infused with pure physical power. You are knowledgeable in a number of martial arts and can demolish most foes with your bare hands.

>>1824554
>Wait, our parents were both killed in horrible accidents before we were born? What, did we claw our way out of the wreckage and into existence?

In your mother's case, the horrible accident was your birth. There, now there's no need for any retcons. Everything makes sense now, nothing to see here, I am no one in particular.

>>1824554
Fuck it I'll switch to supporting Taijutsu so we don't tie.

>>1824520
>taijustu

>>1824526
>>1824554
>>1824566
>>1824568

Taijustu has been selected. You have no limits. Writing.

>>1824565
Shame. That wreckage thought was hilariously metal.

>>1824599

You are not Guts.

Back to writing.

>>1824576
“Taijutsu.”

“What do you mean, taijutsu? What kind of taijutsu?” asks the dog boy. You should probably learn his name at some point so you know what to engrave on his…grave. Heh.

“Taijutsu,” you repeat yourself, slightly louder this time.

The dog boy stares at you.

“Right,” he says. You can see he’s learning. Good.

“Kirai-sensei. Are there any other duties we must complete, or are we dismissed?” asks Shino.

“Hmph? Oh, yeah, there is something I have to inform you of. You are not genin.”

“What?” shouts the dog boy.

“You are not genin.”

“That’s bullshit! We passed the test, we are genin!”

“Kiba-san, perhaps it would be best to wait for Kirai-sensei to elaborate. Why? Because-”

“Shut it, Shino.”

“You are not genin. This is because I have not decided to accept you yet. Upon being assigned to a genin team, the presumptive genin must endure a secondary exam administered by their jounin-sensei. If they do not pass, they are sent back to the Academy.”

While they think about that, vocally, you block them out. You’ve been considering what sort of test you’d give for a while now.

>Set up a fairly simple teamwork test. If they can manage one solid hit on you working together, they pass. You’ll only fight at low chunin level to avoid murdering them outright and also to actually give them a chance of success.

>Order them to track down, capture, and interrogate a target, giving nothing but a physical description. In actuality, that person will be you under a transformation jutsu. Lead them on a wild goose chase across the entire village for the rest of the day, observing them the whole time. If they manage to keep up with your movements and suitably impress you in some way, you’ll reveal your identity and pass them.

>Fuck these brats. You’ve heard of Kakashi’s ‘Bell Test’, and you’ve also heard of the fact that he’s used it to fail every single genin team he’s ever been assigned. Maybe it’ll work for you too.

>No, really, fuck these brats. Throw them into the Forest of Death for the night. You’ll leave a shadow clone so the Hokage doesn’t get all pissy. If they can survive until tomorrow morning without your intervention, you’ll let them pass. Otherwise, back to the Academy they go.

>>1824612
>No, really, fuck these brats. Throw them into the Forest of Death for the night. You’ll leave a shadow clone so the Hokage doesn’t get all pissy. If they can survive until tomorrow morning without your intervention, you’ll let them pass. Otherwise, back to the Academy they go.

>>1824612
>>Order them to track down, capture, and interrogate a target, giving nothing but a physical description. In actuality, that person will be you under a transformation jutsu. Lead them on a wild goose chase across the entire village for the rest of the day, observing them the whole time. If they manage to keep up with your movements and suitably impress you in some way, you’ll reveal your identity and pass them.

>>Order them to track down, capture, and interrogate a target, giving nothing but a physical description. In actuality, that person will be you under a transformation jutsu. Lead them on a wild goose chase across the entire village for the rest of the day, observing them the whole time. If they manage to keep up with your movements and suitably impress you in some way, you’ll reveal your identity and pass them.

>>1824612
>>No, really, fuck these brats. Throw them into the Forest of Death for the night. You’ll leave a shadow clone so the Hokage doesn’t get all pissy. If they can survive until tomorrow morning without your intervention, you’ll let them pass. Otherwise, back to the Academy they go.

>>1824612
>Fuck these brats. You’ve heard of Kakashi’s ‘Bell Test’, and you’ve also heard of the fact that he’s used it to fail every single genin team he’s ever been assigned. Maybe it’ll work for you too.
Forest is too dangerous and we don't want to piss off the hyugas
All the rest are too easy
We should go 10% effort
Also knock out kiba first chance we get

>>1824612
>Order them to track down, capture, and interrogate a target, giving nothing but a physical description. In actuality, that person will be you under a transformation jutsu. Lead them on a wild goose chase across the entire village for the rest of the day, observing them the whole time. If they manage to keep up with your movements and suitably impress you in some way, you’ll reveal your identity and pass them.

>>1824612
>>No, really, fuck these brats. Throw them into the Forest of Death for the night. You’ll leave a shadow clone so the Hokage doesn’t get all pissy. If they can survive until tomorrow morning without your intervention, you’ll let them pass. Otherwise, back to the Academy they go.
If they can't handle a little probable death and horrific trauma, they shouldn't be here.

>>1824612
>>Order them to track down, capture, and interrogate a target, giving nothing but a physical description. In actuality, that person will be you under a transformation jutsu. Lead them on a wild goose chase across the entire village for the rest of the day, observing them the whole time. If they manage to keep up with your movements and suitably impress you in some way, you’ll reveal your identity and pass them.

>>1824612
>Order them to track down, capture, and interrogate a target, giving nothing but a physical description. In actuality, that person will be you under a transformation jutsu. Lead them on a wild goose chase across the entire village for the rest of the day, observing them the whole time. If they manage to keep up with your movements and suitably impress you in some way, you’ll reveal your identity and pass them.

>>1824616
>>1824623
>>1824638
>>1824658
>>1824663

Tracking exam it is. Writing.

File: IMG_1876.jpg (129 KB, 850x850)

129 KB JPG

MC?

>>1824675
That depends on if we had a wife and son, and then killed our wife and repeatedly tried and failed to kill our son.

>>1824675
>>1824678
>failing to kill our relatives
Buddy, we've been successfully offing family since birth. Leave the constant failure to the civilians.

Really enjoying your writing style so far OP, also appreciate the fact that you've started us off in a different style to most of these threads and the abject hatred of kids is hilarious

>>1824672
Given that Team 8 was clearly intended as a tracking team by the Hokage, and you’ve been involved in a number of tracking missions in the past, you decided to give them a tracking-based exam.

“Aburame. Hyuuga. Inuzuka. This is your exam: there is a woman approximately thirty years of age, with long, curly brown hair and light blue eyes. She stands at 168 centimeters and is slightly overweight at 72.5 kilograms. She is wearing a traditional-style kimono, white with pink flowers. Identifying features include a beauty mark on the lower left of her chin and a large birthmark, pinkish in color, located on her buttocks roughly eight centimeters to the right of her anus. This woman needs to be interrogated for information regarding a murder incident that occurred eleven hours ago in Senju Park. Your mission is as such: locate this woman, capture her, and bring her to this rooftop. You will proceed to interrogate her regarding the incident. Here is a file with further information on the murder to aid you in interrogation,” you hand it to Shino. “I will return to this rooftop in exactly twelve hours to determine if you have passed. Any questions?”

You regret asking as soon as dog-boy opens his mouth.

“Do we have to look under her kimono for the birthmark on her ass?”

“No questions, sensei,” says Shino, slipping the file under his trenchcoat.

“Good. Now, what are you waiting for? She’s in the village. Go find her.”

They scatter off. Time to get to work. First, you remove the kikaichu that Shino placed on your arm when you handed him the file. Smart as that bug brat is, he must have suspected something. Then, you go buy the strongest perfume you can find in the marketplace. Returning to your shitty apartment, you take a shower and then mask your scent with the perfume. Then, you transform into the fictional woman you created for them.

Now, where should you go first?

>The Marketplace. If they have half-a-brain (and the bug boy has proved that, at the very least) then they started here. A wide variety of individuals pass through here every day, so it’ll be easy to lose a target in a crowd…if they’re incompetent. Frankly, you this this’d be going easy on them.

>The rooftop of the Academy. Why would they go back to where they’ve already been?

>Senju Park. How often do suspects go to the scene of the crime? You don’t know, actually. You’re a ninja, but not a member of the military police. Maybe it’ll confuse the brats a bit.

>The top of the Hokage monument, though just behind the heads so no one can see you. The brats will likely search here last, giving you plenty of time to yourself.

>Stay in your shitty apartment. Lock the door. Hope they fail.

>>1824717
>Senju Park. How often do suspects go to the scene of the crime? You don’t know, actually. You’re a ninja, but not a member of the military police. Maybe it’ll confuse the brats a bit.

>>1824717
>>The top of the Hokage monument, though just behind the heads so no one can see you. The brats will likely search here last, giving you plenty of time to yourself.

>>1824717
>>The Marketplace

>>1824717
>>Senju Park. How often do suspects go to the scene of the crime? You don’t know, actually. You’re a ninja, but not a member of the military police. Maybe it’ll confuse the brats a bit.

>>1824717
>The top of the Hokage monument, though just behind the heads so no one can see you. The brats will likely search here last, giving you plenty of time to yourself.

>>1824717
>>Senju Park. How often do suspects go to the scene of the crime? You don’t know, actually. You’re a ninja, but not a member of the military police. Maybe it’ll confuse the brats a bit.

>>1824722
>>1824729
>>1824737
Consensus achieved. Am writing.

>>1824762
Senju Park. Named after the Senju, obviously. Very nice place. You believe some of the trees in it were actually made by the First Hokage. Supposedly, sensors can still feel traces of his chakra in the leaves. You decide to sit underneath one of these trees and observe the people passing by, keeping a careful eye out for your students. An hour or so passes with no trace of them. Good.

“Hey there, baby! You looking for a good time?”

A clearly drunk and morbidly obese man walks up to you. Must be an alcoholic, given how he’s intoxicated before noon. And a pervert. What to do…

“No.”

“Ah, come on. Don’t be like that…I can, you know, make you feel good. With my penis…it’s like, really big.”

“No.”

You stand up and poke him in the forehead with just enough force to knock him unconscious. Sometimes it is good to be a taijutsu specialist. The mild amusement at seeing him flop to ground is interrupted when you see a small dog walk up to you. It’s coat is golden, with big floppy ears, short legs and a wagging tail. It goes to lick you. When it does so, you notice that a small patch of fur on its underbelly has a tiny kikaichu on it. Shit. Probably Akamaru under a henge. Why? The bug brat must be responsible somehow.

You kick Akamaru aside, knocking him unconscious with the same ease as the drunkard. Smoke appears and the transformation is undone, and you look around you. You can’t detect any of your genin anywhere. Normally you would be able to. They’re genin, for fucks sake, they can’t evade a jounin’s senses. That means they must have split up, with the bug brat placing a kikaichu on the individual members to be able to track them all. That didn’t explain how Akamaru knew it was you. Your scent was concealed. He must have realized you were a ninja, but if anything, this would just result in him returning to the others to report that fact along with your location.

Wait. Could it be that, specifically because he realized you were a ninja, that he desired to take you on alone? That the lick was a distraction for a surprise attack that never happened? If the dog’s personality resembled his owner’s, then it was definitely a possibility. What a stupid fucking dog. And Akamaru too, that damn idiot of a canine.

Anyway, you can’t wait here. The brats would notice something if Akamaru’s scent remained in one place for too long. You killed the kikaichu, but that won’t matter to the dog boy’s nose.

>Head to the Hokage Monument. Should make sure something like this doesn’t happen again.

>Just wander the streets for a bit.

>Check into the hot springs. Wash up in the women’s bath to get Akamaru’s dog smell off of you. Also has other benefits.

>To the training grounds! Let’s see how the other genin teams’ are handling their tests.

>Fucking bug brat. Fucking dog boy. Head to the Forest of Death and blow off some steam killing giant man-eating tigers.

>>1824885
>To the training grounds! Let’s see how the other genin teams’ are handling their tests.

>>1824885
>>Just wander the streets for a bit.

>>1824885
>>Just wander the streets for a bit.

>>1824885
>>Just wander the streets for a bit.

>>1824885
>>Just wander the streets for a bit.

>>1824895
>>1824900
>>1824905
>>1824913

Street wandering appears to have won. Writing.

>>1824885
You hate crowds. Normally, you’d just be jumping on top of buildings and shit to get around, because you’re, you know, a fucking ninja, but here you walking like some dumbass civilian. I mean, that’s because right now you’re pretending to be some dumbass civilian, but still.

It doesn’t take very long for you to encounter one of them. The Hyuuga is standing on top of a building, which is where you wish you were right now. She’s transformed into a boy, but she forgot to activate her byakugan first. As a result, the eye veins are still showing. She instantly notices you with her dojutsu. Of course, you noticed her first. After all, you are a jounin, and you also knew where to look. No fucking ninja, not even a genin brat, is going to be walking on the street like some dumbass civilian, damn it. Except for you. This is why the Hokage doesn’t usually send taijutsu specialists out on infiltration missions.

She seems to favor the stealthy approach, dropping down to the streets silently and creeping up on you from behind. It’s not a very good stealthy approach, as she walks just a little too fast to be a civilian. Also, the eye veins are still showing. She should probably deactivate that when she’s not using it, otherwise it’ll drain her chakra more. Put it on the list of flaws to correct if the brats pass.

What to do?

>Walk a little faster yourself, risking suspicion, and head to the red light district. There’s a good chance that the sheltered heiress of the Hyuuga would be squeamish about that kind of thing, causing her to hesitate in her pursuit. Especially if you actually enter a whorehouse.

>Duck into a nearby ally, then shunshin away. It’ll be like you disappeared entirely.

>There’s a woman-only gym on the next corner. Since the Hyuuga is currently transformed as a boy, they wouldn’t let her in. Head there.

>Screw it, just shunshin behind her and attempt to knock her at. You’ll go just slow enough that she has a chance of blocking.

>>1824969
>Duck into a nearby alley, then shunshin away.

THEN TELEPORT BEHIND HER, AND KNOCK HER THE FUCK OUT.

OMAE WO MOU SHINDEIRU

>>1824969
>Walk a little faster yourself, risking suspicion, and head to the red light district. There’s a good chance that the sheltered heiress of the Hyuuga would be squeamish about that kind of thing, causing her to hesitate in her pursuit. Especially if you actually enter a whorehouse.

>>1824969
>>Duck into a nearby ally, then shunshin away. It’ll be like you disappeared entirely.

>>1824969
>Walk a little faster yourself, risking suspicion, and head to the red light district. There’s a good chance that the sheltered heiress of the Hyuuga would be squeamish about that kind of thing, causing her to hesitate in her pursuit. Especially if you actually enter a whorehouse.

>>1824969
>>Walk a little faster yourself, risking suspicion, and head to the red light district. There’s a good chance that the sheltered heiress of the Hyuuga would be squeamish about that kind of thing, causing her to hesitate in her pursuit. Especially if you actually enter a whorehouse.

>>1824969
>>Walk a little faster yourself, risking suspicion, and head to the red light district. There’s a good chance that the sheltered heiress of the Hyuuga would be squeamish about that kind of thing, causing her to hesitate in her pursuit. Especially if you actually enter a whorehouse.

>>1824969
>Walk a little faster yourself, risking suspicion, and head to the red light district. There’s a good chance that the sheltered heiress of the Hyuuga would be squeamish about that kind of thing, causing her to hesitate in her pursuit. Especially if you actually enter a whorehouse.

>>1824979
>>1824984
>>1825002
>>1825003
>>1825004

To the red light district it is.

>>1824969
>>Walk a little faster yourself, risking suspicion, and head to the red light district. There’s a good chance that the sheltered heiress of the Hyuuga would be squeamish about that kind of thing, causing her to hesitate in her pursuit. Especially if you actually enter a whorehouse.

>>1825009
Ah, the Red Light District of Konoha. Where all of its lonely shinobi go to sate their lusts on cheap whores. Truly a cornerstone of the village. You don’t personally partake, but you don’t judge those who do. You’re not all that interested in the pleasures of the flesh, beyond the ones that involve combat adrenaline rushes, yet many are and it the many whorehouses satisfy the demand. The village even gets a cut of the money thanks to the prostitution tax instituted by the Second Hokage. He’s your favorite, a real pragmatist. The others are a bit too soft-hearted and idealistic for your liking.

The Hyuuga girl’s blush is visible through her transformation, especially as a number of street solicitors attempt to get her attention and lead her into their brothels. If it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t have had the opportunity to glance back and check on her in the first place. She probably shouldn’t have transformed into a male that looked like he could pay. Eventually, she seems to get tired of this and simply launches herself at your back, aiming a gentle fist strike at your back.

Huh, she seemed too timid for that kind of maneuver. Guess she must be eager to get out of here. Anyway, her strike is practically in slow motion. You calmly sidestep her blow, making it look like you were just looking at one of the signs on the neighboring building. And to be fair, that’s what you were actually doing at the same time. Apparently there’s a sex shop with a sale on chocolate-flavored condoms.

She realizes that she didn’t hit a thing, turning around and aiming another strike at your back. You bend over at just the right time, picking up a 100-ryo coin that had been lodged in a crack on the sidewalk. Then you shunshin away, pocketing the coin and leaving the poor brat stranded alone in the middle of the Red Light District. You hope that Hiashi doesn’t murder you for this.

Heh, where to go now? Perhaps you’ll encounter another one of your students somewhere else. It’s already past noon, so they better hurry.

>Head down to the Marketplace. Since it’s the first place they checked, it’s unlikely they’ll go back there until they’ve searched everywhere else.

>Since you’re already in the Red Light District, you know there’s a place around here that has women in bikinis serve you barbecue. It’s pretty good, you went there with an acquaintance once in celebration of a successful mission. That 100-ryo coin should mean your have just enough money on you, and you haven’t eaten lunch yet, so…

>Go back to your shitty apartment. You have some sake in the fridge. It might be a good idea to get drunk to make this more of a challenge for you.

>The Hokage Monument. Take in the view and avoid the brats for a bit. What’s not to love?

>Honestly, this is getting boring for you. Make a shadow clone and have them pursue it while you go train.

Dam we are a real asshole. I LOVED IT!

>>1825100
>>Since you’re already in the Red Light District, you know there’s a place around here that has women in bikinis serve you barbecue. It’s pretty good, you went there with an acquaintance once in celebration of a successful mission. That 100-ryo coin should mean your have just enough money on you, and you haven’t eaten lunch yet, so…

>>1825100
>>The Hokage Monument. Take in the view and avoid the brats for a bit. What’s not to love?

>>1825100
>>Honestly, this is getting boring for you. Make a shadow clone and have them pursue it while you go train.

>>1825100
>Honestly, this is getting boring for you. Make a shadow clone and have them pursue it while you go train.

>>1825100
>>Since you’re already in the Red Light District, you know there’s a place around here that has women in bikinis serve you barbecue. It’s pretty good, you went there with an acquaintance once in celebration of a successful mission. That 100-ryo coin should mean your have just enough money on you, and you haven’t eaten lunch yet, so…
That poor team. I love us.

>>1825100
>The Hokage Monument. Take in the view and avoid the brats for a bit. What’s not to love?

>>1825100
>>The Hokage Monument. Take in the view and avoid the brats for a bit. What’s not to love?

>>1825100
>Since you’re already in the Red Light District, you know there’s a place around here that has women in bikinis serve you barbecue. It’s pretty good, you went there with an acquaintance once in celebration of a successful mission. That 100-ryo coin should mean your have just enough money on you, and you haven’t eaten lunch yet, so…

>>1825100
>>Honestly, this is getting boring for you. Make a shadow clone and have them pursue it while you go train

Rolled 3 (1d3)

Oh, look. A three-way tie. Great.

>>1825162

>Honestly, this is getting boring for you. Make a shadow clone and have them pursue it while you go train.

This wins. Writing.

>>1825165
Your shadow clone goes off in the other direction, while you undo the transformation and head back to your shitty apartment to wash off the scent of perfume. It would be problematic if Akamaru recognized you when you regained consciousness, then bother you while you’re trying to train. You’re glad to be able to hop around on rooftops again, and rejoice in this fact all the way to your shitty apartment.

Your shitty apartment has a wonderful history to it, actually. You see, it was once inhabited by the Sannin Jiraiya when he was but a mere child. You were actually the orphan assigned to the apartment after he became a genin and you entered the Academy. You’re still finding stashes of erotic magazines hidden in the walls and curiously colored stains.

You walk in the front door of your shitty apartment, and the first thing you notice is the explosion. It was easily avoided, of course, but it managed to make the apartment even shittier. The second thing you notice is the mass of kikaichu coming down from the ceiling, which you swiftly dodge, punching a hole through said ceiling and landing on the rooftop of your apartment building. The bug brat is waiting for you there.

“Hello, Kirai-sensei.”

“Hmph. Why did you set up a trap in my apartment?”

“I did indeed set up a trap in your apartment. Why? I suspected that you were planning something, so I decided to research the target using the file you gave me. There is no record of the suspect in the birth records present in the library’s archives, and I doubted that her birthdate would be classified as she is a civilian. I concluded she didn’t exist, and the mission was mere deception. Therefore, I instead tracked you down, while my kikaichu accompanied Kiba-san and Hinata-san. You would likely return to your place of residence at some point, so I asked around. An informant jounin who asked that his name not be disclosed told me that if I was looking for ‘that old asshole’, he lived on the top floor of this apartment complex in room 5B. I finished setting up and was preparing to leave one of my insect clones behind while I rejoined the rest of the team in their pursuit, when you walked through the front door of your apartment.”

“Huh,” you say. The kick that you subsequently deliver to his midsection is just enough to knock the wind out of him. “Good work.”

You proceed to poke him in the forehead, and his kikaichu return to attend to his unconscious body. After taking a shower, you head off to the training grounds. Where do you want to go?

>Forest of Death should be fun, nothing like murdering giant monsters.

>Go look at some of the genin grounds, see how the other teams are handling their tests.

>Gai got a genin team last year, they train on Training Ground 9. Why don’t you pay the guy a visit and have a spar with him, one taijutsu specialist to another?

>Just go to a training ground and do normal training. Punch through a few trees, do a couple thousands push-ups, you know.

>>1825280
>>Gai got a genin team last year, they train on Training Ground 9. Why don’t you pay the guy a visit and have a spar with him, one taijutsu specialist to another?

>>1825280
>>Gai got a genin team last year, they train on Training Ground 9. Why don’t you pay the guy a visit and have a spar with him, one taijutsu specialist to another?

>>1825280
>Forest of Death should be fun, nothing like murdering giant monsters.

>>1825280
>Gai got a genin team last year, they train on Training Ground 9. Why don’t you pay the guy a visit and have a spar with him, one taijutsu specialist to another?

>>1825280
>Gai got a genin team last year, they train on Training Ground 9.

>>1825295
>>1825296
>>1825307
>>1825308
Pretty clear what most people want. Writing.

>Biggest curmudgeon in the village
>Goes to hang out with Guy
Hilarious

>>1825363

I'd love it if Gai and Kirai are great friends despite their totally conflicting personalities.

>>1825375
Yeah that's what I assumed. Their love of martial arts overcomes their drastic difference in personality

>>1825378

It'd also be pretty good if each one thought "Man, this guy's an asshole. I love it."

>>1825375
>And then I knocked the guy's head off with a round house, it was great.
>HAHAHA THAT'S THE SPIRIT OF YOUTH

>>1825385
Strangely i can see this happening.

So, I want to point out that our team should probably fail just because of the fact that they have tried tracking us down as single units without backup. If we had actually been the killer, or an enemy shinobi, they would have either been killed or sold due to bloodline. So far they are also doing a piss poor job in general.

Granted if we pass them we are going to have to fix two of their attitudes and also make all three of them learn stuff outside of clan techniques.

>>1825314
Might Gai is an interesting individual. An idiot, to be sure, but one with a lot of muscle. Most people seem to underestimate him, but you’ve seen before what he can do when he unlocks the gates. It pains you to admit it, as he’s still just a brat, same as Asuma, Kurenai, and Kakashi, but when he pushes himself hard enough he probably surpasses you in taijutsu by a small margin. A very, very, small margin. It’s practically infinitesimal, really. But it’s existent, which makes him a very dangerous foe indeed. And a good partner to train with to increase your own skills.

Training Ground 9 isn’t too far away from your shitty apartment, and when you arrive, you spot Gai from a long distance, wearing his green jumpsuit. You decide to give the traditional greeting from one taijutsu user from another.

“Dynamic Entry!”

Your kick is launched straight at his back, knocking him unconscious with the force of your blow. You can hear the crack of bones breaking. Strange. He should have easily responded to that, even if it was jounin-level speed it would have been a piece of cake for him. Taking a closer look, you realize that the person you kicked in the back was in fact a young boy wearing the exact same clothes as Gai. Damn, maybe you should have checked for his jounin vest.

“Ah! Kirai-san! What are you doing to my most youthful student?!”

Gai’s kick is swiftly blocked by your arm, and you attempt to grab the underside of his leg. Sadly, he was already one step ahead of you. His body contorted as he backflipped away. While you’re focused on Gai, you can still sense two other genin checking your accidental victim for a pulse. You hope they find one, otherwise things would probably get very awkward between your and Gai.

Anyway, you don’t have a second to waste. You charge at Gai, fist up, only to jump over him and turn for a mid-air roundhouse kick. Gai was not fooled by your feint. A flurry of blows ensues, all blocked or dodged by the two of you.

“Um, excuse me, sensei? Lee is breathing really weird. We should probably take him to the hospital,” says a girl.

You turn to look. She’s dressed very simply, but in pink. What an ugly color. Plain, with brown hair and eyes. Roughly twelve, with a forehead protector displayed on her…forehead. Why is it that some ninja put it on strange places besides the forehead anyway? That wouldn’t fly back in your day. Using forehead protectors as fashion accessories, how disgusting. Well, this must be one of Gai’s genin.

“Indeed, Tenten,” says Gai, as he launches another punch at your sternum. “However, I am currently avenging him! You and Neji should take him, as my two other most youthful students!”

“Gai-sensei?”

“Yes, Tenten?”

“We can’t run nearly as fast as you.”

>>1825427
Gai’s extremely large brow furrows.

“Very well, I shall take him. Kirai-san! You stay right here, so I can return and avenge my student!”

And with that, Gai grabs Lee’s body and begins sprinting towards the hospital. Leaving you stuck with this ‘Tenten’ brat. You can also see some Hyuuga chick-wait, no, that’s a boy-who’s over by one of the training posts practicing gentle fist. He took one look at Gai running off with Lee, shook his head, and returned to his training. Wow, what an asshole. Kids these days.

You’re kind of at impasse.

>Have a chat with this ‘Tenten’ brat (what kind of name is Tenten). Let’s see what having Gai as a sensei is like.

>Go over and have a chat with the girlish-looking Hyuuga boy. He seems really dick-ish, what has Gai been teaching the kid?

>Train for a bit while you wait for him to return
.
>Eh, fuck it. Take a nap. He’ll just wake you up with a Dynamic Entry like he did when you went on the mission together to the Land of Iron. You still remember that the reactions of the samurai when you punched through their armor with your bare hands. Priceless.

>>1825432
>Go over and have a chat with the girlish-looking Hyuuga boy. He seems really dick-ish, what has Gai been teaching the kid?

"Your sister kinda sucks as a ninja."

>>1825432
>>Train for a bit while you wait for him to return
Poor Lee. Ah, well. He'll learn from this.
Back to work.

>>1825432
>>Have a chat with this ‘Tenten’ brat (what kind of name is Tenten). Let’s see what having Gai as a sensei is like.

"Why did he make a mini me? I thought it was him that I was kicking."

>>1825432
>Go over and have a chat with the girlish-looking Hyuuga boy. He seems really dick-ish, what has Gai been teaching the kid?
>"You Hyuuga have really fallen off in recent years"

>>1825432
>>Have a chat with this ‘Tenten’ brat (what kind of name is Tenten). Let’s see what having Gai as a sensei is like.
>"Why did he make a mini me? I thought it was him that I was kicking."

While we

>Train for a bit while you wait for him to return

>>1825432
>Eh, fuck it. Take a nap. He’ll just wake you up with a Dynamic Entry like he did when you went on the mission together to the Land of Iron. You still remember that the reactions of the samurai when you punched through their armor with your bare hands. Priceless.

>>1825432
>Go over and have a chat with the girlish-looking Hyuuga boy. He seems really dick-ish, what has Gai been teaching the kid?

I feel like we'd both get along with how assholeish we both are

>>1825432
>Train for a bit while you wait for him to return

>>1825432
>Go over and have a chat with the girlish-looking Hyuuga boy. He seems really dick-ish, what has Gai been teaching the kid?

>Train for a bit while you wait for him to return

>>1825432
Also the mini-me thing is great

>>1825456
Yeah that was funny, add that in as well please OP

>>1825425
That's what we need to do. Besides look at the bug boy. We told him we are a taijutsu master. You can't go and spit all you did and not expect being kicked in the face. If it was a enemy he would be dead.

At least the girl shows SOME promise. More then we can say about dog boy.Aren't the ninja and the dog supposed to be together? How the fuck you send your partner alone? Fucking stupid kids i tell you.

Honestly lets fail them and just go do some hardcore training/high class mission.

>>1825464
Bug boy did pretty well with his strategic thinking but yeah letting his guard down and explaining everything to us was fucking stupid, and as you've both mentioned, the massive fuck up of coming at us one by one alone.

They're going to need to take a serious look at their faults and train to cover them

>>1825464
The girls too timid to be a good ninja
We need to force her to grow a back bone
The dog is just s fucking dumb ass
We need to work on bug boy though

>>1825474
The kids have potential. I mean, on their own, all three of them managed to track us down.

The bug brat had us pegged before we even transformed.
We need to instill teamwork in them. Make them understand that without each other, they're as good as dead.

Throw them in the Forest for a night anyway.

with the guy guys bugs on everyone they were working together.
plus take into account that they had to search the whole village, splitting up was smart.

>>1825483
Still bug boy should have stayed in watch regrouped so he could have both of his team members support.

>>1825482
Yea I agree lets say they fail and then tell them they have two options. The Academy. Or our "supplemental lessons" aka the Forest of Death for a night and or all of tomorrow.

>>1825483
>Giving stupid kids any credit
Sasuga

>>1825491
I like it.

Gives them the illusion of choice.

To be absolutely fair to your genin, you have been fucking with them quite a bit. Additionally, only Shino suspected that the target might not be an ordinary civilian. A single genin would be enough to capture a single civilian, and having to search a whole village made splitting up quite convenient. Shino's plan was to trap your apartment, then regroup with Hinata, Kiba, and Akamaru to pool their findings. He wasn't absolutely sure you were the target, so the trap on your apartment was more of a precaution. He expected you to avoid the trap, then have his kikaichu drain your chakra, allowing him to return and retrieve your unconscious body later. You just happened to head back to your apartment at the same time he finished the trap, and he figured that running would be pointless when confronted with a jonin who already avoided the trap.

That being said, they've made a lot of rookie mistakes and a pretty dumb. You'll scold them about it later, of course.

Also, you have yet to encounter Kiba. He and Akamaru split up as part of Shino's plan, figuring that, if the target was not actually you, that Akamaru could distract the target by appearing to be a normal dog, then knocking her unconscious with his taijutsu.

>>1825503
True, granted he should have mention the speculation to his team members.

>>1825503
Still screams poor communication and teamwork though. Lets chuck them into the forest to fix it or fail them. Either option seems fun!

Alright, since people are combining votes, it looks like

>Go over and have a chat with the girlish-looking Hyuuga boy. He seems really dick-ish, what has Gai been teaching the kid?
>Train for a bit while you wait for him to return

So you'll have a talk with him while punching some nearby trees into sawdust.

However, that'll be next time on Jounin Quest, which resume sometime tomorrow, after I've had breakfast. Good night, or good whatever it is where you are.

>>1825523
This was one of his mistakes, yeah. He did consider it but did not trust Kiba with the information. You'll be going over this sort of thing with them in more detail in your post-test scolding.

>>1825535
Yep. Poor coordination and teamwork. This will be in your scolding. They needed some way to communicate with each other.

>>1825535
They are freshly graduated genin to be fair. In saying that though, I agree we should be harsh and forge them into the toughest and best ninja of their generation

>>1825523
Communication between team members is important. What surprises me the most is the fact that out of the three, dog-boy should have some experience with team work. After all his fucking clan tries to create a bond between the human and the dog.

>>1825541
Thanks for running, it's been fun and your writing style is enjoyable.

>>1825541
Good questing QM sorry about my ham-handed joke name winning lol

>>1825561
You should have retracted your vote or something.

Having said that maybe something like child eater would have been more sinister and funny

>>1825561
It's not that we actually were named that. Remember, we were an orphan at birth.

We got called it by all the other kids at the orphanage. Grumpiness was a trait of ours from Day 1, and our antagonism towards the other kids our age got us the name Hates Children. It's not technically our official name, but then, we never had an official name to begin with. A file number in the Konoha Beauracracy, maybe, but not a name.

>>1825571
I think your overestimating how sorry I was about it honestly but whatever lol

>>1825587
Okay so our mom died when she gave birth to us. What about dad? Was he on a mission and just died?

>inb4 he died on it's way to the hospital.

You know, when I saw another Naruto quest I just kinda meh'd it, but this is actually really fun!

File: __reinhardt_overwatch_dra(...).jpg (125 KB, 850x985)

125 KB JPG

ALso I was thinking we sorta looked like this or Garp from One Piece.

Shino is probaly my favourite genin so I'm glad we got him

File: gggg.jpg (14 KB, 450x255)

14 KB JPG

>>1825644
I want us to look like this.

>>1825951
Huh, just some normal dude then? I can see the appeal of that.

>>1825951
>A middle-aged surly perverted salaryman
Not sure about perversion, but I'd dig a normal looking crotchety old man

I honestly just pictured us as that guy that teaches konohamaru but much older and grizzled but without being a pervert

>>1825630
Never try to stiff your ninja midwife.

>>1825541
You decide to warm up for Gai by training a bit. You head over to where the Hyuuga is training. It appears he is practicing his strikes on the training post, but is not using chakra, presumably to avoid breaking it. Gai must be really lax in his training if the brat’s not even able to break through a training post with his bare hands yet. That’s why you always have to use trees, no one cares if you break them. You don’t have the ryo to go around replacing all the training posts in the village.

If the Hyuuga takes notice of you, he doesn’t show it. You head over to the nearby treeline, settle into your stance, and begin punching trees. After felling about twenty, you start getting a little bored. Training a genin team must have made Gai slower, he’s getting lax on his training if he’s not back by now. Grunting, you continue felling trees.

“Hey, Hyuuga.”

He doesn’t respond.

“Hey, Hyuuga.”

He doesn’t respond.

You grab a felled tree branch, lift it off the ground, and throw it at him. He’s forced to dodge to the side, but by the time he makes it there, you’re already behind him. Having activated his byakugan as soon as he noticed the thrown branch, he notices you immediately and turns to launch a strike straight into your solar plexus. The brat’s using chakra now, so he must be serious. Good. This gives you an opportunity to gauge the quality of Gai’s training, as, like all Hyuuga, this brat is a taijutsu specialist.

Evading his strike is child’s play, of course, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s fast. With the strength of the gentle fist being precision rather than brute force, Gai must have trained the brat in speed more than strength. It explains why he was unable to break the training post earlier. However, what really struck you, and not literally because there was no way you were going to let him strike you, was just how damn fast this brat was. He must be chunin level already, indicating that Gai was either a really good teacher or this brat was something special. He couldn’t have been older than thirteen or fourteen.

The next series of strikes he aims at your various vital points. He’s doesn’t hold back at all, thankfully. You dodge them easily. Then, you casually hook your leg around his, then pull. He loses his balance and falls to the ground, allowing you to deliver a weak punch to his face as he falls. Anything harder and you would probably have shattered his skull. As it is, you can see a stream of blood from where his face fell in the dirt. Must have broken his nose.

“Hey, Hyuuga.”

“Neji!” shouts the girl from earlier. Oh, she’s still here.

As for his part, the brat seems relatively unfazed by his injury, backflipping off the ground and landing on top of the training post. Impressive acrobatics for a kid his age. He’s huffing, exhausted by his injury, but those veiny eyes of his are still firmly locked on yours, clearly searching for any sign of weakness. Despite his dojutsu, he wouldn't find such a thing.

>>1826534
“Hey. Hyuuga.”

“What?!”

“Good work.”

The kick you aim at his midsection was much harder than the one you aimed at your own genin earlier, but the Hyuuga brat still maintained consciousness. That being said he was knocked off of the training post and into a nearby tree, felling it. Yet his eyes were still firmly on you, increasingly furious. Heh, what a ferocious kid. Gai’s done a good job.

“Your taijutsu is excellent, your speed in particular,” you elaborate, “and your form is impeccable. Frankly, if this were back in the day, you would probably have already been promoted to chunin on the battlefield.”

You give him a thumbs up. He spits up some blood.

“That being said, if a jounin starts talking to you, the correct response if ‘Yes, sir’, you got that?”

“Who the hell even are you?!” the girl screams, running over to Neji’s body. “First Lee, and now Neji. I’m not next, am I?”
“Nah, that first one was an accident. Did Gai have a secret love child while I wasn’t looking? Who’s this ‘Lee’ kid?”

“He’s my teammate!”

“Of course. But who is he?”

Neji perks up a bit.

“He is a failure, trying to defy his own destiny. Perhaps that is why Gai-sensei feels so fondly for him,” Neji says, as a small stream of blood runs out from his mouth.

Wow, the brat finally speaks up just to insult his teammate? What an asshole. You’re glad you knocked him down a peg.

“Now,” says Neji, “Who exactly are you?”

“Kirai Kodomo, Jounin of Konohagakure. Serial number 532-”

“Hates children? Is that your real name?”

“I wasn’t finished yet. Serial number 532475. Who are you?”

“Hyuuga Neji, genin.”

“No serial number?”

“Isn’t that only for orphans?” asks the girl. You think her name was Tenken or something. Maybe Tenren? Something that started in Ten.

“Is it?” you ask. “Maybe it is. I don’t actually know.”

If so, that means you would be Konoha’s five hundred and thirty-two thousandth four hundred and seventy-fifth orphan. Sounds about right, given your birth year.

“Ah! Kirai-san! What are you doing to my most youthful student?!”

Oh, Gai’s back. Finally. Fighting a genin, chunin-level or no, is kind of boring.

“Don’t worry, he shouldn’t be as heavily injured as the last one. The kick was only high-chunin this time. How is the mini-me, anyway?”

“Who? Lee? My student is currently receiving treatment in the hospital. I have returned to avenge him!”

“Uhuh. Say, Tenken, take Neji to the hospital. I think this next spar will end up destroying your training ground.”

You and Gai enter your fighting stances. Well, it’s time an unfriendly spar.

>>1826534
>>1826535

>Start out on the defensive. Gai’s not exactly happy with you right now, so his offense might become sloppy. Probably not, as he’s a consummate professional when it comes to his taijutsu form, but it’s worth a shot.

>Throw one of the tree trunks to distract him. While his vision is obscured, create a clone. Have it feint an attack from the front, while you maneuver around behind him for a Dynamic Entry to his rear.

>Punch the ground. The subsequent shockwave should be enough to affect Gai’s balance, giving you an opportunity to strike.

>>1826536
>Throw one of the tree trunks to distract him. While his vision is obscured, create a clone. Have it feint an attack from the front, while you maneuver around behind him for a Dynamic Entry to his rear.

>>1826536
>Throw one of the tree trunks to distract him. While his vision is obscured, create a clone. Have it feint an attack from the front, while you maneuver around behind him for a Dynamic Entry to his rear.

>>1826536
>>Throw one of the tree trunks to distract him. While his vision is obscured, create a clone. Have it feint an attack from the front, while you maneuver around behind him for a Dynamic Entry to his rear.

>>1826535
>Throw one of the tree trunks to distract him. While his vision is obscured, create a clone. Have it feint an attack from the front, while you maneuver around behind him for a Dynamic Entry to his rear.

>>1826536
>Throw one of the tree trunks to distract him. While his vision is obscured, create a clone. Have it feint an attack from the front, while you maneuver around behind him for a Dynamic Entry to his rear.

>>1826536
>>1826535
>Throw one of the tree trunks to distract him. While his vision is obscured, create a clone. Have it feint an attack from the front, while you maneuver around behind him for a Dynamic Entry to his rear.

>>1826536
>>Throw one of the tree trunks to distract him. While his vision is obscured, create a clone. Have it feint an attack from the front, while you maneuver around behind him for a Dynamic Entry to his rear.

>>1826539
>>1826560
>>1826564
>>1826574
>>1826602
>>1826610
>>1826611
Sorry for the wait. Writing.

>>1826618
You have an unfortunate name, QM.

Why didn't you people tie up ninjutsu and taijutsu? We could have been a nintaijutsu user.

>>1826618
Grinning, you grab hold of one of the tree trunks you felled earlier. To an ordinary man, it would probably be heavy. Not for you, though, as you simply lift it overhead and fling it towards Gai. Gai wasn’t waiting around while you did this. He charged, his punch shattering straight through the trunk and aimed directly at what he thought was you. In reality, you used the time granted to you when the trunk obscured his vision to create an illusory clone. This isn’t the sort of trick he’d normally fall for. He must be really angry about the whole ‘severely injuring his students’ thing.

“Dynamic Entry!” you shout, launching one squarely at his exposed back.

He notices in the nick of time, spinning rapidly to meet your kick with one of his own. The force from yours was enough to crack the ground beneath his feet, but Gai’s own leg still held. You back off, backflipping several times to create some distance between the two of you. And to think, you thought he might be getting slower. How foolish of you.

He doesn’t allow you more time to think, however. He grabs two tree trunks of his own, places them under his arms, and then leaps in the air. While he’s still above you, he tosses them at astounding speed. You block both of them, the trunks grinding into dust against the strength of your arms. Wait, is that...it looked like Gai had decided to use a similar trick as you, for during the period of time that your vision was obscured by the trunks, he had used one of his feet to pull out his nunchaku, which were now aimed in a spiral straight to your groin.

“That’s a low blow, Gai,” you say, as they meet their target. When they do so, the chain holding them together breaks. “But you must consider which is harder. Your steel nunchaku, or...”

He interrupts you with a kick towards your face. Must not be in much of humorous mood right now. Ah, well. The kick overextends slightly, allowing you to grab the underside of his calf. With his leg firmly in your grasp, you begin to spin. You toss him towards one of the training posts, which is destroyed upon impact. He instantly recovers, and then does something unexpected.

“KAIMON, OPEN!”

The fuck? He’s going to use the Eight Gates? He must have been really fond of that little brat. Gai’s the type that says that sort of risky technique is best used only to protect those precious to you, or something stupid like that.

His next kick smashes into the underside of your chin hard enough to send you spiraling into the air.

“KAGE BUYO!” he shouts, appearing behind you.

He’s planning on using the Primary Lotus. Shit.

>This is the reason the substitution jutsu was made. Time to use it on something, fast.

>Open up the first gate yourself. With that, his Primary Lotus won’t be able to damage you.

>>1826654
>OPEN UP THE FIRST GATE

WE'RE GOING TOE TO TOE WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

>>1826654
>>Open up the first gate yourself. With that, his Primary Lotus won’t be able to damage you.

>>1826654
>This is the reason the substitution jutsu was made. Time to use it on something, fast.

>>1826654
>>This is the reason the substitution jutsu was made. Time to use it on something, fast.

>>1826654
>This is the reason the substitution jutsu was made. Time to use it on something, fast.

>>1826654
>>This is the reason the substitution jutsu was made. Time to use it on something, fast.

beating guy without the gates sounds badass

>>1826662
>>1826684
>>1826689
>>1826731

Substitution it is. Writing

>>1826731
>beating guy without the gates sounds badass
And also impossible from a pure-taijutsu standpoint. Without already being massively above his base.

>>1826735
Yeah, plus we're old.

>>1826734
Do we even have to roll for anything or is it just option picking?

>>1826854
If you really want all of your combats to be decided by luck, then sure, I guess I can add dice-rolling.

>>1826832
We'd better use the gates or Guy is going to whip us like a disobedient Uchiha.

>>1826832
so is the fucking 3rd and hes a goddamn monster

>>1826857
We ain't the 3rd brah.

>>1826857
He's still a ton weaker than he was in his prime.

>>1826855
No, that's fine.

Really, it's fine.

>having nightmares about us getting a 1 against Kiba

Uggh.

>>1826855
Dont mind either. Perhaps you can ask for dice when its truely neccesarily in combat with enemies, or to see if our training the brats is effective.

>>1826734
There’s no need to open up the first gate just yet. Not when you’re fast enough to form the handseals for a substitution, anyway. It’s a good thing you haven’t used your chakra much today.

“Kawarimi no jutsu,” you say under your breath, barely avoiding Gai’s restraints. Which in Gai’s case are actually just his arms, not bandages or some other silly thing.

You shift places with the nearest object that enters your sight, which happens to be an eagle flying overhead. What a poor fucking bird. Anyway, you regain your balance in mid-air and land on a training post. You like to think it looked a lot cooler when you did it then when the Hyuuga brat from earlier did. From here, you have an excellent view of the eagle being piledriven into the ground. All that’s left is a variety of eagle internal organs. It takes a moment for Gai to notice, and in that time, you prepare yourself for another strike.

“Wait, Kiba-san!”

“TSUUGA!”

Hey, was that the bug brat? Who was Kiba again? Was that the Hyuuga girl? Maybe you should learn their names at some point. Wait, Tsuuga? Passing fang. That was an Inuzuka taijutsu, meaning that it had to have been the dog boy. You turn in the direction of the voice, and sure enough, you see the characteristic spinning of the Inuzuka.

Hmm, normally he would use Gatsuuga. However, that requires the use of a nin-dog partner. This would mean that he has yet to recover Akamaru from Senju Park, or, alternatively, that you accidentally killed the dog. You hope it isn’t the latter, because that would make things awkward between you and the Inuzuka clan. You don’t need fucking politics to interfere with your life.

Oh, right, he’s still coming to attack you. He’s slow by your standards, but you suppose he’s fast enough for a genin. Just as he’s about to tear into you, you leap over him, grabbing the hood of his jacket as you do so. Then, you toss him at Gai, who’s currently charging at you full-speed. They collide with the audible crack of broken bones. The sound was not coming from Gai’s body.

“Look, Gai. Now you’ve severely injured one of my students, so we’re even.”

“Huh?!”

That gives you the opportunity you need. As Gai’s busy trying to figure out why there’s a twelve-year old that just smashed into his chest, the fatigue from using the first gate hits him. With his endurance, it’s only a split-second of weakness, but it’s enough for you to aim a Dynamic Entry straight into his shoulder. And this time the crack of bone did, in fact, come from Gai’s body. The first gate is deactivated. Now’s your chance!

You launch a punch into Gai’s solar plexus with your full strength, knocking the wind out of him, then spin rapidly for a roundhouse kick to his groin. It hits him hard enough to knock him into a nearby tree, which breaks under the weight of the impact.

“Yes, now we really are even,” you say. “And as for you, Inuzuka, you shouldn’t be messing around when adults are fighting seriously.”

>>1826855
Is that really worse than having it be decided entirely by how much you agree with our decisions?

>>1826874
You take a moment to check his now unconscious body for a pulse. Good, he’s alive. Once again, you don’t need fucking politics to interfere with your life. You notice that the bug brat is coming to retrieve him.

“Aburame. Why were you two here?”

“Kirai-sensei. Kiba-san located my unconscious body on the roof of your apartment complex and awakened me. I wished to regroup with Hinata-san and Akamaru, but once I informed him of the circumstances he insisted on running off and challenging you. I pursued him, but he is faster than me, and was able to locate you first. I tried to stop him from attacking you once I arrived. He believed that a surprise attack once you were already distracted by your spar would be enough to harm you.”

“Not a terrible strategy. However, he should have realized that charging in alone against a jounin would be foolish. If I were a genin, it would be successful, yet he failed to take into account the likely gap in ability. You should probably bring the Inuzuka to the hospital.”

“Indeed, Kirai-sensei.”

He says that, but you can already sense it’s not happening. He dissipates into insects. An insect clone. What sort of trick is this? Also, why are there several hundred kunai approaching your backside?

“This is for Lee and Neji, you bastard!”

Oh, it’s the girl. Ten-whatever. She should have known better than to throw kunai at you, that’s not really a good idea. You deflect them easily, and evade the subsequent gentle fist strike from the girl on your team. Transformed as one of the tree trunks laying on the ground? Really? That’s when you notice the kikaichu crawling all over your arms.

Ah! Dog boy had bug boy’s insects underneath his coat! That was the true purpose of the Tsuuga. They must have latched on when you grabbed his hoodie. Smart, but not smart enough. Even with your chakra draining, you are easily able to flex your arm muscles hard enough to instantaneously kill all of the kikaichu. What sort of plan had they come up with? How did they rope the girl from Gai’s team into it? You ponder this as you toss the Hyuuga into an oncoming flurry of kunai from that girl. To her credit, she manages to dodge most of them, even in midair, but not without suffering a fair few wounds.

That’s when you notice that Gai’s back up, and is currently aiming a Dynamic Entry at your face. Damn it, Gai.

The kick strikes you full force, and you can hear the crunch as your nose breaks. You’re knocked off the training post by the impact. It isn’t enough to faze you for long, as you grab the sides of his leg as its shoved firmly in your face and twist, breaking his knee. Unfortunately, doing this leaves you open. This is discovered as you notice a particularly large kikaichu crawling on your leg, with bug brat standing slightly to Gai’s side. Wait, did they rope Gai in on this too? Fucking hell.

Now, what kind of kikaichu is this, you wonder?

It explodes, and you can feel your leg break.

“FUCK!”

>>1826882
Well, shit. What to do now?

>Shunshin the fuck out of here. It’ll hurt like hell with your leg in its current condition, but what other choice do you have?

>Substitution with Gai. Whatever strike these brats aim next, it’ll hit him instead of you.

>This is probably a good time to start using the gates.

>>1826875
Eh, it's not worse but it's not better, either.

>>1826885
>>Substitution with Gai. Whatever strike these brats aim next, it’ll hit him instead of you.

>>1826885
>>This is probably a good time to start using the gates.

>>1826885
>This is probably a good time to start using the gates.

File: IMG_0851.jpg (45 KB, 343x432)

45 KB JPG

>>1826882
>Smart, but not smart enough. Even with your chakra draining, you are easily able to flex your arm muscles hard enough to instantaneously kill all of the kikaichu.
Nice

>>1826885
>Substitution with Gai. Whatever strike these brats aim next, it’ll hit him instead of you.

>>1826885
>Substitution with Gai. Whatever strike these brats aim next, it’ll hit him instead of you.

>>1826885
>>This is probably a good time to start using the gates.

Ya' know I just realized that every Jounin's got a cool name, but we don't.

Like, what's our title or nickname?

>>1826885
>>This is probably a good time to start using the gates.

>>1826885
Sub with Gai, we need to bully him some more and were not going to give them the satisfaction of opening a gate

>>1826897
The Old Bastard

>>1826885
>Substitution with Gai. Whatever strike these brats aim next, it’ll hit him instead of you.

>>1826897
Hates children sounds cool enough to me for a ninja.

>>1826885
>>Shunshin the fuck out of here. It’ll hurt like hell with your leg in its current condition, but what other choice do you have?

gai will be wary about substitution after that poor eagle piledriver and we don't want stamina loss against someone thats our equal.

>>1826897
The Babysitter, cause everybody in the village is a comedian.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Tie between Substitution and Gates. Rolling. 1=Sub 2=Gate

>>1826915
That's beautiful, I love it.

>>1826924
Nevermind I'm a retard sorry anons Substitution wins forgot to count >>1826902

>>1826915
Perfect.

Dam this old bastard is tought

Even in your present state, your speed is something to behold.

“Kawarimi no jutsu!”

Now, you’re standing where Gai was standing, and get a nice view of kikaichu crawling all over him before falling to your knees. Shit, that broken leg is going to be a hindrance, isn’t it? You turn your attention to the bug brat, who you now see is swiftly running away. Not on your watch. Who needs two legs, anyway?

You backflip on your one remaining good leg, landing on your muscular arms, and begin running with your makeshift ‘legs’ in the direction of the bug brat. Even if you have to use your arms, you’re still much faster than him, and use your remaining good leg to launch an upside-down dynamic entry at him, slamming into his back. Then, he dissipates into insects. Shit, another insect clone? You hate those things. Where is he, really?

You don’t have time to think, as a small red dog bites your shoulder, causing you to collapse back onto your back. The fuck? You don’t have much time to ponder that, though, as you can see Gai is already back up and readying a punch to your face. Not wanting your broken nose to break even further, you turn your head and just barely avoid the strike. Then, using all of the strength you can muster, you contort your shoulder in such a way to launch the dog into Gai’s face. With him distracted, you get back on your ‘feet’ and leap towards the oncoming Hyuuga girl.

Her gentle fist strike hits you square in the shoulder, but in return, you bite her own shoulder. You can feel the taste of iron in your mouth as blood flows from the wound. She recoils in pain, and you can even see her tearing up, byakugan deactivated from shock. Trying to capitalize on it, you use your remaining good leg to aim a kick at her head, but Gai’s already back on you, grappling your back and tossing you straight into Ten-whatever’s line of fire.

A swarm of kunai hit you in the back, and as you recoil in pain, you hear the cry of the dog-boy.

“TSUUGA!”

The spinning boy hits you right in our stomach, sending you flying even further. You feel your back crashing into a tree, breaking it on impact, then crashing into yet another tree which also breaks on impact. When your eyes open again, you can see Gai in front of you once more, fist aimed squarely at your face. You try a substitution, only to find out that your chakra is now too low to use it. Damn it, maybe if you hadn’t made that shadow clone earlier…

Well, too late now. Now it’s time to play dirty. Just as Gai’s fist slams into your chest, you spit into his eye. Fighting through the pain of your newly broken ribs, you headbutt him as he’s still disoriented. The force of your headbutt was enough to launch him into the air. With the genin still too far away to aid Gai, you have a brief window of time to think of a strategy.

>Naruto quest
>old coot bullyin people

this is a start of a beautiful story.

>>1826970
>Open the first gate, use Primary Lotus on him while’s he’s still in the air. It’s not ideal, because with all the strain you’ve put on your body you might actually need to go to the hospital yourself if you do this.

>You should still have enough chakra left for one shunshin. Time to beat it.

>Grab some explosive kunai from your pouch and throw them at Gai while he’s still in the air. Hopefully it’ll fuck him up good.

>>1826972
>>You should still have enough chakra left for one shunshin. Time to beat it.

Weren't we supposed to test the kids on something?

>>1826972
>>Grab some explosive kunai from your pouch and throw them at Gai while he’s still in the air. Hopefully it’ll fuck him up good.

>>1826972
>Open the first gate, use Primary Lotus on him while’s he’s still in the air. It’s not ideal, because with all the strain you’ve put on your body you might actually need to go to the hospital yourself if you do this.

can we open 2nd gate of healing?

>>1826977
railroaded to bullying

>>1826972
>>You should still have enough chakra left for one shunshin. Time to beat it.

>>1826972
>You should still have enough chakra left for one shunshin. Time to beat it.

>>1826982
Oh okay. That's fine. I guess. Maybe now we can not take on stupid genin and attempt to train them.

>>1826972
>Grab some explosive kunai from your pouch and throw them at Gai while he’s still in the air. Hopefully it’ll fuck him up good.

>>1826977
You are, but Shino realized that the target was actually you in disguise, so now they're trying to capture you. You still have a shadow clone wandering around in disguise, actually.

>>1826982
You can open all 8 gates, but if you go past the first you'll lose consciousness. You're not in good shape right now-low on stamina and chakra, broken leg and ribs, a shit ton of lacerations and a bit of internal bleeding+chakra burns from the explosion. You're still in fighting condition, but you are being pushed.

>>Grab some explosive kunai from your pouch and throw them at Gai while he’s still in the air. Hopefully it’ll fuck him up good

>>1826977
I don't understand why we're doing all this at all. Our character is acting like a huge retard

>>1826972
>>You should still have enough chakra left for one shunshin. Time to beat it.

Him running after bug boy on his hands made me giggle.

>>1826998
write-in always on?

>>1827005
too many blows to the head

>>1826972
>You should still have enough chakra left for one shunshin. Time to beat it.

Hmm, we probably should have just told the genin they passed and focused on gai

>>1827005
He's an old killer who hates kids put in charge of kids, so it's really the Hokage to blame.

>>1827005
Also this is good trainning both for us. Gai and the kids.

I fucking love that we bit hinata though

>>1827005
Yeah

>>1827010
To be fair, I gave anons the chance to shunshin away multiple times, but they wanted to keep fighting. Unless you mean the test in general, in which case it's because the anons selected the option to lead them on a wild goose chase across Konoha, and it's only now they've really managed to catch up with us.

>>1827044
Ah, the 'Yeah' was to write-ins, the 'To be fair' was for the guy asking why the protagonist is acting retarded. Oops.

>>1826972
>You should still have enough chakra left for one shunshin. Time to beat it.
Run into the woods eat a pill for more chakra do some quick ptach work onr our leg

>>1826972
>>You should still have enough chakra left for one shunshin. Time to beat it.

>>1827032
Isn't great! I love this old bastard. We will make Kiba and Hinata excellent Taijutsu masters.

>>1826977
>>1826989
>>1826991
>>1827006
>>1827014
>>1827048
>>1827049

Shunshin wins. It's time for an escape. Writing.

>>1827065
You don’t bother to announce the jutsu as you use it. Instead, you merely escape silently while Gai is distracted. You land in the next training ground, Training Ground 8. It occurs to you that this’ll end up being yours if you pass the brats. And you might, they’re not half bad in a fight.

That being said, you still hate them. Also, mostly because of your leg, you now hate the bug brat more than dog boy.

A rush of memories suddenly hits you. Your shadow clone finally dissipates, probably because of your current state of chakra exhaustion. Apparently the brats never bothered to track it, mostly because of the bug brat. Damn bugs. You never liked the Aburame or their freaky kikaichu. Hell, back in the war, you were once on a squad with one of them, and…wait, you should probably focus on escaping.

You backflip onto your arms, then proceed to hop on top of the nearest building. You’re not far away enough that they won’t find you soon, and if Gai specifically finds you, you’re probably toast. Even in your current state, you could probably single-handedly destroy all of the brats, but Gai is more than your match. At least you shattered his shoulder, that was nice.

Anyway, you need to think of a place to go. Now. You can’t go to your shitty apartment, because they know where it is and it’s pretty much wrecked. You can’t go to the hospital, because that’s where they’d expect you to go. No matter where you go, they’ll find you with the dog-boy’s nose eventually.

>You know what, just get to the rooftop of the Academy. It’s already starting to get late, and the test will be ending soon. Maybe it’ll be over by the time they get there, if you’re fast enough, and you can decide whether they pass or fail.

>Towards the Hokage monument. They’ll be able to follow you, but you can make them hesitate by holding the Hokage’s heads hostage. Fight on the top of the heads in such a way that, if they were to strike you, they would damage the monument. Gai especially should be vulnerable to this. And if anything happens, the Hokage can take it out of your paycheck.

>Fuck these brats. Head to the Forest of Death, that should slow them down a bit.

>>1827119
>You know what, just get to the rooftop of the Academy. It’s already starting to get late, and the test will be ending soon. Maybe it’ll be over by the time they get there, if you’re fast enough, and you can decide whether they pass or fail.

Can we put a splint into our leg or something? Also i bet Aburame is already at the school waiting.

>>1827119
>>Towards the Hokage monument. They’ll be able to follow you, but you can make them hesitate by holding the Hokage’s heads hostage. Fight on the top of the heads in such a way that, if they were to strike you, they would damage the monument. Gai especially should be vulnerable to this. And if anything happens, the Hokage can take it out of your paycheck.

http://alexanderlozada.com/iasip/?IlRoZSBHdXkgV2hvIEhhdGVzIENoaWxkcmVuIElzIFB1dCBJbiBDaGFyZ2UgT2YgVGVhY2hpbmcgQ2hpbGRyZW4gSG93IFRvIEJlIE5pbmphcyI=

>>1827119
>>You know what, just get to the rooftop of the Academy. It’s already starting to get late, and the test will be ending soon. Maybe it’ll be over by the time they get there, if you’re fast enough, and you can decide whether they pass or fail.
Grab some soda or something along the way, that's what kids like these days right?

Fuck it, just get some water.

>>1827119
>>You know what, just get to the rooftop of the Academy. It’s already starting to get late, and the test will be ending soon. Maybe it’ll be over by the time they get there, if you’re fast enough, and you can decide whether they pass or fail.

time to end this

>>1827119
>You know what, just get to the rooftop of the Academy. It’s already starting to get late, and the test will be ending soon. Maybe it’ll be over by the time they get there, if you’re fast enough, and you can decide whether they pass or fail.

>>1827119
>>You know what, just get to the rooftop of the Academy. It’s already starting to get late, and the test will be ending soon. Maybe it’ll be over by the time they get there, if you’re fast enough, and you can decide whether they pass or fail.

I think we have already fulfilled today's asshole bastard quota. Gotta end this and fix what is broken

>>1827119
>You know what, just get to the rooftop of the Academy. It’s already starting to get late, and the test will be ending soon. Maybe it’ll be over by the time they get there, if you’re fast enough, and you can decide whether they pass or fail.

Gotta keep up with schedule

>>1827131
>>1827136
>>1827140
>>1827143
>>1827144
>>1827147

Alright, to the Academy it is. Writing.

We also need to come up with a list of pros and cons for the kids based on what we saw today.

>「Pros」
>Didn't die

>「Cons」
>Everything else

>>1827156
The Hyuuga

>「Pros」
>Didn't die
>Knows how a ninja should attack
>Has a descent base for Taijutsu


>「Cons」
>Inexperient
>She needs to grow some balls. Just a little bite and she lost concetration.
>She didn't developed how to take hits she is to afraid to hurt or to be hurt

>>1827156
>Pros
Didn't die
Used teamwork
Took advantage of our fight with Gai

>Cons
Girl's too timid
Dog boy is an annoying faggot
Bug boy is a creep
Boy Dog can't take a kick
Bug Boy blew up my fucking apartment you little shit!
Gai's a sperg (I know he's not in our test I'm just stating the obvious)
The Third is either senile or a fucking masterclass troll for making us a teacher
Dog Boy is an annoying faggot

>>1827119

>You know what, just get to the rooftop of the Academy. It’s already starting to get late, and the test will be ending soon. Maybe it’ll be over by the time they get there, if you’re fast enough, and you can decide whether they pass or fail.

>>1827180
Bug boys
>pros
>had a plan
>was smart enough to use clones
>take advantage of our fight
>cons
>Plan fell apart immeidatly after the first step failed
>didn't have a back up plan incase first plan failed
>blew our apartment up

When did their task become trying to take us down?

>>1827196
Well i guess this could count as a evaluation of then as a team.

>>1827239
When they realized we were the target. Their mission was to track the target and capture it.

>>1827154
Right, to the Academy, then. You really can’t wait to give the brats their post-test scolding, especially after how they’ve managed to damage you. You also admit that you want to ask them a few questions. Namely, how the fuck did they get Gai and his genin girl to help them? You assume Gai must have been pissed at you, and they must have encountered him somehow. Maybe they brought Akamaru or bug brat to the hospital? It also occurs to you that the only one whose name you can remember is Akamaru. Maybe you should learn their names at some point, if they pass.

Given the strength of your arms, your travel speed is nearly unaffected by your broken leg. Hopping along the rooftops heavily injured and on your palms gets you a few stares from passing shinobi. Fucking brats, didn’t they ever learn not to stare? That wouldn’t have been allowed back in your day. When you were a genin, it was still considered okay to kill someone for insulting your honor. Well, I mean, as long as they were an enemy ninja, but still.

When you arrive at the Academy rooftop, your genin brats are already there. On Gai’s shoulders, no less. He’s smiling. Damn it.

“Kirai-san! I believe it is time to pass your youthful students!”

“I decide whether or not they pass, Gai, not you.”

He just keeps smiling.

“Alright, look, just put them down and let me talk to them.”

He does just that, and you take a moment to examine your genin. They’re all breathing heavily, clearly exhausted. The bug brat in particular appears to be in a state of severe chakra exhaustion, and you have no doubt that a significant percentage of his hive was killed during this test. The bite on the Hyuuga girl’s shoulder bleeds continuously, so it’s a good thing it wasn’t very deep. You reflect that it was likely her shock at being bitten, rather than the bite itself, which affected her the most. Her jacket is in tatters, with lacerations from Ten-whatever’s weapons all over her body. The dog and the dog boy are looking outwardly fine, but you know for a fact that the latter likely has quite a few broken bones. It’s also possible that the bug brat and the dog have concussions, since you did knock both of them unconscious.

Overall, you think you did a good job of beating the shit out of them without actually killing them. Hopefully the brats take being a ninja more seriously now because of it. Anyway, as for their performance.

“Technically speaking, you should not pass. The target I requested you capture is not here. However, I will examine your individual performances in more detail. Starting with you, Aburame."

>>1827309
From the very beginning, you were overconfident and unwilling to trust your teammates. This led you to believe that you could attempt to handle me on your own, which failed spectacularly, and would have still failed had you already fled the scene by the time I entered my apartment. If you had informed your teammates of your suspicions, you would have had a great deal more options. Instead, you kept the information to yourself until after you had been encountered and defeated by me. Perhaps they could have made a more effective trap, or otherwise had knowledge or abilities that could have made your initial investigation easier. Furthermore, it was you that made the decision to split up, right? If you believed that I was the target, then you should have realized that allowing one of your teammates to attempt to capture me, a jounin, single-handedly was probably not a good idea, especially given that they would be unaware of the fact that the target was a jounin-level ninja. In the real world, that could result in the death or maiming of your teammate. I know that you know each other from your time in the Academy. Wouldn’t you be concerned for the health of your teammates? Additionally, it made absolutely no sense not to return to your teammates with the information that I was the target was you confirmed that was the case. Once again, that could have helped you create a more effective trap, instead of having to create the entire thing on your own, or even just get a second opinion on what the next course of action should have been. Because of this, I was able to knock you unconscious, and if I were an enemy shinobi, you would be dead. Overall, your performance was lackluster and you should be ashamed of yourself for overestimating your own abilities and underestimating mine. The key for any shinobi is to underestimate yourself and overestimate your enemy. Furthermore, teamwork is the cornerstone of this village, and, in a large part due to your activity, you and your teammates were completely unable to work together or even communicate for the majority of the test. Now, Inuzuka.

>>1827314
"Frankly, I think you’re a childish idiot with absolutely no sense. First of all, you antagonized me, your jounin instructor, since before the test even began. Then, when Aburame suggested you split up, you decided it would be a good decision to part with your nin-dog. Never, under any circumstance, part with your nin-dog. I know he’s not as physically connected to you as Aburame and his kikaichu are, but you should still be as reluctant to part with Akamaru as he is to part with his hive. The strength of the Inuzuka is their teamwork with their nin-dogs, and by separating yourself from yours, you would have been in serious trouble if you were unable to capture the target alone. And as you are probably now aware, you would have been unable to capture the target alone. As someone whose entire clan relies heavily on teamwork, you should have objected when Aburame even dared to suggest such a half-baked idea as splitting up. You should be ashamed of yourself for your idiocy. Now, Akamaru.

Don’t think you are going to escape my rant either just because you’re a dog, because you were assigned to me too. When you encountered the target, you saw her take out a grown man with nothing but a forehead poke. Instead of regrouping with Inuzuka to inform him of this, you decided to take on a potentially very powerful ninja alone, with no back-up, and no way to communicate with your teammates if things went wrong. The target, who was of course actually me, was able to effortlessly knock you out. In real life, I would have been an enemy shinobi, and you would be dead right now. You should be ashamed of yourself for your rashness. Finally, Hyuuga."

>>1827314
Oh boy this is way to good.

>>1827324
"Despite being a trained ninja, you made a rookie mistake when applying your transformation. You activated the byakugan after the transformation, causing it to show through the transformation, when it wouldn’t have had you activated it first. You continued to pursue the target with your byakugan active, at a rate that indicated that you were a shinobi and not a civilian, with your posture adjusted in such a way that made it clear you were used to walking like a girl. And, of course, because you had the byakugan activated when you didn’t need to have it activated, you were wasting chakra during your entire pursuit. Furthermore, you being flustered in the red light district prompted you to attempt to physically assault the target in broad daylight and in the middle of a crowded area. Additionally, when we fought later, your shock at being bitten was enough to paralyze you, preventing you from continuing to strike, even though the injury was actually not very serious. Overall, you should be ashamed for your total inability to stealthily pursue a target and your timidity in combat.”

They glare at you.

“But you did do some good things, I’ll admit that. Aburame’s deductive skills were excellent, and coordinating with Gai and that Ten-whatever girl for a combined assault was brutally effective. I don’t know how you convinced them to aid you, but you all performed well in that last battle. And since I didn’t specify you couldn’t seek out other Konoha shinobi for aid, I’ll let it slide. There’s more stuff, but I figure we’ll go more in depth about that when you know if you’ve passed. So, to put it bluntly, you…”

>Pass. Take them on as your genin team.

>Fail. But you won’t send them back to the Academy, they have to much potential for that. Inform the Hokage that they passed, but instead give them unofficial remedial training to correct their flaws.

>Fail. This will likely get you in trouble with the clan heads that are there parents, not to mention Gai who is still standing off to side, but fuck it, you hate these brats. To the Academy remedial course they go.

>>1827324
Dude's got the nerve to chew out a fucking puppy. This quest is going places.

>>1827332
>Fail. But you won’t send them back to the Academy, they have to much potential for that. Inform the Hokage that they passed, but instead give them unofficial remedial training to correct their flaws.

>>1827332
>>Pass. Take them on as your genin team.
It's too damn tiresome to keep this up. Plus we broke a lot of bones today. Just let them pass and maybe their clans won't chew our ass out.

And Gai will complain if we don't.

>>1827332
>Pass. Take them on as your genin team.
But I'm going to force a special Kirai remedial training on the .

>>1827332

>Fail. But you won’t send them back to the Academy, they have to much potential for that. Inform the Hokage that they passed, but instead give them unofficial remedial training to correct their flaws.

They need our "loving" assistance

>>1827332
>>Pass. Take them on as your genin team.

>>1827332
>Pass. Take them on as your genin team.

>>1827332
>Pass. Take them on as your genin team.

They did pass....technically.
How bad will it be if we take the shika-ino-cho?

>>1827332
>>Fail. This will likely get you in trouble with the clan heads that are there parents, not to mention Gai who is still standing off to side, but fuck it, you hate these brats. To the Academy remedial course they go.

>>1827332
>Pass. Take them on as your genin team.

Welcome to hell boys, girl and dog.

>>1827332
>Fail. But you won’t send them back to the Academy, they have to much potential for that. Inform the Hokage that they passed, but instead give them unofficial remedial training to correct their flaws.
I want a cool team. Like Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon.

>>1827332
>Pass. Take them on as your genin team.

Failing them seems like even more of a hassle.

>Fail. But you won’t send them back to the Academy, they have to much potential for that. Inform the Hokage that they passed, but instead give them unofficial remedial training to correct their flaws.

>>1827332
>>Pass. Take them on as your genin team.

"But remember, this was me going easy on you. When the real training starts, you'll wish I failed you here and now."

Then laugh like the child hating bastard we are.

>>1827332
>Pass. Take them on as your genin team.

>>1827332
this >>1827361

File: 1973848_orig[1].png (238 KB, 622x800)

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Alright so a list of things that we need to focus on with these brats.

>Improve their Taijutsu, Hinata and Kiba will be easy since they already use it often enough, but bug boy will be difficult. Maybe consider showing him some styles based around insects, like Mantis style or something.
>Teach Hinata about the 8 gates, that should be fun.
>See if we can figure out the kids Chakra Nature. Especially Kiba and his mutt. Can dogs even have Chakra Natures?
>Train in the Forest of Death. If they can get used to it now it'll make the Chuunin exams easier.

>>1827332
>Pass. But I'm going to beat these lessons into you with my bare hands if I have to. I'm not gonna have my genin team get themselves killed with rookie bullshit like this.

File: animal chakra.png (1.24 MB, 1600x900)

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>>1827382
>Can dogs even have Chakra Natures?
Animals have chakra, and Inazuka dogs can use it, so it's possible.