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After sitting down at one of the benches in the shade you both keep looking at your children as Sofia practically keeps dragging Takeshi by the hand.
After another chuckle you speak up.

"So... I assume you don't have a messed up family situation like I do."

She shakes her head.
"No. Not really.
It's always been just the two of us.
I got to raise him alone. Most parents aren't so lucky."

"Nobody took you in?"

"No...
People in the Rukongai are kind. They share what little they have...
But feeding two mouths instead of just one? Most families can't afford that.
And those who do are less inclined to do so."

"Then... how did you manage?"

"I found myself a job at a small stall selling food.
I suppose the boss took pity on me when he saw me with Takeshi... He was also kind enough to let me keep himself at my side at all times.
Kind man."

"What happened with him?"

"Don't know.
At some point a shinigami strolled into the shop and I almost feinted.
Apparently I had the talent to become one myself.
So I went and attended the Shino Academy with Takeshi. He has young by that point but not the youngest to ever attend.
I thought I'd have a better chance at finding you if I had superpowers."

"D-Did you spend a lot of time looking for me?"
You ask reluctantly.

"At first... yeah.
But over time I had less and less free time so... I just stopped.
I guess at some level I realized that if you aren't in the Seireitei I probably won't find you.
So I spent my time with my squad and Takeshi instead.
...
But I never considered the fact that you ended up as a hollow."

"I... was unlucky. Let's just say that.
It certainly wasn't my plan."

"Do you... regret it?"

A tricky question to answer.
Your non existent heart weighs heavily upon you.
"Honestly?
A bit."
You turn to look at Sofia.
"But now that I'm here...
I wouldn't give it up for anything."

"I see..."
Rike looks a bit gloomy at this.
But in her usual fashion her mouth curls up into a bright smile as she grins at you.
It's not fake though. Being able to cheer others up, even herself, was a specialty of hers.
"But I'm happy for you!
It sounds like you gathered quite a crowd around yourself!"

"Oh you'd love it!
We gathered quite a freakshow back home.
I'm certain you'd love them!
...
Most of them... A few of them...
Okay there is like... one guy, he's our chef.
But you should still come and check it out one day!"

"Oh I don't know about that.
A lot of people still frown every time you come knocking at our door.
They would NEVER allow anyone actually popping over to your side... unless if it was for spying."

"Heh. Who says we need their approval?
Just tell them I kidnapped you!"

"And risk an all out war?"

"Come now... would they be really so stupid?
I don't think so."

Rike gives you a quick glance that says "Don't underestimate them" but she quickly waves it away and laughs to herself.
"We'll see! We'll see.
But I'll have to convince Takeshi first."

>Did you ever think about finding a new family?
>What are your plans now? I mean, you found me already. Rising through the ranks?
>I'm interested in Takeshi a bit more. Any tips on how to get him to not hate me?
>Other? (write-in)

>>1669539
>Did you ever think about finding a new family?
>What are your plans now? I mean, you found me already. Rising through the ranks?
>I'm interested in Takeshi a bit more. Any tips on how to get him to not hate me?

All of the options. It's like leaving dialogue trees in CRPGs unexplored. It's just not done!

>>1669570
I both love and hate you at the same time

>>1669539
this>>1669570

Okay I'll just get to writing now.

>writing

>>1669608
Is the archive description meant to be the letter 0?

>>1669620
Yes

>>1669620
Of course, just like the Espada, these quests go from 0 to 9, not 1 to 10.

>>1669620
Sorry I may have fucked up there.

It's Zero

File: 0-10.jpg (136 KB, 848x781)

136 KB JPG

>>1669625

>>1669621
>>1669625
I find it hilarious you both ignored that i called 0 a letter of the alphabet

>>1669631
Whatever happened to Yammy? I have a lot of quests to catch up on, and no offence meant, but this isn't the top priority.

>>1669637
Nnoitora axed him off screen.

His skull is Spoonys favorite chair.
Makes him feel like a warlord as he sips wine from a glass and tosses it aside because he couldn't give half an ounce of shit about the one that has to shampoo the carpet afterwards

>>1669641
>axed him off screen.
Truly, you are QMing in the spirit of Kubo.

So what are the odds both wives would be alright with kaizar maybe sort of "being" with both of them? at different times of course unless they're into that

>>1669662
Anon. That uh is hmm

>>1669662
the same as Yammys number

"Good luck. Just give me a heads up first.
I want to make a good first impression! And that means making sure nobody behaves like they typically do!"
You lean back against the support of the bench and cross your arms behind your head.
"But that's probably further along the line.
So tell me...
Now that your over arching quest of searching for me is finished... What's the plan?
Do you just... live your life as a shinigami from now on until the end?"

"That's a tricky question."
Rike rests her elbows on her thighs and supports her head with her palms.
"This job is not something you just quit, you know.
You serve until you die. Your duties just change once you can't do what you did up until now.
So... I guess yes.
Besides. I like it here. I have a few friends here and there, we have quite wild parties after tough missions.
Sometimes the guys even forget that I'm a girl and happily discuss which chicks they want to bang. It's very entertaining!"
She grins.

But looking at her you notice something.
Perhaps a hint of regret.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YTVl2IiQJE

"They sound fun.
What are their names?"

"W-What?
Erm... that's easy!
They-"
But before she'd go on she sighs.
"You saw through me... didn't you?
Fine.
I have no idea who most of them are.
They just... drag me away every time.
The only way I recognize them is by their faces."

"Rike..."

"Hey don't judge me okay?
It wasn't easy you know. I gave up on a lot.
I didn't have much time to socialize... or.... couldn't be asked.
Raising Takeshi as best as I could plus looking for you plus... training.
All of that just ate up my time."

You sigh and hug her in a friendly manner.
"It's okay.
Nobody is judging you."

A few seconds pass and she doesn't speak up.
Feeling that the situation might be a bit awkward you try to let go but she quickly grabs the sleeve of your jacket and holds you in please.
"Please... don't.
Just a few more moments."

Her arms wrap around your chest and she hugs you back.
You can practically feel the beating of her heart as she does so and you hear her deeply inhaling once.
"I missed this...
I missed it so much.
Even your smell. Brings back memories."
She sighs.
"Why did it have to be like this?
Why couldn't it be more simple?
Was it just not meant to be?"

"Don't say that..."

Update might be a bit late.
I'm going out for food.

But I'll try to cut it short

>>1669677
>I'm going out for food.
Boo.

>>1669677
I'm back

>>1669691
H-he's fast!

>>1669691
HOW COULD YOU LEAVE- EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE.

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>>1669696

"Rike...
There is no higher power watching your every move, deciding what happens in your life.
If there was... then I wouldn't have a family right now."

"You know that isn't true...
The Soul King-"

"Just forget about it.
I've seen it for what it is... at least in part."

With a long sigh she finally lets you go.
"Fine... I'll believe you.
You wouldn't lie. Would you?"

"Never."

As you part from her Rike slaps herself on both cheeks a few times to psyche herself up.
"Okay... no more depressing stuff.
Quick. Change the subject to something less soul crushing!"

"Heh... as you wish.
..."
But as you try to come up with a proper conversation topic you find yourself being unable to think of anything.
Awkwardly you try to mumble a few half answers but ultimately you fail.
"Erm... Well... It's not what you'd consider "happy" but...
Any idea what I could do about Takeshi?
He seems to be adamant about hating my guts."

"I 'unno."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Well I mean that he has always been a bit head strong.
He likes to assert himself whenever possible. And once he gets something in his head it's very hard to change his mind.
At first he probably disliked you because you abandoned us. But once he realized he was mistaken he changed things up and now dislikes you because you are a hollow and he has been conditioned to hate your kind."

But as she finishes that she begins pondering something.
"Hmmm... Maybe...
Maybe that whole visiting Hueco Mundo thing is actually a smart idea.
Show him what it's like out there.
He doesn't dislike his sister... Perhaps once he sees what you've done there he'll change his mind."

"You think so?
Worth a shot I guess."

But once more you are left without a thing to speak about.
And the silence is drawing you crazy.
"So... I've been thinking Rike."

"Hmmm?"

"Did you ever... you know... consider finding a new family?"

*sigh*
"Since you came back?
Perhaps.
The problem is that I don't even know how to start."

"No courters?"

"Worse.
I think my captain has the hots for me.
Cute guy but not too bright nor my type.
And I'd hate to break his heart."
But she quickly looks at you and gives a concerned look.
"Now I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"You've said that if we got what we deserve... you'd have it worse.
Be honest with me.
What did you do?"

>Answer honestly
>Lie
>Tell part of it
>Other? (write-in)

>>1669778
>Answer honestly
We wuz nazi

>>1669778
>>Answer honestly

>>1669778
>Answer honestly

>>1669778
>>Answer honestly
No lies.

'Kay

>writing

Also...
You might wanna roll 3d10s
Best of 3 and a DC of 17

This is just a perception check

Rolled 5, 10, 7 = 22 (3d10)

>>1669837
just a perception check he says

Rolled 7, 9, 9 = 25 (3d10)

>>1669837

>>1669837
>>1669839
>>1669847
Roll status:Done

Rolled 7, 9, 2 = 18 (3d10)

>>1669837

File: cant-touch-this.gif (2.93 MB, 480x271)

2.93 MB GIF

>>1669839
>>1669847

With a sigh you slouch forward.
"Before I answer that...
How much do you know?"

She looks... disappointed.
"More than I'd like.
Which is basically enough.
I dunno... What I read felt so... surreal."

"Then you know.
I was in the Schutzstaffel... that tells you all you need to know."
Again you lean back against the bench but this time you do it with all of your weight, not feeling strong enough to support yourself.
"War crimes of all types such as "handling" POWs or the usage of weaponry and tactics that broke almost all conventions in history.
But so did everyone else... that's not special.
No... I was more involved.
Remember when I wrote that I got transferred from the front lines?
While my troops were sent home I..."
You begin rubbing your eyes.

"I replaced an officer at one of the camps temporarily.
I oversaw everything.
And while the smoking gun wasn't in my hand... it didn't change the fact that the smell of gunpowder followed me for weeks if you get what I mean."

Rike pauses for a moment and just looks at you.
Then she turns forward and stares at the ground.
"Oh Gott...
I believed... no.
I wanted to believe that wasn't the case."
Now she's the one rubbing her eyes.
"But I guess it was foolish of me.
B-but you! You didn't do it on your own volition!
You followed orders!"

"That's a fun excuse nobody actually cares about.
And it didn't exactly help me sleep at night.
...
After my death that is."

"So you-"

"Not only me...
Most if not all that were involved were heavily indoctrinated.
Only after having most of my memory wiped did I think my actions were monstrous.
Back then... it didn't even bother me..."

With that you stand up and begin walking around just to keep yourself busy while you ramble on.
"Remember all the propaganda?
Because I do. And I must say... it was ingenious.
If you keep repeating one thing for long enough.... then the people will eventually listen.
They'll start believing what you tell them. And those who don't?
Well... they are easy to get rid of once you have the majority following you..."

How close is this quest to finishing?

"So that's why..."
Rike begins to mumble to herself.
"That's why you laughed when you learned of Hell...
You believe you'll go there once you die."

"I do.
If what the shinigami claim is true.
But tell me this: Who or rather What has the right to judge me?
How do they judge our actions? How do they measure each action?
Questions like these are why I came to one, singular conclusion.
IF there is a higher being out there then it's not a benevolent being and I'd rather forfeit my one way ticket to heaven than to be subjected to such a hideous thing!"

You then turn your back to Rike and keep going on.
"An omniscient, omnipotent being that does nothing but watches the worlds horrors is not something that deserves faith or praise."
Then you quiet your tone.
"Especially one that hurt you because of my actions."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-kIfy27Vco

But then you feel arms wrapping around you from behind.
"You big dumb oaf...
A smart man once said that's not how the world works.
That karma doesn't exist and it's all just bad luck."

"Yeah?
Well...
I wouldn't trust that guy.
Sounds like he's just talking out of his ass."

Rike chuckles and lets you go, confident that her help is not needed that much.
But before she could speak up once more something catches her attention.
"S-Siegfried..."

"I know."
You reply, feeling it as well.

Or hear it would be a more accurate expression.
A sharp whistling noise, not unlike that of artillery shells rapidly approaching your position.
Extending your palm you see a black dot appearing on it and growing ever larger.

>Step aside
>Raise your hand and catch it
>"Sofia! We're leaving!"
>Other? (write-in)

>>1669939
Hard to say.

The sheer amount of characters that will appear in the final arc will make it long. VERY LONG.
We'll probably pass the 100 thread mark

>>1669974
>>Raise your hand and catch it
>>1669976
Yessss

>>1669974
>>Raise your hand and catch it

>>1669974
>Raise your hand and catch it

>>1669976
Fuck ya.

>>1669978
Absolutely seconded

>>1669974
>>Raise your hand and catch it

File: Loving+all+the+kill+la+ki(...).gif (839 KB, 300x168)

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Ohohokay

*smirks internally*

Roll 3d10 DC 21
Best of four because you succeeded the last roll

>writing

Rolled 1, 7, 7 = 15 (3d10)

>>1670049

Rolled 2, 3, 2 = 7 (3d10)

>>1670049

Rolled 4, 10, 9 = 23 (3d10)

>>1670049

>>1670055
Damn fine moves anon.

>>1669976
>The sheer amount of characters that will appear in the final arc will make it long. VERY LONG.
Yeah, that's what Kubo said too, I bet we end on a really awkward number just past 100.

Rolled 3, 7, 6 = 16 (3d10)

>>1670055
>[Smirking falters]

>>1670049

File: New Reaction Pic.png (87 KB, 243x258)

87 KB PNG

>>1670055
Damn that was fucking close

File: 516Tenchuren_lands.png (568 KB, 950x883)

568 KB PNG

"Rike... clear the area.
Tell the kids to not move."

"R-right...
Wait! What are you doing?"


"I said get clear!"

The whistling grows louder until it turns into a roar as the "shell" reveals its true size.
And it's big.
At least by your standards.
Plus you aren't sure what it's made out of.

But as you are analyzing the incoming projectile you hear the door to the garden practically slamming open as the captain left in charge of you rushes in.
"Okay... Everyone get clear this is-
...
What are you doing?"

Not paying attention to him you simply raise up your open palm as you reposition yourself just a tiny bit.
"Patience Captain."

Kyoraku looks at you in utter confusion.
"Do you even..."
*sigh*
"Why do I even bother?
Fine... do as you please.
But don't ask me for a bandaid when you get hurt."

Just as Shunsui finishes the projectile gets close enough so you can see every little detail on it clearly.
It's a huge pillar easily capable of dwarfing all buildings in your immediate surroundings and it's pristine white in color.
Judging by its speed the thing must have hit terminal velocity quite a while ago which is honestly scary.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSAp991JIVs

As soon as the thing collides against your palm you notice strange things about it.
Namely that the thing appears to have been constructed from Sekki stone, meaning that no amount of reiryoku is going to help you out this time.
And any sane person would have their life flash before their eyes before themselves.
Also, Shunsui may have been quite the smug bastard back then seeing as you'd need more than a bandaid if you turned out to be incapable of holding this thing. Perhaps a coffin might be more appropriate.

But as you feel the force of the pillar hit you the air around you practically explodes as the construct screeches to an immediate halt.
Feeling the blood rush back into your arm you feel your hand slowly numbing but otherwise you are unharmed.
"Perfect!"
You speak as you manage to keep the tower balanced in one hand.

Feeling the desire to just drop the whole thing and be done with it you suppress this urge and set it down nicely.
Wouldn't want to anger the shinigami by ruining their lawn, would we?

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Rike and Takeshi are sufficiently shocked by this while Sofia barely even noticed your feat.
But perhaps the most amusing sight to behold is the expression of the nonplussed Captain behind you.
The normally level headed Kyoraku struggles to pick up his jaw after it almost hit the ground.

"O-Okay...
Now I get what happened to Zaraki-kun..."

"Please...
This wasn't even that bad.
I didn't actually lose my arm in this!"

"Well... I guess I see Captain Asatos point now."

But as you keep conversing the side of the pillar begins to open up and smoke rolls out.
Shunsui just sighs at this.
"Guess this is happening now.
No time for explanations I guess."

"I'm sorry. What?
You know what this is?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Xdyd4FsKvk

From within the confines of the structure five figures step out.
And just as the Sekki stone no longer surrounds them the spiritual pressure of these individuals washes over you.
Well... smashes you in the face like a hammer would be more accurate.
These people are unlike anything you've ever seen despite clearly being shinigami.

The one leading the group, a bald man with a large beard speaks up as he looks around.
"My oh my...
It appears we've managed to hit one of the divisions.
Ooops."
But then he notices Shunsui.
"Ah Captain Kyoraku!
It's a good thing that you're here.
You see... we've had a bit of a bumpy landing and would like to know what caused it.
Please tell me we didn't accidentally smashed a few officers. That'd be most regrettable."

*sigh*
"No Osho.
Nothing of the sort happened."

"Hmmm? Really?
Then what was it?"
He looks at his fellows and one of them speaks up.

"Ey man! Stop lookin' at me like dat!
It ain't my fault this hunk o' junk can't even fall straight!"

"Erm..."
You speak up.
"Excuse me but...
Who... are you?"

The large man that Shunsui referred to as Osho gives you a curious look.
His eyes linger on you as if he's trying to undress you with his eyes.
"Hmmmmm...
Interesting.
You're still here.
We assumed you'd scurry the moment you the Tenchuren.
But this is good!
Saves us the trouble!"

"You didn't answer my question..."

>>1670210
ignorant fag here, Bad?

>>1670210
Welp, I guess this is a thing that's happening now?

>>1670223
Possibly, but we do have the god stone.

>>1670210
Ey, don't fuck with us baldy. Unless you're going to give us a late birthday present you can fuck off back to your shithole in the sky with your invalid torso god. Goddammit.

>>1670230
Ha, minor "g" god
Serves them right

>>1670223
>ignorant fag here, Bad?
If they're out for our ass then yeah. You have to be Butterfly Aizen/Almighty Ywhach level to deal with all of them at once.

File: spread_your_cheeks.jpg (41 KB, 500x666)

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At this Kyoraku seems to take the initiative.
And although you don't know the man that much he certainly appears to be a guy like Starrk.
I.e he never does anything on his own volition unless it's absolutely necessary.

"I believe some introductions may be in order...
Kayzar Soize... Allow me to introduce the Zero Squad.
Otherwise known as the Royal Guard."

Hearing this both Rike and Takeshi lose their collective shit but you just raise an eyebrow at that.
"Royal Guard?"

"Hmmm... How to explain it best?
They GUARD the Soul King himself.
And it is said that their combined might equals that of the entire Gotei 13..."

Looking at them you can tell that this is not an exaggeration.
Or not a big one at least.
As their reiatsu is on par with what Shunsui just said.
And judging by the large monks creepy smile this may indeed be dangerous.

"We've been anxious to meet you... Kaizar Soize!"
The large man who appeared almost harmless mere moments ago turned his expression into one that'll haunt your nightmares for the rest of eternity.

>Grab Sofia and run for it
>"You have me at a disadvantage. Care to introduce yourselves?"
>"Now I know who you are. Do I have to ask Shunsui why you are here or will you finally answer me?"
>Other? (write-in)

>>1670259
>>"Now I know who you are. Do I have to ask Shunsui why you are here or will you finally answer me?"

>>1670259
>>"Now I know who you are. Do I have to ask Shunsui why you are here or will you finally answer me?"

>>1670259
>>"Now I know who you are. Do I have to ask Shunsui why you are here or will you finally answer me?"

>>1670259
>"Now I know who you are. Do I have to ask Shunsui why you are here or will you finally answer me?"

>>1670259

>"Now I know who you are. Do I have to ask Shunsui why you are here or will you finally answer me?"

We ain't friends here, but we'll show them the same respect they showed us.

>>1670280
We'll drop a dozens-tons heavy pillar on them and grin like we're about to eat their intestines?

>>1670285
Implying we wouldn't otherwise?

>>1670285

Exactly.

Though finding a pillar that large is going to be a challenge.

Might have to settle for a huge mushroom or something.

>>1670297
If it comes to that we can just mutate a normal mushroom into a huge one with our goop.

>>1670285
The funny thing is that they'd give even less of a shit about it than Kaizar

>writing

>>1670324
Well yeah, I mean that is how they think you're supposed to introduce yourself. They're really out of touch what with the palaces and eating their god and the only women around being a huge fat chick and a couple of zanpakto spirits.

>>1670334
And Shutara but she might also have a cyber dong

>>1670334

To be fair this is a universe devised by Kubo, for all we know dropping something the size of a fucking oil tanker on someone's head probably has some historical significance and if they didn't some noble dick somewhere would be in a tizzy.

If we really want to fuck with them we invite them somewhere without crushing them with a large object. It'll be like giving them a handshake while wearing a full bodysuit made of raw salmon.

>>1670345
A specially slimy handshake.
One which is specially made to be really hard to wash off.
A constant reminder to not fuck with the fear eater.

>>1670339
I'm 200% sure she's not a she but instead just a robot with fake tits.

File: zero_division__protectors(...).jpg (286 KB, 1600x1195)

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"That's nice!"
You try to return the monks gaze with one of your signature murder stares and fail miserably.
Somehow having your own fear tactics used against you left you in quite a shock.
"Now I know who you are. Do I have to ask Shunsui why you are here or will you finally answer me?"

"Ohoho!
Well... if you insist...
I'm Ichibe Hyosube and I'm what you might call the man in charge of our "division".
These behind me, from left to right, are Kirio Hikifune, Tenjiro Kirinji, Senjumaru Shutara and Oetsu Nimaiya."

"So...
Ichibe-"

"Please don't use my name.
Ever."
He speaks in a rude tone as if suggesting that you are not worthy to even address him.
"Call me Osho or Monk."

You don't like his attitude.
"Ichibe Hyosube..."

Ichibe grins at that.
"Oh you did it!
Told you not to do it!"

"Why wha-"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzWsLaolyLw

But then you find your sentence cut short.
Quickly you reach for your throat as you feel a sharp pain swelling within it.
As you attempt to open your mouth and sound your voice all you feel is an ever increasing sensation of pain.
Slowly your neck is getting smothered by some sort of an invisible force, to the point where even breathing is getting difficult.
Struggling for air you start hearing the wet noise mixed with crunching sounds as your wind pipe gets crushed.

Hunched forward you look up at the monk who is still grinning at you.
"My name is something that shouldn't be uttered by the likes of you.
Even within the Gotei 13 you'd have a hard time finding one worthy of saying it.
But a hollow? It might as well be a death sentence.
...
Names carry power Kaizar Soize-"
He put a lot of emphasis on your name this time.
"Remember that well!"

More angry than scared about your situation you dig into your own neck with your fingernails and penetrate your own throat.
After puncturing a hole into your windpipe you are able to breathe once more.
With your focus returning to you it's an easy task focusing your healing on your throat and within moments the damaged area begins to fizzle.

>>1670370
OY spooks
Can we kill 'im?
Just murderfuck him a little
He'll live

>>1670376
Y-You want to fuck with... him?
Heck! Fuck with ALL of them at once?!

>>1670380
Just a little.

>>1670380
WE DIDN'T GET THIS FAR AND GET A HOT SHARK WIFE BY BEING A PUSSY!

>>1670380
ALL OF THEM, RIGHT HERE AND NOW.

>>1670382
erm... okay...

Anyone else?

>>1670382
And I dunno 'bout you hon.
But I think you may be overdoing their power level a bit.
They ain't gods.

>>1670391
no

>>1670391
And most likely we won't wind up fighting.
There are bigger evils to be had.
Plus the monk is really fucking annoying to kill.

>>1670394
ERM!!!!

Not sayin' anything here...

Okay, next update will be cut short for a quick decision

>>1670391
pass

>>1670391
no

>>1670370
With that music i think there's only one thing we can do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQd0VXDm55U

You stare up at the man before you and after seeing his smug expression something begins to stir within you.
A calming feeling. A gentle feeling. A familiar feeling.
Hate.
You hate this man.
He reminds you of Aizen a bit and you don't like it one bit.

>"Noted. Now here's my lesson..." (Punch him)
>Destroy him. Verbally
>Just growl a bit and tell him to get to the point
>Other? (write-in)

This vote will be quick

>>1670382
Hey man, if it was just one of them I'd be all for it. But it's all of them. Don't act dumb.

>>1670370
>Ichibe calling us unworthy of even his name
The all-powerful Hogyoku would like to contest that claim

>>1670417
>"Noted. Now here's my lesson..." (Punch him)

>>1670417
>>Just growl a bit and tell him to get to the point
play it smart, they could use Rike and the kid as a hostage.

>>1670417
>>"Noted. Now here's my lesson..." (Punch him)

>>1670417
>>Just growl a bit and tell him to get to the point

>>1670417
>>"Noted. Now here's my lesson..." (Punch him)

>>1670417
>>Just growl a bit and tell him to get to the point

>>1670417
>Just growl a bit and tell him to get to the point
Niggas y'all got a deathwish

>>1670417
>Destroy him. Verbally
Sup Spoopy

>>1670417

>"Noted. Now here's my lesson..." (Punch him)

He's askin' for it.

>>1670439
Not much.
Got a bit scared there for a moment but it seems that people aren't that foolhardy.

>writing

>>1670443
I thought about it as well but changed my mind remembering how OP they're supposed to be when not facing Quincies

>>1670455
Even then... they bodied the SS.
Before Jesus gave them a boost anyway.

Still, that means they axed C and M as well as X and D.

That's insane.
They beat everyone except Jesus himself.
People just tend to ignore that because what a big letdown they were over all

>>1670468
They still are a huge letdown.
But, we are no pushover.
Fucking hell, Aizen was already a first rate dick, now we have these assholes to deal with.

>Einherjar make us immune to the curse on ichibe's name because of their penchant for rebuilding things to be resistant to what damaged them

>>1670468
Still wanted to punch the guy.

Ah well it's like Aizen, bide your time get stronger, and then get revenge on them for being a dick.

>>1670475
That would be neat.

Stand back up and just say his name like it ain't no thang

I don't think it works like that, unfortunately.

>>1670479
I mean, our einherjar DO rebuild us to be slightly more resistant to the things that damaged us. I think it could work. Maybe not on the first time saying it, but a few times could do it.

>>1670484
Do eeeet.

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Looking at the man before you with fire practically burning in your eyes you swallow all that vitriol in an attempt to control yourself.
But as you growl to yourself you fail to perceive something going on in the background.

A small figure slowly makes her way between you and the Royal Guard with her sword in hand.
With her back turned to you Sofia faces the monk and slowly raises her still sheathed sword and brings it down like the hammer of judgment it is.
Except this time it isn't a kind little love tap but rather something that has actual force behind it.

With a loud SMACK the monk is left rubbing the very top of his head.
"Ouch!
Hey! What gives?!"

Sofia stares him straight in the eye and makes herself a little stairway out of reishi so she could be level with him.
"Ichibe Hyosube... You are a big mean bully.
Which is not nice."

There is a pause after she finishes her sentence.
All eyes are on your little daughter.
A few moments pass. Still silence.

Then you start to notice the beads of sweat appearing on the Royal Guard as well as the other shinigami present.
After that their eyes start to bulge outward.
It's a rather comedic scene.

"L-Little girl... could you repeat that?
My hearing is not that good."
Ichibe makes a weak attempt to trick Sofia.

"You are a big bully."

"Before that."

"...
Ichibe Hyosube?"

Still nothing.

"Uh-Oh..."
Unable to keep his composure the monk lets that slip out.

From behind the monk one of them speaks up.
You believe he is the one name Kirinji.
"See?
I told you this is messed up!
She has the exact same signature that we detected when our cameras went out!"

You raise an eyebrow at that.
"Never mind that...
Actually I'll get to the point now.
We've come here because of you.
More specifically because of your continuous interference in the Soul Societys business."

"Interference?
That's a fun way of saying that I saved your hide multiple times."

The monk begins wagging his finger.
"Nuh-uh.
We are a separate organization from the Gotei 13.
We had nothing to do with you.
And the fact that they needed outside help in the first place speaks volume of their incompetence.
But your issues still stand. A hollow has no place within the Soul Society."

At this Shunsui walks up from behind you.
"I'm sorry... I don't mean to interrupt but I heard complaining and I simply HAD to join in.
If you are so eager to blame us Osho then how about Your supposed duties?
Isn't the slaying of Menos a part of the 0 Divisions duties? If so you haven't done your job for the past couple hundred years whereas we made a few messes that we cleaned up in less than a week."

"Oh? So you preferred if we removed these "Menos" right now?"

"No... I'm saying people in glass houses...
But you know how that goes I'm sure of it.
Heck you'd probably make the claim that you invented that proverb."

"...
Watch yourself Captain Kyoraku.
You might say something you'll regret..."

"Ha! Good luck with that!"

m80s you touch the daughteru and OMG and Ywach fusing with alternate reality BullterflAizen couldn't stop us from eating your soul.

>>1670540
We will show them what this embodied wonder of German engineering can do on a bad day.

>>1670531

We have the best fucking daughter, oh my god.

Also best Shinigami coming through with the back up burn.

"Do you value your life so little?"

"Nah...
I just don't care enough about you to bother not insulting you.
Also the only time I ever regret anything is when I have a hangover..."

You snap at this.
"Hey you two!
It's nice to see you bonding but can we get to the point already?!
WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"

"Hmmm..."
The monk stops and after running his fingers through his beard he points at Sofia.
"Her."

"Come again?!"

"It's been bad enough that you crawled in and out of the Seireitei as you pleased.
But we decided to leave things up to the Captain Commanders judgment.
However by bringing her here you've crossed a line."

You frown at that.
"Which is?"

"Bringing something potentially dangerous to the Seireitei, jeopardizing its security."

"So... you're aware of my daughter.
You spoke of a surveillance system.
...
Which means you were spying on us."

"But of course.
However that... girl managed to cause such extensive damage to our network that we've been cut off from Hueco Mundo."

"Hmph... Good."

"And by bringing her here you threaten to cause even more damage to the Soul Society as a whole."

You pause for a moment.
"So...
You want me to leave and never return?"

"Not exactly.
We are more... civilized than that.
We respect Genryusai-donos decision.
But we think it's about time you stopped doing as you please and obey our laws while you're here.
Which means-"

"Oh no."
You and Shunsui speak up at the same time.

"Answering the the Central 46."

There is an audible silence after that.
"Y-You want to take Kaizar Soize directly to the Central 46?!
Why? What do you hope to gain from this?"

"That he adheres to our laws.
The Central 46 have been ignored up until now regarding this matter.
That can not go on.
They are the ruling body as per the Soul Kings decree.
It's about time they got a say in this matter."

Then the monk looks at you expectantly.

>If that satisfies you... I'll accept
>What makes you think you have authority over me?
>I don't have to take this from you. Sofia, we're leaving.
>I answer to no one (threaten him)
>Other? (write-in)

>>1670583
>>I don't have to take this from you. Sofia, we're leaving.

There has to be a line drawn.

>>1670583
>What laws have I been breaking, beyond the apparent crime of being what I am?

>>1670583
>If that satisfies you... I'll accept

>>1670583
>I don't have to take this from you. Sofia, we're leaving.
>Tell The Old man it was pleasant but it seems the hirer ups wish to cut down any chance at friendship.

>>1670583
>>I don't have to take this from you. Sofia, we're leaving.

>>1670583
>I don't have to take this from you. Sofia, we're leaving.
Never speak to me or my daughter again

>>16705832
>What makes you think you have authority over me?
>I don't have to take this from you. Sofia, we're leaving.

He doesn't have the right to say shit to us, hell considering how often SS fucks the pooch none of them do.

>>1670587 is right. We don't have to take this shit and we ain't gonna.

They can bite our slimy hollow ass.

>>1670583
point out that this bastard clearly doesn't respect our laws because not once, not twice, but three times now have soul reapers snuck into ghost mexico

>>1670583
>>What makes you think you have authority over me?

>>1670613
Indeed, and we also do not spy them every damn second.
It's just unfair treatment on something which is currently starting to resemble order.

We are both sides of the same coin, there has to be respect, even if there's enmity.

>>1670583
>Does this mean that you will acknowledge all that myself and my friends and family have built as a legitimate entity?

>writing

And this may be the last couple updates today.
I'm a bit beat already.
But rest assured now I'll get back to doing regular sessions

the royal guard really hasn't got a single fucking leg to stand on, heck they don't even clean up soul societies own mess, we have had to do it every single fucking time,

Fuck these assholes

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You look at the monk and after making up your mind speak up.
"Does this mean you recognize us as a legitimate entity?"

"Hmmmm?
What do you mean?"

"You expect me to yield to your laws.
Does that mean you'll obey mine?
Will you respect us and our authority?
Will you no longer spy on us?"

Ichibe just frowns at this.

"I see.
Is it that foreign of a concept to you?
The thought never even crossed your mind, did it?
Craving everything yet unwilling to sacrifice anything...
Are you this desperate?
Or... Do you feel your sun setting? Do you fear the end of your own era?"

You look at Sofia and take her hand.
"Come on Pumpkin.
We're leaving. We don't have to take this from them... or anyone."

"Do you think this is the end of things Kaizar Soize?"

"Yes.
Unless you WANT war.
Then the end will be when I mount your head on a spike... Ichibe Hyosube."

You feel the crushing sensation of your throat collapsing once more.
But this time you can just barely manage to breathe.
After a few moments your windpipe heals and you resume.

Then you turn to Kyoraku.
"My apologies for things having to end on such a sour note Captain.
Would you do me a favor and tell the Commander that it was a pleasurable visit but if we want to continue with improving our relations we'll have to discuss a few things...
Oh and send my regards to Ukitake, I hope his recovery is progressing well."

Kyoraku tips his hat as he joins in on your act to piss off the Royal Guard.
"Oh he is.
Since your operation he has become quite a pain.
Always walking around, never having a time to share a drink with me....
So sure I'll relay the message Arrancar-san."
Then he looks at Sofia.
"Take care young Lady!"

"Bye-bye!"
Sofia waves to the friendly shinigami.

After quickly opening the Garganta and not going through all the official procedures like you normally do out of consideration you step through.
On the way however you hear a faint voice calling out to you.
And it's not Sofia.

"Young Master..."

"What is it you wish?"

"Master... I think I understand now why you felt so deeply disgusted by Muramasa."
You don't respond to him.
"The Royal Guard... their flesh and blood, their bones, their hair. All of it is infused by the unique energy of the Soul King itself.
They are no Guardians... They are parasites feasting upon a being similar to myself.
And I find that repugnant."

"So... that is the reason why they are so ungodly strong..."

"Be careful Master!
If they received anything beyond a mere boost to their spiritual energy then... I'm afraid they are out of your reach...
For now."

You pause for a moment.
"Let's put that to the test, shall we?
Ichibe Hyosube!"

You feel a sharp pain in your throat, like jamming a knife into it.

"Better..."

Aaaand that's the end for today.

Archive's up and I already have an idea for an Omake later this week.
If you have anything you want turned into a short story or a topic I missed feel free to notify me

>>1670806
Does Ichibe know when people say his name? He does, right? We should say his name from time to time just to annoy the shit out of him.

>>1670822
Kaizar will practice it from time to time.
Just to see how well adjusted he is

>>1670806

Classy as fuck. Now that is how you make an exit.

>>1670815

Thanks for running Spooky

>>1670815
You did well Spooks, you thoroughly managed to make me feel disgusted at the monk not that it's hard
This is proof of good writing, being able to coax a big reaction with simple prodding.
Cheers

>>1670806
>We're going to train out of our ass to resist ichibe's powers through his name curse
Oh, I know EXACTLY why I have this boner right now!

>>1670806
For now? Are we gradually becoming stronger or something?

>>1670815
how about like an omake about people who are fans of the top hollows, like us, mantis, shark and staark and we hear rumours about us around ghost mexico

>>1670838
We have an adaptive physiology.
German engineering at it's finest.

>>1670838
Kaizar is always growing stronger. Every few days, in fact, just a little bit. That's without even training. Now that we know there are still threats out there we have impetus to get double swole.

>>1670815

Thanks for running, Spooky!

>>1670815
For an Omake can you do the reactions of the Royal Guard when we left.

I want to know what they were thinking when we politely told them to fuck off an eat shit.

>>1670858
I can do one on the monk but I don't want to make it too long...

Let's just say that the Royal Guard are not yet done

>>1670842
Hehe that's actually pretty fun.

Something like the Shinigami Men Association?
A small club of goofballs only they are interested in the top dogs?

>>1670928
yes

Omake where Aizen was never actually executed despite his sentencing,
just given to Mayuri

Was the monk this asshole in the manga as well?

>>1673298
That's... an interesting question.
It's certainly up for debate.

But they were a bit douchey if not entirely malicious.... on the surface at least.
One could argue that they were only friendly because they needed the shinigami downstairs.

In the new novel however (which has at least some canonicity because Kubo is involved in it) they were revealed to be full blown evil and the main reason why Aizen and Kaname were a thing in the first place

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Omake #1: Calm after the storm

"The end will be when I mount your head on a spike... Ichibe Hyosube."

These words ring hollow in the monks ear.
Not because of any sense of danger but simply due to the fact that he never expected anyone would have the gall to threaten him like that.
But now that the danger is over and away the shinigami can breathe freely once more.

As Ichibe looks around he notices Kyoraku casually walking up to the two other shinigami present.
"My apologies Lady Kamaitachi.
I wish things didn't get so rudely interrupted."

"Oh... Oh nononono!"
Rike apologizes in a flustered manner.
"Please Captain there is no need to bow like that!
It's nothing! Really!!"

"Please... don't wound me like that my lady.
If a man can't even apologize to a young girl then what good is he?"
He then casually raises a hand and escorts the two shinigami to the exit.
After waving them off Shunsui returns to the 0 Division.

"Hmph...
You sent them away..."
The monk looks at him.

"Do you not approve?"

"Sadly I don't.
We wished to discuss matters with those two."

"Well then.
I believe you can bring that up to the Captain Commander once he gets here."
And just as Kyoraku finishes his sentence Yamamoto Genryūsai Shigekuni appeared in a flash of nigh searing reiatsu.
With a coy smile slowly creeping its way to Kyorakus mouth he pats the monk on his shoulder.
"I'll just leave you to it then."

Once Shunsui briskly scuttled away Yamamoto walked up to the monk.
"Ichibe Hyosubi."

"Commander Yamamoto.
It's been too long."

"Hmph...
And whose fault is that?"

"You do know our duties.
We are busy people Commander."

"Hmph...
It seems that the years were even less kind to you then me whelp...
To think that one I once called my equal a thousand years ago has sunk so low."

The monk narrows his brows but shows no other sign of frustration or anger.
"You seem to be implying that I'm the one in the wrong here Commander.
But it was You who made dealings with a hollow of all things... behind the back of the Central 46."

"Hmph...
The Central 46 have been wiped out by Aizen Sosuke.
In their absence I was granted authority over all matters."

"But that's no longer the case."

"We both know they'd never accept that."

"It is still the law...
But I can't believe you Yamamoto...
You of all people... making friends with a hollow."

"Hmph...
Tell me Monk.
In the last thousand years... how many times have you come down here?
How many times did you aid us in need?
Because that hollow did more to us than you... one of our own."

"You are letting your emotions influence you...
Personal bias has no right to exist within an organization like the Gotei 13...
But back to your other point...
It is not our problem that the Seireitei is incompetent.
If you end up wiping out yourself that's on you. Either it's your incompetence or weakness.
Not our problem.
We have greater things to worry about."

"Hmph... then I'll pray to you Ichibe.
For when you awaken the Fear Eater... it will be Your problem..."

Shutara steps forth at that.
"Thank you for your kindness Commander.
But your concern is unnecessary.
We both know he poses no threat."

Yamamoto closes his eyes at that.
"It's not concern Lady Senjumaru...
Somebody will have to."
With that the captain commander turned around and showed his back to the Royal Guard.
"I expect all of you to leave immediately.
Don't let us to keep you from your... important duties."

Following that incident the Royal Guard did as ordered.
All of them began their long journey to find the one person that can return them from whence they came.
As the monk single handedly carried the Tenchuren his fellows begin talking in an attempt to break the awkward silence.

"So..."
Shutara begins.
"What are the impressions?"

"I'm just glad it's over with.
I dunno... just looking at 'im made my skin crawl."
Kirinji adds.

"Hmmm...
How strange."
Kirio adds.
"I felt that too."

"Ah come one!
Y'all are actin' like ye'r blind!
Cracka was obviously rockin' some super reiryoku..."

The monk nods.
"Yes Oetsu...
It seems like he got his hands on... that.
This complicates things."

Shutara begins thinking for a moment.
"So Sosukes device is still around...
No wonder the Arrancars numbers swell so rapidly.
...
I didn't think I'd say this Osho but mayhaps the Commander was right.
The hollow is much more dangerous than we thought."

"Indeed.
And I shudder to think about the implications.
To think that the monster would use that horrid abomination on his own daughter.
I'm afraid Yamamotos mind is too clouded by his love for his students.
The Fear Eater has him in his grasp."

Oetsu just grins at that.
"I think y'all are just over reactin'!
Personally I think it's... interesting.
Hmmmm... yes. Veeery interesting."

"It seems you are still as unrefined as ever Toshin.
I can read your mind by just looking at your face."

"Shutara mah gurl!
Subtelty is for fools that are afraid to show what they are thinkin'!
Either that or they are ashamed."

"Now now..."
Kirio interjects.
"We agreed before we came here! No bickering!"

Kirinji chews on his stick hard as he keeps walking.
"Ugh... this is why I hate hanging out with you guys.
Either things go apocalyptic or so shit that the end of the world would be an improvement!"

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But as he keeps going on the monk stops.
"Okay, that's enough out of you!
We've arrived!
Can we at least try and look the part while we're here?
I'd rather not make a fool of myself before one of the great noble ones..."

He speaks and looks at the two massive stone arms sprouting from the ground.
Then he swallows nervously.
"On a second thought...
Let's just get through this in one piece."


Omake #1: THE END

Oi motherfuckers best not be talking shit about best daughteru. That's a paddling. Also,

>BTFO by OMG
Best Genocide.

>>1677328
Could've lessened up the hmph but nice omake. Thanks Spooky

>>1677325
>They think we've been using the hogyoku to create artificially induced arrancars
What fools. Their surveillance system is clearly wasted on people with such basic, inferior observational skills.
If they can't even deduce the cause of all of this, then they need to get out of their neetpalace a LOT more. They've clearly started to go retarded from it. You can't just shitpost on soulchan all day, after all.

>>1677328

About as much as I expected really.

Welp looks like we're going to have to put these fuckers on the List, if they don't do that themselves.

>>1677572
Mmmm yes,

Redundancy was always an issue of mine.
Or at least I spend way too much time trying to write without using the same words often (and failing in some cases).

But thanks for the feedback anyway

Omake #2: Hollow Fame

The Hueco Mundo Adoration club!
Or HMA for short.

A small coalition of hollows.
Most people aren't even aware of their existence.
But those that share their views... are bound to find them.
And, as their name suggests, the thing that binds these varying individuals is the practice of almost religious following of the most prominent individuals of Vanaheim and Hueco Mundo in general.

Though their differing ideas caused them to splinter into three distinct subgroups they are still part of a greater whole and members of certain groups at the very least tolerate those that they do not agree with.
The first and by far the largest faction within them is the Tara and their interests is perhaps the most simple: The adoration of the most famous, powerful or otherwise beautiful women.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDMErmFaWlA

Naturally such a broad view attracts many individuals with differing tastes such as simple men looking for the most aesthetically pleasing women, other women who simply wish to find role models OR women who are just like the men.
Still their numbers and the fact that most members were part of the original creators of the club means that they are the ones coordinating and leading the rest.

And it is one of their members that is currently speaking.

"Attention please!"
The announcer behind the podium speaks up and clears his throat.
"With all of us present!
I declare this session open!!
Now then... Onto the first point of our agenda!"

The club president begins shuffling a set of papers around, trying to find the one he needs.
Once finding he cheers up and looks at his fellows.
"I'm happy to announce that last weeks bake sale was a stellar success!"
He raises his hand and points to one of the corners of the room which houses several large and muscle-bound men, with some of them wearing pink tank-tops and such.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixra1Fl0eM8

"And we couldn't have done it without the generous contribution of the MMA!"
The speaker continues.
"Their home made cupcakes practically carried our entire operation!
You should feel proud!"

The man representing his group speaks up while his fellows simply keep flexing in the background.
"There is no need for thanks my brother!
We were happy that our hobbies were of use!"

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The MMA, or the Manly Men Association, is the larger of the two splinter factions within the HMA.
Unlike their more... conventional comrades their focus is instead on the male physique.
They have taken to an almost religious worship of Vanaheims strongest men, with full body illustrations of them being hung up all over the gym where members of the HMA work out for the sake of motivation.
Perhaps they are the one subgroup with the most cohesion due to their "pure" interests and because the only thing that could spark an argument is if someone is "hogging the protein".

All that these men care about is the adoration of the male form and using the strongest individuals such as Kaizar Soize, Marr, Coyote Starrk or Nnoitora Giga as examples. Something for which they must strive for.
And even if one or two members have more... lewd feelings towards men then they keep it out of the gym as it would be considered "fucking gay bro".

But back to the topic at hand.

With an acknowledging nod the announcer turns to the other side.
"But of course it'd be rude of us to ignore your contribution ladies!
If it weren't for your assistance then it's certain that the administrative work would have crushed us."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwPLwX9aluY

A small and timid girl tries to avoid eye contact with the man behind the podium.
She adjust the trims of her large glasses and mumbles softly something.
"Y-You're welcome...
Just don't ask us next time."

They are the last and the most... "disliked" faction within the club.
Their name is simple and self explanatory: The Fujoshi.
And while there is no open hostility between them and the other groups it's not a rare thing that the others try to distance themselves from these lecherous women who care only about who does who (potentially) up the butt.

"Now we've done the counting and-"
The man continues.
"we've managed to not only reach but GREATLY exceed our initial goals!"
He swings his arm around to point his open palm at a woman sitting in the front row.
"Miss Urodela!
If you would be so kind!"

File: Urodela (totally not Baiken).png (139 KB, 250x406)

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A woman with long pink hair and yellow markings all over her body walks up to the podium.
As she walks she raises her long pipe and inhales the fumes from it deeply.
Once up there she blows out a puff of smoke and then reaches into a pouch at her side to refill her pipe with a strange yellow powder.

"Jeez... you really didn't have to go through all that trouble."

The man then grabs a large bag full of the new currency currently being implemented by Vanaheim and hands it to Lady Urodela.
"Please it was no trouble!
You are one of us and we look out for each other!"

The lady then draws another breath of mildly toxic fumes and then pulls out her trusty glove and puts it on.
"Ugh... Fine!
Bunch of fools... doing something like this behind my back."
Once she made sure that she won't immediately poison the man before herself by just touching him she takes the bag.

Clearly satisfied by this the man grins.
"And please... do notify us when the new playground will be complete!
We'd at least like to see the fruits of out hard work."

With the money secured she begins walking out the front door and back to the orphanage she's running.
"Fine, fine."
She waves them off.
"Swear to god some people..."
Urodela mutters to herself.

>>1680370
>Vanaheim will have a playground
...Does soul society even have those? It's such a shithole outside of where the shinigami reside, and the shinigami (official and in training) themselves are treated fairly seriously.

>>1680356
>gym as it would be considered "fucking gay bro".

God fucking bless, I already love the MMA in the most muscular of ways.

>>1680370
Is that a new person? Who the fuck is Urodela

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But with her out of the picture the different groups begin to disperse slowly.
The man at the podium breathes deeply now that the big thing has been taken care of and grabs another set of papers.
"Now then... onto the next thing...
He raises up a picture of a particular arrancar lady to his fellows.
"This picture was taken of Mrs Marsh just a few days ago!
As you can clearly see she hasn't bothered to comb her hair like she usually does and she ditched her usual attire for something more... casual."

"That's hot."
One voice speaks up bruntly and without much care for grace.

"Yeah, that's hot.
So with her hair let down like that and this new look... I'd say it gives her a certain "freshness"."

"Yeah! Her gothic lolita outfit was getting a bit old!"

"So... we are in agreement?
Do we give everyones favorite sadist the honor of being in the top five once more?
All in agreement?"
All hands are in the air.
"Well... that takes care of that!"

And so went another meeting for the HMA with barely anyone being even aware of their existence.

Omake #2: The End

>>1680384
Some anon once requested I add a slamander.
So I did

>>1680390
aw fuck that's dope

>>1680390
You're such a nice QM Spooky. Thanks for the Omake. It was an adorable read.

When does the MMA make its appearance on the front line. During the Quincy invasion arc?

>>1680398
Probably never,

...

Or when the Z shows up.
Can't decide

File: mayuri-close.jpg (42 KB, 848x480)

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Omake #3: Colliding Ideologies (non-canon)

A ravaged battlefield unfolds.
Rubble lies wherever the eye can see.
The invading humans have caused much destruction in their wake, but nothing that can't be repaired.
For their crimes they've already been punished: Abarai Renji, a shinigami lieutenant, lies on the ground with fever dreams clouding his mind and vision.
And Ishida Uryu, a quincy who lies paralyzed on the ground. His condition differs from that of the soul reaper as his body is free of any and all toxins. His numbness comes from a much simpler thing: Electroshock.

But that doesn't matter as two titans, living embodiments of science wage a deadly war of attrition around them.
However it appears that the victor has already been decided...

"Why aren't you dead yet?"
Yata asks with annoyance.

At this Mayuri raised his hand to his ear in a mocking manner.
"Oh?
Did you say something?
It almost sounds like your so called perfect strategy didn't work!
Very well, I'll indulge you.
See that quincy over there? I fought with him once..."

"I don't follow..."

"And it is one of my favorite tricks to infect everyone I encounter with surveillance bacteria!
Meaning that the second you revealed your power to them I've already analyzed every one of your moves and developed a countermeasure to them!
While it was daunting at first I found it to be much easier to boost my immune system to superhuman levels than to develop an antibody against each and every variation of your disease.
In other words! You... can't... hurt me!"

Hearing this Uryu slams the ground with what little motor control he still has in his arms.
"HEY WAIT A MINUTE!"

"Oh boy... here we go again..."
Mayuri speaks in a bored tone.

"DAMN STRAIGHT!
HOW DARE YOU USE ME AS YOUR LAB RAT?!"

"Actually you're more like a remote camera. A device."

"THAT'S NOT-"
But before he could continue the young Ishida received another jolt of electricity.

"Be quiet.
You can discuss these things with each other later...
But right now... We play by my rules."
Yata concludes and turns back to the shinigami.
Slowly clapping he speaks up.
"Well done Captain.
You've certainly outplayed me."
He keeps clapping.
"It seems that you've managed to defeat my ability with ease. And judging by the fact that you are still standing you've not only did that but so much more, such as suppressing your own immune system from killing you.
I'm impressed.
But... tell me something. How exactly do you plan to defeat me?
Or... don't tell me. You actually assume that you'll win just because you've managed to outsmart me?"

"Ugh... how boring...
Everybody is so chatty tonight."
Mayuri looks at the arrancar before him.
"It's so noisy... I think I'll just end this right away and get to collecting samples.
I'm not in the mood for a live dissection..."
He draws his blade.
"Bankai."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FS1lKA2GNF0

"Rip! Konjiki Ashisogi Jizō!"

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As the giant larvae descends from the heavens his vile breath begins to fill the area beneath it.
With the spreading fog Yata first tries to get away but once he realizes that escape is impossible he simply stops.
Slowly but surely his skin begins to change color as the toxin seeps in through his pores.

"Hmmm...
Poison?"
He grins.
"Please. I use stronger stuff than this in my cigarettes."

"Oh I have no doubt.
However it doesn't need to kill you.
Just slow you down."

"Huh?!"

As Yata looks up the enormous baby lets out an ear splitting howl and charges him furiously.
Though mostly unaffected by the poison he still finds it difficult to move and escape.
Within moments the living bankai gobbles him up as if he was a sample of fried chicken.

Listening closely Mayuri lets out a wide smile.
"Aaaand that takes care of that."
He looks up at his bankai and starts ordering it around.
"Okay you can spit him out now... I want at least SOME samples to collect."

But just as he finishes Ashisogi Jizo begins coughing hard.
It tries to spit out the contents of its mouth but the insect finds his throat swollen to the point where it begins choking and its muscles unresponsive.
As the bugs flesh begins to bubble and eventually explode into meaty chunks a black figure slowly crawls out of its mouth.
Slowly it reaches for an intact syringe and after jamming it in himself Yata stands up as if nothing happened to him.

"Nice try...
But you made a gross miscalculation.
If you wanted me dead... then you should have ordered the thing to swallow me whole.
You see, I store my viruses within my body. Should I get grievously wounded most of them would be let out at once."

But Mayuri ignored most of that and instead focused on the empty vial left behind by the arrancar.
Noticing this Yata begins to gloat.
"Ah, fancy that?
I remember you having a similar serum in development.
However... I'm afraid it's not even a contender.
Your meager attempts at copying us is amusing but you should really just stop.
After all... every time you copy perfection you just end up with something inferior."

That struck a nerve for the captain.
He looks at his side and begins barking orders.
"Nemu..."

"Acknowledged."

With a quick shunpo Lieutenant Kurotsuchi disappears from sight.
Her surprising burst of speed is so great that even Yatas scanners have a hard time keeping up with her.
After but a fraction of a second she appears behind the arrancar and puts him into a full nelson.

Struggle as he might Yata is simply not strong enough to shake his assailant off.
"L-Let go of me you cheap doll!"

"As you wish."
Nemus arms move quick, quick enough that her victim is unable to escape while she fulfills her orders.
She grabs a syringe from behind her lieutenant badge and quickly jams it into Yatas chest.
With the blue liquid filling the hollows system she lets go of him and returns to her masters side.

File: Spoiler Image (1.55 MB, 1024x1391)

1.55 MB PNG

"Perfection you said?
Well I have to tell the honest truth...
As I see it, in this world nothing perfect exists!
It may be a cliché... but it's the way things ARE!
That's why ordinary men pursue the concept of perfection!"
He shrugs.

"It's infatuation!
But ultimately I have to ask myself: What is the true meaning of perfect?
And the answer is simple: Nothing. Not... one... thing!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5uS0Um9YzA
"The truth of the matter is: I despise perfection!
If there is something truly perfect, that's IT!"

Mayuri begins walking towards his now unmoving opponent, slowly raising his blade at Yata.

"There is no more room for imagination, no space for intelligence or ability or improvement!
Do you understand? To men of science like us perfection is a dead end!"
The captain pierces Yatas hand.

"Always strive to become better than anything that came before but never per-"
And that's the moment when the arrancars open fingers slam shut and grab hold of Ashisogi Jizo while it's still embedded in his palm.
"WHAT?!"
Mayuri reels back and jumps away from the hollow that he was about to finish off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoMrkPLBuCs

"An amusing speech Captain buuuut..."
Yata pulls out the zanpakuto from his hand and raises it horizontally.
As Ashisogi Jizo begins to corrode into nothingness he keeps speaking.
"I DISAGREE!"
He closes his fist and the blade crumbles.

"H-How?
How could you overcome my superhuman drug?!"

"Whew...
Stop... speaking for a moment.
I need to readjust to your speed now that I came down."
Yata shakes himself a bit to regain his senses fully.
"You see captain... I often have enough drugs in my system to overdose entire cities if distributed equally between the citizens.
So I had to upgrade my metabolism in order to keep up with my copious use of drugs and alcohol.
Your little potion was amusing, truly! Maybe it was even amongst my top uh.... twenty best highs!
But sadly not the top ten. It faded too quickly..."

"N-no... that can't be!
Even if you're telling the truth you still experienced thousands, NO! Tens of thousands of years in these seconds!
How are you still conscious? How can you still function?!"

The crow begins cracking his neck and limbs as if to test their functionality.
After becoming certain that what he witnessed was indeed just a creation of his mind he begins to enlighten the captain.
"You see Kurotsuchi Mayuri... you're right.
It was a fucking long time. But it's not like I didn't make the most of it."

"What?!"

"in fact I had plenty of time at my hand... it was just a matter of occupying myself in that time.
Heck.. I even managed to lip read what you were rambling about during the millenia.
But I'll just give you an example..."
He spreads his arms welcomingly.
"In that distorted timeline... I planned.
Like a master chess player I am now aware of every possible move that can be made from this point onwards!
And believe me... you won't like how this ends!"

Yatas eyes begin to glow with murderous intent and a cold shiver runs through Nemu and her jaded captain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rllfr-_dhOk

"Your final solution will be the thing that undoes you Kurotsuchi Mayuri...
Give up!
There is nothing you can do now.
In fact... the only reason you are still alive is because I can't decide what to do with you once I finish!
You see... I've had time to come up with amusing ways to torture you!"

In that instance the lieutenant takes the initiative.
Her preemptive strike however backfires as a black feather sprouts from the leathery wings of the arrancar.
Yata plucks his new feather and chucks it at the shinigami so the quill penetrates her skin.
At the moment of impact the fragile projectile breaks apart, letting out the deadly disease housed within.
Within moments Nemus body disappears into nothingness as it's devoured by the virus.

Yata coughs up a bit of blood.
"Zona Muerta...
My strongest creation.
Not even I'm fully safe from it but...
That felt real fucking good!"

"N-Nemu d-di-"

"She got it good!
Maybe her demise couldn't have been MORE painful than this... but it only lasted a second.
You won't get that luxury!"
He begins walking towards the captain.
"As I said before... Every outcome of every branch of every scenario.
There is no move that you can't make that I haven't foreseen Kurotsuchi Mayuri.

But before the Captain could react or run away from his would be murderer he notices something.
Black feathers, much like the one that killed his lieutenant, began floating around him.
One by one they begin popping and the Captain slowly falls to his knees. As cold sweat begins to cover him the paint on his body gets diluted and washed off.
He lets out an ear splitting scream.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fRaWZji_Co

"You see Captain...
That's the difference between you and myself.
I prefer a much more... hands-on approach when it comes to psychological torture."
Yata tears off a piece of fabric from Mayuris haori and wipes the blood from his mouth.
"And... that bit about perfection.
We also differ there I suppose."

Yata takes out his trusty flask and takes a huge swig from it.
"I do believe in perfection.
Not because I've seen it, but that's also true.
I simply believe that attaining perfection was always the goal. If we never reach it... then, was it all meaningless?
I dread to think of that possibility.
It appears to me that you once tried to attain the coveted holy grail like I did but gave up on your way and tried to find an excuse to justify your failiure!
So before I'll get started I'll let you in on a little secret: Urahara Kisuke and Aizen Sosuke, those madmen did it.
You were simply... lacking."

Yata then takes out a knife from his pocket.
"Now then Captain...
Allow me to repay you for the millennia I had to spend away from my love!!!"

And so it happened that the Captain of the 12th division experienced things too horrid to even describe...

Omake #3: THE END

>>1682994
Wonderful

Is there gonna be a run today?

>>1688994
Guess not

>>1688994
Tomorrow (hopefully)