Discord: https://discord.gg/fjQ8DCharacter Sheet (Full!):https://drive.google.com/open?id=1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gUCharacter Sheet (Renexizious Only!): https://drive.google.com/open?id=1xgNKMzLUZS9L05DUCxmsvuYs-bGPIRpQsFv5k7oaBBkLast time, we came up to a PORTAL which we accidentally opened while messing around...It could be very, very good...Or you could just say fuck it and toss Other Liz in.You see on the other side a marble hallway, and little else.Actions>Fuck it, toss the Other Liz in.>Head in! What's the worst that could happen?>Send Your Elizabeth in as a forward scout!>...Shapeshift before you go through?>Head back home and maybe get Claw or something to head first through it.>...This is a terrible fucking idea. Don't do it.>Write-In
>>1362778>Fuck it, toss the Other Liz in.
Going to wait for one more vote anons.
>>1362778>...This is a terrible fucking idea. Don't do it.We are going to take some inspiration from Stargate: SG1 for this next bit.That being we are going to make a small robot with a camera on it and some little tracks to move it. Then we drive it through and do some scouting.
Well... I'll roll here in a few minutes unless anons want to decide
Rolled 2 (1d2)Rolling.1=Toss the other Liz in!2=Don't do it!
You decide against taking the terrible idea of tossing the other Liz in...You decide to however, make a small robot with a camera... It could be rather hard though, making it from scratch... Maybe the kobolds has something?Roll me a 1d20+4 to try and make a robot!+2 if you can think what might be used to make a homemade robot?+2 if you can be a bit lustful and loving towards your Elizabeth. (+1 for more compliments to her!)
>>1362870Well, our self-built computer could probably be thrown together with the Renexium battery and a few motors to create a decent engine and control system. Give it some treads formed out of a few bits of interlinking metal or something. Then we just link it to a cable, from which we then control it by setting the treads to move at different speeds.Mount the camera on top, attach it to the PC and have it take photo's every X seconds before relaying the data to a screen on the other end of the control wire so we can see what is happening.Problem solved and fairly easily."So, are you enjoying your new forms? Cause I know I am...perhaps we should schedule some free time later this week? No interruptions and just each other for company..."
Rolled 19 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>1362900Forgot to roll.
>>1362905mn, those numbers.
19+8=27Amazing Success!You do some hard-core engineering, and head back home making treads, getting your computer...Eventually you make a small little bot, which you of course put through the portal...You view the camera...It certainly seems to be a marble floor... No audio however comes through it.Roll me a 1d20+4 to scout.+3 if you can find a way to get comfy with Liz while you use basically an RC car.+1 if you can compliment Elizabeth's miontaur form even more.+2 if Renexizious can be a bit disappointed he cannot have two Elizabeths. (And think why it's probably for the best to not have more than one.)
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>1362924
Do you want to do the bonuses to get a higher success?
>>1362983sit her on our lap so we both have a view of the rc car, throw an arm around her and rest two of our heads on her shoulders."ah, god how I love your fur, always warms me right up. it's either that or those cute horns."it would be nice having another Elizabeth, the threesome would be incredible. . . but she is already very jealous. and I don't know how she would take it if I got them mixed up. I really need to send the other back.
>>1362992ears not horns. bleh. either way, be back in a few.
>When your on public wifi and your blocked for 9 mins because someone's advertising on your wifirip meYou sit on Elizabeth's lap as you drive the car around, and compliment her more...She seems quite flattered, and pats you on the head...The car drives around and eventually you get the lay of the land... It seems to be somesort of building, with blue flags with yellow stars concentrated going around in a circle... Quite strange. It seems a bit in the future.You drive up to a huge assembly room, where... Well, tons of people are sitting at. You carefully sneak by into a better position...They seem to be representatives here... From the United Kingdom, from non-countries such as Belgium... Even Greece, and... Well, pretty much every European country you can think of. One of the "leaders" (you can't exactly tell who IS the leader...) seems to be speaking into a microphone.You could try to listen in... Though the audio might be a bit... Terrible.Actions>...Listen in?>Wrong dimension. Try to reset the dimensional portal?>Oooh... Future dimension. Fancy tech... Fancy weapons... Maybe a brief excursion?>...Throw the Other Liz in here. This might be her dimension.>...Maybe you should see about "binding" the portal, so to speak. Get it's address... Just for a future visit. (This will let you visit this dimension at will when at Gerbil's laboratory!)Write-In
>>1363037Ask Liz 2 if any of this sounds familiar. If not then leave.
"So... Other Elizabeth? Is any of this familiar?""A little. You know, the European Union... I think this is their assembly building.""Oh, great. So you can find your way around?""Well, I think... Anyways... I erh... I love you?"She gives you a bit of a unsure kiss."I'm uh... See you?""Yeah..."Liz Two goes through the portal, and you get that robot out of there... Not too long afterwards... Liz suddenly realizes."I uh... There was one more. A uhm... Werewolf detective. Should we go back for him?""...I'll call it in..."After an hour of waiting, you get the rather highly confused werewolf detective to go in..."...Hey, Ren?" Liz says to you, as you leave..."Yeah?""...Why don't we go out for dinner? To celebrate defeating Gerbils... Some more family members... Also to relax a bit from having SOME relatives doing stupid things in the pacific...""You want to go out?""Well, yes... Hopefully? Please?"Actions>I'd love to go out for dinner Elizabeth.>...No, no... I think we should just get back home...>...Why don't you use another form?>Write-In
>>1363070>I'd love to go out for dinner Elizabeth.
You decide to go out with Liz for dinner...Roll me a 1d20+4 to find a good place to eat at.+3 for ideas where to eat.+2 if Liz and you can think of a good form to go in+2 if you can continue to flirt and compliment her.
Rolled 17 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>1363132German. God knows how we would find it but German.Yuan-ti."So, shall we go and have a brilliant meal, my lovely lady?"
Rolled 3 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1363132
17+11=28Great Success!You and Liz go out to eat in your yuan-ti forms, and find a small German restaurant in Hansodr...Liz seems a bit shy to go in, worried she'd be recognized or something.Actions>...Come on, you'll be indistinguishable! Convince her to come in!>...Mention how that won't exactly be a problem. And flex. (And maybe intimidate the rest of the restaurant into not saying anything.)>Shift to different forms?>Write-In
>>1363686>>...Mention how that won't exactly be a problem. And flex. (And maybe intimidate the rest of the restaurant into not saying anything.)
>>1363686>...Come on, you'll be indistinguishable! Convince her to come in!"Because clearly the ultra-nationalist, cultural supremacist British queen is going to go into this one German restaurant in a form no one has ever seen her in before on a date with her husband who is currently very sick with a bio-weapon.Or it is a Yuan-ti couple. Which is much more likely."
>>1363686I'll switch to >>1363719
"Ah, clearly the ultra-nationalist, cultural supremacist British queen is going to go into this one German restaurant in a form no one has ever seen her in before on a date with her husband who is currently very sick with a bio-weapon. Or they'll think we're a Yuan-ti couple. Which is much more likely.""Ren... Come on, I mean, I'm pretty recognizable... It's the eyes, isn't it?""Well, you have cute eyes... Come on, let's go in..."You put your arm around her, and see a nice-looking Yuan-Ti waitress who goes to seat you and Liz...Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if you can avoid anyone seeing Elizabeth...+2 if you can give some adorable fake names to the waitress. For fun!+2 if you can of course, try to order something outside of your normal diet... And Elizabeth's normal one too.+2 if you can also try to come up with mental excuses in case anyone asks about why she's "so well built".+1 if you can try to slightly hide Elizabeth.+1 if you can mention how cute Liz is in her snek form.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>1363762You do realize keeping anyone from recognizing her means finding a large enough sweater to hide her Cleavage in. I don't think such a sweater exist.
Rolled 17 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>1363762How's Solaire doing right now? I remember he has a thing for Yuan-Ti, a specific waitress if I remember,but has that changed since Liz now has that form.
Rolled 16 + 12 (1d20 + 12)>>1363762Victoria and Alexander thatcher. Two strong names and the best I can do at 1 AM.If anyone asks why she is so well built...magic and enchantments on the clothes / her to make her look even more beautiful. Hold Liz close, have her lean into our chest and thus hide her adorable eyes."Such a cute little snake woman for such a handsome snake man...truly I am blessed."
17+12=29Amazing Success!You of course get through stealthily, and get a nice booth seat...Though Elizabeth's... Very long body and yours is...Well, it attracts a bit of attention. Two 20 meter snekpeople isn't something you see every day.After carefully maneuvering you sit down for lunch with Liz..."So Ren?""Yeah?""...I erh, need to use the restroom... But before I do that, I got a question.""What?""...How competent was I as the regent? I'm just... I'm kind of curious to hear your honest opinion..."Actions>...I thought you did really great.>...You know, I think you did alright...>You could do better.>...You were... I could do much better, just saying.>...It was pretty bad.>Write-In (She'll like you taking time to point out why she's a good or bad ruler!)
>>1363852>...I thought you did really great.
>>1363852>Write-In (She'll like you taking time to point out why she's a good or bad ruler!)"You dealt with all the problems competently.I mean, I would have liked you not needing to risk yourself in a Gnome science-bunker but I understand why you did it and can see the benefits from it.Which brings me to my next point, the negotiations with the kobolds, you handled it most excellently and got a good deal out of them.You did exactly what I would have done regarding the Minotaur immigrants as well.Then there was how you dealt with the infrastructure and elf problems in Stockholm.To summarise, you performed well. As I expected and you did it as I expected you would, which is to say there were fewer deaths than my methods would usually result in."
You mention to her how she did well... She seems quite happy and slithers off to the bathroom.Roll me a 1d20+5 to see how well the rest of the dinner goes.+2 if you and Liz can be loving towards each other in your yuan-ti form.+1 if you can find some legroom for Liz and your 20 meter long body. (+1 if you can slightly prevent anyone else from sitting in any seating nearby.
Rolled 16 + 7 (1d20 + 7)>>1363962Twistnour tails around each other.
>>1363962Entangling our snek bodies under the table.Coil them out from under the table in a ring like manner, so that if they wanted to pass they would have to climb over us.
16+9=25Good Success!You eat your dinner with Liz, when she speaks up."...So I'm just curious Ren...""Hm?""Am I erh... Well... I was wondering if I was a bit too motherly...""What do you mean?"'"...Well... I mean, Gwynevere seems to think that... And I sort of wanted your opinion on it.""She dislikes you acting like a mother?""Well... Sort of... She's a bit pestered when I talk to the kobolds.""Oh.... Erh...""I think it's fine just the way it is... But Gwynevere wants your opinion."Liz sips some tea, as you sort of realize you just got put into a bit of a crossfire...>Agree with Gwynevere. Liz is a bit too maternal to people. (Liz will dislike this! Gwyn will like this! Liz will be slightly less maternal in the future.)>Agree with Elizabeth! Liz is just fine! (Gwynevere will dislike this! Elizabeth will like this and might lean a bit towards being more maternal.)>(Shrewd Mind) Just respond with making out with Liz lustfully. That could work? (???)>Try to dodge the topic?
>>1364005>Agree with Gwynevere. Liz is a bit too maternal to people. (Liz will dislike this! Gwyn will like this! Liz will be slightly less maternal in the future.)
Rolled 9, 10 + 3 = 22 (2d20 + 3)"Well, I agree with Gwynevere..."Ignore my roll.
>>1364108>Average or moderate rollsOkay
Liz seems a bit insulted."Right, just agree with the sultry healer..."Actions>Try to convince Liz to be a bit less maternal...>Move along. Danger mindfield.>Wirte-In
>>1364154>Move along. Danger mindfield.
>>1364154>Move along. Danger mindfield
>>1364154>Move along. Danger mindfield.Heh, maybe it's best we let Gwyn try and convince her.
You are now Gwynevere. And your boyfriend has avoided the question.I am NOT too maternal! God, he can be so judgemental sometimes! Just because I have a habit of-Liz, you've been so maternal since we've gotten back, And even Ren thinks it's a bit weird.Elizabeth growls.I AM NOT TOO MATERNAL DAMN IT GWYNEVERE!He probably thinks your cheating on him, the way you wrap around everyone and coddle them...Roll me a 1d20-2 to see if you can convince Liz internally.+3 if you can give arguments why Liz should calm down a bit?+2 if you can try to tempt her with lustful thoughts with Ren...+2 if you can mention how she has far too many kids already..
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>1364706hahahahaha>you really shouldn't get upset here, think of how it would look to your subjects, it would be bad for all of us.>just keep calm, and remember we can take all this anger out on his body later. you know what I mean.>liz, you already have. . somewhere up past ten children, most families stop at four. don't you think maybe we can slow down a little, raise a few of the ones we already have. besides it's not like he's magicly going to stop giving us kids once they're out of the house.I've been busy today.
>>1364761Allowing a samefag if you can give arguments why she should stop being so maternal? And also of course, tempt her with lustful thoughts about Ren.
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>1364820>"You literally made a comment about breastfeeding one of your sons who is far to old for it. If you keep acting too maternal you do know it could actually harm a couple of your childrens development. At some point we can't coddle them.">"If it made you that angry, then wait until we get home, grab the three headed jerk by the throbbing fourth. And screw him until he's bedridden again. But damnit, don't blow up in the middle of dinner."
>>1364841In case you couldn't tell that was Elizabeth saying that as a joke.
>>1364871Was it really a joke. . . . Ok fine QM, replace that with thinking about keeping one of them from school.
One final samfeag if you can try to mention why the amount of kids you already have is enough.
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>1364919"You can barely keep track of all . . .Fuck I don't even know how many you have! The fact i can't remember the number and am literally attached to their mother should say something!"
11+5=16Failure!Elizabeth refuses to listen to your points... You give up, and decide to just go back to thinking dreamily about Ren.You are back to Renexizious, and Elizabeth looks a bit frustrated..."Something wrong Liz?""Just Gwnyevere...""Oh, yeah... I know how those other heads can be."What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"Anyways... Like the dinner?""Oh, it's great Renexizious. Thank you."She has the slight tone of being a bit agitated, and clearly disliked you mentioning your disapproval. She's nice enough not to argue with you though.Actions>Wrap dinner up?>Try to do something special for Elizabeth? She's probably stressed out from working so hard...>Write-In
>>1365001>Try to do something special for Elizabeth? She's probably stressed out from working so hard...Is there such a thing as a couples sauna/spa/bathhouse or should we take her to see a sporting event.
There's a few spas... And since this is Scandinavia, you can always fly to Finland to take a traditional sauna.
>>1365009Perfect. See if we can't distract her with one of those.
You decide to do something special, and take Elizabeth out to a spa...Do anons want to go to a normal spa for humans, one for scales, or another one for fur?
Rolled 1 (1d3)>>13650281.human2.scales3.fursI'm an indecisive faggot so whatever lands is my vote.
"So... Liz? Want to head to a spa?""Really? Oh, how nice... Hopefully they can do something about that breath though you've been having."She gives you a bit of a kiss on the nose and the two of you move along...What the hell does she mean by that?Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can cheer Elizabeth up!+3 if Renexizious can be a loving, considerate husband... Especially in the jacuzzi.+2 if Renexizious can of course mention to Elizabeth how beautiful she looks, and compliment her a lot.+2 if Ren can also try his best to actually relax...+1 if Renexizious can of course, think about how the hell to have better breath.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1365058>a loving, considerate husband... Especially in the jacuzzi.Nigga, it ain't Lovin, that's a fuckin. You know that damn well when a jacuzzi is involved.
>>1365058Better breath accomplished in a few easy steps. 1, fire breath. Cook out everything between your draconic teeth. 2, eat plenty of clean non yellow snow. 3. Your done, there is no three.Take care of the towels and grab a whole bunch to make a cushion so the preggers wife can sit up properly and comfortably. Then go old school Shakespearean while giving her a back massage.
>>1365077If you get a higher success just by relaxing a bit and complimenting Elizabeth a bit, her happiness will go up.
>>1365089"You've done a great job with the country. The people really love the effort you've put into ruling and I haven't seen moral recover this quickly before. And I owe that to the beautiful dragoness who gave me such great children."It's a jacuzzi, you relax in it by wrapping your arm around the other person and spreading your legs, maybe sitting yourself on or near a vent for a massage as well.
You of course help make Elizabeth feel better and she seems to relax visibly, along with you."...This is wonderful. Why don't we have one at home?""I don't remember why, honestly.""Yeah... Oh, Ren?""Yes?""I erh... I just remembered... My palace in England is finally done being repaired.""Oh...""...I'll probably be heading home in a few days... I well... I'll miss you, alright?"You sigh... This would come eventually.Actions>...Hey, it's alright. You need to rule your country, I need to rule mine... (You'll lose one national action.)>...Stay here until you give birth, alright?>...Liz... Why don't I try to make your last few days in Sweden absolutely thrilling? (Elizabeth will be extraordinarily happy! If successful, might even mean an upgrade for her.)>...Come on, you should stay here... Please?>Write-In
>>1365113>...Come on, you should stay here... Please?You don't split the royal family. And our focus in that should be in Sweden over England. The lack of a queen over there should be handled easily by having a sister or another relative start ruling either as a princess or something.
"Liz, please... Stay here?"She seems sympathetic, she really does."I'll miss you too Ren. Make sure to visit often, alright?""Liz... PLease, just appoint another member of your family to rule... Your place is here."She seems sympathetic and a bit guilty...Roll me a 1d20+1 anons+3 if Ren can really try to convince her to stay!+2 if Ren can give a good argument to why the people love her and she needs to stay!+2 if you can be quite lustful towards her in the jaccuzi. (+1 if you can also be lustful towards her breasts.)+2 if you can appeal to her maternal side... (+1 if you can also mention how much more nice it is here when she's pregnant than a lonely castle... +1 if you can bring up the promise of MORE children and excite her with it..)
Rolled 19 + 1 (1d20 + 1)>>1365248
>>1365248Tell her that we do better when we have her around. That more has gotten done with her around and we haven't been happier than when she's around to wrap around us. Although we do wish she didn't choke us as much when she does.And think of the children, it would be much nicer for them if their parents were under the same roof. Plus their mother could actually spend more time with them, see that they grow up right.Finally, her popularity, she actually holds more sway over our own people than we do. While they respect our authority they actually WANT to serve Elizabeth.
"Liz, the kids need you. I need you. Sweden needs you. I don't need to tell you I love it when your around...""I know... It's.... I can't really... I can't abandon my work in England... Who knows what Parliament has done...""Liz, it'll be fine. People will tell you if anything's happened..."You think your quite close to convincing her, and she looks at you with a look that yells "I wish I could".Roll me a 1d20+5 to convince her to stay.+3 if you can do something very sweet and loving to try and get her to stay.+2 if you can either be a bit emotional... Or mention how much she actually means to you.+2 if you can mention how much the people and Sweden need her...
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>1365290"Please, my dear wife. I don't actually know how I'm going to manage without you. What is a king without his queen? What am I without my Elizabeth."Really we can't rule these people without her. Too many already don't like us.
Who would make for an excellent choice to make the ruler of England?
>>1365293Edward VIII duh
Just a question, why can't she rule from Sweden? I mean, I could understand if we were in the 1900's or something but we have phones and fax machines and shit.Considering how quickly we can advance tech, why don't we just set up something so she can teleconference with the parliament and shit.
>>1365299Imagine if the Vice President or Speaker of the house were only in congress while on Skype. It would come off as just disrespectful to other participants and probably make the person look lazy, as if their just golfing in Hawaii or something. Also considering our levels of tech, the reception probably wouldn't be good and there's more meaning when the person is actually there speaking.
Critical Success"Please, my dear wife... I'm not sure how I'm going to manage without you? What's a king without his Queen? What am I without my Elizabeth?"She breaks completely, giving you a very tense hug and surprising you."I love you too." She seems very happy by your comment, and you give her a nice hug..."So... Does that mean your staying?""...Oh God yes! Oh, I'm so sorry for worrying you dear... I know you'd be so isolated and introverted without me...""What's that supposed to mea-"She gives you a tight squeeze."Nothing, nothing... You just don't get out a lot, hon.""I get out a lot!""...Not a lot dear."You sigh and she continues to hug you..."Well... Thank you for staying with me. It means a lot.""...I know... I'll have such a commute though... Though I have ONE demand.""What?""...You are cuddling with me on Fridays. Always.""I can accept that."Elizabeth cuddles up to in her human form, and the two of you relax."...Anyways... There was this lovely play going on downtown... I was wondering if you wanted to go.""What's it about?""I think it's about me, I think... I'm not entirely sure.""Oh... Well...""...Did I mention that if you go I promise to make you breakast?""You always make me breakfast though.""...How about with 33% more butter? And a hug?""You really want to go don't you?"Actions>Alright... Well, let's go see that play.>How come you get a play about you?>...I'd rather just head home...>...You know, I think we could have something exciting to do at home... If you know what I mean.>Write-In
>>1365316>Alright... Well, let's go see that play.>Who do I have to eat to get a play about me? (Joke)
>>1365316>Alright... Well, let's go see that play.>How come you get a play about you?
You decide to go see that play with Liz..."God, who do I have to eat to get a play about me?""You know, I could always ask them before you eat them...""That was a joke, hon.""Oh... Anyways, let's go! It'll be wonderful."Of course, you leave the spa quite relaxed as Elizabeth talks to you about Welsh Pembrokes, terriers... She certainly seems to know a bit about dogs."Oh, I must say, I had the most adorable dog approach me when I was younger... He was one of those Golden Retrievers, and he slobbered all over my five-year old face...""...I see you love dogs.""You know, I've always was curious if we could get ourselves a little Welsh Corgi... Oh, they'd be so sweet..."Actions>...Maybe you should surprise Elizabeth... Make a quick stop somewhere nearby and find her a Welsh Corgi.>I'm not much of a fan of dogs...>Oh, I love dogs...>Let's talk about something else...>Liz, I think you might remember one dog in particular... (Summon Blondi)>Write-In
>>1365327>...Maybe you should surprise Elizabeth... Make a quick stop somewhere nearby and find her a Welsh Corgi.
>>1365327>...Maybe you should surprise Elizabeth... Make a quick stop somewhere nearby and find her a Welsh Corgi.It's not much of a surprise if she watches us take her to a pet shop.
You tell the driver to wait on the corner while you go and get some "pastries for the kids"You go to find a nearby pet shop maybe...Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you can indeed find Liz a Welsh corgi...+3 if you can think where one might be...+2 if you can think lustfully about Liz and be happy she's staying... (+1 if you can think about lustful things you could of done in that jaccuzi...)
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1365350The nearest pet shop with a Welsh Corgi would probably be . . . Oh fuck it somewhere with a heavy English population.
Allowing samefagging if you can be quite envious of Elizabeth getting a play and everyone loving her.
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1365350
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>1365363I do great things, I fight in our wars, I stop bomb attacks, why can't I just get some of the love and recognition I deserve.
>>1365371A little more envy anon.Also, if you can think a bit lustfully you'll have a higher success.
>>1365377You take the Queen. You put her on the pole, then you add foam to the jacuzzi. Your foam. You repeat until the prunification is complete and you get out. Repeat once again until she begs to stop. Happiness achieved
15+6=21Good Success!You eventually find an elven pet shop, and search...Wait a minute... Hang on... Doesn't Elizabeth already have a few dogs at her palace?...Erh... I don't remember her ever mentioning that.Yeah. How would you know that Flames?...I mean, I remember Elizabeth talking about how she loved them since she met the Marquess of Bath... Whatever that is.I don't even remember that....It was when you were sleeping and she talked to us... So I sort of decided to answer for you....Nothing serious, right?No, no. She just sort of talks about things she likes, things we should do, etc...Hm.Do you know what her dog is called?I think... Susan?Hm.Actions>...Time to take a quick trip to England...>...Elizabeth would love a new corgi. Look into getting her another one.>...Eeh... I don't know if I want a dog...>Write-In
>>1365396>...Elizabeth would love a new corgi. Look into getting her another one.A pet store around the corner is a lot quicker then traveling several hundred miles to Britain,
>>1365396>...Elizabeth would love a new corgi. Look into getting her another one.
You go into a pet store, and find a pembroke...Roll me a 1d20+4 to see it's attitude towards you and others..+2 if you can try to come up with a name for it...+2 if you can try to think how Elizabeth will take care of the doggo.+2 if Ren can continue to think lustfully about Liz.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1365416
>>1365426Want to do the bonuses anons?
>>1365430HigbyI think Liz is going to take out her motherlyness on the poor thing and coddle it. God help us if she starts cooking for it.
>>1365436If you do a few more of the bonuses, it'll likely have a better personality. Or do you want me to continue?>Tfw your glasses lens pop out and you step on it, fucking your glasses upBe back in a hour anons.
Back anons. A one-hour trip went a bit differently than I expected.Anyways...You fortunately find a Pembroke that isn't exactly going to bite your fingers off, and seems a bit scared of you... You decide to call him Higby, and you quickly buy him...Higby seems quite terrified of you, and you think about how to surprise Elizabeth...Roll me a 1d20+7 to see how well Elizabeth loves it.If it's a critical failure, the doggo will be so terrified it'll suffer a heart attack and ruin your entire night with Liz.+3 if you can get the dog to be less terrified of you. Why the hell is it so scared of you?+2 if you can think how to best surprise Elizabeth with the doggo.+1 if Ren can continue lustful thoughts of Liz.
Rolled 3 + 9 (1d20 + 9)>>1365983Since our body is very large, I bet that if we have a coat pocket it will be large enough for a small dog like a corgi to fit in. Gently put the dog in our coat and we'll surprise Liz with it.
Rolled 1 + 13 (1d20 + 13)>>1365983Talk to it in a low slow voice and avoid crowding it. Let it lick / smell us or cower in fear if it wants. Try changing form and see if that helps.I dunno, maybe give her a box and say something about great things coming in small packages? While in our Kobold form or something?Snek Liz. Cow Liz. Dog Liz. All the Liz's, all the time.
>>1366024Oh, for fuck sake.
>>1365983>If it's a critical failure, the doggo will be so terrified it'll suffer a heart attack and ruin your entire night with Liz.>>1366024...
>>1366024. . . .
>>1366043>>1366062So, in other news. I think necromancy is definitely something we need to get better at, in the next few minutes seems like a nice time scale...
>>1366077Anon, I swear to Odin.
So...Do anons want to try barbaric to avoid killing a corgi?>Yes!>Nah... Doggos aren't worth it.Also, I assume your terrifying it into not having a heartattack(?)Pls don't ask how this works.
>>1366077In not so sure about upgrading necromancy. One small reason I don't want to upgrade it, and one you don't have to listen to, is that I, and Jupiter, find it distasteful. However for something more serious and something I kinda want to get off my chest is that Ren and necromancy are OP and Mary Sue as fuck. The instance where Maria was captured and Anons just didn't do it and did stuff like chase after women. She gets fucking beheaded but fuck any consequences because we'll just resurrect her and everything's instantly okay. Using necromancy to just revive characters like Higby just gets on my nerves
>>1366111Yes, and it would basically be scaring it so badly about what would happen if it does die that it lives to avoid it.
>>1366112I'm against doing necromancy because we have Charlemagne and Ritter, not to mention the church. I want paladins run by a religious dragon prince and a werewolf robot crusader.
>>1366125While I have my opinions about necromancy, it does have its advantages like collecting information from dead enemies. I just wanted to rant about how it can and somewhat is OP.
>>1366112Not exactly "Scot free" mind you. She's effectively unable to leave at day, and if someone happens to push against her head enough, she gets decapitated extremely easily meaning a permanent death since she's already undead. Also, she's quite depressed.Also, turning your kids into vampires, or undead creatures is a fucking terrible idea.Roll me 1d20 to see about terrifying a doggo?+3 if you can threaten the doggo about if it bites you or Liz, and what it can expect.+2 if you can DEMAND him to be house-trained, and threaten him if he isn't.+2 if you can think barbaric lustful thoughts about Liz.
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1366151True. Although with the stuff you just mentioned, anons effectively pushed her off to the side and forgot about her while they were happy or content with what they did; pulling her out of true death and keeping her alive in a type of hindered and happy state.
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1366151If you bite her I will take you to a Chinese restaurant so fast your head will tear off.And if you piss all over the rug, even death wont save you!Your my ticket tonight. I swear when I'm done her privates are going to be so raw you can cook a puppy in them.
Allowing samefag if you can think a bit more lustfully and terrify the doggo a bit more.
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>1366201I'm going to lay into her hard enough to put a hole in the wall, then keep pounding until we go through the wall, then the floor and land on you little dog, then I'll fuck her on top of you like a bear skin rug!
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>1366201Reminisce about that time where Liz and Ren tumbled near a geothermal vent and think about how awesome it would be to install a sauna in the palace to mimic that.Gently caress the dog with something like a Half-Dragon claw and keep issuing him threats of Chinese cuisine.
6+7=13Great Failure!You of course, terrify the dog so hard, that it stops moving. Great. It's stopped resisting.You take it into the car, and prepare to show Elizabeth the dog you got her...That's when you feel something trickle down you- For fuck's sake it released it's bowels in your fucking coat.The doggo seems to have been so terrified it died of freight, and of course now you smell of dog urine.Elizabeth even catches a glimpse of it's ear poking out of your coat pocket and seems visibly happy... And her nose is quite irritated.Wow, we're shitty at pets. Even worse at timing.Actions>...Fuck, fuck... Erh... Make up an excuse for her to look the other way and throw it out the window.>There's only one thing that can save you now. Blondi.>...Fuck. Pretend that it's sick or something.>...Mention how you have to use the restroom really, really badly.>Write-In
>>1366289>...Fuck, fuck... Erh... Make up an excuse for her to look the other way and throw it out the window.Hi look! I think it's the queen of England.
>>1366289>...Mention how you have to use the restroom really, really badly.We fucked this up, let's hope the Opera goes over better after we make an impromptu grave marker.
>>1366349Switching to this. We can go to the bathroom and say Higby ran off.
You suddenly need to go to restroom...Roll me a 1d20+5 to avoid suspicion.+2 if you can try to explain this sudden onset of "needing to use the dragon's room"+2 if you can try to be loving and try to downplay the terrible surprise gift you did.+1 if you can think about how to take care of the evidence.
Rolled 4 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>1366379Dissolve the dog a bit with our acidic saliva and flush it down the toilet.
>>1366379Blame it on the Bioweapon.Head pats and implications that she just was seeing things that weren't there.
Rolled 9 + 10 (1d20 + 10)>>1366406Forgot to roll.
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1366379
Allowing a samefag if you can be a bit angry and think more lustful thoughts about Liz.
H-hi QM, how about we take a small break from this date and switch perspectives to get more of our favorite Charlemagne.
Or we can just have him ask if they can take a moment to bury the puppy. I mean it would be slightly better than just running off and doing so.
9+10=19Minor Failure!"I erh... I uh.. I have to go."You give her a headpat and try to get up... She seems highly confused and a tad bit suspicious...Eventually you get back after quickly burying the dog, and you throw the coat away... God, you need somesort of drink.You head back to the car, and you get ambushed...By Elizabeth."So... Ren? What were you doing back there?""Erh... Liz? Why did you follow?""Well... I just wanted to make sure everything was alright..."She seems a bit suspicious...Actions>Admit the truth?>...Everything's fine. Fine as can be.>...Erh... Hey, you know, you look extra nice right now... Just uh, saying.>...You caught me... Blondi really wanted to play... (Summon him?)>Write-In
>>1366492>Admit the truth?The dog was terrified of me to the point that it defecated itself, had a heart attack and died. I'm sorry.
You decide to admit the truth to Elizabeth.Roll me a 1d20, and only one roll.+2 if you can try to come up with the best apology you can.
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>1366871I tried to do something special for you, and it just didn't work. Everything that could have gone wrong just did in all of fifteen minutes. I'm so sorry honey.
Oh come the fuck on, what is with the god damned threes!
3+2=5Amazing Failure!As soon as you admit the truth, she seems visibly shaken and upset...Goddamn it.You have lost 25 Opinion for accidentally killing a doggo.Actions>Try to continue the date?>...Head home as a failure.>...What? The dog? I was joking! He's erh, perfectly fine. Yeah>Write-In
>>1366980>Try to continue the date?Take her to that play, hopefully we can salvage that.
>>1366980>Try to continue the date?I gotta ask. What would've happened if we rolled a one?
>>1367020Elizabeth would have thought you were personally responsible for killing it, and would of hated it deeply. (Being a -40.)Roll me a 1d20+1 to see if you can salvage the date.+3 if you can try to remind her how great the play will be!+2 if Ren can try to comfort her!
Rolled 5 + 1 (1d20 + 1)>>1367052Hopefully we can save this. We were doing okay and keeping her happy.
Rolled 11 + 1 (1d20 + 1)>>1367052
Allowing a samefag if you can worry about Elizabeth not really wanting to "hang out" after the date, and if she's upset at you.
>>1367052Well, we got your approval rating from the census recently, and it turns out you actually have some fanatical followers something me and Charlemagne can't boast about, and most of the people who didn't really like you were either other women or flat out gay. The play will be great, I'm sure they will be singing your praises.Wrap an arm around her and hold her tightly. Pepper her with compliments and try to massage her when she feels nervous or cold.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1367099We already know there is no way in hell she will let us "play" with her. Especially seeing as a dog was involved. I hope she doesn't decide to go to England because of this.
14+6=20Minor Success!You convince Elizabeth to come along for the theater... She's upset enough that she's reluctant...You get to the theater...Roll me a 1d20+3 to see how well Elizabeth enjoys this.+3 if you can be loving and apologetic during the theater...+2 if you can point out how cute she is and try to relax her...+2 if you can jokingly be envious of her getting a play in her honor...
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1367187
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1367187
Rolled 16 + 10 (1d20 + 10)>>1367187"I apologise for how the night is going but I just wanted to do something to bring another cute smile to your face...let's just enjoy this play, in your honour....Wish I got a play in my honour, not a big one but something would be nice...I mean I saved them from a bomb threat, defeated two demonic cults, not to mention that one train bombing..."
>>1367187Where are the other anons?Once again, wrap arms around shower with compliments and give that backrub. And remind her how lucky we are to have her for a wife.Remind her how adorable that minotaurs form was. Then find some unique features in this one to shower her with compliments over. Then don't forget to joke about how she's so cute we wish we could have a hundred plushie Lizzie's to make a bed out of.
>>1367239You sir can have my hat.
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)16+10=26Great Success!You apologize to Liz, and wrap your arms around her shoulder and continue to give her a back rub... And of course, remind her how adorable she was as a minotaur.She certainly seems to enjoy your attention and watches, but you can tell she's still a bit upset...+5 Opinion from Elizabeth.Ignore my roll anons.
>>1367774Elizabeth is of course, greatly honored by the play and makes sure the screenplay writer gets some reward for his troubles...After that scenario ends, you begin to drive home...Liz doesn't seem "pissed" but more... "Disappointed" in you.Eventually you get home, and Liz... Considers giving you a kiss, but gives you a hug. She heads to bed, and you think you might of gotten the couch for tonight...Meanwhile, as Charlemagne...You have been fervently working on your theories against the gnomes... For at least three days straight. Your at least... 98% sure they're Jewish. 2% is reserved for them being Atheists.Or related to Jews. You wouldn't be surprised if their last names had "Berg" everywhere...Mostly however, you've been trying to figure out WHO Aria is...Now of course, you went to ask the kobolds... Which honestly wasn't that hard, it took you only two hours to get to the front desk and not trigger any traps on your own. You did nearly fall for the classic "ring for service trap bomb", but luckily your wit let you find the actual ring for service.Now, from what you heard about from the Legate... No one knows who the hell "Aria" is.Great.So she could be using a fake name, or simply not important...It's of course when you begin to connect the dots.After looking through the mostly charred Dean's work, you finally notice that he sent letters to this "Aria"...These letters are however, quite burnt, but there's an address on them, located in Uppsala...Now of course, normally you'd be down there in a heartbeat, but you've noticed something...One of the letters went to someone else... Another address, this time up in Trondheim. Mostly about the sale of "occult materials" and other suspect materials...Actions>Go to investigate Aria!>Go to investigate the occult!>...Ignore it. You need sleep.>...See if you can get Ulf to help you. You might be missing something.>Write-In
>>1367851>...See if you can get Ulf to help you. You might be missing something.The memes shall guide you. Besides, this is one of the first times he's been vindicated by the government.
>>1367851Who is Ulf?
>>1368177Our Alex Jones equivalent.
You call up Ulf...He seems willing to help, but of course it'll take him time to get there... Very well, you suppose.You decide to pass the time with a nap, and maybe a visit to a bar...Meanwhile, as Renexizious...You finally get up off the couch... Elizabeth seems to have "forgotten" to make breakfast. She's still pissed at you, great. Or just so disappointed she wants you to learn from your mistakes or something.Either way, you ask your chief servant where she is, and it seems she's flown off to England on business... Apparently she'll be back in two weeks.Wonderful.You can't help but feel a bit discouraged, and you sit on the couch to catch up on Gunsmoke.Of course, suddenly two very large, fuzzy hands put a huge bowl of salad in front of you, complete with slightly overcooked chicken and a little too much ranch dresssing."...Chrysoula?""H-hi.. I erh, I heard about last night.""Yeah... I messed up big time. Liz isn't too happy. Didn't even make me breakfast.""Y-yeah... I erh... I did though. I hope you like it... Even if I kinda don't know how to cook."You take a fork and begin to eat the salad... It's... Well, to you, you refer meat. The over-cooked chicken is only a little scorched, but otherwise good.Chrysoula sits next to you... She seems sad, but otherwise doesn't seem to blame you for anything."S-so... I... I..."She sneezes into her arm."Sorry... I erh... I'm not feeling to well.""Please don't tell me you sneezed into this salad. I prefer not to have a cold.""N-no... I-I just... I don't feel well right now.""Strange... Anyways, what were you saying?""I made you a necklace... I-I hope you and Flames like it."She takes out a small box from her pocket, and hands it to you...You of course, open it up to see a steel chain necklace, with a rather ornate looking rose on it... The tulip itself is made of stained glass... It would fit around your neck in dragon or dragotaur form, really. There's also another identical one for Flames."I-I erh... Well, I only knew of one plant... Besides a cabbage... Or grass. Or onion... A-Alright, I mean flower... But... Well, do you like it?"She seems quite nervous giving this to you, worried about what you'll say...Actions>...Well... Thank you, Chrysoula. For the breakfast and the necklace. I'll make sure to wear it!>Oh, well thanks! I'm not too sure if I'll be able to wear it too much.>...Shrug, and mention how it could be better.>...I'm not interested, thanks. Maybe Flames is though.>...Chrysoula, why the hell did you give me this?>Write-in
>>1368747>...Well... Thank you, Chrysoula. For the breakfast and the necklace. I'll make sure to wear it!>I'm sure Flames is ecspecially thankful for this
>>1368747>...Well... Thank you, Chrysoula. For the breakfast and the necklace. I'll make sure to wear it!Well lads. We killed a puppy. . . Any ideas for getting on her good side again?
>>1369007Buy her more puppies? Like, six?In all honesty we can get her love back pretty easy. Assuming no one has any problem with another 30 succession crises-in-waiting wandering our palace and empire?
>>1369017We scared it to death, i'm pretty sure we would just have another 6 dead puppies on our hands.
>>1369024...We have reserves...Reserves of puppies...Okay, plan B. What if we made a dog? Made one that looks like a corgi, sounds like a corgi and acts like one but is actually more long lived, smart and resistant to heart attacks.
>>1369007Give into her demands of sex more.>>1369024>>1369033We could probably have our servants get the puppies or something. Maybe even find a really good dog breeder and get dogs specially trained to not get heart attacks in front of stuff like Yuan-Ti or Half-Dragons.
>>1369033>>1369058How about no more puppies. It was a terrible idea considering we are massive fucking dragons with multiple heads.
>>1369061Okay I hear what you are saying.A snake-ferret it is then.
>>1369063Why the fuck not, what can possibly go wrong with that? Know what, maybe we would be safer with. I dunno a bear.
>>1369061>>1369063How about a Komodo dragon? O what if we get a puppy and make a mutagen to turn it into something more Draconic and less likely to die from us like a 90 year old man with heart problems.
. . . I give up on the pets front. Cook her a morning meal?
>>1369098Maybe try conquering the world for her by the time she gets back in 2 weeks.
I'm going to be back soon. Just walking up back to my house with plenty of alcohol.
>>1369111Well, she does want world domination. Finish subjugation of Nam? Korea?
>>1369129Unless you intended to give them as gifts to England, she'd think your just working.
>>1369132Hmn, which do you think she'd like more?
I'm back home my senpai. For now at least.You happily accept the gift and she seems quite happy."Hey, I was wondering something Renexizious...""What?""Did you want me to talk to Liz?""Oh... You'd do that?""W-well, yeah... I'm worried about you two. She loves dogs... And you kinda scared one to death.""...Which defecated in my coat.""Oh, I uh... I fixed that. Cleaned it.""Really?""...Yeah. It wasn't a good sight. But I hope you like it... I hanged it up in your lab. And I made sure to use some perfume... Fancy stuff."She sneezes not too long after saying this.Oh, how nice. She fixed your coat... Now do you want her to help you more?Actions>Chrysoula, I can handle Liz. I have the perfect way to cheer her up.>I wouldn't mind if you helped Chrysoula.>...I'm surprised you went that far. Cleaning up that coat... I personally would of bought a new one.>...Chrysoula, are you feeling alright? I'm just curious.>Write-In
>>1369446>...Chrysoula, are you feeling alright? I'm just curious.>If you can help us come up with an idea, it would be great.
>>1369446>I wouldn't mind if you helped Chrysoula.>...I'm surprised you went that far. Cleaning up that coat... I personally would of bought a new one.Totally not so that they go shopping again and up near a place with a lot of money during an episode of confusion.
"Chrysoula? Are you feeling alright? I'm just curious.""...I'm fine... I think I just have a cold or something, my throat's been a bit scratchy though.""Oh... Well, do you have any ideas?""...Well, she loves poetry... Kids... Also you..."[red}"I know that.""...How about you erh... Try to bond with a kid? I mean, you have a lot.""I do... And she probably wants more.""...She'd weird like that, I guess.""You don't want any?""I-I erh... I've never really seen myself in the whole "raising a family" thing... I have things I want to do.""Right."Actions>Any other ideas Chrysoula?>Eh... I'm not sure if that would help...>...Why don't I try to do something special for her? What else would she like...>I have the perfect idea.>Write-In
>>1369544>Write-In"Chrysoula, I would advise you that you may have caught the Gnome bio-weapon off of me. There is no reason to panic, seeing as we know the treatments for it and such.It is thus going to be my highest priority while Liz is away taking care of business to help your deal with this...possibly step out towards the end if you are feeling well and get her something. If it's going to be something like a song or poem then I can think of that over the time I care for you."
>>1369577Ah, this. Let us focus on Charlemagne and his fight against conspiracy.
You tell Chrysoula that she might of caught the Gnome bio-weapon... She panics a bit, but you calm her and mention how you'll take care of her... She seems a bit hesitant and mentions how she has work in a hour and was going to go down... She mentions how she used up all her sick days to take care of you too...Roll me a 1d20+4 to see how well you can take care of Chrysoula...+3 if you can find a way to keep her comfortable, bedridden, that sort of thing.+2 if you can decide to call up the foreman and see if you can get Chrysoula more sick days... (Keep in mind you'll have to roll. If it's a failure, she'll lose her job. If you do nothing, it'll also result in her losing her job.)+2 if you can mention how much you love her, and why everything will be alright...+1 if you can find small, loving things to do for her.
Rolled 7 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1369679
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>1369679Call the foreman. If we have to we can simply replace her with a slave for a little.Now we can tuck her in put a book in her hand and occasionally check in have her test our cooking or help us work on how to cheer Elizabeth up. (I have a plan)
Rolled 10 + 12 (1d20 + 12)>>1369679Time to make a Minotaur burrito using some nice, soft blankets and our largest bed.Yes - "Foreman, this is the literal ruler of your current nation of occupation, work and possibly origin. I am afraid to say your Minotaur worker is sick, having caught a bio-weapon from me while caring for me. While she is off recovering, I am willing to compensate your company from my private funds.Alternatively I can try and find the needed time to fulfil her hours for her while I am taking care of her.""Chrysoula, you are a minotaur. You are a thing of myth and legend, born unto a species that have survived things far worse than this. I will see everything done to make this tolerable for you, as a sign of my dedication and love for you."Glasses of water, head pats and shit.
15+12=27Amazing Success!You of course, begin to take care of her, and you try to convince the Foreman to give her some extra days...Roll me a 1d20+7 anons.+2 if you can either be very, very intimidating, convince him, or mention how urgent it is that she stays with you for a few days.+1 if you can mention how she's his best worker... And why she deserves more days off.
Rolled 10 + 7 (1d20 + 7)>>1369734Tell the foreman that we're the fucking Emperor and we can have him executed if we want.
>>1369734"This is your best worker out sick, you can make due until she is physically capable of working." "Believe me you do not want to fight with me about this. I've ordered assassinations for less and for far more selfish reasons than repaying someone's kindness."
>>1369782You forgot to roll anon.
10+8=18Borderline Success!The foreman is willing to give her a day or two off... And that's it.Great. Chrysoula has two days to get well...Or you could just force the Foreman to accept more days. He seems unconvinced your actually Renexizious though.What do?>Head down there personally...>Send the death squad to intimidate him.>Send the death squad to arrange an "accident">A few days is fine...>Write-in
>>1369832>A few days is fine...
>>1369832>Head down there personally...
Do anons want to head down there in their dragon form? Or a different form?
>>1369883Dragon. When someone says they are the king, and you tell them "sure" don't be surprised when the king shows up in his full glory to call you a bitch.
You decide to head down there personally. And scare this Foreman...Roll me a 1d20+4 if you can terrify the Foreman.+3 if you can come up with a terrifying way to enter the construction yard.+2 if you can terrify in particular those who have a tendancy to "stare at Chrysoula's assets"+2 if you can try to hide the reason your here from everyone else... You'd rather not have other people realize your second head is married to another woman.+1 if you can of course, terrify the foreman by mentioning how much Chrysoula means to you and Flames. (+1 if you can also mention to the foreman, what will happen if he neglects to give her a raise, some more days off, and other benefits. +1 if you can also use your inner draconic overlord and order him to appease you.)
Rolled 17 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1369924
>>1369929Nice. >>1369924Roar at the construction yard and land right in the middle of whatever closest empty space there is. "FOREMAN!"
17+10=27Amazing Success!You eventually land, and easily intimidate the Foreman... Who easily caves in, at realizing who he's angered. Especially after you dangle him for a bit.It's not too long until you leave...Meanwhile, as Charlemagne...Roll me a 1d20+5, no rolls besides the first. This is for how well you've diagnosed the situation.
Rolled 9 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>1369991#YOLO
9+5=14You've gotten a little clarification...After some intensive research, you've think you have found a lead...On a ship off the coast of Sweden, your fairly sure the crew is carrying something that may help your interests into the Gnomes and Drow conspiracies... Mostly because the captain is a drow himself. Or at least, hidden to look like a human.There's only a few problems though.First of all, it's flying the German flag. Which means it's offically a member of the German Navy.It's a merchant ship, luckily enough... Though protect by a cruiser not too far away.Your inside sources (being a harbor's customs officer) reports the last shipment had contained mostly iron and steel...A little more searching reports that the iron and steel was later found to be in poor quality, and was utlimately discarded... The reason you know the captain's a drow however, is that the Dean mentioned the captain has more than once personally visited him on behalf of Aria...Actions>...Try to investigate this merchant ship. With stealth.>...You know who's great at stealth... Your friend Claw. He needs to get out more anyways.>...See about raiding the ship. (Cause a diplomatic crisis between Germany and Sweden.)>...Ignore it. You don't want to anger the Germans.>Write-In
>>1370029>...Try to investigate this merchant ship. With stealth.
>>1370063I'm going to point out that Charlemagne isn't very good at stealth. He's a large half dragon. Very noticable.
>>1370068By "stealth" I was just thinking about trying to kill everything in our path in a not so gruesome way kinda like how Liz kept on taking out all those guards at the gnome complex with revolvers.
>>1370071This is a ship. Not a huge underground base. Everything is very close quarters, sound will travel, and someone will contact the Germans if you get detected.Keep in mind they're all largely unarmed civilians.
>>1370081Can't we just fly onto the deck kill everyone who tries to fight and have a large group of military craft gather around and board it?
>>1370081So would Claw do any better?
>>1370089Charlemagne isn't a dragon, and effectively attacking a German trading vessel will likely lead to WW3.>>1370091Well, unless you wanted to be lethal, try to "ghost" it, or take everyone on the ship prisoner, his methods would leave plenty of witnesses, but he is extremely stealthy and agile.
>>1370096>likely lead to WW3.Tempting. At this point I think we should either do it ourselves so Charlemagne can get upgradepoints or just leave.
Well, what do anons want to do? Claw can do it extremely stealthily, but might leave plenty of witnesses unless he's lethal. Charlemagne is poor at stealth, plain and simple.
>>1370113Simple we blockade it at Port. It's in our waters and under investigation. We will handle diplomacy by informing them the vessel is under quarantine. We can handle diplomacy while we have it investigated and by that I mean subjected to a full search by what amounts to military police.
>>>1370113The Germans won't exactly like that, and especially dislike it if the captain goes suspiciously missing or he suspects documents, etc was stolen.And it's not in your waters, it's in German waters currently.
>>1370144Hmn. We have Black ops units, claw, the Kobolds, what else is at our disposal. If possible I would suggest having the Kobolds do a raid.
>>1370151The kobolds will have little interest in boarding a ship, especially since they have little knowledge about how oceans work, how to board a ship, how to not be sea-sick, etc. They'll be much less effective then usual.
>>1370162In that case, I guess it's between claw and a black ops unit.
>>1370170Claw will have autistic bonuses and will be playable, but the black ops unit will be a single roll type deal. (No extra dice rolls besides the first one.)
>>1370175I think claw, anyone else?
So anyways anons, I've been thinking...Because Renexizious is so powerful, and anons typically don't roll too much, I might be moving to a sort of "advantage" system.It's a bit extreme, but here's the proposed changes...There would be no bonuses given save for write-ins, or certain mutations.Your skill modifier/attribute modifier will go up against a certain DC for the skill. If it is -3 orlower than the requirement, you can only roll one dice.If it's -2 or +2 points or inbetween, you can roll two dice. If it's +3 above, you can roll three dice.In addition, all the DCs will be told to you.For example.>Break down a wooden door! (Strength DC: 3)If you had a modifier of +1, that would give you two dice since you are -2 away from the DC.Or...>Create a Half-Dragon Mutagen! (Alchemy DC: 4)And Renxeizious's alchemy is 8. He'd get three dice.And for let's say...>Elaborately speak and gesture to throw the noble off his game! (Stagecraft DC: 5)And Renexizious's Stagecraft is 5, he'd roll 2 dice.In addition, Write-In choices will always have a bonus of +1, making write-ins more powerful then usual.In addition, I plan to add some more Agility rolls in the future...I feel like Renexizious and Elizabeth need a bit of nerfing to their rolls. I'll also be cutting down on bonuses from here on.Finally, as a small change...I plan to heavily simplify your Army, by having "statistics" for it.For example.Regiment of Stockholm.Ranged Strength: +3Manpower: +3Melee Strength: -1Morale Strength: +3Leadership: +3Experience: EliteIn addition, combat will be a bit different... It'll all be versus rolls from now on. And rolls will be a bit changed.If Renexizious has advantage over a Regiment, he'll get 3 rolls, while the other regiment gets 1. (If it was Veteran, they always get at least two. If they're Elite, they always get three due to being the best of the best.)Here's how an example combat would work.Renexizious rolls to attack Regiment of Stockholm.Ren has Advantage, meaning 3 rolls. An opposing regiment has Disadvantage, meaning 1 roll.Ren rolls a 18, 18, and 5.The other regiment rolls a 19.In this circumstance, Renexizious would be injured in this battle, and do no "statistical" damage.If Ren rolled a 19, 18, and a 17, and they rolled a 2, they'd be injured and take statistical damage, while Renexizious would not.Renexizious's Ranged Attack would be Agility, and his Melee Attack would be Strength, for example.Anyways, I'm going to sleep. Tell me if this is a good idea or not.This is meant to add some more difficulty and make anons reliant more on their soldiers and followers too.In addition, I plan to have a "battle" map in the future.
>>1370802Also...Certain Regiments might become "Regiments of Renown" and much more powerful than usual. They'll get a special ability in addition.Also, your Personal Regiments are now going to be called your Personal Retinue. Your Personal Retinue are in charge of security, protecting those you want protected, and typically being fall-back soldiers you can call on at any time.
>>1370802This seems fair
Anyways, I'll be rolling for if you guys decide to do Claw or nothing in about 45 mins. Please decide by then.
Rolled 1 (1d2)Rolling.1=Claw!2=Don't do anything.
You of course, decide to get Claw on the job...Of course, it's not too hard to convince him, since he's eager to go outside and do something...You make arrangements for a small boat to be given to him, and of course, tell him how to do his job...How should Claw do this?>Try to not be seen at all! (Hard in his Gelatinious Form due to it's size!)>Take care of the crew non-lethally... (May leave witnesses.)>Take care of the crew lethally. (No witnesses.)>...Try to take the crew prisoner and back to Sweden. (Get either slaves or experiment subjects, but if the Germans ever find out...)>Write-in
>>1371220>Try to not be seen at all! (Hard in his Gelatinious Form due to it's size!)Worst case scenario is that Claw gets busted, we have to turn him into the Germans and eventually a war between Sweden and Germany starts which will probably escalate and include China and America.
>>1371220>Try to not be seen at all! (Hard in his Gelatinious Form due to it's size!)Morning. Also sounds like a neat system qm. Let's save Germany.
anons sure you want to try and "ghost" it?
>>1371251Well it's either that, leave witnesses and probably start WW3 or kill everybody and probably start WW3 somImsay ghost it.
You decide to sneak onto the ship.You are now Claw!Your boat goes into the Baltic, and it's not too long until you see the merchant ship...Of course, you'll need to avoid them noticing you in order to get on...You are currently in your human form!Choose an action!>Stealthily approach the ship... Hopefully you can guide it right. (Agility DC: 3)>Try to look like your out, having some fun! They'll completely ignore you! Right? (Charisma DC: 4)>...Erh... Jump out of the boat and try to swim? (Swim DC: 3. Claw lacks the skill, meaning he could drown.)>...Idea. What if you looked like your boat just stopped working and you needed help? (Intelligence DC: 2)>Write-in
>>1371262>Try to look like your out, having some fun! They'll completely ignore you! Right? (Charisma DC: 4)
Claw's modifier is a +1 to Charisma, but because of being a "Natural Human" he has an additional +2 to it due to being in his human form.You'll be able to roll two dice anons. Proceed?
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1371270Alright. Proceed.
Roll me a 1d20 anons. You can roll two times.+2 modifier if Claw can look like he's having fun. Alone. And not approaching the ship.+1 if Claw can slightly regret being unable to absorb everything on the ship for sake of "stealth"+1 if Claw can try to look on the positives of this mission. Maybe it'll be fun?
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1371286
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>1371286
Critical SuccessYou of course, look like your having a awesome party, with the... Two beers you brought along! The crewmembers of the ship enviously look you on, as you have a RADICAL TIME BRO!Of course, you run out of beer extremely fast after CRUSHING THEM OVER YOUR HEAD LIKE A MAN!They eagerly however, invite you into their ship... And mention they have more beer.Yum.Actions>Accept the offer! Party and celebrate on their ship!>...What the hell are you doing? This will result in them knowing who you are, or worse! Decline!>Hell yeah! A place to eliminate the entire crew in one fell blow!>Write-In
>>1371304>Accept the offer! Party and celebrate on their ship!
You accept the offer, and get onto their ship... A few of the crew members go and get a shitload of beer and get ready to party...Of course, you need to find a way to LIVEN UP the party to keep anyone from suspecting anything weird!Actions>Break out your best dance moves! (Agility DC: 7.)>Challenge other crew members to BEER DRINKING CONTESTS! (Strength DC: 6. Lowered DC to 4 if you can find a way to cheat using your gelatinous powers.)>CHUG THE BEER! ALL OF IT! (Strength DC: 8. Claw will gain the respect of the crew and their trust if he can indeed chug ALL of the beer.)>Rampage? More like... BEERPAGE! Alright, that doesn't work, but you aren't just stopping at drinking the crew's beer... Drink the entire ship's supply of beer! (Strength DC: 13. Claw will become a legend and the crew will be in awe of this, and most likely ignore whatever you do save trying to take over the ship or killing people.)>Try to slip away... (Agility DC: 8)>Write-In
>>1371329>Try to slip away... (Agility DC: 8)
Waiting for one more choice anons
Roll me a 1d20 anons. You can roll twice.+2 if Claw can find a way to slip away from the party.+1 if Claw can be slightly disappointed in being unable to party.+1 if Claw can steal some food before leaving.
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>1371361
>>1371361Look for a bathroom, and by bathroom we mean an empty stairwell.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1371361Forgot to roll.
Do anons want to do a few of the bonuses? Or do you want to try and cover up your failed slip away by doing one of the other actions?
>>1371420Take some sausage that this German ship no doubt has.>I want to make new friends and maybe play warhammer with. This blows.
8+4=12Borderline Failure!You sneak away, but notice some people sort of noticing your abscence...You mention how you have to use the restroom... But you think the crew is keeping a special eye on you, and might notice if you use the restroom for a suspicious amount of time.Actions>Proceed to sneak on! (You'll have to do this in 5 turns, or the crew will get suspicious!)>...Try to do another action.>Everyone's in one place... Might as well attack!>Write-In
>>1371466>Proceed to sneak on! (You'll have to do this in 5 turns, or the crew will get suspicious!)
>>1371466What if we actually go to the stairwell and take a shit on it?
>>1371485That certainly wouldn't be out of Claws character
So I assume anons just want to proceed to sneak on?
>>1371466Fine, spend five turns then go to stairwell.>Proceed to sneak on! (You'll have to do this in 5 turns, or the crew will get suspicious!)>Spend those five drinking.
>>1371528No, what I'm saying is that you'll have to sneak through this ship and get out without attracting attention. All in five turns.
>>1371535. . Oh. Well alright then. Let's try it.
You slip away to try and sneak through the ship...Where do you head first anons?>Head below deck!>Investigate around the deck!>Try to sneak into the captain's quarters?>Write-In
>>1371545>Try to sneak into the captain's quarters?Kill the captain. Then we party more. Then we find out what she was hiding.
>>1371545>Try to sneak into the captain's quarters?>>1371555We don't want to molest anything here besides relevant documents. If a crew member goes missing or is found dead then it will piss off Germany, ecspecially if Claw is witnessed.
>>1371568They won't blame it on you if there's no evidence, keep in mind.
>>1371580I still wouldn't trust things to go right. If the captain of naval ship went missing then Germany would probably suspect us.
>>1371605The question is can they say anything and prove it.
You go to the captain's quarters...Roll me a 1d20, two rolls max anons.+2 if Claw can find a way to easily sneak around in his smallest gelatinous form.+2 if he can think about trying to reduce his mass to move around easier.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1371659
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>1371659
I can't write at the moment. Another anon please.
>>1371659If he makes a trail out of himself and keeps it to the corner wall, he can reduce his mass and pick it back up.Also didn't claw rape our entire cabinet once?
>>1371823Our cabinet no. All of our servants yes. I don't remember what exactly the circumstances were but I at least felt Claw was very worthy of pic related.
I'm finally fucking back from golfing, grilling a steak, and catching up on work.So anyways... I think I'm going to retcon the "Claw" incident since it's cringy, I don't want to be reminded of it, and instead we're just going to say that was a nightmare fueled by Renexizious drinking too much.But anyways...Claw sneaks through the close, tight walls and begins to get into the captain's room.. It's not really hard, the documents should be in your slimy grip shortly...MEANWHILE! In the D&D Dimension! Because Anons have been severely neglecting it!At a particular kobold village, in the Goldenvalley Mountains, with a draconic overlord who has a habit of bringing many exotic women and slaves to his lair...You are...Choose someone to be a HERO!>A pious little kobold who's taken the mantle of a priest to Tiamat, Jupiter, and Renexizious! (Unarmed, but gets one extra roll not going above +3!)>...A miner kobold who's on break in his clan's house! (You have a pickaxe!)>A lookout crossbowbold who's still getting used to his weapon! (You have a crossbow!)>A rather old kobold, who has memories of adventuring on the surface... And may or may not have a weapon or two from back then. (Shitty attributes but good weapon!)>Fuck you, no more "meanwhiles", let's just wrap the Claw thing up. (Go back to Claw, and fail this event. Which is bad.)
>>1374387>A pious little kobold who's taken the mantle of a priest to Tiamat, Jupiter, and Renexizious! (Unarmed, but gets one extra roll not going above +3!)The vicious kobold of righteous boxing!
You are now Kalak the Kobold of the clan of Stone!Right now, of course, there's been a bit of a problem... One of the few lookouts at the palisade reports Goblin Riders! On wolfback!Of course, that's terrifying... You've never gotten into a fight in your life! Neither have most of the other kobolds...Where's the gods when you need them?So of course, after the most practical rite of "draw sticks and hope for the best" you drew the shortest stick, and are now of course, in charge of dealing with this situation. You have little experience, almost no practical knowledge about how to fight goblins on wolfback, and only have your fists, and a hell of a lot of hope.Currently the Goblin Wolfriders will be here in three turns.Actions>Panic! Save yourself!>...Erh... Maybe you can prepare for the goblins? Somehow?>You'll try to talk to the goblins!>You can proselytize! You've been teaching yourself how to do it!>Maybe you should leave this to a professional? (Choose someone else!)>Write-In
>>1375209>...Erh... Maybe you can prepare for the goblins? Somehow?What are Kobalds good at again? Traps. Lots of traps.
The first thing that comes to you... Is traps!However, even though you've been appointed in charge of this... You'll have to convince everyone. Mostly because there's a lack of a unifying leader...Everyone gathered in the clan house is in debate trying to figure out what the best course of reason is...Due to this kobold lacking stats, you'll be rolling two 1d20 for everything!Actions>Try to declare this the will of Renexzious!>See about giving a convincing argument!>Just do it! You don't have time to argue!>Write-in
>>1375209>...Erh... Maybe you can prepare for the goblins? Somehow?Crossbows can be used from a distance or on a roof, a long enough distance for a Kobold to then run if need be.Also traps. Pits, spikes, logs and anything that is on fire or boiling thrown at the activating individual.>You can proselytize! You've been teaching yourself how to do it!Use this to encourage the Kobolds to work and fight, talking about how these weapons are from Ren and how he therefore trusts them to defend themselves. Throw in the whole, not disappointing your saintly dragon king, angle and thus motivate them to fight and prepare harder.
>>1375237>Try to declare this the will of Renexzious!We're going to Wreck the goblins so bad they will call us Tucker's
>>1375237>Try to declare this the will of Renexzious!>>1375254We can only hope. Luckily they are only goblins, still a threat but not exactly a adventuring party or something.
Roll me a 1d20. You get two rolls on this too.+3 if you can preach about the gods!+3 if you can come up with examples of traps to make!
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1375285Set up as many barricades as possible to make a mase out of the entrance. Add some murder holes, a few fire bomb tracks that can be sprung behind the goblins and pitfalls to cut off entry points. Make sure there is space for us to run around on the other side of the path of death."The gods have sent to us an enemy, one for us to prove our worth upon. We will honor this with a show of strength and cunning so devious and awe inspiring Renexizious shall bestow upon us the head of the goblin chief! To arms brothers and sisters! In the names of the gods! To arms!"
>>1375320Damn... I was gonna write a long speech to get a good bonus but nevermind
>>1375343You can't beat short and sweet. Just ask Abe.
Critical Success!By the end of the hour, you've set up so many traps, so many murderholes, so many firebombs, and so many pitfalls that it would make someone's headspin... At this point there's little way the goblins can get in without suffering horrific casualties...In fact, the Forgemaster himself has made a bronze cask FULL of sharp stuff, and explodes in a huge fireball! You've deemed it... "THE" Firebomb!This has given the kobolds knowledge about mechanics, plumbing, and they will permanently get a bonus on making traps and alchemy.Lots of traps.The first trap gets triggered by the ill-disciplined goblin riders who've foolishly went ahead... Only half a dozen. They hop over the barricades with little effort... But little do they know you have two traps in place...Actions>You've put an entire log up above in the ceiling! Send it down, and send the cowardly goblins rushing down into MORE TRAPS!>...Little do the fools know you've put so many murdeholes above, you'll pepper them with crossbows, slings, and sharp rocks! Open fire!>...MUAHAHAHA! DETONATE THE FIRE BOMB! (A little bit of over-kill.)>Write-in
>>1375370By the way, yes you can write-in your own traps.
>>1375370>...Little do the fools know you've put so many murdeholes above, you'll pepper them with crossbows, slings, and sharp rocks! Open fire!
>>1375370>...Little do the fools know you've put so many murderholes above, you'll pepper them with crossbows, slings, and sharp rocks! Open fire!
Roll me a 1d20 anons. Three rolls allowed.+2 if you can encourage the kobolds with their go's!
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>1375663
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>1375663
Rolled 17 (1d20)Back anons!16The goblin riders get cut down on mass, but while your crossbowbolds reload, another wave of goblin riders rush in going straight down...And into a rather nasty spike pit trap.Ignore my roll.
Rolled 18 (1d20)17The goblins avoid the trap, and get out of range of your crossbowbolds... Though they are running towards a particularly large firebomb...Ignore my roll.
The riders even avoid this, and eventually are dangerously close to the clan houses...At this point, they come into the civilian crossbow ranges...Roll me a single 1d20 to see if your crossbows can hit!+2 if you can try to think of proper prayers to your gods and overlord to assist!+1 if Kalak can try to encourage the civilian crossbows to fight!
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1376235>Goblins avoiding our traps
>nat 20 with a Angry pepe attached to itNice
Shit man. Right it's like we're the Kobolds and QM is Renexzious. He must be busy doing work or getting drunk off of scotch while playing guild 2 or something
>>1376734That or a bunch of vanu MAX's gathered around his ass and are running a zealot overdrive train on his posting hole.
>>1376734I've been doing some last-minute work anons.Now...Critical Success!Your civilian crossbows cut the goblin riders down, leaving none alive! A surprising amount of the civilians have gotten headshots, and the few missed crossbow shots fly back into the other riders...At this point, there's just one final wave left...Roll me a 1d20 anons. Two rolls allowed.
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1377604
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1377604
18The rest of the goblins get crushed by a log falling from the ceiling, landing on their mounts... The survivors get finished off by crossbows...At this point, you've successfully defended the tribe!Choose something for Kalak to progress down!>Crossbowbold Commander!>Chieftain!>High Priest!>Adventurer!>Write-In
Kalak is becoming a high priest of the tribe!Meanwhile, as Claw...You slip through the slim hallways and eventually get to what you think is the captain's room...Though it seems the captain is inside, smoking...Hm.Actions>Try to stealthily lockpick the door with your slime claws? (Agility DC: 9, because it's fucking slime.)>Try to slip under the door inside... (Agility DC: 4)>...Break through the door! (Strength: 6 DC)>...Find a place to hide until the captain leaves? (Agility DC: 8)>Write-In
>>1377791>Try to slip under the door inside... (Agility DC: 4)Let's eat this Drow bitch.
Roll me a 1d20 three times anons.+2 if you can think about what to do to the drow inside!+2 if you can try to hide your body slipping under the door...
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1377906
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1377906
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1377906Just enter as a long strip of film sliding from the doorframe along the wall and if possible up the ceiling.From there we could possibly drop onto her head, raid the quarters while we melt her down, and run back to the party.
17+4=21Good Success!You of course, enter slowly... You see the captain on what seems to be the phone, and seems male."Alright, alright mother... That's the entire manifest. Yes, I did buy you those zucchini you liked."He seems to be talking to his mother on the phone, and is sitting on the desk, clearly distracted."No mom, I don't plan on marrying any time soon... I can do things you know... I don't want to be the third husband of some... You know, priestess."You slowly slip into the room and he rolls his comfortable chair around..."Mom, come on. I know it's not very traditional... Yes mom, I know I can get fed to the spiders for heresy..."He gives a sigh as you finally get into the room..."Mom, just because your a priestess AND my mother doesn't mean you can rule my life! And no, this isn't a phase... But uh... Did you like the basket I sent home to you? Yeah, the one full of fruits from the surface... Oh, really? You loved them? Awesome... Hey, can you tell Berumaria I said hi? Yeah, I know she's not really eligible for my station... Please though? Just in case she changes her mind?"You are ready to strike the male Drow captain...Actions>Absorb him! (Agility DC: 8)>...Try to stealthily get a document? (Agility DC: 10)>...See about shapeshifting and posing as a crew member? (Charisma DC: 6)>Write-In
>>1378039>Absorb him! (Agility DC: 8)We can still be stealthy if we do this right.
>>1378047Lethally digest him or just stealthily absorb him to take him prisoner?
>>1378075I was thinking lethal but he seems like enough of a bitch to get information out of, can we take him prisoner and vanish off the ship?
>>1378098Sure. It'll increase the DC by 1 however to take him non-lethally and might make noise.
>>1378113As long as we take the priestesses welp captive. Lets do it anons!
Roll me a 1d20 twice anons.+2 if you can stealthily absorb him without him even noticing!+2 if you can mention the punishment for making any noise, and mention what you can do to him! And also punish him a bit for even struggling.+1 if you can slightly terrify him.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>1378240
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>1378240If you make noise, I will envelope your vocal cords. Then crawl up every single orifice.
Anons, you'll have to think of a way to stealthily absorb him and terrify him in order to pass.
>>1378596I feel like putting slime down his throat will shut him up and scare the shit out of him at the same time.
>>1378596Quickly dropping on top of his head from the ceiling gives us a near perfect position for control.
You decide to drop ontop of his head and absorb him...You suck up to the ceiling, getting most of your mass above him, and suddenly striking down... To the naked eye, it seems like nothing has changed, really... No signs of movement, just a loud CLANG...And a very, very startled captain who's just been absorbed into you...Roll me a 1d20 three times to see if Claw accidently leaves any evidence behind.+2 if Claw can think about how to make this room practically spotless without any slime anywhere, etc...+2 if Claw can of course, find a way to subtly steal documents without leaving any incriminating evidence or slime.+1 if Claw can also find a way to sort of "silence" the room while he searches intensely.+1 if Claw can continue to scare the captain drow.
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>1378901
>>1378901Have the crows arms under our grasp pick up the documents we want. And just keep telling him of how we will melt his colon if he even tries to make a sound.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1378901
>>1378938Crow's Arm?What's that?
>>1379018Drows arms. I mean use his arms in the similar way you would play "stop hitting yourself with someone.
You of course, have HIM pick up the documents... It's not too long before you decide to slip out...Roll me a 1d20 twice anons, to see if you can sneak out without alerting anyone...+2 if you can once again, avoid making any noise or leaving any slime behind.
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1379523Strip the man down to his stockings or socks. Then use those to walk/creep around. No slime, no sound. Just us moving a living body off the ship.
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>1379523I'll save the day
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1379658Come on man!
Ooh. A double critical failure?Well... If anons can try to prevent whatever mishap is about to happen, I may soften the affects.And yes, you have to guess.
>>1379689Grrrr. When we go out the door either someone will be there or were going to leave behind enough of a trail to be found easily, as well as an alarm sounding off alerting the ship to our presence on board. The captive may even try to escape. Finally, something Gnomish.
>>1379689A Drow version of Arnold Schawrzenegger comes out duel wielding flame throwers with super fire that also has a type of chemical agent that causes suffocation. He burns us very badly and kills the Drow captain.
You begin to leave...Then that's when the phone begins to ring inside you... Damn, someone's calling...Then, there's a knock on the door, which opens...And one of the crew members, apparently having an arrangement with the captain, notices you very, very clearly."What the hell?" He says...Shit.Actions>...Absorb the crewman! He's a witness! (Lethally, or Non-Lethally.>...Try to convince him to look the other way?>Ignore him and answer the phone?>THIS IS PERFECTLY NORMAL! Just uh, have the Drow Captain do... Captain things. He isn't absorbed, no, no...>Write-In
>>1379828>>1379828>...Absorb the crewman! He's a witness! (Lethally, or Non-Lethally.What ever happened to Claws concubines and his kids?
>>1379828>...Absorb the crewman! He's a witness! (Lethally, or Non-Lethally.Lethally.
>>1379834Lethally anon?Too tired to answer, sorry about the slow post times.
Roll me a 1d20 three times anons.+2 if you can find a way to absorb the crewman!+2 if you can find a way to lethally kill the crewman! (+1 if you can use this to terrify the Drow Captain if you can make it brutal!)
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1379888
I swear to Christ and kek.
I think I'm about to crash. Sorry for the 1 guys
Critical Failure!You of course, lunge to absorb the crewman, but end up struggling to squeeze through the small doorway... However, the crewman begins to run off, and yells about "a monster below decks!"Actions>Chase after him!>Hide!>...Come up with a way to take him down lethally from a distance...>Try to convince him to come back?>Write-In
>>1379912>Write-In: Fucking run!We are escaping with the Drow prince captive.
>>1379935May as well. Hopefully the Drow and Germans just continue thinking it was a monster.
You decide to BOOK IT!Roll me a 1d20 with only two rolls to see if you can get out of here!+2 if you can find a way to shut up the crewman! (+1 if you can find a way to absorb him lethally on your way out!)+1 if you can find a way to go FASTER in these tight hallways!
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1380645
>>1380645Roll him the fuck over! REEEE!
You of coursr, decide to become spherical and ROLL!The guy runs from the giant ball of slime which is going quite fast... You might even be able to nom him before anyone hears his yells for help.Roll me a 1d20 twice to see of human is indeed nominees.+2 if you can go even faster.+2 if you can think about how to kill this human.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1380731
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1380731
Do anons want to do the bonuses?
>>1381034Try to pop out his eyes
>>1381034Hurl ourselves towards him, flinging gobs of ourself at him as we charge after him. Then picking those up as we move along and make our escape. If we run him over, pull him into ourselves and keep moving, filling his lungs with our slime so he can't breathe.
6+4=10Borderline Success!Sorry about the time it took me to get back, I've been working on getting some more business cards, golfing, etc.Basically I've been fucking busy and I've had jack shit time to actually do /qst/. It'll probably get better in a few days...You of course, roll and fling gobs of slime and gelatin at him, sticking him to the ground... You eventually pick him up partially, with his upper body sticking out... Meaning he's still yelling for help. Luckily though, being in a moving ball of gelatin tends to muffle screaming just from him yelling the wrong way... And hitting his head on the ceiling and floor.This means you have a bit more time until the crew notices...What the hell is your plan anyways? You've sort of run into a problem... You kind of need to get through the decks to get out. And there's a party there.Fuck.You have a limited amount of time before the crew thinks the bathroom visit is a bit "too long"Actions>Look into just rushing out! (Very high chance of detection. Very fast.)>...Maybe you can take your time to sneak out... (High chance of detection. Slow.)>...Slip to the restrooms. Though it might be a bit hard to explain why the captain and some crewman is in there. Or a gelatinious slime wolf. (Hard to do... But comedic?)>Write-In
>>1383159>Look into just rushing out! (Very high chance of detection. Very fast.)Business before pleasure. Also was the emperor right about playing golf being good when doing business?
>>1383159>Look into just rushing out! (Very high chance of detection. Very fast.)
Back anons. I'm going to archive this thread in a little while.Roll me a 1d20 once to see if you can succesfully rush out without being detected.+1 if you can find a way to kill the crewman without leaving his body or any evidence behind.+1 if you can try to make a giant gelatinious wolf less conspicious.
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>1384779
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1384779Unless we start sliming our way through vents I don't see how we will start to be less conspicuous. As for killing the crew man. Either choke him to death or sever his head. Or fill his skull with our gelatin until it explodes.
Rolled 14 (1d20)13+2=15Border CheckRoll me a 1d20 anons and I'll roll you a 1d20.
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1385057The more that I think about it, I think we should at least consider investing time in the Warhammer world, particularly Lustria.https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qvDFfmUzFPs
3Amazing Failure!Of course, you slime your way out of ventilation, and get onto the deck... That's of course, when the crewman's head explodes from the amount of gelatin being filled in it, and it's audiable enough the crew, amidst it's party takes a look at the large, gelatinious wolf who just killed one of their crew members and has their captain hostage...Actions>...Erh... Come up with an excuse? (Charisma DC: 15)>...Maybe you should just... "Take care of" the crew. Permanently.>Fuck, fuck, fuck... Jump into your boat and take off! (Might severely hurt Claw and will alert the Germans to Claw's activity.)>Write-In
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>1384779>...Maybe you should just... "Take care of" the crew. Permanently.Remember, no globalist.
>>1385249Ignore the roll, don't even know how that got in the options field.
>>1385178>Fuck, fuck, fuck... Jump into your boat and take off! (Might severely hurt Claw and will alert the Germans to Claw's activity.)In retrospect we should've just rolled for a black ops team to get the info on the ship.
I'll roll in 15 mins if anons can't decide.
Rolled 2 (1d2)Rolling.1=Take care of the crew.2=Flee!
Rolled 3 (1d20)You decide to of course, flee.Ignore my roll, and roll me a 1d20 anons. Twice please.+1 if you can find a way to prevent dissolution from any contact with the water.
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1385303This should be easy
17Good Success!You avoid damaging your body as you flee onto a boat, and quickly flee the scene...You eventually get back and Charlemagne takes to interrogating the captain...Meanwhile, as Renexizious...You've of course, been tending to Chrysoula who's suffering quite a bit... Elizabeth of course, hasn't exactly kept in contact with you, being busy in England and still quite steamed towards you...Of course, your headmates seem to want to get out and talk to people, and be "social".Great.However, you sort of want to go out, and get some work done...Hm.>Look into being social, making some friendships, that sort of thing... (Personal Action)>...You should get something done for your country. (National Action)>...You need to get Elizabeth less pissed at you.>...Spend more time taking care of Chrysoula.>Write-in
>>1385381Let's make that Dragon mutagen for Charlemagne
>>1385381>...You need to get Elizabeth less pissed at you.I have a plan. It involves the children.
You decide to make the dragon mutagen and get Liz a bit less pissed at you...The dragon mutagen itself is a bit unstable due to recent mutations in your body... But it'll hopefully work out.Right?Right.What's the worst that could happen?...We turn our son into a mentally handicapped cat.Stop. It's not that unstable....Well, it's certain to have strange affects. I'd just wager being cautious.Actions>Don't do it. It's not a good idea.>Give your son a cautious dose of the dragon mutagen. (Low chance of mutation, but much weaker and will get upgrades very slowly.)>Give your son a fair dose of the dragon mutagen. (Moderate chance of mutation, and moderate strength along with slow upgrades.)>Give your son a strong dose of the dragon mtuagen. (High chance of mutation, and high strength with normal upgrade times... May injure your son.)>Give your son a VERY strong dose. (Certain Mutation. Much more strength than usual with above average upgrade times... But almost certain to injure your son heavily.>Write-in
>>1385827>Write-In: Can we science this shit for a more optimal dosage?
>>1385934Doing SCIENCE may or may not fuck up the mutagen or your son.
>>1385956>Give your son a fair dose of the dragon mutagen. (Moderate chance of mutation, and moderate strength along with slow upgrades.)The mutagen is probably excessively strong at this point.
>>1385827Do we have a sample of the mutagen before we got stuff like chaos mutations. Or can we get a sample of DNA from our mother, Lorriana or any other dragons we know who don't have any mutations like us or Liz.
>>1386260You do not, and having your mother or Lorriana or any other dragon do this could have severe effects.
>>1386260The chaos mutations aren't really the problem.The problem is that our entire genetic structure has changed so much recently and we are using a recipe from before then. Even ignoring that, the fact is that the more unstable the sample, the more unstable the product.Seeing as we've stained our soul and body so thoroughly at this point, I know what you mean. It would be nice if we could keep from exposing the children from before we get chaos stuff from being corrupted.
So do anons want to give Charlemagne a fair dose of the dragon mutagen? Going ahead in 10 mins
>>1386409Giving him a fair dosage seems like the best option.
You decide to give your son a moderate dosage...Roll me a 1d100 anons. One roll please.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>1386414
You of course, go to give your son the mutagen... The serum seems a bit more of a... Blue, rather then a nice red...You eventually knock on his room's door, and open up to see him... After some explanation, he seems... Nervous, actually. He might be getting second thoughts.Actions>...Try to calm Charlemagne. He shouldn't be getting cold feet...>...Let him decide on his own.>...Try to get him to think twice about actually doing this.>Write-In
>>1386434>...Let him decide on his own.Does this mean Charlemagne will join the superior white sub-species?
>>1386434>Write-InGive him the serum. Not inject it I mean just hand him it. Assuming that it is stable enough to store then he can just keep it and think it over or use it when shit hits the fan.>>1386438That or Tenzeetch has a hand in this...knowing him he has an entire arm stuck in there...
>>1386438>>1386477I think it's the same thing so these.
You decide to of course, let him decide on his own... He goes back into his room to decide.You begin to however, decide on how to get Elizabeth back,..Actions>Visit her and do something special for her...>...Look into doing something special for her when she gets home.>Look into doing something with the kids?>...Maybe you should look into getting her another dog?>Write-In
>>1386659>Look into doing something with the kids?Elsisif, Aulus and any other younglings we have we have
>>1386703Would you like to include your half-elven son as well?
All of the children we had with Elizabeth. Gather them up we're doing a family project.
>>1386733So you want to gather up all of Elizabeth's kids? Every single one? Or just the newest batch?
>>1386744As long as they are not governing a nation and NEED to be somewhere else. Gather them.
I plan to have them sing the Agincourt Carol when she returns. With the only change being replacing "king" with Queen.
You of course, go to gather up Eslif, Aulus, Odah, Charlemagne, and Renexizia...As you go to Elslif's room, you open the door to her room...It seems a bit different... Did Elizabeth or Elslif order the slaves to paint it... Pink?And of course, the books you gave her to study for when she goes to school are... In a corner, with webs covering them. She hasn't even touched them.The only other thing you notice is plenty of stuffed animals, Elslif herself seems to be drinking tea on the bed. Her mother would have a fit...However, her eyes go large at seeing you, and she gets her classic over-eager smile at seeing you."Daddy!""Hi Elsl-"She puts the tea down on a nightstand, rushes towards you to give a high-velocity hug. You of course, pick her up for the hug."...So, can you come with me?""Where are we going? Are we going to go on an adventurer?" She seems very eager to go with you, and happy..."...Well..."Actions>...Sorry, but no adventuring for today...>...You know, I did say I would make up not making snow dragons with you... Why don't we do that? (Increase Elslif's happiness and opinion of you!)>...We'll be doing an adventure. You'll love it.>Write-In
>>1386774>Write-In: it's a family project and you're going to love it. . Why are your books in a corner!?
"Well, it's a family project and you're going to love it... But why are your books in a corner, Elslif?""They're boring.... But it's not like I'm completely ignoring them!""Really now? Cobwebs growing over it... Seriously, there's a spider living there probably.""Yeah! It's cool!"Great.Actions.>Nevermind this, this isn't important...>...Elslif, you need to actually study for your schooling... You'll be going in a few months like Aulus.>...Spiders are kind of cool. I guess your excused.>...Your daughter is not getting attached to spiders. Make an example out of the spider.>Write-In
>>1386801>...Elslif, you need to actually study for your schooling... You'll be going in a few months like Aulus.We don't get to not be a father. We are not nigger dragons.
You of course go to convince her to study. She naturally seems defiant....What do?> Bribe her ?> Appeal to her love of you!> Convince her?> Threaten her.> Write in
>>1386801>...Elslif, you need to actually study for your schooling... You'll be going in a few months like Aulus.
>>1386891> Convince her? :You need to, because I want you to grow up strong and have a happy life, and if you don't.> Threaten her. : I will have you pick a switch. No daughter of mine is going to be a vapid airhead.
>>1386891> Convince her?> Bribe her ?Tell her that for every A that she gets, we'll give her a tarantula or some other presents she would like that isn't over the top.
Roll me a 1d20 twice to see if she's convinced enough to work.+2 for good father moments
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1387048
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1387048
Do anons want to hide their fail via trying to be a caring dad?
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>1387204Head pats. The universal trick of being a good anything.Failing that put her on our lap and talk. Shit works a charm.
Let's hope it works. I dont like hitting our brood but if we have to we'll administer the spankings.
6+2=8Failure!You give her a headpat, and sit her on your lap to talk to her on the bed..."So, talk to me. Why don't you want to study?""It's boring... I wanna do other stuff besides read.""Really now?""Yeah! Besides, I'm a dragon! Why do I have to care about math and reading and stuff...""Because it'll be important in your future. Come on, what do you want to be when you grow up?""I wanna be like you dad!" She says, cheerfully and optimistically."Well, in order to get there you have to study hard, work hard...""That's boring though... Besides, I don't need math to be awesome! I wanna be huge! Cool!"She gives you a sweet, gentle innocent hug."Like you!"Actions>...Listen, can you please just read a few pages? For me?>...Thanks Elslif... Your just a kid... I guess you don't have to study for now.>...Do you want me to tell your mom that you haven't been studying?>Elslif, this is important and unless you want to be in very big trouble, get to work.>Give Elslif some discipline. Ground her or worse.>Write-In
>>1387383>Write-In"Trust me, my size is something I don't make as much use of as it seems.I run a nation. I am a general, a educator, scientist, industrialist, spy and so many other things. For all these I must be smart, wise and logical beyond my years.The only time I use my size is fighting. How much fighting do I actually do? A ton but that is because I can, not because it is fun or awesome.It hurts, being shot, bombed, poisoned, cut, stabbed, pierced and otherwise injured. I would never wish that on my child.Anyhow, I became this big by chance and I doubt that you will get that lucky."
>>1387396This, if the dice will it doesn't work, apologize and use the belt.
Roll me a 1d20 twice anons.+1 if you can of course, downplay your size further.+1 if you can mention how she'll be as big as her mom and dad one day. Maybe.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1387430
18Amazing Success!After telling her a bit why she should focus on studying, she agrees on one sole condition.That the two of you have some personal time together.Actions>Fine, you can spend time with Elslif later.>Decline...>Write In
>>1387516>Fine, you can spend time with Elslif later.You're not QM but okay
>>1387516>Fine, you can spend time with Elslif later.You probably should add a trip to your ID.
>>1387542Sorry about the trip, I'm out doing business with American film students with colored fucking hair. Why is this a thing?You of course agree, and you leave to get Renexizia on board...This of course, results in you going into her room...As you open the door, you see a scene of absolute destruction. Mostly terrified artists, destroyed abstract paintings laying across the floor, and a surprisingly angry Renexizia ripping paintings in half."THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR SHITT FUCKING PAINTINGS WHICH YOU CAN SHOVE UP YOUR FUCKING ASS Y-"She turns around to see you enter, and visibly calms down."Oh, hi dad! Did you need something?""Erh... Did I interpretation something? ""...Just getting out some anger, dad."You notice the artists flee and you of course, take a seat on the bed... Which feels like she's sleeping on gold and gems.Actions >I need you to help cheer up your mother...>What are you so frustrated about?>...Could you not terrify artists please?>Write In
>>1388038>What are you so frustrated about?
>>1388038>What are you so frustrated about?I blame the cosmetics industry
>>1388131>>1388046these actions and no, I blame the communist.
"Renexizia, why are you so frustrated?""Well... I'm just dealing with some girl things dad. You know.""Like?""Well, these stupid professors at an American college have refused my goddamned application for mechanical sciences and they think I'll be a "menace" on their campus. As if!""To be fair, you have a rather... Destructive personality.""Only a little...""Why do you even want to go to college? It's not really your personality.""Well... Honestly, I couldn't really care too much about the degrees or whatever. But there's this cute guy there, part of a rock and roll band and is a biker... He's really cute, you know? In that sort of "masculine biker" type.""...You like bikers?""Cute ones, yeah... I bet he's soft at heart... I mean, they're pretty cool dad! And also, he has this really awesome mustache and tattoos..."Hey, she's interested in men. Nice."So you literally want to go to a college so you can be with a guy?""I know, it's a bad idea, waste of money, yadadada... But it'd be fun! Besides, it's my own money. I stole. From France. So I can spend it on stupid things, like cute boys, worthless degrees, and buttered rib-eye medium rare steak.""...Why that?""...I kind of found out steak is AMAZING! I mean, I kind of was put off by the blood, but it's great! Especially with garlic and butter...""That's... Great.""...Anyways, I can handle it dad, I'm just really frustrated with stupid mortals trying to stone-wall me..."Actions>...Honestly, I don't really think you should go. It's a bad idea, a waste of money, etc.>...Does the human know your a dragon?>...How did you even hear about the guy?>...It's your money, I guess.>...I'm all for it honey. Do you want some help?>You shouldn't be interested in guys like that, Renexizia.>Write-In
>>1388274>...Honestly, I don't really think you should go. It's a bad idea, a waste of money, etc.>...How did you even hear about the guysigh... I see Renexizia is still the most troublesome and unreasonable of the cast.
>>1388274>Write-In"As much as I may disagree with your taste in men, or even you having a taste in men, I can't stop you from pursuing this man. But I would warn you that most people are not comfortable with inter-species relationships and that you may very well be setting yourself up for failure.However, I will quite happily let you go to america for an education, assuming you visit every so often and return for the holidays. I imagine if I pressure Victor he can get you into that college, assuming I can't.Also, you have a point when it comes to your money: you may chose to spend it as you wish but I would like to think you might heed any warnings or advice I give."
"How did you even hear about this guy?""Eeeh... I kind of was adventuring a bit in America and ran into him. I thought it was interesting... I mean, I also never had a boyfriend before...""Yeah... Well, you have a point when it comes to your money, and you can choose to spend it as you wish, but please heed my warnings... It's a really bad idea and a waste of money.""Dad, I have plenty of money. Besides, I'll probably just sneak into the campus so it's free.""...What if they catch you or something?""...Did you forget I'm a dragon? I don't really think anyone's going to care if I'm taking free classes."You sigh... She's almost certain to get into trouble.Actions>...I love you too, Renexizia, I guess you can go. Have fun, alright? And don't burn down a college.>...Just make sure to keep your destruction limited to the liberal arts.>...If your mother hears this, she'd be quite angry. Are you really sure you want to go?>Listen, please don't go. It's a fucking terrible idea.>...Renexizia, can you help me with your mother firstly?>Write-in
>>1388345>Renexizia, you are my daughter and are of a relatively mature age but I can't just let you do this with no opposition from me whatsoever. You must learn that there are consequences for actions that you do, ecspecially if they're outside of my realm. Things we can do.1. Kill the college biker guy2. Find someone probably more suitable3. Get Renexizia to "adventure" in D&D to her hearts content something happens like being captured by dragon hunters or meeting an elder dragon who knocks some sense into her
>>1388345>Write-in"Look, I have no problem with the guy, you could do far worse in all honesty.However I am quite aware that the Americans wouldn't be open to what you are proposing and that it would end badly for me and Victor.Even ignoring that your mother would most likely not like you leaving us but I know that isn't a fair point, considering she gets like that if you go out of her sight, let along across an ocean...Point is, I am against it but I wouldn't ever think of forcing you to listen to me over an issue as small as this and if you do actually decide to go and end up having a rampage...try to not kill anyone and try to not burn anything down..."
"Renexizia, your my daughter and are of a mature age, but I can't just let you do this. There's consequences for the actions you do, alright? Just please don't have a rampage and kill anyone or set anything on fire.""Dad, come on... Stop worrying about me, I'm practically an adult.""Renexizia...""Besides, I promise to not do anything TOO destructive. I won't burn down anything, and I won't kill anyone, ok?""...Alright...""Thank you... Oh, hey dad?""Yeah?""...I was kind of wondering... Do you remember the guard mom put to watch over me when I was young? Like... A hatchling?""...Wasn't he Norwegian?""Yeah... I erh... Do you remember his name?"Actions>...No, I'm sorry, I don't...>...I think I do, actually. (If you can actually remember his name, she'll have a slightly higher opinion of you!)>...Why do you care about him?>Write-in
>>1388426brb gonna spend an hour or two looking through the archivesBtw ask her why she wants to know.
>>1388426>...No, I'm sorry, I don't...
>>1388431I think you'll have time. But hurry.
His name is Haroldr. Renexizia became friends with him near the beginning of thread 35 when she hatched.
>>1388426Tell Renexizia that his name was Haroldr and ask her why she's interested.
"...I think his name was Haroldr?""Oh, right, right! Thank's dad, I just remembered." She seems quite grateful for you telling her."Why did you want to know?""Well... Mostly because I sort of miss him. He was the first person I knew... I kind of ditched him in Paris... I just kind of wonder if he's alright, I guess."She seems to have slightly lost her jubilant and irresponsible personality, and seems a bit more serious at actually talking about Haroldr."Really?""Well... He was terrified you'd be angry at him for sort of letting me do whatever... I think I might actually see if he's alright."Actions>Do whatever you want...>(Shrewd Mind)You know... You'd rather her not waste all that money, leave you for a while, and most likely cause diplomatic relations. Maybe you can convince her to seek a relationship with this guard? (Charisma DC: 8)>Well, I think it's great that your going to go back for someone you know.>...Honestly, I would kill him from the shit you pulled.>...I don't get why my subjects are so terrified of me all the damned time. I'm not that unresonable.>Write-In
>>1388470>(Shrewd Mind)You know... You'd rather her not waste all that money, leave you for a while, and most likely cause diplomatic relations. Maybe you can convince her to seek a relationship with this guard? (Charisma DC: 8)
So do anons want to do shrewd mind? One more vote.
Roll me a 1d20 twice anons.+2 if you can shill for looking into a relationship with Haroldr.+1 if you can mention how an honest soldier of the Swedish Army is most likely far more attractive/better then a biker?
Rolled 8 + 1 (1d20 + 1)>>1388544>Bikers? They're only people who are trying to compensate for something like bad looks. Soldiers on the other hand are soldiers because they're handsome, intelligent and most importantly tough.Please be a 15 or above
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1388544
Right now it's a borderline success. If you can give her some more reasons to be interested in Haroldr it'll bump up to a normal success.
>>1388579>Haroldr is much closer to home and I'm sure he can be persuaded to accept things like adventures much better then some biker punk. He's trained to survive in inhospitable conditions, use any weapons at his disposal and he knows the quickest way to find an objective like shiny Gold or gleaming Gems.
You of course, give her a rather convincing argument to maybe look into Haroldr...She seems a bit... Well, startled."That's... Dad, that's kind of weird.""Well... Why?""I mean... He's seen me when I hatched... I mean, that'd... That's kind of weird.""Come on, he's a respectable young man."She seems to certainly be considering it, but finds this more than a little strange."Come on, look into him a little. Maybe you'll like him.""...I-I don't know... I don't even know how he's supposed to approach me dad.""Well, ask your mother for help. She's good at... People things.""Dad... She's good at it because guys can't help but stare at her bre-""I know full well.""Dad, it's literally a running joke by the guards to call her... "Misses Jigglytits", and in case you can't tell I don't exactly have them. The "things" you know."Some part of you thanks God and Jupiter for this mercy."Well, come on. Why don't you ask him out?""Dad, that's not how courtship works. He has to ask me out... I mean, that's what mom taught me. Or said, at least. Then again, she gets hundreds of cards asking her out to prom or dinner, or stuff like that. I don't even know if he's interested in me."Actions>...Listen, your a thirty-story dragon with a... Interesting personality. He'll be interested, ok?>...I'll take care of it sweetie, don't worry about it.>...Listen, I'm leaving that to your mom. She can help you. When she gets back.>...What the fuck do the guards call your Elizabeth? Make a mental note to get rid of that nickname they have for your Elizabeth...>Nevermind then... This was a bad idea.>Write-In
>>1388608>...Listen, your a thirty-story dragon with a... Interesting personality. He'll be interested, ok?>...I'll take care of it sweetie, don't worry about it.We should probably give Haroldr a Half-Dragon mutagen like we did with our dad so that he doesn't die.
"Sweetie, your a thirty-story dragon with an... Interesting personality. He'll be interested, ok? And I'll take care of it sweetie, don't worry about it.""Oh, thanks dad... Really, thanks. I hope it goes well...""Yeah... Are you actually interested in Haroldr though?""Well... I don't really remember him being as cute as the biker...""Yeah...""So uh, dad? How are you going to...""Deal with Haroldr? Oh, it'll be easy..."Your headmates decide to chipper in....I think we should probably look into a good old-fashioned noble or something. I don't really like the idea of letting a commoner court her.Eeeh... Not really pragmatic, doesn't get us far... But I mean she'd love us for helping her.WHY THE FUCK DON'T WE JUST LET HER MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS?...Because we're her father?WELL SHE DOES STUPID SHIT AND SHE NEEDS TO LEARN FROM IT, IT'S NOT REALLY GOING TO FUCKING HELP ANYONE IF SHE DOESN'T LEARN FROM HER MISTAKES. BESIDES, I'D GET A FUCKING GREAT LAUGH AT HER TERRIFYING A COLLEGE LIKE THE BUNCH OF FAGGOTS THEY ARE....Honestly, college is a fucking joke, too many kids go there trying to get liberal arts degrees and shit, and nothing actually useful...Anyways, what's the plan?Actions>...Well, we need to find him. He's in paris, correct? That's not too far. (Take a trip to Paris for a while.)>...Eh. Let Renexizia handle this on her own.>...I was planning on making Liz really happy with us though.>Write-in
>>1388629>...Well, we need to find him. He's in paris, correct? That's not too far. (Take a trip to Paris for a while.)We are not sending her to a degenerate brainwashing facility in a country being subverted by (((them)))
You decide to go and try to find him... By flying to Paris!It doesn't take you too long, only a few hours... You land outside by Versalies, and head into Paris...Paris itself is a cesspool of anti-Swedish thought, as you pass through multiple Swedish flag burning, protests, and hear a couple of gunshots in the distance... Tensions here are boiling over to borderline revolutionary tensions... You swear that out of the shadows that something watches you as well, skittering off when you look for a bit too long. Even the architecture and buildings have begun to feel a bit... Decrepit. Clearly a lack of maintenance due to the tensions.It doesn't take you too long to find where Haroldr's commanding officer is. You head to the barracks...After introducing yourself to the sergeant and impressing him a bit, the sergeant mentions to you that Korpral (Which is his rank in the army, equivalent to the American Corporal.) Haroldr is apparently in charge of a checkpoint at the Louvre...Hm.You need to figure out how to approach this with Haroldr...Actions>...Intimidate him and terrify him. He thinks your probably pissed off at him.>...Maybe you can convince him to come with you.>Look into bribing him?>...Kidnap him for your daughter?>Write-In
>>1388652>...Maybe you can convince him to come with you.We should come back here some day.
You of course, decide to convince him...So of course, you head up to his posting, and eventually head up to him like a normal tourist..."Hi. Can I see some ID?""...I don't really think you have to, Korpral Haroldr. Now, I need to talk to you about something. In private.""...Excuse me, but do I know you?""I think you know me and my family very well, especially my daughter.""I'm... Sorry? Did I off-"A startling realization comes over him as he follows you around a corner."I erh... I'm not responsible in the slightest for your daughter being a marauder, eating part of the Louvre, some of the Eiffel Tower, and other things, alright?""Whatever... I need to talk to you about my daughter about something."He seems quite nervous, and certainly just seems to have a aura of "oh fuck my life" around him."Well... I sort of... Goddamn it, I need you to be my daughter's boyfriend.""...What.""Listen, you aren't the first choice... Honestly, I'd prefer someone else. But the only other person she wants is a biker... A fucking biker."He seems stunned."...What.""Yeah... Can you do that?"He puts his hands over his face, just for a second, and you can feel him go from "fuck my life" to "I want to physically and mentally die""Fuck you, fuck this planet, fuck this empire, fuck me, and fuck Gott for messing with me like this. I'm not fucking dealing with any more of this fucking bullshit, for fuck's sake. I goddamn fucking remember what the fuck she does, and I'm not fucking going back. I'm not going to be fucking crushed, ignored, bathed in butter, or ANYTHING fucking like that, I've fucking learned my goddamned lesson from working with your daughter, and I'm fucking content right here WITHOUT dating a fucking dragon who has a fucking problem with butter, artwork, and eating things, and I'm not fucking getting involved with your batshit insane family, and I'm not getting involved with any fucking thing that involves dragons, because I feel like fucking retiring without dying for fuck's sake! The fact of the matter is, is that I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING DO IT!""...That's a... Lot of pent up anger.""Oh, you have no idea! When she took me with her, she destroyed everything she touched! I'm not going to even consider this, and I just consider this to be a sick joke on your part.""I thought you liked her? As a friend at least.""She might be friendly and nice at first, but every time I have dealt with her, I get severely injured, left behind in a foreign country, nearly fired from my position, or end up with criminal charges!""...Erh..."He seems very, very determined to not deal with your daughter, your crazy family, or anything like that. He seems to be a normal, sane human being, who just wants to remain a sane human being and do sane human things.Like a boring human being.Continued
Actions>Fine, he's not wanting to go out with your daughter. Let him be.>...Force him to go out with her.>...Convince him. You haven't even given him one argument.>...Listen, please? I don't want her to go out with a biker...>...How dare he say this about your daughter...>...Honestly, I don't even blame you.>Write-In (Arguments get a bonus)
>>1388695>Write-In (Arguments get a bonus)>Of course it was a horrible time, after all I understand not wanting to be around such a distractive child. Oh wait, that WAS a child. And have you not noticed how destructive a human child is to things on its own scale? I find humans to be like ants in terms of scale to a dragon, isn't it funny how horrifying it must be for an ant when a human foot comes down on top of everything around it? And just a child's. Does a child really understand what it does when it damages something, does a child know how it's actions affect those around it? How dare you critic my daughter for things done well before her juvenile years! You don't even know the woman she has come to be!In all honesty maybe we should have just pelted her behind when we caught her throwing things.
>>1388713Destructive.*God damn autojewrect.
>>1388715You know Liz would be ultra-pissed at you, right?Not just "pissed" or "very angry" but a whole new level of very, very angry.Anyways, I'ma get some sleep and probably continue in the morning. If you can continue to write-in about why maybe he should give her a chance, you might just convince him.
>>1388717Mother's often don't like the truth about children. They aren't innocent rather just ignorant to what they do.>I'm willing to overlook the slight. But you really haven't met my daughter. >Comparing her then to now would be like me comparing unfermented grape juice to a wine. So why not meet her. See for yourself how your expectations conform to reality. I'm willing to bet you will be pleasantly supprised.
>>1388717I haven't been here for months. I was around for the beginning of this quest and influenced A LOT of it for the first two dozen threads.WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING???
>>1388898A lot, and I mean a lot, of shit has happened since thread 24 but right now we're just dealing with our kid Renexizia. Basically she's a major fucking brat who is pointlessly destructive, barely follows reason and is autistic. Part of the reason for this is that Anons decided to deal with Khorne and got chaos mutations which apparently got passed on to Renexizia, although I think part of her behavior is that she doesn't know any consequences because the majority of anons have been okay with or condone what she does. A list of things she has done.>Threw an mysterious vile that just showed up to her at a Lizardmen spawning pool in Lustria (Player choice)>Ate the Eiffel Tower which caused tension with France and money>Went on a shopping spree/rampage with Rens mom and almost bankrupted Sweden we stopped her fortunately >Partially destroyed the palace of London There's might more but these stand out the most. Now she wants to move to America to be with a guy she just met and is planning to just stay at the college illegally and to turn to violence if anyone tells her to leave which will fuck upmties with America. Her being with Haroldr just sounds much better and more manageable.
>>1388898Essentially?1) We've expanded our nation more and absorbed some of our vassal nations and even gained Luxembourg peacefully. 2) Allied with the Kobolds (found out that they may invade the surface soon, as they need more slaves) and got:A) A M16 style rifle that is far more advanced than any surface weapon in a similar role.B) A tourism deal with them resulting in the creation of a tourist district in stockholm.3) Discovered that not only are the gods real but that Ragnarok is coming in about 50 years or less and that god is the reason we survived our head shot by the white death.4) Found the chaos gods from 40K, accidentally releasing them into this dimension and then allied with Khorne as he is actually quite a nice guy all things being equal. 5) Been branded a war criminal (which I think we got taken care of but I might be wrong) for invading the Netherlands.6) Started a space program then had the Americans declare they were going to go to space first without knowing we had a program and then focused down on the space program just enough to beat them into orbit. Should be happening sometime in the next two months in game...7) Discovered that the Kobold's enemies, the gnome's and the drow, were plotting the downfall of our nation by:A) A bio-radiological high powered explosive in the middle of a major protest attack. In an attempt to make it look like we attacked.B) A secret underground facility used to practice and develop mind control techniques for controlling the population.8) Induced mass militarism in the werewolf population, still need to develop combat equipment for them so we can have actual divisions rather than a citizens guard.9) Developed, refined and created an infinite power source and high-density battery system. Extremely experimental.10) Developed the internet, computers, digital cameras and mobile phones all at least 2 decades early. (turns out the Kobolds have had the internet for a few years at least)11) Finished the Vietnam war and mid way through the Korean one.12) Had Persia be made a vassal of china.13) Started a separate empire under our control out of a Kobold village in another dimension.14) A bunch of other shit like figuring out how to do inter-dimensional portals, kinda...
>>1389008Something we should probably remember about the Kobolds is that there are two empires, east and west. I believe we've been in contact with the western Kobolds while we found an eastern one snooping around Constantinople a while back
>>1389043Is there? I was unaware of this fact but that changes certain things.
>>1389072I believe it has only been mentioned a few and never in depth.
>>1389089Either way, my primary points regarding them stand.Also, I really want to focus down the space stuff and possibly make use of our insane tech to break certain problems apart.I am serious when I say that, with a few months of constant labour, we could have a lunar colony up and running.
>>1389102As good of an idea that we we need to get our house in order. We have riots in France and communist have infiltrated our academia. Meanwhile were still routing that Drow bitch and have to ensure our victory in our overseas war.
>>1389153France is something we will not be able to fix for now. They are quite nationalistic and see us as a foreign influence at best. The best we can hope for is convincing them to not be such revolutionaries about it. Either by appeasing them or by eliminating their organisers and ring leaders.As to the communists, the communists aren't the problem: the people radicalising them are. The drow are the threat and they can be taken care of fairly easily by methods I have previously outlined.Also the Drow female is something we can hand off to our subordinates or one of our children. Such as Charlemagne, seeing as he has military experience and a personal division of special forces humans to take the field with him.Lastly, the victory over seas: We already have this. Given enough time we will defeat the Koreans, we have already managed to pacify Vietnam and we have eliminated the Russian mercenary threat.The fact is however, if we control space, we control the world. Consider the fact we have access to a infinite power source based on a material which is known to enhance the intensity of any laser that passes through it and the ability to place a large satellite in orbit. You know what that is?A death laser: precise, deadly and revolutionary. A beam of fuck you to anything on the surface and we could make a number of these and hold the world at gunpoint for all time.Consider as well that with the energy constraints removed, Gauss and rail weapons mounted on similar satellites become feasible as well for orbital bombardment. Allowing us to hit anything under ground or protected by another means. There is also the fact, that being the first nation to seriously do anything with space will put us in the history books and unify all of the people under us. By doing so we can solve some of our problems, saying that we are the cutting edge, that we are the future and so on.
>>1389196Yes, because space will definitely help us against sandniggers, the communist who are a threat not because they are radicalizing, but rather spreading their ideals to the next generation through the education system, and is definitely useful when faced with the threat of creatures bellow the surface. What I'm saying is we have to resolve some of this before we can focus on space. As for France, we're there not communist "refugees" heading to Germany from there?
>>1389243Nope, it was communists and liberals from our empire heading into Germany thanks to them hating our rule and shit.Also, I agree we have shit to solve but the fact is that we can easily do this space shit without detracting from those efforts. If we give Frankizka a bunch of new spies and such to get to work removing the dark skinned underground kebab all of our problems.As to the communists, I can easily disable them. At the very least stopping them from trying any sort of revolution or such.
>>1389280It's not revolution I'm worried about it's conversion.
>>1389305There is nothing inherently wrong with communism. Assuming one actually knows the writtings of it.Essentially the first pieces of communist economic-political-social theory all agree that capitalism is the interim to communism.Thus, we just need to convince the communists that if they work with the system, that eventually what they seek will come.
>>1389345Care to correct yourself?
>>1389352Nope, communism as an idea is essentially the end point of automation and other such concepts.It assumes that one day, the productivity of the workers will outweigh their total wants and needs. That at some point in the future all could live like kings thanks to this fact. It respects capitalism, as an evolution from Feudalism that has made the workers life better but sees that it is merely a transition between the two states.It sees that, in such a future where everyone is cared for and supplied with whatever they want, that no government would be needed/ little need for a government. As there would be nothing worth stealing or such. Admittedly this is a little too unrealistic in the face of religious, national and other such killings.It believes that to deal with larger problems, the people would unite. That the inherent good of humanity would see us all prosper and disasters be dealt with in hours. This is based off of the idea of charities and shit but taken to a greater degree.The reason the Soviet union was a dictatorship with a central government? Not productive enough and Stalin was also a dictator by nature: not that bad of a ruler mind you, did a very good job in many areas.Communism is a great idea, a decent political system and a shit thing sometimes but I wish it could work. It is the concept of crowd funding and other such things taken to an extreme. Yet many would argue what I just described is not communism, because they look at "communist" nations of yesteryear for what it is.
>>1389410. . . QM start the mother fucking chopper!
>>1389455Again, not a communist. Just saying that communists aren't wrong in their goal.The problem is that they always seemingly decide that armed revolution and then a dictatorship or junta is advisable.
>>1389465And Venezuela? Let me guess. "It wasn't real Communism/Socialism."
>>1389542Venezuela is proof of my point that communism won't work, yet. The productivity surplus isn't there and the government is too corrupt.It might also have something to do with them spending huge amounts of money on buying military hardware, which they then fail to maintenance instead of basic supplies for their people.
>>1389410...Lefty/pol/ detected. However, in the interest of the quest I'll ignore this so long as we don't go down the path of communism."Well, I'm willing to overlook the slight. You haven't really met my daughter though, comparing her to then to now would be like me comparing an unfermented grape juice to a wine. So why not meet her again? See for yourself how your expectations conform to reality. I'm willing to bet you'll be pleasantly surprised."He sighs, thinking."...Listen, no offense but your family is batshit crazy.""How?""Giant dragon wife who acts like a mother to everyone, and erh... You know, has... Assets. Then you have the borderline neo-nazi heir... Oh, and a crazy beserker in Denmark as it's heir... What else...""Alright, alright. My family CAN be a bit crazy, but it won't give you too much trouble, ok?""...I doubt it."Actions>...My family is great. They'll treat you with respect and dignity, ok?>...Listen, just uh... You might be a little... Emasculated by them. So why don't you erh... Take a mutagen? I think it'd help a bit.>Come on, my family... It's craziness doesn't apply to... Fuck it, it's really crazy. Just please?>Write-In (More arguments will convince him more!)
>>1389617>...Listen, just uh... You might be a little... Emasculated by them. So why don't you erh... Take a mutagen? I think it'd help a bit.New thread when? This one is almost dead.
>>1389652After you get Haroldr to go with you, I suppose.
"Listen, you might be a bit... Emasculated. So why don't you take one of my mutagens? It'll surely help you out a lot..."'He seems extremely unconvinced."...I'm good, thanks. I'm not looking to be ten feet with scales and a tail.""...Really?""Yeah, no."Actions>Try to persuade him? (Charisma DC: 9)>...Intimidate him. (Intimidation DC: 5)>(Genius) Mention how it comes with nearly no drawbacks, and confuse him with science so he might just consent. (Intelligence DC: 7)>...Bribe him.>You know... He might have some slight feeling for Renexizia. Try to persuade him that she really does need his help so she won't... Break a lot of things. Yeah. (Charisma DC: 7)>Write-In
>>1389617I am not a communist. I don't agree with their complete hate of religion as a social force and I do believe that unions can work against the interests of the worker.>...Listen, just uh... You might be a little... Emasculated by them. So why don't you erh... Take a mutagen? I think it'd help a bit."Also, Liz has been pulling back on that whole maternal behaviour thing...and I take no responsibility about what happened with Denmark."
>>1389692>Try to persuade him? (Charisma DC: 9)I'm also up for bribing him if anyone else is. Maybe a manor that's an hour or two away from our palace.
Roll me a 1d20 twice anons.+2 if you can give him reasons to maybe take a mutagen.+1 if you can mention the benefits a bit...+1 if you can mention how much your daughter will like him as a half dragon
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>1389734>You'll be less likely of being mauled by Lycanthrope or some other beastial race race within the empire.
Do anons want to use Barbaric?
Rolled 1, 18 = 19 (2d20)Roll me a 1d20 twice anons. Also, ignore my roll.+2 if you can intimidate him with what you'll do to him if he doesn't accept the mutagen and going out with your daughter.
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1389809>A critical failure and very good success
>>1389809>So help if you disregard you're duty to Sweden and fail the royal bloodline I'll see to that you and your entire life are ground to dust, both figuratively and literally. I'll strip of your rank, seize all your personal assets and court martial you and charges of treason. It is your job to Sweden and its people that you appease my daughter and do not let her cause WW3, you must take this mutagen to do so lest your task but in vain.
17Good Success!"Listen the fuck up, you'll be less likely of actually being mauled by a werewolf or some other bestial race in the Empire, so fucking take it.""Erh...""Fucking do it, goddamn it. I'm not going to have my daughter's boyfriend get mauled without being able to protect himself. Now, if you disregard your duty to Sweden and fail the royal bloodline I'll see to that you and your entire life are ground to dust, both figuratively and literally. I'll strip of your rank, seize all your personal assets and court martial you with charges of treason. It is your job to Sweden and its people that you appease my daughter and do not let her cause a third world war, damn it. You must take this mutagen to do so lest your task but in vain... Got it?"Clearly a bit intimidated, he accepts... Either way, your fucking fed up with actually having to convince him to do this. You eventually say fuck it and just grab him, turn into your dragon form, and fly off. You aren't in the mood for this shit, and you have other things you need to worry about.Next thread coming up shortly anons. Give me an hour though.