take off your clothes and cover yourself with flowers to bait the monsters

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Uh-oh, looks like while you were standing there like a dope, a monster showed up!

It is...

Significantly bigger than you were expecting...

But you can take it right? Sure you were expecting an oversized rat or green slime or whatever, but it's just some stupid monster right?

...What do you do?

take off your clothes and cover yourself with flowers to intimidate the monster

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>>1462062
You unequip your clothing, and cover yourself in nearby flowers!

The monster boggles vacantly at your shenanigans, unsure of how to proceed, buying you a turn.

>>1462062
this

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>>1462121
You attempt to use your flowery apparel to intimidate the monster!
You fucking fail!
Out of sheer pity, the monster only lightly grazes you with it's gigantic mandible!
What now?!?!?!?

>>1462161
Take that nigga's dumb ass and suplex him.
Suplex him so hard that he shits out parcels.

>>1465486
Don't forget to eat it's carcass and gain its powers!

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>>1465486
You try to suplex the monster!
You fucking fail!
Again!

It is becoming readily apparent that you are quite the unskilled individual.

The monster thinks you are trying to hug it, and is becoming quite flustered. Yet again, it's turn is wasted, and you get to go again!

>>1467368
Well, this is something at least. Start dry humping the monster.

>>1467368
Tickle the shit out of it.
You're such a fucking retard, you should be able to atleast tickle, with your finger stubs or whatever.

>>1467368
Paint a green and white stripe on its back next to the red triangle. With luck, it will be mistaken for the flag of Palestine and the IDF will bomb the shit out of it.

Before doing that, we must flirt with it
Then date it
Marriage is optional
Then we question our life choices as we enjoy doing this>>1467871

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>>1468449
You initiate a date with the monster!
The heartthrobomitter falls from the sky, representing the love and passion (LP for short) between you!

The monster is shocked to see how high it is already! Is it really falling for you that easily?

But the fact of the matter is, you've been doing mildly suggestive things pretty much this entire fight (+2 LP) You initiated a date with it (+2 LP) The monster has been quite lonely as of late (+2 LP) and you're wearing nothing than a skimpy flower outfit (+3 LP)! On top of all that, the monster has pretty low standards to begin with (29 LP required to fill the heartthrobomitter).

Alright, time to get your flirt on!
What will you do and/or say???

>>1468497
I always wanted a pointy girlfriend

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>>1468622
"I always wanted a pointy girlfriend. " You say suavely. Well, it's not really that suave. Your charisma stat is like, 1 or something. It's LP is unaffected...
It is however, the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to the monster! +5 LP!

The monster counters with the power of being uncertain! What if he's just saying that so that you'll like him? And if not, does that mean he only want's you for your body?? For that matter, is it even a he??? The flowers are covering all the important bits! You can't even tell! I mean, you don't really care either way, but should you really rush into a relationship with someone you know this little about???? -3 LP!
...Wait.
Did they...
Did they say GIRLFRIEND?????
They want you to be there girlfriend? And they didn't even ask! They just stated it outright!

The monster has no idea as to whether or not should be creeped the hell out by you calling it your girlfriend, or if it likes your assertiveness!

The dieliberator function of the heartthrobomitter opens, revealing a D8.

It seems you must roll a D8 to decide how it feels!

Rolled 7 (1d8)

>>1468796
Papa needs a new monster gf.

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>>1468818
You rolled a 7, one of the highest possible numbers on this die!

The monster is smitten by your assertiveness!
+4 LP!

Alright, it's your turn again. What do you do/say?

>>1468839
Ask for phone number and set up a date.

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>>1468853
The monster has no phone number!

>>1468863
Give her your nipple flowers

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>>1468882
You give her your nipple flowers!
+4 LP!
Also, it seems you are a man.

The monster is so fucking flustered and smitten that it passes it's turn while trying to sort out it's emotions.

It's your turn again. What do you do/say?

>>1468918
You know...
if we go back to your place,
I can give you my third flower.

>>1468918
>>1468963
Flirt with her some more.

Sex the monster

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>>1468963
"You know, if we go back to your place... I can give you me third flower.~ "

The monster stares at you.
Her blush deepens.

All eight of her eyes seem to be peering into your very soul.

Shakily, she nods her head. and starts to guide you back to her place. +8 LP!

You are now in a spiderweb-coated cave.

She appears to be expecting the removal of your final garment.

Are you sure you want to go through with this?

>>1470213
Well...
how about we take it off together?

>>1470213
Do it! Take it off!

>>1470213
Well, we've come this far. Might as well take it off.

I am amazed we made through this guys!
Brace for overflowing impact!

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>>1470247
>>1470466
>>1470686
>>1471227

You remove your dickflower.
You fuck the monster.
It's an interesting experience. You... finish... almost immediately, but she doesn't seem to mind. It seems you are both virgins, and so you both had rather low expectations.
You wind up screwing each other every thirty minutes or so, quite few times, before falling asleep on a bed of spider silk.

Sadly, we won't be seeing any of this, due to rule 4 of /qst/, and OP (me) being too much of a mod-fearing bitch to break it.
Not to mention that with a art style like this, it likely would be less than titillating anyway.

Oh, and what's this? Your heartthrobomitter is maxed out! The monsters love and passion for you are at such extremes that it has begun to generate LP juice, stored in a LP crystal. Any extra that overflows is sadly lost to the dark realm of false love.

Anyway, when you wake up, what are you plans?

>>1471400
Ride our new gf (in a less sexual way) out into the forest to look for adventure.

>>1471418
Supporting, since we have the potential for children, maybe we can train them and have a sort of monster/man mercenary team! This one weird occurrence is a sort of blessing now that I think about it! I can't believe my idea of>>1468449 is actually helpful!

Say, does LP juice have anything to do with magic?

>>1471481
>>1471487
Prepping for combat:
Is spider pregnant?
Is LP juice useful in any way/shape/form and how?
Can spider fight with us?
Do we know how to get weapons/armor?

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Sleeping has restored your HP to ten.

It seems like the date (and by extension the battle) has ended! You and the monster both won! You have earned the following magic pie slices:
1 Patheticality
1 Romanticality
1 Battleosity
1 Dateishness
1 Sexfullnes
2 Firstastity
2 Pacifullulitor

You store the pie slices away in the metafreezer.

>>1471487
Magic? Man who even knows at this point.
So much magical and technological shit is all over the place that fucking anything could be magic. LP juice is probably magic. Everything you use it for is probably magic. Everything even remotely related to it is probably magic.
In fact, some say that the entire world is just one big spell. Who even knows.
The magic pie slices are probably magic.

In fact, you vaguely recall pie-based magic to be one of the most common types. You aren't really sure how it works though.

>>1472009
You... Are pretty sure she isn't. You think you once heard that beings who are different species from each other need specialized magic to reproduce.

You have no idea what LP juice is used for. You may need to just try using it in various ways until you figure it out. Or you could find a book or something.

Yes she can! Well, once she's in your party anyway.

Umm... Buy them? At a store? And you guess you could pick up a stick or rock or something to use in the meantime.

>>1471418
You hop on the monsters (you should probably think of a name...) back, and set out to adventure!
??? Has joined the party! Their HP paper appears!

But where to explore?

You could go deeper into the cave. The fact that your girlfriend lives here means that she can probably deal with anything that shows up. on the other hand, you don't have a light, so that's probably a bad idea.

You could go back into the forest, and get back to trying to find slimes and shit that drop gold.

Oh.
You guess you could try to get back to your house.
You still don't know how you got to this place...

Or you could do something else if you like.

So what will it be fellas?

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For reference, this is your metafreezer.
It's getting rather full. And by that I mean that it was at max capacity about three slices ago.
Any more, and you may need to throw some out.

>>1472209
You eat both the sexfullness and pacifulliliton and ride back to Forest

>>1472209
Throw out the patheticality slice. We don't need any of that shit! And god knows we'll be getting more before this is over.

Then head back to our place.

>>1473199
That may be a bad idea, considering how we might have neighbors who will see the spider. Maybe we should get a stick or something and practice combat first with a few slimes...

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>>1473094
>>1473199
>>1473575
You eat the slice of sexfullness pie!
You gain a point of charisma, and have an orgasm.
Okay then...

You eat a slice of pacifullulitor pie!
You lose a point of strength, and can't attack on your first turn in the next battle you're in.
Maybe you shouldn't have eaten that...

Well at least they tasted good.

You toss the patheticality slice away.

You decide to practice combat.
You hunt around for a bit, looking for monsters. Roll a D3 and a D8.

Rolled 2 + 1 (1d3 + 1)

>>1473755

Oh shoot! We should've fed that to anyone we want to go on our side or at least not hurt us! Gosh darn waste of a gift in disguise!

So, what does >>1473770 mean?

>>1473755
>Battleosity
We should think about eating this peace too if we are going out to fight Unless we just want to build our selves a monster (girl?) harem.

Considering how we ate a pacifullulitor pie, and weakened our selves, we should train to naturally increase strength and other stats while saving the slice for an emergency... Like spider child uprising

I just realized we might wanna get our old clothes back...

New thread: >>1488740