Last Thread: >>1459705Twitter: @The_RenexiziousDiscord: https://discord.gg/BbzTuraCharacter Sheet(Full!):https://drive.google.com/open?id=1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gUCharacter Sheet (Renexizious Only!): https://drive.google.com/open?id=1xgNKMzLUZS9L05DUCxmsvuYs-bGPIRpQsFv5k7oaBBk---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Last time on EDQ, anons diffused the situation in France and are taking care of the problem going on in Hansodr.Currently, the on-going situation in Hansodr is quite stable, besides for the fact your charging a town hall alongside a fascist milita...A small problem does show itself though, as due to your dragotaur form you are under a shitload of fire... Your armor might even break if your unlucky...Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you can get past the concentrated fire!+2 if you can find a way to stay low in your dragotaur form and expose yourself less.+2 if Ren can just miss all his wives lustfully and wish he didn't have to deal with this stupid uprising...
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1489962
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>1489962>Naruto Run>Why do I have to fight my own populace, when I could be having a good ime, tumbling all of my wives at once?
12+7=19You manage to get to the other side and flank the town hall... Two communist werewolves seem to be guarding this door...Roll me a 1d20+4 to take care of them!+3 if you can come up with a brutal way to beat up/kill werewolf communists!+2 if you can also be angry you can't be back home with your wives.+1 if you can also warm up a bit.
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>1490074Smash their heads together so hard you can't tell which is whichFuck these communists! They fucking take up my fucking time, fucking up my fucking time reserved for fucking my fucking beautiful fucking wives!
>>1490081Oh, and set some clothes on fire for us to wear as it burns
11+10=21You bash their head together until it's little more then brain matter on your chest. You steal their clothes nad set it on fire so you can wear it to stay warm and comfortable, and you kick down the door inside the town hall...A rather confused communist sniper sniffs the air and sees you...Roll me a 1d20+4 to fuck up this sniper.+3 if you can come up with a way to absoutely brutally kill this piece of shit!+2 if you can miss one of your wives in particular and think lustfully.
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1490085Stab him in the chest with his own gun, then shake it all aboutI just want to go home and use Elizabeth as 2 giant pillows
Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1490085
10+9=19You lunge forward and grab his rifle and try to impale him with it, but he dodges to the side and stabs you in the leg with a knife!It hurts a bit, but nothing to get worried about. He's disarmed too...Actions>Cast a spell?>Attack him physically!>Use his gun against him!>Scare him into backing down.>Write-in
>>1490092>>Attack him physically!We have horns for a reason
Roll me a 1d20+4 anon.+3 if you can come up with a more brutal attack.+2 if you can just think how fucking foolish it is to actually oppose you with your track record.+1 if you can think how your wives probably miss you and how you just fucking want work to be over with.
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>1490097
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>1490097Start the horn at the bottom, and move so fast that it cuts all the way throughI've killed in the thousands and what are the odds that anyone who isn't the white death is going to kill me?They are probably worried that I am going to freeze or get shot up and killed. I just want to get some sleep and forget about all of this
10+10=20You gore him and disembowel him with your horn, and continue on. You enter the main room and find a machinegunner and a few normal guys just firing...Roll me a 1d20+5 to clear house.+3 if you can find a way to take care of the machinegunner and other guys without the rest noticing.+2 if you can scare the shit out of them.
Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>1490107
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1490107Cut of their heads and store them on our horns for safekeepingSay boo right before you kill em?
Allowing a samefag if you can scare them a bit more.
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>1490112Make a chittering noise like a xenomorph
>>1490114How about roaring. I'm not sure if Ren can make that noise.
11+10=21You roar right into their ear, and quickly beat the shit out of them and rip their heads off and attach them to your fucking horns like a barbarian...You move up the stairs into the main room and find two guards who look at you, and are well, quite scared.Actions>Kill them too.>Walk by, they're not exactly going to do shit.>Scare them off.>Laugh demonically!>Write-in
>>1490125>>Laugh demonically!>Kill them too.
>>1490125>Walk by, they're not exactly going to do shit
Rolled 2 (1d2)Rolling.1=Walk by2=Kill them too.
Roll me a 1d20+4 to kill anons.+3 if you can find a way to brutally kill them and terrify them.+2 if you can be pissed they're making you spend time away from your loved ones.+1 if you can make them thankful you aren't in your dragon form.+1 if you can terrify them using the "heads on horns" shit.
Rolled 16 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1490173
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1490173Beat a motherfucker with a motherfucker"Lightly" stomp on their legsTake one off, and use it as a ventriloquist's dummy
>>1490204What do you mean by a ventriloquist's dummy?
>>1490210A ventriloquist puts a dummy on his hand and converses with it, while also speaking for the dummy. A good ventriloquist doesn't even appear to be speaking
16+8=24You beat the living shit out of the two guards before making one of them into a ventriloquist's dummy, your head firmly implanted through their head.You go into the "mayor's office" and go inside to see...An elf.And the mayor.The mayor himself is being held hostage, with the elf holding a gun to his head. You can clearly tell that the elf is a "communist" judging from the red beret and is clearly a misguided teen."Get any closer and I'll shoot him!" The elf yells.The mayor himself seems to be old, and quite "plump" and is a werewolf, remarkably. You find it somewhat comedic.What do with this hostage situation?>Beat the shit out of the communist elf anyways!>...Try to convince him to put down the gun?>Cast a spell?>...Try to talk about how you have a son like him? Try to guilt trip him!>Write-in
Roll me a 1d20 to see if this works.+2 if you can try to find other ways to make him sleepy.
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1490243Sing a lullaby
>>1490249No, that'd only work if you were Elizabeth.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1490256Sleeperhold?
Also does anyone have a problem with wasting a few million to get a flying yacht? Maybe design our own or something?http://www.messynessychic.com/2014/04/24/all-aboard-the-flying-yacht-circa-1950/They just seem cool as shit, plus a nice way to travel with our family.
>>1490269We are no-where near that tech level. Now if we went to WW2 dimension and got anti-grav tech, then sure!
>>1490275That plane they are talking about is from the 1950's and was a modified surplus WW 2 plane.We can do better.
Didn't deem samefagging anon.7Your sleep pheromones put the mayor to sleep, but not the elf... He seems naturally resistant."What the hell? Why did he fall asleep?"The elf seems a bit confused by this...Actions>Cast a spell.>Attack!>Try to persuade him?>Try to intimidate him?>Shapeshift.>...See if there's any demands?>Write-in
>>1490282It was an accident.>Cast a spell.That one ice thing that traps people
>>1490282>Write-in"So, can we just talk for a moment as I am really curious as to what the fuck you expected this minor revolt to achieve.I mean, was there an actual goal or were you all just suicidal?"
"So, can we just talk for one moment? I'm really curious as to what the fuck you expected this minor revolt to achieve. I mean, was there an actual goal or are you just all sucidial retards?'"I erm... I don't know?""...You don't know. Why the fuck don't you know?""I erm... I mean, I just heard that we were supposed to do it..."It's quite clear this elf knows nothing."Why the fuck did you join a bunch of communist retards?""Because they're for equality against the dragon, you know?""Aren't you already equal?""Yeah right! He thinks we're lower than dirt!""Really now? He thinks that, even though he has a bunch of fucking elven kids? One he can't even say hi to without his mother being pissed at him, and another practically being fucking adopted? Do you fucking think you know me at all? I have at least two kids with elven blood and somehow you fucks find a way to paint me as "the evil dragon overlord who wants to pull genocide for the laughs" or some fucking shit, you goddamned communist little spoiled piece of fucking shit...""Wait, your re-""YEAH I FUCKING AM AND YOU ARE A FUCKING PROBLEM RIGHT NOW SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!"He does so, as you take a breath."Now, why the fuck do you think you can overthrow a practically immortal dragon overlord. My wife would fucking murder you, hell all of them would if you even laid a hand on me, and they're a fucking giant breasted dragon, a very muscular minotaur, and a fucking vampire. You would be so fucked to even think you can take me on...""I erm... I mean, erm... We were drawing you into a trap."You laugh uncontrollably."A TRAP!? YOU FUCKING THINK A TRAP WILL ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING AGAINST ME!? I will have you fucking know I can turn into an eighty story dragon, fuck your mother so goddamn hard she'll be craving more. Why do you mortals even THINK you stand a chance against me?""I erm...""...Now, what the hell is this trap, and make it fast. I don't feel like talking all day.""I-I mean, why would I?"Actions>Tell me before I stop giving a shit and kick your ass.>You know what? Nevermind. I'm just going, the army can deal with this shit.>...A trap. Fucking commies.>Take a deep breath, and calm down.>Write-in
>>1490309>>Tell me before I stop giving a shit and kick your ass.>...A trap. Fucking commies.Is he... a trap?
>>1490309>Write-in"So I can find out who in the fuck thought a communist revolt against my rule was a good idea, show them it wasn't and so you can walk out of here with two legs that work instead of being dragged out as a cripple.">>1490320He is a male elf. So essentially.
>>1490269We're dragons. A flying yacht would be redundant.>>1490309>Take a deep breath, and calm down.
>>1490330By that logic we also shouldn't bother with having any cars, yet we often take trips in cars so we can travel in relaxing comfort with others.Also, we are quite slow when it comes to flying, if we get good jet engines and a sizeable fuel tank on the plane then we could potentially travel faster than we can fly ourselves.Lastly, it serves as a status symbol and a way to covertly travel the world by comparison to the fuck off huge dragon.There are more reasons but that should be enough.
>>1490331Cars and and fucking airborne yachts that require special research/construction are not the same thingAgain, more expenses that we don't need>Lastly, it serves as a status symbol and a way to covertly travel the world by comparison to the fuck off huge dragon.A large metal ship is not covert and a considering there are only a dozen or so dragons in the world, many of them our family, we're already a symbol of power by ourselves.
>>1490352>Cars and and fucking airborne yachts that require special research/construction are not the same thingAgain, we haven't got to do much to make a airborne vehicle like this: just make a large jet bomber and convert it by turning the bomb bays and such into living quarters.>Again, more expenses that we don't needSee you say that but we have a large surplus of money per month and easy ways to get more. Such as selling these to the rich.>A large metal ship is not covert It is compared to a dragon, especially if we make these things commercially for sale to the rich. Then it's just some millionaire on holiday. This is before mentioning that we could use it to prototype stealth coatings and other such things, making it far harder to spot outside of the old MK 1 spectra interpreter and MK 1 acoustic detection array.>we're already a symbol of power by ourselves.True but we aren't the right kind of symbol of power. This is classy and luxurious. We are strong and barbaric.
Rolled 13 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1490378If I remember right, passenger planes have existed for twelve years, give or take."So, who the fuck thought a communist revolt against my rule was a good idea? Show them it wasn't, and you can walk out of here with two legs that work instead of being dragged out as a cripple!""I don't know how!Ignore my roll anons.
You are half-tempted to break his legs, when you look outside...You notice something glowing oddly on a roof... It seems to be blue, strangly enough. This gets your attention more than the communist elf."What are you doing? Don't move or I blow his brains out!"Actions>Deal with the communist elf.>Try to identify that strange blue glow?>This must be the trap he's talking about... Take cover! (Kills the mayor!)>Write-in
>>1490393These aren't passenger planes OP. Essentially this is a mobile home / luxury apartment but in a plane that can land on water as well as on land.They are both the dumbest thing ever once you get into the digital age of communication but on the other hand, they sound fun to own and fly.Plus, the bitches.
>>1490398>Write-in"The roof is glowing blue. I think I will be going now and I would suggest you and your hostage do the same."Then turn around and walk out the door.
"Yeah... Erhm, the roof is glowing blue... I'm just leaving now, thanks."You quickly walk out the door, and as you go outside, you hear commotion, and communist and fascist turn around...You turn around too, and see a erm...A large robot. The building which was glowing blue seems to have vanished... Or was it that thing?You notice that a large TV screen turns on... And a...Gerbil is on.A Gerbil you know as Mr. Squeakers.It squeaks evily, and it seems to be very, very pissed at you. From what you interpt, it's pissed at you attacking it's home or what the fuck ever and is now going to try and kill you with a giant fucking mech.Well.Shit.Actions>...Cue large monster fight in your dragon form. Gerbil vs Dragon. Let it begin.>Yeah, no. Fuck this, let the giant mech just rampage.>...Laugh at the gerbil.>Write-in
>>1490415>>...Cue large monster fight in your dragon form. Gerbil vs Dragon. Let it begin.cant we just eat it?
>>1490415>Write-in"I never attacked your home strange gerbil controlled robot! I think you mean my wife! She's over in England at the moment, I don't suppose we could reschedule this?Or do you want me to fight you instead?"
>>1490423It's a sixty story mech, anon.
>>1490427And we are much bigger. I didn't mean in one gulp. Eat parts of him, and use it as fuel for lazers
>>1490436I'd assume so, sure."I never attacked your home, strange gerbil robot or whatever? I think you mean my wife, in England! I don't suppose we could resch-"It laughs evily, and shoots a rocket blindly towards a building.The gerbil pauses for one second, realizing something. He presses a button, and a very mechanical voice comes to mind."HELLO. IS THIS WORKING?"It seems to be angrily typing on a keyboard... Somesort of text to speech program?It also can't exactly hear you from your position.Actions>Shapeshift?>...If it can hear you, it'll have a hard time telling you who you are...>...Time to put rulership to the test. Try to delegate it to Elizabeth,.>Fight the giant mech.>Write-in
>>1490446>>...Time to put rulership to the test. Try to delegate it to Elizabeth,.
>>1490446>...Time to put rulership to the test. Try to delegate it to Elizabeth,.During the time it is going over there we can get ready to help her in the fight...
Roll me a 1d20+3 anons.+3 if you can describe to him what Elizabeth looks, sounds, and probably did.+2 if you can try to tempt him to not rampage in the local area and INSTEAD rampage in Elizabeth's lands.+1 if you can try to prevent suspicion by talking about some negatives about Elizabeth. (+1 if you can fuck up and instead just make her sound more appealing... At least to you. Like the slavery...)
Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>1490489"I think you are looking for my wife: English accent, buxom and probably either a human or a white scaled Yuan-ti?Also, I would point out that my military has been assembled around this town to deal with the revolt and would do some damage to you. So if you could just go peacefully we can avoid doing too much damage to one another."
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1490489
If anons want to pass, you just need to do the last of the bonuses.Also, if you want to pull an ultimiate jew move but require an additional roll, you can try to convince it to go where Elizabeth isn't and rampage. It wouldn't have any ties to your country either.
>>1490518Her boobs are so big I can barely hold them!
14+10=24"Well, I think your looking for my wife! She probably has a bit of an English accent, a large... Buxom... Boobs so big I can barely hold them, and probably is either a human or white-scaled yuan-ti. I'd recommend you go to England!"It seems to think this is a great idea... And presses a button. Large amounts of smoke and fire come from his boots, and it flies up to the heavens...Holy shit it has rocket boots.You want rocket boots.Now...Actions>Let Liz deal with the angry gerbil on her own.>...Maybe you should deal with it. Get to England!>Write-in
>>1490541>...Maybe you should deal with it. Get to England!
You decide to fly to England!Roll me a 1d20+3 anons!+2 if you can try to think why Elizabeth needs you!+2 if you can come up with a way to fly faster!+1 if you can think what would happen if Elizabeth got killed by a giant robot!
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1490548
Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>1490548"Liz will need help, she doesn't exactly do the whole fighting thing as much as I do and her people are far less used to massive destruction of their cities.Not to mention that if she gets killed then chances are the English will hate me along with my kids..."
Rolled 6 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1490548
Op are you there?
9+6=15You try to follow... You are however, quite slower than the robot.Meanwhile, in England..."Ah, yes... Broiled sheep would be good, along with a touch of buttered bread, some wine... Oh, and a nice helping of salad if you will...""My lady?""I'm trying to watch my figure, I'll have you know.""Yes, my lady..."The servant leaves you as you get your claws done by a few servants, trimming it to perfection... Elegant and deadly! Oh, also great for getting those hard to reach places.Life's great.After you have dinner, you feel the ground shake, spilling some wine on your dress!Actions>Whoever just caused the ground to shake will pay! Most likely a lecture! Maybe you shaking your head at them! Go outside!>...Get a new dress first. You aren't a barbarian!>...Shapeshift?>Write-in
>>1491059>Whoever just caused the ground to shake will pay!
You of course, head outside.Outside, you see a giant mech. Like a gnome mech. Only, HUGE.Actions>Shapeshift. It's one of THOSE mechs, probably.>Charm it? You did charm a robot before.>Yeah, no. Head back inside.>...Ask politely what it's doing here?>Write-in
>>1491444>Shapeshift. It's one of THOSE mechs, probably.Fuck Gnomes. They shot at us for no reason
>>1491468Dragon form, anon? Or something different?
>>1491444>Shapeshift. It's one of THOSE mechs, probably.Dragon.
You shift to your dragon form...The mech doesn't seem intimidated at all."HI" it says. You notice that on the screen, the Gerbil doesn't seem to be typing the words and seems confused.That's when you notice this erm... This seems to be the same robot you charmed back at Gerbil's base, but seems to be upgraded quite a bit...Especially since rocket pods just popped out of it's shoulder."SORRY" It says, as the large rocket pods are aimed towards you...Liz! There's a bunch of civilians nearby! Let's try to lure it to the country!Actions>Lure it to the country! (You'll have no cover, and probably get shot a lot. Will mean little loss of human life.)>...Fight it here. (You'll have plenty of cover, but will mean quite a bit of destruction of property and death of people... Which could bankrupt/ruin Britain.)>Write-in
>>1491541Can we lure it towards the North Sea?
>>1491567...No, because it's faster then a dragon and would really mess you up if you tried evading for a long distance. The sea itself is also a terrible place to be since there is absolutely no cover for you.
>>1491574To the country side then
>>1491541>Lure it to the country! (You'll have no cover, and probably get shot a lot. Will mean little loss of human life.)
>>1491585You sure? Fighting it in the city would be easy, but the country would be rather hard. This guy has a lot of powerful ranged attacks, and Liz isn't the best at combat.
>>1491592>could bankrupt/ruin Britain.I think I'll pass. I don't want another blitz so soon
>>1491603It could, if you really fuck up and destroy the city, but if you can keep damage controlled and not hurt the population, the treasury should be fine.
>>1491612I'd rather have Liz take a nasty hit than the economy of Britain.
Country it is.You decide to get it out to the country...The problem is that once you begin to fly, you hear a loud sound of missles flying at you...Shit.Roll me a 1d20+3 to lure!+3 if you can find a way to avoid or tank the missles.+2 if you can try to alert the civilian population to this and prevent civilian casulties?+2 if you can taunt Mr. Squeakers. (+1 if you can threaten him as well with what you'll do to him!)+1 if you can be rather pissed about the white dress getting wine on it...
Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>1491647The missiles are probably heat seekig so shooting a ball of fire could throw it off.
You want to do more bonuses anon?
>>1491732>You fucking dress ruining midget rat cunt. Whatever kind of failed abortion lab experiment you are, I'm going to squash you and turn you into jelly in my hand!
Just waiting for more rolls. I guess if you want to hurry this up you can samefagging by alerting the civilians and threatening Mr. Squeakers.
I'm too tired to do that. Feels like I'm gonna take a nap soon
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>1491825
Rolled 6 (1d20)
Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>1491825
8+9=17You open your mouth and breath fire to the missles, causing them to explode. Shrapnel flies and hits you, but does little to nothing... Save for your wings, which has made it a bit harder to fly."You fucking dress midget rat tosser! Whatever kind of failed experiment you are, I'm going to squash you and turn you to jelly in my hands!"The mech at this point follows you, but stops and stomps the ground trying to cement it's position...A sudden large blue beam of light passes right by you, and incinerates a large hole in a nearby building..."SORRY. THIS UNIT IS UNDER MANUAL CONTROL. FIRST LAW NOT OPERATIONAL UNDER MANUAL CONTROL." The robot says. It seems to dislike attacking you.It seems to be somesort of pinpoint laser weaponry.Actions>Take cover among the buildings! (Can hurt civilians, but you'll have a high chance to dodge the shots!)>Evasive manuevers! Fly around, do everything you can! (Low chance of hurting civilians! But a mdoerate chance of dodging.)>Don't do anything. (You'll have a high chance of getting hit, no chance of civilian injuries.)>Rush him now! (Bad idea, but if successful will let you do quite a bit of damage.)>Try to charm the robot? (You'll be highly exposed, but the robot if successful may try to fight against it's manual control... He already is head over heels for you, at least back at the base he was.>Write-in
>>1492727>>Try to charm the robot? (You'll be highly exposed, but the robot if successful may try to fight against it's manual control... He already is head over heels for you, at least back at the base he was.
What do anons?>Try to simply be nice to the robot. Judging from how he's treated... He'd probably like that.>(Attractive)...Honestly, you are very surprised if this works on robots. Just erm, use your assets?>(Genius)...Nerd out a bit to the robot. He might like that, it is rooted in mathematics and what not...>Write-in
>>1492763>>(Genius)...Nerd out a bit to the robot. He might like that, it is rooted in mathematics and what not...We don't see enough of this side of Liz
Roll me a 1d20+4 to try and charm via being nerdy.+3 if you can try to find an excuse to let Elizabeth's inner nerd poke out.+2 if she can somehow flatter the robot geekily?+1 if she can mention some of her projects and wonder why she didn't go for robots...+1 if she can also maybe mention that she doesn't really find the time to be "nerdy" so to speak, with the husband and the kids and the empire...
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>1492795What big servos you haveI've tried my hand at building a navy. Why not build an army?
You might want to do the bonuses anon, and this is fairly hard.
>>1492824Is that a 270* rotating gyroscope mounted to a frontal axiom matrix?!Give me this, just one time. Even if you don't like it, I never have the chance to let myself out like this. Between my husband and my kids and... her, I am always pulled in other directions
This is good enough to maybe get the robot to reconsider, but you'll still be shot at. If anyone else can roll a bit higher than 15, then you'll get the robot to reconsider and not open fire...Allowing samefagging if Liz can be embarrased by her nerding out and maybe talk about how it's so improper to do with her husband or kids or anyone... But this is just too fascinating!
>>1492902I'll try...Oh, what am I doing? A queen shouldn't bother herself with gadgets and gizmos. But they're so cool!
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>1492907Fugg
16+10=26Your eye catches a glimpse of the shiny gyroscope, the servos, the gismos...You can't help but pause and observe..."You know, I must really admit, judging from your size I would estimate you'd have quite the large servos! They've never been my strong point though... Oh my god, is that indeed a two-hundred seventy degree rotating gyroscope mounted to a frontal axiom matrix?! By my word, I am dearly impressed!"The robot itself is flattered."I... AM REPORTING, THAT NO ONE HAS REPORTED THESE FACTS TO ME."You can tell it's a bit stunned and pauses for a second.You can't help but hope that it can just give you this, a reason to nerd out... Your husband and kids and... Well, Gwynevere, tend to get in the way of your scientific pursuits...In fact, this gives you a bit of an idea...Is it to convince the robot to go home?...I was thinking more along the lines of a world-conquering army...Liz! What's with you lately? You've been way too ambitious and violent...Actions>It was just a thought, Gwynevere... (No change)>Is it so wrong to want to rule the world utterly? (Gwynevere will be quite concerned, but Elizabeth will put good efforts towards helping Renexizious in his world conquest... And also might have a bit of a weak point in the future for Renexizious to flirt with her being the "empress of the world". Also will become more ambitious and a bit more ruthless in not letting things stay in her way.)>What am I saying? I'm not somesort of "Napoleon" or something, I'm a wife and a queen... My first duty should be to my country and to my husband. (Elizabeth becomes less ambitious.)
>>1494436>It was just a thought, Gwynevere... (No change)
Just a thought, Gwynevere.You turn your attention back to the fight. The robot seems to be attempting to hold back...Actions>Attack!>Try to charm the robot more?>Try to lure it more out to the countryside!!>Write-in
>>1494517>Try to charm the robot more?
>>1494517>>Try to charm the robot more?>>Try to lure it more out to the countryside!!
You decide to charm further...>(Genius) Be nerdy!>(Attractive) Be attractive!>Just try to be nice to it!>Write-in for more ideas.
>>1494535>>(Attractive) Be attractive!Got to give him the good 'ol one two!
Roll me a 1d20+3 anons.+2 if you can somehow use your assets on the robot? (+1 if you can slight force it to look...)+2 if you can mention how great the robot was, when he let you by without even harming or touching you, and how sad it is that he has to attack you...+1 if you can be a bit seductive.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1494551The classic under arms then reach upwards to stretchThanks again that you could be so nice and let me pass back there, too bad that gesture is meaningless now:(Gently rub our hand down his mecha arm
14+8=22"You know... Thank you for previously, being so nice and so gentlemanly, letting me pass all the way back there... It's such a shame that you have to attack me..."You gently rub his arm. He doesn't say anything, but it's clear that his programming is starting to be a bit glitchy, so to speak.Mr. Squeakers however, does not seem too entertained by this. You also see your husband in the horizon, and he'll be here in about two more turns...Mr. Squeakers seems to have pressed a button, and the robot twitches a bit, a few sparks flying out of it. It's murderous tendencies seem to have been renegaged, and it's hands move to turn into very, very large gattling guns."SORRY. PLEASE FORGIVE ME."Luckily, he seems to be charmed enough that you get to cover, and he seems purposely firing inaccurately. Mr. Squeakers presses another button shocking the robot again. This time, it opens fire accurately on you, as you try to lead it away from the city...Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can indeed draw it away!+2 if you can try to find a way to minimize being hit!+2 if you can try to tell the robot that shooting at you isn't a very good idea! (+1 if you can slightly wonder why this one robot can actually be charmed by you...)+1 if you can find a way to still look attractive in this pursuit to the robot!
Rolled 11 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1494570
Anyone else anons?
Turn or shift o that the shot grazes us. Alternatively we could try to block it with our tail.>I am the queen of England. Firing upon any person of the royal domain is a declaration of war>Maybe the robot just identifies me when I'm in a certain position as a friendly or something.
>>1494610Just saying that you are rather close to the ground, shapeshifting mid-flight is a bad idea this close to the ground.
>>1494612By turn or shift I meant our body's position, not our physical form
Rolled 11 + 2 (1d20 + 2)Ignore my roll.
You manage to avoid the shots, as you turn and twist around. You of course draw it out to the English Countryside, and Renexizious seems to be a mere turn away...Actions>Attack the robot!>Try to charm it further!>(Attractive) Try to charm and distract it from Renexizious doing a sneak attack right behind him...>Try to lure him towards a forest so you have cover?>Write-in
>>1494633>Try to lure him towards a forest so you have cover?
Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can make it to the forest!+2 if you can look attractive to the robot while you make your way to the forest!
Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1494649
Allowing samefagging if you can either look attractive to the robot or alternatively scare Mr. Squeakers about what you'll do to him.
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1494665I'll tie you up and dangle you in front of a myriad of wild African cats to the point that they'll pluck off every single piece of hair on your body while trying to get you
Want to do the "look attractive" samefag?
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1494649
Rolled 13 + 4 (1d20 + 4)7+4=11You try to lure the robot, but rather than follow he fires plenty of missiles right at you.Ignore my roll.
You take 2500 in damage from the missiles, which severely injured you!He switches back to fire the accurate beams you dodged earlier...Lost HP: -2500Current HP: 7500What do anons want Renexizious to do?>Surprise attack!>Fly around... Elizabeth can handle him on her own...>Find something to eat to charge up Solaire!>Breath attack!>Try to reason with him?>Write-inElizabeth>Attack!>Flee!>Attempt to dodge!>Charm him!>(Attractive!) Charm him and distract him so Renexizious can have a very clear shot!>Write-in
>>1494707>Surprise attack!>(Attractive!) Charm him and distract him so Renexizious can have a very clear shot!
Roll me a 1d20+4 to charm and distract!+3 if you can use your assets right up close to him to distract!+2 if you can be seductive as Elizabeth...+2 if you can find a way to expose him to Renexizious...+1 if you can try to get him to stop shooting at you for a second...
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1494731
>>1494739Does Liz level up assets?
>>1494731Trip and cusion our impact with himGive him the sultry eyesGrab him into a hug, and lightly spin so he moves out of coverIt's not very nice to shoot at a nice lady, or a friend!
What do anons want to do?>Have the robot too stunned to actually do anything for the next three rounds! >The robot can truly feel love, but this really pisses off Mr. Squeakers. Might get you a gnome mech behemoth, but Mr. Squeakers will inspired to take revenge in the future.>The robot shuts down, but also self-destructs due to a glitch in his programming. This will lose all tech, and Mr. Squeakers will go after you, but it'll end the encounter instantly!>Write-in for ideas.
>>1495034>>The robot can truly feel love, but this really pisses off Mr. Squeakers. Might get you a gnome mech behemoth, but Mr. Squeakers will inspired to take revenge in the future.And also wants revenge against Squeaker
>>1495059Scratch that, I'll go for the first one but the robot will still feel something burning in his "heart"as it will get very awkward because Ren is right around the corner,.
>>1495034>Have the robot too stunned to actually do anything for the next three rounds!
You trip a bit (somehow) and ram into him, cushioning your fall with him. You stare face-to-face, albeit you are quite a bit larger then him. You give him some rather curious (yet sultry eyes, and grab him in a "hug" so you can get up a bit.He seems stunned...Renexizious flies by...Actions>Continue with attack!>...Liz seems to be doing good. Hold back.>Write-in
>>1495144>Continue with attack!
Renexizious swoops to attack the beleaguered mech...Actions>Aim at the head!>Aim at the arms!>Aim at the legs!>Aim at the chest!>...Use magic!>Use a breath attack!>Write-in
>>1495201>Aim at the head!
Roll me a 1d20+2 to attack the head anons.+2 if you can angrily find a way to attack!+2 if you can tell it to get the fuck away from your wife!
Rolled 19 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>1495222
19+2=21You attack him right in the head, and this surprises him enough that you tear through quite a bit of plating with your claws. This staggers him, and he still seems stunned... You don't think he's doing anything for this turn either.Elizabeth>Charm him further! (If done enough, you might even get him on your side!)>Distract him with your charm more!>Don't do anything...>Attack!>Write-inRenexizious>Attack!>...Fly back up, and try to launch another surprise attack!>Cast a spell!>Shapeshift!>Use a breath attack!>Write-in
Waiting for one more vote anons.
Where do anons want to attack! Select for both Liz and Ren.>Head (Damaged!)>Chest!>Arms!>Legs!
>>1495427Liz headRen legs
Roll me a 1d20+2 for Elizabeth's attack.+2 if she can come up with a creative way to attack it's head!+2 if she can use her assets!+1 if she can also express gratitude towards Renexizious being here!
Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>1495481
>>1495502You want to do the bonuses anon?
>>1495481Use our tail."Thanks Ren! I'd like to finish this quickly and your assistance odd to make such a goal practical."
12+5=17You attack, and your tail slaps the robot back a bit, and your husband comes in to capitalize right on it's legs...Roll me a 1d20+5 anons!+3 if Renexizious can find a way to damage the robot's leg!+2 if Ren can of course, mention how worried he was, and how relieved he is.+1 if Ren can also slightly lustfully flirt with Liz while beating this guy up.
Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>1495575
If you can do the bonuses, you can increase the damage you'll do to the leg.
>>1495608Use our special tail to impale it's feet/legs sideways>I'm just relieved that you're already. I was worried this machine might've overwhelmed you before I got here
You use your tail and impale the leg, while expressing your gratitude towards Elizabeth...The robot seems to be no longer stunned from the among of damage it's taking, and is now fighting in self-preservation. It's finding it somewhat hard to walk...Liz>(Attractive) Try to stun with your good looks!>Distract him for another attack from Ren!>Attack!>Don't do anything!>Write-inRenexzious!>Attack!>Try to fly back up for another attack!>Cast a spell!>Shapeshift!>Breath attack!>Write-in
>>1495678>(Attractive) Try to stun with your good looks!>Cast a spell!
>>1495713Care to specify with the "casting a spell" part?
>>1495718Cast a lightning bolt. Hopefully it's powerful enough to melt through the plating.
Elizabeth tries to stun him with her good looks...Roll me a 1d20+4 anons.+3 if Elizabeth can really use her assets on the robot...+2 if she can try to conceal it from noticing Renexizious's spell.+2 if she can apologize for attacking it, and mention how she's just scared about him attacking her...+1 if she can be seductive...Autosuccess if everything can be done.
Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1495727I would go for an auto success but fuck that's too much mental gymnastics for me
>>1495745Seems the dice gods are willing to let it slide this time...
19+4=23Elizabeth accidently rams into the bot, her large breasts going straight into his face, and they look eye to eye.Elizabeth seems thoroughly embarrassed and stammers out an apology, and the robot tries his best to apologize...Renexizious of course, casts a lightning bolt right on him...Roll me a 1d20+5 for damage anons.+3 if Renexizious can be fucking pissed he just embarrassed his wife AND had her breasts right in his face... That's for you, damn it!+2 if Renexizious can try to get Elizabeth away from the lightning strike's conductive nature without alerting the robot!+1 if Ren can intimidate the robot a bit.If everything's done, Liz won't also get shocked!
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1496222I see you are ramping up the incentives>She's my wife goddammit! Only I can embaress her or have her breasts in my face!>ooklay outay orfay hetay ightningay>I you touch her any more, I'll rip out the closest thing you have to a dick!
>>1496230Only because I'm tired.Anyways, allowing samefagging if you can continue to rant about how much you hate people messing with your wife and how she's yours, goddamn it.
>>1496239She's my wife, and only me (and my other wives) can touch her!
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>1496254
>>1496258Want to rant more/intimidate the robot?
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>1496282I WILL NOT HESITATE TO PUNCH YOU IN THE HEAD SO HARD YOU ONLY THINK IN BINARY!!!
11+11=22Your lightning bolt does a bit of damage on the bot, but seems to do little else...The bot turns it's full attention to you, and prepares to fire at you with some rockets...Renexizious>Attack!>Attempt to dodge!>Cast a spell!>Shapeshift!>Breath Attack!Elizabeth!>Charm the robot further! (If done enough, he might join your side!)>Try to prevent him from hurting your husband!>Don't do anything!>Sneak attack him from behind!>Write-in
>>1496305You have to choose for Liz too anon.
>>1496313>Charm the robot further! (If done enough, he might join your side!)Oops
Liz decides to charm the robot further!Roll me a 1d20+4 anons.+3 if you can continue to make embarrassing mistakes to attract the robot?+2 if you can be slightly seductive?+2 if you can "attempt" to get your husband to stop fighting?+3 if you can use your assets.Autosuccess if everything happens.
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>1496325>Stub our toe, then grab it and jump up and down in pain>Lean heavily on the robot for support>Ren, it's not the robot's fault! Just the gerbil's>See 1What is the date at this moment?
>>1496334Anon, Liz doesn't exactly have a toe, she's in her dragon form. She's also flying.
>>1496338Unless dragons just have a solid mass of flesh with talons fr feet, I am pretty sure they have some form of toe.>cough a lot and get the jiggle going
19+12=31You use the good old fashioned tactic of having a severe cough, and it's enough to cause the robot to turn to face you...Renexizious meanwhile, breathes fire on the robot.Roll me a 1d20+3 anons+3 if Renexizious can be a bit pissed at Elizabeth trying to stop him.+1 if Ren can try to sneak a peak at Liz's coughing fit.
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>1496358Why the fuck are you protecting him! He came here to attack you!We have 3 heads. One of them is bound to have a good angle
Allowing samefagging if Ren can slightly think why Liz's assets are so great.
>>1496394They are the largest assets I have ever seen and are extremely comfortable
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>1496399What is wrong with me
12+7=19You breath fire on him, which heats up his circuits a bit... He however, even though being stunned, fires at you...Alternatively, Liz can risk herself to try and charm him further.>Liz will risk herself!>Take the hit!
>>1496409>>Take the hit!She is already hurt and it is entirely our fault
Rolled 17 + 4 (1d20 + 4)You decide to take the hit.
17+4=21The rocket barrage targets your face, and holy shit it fucking hurts... The pain is unreal!In fact, your nerves, having barely registered pain in the past, now are practically flaring from the pain in this battle...Roll me a 1d20+4 anons. This is to see how well Ren can handle the sudden onset of pain...+1 if he can think about what's at stake here!
>>1496417THATS A GOOD SIGN!
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1496421Elizabeth is in danger, not to mention ourselves!
14+5=19You can shake it off, but your body's practically screaming at you...-4500 HP.Current HP: 13,500 HP Dragon FormFull HP: 18,000 HP Dragon FormYou are very injured from the close-up barrage!The robot himself seems to have weakened armor plating by the front. He seems very distracted by Liz however... It seems to be preparing another barrage of rockets to your face!Ren's Actions>Take cover!>Attack!>Try to cast a spell!>Use magic!>Write-inLiz's actions!>Attack!>Charm further!>Try to prevent your husband from being shot!>(Genius)You are flanking him... Maybe there's some way you can disrupt Mr. Squeaker's manual control?>Flee!>Write-in
>>1496435Attack the location of the rockets>(Genius)You are flanking him... Maybe there's some way you can disrupt Mr. Squeaker's manual control?
>>1496435Ren's Actions>Try to cast a spell!Or>Use magic!Can I get a list of spell / magic options as well?Liz's actions!>(Genius)You are flanking him... Maybe there's some way you can disrupt Mr. Squeaker's manual control?
>>1496446Fuck I'm tired, I added two of the same things.Anyways, magic should be in the limited character sheet.
>>1496449So I need to go look it up? Christ that too much effort for seven in the morning...I know we have fireball and magic missile or something of the sort. So just throw a few of them his way.
>>1496455I'm too tired to.Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if Liz can disable Mr. Squeaker's manual control from behind...+2 if Liz can think what she's looking for...+2 if Liz can try to think what the fuck she'll do to Mr. Squeakers once she gets ahold of him..+1 if Liz can worry about her husband.
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1496459Anything that looks like an antenna or a wireless transmitterFeed him to her corgiHe doesn't normally react to being hurt! Whats going on?!
Allowing samefagging if Liz can continue to think of how to deal with an annoying gerbil...
>>1496465Sell him to a school and have him live out the rest of his days as a class pet.After reducing his intelligence of course
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1496478
>>1496479Perfect timing for a rage
So...>Use Scottish Rage!>Don't use it!
>>1496485>>Use Scottish Rage!
Roll me a 1d20 anons+3 if you can curse Mr. Squeakers wildly in Scottish.+2 if you can think why the fuck a robot has fallen head over heels for you... (+1 if you can take pride in it!)+2 if you can continue to get the robot to be attracted towards you again...+1 if you can be somewhat angry that Ren and the robot have taken a slight break to look at your assets! (But also slightly enjoy the attention.)
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1496499I am too tired to do these write ins. If the next part isn't written by the time I wake up, I will do them
Rolled 1 (1d20)18Well, holy shit anons have actually succeeded.You angrily curse and rip out some fucking antenna on the top of the robot. This of course messes with the robot's primary functions...Ignore my roll.
The robot twitches, and falls over after you rip it out. The back panel opens up, and a plethora of steam just erupts, and you feel extremely sick...Inside seems to be a glowing green crystal, and you feel sick just being there. It seems like this robot is powered by uranium, and combined with the electric shock and you messing with the primary functions, has caused a sort of "meltdown" in it's reactor...The robot seems disabled, and you notice that the uranium seems to be glowing a bit more brightly as you look at it...Huh."...NUCLEAR MELTDOWN EMINENT. PREDICTED IN TWENTY HOURS. SYSTEM UNABLE TO FUNCTION REGARDING EXTREME INTERNAL INJURIES."A bit of genius sparks into your brain... It seems Renexizious's lightning bolt was TOO effective! Why would the Gnomes need to deal with lightning underground?You have discovered Gnome Mechs are very weak to lightning and sudden bursts of energy."...MANUAL CONTROL DISABLED. RETURNING TO AUTOMATIC MODE."Actions>...Try to finish off the robot?>Try to stabilize the uranium?>Deal with the uranium?>Get Renexizious to deal with this!>Maybe you can bury it underground?>Write-in
>>1496514>Try to stabilize the uranium?Thank fuck I know just a bit about reactors, eh?
>>1496514>>Get Renexizious to deal with this!UPGRADE!Also have we done anything with the mana crystals we stole. I had an idea for some science with them. Make a version of Renexium that, instead of producing chemical energy, produces mana.
>>1496520I'll back this instead I guess...
Good night for real this time
>>1496541See you later!
Renexizious barges over to deal with the uranium...What do?>Stabilize it. (The giant death robot survives. You get access to some Gnome Tech.)>...Nom the uranium? (Death Robot dies unless more enriched uranium is given to it, and Renexizious (Or Elizabeth!) gets an upgrade of your choice. Might cause some severe sickness and a mutation or two.>Try to bury the crystal below the surface... (Stops the meltdown, kills the robot, and gets you some tech.)>Write-in
>>1496608>...Nom the uranium? (Death Robot dies unless more enriched uranium is given to it, and Renexizious (Or Elizabeth!) gets an upgrade of your choice. Might cause some severe sickness and a mutation or two.
>>1496613Do you want to get Liz or Ren to eat it?
Waiting for more votes anons.
>>1496629Other anons did appear in favor of Ren eating the uranium
>>1496629Ren eat it
>>1496629Yeah I am also in favour of it.
Alright.You of course, can't help but nom the uranium...Choose an upgrade...>Upgrade something! (You can upgrade something regardless of points needed to be invested, like instantly upgrading huge!)>Stable Mutation>Unstable Mutation>Ultra Unstable Mutation
>>1496685>>Upgrade something! (You can upgrade something regardless of points needed to be invested, like instantly upgrading huge!)
>>1496685>Upgrade something! (You can upgrade something regardless of points needed to be invested, like instantly upgrading huge!)
>>1496689What's one thing anons want to upgrade instantly anons? This will immediately upgrade it to the next level.
>>1496690What does shapeshifting get vs HUGE?
>>1496693Shapeshifting gets you the ability to do a chimera form. This requires a upgrade point to be invested into it though.
>>1496694Well I'll go with YUUGE then. How many upgrades to it though allow us to change our appearance at will though?
>>1496697Two more above Chimera.Anyways, YUGE it is...So...>100 StoriesOr.>120 Stories (Minor drawback from radiation!)>140 Stories! (Major drawback from radiation!)
>>1496701>>120 Stories (Minor drawback from radiation!)If we take this we are taller than the Empire State Building
>>1496701>120 Stories (Minor drawback from radiation!)
Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)Alright. Ignore my roll.
Rolled 18 (1d20)You now have...>Overly Sensitive NervesYour nerves are now extremely sensitive to damage or touch, and someone hitting you can deal 1.5x as much damage... At least temporarily. After a bit the damage will go back to normal, but if it does kill you you'll suffer "sensory shock" and die from it.Ignore my next roll...
You are slightly weaker to ballistic weaponry, due to your plates thinning out.However, you are now offically larger than 100 stories... In fact, a whopping 120 stories!Of course, Liz is quite shocked by your sudden growth...Actions>Taunt Liz about this...>...Embarrass Liz a bit.>...Laugh evily from the power you get from this.>Pat Liz on the head.>Just shrug. This is nice.>Write-in
>>1496714You see this! This is why we don't consume the deadly radioactive materials!
>>1496724>Just shrug. This is nice.How tall is Liz?
>>149672880 stories, if I remember.
>>1496724>>Pat Liz on the head.
>>1496724Also I wouldn't call "getting 2 weaknesses" minor
fucking as dragons just got a lot more difficult.
>>1496737We are only 50% larger than her
>>1496738That is still a WHOLE lot of dick that will no longer fit.
You pat Liz on the head thanks to your new size. She seems quite stunned."Your kidding me. How does that even work?""I don't know."Elizabeth seems a bit fumed. But anyways, there's a bit of a dying robot in front of you...Oh, also, your pretty sure you can eat this guy whole. Just as a thought.Actions>Nom the bot. Maybe more radiation? (Upgrade again. loss all tech.)>Try to charge the robot again?>Rip him apart and look at the tech...>Write-in
>>1496742>>Nom the bot. Maybe more radiation? (Upgrade again. loss all tech.)Must... Not... Munchkin!!!And we can steal the tech later from Squeakers.
Well, I'll be back soon.Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if there's enough left-over energy to give Ren an upgrade.+3 if you can come up with a way to nom the robot... And of course, be angry at him for hitting on your wife/shooting at her.+2 if you can slightly go mad with power from being the tallest living thing on earth...+2 if you can make fun of Liz's shortness... (+1 if you can also flirt with her a bit.)+1 if you can think about what this radiation will upgrade...
Rolled 9 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1496754What if Liz eats it
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1496754Angrily cut him into bite size pieces while cursing his existanceHehehehehehehehHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAI don't need you having stumpy leg to be taller now!Huge again?
Allowing samefagging if you can continue to think about what to do with this power!Also, maybe make fun of Liz a bit more and be condisending...Anyways, if anons want, they can take a -3 on another upgrade and try to save some for Liz.
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>1496779If i am HUGE, then no-one can ever overpower my YUUUUUUGE!!!Pick her up and rock her like a baby
9+12=21You begin to chow down on the robot."Ren, don-""What? I'm busy here!"You try to eat it, but once you finish the legs you already feel full...Actions>Force yourself to nom further!>Try to get Liz to join in? (She can also get an upgrade, but she'll need to be convinced!)>...Maybe you should try to fix the robot. (Elizabeth will really like this.)>Write-in
>>1496785>Try to get Liz to join in? (She can also get an upgrade, but she'll need to be convinced!)
>>1496785>>Force yourself to nom further!I have a feeling we won't even get an upgrade if only we eat it
If anons want to, I can combine it...
>>1496785>...Maybe you should try to fix the robot. (Elizabeth will really like this.)Don't eat the nice sentient piece of technology that is more advance than anything we own. Including the Tau shit possibly.
Also, rolling here in 15 minutes.
>>1496800Lets combine the first 2
You decide to try and get Liz involved.Roll me a 1d20+3 anons. This is to convince Elizabeth..+3 if you can mention how GREAT it is to be huge..+2 if you can talk about how delicious this robot really is.+1 if you can be lustful towards her since your "size boost"+1 if you can mention why it's ok to eat the robot which was nice to her.
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>1496806Think about how you can sit on even LARGER piles of gold!It has a hint of cinnamon!Grab her breasts and say "How large will these be afterwards?" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"Come on, you can sit on EVEN LARGER piles of gold, it even has a taste of cinnamon! Besides..."You grab her by the breasts..."...How large do you think these will be after?"You fondle for a second and she seems quite convinced to nom the robot...Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if Liz gets an upgrade...+3 if she can think about all that money she could rest on... Not to mention possibly bigger assets.+2 if she can be envious of Renexizious...+1 if she can be quite impressed by his... Well, size...+1 if she can self-justifying the nice robot.
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1496814I could fill a lake with all of the money I could rest on! My assests could fill one!Why did he grow so big. Now I'm a dwarf compared to him... :(I'm sure his height wasn't the only thing that grew ;)He did mainly like me for my looks
Allowing samefagging for maybe thinking a bit lustfully about Renexizious, and think about what bigger assets could do... Not to mention money.
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>1496823It could make my assets fit in a stadium! Full of money
>>1496826Needs more anon.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1496831I could bury them in the entire treasury of both England AND Sweden!
14+11=25Elizabeth manages to convince herself to eat a bit... She goes for the head and arms while you go for the chest...What do anons want to give Liz as an upgrade?>Stable Mutation>Unstable Mutation>Ultra-Unstable Mutation>Upgrade Form >Upgrade Mutation (Instant upgrade! No point cost!)
>>1496840>Upgrade Mutation (Instant upgrade! No point cost!)Upgrade assets.Improving our assets is a good long term investment
>>1496840>>Upgrade Mutation (Instant upgrade! No point cost!)Can we see the available mutations and how many points it would take to upgrade?
>>1496844AssetsHugeFire BreathTwo-HeadedEnviromental ChangeHealing BreathAnd some other stuff. Sorry about the lack luster posting, I'm just at work.
>>1496849>Enviromental ChangeWe might need this so Liz doesn't die by being in England, or at least doesn't need to wear furs
>>1496855She can live in England, but it is very uncomfortable.
>>1496843>our assets is a good longbelieve me, you don't want to upgrade those again.
>>1496857And she won't be uncomfortable if we upgrade that, right?
>>1496860Over time England would become more arid and desert. Right now, it's winter season is slightly extended due to her being here.Sweden however is starting to have a much longer winter cycle.
>>1496862Thats a bad idea. Changing to shapeshifting
>>1496862I don't think we should fuck with england's weather.Not sure about that though
Alright, I'm rolling in fifteen more minutes anons.
Why don't anons just upgrade Liz's size?
>>1496881Cuz we want to be bigger.
>>1496881I would like to upgrade healing breath.
Keep in mind anons you can instantly upgrade ANY of these, without needing any of the prequesites. It'll also be more effective then a normal upgrade.I'll be back due to shit wifi in about twenty minutes. Feel free to argue.
>>1496898We need to upgrade shapeshifting enough so we can choose our appearance. Then we can have ASSETS AS LARGE AS WE WANT!
>>1496906Oh. I thought you wanted it to blend in better. Full on body customization at will will take a shitload of shapeshifting mutations, like 5-6.
>>1496898I am sticking with my vote to make our healing breath better.
>>1496909Well that too
>>1496909hmn both sound awesome.
Looks like it's a tie between bigger assets, better healing, and increased shapeshifting.Final roll call.
>>1496922shapeshiftingPretty sure assets has disadvantages at this point
>>1496925Assets will be a trade off of getting +2 to Charisma, +1 to Strength, and -1 to Agility.
Last fifteen minutes. Feel free to argue anons.
By the way...Upgrading shapeshifting will let Liz make a chimera form at will.
>>1496937Okay OP.My argument for improving the healing breath is that if we get injured, it will do more than big tits for us. Liz can pretty much solo any diplomatic encounter, so lets expand into other skill sets / develop our other skills.
>>1496939Shapeshifting also leads to new roads
>>1496943That is lovely but it essentially is just mixing the abilities of our different races. Where as what I am talking about greatly strengthens the character no matter what.
Alright. Shapeshifting wins.Liz can now shift to a "mix" of forms at will. They no longer require any mutation points.Now, for Renexizious to see if he can actually finish his meal and get an UPGRADE.Roll me a 1d20+4 anons.+3 if you can find a way for Ren to eat more even though he's already full...+2 if he can exploit being large with Liz...+1 if he can think how large he is to a mere mortal... (+1 if he can think how proud mom would be!)+1 if Ren can think about how grandiose he is, a full whopping 120 stories large... How can mortals even compete?
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>1496958Fire some lasers into the airGive her a piggyback rideI am taller than one of the biggest building in the world! 200 times the size of a human!^
>>1496980A bit more egotistical anon, then it'll be good.
>>1496982How can mortals even begin to comprehend my Majesty?I will soar to greater heights while their puny bodies are stuck on the filthy ground!!!
You can't help but be extremely egotistical about this... Nothing at this point is taller then you! No mere mortal can even hope to escape your wrath, your very anger will SHAKE the planet under your furious wings...Of course, Flames tells you to stop roleplaying as some comical evil villian and to remember where you are, and that being evil is a bad way to get chicks. Cute ones.He's right, you know...Anyways, you have gotten another upgrade...Choose another upgrade.>Upgrade! (Free. Upgrading Huge will result in a major radiation drawback!)>Stable Mutation>Unstable Mutation>Ultra Unstable Mutation
>>1496992>Upgrade! (Free. Upgrading Huge will result in a major radiation drawback!)A list pls
>>1496992>>Upgrade! (Free. Upgrading Huge will result in a major radiation drawback!)list
>>1496995It's huge, if you know what I'm saying...Draconic OverlordDouble EyedWaterbreathingFire BreathLaser BreathThree HeadedAcid SpitAcid BloodEnhanced BurrowingPheromonesMuscularGeniusYuge
>>1497008Eye of the north star. Why don't we ever use it?
>>1497015Rages. Also, it's technically an "enchanted" item.
>>1497017What about barbaric?
>>1497008Laser BreathFor gnome mechs
>>1497020Barbaric is completely maxed out.
>>1497028:( Heads then. Lets get another friend
Rolling in ten more minutes anons.
Rolled 2 (1d3)Rolling.1=Fourth Head2=Double Eyed3=Laser Breath
>>1497065So we have 27 eyes now?
You are now triple eyed!You can see more sensitive materials, and see extremely far away!You also get a +1 to Wisdom.You blink your third eye a bit slowly... You erm... You seem to have a grand total of well... Six eyes on each head... Meaning twelve... Eighteen.You have eighteen eyes!It's rather hard to see and it takes you a moment to get used to this... You erm...You also feel rather ill...Roll me a 1d20+3 to avoid radiation sickness.+2 if you can be highly confused by your three eyes...+2 if you can continue to be egotistical about your size...+1 if you can try to daww over how cute Liz is when she's shorter then you...
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>1497070
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1497070
Rolled 18 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>1497070"Oh shit, I think I have more eyes than a spider. Fuck this is weird, how in the hell do I blink all these wee shits?I can't be certain but I think it's made you look even smaller...that or I've gotten even bigger...probably both.Aww, I just noticed you are the perfect height for hugging and heat-pats!"
Critical Success.Anons have gotten an ADDITIONAL upgrade from radiation.Choose one anons...>Stable Mutation>Unstable Mutation>Ultra Unstable Mutation>Upgrade Mutation (Huge won't hurt you!)
>>1497086>Upgrade Mutation (Huge won't hurt you!)Upgrade shrewd mind
>>1497086>Upgrade Mutation (Huge won't hurt you!)Can we do our eyes again? I just want to see how far we can push this...Failing that muscular or yuge.
>>1497095We still have shrewd mind to get more int.Which is good for science
>>1497095Getting four-eyed will mean that you can anticipate flank attacks and dodge them normally, though at that point you'll creep out people... Granting you a +1 to intimidation as well, but a -1 to charisma.
>>1497098Aye but we could have like...100 eyes.
>>1497098Also I swear upgrading Shrewd mind is apparently going to have side-effects.
>>1497104Yes.But we could have a useful mutation.Which would be good for our science stuff which we do often.
>>1497107More eyes does that as well.And dodging flank attacks isn't really feasible for us.See our negative agility
>>1497109We are working on that as well.
>>1497111Eh...Not really.Also more eyes is just creepy.
Rolling in about 15 minutes anons. Just saying that it's very hard to upgrade yuge, and four-eyed costs only two mutation points and with shrewd mind only one.
>>1497111WHY HAVE AGILITY WHEN YOU HAVE BODY!!!
>>1497119Yeah but...eyes.Fine, we can upgrade shrewd mind.
>>1497122Fine upgrade hugeWe can do shrewd mind next time
YUGE it is.Select one.>160 stories.>180 stories (Minor radiation drawback!)>200 stories. (Major Radiation drawback! You'll get something unique for hitting 200)
>>1497154>200 stories. (Major Radiation drawback! You'll get something unique for hitting 200)
>>1497154>>200 stories. (Major Radiation drawback! You'll get something unique for hitting 200)
Well... Quick question, can anons share an image describing or showing what a 200 story dragon would look like?Please?
>>1497154>160 stories.Guys, that last draw back made us weak as fuck. Let's not get another.
>>1497163Shanghai tower is 200 stories tall
Also question OP, can we spend upgrade points on removing these radiation drawbacks later? How about the non-radiation caused ones?I feel like you said at some time but I don't know.
>>1497172We can.We spent points to get rid of our stubby legs
200 it is.You sprout up in size EXTREMELY...Renexizious can choose one thing...>Ultimate Laser (Like lasering things to death? Well, guess what? You get the power of a semi-atomic bomb in the power of your laser breath... It does require a LOT to power it, about a similar amount of a small city.)>Ultimate Fire Breath (Do you like firestorms? Well, this is the thing for you! Your fire breath can melt practically anything, and will even melt asphalt, stone, you name it!)>Terrifying Presence (Renexizious can instantly terrify on a intimidation roll, once a week. This will be a autosuccess.)>Write-in for ideas for a "devestating" attack/ability.
>>1497173I remember but I thought that might've been over how autistic our character was acting over it.
>>1497176>Terrifying Presence (Renexizious can instantly terrify on a intimidation roll, once a week. This will be a autosuccess.)So once a week we can just go "Fuck you, I'm a dragon."
>>1497176>>Write-in for ideas for a "devestating" attack/ability.Utimate genious. Just think how big that brain is. Otherwise, terrifying presence
>>1497176>Ultimate Fire Breath (Do you like firestorms? Well, this is the thing for you! Your fire breath can melt practically anything, and will even melt asphalt, stone, you name it!)Laser is also good
>>1497217Can it melt steel beams?
>>1497224Most likely yes
>>1497180Once an in-game week.>>1497224Yes, and more!Also, other things anons might like.>Ultimiate Necromancy (Ren can cause a large burst of necromantic energy which can either revive undead, or heal allies. Summoned undead last as long as you wish. Can support 500,000 undead.)>Extreme Climate Change. (Once a in-game year, Renexizious can change an entire region to slowly suit his needs. This will grant him bonuses, and via power of plot, your farmable lands etc, remain farmable.)Next "unique" upgrades coming up soon.
>>1497273>Ultimiate Necromancy (Ren can cause a large burst of necromantic energy which can either revive undead, or heal allies. Summoned undead last as long as you wish. Can support 500,000 undead.)Half a million undead? OP you do know how broken this is in any city older than 200 years right?God help us if we go to London or Glasgow or pairs and use this, every single corpse in the place will come alive and come out of the wood work to fight for us...
>>1497273Extreme climate change please
>>1497273>Extreme Climate Change. (Once a in-game year, Renexizious can change an entire region to slowly suit his needs. This will grant him bonuses, and via power of plot, your farmable lands etc, remain farmable.)
>>1497284>>1497285Fine, I'll switch to your decision.>Extreme Climate Change. (Once a in-game year, Renexizious can change an entire region to slowly suit his needs. This will grant him bonuses, and via power of plot, your farmable lands etc, remain farmable.)
>>1497273Do you guys know how long an ingame year is!? Changing from genius to necromancy
>>1497306We can only use the ability every twenty threads and will forget about it
>>1497310Well we can go into Civ mode during which months pass by very quickly and casually. I think on average a week passes by every turn.
>>1497321Speaking of Civ mode: we have so much shit to take care of.
>>1497331Well for one I think we still need more followers for Venus
>>1497331Also there are still heretics all across the empire which we either don't have the time to or failed to purge
>>1497334>>1497336Not to mention we actually need to finish up with all of our stuff to enhance our cities and infrastructure.Also we really need to get onto our science shit and just researching all the basic boring things for a few weeks.
Keep in mind, the extreme climate change cannot be used on any planet that's not habitable already. In addition, people aren't going to like draconic overlords that kind of change the planet to be more desert/more icy.Also, Ultimate Necromancy won't work more then once a month, keep in mind.Anyways, final roll call. You'll get the next set of "uniques" after this, for the 200 milestone.And yes, this is supposed to be broken.
If we assume that it takes 10 skeletons to Max out a single one, we get a massive ducking army. There are 7 millions bodies in the catacombs. That means 700000 super skeletons
>>1497377Sticking to climate change
Rolled 1 (1d2)Rolling.1=Necromnacy2=Climate ChangeNow, for your 200 milestone...>Draconic Supremacy. (Your population will tolerate your draconic values, such as slavery, hoarding, and generally warfare and plundering, simply because they don't want to mess with you. Your population will never revolt or riot out of fear, so long as you don't go too far.)>Draconic Protector (Your population idolizes you as a "great protector of the people" and your PR falls 50% less, when it does. Additionally, newer generations will look up to you as a "guardian" and eventually even a "father-figure" so to speak, meaning future generations get instantly recruited into a semi-personal cult.)>Ingenious Mind (Your mind is a well-sharpened tool. You gain instantly +5 Intelligence.)>Nuclear Laser (Your laser breath, when fully charged, can fire a beam that is completely capable of a nuclear detonation.)>Kobold Hegemon (Kobolds are instinctivly driven to work for you and worship you, due to your draconic nature and their close ties to it. Even normally hostile ones will think of you as "friendly" and themselves as subservient. Kobolds under your rule will never even question your rule or judgment. This applies in both D&D and this dimension.)
>>1497462>Draconic Supremacy. (Your population will tolerate your draconic values, such as slavery, hoarding, and generally warfare and plundering, simply because they don't want to mess with you. Your population will never revolt or riot out of fear, so long as you don't go too far.)
Draconic Supremacy it is...Now of course, you start to grow wildly... Liz seems to get smaller, and smaller...She's awfully adorable from here... Hell, eventually you grow to be TWICE her size...Liz seems quite scared...Roll me a 1d20+4 to reassure the smol Liz that everything's fine!+3 if you can totally go absolutely mad with power.+2 if you can embarrass the smol Liz from your sheer size...+2 if you can think about the loot, the slaves, the conquest... All of that you'll be able to do with this size!+1 if you can hint towards Liz of your "size"
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1497593To be fair she'll no doubt grow in size as well. She should be something like 170 stories to compliment our height.
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1497593
Critical Success!Well... Choose one anons.>Liz find the large new you... Oddly attractive, cute, and likes it.>...Liz... Well, she falls in love with you all over you again, with her being small, you being far larger and she being delicate... She'll enjoy it greatly when you go to a "large" form.
>>1497621>Liz find the large new you... Oddly attractive, cute, and likes it.
>>1497621>Liz... Well, she falls in love with you all over you again, with her being small, you being far larger and she being delicate... She'll enjoy it greatly when you go to a "large" form.
Liz for some odd reason finds you extremely attractive... And is extremely attracted to you."Hey, Ren? Now that this is over...""WHAT?!"She seems a bit startled, and you lower your voice... Your still getting used to this."What? Where did you want to go?""...How about we go out somewhere? We haven't done that in a while... Or at least slept together?"It seems Liz thinks this is a good time for a date...Actions>Perfect thing to do after eating a giant robot and getting YUGE... Is a date. Sounds great.>...Why don't we sleep together? Sure! Sounds great...>...Why don't we tumble? I'm certainly in the mood.>...I should go, sorry...>Write-in
>>1497636>Perfect thing to do after eating a giant robot and getting YUGE... Is a date. Sounds great.
You decide to go on a date with Liz...She seems to want you to remain in your dragon form... And her in her human form...Huh.Interesting.Actions>Take her out to a place to eat?>Shift to a different form... (Liz will be a bit disappointed.)>Let her on your back and fly around?>Take her to a trip on France or Italy?>Write-in
>>1497671>Take her to a trip on France or Italy?
>>1497671Dnd dimension. Also provides excuse to meet grandparents
Rolling here in 15 minutes anons.
Rolled 2 (1d2)Rolling.1=Vacation to France or Italy!2=Vacation to D&D land!
Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can convince Liz to go on vacation to D&D land...+3 for great convincing arguments...+2 if you can use your size against her.+1 if you can mention how adorable and cute she looks...
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>1497728
16+4=20Liz gets convinced easily to go on a trip to D&D land...You begin to fly there...What do anons want to do with Liz when they get there?>Visit the kobolds!>Visit Cortez with Liz? She can get him to like you again...>...Visit your parents.>Go to find your grandparents/>Write-in
>>1497809>Go to find your grandparents/They're a force of good right?
>>1497809>Go to find your grandparentsHow big are they?
You decide to go find your grandparents...When you get to the next dimension, you set this into task already...Actions>Maybe some mortals have heard where your grandparents reside? Ask around...>Go ask your mother? She doesn't really want you to see them though.>Just fly and search...>Write-in
>>1497930>Maybe some mortals have heard where your grandparents reside? Ask around..
>>1497930>go ask our aunt
You decide to go ask your aunt...Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if she's in the mood...+3 if you can try to not exactly scare her with your new size at her lair...+2 if you can tell Liz who your aunt is, and her name...
Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1498018>her nameI forgot
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>1498018What's the multiplier for enlarge person, a spell that we already know? Asking for a friend
If anons can do the bonuses, she'll meet you with open arms.
>>1498100We should just move on. I can't find her name in the archives and I don't exactly remember what her character is like
>>1498018Show up as 80 storiesThe is my aunt, another dragon.I can't find a mention either
>>1498147Found it! Kryatalia
You show up to your aunt's lair and she seems in a good mood...Now, you just need to ask her about the grandparents...Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if she'll tell you...+3 if you can slightly go mad with power as you talk...+2 if you can show off your beautiful wife to Kryatalia!+2 if you can also mention why you want to see them.
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1498205>This is my wife Elizabeth or just Liz if you wish to be casual.
>>1498224Guess we are angrily asking herPreemptive yes on barbaric
>>1498243I'm not sure... I don't want to act like a nigger around family
Use barbaric anons?>Yes!>No!
>>1498276I mean I to keep civility among kin but I also want to know where our grandparents are so I guess use barbaric
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1498290I'll be driving for 30 mins so I'll just roll now
Rolled 3 (1d20)May as well roll now
Roll me a 1d20+4 anons.+3 if you can barbarically show off your size...+2 if you can show off your wife, and your barbaric devoution to her...+2 if you can think about all the POWER you have now...
Rolled 13 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>1498336Ren can literally swipe away entire armored divisions with his tail and pretty soon can probably nuke entire cities with just his breath.
>>1498351If you can try to do the rest of the bonuses, your aunt won't exactly be alienated by this.
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1498336Go full size and shot-put a large part of a mountainDo dead lifts with her as the bar at full sizeNo-one in the WORLD can compare to me! Everyone will bow in due time!
>>1498385Stand tall and twitch our eyes a little bit to make us look kinda crazy.When we walk in carry Elizabeth over our back and then set her down in front of our aunt to see. Then pick her back up and hold her tightly
13+11=24You of course, go to your full size, showing off to your aunt... By punting the top of a mountain off, and easily lifting your wife up and down...You aunt seems very impressed, and tells you that your grandparents are to the north... Around the tundra, really...Hm.It might be a bit hard to fly northward... Mostly from the cold.Actions>Do it anyways!>See if your mother can help you go up north...>...Maybe you should look into an easier way... Like hiring a mage to teleport you or something.>Write-in
>>1498435FuggLet's go see Cortez now
>>1498435>>See if your mother can help you go up north...>By a cold resistance artifact or something from mages
Cortez isn't going to really like you coming anon. You sure?
>>1498471Well Liz can get Cortez to like us again
>>1498477Why doesn't Elizabeth go to see Cortez, while Renexizious goes to see his grandparents?
>>1498482>Being pragmatic and splitting up>Ren seeing his grandparents>Ren sending his wife to reconcile with his son from another woman>Having to potentially trek through dangerous terrainFuck. I have to consider this
Well... I'm just going to split it. Liz can go see Cortez, and you can try to arrange to see your grandparents..."So... Dear? Who exactly is this "Cortez" anyways?""Cortez?""Well, you haven't exactly told me..."Actions>He's a bastard child I had...>...He's my younger sibling? (Lie)>...I erm... I didn't really mean to be unfaithful to you... Or forget to tell you about this...>...Nevermind, he's just some Spainard you wouldn't like.>Write-in
>>1498502>He's a bastard child I had...>...I erm... I didn't really mean to be unfaithful to you... Or forget to tell you about this...>...also he's incredibly socially awkward, even more than Chrysoula. Because she's a Half-Dragon in a Anti-dragon world, the only "friend" he's been able to have is just a doll.
Roll me a 1d20-3 to see if Liz continues to tolerate your unfaithfulness...+2 if you can try to make it out to be no "big deal really"+2 if you can mention how Liz is far more pretty, and has greater kids?+2 if you can apologize from the heart for your lack of chasity and forgetting to tell her this.+1 if you can remind her of her maternal ways of adopting kids?
Rolled 11 - 3 (1d20 - 3)>>1498522
You want to do the bonuses anons?
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1498522
>>1498592What the fuck is this? Some kind of Jewish conspiracy to destroy the literal Draconian nuclear family?
I'm trying to think anons. I really am. Does anyone have ideas?
>>1498617Liz forgives us this one time and the 20 greatly helps our relationship with Cortez, rather than making her completely okay with us having other children
How old is Cortez, could she think he's from before we met her? Maybe she's come to expect this and most of her fury gets transferred into trying to get us to stop fucking everything that moves somehow. I do have a last resort idea, but it's extremely degenerate.
Critical Success!"So... Well, he's kind of a bastard kid...""From how long ago?""...A few years?"She sighs, a sharp sigh of disappointment, and slightly lost hope."Liz, I ddin't meant to be unfaithful to you... Besides, he's incredibly socially awkward, even more than Chrysoula. Because she's a Half-Dragon in a Anti-dragon world, the only "friend" he's been able to have is just a doll."She seems to give a bit of a sigh."Ren, you can't just go around having all sorts of kids...""Liz, come on. Trust me, it's when I was still young and stupid...""...Ren, this happens far too much for my liking...""...I know, I know. I'm sorry.""...Well... Listen, you should of told me about this earlier... I don't want things like this to just pop up.""...Really?""I don't want to suddenly travel to Germany and hear how you slept with the Kaiser's daughter or something, and I certainly don't want to suddenly hear about you siring bastard children... I want to hear it from you.""...Erm..."She sighs."I mean, that I want you to be honest to me and not forget... I came out to have a good time with my husband too...""I'll make it up to you."She sighs."Ren, sometimes I feel like you don't really "care" about this relationship... All these women...""Liz! Don't ever say that!"She sighs, and it's clear she feels a bit betrayed, but is trying to be understanding."...Listen, Ren... Do you think I'm boring or something?""No! Of course not!""...Then why do you sleep with all these girls? I don't see the reason..."She hugs you gently, and seems quite hurt, and looks up at you with caring eyes... She genuinely wants to know why..."...I mean, it's really great with the stress levels, that sort of thing.""...If you're stressed, you can ask me, ok? I'll do anything for you.""...Really?""Ren, really. You're the man I married, and you're the man I love! I'd never leave you.""...I know...""Listen... If you feel like this is a problem, we should talk about it... Worst case scenario we see a therapist before this gets out of control...""I'm fine Liz...""...Please... I think you should abstain a bit from the lustful behavior... At least unless it's with me... Otherwise we'll see a therapist, ok? You can talk about what stresses you out, and if you don't like it, I'll be your therapist damn it..."She gives you a hug, clearly caring a bit about you...>...I'd rather see a therapist...>...Listen, Liz... I know how much it hurts you, and I just can't stand it... Fine. I'll abstain a bit... (Renexizious will no longer get the option to flirt or court strangers...)>...Liz, there's some things I should tell you...>Write-i-n
>>1498669>>...Listen, Liz... I know how much it hurts you, and I just can't stand it... Fine. I'll abstain a bit... (Renexizious will no longer get the option to flirt or court strangers...)Finally!
>>1498669>...Listen, Liz... I know how much it hurts you, and I just can't stand it... Fine. I'll abstain a bit... (Renexizious will no longer get the option to flirt or court strangers...)A BLESSED END TO THE GOD DAMNED KIKERY!
You sigh... It's painful, really, it is."Listen, Liz... I know how much it hurts you, and I just can't stand it... I'll abstain a bit, ok?"She gives you a hug."Thank you, Ren.""...Why exactly are the two of you having a family conversation in the middle of my lair?" Your aunt asks..."Not now... Anyways, I'm sorry Liz... For all of this."Liz seems overwhelmingly happy."...So, what's this I hear about one of... Well, our kids being raised all alone?""Our?""Well, I won't let him starve or something... That'd be cruel.""He's about... Well, he's fully grown.""Oh... Well... What's the plan regarding him?""What do you want to do?""I'd say adopt. It's standard prcoedure..."Actions>...Sure. Maybe you can adopt Cortez?>...Liz, you need to be the best... Well, mom you can be to Cortez... I really need him to like me again.>...I'd rather not even acknowledge his existence.>...I think it's fine as it is...>Write-in
>>1498721>>...Sure. Maybe you can adopt Cortez?>>...Liz, you need to be the best... Well, mom you can be to Cortez... I really need him to like me again.
>>1498721>Write-in"Well, there's a slight problem. He's already his own man, self made, come to power without any help. He doesn't really need us for anything, as well as made clear he doesn't really want anything to do with us. I really don't want to ruin any of that for the boy, I'd just like to not have my own son as an enemy.
"Liz... Alright, we can "adopt" him... And you should really attempt to be the best mom you can be. But there's a slight problem, He's already his own man, self made, come to power without any help. He doesn't really need us for anything, as well as made clear he doesn't really want anything to do with us. I really don't want to ruin any of that for the boy, I'd just like to not have my own son as an enemy...""Ren, don't worry... He'll love you again in no time."You are now Liz, and you are going to where ever Cortez is, and of course, try to convince him to not hate Renexizious...And slightly adopt him, of course... Though you are planning to leave him alone if he doesn't exactly like it.It takes you a few minutes before you fly above the duchy and set down...Hm.What form anons?>Human.>Half-dragon?>...Yuan-ti?>Minotaur?>You should just go straight up to the front drawbridge in your dragon form and knock politely and eloquently!>Write-in for forms.
>>1499765So our choices are:Human womanGiant dragon woman30 foot long snek woman with 4 armsA fucking minotaur womanA dragon.I think I am going to go with Human, so we don't scare the shit out of the guards.
Human it is...You of course, go straight to the front drawbridge and ask to see the duke... You get told he's in planning, doesn't want to be disturbed...Roll me a 1d20+4 to convince the guards to let you by.+3 for assets.+2 if you can talk about why you really do need to see him...+1 if you can guilt-trip the guards a bit?
Rolled 13 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1499834
Rolled 6 + 10 (1d20 + 10)>>1499834Lean towards the guard(s?)."I really must speak with him, on a matter of great urgency regarding the dragon that was here not too long ago.Please sirs, you wouldn't leave a lady to wait out here in the cold would you? At least let me into this castle, as the outside is hardly a safe place for one such as I..."
13+10=23You give a good lean towards the guards and they quickly let you inside...You go inside and of course, go into the throne room... It's rather barren for one, to be fair...Cortez seems to be sitting on a throne, reading through plenty of documents... You cough for his attention. He seems to be wearing a very heavy suit of armor!"What do you wa-"He suddenly notices your erm... Assets. He awkwardly stammers a bit."I erm... My regards, ma'am, but erm... Who are you?"Goddamn it, this is awkward... Is he actually attracted to you?Actions>Reveal yourself?>...Hi... I'm here about your father.>...Why exactly are you hiding your face from me? You don't exactly have much to fear.>Shapeshift?>...You may call me Queen Elizabeth... (Or just Elizabeth!)>Write-in
>>1499908>...Why exactly are you hiding your face from me? You don't exactly have much to fear.>...You may call me Queen Elizabeth... (Or just Elizabeth!)>...Hi... I'm here about your father.
"Well, you may call me Queen Elizabeth... I'm here about your father... So why exactly are you hiding your face from me? You don't have much to fear...""Medical condition.""Medical condition?""I erm... I have leprosy, ma'am.'Hm.Actions>...Press further?>...Stop with that "ma'am" shtick, please.>Talk about his father a bit?>Write-in
>>1499931>...Stop with that "ma'am" shtick, please.>Write-in"Leprosy? Then chances are you shouldn't be commanding a nation or wearing such heavy armour.Whatever your reasons for covering yourself, which trust me I probably know, I won't force this issue.">Talk about his father a bit?
"Listen, stop with that ma'am shtick please... But really, if you do have leprosy then chances are you shouldn't be commanding a nation or wearing such heavy armour. Whatever your reasons for covering yourself, which trust me I probably know, I won't force this issue. Now, about your father..."Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if he's actually in the mood to talk about him.+3 if you can try to talk about his father and acknowledge why he probably dislikes him..+2 if you can properly introduce yourself.+2 if you can get him to stop staring at your assets. That's just weird.+1 if you can slightly trail off and talk about Renexizious and how erm... Handsome and huge he is... Well, now at least... (+1 for slightly lustful thoughts.)
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1500068
Rolled 2 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>1500068"First off, can you stop staring? Yes I am quite aware of it and as much as I usually don't care, I feel it is rather inappropriate considering your relationship with me.This is because I am Queen Elizabeth the second: Ruler of England, scotland, wales, ireland, canada and a bunch of other places. I am married to Renexizious Thorson: Ruler of Sweden, Norway, Iceland, Master of Russia, Finland, France and many other nations. He is your father.I know you have met him and can guess why you dislike him: he runs about messing with everything in sight and seemingly never has time for you or anyone else and when he does it always gets cut short and he runs off to deal with something else or the fact that he seemingly forgets about people for months at a time and then runs off to go and catch up as if it was only yesterday they last talked.Or the fact that he goes around trying to solve all his problems by violence and enslaving others without thinking. No matter how handsome he looks in his giant dragon form...muscles clear through his scales...eyes lovingly looking at you...em, ignore that. Anyway my point is that I understand he is a person who runs about getting involved in your plans and making you love him before suddenly disappearing off again and often ends up ruining your plans or messing something up for you but he does try."
Well, if anons want to try to get a higher success, they can samefag and continue to talk dreamily about him... And also try to tell Cortez how hard it's been being married to him.
Continuing in the next 25 minutes anons. Going to get breakfast.
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1500326>1 more on the west coast>getting breakfast
>>1500445>1 pm Autocorrect fuckery
Alright, so chose anons...>Liz gets Cortez to be very willing to hear what she has to say about his father, and will accept most if not all the things you say as fact.>Liz gets Cortez to "slightly" breakdown and be wishful for Ren to actually be a bit of a father figure. If Ren doesn't come to actually act like one, Cortez maaay become a bit more NEET, and look for other father-figures.>Cortez considers Elizabeth to be family, but still is distrustful of Renexizious. If anons can pull this off, Cortez can get to like both Ren and Liz.
>>1500736>Liz gets Cortez to "slightly" breakdown and be wishful for Ren to actually be a bit of a father figure. If Ren doesn't come to actually act like one, Cortez maaay become a bit more NEET, and look for other father-figures.Seems the easier route all things considered.
Breakdown it is.Now, roll me a 1d20+4 to see how well Liz can talk to Cortez and boost his opinion of Renexizious BEFORE the breakdown.+3 if Liz can talk about why Renexizious does love each and one of his kids... And there are a lot of them.+2 if Liz can talk about personal experiences with Ren and how he's a great father, husband... That sort of thing. (+1 if Liz can also talk a bit about how Ren tries to improve, and talk about the less then admirable behavior Ren does...)+2 if Liz can talk a bit about how even Cortez needs a father and how it'd be great for him...+1 if Liz can also continue to think about Renexizious becoming quite a bit more attractive in his huge form...If everything's done, Cortez will believe that his father tries at the very least, and it'll also be an autosucccess.
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1500791
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>1500791
>>1500791"I mean he does try to make up for it, like giving my nation a sum of money when we needed it or him getting a large ring he made by hand for our marriage or promising to stop flirting with others at my request or giving me part of France as a gift or all the times he took care of me while I was pregnant or him writing me a poem.It's not like he doesn't try to make time for his children either but he does have about 20 of them to take care of and watch over that I know of. All with their own problems, I mean two of them are vampires and the rest all have their own problems to deal with. Admittedly he is the reason one of them is a vampire but in saying that he did bring her back from the dead by doing so and I love him for it.The simple fact is that you need his help. Even if you won't admit it, getting angry and not speaking with him gets nothing done and he does care about you like he cares about all of his children. It's just he can't always stick around between everything he takes care of like his nation, somethings involving the gods he believes in and his friends but if you can tell him a problem, he will try and fix it or at least comfort you about it for as long as possible. He can't always deal with it immediately or even stick around for long but all these things remain somewhere inside that giant head of his.""...I wonder how muscly his form is? I never got to see it all, especially in a good lighting...slick with sweat and saliva from our exertions..."
Autosuccess.>>1500791 (You)"I mean he does try to make up for it, like giving my nation a sum of money when we needed it or him getting a large ring he made by hand for our marriage or promising to stop flirting with others at my request or giving me part of France as a gift or all the times he took care of me while I was pregnant or him writing me a poem.It's not like he doesn't try to make time for his children either but he does have about 20 of them to take care of and watch over that I know of. All with their own problems, I mean two of them are vampires and the rest all have their own problems to deal with. Admittedly he is the reason one of them is a vampire but in saying that he did bring her back from the dead by doing so and I love him for it.The simple fact is that you need his help. Even if you won't admit it, getting angry and not speaking with him gets nothing done and he does care about you like he cares about all of his children. It's just he can't always stick around between everything he takes care of like his nation, somethings involving the gods he believes in and his friends but if you can tell him a problem, he will try and fix it or at least comfort you about it for as long as possible. He can't always deal with it immediately or even stick around for long but all these things remain somewhere inside that giant head of his.""...I don't need his help.""Really? Who's been your father figure then?""...He's dead.""Oh, really? My condolences... But as a mother, it is my firm belief that you should have somesort of father-figure.""I'm fine on my own.""...Have you even given Renexizious a chance?""...Does he even care about me? I see little proof.""And I see little proof you even gave him a chance. Now, before you disregard my husband like moldy bread, why don't you try to... Do some of that father-son bonding that I hear so much about?""...I'm fine.""...Listen, you need a father-figure, and who better then a two-hundred story dragon?"You try to avoid thinking about how attractive he is, especially now... Truly dreamy."...Mayhaps someone who cares?""It is my firm belief that he cares about you. He has so much to do though, that it may not appear immediately...""I don't even want to be associated to him.""Like it or not, you are his child, and by extension, my adopted child.""I'm not somesort of seven-year-old misfit...""...Before you continue, I'd like to remind you that you are most likely still a teen, and that I am highly regarded as "overly motherly" by my own kids, most of which are either rulers, businessmen, or at least in the army, and I will make it clear that I don't discriminate. If you dare to continue down that line of thinking that you are too old for me to either embarrass, coddle or take care of, you are dead wrong.""...Are you threatening to... Embarrass me?"Continuing.
>>1501031"Yes. I am indeed threatening to embarrass you, in your own castle, and be forever called "babyface" behind closed doors. Now, are you going to be associated with Renexizious at the very least?""Your joking, why woul-""Do you think I'm playing somesort of game? Now, if you dare even think that my husband or I won't take care of you to the best of our abilities, I promise you that he'll be one of the finest father figures, and I myself one of the most caring mothers you'll ever find upon this plane of existence and the next. So tell me... Why do I hear it that you lack any friends of any high caliber? Or any, of that matter?""I erm... I don't see how this is any of your busin-""It is my business, as it is your father's. Now, has your previous father figure indeed helped you with making friendships, or toughening you up for the world?""I erm... Well...""...Speak up.""...No? I've barely seen him when he was around...""I see. Well, let me tell you how a father does things..."Roll me a 1d20+4 to inspire in Cortez a bit of a breakdown and wishing to indeed see his father.+3 if you can tell him about all the things he's missing by not having Renexizious try to help him as a father...+2 if you can attest to Renexizious's good parenting?+2 if you can mention how much of a good mother you are too... Just as self-advertising.+1 for more lustful thoughts about Ren.
Rolled 13 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1501064
Rolled 17 (1d20)
Shit, I gotta clean some stuff up. I'll be back soon I guess.If anons want a higher success just do the bonuses I guess.
>>1501144I'm in the middle of vindictive nowhere but I'll try.Our son Viktor is the leader of another nation. A rival nation. Who do you think got Victor the skills to do this? Of course I helped.He was big at 60 stories. What about now?
Just got back anons.17+7=24You of course, tell Cortez about what skills Renexizious has given Viktor...It takes a while, but after a bit, Cortez seems to be a bit... Well, quiet."...Well, I certainly wish someone gave me those skills in life.""Well, Renexizious can. You just need to let him.""...I suppose I'll talk to him."You give him a grateful smile."Oh, that's wonderful..."Actions>...Though it'll take him a while to get here, you know... (Cortez will be a bit annoyed.)>I'll get him right away...>...It'll take Renexizious quite a while to get here, he's visiting his parents... (Cortez will be annoyed!)>...Just say you'll tell him... Fly out to tell Ren, and head back to buy time for Renexizious.>...Well, I think we should have some personal time... Seeing as you are now officially family and I barely know you... (Liz will try to bond with Cortez. This may improve Cortez's opinion of Renexizious.)>Write-in
>>1501372>...Well, I think we should have some personal time... Seeing as you are now officially family and I barely know you... (Liz will try to bond with Cortez. This may improve Cortez's opinion of Renexizious.)
You decide to try and bond with him.Roll me a 1d20+4 anons.+3 if you can come up with a... Way to bond with him.+2 if you can acknowledge how strange this is to him...+2 if you can continue to talk good things about his father!+1 if you can share some good old hobbies to make you sound relatable!+1 if you can also mention how you were technically human in the past, and how you changed!+1 if you can also be caring and slightly maternal... (But not overboard, mind you. Things like offering him tea or something.)
Rolled 11 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1501473Talk about the history of England and "fantasy" tales like Kingn Arthur.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>1501473I have an incredibly spotty connection but I'll try to keep up
Anyone else? Continuing in forty minutes while I play Men of War.
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>1501764
11+7=18FailureYou talk to him about how nice England is, and tell him tales of England and that sort of thing...He seems rather bored by this, and clearly isn't really paying attention. He's focused on a "war" or something, and is pretty much ignoring you.Actions>...Try to encourage him a bit to be more... Social.>...Ignore this and just continue to talk.>...Snipe at him by asking if he treats his own mother this way?>Write-in
>>1501976>Write-inTake an interest in his war and point out we might be able to help.
>>1501976>...Try to encourage him a bit to be more... Social.
Rolled 2 (1d2)Rolling.1=Encourage him to be social?2=Offer to help in the war!
Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if he accepts your help?+3 if you can talk about what you can do to help him in the war...+2 if you can talk about his father and how he could EASILY take care of it. (+1 for once again, thinking of his brutish charm in his larger form...)+2 if you can mention how you don't just look pretty, but are just as deadly as any dragon...
Rolled 16 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1502146
16+3=19"...Listen, if your so focused about this war, why don't you let me take care of it?""I highly doubt you can end a war by yourself, you know.""...Really now?""I'm vetoing any plan you have of either slavery, destroying villages, or setting cities on fire or anything akin to that."Actions>Well, I'll get your father to take care of it... He can be quite menacing, you know.>Why don't I charm them into just surrendering? It'll be rather simple...>...Excuse me, but I highly doubt they've ever even FOUGHT a dragon. I'll be right back.>Write-in
>>1502465>Write-in"You are acting as if two dragons suddenly turning up at their capital and threatening them wouldn't get you a peace deal in a minute. Especially with my talents in peace deals....I assume that your opponent's leaders are males, right?"
>>1502465>Why don't I charm them into just surrendering? It'll be rather simple...
You give a bit of a scoff."Bah! You are acting as if two dragons suddenly turning up at their capital and threatening them wouldn't get you a peace deal in a minute. Especially with my talents in peace deals.... I assume that your opponent's leaders are males, right?""Well, the king is, yes, but there's also the Queen who also rul-""Marvelous! Now, watch the power of British diplomacy!""What the hell is that?""...Well, we're not the strongest empire in the world for nothing... Now, if you'll excuse me..."You quickly leave...Do you want to get Renexizious>Yes. (...To be honest, if he shows up in his full size, the roll will only be failed by really a nat 1 or a 2...)>No, no... You'd rather keep things simple. (If she does it on her own, without violence, making a scene, and not even using her dragon form, you won't attract dragon hunters/adventurers... Or piss off Cortez by attracting dragon hunters/adventurers who might suspect him to be draconic.)
>>1502496>No, no... You'd rather keep things simple. (If she does it on her own, without violence, making a scene, and not even using her dragon form, you won't attract dragon hunters/adventurers... Or piss off Cortez by attracting dragon hunters/adventurers who might suspect him to be draconic.)
You decide to not get Renexizious...Anyways, you fly to the capital of this realm...Actions>Show up in your dragon form and nicely ask for their surrender? (...You'll attract dragon hunters like flies and maggots to a corpse left out!)>...Show up in your dragon form and attack a bit! (Same as above.)>...Land a bit away, and shapeshift to a different form? (You'll need to get in... Though because this is a city, no one is going to look at you twice if you look a bit different... Just not too different. If you don't use a draconic or dragon form, you won't have dragon hunters come.)>Write-in
>>1502530>...Land a bit away, and shapeshift to a different form? (You'll need to get in... Though because this is a city, no one is going to look at you twice if you look a bit different... Just not too different. If you don't use a draconic or dragon form, you won't have dragon hunters come.)Yuan-ti. Let's go full strength weird but regal as fuck.
Yuan-ti it is...You of course go straight to the entrance.The guards however, notice your approach... And judging from a yell and them leveling halberds, they must think your somesort of monster!Roll me a 1d20+4 anons!+3 if you can try to show that you aren't hostile, or somesort of cretinious monster! You are in fact quite peaceful!+2 for de-escalation using assets.+2 if you can come up with an excuse to see the ruler...+1 if you can of course, slightly show off how long you are too, to the guards. Why not?
Rolled 10 + 12 (1d20 + 12)>>1502589Wave at them and then bow...unintentionally lewdly."Hello there, I wish to see your ruler as I want to discuss their current war with another group and haven't got much time.Now if you could stand aside, so I can manoeuvre my lengthy body past you, that would be nice."
>>1502612Eh. I'd say you pass if you can introduce yourself and reassure the guards of your peaceful intentions...
>>1502616Explain we are the diplomat and queen Elizabeth of the kingdom of England.
10+12=24You of course, explain that you are indeed a diplomat and a Queen, to the guards... They shrug and decide to "escort" you to the palace... They aren't exactly letting you off the leash, and you must say, you don't exactly like the look of this town...You eventually get escorted to the castle, and many knights, damsels, and other such things give stares at you... Eventually you get escorted to the keep itself and told to go inside...You get inside to the large keep... It's not too impressive compared to your own... Now, how are you going to do this?>(Attractive)Charm the king into hanging onto every word you say...>Try to convince the king to simply stop the war?>Threaten the king!>...Dragon form right in the middle of the hall?>Shapeshift.>Write-in
>>1502649>Shapeshift.Human form.>(Attractive)Charm the king into hanging onto every word you say...
>>1502654Human form will be a bit less effective, and might confuse some people on who you are again, since the king is expecting somesort of "monster" to approach him.
>>1502658Fine remain Yuan-ti
You of course, approach the throne, and give a courteous bow. The King himself seems surprised, along with the Queen...Roll me a 1d20+4 for first impressions!+3 for a polite introduction on who you are, and what you are.+2 for asset use... (+1 if you can inspire envy in the other Queen!)+2 if you can be seductive in your introduction...+1 if you can come up with a reason or excuse why your interested in this civil war...
Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1502676
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1502676
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>1502676
If anons can get at least a +6 bonus modifier you'll pass.
>>1503247Bow once more, unintentionally lewdly and then apologise about, something something very few others have to deal with it something something jealous queen."Greetings your highness's, king and queen of this mighty kingdom. I am a Yuan-ti and the Queen of another kingdom in a distant land but that fact is unimportant as of this moment in time as my reason for being here is you. I am here to broker a peace between you and your enemy in this civil war.This is because it is negatively impacting my people's trade by destabilising the region, decreasing the effectiveness of our communications with spies in other nations as our couriers have historically routed through your nation and this war is getting in the way."You give it whatever value you feel appropriate, I need to get ready to go out for a meal.
>>1503247>Grettings. I am the Yuan-Ti Queen of the Kingdom of England and a benevolent one. I have come here to speak on behalf of Duke Cortez to negotiate a peaceful resolution in this conflict so that the people of the realm will endure less bloodshed and so that trade may carry on undisturbed.Since we're a Yuan-Ti, very gently and casually sway our hips back and forth as we're standing. Also give a quick look at the Queen with eyes saying that we're better than her and could cuck her husband if we wanted.
You give another fast bow, and your breasts jiggle most impressively.You introduce yourself and talk about how you are indeed a yuan-ti and a queen, how it's affecting your people's trade and getting in the way of courtiers...The king seems remarkably resistant, but is giving you a good look over... He's resistant but not immune to your seductive movements. His wife on the other hand, gives him a glare.He remembers his place, and is attempting to not stare...Damnations. This may be a bit harder than you thought."I don't Actions>(Attractive) Intensify the assets. You have more than just boobs, you know...>Try to eliminate the Queen from this... She's going to keep her husband from being charmed!>...Talk about how your tired or whatnot, and need a bit of a rest... Getting a room would let you do more... Seductive and more... Backstabby methods.>...Mmmm... Dragon form?>Shapeshift.>Write-in
>>1503349>(Attractive) Intensify the assets. You have more than just boobs, you know...
Roll me a 1d20+4 to use assets.+3 if you can use other assets and use your boobs, and intensify using them to be attractive. (Has to be more extreme than last time.)+2 if you can continue to make the Queen extremely salty...+1 if you can show off your size seductively?
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1503376
Well...Do anons want to use Scottish Rage?
Roll me a 1d20 anons.+3 if you can use your assets in a very unregal manner towards them! (+2 if you can also use another type of asset along with boobs!)+2 if you can encourage him to be charmed and listen to you...+2 if you can make fun of the Queen and how fuckin' ugly she is compared to you. (+1 if you can do it like a true scot.)
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1503412
Back from my break.17You somehow manage to keep the king's attention, and continue to talk about a peace deal...Actions>Try to make it in Cortez's favour.>Ty to make it neutral... A white peace.>Try to make it in the king's favour.>...Try to make it in you and your husband's favor...>Write-in
>>1504314>Try to make it in Cortez's favour.
You of course, attempt to sway it in Cortez's favor..."...Are you mad? Why would I surrender? The war is practically undecided!"The king doesn't see any reason to surrender... Charm isn't going to help you here!If you actually do want to get him to even consider it, you'd have to get him to literally fall in love with you.Actions>...Come up with a reason for him to surrender?>...Mayhaps you can mention your husband? That'd be quite... Well, it'd certainly shock him.>...Try to get him alone for a conversation and seduce him.>Write-in
>>1504804>...Come up with a reason for him to surrender?
>>1504898Forgot to clarify, but you have come up with a reason. No rolling, just have to come up with something.
>>1504943Make a bluff and say that Cortez has hired foreign mercanariea, including very elite wizards, and that he doesn't possibly stand a chance against. Also Cortez will be merciful if he surrenders now.
>>1504943If there is no surrender, two creatures of great power will come into your kingdom. One will be cunning, crippling your forces very own will to fight and destroying their means to do battle, as well as steal away every supporter of the kingdom, turning former friend to foe and bring with it wanton revolt in it's name. The second is a creature of such immense power, just below that of a good, that it can eradicate entire cities in a single breath without leaving a survivor to tell of it's dead, the only witnesses to it would be those far off in the distance, witnessing a being as tall as a the world's largest mountain.
>>1505471Just below that of a god*
Sorry about being dead. I had to spend personal time with peoples."If there is no surrender, two creatures of great power will come into your kingdom. One will be cunning, crippling your forces very own will to fight and destroying their means to do battle, as well as steal away every supporter of the kingdom, turning former friend to foe and bring with it wanton revolt in it's name. The second is a creature of such immense power, just below that of a good, that it can eradicate entire cities in a single breath without leaving a survivor to tell of it's dead, the only witnesses to it would be those far off in the distance, witnessing a being as tall as a the world's largest mountain..."Roll me a 1d20+3 for fearmongering.+3 if you can cast Renexizious in an even more terrifying light! (+1 if you can however, also spread thine positive PR by talking about how nice he is... +1 if you can slightly trail off into how attractitve he is.)+2 if you can also fearmongering a bit about yourself... (+1 if you can however, portray yourself in a positive light!)
Rolled 5 + 10 (1d20 + 10)>>1506109"The first of these, the cunning one, is a wise lady and a good mother but she is protective of her children and those she cares for. She will use her beauty, knowledge and position to take you down. A few words have made the unloving fall for her, a few words have convinced armies to fight in her defence and a few words have convinced leaders to bend to her will. Yet she is mighty in strength as well, though she uses it more rarely and tries to rely on it last. She is also gifted with the ability to heal the wounded of her followers and at the same time bring death to her enemies in a similar manner.The second of these, the death-bringer, is a king of many lands that he chose to subjugate and...honestly he has done some pretty good work there, except for the fact he deal with rebellions by killing them all and tortures the murders of his kingdom in dark experiments. The only warning of his arrival you shall have is the sun being blotted out from the sky by his bulk, the ground shaking at his landing and the whirlwind that his vast wings bring. As his three-headed form brings nothing but fire and necrotic death to all who oppose him.He lost an eye long ago, yet it only made him stronger by allowing him to use an artefact of his own creation to see and enter a intense rage but this pales in comparison to his other abilities: shape-shifting, magic, demon summoning and much more. Some say he even makes pacts with dark gods and such to grant him strength, yet others say it is to protect his people at cost to him.Assuming he is kind, he will merely enslave you all and sell you to his allies. Where you will toil in terrible mines extracting them great mineral wealth until you die. If you aren't lucky or you manage to piss him off? I would pray for you immortal soul's protection from whatever he has planned.I know of only 1 omen. The dead shall arise from the earth and in their broken forms move against the living like the vanguard of the coming storm and as if the veil between the living and dead becomes thin before him. Their forms twisting together to become stronger and their foes arising as well to assist them in their fights. Although the legends don't speak of how many shall rise I wouldn't take your chances...Still who am I but a strange woman, from distant lands, of strange form and abilities? Why should you listen to a wise woman over your simple instincts? I can't prevent it if you ignore my advice and I can't stop it if it comes down to it. Surrender then isn't as good as peace now, seeing as your people will almost certainly suffer. Even if it is only the desecration of your graveyards and tombs."
>>1506220Oooh, nicely done.So good, the only thing I'll have you do for a instant success is just to trail off thinking romantically of Renexizious during this.
>>1506238Bitch it's 7 in the morning, I haven't slept and I drank slightly last night. Can I just get a pass?
>>1506244Oy vey, it must be anodah shoah for you.I'm tired too, so I guess I'll just let you roll two more times. Or you can just do that bonus.
>>1506250You are a cruel, cruel man. Fine I'll do the bonus."God I wonder if he can actually blot out the sun? I mean, I can just imagine going on a date, complaining about it and him protecting me...his tail wrapping over my shoulder..."
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>1506109
Rolled 13 (1d20)You of course, launch into how epic he is, along with how epic you are.Not too long after that, the king seems quite afraid, and begins to negotiate...Meanwhile, in America...Ignore my roll.
You are currently Maria, and some interesting things have happened.Firstly, while you were talking to Maria and walking past a park, you ran into somesort of man playing a guitar, and offered brownies. She accepted of course, being quite curious. A few minutes later, she's like... Well, like this..."...Have you ever considered how the world works? Like... I mean... How did all these humans get to this point?""...How am I supposed to know?""...I don't know... Where are we going again?""We were going to leave back for Sweden?""Boooooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnng... You know what'd be great? Why don't we go roller skating? I've never done that before... I mean, you'd look really funny, tripping all over the place...""Right... I erm, I don't think they have anything for half-dragons."She laughs a bit."I'm certain they don't have anything for dragons! Imagine me trying to put on tiny little roller skate shoes... That'd be adorable...""...Oh.""...Whow... Man... Those brownies were really something else. Have you ever thought about colors though? I mean, what if there's colors beyond our vision...""Why are you asking me that?""Because I'm seeing like... All of them...""...Now I'm worried since you stole the pan of brownies, and are apparently delirious...""I love food... Besides I'm fine... Man, this reminds me of the aurora's at home...""Maybe you should sit down?"Roll me a 1d20 to see how well Renexizia can resist drugs.Only one roll please.
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>1508365
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>1508365Op why did you give the child the drugs? Op why?
Rolled 7 (1d20)I'm evil.12"...Eh... I'm fine! Hip as a hippo...""Yeah, no.""Please... You know, why don't we get some food?""...We ate... Well, you ate at least an hour ago...""I'm a growing dragon... Also I'm starving now.""...What did you want?""Tacos.""...Tacos.""Yeah!""...Where are we going to find tacos? What the hell is even a taco?""...It's like... Ok, it's this weird thing the Mexicans make, and it's GREAT. Like... The only thing better is American food or mom's cooking.""...Seriously. Where the hell are we going to fi-""We're going to mexico! Can you speak spanish?""Erm... No? And that's a terrible idea, how are we going to get to Mexi-""That's easy! We need to get past the border..."Ignore my roll anons.
It doesn't take too long for Renexizia to come up with an absolutely absurd plan."OK! So here's the plan! We need to convince the border agents that we're ACTUALLY mexicans! So we're going to buy some sombarero's or whatever they're called, and a pancho! Oh, and those little mexican moustaches! In order to replicate the mexican's skin color though, we'll have to be half-dragons and paint ourselves orange! Now, the truck should be spray-painted with the flag of Mexico JUST so the agents know we're totally mexicano or whatever, then of course we go to phase two...""What the fuck are you even talking abo-""AFTER THEY DENY US WE RAM THROUGH THE FRONT GATE AT HIGHLY DANGEROUS SPEED!"She gives a clearly dangerous smile."Now, as we get in a high speed pursuit with the Americans, we'll JUST so happen to have a small arsenal of guns in the back...""Don't tell me we're going to shoot them!""No! Are you insane? We'll THROW the guns onto the road! Americans have this strange thing for them, treating them like kids! They'll pull over and try to save them, letting us do a clean getaway so we can get lunch!"...She seems awfully confident about this plan.Actions>...Poke holes in the plan.>Yeah, whatever... I guess we can do that.>...Sis... You're fucking retarded.>...Are tacos really that good?>Write-in
>>1508414>>...Poke holes in the plan>...Sis... You're fucking retarded.>...Are tacos really that good?
>>1508414>...Sis... You're fucking retarded.
"...Sis, you're being fucking retar-""It's brilliant! Now, for phase three we need to sneak into the Mexican's palace or whatever and steal their taco's so we can produce them back in Sweden after reverse-enginering it...""Are taco's really that good?""...I just heard about it from Viktor... So yeah!"Roll me a 1d20-3 to try and restore common sense.+2 if you can point out how retarded this is, and how this won't work.+1 if you can remind Renexizia of no diplomatic incidents and how pissed dad would be.
Rolled 2 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1508461(Actually hoping for a 1 so we can see this insanity through)
Rolled 13 - 3 (1d20 - 3)>>1508461
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>1508461"I don't think the Mexican's have a palace and even if they did it's probably too far away to drive to so quickly.Also, I don't think you can reverse engineer food...Plus dad will get angry if we cause problems for him. He might even ground us!"
Well, that's a failure.Renexizia completely ignores you, and leaves to steal a truck...Godamn it.What do?>Try to stop her!>Might as well help her...>Call dad.>Write In
>>1509001>Try to stop her!
>>1509001Just let her do her own thing and leave.
You of course attempt to stop her."Renexizia this is a terrible idea hone-""Maria, stop having a stick up your butt and help! I know your depressed and all but this is so going to rock your socks off... Oh my god that gives me an idea, what if we got a cat and threw it at the border officials after teaching it to hate people in hats?""How are we going to do t-"She snaps her finger."CATNIP AND PSYCHOTHERAPY! ""...Wha-""Then, once we toss it at the border guard's face you can drive!""Why me?""I don't have a permit...""Why don't you just fly to mexico?""Dad said to not cause any diplomatic incidenta. Now can we get lunch?""I'm not driving you.""Oh yes you are..."She gives you an evil look, one suggesting she's not below torture..."...If you don't drive me, I'm telling mom about how you let me drive without a license."Oh shit, she is kind of right, mom would be pisses at you... Well, your adopted mom.Roll me a 1d20-4 to not get involved. One roll please.+1 if you can think how mom wouldn't be pissed.
Rolled 7 - 4 (1d20 - 4)>>1509088
Rolled 2 - 4 (1d20 - 4)>>1509088
7-4=3You get weaseled into this.Meanwhile, back in D&D land...The king has offered to let Cortez become independent and gain a little bit of land, but is refusing to step down...Actions>Accept it! (Cortez becomes independent.)>...Use your charms further for a better deal.>...Try to full-out seduce the king.>...Get your husband down here.>Decline it.>Write-in
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>1509808Shit SHit SHit!
>>1509808>Write-inGo and see if Cortez will accept it.
>>1509857He most likely won't like it, seeing as how he's intending on declaring himself king.
>>1509864Fine then, just look sadly at the king and queen, say we shall return after the omen has came. In hopes they will see reason.Then we need to go and see Ren about burrowing under the city in his dragon form and raising the dead.
Anons want to do that?Keep in mind, this is in D&D land, with murderhobo's everywhere.
>>1509931Hey, they can't link it to us and so long as we burrow under and out outside of anyone's view they won't know what we look like.Then once they have either died to the undead or suffered severely we return, say "I warned you" and get a better deal.
Rolled 18 + 3 (1d20 + 3)You of course, shake your head, look a bit sad, and leave to get your husband...Ignore my roll to see if the king is genre aware.
>>1509808>Accept it! (Cortez becomes independent.)
As you leave and get escorted out, you notice that the guards seem to be putting up parchments of paper absolutely everywhere...It's a...Reward for guarding cemetaries from grave robbers with an... Extremely high pay rate. Twenty gold coins, just for staying out there for a day, and a bonus for mages to sign up for the city guard.Many adventurers in a variety of races look interested as you leave, and you have a feeling you have a bit of a problem.Now, meanwhile as Renexizious...You are currently meeting with your mom to see if she'll let you go see your grandparents. She seems hesitant, and of course talks about how they might be sleeping or might not like you...That sort of thing.Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if your mother will indeed help you get there.+3 if you can make arguments about how your lawful good-aligned grandparents will love you!+2 if you can also break the news to your own mom that your over two-hundred stories... Or alternatively, try to hide it so she'll still think your small and cute.+1 if you can think how your grandparents actually will think of you.
Rolled 16 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1510025
16+3=19Your mother eventually begrudingly tells you she'll take you to see them soon, but that's when Liz knocks on the front gate."Ren?""What? I'm sort of busy...""It's about Cortez. I need you to scare some people..."Elizabeth eventually tells you the plan...However, Solaire seems to dislike it.I see no reason to disrupt the dead, or impede lawful monarchy, Renexizious. Such things bring bad omens!Oh, so NOW you're being moral...I DON'T FUCKING LIKE MAGIC BUT I DO LIKE SCARING MORTALS... LET'S FUCK EM UP A BIT LIKE REAL MEN INSTEAD OF BEING PUSSIES!Actions>Take Khorne's opinion and just terrify the city normally... (Shitload of dragon hunters, but that's it.)>...Burrow beneath the city and summon the dead... (Burrowing at your size COULD actually severely damage the city...)>Fly above and summon the undead. (Attract's a shitload of dragon hunters, etc.)>...Don't do it. (Solaire will like this!)>Argue with Solaire.>Tell Liz she can handle it on her own...>Write-inSolaire will dislike anything that will involve you raising the undead or attacking/sacking the city!
>>1510130>...Don't do it. (Solaire will like this!)
>>1510130>...Burrow beneath the city and summon the dead... (Burrowing at your size COULD actually severely damage the city...)Will we be able to do the mass undead summon at a smaller size?
>>1510159It'll be severely limited.
>>1510227How limited is severely? 50,000? 5,000?
If attack the city or raise the undead, it will be counterintuitive for Cortez who wants to rule the realm instead of having it be in ruins.Attacking the city will also further raise our profile in this realm to the point that that Dragon hunters and possibly other groups such as hunters of the undead will search for us much more. It will probably make maneuvering harder and increase the chances of an attack on say our mom or the Kobold village.
>>1510249Varies. If you went from 200 stories to 100, it'd be halved.
>>1510264Wait so at 100 stories can we tunnel underneath the city without damaging it?Cause you are saying we can raise 250,000 skeletons and shit. Assuming we then surface in one of our smaller forms like Dracotuar or something. We can summon even more and do some magic and shit.
>>1510282I'd say at 50 stories your presence will be undetectable. One-hundred will leave a large cave beneath the city which could disrupt it in the future, and 200... Well, it's a 200 story huge hole in the ground, and likely just getting in there will cause a mini-earthquake.
>>1510308What about 75 stories?
>>1510308A mini earthquake in medieval times won't be as bad as one in a modern city. I say burrowing at 200 and traveling there from a good distance off sounds like a great plan. It could even play on their sense of the supernatural.
75 will damage underground things, such as the sewers, but little or anything else.
I think they can afford start shitting in chamber pots for a while, besides, they will need the construction project to solidify the strength of a new leader. I still say 200.
Alright...I'm rolling here in ten minutes. Keep in mind you'll be rolling for the damage you cause in the 200 form, and it will very likely sway the nobility to surrender.
>>1510497>burrowLet's hope they shit their pants but not their wallets
Also, if anons want to, you can pull the "sneaky jew move" and try to ransack their treasury from below ground at the 200 story form.
>>1510528Op as tempting as that is it won't end well, so no.
>>1510528Lets not be jews and just ruin everything underground at 200
>>1510528Nah, they'll need the money to rebuild the entire city when we critfail
200 it is.You of course, leave to burrow beneath the city...What do anons want to do as the policy of burrowing under it...>Do as much damage as possible... (The city will require quite a bit of repairs and soften the defenses! The rulers will likely surrender, but Cortez might not like this!)>Do as little damage as possible. (Cortez will like this.)
>>1510639>Do as little damage as possible. (Cortez will like this.)
>>1510639>Do as little damage as possible. (Cortez will like this.)we only need a small earthquake.
Roll me a 1d20-2 to see if you can prevent damage to the city...+2 if you can find a way to scare the population, yet not cause damage.+2 if you can have some fun being under the city... You are HUGE after all.+2 if you can find a way to terrify the palace especially...+1 if you can think lustful thoughts about smol Liz.
Rolled 11 - 2 (1d20 - 2)>>1510723
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1510723
>>1510723Give them some demonic laughter coming from beneath the streetsCount the number of screams you hearGive them some extra shakesDo you think.. she can fit... up there?
>>1510723 Bouncing a shortstack Liz on top of us while she plays riding cowgirl with her Colt revolvers and keeps barking orders to "Buck harder like a real steer." I think every one of my fetishes has been achieved here.
>>1510826Finding some new things about you dindutfw anons immediately expressed complete disgust when mine came up
17+5=22You of course, manage to burrow beneath the city, and cause very little damage to it.In fact... It's debatable that your presence is known at all.Actions>Scare the population somehow... (List of options.)>...Maybe you should do some... Underground plundering... There's probably a few banks or a treasury to loot... (Can get you up to 20$ Million... Hurt's Cortez's economy.)>Raise the dead. (...Attracts adventurers like the black plague to a medieval city.)>Pop your head up in the throne room...>Write-in
>>1510826I agree with almost everything there except the femdom>>1510903>Raise the dead. (...Attracts adventurers like the black plague to a medieval city.)
>>1510903>Raise the dead. (...Attracts adventurers like the black plague to a medieval city.)
Anons sure you want to raise the dead? The king has put in counter-measures against it.AKA: Adventurers.
>>1510903>Scare the population somehow... (List of options.)It's best to remain silent right now
>>1510903>Scare the population somehow... (List of options.) I have a few ideas myself.>>1510908 actually it's not femdom I'm into, it's more the idea of a sexually assertive wife. can't stand latex and whips and all that other BS. do not get me started on bondage.
>>1510946You failed to mention she should be in yuan-too form for the western fantasies. Which makes it even better
Rolling in thirteen more minutes anons.>>1510946What's your idea?
>>1510974some fire breath under the water supply/fishing lake.very loud roaring of ominous Latin chants, 'divine commands' and demonic laughter, from all three heads at different times..Producing a sinkhole under the local Inn and killing most of the present adventurers.
>>1511009Solaire will refuse to participate in this anon.
>>1511031Then he can fuck off while flames and us handle it.
>>1511031Get Lorne to do the laughter while we try the divine chanting. We were Pope at one point
Rolled 1 (1d2)Rolling.1=Raise Dead!2=Scare!
You of course, raise the dead.Roll me a 1d20-2 anons.+2 if you can find a way to assist the undead being summoned at the graveyard against the adventurers...+1 if you can find ways to get more comfortable while down here, and scare the population above.+1 for more lustful thoughts regarding the now tiny Liz. (+1 if you can think about how adorable she is...)
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1511078Carve out a nice soft bed and demonically yawnShe has such a cute face! That plus her cute little arms!Make super skeletons
>>1511098You can only make "normal" skeletons and zombies with the pulse, which will get stronger over time. You'll have to actively assist.
>>1511078If we use our magic we can cast Cause Mass Fear, (Enchantment, Ranged).Stretch out a bit and slightly expand the cave system we've made so we can have some space. Maybe carve a fire rune to make some light."I'll have to be more careful now when we are enjoying each other's company, since she is so much smaller and therefore more delicate...my adorable little lady..."Also OP you really need to update our character sheet. I swear we have more spells than that...
Rolled 5 - 2 (1d20 - 2)>>1511078
Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1511119Forgot to roll...
>>1511142Well fuck a duck.
Do anons want to use barbaric?>Yes! (Damages the city!)>No!
>>1511153That's how you get duck STDs anon
>>1511166>Yes! (Damages the city!)>>1511179Don't run from this!
>>1511166>No!I want to see what happens. Like when a dam starts leaking and is about to burst
>>1511195Mate no, this can only end badly.
>>1511207I know but I wanna see what happens when we get a critical failure burrowing undergound and raising thousands of undead
>>1511224Fine but I point out that I made a lovely write in about a coming disaster and this Nat 1 is going to ruin that...
>>1511239Well this is a disaster. Maybe just not for the king though
Rolling in ten minutes. Anons, please decide.
>>1511258Fine, fine.We accept the Nat 1.
Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)Critical Failure.On the surface, you raise the undead...You can't help but hear a few adventurers chatting."So anyways, that's when I said "Fuck nah, I'm getting out of he- Holy shit! The entire graveyard!""Heh, what were you saying?""Aren't you fucking concerned about the hundreds of skeletons around us?!? They're climbing out!""Pffh. Bitch please, I'm a fucking cleric of Pelor, I smite vampires for fucking breakfast, bitch-slap liches for lunch, and get my dick sucked by shitty undead like this all the fucking time.""But ho-""Abra-ca-fuck you."You feel your body weaken even from here, and feel... Most of your undead minions collapse as they get out. You even get blinded briefly!"...I don't get clerics. You just... You just single-handily stopped the undead army!""Told you I get my dick sucked by the undead all the fucking time. Pelor's a cool guy.""...I'm not really religious?""Oh fuck yeah? Really? You wanna go through that? Look at what the fuck just happened. Huge flash of light, giant sparkle bullshit rainbow, you know, the whole goddly bullshit. That's a miracle!""...Really?""...Fuck yeah! I used a miracle scroll! Cost me a fortune... Only usable by clerics too.""...So you just used a scroll?""Yeah, and you aren't telling me that you aren't fucking religious after seeing that shit.""...Well... I mean, you have a point..."Ignore my roll.
Well... It seems one arrogant human cleric has put a stop to your plans of scaring the townsfolk, and from what you hear as he goes into town, gets celebrated. He even manages to convert quite a few people to Pelor, and the King even knights him!You sigh. This of course is going to be more difficult...Of course, not too long after the rest of your undead get slain by the adventurers, you hear the same cleric from earlier walking out to the graveyard."So, anyways, who the fuck caused all these undead to rise up? Probably some powerful guy.""...We got paid. Can we go already?""What the fuck is with you Drow bitches? Always having a stick up your ass and trying so hard to be "cool" and "assassin-""Say that again and I will slit your throat.""Pff. Yeah, right. You wanna piss off Pelor? I have a shitload of Light spells and I will personally make sure you never get sleep again, or at least get a very, very annoying skin condition.""...You are really, really stupid.""Yeah, well fuck you too. Hey, Grognar? Why don't you start digging?""...I don't have a shovel?""Use your axe or something, your a barbarian, right?""Why are we digging anyways?""...Well... I got a theory... You remember that tiny little shake a while ago?""Yeah. What about it?""My money's on Illithids trying to fuck with us or something.""...Do they even know necromancy?""Fuck, I dunno. Anyways, start digging.""...Right. Hold my stuff."You hear the adventurers above starting to dig."...So anyways, why did we hire that kobold thief again?""They don't cost much? Tons in the area?""...Right. Didn't he say his party leader got kidnapped by some dragon called Renexizious?""Yeah... Where is he anyways?""Eh, back with Valkyia or whatever. Same party apparently.""Huh... Man, you know, it'd suck to be kidnapped by a dragon. Thank God I'm not some princess or something.""What if you met a gay dragon or something?""Grognar, shut the fuck up. When was the last time you met one?""When was the last time any of us met one?""...Good point. Now, let's start digging before some fucking gay dragon overhears and decides to fuck with us."Actions>(Shrewd Minded): Let the adventurers dig a bit... Put your mouth up to where they're digging... It's like lunch! But with adventurers.>...Poke your head up out of the dirt. Should give them a good scare... Let you talk a bit... That sort of thing.>Try to hide yourself!>...Scare them off somehow...>...Wait... Valkyia? She's your ex... Shit.>Write-in
>>1511462>Try to hide yourself!Time to skidaddle
>>1511462>(Shrewd Minded): Let the adventurers dig a bit... Put your mouth up to where they're digging... It's like lunch! But with adventurers.
>>1511538I'll switch to this
Roll me a 1d20+4 to nom adventurers.+2 if you can be very pissed that they ruined your plans.+1 if you can chuckle evily without them hearing.+1 if you can try to get more comfy before bon appetite. (+1 if you can slightly wonder why more dragons don't just hide below cities and just eat the population when they don't notice. Surprisingly fun!)+1 if you can qwell the slightly salty Solaire, and his arguments that Frankizka would be very, very disappointed in you.
Rolled 5 + 10 (1d20 + 10)>>1511598"I can only do that every so often and it was going to be cool as shit and they fucking ruined it. Still I suppose I will have my revenge...fuck this is going to be easy why don't I or others do this more often?"Laugh inside our head to Flames and shit.Stretch out a bit, maybe yawn or something."She hates the rich, it's not my fault they aren't listening to reason and surrendering."
Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1511598
12+10=22Eventually they breach, and of course, are startled by the large expanse.Solaire however is still salty, and asks you if you'd really eat a cleric. He even reminds you of Reinhold!"...Looks like somesort of cavern?""Yeah, lots of stalagmites though... Do we have any rope?""...I feel like I've seen this before... Those stalagmites are... Surprisingly sharp and white.""Smells like sulfur too."Ha! The fools think your mouth is a cave!Actions>...Nom. (You may or may not get an adventurer or two.)>...Attempt to draw them closer...>...Don't do anything!>...Breath fire. (Will easily incinerate them, but they'll have time to react and might cast something to resist!)>Try to talk to them?>Write-in
>>1511711>...Nom. (You may or may not get an adventurer or two.)
Rolled 5 (1d5)Ignore my roll.
You manage to eat all the adventurers... Though the cleric does cast "Protection from Acid!" in his descent... Meaning he's unlikely to dissolve from the very, very lethal stomach acids in your stomach.Hm.Actions>Try to take care of the cleric somehow? (Write-in for ideas.)>...Just continue on.>Write-in
>>1511756>Try to take care of the cleric somehow? (Write-in for ideas.)Self induced vomit
>>1511756>Try to take care of the cleric somehow? (Write-in for ideas.)Let's go and take a nice big drink from a lake and drown the bastard.
>>1511768This. I swear, players.
>>1511780>>1511768I'd point out we will need to somehow kill him after doing so where as with my plan it takes care of him quickly.
>>1511790Your plan assumes that he doesn't know how to swim up.
>>1511790He can probably cast a water breathing spell or create a small pocket of air around his head long enough for him to do something
>>1511798My plan assumes that he can't break through the giant muscular ring at the top of our stomach.
>>1511806True but that consumes even more of his time and magical power.
>>1511818But he could still cast a powerful enough spell that could cause internal bleeding or even pull out a scroll.
>>1511834I'd point out we heal quickly but I suppose you are right...I will change my vote to yours...
You of course, decide to do self-induced vomit.God this will suck.Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can have the sufficent will to do this.+2 if you can think why it won't be so bad...+2 if you can find a way to vomit without it being in your "lounge" area, so to speak. You don't want to rest in your own vomit!+1 if you can really, really hate this cleric.
Rolled 3 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1511846What if we think disgusting thoughts like female Skaven? That pretty vomiting worthy.
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1511846>>1511852Ugh! Fucking supporting you sick degenerate.
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)6+6=12You try to throw up, but you just... You can't! God, in this close quarters you'll smell like old shoe or something...Ignore my roll.
Shit, I posted too soon. If anons want to do another roll/do bonuses please do so.
Just continuing then.9+3=12The cleric inside of you erm... Well, you hear him say "OH SHIT WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!" Very loudly, especially after you heard him cast "Daylight".Also, he's trying to save his friends from melting... Though it's a little hard, seeing as how potent your stomach is... How noble.Actions>(Shrewd Mind) Attempt to psychologically attack him... Maybe you can get him so depressed/despaired/convince him it's hopeless to escape.>Just ignore him and continue on... (Bad idea.)>...That's it, go find something to snack on that would kill him.>Write-in
>>1512019>(Shrewd Mind) Attempt to psychologically attack him... Maybe you can get him so depressed/despaired/convince him it's hopeless to escape."My scales are thicker than your chest and that isn't even mentioning my muscles. You would die before you could escape and you will thus join your friends soon.I would suggest ending yourself quickly to avoid a painful death..."
>>1512019>we're a red dragon>Red Dragons are really hot and like hot stuff>Lava is really hot>Lava can kill this prick in our stomachYay or nay, does this sound like a feasible plan
>>1512064>drinking lava...Your insides are not made for resisting hot shit anon. This is a bad idea.
>>1512079I just thought it feasible since we're now a red dragon. Just do shrewd mind.
Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you can indeed injure him psychologically.+3 if you can boast about how delicious his friends are as they dissolve! (+1 if you can bluff about moving onto the "main dish", which would be the city. +1 if you can lie and put the blame on him!)+2 if you can introduce yourself, and of course, terrify him with how powerful and YUGE you are.+1 if you can mention how traumitizing it would be, living in your stomach... Imagine all the noises he'd have to hear, or worse! (+1 if you can traumatize him with your highly lustful nature.)Also, if anons want, you can ask him how Valkyia's doing. (I think that was her name.)
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1512116It is indeed Valkyia.
Rolled 16 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1512116
Eh. Right now anons will moderately traumitize him. Do you guys want me to continue or do you want to do a bonus?
>>1512371"HA! Such sweet tasting flesh your fellows had, if only you hadn't told them to dig into my mouth, eh? Still it would only have resulted in their deaths being delayed until I tackle the main course as it is, the city above.I am Renexizious, I know you have heard of me. I am a 200 storey tall dragon who has wiped out cities in past, partly as a way of relaxing. I usually just roll over a few times and the city is dead but this time I thought I'd do something fun."Done some bonuses, equalling a further + 7.