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You have always dreamed of crushing all the swine of this world beneath your superior being and condemning their progeny to your service. You devoted your childhood to concocting a most ingenious plan to claim this world for your own, you invested your adolescence into training your body in order to coalesce it and are now ready to begin your Villainous Quest.
It has only been a few days yet your have failed to fail your own expectations and only continue to advance steadfast towards your destiny. You have sacrificed and suffered but the ultimate goal requires the ultimate price.
But that was long ago, mabe a day or two ago to be exact. Currently things are rather fine. You and your recently accompanied gang are winding down in a quaint cafe. Your party's "leader" Rita is attempting to drown her woes in alcohol and Daryll another party member followed suit. Things currently are rather uneventful. This must be remedied immediately.
>>
Dude. You forgot to link to the last thread again.

Also see if that old dude is still there.
>>
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>>1440612
I was going to but some error happened due to my terrible internet.

>>1376174 Villain Quest
>>1411449 Villain Quest 2
supplemental Tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sahcrowsevillair
>>
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With no idea how to follow up this transaction you and your gang continue consumption in tense awkward silence.
After a few minutes of silence you hear a man's raspy hushed voice. "Ey... kid, y'look like y'need legal edvice."
Both of your compatriots are inebriated to the point of delirium. You don't even know how they're gonna get home, at least you know you can converse with a suspicious stranger without their knowing.
>>
>>1440642
also that link leads to a login page. You're suppose to link like this

https://sahcrowsevillair.tumblr.com/
>>
>>1440654
sorry man I suddenly have a lot on my plate. I'm a real screw up.
>>
>>1440724
Nah bro it's fine. Just letting you know for next time.

And since no one wants to throw their hat in for what to do I say we strike up a conversation with the legal man

>Perceptive are you? Well you're right. I have a close friend that was jailed for "public indecency". I hear as long as there's a lawyer they can get out no problem. Know anyone wanting to make a swift shekel?
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>1440598
>VillanQuest
>Villan

>>1440653
>>1440751
Rolling to see his honesty?
>>
>>1440762
Good idea. Lawyers go to school to shift perspectives.
>>
>>1440762
>>1440598
Yes. VillainQuest is missing an i so it's "VillanQuest" instead.
>>
Also posting this here so everyone sees.
I archived the second thread, but I guess we're sticking with the VillanQuest misspelling. Makes it somewhat unique doesn't it?

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=VillanQuest
>>
>>1440751
>>1440762
This together.
>>
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>>1440762
You can tell quite easily that this man's very core is deeply stewed in a rich creamy broth of deceit and various forms of skullduggery. He is a man after your own heart, you find his VILLAINous gaze is absolutely reassuring.
You explain your situation to him, telling him about your subject's current situation.
"Mmey. An eesy case. Any lawyer worth his salt could take care of your gal, with little issue. Howeva kid, I am more than a just a competent lawyer if y'catch my pitch." He smirks maliciously.

I fucked up the title of my own quest. Goddammit. I have a good excuse, I'm not incompetent, I just keep encountering issues with my router, whenever it seems my connection is working I have to rush shit before I lose it. This is so embarrassing.
>>
>>1440968
>What'chu talkin' 'bout?
>>
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>>1441040
You can see that he's trying to clue you into some scheme of his conniving. Wishing for him to cease his roundabout explanations, in an aggressive show of confusion you demand clarification.
>>
>>1440968
Fucking relax dude. This shit is fun as it is. Stop feeling embarrassed. At least it makes the quest unique on top of you doing all this cool art for it.
Router problems happen to everyone.
>>
>>1441149
plus it does make the quest easier to search for
>>
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>>1441040
>>1441140
The lawyer explains himself quite bluntly, being a principled man he has little to hide.
"Now look here kid, wat we got here is a case of 'police brutality', now let me explain what that is. See I've been doing some reading of my old law books, y'know just as recreation... and what do I happen upon but old timey legislation implicitly stating that police beating the shit out of people is a crime. get it?
Now let's say you and I go to court to get your friend but instead of just making bailing her out, we make a big show of her treatment. We get some heads screaming... and then we show 'em our ace in the hole; that legislation I tole y'about. Now if we play our cards right, we may get not just a big pay out but we could get some game changing legal stuff to happen, something that shakes up the whole of LAW to it's core. What 'ave y'got ta lose kid, but a chance to better humanity?"

This guy's obviously full of shit. Particularly sleazy Lawyers are known to stage high profile losing cases to promote their own careers and get cushy jobs as magistrates. He'll probably sell you out as soon as he can.
However if we pretend to go along with it until we know we have the upper hand we could pull the wall over his eyes and come out on top. The mayhem the case would case alone would certainly be advantages. either way you're going to need a lawyer.
>What do you do?
>>
>>1441434
See if our Intoxicated allies are reacting to us talking to this guy. Don't want them thinking we're taking the wheel again.
>>
>>1441434
Yeeeeaa...
Thanks but no thanks, this could only end badly, I just have too much going on.
>>
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>>1441461
Your intoxicated allies are rendered incompetent. Daryll has essentially passed out on the table while Rita looks just about ready to do the same.
Regardless their input wouldn't really matter seeing as how you out class them in intelligence and the Bunny Girl is your subject.

Wait a moment, How are your compatriots suppose to get home? It's way too early to stumble drunkenly on through the streets. It's only 2pm! What an embarrassment these two characters slovenly jaunts through the slums would be.
>>
>>1443260
tell him we'll think about it and get those two slugabeds home
>>
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>>1443285
You tell the lawyer that you need to take you partners to their homes and that you'll think about his proposition.
The lawyer sardonically responds with,"Look here kid, I'm a busy man. There are a lot of potential clients out there, and I gotta tell I won't be available forever. I need to know if you're on board for this now"
>>
>>1443422
So guys should we do it? Or should we try to coax him to wait at the very least until we get the team home?
>>
>>1443422
Show me the legislation and you have yourself a deal
>>
>>1443422
Contact info first. Then we'll talk.
>>
>>1443422
*boi*
>>
>>1443422
>Of all the possible people that you can approach, there will be very few that can defend themselves as well as we can, so give me a night and I will get back with you.
>>
>>1443551
Because you know they will try to intimidate us, and at least with me, you have a better chance of your client surviving.
>>
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>>1443459
He excitedly reaches into the inside of his jacket and pulls out a piece of paper, "I was hoping you'd ask that. Honestly I'm disappointed that it took you this long to ask me. Read it and weep kid!"
>>
>>1443567
Read it and then this.
>>1443551
>>1443556
>>
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>>1443567
"See, legitimate legal documentation."
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>1443577
>Tell him this is bullshit and ask why he's trying to swindle us
>>
>>1443599
fug
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>1443599
Guess our heart isn't in it.
>>
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>>1443599
You've never lost so much respect for anyone in a single moment. This is the shittiest photo edit you've ever seen.
You tell this philistine quite bluntly that this thing is bullshit, and that you won't condone some ignoramus trying to make a fool of you.
He's appalled.He angrily absconds the cafe.
Now that you think of it, you never even saw evidence that he was even a real lawyer.
>Now what do you do?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>1443660
You are a villain. Kill that fucker!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1443660
get your crew home

>>1443678
Don't do this
>>
>>1443687
Agreeing with both things this guy is saying

There's being a villain, and then there's being a fucking idiot.
>>
>>1443719
>>1443660
I guess I should've also quoted you so you know I was making a vote.
>>
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>>1443687
>>1443719
Fighting your baser urges of violence you make the responsible decision of guiding your compatriots to their abode. Daryll is out completely so you carry him over your shoulder. Rita while able to walk does so in a flighty and slow manner. For some reason Rita's face is fixed on this one odd expression you can't parse it's meaning, all you know is that it makes you deeply uncomfortable.
You realize you don't know where these luggs live so you ask you conscious associate,
"Ah dunno. Jus leavus at like a hotel. Where's th' nearest hotel? I dunno, just leav us in a dumpster we're all trash."
The nearest hotel is on the east side of town. You'd have to take the tram all the way there, then walk even more...Putting up with this shit for the approximate three hours this trip will take is going to be an incredible tax on on your mediocre ENDURANCE
Your Stats
Str:2
Endurance:6
Agility:6
Perception:9
Intelligence:10
Charisma:8
>>
>>1443932
Is our place closer?
That's an option.
>>
>>1443932
Well having 2 less teammates is worse than less endurance. not like we really needed to use it much.

I say we commit to making sure they're safe

Time for the adventures of Juiced Bro and Hella Drunk Reet's
>>
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>>1443932
Roll for endurance
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>1443978
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>1443978
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>1443978
>>
>>1444009
noice
>>
who drew on that broads face?
>>
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>>1444009
You triumphantly burst into the door of a newly booked hotel room with Darryl on you back and make a hearty gratuitous initial stomp into the shag carpet to assert your dominance. This room is now your bitch.
The trip was tiring but once you grit your teeth and stopped whining it was accomplished rather easily. Rita follows behind you as you throw Daryll on the bed and then fall to floor in relief.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1444091
Check out the complimentary room items. Anything we don't have to spend shekels on should be noted. Also roll to tuck in the two angels.
>>
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>>1444087
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>1444107
this

rolling for telling them a bedtime story and goodnight kissies
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>1444109
>>1444114
Second
>>
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>>1444107
Rita collapses onto the couch and curls into a fetal position slipping into a fast sleep.
You reorient Daryll into a more comfortable position, a standard sleeping position instead of leaving him awkwardly lying on the bed in a lazily thrown position. You collect the blankets from the bed and cover your sleepy little depressive drunkards. You also take Rita's glasses so that she sleeps more comfortably.
You look on them lovingly, to think that these little sleepy heads will soon be groveling at your feet. You'll make sure to give them cushy new jobs once you've established your regime.

nighty night drunken boyyos
>>
>>1444205
recall the complimentary food items as well as the rent. we need to make sure we're good on shekels
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>1444205

Gently stroke Daryll's perfectly chiseled face, being careful not to wake him
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>1444641
supporting
>>
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>>1444641
>>1447022
Seeing Daryll so soundly sleeping you you realize just how handsome he is.
Your hand gently begins to caress his chiseled visage. Yo feel that it is a violation to so sensually feel a person without their consent... but that's what makes it feel so right.

You realize that you don't even need to be careful with Daryll. You dragged him all the way here and he never made a peep.
This realization ruins the moment slightly... or does it?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>1449314
Taste him
>>
>>1449323
To see if he's a liar
>>
>>1449314
Get out get the fuck out of there already, you got evil villainous shit to do.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>1449314
Leave them here to go out, making sure to leave a note somewhere visible first, and check to make sure the room is secure enough. We'll be back later.
They need the sleep, and we need the villainy.
>>
>>1449314
Time for me to actually be serious.

Shouldn't we try to search for Bunny Girl?
>>
>>1449340
She's in jail.

Our problem isn't finding where she is, it's getting her out of there.
>>
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>>1449323
>>1449327
>>1449329
Daryll, being a rather suspect character could turn traitor. You give your partner a deep sensual lick across his face, to see if he tastes like a liar. However you don't know how to descern the taste of a liar from an honest man.
This was a pointless and self indulgent exercise. Frustrated you resolve to leave the Hotel and return to doing your usual villainous shit. The world's not going to conquer itself.
>What villainous shit do you do?
>>
>>1449438
Time for rampant VILLAINY!

Loiter in areas with a no loitering sign!
Take forever to decide on your order and hold up the lines!
Sneak snacks inside the movie theater!
Whoopie cushions everywhere!


In all honesty I don't know, maybe figure out how much bunny girl's bail is. We're loaded in shekels, aren't we?
>>
>>1449510
All this. see if you can visit bunny girl while we're at it.
>>
>>1449438
Let's do Rita a favor and try to see how we can fuck up Songstress without anyone knowing? We know pretty much nothing about them and how they operate.
>>
>>1449438
Go buy some shit and try not to bring the law down by robbing the store again.
>>
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>>1449599
>>1449510
In order to get the villainous juices flowing you go down to a local store and indulge in some soft-core villainy.
The Store clerk greets however you simply prop yourself against the window of the store and begin loitering.
You begin pondering your Bunny Girl's situation.
There's seldom a set bail for anyone. Usually bail is determined via some algorith that factoring in many attributes of potential crime, for instance the perp's economic background, race, the condition of their organs. The idea to weigh bail according to the likelihood of the perp being connected to wealthy whom the LAW tries to squeeze dry. Without legal consultation you can only speculate. But it's rare to see bail below the 500,000 shekels mark.
The staff of the local penitentiary always do full inspection of all the visitors. Going there yourself would be a death sentence. You'd need someone to go on your behalf. Preferably a lawyer.
>>
>>1449699
loitering is indeed villainous. But we need to be evil. we should ask for an out of stock item and demand our victim to look in the back!
>>
>>1449699
The "lawyer" back at the cafe was a piece of shit, and we could see right through him easily. Surely there's gotta be a lawyer out there who's an expert in cases like this shit right?
I guess for now try to do some store shenanigans like >>1449736 said. Maybe later we can also try to look up lawyers for our job?
>>
>>1449736
I like the way you think, anon.
>>
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>>1449736
You walk up to the clerk. A rather mousy young girl who asks in a rather shrill voice,"S-sir... Umm Puh-please no loitering in the store..."
Once you get to the counter you ask her for a certain brand of Punpkin Pie which you know isn't in season yet. "Uhh. I don't think we sell Pumpkin Pie here at the moment. I honestly do doubt we'll have any in stock for a while."
You demand that she check the back to see if there's any in stock, the store must have some in stock!
"Uh-uh. PLEASE sir! I-I feel very certain of the fact that I know my store's stock. I am 83.4 percent sure that we don't have--"
You demand more aggressively that she check the back.
"O-okay! Sir... If you really want me to check the back. I'll check. Though like I said there's only a 16 fercen--shoot!-- PERCENT chance that there's pie back there."
She leaves to check the back.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>1449836
You asking to roll for pie?

'cuz I'll roll for pie
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>1449836
Aww that's adorable. Too bad we're already spoken for. At least we can tease her when she gets back, right OP?
>"You don't have any pie? Doesn't matter too much, you're already enough of a qt 3.14."
>inb4 this fails horribly
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>1449836
Seduce the mouse
>>
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>>1449912
>>1449846
Left alone at the counter you notice that no one is in the store. On top of being a detriment to your villainy, since your rude behavior is not inconveniencing anyone aside from the person is paid to be inconvenienced, but also means that the shekels in the cash register are ripe for the snatching. However it would be a shame to abuse the trust of such a delightful girl. Maybe it's best to get acquainted. You hear a call from the back "IS SWEET POTATO PIE CLOSE ENOUGH FOR YOU?"
>Is it?

It's late, I'm gonna call it a night. Sorry.
>>
No problem OP. Goodnight.
>>
>>1450024
CONSUME PIE
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>1450024
Go in the back where she is, maybe she could use some help finding the right pie. That's the excuse at least, to get to know her better.

>>1449912
>>
>>1451293
Bunny Girl shouldn't have a problem with a polyamorous relationship
>>
>>1451464
At least you hope she doesn't. She'll hate us if she finds out. Which means she won't.
:^)
>>
>>1451464
That's going a bit far, we're just getting to know the clerk girl better.

And if something does come of it, well it could take some time to rescue bunny girl, so something in the meantime, till you free bunny girl and go back to her, isn't so bad.
>>
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>>1451293
Deciding to meet the clerk instead of rob her, you head to the stock room.
The clerk looks up from behind the boxes she was examining,"O-oh, Hi... Um you're not suppose to be here..."
You tell her that you're here to help her find Pumpkin pie.
"Well I guess... I mean...i appreciate the help... but m-my boss might find out...Hmm..."
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1454831
Help search the boxes while casually asking what her life story is.

Also, rolling for an insight check.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>1454847
helping this dude

also

>that butt

unf
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>1454831
Nice ass. But for now yeah we should do >>1454847
>>
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>>1454847
>>1454998
>>1455104
You help the clerk girl search for the brand of pie despite knowing that this store does not have it.
You begin talking to her as she searches through boxes. She seems rather shy.
But not unreceptive to conversation.
"I don't know... I can't find it anywhere. I don't think Pumpkin pie is even in season..." You ask her about herself. "Oh... I'd rather not talk about myself... We should look for the pie..." She continues looking for your pumpkin pie. It's almost sisyphean. She's too shy and too focused to talk to right now.
>>
>>1455381
Help her look for something else good? Maybe by the time we find something to eat, someone will break into the store (completely unattended right now) and we'll get some action. If not, then we can always just pay her extra for wasting her time - we have the shekels for it.

We really don't seem like a villain right now huh? Helping random qt store clerks find things in the backroom? Its still early in the quest though, so once we get some action things will pick up more.
>>
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>>1455444
Deciding to give the clerk a break you tell her that the sweet potato Pie is good enough. You offer to pay her double for the pie as compensation for her effort. "Umm... If you really want to pay me back... Can I have some pie... with you."
>Do you oblige her request?
>>
>>1455604
Yes, share the pie.
>>
>>1451585
There's nothing wrong with polygamy.
>>
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Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>1455604
>So why is a sweet thing like you doing all alone in a store like this?

also scan for stats
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>1455604
Answer yes, but also check her stats with Inquisition.
>>
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>>1455691
>>1455611
The delicious pie has made her open up more. She tells you little about herself: Her name is Desdemona. She's goes to the local college part time in the mathematics course. She only works here to pay for schooling. She keeps telling you about advanced mathematics concepts and seems delighted just to have a chance to not work.
This conversation has given you the chance to
quantify her attributes.
Desdemona's Stats:
Str:1
Endurance:5
Agility:4
Perception:6
Intelligence:10
Charisma:6
>>
>>1455809
What a nerd.
Ask her what her dreams for the future are.

Maybe her huge intelligence could be useful at some point for our goals of world dominaton.
>>
>>1455817
Don't we have a high int score too, try to relate to her with our int .
>>
>>1455823
Oh yeah, I forgot we did.

Talk smart with her! Use big words!
>>
>>1455828
The biggest words.
>>1455809
Dang, she a cutie.
>>
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>>1455817
>>1455823
Hoping to resonate with the Clerk you employ the most sesquipedalian terms within your expansive lexicon in inquiring about her ambitions.
"Gee, such a vocabulary, you remind me of my friend, she's an english major... But about my goals... I. I don't know... I just wanted to get out of my dad's house. But I'm not really worried about a job, being a stem major means I'm basically set for job security."
>>
>>1455989
>Ruffle her hair,
>"Wow, that's pretty impressive."
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>1455989
whoops , im late , got to go.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>1455989
Rolling to get her number
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>1455989
Get her number, finish up the pie, then go back to the hotel to check on our two drunks.
>>
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>>1456496
After you two finish eating the pie you ask for her number. She reflexively hides her face away from you as her glasses fog up.
"Oh... Uh... Oh god... I... s-so long... as... its platonic..." She writes her number on a napkin on the counter and hands it to you while looking away. You two bid farewell as you leave the store.
>>
>>1456818
Explore the city. Look for random encounters.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>1456818
Call her up, say "Not quite sure it'll be platonic since you're awfully cute."
Then head back.
>>
>>1456839
Changing my vote to
>>1456848
>>
>>1456818
Your artstyle is really good for something like this, dude.
Also yeah voting for >>1456848
>>
>>1456848
Voting this also.
>>
>>1456848
After this head to Hoes and Hoagies. I want to see how those dudes that helped us with this gig are doing.
>>
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>>1457118
>>1456848
While on your way to Hoes and Hoagies to touch base with some acquaintances you resolve to call Desdemona and make a secual advance. However you realize that you do not now nor have you ever owned a phone. You used to just use your computer to call people but that was destroyed along with the rest of your apartment.
You sit on the tram awed by your oversight of this obvious fact about yourself that you've always known.
You'll need to find either an net cafe or pay phone.
>>
>>1457244
Curses! Foiled again!
>>
>>1457244
Lets hit up our underworld contacts and get us a cell phone.
>>
>>1457244
A stolen phone wouldn't be too much to ask from our spade bros would it?
>>
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>>1457352
You look across the tram to see some asshole on an expensive phone. He appears to be in the middle of an important conversation. You overhear words like "promotion" and "merger". Whatever this asshat's talking about it seems to be a turning point in his career, his entire livelihood and future could very well hang on this one phonecall.
>Roll to beat him up and steal his phone.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>1457511
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>1457511
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>1457511
Their loss is our gain.
>>
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>>1457518
You bash his face with you bat and he collapses onto the chairs of the tram. You take his cell phone before you hand up he call to you telling you how important this call is... He says something about needing the promotion to afford surgery for his son...Quite a quandary he needs the phone to save his son... but you need it to hit on a cute nerd girl. You think the answer is obvious.
>Do the obvious thing
>>
>>1457635
The heart strings.
Give it back, but take his wallet.
Go steal someone else's phone.
>>
>>1457635
promise to let him finish the call if he does a favor for the Spades.
>>
>>1457635
Let him finish the call, and then have him do something for the Spades.

Maybe we can give him a little of our MANY shekels later, so he can afford to fix that face of his?
>>
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>>1457658
Rather than making the obvious decision and splattering his brain across the tram with a well placed bat smack, you take the smarter choice of trade off.
You let him finish his conversation. It seems that his law firm is undergoing a merger and some fat is being cut. This left an opening in the firm for him that came with a pay raise.
He's so happy that he cries.
He finishes his conversation... You assume it went well by his joyous tears. He is now in your debt.
>>
>>1457732
Now take the phone, leave it's memory card.
It might have pictures and stuff he wants to keep.
>>
>>1457732
Do what >>1457761 said.
>>
>>1457732
>>1457761
Also tell him when the Spades want to cash in their favor, he'll know.

Now finish the flirt.
>>
>>1457732
Wait wait wiat.

He's rich, no?

LEt's use this. When our little motely crew gets a little bit bigger let's offer him some "Protection" and by that we give him some thugs to do whatever.

For now, he'll fund our operation and invest in some stocks and bonds according to our choosing. There are some things money can't buy, but money helps an awful lot.
>>
>>1457973
>>1457732

Also, roll.

And ask him to borrow the phone if we can.
>>
>>1457981
>>1457820
Once he's done with his call you take his phone. You call desdemona and use tell her "Not quite sure it'll be platonic since you're awfully cute." You've been holding onto that one for a while now.
Some girl who isn't Desdemona picks up. She sounds vaguely familiar.
"Hahahaha! Hoo boy... You sound familiar, doesn't matter, look let me tell you boyyo, you're barking up the wrong tree." She then wispers intot he phone "She's my tree to bark up... does that innuendo even work? Whatever."
>Wow you nearly ruined a man's life for this, what now.
>>
>>1458105
Well fuck. Give the guy the phone back and give him some shekels to fix his face. Then I guess we're done here so keep going to Hoes and Hoagies?
>>
>>1458105
Pfft, like she can even compete with villain appeal. She might win this game of phone tag, but we know where Des works.

Maybe pay a call later.
>>
>>1458105
>She sounds vaguely familiar
who
WHO
>>
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>>1458105
forgot the picture
>>
>>1458186
>Hang up, fuck that bitch. You can just drop by the place some other time.
>Turn to the man, "Here's your phone back. If you can just block the number I just called."
>In a more serious voice, "So I hear you're a business man. You owe me one, and I have a simple offer for you. You in? Could be pretty profitable."
>>
>>1458186
Wait, guys, don't you get it?
He's a LAWYER

Wasn't it a lawyer that we needed in order to do that whole thing with bunny girl and getting her outta jail?

We gotta get this guy on our side, treat him better or else he might fuck us over out of spite somewhere down the line
>>
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>>1458211
>>1458251
The man corrects your assumption.
He says he's actually a lawyer, he knows quite a few businessmen and works with them since he specializes in corporate law but he himself is not a business man.
>>
>>1458275
Get all buddy buddy with him, apologize for what we did, say he caught us at a bad time or something.

Be nice, get him to like us. Fix up his shirt, tell him that this was a lesson that he needed to learn at some point, and he's lucky that he got to learn it with someone as nice as us.
See, there's a lot of unsavory, cruel and heartless villains out there. Luckily for him, he ran into us instead. We may be villanous, but we aren't senseless . He won't always be this lucky though. he's bound to run into other, less reasonable thugs who would bash his head in without a second thought and leave his son to live the rest of his short life without a father.
It doesn't have to be this way though, not now since he's met us. This is a lucky day! With us backing him, he can feel a little safer while roaming the streets. But of course, something as valuable as safety and peace of mind comes with a price, and we can work to have a very mutually benefiting relationship
>>
>>1458275
>"Point is, you got those business connections."
>"Besides, you don't need to be for what I have in store."
>"The plan is, I give you the money, you invest in your name, and give me 75% of the dividends and profits if you sell any stocks or bonds."
>"Those business connections will help you pick which ones to buy and sell."
>>
>>1458329
>And let's have him come along with use and get him cleaned up while we're at it.
>>
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>>1458323
The Lawyer is insulted that you'd think he's fall pray to such heavy handed flattery. Stating that your uncalled for assault on his head did not give him amnesia. He will fulfill one favor in return for never seeing you again.
>>1458329
That would be insider trading. A dangerous endeavor. He says that trading stocks connected to his clientele would be breach of not just the law but his ethics as a lawyer.
Net's too damn laggy and I'm too damn tired goodnight.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>1458421
Get our girlfriend out of jail then, let him know about that other sleazy lawyer and his law, he'll know if its legit or a game changer he can use.

Not sure what to do about the lesbian.
on one hand shes got glasses and thus, ugly as fuck. On the other hand, we get to homewreck a lesbian relationship.
>>
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>>1459126
You tell the lawyer about your incarcerated subject.
He smirks a confident smirk. He says that this case would be comically easy for an expert like himself. He could get the job done in a day. He can probably get her out with a pay out from the Law, just to make it interesting for himself, but only if he get's his usual pay of 50 percent.
>>
>>1459655
of coarse, do it.

we weren't expecting any money at all so 50% is sweet.
>>
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>>1459666
It's agreed then The lawyer will go to the jail post haste and you'll have your bunny girl and your settlement by the end of the day.
>What now?
>>
>>1460064
Go to the park and feed the ducks
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>1460238
Steal some bread, go to the park and recruit the ducks into the gang.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>1460640
Use overwhelming charisma to turn ducks into foie gras, sell at the blackmarket.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>1460640
helping out this man.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>1460640
Rolling for this.
>>
>>1460640
>>1460858
>>1460908
>>1460951
We're gonna get bread jacked by some ducks.
>>
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>>1460951
>>1460908
>>1460858
>>1460640
>>1460238
You get the sudden and fantastic idea to steal some bread and use it to procure an army of ducks.
After some time you illegally acquire bread and find a single duck. You can't find anymore ducks so you try to feed it. It doesn't seem to take to your offering of bread.
Guess you killed that random store clerk for nothing.
>>
>>1461204
Head to Hoes and Hoagies?
>>
>>1461314
Seconding.
>>
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>>1461314
After what feels like days of dumbassery but in reality was only a few hours you finally go to Hoes an hoagies. You saunter in confidently and plot yourself at a chair. From across the room you can see your dark skinned acquaintances. You'd rather them come to you then demean yourself to the level walking over to them after having just gotten comfortable.
>>
>>1471125
Take nap in comfortable chair
>>
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>>1471141
Despite the copious amount of work you know you must do, you cannot help but get too comfortable. The chair is so soft and inviting, the brothel's tasty smell and sinful atmosphere is so soothing. You realize that you haven't slept in days. Only now does the lack of sleep finally hit. It hit's you like a ton of bricks and knocks you out. You fall into a comfortable sleep. Hopefully nothing terrible happens while you sleep.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>1471187
roll luck for safety
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>1471187
Rolling as well.
>>
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>>1471230
It appears luck was not on your side for once.
When you wake up you're initially not sure you're even awake because of how dark your surroundings are. However once it dawns on you that you are awake you recoil in horror at your situation, but your reflexive disgust is impeded by the plastic sheets that now constrains your limbs. You realize that you were stripped of all your belongings, including your clothes, wrapped in plastic sheet and then trapped in some dark room.
It dawns on you that sleeping in the middle of a political hotspot wasn't the smartest move.
>What now jackass
>>
>>1471380
spit. get an idea of what direction is up. I have a feeling we're buried
>>
>>1471380
Stand up and hop around the room trying to find a light switch
>>
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>>1471427
>>1471429
You propel a ball of your own saliva into the surrounding void testing a hunch. The spit falls to your face. So you're horizontal to gravity.
You to move but you find your movements thoroughly restricted by both the plastic constraint and the vertical force of gravity exerting itself downward.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>1471529
Burst forth from the saran wrap.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>1471529
Bite the plastic and poke holes in it with your fingers.

>>1471380
It was a brilliant idea, we've replenished on sleep and now have some trick ass mark to beat down and loot
>>
>>1471542
This is better.
>>
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>>1471542
You tear the plastic constraints with your bare teeth. You try to poke through the plastic as well but your fingers are not strong enough.
Your arms are now free and you can use them free your legs. You still don'e know where you are.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>1471977
As you try to free your legs wiggle around to see your current surroundings. Specifically, if you're confined or on a table of sorts.

roll is for leg free-ing
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1472450
gnaw our way out of the table as well
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>1471977
free your legs and explore the room, gotta find an out and a spot for ambushing a fucker.
>>
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>>1472450
>>1473420
You free your legs and stand up. It seems that you are in a pitch black room.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>1474097
Wander around. Search for clothes, tools, or an exit
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>1474097
Search for weapons and a way out
>>
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>>1474142
You aimlessly wander through the veil of darkness and stumble upon something. You feel it it's soft yet pliable, has a flesh like texture, but there's subtle movements coming from it.
>>
>>1474256
get real close to it and whisper

>Hey
>>
>>1474256
Did we find a snake?
Use snake as weapon>>1474180
>>
>>1474256
Have an idea so bright, that it provides some illumination
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>1474323
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>1474323
helping this dude
>>
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>>1474323
You have an idea as to what the thing could be and what to do next. It's such a brilliant idea that it illuminates the room but from an odd angle. You look up and see the light coming from an opened door. A figure it a cleaver stands in the center of the light silhouetted.
The light allows you to see the thing at your feet. It was the maggot infested corpse of your old fellow gangster.
>>
>>1474340
????
Was it the guy in the gimp suit thing?
Use body as shield.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>1474340
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Stand up defiantly at the man in the shadow and check stats.
>>
>>1474349
Oh shit, we gonna be turned into hoagies.
Rather be in a hoe.
>>
>>1474340
Look to the door

"Quick! I need help, his vitals are fading! Come here and help stop the bleeding!"
>>
>>1474363
You do realize humans aren't initially full of maggots, right?
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>1474340
Run into the shadows with the body. Wait til he gets closer and away from the door and then throw the body at him and take his cleaver.
>>
>>1474375
Right but the shadowy stranger might not know this is a dead person.
>>
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>>1474355
You stand proudly and defiantly against this adversary. You get a sense at his attributes.
It's Stats
Str:10
Endurance:10
Agility:8
Perception:10
Intelligence:6
Charisma:0
Something about it seems uncanny. As if it isn't truly human but should be.
It's grumbles loudly into the room,"Fussing will only make it worse. Just let me do my job."
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>1474472
Slink into the darkness and then just try to evade him, like when he comes looking just skirt around the edge of the room. Try to get around him, so that you can flee out the open door.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>1474480
I'll try to roll to support this. Since he has 10 perception though, I don't think it'll work all that well honestly but I can't think of a better plan myself.

Maybe we could try bargaining too? We do have high charisma, maybe we can somehow talk our way out of this.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>1474472
Get him deeper into the room and then pounce, don't be afraid to use our dead buddy somehow.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>1474472
Oh, I got it, rip out our dead buddy's arm to use as a weapon to defend ourselves and fight back with.

Even in death, he's still giving us a hand. What a guy.
>>
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>>1474480
>>1474491
You scurry into the darkness like some kind of miserable insect. It walks to where your had once stood proudly lording over the corpse. Despite your veil of darkness he can still peer right through it and look at you from his position. It's eye pierces your soul as it's mouth rolls out the sentence, "C'mon. I'm not gonna kill you. Not intentionally. See this guy, I wasn't suppose to kill him but he started fussing so he died. If you keep fussing you will die too. It's that simple."
>>
>>1474581
Do you have the confidence that you can make a break for it, and exit the room faster than this guy can catch you?

If not, then cooperation may be necessary.
>>
>>1474591
> What do you want? You in a gang?

Make sure there's a good distance between you and him.
>>
>>1474581
Ask him what he wants
>>
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>>1474602
>>1474591
>>1474615
You emerge from the darkness like a man, and thus resolve to cooperate. You ask if he is in a gang, and what does he want?
"My boss, the Leader of the Butchers, wants your arm. I don't know why, I don't ask. So just hold still while I chop it off."
>>
>>1474729
Will a leg suffice?
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>1474729
A whole arm? We kinda need those.

Tell him,
Okay well, how about you consider the following.............

>Dash for the door
>>
>>1474782
We got High Intelligence, Lets USE IT!!
Inform him that one arm looks like another, and that he should get the other arm from the deceased man.
>>
>>1474794
But uh
Dead guy is black
We're not
>>
>>1474802
You act like that matters to a guy with low Int.
>>1474729 do >>1474794 please?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>1474802
We can trick him, we got higher INT.
Just distract him.
>>
>>1474812
NOOOO
OH WHY DICE???
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO US????
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>1474812
helping
>>
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>>1474794
>>1474782
>>1474812
You distract him using him simple meandering questions about the specifics of your de-armament. Pointless rhetoric about whether he could take a leg or how much arm was he going to take. While doing this you look over at the corpse preparing for a plot to trick It into taking the corpse's arm instead. You look down at the corpse and see that it has already lost an arm. His other arm is in his jacket sleeve.
You're going to need a real maneuver to get past his keen perception.
>Come up with a good maneuver
Sorry boyyos but it's late. Calling it a session. It's fittingly macabre to end on such a morbid picture, i think.
>>
>>1474897
Night.
Entangle him with semantics, then offer him a solution to the problem.
>>
>>1474897
Let's all take a moment to remember this man that helped kick started our world domination. When the world bows to our knees, we shall keep a room dedicated to the people who helped us.




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