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/qst/ - Quests


File: maxresdefault.jpg (117 KB, 1280x720)
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>You are Anon
>14 year old Punchy-Wizard-Zombo boi

CHARACTER SHEET
https://pastebin.com/UHYYajzX

>It's currently Wednesday, my dude
>You've been asked to help out your new bropenhagen Justin with the Football game on FRIDAY
>Using your sick muscle powers of flesh magic
>Some dude tried to your girl today with a Monster Muscle arm of his own
>Shit actually did not work
>Huh
>Some Hoes are loyal.gif
>Years ago, for one of your birthdays your dad got a bike
>In order to buy this bike however, he stole and pawned the one thing you really enjoyed in life
>Your Saxophone
>Butter Johnson
>You used to play that thing from the moment you got up until you went to bed
>You got so bad at video games when you owned it
>Now, thanks to the prophecy of a mysterious hobo (Your DIRT BROTHER) here you are
>At 1770 Wurther Street
>A pawn shop
>...and resting on a pedestal, all shiny and looking like new...

https://youtu.be/ZsXjCp_f1h4

>Is BJ himself
>Your instrument of beauty
>You are Anon
>You've got so much in your life now
>Friends
>Enemies
>A mission to save the one who gave you your powers
>All that falls away now
>Because this shop has your Sax
>You need your Sax

>It costs $650 cash or trade

What. Do?
>>
>>1460456
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZDkzJYmZsw
Let's go inside and scope the place out. And Memorize every single detail about where our sax is. We gon' portal that thing outta there.
>>
>>1460456
Get minifridge and bike and pawn them for BJ
>>
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Anybody want to go with Guzma's plan?
>>
>>1460456
First things first, knock on the door to the house and see if anybody's home.
>>
>>1460456
>>1460466
this. It might not be enough money to buy the sax but it will be enough to secure it.
>>
>>1460456
>>1460466
This has my support.
>>
>>1460471
Supporting this.Pawn the fridge while we're at it.
>>
>>1460465
This
>>
>>1460474
>>1460466

The Mini Fridge. We have no need of the bike with the scissors for the most part, so that can go too.

We should be able to get it on retainer while we scrounge the extra cash. Heck, maybe the store owner is chill too. MAYBE ITS DIRT BROTHER.
>>
>>1460456
I, of course, am going to vote for my own plan.
>>
guys we can haggle the price down on the sax, it is not a fixed price. combine that with the bike and minifridge and we can possibly buy BJ
>>
>>1460498
Guys, we don't even know the person who has the sax right now. We need to greet the owner of the home and (presumably) the owner of the sax.
>>
>>1460466
Supporting, plus raid Ludo's castle for more shit to pawn.
>>
>>1460498
Yes, but we could also steal bike and keep mini fridge and bike for future exchanges, or simply more money.
>>
>>1460505
dude, its a pawn shop not someone's house
>>
>>1460505
THIS

Plus there's probably a reason Dirt Brother KNEW about our sax. LIke how the hell does that happen? Lets at least scope the place before we act.
>>
>>1460498
>>1460466
don't forget to haggle down the price.
>>
>>1460511
How'd I miss that?
>>
>>1460516
again, its a pawn shop, its for SALE
>>
>>1460456
>>1460465
Since the superior route is clearly losing, I'll change my vote to getting shit from Ludo's place to pawn off. He's got like a game system in there or something. That's gotta be worth some money.
>>
>>1460456
Supporting:
>>1460466
After Haggling.
If it doesn't cover the cost pawn our Dad's stuff.
>>
>>1460466
We should at least try this. We can always try to steal it later.
>>
>>1460542
there is also mr johansen's(the guy that died via SJwerewolf) stuff
>>
>>1460471
I vote for this plan.
>>
TIME TO COUNT!
>>
Have we fucked her yet
>>
>>1460568
who? and the answer is no.
>>
>>1460568
No sir I can't say we have.
>>
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>>1460568
>>
>>1460568
Just BJ
>>
>>1460594
L-lewd
>>
>>1460594
Jesus
>>
>>1460568
We fucked ourselves over, but other waifus? No.

If Anon masturbates with Muscles, is it a handjob or still masturbation?
>>
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>>
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THE VOTES

>Pawn Ludo's Minifridge, and your old Bike to try and get the cash dollars
7 votes

>Scope the joint
1 vote

>Sneeki Breeki stealy route
4 votes


>You move in a blur
>The scissors come out of your jacket and SHRRRIP!
>You jump out back home
>You dash downstairs to the Garage
>There's your bike
>Standard Walmart variety that it is
>You snatch it and make haste
>SHRRRRIP!

TO CASTLE AVIARIUS

>You think you're starting to get these scissors
>You can only go to specific places if you've been there before
>Trying to go places too fast, or to places you've never been gets...dicey
>Inaccurate
>Exploring the Dimensions is gonna be interesting
>Since you still CAN go to new places
>Like that Skeleton Lords' joint
>Hekapoo showed you how to find his lair
>No matter
>You use the scissors to hop back to Ludo's castle
>The place you were taken to when the little bird creep wanted your book
>Some of your blood simmers when you remember finding out what he did to her
>You shake it off
>No time for that now
>The doors on the old castle are still hanging on by staples and dreams
>You scissor again, jumping out inside the game room
>Immediately you make for the mini-fridge
>Fuckit, the game system too
>It's an oldschool Sega
>Nice
>Just as you pull it up however falling debris catches your ear
>You turn
>You're face to face with a bird creature
>Who looks just like Ludo
>Only...taller
>He's just staring too
>Looks just as surprised as you are
>You're holding up a huge pile of junk in one arm

What do?
>>
>>1460631
Hi?
>>
>>1460631
>BYE
>Portal out with stuff
>>
>>1460631
>Immediate aggressive stance
"YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, LUDO!!!"
>>
>>1460631
>Get the shit and leave we don't have time for bird men.
>>
>>1460631
Kiss him to distract him momentarily, then we escape.
>>
>>1460631
Tell him to fuck off, and continue on our merry way.
>>
>>1460631
>Grab new guy by the neck with Muscles
>"Who are you and why are you here?!"
>>
>>1460641
This. Don't be clever, just take advantage of his surprise.
>>
>>1460631
Hello, It is I one and only Luna came here to collect junk for my junk collection will you help me my dear friend.
>>
>>1460631
"Good bye."
Continue about your business.
WE HAVE NO TIME FOR SCUM
WE NEED OUR SAX
>>
>>1460641
Supporting.
>>
>>1460631
Goodbye good sir!
>>
>>1460631
Portal out
>>
>>1460641
Just make chaos and portal out
>>
>>1460631
Supporting:
>>1460641
>>
>>1460631
Hi. Goodbye.
>>
>>1460658
supporting, gotta get some info
>>
File: Pete.jpg (9 KB, 320x240)
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>>1460641
>>1460651
>>1460661
>>1460681

>He speaks
>Whoah, that is definitely not Ludo
>???: "Who?"
>A: "Boo."
>???: "Boo?"
>A: "Yeah, Boo."
>???: "Why, Boo?"

>SHHHHRRRRIIIP

>A: "Cause I'm ghostin' your ass, niggaaaa~"
>???: "HEY!"
>He leaps for the portal just as you duck in to escape
>NotInMyhouse.png
>You zip that shit shut so fast you see the air distort from him hitting the closed portal
>WHUMP
>You now have this glorious pile of junk

>A BIKE
>A SEGA
>A MINI FRIDGE

>With confidence you stroll into the Pawn shop, ready to free your self from Saxlessness
>Ready to get BJ out of here

https://youtu.be/dISuBAGxw4w

>The guy behind the counter looks like life chewed up his last three marriages and spit them out on a plate for him to finish with a glass of lukewarm pee
>He glances over his paper at you
>A nametag on his chest read's simply "Pete."

>P: "Hundred bucks."

>what
>>
>>1460707
>300 store credit.
>>
>>1460707
He'll give us a hundred bucks for all this stuff. We gotta haggle it up.
>>
>>1460707
Haggle, see if we can put BJ on layaway or something like that
>>
>>1460707
Let's haggle. Make sure to read his thoughts to give us an advantage.
>>
>>1460720
plus read his thoughts to get advantage
>>
>>1460707
Start of high with our price, then we slowly go down. That works on TV so why wouldn't it work here?
>>
>>1460707
Mind read that bitch! See if we can get some info for haggling, or what he'd wanna trade for the sax.
>>
>>1460720
This gains my support.
Gotta make use of our mind-reading powers somehow.
>>
>>1460707
Let's haggle.
Make sure to read his thoughts.
>>
>>1460720
Yeah, read his thoughts. We're getting that sax
>>
>>1460707
Supporting:
>>1460720
>>
>>1460720
This
>>
>>1460707
Side note, do not fucking make it seem like we care about the sax at all. That will fuck up every single route we can take to getting the sax.
>>
>>1460780
true, make it seem like we just want to get store credit or cash
>>
>>1460780
Agreed
>>
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>>1460720

>A: "Bullshit."
>You immediately counter
>He gives you a look that could rust new pipes into bursting
>His thoughts are pouring out of his ears
>P: "Who da fuck is this kid?"
>Holy Hell
>His inner monolouge
>It has a backtrack

https://youtu.be/2ZRE0Fvisyc

>P: "I think a homeless lady must have dropped him off er somethin. Is he in here tryn'a eat? He don't look like a booster. He's got a mouth."

>P: "Hundred. Bucks."

>P: "Nuttin' personal, little guy. S'just business."


>A: "Fridge alone is worth 150. The bike's another Bill. This Sega is mint! Look at it!"
>He eyes the game station, curling his lip.

>P: "Shit. Is that what that is? It's been too long. All I see are Wiis and Playstations from hoodrats and wannabes. Nobody knows how to operate an extra-legal organization anymore. Fuck him though. I won't go higher than 100 for the Sega. It's niche."

>A: "This whole stash is worth $400! I'd stake my life on it!"

>You slap the counter
>P: "Don't slap my counter."
>You think you shouldn't slap the counter

What say?
>>
>>1460795
slap the counter. "800"
>>
>>1460795
We shouldn't slap the counter.
>>
>>1460795
>request for layaway
>>
>>1460795
Insist four hundred, keep your hand on the counter but don't slap again. Our will is stronger than his.
>>
>>1460812
this,use our will to wear him down
>>
>>1460795
Supporting:
>>1460812
>>
>>1460795
>>1460812
This works.
Say something abour hipsters buying sega's for 3 times as much as we are asking for.
>>
>>1460795
He seems to like jazz so we have something in common,lets use that to get on his good side.
>>
>>1460825
this sounds good we should mention the hipster market
>>
>>1460795
"Give me that fucking sax or me and my boys are going to pillage your store."
>>
>>1460851
FOR FUCKS SAKE NO! THAT'S THE WORST IDEA!
>>
>>1460851
No. We are not threatening the pawnshop owner. We will get kicked out, and lose the sax.
>>
>>1460862
:^)
>>
>>1460851
Support
>>
File: Sol-Feace (U) (Back).jpg (868 KB, 1665x1464)
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Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>1460812
>>1460814
>>1460817
>>1460825

>Your fingers dig into the wood
>A: "I said I want $400."
>P: "I said hands off!"
>He smacks your knuckles with a cane nearby
>Problem was
>That was Muscles' knuckles
>Your whole body contorts as the Muscles tries to lurch up and rip this guy's entire skeleton out
>It feels like swallowing a Gumball when you keep him down
>You also manage to catch more thoughts as you clench your teeth

>P: "Huh. Kid's tougher than he looks. Must be pretty desperate to come in here. He won't get a better price on the street but there's other pawns. Fuck does he want?"

>A: "Look."
>You grimace
>A: "I came here cause I was told you were a wise guy."
>Pete seems to simmer down
>P: "Oh yeah? What do -you- know about wise guys?"
>A: "I know they smell money when it's in front of their face."
>You put the Sega on the counter and pop open the disc tray
>Inside is a dic that reads "Sol Feace"

>Wow
>Some people have played that, you guess
>ROLL CHARISMA!
d20 +2!
>>
Rolled 10 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1460907
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1460907
>:smirk:
>>
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1460907
>>
Rolled 4 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1460907
Rolling.
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>
Rolled 10 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1460907
>>
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1460907
rollan
>>
Rolled 14 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1460907
Rollll
>>
Rolled 18 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1460907
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1460907
This is important and valuable yes.
>>
STOP>>1460925
>>
Stop rolling
>>
Good, the 1 and the 20 cancel out.
>>
>>1460937
>Stop rolling
>Haven't gotten a usable roll yet
>>
Or keep rolling, I'm not a pig like Ron
>>
or keep rolling
>>
Rolled 16 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1460907
>>
Rolled 7 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1460907
>>1460925
Well i guess my thing is wrong so ill roll again just in cause.
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1460907
Well I guess I'll try to roll
>>
>>1460955
WHY
>>
>>1460925
It's a 2, not a 6 boyo.

Still, 16's good.
>>
I'm sorry I'll never roll again.
>>
>>1460955
kill yourself.
>>
>>1460964
>Implying mercy
>>
>>1460973
QUEST SHOWS NO MERCY!
>>
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>>1460925
>>1460925
>>1460925
The winner!

>16 total

>>1460914
+2!

>>1460924
-2

>16 total


>A: "This game was a part of a generation of side-scrollers that's been dead for decades! You get just -one- late 20s to early 30s nostalgia addict in here. Just ONE and you can charge through the nose for this!"
>You're leaning on Muscles who's inflatible arm-waving-tube-man motions are making it look like you're about to jump over the counter
>A: "The system works. I got both controllers! They have all their buttons AND I saw this thing turned on just last week!"
>You place the box down in front of him.
>A: "I'm basically handing you a check. I'm the one taking a hit because I need money before my connects come through."
>P: "Connects?"
>A: "Y-yeah my boys in the uh...hood? No, from the block!"
>P: " -The- block?"
>A: "What other block is there?"
>He's grinning
>He thinks your pulling his leg

>P: "This kid's yankin' my dick."

>O-or that you guess

>P: "Fine, Mr. B-i-g."
>He sits back down in his stool, his arms cross
>P: "250."

What do?
>>
>>1460978
Sell the bike to him next. Show the gear's good and is worth at least an extra $20-$30.
>>
>>1460978
Accepts money, smash and grab a ATM in Ohio like a working man
>>
>>1460978
Challenge him to a sax off for the saxophone!
>>
>>1460978
>request for layaway
>>
>>1460986
this
>>
>>1460978
Harass him. Threaten him. Make him cry. Make him beg. KILL HIM
>>
>>1460989
Who do you think he is? Death?
>>
>>1460978
>>1460986
This.
>>
>>1460986
Ye. Keep haggling. Every dollar counts. The Fridge too while we're at it. Then we try and get the Sax down.
>>
>>1460996
Hey you never know. Also he had a jazz back track to his thoughts.
>>
>>1460978
Alright then, I can see that we're not going to get enough money. Let's just memorize every detail of where our sax is then leave. We'll wait and come back later to portal it out of there.
>>
>>1460978
Better yet. we sell the game to a hipster on the internet.
>>
Why is it that shopping in quests always takes hours? It never is interesting but it just takes so much time to end.
>>1460978
Try to read his mind deeper to get some dirt on him
Or just steal the sax
>>
>>1460978
Get the vending machine and pawn it
>>
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Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>1460986
>>1460986
>>1460986

>You rub your mouth
>Almost as if you had stubble
>Tfw babu face
>Muscles has clawed a hole into the concrete floor
>You can feel him screaming RIP AND TE-
>What to do nex-RIP
>Maybe you could sell him the bike ne-TEAR
>A: "How about the bike?"
>P: "What about it?"
>A: "It's barely been ridden."
>P: "I can see that."
>Rude
>A: "It's got all it's gears, a new chain and it's cherry."
>P: "You steal this bike, kid?"
>A: "Hell yeah, I did. I'm a misunderstoon bad boy with a heart of gold."
>Pete takes a huge gulp from his nearby coffee without breaking eye contact
>This doesn't unnerve you
>It just shatters your lie
>A: "Ok fine it was a birthday gift."
>P: "You must not like who gave it to yah."
>A: "Yeah, he's a bastard."
>P: "Dad?"
>A: "Yeah."
>P: "Heh. Same. 15 for the bike."
>A: "What the fu-"

ROLL CHARISMA ONCE MORE!
>>
>>1460978
>"Now about this mini fridge..."
>>
Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
>>
>>1461029
You mean the broken vending machine?
>>
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
oh fucking hell
>>
Rolled 10 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
>>
Rolled 19 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
>>
Rolled 14 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
Rolling.
>>
Rolled 13 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
>>
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
>>
come on better luck please
>>
Rolled 16 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

now I'm gonna roll again
>>
Rolled 17 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
>>
Rolled 7 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
>>
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036

No 4 post yet, keep rolling.
>>
Rolled 13 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
Take two
>>
Rolled 16 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

1 more time!
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>
2 fucking 16's in a row
>>
>>1461036
Quest reroll the number so we can move this along
>>
Rolled 11 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036

Rolling another.
>>
Rolled 11 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

once more unto the breach!
>>
Rolled 14 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>
>>1461036
>>1461036

REROLLING THE NUMBAA
>>
Rolled 19 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

For fuck sake
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461036
ROLLING FOR HAGGLING!
>>
Let's not steal the sax as they have serial numbers:
https://tamingthesaxophone.com/saxophone-serial-numbers
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>1461113
o fug
>>
>>1461041
Looks like you won.

A 14's OK, but I doubt we can worm our way to what we want with this.
>>
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>
>>1461143
fuck you dude
>>
>>1461143
You fucker.
>>
>>1461143
I already rolled
>>
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>>1461143
>>
>>1461041
>>1461041

WINNER!

>14 total

>No bonuses

>A: "15 bucks!? Where do you get off only giving me 15 dollars for a self-powered form of transportation."
>P: "Cause I'll sell it for 35."
>A: "Wh- but-"
>P: "I'll price it fer 50 and sell it fer 35, kid. It's good business. Plus."
>He reaches down and pulls a sticker off the underside of the seat
>You've never even looked at this hunk of junk longer than 30 seconds
>You had no idea that was there
>He shows the sticker to you
>It reads "Pete's Pawn" in bold red letters on white paper
>P: "That's what I sold it for last time. So, 15. No budgin."

>You've just learned two things about this guy
>One, he doesn't expect sticker price
>Two. He's met your dad
>At least long enough to buy your Sax and sell this bike
>Sonnova bitch
>A: "Fine. How about the fridge?"
>P: "Does it work?"
>A: "Hell yeah."
>P: "Plug it in."
>You do
>Awkward silence time
>Wow
>It's so peaceful in here
>Devoid of customers too
>There's an angle you could work
>CLINGALING
>Somebody's just come stampeding into the store
>Aw, dude
>That's a big man
>Well, not big
>Just wide
>That is a very. -Very- fat man.
>Who is currently eating while trying to explain some shit to Pete
>P: "Tony, Tony-TONY! GETTA YAH FUCKIN' SANDWICH JUICE OFF MY COUNTER YA MOON!"
>Tony is so worked up
>He chokes a little
>Barely gets past the bread and meat in his gullet
>T: "Yah gotta close up, Petey shit is goin' down. TONITE!"
>P: "Tonight?"
>T: "TOO-NITE!"
>A: "Yeah, TONIGHT!"
>They're staring at you
>T: "Who's kid is this?"
>P: "He's a customer, c'mere and quit eyeballin' him."

>They're involved
>The fridge has already frozen some fresh ice cubes
>They're distracted
>Wow, this is actually a great fridge

What do?
>>
>>1461163
Quickly portal in vending machine, even if it is broken it will sell for something
>>
>>1461163
Listen in and mind probe both of them, mostly Tony, for more information.
>>
>>1461183
This is a good idea. I support it.
>>
>>1461163
Read their thoughts. Gotta find out what exactly is going on. Maybe if we offer to help he'll at least give us a discount on the sax. If they laugh at us just give show them what Muscles can do.
>>
>>1461163

>>1461179
>>1461183
Combine these. Time to haggle the badass fridge up.
>>
its a pawn shop not a junk yard
>>
>>1461198
i'll support
>>
>>1461163

>>1461197
This. Otherwise,
>>1461198
this.
>>
>>1461197
this
>>
>>1461198
>Haggle badass fridge up
>By bringing in a busted ass vending machine that was worn by a zombie woman

>>1461179
>It will sell for something
>"Kid, I'm not running a junkyard here."
>>
>>1461197
Listen in, we could just stay out of the upcoming brawl and wait to portal out their injured.
>>
>>1461226
Open a portal to the junkyard and start tossing random shit at him to sell
>>
>>1461239
..... Why the hell would we do that?
>>
>>1461244
Neutral Evil Cleric
>>
>>1461163
offer to help woth whatever is going o. tonight.

for the sax.

keep the based fridge
>>
>>1461256
But why though? We're by no means a cleric, we have no reason to help these people out. Literally no reason to do it.
>>
>>1461264
Sax.
>>
>>1461239
He wouldn't let some random ass kid onto their illegal shit. We would have to pass a high charisma check to get Pete to let us tag along.
>>
>>1461183
This
>>
>>1461270
Who says anything about asking
>>
>>1461282
>We tag along without asking
>"Get the fuck outta here kid before a shoot ya!"
>We're seen abducting mafia members
>"The kids with the coppas! Shoot em!"
>>
>>1461270
if we die he gets all the stuff.

if we are in his opinion helpful we get the sax for 250.
>>
>>1461292
Or, he could tell us to fuck off. That's an extremely likely possibility.
>>
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Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>1461179
>>1461197


>This whole thing is fishy
>The soft prices
>The excellent Macabre demure personalities
>The track suits
>You open your head, feeling for the thoughts you need to hear

>T: "Jesus, I hope Frank makes it outta there. He's a tough guy. Maybe they'll keep him captive. Oh christ Oh jesus they ate Jack's fuckin' hands."
>P: "Damn Chinese fuckers. Nothing's enough for em. They want their little Cabal all up and down the boardwalk. I gotta get this kid outta here."

>P: "That thing work!?"
>Pete yells over his shoulder at you
>A: "Already got Ice!"
>P: "Good. Hundred bucks for the Fridge. 250 for the damn Sega and 15 for the Shit-Bike. I'll toss yah $400 to get the fuck outta my store."
>A: "I want store credit."
>P: "You want store credi what the FUCK do you think this is Best Buy?"
>A: "One sec."
>You dash off down an aisle and whip out your scissors.

>SHHHHHRRRIIIIIPPP

To your room

>Mom's vacuming
>You lock eyes for a second
>The silence is pure gold
>Muscles slaps out onto the Vending Machine and drags it into the portal
>KRRRRR
>KREEEEEEEEEE
>KRRRUUUUH
>A: "H-hi mom."
>She waves back
>Bug eyed and flabberghasted
>You run back to the counter
>Pete's already counting money
>A: "What'll ya give me for this?"
>Pete's glaring over his eyebrows at you
>Tony's wheezing on the counter
>How can somebody work up that much of a sweat just by talking?
>P: "Like I said. $400 and you get the hell out."
>A: "C'mon this thing is huge!"
>P: "Huge and broken."
>A: "Hundred bucks!"
>P: "Jack shit."
>A: "Fifty bucks!"
>P: "Fine, you cunty runt fine! Here!"
>You now have $450 dollars
>Which you slap onto the counter immediately followed by the Saxophone which you snatch from the window
>You're looking into Pete's very SOUL
>His lemony, Pasta sauce ridden Soul
>P: "Wh-"
>A: "Here's my offer."
>P: "I-"
>A: "Take it or leave it, Bambino."

ROLL CHARISMA!
>>
Rolled 5 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461309
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461309
4 again?
>>
Rolled 7 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461309
Oh fuck.
>>
Rolled 7 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461309
>>
Rolled 2 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461309
>>
Rolled 18 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461309
Give me Sax now. And then I'll fuck off.
>>
Rolled 13 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461309
Here's to crits
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461309
>>
Rolled 17 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461163
>>
>>1461324
Dammit, man.
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461309
>>
Rolled 10 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461324
ahahahahah
>>
Rolled 2 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461309
FOR MOTHER
>>
Rolled 17 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1461309
>>
Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

eh why not
>>
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>>1461324
>>1461324

WINNER!

>4 total

>No additional bonus


>You sneezed
>Oh-
>Oh Beelzebub's bubble bath you sneezed right into Pete's Face
>Even Tony stops breathing when you did it
>Snot is all over
>Some went down your shirt
>It's
>Dribbling-
>Fuck
>Pete's eyes are closed
>His lips are trembling
>You can see his thoughts
>He's thinking about the pump action 12 gauge shotgun he keeps under the counter
>That thought, thankfully fades
>However, he does pull the Sax back toward him
>P: "You're at LEAST a hundred bucks short..."
>A: "Bu-"
>P: "Tell you what."
>A: "I'm sorry."
>P: "I'll hold it for yah."

https://youtu.be/bbTWJTK2oCs

>A: "NOOOOOoOooO!"
>Pete throws you out
>With a ticket, reserving your purchase
>One hundred dollars
>You were so close
>Now you can't come back until he re-opens at 3:00pm tomorrow
>Your sax is safe but...
>No
>This isn't acceptable
>You pull yourself up and try to move for the pair as they make for a classic looking Mustang
>Tony actually stops you before you go in on Pete
>T: "Kid. Yah got Moxxi. Just quit now and you'll get yer shit when Pete's in a better mood."
>A: "But I need tha-"
>T: "Kid. The only thing ya -need- is a hot cot, a hotter place to stick yah tool and somebody to prescribe shit to keep the memories off."
>A: "Well, that wasn't projecting at all."
>T: "Aye, fuck you kid that's why yer gettin' shafted."
Tony sits down into the Mustang, pulling a flask from his tracksuit
>...and another sandwich
>T: "Timing kid. Timing and context."
>He takes a deep swig as they both drive off
>SCRRRRR
>You are Anonymous
>You just got screwed
>By your own brand of impatient Pasta and lack of body control
>You have a holding receipt for your Sax

What do?
>>
>>1461416
What do we do?

Pocket that receipt and find a way to make $100.
>>
>>1461416
Go home. We can always come back tomorrow.
We can raise a hundred bucks, can't we?
>>
>>1461432
Sounds like the only thing to do at this point.
>>1461433
This too.
>>
>>1461416
Calm down, calm down. We can have patience for tonight. In the meantime, let's go find something valuable in another dimension.
>>
>>1461416
What do?
ANYTHING BUT THIS
Explorer the hole.
Fuck with Janna.
Teach Zombella the meaning of life.
We'll deal with the Sax later, lets just go anywhere else and THINK about what happened instead of going head long into some shitty scheme to steal the shit or something.
Let's learn from this experience and move on.
>>
>>1461432
We can pawn the gameboy and the watch.
>>
>>1461416
let's go home, we have a lot to explain to mom.
>>
>>1461416
Deep breaths...... let's try to not kill the guy, no matter how satisfying it may be. Let's just.... go try to find some more valuable stuff somewhere else. Maybe more things in Ludo's castle, maybe we could explore Mewni.

Maybe, we could forget about sax for a while and work on murderizing the Swamp Drake. Get to work on testing that rock launcher with portals we were thinking about earlier.
>>
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>>1461446
DID SOMEONE SAY
>>
>>1461416
Go home, check on Wendy, and either rest or continue to look into the land down under for the SJW Werewolf.

Or, we let the Aussies deal with 'im.
>>
>>1461416
Let's go Drake hunting.
>>
>>1461481
They live in Australia, they can handle a bitty titty werewolf
>>
>>1461416
Go and handle the werewolf.
>>
>>1461488
Australians don't got silver though, they can only fend off werewolves with shit talking, other animals, and vegemite
>>
>>1461481
i think he is dead by now. we've let him one full day in asutralia. Either the fauna killed him, or the inhabitants did.
>>
>>1461488
>werewolf bites an Emu
>WereEmu
>>
>>1461509
>Australian animals aren't enough to handle werewolves
:https//m.youtube.com/watch?v=8SlWegS2sS0
>>
>>1461509
What else do they need? The werewolf will just kill himself after getting bantered into oblivion.
>>
>>1461416
Probably go to the library, see if they have any books on how to make quick cash in a day or something.
>>
>>1461577
Or better yet, try and follow them whether our luck pulls through in the end we might be able to get him to give it to us for free and have money for the camping trip or whatever.
>>
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>>1461416
>>1461416

SESSION PAUSE

Anon has become more charismatic from this encounter. Having learned "It's all about context and timing."

>Charisma is now +3


We are on break until 11pm US Central Time


>Stay thirsty, my friends


Anon's Options are as follows


>Fuck it, break into the Store
>Return home to explain shit to Mom
>Warp to the Swamp and square up with the Swamp Drake
>Call Friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
>>
>>1461603
>>Call Friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
>>
>>1461603
>Call Friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
>>
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>>1461603
>Call Friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
>>
>>1461603
>Return home to explain shit to Mom
And while we're on our way,
>Call friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
>>
>>1461603
>Call Friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
>>
>>1461603
>Warp to the Swamp and square up with the Swamp Drake
>>
>>1461603
>>Call Friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
>>
>>1461603
Call friends.

He'll track us down if we steal the sax now.
>>
>>1461603
>Call Friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
Let's make some money.
>>
>>1461603
Why can't we go raiding across dimensions for something to trade? Or find somewhere to research swamp Drake's?

Given our options.
>Return home
>>
>>1461603
>>Call Friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
>>
>Warp to the Swamp and square up with the Swamp Drake
>>
>>1461603
>Return home to explain shit to Mom
>>
>>1461603
I don't wanna break in now that he knows we want it so badly, I don't really see the need to explain shit to Mom,

I'm for either squaring up with the swamp drake, or calling friends to help with a get rich quick scheme. Though, if I had to choose I'd say Janna, she seems like she'd know how to make some fast and easy money.
>>
>>1461603
>>Call Friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
Also we can trick mom into thinking she saw a illusion when she saw us walk out of a portal
>>
>>1461603
>>Call Friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
>>
>>1461603
>Warp to the Swamp and square up with the Swamp Drake
SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER WHEN YOU SEE THE SWAMP DRAKE
>>
>>1461618
>Call Friends on Phone to figure out how to make $100
then
>Warp to the Swamp and square up with the Swamp Drake
>>
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I am returned. In a few minutes I will count votes and get us Rrrrrrolling again!
>>
SESSION UNPAUSE

THE VOTES

>Return Home
3 votes

>Throwdown of a Hodown in the Swamp
3 votes

>Call Friends about makin' cheddar
11 votes


>You start stalking up the street
>You whip out your shitbrick
>It's time to mobilize the troops
>It's Wednesday
>You ain't got no job
>You ain't got no homework
>You need some cash
>First person you ring is Jackie

>Two rings and she's on

>J: "...Hello?"
>A: "Heyoo, wassup?"
>J: "Nuttin' B. Just finished skatin', and I'm grinding Duramboros. You?"
>A: "Wait. Monster Hunter is that?"
>J: "I-...you know I've played so many I can barely tell."
>You hear someone yell in the background "WAZZAAAAA!"
>Jackie responds with the same weird cry.
>A: "Yo, who was that?"
>J: "Dude! Pick up your phone and call me!"
>Some rustling comes over the line
>JA: "City Mourge."
>It's Janna
>Using a cheesy phone operator voice
>J: "WAZZZAAAAA-"
>Jackie's doing that thing again

Do you meme with them?

Y/N?
>>
>>1462609
Do it
>>
>>1462609
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
>>
>>1462609
Deploy memes
>>
>>1462609
Of fucking course.

What do you take us for, some kind of poser?
>>
>>1462609
Meme supreme so hard you scream.
>>
>>1462609
We meme and plot to make $100 so that we can get our sax back

Also KEK OUR DAD BOUGHT OUR BIKE FOR $35.

We need to befriend this pawnshop guy and get our dad banned.
>>
>>1462609
Y.
>>
>>1462609
Why the fuck not? Join that shit.

Do kids actually do this
>>
>>1462609
It's no skin off of our back to use a dead meme, so I guess we participate.
>>
>>1462609
Do it.
>>
>>1462609
>Unleash tactical meme nukes on her sorry ass.
>>
>>1462609
Is this even a question?
Of course we meme.
I don't understand?
>>
>>1462634
Maybe a few years ago but I haven't seen any kids do it anymore. Just like that YOLO phase
>>
>>1462609
Bruh, it's two cute chicks talking to you and wanting to "WAZUUP" with ya.

And you fucking ask if we should or shouldn't have fun with them?

Fucking do it, Anon.

Try to add Hekapoo in the call too and ask her WAZUUP
>>
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>>1462609
MEME
>>
>>1462609
Y.
>>
>>1462621
>>1462622
>>1462626
>>1462627
>>1462627
>>1462628
>>1462633
>>1462632
>>1462634
>>1462636
>>1462640
>>1462644

>You rear back
>A: "WUUHHZAAAAAAAA~"
>Your noise blends with theirs
>It's awful and pretty dank
>After it dies down you share a short laugh
>Ja: "So what's good, Aye-non?"
>A: "Hold up. When did you get a phone."
>Ja: "I didn't."
>J: "She stole a Laptop."
>Ja: "It was on a Flasher's lap in the park. Haha! Ack! -cough- wheeeeeze!"
>A: "You ok?"
>While Janna explains how she thinks sleeping in park is starting to affect her Miner's lung you dial in even more support
>Justin
>He answers on ring 1
>Ju: "Hello?"
>A: "Wuzzuuuuhhhh
>Ja: "AAAA-haehcK-"
>J: "Eeeehhhhh"
>Justin doesn't even hesitate
>JU: "WUSUHHHHHHH!!!"
>Everyone is cracking the shit out of their speakers and mics
>Eventually it calms down
>JU: "Uhhhh dude. So what's good?"
>A: "I gotta make $100 in the next 12 hours."
>Ja: "Did you get on ice?"
>A: "What is ice and no I'm not on it I don't even like it in my drinks."
>JU: "Why not?"
>A: "It's a Jewish conspiracy to rob me of more Soda."
>Ja: "Do Jews own soda?"
>J: "I thought jews owned Hollywood."
>???: "Nah brahs Jews RUN Hollywood but it's owned by Reptiles."
>A: "Who was that?"
>O: "WASSHAAAAAAAAA-"
>It's Oskarr
>JU: "EEHHHHHHH"
>J: "AAAHAHAHAAAA!"
>Ja: "AAauuUAAA -hack-"
>You've never shitposted live before
>It's even more fun
>Sort of
>A: "AAAaaaauu but forreal tho you guys got any ideas?"
>JU: "You could mow lawns! Hng! 33! 34!"
>A: "Why are you lifting right now?"
>JU: "Why aren't you?"
>Bro-blocked
>Ja: "You could always join an underground pit fighting arena. I bet you'd clean up with your Masturbatin' Hand powers."
>J: "What if you and Oskarr played some tunes on the boardwalk?"
>O: "All of my stuff's in concept album stage. I'm not ready to spread my message to masses."
>A: "What's your message?"
>O: "Mostly about drugs."
>Reasonable
>JU: "55! 56!"
>Ja: "He is actually about that life, huh? Oh! I know what you can do! There's a scrap yard near the downtown park! -ack!- Hweee could head down there and chunk cars."
>O: "You could head down to Gold's Gym. Challenge large class humanoids to arm wrestling contests. You get at least three or four before they realized it was a hustle."
>Whoah
>A: "Did you just?"
>Ja: "Hoh my god the Savant side of brain just kicked on! Haha! Ow! My throat!"
>J: "That's what she said."
>Ja: "Am I the 'she?'"
>JU: "Somebody's gotta be."


>You've been given some notions
>Most of them weird or bad
>Except Oskarr's
>That was weirdly good
>You slice open the air as you consider, popping out back home
>There are cops
>So. Many. Cops.
>All at your neighbor's house
>Thank the dark lords nobody saw you
>>
>>1462781
>Arm wrestle hustle. Alternatively charge people $20 bucks for five minutes on top of mount Everest.
>>
>>1462781
Maybe we should ask mom if Jana can stay at our place, that cough doesn't sound good.
>>
>>1462781
WE GOTTA FIGHT. FOR OUR RIGHT. TO PARRRRRRRTYYYYYY

Yeah, it's fight club time son
>>
>>1462781
I agree with Janna, let's go fight in some underground fighting rings. Not only can we make a quick buck, but we'll up our stats too.
>>
>>1462781
I don't trust our luck with dice rolls for arm wrestling.

For now, let's go inside and ask mom what all the cops are about (even though we already know).
>>
>>1462781
I like the car scraping plan
Sounda like it could train our STR stat
>>
>>1462781
As much as joining a fight club sounds fun, I really doubt they'd let a 14 year old in.

The arm wrestling thing sounds like a good first stop; let's check that.
>>
>>1462781
Might as well try the scrap yard.
Besides, maybe we'll figure out how to fix Janna's lung problem there (presuming 'Hweeee' means we).
>>
>>1462826
I think they'd let us in after we flex our muscles and Muscles.
>>
>>1462781
Car Splat
>>
>>1462781
Voting for fight club.
>>
>>1462781
Ensure that Zombella is clear of any search that may occur

Begin operation GAINZ, and scam /fit/
>>
>>1462781
ASK YER MOM WHY THE COPPERS BE IN THER
>>
>>1462781
I'm kind of interested in scavenging the junkyard.

If only because those places are a goddamn goldmine even in the regular muggle world, and fuck knows what sort of bullshit we'd find in this cartooniverse.
>>
>>1463076
Neighbour was a crack dealer who died and then we sort of splattered his remains hard.
>>
>>1463420
Yeah I know. And Anon knows too.

But the cops don't know that we know.
Better to make sure our cover is ready.
>>
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THE VOTES ARE IN!

>Arm Wrestle Hustle
2 votes

>FITE ME IRL CLUB
3 votes...

>Scrap yard
3 votes...


A TIE!
A BLESSED TIE!

SPECIAL EVENT

>A: "I wouldn't even know where to start with a fight club. Also, don't you need to be 18 just to get into the Scrap yard?"
>Janna is already in on you and your situation
>Ja: "Not if you sneak in."
>A: "I-"
>Ja: "To join Trash-Mania."
>A: "Trash Wa-"
>Ja: "Echo Creek's manic for trash, Anon."
>A: "What i-"
>Ja: "Meet me at the park."
>You look just down the street
>There's the Park
>You have a minute
>Before Trash...Mania?
>Whatever that is
>You run inside
>Mom's hands are shaking
>A: "Mom, you ok?"
>M: "Yeah."
>A: "You sure?"
>Mom's sitting next to a trashcan full of fucking beer bottles
>Oh no
>You've seen this
>A: "Detox?"
>She smiles meekly
>M: "Yah."
>A: "What's the count so far?"
>M: "Day four, sweetie."
>She takes a swig of black coffee
>M: "That's my record this year."
>She's done this so many times
>You've never seen it be any different
>She makes it a week
>Maybe more
>Before the withdrawl headaches make her need to go back

cont
>>
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>>1463504

>She won't get checked in anywhere
>Last time she did that Dad nearly killed you
>Not to mention no bills got paid
>SKRRRR!
>D: "Alli! Allison!"
>Dad
>Of all the fucking times
>You see him practically jump out of his car
>That's when he gets stiff-armed
>By Ron
>Who's standing in front of him in full uniform
>Gun
>Badge
>Even the hat
>He's questioning him
>Dad keeps looking from Ron to you and your mom
>He can see you guys through the window
>He tries to sidestep Ron
>You hear him shout something about 'A motherfucking warrant.'
>Another cop grabs him
>Holy Shit
>Ron waves that cop off and Dad's getting stuffed
>A: "Holy shit!"
>M: "Anon."
>Dad's being cuffed
>No way
>No fucking way
>Ron comes up to the house
>Rings the doorbell
>The conversation he and mom have is the most close to the vest thing you've ever seen
>R: "Mom. I'm sorry but we need to detain your husband for a couple of days due to suspicious activity in a crimescene and public intoxication. Do you have any questions for me? Do you want to give me his lawyer's number?"
>M: "I-"
>R: "Very good man he'll have to wait for the public defenders then."
>He winks
>R: "See you Friday."
>Smooth
>He turns to you
>Nods
>You nod reflexively
>Mom's looking at you like you're smuggling warheads
>M: "Anon what wa-"
>A: "Hey, Mom I got this party I gotta go to and since you're sleeping around I figure we're even on asking questions, aight?"
>Mama mad
>M: "Young man you can NO-"
>You're already gone
>Up the stairs
>You grab some emergency supplies
>Bandaids
>Neosporin
>Some bottled water
>You've made a shit medkit

>You're still in your house

What do before leaving to meet Janna?
>>
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>>1463511
>Mom. I'm sorry but we need to detain your
>Mom
Damn, he's gonna be our new brother too?
>>
>>1463511
Should we quickly check on Zombella?
>>
>>1463511
Do we have any gloves? If so, grab them. A flashlight might be useful too.
>>
>>1463511
Sneaky like check on Susan! If she's fine, bring her with us to the party, she'll be our hype man.
>>
>>1463511
Huh, I guess Ron's cool after all.

Let's check up on Zombina, probably take her with us. She's been cooped up in that closet all day, poor girl.
>>
>>1463511
Check out on Zombella/Zombina/Skella/Necrophilia.

Use your scissors.

Make sure she stays low.
>>
>>1463511
Check on Zombina before heading out.
>>
>>1463546
>Huh, I guess Ron's cool after all.
He just got to arrest the man who's wife he's fucking.
Probably into Netorare. Sick bastard.
>>
>>1463511
We need some blood to heal ourselves if we get fucked.

Can we check a butcher? Maybe they got a disposal for the stuff we can bottle.
>>
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>>1463511
>>R: "Mom. I'm sorry but we need to detain your husband for a couple of days due to suspicious activity in a crimescene and public intoxication. Do you have any questions for me? Do you want to give me his lawyer's number?"
>>
>>1463511
>R: "Mom. I'm sorry but we need to detain your husband for a couple of days due to suspicious activity in a crimescene and public intoxication. Do you have any questions for me?

Mom and ron do kinky roleplaying confirmed.
>>
>>1463575
this is a good plan.
>>
>>1463575
>>1463600
From what I remember using BfB between different species is a bad idea.
>>
>>1463624
Isn't that if we fuck up the roll?
>>
>>1463630
always plan for the worst.
>>
>>1463630
No. Mutations would occur no matter the species if we fucked up the roll, but that was before we trained with H-Poo.

https://pastebin.com/UHYYajzX (embed)
>BLOOD FOR BLOOD
>Using his WILL Anon can transfer health from a willing participant, himself or an enemy into himself or others
>FAILED ROLLS NO LONGER RESULT IN MUTATIONS
>USING DIFFERENT SPECIES CAN HAVE UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES
>>
>>1463624
We've been feeding off of blood from bugs and we're alright.

Getting some blood vials for ourselves as emergency rations is our best course of action in any thing we have Anon do, so we wont faff about looking for something to feed off of.
>>
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>>1463662
>Blood vials

Oh shit son, we hunters now.
>>
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>>1463540
>>1463542
>>1463543
>>1463546
>>1463587

>Before jogging out you make a sneaky portal in your room
>Right into the sewer outside
>Where you left your zombie
>She's just standing there
>Right beneath the manhole cover
>Her one eye gazing emptily out into the inky blackness that surrounds her on all sides
>Only when your mind becomes present to her does she seem to respond to any stimulus
>She turns, smiling
>A roach crawls from inside her lips and out across her face
>Z: "Masta..."
>She's still naked
>A: "Man. I am gonna grow some fetishes from this."
>You toss her some of your older clothes
>A pair of boy-shorts
>A shirt that reads "Stinker" that due to fact it was meant for an 8 yearl old barely covers her tiddies and goes down half her stomach
>You now have a cutsey dressed tom-boy zombie
>A: "Dammit! More fetishes!"
>You warp out real quick
>Landing at the entrance to the park
>Fumbling about in the dark you pull out your phone and activate it's flashlight feature
>You don't see anybody
>A: "Hello? Janna?"
>That's when you get tackled
>Ja: "AYYYYYY-"
>A: "AAAAAA!"
>Zombella fucking suplexes Janna

>A: "...Holy shit are you ok?"
>Ja: "I had that comin. I violated the NAP."
>A: "The what?"
>Ja: "Don't worry about it. Who's your friend?"
>Zombina is trying to look tough
>She's not far off from being able to, what with her height
>In the boyshorts and crop top however it's a hard sell
>A: "She's my uhhhhhhhhhhhh- "

Tell Janna about your ZOMBIE?

Y/N

How do you explain her?
>>
>>1463717
Yes
Just say you resurrected a body, she'll think it's awesome regardless
>>
>>1463717
>Tell Janna about your ZOMBIE?

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
ALL OF THE YES
Tell her you picked her up in Mewni
>>
>>1463717
>Yes tell her
Fought a werewolf in Australia, exploded, fell into up in another world, raised a zombie, came home. You know, regular Tuesday night.
>>
>>1463717
Yes.
>"She's my zombie minion. Pretty cool huh?"
We've already shown Janna we know dark magic, so it's cool to tell her.
>>
>>1463717
Yeah fuck yeah, tell Janna
>>
>>1463743
>Yes.
Tell her about how the whole night went down, from the Werewolf attack to the whole shindig with Zombella.
>>
>"She's my zombie minion. Pretty cool huh?"
We dun give a fuuuuccccckkkk.
>>
>>1463717
Tell her. And offer to try and heal that lung of hers after the fight.
>>
>>1463717
>Chinese Forsaken

Weak sauce. But yeah, tell her.
>>
>>1463773
This, we must heal the waifu
>>
>>1463754
>>1463717
Tell her this.

Give her a rundown on what our immediate plans are.
Janna is sure to be a useful addition to our team in the long run.
>>
>>1463717
>Yes
Tell her about our average Tuesday night.
>>
>>1463717
>>1463769
Also supporting >>1463773
>>
>>1463717
Y. She's a zombie. Pretty hard core.
>>
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>>1463717
>>1463811
>>1463773
>>1463772
>>1463762
>>1463754

>With overwhelming Yes


>You help Janna up
>She immediately starts coughing
>You're not sure if she should be out this late
>She waves you off and insists you explain this green-skinned washboard cyclops with you
>A: "Well, you know how you're always joking about being my minion?"
>Ja: "Those aren't jokes but sure."
>A: "Well, Zombona here IS my minion."
>Janna stares at you with an expression you can't read
>A: "Forreal."
>You reach over and pull the Zombies arm off
>A: "She's a a member of the living dead."
>The arm waves
>A: "Forillies."
>Janna puts both hands on your shoulders
>Takes a deep breath
>Ja: "Do you want to make this money or not?"
>A: "What?"
>Ja: "Where do you think I'm from?"
>A: "What?"
>Ja: "I've never heard of that place. Do they speak English in 'what?'"
>A: "Hol up!"
>You strike a pose
>A: "There's no way you can be ok with this. Or have known about any of it!"
>Ja: "I knew about magic when I was 6."
>A: "I fought a werewolf, Janna."
>Ja: Didn't you believe in magic when you were six."
>A: "It said I raped it."
>Ja: "I dunno why people act like it's not real."
>A: "I didn't."
>Janna grabs your face
>Ja: "You don't gotta worry about me, dude. I'm tough. Tougher than anybody else our age. It's gonna take a lot more than some blood magic, a dead girl and Furry Rape allegations to scare me off."
>She bites your nose
>Just enough to elicit a yelp
>Ja: "Promise."
>Zombina is pacing like a caged Lion
>She has no idea how to interpret flirtatious biting
>Hope she doesn't copy it
>Janna leads your little ragtag group down to the Junkyard
>She knows a secret way in
>Using the rain drains
>She hacks and wheezes the whole way there
>You notice she doesn't look like she's moving too fast either
>When you emerge, lights blind you from every direction
>Once your sight clears...

https://youtu.be/VOvDTCbcHe0

>Floodlights loom from towers of scrapped cars
>There's hundreds of people here
>Homeless
>Kids
>Crackheads
>Tough guys
>All surrounding a pit lined with 12 foot high barbed wire
>You see a man hurl what looks like an armored set of elementary school kids over his head
>They land in a pile of windshields
>Oh, thank goodness they weren't children just three midgets in a trash mech
>Wait
>A: "What is this!?"
>Ja: "Our mealticket, fool!"
>The announcer comes on over the jerry rigged PA of car steroes

>A: "LAYYYDEEEEEZ AND GENTLEMEN! DEGENERATES OF ALL AGES!"

>A: "WELCOME."
>A: "TO."
>Janna, and every person in the stadium screams along with the coconut oil smooth voice as that huge guy starts elbow-dropping the height challenged guys into the glass
>A: "T-T-TRAAAAAAASSSSH MAAAAANIAAAAA!!!"

>You are Anonymous
>Wizard Punch Man
>Hard up for cash
>You're about to have one of the most intense nights of your life
>Rolling trash with violent adults
>What is your life?


SESSION END!
>>
>>1463773
Pretty good idea, not sure how well that'll work out though if we don't have human bits. I'd say offer to do it, AFTER learning more healing magic or refining it.

Seems like not human bits can mutate the healed stuff. Don't want her basically having air balloons for lungs now do we?
>>
>>1463962
This is great, I love everything that has led up to this. Thanks for running Quest!
>>
You know... What if we just offered Janna a place to stay? We know she sleeps outside now thanks to Jackie. It's not like we're hard pressed on space and it TOTALLY wouldn't lead to awkward moments in the future right?
>>
>>1463962
>>You're about to have one of the most intense nights of your life
>After the fateful night with Ludo and Mom
Suuuuuure Quest, suuuuuuure..... Still hurts....
>>
>>1464006
Oh hell yeah, after this we should bring her back to our place for a party when we STOMP THESE PEOPLES FACES IN! YEAH!
>>
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>>1463962
>>1463962

OH YEAH! TUNE IN FOR THE NEXT SESSION OF OB-SESSION!

FOR THE RAGE IN THE CAGE!
A-NON THE PHE-NOM MAKES HIS TRASH MANIA DEBUT AGAINST NONE OTHER THAN THE DENIZENS OF THE REFUSE JUNGLE!

TUESDAY AT 5:30 PM U.S. CENTRAL TIME!
IT'S GYUNNA BE A BEELUD BAYUTH!
>>
If we're gonna be a part of Trash Mania, we're gonna need a name and a theme.

I vote Meat Truck.
>>
>>1465536
I vote for Anonymous.
They'll be none the wiser.
>>
>>1465546
That's so stupid I love it.
>>
>>1465536
i vote jaque-off
>>
Jesus, I'm gone for a couple weeks due to work and when I return, a whole new thread and all of this! Shit, you fellas been busy.
>>
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>>1465536
Voting for Human Tricep.
>>
>>1465546
Anonymous, we also need a green man suit along with the formal business wear.
>>
>>1467365
I like this
>>
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So a thought occurred to me and I'm not sure if anyone has brought it up but both our mud brother and the pawn shop owner had jazz music in their heads and both are connected to our sax.

Is the power of jazz trying to reach out to us?
Is Mother actual the Goddess of Jazz?

Or is our wand in the future sending waves through time?
>>
>>1467673
I don't know about that, but I do know that when we get our sax wand that were going to need a transformation or shrinking spell on it, we can't possibly have the wand on us at all times without these.
>>
Why don't we try to heal Janna?
>>
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>>1465981
When u generate 5000 posts in a week and the overwhelming reply is "shit that's a lot" followed my "MOAR PLS"
>>
>>1467702
I fucking guarantee that a shrinking spell would be abused for shenanigans. All the shrinking man / shrinking woman / giant / giantess fetishists will show up for their fetish-related autism.
>>
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>>1467899
>>
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>>1465546
>>1467365

It's stupid enough that it might just work.
>>
>>1467812
We will, probably after the fight though.

Can't fight well after using BfB on her.
>>
1 minute late REEEEE
>>
SESSION START!

https://youtu.be/OKGJOtRaqMg

>You were Anon
>Now you are ANONYMOUS mysterious trash dump wrestling newcomer
>You came up with it on the spot
>Janna was impressed until you told her about your costume with the fedora and lapel buttons
>Then she judged you harshly, disapproving of all that encompasses your being
>How did this happen?
>You needed cash
>Janna said she knew a place you could get some
>Fast
>Now, here you in a pit surrounded by wrecked cars and a screaming crowd
>Wearing...something on your face
>Where did you get this mask?
>J: "It's one of my socks! I cut you some eyeholes!"
>A: "Th-thanks..."
>That explains the enchanted aroma of boot
>Spotlights found you both just after Janna emerged from the tunnels beneath the old Junkyard
>She masked you and ran off to the coach's corner with Zombene
>Your undead servant
>The announcer blares his silky voice over the PA system which is wired into the many forgotten vehicles
>ANN: "What is this!? WHAT IS THIS!? A newcomer to Trash Mania!? AN UN-WELCOME INTRUDER MORE LIKE!"
>The crowd boos
>A hotdog sails past your ear
>Popcorn rains above
>This injustice cannot stand
>You stick up your chest and walk out to the center of the ring
>Muscles snatches the mic from the man in Pinstripe gold and purple pants
>A: "Alright, listen up!"
>Funny enough, since you have a microphone and mask the crowd actually listens up
>A: "Uh...I- I'm the MYSTERIOUS CHALLENGER! From uh..."
>The announcer leans down, whispering
>ANN: "Parts unknown."
>A: "Yeah! FROM UNKNOWN PARTS! WHERE IDENTITY...is uh...THE ENEMY!"
>You leap up onto a pile of partly melted tires
>A: "I am...ANONYMOUS! THE UNKNOWABLE! Anybody in this ring with a name and a title is on my hitlist!"
>The announcer practically looks like Darth Vader as he slowly nods along with your improvised backstory
>He does however, take his mic back
>Pushing you into the tire pile
>ANN: "Impressive, Anonymous...but you STILL need to work your way up the ranks if it's the title that you want!"
>He does a flip
>Dang
>Onto a throne made out of crushed cans and twisted up plastic bottles
>ANN: "Trash Mania has bylaws! Ancient traditions that keep the powers of Garbage in check! Rule 1! No weapons!"
>The crowd looks confused at that remark
>ANN: "EXCEPT FOR THE TRASH YOU PICK UP WITH YOUR BARE HAAAAAANNNNDS!"
>Ok, they're eating it up again
>ANN: "Rule 2! No breaks. No rounds. NO MERCY!!! THE FIGHT ENDS WHEN YOU CAN'T GET OFF THE DIRT!"
>Somebody's panties just landed on this guy's shoulder
>Janna throws her other sock
>You can tell it's hers because it smells the damn same and got into your open mouth
>Even your Constitution nearly heaves from the shock
>A: "Why!?"
>J: "My feet are sweaty this is more comfortable!"
>ANN: "The only other rule...is CHAOS! THE RULE OF MADNESS REIGNS! KICK! PUNCH! BITE! CLAW! MAUUUUULLLL! ARRRRE YOU REAADDDYYY!?"
>A: "Well, after hearing all that I'm not sure at all if I cam prepared for th-"
>ANN: "THEN IT BEGINS!"

cont
>>
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>>1468640

>Smoke billows out from a felled Dumptruck
>A set of double doors, leading to some kind black portal fly open
>Red and pink lights dazzle your vision
>Which is when the floodlights turn into bloodlights
>Because they're red

>ANN: "ANONYMOUS THE UNKNOWN! TRASH-MANIA BABYFACE! WISHES TO TAKE DOWN THE FACES OF THE TMWF! WELL, LET'S GIVE HIM A SHOT! WITH THE SCARIEST FACE OF THEM ALL!"

>Music beings to thunder in from all sides
https://youtu.be/4v1zuIYNoFw
>ANN: "HERE HE COMES! FROM UNDER YOUR BED! FROM INSIDE YOUR MOTHER'S CLOSET AND YOUR WORST LIVING NIGHTMARES! GIVE IT UP FOR THE MAIN MONSTER!"
>A humongous man, covered in warpaint and piercings emerges from the scarlet smoke
>His tongue reaches his fucking belly button
>A: "Euch!"
>J: "Das hot."
>A: "Quiet, you!"

>ANN: "THHHEEE ONE! THE ONLY!"
>A: "Can you even speak with that?"
>ANN: "WOOGEY MAAAAAAN!"

>Anymous is immediately pulled into a trance by his opponents dance-like moves
>Bones and piercings rattle across his body
>He wiggles his fingers
>Says magic words

>W: "Hoodba dooba jubba wubs! EEga mana wana Deega SHAWEEEHA!"

>Then punches you in the face

>Anonymous takes 6 Damage!
>Woogey has gotten the advantage of CHEAP SHOT

WHAT DO!?
>>
>>1468656
Pick up a spoiler and turn this guy into mush.
>>
>>1468656
Piercings!? Those look stupid, let's use them to our advantage! Grab him by his piercings and slam him into the ground!
>>
>>1468656
Punch him in the dick with muscles
>>
>>1468640
Pick up heavy trash and whack him with it using Muscles.
>>
>>1468667
>>1468656
Punch his dick!
>>
>>1468670
Hit is dick WITH heavy trash / a spoiler!
>>
>>1468656
Punch his dick with some trash!
>>
>>1468664
This
>>
>>1468656
Flip his shit.
>>
>>1468656
Grab him by the dick and body slam him.
>>
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Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>1468663
>>1468667
>>1468670
>>1468672
>>1468678
>>1468680


>You rub your nose
>It isn't even bleeding
>You've literally had spankings harder than this
>What does that about your spankings?
>A: "Nice shot."
>You snap out your monster arm
>Muscles is ready
>This combat has woken him up
>Readied him
>You yank an entire muffler off one of the nearby cars
>The crowd oos and Aas but never stops screaming for blood
>A: "My turn."

ROLL STRENGTH!
>>
>>1468656
Punch his dick off!
>>
Rolled 3 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468696
>FOCK IM OP!!!
>>
Rolled 19 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468696
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>1468696
>>
Rolled 16 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468696
PUNCH!
>>
Rolled 18 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468696
>>
Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468696
Go full Kiryu on his ass.
>>
Rolled 13 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468696
Muscles,let me remind you this is a non lethal fight.
>>
Rolled 17 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468696
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>1468696
gogogo
>>
>>1468704
16+8 = 24

Good shit
>>
Rolled 2 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468696
>>
>>1468704
Woogey 'bout to get smacked.
>>
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>>1468704
WINNER

>16 + 8 = 24 total

>Anonymous deals...
>12 DAMAGE

>WHARK!
>You warp the Muffler around Woogey's weird, painted face
>He is sent off his feet
>He starts crawling away
>You pursue, trying to catch him somewhere soft and vulnerable
>It looks like you're smacking a roach that crawled across your counter
>A: "Get! BAck! Here! You weird! gross! Adult!"
>That's when Woogey throws his hands up
>The music changes
>So do the lights
>They turn purple

https://youtu.be/lkqSUQCetEs?list=RDGMEMJQXQAmqrnmK1SEjY_rKBGAVMlkqSUQCetEs

>W: "My curse! I call upon!"
>A: "Wha-"
>W: "YOUR DARKEST FEARS! YOUR DEEPEST APPREHENSIONS! THEY-A COMIN FOR YOU!"
>He coughs
>His fucking mouth is full of worms

>ANN: "Anonymous is trouble now! WOOGEY IS USING HIS POWER OF FEAR!

>Fear
>Hah
>These hoes don't know
>You've tasted death
>You've beaten monsters that would curdle the minds of even great warriors
>Here you stand

>You feel no fear

>ANONYMOUS GET AN EXTRA ATTACK AND A ONE-LINER!

WHAT DO!?
>>
>>1468729
"I *AM* THE FEAR!"

Swing for the fences.
>>
>>1468729
Give him one more good smack to knock him out

"I've seen butterflies scarier than you."
>>
>>1468729
>"I call this one, THE POSTAL SUPLEX!!!"
>>
>>1468729
> "I am fear" SMASH HIM
>>
>>1468729
>>1468736
I like this one alot
>>
>>1468736
Supporting. Because it's true.
>>
>>1468736
I guess i souport this
>>
>>1468736
This
>>
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Rolled 14 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468729
>You should have just gotten back up.
>Drop the hammer (nonlethally)
>>
>>1468736
Supporting this.
>>
>>1468729
"I've seen my own arm get torn from my body. What could you possibly do to frighten me, worm?"

Grab him and throw him. Hard.
>>
>>1468736
>inb4 this somehow makes us spontaneously fall under his spell because something about saying this makes us have our mind be assaulted by a spontaneous fear for Star Butterfly
>>
>>1468729
Hope you're having a good night so far Quest!
>>1468736
Sounds great. Supporting.
>>
>>1468757
Nah man, we have the STEEL WILL perk
>IMMUNE TO FEAR
is just one of the advantages of it.
>>
>>1468762
I know.
>>
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>>1468736
>>1468740
>>1468741
>>1468745
>>1468737
>>1468754
>>1468752
>>1468761

>Woogey is really trying to sell this
>He even flips out part of his costume to make mirrors
>The music gets louder
>You say nothing
>The lights flicker
>Screams begin to go off in the crowd as this guy's "Powers" apparently grip the audience
>You do nothing
>He throws out his hands one last time, shaking the metal rods and chains that cover him
>W: "WOOOSHAAAA-"
>A: "Yeah, Nawr Cunt."
>W: "Wh-"
>A: "I'M FUCKIN' RIPPED CUNT!"
>You nod to Muscles
>He corkscrews himself
>A: "Never been to the Outback, Aye? Neva seen a Jumpin' -Moon- Moth eh? Rip yer shite, M8."
>Woogey is left astounded
>The announcer doesn't know what to say
>You get Woogey's face, looking like the Grim Reaper if he was 14 and still checked his shoes for spiders every morning
>A: "There's a little blonde girl at my school with more scary shit to her than you...and I'm still ready to square up with her."
>W: "Who-"
>A: "GET DESTROYED! STAY DESTROYED! I AM ANONYMOUS! I AM NO-ONE! AND NOBODY IS NEVER AFRAID!"

ROLL STRENGTH!
THEN CHARISMA!
>>
Rolled 19, 6 = 25 (2d20)

>>1468778
Should have just done the Suplex.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>1468778
the DICE I ALWAYS FORGET!
>>
Rolled 18, 2 = 20 (2d20)

>>1468778
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>1468778
>>
Rolled 12, 13 = 25 (2d20)

>>1468778
So the first roll is strength and the second is charisma.
>>
Rolled 19, 16 = 35 (2d20)

>>1468778
>>
Rolled 3, 6 = 9 (2d20)

>>1468778
>>
Rolled 11, 15 = 26 (2d20)

>>1468778
GET SLAMMED!
>>
>>1468778
>>
Rolled 9, 9 = 18 (2d20)

>>1468778
Let the bonus be added after
>>
Rolled 14, 7 = 21 (2d20)

>>1468778
Might as well roll 2 dice

I hope this isn't staged; otherwise we're gonna make 0 money.
>>
Rolled 20, 5 = 25 (2d20)

>>1468797
yahtzee
>>
>>1468798
Not bad with our modifiers.
>>
>>1468804
So would this be a bonus to only STR?
>>
>>1468812
That would make sense to me.
>>
Rolled 6, 7 = 13 (2d20)

>>1468778
Which one will we fail?
>>
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>>1468798
>>1468798

WINNER!
>9 + 8 = 17
>>1468804
+2

>19 total


>Muscles releases his spring-shaped body
>The muffler whirls around your head like the blades of a helicopter
>You leap just before it comes crashing
>WHOH-BLAAAANNNNG!
>Woogey's head has been pounded into the dirt
>His wiggling fingers slowly drop down
>A little bit of worm splattered onto your face
>Whatever
>You toss the Muffler aside, and approach the Announcer
>A: "Is that all you go-"
>W: "NO!"
>Woogey's up
>Looking like dogshit
>He throws a fistful of dirt and broken glass at you
>Ah
>Dick
>W: "THE NIGHTMARE IS NEVER OVE-"
>CRACK!
>He thought that would disorient you
>Naw
>It ain't that easy
>He thought he could cheat you
>No
>Nobody gets to deny you what's yours anymore
>He was weak
>Which is why you bashed him in the head with an oversized alarm clock while he was gloating
>A: "All about -time- ing, fucker."


>>1468798
>12 total charisma

>Janna cackles
>Some people who like puns embarassedly laugh
>A slow clap takes over the Stadium
>ANN: "Well, ladies and gentlemen...it looks our newcomer IS READY FOR ROUND TWO!"
>A: "Wha-"
>ANN: You said ANYONE with a name was your enemy in this ring. Well. TMWF IS THE DEEPEST ORGANIZATION IN ALL OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA! OUR ROSTER IS UNSTOPPABLE! OUR RESOLVE UNBEATABLE!"
>He pulls out a cane, does a trick with it
>ANN: "Our style. Unquestionable."
>Oh, fuck off
>He points back to the stage door
>ANN: "I'M GLAD YOU LIKE JOKES, ANONYMOUS!"

cont
>>
Rolled 16, 19 = 35 (2d20)

>>1468778
Please don't fuck this up!
>>
>>1468834
SHEIT MAN, WE FIGHTING A FUNNY MAN

EXPECT MORE CHEAP SHOT TRICKS AND OBNOXIOUS LAUGHING
>>
>>1468834
Stay alert, these guys like dirty tricks and there's a good chance you'll get jumped immediately.
>>
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>>1468834
>>1468834

>Balloons?
>Whowr, they're balloon ANIMALS
>Raining from the top of the stadium
>Hundreds
>Of all different kinds
>Octopi
>Dogs
>You think you see a Moose
>This must have taken hours to set up
>Some are popping on trash and people's $35 beer coozies

>ANN: "HERE COMES FROM THE TOONIEST TOWN! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IT'S OUR OWN DIABOLICAL DEALER OF DUPES! THE DUKE OF JUKES!"

https://youtu.be/JeyKMeztQiU

>Out steps something that actually makes you nervous
>An 11 foot high...
>Chuckling
>Flower wielding
>Clown

>ANN: "STRETCH-0-MUNGUS!"

>S: "Hey there, little fella! What's your name!?"
>A: "I have no name. I'm nobody!"
>S: "Original! Say, do you like Pie?"
>A: "Do I like pi-"
>J: "HE LOVES CREAMPIES I KNOW I READ HIS JOURNAL!"
>A: "I don't HAVE a Journal!"
>SPUH-LAT!
>Anonymous has been creamed
>You are currently blinded but shake it off quickly
>The crowd is fucking rolling
>J: "You have one in my fanfiction! It functions as a Death Note too so it kills your memories slowly!"
>A: "That's actually pretty messed up."

>What do?
>>
>>1468834
ITS GONNA BE A FUCKING CLOWN
>>
>>1468860
Nutshot
>>
>>1468861
IT IS A FUCKING CLOWN

Also Janna has fanfiction of us WTF
>>
>>1468860
Hit him in the dick
>>
>>1468860
Sweep the funny muffler into his legs; knock him down.
>>
>>1468860
Break his legs then beat him with them.

Ask why he keeps hitting himself.
>>
>>1468860
Read his mind and ruin all his joke before he says them.
Also use it to fuck him up.
>>
>>1468860
Look at this fucking clown.

Throw him a pitty laugh before you shove one of his stilts up his ass.
>>
>>1468860
Fuckin' pants him and then punch him in the butt to knock him over. I would say kick, but we don't have a monster leg.
>>
>>1468875
Supporting this, if it's possible. Seems like showing him up could do the trick.
>>
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>>1468860
Smack his butt so hard he flies off the stage.
>>
I don't think we're ready to take on Dark Donald
>>
>>1468875
Supporting this as well.
>>
>>1468875
Yeah, do this.

Also, note: Inquire more info about fanfiction from Janna. Unlock secret relationship route.
>>
>>1468875
>>1468877
Fuck my suggestion, THIS ALL THE WAY!
>>
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>>1468894
>secret
The Anonbowl currently sits as J v J with Sabrina being a late runner far behind.
>>
Read his mind and ruin all his joke before he says them.
Then break his face like cardboard. Be sure to pop his nose if he has one.
>>
>>1468903
Yeah, but we're running for gold here. We're getting them all for Anon-boy.

Why else does Anon have such a high Will stat? It's to deal with handling so many women at once.
>>
>>1468903
>Not mentioning the sexy and glorious Heckapoo
>>
>>1468908
No, that's what Constitution is for, you degenerate haremfag.
>>
>>1468903
>Not mentioning the zombie
>>
>>1468912
>Implying Heckapoo is at all interested in us
>>
>>1468917
She will
>>
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>>1468864
>[
>>1468869
>>1468872
>>1468874
>>1468875
>>1468876
>>1468877
>>1468889
>>1468891

>Fuck with his act
SPECIAL EVEN UNLOCKED
>You leer up at this guy
>He has the most Saccharine grin
>A: "Good one. Wanna hear a real joke?"
>Your snake into his head
>S: "I got a great joke for yah, kid. My-"
>A: "Your marriage."

https://youtu.be/a0vliulVKcM

>The crowd chuckles
>A: "I bet your Uncle's Dying Wish was for you to sit in his lap when he got the Electric Chair!"
>Hey, this guys material is pretty good
>S: "W-well hey kid I get no respect! Why, when I let my girlfriend make the first move-"
>A: "She went to Florida!"

https://youtu.be/_yx39tPNob0?t=4

>Thanks, Random guy from the crowd
>Tony was right
>It is all about timing
>Stretch-0 is looking worn thing
>S: "Aight kid! I got a joke for yah! AAAAAAnd it's IMPROV!"
>The crowd Gasps
>Improv
>The deadliest and purest form of all comedy
>S: "My dog just found out that he and I look alike!"

>You feel something coming
>A chance
>Could this be the forces of Comedy?
>In their ultimate form
>Your chest swells with yuks

>ROLL CHARISMA!
>>
>>1468915
Fucking wait until she's a true undead
Faggot.
>>
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1468922
Rollan
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>1468922
>>
Rolled 16 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1468922
FOR MOTHER
>>
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1468922
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>1468922
>>1468922
DICE OF CHOICE
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>1468922
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>1468917
She sorta is

Emphasis on sorta. He did piss her off royally with Muscles, but over the months of training, he's on her good side. For now.

I don't really care about harems, I'm just shitting about. But if it DID happen, I'm not complaining.

>>1468922

Gotta keep your sides to your body, Anon.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>1468922
>>
>>1468922
>>
>>1468939
>a fucking 10
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>1468922
Yuks
>>
File: smirk.png (27 KB, 638x638)
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Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1468922
>>
>>1468939
Man, commedy is hard.
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>
>>1468948
Fuckin Obi-Wan
>>
>>1468922
>Yeah, you look like a bitch to me too.
>>
Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>
Rolled 6 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1468922
ROLLING FOR A CRIT
>>
Rolled 16 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1468922
>>
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1468922
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1468922
Hopefully rolling properly this time, here we go
>>
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>>1468939
WINNER

>10
>+3

>13

>>1468948
-2!

>11 total
>A: "SO WHEN IS HE KILLING HIMSELF!?"
>Whoah
>That was
>Dark
> ???: "Not cool, man."
>Fuck you, random guy in crowd
>Stretch looks like he might cry
>He starts fumbling for a neckerchief in his shirt
>A: "How bout I hit you with this instead?"
>Fuck the nuances of light-heartedness
>You're a wreckin' machine
>Muscles grabs a Volkswagon from out of the dump
>A: "GET IN THE CLOWN CAR, BOZO!"

ROLL STRENGTH!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>1468967
>>1468967

AAAAAA D10s
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>1468967
>>
Rolled 17 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468967
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1468967
Ah hell, we're a cunt.
>>
Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468967
This'll hurt.
>>
Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468967
Anon is turnin into a heel now.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>1468967
No I feel bad.

Ah well, wreck him.
>>
Rolled 13 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468967
>>
Rolled 14 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468967
>>
Rolled 20 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468967
Feel my wrathful curse of 1s.
>>
Rolled 18 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468967
We can save this by making it look cool!
>>
Rolled 11 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

Fuck im up
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>1468967
You can punch all you want
But it won't make them like you
>>
Rolled 14 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468967
All aboard the pain train.
>>
>>1468983
>>
Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468967
AAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 4 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1468967
TIME TO SEE IF I ROLL A NAT 1 AGAIN
>>
Rolled 15 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

Fuck his shit
>>
Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>1468967
>>
Rolled 17 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469011
Motherfucker
>>
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>>1469011
>>1469011

WINNER!

>17

>>1468983

>+2!

>19 total

Just enough

>Stretch is much faster than you expected
>WH-SMASH!
>Your first swing misses entirely
>Whoah
>He does a cartwheel
>On stilts
>Then he whips out that hankerchief
>Then another
>A rope of them!
>He tries to snap your ankles out from under you with them
>S: "Haha! Clowns don't cry! We specialize in turning pain and suffering into entertainment!"
>A: "You're gonna have -great- act after this."
>You sweep the leg
>As if you were the chad in a Karate tournament movie
>Stretch topples
>He's fast
>You're faster today
>In a fit you snatch both his stilts
>S: "Y-y-ou can't do this! I'm a king of the stage! A God!"
>You slap his ass
>S: "AAH!"
>You slap it again!
>S: "NOOOO!"
>You don't relent, crushing his butt with angry spanks as he constantly tries to escape the serpentine grip of Muscles' bicep
>S: "What do you want!?"
>A: "Call me the President!"
>S: "WH-"
>A: "CALL THE ME THE PRESIDENT!"
>S: "AAAAHHH WHICH ONE!?"
>A: "THE BEST ONE!"
>S: "AAAAH I'M SORRY OBAMA I'M SORRY!"
>You hold him up in the air
>A: "Wrong."
>WHAM!
>WHAM!
>You're slapping his body around the arena into every piece of trash you can find
>The bulldozer
>A trash can full of rotten eggs and old fish
>A pile of dirty diapers
>A PALLET of expired Mayonaise
>You draw up upon his trembling form, your eyes portals to the very pits of tartarus
>S: "I-I'm sorry!"
>A: "I could carve from a Tendy a clown with more backbone than you."
>You take his nose
>Take a fucking bite from it
>Spit it in his face
>A: "Honk honk."
>WHAM!
>S: " https://youtu.be/MUL5w91dzbo "
>When you hit him that last time his suit puffed up like a giant air-bag
>It clearly saved his skeleton from certain doom
>It also, made him light enough to be sent
>J: "Outta the fuckin' park! PUT THE WHEELS ON THE BUS, ANON!"
>Whatever Janna said

>A: "Puny Clown."

>ANN: "Our challenger certainly has some Moxxy to him...doesn't he folks?"

>You turn
>The announcer is lounging on top of a huge box
>It's covered in a ratty tarp and thousands of pounds of chains
>ANN: "How do you think he'll use it against..."

cont
>>
File: M-1.jpg (3.23 MB, 3264x2448)
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>>1469046
>>1469046

>He jumps off
>A voice comes out from the box
>???: "Where's my music?"
>ANN: "Dammit Jerry do you still want that?"
>???: "It's my theme!"
>ANN: "It doesn't fit!"
>???: "Your Pants don't fit and you still wear them!"
>ANN: "Fine! HIT IT, HUGO!"

https://youtu.be/rU8Wc6a1r7o

>You smirk
>What is this campy shit?
>That's when the box fucking explodes

>M: "TIS I! MANTAUR-MAAAAAAANNNN!!!"
>By the might of the Holstein fatasses of Wisconsin
>A: "A furry!?"
>A furry the size of a dump truck
>Here he comes
>Head down like a blue ribbon Spaghetti-O eatin' special Ed kid
>His rubber horns gleam under the lights
>You set your feet
>Muscles bulges up to protect you both

>BLAM!

>You're sent fucking flying
>Over your head
>Into a Limousine
>You tumbled from the back window all the way to the driver seat
>A half-empty bottle of Bacardi bops you in the skull

>Anon has taken 14 damage

>Anon is at 30 HP

>You can hear that dude screaming outside
>He's singing his own theme song
>You just got wrecked
>By a dude who sings his own theme song
>It's not even about a Minotaur...

What do?
>>
>>1469081
dick
punch
>>
>>1469081
Grab him by the horns and start slamming him into shit.
>>
>>1469081
Get out there, pick up that steam roller, and crush him!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kIaqZh_gGz4
>>
>>1469081
BfB
>>
>>1469090
This
>>
>>1469081
"I call this one, The Rich Man's Suplex!"
>Suplex him into the Limo
>>
>>1469081
Find something sticky

Use it to mess up the suit to reduce opponents mobility.

Disadvantages of being hairy
>>
>>1469081
BLOOD FOR BLOOD
regain health
Boost our Will stat
Show the crowd the power of a real magic beast
>>
>>1469081
Throw the Limo onto him
>>
Get out there, pick up that steam roller, and crush him!
>>
>>1469108
We aren't using obvious magic on them.

Let alone pulling the blood out of a unhygienic furry
>>
>>1469081
>>1469102
>>1469123
Fiiiine, I support the Steam Roller.
>>
>>1469081
Whatever physical attack we do make sure that we use BfB with it.
>>
>>1469133
If we can sneak it, sure.

But there's a ritual verbal component to the spell that'll be hard to hide

Also we are SPEEDING through season 1. Marco already has a monster arm
>>
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>>1469090
>>1469123
>>1469097

>M: "JUST LIKE THE MIGHTY HYDRA! I WILL TURN YOU TO STONE WITH MY MIGHTY FISTS OF POWAH!"
>You crawl out of the limo, tossing aside thankfully long forgotten condoms and blunt needles
>You leap from the backwindow
>Muscles snaps behind you, gripping the bumper
>A: "That's historically inaccurate you FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

>ROLL STRENGTH!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>1469148
blessed cie
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>1469148
>>
Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469148
>>
Rolled 1 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469148
ROADO ROLLAH DAAAA!!!
>>
Rolled 15 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469144
Not necessarily.

We aren't even on School Spirit yet, Marco just got his arm sooner because he's feeling insecure about Jackie.
And with good reason.
>>1469148
>>
Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469148
>"SuTEAMu ROLLA DA!!!!"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>1469148
>>
Rolled 15 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469148
>>
Rolled 4 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469148
SMASH!
>>
Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469148
MUERE FURRY
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>1469148
>>
Rolled 14 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469148
>>
Rolled 19 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469148
SHOOT, SMASH, STOMP, CHOP
>>
>>1469148
>>
>>1469167
Fuuuuuuck.
I guess the dice don't like Jojo references.
>>
Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

Please
>>
Rolled 20 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469148
Crit Roll
>>
>>1469148
reeeeee
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1469186
why can't I roll today
>>
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>>1469156
>>
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16 KB
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>>1469167
>>1469167
WINNER!

>4 + 8 = 12 total
>>1469156
-2

>>1469184
+2

>12 total

>Here comes the pain-train
>You're flipping a whole damn Limousine
>This is Nuts
>Just like one of your anime fight scenes
>That's when you realize Man-taur did the one thing someone in his position could do to escape certain death
>He took
>One
>step
>To his left
>BRRAAAAMMM-CRRASSSSHHHH!
>You missed him by a foot
>Maybe less
>He stares at the wreckage of opulence you just hurtled at him
>M: "...HaHA!"

https://youtu.be/Gbra-rKXzk4

>HE'S POSING
>J: "Anon! LOOK OUT!"
>His flex
>His pecs
>He looks...cool?
>No, he's fuckin' lame
>Still lame
>But...his costume looks better
>What is this?
>J: "Anon! Fight it! He's STUNNIN' ON YOUUU!"
>Your mind is swimming
>The Oil
>The fur
>Your body heaves
>You clench your teeth
>Then BREAK FREE!

>A: "You fool! I CAN'T BE CHARMED!"
>M: "What!? NO! NO MERE MORTAL CAN RESIST THE CHARISMA OF MAN-TAUR-MAAAAN!"
>A: "They can if they're like me! ANONYMOUS ONLY ENJOYS HATING THINGS!"
>It's true

What do?
>>
Rolled 17 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469148
>>
>>1469205
Set his costume on fire.
>>
>>1469205
Wait, oil?

Use combust.
>>
>>1469205
BUG SWARM
UNDEAD BUG SWARM
>>
Transform muscles into a shield and fucking ram this fag
>>
>>1469205
Combust
>>
DRAIN HIM DRY.
BfB!
>>
>>1469217
This
>>
>>1469205
Limo Rolla Da: Take 2!
>>
>>1469217
>>1469224
See if we can find a lighter or pretend we have one so we don't come a cross as being crazy magic.
>>
>>1469205
Supporting:
>>1469233
>>
>>1469205
Just stare at him and try to set him on fire with.... COMBUSTION!
>>
>>1469205
Use his charm against him!

Summon a horde of undead insects and roadkill from the trash around you to go swoon over him!
>>
>>1469235
We can just call it one of our "special moves" or some shit, like the FREAKOUT or the Minotaur's charm.

Something like "All this attention is making me... HOT!", snap his fingers, and fire lights his hands and he chucks fire at the guy or something.
>>
>>1469235
Supporting this.
>>
File: M-4.jpg (63 KB, 584x307)
63 KB
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Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>1469212
>>1469217
>>1469224
>>1469232
>>1469235
>>1469246


>Your eyes light with your inner power
>Something in the air becomes supercharged
>You take in the smell of gasoline
>Oil
>Popcorn grease
>Mattress stuffing
>Your focus becomes a lazer point
>Your hand raises
>Pink and black sparks begin to erupt from your mouth
>A: "How do you like your steak!?"
>M: "I DON'T! MAN-TAUR-MAN IS A VEGETARIAN! YET STILL MIGHTY LIKE THE TERRIFYING CHIMERA!!!"
>A: "You deserve this."

>ROLL WISDOM!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1469271
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>1469271
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>1469271
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>1469271
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>1469271
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>1469271
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>1469271
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FJTK_iNA5s
BURN!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>1469271
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>1469271
If my roll wins, I demand we muck up.
>>
>>1469284
OH SHIT TRUE CRIT

I DIDN'T WANNA KILL THE GUY
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>1469271
burn baby burn
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>1469271
>>
STOP ROLLING WE GOT A NAT 20
>>
>>1469284
oh god we killed him
>>
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>>1469284
Oh my god
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>1469284
Rolling for anti crit so guy doesn't die

FROM COLORADO
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>1469271
>>1469296
SHUT UP MOM I DO WHAT I WANT
>>
keep rolling
>>
>>1469303
Too bad my man! True crit's cancel out all negatives! AHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BURN!
>>
>>1469284
RIP in pieces, this two-bit furry is fucked
>>
We are not Dio. We are Kira Yoshikage.
>>
>>1469284
GET FUCKED YOU FURRY BASTARD
>>
>>1469284
Hoo shit boys; we just murdered a man.

>>1469321
I can live with that.
>>
https://youtu.be/5GCSWEgZT94
>>
>>1469333
Even our crits are suffering
>>
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>>1469284
>>1469284
>>1469284

A CRITICALLLLL


>You close your teeth
>Smoke exits your nostrils as black and Pink flames ROCKET FROM YOUR HAND!
>Muscles curls into a fist, punching the ground behind you to create a support
>The flames
>The power
>Your hatred fuels your focus
>It blurrs away the world and makes anything possible
>You
>Are
>The Fire

https://youtu.be/Bwkliy8qEyA

>A: "YOU FUCKING STUPID FURRY FAGGOT BITCH THE CHIMERA HAD THREE HEADS AND TWO OF THEM WERE FUCKING CARNIVORES AND IT ATE MEN FOR BREAKFAST AND BREATHED FIRE JUST LIKE THIS YOU GODDAMN SNOWFLAKE CUNT I BET YOU LIFT TO GET GRILLS YOU NOGAINZ FAKE NATTY FUCKING SLUT-BOI WHO TAKES IT IN THE ASS FROM A CATTLE PROOOOOOOOOOOD!"

>The Flames keep coming
>People are screaming with excitement
>You walk forward
>The steps are near impossible
>Muscles grips his fingers into the dirt to keep you going forward
>He's never seen you like this
>He's proud
>He's proud to be a part of you
>A: "YIFF."
>A screaming
>A: "IN."
>Blazing
>A: "SATAN'S GREASED UP ASSHOLE BOUNCEHOUSE!"
>War machine

>You snatch your hand closed
>The flames stop though pink smoke still curls out of your nose and mouth
>As the black sparkly cloud disappears you see before you
>A beaten
>Little man
>M: "M-...mercy..."
>His costume took most of it
>The fur's burnt to his skin
>His horns are melted
>He may never be able to get out of that suit again
>His face is nearly visible through the collapsed mess that was his mask
>He scrambles around, pulling a shitty cardboard box over his head
>In his last burst of creativity he draws a pathetic Moo-face on it

>ANN: "Unless the challenger knocks his opponent out of the ring, or out of his lights this match is on! WHAT DO YOU WANNA SEE FOLKS? MERCY FOR THE MIGHTY MAN-TAUR-MAN!"
>J: "Anon!"
>You turn
>Janna's leaning over the railing
>She looks worried
>Worried about you
>J: "You don't have to hurt him anymore! Just make him quit!"
>M: "Th-the Man-taur-man cannot...move."

What do?
>>
>>1469347
Throw him out of the ring
>>
>>1469347
Finish him!
>>
>>1469347
Show mercy. We just completely fucking wrecked his shit, no need to push it any further.
>>
>>1469347
Respectfully move him off of the ring.
>>
>>1469347
show mercy, fuck we ain't psychos
>>
>>1469347
Well i guess we should heal him huh.
BfB
Then push him outta the ring.
>>
>>1469347
Repent your sinful ways, EAT THE BEEF REJECT THE YIFF!
>>
>>1469347
Spare him. But don't make it easy. Make him grateful we don't feel like killing him.
>>
>>1469347
Lift him up and drop him over the edge of the ring.
>>
Just trow him out of the ring
>>
>>1469347
>>1469359
You know what?
>>1469362
This.
>>
>>1469347
Move the cowguy thing out of the ring.
>>
>>1469362
Changing vote to this.
>>
>>1469362
NO! WHY?! We still have more fighters after this guy, and we're already low on health! He'll live! He's not near death!
>>
>>1469347
Just get him out of the ring.
>>
>>1469347
Supporting:
>>1469362
>>
>>1469379>>1469383


If we do that he'll think he's getting a second wind then kick our ass while we're weak.
>>
>>1469347
Toss him out, no healing.
We are already hurt, we don't need to be weakened further for the next match
>>
>>1469362
No, this is a stupid move. We're at 30 HP and will most likely lose more until he's out of fighters.

Let's not act stupid; he's not dying in the slightest anyway.
>>
>>1469347
Make him Quit

Not gonna kill a guy for 100 bucks.
>>
PUSH HIM OUTTA THE RING.

END THIS NOW.

NO MORE CHEAP SHOTS.
>>
>>1469362
We can heal him later, right now we are too weak
>>
>>1469395
Just have fire dance on our fingers v until he leaves
>>
>>1469347
We can bfb later,for now just throw him out of the ring.
>>
>>1469390
>>1469404
Good point. Fuck it, out of the ring he goes then.
>>
>>1469347
Mercy.
>>
>>1469347
Just chuck him out.
>>
Why are we even considering BfB'ing him anyway? We should save our blood for Janna to heal her black lung.
>>
>>1469379
>>1469362
I elect that we ring him out FIRST; put BfB on hold until we're confident we're not getting into any more fights.
>>
>>1469347
Show him mercy.
>>
>>1469362
Heal him after pushing him out.
>>
COUNTING THE VOOOOOOO-
>>
>>1469347
We dont need to give him blood but he needs to give us some on his then ring out
>>
Every time I think anon has an ounce of cool, he comes out even more autistic. It's like a superpower.
>>
>>1469458
Its like he keeps getting a few good rolls before a mountain of shit ones or something...
>>
>>1469463
>"YOU FUCKING STUPID FURRY FAGGOT BITCH THE CHIMERA HAD THREE HEADS AND TWO OF THEM WERE FUCKING CARNIVORES AND IT ATE MEN FOR BREAKFAST AND BREATHED FIRE JUST LIKE THIS YOU GODDAMN SNOWFLAKE CUNT I BET YOU LIFT TO GET GRILLS YOU NOGAINZ FAKE NATTY FUCKING SLUT-BOI WHO TAKES IT IN THE ASS FROM A CATTLE PROOOOOOOOOOOD!"
Or maybe it's because even when he gets good rolls, he says shit like that. Even when he's winning he's spazzing the fuck out.
>>
File: T-1.jpg (27 KB, 336x320)
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THE VOTES

>Mercy
Yes: 10 votes
No: 5

>Heal MantaurMan
Yes: 5
N: 8


>You lower your hand
>The smoke seems to clear
>You're disgusted by this guy
>Still, he was probably not that different from you, once
>Some lonely, scared person with no place they belonged
>You kneel
>Offer him Muscles' hand
>He can't take it
>He's shaking too much
>You pick him up
>The crowd is shocked
>A: "Mantaurman."
>M: "M-mommy?"
>A: "You give?"
>M: "Mommy."
>A: "Just say Uncle."
>M: "Terrance."
>A: "Close enough."
>You put him down in the bleachers
>Janna eyes him like the bad car accident you've made of him
>She looks at your face
>She sees a lot of things
>A lot more than you'd like her to
>She sees how sad you are
>Every time you get in fights you get way too close to causing irreperable harm
>She sees the power you wield now
>Over yourself
>Over Magic
>Janna pops open your med-kit box
>A: "No."
>She pauses
>A: "I might need that soon. I'll fix him up if things turn out ok...Just don't let him die."
>J: "Were you gonna kill him?"
>You turn back to the announcer
>A: "If not for you...yeah."
>Janna will remember this

>ANN: "Well...the Faceless Phenom has certainly brought a unique flavor to our Stadium of City Waste disposal."
>A: "Cut the crap, Barber Shop Pants! I'm not here to knock over chumps!"
>You snatch the mic again
>A: "Gimme your best!"
>The mic leaves your hand, floating up into the blackness of the sky
>What the he-
>???: "You've already made it to the best, Anonymous."

>The Lights explode into life
>A form descends from on-high
>ANN: "He's here! OUR CHAMPION! THE MASTER OF MESS! OUR RUINER OF THE REFUSE HEAP! HE DOESN'T JUST MAKE TRASH! HE DOESN'T JUST TAKE OUT THE COMPETITION! IT'S...IT'S!"

cont...
>>
>>1469475
It wouldn't be Anon if he didn't have 42 different spectrums of autism in him. That's why we hate/love him.
>>
>>1469483
That blonde kid from Karate class?
>>
>>1469489
I just realized: we need to tell the announcer, if Anon beats the best, he gets a cash prize. THE cash prize, not some token, peanuts worth shit.
>>
>>1469483
>>1469493
rey mysterio?
>>
File: Spoiler Image (203 KB, 675x900)
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>>1469483
>>1469483
>>1469483

>That shadow lands with such grace
>Such power
>It rises up, garbage cans from every corner of the lot assemble around him in a floating set of islands
>Beautiful Islands
>Islands of trash
>T: "THE TRAAAAASSSSSSHMAAAAAANNN!"
>A FUCKING TIDAL WAVE OF GARBAGE IS COMING AT YOU
>WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?
>HE HAS POWERS
>GARBAGE POWERS
>AAAAA
>AAAAAAAA WHAT DO!?
>>
>>1469483
Are we fighting the Undertaker?
>>
>>1469483
I wonder if it's The Undertaker
>>
>>1469509
>>1469509

https://youtu.be/NyK_A3I5T3w?t=14
>>
>>1469483

>>1469493
>>1469505
The entire state of Wisconsin?
>>
>>1469509
Push the ground away to escape the wave vertically, like a super jump.
>>
>>1469509
RAISE THE ROADKILL OFF THE GARBAGE AROUND YOU

FIGHT TRASH WITH TRASH.
WE'LL BEAT HIM AT HIS OWN GAME
>>
>>1469509
OH GOOD GOD, NO!

GET TO HIGH GROUND, GET TO FUCKING HIGH GROUND ANON! DEFEND YOURSELF AND WATCH FOR FLYING TRASH AND TRASH CANS!
>>
>>1469518
>>1469509
THIS
>>
>>1469509
Fuck! This dude's magical! This wasn't expected!
>>
>>1469509
UNDEAD BUG SWARM
SUMMON THEM TO EAT THE TRASH
>>
>>1469509
Use Muscles to jump!
>>
>>1469518
Supporting
>>
>>1469509
>>1469514
naw apparently it carl from accounting
>>
>>1469509
>"IT'S NO USE, TRASHMANKIN; I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND!!!
>>
>>1469518
We are the true masters of TRASH. Supporting.
>>
>>1469509
MORE FIRE! INCINERATE THE GARBAGE!
>>
>>1469532
This
>>
>>1469509
Grab a surfable piece of refuse and then SURF ON THE TRASH WAVE!
>>
File: T-2.jpg (110 KB, 1280x722)
110 KB
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Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>1469517
>>1469518
>>1469519
>>1469521
>>1469523
>>1469524
>>1469525
>>1469532


>HIS GARBAGE IS SO STRONG
>THE SMELL
>THE HEAT
>HIS THEME SONG IS SO LOUD

https://youtu.be/eCGoA-dZBzo

>You BARELY leap into the air using a punch into the earth
>As the trash flows beneath you it washes across the crowd as if they were in the splash zone
>A flaming ball of cotton candy comes flying at you
>A rat
>A dead half-a-hobo
>That's when it hits you
>J: "Anon! There's too much trash! I'm drowning in garbage! It's like BASIC CABLE TELEVISION!"
>That's when it really hits you

>Your powers awaken inside you
>Your will EXPLODES out into the surrounding dump
>rise
>RISE, YOU COMMAND THE DEAD
>The forgotten
>The vermin
>This guy controls trash
>Well you?
>You ARE trash
>...and you have friends in the dump

ROLL WILL!
1d20 + 6!
>>
>>1469509
O shit is Danny de Vito

If he's going full magic, we oughta go full magic. Create mass undead of the dead rats in the trash

He can't think if he's covered in rats

Also did we really need to tell Janna that? We probably wouldn't kill him even without her
>>
Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
>>
Rolled 17 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
>>
Rolled 7 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
>>
Rolled 13 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
ATTACK HIS TRASH

WE ARE ONE! WE ARE ANONYMOUS!
>>
Rolled 10 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
>1d20 + 6!
>>
Rolled 3 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
Aight, let's do it
>>
Rolled 11 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
Today is the day I roll another crit fail!
>>
Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
Trash.... this is Anon's home.
>>
>>1469557
hell yeah man!
>>
Rolled 11 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
LETS GOOOI
>>
Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
Time to stop
>>
Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469557
18 isn't bad.

We can't temporarily desummon zombella and reanimate her later?
>>
>>1469557
Nice a 19
>>
KEEP ROLLING
IF THE DC IS 20 THEN WE'RE FUCKED
>>
Rolled 14 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
>>
ROLL

FUCKING ROLL
>>
Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
FOR MOTHER
>>
Rolled 16 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1469580
Fuk u I'm rolling a 1
>>
>>1469547
dice+1d20+6
>>
Rolled 4 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469547
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>1469547
>>
Rolled 20 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>
Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1469589
I'm retarded
>>
>>1469596
Good man.

STOP ROLLING

WE GOT OUR 20!
>>
>>1469596
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WgKubW5Z0o
>>
Rolled 1 + 6 (1d1 + 6)

;^)
>>
File: 1c7.png (123 KB, 284x178)
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>>1469596
>>
>>1469606
Fake one.
>>
>>1469606
fuk you
>>
>>1469547

He's a fraud, Frank's not poor! He's rich as fuck.
>>
>>1469606
Don't be like that, Anon.
>>
>>1469557
>>1469557

>With a 19...

>>1469596
+2!

>21 TOTAL
>Muscles smacks waves of trash from you
>As you fall
>Your mind rockets forth
>The Popcorn and french fries bounce off your face
>The salt
>It fuels you

https://youtu.be/ZTidn2dBYbY

>Your hand
>Muscles' hand
>They both shoot out
>You're falling like an eagle in it's dive for the earth
>Old Car cushions blast past you
>A steering wheel
>The Bulldozer
>Just before you reach the ground
>You see him
>Smiling up at you
>Old newspapers filling his mouth
>His wiry black hair billowing in the breeze
>Trashman
>You bring your hands together
>A shockwave of black energy rockets through the battlefield
>THEY COME
>Roaches
>Rats
>Dead Birds
>Dead Guy hands
>LOST PUPPIES
>WORMS
>CENTIPEDES
>Hundreds of thousands

https://youtu.be/XC36OTUxj3o

>THEY RISE TO MEET YOU
>You dive into the swarm
>They form into a living mass of dead meat and flash
>You stand twenty feet fucking tall
>Eye level with Trashman
>T: "At laaast! An opponent who MIGHT be worthy of the title of TRUE TRASH MANIAC!"
>A: "Enough talk! YOU AND ME, YOU LITTLE GREMLIN!"
>He responds with another torrent of trash
>You block it and Blast Maggots across his body
>T: "AAHAHAHAH IT TICKLES! MORE! I WISH MY WIFE TOUCHED ME LIKE THIS!"

>You are Anon
>14 year old fucking badass Necro-mancer Wrestler
>You are now squared up on an ocean of dead servants against a Trash wielding 5'1 man in a singlet


WHAT
DO!?
>>
>>1469628
Get the mass of dead to distract him; have them all swarm him, and have Anon search for a weapon among the trash for Muscles to wield.

Then start smashing him with it.
>>
File: 1493659905917.jpg (27 KB, 237x295)
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27 KB JPG
>>1469628
Have the swarm launch us forward and convert Muscles into a mace. It's time to fight man to man while our minions die around us.
>>
>>1469628
>>1469633
This but no weapons
Just turn Muscles into a Hammer or something
>>
>>1469628
Give him the elbow drop! Giga impact!
>>
>>1469628
THEY COME

Our animals are more flexible in their use

We send a cloud at him which he bashes away

Behind the cloud is us with a muscles slam
>>
>>1469637
YEEEEEEEEEESSSS! SUPPORT!
>>
>>1469628
send the centipedes into Trashman's Every Orifice
>>
>>1469639
>>1469633

Hmm, good point. If the man controls trash, what's to say he can't control specific trash? Like stuff we hold?
>>
>>1469637
>>1469628
Voting for this.
>>
>>1469637
Supporting this.
>>
>>1469628
>"THIS HAND OF MINE IS BURNING DEAD; ITS LOUD ROAR TELLS ME TO GRASP VICTORY!!!"

>use our new Undead Gundam to punch a BURNING FINGER into Trashman
>>
>>1469637
>Have the swarm launch us forward and convert Muscles into a mace. It's time to fight man to man while our minions die around us.
This
>>
>>1469639
>>1469665
Dude
Changing to this
>>
>>1469665
nvm THIS
>>
>>1469665
Changing vote to this
>>
>>1469665
THIS
>>
>>1469637
THIS
>>
>>1469643
>>1469665
Changing my massive support!
>>
>>1469665
Supporting this
>>
>>1469665
Yes.

YES.

YES!!!
>>
>>1469665
This please
>>
>>1469665
>>1469672
>>1469676
>>1469681
>>1469683

>As you fight through the ocean of trash you realize
>Everything here is just like you
>A: "Forgotten things."
>You see rats make eye contact with you from the swarm
>You see roaches ride one another like steeds
>You even see a dead dog
>You feel their hearts
>They're smiling
>All of them
>It isn't just the skeletons
>Or the rot of their lips
>Z: "MASHTA!"
>You look down
>Zombella's running to you
>She can't sit by
>She leaps in with you
>It gives the mass FORM
>Joints coalesce
>Shoulders bulge
>BOOM!
>ONE FOOT
>BOOM!
>THE OTHER!
>FLESH CLOSES AROUND YOU
>You feel their lives
>All their lives
>The joy they knew
>The ones they loved
>They feel it again
>They feel it ALL WHEN THEY FIGHT BESIDE YOU
>A: "I AM ANONYMOUS!"
>YOU STRIKE TRASH AWAY
>A: "I AM NO ONE!"
>YOU CLAW EVEN DEEPER INTO THE PILE
>A: "I AM NOTHING!"
>THERE'S SO MUCH JOY
>IT SETS YOUR HEART ON FIRE
>A: "I WILL TAKE EVERYTHING! I WILL MAKE THIS MEANINGLESS LIFE WHOLE!"
>You rear back
>MUSCLES IS WITH YOU
>THE FIRE FUELS HIS POWER

https://youtu.be/ny24zPeQLks

>A: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
>YOUR POWER EXPLODES ACROSS THE UNDEAD THAT FORM YOUR HAND
>THE RIGHT OF NOBODY
>OF NOTHING
>OF EVERYTHING

ROLL STRENGTH, ANONYMOUS!

1D20 + 25!
>>
Rolled 2 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
LETS GO
>>
Rolled 2 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
YEEEEEESSSSS
>>
Rolled 6 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
>>
Rolled 15 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
I FUCKING LOVE YOU
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>1469712
>>
Rolled 19 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
>>
Rolled 10 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
BUUUURNING
FINGEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR
>>
File: 1494422475902.png (514 KB, 532x582)
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Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>1469712
The...dice
>>
File: BAYONETS.jpg (50 KB, 491x540)
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Rolled 15 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
FAILURE IS THE WEAKNESS OF THE ENEMY
>>
Rolled 15 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6nXzbvT0Oo
>>
Rolled 7 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
GET

DE-

-STROYED!
>>
Rolled 14 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
MY MINIONS ARE THE BEST IN THE UNIVERSE PUUUUUUUNCH!
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>1469712
ONE PAWWWNNNCCHHH
>>
Rolled 18 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
>>
Rolled 7 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
>>
Rolled 18 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
>>
Rolled 16 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469741
In case we have to add the mod to count
>>
Rolled 13 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
>1D20 + 25!
>>
Rolled 3 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469754
>>
>>1469730
>>1469730
>>1469730
>>1469730

THE WINNER!

7+25 = 32!


>A wall raises before you
>A wall of steel and stone
>T: "AAAH! I see you've got the strength to back up your attitude!"
>Trashman has assembled the dumpsters into armor
>A suit of refuse metal
>T: "But this fight isn't over!"

>He swings his new hands of trash at your chest!
>IT CRUSHES ZOMBIES AND BUGS ALIKE!
>Your mass stumbles backward
>You nearly fall onto the crowd
>Here he comes
>Riding his tidal wave of papers and cans and bottles and candies

>ANON HAS TAKEN 8 DMG
>ANON IS AT 22 HEALTH

This fight is not over!

WHAT DO!?
>>
Rolled 19 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469712
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grZ9tNQnnAA
>>
>>1469764
Shield!
>>
>>1469764
CROSS COUNTER
>>
>>1469764
ROAST HIM IN HIS METAL SUIT

Is Zombella dead? Poor girl.
>>
>>1469764
>>1469776
This plz
>>
>>1469777
>Is Zombella dead
Yes...she was been dead for a while
>>
>>1469764
Go for the belly! That's his weak spot!
>>
>>1469776
Supporting this. Let's try and not get hit though, of course.
>>
>>1469764
I find myself supporting >>1469776
>>
>>1469777
KEK SPEAKS, THIS IS THE BEST OPTION
>>
>>1469764
If we bfb on him,will we get some of that sweet trash magic?
>>
>>1469764
CROSS COUNTER
>>
>>1469793
THIS.
>>
>>1469789
Next round dude
We'll find out
>>
>>1469776
>>1469793
>>1469780
>>1469784
>>1469786

>You see his movements
>Slow, clumsy and untrained
>He has such power over things thrown away
>It doesn't make him a fighter
>Not like you
>You ask Muscles to trust you
>He clenches his fingers, growing spines all up your mech's new arm in response
>He lends his Dexterity
>Your body twitches like it's filled with lightning

>ROLL DEX!
1d20 + 3!

https://youtu.be/G9xzhyp431c
>>
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
>>
Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
COUNTAAAAA
>>
Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>1469805
Kek, bless us
>>
Rolled 6 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
>>
Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
>>
Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
>LET'S GO!!!
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
GO
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
>1d20 + 3!
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>1469805
>>
Rolled 18 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
>>
Rolled 18 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
AND SCREEEEEEEAAAAAM!
>>
Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1469805
Badda BOOM!
>>
>>1469816
WINNER!

>13
>>1469815
-2
>>1469817
+2!
>>1469822
+2!

>15 total...

https://youtu.be/r65qk8BIRBM

>His fist RAINS DOWN
>He hits...
>Nothing
>Just before his hand would have collided you twist your hips
>His fingers graze your human face
>You emerge from the flesh
>Your eyes blaze with power
>Not just Lunas
>Not the books
>Yours
>Anonymous' Soul pours from him now
>Muscles pulls back
>Black blood spilling into the sky and evaporating from the heat


ROLL STRENGTH!

1d20 = 25!
>>
Rolled 14 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
RIP AND TEAR
>>
Rolled 14 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
FOR MOTHER
>>
Rolled 10 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUyNvIMS6no
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>1469847
bless
>>
Rolled 15 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
>>
Rolled 14 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
POWEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!
>>
Rolled 2 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
>>
Rolled 1 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
LETS DO IT
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>1469847
>>
Rolled 3 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
No more 1s pls
>>
Rolled 5 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
BROTHERRRR
>>
Rolled 10 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
SMASH
>>
Rolled 7 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mVsk7CApVk
>>
Rolled 1 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
>>
>>1469847
WE NEED MORE ROLLERS!!!
ONE MORE 20 AND WE BREAK DC 30!!!
>>
Rolled 17 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
ROLL AGAIN
>>
Rolled 4 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
PODER BASURA
>>
>>1469881
You doomed us.
>>
>>1469881
why did you roll
>>
Rolled 11 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
>>
File: T-3.jpg (16 KB, 480x360)
16 KB
16 KB JPG
>>1469868
Winner

>30 total

>>1469863
-2

>>1469881
-2

26 total....

>There's no way he can block you now
>You're so up close
>He's so open
>He can tell as well
>He sees your first
>He fucking bails off of his mountain of garbage
>T: "AAH! NO! I ain't lettin' you hit me with that!"
>He surfs downhill on a board made from old coolers
>You reach for him
>He flies up, holding onto a hot air balloon made from a hefty bad and a constantly spewing Propane tank
>You give chase
>You swat at him in the air
>A: "Get back here! Fucking kiters! 1v1 me Trashman!"
>That's when you realize you're standing mech-waist deep in Garbage!
>T: "MY TRAP IS SET! IT'S TIIIIME FOR THE TREAAAASH COMPACTA!"

>He snaps his fingers
>He critically fails


writing
>>
Rolled 20 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469847
>>
>>1469908
NOW YOU CRIT
>>
File: IMG_5269.png (63 KB, 472x485)
63 KB
63 KB PNG
>>1469906
>He critically fails
>>
>>1469906
Wait, we've been going against actual rolls this entire time?

That's... rather comforting to know.
>>
>>1469906
>>1469906
>>1469906

>The Garbage doesn't move
>It doesn't
>Move
>J: "Anon! It's wrestling! HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR YOU'RE REALLY HOT RIGHT NOW!"
>You know
>It's time to end this

>Trash man has left himself OUTSIDE OF HIS ROBOT OF TRASH

>YOU ARE STILL IN YOURS

What do!?
>>
>>1469922
SMASH TRASH
>>
>>1469922
HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR
>>
>>1469922
Grab him with our undead gunman, and then bring his face up to our human body, AND THEN PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE WITH MUSLES!
>>
>>1469922
Can we morph into an undead chair and slam down on him?
>>
>>1469922
GRAB HIM AND THROW IM OUTTA THE ARENA
>>
File: 20170515_220809.png (92 KB, 622x794)
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>>1469922
Throw him out of the ring. No need to add insult to injury.

JUST KIDDING FUCKING SMASH (nonlethally)
>>
>>1469922
PUNCH THING
>>
>>1469931
Do this
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>1469922
Hit him with da chair!
Also test roll.
>>
>>1469922
>HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR
>See if we can't ring him out with this
>>
>>1469922
Bring him back down to earth, then hit him with everything we got (probably a chair)
>>
Rolled 17 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469922
IT IS TIME
FOR THE HUMILLIATION

>>1469931
GIANT UNDEAD CHAIR
>>
ELBOW DROP.

Non-lethally.
>>
>>1469943
>>1469939
>>1469942
>>1469935
>>1469934
>>1469932
>>1469929
>>1469931
>>1469926
>>1469927

>ATTACK THE WACK JACK

Roll STRENGTH NOW!

1d20 +25!
>>
Rolled 9 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
>>
Rolled 11 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>1469954

THE TOSSED OUT DICE OF DESTINY!
>>
Rolled 1 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
>>
Rolled 19 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
TIME TO END THIS! ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!
>>
Rolled 4 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
>>
Rolled 3 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
Here's to 20s!
>>
Rolled 6 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
>>
Rolled 5 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
WE ROLLED OUT OUR 1's GENTS!

LET'S END THIS
>>
Rolled 7 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>1469954
>>
>>1469960
FUCK
>>
Rolled 1 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
VEINTE TE INVOCO!
>>
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Rolled 18 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469979
>>1469954
>>
Rolled 8 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
>>
Rolled 18 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
Ok i know what you're all thinking
"Why keep rolling we already got two ones."
But you know what...
Fuck you.
>>
Rolled 3 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
>>
Rolled 17 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
How are you not dead yet?
>>
Rolled 13 + 25 (1d20 + 25)

>>1469954
Rollin
>>
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>>1469999
Check'd
>>
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>>1469999
>>
Okay folks, so let's sacrifice some of our mech to heal ourselves, Janna's lung and Mr. Minotaur. After that we'll feed the rest to Zombina.
>>
>>1470008
this is a good plan, i'll support
>>
>>1470008
Votang for this when the time comes.
>>
>>1470008
I like this plan
>>
>>1470008
When the time comes withing which the fighting is over, I'm down for this.
>>
>>1470008
yep,support this
>>
>>1469962
>>1469962
>>1469962

THE
WINNER!

>44 total

>>1469960
-2
>>1469979
-2

40 total
>You grab Trashman around his pudgy little waist
>He tries to fly off
>Uh uh
>You snatch him like a karate master snatches a fly
>You hear dramatic music come on over the PA as you bring him down to the shimmering seas of eyeballs you use to see out of this thing
>You split the center, leaning out
>Man, that is some corny music

https://youtu.be/cfCySQzNDrw?t=236

>A: "Hey! CUT THAT SHIT OFF!"
>The DJ does so out of fear of your giganto sized monster mash ass
>A: "What's your bluetooth!?"
>You spend a solid 15 seconds setting this up
>Some people think it kills the mood
>Just wait, fuckers
>You get it

> https://youtu.be/z6jbMdWaeXY

>You HURL Trashman into the ground!
>He's barely together
>His hair a bigger mess
>His jaw dislocated
>You don't just give him the chair
>You reach over
>You snatch THE THRONE
>A monument of forgotten things
>A: "Hey, Trash Bender."
>T: "Is that you, Penn?"
>A: "Must be nice."
>T: "What?"
>A: "Living with your waifu."
>T: "I've been single si-"
>WHAM!
>A: "CAUSE YOUR-"
>BLAM!
>A: "WAIFU"
>BRACH BRASH CRUNCH BALAM!
>A: "IS!"
>You toss away the chair
>You throw yourself up

https://youtu.be/bwv_2OKxZr8

>The air rushes around you
>Out comes the ultimate destroyer
>Your elbow
>You descend faster and faster
>The ground spins
>You feel the power
>Your see your target
>This is what you must do
>Move mountains to get what you want
>Good
>May the ones in your way see those mountains crumble
>May they be crushed beneath your path toward victory
>BRRRRAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!
>The Dead God's Elbow
>It is complete
>The Trashman wheezes from his hole
>His hand comes out of the dirt
>T: "I'm no-"
>BLAM
>One foot mashes it's toe into the hole
>You grind it a little
>You check
>A: "He's done."

>The crowd is staring at you
>Several women are lowering their shirts after having reconsidered public Nudity

>Janna is slack-jawed and looks like she's seen a vision of the divine

What say?
>>
>>1470025
>"........ ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"
>>
>>1470025
Give me my fucking money
>>
>>1470025
"Next?"
>>
>>1470025
>>He tries to fly off
>>Uh uh
>>You snatch him like a karate master snatches a fly


"HE DIDN'T FLY SO GOOD!"
>>
>>1470025
>Say nothing. Just throw your hands up in the air.
>>
>>1470025

>Spill spaghetti
"It's not like I wanted you to cheer for me, don't get the wrong idea!"
>>
>>1470025
"I run this shit!
WRYYYYYYYYYYY!"
>>
>>1470025
"Looks like I took care of the "trash" now bring out the real fighters!"
>>
>>1470025
>>1470030
I am also fond of
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUFlTklNgYw
>>
>>1470025
WHATS GOOD NIGGA
https://youtu.be/hod0WtYE4SA
>>
>>1470025
"WEITHER ITS A MONSTER MASH OR JUST TAKING OUT THE TRASH, LETS IT BE KNOW BY ALL THAT YOUR HERO WAS DEFEATED....By a Nobody."
>>
>>1470040
This
>>
>>1470044
Nvm this
>>
>>1470036
We're already Jojo-fagging it up, might as well go ahead and let out our cry.
>>
>>1470040
Support
>>
>>1470025
>>1470034
Reference: https://youtu.be/p7UGysLNnVQ?t=37
If timestamp doesn't work, skip to around 37 seconds
>>
>>1470044
Actually, I prefer this
>>
>>1470034
Supporting
>>
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It is time...to count
>>
>>1470073
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw
>>
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>>1470034
>>1470040
>>1470044

A three way tie...

SPECIAL EVENT

Writing
>>
>>1470075
nb4 autistic what's nigga hands in air.
>>
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>>1470075
>>1470075

>The announcer walks out onto the ruined battlefield
>His tie is coming loose
>He picks his Microphone off the dirty pile of nacho-bags it landed in
>It squeals for a moment
>ANN: "Anonymous...truly you are the dirtiest of all Trash Maniacs."
>He turns to the crowd
>ANN: "Ladies...gentlemen."
>He points to you
>The Lights explode into gold, pink and Green light
>ANN: "YOUR NEW TMWF CHAMPION! THE KING OF THE CLING-ONS! THE MASTER OF MASS WASTE REMOVAL! ANON! THE PHENOMONYNONYMOUS!"

https://youtu.be/XBD22iD3KCQ

>You raise your gigantic arms
>Confetti rains down as the crowd turns into a rabid frenzied mass of crazed fans
>You smile
>Janna is sprinting onto the field
>J: "You did it, Anon!"
>As you come back down to earth an exaughstion takes you like never before
>Your mind rings for a second
>You fall out of the death-mec
>Little souls drift into the air as your creations lose their grip on this world
>Their tiny bodies tun to ashes before even reaching the ground
>Janna catches you, shocked at how close you were to overloading
>You grin at her
>A: "Guess you could say I really...took the Trash out."
>She looks at you like she could kiss you
>Then starts to wheeze and cough
>You cringe
>A: "Hang-on. I still got some in me."
>You motion for the blade in your first aid kid
>Performing your ritual quickly you transfer some of your health to Janna
>Anon is now at 15 health
>She looks much better
>J: "Now that we've shared blood are we in a cult?"
>A: "I thought you were already in a cult."
>J: "I like my relationships flexible and fun."
>A: "Hah."
>The confetti is still falling
>Your announcer comes back
>ANN: For the closing ceremony I'd like to turn it over to our celebrity guest. Trash Expert!"
>Oh, hell no
>ANN: "Penn Jillette!"

cont
>>
>>1470097
Cue JOHN CENA and theme music
>>
>>1470097
>Exchanged health with Janna

Good, let's see if she got better now. And did Zombella survive the ordeal?
>>
>>1470097
Oh shit its the magic man!
>>
>>1470097
>Penn Jillette
B-but how...
How?
HOW?!
>>
>>1470111
Considering that she's a separate/permanent minion I'd say yes.
>>
>>1470097
>>1470097
>>1470097

>P: "Well, young man you certainly put on a great show today. Loved the Pyrotechnics."
>Someone whispers something in Penn's ear
>P: "Really? Well as per regulation you're now the new champion of the Trash Mania Arena. That means you get the belt!"
>He hands you a belt covered in bolts, car parts and who's centerpiece is a gold toilet seat
>Spray painted, of course
>P: "Along with the cash prize!"
>He smiles at you, pulling out a cigar
>He mumbles into the mic through his clenched teeth
>P: "Of ZehnFousandars."
>A: "What?"
>He pulls it out
>P: "I said Ten THOUSAND dollars, you deaf little prick."

>Oh
>Oh that's a loooooo
>You throw up again
>P: "Gross."
>He lights up his cigar, improving his diction
>P: "Well, anyways congratulations I'm sure your coach is very proud."
>J: "I sure am!"
>P: "Your mom too."
>J: "I surrrre am!"
>A: "You're not my mom."
>J: "You'll call me mamami tho."
>A: "I-"
>J: "Shush Penn Jillette talking."
>P: "Is that in cash?"
>Someone else whispers to him
>P: "Wow! It is!"
>He hands you a fucking wad
>P: "Don't spend it all on hookers and zombie-blow kid."
>Penn winks before stepping back off into the shadows
>P: "Trust me."
>You are Anon

>You are 14 years old
>You are now level 7
>Your Wisdom is +3 now
>Your Strength and Muscles' is now +9
>Your WILL is plus...7? Hey! What gives?
>Z: "MMMuh!"
>You look over, spotting something rolling around in the piles of blackened little bodies
>Z: "Muh?"
>A: "Susan!"
>Z: "MAH!"
>J: "You really didn't name her Susan, did you?"
>A: "She responds to whatever you call her, really. Watch. Hey, Slut."
>Z: "Mah."
>A: "WHore."
>Z: "MUH!"
>A: "Daddy Warcucks."
>Z: "MAAAAHH!"
>Janna puts her hand over your zombie's mouth
>J: "Anon...you just made the biggest payday of your life. What the hell are you gonna spend it on?"
>A: "Well...I was kind of hoping first I could take care of you. My mom needs some help...shit. I gotta get thinking."
>J: "How exactly were you gonna 'take care' of me, Hotshot?"
>A: "Well. You don't wanna stay in that Park anymore do yah?"
>You rip open the air
>The portal you make leads back
>A: "You wanna stay somewhere else? Maybe in a crazed Warlock-Punch-guy's house?"
>You are Anon
>You've probably just killed a ma-
>T: "Help. My trashy bones."
>Oop no, Trashman Lives.
>You're also about to do something pretty risky
>Inviting a friend
>A girl you like...and might like you
>Into your house
>Suddenly, you perk up remembering your angry rant from before wasn't complete
>A: "Oh yeah!"
>You limp to the crater
>A: "TRASH! YOUR WAIFU IS TRASH CAUSE IT'S WHAT YOU LIVE IN AND WITH!"
>You pant
>Spit
>A: "Ok, lets get outta here."
>Smooth

SESSION END
>>
>>1470128
>SESSION END
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9COHyaFMU8
>>
>>1470128
ten THOUSAND dollars! That sax is fucking bought!
>>
You think we have enough to buy our Sax?
>>
>>1470128
Hoo boy! Thanks Quest-babe, good session.

Alright boys, we gotta safeguard that money, and GOOD. Think we can hit up Hekapoo on Headbook for a bank dimension or something we can drop the cash off at? And let's get a priority list on what we're spending the dosh on.

First thing: Get the sax back.

What the hell do we spend on the second thing? Janna? Getting Anon's room back in tip-top shape and possibly a second bed? (We don't know yet if there's a spare bedroom for Janna to camp out in) Anon's Mom? Don't see anything else at the moment we can spend Earth cash on.
>>
>>1470141
:smirk:
>>
>>1470145
We might be able to buy some gold to spend on mewni for the armor. Otherwise, we should spend the money to make it easier to live at home.
>>
>>1470141
I dunno man, considering inflation we might need to participate in another illegal underground wresting tournament to make our payment.
>>
>>1470128
Oooow shit,this gets more ridiculous with every new thread. I love it.
>>
>>1470128
>SESSION END
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idoYCVLh2qI
>>
>>1470145
This find a hekagood bank, like an Iron Bank levels of gud. Bribery might be encouraged but if it gets us the best deals as well as a sleazy accountant whose wholejob is to make money, while taking a bit off the top of course after all how else is the poor fuck gonna make cash? We gotta go full fat cats with this shizzle.
>>
>>1470153
Yeah, but let's keep it on the downlow on what's spent.

We're invaded enough by monsters looking for magic, let's not add thugs onto that list looking for expensive shit.

We should avoid giving all of the cash directly to Anon's Mom to cover what's going to be bought, and just ask what repairing the room + whatever else we come up with to get for home would cost, then give that amount. Keep the rest hidden.

Hate to do it to her, but it's for our own good.
>>
>>1470174
plus i'm worried what someone going through detox will do with that much money
>>
Let's go to quest buy, they have EVERYTHING in the universe there, including weapons and armor.

>inb4 we don't know about it
Quest says that meta knowledge is allowed so fuck off.
>>
>>1470187
meta knowledge as long as it can be justified. Justify Anon going to Quest Buy and we'll go.
>>
>>1470177
Ah yeah, forgot she's a druggee.

Yeah, also that, and she'll worry where we got the cash and either take it from us or burn it. Seeing us soaked in blood at one point, she's bound to guess either drug dealing or fight clubs.
>>
>>1470201
We could always just hide it somewhere in another dimension.
>>
>>1470194
>Anon wants to go to the best store in the universe
>Uses portal roulette until we get Quest Buy.
Easy.
>>
>>1470241
>Relying on portal roulette
>A d100 to win, being a 1-10% chance if we go by list

Nah m8, no one here wants to bother with that.

>>1470221
Yeah, that's what I suggested earlier with IMing Hekapoo asking info about a safe bank dimension or something.

I briefly thought we could leave it with her in her dimension, but they'll turn to dust by age by the time we decide to take them back.
>>
>>1470241
I don't think that's how portals work. And portal roulette has as much a chance of landing us in Hell with Tom as it does getting us to Quest Buy.
>>
>>1470255
Well, we can certainly try! And remember, we don't HAVE to go through every portal we make. We can just stick our head in for a sec to check if it's where we want to go.
>>
>>1470145
Speaking of Hekapoo and banks... if time dilation effects are still present in various dimensions, an investment with compound interest could be pretty intense. Course, medieval worlds probably don't have financial constructs in place for something like that. But, then again, if you introduced it and were on the ground floor...
>>
>>1470272
>Course, medieval worlds probably don't have financial constructs in place for something like that.
The romans and ancient chinese and indians did it long before the Renaissance Italian popularized it.
>>
Ah yeah, any word on the next session Quest?
>>
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Thread archived on sup/tg/; remember to vote.
>>
>>1470326
Just binged through the archive. I am legitimately surprised at how much I'm enjoying this.
>>
>>1469336

This wasn't appreciated enough but I always come back to re-read all the comments. Bless this post.
>>
>>1470309
>>1470309
>>1470309
>>1470309

NEXT SESSION WILL BE FRIDAY AT 7:00PM U.S. CENTRAL TIME!

Be sure to follow the twitter to see all the art!
https://twitter.com/StarVsQuest

Join the Discord for off-topic discussion and ENHANCED LEVELS OF SHITPOSTING

https://discord.gg/x25nASh

Be sure to check out the character sheets and other relevant info!
https://pastebin.com/u/STARvsQUEST

Oh, and...
>>1469450
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooootes-ah

Thanks for playing!
>>
>>1470436
Hol up nigga
If our base will is +9
and we're controlling 1 undead, the zombie girl,
shouldn't our effective will be +8
>>
>>1470462
WILL upkeep is dependent on the size of the undead being maintained.

The Pastebin explains Raise Dead's mechanics.
>>
>>1470436
On the character sheet charisma is still listed as +2 instead of +3.
>>
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>>1470829
Good catch, friend
It is now fixed
>>
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Luna has spoken to us in the Discord!


>It's been so long.

>I have been waiting on you...my child

>I knew you wouldn't forget...find me

>FI^TN&ND %M#E

>All reality wants to keep us apart...Mommy Misses you. Find me...find me

>I did not burn my world for nothing. Be it Mewni, Camelot, Earth, Mars, Eternia, Hyrule. They can all be destroyed. I am not defeated...not as long as I have you. I am not dead. I am not gone...

>I miss you...I love you

>Find me. D^5find%!me)*0..

>Beware the Reptile

>goodbye

And that's all she wrote.
>>
>>1473800
Alright. Avoid lizards, burn hyrule. got it.
>>
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screencap of the discord shenanigans
>>
So, thoughts on going on a shopping spree with our manager after buying the sax? At the very least getting Janna some new clothes because goddamn girl get some socks that don't stink so bad.

If she hadn't told us we'd never have known about this terrible and surprisingly tough tournament.... Will we have to defend our title now?
>>
>>1473861
Maybe after we fix our room. Or at least get our room on the path to being something other than a flaming wreck.
>>
>>1473983
Where will we put Janna? Our closet?

I fear she would chew our boxers
>>
>>1473991
Our bed. Or does that run into the same boxer problem?
>>
>>1473818
BOOK MOM LIVES.

And now we have serious reason to avoid Toffee at all costs.
>>
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>>1470128
>>1470128
>>1470128

https://youtu.be/5Tn6S-9-H-A?list=PLNGBNhWfmN5htEdMAoVp5iO3u09IBI1DZ

MEANWHILE, FAR AWAY FROM RUMBLE OF TRASH-MANIA

IN A MAGICAL KINGDOM, RULED BY A MAGIC WARRIOR QUEEN AND HER BARBARIAN ADVENTURER KING

IN A FLOATING CASTLE HIGH ABOVE THE RABBLE OF IT'S SUBJECTS

A plot thickens...

>Earlier that morning a scout had returned from the border-villages
>Wounded
>This had already incensed King River
>Doing battle with scouts was unchivalrous
>Taking them hostage?
>Sensible
>To send them back with half their numbers slaughtered?
>R: "Uncivilized."
>WHAM!
>The king's whole forearm shattered the table at which he had been enjoying his second brunch
>R: "It's InMewman!"
>M: "River."
>The king turned to his Queen with only a measured ounce less of fire in his eyes
>Moon Butterfly is the Matriarch of their people
>By divine right though the army may answer to him...
>The country looks to her for guidance
>River bowed his head, his warrior's spirit being expertly packed away
>The time for anger, fire and vengeance would come
>He could feel it
>For now, he had to stand back and let his wife tend to the fearful eyes of their servants
>The Queen stood before her messenger, taking in his wounds with astute observation
>River knew she intended to dismiss him
>To stabilize the room
>Though as well, to give herself a chance to think
>M: "How many?"
>River found himself surprised
>The squire writhed beneath her gaze, fearing punishment for his failure to scout the forest
>S: "We- I- could not see, your Grace. We were ambushed-"
>M: "Can you guess? How many -did- you see?"
>S: "No more than twenty."
>M: "Twenty what? Spearmen? Did they wield bows? I need details, young man. The value of your unit's sacrifice will be measured upon them."
>The young boy withered
>R: "Now now, son. Don't cower now."
>The squat, wild bearded man stepped up and placed his hand upon the youth's shoulder
>An un-kingly gesture
>R: "Your Queen needs you to focus. Give us everything we can to -find- these buggers and rout them!"
>River grinned, his pudgy fist shook before the boy's chin for emphasis
>Moon relaxed her posture, realizing how her husband had saved her from appearing a tyrant
>Once recomposed, the youth continued
>Moon listened, statuesque
>The news he delivered made that a monumental effort on her part

>S: "When we arrived at the wood all our reports were confirmed. There's been clear-cutting. Nothing large-scale...but the spaces between the trees have all been landscaped clear. Like some kind of passage."

>R: "Hm...a Guerrilla road."
>S: "The Mewman bodies weren't there however. No bones. Barely any tracks. We couldn't even find evidence of anyone's presence in the area. Until we made to leave..."
>The boy swallowed hard
>His eyes seemed to quaver as he stared at a spot in the purple stone floor
>Both of his Monarchs knew that look
>Shellshock
>S: "Just before we mounted black arrows filled the air..."

cont
>>
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>>1475386
>>1475386

https://youtu.be/ogTDa-vG2MQ

>S: "The first to fall was Commander Robin. She was the best of us. We were lost without her."
>He looked up, sweating
>Trembling
>S: "We tried to make off with our warnicorns. Pits laid in wait."
>He clutched the wide gashes in his side
>Loose and torn chainmail swung bloody from the wound
>M: "How did you enter without setting them off?"
>R: "Gangplanks over the snares..."
>S: "When the front line fell in we scrambled. Some to the deeper wood. I-..."
>He looked as if he might collapse
>His skin washed of all color
>S: "I can hear their screams."
>Tears began to trickle out from his eyes
>This was a boy
>Like all squires and paiges
>River had heard enough
>R: "This generation is not meant for war."
>His comment was not intended to deride
>Nor was the Queen's silence intended to dismiss
>She raised a gloved hand, her servants and as per their pedigree move without question
>M: "Tend to him. See that his wounds are properly dressed and his mind settled with whatever pleases him."
>Once the room had cleared
>Her power seemed to wane
>She lowered herself
>Not onto her throne
>But upon the daybed at her window
>M: "River..."
>She turned to her husband
>M: "What is happening?"
>River pulled hard upon the cords of his golden beard
>He'd not seen tactics like these since the Ogres took to slaving Hobbes as generals
>R: "Such picky assaults. Quick retreats."
>He stalked over to the fire at first, leaning above the blue flames
>Burning enchanted wood was ideal for Mewni's summer
>It produced a chill
>He let his eyes dry out in the fire light before realizing where he truly belonged in the room
>R: "My dear."
>He sat beside his wife, placing his hand upon her own
>R: "They're a small band. No more than a hundred in total. I'm sure of it."
>M: "How can we be sure? None of our scouts are well trained enough to move unseen."
>He gripped her palm
>Insistently
>R: "Any force larger would need to harvest supplies regularly. This group is entrenched in the Forest of Certain Death. They're foraging."
>He stood, not letting her hand go for the life of him
>R: "The attacks have been retaliatory or baiting. They want us blundering into that stick-heap ill prepared. Because they can't handle an all-out war."
>He walked back over to the fire, Moon held onto his hand as long as space allowed
>She missed his passionate days
>Before her proposal of marriage tied him to their castle
>Still, she turned back to the window, taking in her land
>Her kingdom
>Her people
>R: "The only question is who could have been so brazen as to attack -Mewni- soldiers? I wonder-"
>M: "We don't have to wonder."
>River turned, knowing the sound of his wife imparting awful truth
>M: "They're monsters."
>R: "Impossible! They could never be so organized. They're practically Ani-"
>M: "Only Monsters use black arrows."
>She turned to him, a smile half asking for forgiveness on her lips
>M: "Only monster claws can rip through Mewman armor."

cont
>>
Quest you madman, it's 3 am go to sleep please.
>>
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>>1475430
>>1475430

Elsewhere in this enchanted land
A new power rises


>Not in the ruins of a castle
>In a grisly hollow beneath Mewni's wild forests
>There, a secret meeting is being held
>Between the old races
>Trolls
>Boggarts
>Hobbes
>Kruuls
>Snaggletooth Warfers
>Pigmen
>Orcs
>The Blackborne
>Ents
>Hydra-spawn
>Even a shape that towered over all others
>They knew him as Mok-Grah
>Mountain Killer
>The Greenskin Warlord
>With his wife
>The Pixie Empress
>They came just as the Hags of Bogwire did
>Just as the Flea-men Monks from the Forest of Itchiness
>Just as the baron of the Blue-Water dragged his scaly hide from reaches unknown
>All to meet this new leader
>This..."Monster King"
>MG: "Pheh. It's foolishness."
>Mok-Grah's tiny lover patted his chin
>PE: "Patience. If nothing less, once this foolishness is over you can smash the rabble leader and take his little horde for your own."
>Mok-Grah grumbled his half-hearted approval to that notion
>His wife was deliciously cruel
>Just as some of the gathered attendees began to get restless
>The red curtain before them opened
>Out stepped an amphibian
>A Frog Monster, from the Brackish-Bog
>BF: "Friends. Countrihmen. Fvellow Munsters of all breeds. I welcome you."
>He stepped aside, allowing his master to emerge from the curtain

>Ludo

>The crowd belts into hideous laughter
>MG: "Is this a sick joke!?"
>H: "Waaste of our tiiime."
>Hissed the Hag Sisters
>Similar barks and snarls
>Wheezes and yips echoed through the dank caverns until their host
>The little Ludo, raised his hand for silence

https://youtu.be/4B6E0mijV5A?t=44

>At first they did not listen
>Until those inclined to do so, heard
>When he spoke something seemed to pour from him
>A presence they had not seen...nor heard in a millennia
>He spoke of their lost wars
>Of their power
>He reminded them of days when Ogre Kings ruled worlds and sailed the stars
>Of when giants and Hydra-Spawn intertwined vast empires
>Of Hags who bewitched Demons
>Of the power
>Of the freedom
>Of the days of Old Magic
>Times of glory
>Times of joy
>Times their children would never know
>Not with their throats under the Mewman boot
>He told them how they lost everything
>How they've had to watch the world THEY forged in the fires of chaos and truth be ordered into a lie of peace
>Where was the peace for them?
>For hungry wolf-men?
>For charmless witches?
>For Cyclopses robbed of their steel?

>L: "I wanted that joy for MYSELF!...and to do so I sought the Mewman's greatest treasure."
>Ludo narrowed his awful, yellow eyes
>In one claw he held aloft a pink and orange crystal
>Pilfered from an enchanted set of Mewman armor
>Such a gem was priceless among monster kind
>It relieved the wearer of all weight, without sacrificing the hardiness of any metal
>Monsters had never fully unlocked the crystal's secrets
>They nearly pounced upon him for the prize
>Ludo waited for them to try
>Then smashed it

cont
>>
>>1475474
>>1475474

>They lunged for him
>In superior numbers
>With unimaginable force
>Little Ludo raised one hand
>The charges detonated
>The cave collapsed
>As the tunnel crushed all those who had come to destroy him; and all those who would oppose him, Buff Frog pulled his Master close and leapt for the light
>BF: "I zsuppose they could not be shown the truth."
>L: "It doesn't matter."
>Ludo growled
>He eyed the now mass grave, shrinking below them as the pair soared off into the night
>L: "Without the old leaders holding them back...their people will be easier to sway."
>He looked to his servant
>No
>His general
>A wicked grin on his misshapen face
>L: "By might or right, aye BuffFrog!? The Old Way! Like a Monster King should do!"
>Buff Frog smiled
>His Babuska was right
>It was worth it, to read the ancient walls of that castle
>His teachings were working
>Ludo's foresight was growing
>This is what monsters needed
>Not some magic trick
>Or a power held only by their enemies
>They needed their own leader
>Their own ways
>Their own power
>Ludo, through his humiliation had finally unlocked his true potential
>The very power that made his family the Kings of Monsterkind so long ago
>Before Mewmans came
>Before Order Reigned
>Ludo had found his strength in his insurmountable ambition
>The others could smell it
>His anger
>His hate
>Even when he was still a sycophant it drew them in
>His first little Army
>The Army he lost to a 'child'
>A child the wielded the same dirty trick the Mewmans did
>Now, just like his mind the monsters that joined them were sharper
>Crueler
>More refined in skill and might
>BF: "This time will be different."
>Buff Frog made one last leap, escaping the scene toward Ludo's waiting batallion of monsters
>BF: "This time revolution will be complete."
>An army that had been growing by the day...
>BF: "This time. Monsters fight..."
>L: "Together."

end
>>
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>>1473800
>findmefindmefindme
>>
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>>1475497
Ohhh boy we fucked up
>>
>>1475497
Even when we win we lose
>>
>>1474099
She'd be chewing on the ones Anon's already wearing, so yeah.
>>
>>1475497
>army of monsters
Shame we can't counter with an army of undead due to how we have to sustain each individual summon with Will.

Well, we did create a giant undead robot, so I guess we can kill individual monsters and add their corpses to one undead with Flesh Shaper until it becomes big enough to steamroll the entire army (possibly literally).

That or abuse scissors and drop a bomb on top of Ludo or something.
>>
>>1475497
Get ready for the royal rumble...
>>
>>1475497
So is Toffee behind this in any form or is it 100% Ludo?
>>
>>1475997
It's Mom. She's being used by Ludo to aid him. She wants to be taken from him because he's a shit head.
>>
>>1475976
Best decide a plan for defending against possible attacks or ambushes, lest we have Anon have his teeth kicked in again.

Should we get to work on getting one of the artifacts Hekapoo mentioned the moment Anon and Janna go home, or wait till after school the next day?

I suggest getting the armor first then going for the eyes, because Hekapoo did emphasize the danger of the guy that holds the eyes, so it might be best to get protection first then go for them.

Once we get the armor, we should try to infiltrate and take the eyes stealthily. If we can take them without him even knowing who got them, or better yet, ambush him and take him out of the picture right then and there, it will save a lot of heartache with bad combat rolls.
>>
>>1476480
>because Hekapoo did emphasize the danger of the guy that holds the eyes,

Not really. All she said was

>H: "Just get to his castle, kick his minion's ass and use that map to find his treasure chamber. I garuntee if you get the eyes you'll never get lost in that void ever again."

She never outright said he was dangerous.

Though that doesn't mean I don't wanna get the armor first.
>>
>>1476491
Ah, apologies then. I could've sworn I remember her saying something about a wizard that can't be fucked with that holds one of the artifacts.

Must be imagining things, then.

Anyway, any ideas on how to take down the giga-lizard? Wearing it down isn't an option if it regrows its scales, even in death, so it would be best to try and kill it in one blow. Or hell, try and deal with its insides, say resurrect some undead creatures to rip and tear its guts from the inside. Combust is another option, but we don't know if it's vulnerable to fire or not.
>>
>>1476530
Well, if I were to have things my way, I'd want to portal on top of the thing, like on his head, and then I'd want us to climb over to its eyes. Then I'd wanna rip out one of its eyeballs and then burrow into its skull and tear apart its brain from the inside!
>>
>>1476530
She did mention that the only reason he wasn't on the council is because of his fashion sense so he is a legit powerful sorcerer.
>>
>>1476829
I though it was because h was too edgy?
>>
>3 minutes past 7

QUUUEEEEST!
>>
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>>1476866
His fashion sense is too edgy.
>>
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>>1476871
shhh,quest is slepp.
>>
SESSION START

>You are anonymous
>Book Finder
>Hole Explorer
>Arm Maker and dead flesh Shaper
>Wielder of Fire
>Lover of Tendies
>You've just pulled off the biggest 'W' of your new career as a magical dude
>Winning TRASH MANIA 47
>Echo Creek's premiere Garbage Wrestling tournament
>What a night
>Now that you've won...and got a FAT stack
>10 whole grand
>You've decided it's time to change some things
>Fix some stuff
>You invited Janna, one of your few friends to come live with you
>You didn't ask your mom or anything
>She's onto all sorts of self improvement stuff
>Too busy with her new boyfriend, Ron
>Way too preoccupied keeping off the shakes from her Pill habits
>You're sure she can be persuaded
>Right after you opened the portal home you popped the question to Janna
>A: "Well? Ready to ditch the park Bench?"
>Janna laughs
>Smiles
>Then looks you dead in the eye as she says
>J: "No."
>A: "...What in the french fried fuck?"
>J: "Anon. I don't think you get me. Or get what I'm all about."
>A: "I- I just wanted to help. You're living outside for christ's sake and nobody-"
>J: "You think nobody's tried to help me? Hah! Dude, Jackie's offered me the mini-couch in her bedroom close to a hundred times in the past week."
>This is so weird
>You've been wrestling with what to do with this power you've been given
>Now you have some real power
>Money
>You wanted to do something nice
>Something right...
>A: "...but you."
>Janna holds your human hand
>J: "I don't need anyone to save me, big shot."
>She punches your shoulder with her free arm
>J: "I left home for my own reasons. I'm staying on my own for the same thing."
>A: "Your own reasons?"
>J: "Freedom!"
>When she laughs the sea breeze wafts the stench of garbage across your face
>It's a kind of joy you've never seen before
>Wild
>A little afraid...
>Committed to it's own energy
>Janna slides over close
>J: "Tell you what though...I've had worse dates."
>This bitch just watched you beat and burn homeless people for an hour
>You gave her some of your own blood
>This was a date?
>Janna gives you a surprise smooch on the cheek
>S-stupid comfortable with physical intimacy woman
>J: "It's fun being a part of your adventures, Dork Lord."
>She leans down, counting out 1k from your cash
>J: "Until we meet again, I'll just take my manager's cut-"
>She snatches your scissors and rips a hole right back to her Park
>You see more than a little bench out there now
>She has a tent hidden in the bushes
>A hobo shower
>A stove
>She's really been making it
>J: "So I can get back to my own."
>She tosses your scissors back
>You nearly dropped them before Muscles just snatched them right before they hit the dirt
>J: "See ya."
>SHRRriiiiIp!
>pop!
>She's gone
>Muscles nudges your human shoulder for attention
>A: "What is it-"
>Muscles presents you a prize
>A set of black, pink ribboned panties
>Sliced by your scissors
>You hear Janna shriek in embarrassment all the way from here
>Muscles is now the smuggest hand
>Ever

cont
>>
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>>1476906
>>1476906

>You're left on your own now with your sexual predator monster-arm
>With 9k in actual cash
>You are a walking robbery target for suicidal muggers
>You've got some decisions to make

CHOOSE

WHAT DO WITH CASH MONE?

>Buy Saxophone after school tomm Y/N?
>Tell Mom? Y/N?
>Ask Hekapoo for Inter-dimensional shopping malls? Y/N?
>Tell anyone? Y/N?

>Where do you save what's left
>Open a bank account
>Stick it in your room-hole
>Buy a Safe and put it in the Swamp Safe-House


YOU ARE ANONYMOUS
YOU NOW HAVE MO' MONEY
and all them mo' money problems
>>
>>1476916
buy Sax Y
Tell mom? N
ASk Hekapoo? Y.

Tell anyone? Maybe Jackie. No one else.
>>
>>1476916
>Buy Saxophone after school tomm Y/N?
yeh
>>
>>1476916
buy the sax, then put the money in an account
>>
>>1476916
>Buy Saxophone after school tomm? Y
>Tell Mom? N
>Ask Hekapoo for Inter-dimensional shopping malls? Y
>Tell anyone? N
>>
>>1476916
>Buy Saxophone after school tomm Y/N?
Do you even need to ask my man?! Hells yeah!

>Tell Mom? Y/N?
Hellllllll no. She doesn't need to know what she doesn't need to know.

>Ask Hekapoo for Inter-dimensional shopping malls? Y/N?
Yeah, sure, up for that.

>Tell anyone? Y/N?
Fuck no.

>Where do you save what's left
Room hole. That seems like a safe place to me.
>>
>>1476916
>Definitely buy Sax after school tomorrow
>Don't tell Mom
>Ask Hekapoo; might as well use the event to brag about how we achieved Undead Gundam
>FUCKING BRAG ABOUT IT TO EVERYONE AT SCHOOL.

>Also, consider a Safe for Swamp Safe-House.
>>
>>1476923
I'll second this
>>
>>1476916
>BUY SAX - Y
>TELL MOM - N
>ASK HEKAPOO - Y (ASK ON HEADBOOK; SEND AN INSTANT MESSAGE. ALSO ASK FOR INTER-DIMENSIONAL BANK)
>TELL ANYONE - Maybe Janna, but NO
>>
>>1476916

>Buy Saxophone after school tommorow YES
>Tell Mom? NO
>Ask Hekapoo for Inter-dimensional shopping malls? YES
>Tell anyone? NO

>Stick it in your room-hole
>>
>>1476916
Buy that sax then stash the rest in our swamp.
>>
>>1476916
>Buy Saxophone after school tomm Y
N to everything else. I don't think they take the American dollar in other worlds
>Open a bank account
>>
>>1476916
>Y.
>N.
>Y.
>N.

We have no good way to launder this money, so a bank account is not an option.
The room hole seems like a decent idea, but Mom could find it.
The safe in the swamp seems like the best option here, though I'm sure that there's a better option.
>>
>>1476940
Supportan this.
>>
>>1476916
>>1476923
Yeah, pretty much this.
>>
>>1476916
>Buy Saxophone after school tomm?
Y
>Tell Mom?
N
>Ask Hekapoo for Inter-dimensional shopping malls?
Y
>Tell anyone?
Well, Jackie can be trusted. Maybe if the opportunity casually presents you culd talk about it.
>>
>>1476916
>Buy Saxophone after school tomm Y/N?
Y
>Tell Mom? Y/N?
N
>Ask Hekapoo for Inter-dimensional shopping malls? Y/N?
Y. Publicly via Headbook (so that Star knows too).
>Tell anyone? Y/N?
Jackie.

>Where do you save what's left
Open a bank account
>>
TIE-yum! TO VOUNT THE COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTES!
>>
>>1476939
>>1476940
>>1476944
>>1476941
>>1477008

THE VOTE WINNERS

>Buy Sax
ALL YES

>Tell mom
Y
0
N
8

>Ask about Malls and stash places
Y
8
N
1

Tell Anyone?
Y
1 (Brag to everyone)
N
9

WHERE TO SAVE!
Bank Account
3 votes
ROOM HOLE
2 Votes
IN MAH SWAMP
2 votes


THE PATH IS DECIDED

>You made it home ok, although way later than you wanted
>Mom was asleep in the kitchen
>Cigarette in hand
>She's hit stage two of her withdrawls
>The cravings are too much
>The headaches are getting worse
>So, she's smoking again
>You do her the favor of putting the cig out
>Fuck carrying her to bed
>Muscles made for her butt when you weren't looking
>A: "No!"
>You scold him like a puppy
>A: "Bad! Bad touch!"
>He clearly does not understand
>You found it alittle hard to get to sleep
>So much on your mind
>So much... money
>You certainly could use some things
>New clothes
>Getting your room fixed
>As you sit up in bed the sight of your dad's Transam parked across the street glares through your window
>It's like a monument to his eventual return
>You stare at the cash
>The pile of green papers that he used to control your mom
>Your life
>You know what to do

https://youtu.be/W05cPXpUHGI

>You flop onto your bed and send out a message to your favorite Dimension-Demon
>Hekapoo

>A: "Yo. Can I grill you?"
>H: "That fetish and weird and so are you."
>A: "What? I need help with smthn"
>H: "shoot"
>A: "I made some $$$ and I need to save it."
>H: "aw, cute. You start mowing lawns?"
>She overloads you with demon-faced emojis
>How did she get those?
>There's flexing little red arms and scissor emojis too
>Oh black jesus
>This cancer hurts
>A: "I won the grand prize at Trash-Mania. It's more money than I know what to do with."
>H: "Whoah! Was Man-Can there!? Who's the champ now!?"
>A: "Me."
>H: "...oh."
>More flexing emojis
>H: "Good job, meatsack."
>A: "it was so fuckin rad I made a zombie mech"
>H: "Whoah! How long has it been in your world? You still have Headbook?"
>A: "Like, a week..."
>H: "Whoah. Jeeze, kid you learn fast! You get a new master?"
>A: "N-no...I just sort of did it."
>H: "That's terrifying."
>A: "just like your ass"
>H: "I'mma punch you"
>A: "Haha punch me with your ass!"
>So many stop sign emojis

cont
>>
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>>1477149

>Eventually you learn of the magical world of Inter-dimensional shopping
>Quest Buy
>A citadel, populated by a servant race who's sole function is to slave in the infinite maze of customer value made by their mad-goblin-wizard overlord
>It's pretty brutal
>They have everything
>Magic stuff
>Demon Stuff
>Outer world stuff
>They even take Discover there
>Nice
>Hekapoo says she'll tag along if you wanna shop there
>Doesn't want you getting scammed on fake ghost-heads


>The next day at school you hook up with the bro-bros
>Kill your pre-test work
>Marco still has that poser-arm
>A lot of girls were in tears
>Braddick was dropping out
>His family had decided to pull him from school
>Didn't even let him come in for a last day
>You caught Sabrina looking pretty down at one point
>She was on his mind...you wonder
>A little peek into her head couldn't hurt
>S: "Calm down, girl...it's just a stupid crush. You don't need to win em' all. Oh, who are you kidding? You never win."
>Ow
>Your soul
>You want to help
>Sadly, Pete's Pawn closes staunchly at 4:30pm
>You need to catch a bus
>On the way there you spot no less than 4 of those spooky guys in suits
>Hiding in outdoor potted plants
>Posing as people's dogs
>Why does nobody notice that?
>That lady is walking a grown aryan man in a black suit with dog ears
>He catches you staring
>???: "Bark."
>Nope
>Not right now
>You hop out at Pete's and...
>Whoah, the place isn't burnt down
>When you slap the money on his counter he looks like you've just spit on his only child while it lay in the crib
>He shoves Butter Johnson in your hands
>Then gentlemanly asks you to-
>P: "Fuck off. Get bent...and scram."
>You tip an imaginary hat to him as you exit
>You can barely wait to get your mouth on Johnso-WHOAH
>Whoah
>7 year old you should not have named this Sax
>Maybe a revival is in order...Butter-J 'does' have a brand new set of buttons after all
>A: "Later."
>For now you get to stare in awe at your beautiful baby
>A: "AAaa! I can't take it!"
>You rip the paper off in a frenzy
>People on the bus turn and look
>Your lips close down on the mouthpiece


ROLL CHARISMA!
>>
Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1477169
CHAREESMA
>>
Rolled 16 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1477169
Charisma!
>>
Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1477169
Get it
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1477169
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1477169
>>
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1477169
>>
Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1477149
Rolling.
>>
Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1477169
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>1477169
Let's make some sweet sweet love to our baby.
>>
>>1477180
You broke it.
>>
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>>1477180
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1477169
Play it smoooooooth

>>1477180
You got the wrong vibes, baby
>>
>>1477180
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHWHY
>>
>>1477180
I look away for two fucking seconds. God dammit.
>>
>>1477180
All that work...
And we break the shit, or we forgot how to play the shit completely and make some kid's ears bleed
Either or
>>
>>1475976
>Shame we can't counter with an army of undead due to how we have to sustain each individual summon with Will.

We could probably attempt to pass the gift of necromancy onto some trustworthy individuals to have a undead army.

This is assuming that we can teach others magic in the future
>>
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>>1477180
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1477169
Power invested in me I cancel that nat 1
>>
>>1477219
Good try.
>>
>>1477180
>>1477180

...a critical failure

>All bonuses negated

>You blow
>PFFFFFPPPT
>Everyone on the bus cringes
>A grandmother cracks her dentures
>A cat commits Sudoku with a switchblade it stole from the nearby gang of hoodlums
>You pull back
>Smack yours lips like a southern black-man enjoying his favorite treat
>The Peanutbutter and wassamelone
>Once disgustingly lubricated you go in again
>Ready to destroy this BJ
>Your mind readies smooth jazz symphonies
>Adaptations of great pop songs
>Aha!

https://youtu.be/nF7lv1gfP1Q

>That was...less than good
>A child pats your leg
>C: "I'm sorry you suck."
>You are Anonymous
>Not so good at the Sax anymore
>At least you got the Dosh
>Stacks for the Racks
>Dollar to Hollar
>A nearby gangster is looking at you with clear intent
>A: "Hey."
>G: "Whaddup, lil man?"
>A: "You gonna try something?"
>He reaches for his waistban
>You learned a grown human can fit through a bus window with effort
>Muscles accepts payment in the form of high-fives and shocker pinky handshakes
>You should teach him to hambone
>A text arrives from your Mom
>M: "Hey."
>A: "Ye?"
>M: "Are you...doing anything?"
>A: "Let's stay friends."
>M: "Haha no, my little weirdo I mean like after-school stuff. What are you doing with your life?"
>A: "Uh...well, I got asked to walk onto the Football game tomorrow."
>M: "WHAT!?"
>Mom immediately tries to call you
>Your bus just pulled up to the bank
>Struggling to pay exact change while mishandling a roll of 50s makes you feel like Robert Downy Jr.
>Depressed
>Eventually you explain things to Mom
>She has only one question
>M: "Well, can I come?"
>A: "What in the white nation of hell."
>M: "You're doing a sport! I'm required by Mom law to see it."
>A: "It's not like I'm on the team..."
>M: "I just wanna watch you win and be proud. Won't go unless you say so, honey I promise."
>You're possessed of a memory as you approach the bank counter
>Of your 9th birthday
>When Dad got you weights he stole from a garage sale
>When Mom laughed with him while you struggled to pick up the bar
>That was a long time ago...but your palms still feel the skinless burn

Let mom come to the game?

Also. What say?
>>
>>1477222
Alright fine.
>>
>>1477222
Fuck it fine
>>
>>1477222
Let her come to the game, just don't tell her about the dosh. We need to seriously start a savings account, put 500 or so to the side for spending...

Tell Mom we're just hanging with friends after school if she gets back on that.
>>
>>1477222
Yeah, why not.

>Sure. But keep the soccer-Mom rage to a minimum?
>>
>>1477222
Yes. Invite mom.

>bank stuff.
I want to open an account. The money i got from cutting the lawn is getting harder to stack under the bed. *puppy eyes*
>>
>>1477222
Yeah but no fighting the moms of the other team.
>>
>>1477222
Nice trips Quest.
Say yes, there's no real reason to not let her come.
"Okay Mom, you can watch me suck at Football. Now, I gotta get home soon, love ya."
>>
>>1477222
"Sure, You can even bring Ron"
>>
>>1477260
this
>>
>>1477222
>>1477260
i agree with this
>>
>>1477222
I guess we really...
Blew it
"Yeah sure"
>>
>>1477260
Yep,this sounds good.
>>
>>1477260
You know what? Sure, this.
>>
>>1477260
>Ron might arrest Star
YES PLEASE!
>>
>>1477222
Whatever, you can come.
>>
>>1477260
Why not, supporting.
>>
>>1477306
This
>>
>>1477285
yus


Also we might wanna go looking for Brad tonight. It's only been a day since we've thrown him to Australia, yeah?

He HAS to be tired out by now. And he still has one fly on him.
>>
>>1477322
>And he still has one fly on him.
Pretty sure there's no fly.

Otherwise we'd have a -1 WILL
>>
>>1477322
>Look for brad
>Not comfort Sabrina
Come on son
Do better
>>
>>1477322
Are we even sure it as Brad we dropped there? Could have been someone else with his jacket and he's leaving for tangentially related reasons.
>>
>>1477322
Brad was the werewolf? I thought we never found out who the werewolf was.
>>
>>1477330
1 fly is free now thanks to our upgrade
>>
>>1477383
It's pretty obvious Brad's the werewolf
>>
Our jazz was so bad it killed Quest.
>>
>>1477550
Is there a ritual for summoning Quest? A phrase, an image? We need to get some kind of hoodoo priest in here stat to start drawing pentagrams and shit.
>>
>>1477571
There are votes to be counted.
>>
>>1477577
Every vote is yes.
>>
>>1477571
>>1477577
>>1477584

The double have summoned me...
Work has finally released it's grasp on my Questy Fingers

LET US COUNT
>>
What bands or songs would anon have on his phone?
I'll begin with audioslave.
>>
>>1477593
Metallica, probably Floyd and Queen
>>
>>1477260
>>1477260

With shocking support...

>A: "Is Ron gonna be there?"
>M: "What? Hell no, sweetie I wouldn't embarass you wi-"
>A: "Cause he can come too."
>M: "...I-I'll see if he's free.'
>Some part of your brain knows your mom is real pretty for her age
>Hell, she was pretty at every age if your family albums are to be believed
>It's funny seeing how she handles people now
>Mumbling
>No eye contact
>Your mom may very well be the source of your Spaghetti
>Despite being the kind of woman that Chad's in their early 40s dream about
>She hangs up first
>The teller addresses you
>T: "Hello, young man! How can I help you toda-"
>HWACK!
>She whips around, nervously checking her rear
>Muscles has already returned from behind the counter
>You're pretty much numb to his victim's pain by now
>When she turns around you're holding 8.9 gs in your left hand
>A: "I need a box for these."
>She has to call her manager
>Muscles slap-adaps his ass too
>Alpha as a Centauri, my dude
>Justin calls once you're finished with your bidness
>J: "Bro-heeeem! You stoked?"
>You examine your new dark green debit card in the sun
>A: "Totally."

>Justin invites you to come hang with the bro-squad
>Says it's tradition for everyone to chill at the field before the home game
>He promises light beer and the presence of at least three cheerleaders
>You never took Justin for a drinker
>Eh, even the math club drinks beer when they're feeling spicy
>Can't be too surprised

>There's other things you could be doing tonight...
>Messing with Zombina
>Spending Cash in other dimensions
>D-doing pushups?
>Nah
>Can't even half-ass that lie to yourself
>Still, Justin has been a real cool guy
>Not minding your 'Tism
>Spreading trust amongst bro kind
>Might be fun
>Normal, cool kid stuff...


What do?
>>
>>1477616
Hangout with the bros. Adventue can and will come later. It always does.
>>
>>1477616
K then,lets go with our bro.
>>
>>1477616
YEAH BRO
LETS GO HANG WITH THE BREHS
and also maybe talk to sabrina
>>
>>1477616
>Hang with the Bros
We can bugout if things go badly, or if a Free EXP creature appears.
>>
>>1477616
We rejected it last time so why not
>>
>Shop at Quest Buy.
I want my magical items nigga.
>>
>>1477616
I guess we'll just hang out with the bros.
>>
>>1477616
Prolly gonna loose this, but let's go shoppin' with Big Sis Heckapoo. I wanna spend MONEY!
>>
>>1477616
Might as well hangout. We can practice or at least learn the rules of the game.
>>
>>1477626
Bro Down
and if we have time shopping with hekapoo
>>
>>1477616
Yeah. Let's go.

However, can we try to sneak Zombina close by? Say on standby in a sewer near the party? Just in case we need her; we don't want her to be stuck at our house when we need an ally.

Ask Hekapoo on Headbook too if you can shop with her later tonight after the celebration.
>>
>>1477616
We need to find a place to research swamp Drakes. ASAP
>>
>>1477616

Sure, let's hang out. Why not ask if Alfonzo wants to come along, or if he could get an invite too? Always need a nerd to equal out the BRORATIO.
>>
>>1477616
>do pushups

DO IT FAGGOT
>>
>>1477640
Think Hekapoo could give us some tips when we shop with her?
>>
>>1477616
We've been putting him off long enough.

Let's hang out!
>>
>>1477616
Hang with the boys.
>>
>>1477616
Let's hang out with the BOYZ. We don't get many opportunities for stuff like this. We can go to Quest Buy after the game, or tomorrow morning if we're real desperate.
>>
>>1477644
Def. Maybe we could just buy Drake scale armor there.
>>
>>1477616
Hang with bros
>>
>>1477616
Shopping with Hekapoo
>>
>>1477616
bro-time
>>
>>1477616
go with the bros
>>
>>1477616
Lets go bro it up
>>
>>1477647
>>1477642
Supporting these.
>>
>>1477616
Brad's still in the middle of Australia.

We don't handle that in the next 2-3 days, he's probably dead
>>
>>1477728
He's still a werewolf when we last saw him and he was heading towards a nearby city.
>>
>>1477728
>>1477734
I wonder how pissed he'll be.

Does he even remember what happens during his shifts?
>>
UPDATE POST
Thanks for chilling tonight, everyone. Work was slamming and it kept me from going at my usual speed.

THE VOTES

>Bros
18 votes

>Shopping
3 votes

>Zombina Shenanigans
2 votes


THE PATH IS DECIDED


>A: "Let's do it."
>J: "Fukyuaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh-"

https://youtu.be/15qFDdYTUFI?list=RDMMrU8Wc6a1r7o

>That night, you run to school at about 9:30 pm
>Justin's waiting in the parking lot with Coach's keys
>Sick
>Moobs is the next to arrive with Blake who's subbing in for Braddick
>The girls won't be around for at least a half hour
>Brittney's dad is driving them, apparently
>Weird
>This leaves the four of you at the football field with all the lights and no supervision
>You post up on the bleachers
>Moobs brought his own beer and is three cans in before anybody sits down
>J: "Pace yourself, dude. Don't wanna be hungover tomorrow."
>M: "How- how can I-"
>Moobs is a lightweight
>Ha
>Justin helps him find a good seat, and puts his precious Dark Lager back in his lap
>Ed finally asks the obvious after a long, comfortable silence
>E: "So, like. How are you gonna help us win again?"
>It's directed at you
>A: "Me?"
>E: "Yeah you're 5' foot I don't even know and built like a Gumbi."
>A: "You're one to talk you damn scarecrow."
>E: "Hey! I'm built for speed. What're you built for?"
>M: "Watching Niggers fuck his wife at 30 pffffff-"
>Your glare at Moobs is accompanied by Justin slapping him in the back of the skull
>J: "You're trashed, dude."
>The blondest of you all even knows better than Moobs
>Justin finally passes you a fresh can of the Light Beer
>J: "You wanna try being chill, Anon?"
>It'd be your first beer
>Not your first drink...
>Dad kind of force-fed you Jack Daniels once when you were 4
>You were a happy drunk back then

Drink before the girls get here?

Y/N?
>>
>>1477809
Nope
Gotta stay lucid
We spill our spaghetti enough while sober
>>
>>1477809
Nah, who knows what Muscles would be like drunk
>>
>>1477809
>Kindly and respectfully decline the offer
>>
>>1477809
Take it, but don't drink quite yet. No need to be hasty here.
>>
>>1477809
>"Nah man, that stuff ain't for me."
>>
>>1477809
"Nah, I'm stupid enough without it."
>>
>>1477809
Y
>>
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34 KB
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>>1477809
>Car throwing necromancer with teleportation scissors
>Alcohol

NOPE
>>
>>1477809
No thanks.
>>
>>1477809
>N
Nah man
>>
>>1477809
Y.
>>
>>1477809
Nah, tell him we'll do it when the girls arrive.

Better than getting shitfaced and discouraging the sober gals.
>>
>>1477809
Y
>>
File: download (4).jpg (4 KB, 225x225)
4 KB
4 KB JPG
>All these losers saying no

Honestly, you need to let loose. It's a quest on 4chan, you squares.

Marco isn't the eternal safe kid, you are.
>>
>>1477809
Not yet. Wait for the girls to show up before we get drunk
>>
>>1477809
Y
Let's see what happens.
>>
>>1477828
>Calling Anon a safe kid
>After he just got done fighting a tashomancer with an undead mech.
>You want this kid to get drunk and try to impress his buddies while having almost no control over his powers and a dimensional scissor he doesn't even understand how to work properly?
>>
>N
>>
>>1477828
Bruv, you never get drunk at a party before the party arrives. That's a one way ticket to making you look like an ass.

Let's wait till we get some more folks in.
>>
>>1477809

What >>1477829 said.

Wait until the girls arrive to get drunk.
>>
>>1477828
Fucking this, but pace ourselves. No need to get hammered like poor moons over here.
>>
>>1477809
It's a light beer. We probably have the tolerance and will to nurse it through the night
>>
>>1477809
>"Nah man. Gotta keep Muscles under control."

Introduce them to your trump card.
>>
>>1477847
This is smart, supporting.
>>
>>1477828
DUDE
BEER
LMAO
xD
120 PROOF IT
>>
>>1477845
>Nursing a drink which tastes like urine even under optimal conditions.
If we're going to drink it at all we should chug it down as rapidly as humanly possible, at least then the taste will be at its least bad.
>>
Voting begins here...now.

Always
>>
>>1477854
"Nah that shit tastes like piss"
>>
>>1477854
Have a few sips just to join in but don't go wild with the stuff until there's girls and you're being dared to.
>>
>>1477864
Supporting.
>>
>>1477854
Show off Muscles, saying you gotta keep this monster under control or who knows who's gonna get slapped.
>>
>>1477864
THIS.
>>
We're gonna get attacked by Ludo when we're piss drunk, aren't we?
>>
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>>1477884
Naaaaah, Muscles will just rape some of the girls and break Justin's neck when he tries to stop us.
>>
>>1477820
>>1477818
>>1477815
>>1477824
>>1477827
>>1477831
>>1477847


THE VOTES
>Yes
5 votes

>No
13 votes

>Other
4 votes


>You raise up your hand and shake your head without opening your eyes
>A: "I can barely keep my shit in line sober. I'll wait til I need to get loose."
>J: "Haha, cool man. I gotta pregame before I unwind."
>Justin pulls out a bottle opener from his keys and shotguns his can
>It took him like three gulps
>Then he smashes the empty can on Moob's head
>M: "Ah! Not cool!"
>J: "What's not cool is how shitty and racist you get when you're drunk, Moober."
>A: "Moober!?"
>M: "Awww ffff- c'mon guysh."
>Blake nearly chokes on the N0S he brought to sip between beers
>A: "Your fucking nickname is Moober? Haha I'm gonna have you on a hitlist for flaming me while being a fuck-boi."
>Moobs tries to Alpha up
>M: "You fuckin' twerpy kike pull your shirt off."
>You're too sober for this
>You laugh at Moobs while Muscles slaps the ground, flipping you down to the field
>A: "Sure, dude! C'mon!"
>You start doing Muscles-only pushups in a full head to ground handstand
>A: "Huh? Whassa matter? Closeted homosexuality kickin' in? Or are you getting Step-dad flashbacks because you know I'll slap ur shit and fuck your mom?"
>Justin is fucking dead in his seat
>Blake has given up on his energy drink
>Moobs looks like he might cry but also throw up and also fight you
>He does none of the above, fuming in his seat
>J: "C'mon, Moober you can't dish it out if you can't take it."
>B: "You just can't flame is your problem, J-money."
>J: "Aye. It's Bruh-stinian now."
>Justin gives you the nod
>It's not the nickname you gave him but damn
>He got it from you
>A: "Haha, I bet you could try."
>???: "Hey, boys."
>You gawk up toward the voice

https://youtu.be/sHFv4LJWnhc?t=3

>Brittney
>J: "Hey, Britt."
>You get a rare sight
>Brittney smiling
>Br: "Q-B."
>QB?
>Oh
>She calls Justin by his damn title
>Quarterback
>Ha fucking ha
>Always about rank
>You spot two others with her
>Sabrina
>...and the -only- male cheerleader on the squad
>Ed
>Whowr
>Three Cheerleaders
>M: "Aw. Why's Ed here?"
>Brittney is on that shit like a fox on an open henhouse
>Br: "Cause he's on the team. Why? You thought we were bringing more girls?"
>M: "Well...yah I-"
>Br: "For who? Tell me, 'Moober.'"
>Aw, fuck Moober's been getting it tonight
>You thought you were gonna be the whipping post in this chain gain
>M: "Well, duh it's Pre-game we gotta-"
>Br: "I'm gonna stop you right there."
>Brittney has shushed a dude roughly three times her size
>He hasn't even complained
>This is the power of the Queen Bitch
>Br: "Justin. We're blowing this place."
>J: "Wha? This is tradition tho...my brother woul-"
>Br: "Your brother -graduated- last year, Justin."
>She leans on him
>Gives him the eyes
>Br: "This is a new age."
>She smiles again
>Br: "Our age."
>She stands up, letting the wind push her black hair against the night sky
>Br: "My age."

>Whuh-crack
>How has her neck not broken by now?

cont
>>
Rolled 17 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1477894
>>
>>1477897
Mewgga, what're you even rolling CHA for?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>1477894

>Now that the grills have arrived...
>CRRR-sssk!
>You crack open a bear
>Then, once you've disposed of the 900lb body you open your beverage
>The sound pulls all eyes to you
>You look at them for only a second or two, realizing pretty fast that none of the cheerleaders noticed you until now
>You pull the can to your lips...

ROLL CON!

1d20 + 5!
>>
>>1477901
Wait for it
>>
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477902
And here's your crit fail.
>>
Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477902
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>1477902
>>
Rolled 9 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477902
>1d20 + 5!
OH GOD WE CAN'T FUCK THIS UP
>>
Rolled 13 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477902
HOLD IT!
>>
Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477901
>>1477902
>>1477904
Oh, it was a CON check. my bad

>>1477905
You critically failed your crit fail :'(
I expect an average roll. Like 14 or 8.
>>
Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477902
>>
Rolled 4 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477902
And here's your crit.
>>
Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477902
COME ON
LETS BUT THEM DEAD BEAT GENES TO GOOD USE
>>
Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477902
>>
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477902
Rolling, Hope I don't crit fail again.
>>
>>1477905
Well well well.
Too bad it wasn't something with actual punch as opposed to water who's distant grandparent might have been alcohol. Then we would have actually looked cool.
>>
>>1477917
Fuck. Yes.

You're redeemed.
>>
Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477905
or not, holy shit man....
>>
>>1477917
noice, we resist alcohol.

Must be from being around it so often.
>>
File: 1486281460650.gif (309 KB, 460x351)
309 KB
309 KB GIF
>>1477917
>>
File: Georgy.png (1014 B, 141x108)
1014 B
1014 B PNG
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477902
POINT YOUR FINGERS, AND GO AAAAAY!
>>
Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477922
Also rollan.
>>
Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1477902
>>
>>1477927
Ya know, it's a good fucking thing we got another 7 post before this, AND a 20 to boot.

Because I'd gladly shoot myself at this moment if this post won.
>>
>>1477917
>>
File: cc9.jpg (16 KB, 640x480)
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>>1477927>>1477917


Holy shit that was close.
>>
>>1477927
Git fukt on Georgy.
>>
>>1477935
It happens to the best of us, man.
>>
File: 1494868679204.jpg (45 KB, 637x360)
45 KB
45 KB JPG
>>1477917
>>
>>1477917
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcGmznn7CrU
>>
>>1477902
>>1477902
WHY DO WE GET CRITS ON THINGS LIKE THIS
>>
File: Georgy.png (4 KB, 228x228)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>1477940
No fucking kidding.

>>1477941
Aw
>>
File: lemmesmash.jpg (32 KB, 600x535)
32 KB
32 KB JPG
>>1477917
Tonight
WE SMASH
>>
>>1477917
>>1477917

CRITICAL!!! SUCCESSS!!!

>The beer hits your mouth
>It's cold
>Clean
>Crisp
>It burns your nostrils
>It sears the gingivitis from your gums
>You feel almost like you're breathing it in than taking gulps
>The smell is weak, a little heady
>Nothing compared to Dad's whiskey
>Nothing at all compared to a set of claws across your stomach
>A trash can to the skull
>Nothing
>You pull back an empty fucking it can
>Crush it
>Throw it up
>Muscles -SWAPS- it like a hockey puck
>It goes between the goal posts
>Justin is shaking his head with an approving smile
>Brittney looks like a Roach just asked her out to dinner
>Moobs is on his phone
>You realize they're staring
>You open your mouth

>A: " https://youtu.be/ZsZAXBSot3k?t=3 "

>People fall from their seats
>Justin from laughter
>Brittney because she took a seat next to Justin and is covering her mouth and nose
>Sabrina is covering her nose but is smiling with tears in her eyes
>Ed is aghast
>Blake stands
>Your eyes meet
>He drops his can of N0S
>Clink!
>Clank!
>Blunk-eh-bun
>Bun
>Bun
>Brrrannnng
>B: "It's on, Anon."
>He heaves into his stomach

>Rolls pic related on his Con

>B: " https://youtu.be/E3XPWTW3-_4?t=21 "
>You're blown backward a little bit
>Justin almost throws up
>Moobs has thrown up
>Brittney finally tries to get a handle on things
>Br: "Ah! Why are you being Grody!?"
>She glares at you
>Br: "You're a bad influence on the student Athletes!"
>You cackle
>A: "Least I look good while doing it."
>Muscles cracks his wrist like a whip
>Brittney doesn't seem to realize when she's being mocked

>You have been challenged

DARE YOU ANSWER THE CALL OF THE INTESTINES, ANON BOY!?

>Burp Contest

Y
N
>>
>>1477972
Pic related
>>
>>1477972
>Y
Lets mess with her some more.
>>
>>1477972
>Burp Contest
YESSSSS!
>>
>>1477972
>You have been challenged.
We have no choice then. We must accept.
>>
>>1477972
Can't back down now fellas. Y.
>>
>>1477972
Yep.
>>
Y
IRON STOMACH
>>
>>1477972
It may be fun but least try to find something the whole group can Enjoy.
Aka. Lets not be discussing pigs right now GIRLS ARE WATCHING GOD DAMN IT.
>>
>>1477972
N

Enjoy some beer, talk with Sabrina or Brittney or Justin.

Just chillax.
>>
>>1477972
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0LtcEw0BUp0
>>
>>1477972
THIS IS AFFRONT ON OUR HONOR

ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE
>>
>>1477987
You're right, we shouldn't be discussing pigs. Instead we should be having a burping contest.
>>
>>1477972
Brittney's the only one not enjoying this.

So yes, absolutely.
>>
>>1477972
We're going to immediately lose due to a crit fail, but why not?
>Y
>>
>>1477972
Shots have been fired.

We will answer.
>>
>>1477987
Man, sporty girls love this shit, they just won't show it.
>>
>>1477972
>Y
>>
>>1477972
Sure, why stop now?
>>
>>1477972
>N
I say we just congratulate him on his burp and keep having a good night, not make it all about gas
>>
>>1477972
OH IT'S ON NOW.
>>
>1477992
What the fuck are yo-
Holy shit how embarassing
Welp I've been btfo

>>1477972
>>1477987
Changing to Yes for the burping contest
Cause why the fuck not.
>>
>>1477990
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0LtcEw0BUp0

Haha

>>1478005
>>1477997
>>1477985
>>1477983
>>1477980

>A: "Justin! Throw me another!"
>You drop the shit Justin tosses you so hard
>Damn slippery cans
>This, of course just leads you down the bleachers
>Into the stadium proper and out onto the field
>Blake leaps down the seats, bashing and crashing like Godzilla at a noodle shop until he reaches you on the grass
>B: "Ready to get gassed?"
>A: "I'm only white enough to unironically say -gosh- twice a year so that was inevitable anyways."
>You hold up your beer
>Blake retrieves a luke-warm Monster from his cargo shorts
>Cargo Shorts
>Lame
>He offers his arm to you
>Odd
>A: "Miss me with that, bruh."
>B: "Dude, it's team mate stuff c'mon."
>J: "C'mon, dude! I wanna see if his 'back' blows out!"
>Brittney is pretty stalwartly seated next to Justin
>J-man's gotten more blustery from her presence
>Sabrina's on her other side, nervously looking around
>Ed is on his phone, just like Moob
>Moob glances over at him
>Ed, without looking up just shakes his head and says 'no way'
>Then pockets his phone
>Moob looks like he'll turn purple
>You turn back to your adversary
>Blake Lemons
>Without Braddick he's the tallest and fastest guy on the team
>He's only a little bit of a dick
>Now, he's offering to link arms while you load up for battle


Accept?

Y/N
>>
>>1478020
Of course we accept.
Yo, team chug?
Team chug.
>>
>>1478020
>Accept the offer
>>
>>1478020
Why would we not accept?

Do it.
>>
>>1478020
THIS IS ABOUT TO GET FUCKING MANLY
>Accept
>>
>>1478020
Yes, but you gotta no homo first
>>
>>1478032
Hahn! Support.
>>
>>1478020
Accept.
>>
I'm starting to understand a bit more about this male rivalry thing.
It's not rivalry at all is it, it's friends doing things they enjoy together, and you enjoy randomly challenging each-other.
>>
>>1478032
Nothing gay about a bit of horse play between the boys
>>
>>1478032
If you're that worried, you could always just mind read.
>>
>>1478039
That's what it's supposed to be. You get dudes who take it too seriously and dudes who don't take it serious enough and they throw the whole thing out of whack some times.
>>
>>1478053
Brah, we're just fuckin' around with him. Just as he's fucking around with us. Pre-game shenanigans is all. Treating it like... i dunno... insta-team bonding rep points since we don't show up for practice with them, like, every day.
>>
>>1478020
Yes, but no homo
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>1478025
>>1478026
>>1478028
>>1478055
>>1478033
>>1478034
>>1478032
>>1478031

>Something new and magical has come your way
>Yours
>The guy constantly getting mobbed by new magical shit and hating it
>Could this be...
>You lock Muscles' elbow around Blake's
>You both tip backward
>A: "Not gonna kiss me, are yah?"
>B: "Not even in your dreams, short-stuff."
>J: "Chug. Chug. Chugchug! CHUG!CHUG!CHUG!"
>The chant Justin starts begins to grow
>First Ed
>Shocking
>Then Sabrina because she likes the idea of just having fun
>Then Moob, kind of relieved to not be the center of attention
>Brittney Rolls her eyes
>Justin nudges her
>She cracks a little smirk
>Br: "Woo~ go boys, go. I guess."
>Haha, community
>That first beer was easy
>This one's a little...

ROLL CON!
>>
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
>inb4 crit fail
>>
Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
>>
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
8
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>1478067
>>
Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
>>
Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
Oh boy I sure hope I don't ruin everything with my bad attitude
>>
Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
Swiggity Swole nigga watch me roll.
>>
Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478068
Look at how a man RUINS a roll.
>>1478067
>>1478067
>>
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478068
that's what you get for putting the inb4, friend :/
>>
Rolled 15 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
Calling it; Got a 15

>>1478068
How?
>>
Huh, we rolled a 11.
Someone find us a +3 somewhere
>>
Rolled 13 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
ROLLIN'!
>>
>>1478079
13 huh
Well lets keep rolling
We only need one 20 to pass if its a DC of 15
>>
Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
DICE!
>>
Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
>>
Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
come on get that nat 20 to negate the 1!
>>
>>1478083
Actually, you need two 20s because of me.
>>
Rolled 17 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
>>
Rolled 9 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478087
I already rolled so this doesn't count
>>
Rolled 12 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478083
>>1478067

Does a second roll count?

I used my prediction powers already on 15, I can't call a 20
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>1478067
>>
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
Daddy needs a new liver
>>
>>1478096
Thanks doc
>>
>>1478091
Nah, Quest wants only 1 roll per person to stop them from flooding the thread with random rolls.
>>
>>1478096
A Savior emerges!
>>
>>1478096
Ok great one more please
>>
Rolled 15 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478078
>>
Rolled 13, 19, 1, 5, 5, 10, 17, 12, 17 = 99 (9d20)

>>1478101
:^)
>>
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
Don't mess up...
>>
Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1478067
Rollan.
>>
Rolled 17 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>
>>1478079
>>1478079
THE WINNER!

>13

>>1478068
-2!

>>1478096
+2!

>13 total

https://youtu.be/ZEvQOPUHGH8

>Oh man
>Aw- aw geeze Anon
>The suds
>The burn
>You half-belch while you're trying to swallow
>A: "BRR-BRech!"
>It makes singing foam come flying out of your nose
>A: "Shit!"
>You laugh through it and continue
>Blake loses his balance a little
>Then clenches his arm tight
>Slowly, he starts to try and stand
>Ha
>haha
>He thinks he can lift you
>Muscles just don't fucking move
>You're drinking with gravity while he cucks Blake out of his show of strength
>The shock of not being able to hoist your beer away makes him slip
>Monster sprays across the grass
>You're both soaked in alchohol and energy drink
>He burps so hard he throws up
>Ed applauds from his seat
>Justin gives you both a standing ovation
>M: "Hey, Anon! Give us the show stopper!"
>You lost a little gas from that near-hurl
>Still, may as well give it a shot
>You're gonna hurl your guts after this teeth rattling belch
>Or, at least you would have
>BRRack! CHING CHING!
>Something just went boom
>Something big
>In-
>J: "The lockers..."
>Justin is running the fuck over there
>At full speed
>Dude
>He was -ready-
>Brittney tried to stop him
>Nearly got trucked
>She huffs after Sabrina catches her, choosing to stand on her own and straighten her hair
>Sabrina comes down the steps
>S: "What's going on?"
>You don't know
>A: "I don't know."
>Wow
>Astute, fucker
>A: "I'm gonna find out."
>You start marching for the locker room
>Only the worst on your mind
>Could it be Ludo? Come back for more?
>Could it be some kind of lurker from the hole?
>A Drake?
>A serpent?
>One of Tom's demons?
>Just as you enter the lockers and the smell of Football STANK hits you get a clearer picture emerges from the gloom
>Eight huge forms
>Grown men
>No- no wait that one has zits
>The other one's got a half stache
>These are teens
>In grey football uniforms
>Ganging up on Justin
>They are the largest Teenagers you've ever laid eyes on
>They don't speak
>One just grunts to the rest, who drop Justin and move for you
>One in the back is making off with a box
>J: "Anon! They got it!"
>A: "Got what!?"
>J: "Our mascot! They got the suit!"
>Oh shit
>You're about to be Gooned in the lockers by the enemy team
>The Silver Hill Warriors

>You are Anonymous
>You're officially tipsy

>A: "https://youtu.be/2dwX-Jbk8nI "

WHAT DO!?
>>
>>1478123
Have Muscles grab heavy object. Threaten to smash.
>>
>>1478123
We're not so wasted we can't let loose.
>>
>>1478123
RUSH PAST THESE GUYS USING MUSCLES TO PUSH THEM AWAY AND GO STRAIGHT FOR THE GUY WITH THE SUIT
>>
>>1478123
Flip their shit right off this planet.
>>
>>1478123
Stretch muscles to get the suit!
Then threaten to burn the motherfuckers!
>>
>>1478123
BEAT THEM! Beat them and show them what happens when you mess with our bro!
>>
>>1478123
Use Muscles to detain these guys
>>
>>1478123
>Self-Combust to scare off the others
>Chase after the guy with the costume
>>
>>1478123
FUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuck
Welp time to get all stretch Armstrong up in this bitch
Grab the suit and run to more open ground
>>
>>1478138
I think you've got the right idea anon. But we're not built for speed. Ed is (his words, anyways). Have him forward scout/obtain it while we deal with these brutes.
>>
>>1478146
>not built for speed
Maaan, Muscles catapulted us so fast we could slap an airplane. What's to stop him from just catapulting us through the school to stop the guy?
>>
>>1478150
touché. maybe nothing to worry about, but figured since we're 'officially tipsy', fine motor control for something like that (if we're tipsy, does that mean Muscles is tipsy too?).
>>
>>1478136
To continue on my vote with the SECRET DEMON PATH let's be sure to cripple a few of them while beating them up. Give us an edge tomorrow.
>>
>>1478123
Smack them aside, I'm pretty sure normal people can't do shit to us
>>
>>1478157
>implying the true SUPER SECRET SATAN PATH is to not cripple them; that way the game happens, the traps set off, and Star gets arrested by Ron
>>
>>1478123
GET LIT

AS in combust and chase after them as the dude who was on fire
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>1478126
>>1478128
>>1478130
>>1478131
>>1478132
>>1478136
>>1478137
>>1478138
>>1478139
>>1478150
>>1478154
>>1478157
>>1478162

>Your WILL snaps into muscles!
>YOU READY YOURSELF FOR BATTE-eh
>Ehhh
>Eehhh wooo
>Where is your brain?
>Your face?
>Something is wrong
>Muscles writhes for a second
>He "looks" at you
>Realizing two things
>1. You're no seasoned drinker
>2. You can't command him as well when you're drunk
>A: "Muscles..."
>Oh
>A: "Muscles N-"

>MUSCLES SNAPS HIMSELF ACROSS THE ROOM
>Straight into the guy with the Possum Suit
>SHR-krunch!
>That guy actually dodged Muscles
>W1: "Uh! Wow! Big arm!"
>Holy dogshit on a stick he is stupid
>Fast
>Strong
>Tough
>Stupid

>You hear pounding footsteps come up from behind
>A lanky ball of anger comes sailing over your head!
>BLAKE HAS ENTERED THE BATTLE

>He comes in hard
>Swinging his long arms with surprising speed he starts pounding into one of the meat-walls
>Then the next
>They barely move but dang
>DANG!
>Moobs stumbles in
>Immediately he puts his dukes up
>One of the Gorillas smashes him in the nose
>M: "BURRRRRRRRRRRRRP!"
>MOOB FEELS NO PAIN!
>This isn't like your other fights
>You've got a squad
>It's gang shit!

https://youtu.be/X8m7JAby8j4

>You try to bring Muscles back in line
>He argues hard, knuckling the concrete
>He wants blood
>He wants...toast?
>Toast with syrup and like eighteen fried eggs
>You're tipsy
>Muscles is angery and drunk
>He suddenly freezes
>His fingers aim toward the rear of the plumpest Silver Hill Warrior
>You meet his eyes
>A: "No homo."
>W2: "Wha-?"

TRY TO CONTROL MUSCLES!?

Y - ROLL WILL

N- ROLL DEX!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1478171
N
>>
Rolled 1 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1478171
>Yes
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>1478172
N
>>
File: 14933911914.png (685 KB, 636x676)
685 KB
685 KB PNG
Rolled 6 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1478171
NO
>>
Rolled 10 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1478171
Y
>>
Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1478171
NO!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>1478171
Nah fuck it lets grab ass
We'll explain later
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1478171
N
>>
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1478171
Nah, these guys fucked with us just when we were having fun.
>>
>>1478179
>>1478179

WINNER!

>5 + 0 (Since Muscles is not currently lending his dex)

>5 total

>>1478178
-2
>>1478173
-2

...1 total

Writing
>>
File: 1493861619211.png (459 KB, 519x483)
459 KB
459 KB PNG
>>1478188
Well then.

At least we aren't sober for this.
>>
>>1478188
>>1478188

>CLARIFICATION

>>1478173
>This crit fail was for the Will roll

>The total dex roll is 3


>You don't even try to stop Muscles
>Your heart pounding has made tipsiness into a swirl of nausea
>You watch
>Muscles launches himself at that poor bastard like a python on his first mouse
>You can't look away
>You're frozen in horror as your arm
>Goes
>Up
>His
sweet booty-hole

https://youtu.be/WQ2cA2k4lYs

>Muscle's movements are slow and purposeful
>The football player is screaming at a pitch wayyy too high pitched for his size and obvious Testosterone abuse
>W3: "UUaah! AAAH! YEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
>Justin takes advantage of the distraction, leaping up onto his feet
>He goes for the guy with the box!

>WHAM!
>They struggle like sumo wrestlers!
>Justin tries to get to the box for all he's worth
>His massive opponent stiff arms him off
>CRACK!
>Then headbutts him
>Justin starts bleeding from the nose
>He pulls back and cracks his opponent himself!
>WUhCRACK!
>Ooof
>Not the first hit...but the last
>J-dog has the box
>J: "Who's receiving!?"
>You throw your hand up without thinking
>Justin hurls the box your way
>Just before it gets to you
>Right before it's in your hands
>The locker-room steel bench comes swinging from out of view
>BRANG!
>Your vision goes purple
>You did a flip into the grass outside

>ANON HAS TAKEN FIFTEEN DAMAGE
>ANON IS AT 35 HEALTH

>Blake is still trying to fight like three guys at once
>Blake, you don't even lift
>Still, his moves are blazingly fast
>He ducks two of them
>Leaps the next
>Puts three hard hits into the last one
>None of his hits are hard...but the few he takes afterward
>WHAM CRACK BAF!
>Don't seem to faze him
>You're so fucked
>Almost as fucked as Moob
>He faked like he was gonna puke on his guy
>He didn't
>So he tried tackling him
>Nope
>He got hip tossed into the lockers
>Moob still just gets right back up, wobbling away
>Tough dipshit
>Brittney actually comes running from the bleachers
>Br: "Get the FUDGE outta here, you Mooks! My dad has like six cops on payroll! I'LL CALL THEM! I'LL DO IT!"
>She raises on manicured nail
>Lightning strikes in some far off land of sound effects

cont
>>
>>1478212
>>1478212

>The Warriors are stunned
>W4: "P-please don't."
>One says in a voice that resembles a cookies n cream mascot
>W4: "My dad's a Sargent. He'll kill me."
>Brittney gives him the eye
>That evil eye
>She starts trying to just leave
>W4: "I-i-I gotta go! Guys! C'mon guys let's just go!"
>PSSSSSSSHHH
>Sabrina is here
>Greg too
>They're both holding the fire hose and blasting the guys refusing to leave
>Blake is still juking
>Moob finally throws up
>Justin makes a call
>J: "Anon! You ok?"
>His eyes burn
>Just like your forehead
>You can feel the way he's looking at you
>Wow
>Is nobody gonna help that kid -clearly- being raped in the corner?
>Ok

>Justin will continue this fight if these jackoffs hurt you

>What say?
>>
>>1478214
"Whatever you do, keep the suit safe."
>>
>>1478214
"Im ok"
Bfb the raped kid.
>>
>>1478214
"I'm fine"
>>
>>1478214
Not only do I say encourage him to fight for us, but use the guy Muscle's is raping as a weapon to help!
>>
>>1478214
Play defensive. All we need to do is protect the box.
>>
>>1478221
No-God dammit. You don't heal your enemies mid fight!
>>
Get that stupid arm under control.
Roll will. Nod otherwise.
>>
>>1478214
"I swear it's the booze."
>>
>>1478214
"I've had worse days."

Proceed to have flashbacks of the last week to the theme of 'Happy days'
>>
>>1478227
Never mind. Fuck my stupidity.

Supporting offensively BfBing the guy.
>>
>>1478214
I think we're no longer invited to the big game.

Tell Justin to take the box and run for all he's worth, we don't want to sully his pure mind any more than we have
>>
Changing vote to offensively BfBing the kid we fisted.
>>
>>1478232
This
>>
The final count of the session...it begins!
>>
>>1478220
>>1478221
>>1478223
>>1478224
>>1478226
>>1478230
>>1478231


>You crack your famous gallows grin
>Blood seeps down your nose
>A: "Guy hits like a bitch."
>You flop your head back onto grass
>A: "Don't get cocky scrubs, my dad owns Bungie and I'll get you banned."
>Man, you are drunk
>You look back up at Justin, giving him what he needs to hear
>J: "Don't let em' get out of here with our shit. They came to wrong house, fool."
>You raise your left fist
>A: "Go Awesome Possoms."
>M: "GOpAWsome!"
>Fucking Moob
>Something clicks in your brain
>About your injuries
>About your magic
>Muscles feels your thoughts
>He lurches into stillness, actually waiting for your signal
>A: "Hey, dude."
>You get sniffling as a response
>A: "Remember when I said No-Homo?"
>W3: "Wah?"
>A: "Little Homo."

>BLOOD FOR BLOOD ACTIVATES
>Muscles doubles his efforts on mashing that ass
>You feel some of it
>Mainly when the blood start to flow
>Your eyes close...
>So does the wound on your skull
>Your body feels hot
>Almost better than the small buzz you got from those two beers
>Your senses sharpen
>You stand, Muscles withdraws from the guy you're pretty sure is named 'Betty' now
>He makes a 'Shhh' finger on his quivering face
>Jesus

>ANONYMOUS HAS GAINED 6 HEALTH

>ANONYMOUS IS AT 41 HP

>A: "Now. Get off my field. Or Brittney's dad will get you arrested..."
>You pose
>Muscles Poses with you
>A: "Right after I kick your ass!"

https://youtu.be/W-4AE4ZRtJ8

SESSION END!

Next session tomorrow at 3:30pm U.S. Central Time!
>>
>>1478261
Did we rape that jock hard enough to turn him gay?
>>
>>1478261
I feel dirty in the best way, awesome some Quest.

>>1478263
We's going to have hot, shameful thoughts about being dominated and taken from behind for the rest of his life.

Dudes' gonna spend a fortune on hookers willing to use strap-ons.
>>
Good session
>>
Man, that guy with the bench hit us hard enough to kill a nerd.
>>
>>1478268
I really messed up that post, but hey I figured fisting a highschool boy was as good a time as any to start drinking hard.

So anyone have any idea what the fallout from that little bit of fun will be?

Wait oh god Ron is gonna be one of the cops Brittany calls in isn't he.
>>
>>1478285
>A dirtied hand; get it washed soon.
>Cops arriving on the scene (possibly)
>Marco not showing off by saving the mascot (Fuck 'im)
>Until we're fully healed, possible disadvantages in the game
>Giving the ass-raped football player a fractured ass after BfB-ing him
>>
I just binge-read this quest, and I gotta say, it's really fucking good. Reminds me a lot of the old Kill la Kill quests.
>>
>>1478533
>Reminds me a lot of the old Kill la Kill quests.
There's such a thing?
>>
>>1478601
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=kill+la+kill

Thank me later, one of the best quests ever imo
>>
SESSION START

>You are Anonymous
>The Phenomynomenonymous
>You're 14 years old
>At least for the next three weeks
>You're going to play Football for the first time tomorrow
>With your new brethren
>Unfortunately, during the new season celebration your rival team broke into the Lockers
>To steal your school Mascot
>The Awesome Possum
>Everybody's gonna be sore tomorrow
>Provided you don't all get manhandled by these titanic Silver Hill Prep goons
>Go Possums
>Fuck
>Your skull
>Go Possums
>Why can't you stay out of a fight?
>Brittney's pulled the Trump card
>Her dad owns cops
>She will call those cops
>Half the Goons want to leave
>The other Half are so down to clown they may as well join the circus
>You've fought your way back onto your feet
>Feeling a bit more...resolute
>Sober
>Two beers pass real quick when you're as tough as a kid that fists magic giants
>...and high-school freshman
>Trash Golems
>Man, you are punchy
>This fight has been pure chaos
>Or, at least it was
>Until the final call was made by Brittney
>That's when shit pops off for real

>THE WARRIORS MAKE A BREAK FOR IT!
>Justin dives for the box with your mascot suit!
>WHUMP!
>He misses!
>One of the faster walls of meat has grabbed it!
>They're sprinting for the parking lot!
>You're about to pursue when Justin tosses his keys past your head
>Blake Catches them
>They lock eyes
>J: "Get my ride."
>Blake knows what must be done
>HE SPRINTS OFF LIKE THE WHITE HIGH-SCHOOL AGED USAIN BOLT
>Justin picks up Moob
>Brittney
>...and you
>A: "Wait, why the hell are you carrying me you big motherfucker, I can walk."
>Justin does not seem to have realized this
>He is in full general mode
>Tending to his troops
>Sabrina and Ed are right behind you
>VRRROOOOM!
>The Warriors make it to their wheels
>A: "No! We're letting them get away! J-rock! Drop me! I can beat em'!"
>J: "You don't have to beat em."
>Justin drops you
>Right in front of his running car
>Blake tosses the keys back
>The team mates, the cheer leaders, everybody piles up in Justin's ride
>VRROOOM!

https://youtu.be/ss_rk-RITts

>There's an open seat
>An open road
>Your enemies are fleeing from you
>From your friends
>This fight is different from the others
>Those were all about survival
>Necessity
>This one?
>This one's about GLORY!
>Justin slams the gas once you're in
>Brittney's in his lap
>Sabrina is awkwardly squished up onto you in the passenger seat
>Moob, Blake and Ed are trying their best to take cool seating positions that don't look too homoerotic
>Well, Moob and Blake are anyways
>Ed seems just fine
>You guys caught the Warrior's car about eighteen miles out
>They're using the desert roads
>The backwoods
>No cops out here
>Just wild road and hills
>Justin gets right up on their ass
>Ed: "What do we do now!?"
>Br: "Get their tag! My dad's cops will ruin their lives!"
>B: "They'll never get the suit back!"
>This thing has a sun roof
>So does the Warrior's ride
>You are more bro now than you've ever been

WHAT DO!?
>>
>>1479083
Set their wheels on fire
>>
>>1479083
Hooo boy! Go through the roof and get the suit back!
>>
>>1479083
Let's get comfy with Sabrina and let Justin take the wheel. When we get close we'll start using Muscles.
>>
>>1479083
EXTENDO GRABO! Stretch Muscles out to fuck with the driver! Make him knock 'em out or something!
>>
>>1479083
"Drive me closer; I want to hit them with my fist!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCNPpYAkNKA
>>
I wonder if we can put beer bottle caps inside of muscles and use it as makeshift gun.
>>
>>1479083
Throw beer bottles with muscles at the car
>>
>>1479083
USE MUSCLES TO GRAB ONTO THE WARRIOR'S RIDE

THEN PROPEL YOURSELF ON TOP OF THEM
>>
File: Car-chase1.jpg (2.06 MB, 3384x1892)
2.06 MB
2.06 MB JPG
>>1479160
>
>>1479146
>>1479121
>>1479113
>>1479111
>>1479103
>>1479101

>All sorts of ideas run through your head
>Jumping over
>Blasting them with fire-piss
>Even just warping their minds with magical bullshit
>You know one thing for sure
>You gotta fuck with them
>Fuck with them hard
>You reach back, grabbing a new can of beer
>J: "Geeze, Nondo three beers? You're an animal."
>A: "Heck off."
>You jib back
>Sabrina has to scootch to avoid your butt as you climb out
>You're up on top of a car going 75 miles an hour
>In the desert
>On a school night
>BRACK!
>You crunch some holes in your beer with Muscle's Claws
>Then take aim...
>A: "Just like my mom's action movies."

ROLL DEX!

1d20 + 3
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479185
PLEASE DON'T FUCK UP
>>
Rolled 17 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479185
>>
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479185
Here's to crit fails.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>1479185
The dice...
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479185
BABY SHOWER
>>
Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479185
THROW!
>>
Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479185
AAAAAAAH MOTHERLAND!
>>
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479185
more like her mom getting drunk
>>
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479185
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479185
DO IT
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479185
>>
STOP ROLLING WE ALREADY CRITTED WITH NAT 20
>>
>>1479188
>First roll of the session is a crit
It's all down hill from here
Let's enjoy this while it lasts
>>
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479185
>>
>>1479224
We don't know the roll that he'll take.
>>
>>1479193
>Rolled an 8

>>1479188
>First roll was an 8 AND a 20

Appreciate this roll, boys.

Appreciate it.
>>
File: 7x10_car_flip.jpg (94 KB, 676x500)
94 KB
94 KB JPG
>>1479188
>>1479188
>>1479188

WINNER!

>You're so trashed right now
>Something however...keeps you still

https://youtu.be/g9CyKNT8d-w

>The excitement
>The wind blasting up your nose
>The need to save the day
>You roll Muscle's out like a bull whip!
>WHuh-CRACK!
>Out flies the beer
>Rolling in slow motion
>You shook it well
>It propels straight into the enemy's car
>Bounces off their bull-sized heads!
>PSSSSH!
>W1: "BWAH!"
>W3: "Na! Stop! Grabbit!"
>They're swerving
>Suds going everywhere
>They skid!
>They hit a rock
>Their car...flips
>DIRECTLY OVER YOURS!
>As the car ascends you lock eyes with their driver
>Your shit-eating grin could fuel the entire fertilizer industry
>He's seeing his scholarship fade away before his eyes
>The box!
>It's fallen out of their car!
>Right into Ed's Lap
>E: "Oh, wow ok nice."
>Try not to overload us with excitement, Ed
>BRAAM!
>A: "Wh-
>The Warrior's car is behind you now
>The shit landed on it's wheels
>However...it is YOU who has the suit now!
>A: "Justinian! Gun it! For Byzantine!"
>J: "OFF ROAD TIME, BAYBEEEEEE!"
>Justin throws the shit in gear so hard you feel the shift
>Your ride rockets off into the desert proper
>The warrior's have barely put themselves together
>Still, they pursue

https://youtu.be/n6jCJZEFIto

>You're surfing well atop this metal steed
>One of the Warriors climbs out of his metal death-box as well
>You've seen one another
>It's time

https://youtu.be/n6jCJZEFIto

>CAR BATTLE!

What do!?
>>
>>1479243
I retract that statement.
>>
>>1479249
Shoot arm spikes from Muscles's arm
>>
>>1479249
SUMMON ROAD KILL TO FUCK UP THEIR CAR
>>
>>1479249
Turn Muscles into something sharp and PUNCH OUT THEIR TIRES!
>>
>>1479249
throw rocks at the car engine using muscles
>>
>>1479249
Fire, I guess?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doEwWzMz99A
>>
>>1479249
Gotta make them keep the distance

What junk do we got to chuck at them? Or should we risk using Muscles to attack the driver or the tires?

>>1479263
We're going too fast for them to assemble fast enough unless we turn around so they can jump on.
>>
>>1479265
This
>>
File: zoom punch.jpg (20 KB, 178x282)
20 KB
20 KB JPG
>>1479249
ZOOM PUNCH!
>>
>>1479249
Prepare to use Muscles to trip the guy.
>>
>>1479249
Destroy their engine.
>>
>>1479249
Call the police, tell them some hooligans are harassing us
>>
>>1479249
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DcqnkzGEFQ

MELT THEIR WHEELS

COMBUST THEM OFF THE CHASE
>>
>>1479249
>>1479277
On second thought,
>>1479265
This
>>
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Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>1479297
>>1479280
>>1479277
>>1479276
>>1479269
>>1479267
>>1479265
>>1479261

>A: "Enough..."
>You've been flexing your powers tonight
>It's time to try something a little...
>Spicy
>You use the power you developed during your training
>Power of the flesh
>You don't just command it
>You mould it
>Orchestrate it's growth
>Muscles lengthens
>Then Flattens
>He becomes a fanned out blade extending from the elbow
>After he's finished you take in the shocked look of your adversary
>You give him a wink
>A: "You ever seen Ghost Rider?"
>W4: "Nicholas Cage was under appreciated in that movie."

https://youtu.be/thEbQkcjUWk

>A: "Your taste is shit!"
>That's when you use combustion...and light Muscles' new blade on fire
>Fire
>Sword
>A: "Fire Sword."
>W4: "Fiyah!?"
>A: "SWOOOOOOOORRRD!"
>Muscles SNAPS OUT AT THEIR TIRES!

ROLL STRENGTH!
>>
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1479322
DON'T FUCK UP
>>
Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1479322
Time to fuck shit up!
>>
Rolled 13 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1479322
GoGoMuscleSpear
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>1479322
>>
Rolled 9 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1479322
RIP AND TEEEARRR... the tires
>>
Rolled 12 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1479322
>>
Rolled 19 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1479322
>>
Rolled 18 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1479322
Go!
>>
Rolled 20 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>
Rolled 14 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1479322
>>
>>1479324
Fucks sake Mojo, you hacking?

>>1479332
Winrar, with a nice 28 +2 from hacker Mojo and another +2 this guy >>1479340
>>
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>>1479332
>>1479340
NOICE
>>
>>1479345
I HAVE NO IDEA BUT I LOVE IT
>>
>>1479340
>>1479332
>>1479324
Become as gods! Become as Gods!
>>
>>1479348
He's gonna roll 1z when it matters
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>
>>1479359
that would be fitting wouldn't it
>>
>>1479362
>ROLL CHARISMA TO GIVE A ONE LINER / THREAT TO FOOTBALL TEAM

>1

And Anon goes back from badass motherfucker to an autistic wanker.
>>
>>1479365
Aparrently you can be both

Like a gladiator who wins an elimination match, then when gloating says "Im better than all of you because you suck and I'm better"

Or something equally lame
>>
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>>1479332
>>1479332

WINNER

>28 total

>>1479324
+2

>>1479340
+2!
>30 fucking 2
>32 total

>You've been struggling a little lately
>Wondering what exactly these powers make you
>Some folks call you a hero
>You think of yourself that way sometimes but...
>After Mantaurman
>You weren't so sure
>Maybe you're just nobody
>That's what was going through your mind up until right now
>You're with your friends
>Screaming through the night
>You just flipped somebody's shit using a shaken up malt beer
>Now you're taking a flaming sword...
>AND SLICING THE ENTIRE LOWER HALF OF A CAR OFF WITH IT!
>The Warriors barely keep their feet
>You took the soles of their shoes with that hit
>They fly for a few moments...
>Car suspended in air
>...BRACK!
>WHAMCCRRRRRRRRR
>Sparks rocket from the sides of their now ruined Ride
>They're feet get skinned on the desert ground
>You can see them squealing and crying as they vanish off into the horizon
>Sliding across the white dirt, eventually they vanish into a cloud of dirt and smog
>You hear the engine rev beneath you
>You drop down into Sabrina's lap
>You stretch out so she can draw you like one of her French Boys
>A: "Interested in some character development?"
>Justin explodes into cheering
>J: "AAAAANON! YOU'RE A FUCKIN' BEEEAAST!"
>He wails on the horn
>Pops on his Nye-phone

https://youtu.be/1mjlM_RnsVE

>Oh god
>This shit is cringey
>Why are you smiling?
>Hard not to feel like beast after that, you guess
>Yeah
>You're not nobody
>You're Anon
>You save the day, and fuck shit up
>Moob leans up from the back seat
>M: "I was wrong about you, dude. You're no cuck. You're the Cucker. No-no way some black guy's gonna fuck your wife while you watch no- way..."
>Moob is frozen, staring at the open desert
>M: "We need cheeseburgers."
>Fucking Moob
>So you got cheeseburgers


MCdub: "Welcome to McBurgermeister how can I help you join the Master Race of flavor tonight?"

>M: "Uh...can I get like seven chili dogs and uhhhhhh."
>Fucking Moob
>He takes forever
>Brittney has been glowing since you guys won the night
>She even calls you 'tolerable' at one point
>Wow
>You're finally at the counter
>You're still bleeding
>The cashier looks like he can't even see anymore he's so bored


What order?
>>
>>1479441
"I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda."
>>
>>1479441
Chicken Tender meal Large
>>
>>1479456
This
Got to keep your strength up
>>
>>1479441
I'll take a double triple balty deluxe, on a raft, four by four animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.
>>
>>1479457
This
>>
>>1479441
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83GrqwwmL8M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6g0mPo-uJM&feature=youtu.be

>"Also some tendies"

Anon is a very hungry kid.
>>
>>1479456
Support
>>
>>1479441
We gotta keep our strength up.
>>1479456
This.
>>
>>1479456
this
>>
>>1479456
This
>>
>>1479472
plus tendies, don't forget the tendies
>>
>>1479456
Gotta keep your strength up
>>
>>1479441
Tendies
>>
>>1479441
MUH TENDIES
>>
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Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>1479456
>>1479462
>>1479457
>>1479460
>>1479465
>>1479467
>>1479469
>>1479480
>>1479516
>>1479512

Roll...CHARISMA, FOOL!
>>
Rolled 18 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479524
Fat boy
>>
Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479524
>>
Rolled 2 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479524
Time to fuck this up.
>>
Rolled 5 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1479524
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479524
>>
Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479524
>>
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479524
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479524
>>
Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479524
DON'T FUCK UP
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>1479524
>>
Rolled 18 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479524
well things are already terrible. let's hope it gets worse
>>
Rolled 17 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1479524
>>
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>>1479529
>mfw my intentionally shit roll wins
>>
Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479524
>>
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1479527
>We have to pass a charisma check just to order some food
>>
>>1479549
I think it's more so we don't seem like a fuckin' fat boy for ordering so much.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5d42w4ZcY4
You frickin fricks,can you stop sperging your memes just for one session?
>>
>>1479529
>>1479529

winner

>5 total

>>1479536
+2!

>You chuckle to yourself as you remember the legend of big smoke
>McD: "Uh...sir?"
>Two number 9s
>THE NUMBER 9 LARGE
>You're dying
>You're choking
>McD: "Are you alright, sir?"
>You try to speak
>A: "Yeah, I'll have a uhh hehehehehe!"
>You double over, looking up
>The Number 6 on the menu
>It comes with dip
>A: "Extra dip! HAHAAA!"
>McD: "I-I feel like I should call you an ambulance."
>A: "Don't. I'll just set them on fire."
>You wipe the tear spilling down your face off then take a deep breath
>A: "Ok forreal I just heheh I want like a lot of food, man."
>McD: "Ok...how much?"
>A: " Ok so-"
>You make a dank Spongebob reference
>Using slang and lingo from truckers your Mom used to bring around the house
>The worker listens to your entire order with a look of pure defeat
>A: "Burn it aaaaand let it swim..."
>He puts his hat on the counter
>McD: "I quit."
>A: "Wh-"
>He rips free of his uniform
>He is -not- in the kind of shape to be in his underwear
>McD: "I QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!"
>SMASH!
>He just leapt out of the plate glass window
>He's bleeding
>McD: "Mighty Dragon I beseech thee! LEND ME YOUR AIDE IN THIS, MY DARKEST HOUR!"
>Everybody laughs at him
>Except you and Sabrina
>You because you can't believe you Autismed a guy out of his job
>Sabrina because-
>S: "I didn't even get to order."
>She looks at her fingers, twiddling them in sadness
>You're the only one who sees lightning hit that fast food worker
>He's gone
>You turn back to the counter, saving that vision for the PTSD flashback bank
>You're still hungry
>There's nobody left in the store but you and the gang
>Sabrina is hungry too

>The kitchen is open...

What do?
>>
So I know it's mostly jokes and giggles but is anyone else at all concerned about just how wild Muscles could get? I know he's fun to read but he's been mostly detrimental as a character... Maybe it's time to see about finding a way to assimilate him. I'm just not a fan of his constant and neverending ass lust, it's not fun anymore.
>>
>>1479628
We making burgers yo
>>
>>1479628
Let's make our own damn food! We made the best PB&B&J in the universe, enough to stasfy demons, we can work fast food!
>>
>>1479628
Lets make all the food we can from inside. Also break any cameras inside
>>
>>1479628
Go make the food. We screwed it up, we need to accidentally make it worse trying to correct the problem
>>
>>1479628
Well, Anon knows how to cook. Let's try and make some burgs. Make sure Sabrina gets what she wants too.
>>
>>1479628
Welp I guess we flipping our own burgers tonight.
And Sabrina's too i guess.
>>
>>1479628
Let's make our food. What could go possibly wrong?
>>
>>1479628
Eh, we could go in and get our stuff, but I'd rather not have us be caught "stealing" it.

Let's just call out for one of the workers.
>>
>>1479628
Time to make burgers.
Be sure Sabrina gets some too; poor gal deserves some.
>>
>>1479653
also use perception to make sure nothing fuckey is going on with that burger guy and his dragon god.
>>
Remember to break any cameras, and leave some cash on the counter
>>
>>1479628
FREE FOOD DUDES
>>
>>1479628
Make some food for us and Sabrina. Leave money.
>>
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>>1479628
>>1479628
>>
>>1479628
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDUeFf38FqE
>>
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>>1479628
>>
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>>1479644
>>1479645
>>1479670
>>1479676
>>1479664
>>1479663
>>1479684

>Your instincts tell you that the burger guy was probably fuckey
>At least on something
>Sabrina's defeated face pulls you of of those thoughts for a moment
>You don't really know this girl but she's been pretty cool
>Looking out for Ferg
>Being a sweetie
>Even to Brittney's ass
>You hop over the counter
>Crack your fingers
>A: "Order up, Possums the grubs on Nondo."
>M: "Bwuh?"
>Moob has half a chili dog hanging out of his mouth
>A: "Within reason, you damn animal."
>You pop out of the window above the kitchen
>Tip a fedora made out of Muscles' hand to Sabrina
>A: "What can I get ya M'Dame?"
>She giggles
>Wait
>You didn't roll charisma just then
>Does Sabrina actually think you're funny?
>The poor girl
>S: "I just want some Chicken tenders. Small fries and a drink."
>A: "What drink?"
>She thinks
>S: "All of them! Mixed up in one cup!"
>A: "Nasty."
>She shrinks
>Whoah
>Fragile
>A: "Nah, nah it's cool! It's an adventurous nasty!"
>You drop back down into the fry-zone
>Still wondering what was up with that guy at the counter
>His name tag said "Tyrone"
>Now that you think about it that's kind of a weird name for an Indian dude...
>Huh
>You can probably figures this stuff out in a jiff
>It's just weird cooking machines designed by corporations with only efficiency and cost effectiveness and no human empathy in mind
>How hard could it be?
>Man, it's weirdly clean back here

CHOOSE

>Cook fast and loose (Roll Wisdom. Food could be amazing)

>Take your time (No roll, make whatever you want. It'll be ok)
>>
>>1479718
Wisdom roll? Fuck yeah, do it fast nigga.
>>
>>1479718
>>Cook fast and loose (Roll Wisdom. Food could be amazing)
DANGER ZONE
>>
>>1479718
Take your time
>>
>>1479718
fuck it COOK FAST AND LOOSE
>>
>>1479718
FAST AND LOOOOSY GOOSY!
>>
>>1479718
>Cook fast and loose
TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE!!!
>>
>>1479718
>>Cook fast and loose (Roll Wisdom. Food could be amazing)
>>
>>1479718
>>Cook fast and loose (Roll Wisdom. Food could be amazing)
>>
>>1479718
DAAAAAAAAANGEEEEEEEER ZOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEE
>>
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>>1479726
>>1479728
>>1479731
>>1479734
>>1479735
>>1479736
>>1479740
>>
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>>1479718
I don't like our Wisdom stat. Bit too low for my liking, and our luck has been fucking weird lately. Let's just get some average burg for the gang, not like they're expecting gourmet food at a fast food joint.
>>
>>1479747
too late
>>
>>1479718
>>Take your time (No roll, make whatever you want. It'll be ok)
>>
>>1479726
Oh yeah, wait, I got our Wisdom and Will roll mixed up.

Yeah no, take your time. Let's not start a grease fire.
>>
>>1479718
>Take your time (No roll, make whatever you want. It'll be ok)
>>
>>1479718
Fast and loose baby
>>
>>1479753
NVM lets take our time
>>
>>1479718
>Take your time (No roll, make whatever you want. It'll be ok)
>>
>>1479718
>>Cook fast and loose (Roll Wisdom. Food could be amazing)

Fuck it why not.
>>
Time to count!
>>
>Take your time (No roll, make whatever you want. It'll be ok)
>>
>>1479718
>SECRET DEMON PATH
Give Sabrina more ice than she probably wants in her cup
>>
>>1479799
SUPPORT! FULL SUPPORT!
>>
>Safe
9 Votes...

>Loose
9 votes...

Buckle up your burger buns, boys...

We have. A TIIIIIIIIIE!

SPECIAL EVENT!

Writing
>>
>>1479810
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78KbTXlDrlg
>>
>>1479810
....ok this can't be good
Am i just being paranoid
>>
>>1479810
>inb4 teamwork cooking with spontaneous Dirt Bro
>>
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https://youtu.be/WHryvQQu9LU

>It's been a while since your kitchen at home was fully stocked
>This place is stacked up high with pans
>Knives
>Tons of frozen meat and a de-froster to get it tasting fresh
>You fall into a groove pretty fast
>Slapping down patties
>Making a -double- batch of tendies for you and Sabrina
>Aw yiss
>You time it right, and get everything done around the same time too
>It's hot
>It's greasy
>It's fresh
>Aw fuckin' yisssss
>BRash!
>You turn toward the deep freezer
>A: "What the-"
>S: "Hey! Pass me the Chicken, Anon! Wait!"
>Not now, Sabrina
>You're not even in the Anon bowl yet
>You hear something munchin'
>Something crunchin'
>You throw open the freeze-
>P: "Oink."
>It's...it's a pig
>An entire pig
>It's little and round
>It has on a sweater
>A: "Uh..."
>P: "Oink."
>It politely grunts
>It was eating the tater tots
>Fuck
>You love tater tots
>You attempt to grab some
>The pig doesn't seem to mind
>You close the door behind you before making your way back out with you and Sabrina's food
>You used more seasoning than McBurgermeister usually does
>You also doubled up on the grease-sear
>You half salted the fries but rolled them
>You used the creole Mayo
>Yours and Sabrina's food came out much better than expected
>S: "MMm Wowhr, Anon! This ish pretty good."
>Br: "Sabby puh-lease don't talk with your moth full. You pig out enough as-is."
>A: "The proletariat will fall beneath the iron will of the people one day, Brittney and I will enjoy seeing your Bourgeois kind being quartered in the streets."
>Br: "What?"
>A: "I said you're a bitch."

>It's a damn fine night
>You and your friends feast on the sweet fried meats of victory
>You are Anon
>You're the man man
>The friend
>The chef
>The fucking Spergmaster
>Who's getting a pretty chill night overall


SESSION PAUSE

We'll resume at 9:00pm U.S. Central time!

Stay hungry, my friends
>>
>>1479850
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pv5au5ghmfE

Good stuff, mang.
>>
Thanks for the good stuff Quest!


Any response at all to curtailing Muscles? I honestly wouldn't be opposed to "killing" him. I don't like how he can still get so much control despite the time we've put into controlling his actions.
>>
>>1479873
NO! NO KILLING MUSCLES! He is our bro and his booty lust is a minor inconvenience at worst! Even then, we already CAN control him you dolt!
>>
>>1479887
He just raped a dude.
>>
Hanging out with friends is nice and all. But when are we going to fix the book?

Also, revenge and stuff.
>>
>>1479893
We let him! Did you not see all the "let him go" rolls?

>>1479895
After we kill the Swamp Drake and get the Eyes of Skeletor. Then we go into the hole to get Mom and our wand gem.
>>
>>1479906
Because we expected him to slap his butt around, not straight up rape him.
>>
>>1479906
You're right. We should kill Anon instead, for allowing the rape to happen.
>>
>>1479913
What happened the last time we let Muscles off the rails like that? Similarly lewd things with Janna. It's not his fault you don't learn from past experiences.
>>
>>1479922
I wasn't even here to vote against either of those, I am quite annoyed by both.
>>
>>1479927
Still, just because we LET muscles go a few times doesn't mean we should kill him. It's like you let a hunting dog kill some animals, then you say he needs to be put down because he's vicious and kills things.
>>
>>1479932
It's not even killing him persay, he's "Us", having him fade into Anon's subconscious wouldn't be a terrible thing in my eyes, I mean what else is there to Muscles besides being an asshole and grabbing butts? This is still the same being that's nearly killed us... 2 times since the creation and almost knocked a plane out of the sky when we wouldn't let him slap a butt after being stuck with Heckapoo for a while.
>>
I suggest having a heart to heart with Muscles, try to get at the root of things.
>>
>>1479941
He also hugged to sleep the day we lost Luna and we had a cool handshake beforehand.
>>
>>1479941
>>1480000
Not to mention he's also saved our ass multiple times.
>>
>>1480029
And if it was just our arm? Still monstrous but completely under our control, what would have changed?
>>1480000
Just because you can share sorrow with something doesn't mean that it's healthy for you. Muscles WILL NOT be healthy in the long run for Anon. I'm not saying it's something we need to do immediately, but do not see Muscles being a character that sticks around through the entire story.
>>
>>1480040
He is under our control. Ever since we left Heckaworld he hasn't gone off the rails without our consent ONCE.

And don't you fucking dare think about hurting our arm bro. He may not be perfect for Anon, but he's not BAD for him.
>>
>>1480055
He nearly knocked a plane out of the sky anon. Because we wouldn't let him slap a butt.
>>
>>1480059
They were fine! It wasn't that big of a deal.
>>
>>1480059
If it becomes a problem, it can be solved. There are spells we can learn that may be able to completely neuter the arm's "mind", make it completely loyal to Anon. Hekapoo can assist with that. And if you're worried about it trying to stop us? We either cut or sear it off. It can be reattached.

But, for the time being, he gives more benefits than detriments. Being a second mind, we can dual-task some things. Be a second set of eyes, if you will, help with defending itself and Anon. And it may know how to control its form and strength better than Anon can, meaning we can very well lose strength points and limit flesh crafting if we cut off Muscles' "mind", and the previously mentioned defense.

If it acts out of line, we show it whose body its attached to. We prevent it from disobeying our commands any further. And if it does it again, then we show we don't fuck around.

What it's doing now and has done is of no concern. It's only a problem if you make it out as one.
>>
>>1480510
>the arm's
HE HAS A NAME AND IT IS MUSCLES!
>>
>>1479980
This
>>
>>1480510
Muscles hasn't been acting out without our permission lately, I don't know what brings this conversation up.
>>
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Let's find a way to give Muscles his own body.

Surely nothing can go wrong with this idea.
>>
>>1480575
He steals away our girls.
>>
>>1480575
Isn't our list of things to do long enough as it is?
>>
>>1480575
How about no
And fuck you
>>
>>1480575
I can get down with this.
>>
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SESSION RESUME

>You guys pig out for about a half an hour before your instincts start whirring up
>That fast food guy might have been an issue
>He teleported out
>Tele
>Ported
>Using lightning of all things
>You've read plenty of comics and know that sort of stuff isn't exactly low tier
>A: "Hm..."
>S: "You ok?"
>A: "Bwuh!"
>You're snapped out of glaring at your chocolate swirl strawberry mango smoothie by Sabrina
>A: "Uh...s'fine. Nothing to worry about."
>P: "Oink."
>Oh, yeah that pig got out of the freezer eventually
>He really likes Moob
>Mainly because Moob is passed the fuck out and covered in cheese fries
>Br: "It's getting late. I'll call Defaun and get us a ride home."
>Ed raises a hand trepidatiously
>Almost like he needed to remind people of his presence
>E: "Can I get a ride home from one of you guys?"
>A: "Don't look at me. My bum ass can't even get a licence yet."
>J: "I got you, dude. Where you live?"
>E: "Thornstreet."
>Hey, wait
>Thornstreet's like...in your neighborhood
>A: "You live in Fortune County?"
>Ed looks shocked you know about that place
>E: "Y-yeah..."
>A: "Me too."
>Ed looks so relieved
>Brittney whips her hair to draw attention back where it belongs
>On her
>Br: "Ed has skills, and manners that go way beyond his neighborhood."
>Blake pipes up, spewing gas from his 70th coke
>B: "BRRRRAAAAAUuuuuPP! Isn't Fortune County the worst middle class hood in Socal?"
>He smiles at Ed
>B: "Could you help me get weed!?"
>Ed looks upon this poor lanky white child with pity
>E: "No."
>B: "C'mon, you gotta know -somebody- !"
>Brittney's whipped out her phone
>Br: "Anonymous."
>Wh-
>Who does she think she is, referring to you by name in a respectable manner?
>Br: "Do you want a ride home with us?"
>Justin has raised one eyebrow so hard it looks like his face might break in half.
>A: "I live in Fortune too, haha...aren't I sort of outta your way?"
>Br: "I want to talk to you."
>Every time Brittney speaks it feels like she's making an announcement to her throngs of zealous worshipers
>Exacting
>Direct
>No bullshit
>Br: "That's it. If you want to get back on the inside track you'll say yes."
>She sips the last of her Cotton Candy Slush
>Br: "I hope you won't miss me too much tonight, Big QB."
>Justin chuckles
>J: "I'll fill the time somehow."


>You've been asked to ride home with the coolest
>Richest
>Notoriously cut throat girl in your school
>For reasons unknown
>She'll drop you off in a limo-hummer
>You'll get to ride in a Limo Hummer!

>Or you can decline, and ride back with all the boys
>All boys
>One car

What do?
>>
>>1480536
I said it isn't a problem. And if he does act out of our permission, then we deal with it.

The conversation is brought up because >>1479873 is making it a problem.
>>
>>1480607
Eh... Agree.

Let's see what she wants. If she wants to yell at or berate Anon, no skin off of our backs. She has no presence or authority that matters to us.

If she wants to make an offer or some sort of deal... Let's hear it.
>>
>>1480607
Im interested. Go with Brittney.
>>
>>1480607
..... I'm actually really curious about her. Let's go with Brittney.
>>
>>1480607
Lets ride with Brittney, she might need to ask us something
>>
>>1480607
GET IN THE CAR
>>
>>1480607
Might as well go with her. Besides, we could probably hook up with Sabrina along the way.
>>
>>1480607
Shouldn't we be worried about gangers seeing a hummer limo drop a kid off somewhere?
>>
>>1480607
We COULD just portal back, but I kinda wanna see what Britney has to say.
>>
>>1480607
Might as well
>>
>>1480607
get in the limo
>>
>>1480607
Ah shit the Ed boy is from our hood.
Let's see hat she has to say.
>>
>>1480607
Lets see what she wants.
>>
I wanna see what Brittney wants.
>>
>>1480651
Hm. Food for thought, ask Ed where exactly his house is.

Open a portal with the scissors outside his home, let him through. Then take the ride with Brittney.

Show her we're taking her ride because we're accepting her offer to talk, and we can handle ourselves.
>>
>>1480607
You know ive been wondering has she had ANY FUN?! all evening?
>>
>>1480607
As much as I'm curious, we were told to not get involved with princesses. A queen is a princess with delusions of grandeur, particularly this one. I am against.
>>
Muscles is a baby. Hes been like less than a week alive and still got much to learn about the world. H
>>
>>1480707
I really like this idea, it's showing our capabilities without being rude.
>>
>>1480607
Supporting:
>>1480707
>>
>>1480707
This
>>
>>1480707
>>1480726

I actually concur with this. We very much simplify the scenario, we put the control of the situation back in OUR court, and we show we're a lot more than just a teenager in one go.

We're not really hiding our magic anymore. We just need to hide our overall power level from Star.
>>
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>>1480708
>>1480707
>>1480662
>>1480676
>>1480627

>You pause...
>Considering your options
>Then, to near everyone's surprise
>You agree
>A: "Sure."
>A little flip of your special scissors prelims this acceptance
>A: "Yo, Ed. Thornstreet, right? What house number you at?"
>E: "Aw, geeze you don't mess with my tukmol ass brother do you?"
>A: "Naw, dude just helping you get home."
>E: "1980."
>SCHRRRRip!
>A: "Here."
>Ed is shocked
>E: "What the-"
>You usher him in
>E: "Hey! Thanks. Now I won't be past curfew."
>Ed's curfew is 11 oclock?
>On a Thursday
>Sick
>You close up the portal and turn back to Brittney who's already waiting for you and Sabrina at the door
>The Limo's here
>J: "See you tomorrow, Bro."
>Justin perfoms the sickest handshake ever all up on your bidness
>You do the same
>Dabbing at the end
>J: "Haha don't dab it insults our ancestors."
>A: "Hail Satan."
>The bros are off
>You're left with the ladies
>Things are super plush in this Limo
>Also entirely silent
>Why isn't Brittney saying anything?
>She's just on her phone
>Sabrina has been quiet too
>Only making eye contact and waving once
>Legit tho there's carpet and leather couches in here

>You get to start this "conversation"
>What say?
>>
>>1480763
>"Penny for your thoughts?"
>>
>>1480763
Be really uncomfortable and just stare.......
>>
>>1480763
So what exactly do you want to talk about?
>>
>>1480763
Mind read to find out what she wants, then start the conversation as appropriate.
>>
>>1480763
Ask Sabrina if her food was fine. Don't ask Brittney immediately what she wanted to speak to you about.

She wants to control this conversation between her and Anon, and starting it will most likely cause her to react negatively. Keep friendly small talk for now.
>>
>>1480763
"I'm bored, this limo is boring, britney is also boring."
>>
>>1480763
Make funny faces at Sabrina, get her laughing.
>>
>>1480785
>>1480787
I like both of these ideas
>>
>>1480763
"So, what did you want to talk about?"

Also, let's do that trick where we flip a lit cigarette into our mouth from our lips without burning our tongue, for intimidation.
>>
>>1480763
>Perform a bit of Mind Reading
"Say, Sabrina, was my food okay?"
>>
>>1480778
Supporting
>>
>>1480763
"So, is it normal for you guys to have a high speed car chase?"
>>
>>1480787
>>1480785
These
>>
>>1480763
She's playing mind games for some dumb reason.

Mind read + eyebrow raise in her direction.

Then start talking with Sabrina, asking if she had a good time.
>>
>>1480763
>>1480801
On second thought: >>1480824
>>
>>1480824
this
>>
>>1480824
>>1480763
This,
>>
>>1480763
>>1480824
This
>>
>>1480824
this
>>
>>1480763
Supporting:
>>1480824
>>
>>1480607
Let's go with her.
>>
>>1480763
READ MIND OF BOTH ASK SABRINA IF SHE HAD FUN
>>
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>>1480785
>>1480787
>>1480824
>>1480854
>>1480859

THE PATH IS CHOSEN

>Your wriggle out your mind
>Trying to get into Brittney's head
>Her thoughts are...icy
>Practiced
>She's repeating something to herself

>Br: "Get home. Check the box. Brush hair. Moisturize. Squats. Sleep."
>Hm
>Her thoughts have nothing to do with you
>Not surprising
>You turn to Sabrina
>She's been a doll but man, she doesn't emote
>You poke into her head
>You feel like you've stuck your hand outside during the rain
>S: "Don't cry. Today was nice. Pretty crazy. Maybe life will go fast for a while. I'd like that. I hate sitting still...don't cry."
>She looks out the window, trying to occupy herself
>Br: "Sabrina."
>S: "Y-yes!"
>Br: "Are you thirsty?"
>S: "A little."
>Why does she look so scared to mention her thirst?
>You're always thirsty
>Thirsty for those damn waifus
>Man, it's been awhile since you went to 3senpai
>Your mind drifts to images of your favorite boards
>/b-fit/
>/a-vgame/
>... /trps/
>It's a feminine penis it doesn't cou-
>WHuh!
>You shake the lacy stockings from your mind
>Brittney has hit the PA system
>Br: "Defaun. Drinks."
>A drawer emerges from the wall
>It's a built in cooler
>Pre stocked with soda
>S: "Oh. Thanks, Brittney."
>Br: "Well, you never say what you want so I asked. Daddy buys these by the pallet."
>A: "Did you have any fun tonight?"
>You chime in, specifically looking at Sabrina
>Sabrina, thinking you're speaking to Brittney needs to do a double take on your eye-contact
>S: "I-...I mean yeah but you don't wanna talk to me about that stuff. I just go with the flow, y'know?"
>She's trembling
>This girl is almost always trembling
>A: "Jesus Christ hung off a flagpole."
>You snatch a soda up and hand another to Sabrina
>Br: "Do you always help yourself like that?"
>Brittney's face is hard to read
>So you read her head instead
>Br: "He's bold. Wild. Let's try checking that before it gets out of hand."

What do?
>>
>>1481121
GET BOLD
GET WILD

but not too bold or wild, she'll kick us out.
>>
>>1481121
Up our boldness by about ten. Remember what Mother said, stay in control. And show everyone THEIR place.
>>
>>1481121
>:smirk:
>>
>>1481121
"What can I say, I'm a Mad Dog."
*Chug soad and belch*
"I'm mostly bark unless you piss me off, but as you've seen i have a hell of a bit."
>>
>>1481121
SO!
Why'd you happen to ask me here
>>
>>1481132
Or a more direct quote"
> Never forget your station.

And

> Let's just not get in a habit of letting trollops like this think they can put you off your feet.
>>
>>1481121
Let's try and get to know Sabrina a bit more. Poor thing never gets any attention.Let Brittney be as bossy as she wants, she literally can't do anything to control Anon. And also try not to get kicked out of the car by being too bold.
>>
>>1481121
BOLDER!!
WILDER!!
>>
>>1481121
Grab a soda for Brittany as well and say "Someone who can't help them self isn't worth shit."
>>
>>1481159
This, but also get to know Sabrina more
>>
Hand Sabrina the coke and say to Brittany, "First things first, my henchman rates are pretty high, and you'll have to allow for at least a few days off every week. I'm willing to work for 10000 a month."
>>
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>>1481145
>Anon, the Mad Dog of Echo Creek

>>1481166
I like it.
>>
>>1481132
supporting
>>
>>1481121
Supporting:
>>1481132
>>
>>1481132
I support this option
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>1481131
>>1481132
>>1481139
>>1481145
>>1481149
>>1481177
>>1481195

>A: "What soda do you drink, Brittney?"
>Br: "Cherry."
>You grab just that kind from the ice
>Hand it towards her
>Wait for her to reach out
>Then open it.
>You open it in front of her and drink it yourself

https://youtu.be/hod0WtYE4SA

>It's high end
>Salty and sweet combined
>You don't look at her while you drink
>This ain't about her
>The lights in the limo flicker as your power grows
>As madness reigns
>Cause you've gone and done it
>You're a madman now, Anon

>A: "Not bad."
>You Belch
>Loud
>A: "I prefer Orange."
>Then you hand her the can
>The can you just drank half of
>You keep eye contact for about seven seconds


>Br: "What the fu-"
>Which is when you talk to Sabrina
>A: "Like I was saying about those doubles."
>S: "Those what?"
>A: "Y'know, digits."
>S: "Digi-"
>A: "I want your number."

ROLL CHARISMA
>>
Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
By my right as the Crit Failer, I demand this roll be absolute trash!
>>
Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
KEK HELP US
>>
Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
f-footloose?
>>
Rolled 2 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
Spaghetti!
>>
Rolled 17 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>
Rolled 16 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
>>
Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1481292
min gott we've gone full ham
>>
Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
>>
Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
Time to fuck up, because Anon is about as smooth as sand paper.
>>
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
Time for some SMOOOOTH

>>1481297
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTHklXyutC8
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>1481292
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
Time to fuck up, because Anon is about as smooth as sand paper.
>>
>>1481312
17 - 2 = 15

Not half bad.
>>
>>1481312
eh not too bad then, even with that 1
>>
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
>>
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
DON'T FUCK UP
>>
Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
THAT WAS SOME AUTISM IN THE WAY THAT WAS HANDLED

Wilder and bolder did not mean THAT MUCH
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
>>
>>1481347
Alright, nice. Got a bit more of an edge here at 17 points.
>>
Just finished binging your archive. Haven't seen this much shitposting since banished quest.

Feels good man
>>
Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1481292
I might be a little late on the dice here.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

Let madness reign.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>1481292
Yes???
>>
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>>1481370
>>
>>1481370
you could have just waited, but you had to roll
>>
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90 KB
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>>1481370
>>
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52 KB
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>>1481370
>>
>>1481312
>>1481312

WINNER!

>17 total

>>1481297
-2

>>1481347
+2

>17

>S: "Anon I- whoah I mean like I- well y'see Heh um I don't I-"
>You suddenly feel a something wap the back of your head
>That something was the can you gave Brittney
>The throw didn't hurt
>Not much hurts after all you've had put in you
>N-not in a gay way just
>Br: "Anonymous...McMoot, right?"
>A: "Word."
>Br: "I can't figure you out...but you're a real jerk."
>A: "You seem to like those."
>Br: "Wrong. I like boys like Justin. Strong. Capable. Humble. Justin knows where he stands."
>A: "Oh? Where do you think -I- stand."
>Br: "You stand a-"
>Muscles pulls you up on the cieling
>You swing into the seat right next to Brittney
>A: "I stand where-ever I put my feet."
>Coincidentally you put both feet up
>On top of Brittney's cooler
>Closing it when she was going for the next cherry soda
>Her thoughts are going haywire
>Br: "Is this boy insane? Doesn't he know what he's doing? That Star Butt girl is bad enough. Now I have -two- space aliens to deal with? I need a massage. Why does Justin have to be crap at neck rubs? Morgan is gonna get the hell worked out of him for-"
>A: "Here's the thing."
>You point at Brittney
>Not something people are supposed to do
>A: "I think I know where -you- stand."
>Br: "You don't get to tell me where I stand, little ma-"
>A: "At the top."
>Brittney looks surprised but pleased
>Br: "I'm glad we understand that."
>A: "Yep. Which is great."
>You pull your feet off and grab the next soda
>Grape
>A: "As long as people respect the order."
>Muscles punches a little hole in the bottom of the can with his thumb
>You shotgun it just like the beer
>A: "I don't."
>Br: "Clearly."
>A: "It's trash."
>Br: "I disagree."
>A: "You would."
>Br: "I do."
>A: "Of course."
>Br: "Wonderful."
>A: "Great."
>Br: "FINE!"
>Hah
>She mad
>A: "Is that what you wanted to know?"
>Br: "Defaun! Stop the car."
>SKRRT
>Brittney lowers the window on her side
>You can see your house
>Br: "You can get out of my Limo now, Wild-man."
>She is back to being sub fucking zero
>You hop off her car couch
>A: "Later, I guess."
>On your way out you smile at Sabrina
>She needs less people telling her what to do
>Just before you exit she 'slips off the couch'
>S: "Oh! Silly me. Haha sorry, 'Non."
>A: "It's ok. Bitches be trippin' all day around me."
>She chuckles a little
>She pats your front pocket
>S: "Stay wild."
>Right after you get out you pull whatever she planted on you out
>Why hide it?
>It's a piece of paper
>A wrapper for a cough drop
>In orange gel pen...is Sabrina's number

https://youtu.be/1cUdYKOM6uY

>You're grinning like a cat
>Br: "Hey! Wild man."
>You lean out from behind your prize
>Brittney's still got her window down
>Br: "You'd better not miss my party."
>Whuh-cRack!
>There goes her hair thing again
>Seriously, she should have severe neck damage from that
>Br: "Jerk."

>You are Anon
>You finally followed the damn lady train

What do?
>>
>>1481397
let's go check on Zombina real quick.
>>
>>1481397
Since we are home, we might want to talk to biomom if she isn't passed out, if she is we go to QUESTBUY
>>
>>1481397
Welp, time to do our routine. Deal with Mom, check on Susan, go to bread.
>>
>>1481397
"I will not"
Go to shleep i guess.
>>
>>1481397
Check on Susan. Get some rest, we have a busy day tomorrow.
>>
>>1481403
>>1481405

Yeah, let's check on her, and then message Hekapoo on Headbook to see if she's down for Questbuy shopping.

And should we consider going to Brittney's party? She still invited us despite us shitting all over her.
>>
>>1481397
Eyyyyy

Alright so let's hit up hekapoo see if she wants to go to quest buy with us. Let's bring Zombella too and get her some zombie attire.
>>
>>1481397
Check on Zombella
She's probably grown a bit fatter on the underground rats. We need to chart her progress.
>>
>>1481414
we should at least consider it. Star's gonna make big fuckups there, we might wanna see it.
>>
>>1481397
Check on Zombina.

Is it too late to go shopping with HPoo?
>>
>>1481397
>Check on Zombina
>Consider shopping with Hekapoo
>>
>>1481397
>Check on Zombina
>go to sleep
>>
>>1481409
Actually, I'm changing my vote to shopping with H-Poo. That seems like a great idea to me.
>>
>>1481397
>Check on Zombina
>Consider shopping with Hekapoo
>>
If we're going shopping, might as well figure out what we want to get now before going.

Got a few suggestions here:

>Ask Hekapoo for her opinion on what to get
Obvious stuff; she might help us find some useful things we haven't considered

>Armor
Even though the drake armor's gonna be better than what we buy, still better than civilian clothes.

>Weapon
Something for Muscles?

>Concealable Weapon
We can't carry our arsenal wherever we go; this can help give Anon the advantage in fights he doesn't expect.

>Something something blood
If we can find something to assist Anon in healing through blood, then it's worth it.
>>
>>1481447
how about a hollow knife? It's just a frame of a knife with holes in it? Surely all the blood would spill out easily then.
>>
>>1481447
A concealable knife sounds good, e should also get something to help us identify and detect magic bullshit.

Muscles is enough of an overt weapon unless e can get him some kind of liquid metal coating that ramp up his hardness without hampering his morphing abilities.

I wonder what kind of potion selection they have. A bunch of potions for situational use would be good, maybe a magic flask that can hold all of them without mixing and let us pick which we drink would be awesome.
>>
>>1481467
If we can get a magic flask to hold liquids, we can use that for blood storage

Drop by a butcher, stock up on blood, free health potion.
>>
>>1481471
....... How about we just use a regular flask?
>>
>>1481452
>>1481467
>Wanting a knife
>When Muscles can act as a Sword by himself
>>1481447
I'd say we just go with Hekapoo's opinion, as well as some Armor. And who knows: Maybe we might even be able to find something blood-related while at it.
>>
>>1481475
Suppose, but magic might keep the freshness. Or hold more.

Dunno man, it's magic.
>>
>>1481480
>When Muscles can act as a Sword by himself
That is a fair point, Muscles is a weapon on his own. We don't need to buy one.
>>
>>1481471
>>1481475
Get two flasks, one flask for magic potions like increased strength, intellect, invisibility and shit the other cheap and used for blood.

>>1481484
>>1481480
The point is something reliable for hen e can't just use magic or don't want to deal with muscles bullshit. Something just in case.
>>
>>1481490
What bullshit? He's right there and is generally not against cutting things up. The only real bullshit he's had lately is his resurgent lust for butts, and you can't really blame him for that.

I don't see how Muscles isn't reliable.
>>
Maybe we could find an artifact that could act as storage for power? like we put a little in each day and if we need it we can use it to boost our stats for a short time
>>
I bet we could just find drake scale armor there
>>
>>1481503
Maybe, but not only will it feel better getting our own, but it's still a test of our strength. I mean, if we can't handle one little Swamp Drake we're not at all worthy of THE HOLE.
>>
>>1481506
Maybe we could find something that would help kill a swamp drake. Hell, finding a a book about making Armor from Drake Skin would still be a help
>>
>>1481506
I don't think it really matters if we kill the drake ourselves or not. I think it's just better to avoid a confrontation with a giant, flying, magic, fire breathing lizard.
>>
>>1481509
They don't fly, but i get your point
>>
>>1481496
That reminds me we really need to work on that dex and strength
>>
>>1481403
>>1481405
>>1481409
>>1481411
>>1481413
>>1481431
>>1481436
>>1481438
>>1481447
>>1481443
>>1481452

>Just as you pull your phone out a little green hand tugs at your pants
>Z: "Muh."
>A: "Hey, girl."
>Why do you talk to it like a dog?
>Actually, why do you talk to it at all?
>You will Zombina to present her status
>All the info you need comes in clear as day

ZOMBINA
>Lvl 7 Zombie

HP: 9
>Wishes things would stop living in her stomach


>Hey
>She leveled up with you
>Nice
>Back to business

HEADBOOK NOTIFICATION

>Man you've missed some stuff while you were out

>Jackie Lynn Thomas has tagged you in a photo

>It's a pic of her kicking up her feet at the beach
>There's a crab standing on her legs with one huge claw
>Caption reads "Look familiar? Haha"
>She gave the crab one of her hair-flowers
>The crab scuttled off looking like he had learned to blush


>NEW FRIEND REQUESTS
>Blake Lemons
>Sabrina Blackintosh


>NEW MESSAGE

>Fucking hell, what is this?
>It's from Janna
>J: "Hey. Chekkit out."
>She's sent you a pic of the inside of an abandoned Bus
>There's a huge extension cord running in with hanging lights and a mini fridge
>looks like she spent her money wisel-
>There's also a big Neon sign of a dick and titties
>Next to a statue of Halloween Satan
>Ha
>J: "Come over anytime. I got the spot."

cont
>>
>>1481509
But where else will we get a giant, undead, magic, fire breathing lizard?
>>
>>1481514
>>1481514

>You finally get to message Hekapoo
>A: "Ey"
>You're buried in exclamation point emojis
>H: "What's good!?"
>A: "That's my line"
>Fist emojis
>H: "fite me for it, scrub"
>A: "wanna go shopping?"
>H: "It still counts even when you wear a dress."
>A: "dammit, no I just wanna check out Quest Buy I need gear"
>H: "what for?"
>A: "Killing big booty Green Drakes"
>H: "U still haven't done that?"
>A: "No. It's huge and weird"
>Shaking head emoji
>H: "Anon, groups of teenage Mewmans hunt those to prove their manhood after they Rut"
>A: "fuck is a rut?"
>H: "what I'm stuck in with you"
>A: "NOW IF YOU WANT ME STUCK IN Y-"
>SHRRRRRRRRRRRRRpop!

https://youtu.be/ibaZsVlkuQg

>The fires of your Demon buddy's entrance melt the asphalt
>One leg steps out
>Oh by the black pits of Satan's many assholes
>She's not in her orange dress
>She-
>She's in...
>A: "Bootyshorts..."
>H: "Miss me, Kid?"
>She tosses her hair
>Flames blast into the night
>Z: "Preddy!"
>H: "Aw. You got a summon!"
>A: "You got hotter somehow."
>H: "Don't go googoo on me. This ain't even luke warm."
>A: "I might die from this."
>Muscles is gonna get you killed from this
>You stifle that shit A.S.A.P.
>No need to let your whole life end over one ass-slap
>Even if it is on a wide...
>Pillowy
>Muscular
>Hekapoo pinches your nose
>A: "AAAAA!"
>Damn she-demon cooking your skin
>H: "Ready to rock? Don't cramp my style out there in the multiverse."
>A: "Pssh."
>You moan, rubbing your snoz
>A: "At this point?"
>You lower your hand and give Hekapoo a powerful smirk
>A: "I wonder how you'll keep up with -me-."

SESSION END

Next Mini-session TOMORROW AT 4PM US CENTRAL TIME!
>>
>>1481515
I'm saying we buy the armor at Quest Buy so we don't have to find one.
>>
>>1481397
Say "If I feel like it" + wink to throw her off more

Check on Zombella just to double confirm on her state. May need to feed her meat to bring her to True Undead status. Ideally get her some more brains.

Text Heckapoo about buying equipment some time soon.

Bed after hygiene
>>
>>1481518
Cool man.

So, we having Zombina tag with us to QuestBuy? Or will Hekathicc deny us?
>>
>>1481518
>SESSION END
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9COHyaFMU8
>>
>>1481518
>H: "Anon, groups of teenage Mewmans hunt those to prove their manhood after they Rut"
See?! We gotta kill the Swamp Drake to prove our manhood! Otherwise we're just a lil' bitch! Like Tom!
>>
>>1481524
They do it in groups. We're soloing this. How much more manly does this make us compared to the average Mewman?
>>
>>1481524
Welp looks like its time to move mountains and drive are enemy's before us
>>
>>1481524
>>1481545
Maybe after we grab what we want from Quest Buy? You know... break in our new gear and shit.
>>
>>1481545
EXTREMELY!

>>1481551
How's about we break our stuff in WITH the swamp drake?
>>
>>1481551
Fighting the drake after we gear up is a good idea.
>>
>Slides in from the archives hot

"ASK HEKKYPOO WHY WE HAVEN'T FUCKED YET"
>>
Another thing we should buy is something to give us fire resistance, not just for the drake but so we can do crazy shit with our on fire magic without worries. Also get all up in Hekapoo.

On that note, according to one anon that Star VS guide says the magic council were created by Glossaryk, which means he's Hekapoos' daddy.
>>
>Buy fire-resist equipment/potion/whatever
>raise small/medium undead
>use Flesh Shaper to add more corpses to the undead to make it bigger and stronger
>repeat until it's big enough to match a Drake
>throw fire resist item on undead
>send giant undead against the Drake
>use Blood for Blood to damage the Drake while healing your undead

There, a standard necromancer strategy of throwing zombies at a problem with a few extras added in.

Alternative strategies include opening a portal on top of the Drake and using Muscles to drop something heavy on it. Or slapping an oven mitt on Muscles and have him punch the Drake to death.
>>
If we need corpses/meat for Zombina, why don't we take her to an all you can eat buffet? Then she can eat as much as she wants until the Asian family that runs it kicks our asses out.
>>
I sensed hekapoo, so now I shall try to finally join this beauty
>>
>>1481518
Aw shit yeah.

Go shopping

Fix our room, probably buying some replacement furniture. We got dosh.

Hunt Swamp Drake, skin it for armor

Go get the eyes of ... shit, what does it do again? Whatever just go get it

Then, we need to somehow condense the dead world into a crystal and make that shit a wand.
>>
We should get a magic mirror in Quest Buy.
>>
Don't forget to use flesh craft on our zombie with swamp drake meat.
>>
>>1481990
>Give Sarah dragon meat
>Meshes with other meat on her body
>Becomes a dragon-zombie monstergirl

In all seriousness, if she can get the scales growing on her like it's her own skin, that's armor for both Anon and her.
>>
>>1481990
I stand behind this plan 100%
>>
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Yo Yo
Here to deliver so art at the request of Quest
1/7
>>
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2/7
>>
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3/7
>>
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4/7
>>
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5/7
>>
>>1482598
>tmw u narwhald in ass
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMWoAvgD0A0
>>
6/7
For those who don't know this is concept art of a potential imp girl we can bind to Anon's Will.
>>
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>>1482614
Whoops
>>
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SESSION START!

>You are Anon
>14 year old Part-ay animal
>Wild man
>Disrespecter of social hierarchy
>Also, a wizard or something you guess
>You've been all over the place for the last few days
>Australia
>A magic Swamp
>Football fields
>The zone of your own inner horror at the ever expanding horizon and infinite possibilities of a truly resplendent multiverse
>Right now, you're going shopping
>With the coolest Demon Goddess you know
>The only one, at that
>Hekapoo
>She's used her own scissors to take you both to QUEST BUY
>The magical nexxus of incredible value
>It's like an endless void that someone filled with a Spooky Sam's Club
>Music's pretty nice

https://youtu.be/p8CAYazQO5M

>You've spotted so many weird monsters here
>A giantess who's all pink legs and hair
>Some guy with all-white skin and Black Tattoos
>He was riding a Motorcycle
>Indoors
>What a guy
>You also saw a tree eat a gnome
>Sick
>A: "This place is nuts!"
>You spot some products on the shelves
>A: "What's an 'Extra Strength Ghost Head? How does it compare to normal strength ghost heads?"
>Hekapoo finds your wonder at the world adorable
>She's remarked several times on how...little you seem to have changed since she saw you last
>When you told her it's only been a few days since you got back from Hekaworld she laughed it off
>H: "You don't gotta impress me, Anon. You're pretty much stuck in the 'Impressively Lame' box."
>A: "You make -one- Yoko reference and explain the joke. ONE time..."
>You're waved off from reminiscing on your comedic genius
>H: "C'mon. It's easy to get lost in here. I've got some stuff to collect but I can help my little meat-bag get his shopping done. So, how many buckets of tenders and girl's underwear we getting?"
>You sputter to block any notion that you want to try on the extremely complicated leather thong you just saw on the rack
>Heka-rekted
>Eventually Hekapoo helps you narrow your needs down to a few select Isles
>H: "Where do you wanna go first?"


>POTIONS AND BREWS

>SURVIVING THE WARP

>BLOWOUT BATTLE SUPPLIES!

>Home decor
CHARACTER NOTE

Last session Anon learned how to use timing to be...sort of cool
>Charisma is now +4

https://pastebin.com/UHYYajzX


ZOMBIE HEALTH HAS BEEN EXPLAINED IN THE PASTEBIN
>>
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7/7
Last one
>>
>>1482621
>BLOWOUT BATTLE SUPPLIES!
>>
>>1482621
>BLOWOUT BATTLE SUPPLIES!
>>
>>1482621
Surviving things sounds good. Let's go check that out.
>>
>>1482621
probably blowout battle supplies. If not that, surviving the warp.
>>
>>1482621
>BLOWOUT BATTLE SUPPLIES!
>>
>>1482628
This, and if we have time check out Surviving the Warp
>>
>>1482621
>>SURVIVING THE WARP
safety first
>>
>>1482621
https://soundcloud.com/absynthrobette/oh-shit-wii-store
>>
>>1482621
>POTIONS AND BREWS
I love alchemy
>>
>>1482621
>SURVIVING THE WARP
>>
>>1482621
>>1482648
>SURVIVING THE WARP
>>
>>1482621
>>SURVIVING THE WARP
If we don't survive it's GAME OVER.
>>
>>1482646
Song: Shopping Goddess
Game: Anon vs The Universe
Artist:Absynth Robette
>>
>>1482621
>BLOWOUT BATTLE SUPPLIES!

If we can get a bomb, we can just drop it on the Drake via scissor portal.
>>
>>1482621
>SURVIVING THE WARP
>>
>>1482667
>If we can get a bomb, we can just drop it on the Drake
You mean drop it IN the drake, right?
>>
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Time to count!
>>
>>1482614
Ah yeah, I forgot that we can bind demons. Probably could be useful.
>>
>>1482621
>>1482637
DEMON TIME! I change my vote to blowjob battle supplies!
>>
>>1482621
potions and brews
>>
>SURVIVING THE WARP
>>
>>1482621
>Home decor
>>
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THE VOTES

>Potions
1 vote (Bless your love of Alchemy)

>Surviving the Warp
6 Votes

>Blowout Battle
6 votes

>Home Decor
0 votes


A tie...

SPECIAL EVENT

>You look between the two aisles
>You find yourself torn
>A: "Uh...Fuck."
>So many deals
>So many percentage markdowns!
>Finally you just ask Hekapoo which of her tits hangs lower
>H: "Neither, I'm hellborne we have flawless Symetr-"
>A: "Left it is!"
>You go headlong into the Battle Section
>WHump!
>You've run into something soft
>Fluffy
>Furry
>...and warm
>As you back up a blue mass of hair turns to see you gaping
>Su: "Uhhh...."
>It's a hulking beast
>An unholy mixture of bear, lizard and possibly Dinosaur
>Su: "Hey?"
>He asks in an accent that makes him seem not so bad
>Quite MANly but certainly not fierce
>He sounds GOOD and friendly, even
>A Goodman
>Maybe his name is John, you don't know
>A: "Uh-"
>M: "Hey, Kid! Watch where ya goin!"
>A little green cyclops has run up into your business
>A: "Buh."
>M: "Friggen Zombos. Where's your keeper?"
>A: "I-"
>He leads the big blue fella away
>M: "C'mon Sully we gotta get these coffee filters by lunch or we're fired."
>You're left standing in the Battle Aisle between two Blade-Hats and a WAR UMBRELLA shield
>Hekapoo is floating over your head
>Thank gods she isn't in her dress
>H: "Aw, sick! The Knuckle Dusters on sale!"
>She tosses a pair of gauntlets down to you
>They have feathers and a French Maid motif
>What were you expecting?

>WEAPONS LAY ALL AROUND


WARMBRELLA
A parasol who's surface is nigh immune to heat

MANTA CLOAK
A hooded cloak that allows the wearer to glide through the air

SPIKE SPEWER
It's a horrible creature trapped in a bucket with a caged lid...it shoots foot-long spikes

VORPAL BOOT
Boots that seek the most vulnerable section of a creature every time they are used to attack


>The prices however, are in a cryptic language
>There's other weapons to check out as well

>H: "C'moooon Duder I'm makin' chimichangas tonight. You don't want to make Hekapoo wait on her gas-station chimichangas, son."
>>
>>1482799
warmbrella
>>
>>1482799
Warmbrella and Vorpal Boots
>>
>>1482799
MANTA CLOAK
A hooded cloak that allows the wearer to glide through the air
>>
>>1482799

>MANTA CLOAK
>>
>>1482799
>WARMBRELLA
>A parasol who's surface is nigh immune to heat

We'll be like an punky, necrodude Marry Poppins.
>>
>>1482799
Warmbrella. Seems like it'd be handy and styling.
>>
>>1482799
>MANTA CLOAK
>A hooded cloak that allows the wearer to glide through the air
AIR DASH NIGGAS
>>
>>1482799
Check Warbrella and Vorpal Boots.

Does the umbrella have a hook grip? It can be used as a weapon that way if we hook limbs or the neck with it.
>>
>>1482799
MANTA CLOAK
WE FLYING, MUH BRUHS
>>
>>1482807
>>1482799
could we get both the warmbrella AND the manta cloak?
>>
>>1482799
Manta Cloak. Now falling to our death will never be an issue again. Plus it adds to our edgy aesthetic and we can do cool BatMan shenanigans to scare our enemies
>>
>>1482799
>>1482828
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYRfBISyu9o
>>
>>1482799
SPIKE SPEWER
FUSE IT WITH SUSAN TO MAKE SPIKE SPEWER SUSAN
Also a Warmbrella to protect from drake fire
>>
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>MANTA CLOAK
Pay extra to customize it with our logo
>quickly come up with a logo
>pic related
>>
Manga cloak and warmbrella
>>
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>>1482866
this good?
>>
>>1482799
Manta Cloak seems like the most useful all around.
>>
>1482874
man I really hope it doesn't look like that
>>
>>1482873
Es muy beuno
>>
>>1482887
The cape is fine, heck it kinda fits in the Star vs universe, it's the rest of the outfit that's retarded.
>>
>>1482896
Manta Ray cape shape owns. Rays are sick creatures and swooping down like an angry sea devil is cool as shit. We can get the hood altered to fit our style with an angry face and change up the color scheme but you gotta have fun with this stuff or you become a lame wizard.
>>
>>1482799
Warmbrella and Manta Cloak if it's possible to get both.

Just the Warmbrella if not.

It's what we need most right now, but Manta Cloak seems like it'll be more useful in the long run.
>>
>>1482799
Warmbrella and Manta Cloak
>>
>>1482799
Inform Hekapoo that if we hadn't tamed Muscles already, it would've torn itself from Anon's shoulder to go all out the moment she showed up.
>>
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IT IS TIME

To shop!


>Warmbrella
9 votes

>Manta cloak
11 votes

>Vorpal Boots
2 votes

>Spike Spewer
1 vote

>You really dig that cloak
>It's got a sleek shiny finish
>It shimmers deep blue with black spots
>The Warmbrella tho...you'd be dapper
>Dapper AND immune to fire
>Das so sick
>You're still holding Hekapoo's basket of feathery gloves
>A: "Hey!"
>You yell to her as she's floating around at the top shelves
>H: "What?"
>A: "How much are these?"
>She comes drifting down, posing like a ballerina
>You suddenly realize she's in open toed sandals
>N-nani?
>It's freezing in here
>Like all department stores
>How is she alive in beach wear?
>Hekapoo checks out the stickers on your items
>H: "In Earth Turd Bucks..."
>She points to the Warmbrella
>H: "1500."
>Then at the Cloak
>H: "2000."

>Oof
>Das a little spicey
>You have the money
>It's just if you get both things will get expensive before you're out of here


CHOOSE

>Buy Both (Manta Cloak and Warmbrella)
>Buy One (Manta Cloak or Warmbrella)
>>
>>1482996
>>Buy Both (Manta Cloak and Warmbrella)
>>
>>1482996
Buy Warmbrella
>>
>>1482996
Lets not blow our load in the first spot. Just buy the Manta cloak
>>
>>1482996
our new bank account is gonna take a hit for this, but....
let's buy both. We'll be the most dapper marry poppins at the ball, even be able to glide down.
>>
>>1482996
>both

Money is easy to come by now, more so if we use the scissors to open up safes and such
>>
>>1482996
My dice have decided! BOTH!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>1482996
I'mma roll. 1 is Manta, 2 is Both.
>>
>>1482996
>3500

Expensive, and we only got 9000. We need some pocket cash off on the side to fix our burnt ass room. I say we get only the Manta Cloak.

>>1483014
Banks are smarter than that; they got packets in the bills that ruin them. Unless you're talking about robbing a different person with safes.

Plus, banks don't always have safes with money in them specifically to avoid robbery. That's on specific days that isn't broadcasted out to the public.
>>
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>>1482996
>Ask Heckapoo about Quest Buy's return policy
>if we could return the Warmbrella after killing the Drake, buy both the items
>if not, just buy the cloak
>>
>>1482996
Buy the cloak
>>1483026
7900*
>>
>>1482996
>>Manta cloak
>>
>>1483026
*Added

If we want to be a thief, we can always steal ATMs, and the scissors take out the problem of hefting the heavy things. Those machines are mega bitches to break into though, so we'll have to hope Muscles and rip one open.
>>
>>1483026
I'm pretty sure we could take out a bank car if we panned for it.
>>
>>1482996

>>1483021
Screw it. The Warmbrella could just be mauled aside by the Swamp Drake. Let's just take the Manta Cloak.
>>
I'm not saying go full criminal, but when we need money we have means to get it now in non-trivial amounts. Gear gives us the edge, a debit card gets us lunch.

Oh shit does this place take debit?
>>
>>1482996
Manta cloak
>>
>>1483035
An armored vehicle? We'll have to deal with the drivers, and they're usually armed guards, and can have remote cameras on them.

Is Anon willing to risk revealing his face or very unique arm to them if we target one? Can he deal with knocking them unconscious or kill them? And how would Anon tackle it in the first place? I doubt the scissors can make a portal big enough for the vehicle to take it out in a remote location, and attacking it in broad daylight is suicidal.

Security in the real world is hard as hell to crack. I advise avoid going full Heat unless we absolutely 100% need money and have no time to get it legally.
>>
guys, the umbrella is only fireproof. it wont protect us against anything else. maybe rain if it has no holes. on the other side, the cloak allows us to have more mobility in the form of portals from high places.
>>
>>1483028
THIS

>>1482621
Also I'd be nice if we got to see what the other isles have before we pay.
>>
Fun idea.
>Summon bug minion
>Learn to see through its eyes better
>Allow bug to be swallowed
>"see" inside target
> Use scissors to open portal to location of swallowed minion
>????
>dead target
>>
>>1483060
It's easy.

Open a portal when it's parked then send zombies in and loot it.
>>
lets try to look around, then come back if we don't find anything better. It is an infinite store.
>>
>>1483079
Stupid plan.

First off, they're not super strength zombies. They can't tear off the hinges of a reinforced door. And suggesting that Anon goes in to do it with Muscles is far too risky.

Second, they can be shot and killed by the guards. No hesitation, they'll open fire the moment they see rotting undead. They might even jump inside of the vehicle and lock themselves in. That thing is a lockbox on wheels.

Third, the doors are locked, and the keys may not be even on the guards. If they were, they'd be robbed more often. They're most likely held by the people at the destination the vehicle's going to. The entire vehicle is reinforced; the doors, the glass, the tires, damn near everything. It's a military vehicle. AND it's armed with alarms too; the moment an unauthorized person tries to interfere, it sets it off, and will definitely alert the police.

Fourth, they can still identify us even with zombies. Even if we disposed of the zombies we used, how many other humans in Echo Creek control zombies? Hell, word might have spread around already on Anon controling undead animals. Not hard to put two and two together to see he's moved on to humans. And if we ever have zombies at our side, that identifies us anyway as the armored car robbers. And taking out the guards immediately STILL wont protect us because of the CCTV inside the vehicles.

Fifth, there's a chance it's not even holding money at all. Could be important documents, or on its way back after a dropoff. We have to study that thing like the CIA to completely know when and where to hit it.

Sixth, still in public sight. Even if the alarms don't go off, we're still out in public while it's parked.

It's far, FAR too risky of a target to hit. We should only go for those if we need cash that very moment, like our lives depended on it. And even then it's a gamble if we succeed or even FIND cash in there to begin with.
>>
>>1482996
Buy One (Manta Cloak)
>>
Manta cloak only.
>>
>>1482996
We still need $ for mom and rent and stuff to assist with dad being locked away and other things.

The cloak is good enough for now. The brella could be a good shield though.

And we haven't even checked out the other stuff ( potions, armor, etc...)
>>
Let us be blessed and count

>Buy one
M 6
W 1

>Buy Both
4
>Leave
2

>A: "Hey. What's the return policy here?"
>Hekapoo looks Hekamused with your question
>H: "Ask one of the employees that."
>A: "Alright."
>You stroll over to one of the many Uniformed Sloth-men
>A: "Hey, man what's you guys' retur-"
>Sl: "That's not my department."
>A: "So who's department -is- it?"
>Sl: "I'd have to ask my manager."
>A: "Who's your manager?"
>Sl: "Well, I-..."
>He freezes
>His eyes are locked into space
>They roll into the back of his skull
>He lurches
>Spittle flies out of his mouth
>Sl: "EUCH soggoth R'leh N'zoth Mrr gurgu!"
>A: "What is this Moonspeak?"
>Sl: "HRUUKnna! But I think his name's Tim?"
>A: "Huh...I just wanna know where I can return stuff."
>Sl: "Oh! Well uh...what is it?"
>You point up at the Warmbrella
>Sl: "Oh, that's a magical artifact. No returns on those, sorry. Too easy for wizards to make fakes."
>A: "How could they make fakes?"
>Almost by providence
>A wizard comes soaring across the aisles
>He's surfing on top of a V-neck double headed guitar Dragon
>He's air-soloing

https://youtu.be/uHcC_8f-noc

>Lightning blasts off of his robes and makes duplicates of everything it hits
>A: "That's -so- irresponsible."
>Sl: "That's wizards."
>The Slothman reaches over for his PA controller
>Sl: "Cleanup on aisles 7 to 45."
>Soul crushing


>You snatch the cloak for now
>You can make your final decision later but this thing is crisp
>Leave the tags on
>Flexin'
>H: "Are you gonna wear it sideways?"
>A: "How do you wear a cloak sideways?"
>H: "By not being a Hekkin' nerd."
>Whateva


WHERE TO!?

>Surviving the Warp
>Home Decor
>Potions and Brews!
>>
>>1483161
Let's check Home Decor last, now we should SURVIVE THE WARP
>>
>>1483161

home decor
>>
>>1483161
>>Surviving the Warp
>>
>>1483161
Potions and Brews!
>>
>>1483161
Home decor. I have a feeling some secrets lie in there.
>>
>>1483120
I see those things stopping by places with atms at least once a week and they are for sure taking the cash out, it's not that hard to catch one full of cash. Secondly, I was talking about opening a portal directly into the truck which we can do as long as it's not moving. Hell if it is e just get a fly in there when the doors open.

If we're known for our zombies at this point then we just disguise them. Have them dress up while we stop somewhere and get ready to warp them in, they strip don to a body suit or something, hop over, rob the place hop back
and get dressed and it all happens before anyone knows it did.

>>1483161
Potions and Brews
>>
>>1483161
>Potions and brews
We need them healies boi
>>
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>>1483161
SURVIVING THE WARP
>>
>>1483161
>SURVIVIN' THA WORP
>>
Surviving the warp.
>>
>>1483161
>>Home Decor
>>
>>1483161
Surviving the Warp
>>
>>1483161
surviving the warp
>>
>>1483161
Home Decor
>>
>>1483161
>Surviving the Warp
>>
>Potions and Brews!
See if there is an Alchemy set and some books
>>
>Surviving the Warp
>>
THE VOTES

>Home Decor
4 votes

>Potions and Brews
3 votes

>Surviving the Wrap
8 votes

PATH CHOSEN

>You dash around Hekapoo and end up in the "Survival" section
>Totems
>Totems
>TOTEMS!
>There's a big plastic bin of totems
>On a nearby hatrack hang charms of all sorts alien Religions
>GUARANTEED OR YOUR SOUL BACK! ****
>You look down at the asteriks at the bottom
> "*psyche, fool"
>Wow
>A: "Is there like a ...Better Magic business Bureau?"
>H: "There's the High Magic Council."
>A: "What do they do?"
>H: "Annoy me."
>A: "Wh-"
>H: "Hey, look! Products to consume!"
>She's right
>Shopping still abounds


CHARM OF THE UNDESTINED
A big mess of religious symbols intended to catch-all lesser supernatural entities

HOUSEVATOR
A portable, collapsible door that leads to a private living quarters in a pocket dimension

FUNYONS
They're funyons

HELL COLLAR
A red leather collar with golden spikes
Binds wearer to serve the owner

WARNING: May cause you to be considered "evil"

>Hekapoo is picking through the totems
>Her eyes light up when she finds one that a buzzer feature
>She is now lounging in the air with the totem shoved in her lower back
>H: "Aaaaahhh."

what do?
>>
>>1483331
>CHARM OF THE UNDESTINED

>HOUSEVATOR
>>
>>1483331
Can we investigate the CHARM OF THE UNDESTINED and the HOUSEVATOR?

Maybe ask Hekapoo on their specific details?
>>
>>1483331
>funyons
FUNYONS
>>
>>1483331
HOUSEVATOR
that sounds Amazing to have!
>>
ask for specifics
>>
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>>1483331
>High Magic Council
...Did you meant to say Magic High Commission?
Or is it different in this Reality?

Are H-Poo and the other members created by Glossaryk also extra-reality beings?
>>
>>1483331
>HELL COLLAR
>A red leather collar with golden spikes
Binds wearer to serve the owner
IMP GIRL HERE I COME
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS
>>
>>1483331
HOUSEVATOR
>>
>>1483331
huh. That collar sounds kinky as hell.

>HELL COLLAR
>>
>>1483331
housevator
>>
>>1483331
>HOUSEVATOR
>>
>>1483331
HELLVATOR
AND HELL COLLAR
>>
>>1483331
....... TIIIIME! FOR THE OBVIOUS DEMON PATH!

The collar! Get the collar!
>>
>>1483331
>FUNYONS
>>
>>1483331

>>1483342
Since everyone is being an anti-Funyon faggot:
>Charm of the Undestined
>Housevator
>>
>>1483331
Charm of the Understand and Housevator. Ask her the prices.
One is a fuck-all-beings of this caliber, the other is a Bag-of-Holding, except it's an entire room.

Also ask H-Poo what the hell are Funyons.
>>
>>1483331
>CHARM OF THE UNDESTINED

Seems good for basic protection.

>HELL COLLAR

We need to get this on a swamp drake.
>>
>>1483331
Our own portable pocket dimension? this is what we've always wanted.
HOUSEVATOR
>>
>>1483361
nvm, lets do the demon apth
>>
Hell collar and housevator.
>>
Housevator
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyRkKGschq0

Makes me think of Anon, what'yall think?
>>
>>1482627
>>1482617
>>1482603
>>1482603
>>1482598
>>1482591
>>1482587
>>1482582
Great work dude.

booty pic a best.
>>
Check for fine print on funyons and collar.
>>
guys, if we get the collar, we could slip it around the drake's neck and command it to stay still.
Then kill it.
>>
>>1483331
>Buzzing in her lower back

I mean you can have it buzz elsewhere too if you're a girl... or a guy too I guess, but dass gay
>>
>>1483331
Ok so it's clear that Funyons aren't pretty special so we should ask about them
>>
>>1483430
How about we just kill it?
>>
>>1483430
Or we could keep it and have a dragon mount and unlimited supply of dragon parts for our zombies.
>>
>>1483437
sure, we can walk up and punch it if you want to die.
>>
>>1483447
that would also be good.
>>
>>1483437
This is how we end up trying to Anime and then have rolls that leave us almost dying Kamina-lite
>>
>>1483436
>a product in SURVIVING THE WARP
>not special
>>
>>1483459
except nobody would care when we die
>>
>>1483450
>>1483459
Of course,silly me. Because putting the collar with 3 dex would be easier than cutting his troat with 9 strenght
>>
>>1483466
Maybe before THE BOOK.

Now we have people who do care. Our good deeds, and impressive deeds, have seared the name Anonymous McMoot into the hearts and/or minds of others. Be it in a positive or negative light.
>>
>>1483331
>HELL COLLAR
>HOUSEVATOR
>>
>>1483476
You do remember that its scales are a high class armor in their own right, yeah?
>>
>>1483476
it'll be easier if we wait until it's asleep.
>>
>>1483462
Sorry i mistyped
We SHOULD ask for help
Becausw rhey clearly are SPECIAL
>>
>>1483331
>HOUSEVATOR
>A portable, collapsible door that leads to a private living quarters in a pocket dimension
Secret lair to hide magic shit from Mom and Ron
>>
>>1483459
>>1483450
>Implying it isn't easier to kill a drake than capture one alive.
>>
>>1483493
you mean with the Hell Collar?

Because that would be way easier than killing it.
>>
>>1483498
we can capture it and then kill it without worrying he will tenderize us.
>>
>>1483493
It is riskier, but the payoff would be well worth it.

Zombie minions with high quality armour, high class undead with bits of dragon in them, our own dragon that doesn't need will to animate.
>>
>>1483483
You do remember we can cut cars in half,yeah?
And that young mewmen can kill those things?
>>1483484
>>1483498
Do you even know if the collar would fit on his neck? Or if the collar works on non-inteligent beings?
>>
THE VOTES

>Housevator
12 votes

>HELL COLLAR
7 Votes

>FUNYONS
5 votes

>CHARM OF THE UNDESTINED
5 votes
>You gotta get a clear picture here
>Examining some of this stuff doesn't yield much
>A: "Yoh, H-P what's a 'Funyon' is it a freaky fried delectable?"
>H: "Who taught you Delectable?"
>A: "I- I read..."
>H: "Psh."
>A: "I do! I read fanfiction at like a University level!"
>Hekamocked
>H: "Ok. Watch what I'm doing."
>She plucks a bag of Funyons off the little shelf
>Rips it open and eats one
>She shoves another one in your open mouth
>Your whole body feels like Cool Ranch
>It's so crunchy
>So dry
>You're tearing up
>A: "Whuffa fuk?"
>H: "Oh! Rif."
>Hekapoo punches you dead in the mouth
>Ow
>A: "OuWC!"
>Then shoves a fucking salty ass Fistful of Funyon in your mouth

>ANON TOOK 5 DAMAGE FROM HEKAPUNCH

>ANON REGAINS 5 HP FROM EATING 5 FUNYONS

>H: "Healing snacks!"
>She pops another
>Some fall down her shirt
>L-lewd
>A: "You missed so-"
>She waves you off
>H: "Don't worry about those they're in storage now."
>A: "Ya nasty."
>H: "Once again. I live in an Oven. Alone. I can't gross me out anymore."
>A: "S'gross. What about this portable house? Also could you just give me the prices?"
>Hekapoo pops open the Housevator
>Inside is a comfortable looking Studio apartment
>The floor is brushed concrete
>It's a perfect temperature
>There's no furnishings but...
>It has a little loft for a bed
>A sink
>Tons of outletts
>Dang, son
>It's plush

>H: "Ooooh nice little love nest."
>A: "Shaddup."
>You're blushing again
>This happens too much around Hekapoo
>H: "Haha, looking for a place to take the ladies?"
>A: "N-no!"
>H: "I knew it. Who's the lucky guy?"
>A: "NO, DAMMIT! STOP WITH THE HARASSMENT YOU ASSMINT!"
>H: "Why did you rhyme that?"
>A: "I Get LYRICAL WHEN I'M UPSET AND SPIRITUAL."
>H: "Yuh."
>A: "How much is this damn thing?"
>Hekapoo pops out to check the tag
>H: "Ooh! It's on sale!"
>A: "Also, how good are the Charms?"


cont
>>
>>1483533
it was made in hell, why wouldn't it stretch?

even if it doesn't stretch, we don't have to have it around its neck. We could probably get it to work even if it's only on a toe.

Also, mind control stuff works BEST on non-intelligent beings, because they have no thoughts to oppose you
>>
>>1483541

>It breaks down like this


>HOUSEVATOR
On sale 50% off : Current price $3,000
-Unlimited Electricity
-Door collapses to the size of a phone
-no furniture


>HELL COLLAR
-Is large enough to fit any Medium Class creature
-Costs a firm $666 per collar
-There are 6 collars here


>THE CHARM
-Keeps off Demons up to Hellslave level, which is the third level of demons
-Scares away weaker Ghosts
-Turns masterless undead
-Frightens any monster lower than level 5
Costs $500

>FUNYONS
-Only cost $100
-Each Funyon restores 1hp
-A bag contains 25 Funyons and can be eaten fast as hell

What buy?

FINAL VOTE FOR THIS AISLE
>>
>>1483544
that housevator is pretty pricey.

let's get the hell collar
and funyons
>>
>>1483544
>>HOUSEVATOR
>>
>>1483544
I want one hell collar, and the house please!
>>
>>1483544
>THE CHARM
>HOUSEVATOR
>FUNYONS
>>
>>1483544
>HOUSEVATOR
>>
>>1483544
HOUSEVATOR AND 1 HELL COLLAR
>>
>>1483544
Voting for charms.
>>
>>1483544
Housevator for sure,maybe some funyons.
>>
>>1483544
How much cash we got left?

I vote Housevator and a Hell Collar.

Ask Hekapoo if she can demonstrate wearing the Hell Collar on herself
>>
>>1483544
housrvator
>>
>>1483544
>>1483568
>also CHARM
>>
>>1483544
>HOUSEVATOR
$3000 for a room with unlimited electricity.
>>
>>1483544
>HOUSEVATOR
>HELL COLLAR
>>
Housevator, charm, 1 collar.
>>
File: 0e8.png (1.09 MB, 1280x1712)
1.09 MB
1.09 MB PNG
>>
>>1483544
>HOUSEVATOR
>HELL COLLAR ×2
>>
>>1483544
Housevator
Hell Collar x2
>>
>>1483544
>HOUSEVATOR
>HELL COLLAR 2
>FUNYONS 2
>>
>>1483592>>1483598
Getting 1 collar is something and could prove useful in some occasions, but why do you want two?
>>
>>1483544
HOUSEVATOR

THE CHARM
>>
>>1483604
when we need another person controlled but dont want to free the first?
>>
>>1483544
HouseVator and ONE Hell Collar.
>>
We need to atleast get some funyon, at least two packs
>>
>>1483571
y'now,add the charm,why not. And dont buy the collar,gotta keep the status quo.
>>
>>1483612
So what about when you have to collar a person but you already have two collared?

See we could do this forever, and we still have no idea on who would we use it or why.
Meanwhile The Charm and Housevator have immediate applications.
>Safe Storage place
>Protection inside of THE HOLE
Plus, the Collar has clear nagative effects just from owning one.
>>
>>1483627
But why not get those AND the collar!?
>>
>>1483627
>>1483621
>>1483544
>>1483610
We DO NOT need a collar...Right now.
IF we ever feel like we'd need one we could just come back and buy one later, but the Housevator is on sale right now.
>>
>>1483544
>HOUSEVATOR
>THE CHARM
>>
>>1483631
Because we don't want to waste all our money in a senseless shopping spree?
Fucking consumerism.
>>
>>1483627
>>1483638
thats why we are going to buy the two of them.
>>
>>1483544
>HOUSEVATOR
and
>THE CHARM
>>
>>1483641
But why NOT!?

Also, did the math. We'll still have over 2500 earth turd bucks after these three things.
>>
>>1483544
>THE CHARM
>HOUSEVATOR
>>
>>1483650
>Also, did the math. We'll only have a quarter of our original 10k when we're done with only half of the isles.
When we're married I'll handle the family's finances.
>>
>>1483671
Well, the collar added to that is only minus 666$. It's not like I'm askin' to get the warmbrella with it, which was over 1K.

And actually, the actual amount is 2734$, and before the collars it's 3400. That's not really meant to accentuate my point or anything, I just wanted to give accurate numbers.
>>
>>1483544
>Housevator
>1 collar
>The Charm
>>
>>1483544
>>HOUSEVATOR
>>FUNYONS 2
>>
>>1483650
Eh no that we know it's only for medium class creatures I don't think we really need it unless we plan to cuck Marco and/or Star with it.

When e start having to deal with Ludo again we could use one on one of his guys but we won't need that for a little while.
>>
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The votes...

>HOUSEVATOR
17 votes

>HELL COLLAR
10 votes

>FUNYONS
4 solid votes but included in many lists

>CHARM
9 votes...


>You pick up one of the doors
>It falls inward, collapsing over and over it ends up a tiny door just big enough for your human hand to slip in
>Hekapoo shows you how to expand it quick
>H: "You just flick your wrist like bam! There, you got it!"
>After getting acquainted with the idea of having your own magical apartment you reach over for one of the HELL COLLARS
>Your mind whirs with the possibilities
>The dominance
>The power
>A: "Ey yo how do these work?"
>Hekapoo takes one of the collars
>She looks down at it with...sadness
>Disappointment
>When she looks back up at you she looks the most serious you've ever seen her
>H: "Do you really want this, Anon?"
>A: "Well, I mean-"
>H: "Taking someone's freedom away isn't something a good person does."
>A: "I...I didn't think I needed to be what others see as good."
>Hekapoo looks Hekahurt
>H: "When you buy it they'll give you a word that's only known by Lucikron himself. It'll bind the wearer's soul to yours by all the powers of the pit.To resist you will be to know true suffering."
>She dangles the collar in front of your eyes, her only exposed one gleams orange
>H: "It's the ultimate refusal of someone else's destiny. Incredibly powerful...and very selfish."
>She lowers the strip of leather, getting so close to your face her heat starts to give you a quick bronze
>H: "Are. You. Sure?"

>Some shelves behind you rustle
>A hunched over guy is picking up like 4 collars and a Tiki totem
>When he spots you guys looking her scuttles off
>A: "Was that Steve Buscemi?"

>H: "ARE YOU SURE?!"


ARE YOU SURE

>Y
>N
>>
>>1483732
NO
>>
>>1483732
>N
>>
>>1483732
YES! We'll only use it for good, pinky promise.
>>
>>1483732
>>N
We may be a badguy, but were not a bad guy. Lets not
>>
>>1483732
N... No. Let's not get it.

Explain to Hekapoo it wasn't what she thought it was for. Tell her our plan to try it on the swamp drake. Let's keep her on our good side.
>>
>>1483732
>>Y
>>
>>1483732
HEKAROUTE IN DANGER. ABORT ABORT ABORT
>>
>>1483732
So it ain't just a magical mind-control collar that we can use to interrogate people? Pass.
>>
>>1483732
>N
>>
>>1483753
This
>>
File: 133.jpg (121 KB, 900x600)
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>>1483732
NO

NO COLLARS

NO BULLYING

If anything, tell her you thought they could be used as interrogation devices and nothing else.
>>
>>1483732
fuck, this sounds more hard core than I thought it would be....

I... I don't know if this is okay anymore...

we can't let our will falter now. That collar is super useful, even if we never have to use it.

Yes, we take it.
>>
>>1483732
>"....On second thought, I'll just get the Charm instead."
>>
>>1483753
It only fits on medium sizes,let it go already.
>>
guys, the collar is the last resource option. we dont have to get slaves with it.
>>
N
>>
>>1483732
The collars sound alot worse than expected.
>>
>>1483732
Nope
>>
>>1483773
Yeah, I know. I doubt it would've worked to begin with.

Still, best give Hekapoo our stupid plan to ease tensions, even if it would've never fit.
>>
>>1483732
Na, let's not. Tell her we were just thinking about getting a cool monster pet, not like a sapient slave or anything.
>>
>>1483806
That excuse will make us look dumb,think of something else.
>>
>>1483732
No
>>
>>1483820
Rather look dumb than sadistic in front of Hekapoo.
She already thinks we're kinda dumb anyways.
>>
File: quote.png (21 KB, 785x209)
21 KB
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from the discord
>>
>>1483833
Quest also said the collars can also be reused after being removed so long as it remains in tact.
>>
>>1483757
>>1483833
That changes it for me. If it's not If it's not a permanent bind and can be removed and used on others it's worth getting. Let's buy it. Try and tell Hekapoo we'll do it for what we believe are the right reasons.
>>
>>1483760
>>1483732
Changing my vote to buy it whole explaining our reasoning and telling her we would never, ever use it to enslave anyone.
>>
>>1483849
That is literally the only reason you'd buy a collar that specifically enslaves someone to you
>>
>>1483732
>N

Then ask her how to defend against these collars because if we can get them, someone else can sure as hell use them against us.
>>
>>1483820
She sees us as a dumb kid. And shit, we really fucking are.

This helps calm her down a bit.
>>
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24 KB GIF
>>1483849
>Buy a collar specifically designed to enslave people
>Lol we won't use it for that.
>>
>>1483849
That's dumb. Be honest with her, she's not stupid. The whole purpose of the collar is to enslave people. We're gonna use it on someone.
>>
>>1483732
>Y
>>
>>1483864
we can get information out of people with the collar.
>>
>>1483732
>Hell No and apologize for suggesting it. We know well enough how bad it is to be dominated so completely.
>>
>>1483874
Still enslaving them to get the information
>>
>>1483732
Y
>>
Y
>>
Y
>>
>>1483874
so? its better than torture. well, not by much, but still.
>>
>>1483889
No it is literal torture for them to refuse you
> To resist you will be to know true suffering
>>
>>1483889
They're only tortured by it if they don't co-operate.
>>
>>1483732
No, let's not ya dipsticks.
>>
>>1483732
>N
>>
>>1483896
So just like real torture?
>>
>>1483854
>>1483864
>>1483869
Hey, I just want to use it for enhanced interrogation then pop it off. I can't speak for everyone else, but permanently enslaving someone is repulsive to me.
>>
>>1483894
nah, in real world first they torture you and then they get the information. with the collar you know what you will get if you dont cooperate, but you wont suffer until you disobey
>>
>>1483732
Say no to evil collars
TODAY
>>
>>1483906
No in the real world they ask you to give them the information and threaten you with torture.
>>
>>1483909
I meant and then threaten you with torture
>>
>>1483903
>enhanced interrogation
we can read minds
>>
>>1483903
We don't really have anyone in mind, in character, for interrogation though do we? No reason to actually want it outside of getting a cool pet.
>>
>>1483903
We dont need to do interrogation when we can read minds,and hekapoo knows that. We should just say No and give no excuses
>>
>>1483732
N
>>
This is a truly heated debate...

15 more minutes to vote.

Present your cases.

The Power of Hell?

Or the Perils of Freedom?
>>
to all people who think that the collar is bad. the BOOK IS WORSE and we have been using its powers without any remorse
>>
>>1483732
N
Buy charm, much more useful
>>
>>1483933
Changing to Yes
>>
>>1483930
THIS

>>1483732
We do NOT need the collar.
>>
>>1483948
>Implying we can't get both the carm and the collar
>>
Guys, we can't not buy the collar just because H-poo might get upset at us.

It's not like we're permanently taking somebody's will away, or even planning on using it on somebody. We're using it to beat or capture the drake, and maybe as a nuclear option after that.
>>
>>1483959
It won't fit on the drake
>>
>>1483959
It only works on small or medium targets. Drake is larger than that. Plus we're planning on killing and skinning it, not mind controlling it.
>>
>>1483959
It won't fit on the drake, only medium sized creatures.

We could go looking for some other monster it would fit though.
>>
>>1483971
we can put it on the pinkie toe.

we might need confirmation on this one, though. Do we have to put it on somebody's neck for it to work?
>>
>>1483924
>>1483930
That is an excellent point.

>>1483849
>>1483732
Changing vote back to NO.
>>
>>1483833
So theoretically, if our Will was greater than Lucikron. Could we wear one as a fashion statement?
>>
>>1483946
How is the book worse? The powers that come from it are raise the dead (they have their own will) light things on fire (neutral, can be used both as a weapon and as a tool) and blood for blood (which in its base form is purely a willing healing spell.) The deal damage and heal is a derivative version of the spell, that is far weaker.
>>
>>1483980
But it only works on medium creatures
>>
>>1483732
Im gonna have to say no on this one
>>
>>1483959
The collar doesn't fir the drake.
We can also mind read people and tell fi they're lying.
>>
For everyone who says we're not planning on using it on somebody then why would we buy it?
>>
>>1483988
luna killed her ENTIRE WORLD to create it. yet we dont say anything, hell we embraced its power.
we just got mad with the collars because our pseudo waifu is pussywipping us.
>>
>>1483994
what if they shield their minds?

also, we can fit it on the drake, because it doesn't have to be around the neck to make it work

though Quest says we'd need two of them to get it to work on the drake
>>
>>1483980
>Put it on a pinkie toe

Nigga, don't go full retard. It wont work.

Damn thing says only medium sized creatures, so anything that has a neck less thick than a human's thigh most likely. I think they would've tried that already with smaller collars on toes or fingers, and it didn't work, and put focus in other shit like a bigger collar or a spell or some shit.

We don't need it; plain and simple. Besides, aren't we getting servants using our charm and "wit"? Far more reliable than will-broken, brain dead lumps of flesh.
>>
>>1483930
>>1483983
>Random fish monster could tell we were reading his mind
>Thinking nobody else would be able to
Come on now
>>
>You'd need two of them attached

GUYS!!! QUEST Confirmed we can use the collars to control the drake! We just need two of them! Say yes!
>>
>>1484002
We couldn't do anything about luna destroying her world but we can do better then her and not enslave someone to us using the devils power. At the very least we could at least use our own power.
>>
>>1484014
That is a terrible idea.
>>
ALRIGHT YOU BITCH NIGGAS I SEE YOUR GAME
I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW MOTHER WOULD BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU ALL BUT I AM WILLING TO MAKE A DEAL

WE CAN ALWAYS COME BACK TO QUEST BUY, SO HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF JUST SAYING "NO" WE RESOLVE TO COME BACK SOMEDAY WHEN HECKAPOO IS NOT ON OUR ASS ABOUT IT.
CAUSE WE ALL KNOW SHE'S THE ONLY REASON YOU GUYS WON'T BUY ONE.
>>
>>1484014
Nah, still no. Hekapoo is still of use to us as an ally. This can stop a lot of options and precious information she can give us if we buy one.
>>
>>1484015
wonder woman has her lasso of thruth which is basically the same as the collar and she is a hero. why cant we use the collar for the same purposes?
>>
>>1484027
Not really I never wanted the collar in the first place.
>>
I think if Luna was here she would say something like "If you want to enslave people,you should do it by your own means"
>>
>>1484014
Hot dog, really?

If true then I vote yes for two collars.
>>
>>1484039
The lasso doesn't show you true suffering if you try to refuse to answer.
>>
>>1484027
Nah.
>>
>>1484039
Dumbass, you're stretching so hard you're fucking paper thin.

Same as the collar? Are you fucking daft? She said it straight up fucks their soul over once put on, and any actions taken against the master damns them to Hell.

And you're saying it's the same as a fucking piece of twine that makes people not lie?

Fucking edge-fags.
>>
>>1484027
I don't want to waste money on it right now actually.
>>
>>1484049
no, it just FORCES you to answer every question truthfully
>>
>>1484039
We can read minds and can dig deep. Like with Tom and we learned all his failures in life.
>>
>>1484055
Yeah, but it stops when you take it off.
>>
>>1484063
Yes but it doesn't torture you to make you answer truthfully
>>
>>1484066
That was with a twenty
>>
>>1484063
That's not torture.
>>
>>1484076
no, it just robs you of your will and ability to do otherwise

I don't see how that's torturous at all
>>
>>1484002
Yes. The deed is already done though, so who cares? No one else is using that power. Hell, I would be willing to argue that if we find other dead worlds we try to steal the power from them too. No one else is using it.
>>
>>1484049
point is that it proves that things like this can be used for good.
>>
ho cares about the moral implications of using it on people? We're not gonna use it on people, we're gonna get us a drake.

We should be debating on whether or not getting said drake is worth it.
>>
>>1484083
Still not torture as all it does is remove your ability to lie.
>>
Don't buy it. Its obviously something that someone used to hurt H-poo in the past and its a sloppy tool used by the weak to get their way. It shows how base we are and we are better for abstaining.
>>
>>1484090
No it doesn't. All it proves is that the collar can torture someone until they tell you the truth when we could just read there mind in the first place
>>
>>1484097
no, it also compels you to answer the question

that's fucked up
>>
>>1484094
Not worth it. Too hard to mantain and mewmen can kill him.
>>
>>1484105
As fucked up as forcing you to endure true suffering? I think not.
>>
We can still only use it if we must. We have no way of beating people like Star and Tom in a straight up fight otherwise.
>>
>>1484101
WAAAAH, MY WAIFU DOESNT LIKE IT, SO WE WILL PUSS OUT.
>>
>>1483732
We wanted to kill the drake in the first place.

Collars are irrelevant to that end.
>N
>>
>>1484115
How are we going to get the collar on tom or star if we get into a fight with them anyways? Hope they ignore it as we try to put it around their neck? Then have them be our eternal slaves as I doubt either would not attack us if we remove it.
>>
>>1484113
it's worse than suffering. it's a type of suffering that refuses somebody else their own will, an existential torture.
>>
Its one of those "If you have true power then you don't need to use things like this." All shortcuts to power are dubious at best and one the collars is something used by the weak to pull shit they normally couldn't.

>>1484116
You're dam right. Heckapoo is a cool being of high power who worked her ass off to get to the top and is kind of our mentor in a way. If shes disappointed we would even consider such a tool then its a pretty clear sign that its something we should rebuff. We can get power on our own terms.
>>
>>1484120
we can buy two, link them up and foce the drake to stay still. safe and easy
>>
We could take the scales off without killing it. They regenerate after all.
>>
>>1484108
>>1484094

Just to restate my original case, having a never ending supply of dragon parts for armour and zombies would be very useful and it would be a powerful minion at our current level.
>>
>>1484133
We'd have to get close as fuck to it's mouth to do that. Don't pretend that it's easier to capture it than killing it.
>>
>>1484116
Nice argument, faggot

Shit aint right to use. We want to dominate some fucker, we do it our way. Contracts with anyone other than us is retarded.

Now stop whining like a cunt, it's not winning people over to your side.
>>
>>1484138
we just do it when it's asleep
>>
>>1484125
As does the collar! but that's not all it also forces you through true suffering.
>>
>>1484138
It's got a long neck my man.
>>
>>1484143
You know what.... out of all the reasons not to get the collars I respect yours the most. Not using it because of pride, I can totally take that.
>>
>>1484144
Now you're just stretching you suit your wishes. It's still much easier
to kill a sleeping drake than capturing it.

>>1484150
No it doesn't. Watch Quest Drawings again.
>>
If you need any more arguments about why the collar is bad news then think about our dad. You better believe he would use something similar to get control over us and our mom. He used violence and money to keep us under control. If all he had to do was slap a collar on mom then you bet he would. A tool of the weak has no business being in the hands of a future god.
>>
>>1484154
not with the hell collar. that makes capturing it super easy.
>>
File: glossaryck0.jpg (36 KB, 510x287)
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THE TIME FOR WORDS IS AT AN END!

LET THE VOTES BE COUNTED AND LET THE PATH
BE
CHOSE!

https://youtu.be/ki4a4d7wJRQ
>>
>>1484143
H U B R I S
>>
>>1484158
Wrong.

It makes controlling things easier.
Not capturing them.
>>
>>1484156
this to me screams of refusing a useful tool due to pride, this is hubris. The collar is simply a tool, how we use it decides whether or not it's evil.
>>
>>1484158
Even if we capture it,is gonna starve to dead if we dont feed him. Too much work for very little reward.
>>
>>1484156
That is the stupidest fucking argument.

By that right we should never use a belt because he used to whip us with one.

Tools have their uses, don't judge them by who wields them.
>>
>>1484162
>>1484166
Nice samefagging.

Using a phone to use wifi and mobile data for different IDs because you couldn't get anyone else to agree with you?

Pussy.
>>
REMINDER THAT WE NEED TO KILL THE DRAKE IF WE WANT TO MAKE SCALE ARMOR AND MAKE A UNDEAD DRAGON GIRL ZOMBINA
WE CAN USE THE COLLARS MONEY TO BUT FUNYONS AND STILL KEEP HPOO HAPPY

LAST CHANCE TO TAKE YOUR VOTE BACK
>>
>>1484156
>Resorting to "but we dun wanna be like dad"
Pathetic.
>>
>>1484166
Agreed, just like a gun isn't inherently evil so are these collars
>>
>>1484177
you idiot
>>
>>1484182
Good counterargument, bitch tits.
>>
>>1484181
The collar is a torture device though.

You think torture is nice, EVEN when used as a tool to do good?
>>
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>>1484177
>>
>>1484166
>>1484175

The collar sets an image for us and its not a good one. Does it give us an easy way to capture demons and bend them to our will, sure. But the way you do things matters and the way this collar operates is shameful and really shows that we are just a weak being. Even an evil being can have pride and operate with some integrity and employ some methods and avoid others.

Do you want to be a bottom feeder like Ludo? Do you want to be a pathetic wizard that has no pride or honor? Sure there are times to take the gloves off and do whatever is necessary, but we don't want to be the lowest common denominator as a matter of practice. Shits weak.
>>
>A collar that tortures people and is literally powered by demons is not evil

The fuck?
>>
>>1484204
the tools dont define the person.
>>
>>1484203
anon, our guy here is a child, a young person with barely a will to equal any other thing in the multiverse. I'm not saying we use the collar on absolutely every mother fucker that comes up to get us, I'm saying we keep it as our nuclear option.

Also, I don't agree with this strong vs weak dichotomy. Usually, it's better for people to underestimate you than for them to come at you with everything they have.
>>
>>1484203
Lucikron himself endorses this shit, are you honestly calling the king of all demons a weak bottom feeder?
>>
>>1484222
No he's saying using lucikrons power instead of our makes us a weak bottom feeder
>>
>>1484234
>Gimping yourself because of pride and hubris
That's how people lose
>>
>>1484234
just like using lunas and the book power?
>>
>>1484221
Its precisely the opposite you mouth breather. It takes a stronger will to say no to the easy path. This isn't a matter of having an ace in the hole, its about what it says we will resort to. If you want to be a pleb and use the drake sword then do it, but know that its going to stunt your build, cause long term growth issues and mark you as a pathetic scrublord. But if you want that for anon I guess go for it.

>>1484222
Lucikron is a punk and completely wrecked his direct progeny without effort.

>>1484217
They really do, more so when its something this base.
>>
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>>1484199
Wow, splended job, you used inspect.

Fuck off, dumbass.
>>
>>1484243
Relying on anothers power sets you up for being weak on your own.
>>
>>1484244
Luna herself said that the power she gave us wasn't something we didn't have already inside. She just gave us the basic tools to unlock our potential. Look at the progress we have made on our own with out Mama. ;.;
>>
>>1484251
>Getting this angry because you're wrong

It's okay, we all make mistakes.
>>
>>1484244
We're not Directly using Luna's power though.
We're using Luna's tools and the source of magic she created for our own needs.
Our talent is inherent to us.
>>
>>1484234
Some things just don't required a personal touch or direct investment. That's how being a proper boss goes, you use what works and invest your energy wisely. Delegate, use others' resources, plan and bide your time for when you have to act directly.

>>1484252
In no way does taking over this drake hamper us unless we fail hard in the fight which is a risk anyways.
>>
>>1484247
No anon, we're not using the drake sword, we're using a pocket dragon tooth for parries.
>>
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>>1484267
You're the guy who used inspect to show he's not the same dumbass, not me.
>>
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IT IS DONE!

T H E V O T E S


>Yes, buy the collar
13 Votes
The witches number


>No, don't buy the collar
16 votes...

THE PATH IS CHOSEN


>You grip the leather
>Your hand shakes
>There's so much you could solve with these
>A: "It could...fix so much."
>H: "Would it?"
>A: "I'd have something I could rely on. A sure bet. What if other people have them already!?"
>H: "They do, Anon. Trust me."
>A: "How can anyone not want to use them?"
>H: "Because they don't want to take away the thing they'd never want taken from them."
>A: "It's...it's just so tempting."
>H: "Of course it's tempting."
>Hekapoo gives you a sad, longing look
>H: "Everything shines in hell."
>You take the collar back from H-poo
>The metal gleams beneath the unfeeling fluorescent orb spells of Quest Mart
>You see your face
>A tiny spark of pink light ignites in your pupil
>Destiny
>Luna told you about Destiny
>How it denied her every happiness
>How her future was predestined by the forces of inevitability...
>So she ripped her world apart
>You think long
>Hard
>A: "..."
>Before putting the collar back

>A: "L-let's get outta here."
>You turn
>A: "I got better things to do than pick on scrubs with magic trinkets."
>You flex muscles
>He gets extra huge for Hekapoo
>A: "I got my right hand man if I ever wanna strongarm these hoes."
>You've been Heka-noogied
>H: "Haha, I knew you were somethin' Anon."
>Hekapoo leads you out of the aisle and off toward home decor
>Smile on her face
>Her arm draped around your neck
>Man
>It's like a heating pad made out of Soft-girl
>A: "You're holding me."
>H: "Yeah."
>A: "It doesn't hurt."
>She smirks
>H: "It's cause I trust yah, nerd."
>A: "Hah! Gay."

>While Heckapoo gets her yuks you sneakily turn back toward the collars
>Just before you escape the aisle your reflection catches in one of the spikes
>You see yourself
>Looking back
>With a whole lot of futures ahead of you
>It keeps happening
>Nearly doing something that hurts other people
>How long until you go the other way?

>As you return back to the task at hand your phone starts to buzz
>You look down

cont
>>
>>1484296
Oh man, you use a smug anime picture.
How am I gonna respond to this.
I don't have the autism necessary to dig through the inspect shit to modify it to settle an internet argument.

I do have enough autism to argue about it though
>>
>>1484325
>>1484325

HEADBOOK NOTIFICATION

>Jackie Lynn Thomas has posted a new photo!

>It's a pic of her back at the beach
>At an open Martial arts tournament
>The camera's angled down on her smiling face
>She's seated up high in the air
>Holding a Trophy that says "#1 Beach Brawler"
>On top of a purple tentacle
>Hugging Cheek to Cheek
>With Marco Diaz


SESSION END!

https://youtu.be/fygutp-zA4E

Follow the twitter to catch art and special updates!

https://twitter.com/StarVsQuest

JOIN THE DISCORD FOR ULTIMATE MORAL DEBATE about waifu crafting

https://discord.gg/x25nASh

Next session TUESDAY! AT 5:30pm US CENTRAL TIME!|

Thanks for playing!
>>
>>1484325
We made the right choice. Rare in a quest.
>>
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thanks for running
>>
>>1484325
>>Nearly doing something that hurts other people
>>How long until you go the other way?


When we get the chance and a waifu isn't around. That's when.
>>
>>1484337
Wow
>>
>>1484337
Mom a qt 3.14
>>
>>1484337
You wonder wonderful person
>>
>>1484337
noice
love the line quality
>>
>>1484337
667 BTFO
>>
>>1484330
FUCK YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU MARCO DIAZ

Awesome sess Quest
>>
>>1484330
Time to break Marco's other arm.

The bitch.

>>1484337
Wew, that's some good shit man. Good picture on Mom too.

Think you can do one of her either trying cold turkeying Xanax or being doped to hell on it?
>>
>>1484337
I'd fuck our mom.

Hell I'd fuck everyone in this pic.
>>
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>>1484337
Fantastic.
>>
I liked the way the last post turned out in lieu of all the serious debate we had towards the end there.

So guys, I know it's gonna be hard to do this, but let's not fly off the handle here. Remember, Marco's arm is going to turn on him and get expunged. If the arm doesn't come after us then, soon, we'll have nothing to worry about.
>>
>>1484330
Great, now we have to post a picture of us slaying the Drake on Headbook to one-up him.

Thanks Marco.
>>
>>1484337
Dude your shut is soooo god like
>>
>>1484328
I have nothing more to disprove of you. The collar option's gone. For now, anyway. I doubt we'll reach a consesus on getting one later.

We're dominating them the natural way.

Good day, fagola.

>>1484337
Nice stuff. Thanks for the art.
>>
>>1484386
Now that's a plan.

Should do a top-down sorta pick, our foot on his dead head or some shit while having Muscles throw the horns.

Fuck you Marco.
>>
>>1484325
Watching trigun while waiting for this is hurting my heart man
>>
http://www.strawpoll.me/13017342/r
>>
Best girl strawpoll
http://www.strawpoll.me/13017342/r
>>
>>1484457
>>1484466
Glad to see best girl is winning.
>>
>>1484365
Bless, friend

>>1484337
>>1484337
WE ARE BLESST
Thank you, friend you give us all hope and life

>>1484436
Animu fuels many hearts
May it help you grit your teeth when the time is right
>>
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>>1483945
I'm l8 to the deb8 but I wanna speak my mind anyway:

Sometimes, taking away someone's freedom is in their best interests, since they make bad decisions, and their master will make better decisions on their behalf.

Not always tho. Sometimes the master's decisions end up hurting the slave for the master's benefit, and that's wrong.

But a master-slave relationship in which the slave benefits from the master's guidance, and the master benefits from the slave's work? That's some good stuff right there.

Plus if the collar's not permanent you can just pop it off once you've managed to herd whichever lemming it is past the bad decision hazard.

The human consciousness (and its ability to make decisions) is overrated. Still very useful and important, but not AS important as everyone seems to think.
>>
>>1484796
Begone Lucikron! Temptation is Evil's bread and butter and you are tonight's Evil waiter. Anon does not need an evil tool when he'll succeed under his own merit!
>>
>>1484796
This is sorta going against the whole "giving fate the middle finger" schtick we got going on.

Binding someone to our will by using the literal devil? C'mon man. Things in quests don't usually get so black and white.
>>
>>1484796
I don't see how it would be beneficial for the slave to have physical and psychological scarring from a torture device from hell that causes you to feel unimaginable pain every time you try to disobey someone strapped around their neck.
>>
>>1484993
Think about it this way; You are on 4chan, you must know for a fact that there are some people out there that need a good smack to stop behaving like idiots. It's kinda like that.
>>
>>1485025
So we give them an actual smack, no need for ultimate evil collar of assholes.
>>
>>1485033
Some people need more than a smack and this has the benefit of not physically crippling a person.
>>
>>1485037
>Literally trying to make slave collars from hell look like a moral option.
Come on, man.
>>
>>1485140
No I'm serious. Do you think the amount of normal corrective measure e have the time to dish out could make some super edgy sociopathic headcase not be a little shit who would turn on us at the drop of a hat?

We could just kill them, but that would be a waste of potential resources!

Imagine if we got this on Toffee, or that bitch who runs the princess school. It would achieve a lot for the time and energy invested, time and energy we could invest in other endeavors to get stronger.

Before anyone says anything about winning them over or dominating them on our own all I have to says is that not everyone can be won over and we don't necessarily have the time and resources to spend dominating them.

Something successful people know for a fact is that you have to work smart, not hard. If there is an easy way to do something, and you don't need to do it the hard way to make a point or learn something relevant, you do it.
>>
>>1485183
This has got to be an Alt-Tom trying to make Anon fall into a trap.
>>
>>1485183
Idk what's going on but he makes a convincing argument
>>
>>1485183
>>1485192
First there's AltStars, now there's AltToms! When will the madness end?!
>>
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>>1485183
Spoken like a true super edgy sociopathic headcase.
>>
>>1485183
All it would take is for someone else to remove those collars and we're stuck with those assholes again, only they'll be a thousand times more pissed off at us.

Or worse yet, someone else could remove those collars but they'll still pretend to be under our control. Then they'll backstab us at the worst moment.

Just kill them and raise them. We have necromancy.
>>
>>1485219
Which leaves them with free will. Luna mentioned killing someone and raising them wouldn't work.
For the record, I think killing our foes for EXP and Loot are the way to go, rather then binding them to our will. Hey though, that's just me, you guys decide what you want.
>>
>>1485209
>AltStars are Anon's Angel on his shoulder.
>AltToms are his devils.
>Together we can ignore them both or push them off their seat and laugh when they land on their butts.
>>
>>1485219
Man, killing and raising them would go even worse. All they'd do is panic because we were the ones who killed them. It's just bad news all around.

But still, worried about the collars being taken off? Then just command the slave to make sure no one takes it off but us or something.

>>1485229
I would think we'd still get EXP from managing to actually get it on them. We still defeated them.
>>
>>1485244
OK, you right, but maybe we kill them and use them for parts? I mean, we could upgrade Muscles with some dragon or demon bits or something. Or fleshcraft ourselves/use blood for blood on their body to gain their strength.
>>
>>1485248
Well, it's not like we got infinite of these collars? We'd only get like one or two. So we'd still be mostly killin' things.
>>
>>1485244
>Then just command the slave to make sure no one takes it off but us or something.

It can also get damaged in a fight. Or someone could remove it while they're sleeping or otherwise distracted. The point is, the consequences of them being freed from our control would be extremely dire. Hell, these collars seem pretty common since anyone can get them from Quest Buy, so everyone aware probably has some sort of countermeasure against them.

Fortunately, we technically have one as well. Muscles shares the same body as us, but not the same mind. If a collar ever gets slapped on us, Muscles can remove it.
>>
>>1485268
I dunno man, I still think the collar has more benefits than negatives.

Like I only plan on using this thing on enemies that we may or may not fight. And even then, not for long. Like, not even a week long. Slave collar them, get them to do thing we want, then kill them off.
>>
>>1485298
And I think that anyone worth collaring is going to have some sort of countermeasure in place. Hell, even we have one. These collars aren't rare.

I can understand using collars against the Swamp Drake, it's basically an animal and this is an extreme method of domestication.

Attempting to use a collar against someone powerful and intelligent sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
>>
>>1485350
I do believe it was said it could only effect medium or smaller sized creatures. Depending on whose medium in the multiverse I don't think it will effect the Drake. Alternative, we could beat it down and then try to tame it the old fashioned way if we actually want to tame the thing.
>>
>>1485366
Oh, we can use it on the drake, but we'd need two for it to fit. Quest said so.
>>
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>On top of a purple tentacle
>Hugging Cheek to Cheek
>With Marco Diaz

We cannot let this stand.

We shall smack down this insolent welp!

LOAD EM' BOYS
>>
>>1485711
eeeeh, we should congratulate marco for having his first real interaction with jackie for the first time in his life. that is a better burn than anything.
>>
Congrats on finally growing a pair marco!
>>
>>1486027
This. Best case scenario, he REEEEEEs and attacks, losing Jackiepoints while in the worst case we gain them by being mature about it.
>>
ANNOUNCEMENT POST

The Quest needs to be rescheduled.
From tomorrow...to TODAY!


Spread the word, friends

We start in 4 hours at 7:30pm U.S. Central time
>>
>>1486612
Quest you madman.
>>
>>1486072
Although this have higher probability due to evil tentacle influence, are we still mad with Marco?

We can go passive aggressive or forgive his treachery by greeting and congratulating him like stranger.
>>
>>1486808
I demand that when we officially greet Marco, we have to hide in a high-ground position and greet him like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AoN6mr3cQ8
>>
>>1486808
We're mad at Marco, but we know he did nothing wrong yet.
However, he won't take best waifu from us so easily.
>>
>>1486818
No
>>
>>1486612
Ya crazy man.

Did you see any of the fortune telling done in the Discord right after last session? Crazy shit got confirmed.
>>
>>1486612
WE JUST GO FASTER

>>1486841
It seems fairly likely he got the arm on purpose, but life around star is weird... So who knows?
Our reaction is based on his actions. And if he gloats at us, then we pity him. We made the best of a bad situation in our case.
If not, the best man wins, eh?
>>
Wait, Jackie was the one who uploaded the photo, not Marco.

What if she did it because she was jealous of that photo uploaded by Hekapoo?
>>
>>1487174
That could be true! I never even thought of that.
>>
>>1487174
it still changes nothing. we congratulate marco for growing a pair and thats it.
>>
Guys we should kill muscles.
>>
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>>1486612
N-NANI SORE
>>
>>1487341
>Nani sore

dude, do you know your sentence lacked RESOLVE
>>
>>1487358
Hell yes, another anaru fan.
>>
>>1487340
>wanting to kill our defense against mind control collars
>>
>>1487462
muscles is part of us. surely it will fall with us if a collar gets attached to us.
>>
>>1487480
Muscles shares the same body as us, not the same mind. We don't have full control over Muscles ourselves.

Actually that raises a good question. How would mind control collars work against something that has multiple heads like a Hydra?
>>
>>1487480
Yes and no. Muscles is a self aware construct. Technically, he would be akin to a high functioning Homunculus, and thus while subservient to our will also has some independent thought and will of his own. The wielder of the collar would have to know that Muscles is capable of acting on his own and order us to suppress him, which may not be possible with the collar suppressing our own will.
>>1487516
That depends on how you interpret a hydra. hydra may either have on will among many heads, or many wills among its heads. If its one will, then it should work, but if it is many wills it will only gain control over one head.
>>
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>>1484367
here
>>
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>>1487642
Beautiful.
>>
>>1486818
This needs to be done!
>>
>>1487642
You should join the discord, they'll suck your dick dry! These pictures are pretty good.

https://discord.gg/tHAaYhr
>>
SESSION START

>>1487831

In an all new thread

>>1487642
>>1487642

Thank you, friend!




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