In the year 1986, crime in America is at an all-time high. Criminals, drugs, and guns flow into the country from everywhere in the world, and the gateway to it all is the coastal paradise, Heat City. On the neon-soaked streets of this beating heart of scum and villany, you can get whatever you want -- if you can pay the price.You are Johnny the thug, and ever since you agreed to take one small job for the Bratva, your life has gone sideways. One thing led to another as you made enemies of one half of the city's underworld, and then the other half. With the help of some new friends -- Alex the enforcer, Nick the thief, and the Yamada family -- you went all-in and led a daring heist on the Triad's skyscraper fortress, Dragon's Nest. It went great until you were shot and fell off the roof, twenty-five stories down.With luck or fate on your side, and the help of your friends, you survived to tell the tale. But you haven't forgotten that someone out there has been playing games with you, pitting the city's criminal syndicates against each other with you caught in the middle. You're going to find out who it is, and make them pay.
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>>1483167The past few months have been a stressful time. Just off the top of your head, you stole a helicopter, fell off a skyscraper, get shot and stabbed too many times to count, crashed a sports car into a truck at high speed, stole twenty million dollars from the Triads, and pissed off every major crime organization in the city.Not only that, but you somehow found time to gather multiple women in your life who've been giving you heart attacks. Alex, the cool-headed professional; Roxie, the intense, drug-addicted fighter; Catherine, the high-class criminal operator; the happy-go-lucky murder twins; and now this Yakuza girl who seems to be some mixture of stage magician, assassin, seductress, and mad bomber.They're all great, but none of them are easy to handle, by any stretch of the imagination. With all that, you thought, it would be great to get all the guys together, and just hang out and do guy stuff for a night. Have some beers, grill some burgers, maybe watch the game. Just hang out like normal fellas, no stress involved.
>>1483269"That's the idea, anyway," you say to Alex after explaining this to her. Leaving out the part about the women and heart attacks, of course.The two of you are sitting on the bench out front of your home, the once-great manor. You're each having a cold beer in the warmth of the midday sun, watching the high rises of the city center shimmer in the heat waves."So is this some kind of "no girls allowed" type of thing?" Alex asks. You try to think about how to answer, but the look on your face is enough to confirm it for her, and she laughs. "Holy shit, it is. All right, fine. What did you want from me, then?""I was going to ask you the favor of watching our captured Yakuza girl for another night. But then I had another idea. I was trying to figure out how to make sure the other women don't accidentally stumble in on us, without hurting their feelings. Maybe you could get them together for a night on the town? Take them out to whatever it is girls do on a girls night--""Johnny," she interrupts. "Be real for a moment. Do you think I'm the type of person who has a "girls' night"?""Well--""I'll look after your prisoner, as a favor to you, and because it's relevant to the investigation. But I'm not also going to babysit the freak show AND the rich girl AND the murder twins. I'm not the mom of this little family of weirdos you're accumulating.""I mean, you say that, but ..."Alex groans. "Oh god, you're right. I am the mom. What has my life turned into? It's all gone so wrong. I should go back to bounties." She points a finger at you. "It's still not happening, tough guy. Maybe some other time when I can stand to be in the same room as them. For now you'll have to figure out some other way of protecing your clubhouse.""You'll at least take Akane off my hands for tonight?"She sighs. "Yeah.""Thanks. I owe you one.""Just one?" she asks with a wry smile."One more, then. I lost track along the way somewhere." You take a drink of cold beer, thinking it over. "It's been a real ride. It started right about the time I met you.""Yeah, you're right," she says. "Things turned crazy when we started that job from the Russians. We shot up a tenament for some drug money, got ambushed at our motel, ended up on the run from crooked cops. That's one way to get introduced to someone, I suppose. At least you learn what someone's made of real fast."
>>1483300(Flashback Soundtrack: Hotline Miami -- Paris)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2iAShUxgfs
>>1483308"You put up such a tough-girl front," you say, laughing at the memory. "And you clearly didn't think highly of me on first impression. "Don't fuck up, and we'll get along fine,"" you quote, trying to imitate her voice.She looks away, smiling despite herself. "I didn't expect much from you when you first walked into that parking lot. A lot of muscles and scars and not much else, I thought. You proved me wrong." She takes a drink of beer, then looks at you with a thoughtful gaze. "What about you? What did you think of me back then?">Cool as hell.>Scary as fuck.>A stuck-up bitch.>I could already tell you were secretly a softie.>Write-in
>>1483323>Scary as fuck.Deny her being cool, though.
>>1483323>Cool as hell.
>>1483323>>Cool as hell. Like one of those femme-fatales except well, more grounded.
>>1483323>>Cool as hell.
>>1483323>>Cool as hell.>>Scary as fuck.
>>1483323>>Scary as fuck.
>>1483323"I thought you were cool as hell," you say. "Scary, too, so I was glad you were on my side. You had the shades, the gun, the attitude. What a badass. I felt like nothing short of an earthquake or a meteor could faze you. And even then, who knows?"Alex punches you in the shoulder. "Get out." She still can't stop herself from smiling, though. She looks really cute when you manage to break through that tough exterior."I'm serious," you say. "You're hardcore. I don't even mean like "for a woman" or whatever. I went to Vietnam, and I've rolled with some tough crowds, but you're pretty high on my All-Time Badasses list. I mean, do you remember shooting our way out of that motel when we got ambushed? Getting in a car chase gunfight? I was freaking out, but you stayed cool the whole time. We barely knew each other but we pulled it off, no problem.""Sometimes it feels like we're no closer to figuring out what happened since then," Alex says. "We said we'd figure it out. Instead we got mixed up in all this other stuff with the Yamadas, and the Triads, while the Russians are running around unchecked.""Once my leg is better, I plan on paying them a visit," you say. "You still smoking?"Alex produces a pack from her shirt pocket. "Guilty.""Think I can bum one?" you say. "I've got a pack in the house, but you know." You tap your leg cast.Alex rolls her eyes. But she takes two cigarettes out of the pack anyway. She puts them both between her lips, flicks on a lighter, and lights them both. Then she takes one out, turns it around, and hands it to you."Thanks," you say, putting the cigarette to your lips. There's a taste on it that might be hers.
>>1483528For a while, you and Alex just smoke and look up at the blue sky together. After a few quiet minutes, when your cigarettes have burned down to ash, you stub yours out in the ashtray and get to your feet. "I'll go fetch Akane for you."In the guest room you've converted into a holding cell, the Yakuza woman is as quiet and watchful as she's always been since your little interrogation session. Wary of everything. You get the feeling she's memorizing everything she can, searching for some weakness. "Get up," you tell her, not having any patience for schemes at the moment. "I've got a social engagement tonight, and I don't want you poisoning the drinks. So your friend Alex is taking care of you tonight."Akane rises gracefully to her feet in one smooth movement. She glares at you, still mustering a certain dignity despite her bruised skin and torn clothes. "You can't keep me here forever.">If I have to, I will.>Just until I kill your boss, Kojiro.>Ken's offer still stands. You could join our team.>Maybe I'll just kill you now, how about that?>Write-in.
>>1483548>>Just until I kill your boss, Kojiro.>>Ken's offer still stands. You could join our team.Now that' Ryuji's fine, I don't really care about you. This is more of a precautionary measure than anything. Plus, I think Ken likes having you around.
>>1483548>Just until I kill your boss, Kojiro.>Ken's offer still stands. You could join our team.
>>1483528>If I have to, I will.
>>1483548>Ken's offer still stands. You could join our team.
>>1483548"If I have to, I will," you say, giving her a push in the direction of the front door. "Go on, and play nice. I don't want to have to tie you up again."She glares at you, but starts walking.You follow her. "Really, this is just until I kill your boss, Kojiro.""You'll need more than luck to do that. He is a true warrior, one of few left in this age.""We'll find out, won't we? Anyway, I don't want you telling him what you know about us. But now that Ryuji's safe, I don't really care about you."Thinking about how Ken acted towards her, you wonder if he was telling the truth about just seeing her as someone who needed help. "Plus, Ken seems to like having you around. His offer still stands, you know. Our little crew has a spot for a chemist. You could join us.""What do you even care?" she asks. "You're not part of the family, you have no ties to the Yakuza. What makes you so invested in helping them?">Someone has to.>I like them.>They're useful.>I helped rob the Dragon's Nest.>I'm involved now whether I like it or not.>Write-in
>>1483618>>I like them.Ken, Ryuji, and Cat have done more than enough for me to justify having their backs.
>>1483618>I like them.>As dumb a reason that is, that's all I need to stick by them.
>>1483618>Someone has to.Although it's really>I like them.
>>1483618>I like them.
>>1483618"I like them," you say. "They've stuck by me, so I'm sticking by them. Someone has to help them, so I guess it's me. That's all there is to it.""You realize that's a really dumb reason to put your life on the line?" Akane asks, glancing back at you. "Not for money or power or love, but just because you like someone?""Maybe so," you admit. "But it's all the reason I need."Akane mutters something inaudible.Something else occurs to you. "Anyway, who are you to talk? You could have sold Kojiro out to us and made things easier for yourself, but instead you attacked Ken, and keep dodging questions about the Yakuza. Isn't that dumb reason to put your life on the line too?""That's different," she insists. "That's ..." She trails off, and doesn't say anything else on the way to the front yard."Hello again, Akane," Alex says as the two of you approach her. "I'm sure you're as thrilled to be spending more time with me as I am."Akane says something in Japanese that's probably rude."I thought so," says Alex. She opens the passenger door to her car and shoves Akane inside. "Get in there, bitch." Shutting the door, she points at you. "Remember, you owe me for this.""I'll do something nice for you, I promise," you say.
>>1483756As Alex walks around her car to the other side, another car pulls into the driveway. Ryuji gets out, and he and Alex stop to say hello to each other."Any luck finding a new place to live?" Alex asks Ryuji. "I can't imagine spending long in the same house as that guy over there. I would imagine his snores wake up the whole house.""I'm used to it at this point," Ryuji says. "Ken and I are still looking. The Triads still have some control over the city's real estate market, which makes it difficult. We could rent a -- what is the word? -- a shithole somewhere, but despite my uncle's protests, he's old, and I need to protect his health.""If I think of anything that can help, I'll let you know. For now I'd better get out of here before I interfere with your little boys club tonight. Say hi to your uncle for me, will you?""I will," he says. "See you later."As Alex drives off, Ryuji approaches you. "Good day, Johnny. I brought what you requested."You asked Ryuji to bring the:>Food>Drinks>EntertainmentAnd told him to>Play it safe>Follow his heart >Go wild
>>1483803I'll support this.
>>1483785>Food>Follow his heartJust let Ryuji be as Ryuji does.
>>1483785>Food>Follow his heart >Go wild
>>1483803Fuck. Yes. Thug. Quest. Thirding this. I have missed this quest. Don't get me wrong Raven, Overwatch is pretty cool. This one though...way more my style.
>>1483872Switching to>Follow his heart
>>1483785>>Follow his heart>>Food
>>1483785Holy shit, you're still alive.Just where in the hell have you been, man?Also>Food>Follow his heart
>>1483927He's been running OverWatch Quest and started up Nightmare Planet. It's been busy for him it seems.
>>1483935Clearly he just had to build up his creative mojo for his real baby, this here quest.
>>1483785"What did you get?" you ask him. "Remember, I didn't want you to play it safe, I wanted the real deal Ryuji's favorite food extravaganza bonanza.""I have no idea what that any of that means," he says. "But I went to a place I know of. Japanese cuisine. The chef's father is also a sushi chef, quite famous back in Japan, and I believe some of his skill has been passed down." Ryuji opens the back door of his car, revealing several boxes worth of sushi, as well as some bags from the nearby grocery store. "I also got hot dogs and hamburgers.""Sounds fucking fantastic," you say. "Hold on, I'll get some help to carry all this in. Girls!" you bellow.A minute or so later, the twins emerge -- not from the front door of the house, but crawling out from underneath a nearby hedge, dirt-stained and muddy, with sticks in their hair. They salute. "Yeah boss?" "What the fuck do you want?""Help us carry the food inside, please," you say. "You can have some as snacks. Only a little, though. And remember, you have to clear out of here tonight.""We don't want to be here for your stupid party anyway," one (Adeline?) says."Why do you eat this stuff?" the other (Madison?) says, picking up a box of sushi. "You know you're supposed to cook fish, right?""Just put it in the fridge, all right?"They grumble but do it.Ryuji and you each grab a bag yourselves and go inside. "Thanks for bringing all this," you tell him. "I can't wait to try all this Japanese food alongside some cheeseburgers. Truly a meeting of international culture." "I am looking forward to tonight," he says."I'm glad you can enjoy it with us," you say. "Your English has improved a lot, which helps. Sorry I haven't done so great on the Japanese myself. We've come a long way since the early days, huh? When we did our first job together, we couldn't even talk to each other.""I think we both understood each other," Ryuji says. "Everyone speaks the language of violence."
>>1484013(Flashback Soundtrack: Hotline Miami -- Hotline)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jM8n3uKe4I
>>1484028"Then we stole a helicopter, and shot down the police helicopter chasing after us, and it crashed into the water ... good times.""It has been quite a journey," Ryuji admits. "I've both gained and lost much since I came to America." Without thinking about it, he raises a hand to touch his eyepatch. >I'm sorry about your eye.>I'm sorry about your father.>You're rich now, so there's that.>You're part of a badass heist crew now, so there's that.>Do you regret leaving Japan?>I hope America keeps growing on you.>Write-in.
>>1484013Ain't that the truth, once we had that dustup on the docks...I knew we'd be pals.
>>1484056>>I'm sorry about your eye.>You're part of a badass heist crew now, so there's that.>I hope America keeps growing on you.BROS FOR LIFE
>>1484056>I'm sorry about your eye.>I hope America keeps growing on you.
>>1484056>>I'm sorry about your eye.>You're part of a badass heist crew now, so there's that.>Write-in "Plus, you have friends like me and Alex. Real friends have each others backs."
>>1484056>I'm sorry about your eye>Do you regret leaving Japan?>I hope America keeps growing on you.
>>1484056>I'm sorry about your eye.>Do you regret leaving Japan?>I hope America keeps growing on you.>Wouldn't mind seeing where you guys came from. Expand my cultural horizons and all, you know.
>>1484155For sure, If we hadn't almost died for the 19th time, we'd have Conan'd that place with Ken right there with us. Bros for life indeed.
>>1484056"I'm sorry about your eye," you say. "I would have come after you straight after getting Catherine out of the hands of those goons. Except that I almost died for like the 19th time, and I didn't wake up for two or three days afterwards. I still feel fucked up about ditching you with that fat son of a bitch with the club, even if it's what you wanted. ""Catherine might be dead if it weren't for you," he says. "It is a sacrifice I accept.""Dammit, man. You're too good for this world. Seriously. You deserve better. You're part of a badass heist crew now, so there's that. Plus, you have friends like me and Alex. Real friends have each others backs."He nods slowly. "Thank you, Johnny. It has been difficult, sometimes, since I came here. I have had only my uncle to rely on.""Do you ever miss it?" you ask him. "Your home country, I mean. Japan.""Sometimes. I miss the parks in Tokyo. The small ramen shops, open after midnight. I miss knowing all the rituals of conversation. But America and Heat City have their own strange and intense charms."He didn't mention any friends or girlfriend left behind, which you're tactful enough not to bring up. He might just be the sort of guy who doesn't make friends on his own."Well, I hope the place keeps growing on you. It's a big, weird, loud place, but you never run out of things to see or do. I've lived here my whole life and I haven't even scratched the surface. All kinds of crazy people live here. It's a place that can become home to anyone. Maybe you too.""Perhaps."
>>1484224Some time later, you and Ryuji are smoking in the backyard watching the fish in your pond, while you tell him the story about finding the juvenile alligator. "The twins seemed to like it, so I let it stick around. I named him Mister Scrufflybumpkins. Little guy is probably somewhere around here now.""I see," says Ryuji.You hear the scrape of tires as a car pulls into your driveway, followed by a series of sharp honks from a car horn. "I wonder who that could be," you say to Ryuji as the two of you walk to the driveway."Hey hey!" Nick says, waving. He bangs on the hood of a silver car covered in ostentatious upgrades. "New wheels! What do you think?""It's very shiny," you say. "Did you get the stuff?"Against your better judgement, you asked Nick to bring the:>Drinks>EntertainmentAnd told him to:>Play it safe>Follow his heart >Go wild
>>1484224>Entertainment>Go wildThis can only go well.
>>1484261>>Drinks>Play it safeKnowing Nick, he'd probably get some nasty-ass South American shit or some fruity margarita
>>1484261>EntertainmentWith a special request of cards and chips for poker night.>Follow his heart
>>1484261>Entertainment>Follow his heart Time to see what Nick is made of!
>>1484261"I was hoping you'd figure out something to do for entertainment tonight," you continue on."Entertainment?" he says. "Are you kidding? The big fight is on tonight, baby! The champ against the kid! Madeline Square! Twenty thousand people in attendance, broadcast all over the nation! I got ten grand on that hotshot kid to take it, and by all the fates he fucking better!""Oh yeah, I heard about that." You haven't really followed legitimate boxing for a few years, but there's some kind of big championship match tonight that's been building up for months. "Fighting with all those rules isn't normally my style. But we can check it out. Did you bring any cards or chips or something if we want to play poker?""Johnny," he says. "Please." He opens the glove box of his car and takes out four packs of cards. "I'm always ready to play poker.""Cool, might as well bring those in. Leave the cheater packs behind, though."Nick sighs and drops two of them back into the car. "All right, fine. Let's get inside so I can set things up. You've got pay-per-view out here in your swamp mansion, right?""I guess we'll find out. You really bet ten grand on a boxing match, huh?" you ask him as you walk into your house. "Then again, I've never known you to take the easy road. Hell, the only reason you're part of the crew is because you wanted a cut of that take from the tenament job so bad you stuck around, even though the smart thing would've been to get out of Heat City.""Don't remind me. Somehow I ended up on a crew with the guy who punched me in the face and left me tied up on a boat all day in the sun.""Hah, yeah. Sorry about that, I guess. Things went pretty good the next time, though, right?"
>>1484434>"I'm always ready to play poker."Another reason for Nick being a stand up guy.
>>1484434(Flashback Soundtrack: Hotline Miami - Future Club)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7uDB0mOwpA
>>1484434Wait a mo...Who'd you take the bet with, Nick? Just want to make sure you didn't go for the Russian's guy.
>>1484451"If getting shot, then being attacked by a dozen gimps with whips and chains, then pissing off the entire Yakuza by killing their boss, is your idea of "pretty good" then okay, whatever you say, Johnny.""Any one you walk away from, right?" you say. "Who did you take that bet with, by the way?""A phone bookie up north," he says. "Why?""Just making sure it's not the Russians."Nick laughs. "No, those guys know who I am by now. I've been poking my nose around their businesses for weeks, with that red-haired freakazoid Roxie in tow. Definitely burned down my reputation with them.">I'm glad you're part of the crew, even if we had a rocky start.>I'm glad I didn't kill you. You turned out to be useful.>Planning to stick around and help us out for a while?>Planning to take off west any time soon?>Maybe slow down with the gambling.>If gambling makes you happy, then go for it.>Write-in.
>>1484537>>I'm glad you're part of the crew, even if we had a rocky start.>Planning to take off west any time soon?
>>1484537>>I'm glad you're part of the crew, even if we had a rocky start.He grew on us, like a chia pet.
>>1484537>>Planning to stick around and help us out for a while?>I'm glad you're part of the crew, even if we had a rocky start.
>>1484537>I'm glad you're part of the crew, even if we had a rocky start.>Planning to take off west any time soon?>If gambling makes you happy, then go for it.
>>1484537>>I'm glad you're part of the crew, even if we had a rocky start.>Planning to stick around and help us out for a while?I've got an idea for another heist. One involving some casino fuckery against a Russian cruse ship. International waters means the money they get from gambling doesn't count as money they've earned, so it's off the records as well.
>>1484578...Is this a reference to something, anon?
>>1484588Dave Barry novel. Tricky Business. Read it when I was a bit too young.
>>1484614I've been including some Carl Hiaasen references in previous threads here as well, too.
>>1484537"Sorry about that whole punching you in the face thing," you say. "I'm glad you're part of the crew now. Even if we had a rocky start.""Heh, you never would've made it into that big fucking safe in the Triad tower without me, so you bet you are.""You know what I mean, you little weasel. What're your plans with all that money? Head out west? Gamble it all away? I guess if it makes you happy, then go for it.""I don't really know, man. I've had money before, but not like this.""Well, I hope you stick around. You've grown on me. Like a chia pet." Or mold, you think, but don't add.Ryuji joins the two of you in the house. "Good afternoon, Nick.""Ryuji! Have I got a show for you tonight!" Nick throws one arm around Ryuji's shoulder and uses the other to indicate an imaginary scene in front of them. "Imagine twenty thousand people, all jammed together in one stadium, to watch that most glorious of American contests: championship boxing!""We have that in Japan, too, but okay.""Not like this you don't," says Nick. "You'll see what I mean."The twins reappear. "We're finished," says one. "Mffrhgmrff," adds the second, her mouth stuffed full of sushi."Great, thanks. Can one of you help Nick here set something up with the television? You kids understand all those wires better than me.""Got it," says Madison (?) and heads into the living room with Nick."And don't hurt him," you call after her. "I want him to have the same amount of blood in his body as before."The doorbell rings. "Addy, can you--?" you ask, gesturing in the direction of the front door."Fiiine." She runs off towards the front hall, and you hear the door open. "It's a weird gross-looking guy!" she shouts back. "He has glasses!"Right, you remind yourself as you limp in that direction. That's why you don't let the girls answer the door.
>>1484630Marvin -- that is, Zero Crash -- is at your front door, awkwardly shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "H-hi," he says. "Th-this is where you live now, huh? Pretty cool." He gestures at an idling taxi, and at a peeved-looking cab driver unloading several cases of beer and liquor. "I b-brought drinks, like you said. I didn't know what to get so I just got a lot of different things.""Good call, pal. I was a little worried you'd show up with a dozen cases of Corona." You look over the growing stack of alcoholic beverages on your driveway. "I don't even recognize half of these, but now seems like a good time to experiment. Adeline, help me get this shit inside, will you? Then you and Madison can take off to whatever it is you have planned.""I'm Madison," the girl says as she picks up a case of beer bottles. "She's Adeline."You look at her skeptically, wondering if she's bullshitting you, but you can't even tell. Dammit."So, Zero," you say, picking up three cases. "Looking forward to your first real party?"He laughs nervously. "Hah hah hah whaaaat? This isn't my first party, come onnn ...""You told me before, remember? Inside. You told me a lot of stuff there, like how you'd never been to a party.""That's true, but I mean, you don't know what else I've got going on, right? I could be going to, uh, you know, the freshest clubs--""Zero, it's fine. Just come inside, try to relax, and have a good time.">Have you met everyone?>Did you bring anything else?>How's your girlfriend doing with that DoD stuff?>Which of these drinks do you want to try first?>Nick has a boxing match planned, what do you think?>Write-in
>>1484691>>Have you met everyone?>How's your girlfriend doing with that DoD stuff?
>>1484691>Have you met everyone?>How's your girlfriend doing with that DoD stuff?>Nick has a boxing match planned, what do you think?
>>1484691>How's your girlfriend doing with that DoD stuff?Mandatory ask>Nick has a boxing match planned, what do you think?
>>1484691>>How's your girlfriend doing with that DoD stuff?>Have you met everyone?
>>1484691>How's your girlfriend doing with that DoD stuff?>Sorry, I meant rival, of course.>Nick has a boxing match planned, what do you think?>That and poker, if you'd prefer.
"How are things with the girlfriend -- sorry, I mean, the rival?""Slow going," he says. "We're still trying to find a way to get her out from under this DoD thing. It's not like the good old days when you could just disappear and set up under a new name somewhere else. Everyone is starting to be tracked, Johnny, and it's only going to get worse. You'll see.""Sorry to hear that," you say. "I'm not sure what I can do to help, you two are basically wizards to me. But if you think of anything, let me know."Madison (maybe?) shoves past you with another case of liquor. "Watch it, numbnuts.""Do you know everyone?" you ask Zero."Who are the ..." his voice lowers to an urgent whisper. "The teenagers?""The twins are helping me out while my leg is busted. They're friends of Catherine. You know, the woman who set things up for us. Think of them as feral cats. If you're polite to them and don't touch them, they won't hurt you. Probably.""Noted," Zero says, keeping a wary eye on the girls."Nick you already know," you say."Heya, pal," says Nick. "How's things? Ready to watch the big match tonight?""The match?""Yeah, you know. Boxing?"Zero ponders. "Physical struggle ... a contest of endurance and training technique. Interesting. I will watch.""It ain't about that fancy stuff, Zero," you say. "It's about who can get hit and keep fighting. Anyway, you know Ryuji and Ken from the job, even if I think you never met in person. Now's a good time."You introduce Ryuji and Zero to each other. "Ah, yes," Ryuji says. "You were the one controlling the security that night, keeping the cameras and phones shut off. Our task was much easier thanks to you.""I mean, it was easier until I screwed up," Zero says. "I don't know how they got a line to the outside to call for reinforcements, but they did, and that was on me.""I had a thought about that, actually," says Ryuji. "Two of the Five Elements turned out to be present, yes? My sister says they're known for having sophisticated technology, prototypes that never made it into production for the army. Perhaps they had some form of high-grade communication system they use to speak to each other over a distance? A portable satellite phone, or something similar."Zero looks at him dumbfounded for a moment, then slaps himself in the forehead. "Of course! They must have a satphone or something. I don't know why I didn't think of that. Nothing I could have done about that short of taking down half the array, which would've brought down way too much heat to be worth it.""I told you not to beat yourself up over it," you say.
(Flashback Soundtrack: Metal Gear Solid 2 - Tanker)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpsdtJQ_2eU
"It was pretty surreal watching that all go down on the security systems," Zero says. "Saw you take a blade to those security goons. You're a real professional, Ryuji.""Thank you, Zero.""It's too bad you guys left that woman in the swimming pool alone. I mean, I can see why you did it, but later on ..." They both look at you.You shrug. 'Yeah, so I fell off a building cause a woman shot me in the chest. So what? I'm here, right?"They both look at each other again, and laugh. Zero says, "Yeah, despite all known laws of physics, you're alive. I've heard it was possible for human beings to survive that kind of fall, but I'd never believed it until now.""If anyone could do it, it would be Johnny," says Ryuji."I know, right?"Nick is trying to get the pay-per-view system sorted on your television. The multiple remotes have him confused. "But if this one says Input, then -- then why does this one -- argh!"Zero plucks the remotes out of his hands. "Give me a moment, will you?" He fiddles with them for a minute until the screen starts to freak out."Did you just break my TV?" you ask him."I made it better," he says. "It's in debug mode now, it thinks you work for the cable company. So you can get anything for free, including the pay-per-view stuff.""Didn't you go to prison for this sort of thing?" you ask him warily."If you think I'm going to let the man keep me down, and stop me from giving my friends free cable, then think again."Ken emerges from his guest room, yawning after a nap. His arm is healing, although he's still wearing a sling. "Good afternoon, everyone. Or is it evening? Have I missed the start of the festivities?""You're right on time," you say.
Ironically, that's where I need to break for the night.Make sure to tune in tomorrow for the second half of bro night. Same Thug Time, same Thug Channel. Thanks for playing, anons and anonettes.
>>1484861Kens the best.
>>1484875Thanks for running, b0ss.
>>1484875>anonettesKek, women.Thanks for running, man.
>>1484875Thanks a million!
>>1484875Thanks for running Rayray.
>>1484875Night, Bossman.Try to come back at least once in a while so that we know you're okay, man.
just fmi, does raven now have a set rotation for his quests?
>>1485490Thug Quest > Nightmare Planet > OWQ
I'm heading out to a RL BBQ tonight. When I get home, I'll resume the QST BBQ. Let's say about 4 hours from this post. Tune in then, anons.>>1485490>>1485937It may change later, but yeah, that's the current lineup.
>>1487451Have fun Raven.
>>1487451We going to shoot off guns with our pals once it's late at night and the tracers are nice and visible?
>>1488470Well yeah, but we gotta get piss drunk and drink absinthe firstMakes it more colorful
>>1484861The twins have scampered off. Alex has taken Akane off your hands. Roxie is out on the town doing whatever it is she does. You're about as safe as it's going to get.It's time to party. Soundtrack: Kool & The Gang: Celebrationhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GwjfUFyY6MTo be specific, it's time to eat! Your stomach is growling, and you aren't going to let a bite of this fine Japanese cuisine go to waste. The grilling can come later -- Ken tells you that freshness is an essential part of the flavor. "Ryuji told you this was all done by the son of a famous chef in Japan? I had the privilege of eating at the father's establishment once. I look forward to tasting the art of his son.""How come you haven't been to the one here?" you ask."I understand he only recently set up shop. Japanese cuisine is still new in America, although I have the feeling it will catch on soon."Your big kitchen table and the extra one you brought out are soon both full of so many types of seafood and rice you lose track of which is shrimp and which is sea urchin. Every color of fish and crustacean you've ever heard of, and some that you haven't. There's also soup, fresh and pickled vegetables, weird-looking things you can't even identify, and of course the international sampling gallery of beer brought by Zero.Ryuji and Ken eat gracefully with chopsticks. You and Nick don't even try to mess around with those things, you just use forks or grab things with your hands. As for Zero, he's attempting to use chopsticks, but --"Ow!" Zero winces after flicking a grain of rice into his eye for the second time. He abandons the chopsticks and picks up a fork. "You know, I'm a big fan of Japan, but I never understood these things.""Is that so?" Ken asks politely. "How are you familiar with it?""Oh, I watch all the cartoons," Zero says. "Catsuit Crisis, Big Puncher Robot, Quasar Kicker, I Married My Spaceship. You know. The important ones to really understand the culture.">Anime doesn't count as Japanese culture.>Anime counts.>I like that show Zaltron.>You'll have to excuse Zero, he doesn't get out much.>What American shows do they watch in Japan, Ken?>Write-in
>>1488930>>You'll have to excuse Zero, he doesn't get out much.>>What American shows do they watch in Japan, Ken?
>>1488930>>Anime doesn't count as Japanese culture.>I like that show Zaltron, though.>You'll have to excuse Zero, he doesn't get out much.>What American shows do they watch in Japan, Ken?ALL THE OPTIONS
Does this quest have waifus?
>>1488950Hell yeah it doesBut that takes a backseat to crime, though
>>1488930>>Write-inThose cartoons are only one small and sometimes warped lense to look through. Might as well take a trip there some time with your cut from the heist.
>>1488950Yes, one. Her name is Alex.
>>1488954>One>implyingAll three are great, but Roxie and Alex are both the major contenders
>>1488960Comparing a Z head to Alex. Uh...
>>1488930>Anime counts.>You'll have to excuse Zero, he doesn't get out much.>What American shows do they watch in Japan, Ken?
>>1488969Holy shit anon, did you miss the threads where she broke us out of Z lab jail and where she came over to the house and we just hung out?
>>1488960>RoxieYou've seemed to have misspelled Catherine, there.
>>1488981I know what I said.
>>1488979Did you miss literally every thread where Alex has had our back? and also, Alex also saved our bacon in the Z lab too.
>>1488986I am aware, and I'm torn between the two. I'm just defending the second, equally awesome, waifu.
>>1488990Okay...I'm not even gonna try.
Why be torn when you can join the right side?Catherine is inevitable. Resistance is futile
True waifu coming through.
>>1489003Nah, too elegant for usgr8 waifu, just not for Johnny
>>1488984All right, then. Guess I'll just slide on back in this corner here, where all the rich people, good booze, Colombian nose-candy, and women in tight cocktail dresses are. Hope you enjoy your time with the poors, ah-hahaha. (Goes back to being rich again)
>>1488930"Sorry, Zero, anime doesn't count as Japanese culture. They're just one warped lens to see it all through." You chomp down on a bite of shrimp and rice. Delicious. "I do like that show Zaltron, though."Zero nods wisely. "An interesting take on the now-classic "super robot" genre. I especially enjoy the interplay between characters, and the tension between the Red and Blue pilots over leadership of the team--""Really? I just like the robot fights." You turn to Ken. "You'll have to excuse Zero, he doesn't get out much. What about back in Japan? What sort of American shows do they watch there?"Ken says, "As I understand it, that show about lifeguards is becoming quite popular. Not just in Japan, but the world over.""You mean the one with the girls in bathing suits running in slow motion?""That's the one."After a few more bites of sushi, you turn back to Zero and say, "Anyway, maybe we can take a trip to Japan sometime. We can check out the real thing. I'd love to see it myself.""You mean like a job? Steal a famous katana or something?""I was thinking more like a regular tourist trip. Walk around with cameras and hawaiian shirts, the usual deal. I think our little gang here needs more practice before we take on an international heist."In all too short a time, the sushi platters are empty. The soup canisters hold only a little broth. Belts are loosened, some discreetly, others less so."Ah-h-h," groans Nick. "That was some good shit. But we can't stop now.""You're right," you say. "That was only the appetizer. It's time for the heart of every American party: the grill."
>>1489018>implying being rich is enoughCat is pretty and has a nice personality too, jeez.I just personally don't think she's right for Johnny
>>1489034Soon the group is out under the early evening sky, the air filling with the smell and sizzle of ground beef and steak. Ryuji shows Zero the training area he uses to practice his katana work, while Ken and Nick discuss the finer points of their favorite liquors, debating which drink deserves the honor of starting off the after-dinner drinking later.You, of course, are working the grill. One of the first things you did after you got all that money from the heist was go out with the twins to buy a barbecue. But not just any barbecue. The kind you'd always dreamed about having, with so many dials and switches it looks like the cockpit of an airplane. Now it's here, and you love it.There's just one problem. You don't really know how it works. The first thing you did was throw away the instructions, just like a man is supposed to do. But you're maybe starting to regret that a little.The meat isn't cooking as fast as you'd like.>Turn all the dials up.>Turn some dials up and others down.>Just leave it alone.
>>1489086>>Turn some dials up and others down.
>>1489086>>Turn some dials up and others down.We're smart enough to figure out which ones increase the amount of propane coming through, and which ones will blow up the grill, right?
>>1489086>Turn all the dials up.There is no way in which this will end badly.
>>1489086>>Turn all the dials up.NO HALF MEASURES.
>>1489086Remember when we tied Nick up and considered killing him? Good times.>Turn all the dials up.
>>1489086>Not being a manly man and using a classic charcoal kettle grill.Also...>Just leave it alone.
>>1489134I've got other pictures that could conceivably demonstrate my disappointment in Johnny's choice of grill. Care for a few?
>>1489188Huh, seems I have less pictures for scorn/disdain then I thought I had. That and far too many for anger and rage. Sorry about the paltry selection. Please choose your preferred reaction, please.
>>1489086There's only one way to be sure this meat gets a proper sear, and that's with proper heat. You turn all the dials up. No half measures. As long as you don't do anything weird, it shouldn't explode. Right?Nick wanders over with an unlit cigarette. "Got a light?""Use the barbecue," you suggest.He looks at the flames, leaping higher and higher as the gas increases in intensity. "Uh ... maybe I'll go find some matches."A couple minutes later, you raise the barbecue top and survey your work with satisfaction. Whether or not you almost blew yourself up, you were at least able to grill some damn fine meats with the heat they deserved."Come and get it, fellas!" you shout. You pile the meat onto a serving platter and take it over to the table where you've got condiments and buns ready to go.Medium-rare steak decked with onion rings. Half-beef, half-pork burgers with cheese surrounded by thick kaiser buns. Hot dogs with every topping. Truly you have prepared a dazzling display of meat."I don't know where to start," Zero says, goggling."It's ... it's beautiful," whispers Nick. "I might shed a tear.""Oh dear," says Ryuji. "I still feel quite full from the sushi."You roll your sleeves back another turn. "Guess we've got our work cut out for us, fellas. It's a dirty job, but we're the only ones who can do it."
>>1489200This Louis CK illustration speaks to me. You're taste is reaction images is better than Johnny's taste in grills if it means anything.
>>1489211Thank you, good anon!
>>1489206The steaks are just right. The burgers are just right. It's all so good. There's almost no conversation because everyone is eating as fast as they can. Everything blurs into a banquet of meat. Eventually ..."Oh god," Nick groans. He lies sprawled on a lawn chair, clutching his stomach. "So ... much ... meat ..."Zero slowly slides out of his chair until he collapses on the grass. "I can't go on," he gasps. "Tell them I tried, but ... the meat ... it was too much for me ..."Ryuji lies with his head on his arms. "I am sorry. This foe has defeated me."You let out a belch. The epic plate of steak, burgers and hotdogs is almost finished. "That's all right, I think we can call this a moral victory. I'll save the rest for breakfast tomorrow. Who's up for some after-dinner drinks? I find a little liquor helps the meal go down sometimes.""I agree," says Ken. "But let's make sure to pace ourselves."
>>1489307Soundtrack: Jimi Hendrix - Stone Freehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNK5-tZ_OgALet's make sure to pace ourselves, he said. That didn't last long."So that's why," says Ken, and hiccups. "So that's why Mustang is -- is -- they don't even -- they can't even --""Don't start that shit with me," you say, noticing vaguely that you're spilling your glass of whiskey as you gesture. "Fucking Honda? Fucking Mitsubishi? Don't -- don't even -- fucking -- ah god." You eye your now-empty glass. "I gotta get a refill. Hold on."You stumble over to the bar, where Nick and Zero are sitting. "Oh man," Zero says, and burps. A half-finished bottle of tequila, a line of empty shot glasses, spilled salt, and discarded limes litter the bar in front of him and Nick. "Eating all that sushi doesn't seem like such a good idea anymore.""Not so hungry for fish now, huh kid?" Nick says, laughing and giving Zero a friendly slap on the back.Zero makes a weird sound as his face turns green. He makes for the bathroom on unsteady legs, bouncing off a wall on his way.That just sets Nick off even harder. "This fucking guy -- ha ha! Oh man." He pours himself another shot and raises his glass to you. "What about you, big fella? Think you can keep up?">Back down.>Accept the challenge.>Show him who's the boss and outpace him.
>>1489320>>Show him who's the boss and outpace him.It's on now.
>>1489320>>Show him who's the boss and outpace him.
>>1489328>>1489331Roll a d10 to show him who's the boss.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>1489368
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1489368
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>1489370you call that a roll, this is a roll
>>1489378>this is a roll
>>1489378Sure is a roll.
>>1489320>>1489370>>1489373>>1489378"I mean, if you think you can handle it," you say, taking a seat on the stool Zero just vacated. "I'm at least sixty pounds heavier than you. Maybe eighty. So this should be easy.""You say that, pal, but we'll see." Nick wags a cautionary finger. "I've been drinking all up and down the coast for years. One time I swindled my way into a high-roller room and started getting wasted on complementary champagne. I got into a drinking contest with a Colonel from one of those little eastern European countries that doesn't exist anymore. He was about your size, maybe bigger. But I drank him under the fucking table." He takes his shot, slams the glass down on the bar, and grins at you. "So you better be ready to back that attitude up.""Challenge accepted. What are we drinking?"Nick gestures to the bar, all the different types of liquor Zero brought lined up. "Pick your poison."You grab a bottle at random. "Let's try all the colors of the rainbow, shall we? One shot from each bottle.""Fuck yeah, man. Let's do it."At first, it doesn't go well. You've been taking it easy on the liquor, what with all the pain medication (beer is another story, but that's different, right?). You almost spit up on the third shot, and Nick breaks out into a shit-fit of giggles at the face you made.But in the end, you have the last laugh. You lost track of the number of shots, but somewhere around nine or ten, Nick is staggering away from the bar in the direction of the bathroom, clutching his stomach. "Zero, you son of a bitch -- get out of there -- I have a desperate need!"You laugh as Nick slinks away in defeat. "That's right, you little bastard! Better think twice about challenging me again!" You sit back on your stool, laughing some more. Oh man, that was a good one.Oh man. What is that feeling in your stomach?You don't feel so good.In fact--"HUURRUGHGHGHH--!!"
>>1489438"AGG- HURRGURRUGH- AIN, AGAIN"
>>1489438Some time, and many towels, later ..."It's okay," you say. "I didn't like this carpet anyway." You're sitting on the ground, leaning against the bar, next to the stain from the huge puddle of puke that you just cleaned up.Ryuji returns, having found a laundry basket, and he and Ken dump all the vomit-sudden towels into it. Ken says, "It's not a real party until someone drinks enough to throw up. It's much the same in Japan."The phone rings, and you groan. Why did you have a phone installed in here again? Right, because you might get an important phone call in this exact situation. If somebody is getting ambushed by Russians, you think as the phone continues to ring, you're probably not going to be much help to them. But maybe you better answer it anyway.You gesture vaguely in Ryuji's direction. "Can you pass that fucking thing down here?"Ryuji sighs and picks up the phone. "Johnny's residence. Ah, yes. It's you. Yes. One moment." He squats down next to you, places the phone base on an unstained part of the carpet, and holds out the handset. "Your friend Roxie."Oh shit. You were afraid this might happen.Roxie's cool and powerful, and a good friend, if a weird one. But ever since you started having certain ... thoughts about her, it's been another source of stress to deal with. You can't sort out just how you feel about her, let alone how that complicates things with Alex and Catherine, who you also haven't figured out. You just wanted the guys here tonight, so you didn't have to deal with any of that bullshit.You wonder if there's a way to make Roxie understand that without hurting her feelings. Warily, you raise the handset to your face. "Hey, Roxie. Listen, I, uh ..."She laughs. "You sound scared, cowboy. Don't worry, I already heard about your little dick-waving contest tonight from Shades. I've got plans of my own. Kinda busy, actually." You can hear shouting and other rowdy crowd noises in the background. "Just thought I'd give you a call and say hi to you and the boys." "Oh ... okay." You look up at Ryuji and Ken. "Roxie says hi."They look at each other and shrug.You say to Roxie:>Yeah, so I just threw up.>Nick just threw up.>We're having a good time.>What are these plans of yours?>Where are you now?>I haven't forgotten I owe you a night on the town.>Write-in.
>>1489514>>Nick just threw up.>>We're having a good time.>Where are you now?>I haven't forgotten I owe you a night on the town.
>>1489514>Yeah, so I just threw up.>Nick just threw up.>Now we're teaming up to get the rest of them to vomit, so they can share in our suffering.>What are these plans of yours?>I haven't forgotten I owe you a night on the town.
>>1489514>We're having a good time.>What are these plans of yours?>I haven't forgotten I owe you a night on the town.
>>1489514"Nick just threw up," you say.Roxie laughs. "What a punk, right?""Yeah. We're having a good time, though. What are these plans of yours?""Just making a little money on the side," she says. "I'm not rich like your little crew, right? A fighting girl's got to earn a living.""All right, just don't get yourself into too much trouble," you say. "I haven't forgotten I owe you a night on the town. I don't want you breaking your own leg and delaying that.""Thanks, Johnny. Hold on a second. Hey, fuck you, man!" you hear her shout at someone else."What was that?" you hear a man growl in the background. "You got something to say to me, bitch? I'll put you in the fucking -- aieee!!""Oh god--" "--did you see--" "--that fucking bitch--" You hear the sound of bottles breaking."Whoops," says Roxie. "I gotta go, Johnny! Talk to you later!"The phone clicks off, and you look at the silent headset for a moment before hanging it back up.Nick weaves his way back into the room. "Holy fuck. You guys. Important. Very important.""What is it?" you ask."The match!" he says. "We're missing it! Get into the fucking living room! I have to see what happens to my goddamn ten grand!"
>>1489559"Where's Zero?" you ask Nick as you follow him into the living room."Passed out in the bathtub," he says, darting back and forth, trying to figure out how to turn everything on. "How did he set this up -- this fucking -- what the hell is -- aha!"The television fizzles to life, displaying a boxing match in progress in front of a huge crowd. An older, heavyset man is defending himself against a brutal onslaught from a younger, confident-looking hotshot."Yes!" shouts Nick. He imitates the younger boxer's punches. "Get him! Kick his ass, kid! Push him into the corner! Hell yeah!"The bell rings to signal the end of the round, and the two boxers go to their corners. The younger man is breathing heavily, but has the gleam in his eye of a predator. The older man is clearly injured, with a swollen eye, but stares at his opponent across the ring with dogged determination."I'm telling you, this is the time the champ finally goes down," Nick says."I wouldn't be so sure," says Ken.>You're right, Nick. I think the kid can do it.>If Ken's siding with the champ, then so am I.>Boxing is bullshit. These guys wouldn't last five minutes in 'Nam.
>>1489562>Well, we'll just have to wait and see, then.
>>1489562>>If Ken's siding with the champ, then so am I.
>>1489562>Boxing is bullshit. These guys wouldn't last five minutes in 'Nam.Break out the 'how long would they last in 'Nam' clock again.
>>1489562Changing to:>I dunno, Nick, Old Guy looks like he'd survive 'Nam, Kid? Not so much.
>>1489581Actually, I'll side with this as long as we get in a comparison to the Vietnam War somehow.
>>1489562You shrug. "I don't really care about this boxing stuff. Too many rules. These assholes wouldn't last five minutes in the bush in 'Nam." You lean in to take a closer look at the champ, and the determination in his eyes. "Well, actually, I don't know about that guy. He might have what it takes. He's got the look of a survivor. A guy who's seen a lot of battles, and come out the other side. The kid? Not so much. I don't know, Nick, I might have to side with Ken on this one. The champ doesn't look like someone who's about to lose.""What are you talking about?" protests Nick. "The kid is ahead on every level! The champ is done for!""He's waiting for the kid to tire out," observes Ken. "When that happens, he'll strike. You'll see."The bell rings, and another round begins. The hotshot closes in, swinging away, but his punches don't have the same speed as before. The champion defends himself tenaciously. The kid gets impatient and throws a wild blow, trying to break through, but the veteran sees it coming, sidesteps, and lays in a massive combination. The kid bounces off the ropes, crashes to the ground, and lies still. The referee starts the count."No!" Nick sinks to his knees, clutching at his hair. "For the love of God and all that is holy, no! Stand up, you son of a bitch! Get the fuck up!"You and Ken can't help laughing as the referee's count reaches ten. The champ's hand is raised in victory, and the televised crowd in the stadium cheers, even as Nick claws at the sky in defeat. "WHYYYYY?"
>>1489624The stars are starting to appear in the darkening sky as you lug a pair of gun bags, one strap over each shoulder, into the backyard. "No American backyard party is complete without firing guns irresponsibly," you announce, opening the bag to reveal half the contents of your armory. Pistols, shotguns, rifles, machine guns, everything a gun nut could desire. "Pick the weapon of your choice, and go right ahead." You gesture at the target range you have set up. "Just make sure you fire at the targets. Still don't have any neighbors in that direction, so as long as you don't hit each other, it'll be fine."The gun you select for yourself is:>AK-74 Assault Rifle>Ruger Mini-14 Hunting Rifle>M60 Machine Gun>M79 Grenade Launcher>Write-in
>>1489633>>M60 Machine GunCue 'Nam flashbacks.
>>1489633>>M60 Machine GunTracers are a must. Johnny probably humped one of these things all across 'nam. Maybe slap on his old pot just for a laugh.
>>1489633>Ruger Mini-14 Hunting Rifle>>1489637>Tracers are a mustPic related
>>1489642Don't associate me with Tracer fags.
>>1489642>>1489644Wrong quest, fellas. Wait until OWQ for that, we've got enough waifu wars in this quest as is.>>1489635>>1489637Writing.
>>1489633You haul the M60 out of the bag, feeling the familiar weight. "I used to carry one of these bad boys back in 'Nam. Probably humped one across half the country and back."Nick picks up your huge pistol, the Ruger Redhawk. "This is quite a fucking pistol. I'll try this guy."Ken takes your Remington 700 sniper rifle and sets it against his shoulder, eyeing down the scope. "Is this calibrated?""Close enough at this range," you say.Ryuji is looking over your AK-74 assault rifle. "I've had that since day two of this little adventure," you tell him. "The Russians gave it to me to help them steal that money. That's when everything went to shit, and I ended up turning to your sister for help."All right, tracer rounds for everybody," you say, distributing the ammo and some disposable earplugs. You help everyone get their guns loaded, and head over to the target range. "Everybody ready? Let's light it up!"Gunshots shatter the peace of the evening, tracer rounds ripping through the night sky. You brace yourself and pull the trigger, and the M60 comes to life like an angry beast in your hands. In 'Nam they called this gun "the pig" and it feels like it, too, a pissed-off hairy boar bucking around in your arms. A stream of tracers spews from your machine gun into the darkness. That surge fills your blood, the exaltation of violence, and you realize you're laughing. The gun clicks empty, and it spins down as you let go of the trigger. You're breathing a little heavily. "Whoo! That is a proper fucking gun. I miss my Ultimax, but having one of these beasts again is pretty good too."
>>1489684The four of you sit down at the backyard table for cigarettes. Your head is swimming, and your stomach is still lurching from vomiting earlier, but you're still able to string two words together, so that's enough. The Yamadas look like they've managed to keep some semblance of sobriety, although Nick is almost passing out in his chair."It's been quite a night," you say. "Thanks for joining me, guys. It was just what I was looking for.""It's our pleasure," Ken says."The twins will help me clean up tomorrow," you say. "For now, we should start thinking about -- uh -- what are you two looking at?"Ken and Ryuji have gone very still and are looking at something behind you. "Johnny," Ken says, quietly. "Turn around, but do it very slowly and very, very carefully."Doing as he says, you cautiously turn in your seat. What the hell could be behind you that's got them so spooked? Could someone have snuck into the backyard? Not likely. There's nothing behind you but the backyard pond and ---- and the alligator. The fully-grown alligator, barely ten feet away from you. It opens its mouth slowly, revealing row upon row of lethal teeth. Its eyes gleam in the darkness."Oh fuck," you hear yourself saying. "It's Mr. Scrufflybumpkins Senior.">Back away, slowly>Shoot it>Wrassle the gator
>>1489710>>Wrassle the gator
>>1489710>>Wrassle the gator>>Whisper for ken to get the camera out of the house and document this.
>>1489715>>1489717>>1489731Roll d10 to wrassle.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>1489741
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>1489741
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>1489741
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1489741
>>1489753BE FASTER NEXT TIME
>>1489710>>1489744>>1489747>>1489750"Ken," you say quietly. "In the house, third door on the right, there's a black case. Inside is one of those fancy new home video recorder camera things.""Er ... why do you want me to do that?""Because this needs to be documented." You stand up, take off your jacket, and flex your fists. A tiny voice, far away in your mind, is saying that this is a really, really bad idea. The rest of you has had about thirty drinks tonight and thinks what you're about to do is a fantastic idea."Come here, you ugly motherfucker," you say, getting into your gator wrasslin' stance.The alligator lunges out of the water at you, but you're ready for it. You're a Florida boy, so you know what needs to be done to fight a gator, and you manage to get around its attack, then clamp a hand around its jaws, trapping its mouth closed. Now you just have to watch out for its tail -- oh, shit! You just barely dodge that one, but you fall off balance and the two of you plunge back into the pond.You struggle in the dark, murky water, the alligator thrashing as it tries to get its jaws free of your hands. But you keep your fingers clamped on like a vise. It tries to roll to break out of your grip, but you brace your feet against the bottom of the pond and hold on."Not today, you son of a bitch," you grunt, dragging the gator with you as you get out of the pond. It kicks and wriggles, its powerful bulk straining to break free, its tail lashing at you, but you ignore it. The tail knocks over the chairs and table that you and the others were just sitting at. "Quit breaking my stuff!'Taking a firm grip and a solid stance, you slam the alligator into the stones. While it's stunned, you pick it up, haul it over to the fence, and throw it over. "Stay out of my yard," you say, and walk back to the house.Ken and Ryuji are standing there agape, Ken with the video camera in his hands. "Did you get that?" you ask Ken, dripping water from your pond-soaked clothes onto the patio."I think so. Maybe. That was, um. I, um." Ken looks at Ryuji. "How would you describe it, nephew?""Drunkenly power slamming an alligator?" says Ryuji. "Just another day for Johnny."
Personal headcannon for Johnny is that the US government was testing some sort of serum for super soldiers during Nam in this verse and he got caught in the study. It was discarded after years of not showing discernible results (other than a high mortality rate) but what they didn't know is Johnny had the right batch, it just takes a while to kick in. Thus power slamming a 10 foot gator while drunk off his ass on a broken leg.
>>1489784That's all for tonight, anons. I may cap this thread off tomorrow with some kind of "morning after" scene, or I may just leave it with powerslamming an alligator.I hope you enjoyed Johnny's night off with the guys. The next thread will move forward to when Johnny's leg is healed, and we will return to hurting other people.Thanks for playing Thug Quest.
>>1489803Thanks for running, Boss!
>>1489803Thank you for running.