Welcome to the wonderful world of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Though you don't know it yet, you posses a wondrous power known as a Stand, which represents your willpower and fighting spirit! Alas, this will lead you into many hardships, but with good use of your Stand, you should be able to pull through. However, Stands are shaped by the individual, so what form your Stand takes is dependent on what kind of person you are.With that in mind, please take a moment to consider your true nature.Firstly,>Are you a MAN? Or a WOMAN?>MAN>WOMAN
>>1319980>>1319987>You are a MANYou are a male heir to the Joestar bloodline, dating back several centuries. However, in the current year of 2016, it doesn't exactly offer you much prestige. Your parents both being part of a travelling orchestra also doesn't exactly leave much quality family time. You're currently on your own at the family home for the week, and with your birthday today too!So, where do you live, and how old are you turning?>Where do you live?>Japan>America>England>How old are you turning?>18>20>23
Rolled 3 (1d3)>>1320005>>1320012>>1320014It's a three way tie for location. So, we'll have to decide by dice.
>>1320005>>1320012>>1320027>You live in ENGLAND, In your family's old manor>You are now TWENTY years of ageYour parents may be out of town, but they've not neglected to at least leave you a present to open. They even put a time-lock on the box, just to make sure it wasn't opened early. Your parents are kind of overprotective like that.You carefully crack open the box, untying the ribbon and lifting the lid to reveal... A scarf.>How do you react?>Ungrateful>Happy>Confused
>>1320034>>1320035>>1320037>You are HAPPY, CONFUSEDIt's a pretty kickass scarf, but for a 20th birthday present? Something's up and you're left wondering just what that is. You drape the scarf around your neck and admire how nice it looks. Glancing back at the box, you notice a letter at the bottom, and it looks like it's addressed to you. I mean, it does have your name on it.>What is your first name?>Write-In, beginning with Jo
>>1320070>>1320076>Your name is JOEL JOESTARThe letter has "To Joel" on the front. You open it to find a sheet of handwriting you know to be your Father's."Dear JoJo,Your Mother and I are so proud of how you've turned into such a fine young man. While we may not be there for you on your birthday, know that we are thinking of you. Your birthday present may seem a little unusual, but it has been a family heirloom of great value for many years, and we hope you will continue to wear it as you uphold the family name. We'll be back to celebrate at the end of the week, but until then, why not have a party with your friends? Happy Birthday champ!-Mum and Dad."Well, this explains things. Well, the day is still young, and you've got a birthday to have! What should you do?You plan to spend your birthday>Staying at home and exploring the library>Heading out to meet your friends at the usual spot>Going to the city and wandering about.>Relaxing in the local park
>>1320091>Going to the city and wandering about
>>1320091>Going to the city and wandering about.Also why universe is this in?
>>1320132That's something you'll have to discover for yourself as you progress.>>1320104>>1320132>You go to the City to wander aboutYou decide to stretch your legs and catch the bus from the nearby bus stop, heading into the City. As you walk among the sprawling crowd, you engage in the simple joy of people-watching, looking at the different people passing by. You scan the buildings for something that piques your interest, but so far, no luck.As you're approaching a crosswalk, you notice a cat using the crosswalk like a person would, strutting about like it owns the place. You're about to move on from this amusing little event when you see a car hurtling towards the intersection at high speed, ignoring the red light! It looks like it's on a collision course with the cat! The feline also sees the car, but freezes instead of fleeing across the remainder of the crosswalk. Time almost seems to pause as your thoughts run through your head. You might be able to reach the cat in time to grab it and move it out of the way, but you'd be risking colliding with the car. Alternatively, you could try and startle the cat into moving out of the way, though you're not sure if it will work. What do you do?>Get the cat to safety>Try and scare the cat the rest of the way across the crosswalk>Don't get involved
>>1320143>Try and scare the cat the rest of the way across the crosswalk
>>1320143>Don't get involved
>>1320148>>1320149>You decide to try and scare the cat the rest of the way across the crosswalkYou raise your arms and yell at the cat. "Hey kitty! Get out of the way! Shoo! Run!" The cat looks at you for about half a second, before turning tail and running away across the crosswalk. A moment later, the car barrels past you and makes a sharp turn, careening into a stop sign nearby. You'll probably never see the cat again, but at least it's safe. And you didn't have to stick your neck out for it. You look back at the wrecked car. It seems pretty beat up, with dents all over it, but from here you can't see anyone inside. A small crowd is beginning to gather a small distance from it.Do you check it out?>Go investigate the car up close>Join the crowd nearby>Walk away, it has nothing to do with you.
>>1320165>Go investigate the car up close
>>1320167>>1320170>You go to investigate the car up closeJeez, this thing is a wreck. It looks pretty old, and with all these dents and the coat of grimy muck covering it, you can't even tell what kind of car it is. The windows are completely covered in dust, preventing you from seeing inside. You wipe your sleeve on the front passenger window so you can see through into the car... And there's a face pressed against the glass! There's a man in there who seems to be gesturing at the door handle with a panicked expression. He looks terrified. What will you do?>Open the car door>Smash a window>Walk away
>>1320187>Make sure an ambulance is calledThen>Open the car door
>>1320190>>1320209>>1320219>You open the car doorYou yell over your shoulder for someone to call an ambulance. A man in the crowd gives you a thumbs up, he's already on his phone. You turn back to the car and you grab the door handle. With a yank, you open up the passenger side door and the man inside the car tumbles out onto the pavement. "Oh thank you, thank you!" He exclaims in relief. "I was stuck inside! I couldn't even drive the car!" Did he lose control due to the car breaking down? It seems strange, but at least no one was hurt. You move to walk away, but you find yourself pulled back to the car. You're still holding the passenger door handle. Silly thing to do really. With an embarrassed grin you release your grip on the door handle... Wait, your hand is stuck! You can't let go! You're slowly getting pulled into the car! The man from the car looks on in horror as you pull uselessly at your arm. Eventually, your hand pulls your entire body inside the car and then whips inside, the door slamming shut. A seat belt whips around your chest and pulls you tightly into the chair as you hear the engine rev up. The car is moving on its own! The steering wheel turns all by itself as the car reverses away from the stop sign and barrels down the road in a new direction.You hear a voice emanating from the car radio. "Trying to play the hero, kid? Eddie was supposed to be killed in that crash, and now he's escaped. The Boss'll be on my case now, and I'm gonna be lectured for hours now thanks to you! You've seriously pissed me off, and now you're going to pay me back. I need to let out some stress, so let's play a little game. If you can escape from my Stand, 「Ride」, before I plunge this baby into the river, I'll let you go. If not, you're gonna drown in this here car, see? Good luck kid!"The car radio switches off.What are you going to do!?>Try and undo your seatbelt first>Grab at the wheel>Check the passenger door>Other (Write-In)
>>1320237>Grab at the wheel
>>1320251>>1320260>You grab at the wheelYou reach over and grab the wheel in front of the driver's seat. You tug at it to turn, but with all your might you can only make it curve a little. At the speed you're going, you'll probably crash if you're not careful with this. The car heads along a series of roads you know lead to a bridge overlooking the River. You've only got a minute tops to escape before you'll be plunged underwater. This is a pretty stressful situation, and you can feel your heart beating like a sledgehammer in your ribcage.The adrenaline is coursing through your veins, and your eyes cross for a second before snapping back into focus. Man this guy is going fast. You catch a glance into the rear-view mirror and... Who the hell is that sitting there in the back seat? It's like some kind of humanoid robot! The arms and legs of this mystery robot are just long lengths of chain, ending in gloves and boots. The chest is a boxy thing with gears turning beneath a semi-transparent surface. The head looks kind of like the head of a hammerhead shark, but covered in tiny little lights.With a jolt, as you look at this mystery robot, you come to a sudden and inexplicable realization. This is your Stand, like that guy's Stand is 「Ride」. You've got bizarre powers too! You know that this Stand has a range that extends across the entire car and 20 metres of the surrounding area. You know that within that range, this Stand can connect any two objects as if they were naturally bonded together, with the bond being as strong as the objects are. You know you can disconnect this bond at any time, and at the moment, you can only connect one pair of objects.>STAND BATTLE, 「???」 VS 「RIDE」>How do you use your Stand to escape from 「Ride」?>Write-In
>>1320288>Connect the car's tires to the road.>Brace for fuckin impact
>>1320290>>1320293>Connect the car's tires to the road.You grab your seat with both hands, brace for impact, and have your Stand connect one of the front tires of the car to the road. The stop is instant, the sudden deceleration causing you to lurch forward, almost smashing your head against the dashboard. The engine of the car is still revving, but the front right tire won't budge an inch. You've stopped, at least for now. You can sustain this connection indefinitely, but you won't be able to make a new connection without severing this one.>STAND BATTLE CONTINUES>How do you escape from 「Ride」?>Write-In
>>1320323>How do you escape from 「Ride」?Look for a knife or something to cut the seatbelt then use the head rest things in the drivers seat, which are detachable, to break a window
>>1320323>Try having our Stand mess with the car engine with its bare hands.
>>1320334>>1320335You command your Stand to head up to the engine in the front of the car to try and break it somehow. Your Stand moves a few things about in a way which should sabotage the engine, and you feel the car stop revving as it dies. With the engine ruined, you look for something sharp you can use to cut your seatbelt. You find a small penknife in the pocket at the back of the driver's seat, and get your Stand to hand it to you. Cutting yourself free of the seatbelts, you grab the headrest and smash it through the window, before diving through yourself. You've made it outside of 「Ride」!The car radio switches on again. "Hey, what the hell? You weren't supposed to survive that! Gah, I'll get you someday for this kid! But for now, I'll keep my word. Run off home, you punk!">The Radio is still on, how do you reply?>Angrily>Smugly>Stoically>Not at all
>>1320356>Not at allTime to get the fuck out of there
>>1320356>SmuglyThis universes version of Joseph would be proud.
>>1320365>>1320370You give a smug chuckle as you leave. "You bloody kid! You won't be laughing when I catch youuuuu!" You quickly hightail it away from the wreck. You've got a few scratches from diving through the window, and you're still a little dizzy from the whole ordeal, but otherwise you got through that in peak condition. Once you're several blocks away, you heave a sigh of relief and sit down on a bench. You notice you don't see your Stand around, and you call for it. Your Stand materializes from inside you and moves to stand in front of you, striking a pose. So that's how these things work. You wave your hand through it, and it passes completely through. This Stand is completely immaterial, it seems. Well, it can still interact with the physical world directly. You'll have to study up on these things. But you realize that your Stand doesn't have a name. That guy on the radio named his Stand 「Ride」, so it'd make sense for you to name yours.>What will you name your STAND?>Write-In
>>1320401>Your STAND NAME is now 「Sexx Laws」You give your stand a long hard look. After a little bit of thought, you name it 「Sexx Laws」. With that out of the way, you can't hang around here all day, and you've got to figure out just what the hell is going on. You head off with a new destination in mind.>You just narrowly avoided a watery grave and fended off an enemy Stand attack. Where will you go now?>Head back to the family manor>Meet up with your friends>Go back to where you originally encountered 「Ride」
>>1320429>Head back to the family manor
>>1320430>You head back to the family manor.You take the bus back to your family manor, step inside, and go relax in your lounge room. Man, it's been one hell of a morning. You discovered "Stands", got a Stand yourself, and managed to get yourself out of one bizarre situation before it was too late. You're gonna need some time to absorb this. >TO BE CONTINUEDAlright guys, thanks for participating! I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had running it.
Rolled 8 (1d100)Another lel