Well we are on our way with Kali to meet Markal the best commander we know and go drinking with him because fuck it it's been way too long.Though there is the small question on why he is here, last time we talked to him he was stationed on the Ordo's HQ and was not supposed to leave.Then there is the problem of this planet being on lockdown since it seems that the cult was not an isolated cell and shit went to hell when you knocked out from using the Big E's power to obliterate a demon and everything behind it.On top of that Thera is back and we have no contact with Mirasi or Terisa. We also still have the mystery of who is the traitor on our ship.Eh that can wait because the power of alcohol.Welcome to Guardsman Quest
alright quick and dirty, this quest is not for die hard lovers of cannon since fun and shenanigans beat cannon for the most part. Though I will accept info about the warhammer 40k universe general rule of thumb is fun is king hereHere is the link to the Doc archive https://docs.google.com/document/d/1N6DV3ou3h5MO0TZi61pc9jGoMBA4p3S4fJ0rCI6qooM/edit?usp=sharinghere is a link to the character's stats https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1VEdRRmqRN2wb661ea1Bz2iXQwqQl2JVgl1OdrmHk3Tk/edit?usp=sharing
You decide you are going to surprise the old bastard, with drinks and witty comments because fuck it. you turn towards Kali and smile "Well do you know the easiest way to get into the building undetected?""why are you asking me a stupid question?""because I want to surprise Markal.""you know that may get you shot.""it will be worth it I assure you."Kali sighs and shakes her head "you are absolutely insane you know that?""well than you work for a madman so get used to it.""Fine, fine you win this one. easiest way is though the front door since all other entrances are monitored at all times. Just use a hood or something."you nod and exit the vehicle and head inside, as you enter your a greeted by a less than enthusiastic guardsman "hello who are you.""Inquisitor Simun."the man immediately straightens up "S-SIR!""calm down soldier, I'm here to see Inquisitor Markal now I want you to lead me to him but do not alert him. This meeting must not be recorded for inquisition reasons.""s-sir?""Do not question me.""I'm now but I am under direct orders from Inquisitor Markal to alert him, and I already sent the message."Son of a bitch "Alright but turn off the cameras.""yes sir."you and the guardsman head out of the room and down the hall, behind his back you do grab two glasses and a bottle of whisky.as you arrive at the room Markal is in the guardsman bows and leaves. you crack your neck and enter. As you do suddenly you are pulled into a bear hug."GOOD TO SEE YOU SIMUN!"> offer the drinks, stat.> BEAR HUG HIM BACK!> remain as you are until he releases you, then question time. why is he here and where is Valirsa because hell will come if she finds out that you are not actually Sasha.> write-in
>>1815783> BEAR HUG HIM BACK!
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>1815783>Rolling for awkwardness check
Alright we got the last vote, also awkwardness check was appreciated. writing.
Not skipping a beat you bear hug the man back "MARKAL YOU OLD BASTARD HOW HAVE YOU BEEN!"it takes a few minutes but eventually you both disengage from the bear hug and sit down. you pour two glasses of whisky and hand one to Markal who downs it and motions for another "Well Simun I actually have been rather busy lately, Inquisition has caught wind of something big recently and I was sent here to inform you that they are rather impressed you killed off two cult bases in such a short time.""had to blow up a planet for one of them though.""Sacrifices must be made for the imperium, I saw the reports it was the right call.""does not make it feel any better."'anyways I did also receive some information on your..... expression of power recently.""and?""the ordo wants to know exactly what is going on with you, first off you kill more cult bases in a mere month and more demons in that time than most inquisitors do in a year. Then we find out that you are expressing powers similar to a psyker when you had not prior psyker powers. Not only that but we also destroyed half a hab block with it."right..... shit that kinda was kinda really flashy. shit.Markal shakes his head "on top of that you have assembled several xenos to your crew. Some of the hidden masters are starting to think that you may have heretical tenancies and yes I know they gave you the go ahead on doing anything you needed to do but you must understand we cannot allow flat out heresy to be done in the ordo's name."> tell Markal the truth about what is happening, the clown the emperor and also the prophesy that you have been given> tell Markal most of the truth, just the non heretical stuff because we dont want to be put in hot water (fel)> make something up, say something about maybe fate is just spurring you on to do these things. Maybe the emperor is guiding you to destroy these cults. (felx2)> write-in
>>1820417>What's the point of kinda sorta serving the laughing god if we cant even hornswoggle our way out of an interrogation being performed by a drunk friend?
>>1820417> tell Markal most of the truth, just the non heretical stuff because we don't want to be put in hot water (fel)But honestly, I don't put stock in "maybes" and "could be's" no, no. I'm going to get us results. Clown should have our back lest he wants us gone.
>>1823100>> write-in>>1820417>sorry changing.Markal...you wouldn't believe me if I told you....only because I pretty much find it hard to believe myself, I almost don't.Pour another drink for us both and skull it....The emperor saved me from that deamon....yeah i know...was fighting in the dark, it got a few lucky hits in *rub wounded area* then as im planting a charge to try to fuck I felt a power in me, it didn't so much speak but i felt to had to slay it I turned to face the deamon and screamed in the Emperors name and next thing i know lots and lots of light....then i came too outside.
Rolled 1 (1d2)alright late night update, I will be on tomorrow to continue but for now RNGesus roll off 1 for >>1820453 and 2 for >>1823114
well after the fel roll 1d100 vs 30
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>1825938>night update>tfw its 9am here>>1825952Rollan
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>1825952
got 5 more minutes for another roll before it is a fail
>>1826042Umm i already rolled a 25 which is lower than 30 so how is this a fail?
oh shit, just saw that, writing then going to sleep
You lean back, you have been around that fucking clown long enough to pick up some tricks. Hell you held a poker face in front of a chaos god when another god cheated for you. this is no problem."alright so I all honesty dont know where my luck comes from most of the time.""you're not making me feel more confident you know that.""But I choose to believe it is the emperor guiding me though these times. He may not be calling me directly but I feel his will for me to strike down his enemies and I follow that feeling.""and the Xenos?" Markal asks eyebrow raised, you pour him and yourself another drink"a revelation led me there, I saw a great ship besieged by darkness and two wayward stars inside calling out for help as I watched a golden two headed eagle swooped down and pulled the two stars from the ship, I believe that he intended for me to gather together enemies of chaos so that we may strike them down with the full fury of not just the imperium but also the other forces of the materium. We cannot allow allies and weapons to be disregarded just because of origin. The end of chaos is what concerns me and that is also what concerns our Ordo. Do you not agree?"Markal sits there for a bit contemplating what you said "interesting, extremely interesting." he takes a long slow drink before putting the glass down "why have you not reported the revelations to the Ordo heads before this?""I saw no reason to report the emperor's will instead of carrying it out.""and now the big question, where the hell did you get the power to shoot pure golden psychic energy from your body.""I don't know, but I do know it is not from chaos. The emperor must be looking out for me and must have some plans that I am needed for."Markal nods as you hear the door open and Markal whips out a bolter "State your name before I blow your brains all over the wall."you turn around and see, much to your displeasure, Thera in her human form wearing a guardsman uniform "G-Guardsman T-Thera!" she stammers and salutes before seeing you, her expression does not change.> bolt her now, explain to Markal later that this girl is a demon and has constantly annoyed your ass (bs)> pull out your gun, time to capture and interrogate a demon, if you remember you do have special cells that cut psykers and demons off from the warp (bs, ag, fel)> do not react and play along, lets see what she tries before ruining her plan> write-in
>>1826069>I kinda feel like this is what she wants but i looove dice and rng so fuck it.
>>1826069> pull out your gun, time to capture and interrogate a demon, if you remember you do have special cells that cut psykers and demons off from the warp (bs, ag, fel)
>>1826069> pull out your gun, time to capture and interrogate a demon, if you remember you do have special cells that cut psykers and demons off from the warp (bs, ag, fel)Start yelling into the Comms "CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW THIS EMPEROR DAMN BLUE BIRD KEEPS GETTING ON BOARD MY SHIP"seems bolting her repetitively has not worked time for the cells instead.
Alright give me a 3d100 vs 75, 57, 25
Rolled 81, 87, 15 = 183 (3d100)>>1826570
>>1826583If my roll is anything to go by then we drop the gun, trip on your shoe laces and she's laughing so much she spills the beans. Just as planned
Rolled 38, 87, 58 = 183 (3d100)>>1826570
alright one success two fails, writing.
You pull out your bolter and point it at the demon pretending to be human "Ah good to see you again Thera, was that little trip I sent you on not enough to tell you to leave me the fuck alone?""I have no idea what you are talking about Inquisitor, I have been stationed here for three months and I have only see you today."Thankfully Markal does not buy her bluff as he flicks the safety off "I never saw your name in the records."Thera lets the facade drop as her usual robes replace the guardsman uniform, her skin once more takes the blue color you are used to, her blue and gold hair lengthens out into a long braid, two massive wings sprout from her back, and her arms and legs become bird like once more. "seriously I just wanted a social visit.""Alright I'm done with just killing you and waiting for you to come back, Markal assist me in capturing this demon."Markal nods and pulls out a energy sword "I'll remove her limbs, you take what is left to your ship."before either of us can move Thera smiles and kicks back launching herself out of the room "Sorry but I don't exactly agree with that plan." she swiftly spins and sprints down the halls.you give chase after the demon, she had escaped too many times and you are not about to let her escape again.you chase her around the building firing several shots at her, you note some hit her but not enough to take her down. as you exit the building Thera disappears, that bitch.you look around and spot a imperial sanctioned psyker and run up to him "psyker I need you to help me with a problem.""I am sorry sir I cannot, I have been assigned to protect this area from chaos and it requires all of my attention.""there was a demon who just was in here, I need you to track her."The psyker closes his eyes and concentrates for a second "I sense nothing Inquisitor, the demon must have retreated to the warp."Shit, she got away again.> find Mirasi the Terisa we need demon experts on this case, maybe we can force her to come to us.> go back to markal, he probably has questions on why a demon knows your name and seems to think it's on friendly terms with you> start your own search, that fucking demon can't have gone far from this spot> write-in
>>1826708> go back to markal, he probably has questions on why a demon knows your name and seems to think it's on friendly terms with you
votes have been cast, writing.
You holster your bolter and head back inside the building, as you walk back you wince as the scars tingle on your arm. you enter the room where you see Markal sitting at a desk looking at you with suspicion in his eyesbefore you can begin he cuts you off "Who was that.""That thing that I chased out is a problem sir.""I know that, I mean why did it know your name and why did it act like you and it had a history.""we have one sir, one where I am constantly killing it and sending it back to the warp and it coming back for more like a masochist.""and the reason for wanting to capture it?""my ship has special cells that cut demons off from the warp allowing us to interrogate them.""not exactly buying the idea that you have never worked with the thing, I checked the records and I saw several visits to your room by this 'thera' do you care to explain?""I never requested the visits sir, the demon is a greater demon of Tzeentch and therefore has the ability to blend into the population as well as several other rather annoying powers that come with those bird bastards.""tell me what was your first contact with this demon.""imperial guard sir, she pretended to be part of my unit to help sabotage our efforts."Markal nods and begins going through records on the device in front of him "lets see, aside from you there is only one survivor from that squad...... Kali. Do you know where this squad member is?""outside, I have recruited her into my crew to keep an eye on her so that I may remove her if corruption appears.""very well then, Inquisitor SImun by the authority vested in me by the Ordo I clear you of charges of heresy and have found you pure to the emperor. You may continue as you have but in further events you must contact the Ordo.""yes sir.""also Simun.""yes.""Valrisa is right behind you."> DUCK FOR FUCKING COVER (agx2)> turn around calmly and say hello to Valrisa, hopefully she wont go berserk on your ass (felx2)> dont turn around, if you can't see it then it cannot hurt you. Right?> write-in
>>1827808>> write-inSpeak to an Auto recorder. "Inquisitors log, local date whatever it is. My loyal crew, my dear friends. If your hearing this then the worst has come to pass and not only have i been killed there is likely precious little of me remaining for a funeral..." then begin listing things we'll give to people until we're knocked or told to stop.
>>1827850SecondingAlso why is valrisa mad i forgot
she is mad because 1. we tricked her into thinking we were Markal's niece 2. ruined her dress 3. found out her little secret about her tastes in dresses 4. she just does not like guys. writing
you reach into your pocket and pull out an auto recorder and begin "Inquisitors log, local date... fuck it I don't know. My loyal crew, my dear friends. If your hearing this then the worst has come to pass and not only have i been killed there is likely precious little of me remaining for a funeral. As my last will and testament I wish for my sniper and bolter to be given to Mirasi, my armor modified and given to Terisa, the two blades I have in my possession to be buried with me...""Simun shut up before I break your jaw and save the sound world the pain of hearing your voice." Valrisa states cutting you off before pushing you into the room.you spin around only to receive a boot into your gut "That is for the dress." then a fist to the face "and that is for lying to me." the punch knocks you on your ass."anything else you crazy bitch." you ask rubbing your face "I just got out of the hospital you know.""you think I give a shit, you fucking lied to me and then.... well you fucking lied to me!""AND?""well, damn I did not think past this point.""right." you get up and continue rubbing your face "next time dont punch me or I will hit back."you exit the room and close the door.> head over to Kali and get your squad together, time to see if we can get more leads on heresy on this planet.> leave and go to the local bar, you need a fucking drink.> vox up Phe'nia, we have yet to hear from her in a while.> write-in
>>1828678>> write-inBooze and an Ice Pack please. Anyone who wants to come can... that even includes you ya crazy cunt. we've got some catching up to do
>>1828859SecondingAlso is Simun still a girl?
simun is a girl, we have yet to actually fix that. writing.
you open the door and poke your head back in "Booze and an Ice Pack please. Anyone who wants to come can... that even includes you ya crazy cunt. we've got some catching up to do""HAY!" Valrisa yells at you as Markal hands you a cold compress as well as the bottle of whisky."alright Valrisa go with him, I have some other pieces of paperwork I need to sort through." Markal groans and sits back down.you and Valrisa head out to Kali who nods at you "who is this?"before you can respond Valrisa cuts you off "A sane person forced to deal with a insane world and a person who apparently can switch genders at fucking will.""I'm stuck this way for emperor knows how long." you respond getting into the vehicle, both of them follow "and you are not sane and you have yet to even understand how insane this world is. First off some dark eldar thinks I'm her prey and has yet to show up again so I am getting a little paranoid about it, I have a demon who thinks I'm her friend and wont leave me alone, I have a traitor on my crew and I don't know who, AND I have two more cults I need to crush after this place and I doubt they are just going to sit on their hands and wait for me to kill them."Valrisa looks at you in complete horror "Not even Markal had to deal with at shit, my the emperor's rotting testicles are you the sole focus of the warp at this point?""maybe but we have work to do."> find your squad, lets go and kill some heresy to relax> call up Phe'nia see what new info she has for us, maybe check to see if she has any more info on who may be the traitor.> start driving, something will happen if we drive for long enough.> write-in
>>1831522> call up Phe'nia see what new info she has for us, maybe check to see if she has any more info on who may be the traitor.Locate traitor
where everyone go?
no idea, still waiting.
>>1831522>Damnit soup just write already or at least tell people to vote on discord if you're that adamant on needing more votes
well we got the vote so writing.
you pull out your vox and open up a secure comm to your ship "Inquisitor Simun, I request contact with Phe'nia."static comes from the vox for a second before Phe'nia's voice rings though and boy was she angry "SIMUN YOU FUCKING IDIOT WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!"you pull the vox away from your ear wincing before bringing it back "Glad to hear you are still lively as ever.""DONT YOU TRY TO GET OUT OF THIS BY FLATTERY! WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST USE YOU KNOW WHAT AND NEARLY KILLED YOURSELF!""Well split second decisions had to be made and it was the best option.""WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'BEST OPTION' YOU BLEW UP A FUCKING HAB BLOCK!""not all of it." you hear Phe'nia groan though the vox in annoyance"Seriously what in Kaela Mensha Khaine's name were you fucking thinking, you just painted one of the biggest targets on you with that level of warp signature.""hay the warp was already after me so what does a bigger target even do?""Three words, more chaos gods.""oh shit.""ya, with the signature you left I doubt even Nurgle will leave you alone after this.""and that means-" you start before Phe'nia completes your sentance"more demons, a lot more demons. And not only that but I have been receiving some strange messages directed at you.""like?""something about someone calling you their pet and going to come for you soon, also about two hours ago I got a message from Farseer Ulthran.""don't know em don't care, got any info on the traitor?""some but it is spread out, Mirasi's books look like something a heretic would keep with them. They definitely are not sister of battle standard items. Terisa also is a suspect since she is the only other psyker here and would have sufficient power to summon a demon. Drague is still a suspect since that machine I saw earlier does not look like sanctioned imperial tech. Finally we have the captain of the ship that we took over, he has been oddly silent as of late and we have yet to actually check over his ship.""so everyone is a suspect.""without any more information, yes.""great, that is all.""WAIT!"> hang up, that is all you wanted time to drive and find your missing squad mates> hang up, time to get to work and see if you can get any info on the current cult activities in the city that you can ruin. (fel, per)> hang up, time to talk to the planetary governor and find out why she let a cult grow to this strength. seriously can these governors do anything right?> stay on the line, she may have something important to tell us.> write-in
>>1847564> stay on the line, she may have something important to tell us.Yeah wassup?
alright vote is though, writing.
"alright Phe'nia you have my attention, what is it?""the farseer I told you about.... he wanted to meet you personally.""and tell me why should I care what an eldar wants, no offense.""because he is Ulthran, as in Eldrad Ulthran, the strongest Eldar psyker in existence. He can rip a god damned titan in half if he really wanted too.""so, I take it if he has directly addressed me then blowing him off for too long will lead to complications."You hear Phe'nia sigh again "I have never met him in person but there are stories.""how bad""he infected a planet with a slow-spreading gingivitis bacteria that will fester in the new race and slowly spread amongst their entire species, then a fuck ton of time later Tyrranids came and ate the planet. since the nids did not have any medicine to stop the spread the nids got infected. The pain was so great that the entire fleet stopped eating and then starved. the fleet's destination was Craftworld Ulthwé.""either this guy is the greatest strategist I have ever heard of or he is a complete dick.""both.""well damn, what was in the message?""Meet me at Craftworld Ulthwé within the next three human months or I will personally mail you a black hole. With the greatest regards, Farseer Ulthran. P.S. I have a lot of black holes I stole from Vect so do not be late.""by the emperor what is it with everyone who wants to meet me being some big shot with a lot of guns and/or psyker powers.""guess that is what happens when you have a piece of your emperor inside you.""is that all" you begin rubbing your temples great now you have a time limit or you get a really powerful and pissed off Eldar on your heels with black holes."that is all." you cut the vox channel and hold your head"why the fuck is this happening to me, I was a simple guardsman before all this. WHY!?""you alright?" Kali asks looking at the road as the vehicle begins to move"no but kicking this cult back to the warp should help."> find squad mates now, we need numbers and info on how to crush these assholes> time to get to work and see if you can get any info on the current cult activities in the city that you can ruin. (fel, per)> time to talk to the planetary governor and find out why she let a cult grow to this strength. seriously can these governors do anything right?> write-in
>>1847831We're gonna do this angry inquisitor mode now we're pissed>4 combo mode> time to talk to the planetary governor and find out why she let a cult grow to this strength. seriously can these governors do anything right?If this even gets close to 10% what it was i'm blowing up your plant, you attempt to flee I will have the Ordo hunt you down and leave you to the interrogators, if you hide on a planet ill crack it under your very feet for hiding you. I have agents on the world as you can guess some among the cultists if you are found to be aiding them, you die. If you are turning a blind eye? You die. Otherwise give me reason to believe you are not giving 110% to purge them quickly, what happens? You guessed it, you die!> find squad mates now, we need numbers and info on how to crush these assholesGather than main people whom are suspected traitors, hello everyone there is a traitor among us and as such i've decided we're going to work in threes so that no one is ever actually alone and if the traitor tries to fuck any of you you can gang up on them. Considering my other plan was to just unleash the Eversor in stasis I figure this is a fair compromise. Equally if anyone has anything they want to get off their chest before I have the Eldar here read your mind please feel free to share with the class.>Angry Guardsman.png