>>1799716
>Try to ambush the mage...

You of course begin to make plans to ambush the mage.

Roll me a 1d20+7 for how well you can find a hiding place to ambush at.

+2 for thoughts on where might be a good location.

Rolled 8 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1800141

Rolled 14 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1800141

Rolled 12 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1800141

14+7=21

You of course, decide to hide in the attic, and track him silently and find a perfect time to ambush him...

Just curious...

Human or Gel Wolf?

>Human
>Gelatinious Form

>>1801856
>Gelatinious Form

Gelatinious Form it is.

Roll me a 1d100 by the way, anons.

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>1802738

60

Claw of course, launches a super sneaky surprise attack on the mage from the attic, which is simply him purposely seeping from the boards and trying to engulf the mage...

...One minute, the mage is entirely engulfed, and the next, the mage is ten feet away, entirely unaffected by this...

Damn. You'll need to be faster, somehow...

The mage seems to get ready to cast a fireball at Claw, who's currently stuck in a weird mix of both the attic, and his own room, thanks to his large size...

What do?

>...Attempt to bring the rest of the mass in the basement down ontop of the mage's head.
>Attempt to dodge!
>Attempt to lunge and attack fast!
>Flee!
>Write-in

>>1802757
>...Attempt to bring the rest of the mass in the basement down ontop of the mage's head.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see how well this goes.

+2 for distracting the mage.

Rolled 13 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1802795
Take about completely unrelated stuff like what his favorite tabletop is

Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1802795

>>1802795
Make very uncomfertable questios like how horses shit without getting it on them self or if worms have two anuses or two mouths so they eather puke out shit or eat with there asses also if worms give birth with both holes does it puke and eat with a mouth/anus/virgina? Questions like that but more detailed and rambling

>>1803774
one more uncomfortable question "if i am made from slime and i ejaculate slime does that mean i am made from cum?"

>>1803779
>>1803774
do i get the +2 bonus or more?i have alot of uncomfortable questions people will never want the answer of so i think i would make a good Claw

Rolled 9 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1802795

>>1803774
>>1803779
>>1803785
>>1803788
Do you have autism, because that's what it looks like.

>>1803774
Never fucking post in my quest again, everything you do will be fucking entirely ignored from now on, while I fucking consider killing myself.

13+5=18

You don't really come up with an idea on how to distract the mage, mostly because there's no reason you'd be talking about tabletop to someone who's trying to kill you.

However, you manage to transfer your weight to the attic above, collapsing the flooring above the mage...

Roll me a 1d60 anons.

Rolled 27 (1d60)

>>1804343

Rolled 8 (1d60)

>>1804343

27

You bring the rest of your mass down, but the mage vanishes again with his time warpery bullshit...

And throws a fireball right at you, hitting you with ease.

Claw has lost 1000 HP!

He has 6500 left!

The mage prepares to cast another fireball!

What do?

>Attack!
>Attempt to dodge!
>Flee!
>Write-in

>>1804872
>>1804872
>Attempt to dodge!

>>1803774
>>1803779
>>1803785

1. They have a flap of tissue at the end of their (not there, their) anus that works as a kind of wiper to prevent it from sticking to them.
2. Worms, from annelid worms to flatworms to helminths and flukes and every god-forsaken worm in between, has one mouth at the anterior section of the body, and one anus at the posterior section of the body. If you cut one in half, the head section MIGHT regrow and heal itself, if its lucky, the anus section just dies in horrible agony. More than likely, both ends die of shock, because they were just violently dismembered. Worms do not puke, and in many species, do not even have a mouth used for eating, instead absorbing nutrients through their environment (like almost every parasitic worm).
3. Worms don't 'give birth', they lay eggs. Worms like tapeworms tend to break off sections of themselves, called proglottids, which are full of ripened, mature eggs to be passed in the infected person's stool to keep the infection chain going. Worms also tend to be hermaphroditic in nature, having a male and a female pore they mate through, with fertilized eggs in most species being passed through the female pore. The female pore is NOT a virgina, a vagina, or any else remotely similar.

Honestly, I thought few things could be worse than the furry porn you posted a couple threads back. I had really hoped that you and people like you would simply leave once we got rid of Liz's fetish assets, since a number of your earlier posts were clearly you using it as spank material (you'd only post during lewd scenes, or scenes that had the potential to become lewd scenes, and posted in a manner that made it quite obvious you have a fat fetish) but it appears I was wrong. So let me clear. Your posts make you seem like an early-teenager just discovering his nascent sexuality, instead of a basement dweller who should really know better, so I'll make this polite. This thread is not for your fetishes. No one likes coming onto a worksafe board and seeing furry porn, scaley porn, pokemon porn, or non-porn things that are nonetheless uncalled for and disgusting. I agree with the QM in that you shouldn't be posting here anymore, at least not until you learn how to post with some semblance of taste.

>>1804935
I agree with you.

Alright, back.

You attempt to dodge the fireball being hurled at you!

Roll me a 1d20+7 for how well this goes.

+2 for ideas on how to cause the mage to miss you!

Rolled 20 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1806925

Critical Success.

Now, roll me a 1d60 for your counter attack.

Rolled 28 (1d60)

>>1806931

28

You narrowly manage to dodge the attack by the mage, and end up swiping at him and knocking him off balance, certainly helping you in your next attack.

Roll me a 1d20+5 anons.

+1 for attack ideas.

Rolled 7 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1807535

>Make our slime tentacles each grab an arm or a leg and attempt to draw and quarter him.

Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1807535

16+6=21

Claw's follow up attack is a success...

Roll me a 1d30.

Rolled 15 (1d30)

>>1807571

Claw of course, manages to get a good grip on the mage, who finds himself unable to turn back time enough to avoid your attack, making him stuck...

He attempts to cast a fireball at your tentacle to get rid of the hold you have on him!

Roll me a 1d20+5 to dodge.

+2 for trying to weaken the mage!
+1 for attempting to get a better hold on the mage!

Rolled 18 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1807603


>Try and loop a slime tentacle around his neck and attempt to choke him out.
>Thicken and widen our slime tentacles, so they can grip more surface area, as well as trying to dig them into his skin, like little IV lines.

18+8=26

You swoop out of the way of a fireball, and begin to choke him out...

You have to say, you think you've nearly won the battle!

Roll me a final 1d20+6 anons!

+2 for thinking how to deal with this mage!

Rolled 14 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1807633

>Dissolve him in our acid slime after we've choked him unconscious so this bullshit never happens again.

14+8=22

You eventually manage to pull him in, and dissolve him, so you never have to deal with this again, of course.

You go back to sleep, having dealt with the annoying mage...

Meanwhile, as Elizabeth...

You've been forced to abandon the car as you hike off road in the Finnish countryside.

You of course, feel quite chilly, and have taken to stealing a few blankets from the occassional house you've passed to stay warm and comfortable. Eventually, you come to what seems to be a small town on the coastline.

"...Wait here. I'm going to see if there's any boat in the harbor."

...I don't exactly think that's a good idea.

I would prefer it if we went ourselves.

Hm...

Actions

>...Tell the devil you'll be going in yourself.
>...Wait here with your servant. No need to do what someone else is planning to do.
>...Why don't we all go together into the town?
>Write-in

>>1807713

>...Why don't we all go together into the town?

Splitting the party is NEVER a good idea in cases like this.

"Well, why don't we all go together into the town?"

"Mostly to save time, and also so we don't end up alerting too many things to where we are."

...Hm.

Actions

>...I suppose that's reasonable enough.
>...I believe there's more strength in numbers, and surely we can deal with any would-be assailants.
>...Well, I scarcely think you are a suitable choice for this, judging from how you are quite weakened.
>Write-in

>>1807748

>...I believe there's more strength in numbers, and surely we can deal with any would-be assailants.
>Regardless, you are in no fit shape to be fending off attackers yourself, and I am loathe to leave my servant behind to fall prey to whatever is lurking out there. Remember, if I lose you, I lose my gateway back home. So this is also in my best interests, as well as yours.

With this, you make headway into the town...

Roll me a 1d20+5 anons.

+1 if you can use your psychic powers to help in being sneaky.
+1 for complaining internally on the fact you had to walk so many miles here... In the cold, no less...
+1 for missing Sweden a bit...

Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1807764

Rolled 2 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1807764

>Use our ability to sense thoughts to scout out ahead and to the side so we can roughly pinpoint where potential enemies may be lurking, as well as potential clear pathways with no activity.
>All this walking, step after step, in the cold, in the snow, in the wet and the yuck and the slush. This, this kind of weather RIGHT here, is why we developed cars!
>"I miss Sweden, I miss Ren, and I miss my warm blankets and a hot drink in front of the roaring fire while the snowstorms rage outside. I miss the little things back home."

18+8=26

You don't run into anything, but you do eventually run into a fishing boat in working condition.

Bolshir tells you to get ready and load the boat up with some food and other supplies for a fairly long journey of about three weeks...

Where will you start looking anons?

>Grocery store.
>The local barracks.
>A local bakery.
>A fish market.
>A clinic.
>A gas station.
>A Renexizsnacks™ diner.
>Write-in

>>1807862
>A local bakery.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can find any food that will last three weeks.

+3 for donut temptations.
+2 for thinking of what baked goods would be perfect for the trip.

Rolled 13 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1808253

Rolled 9 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>1808253

>On the plus side, one of the reasons our police force likes donuts so much is because they stay delicious for extended periods without a lot of effort. So they will last longer than regular old sliced bread.
>Well, we need donuts, of course, and then some unsliced bread, so it won't go stale as quickly, and then some more donuts, and some bagels, to go with the cream cheese I'm picking up at the grocery store next.

13+10=23

You of course, get donuts, and plenty of them, along with some plain old bread and bagels, along with some cream cheese.

"...Excuse me, my lady, but I don't exactly think we can live off frosted donuts."

"Oh, of course, don't worry about it. We'll find some canned food at the grocery too, this is just for me."

The servant seems a bit relieved, knowing that you aren't stupid enough to just take donuts.

Roll me a 1d20+5 for also stocking up at the grocer.

+3 for thinking what food would be perfect for the servant, and for you.
+1 for draconically shopping somehow.

Rolled 9 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1809724
Guess who's back.

Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1809978

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>1809724

Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1810005

Yay, EcoAnon is finally not dead.

10+5=15

You manage to finish packing up everything into the boat, and begin to sail off soon afterwards... Hopefully to whoever has caused you to get stuck here.

Meanwhile, as Renexizious.

And right now, you are rather annoyed by the fact your dealing with some annoying halfling traders.

"...What do you mean, that you can't provide my village with food anymore?"

"M'lord, our village is savin' up for the winter-time, before the soil turns hard, and the crops won't grow!"

...Fucking halfling midgets...

It is likely that if they do cancel their trade agreement, that your village will go hungry for the winter as well.

Actions

>...Scare them into giving you the food for free.
>...Scare them into continuing the trade.
>Try to reach a compromise.
>...Begrudgingly accept them canceling the trade deal.
>...Kill them as examples.
>Write-in

>>1810043
>Try to reach a compromise.

>>1810043
>>Try to reach a compromise.
I, of course, always follow the diplomatic deal. If we can't reach a deal. Our belly can always be satisfied.

You of course, attempt to reach a compromise.

What do you want to send to the halflings to continue the food trade over the winter?

>Send high quality stone.
>Send gold?
>Send ore?
>Offer your personal help?
>...Offer to assist them, so long as they recognize you as their ruler, so to speak.
>Write-in for ideas.

>>1810082
>...Offer to assist them, so long as they recognize you as their ruler, so to speak.
I quite like the idea of a puppet 'state'

>>1810082
>...Offer to assist them, so long as they recognize you as their ruler, so to speak.

>>1810082
>Write-in
Offer them a way to grow crops year round if they recognize us as a ruler

You of course, get a rather fanciful idea, and you lean down, with a large, sharp smile, scaring the two halflings.

"You know, I think I could come to an arrangement to help you, regarding your little... Food problem. So long of course, that you pledge undying loyalty to me for all eternity, even in death, and also give me your soul. That would be good too... Along with your eternal servitude, I would also greatly appreciate that."

"Erh..."

"My lord is fine, halfling. Now, if you actually want me to help you, I recommend you grovel before me."

"...G-grovel?"

"Mostly for daring to intrude upon my lair, along with daring to cut off food to the kobolds, understand?"

...After a brief interlude of you exercising your ego a bit cruelly, the halflings eventually go back to their village after being frightened by you dangling them about a hundred stories in the air, forcing them to give you extremely long titles, such as the "Grand Protector of the Halfling Peoples of all of Existence".

Oh, and also generally recognizing you as a god.

You must admit, ego boosting is quite fun. Too bad you can't do this as much in your other dimension...

You fly eagerly to the village, and wait to see if the halflings will indeed, give up.

Roll me a 1d20+15 to see how likely they are to give up. The only chance for failure is a nat one or two.

+1 for terrifying the halflings from the forest line.

Rolled 15 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>1810150

Rolled 8 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>1810150
>nat20

Rolled 7 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>1810150

The halflings of course, simply give up and hand over control of the village to you, without any problems.

...You honestly have to try to not have fun with such a short, small, and pathetic race... Also, because you actually need to figure out how to not cause starvation, and hopefully get some food.

What do you want to do for getting food from the halflings?

>Personally till the ground yourself.
>Attempt to construct a large "greenhouse" structure
>...Alright, fine. Why don't you mess around and scare the halflings a bit, for fun? (Renexizious's happiness will go up.).
>...Don't they make butter? Why don't you demand that as tribute for your help... (Renexizious's happiness goes up quite a bit.)
>Write-in

The halfling village produces cotton, corn, and wheat, and also alcohol, along with butter, milk, and beef.

There are about 150 halflings, all of them are horribly terrified of you.

>Personally till the ground yourself.
>Attempt to construct a large "greenhouse" structure
More food is never bad, it very well might aid us in the future.

>>1810188
>Attempt to construct a large "greenhouse" structure
>...Don't they make butter? Why don't you demand that as tribute for your help... (Renexizious's happiness goes up quite a bit.)

You begin to till the ground and construct a large greenhouse.

Roll me a 1d20+5 for how well this goes.

+2 for ideas on how to make a medieval greenhouse.
+1 for trying to come up with ideas on how to till the ground faster.
+1 for also slightly scaring the halflings a bit.

Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1810254

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>1810254

Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1810258

>>1810254
>Medieval greenhouse
Luckily glass blowing is a thing.
Let's use that and solid stone (Made by trusty kobolds) to build the actual structure that would hold the plants.
For temperature regulation we can use our environmental rune to make the area hold a certain temperature. Build the glass at a slanting or dome shape so that the ice doesn't build up on the roof

15+7=22

This goes exceedingly well, and you manage to finish the greenhouse after nearly five hours. You of course, reward yourself with some butter, and finish tilling their soil, and head back to the kobold tribe once your done...

When you get back, not much is going on...

What to do in the village?

>Leave and visit someone.
>Have some quality time with Elslif!
>Maybe you should find that drow sorceress again?
>Maybe you should explore the underground river and see where it goes?
>Do some talent scouting among your kobolds. Maybe some of them might have good ideas or special skills?
>Deal with the human refugees.
>Deal with this "littering" problem.
>Construct some stuff!
>Look into teching up the kobolds more!
>Attempt to gather more kobolds!
>Write-in

>>1810369
>Have some quality time with Elslif!

>>1810369
>Do some talent scouting among your kobolds. Maybe some of them might have good ideas or special skills?
I want to see what we turn up.

>>1810369
>Maybe you should explore the underground river and see where it goes?

I'm going to be rolling in about thirty minutes. Feel free to argue.

At this rate, I might give penalties for being divided on answers.

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>1810485
lmao just roll right away

>>1810369
>Have some quality time with Elslif!
After much consideration, I change my vote to this option.

Alright, quality time with Elslif.

You find Elslif messing around in her room, apparently making a castle out of golden coins. Or at least, trying to. It's very small.

"Elslif, are you busy?"

She looks up at you.

"No, did you want something dad?"

"Well, I was considering some quality time with my daughter, since I'm not busy..."

She perks up at hearing this, clearly excited.

What do?

>Help her in making a proper castle out of gold coins...
>...Take her out of the lair for a while?
>Why don't you show her around the tribe and get her introduced to kobolds?
>Take her to your mother's lair?
>See about adventuring with her?
>Write-in for ideas.

>>1810569
>>Take her to your mother's lair?

>>1810569
>>See about adventuring with her?
Nothing creates bonding like good old adventure.

>>1810593
>>1810594
Why not both?

You decide to do both

Do you want to take her to your mother's place first, or adventuring first?

>Introduce her to your mom first.
>Adventure first!

>>1810650
>>Introduce her to your mom first.
Aspire

You decide to take her to your mother's first.

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see how well this goes.

+2 if you can try to explain who your mother is to Elslif.
+1 for telling her how she'll have a wonderful time there!

Rolled 8 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1810702

Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1810702

Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1810702

Critical Success thanks to Renexizious's upgrade!

What do anons want to have happen?

>Instill a proper moral of your choice! (Write-in for moral.)
>Have her think you are the best dad ever (along with thinking her grandmother/grandfather are also the coolest)
>Have a very proud grandmother.
>Write-in for ideas.

>>1810814
>Have a very proud grandmother.
Gotta get in that will.

>>1810814
>Have a very proud grandmother.

>>1810814
>Have her think you are the best dad ever (along with thinking her grandmother/grandfather are also the coolest)
Switching to this

>>1810814
>>Have her think you are the best dad ever (along with thinking her grandmother/grandfather are also the coolest)

Of course, you introduce Elslif to your grandparents.

Mom is of course, thinks she's absolutely, positively, adorable. Her heart practically melts looking at her, and of course, the majority of the visit is the two of them bonding, while you get left out.

...You feel a bit envious, in a slight sense, but Elslif seems to be having a great time with her grandmother, who's of course, having fun with the variety of things in her hoard.

Your dad also finds her precious, and you manage to find some time with him to actually kind of bond and hang out for a minute, with him expressing his concern over your lifestyle/choices and his regrets of not being there for you... That sort of thing.

You of course, tell him not to worry about it at all, and ask him when he and mom plan to move to Sweden, which he gives a bit of a shrug.

...It immediately gets off track when he asks how the "threesome marriage" is going, and gives you a look telling you that he disapproves.

...Goddamn it dad.

"Listen, it's going fine, alright?"

"...Right. You still sleeping with everything that moves?"

"Come on dad..."

"...Hey, I'm not the one who married a cow."

Fucking god...

Your dad of course, lightens up a bit, but you can tell he somewhat disapproves of the whole "marrying a minotaur" thing.

Flames of course, tries his best to ignore it, and eventually Elslif finishes up playing with her grandmother and listening to stories and that sort of thing, she's even eating some cookies too. Aw.

You kiss your mom goodbye, and she of course, gives you a hug and tells you to come again soon, and you leave...

You of course, go adventuring...

What kind of adventure anons?

>Raiding.
>Dungeon crawling!
>Exploring strange new lands!
>Write-in

>>1810971
>Dungeon Crawling

>>1810971
>>Dungeon crawling!

Dungeon Crawl it is.

Roll me a 1d100 anons.

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>1811053

58

You find while searching a large, abandoned library, clearly in ruins.

What do?

>Investigate!
>Continue on.

>>1811104
>Investigate!

>>1811104
Books are useful.
>investigate

You decide to investigate...

You land right by the front steps...

What form anons?

>Human
>Dragonblood
>Half-Dragon
>Dragotaur
>Dragon (Be warned, you might damage the building)
>Write-in

>>1811129
>Half-Dragon

>>1811129
>Half-Dragon

>>1811129
>Half-Dragon

Half Dragon it is.

You go inside, and can't help but note all the dust on the walls and shelves...

The front desk also seems abandoned, damn.

You begin to look around...

Which way do you want to take?

>Center.
>Left.
>Right.
>Leave.

>>1811178
>left

You go left, and after some searching, find some books on alchemy and metalsmithing.

Do you take them?

>Yes.
>No.

>>1811231
>Yes.

You take the books, and continue to search...

Elslif shyly stays close to you...

Roll me a 2d20+2 anons.

>>1811277
Fuck, messed up.

I want one roll with a 1d20-5, and another which is a 1d20+2

Rolled 10 - 5 (1d20 - 5)

>>1811277

Rolled 8 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1811292

Rolled 7 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1811343
fak

Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1811343
>>1811348
I've done - twice now. What is this cursed shit?

Rolled 1, 10 = 11 (2d20)

>>1811277

Alright.

10-5=5

8+2=10

You manage to trigger a trap, while Elslif is also in range!

A large fireball forms at the end of the hallway, and is sent down the aisle your in...

What do?

>Attempt to protect Elslif! (Increases the chances of you being hurt.)
>Attempt to flee! (Increases the chances of you getting out just fine!)
>Try to use your half-dragon form to tip a shelf so you can get out of the way! (Can damage the library!)
>Write-in

>>1811431
>Write-in
>hunger
EAT THE FIREBALL!

>>1811436
Daily reminder that Renexizious is not a red dragon, and is very vulnerable to fire based attacks.

>>1811438
I am aware of this.

>>1811431
Use ice breath

>>1811431
>Write-in
Frost breath that shit.

Roll me a 1d20+7 anons.

Rolled 15 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1811608

Rolled 13 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1811608

Rolled 10 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1811633

15+7=22

You of course, manage to counter-act the fireball with your ice breath, narrowly avoiding being barbecued.

You continue on, and find another book, on what seems to be a history book of remarkable dragons.

Actions

>Take it.
>...Just uh... Why don't you add a bit to the last page about yourself? Couldn't hurt a bit.
>Ignore it.

>>1811657
>Take it.
I bet Rens grandparents are in it

>>1811657
>>Take it.
>>...Just uh... Why don't you add a bit to the last page about yourself? Couldn't hurt a bit.

>>1811657
>Take it
Also cast armor rune on us and elisif
Before we take the book

You cast armor on you and Elslif.

You decide to take it, and maybe add a bit about yourself...

What do you want to add?

>Make it purely historical.
>...Make it a bit historical and of course, a bit of a ego trip.
>...Make it entirely a ego trip on how awesome you are.
>...You shouldn't do it...
>Write-in

>>1811736
>>Make it purely historical.
>>...Make it a bit historical and of course, a bit of a ego trip.
>>...Make it entirely a ego trip on how awesome you are.
>write in
And add Hitler

>>1811752
Please none of the last one.

>>1811752
This except the part about making it a pure ego trip

>>1811757
Purely historical
No hitler

>>1811752
>>1811736
Historical, no hitler

>>1811788
Also add in our wife liz

Well, since it's a tie, and even though I am a /pol/ack at heart, I would rather not have Hitler become a waifu, so if it'll make everyone happy, Ren isn't going to write about Hitler because there's little reason to, but he'll write about Elizabeth, I guess.

Is this good, or no?

>>1812029
Just write in Hitler and Liz. There, everyone's happy and we can all have world peace.

>>1812029
I'm fine with it

>>1812050
>world peace
>assuming that's possible with the mass murderer Sam Hyde

At this rate, I might just spite all of you and combine Liz and Hitler into Liztler.

Don't fucking make me, I'm already tired of the constant ties.

Decide or else anons.

>>1812070
>Liztler
Please no

>>1812029
>Liztler

>>1812070
Please no

Alright, fuck it.

You decide to not write a list about Adolf Hitler, even though you like the guy, he just can't really compete with you...
Also, there's only five blank pages, and someone of your magnitude just can't be contained on a mere three or two...

You fill in the pages with Elizabeth and yourself...

...Do you want to include anything about Elizabeth?

>...Embarrass her slightly, why don't you? You know some things which are rather embarrassing...
>...Just write it plain and simple.
>...You know, you think you should get some good boy points and paint her like she's an absolutely wonderful draconic being. Even to humans.
>...Don't write her in at all... You need more pages about yourself.
>Write-in

>>1812171
>Write-in
Let's just focus on the parts that make her look nice and benevolent.

>>1812171
>...Just write it plain and simple.
Give us more pages though.

You decide to focus on the parts that make her look nice and benevolent.

Finally, roll me a 1d20+7 to see how well this goes.

+2 for flattering text about Elizabeth.
+2 for egotistical writing about yourself...
+1 for trying to find a way to list your kids.

Rolled 10 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1812231

Rolled 20 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>1812231

We can try to draw a small genealogy tree for us and our kids.
Let's try to leave out the mothers cause we can't list all of them. Unless they are liz's then that should be easy enough.

For liz we can start listing down all the (nice) things she does to our slaves.
Also about her skills with motherhood

Critical Success.

You have a distinct feeling that if you showed this to Elizabeth, she'd be very proud, and very, very happy at being in here.

You will get +25 relations with Liz if you show her the book and tell her she got in it.

Elslif and you continue to search int he hallways...

Roll me a 1d20.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>1812285

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>1812285

9

You don't find much, and eventually end up back in a corner...

Which way to go?

>Center.
>Left. (Back down the way you came.)
>Right.
>Write-in

>>1812419
>Right.

>>1812419
>Right

You go right down the aisle.

Roll me a 1d20+4.

Rolled 7 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1812441

Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1812441

19=4=23

You eventually find a book on geomancy magic.

It seems magically bound in place, surprisingly enough, as you seem to not to be able to lift it.

What do?

>...Try to find a way to bypass the magical spell over the book to take it.
>Continue on.
>Write-in

>>1812492
>...Try to find a way to bypass the magical spell over the book to take it.
Maybe we can try some sort of metamagic?
Magic to alter magic?

>>1812511
Do you have spells to alter magic? Otherwise, no.

>>1812536
Oh then just smash the case or whatever that's holding it.

>>1812635
There's no case. You simply find yourself to be unable to lift it off of the shelf.

>>1812492
>Continue on.

>>1813099
>>Continue on.

You decide to move along.

After a bit, you find yourself by the center of the library, where light streams in from the dome above you.

Roll me a 1d20 anons.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>1814351

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>1814359

13

You notice below you what seems to be a collapsed staircase. There's too much rubble for you to move in a short time span, but it still garners your interest.

What do?

>Try to come up with a way to move the rubble?
>(Burrowing) Burrow under the rubble.
>Write-in

>>1814379
>(Burrowing) Burrow under the rubble.

You begin to burrow under the rubble, and get to the other side.

Roll me one more 1d20.

>>1814379
>>(Burrowing) Burrow under the rubble

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>1814432

14

You burrow through the rubble effortlessly, and on the other side, you run into what seems to be a pedestal, with a rather shiny book on it, with plenty of light focused on it as well.

What do?

>...Attempt to examine the book closer?
>Take the book.
>Leave it, and leave.
>Write-in

>>1814476
>...Attempt to examine the book closer?

>>1814476
>>...Attempt to examine the book closer?

You examine the book closer.

It seems to be lacking a title, or anything like that, with a gilded silver cover...

There seems to be a skeleton right next to it, though.

Hm.

Actions

>Take the book.
>Leave it.

>>1814754
>Take the book.

>>1814754
>>Take the book.

Roll me a 1d100 anons.

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>1814896

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>1814896

A powerful shock courses through your body, bringing you to the floor instantly!

"Dad!" Elslif yells, in shock.

You have took 4000 Damage, and you are stunned!

You have 6000 HP left!

What do?

>(Strength, Very Hard): Attempt to BREAK the book so it'll stop shocking you!
>(Wisdom, Hard): Attempt to resist! You can hold out...
>Write-in for ideas.

>>1815013
>>1815013
>(Wisdom, Hard): Attempt to resist! You can hold out...
Ren should become a blue dragon. Lightning is the best element all around.

Roll me a 1d20+3 anons.

Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1815086

Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1815052
QM has already said blue deals with water instead of lightning, sadly.
>>1815086

Rolled 17 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1815102

17+3=20

You manage to resist the trap extremely well, and eventually the lightning begins to subside...

You back away from the book, heavily injured. It's quite clear that magic is protecting it...

Hm.

Actions

>...Investigate the room.
>Try to come up with a plan to get that silver book!
>...Leave, you aren't going to find anything valuable here...
>Write-in

>>1815155
>...Investigate the room.

>>1815155
..Investigate the room.

Roll me a 1d20+4 anons.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>1815245

Critical Success.

You notice a hidden door behind the pedestal, which you manage to open after feeling on the wall for a bit...

Do you want to go down into it, or no?

>Stay back and leave...
>Go down!
>Write-in

>>1815382
>Go down!

>>1815382
>Go down!

Are anons sure? You are quite low on health right now, and you can always come back later.

>>1815432
I want that book damnit. It's going to be something good.

>>1815432
>You are quite low on health right now, and you can always come back later.
let's head out then if we can come back.

Waiting for one more vote anons.

>>1815382
Go down

>>1815382

>Stay back and leave...

Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=GO down.
2=Stay back.

You go down...

Do you want to take Elslif or no?

>Take Elslif.
>Leave her here...
>Write-in

>>1816128
>Take Elslif.
YEAH!

>>1816128
>Take Elslif.

>>1816128

>Leave her here...
Yes, let's take our fucking 4-year-old-in-human-years daughter into a fucking dungeon, what's the worst that could happen? It's not like we just took 6000 damage. No, let's watch her trip a trap, get skewered on a spike like a roast pig, and have to explain why her daughter is now dead to a soon-to-be-grieving-murderous Elizabeth. Yes, I see nothing wrong with this.

>>1816159
I can spunderstnad cocnerns about taking Elisif with us, although leaving her by herself in a place we're unsure of might also put her at risk.

>these grammar mistakes
time to commit seppuku

>>1816180

Honestly, I think that we should leave, heal, and come back later without her. We know where the location is, the stuff isn't going anywhere, and we can afford to be patient. We've lost over half our hp, and we should really get it back. Elslif can stay with the kobolds while we go down into what is obviously a Final Boss encounter, since the loot is already on display.

Waiting fifteen minutes anons.

>>1816190
I'd support this course of action

Let's not bring Elisif into the dungeon, m'kay

You decide to leave the dungeon and take Elslif back home.

Roll me a 1d20-5 by the way anons.

Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1816285

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>1816285

14-5=9

You continue along, when you notice something coming towards you... A large, black bolt...

It hits you right on the chest, and seemingly does nothing.

Huh.

...That's of course, when you feel quite a bit of pain in your central chest...

What do?

>Try to continue on, and ignore the pain.
>...Try to find a way to examine what is causing the pain?
>Write-in

>>1816322
>Write-in
>Black bolt
This is necrotic energy
Try to sense if this necrotic energy is doing anything to us right now and if so counter the effects

>>1816322
>...Try to find a way to examine what is causing the pain?

>>1816325


Basically this.

This is indeed necrotic energy, and it is effecting you right now!

...You can't help but sneeze uncontrollably...
You seem to be catching somesort of sickness, and you try to get out of here before it progresses anymore.

Roll me a 1d20+3 anons.

+2 for trying to retrace your steps.
+1 for trying to focus while slowly becoming sick.
+1 for wondering how Liz would react to you accidently getting Elslif hurt or killed.

Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1816370
Liz would not be a happy dragon if Elisif died.

Rolled 19 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1816370

>Go Left, Right, and follow the walls to get out.
>"Think. Focus. You can get sick after you get out of here and get to safety. Keep a claw on the wall for support, and for finding the way out. Keep Elslif safe. You can do this."
>"She wouldn't kill me, that would be letting me off easy. Instead, she's going to ruin me. She'd take all the children back to England, claim Sweden and all its assets and land holdings as hers in the divorce proceedings, convince my other wives to divorce me because I got my baby daughter killed, and then publicize the whole thing so I can never show my face in public again. The only friend I'd have left at the end would be Claw, I'd have to move into Mom's cave since I couldn't be seen in my home dimension anymore, and I'd end up going crazy and adopting the kobolds as surrogate children to try to make up for what I lost." Ren hugs Elslif close. "You can't die on Daddy! You have to stay safe, or else my life will be in shambles without you, Elslif!"

Critical Success!

You manage to get the hell out of the library, and go back to the lair, still suffering from the disease, but luckily (relatively) unharmed.

By the time you get back, your coughing up gusts of ice and sneezing controllably, and dropping the local temperature severely.

You head into the lair, and collapse, face first into a comfy gold pillow of your hoard.

...God, pizza sounds delicious right now.

Soon after this, you slowly succumb to this, while thinking about pizza and hating your life thus far.

...Roll me a 1d20+1 to see if the village can help in treating you.

+2 for thinking of delicious pizza fit for a dragon emperor...
+2 for trying to get comfy, even with your somewhat small hoard, and lack of furniture... (+1 if you can try to not be embarrased of it, and just end up hating yourself for being such a fucking embarrassement of a 200 story dragon and not having a more comfy lair.)
+2 for trying to not injure the kobolds with your symptoms. No need to accidently end up killing any.

Rolled 5 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>1816429

Rolled 16 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1816429

>Septuple Meat Lovers. With stuffed crust, with butter brushed over it, and a nice, stiff, bready crust to hold everything without the toppings sliding off. Sixty inches wide, this is a majestic pizza meant for the majesty of dragon form, after all.
>Gold coin pillow, and try to pull what little gold we have remaining over us like a blanket, laying on the floor on top of whatever cloth and spare clothing the kobolds happen to have. "Ugh...I..I understand that this isn't my main hoard, and it'll grow over time, but I'm laying on freaking spare clothing, it isn't even cashmere, or alpaca, or silk, or any other fine cloth! Fuck this is sad...I should at least get the kobolds something better to use for cloth, then they can sell it for more gold. Maybe I should consider some spinners and weavers...or something, maybe, god this is just so sad I'm considering SHEEP over just laying here, practically naked and uncovered by this sad and pathetic hoard!"
>Cover up our snout with the first piece of fabric or other covering we can find, have Elslif tell them that we need to be alone to rest, and make a beeline for our lair, while avoiding as many as possible.

16+7=23

The village begins to treat you and you feel better already, with their strange drinks and herbs...

The next day eventually rolls around, and you still feel like shit, to be honest.

A kobold shyly pokes your snout.

"Great dragon?"

".......Whaaat the fuck is it now..." You say, grumpy and clearly not wanting to be bothered.

"Erm... There's some evil adventurers here to see you."

"...Evil adventurers?"

"...Evil-aligned, divine dragon. They're looking for a great patron such as you, and adventure to pursue."

"Great... Can they get me something for lunch?"

"...Erh..."

"...Tell them to come back when they bring me back a septuple... Hang on a moment..."

You sneeze on the side of the wall.

"...Make that a tredecuple, actually... Tredecuple meat lover's with stuffed crust, butter all over it... Yeah, extra pepperoni..."

The kobold seems confused, and leaves to tell the adventurers this while you roll over in pain, anguish, and general misery.

...Wait.

Adventurers?

Evil aligned adventurers?

Looking for a quest from you?

...Huh.

Actions

>...Maybe you should actually talk to them and not just send them out to get you a fucking pizza.
>...Nah, this is their hazing. Besides, it means you don't get bothered... Also, pizza...
>Write-in

>>1816520

>...Nah, this is their hazing. Besides, it means you don't get bothered... Also, pizza...

Fetch Quests, ahoy! It's always better to be a quest giver than a quester.

>>1816520
>...Nah, this is their hazing. Besides, it means you don't get bothered... Also, pizza...

You let the adventurers wander off, and continue to wallow in pain and misery.

Elslif however, attempts to cheer you up while you recover, and two days later goes by.

You wake up, in your lair which is basically now completely surrounded in ice, and find yourself unable to sleep. You've been starving for Tiamat knows how long, and these kobolds lack enough food to feed you, a 200 story dragon. They could feed Elslif, for a time, sure. But you? You require more then petty scraps...

....Also, dreaming of pizza and other delicious food has gotten you fucking hungry and you really want something to eat.

Actions

>...Ask if Elslif wants anything when you go out to get some food?
>...Head to your dimension and get something at a fast food place or something, though you'll need to be somewhat destructive.
>...Well, you could always try raiding... Though doing it while your so grouchy and sick could be pretty bad.
>...See if you can get the kobolds to look for more adventurers or something so you don't even need to leave your house.
>Write-in

>>1816538
Also

>Wait for adventurers to bring pizza back.

>>1816538
Wait for the pizza

>>1816538

>Wait for adventurers to bring pizza back.

We must wait to see if they are competent enough to raid the dungeon for the book at the end. If they aren't, then hey, instead of bringing lunch, they ARE lunch!

Two more days go by, and you feel yourself becoming more and more hungry. Eventually, one of the kobolds disturbs your rest.

"Great dragon, the adventurers have come back."

"Oh thank the heavens. They have my pizza, correct?"

"...Erh, yes. What's a pizza?"

"...Doesn't matter. Bring it here."

The kobold comes back a few minutes later, with a pizza box. It's quite small, but eh... It says it comes from a mage's guild, apparently.

"...My lord?"

'Yes?"

"...The um, the adventurers want their pay."

You have about 40,000 in gold coins.

How much do you want to pay the adventurers?

>Nom. You need some appetizers.
>...Don't give them a tip.
>1 gp
>5 gp
>10 gp
>15 gp
>20 gp
>...Wait a minute, double check the pizza and make sure it's SPECIFICALLY what you asked for.
>Write-in for proper tipping amounts

>>1816571

>...Wait a minute, double check the pizza and make sure it's SPECIFICALLY what you asked for.

If it's a fucking Garden Pizza, they're lunch.

You open it carefully.

...First of all, it's small. About the size of a fucking pie. A tiny pie. A pie meant for humans, not for manly dragons like you.

Secondly, it's fucking flat bread, with herbs and olives on it.

Thirdly, THERE IS NO FUCKING BUTTER ON IT.

Actions

>...Flip your shit at this, and find whoever is making this travesty of a pizza.
>Nom the adventurers.
>...Keep calm, and eat it. Maybe it's decent?
>(((Shrewd Mind))): Take advantage of this lack of proper pizza making facillities to attempt to make a business making true, 100%, original draconic pizzas.
>Write-in
>Write-in

>>1816584

>(((Shrewd Mind))): Take advantage of this lack of proper pizza making facillities to attempt to make a business making true, 100%, original draconic pizzas.

Conscript the adventurers into making a proper pizza, on pain of nomming. Evil nomming. Draconic nomming. Only after they've mastered the pizza arts, can they be trusted to quest further in our name.

>>1816584
>...Keep calm, and eat it. Maybe it's decent?
>(((Shrewd Mind))): Take advantage of this lack of proper pizza making facillities to attempt to make a business making true, 100%, original draconic pizzas.
It still sounds like a decent pizza

You of course, conscript the adventurers.

Which are of course, a large human in black armor, kind of like a knight, but not, then a pretty cute drow ranger... Oh, and also a strange halfling with down's syndrome who looks like a rogue and suspicious as fuck, and also a dwarf who looks like he just came along because there was money.

Roll me a 1d20+2 anons to teach adventurers how to make pizza.

+2 for properly making a draconic pizza.
+2 for telling them how to make it fit for a emperor. Dragon emperor, you should add.
+2 for threatening and being very, very pissed.
+1 thinking about how you'll make a shitload of money if you do commercialize these here.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>1816614

Rolled 3 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1816614

Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1816824

16+2=18

You manage to teach the adventurers how to make a pizza (somewhat) worthy of a dragon, while coming up with a variety of ways to profit off this...

Actions

>...See about contracting your most business like son, Basil if he'd be interested in doing this. (Boosts opinion with Basil, plus maybe have some bonding with him in the future? Most of the profits would go to him though.)
>...You'd rather handle this yourself. See about trying to start a sort of pizza chain in this dimension, for maximium profit... (You'd get plenty of income, plus, who doesn't want to spread consumerism to other dimensions with foolish adventurers, and probably become the leading cause of obesity?)
>Nah, this is a dumb fucking idea... (Forget about the idea.)
>Write-in

>>1819360
>Nah, this is a dumb fucking idea... (Forget about the idea.)

>>1819360
>...See about contracting your most business like son, Basil if he'd be interested in doing this. (Boosts opinion with Basil, plus maybe have some bonding with him in the future? Most of the profits would go to him though.)
More income and he can take care of it in the background.

>>1819360
> Nah, this is a dumb fucking idea... (Forget about the idea.)

>>1819360
>>...See about contracting your most business like son, Basil if he'd be interested in doing this. (Boosts opinion with Basil, plus maybe have some bonding with him in the future? Most of the profits would go to him though.)

>>1819360
> Nah, this is a dumb fucking idea... (Forget about the idea.)

>>1819360
>...See about contracting your most business like son, Basil if he'd be interested in doing this. (Boosts opinion with Basil, plus maybe have some bonding with him in the future? Most of the profits would go to him though.)

Effortless money.

>>1819360
>>1819360
>...See about contracting your most business like son, Basil if he'd be interested in doing this. (Boosts opinion with Basil, plus maybe have some bonding with him in the future? Most of the profits would go to him though.)
I'll switch to this since good relations with Basil is better and not to hold up the quest.

You decide to get Basil to do this, when you go back home.

After this, you go back to attempting to rest from your sickness, which is slowly getting better.

...Of course, not even your headmates can't annoy, and the only good thing is Elslif being cute and childlike around you.

Eventually, time goes by and you recover fully, finally...
You do note that Elslif is no where to really be seen.

With all that being done, you notice the kobolds have remodeled a bit, their hovels looking a bit nicer and the foundations being made of well-carved stone...

Huh, seems like the kobolds have been busy while you were gone.

Actions


>Leave and visit someone.
>...Elslif is probably playing hide and seek or doing something. Try to find her.
>Maybe you should find that drow sorceress again?
>Maybe you should explore the underground river and see where it goes?
>Do some talent scouting among your kobolds. Maybe some of them might have good ideas or special skills?
>Deal with the human refugees.
>Deal with this "littering" problem.
>Construct some stuff!
>Look into teching up the kobolds more!
>Attempt to gather more kobolds!
>Write-in

>>1821436
>>Deal with this "littering" problem.
>>Construct some stuff!
If this is where we'll reside. It needs to be worthy of us.

>>1821436
>Deal with this "littering" problem.
>Construct some stuff!
Maybe get more kobolds as well. We did just expand the place by Luke 600%

>>1821436

>...Elslif is probably playing hide and seek or doing something. Try to find her.
>Deal with this "littering" problem.

If nothing else, at least send a kobold to fetch her for us. It makes me uneasy if she's out of sight for too long and we can't find her.

You decide to deal with the whole littering problem.

Actions

>...Come up with a way to easily dispose of unwanted materials. Don't you have a lava forge you can use?
>...Institute punishments for littering in your land?
>...Have the kobold's kids run around and collect garbage for rewards. That's good, right?
>...Make a dedicated job to cleaning up the tribe.
>Write-in

>>1821675
>>...Come up with a way to easily dispose of unwanted materials. Don't you have a lava forge you can use?
>>...Institute punishments for littering in your land?
>>...Have the kobold's kids run around and collect garbage for rewards. That's good, right?
>>...Make a dedicated job to cleaning up the tribe.
All of the above.