>>1152375 #
You stand at the shrine's entrance and clear your throat.
"And THERE it is, friends! The ugly... truth. YOUR CHILDREN have ascended from the DUNG of man! I alone have been anointed to spread Alagos' mercy! FOR I LOVE YOU! Let the cleansing rains wash you of your impurities! Alagos the mighty!"
«Yes»
"Alagos the unerring!"
«Yes!»
"ALAGOS THE UNASSAILABLE!"
«YOU CAN DO IT KRYSTAL, I BELIEVE IN YOUUUU!»

Roll 1d100 to sway the town into basking under the cleansing rains.

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>1154593
I'm new here. Can someone give me a run down of what's going on and why there are two scantily clad women in OP.

>>1154606
(There was a seven/eight thread arc about how the storm god Alagos got stranded on earth, made Hell his bitch, and went home. He was a replacement for the old god of storms, and the whole Order is in shambles. He sent Krystal, the current MC and harem member, to be his voice on the mortal plane. The scantily-clad women are your bodyguards (sort of, one of them's supposed to be a lizard girl) who spent all their money on bikinis with kinetic shielding. You got them some proper robes so they don't freeze to death. I know it's a lot of information, but this has been a pretty fast paced and weird thread)
The lone bum you were addressing doesn't take your speech very well. He shouts something about taffers and heathens and throws a bottle at you, which misses.
It seems everyone else is taking shelter from the rain.
"I could've sworn there were more people out here..."
Jaylen frowns.
"I bet we'd get a bunch of followers if I flashed my tits."
Faervel sighs.
"Not if there isn't anyone around. Besides, they might not even *like* lizard tits."
Your bodyguards get into an argument as to whether or not lizard tits are a widespread fetish or not.
This wasn't how today was supposed to go.
"Either start stripping or shut up, I need to think!"

>[]Retry your speech. You were just a little too enthusiastic this time, that's all. (Roll 1d100)
>[]Go with Jaylen's plan. Screw it, maybe Alagos can be the god of harems, too. It'd probably bring in more worshippers.
>[]Go back to the inn and wait for dusk. (You still have to visit that one guy...)
>[]Other.

>>1154748
>[]Go with Jaylen's plan. Screw it, maybe Alagos can be the god of harems, too. It'd probably bring in more worshippers.
Because nothing is better then sopping wet boobs.

>>1154794
You mull it over. Not like you have much of a conscience left, anyway.
"Jaylen's right. Take off your tops."
You start unfastening your breastplate.
"W-wait, you can't be serious!"
You pull your shirt up.
"Dead serious. Jaylen, help her out."
Some drifter shows up a few minutes later. He's snapped out of his weary stupor by three topless women waving.
"Er... not that I'm complaining, but isn't that heretical?" he asks, trying desperately to keep eye contact.
"Nah, look."
You hold up your holy symbol.
"New storm god. He's cool with naked women in his shrine."
"W-what's his opinion on sex?"
"Ah. Well--"
Alagos transmits what to say into your mind.
-Use protection (unless you both want a child).
-Think of your partner's orgasm first.
-Make sure you both consent and adhere to the law.
The drifter's eyes widen.
"Holy shit."
He runs over to the inn.
"THERE'S NO MARRIAGE REQUIREMENT, LADS!"
Soon, a few dozen people are clamoring at the entrance to the shrine. Religiously sanctioned free love is pretty good bait.
You pass out amulets and get a maiden in charge of the shrine's upkeep.

>[]To the inn! You can celebrate your first converts with alcohol and maybe get your bodyguards drunk enough for sex.
>[]Wait, there's a marriage requirement?
>[]Other.

>>1154944
>>[]Wait, there's a marriage requirement?

>>1155102
"Most religious sects require marriage before sex. Some don't, but they're sort of on the fringe. There is Adasser, but some people don't want a 24/7 orgy..."
Huh. So you're sort of making history right now. Pretty cool.
Eventually, all the new members have left to make sweet, sweet love to their loved ones.
You yawn. "Our work's done here for today. By the way, tell them when they come back that they should give an offering every day it rains."
The shrine maiden nods and goes about her business.
You reattach your breastplate and throw your shoulders around your bodyguards.
"See? All we needed was some feminine charm. Wow, it's dark already? C'mon. I gotta meet that one guy, assuming he didn't show up."
You walk over to the entrance of the alley. The Imp leaned against a wall, his cowl obscuring his features.
"Hey, you came!"
"Against my better judgement. Who're these two?"
"My bodyguards. So, one of the main things is--"
"Free love. I heard. All the elders are having conniptions over it. What's the catch?"
"An offering every time it rains."
"...that's it?"
"We're sort of making it up as we go."
The Imp shakes his head.
"Whatever. I'll think about it."
He walks away.
...
"That was rude." Jaylen remarks.

What do you do now?

>>1155235
Welp, work is done for the day, how about we hit that inn for some celebration

>>1155489
You steer your bodyguards back toward the inn.
"C'mon, let's go celebrate!"
You get back to the inn, remove your armor, and start digging through your pack.
"I smuggled some alcohol with me... if I can--ah! Here it is."
You pull out a bottle of Colorado whiskey and take a sip.
"That's the stuff..."
Your bodyguards remove their robes. You pass Faervel the bottle and unconsciously lick your lips while staring down her cleavage. Booze has always made you... predatorial.
"Hey, this is pretty good..." Faervel says, swirling the liquor around inside the bottle. She hands it to Jaylen.

>[]Start groping one of them (lizard/elf)
>[]Suggest a drinking game. That went pretty well last time.
>[]Drink a little more and go straight to sleep. You can harass them later.
>[]Other.

>>1155619
>Start groping both of them
If not both then the elf

>>1155619
>Start groping lizard

>>1155619
Start groping both but if we have to choose I say elf too

File: IMG_0322.jpg (44 KB, 640x774)

44 KB JPG

(I guess it's both, then)
You sit between the two women and start casually talking about their 'armor'. What material is it made out of? The etchings are interesting. Is it comfortable? Those things look like they're giving you wedgies.
You reach around and grab your bodyguards' breasts.
"Shh, I'm just feeling the material."
Jaylen looks pretty into it. Faervel looks like she's trying not to dive out the window.
Your hand slips beneath Jaylen's top.
"Huh."
You squeeze her breast.
"Your scales are... soft."

What's next?

>>1156227
Let's compare the scalea with elf flesh

>>1156227
I don't think elfie is into this... We should probably ease off her a bit. Don't stop with Jaylen though.

You give Faervel's breast one last squeeze and focus your attention on Jaylen.
She slides her top off, letting you see what you're groping.
Her scales are soft, but still firm enough to create an interesting contrast between what bare skin she did have. Someone needs to base their dissertation on why Salamanders need breasts. Maybe later.
You start licking Jaylen's nipples while taking her bottom off. You look up at her and give her a kiss.
"Just relax. I'll show you how."
"Err, I think I'll be going to bed." Faervel says, awkwardly curling up under her blanket.
Jaylen gasps as you start licking her clit. She's pretty inexperienced, and climaxes fast. You take her place and spread your legs.
"Don't be nervous. Breathe through your nose, that's the key."
Jaylen's long, forked tongue licks her lips.
This'll be fun.
...
"Was that fun?" you ask her.
"Y-yeah..." she pants.
You spoon her and drift off to sleep.

You wake up, hugging Jaylen a little tighter as you claw yourself from unconsciousness. What was that sound..?
Ah. There it is.
Faervel's fingering herself. On her hands and knees, no less.

>[]Go help her.
>[]Make a lot of noise and pretend you're waking up.
>[]Sit up slowly and stare at her until she's done.
>[]Other.

>>1159269
>Go help her.

>>1159269
>>[]Go help her.

>>1159274
You pinch Faervel's nipple.
"Huh--gah!"
"It's me. Just giving you a hand."
You grab her crotch and start rubbing.
"But--don't--"
Faervel gasps.
"J-just don't tell anyone about thiiiiAH!"
She slumps over.
That was fun. You walk into the bathroom (guess magic makes indoor plumbing a breeze) and clean yourself up. You don't really want to smell like sex all day.
You finish up and get dressed, letting your bodyguards take their turns cleaning up.
Let's see. Today's agenda...

>[]Start traveling to the next town/city. Your work's done here.
>[]Ask if anyone knows where the old Order's headquarters was.
>[]Stay here and... waste money? Get a job?
>[]Other.

>>1159407
>>[]Start traveling to the next town/city. Your work's done here.

>>1159411
You strap on your armor.
"Alright. We're off to the next scrap of civilization."
You buy some on-the-go breakfast and set out on one of the roads out of town. Several people wave goodbye as you leave.
The going was easier on a road, but you notice riders on large birds fly over you from time to time. You wish you had one.
You go on until noon, taking a break to eat lunch on a fallen log. A lumberjack dog-man joins you and warns you about some sort of infestation in some nearby ruins before returning to work.

>[]Well, let's take a look. Don't have much else to do today.
>[]Bet it's just rats. Let's keep going.
>[]Other.

>>1159471
>Well, let's take a look. Don't have much else to do today.

>>1159726
You find the ruins a ways off to the side of the road. It looks like a guard tower. Judging from the scorch marks, this was destroyed by something hostile. And burn-ey.
You unsheathe your sword and hold your shield at the ready. Jaylen snaps her whip, sending sparks flying from the chain links.
You slowly walk into the tower, peering into the darkness. Your sword and holy symbol give off enough light to see a short distance ahead.
Something shuffles into view. It's a half-rotted corpse, holding a halberd and wearing some kind of standard issue leather armor.
It sees you and growls, hefting it's halberd.

Roll 1d100.

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>1159851

>>1159862
The corpse leaps at you and flails it's halberd wildly, leaving no openings. Jaylen's whip wraps around the halberd and pulls it away, allowing you to step forward and cut it's head off.
"Aw, what the hell is *this*..." you groan.
"A revenant." Faervel coughs, holding her robe's collar to her mouth. "The bodies of anyone who dies violently try to seek out their killer. Only way to keep that from happening is to burn them."
Jaylen whips the body several times. A spark catches in the decayed flesh and grows, eating away at the revenant.
You continue on, burning another revenant that had been crushed under some rubble and retrieving a helmet from an old chest.
It was the same metal as your new gauntlets. You exchange your old helmet for the new one.
At the top of the tower was a man in what looked like Viking-style armor. Lots of fur and whatnot.
He paces back and forth muttering about gods and undead, ocassionally smashing his greathammer onto piles or rubble.

>[]Call out to him. Maybe he's just having a bad day.
>[]Rush him while he's distracted. (1d100)
>[]Other.

>>1159946
>Call out to him. Maybe he's just having a bad day.
Tell him about our lord and savior Alagos

>>1160073
"Uh, hi! We're on a mission to spread the word of our atmospheric overlord, Alagos. Would you like to hear of his divine word?"
"A-atmosphere..."
The man turns to look at you. Your eyes fix on an amulet hanging from his neck, a hammer that appears to be sparking slightly. He does the same to your own amulet.
"Aw, come on--"
"RAAAAUGH!!!"

>Naer, Old Champion.

Naer charges you, bringing his greathammer in a crushing overhead blow.

What's your plan of attack?

>>1160495
Dodge that shit yo. Then start stabbing.

>>1160530
You graciously leap out of the way of the hammer's path.
Well, it was more like a half-roll, half-flop, but still.
After the hammer smashes into the floor, you wind up and thrust a beam of light from your sword.
Naer swings his hammer as you're backing away, barely missing your face.
Jaylen wraps her whip around the hammer's shaft, and Faervel leaps forward to attack with her axe.
It works well, until Naer swings his hammer in an arc over his head, slamming Jaylen into the ground.

>[]Get everyone away and use the rocket launcher. (Three rockets left)
>[]Keep dodging attacks and attacking when he's staggered. Video games taught you much.
>[]Call in a favor from Alagos and smite this bastard.
>[]Other.

>>1160657
>Keep dodging attacks and attacking when he's staggered. Video games taught you much.
We don't need Alagos' help! But might as well mutter a few prayers here and there.

>>1160716
You jump backward to avoid another hammer swing.
"Jaylen, if you're all right, I wouldn't try that again."
"You didn't have to tell meEeEeEeEeEeee....."
You get a particularly satisfying hit in, and Naer roars in anger. A bolt of lightning falls from the sky and strikes him, giving him an electric aura.
"ALAGOS WHY'D YOU BLESS HIM YOU'RE SUPOOSED TO BLESS ME" you scream, dodging Naer's new super speed rush forward move thing.
«That wasn't me! He must have some kind of buff... I guess I'll help you.»
The wind picks up underneath your feet, lifting you slightly into the air. It's a little tricky to move, but you're a lot more mobile.

>[]Target the holy symbol. It might be a weak spot. Or it might just piss him off more.
>[]Keep slicing. He's on phase two!
>[]Other.

>>1161111
Target the symbol

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63 KB JPG

>>1161413
You dodge the next blow and cut the amulet's chain, throwing it to the ground and letting Naer's next strike crush it for you.
Naer's eyes grow dull. His strikes are dull and uncoordinated. Jaylen wraps her whip around Naer's leg, and you finish him off, cutting his throat and burning the body. Don't want him coming back.
A bluish black stone rolls out of the ashes and rests at your feet.

Use this stone to gain a new ability!
>[]Bio-chain mail can change shape, not just form on your skin. (Prerequisite for another, more interesting power)
>[]Instantly unlock dimensional storage. (Allows you to access the arsenal back at Alagos's palace. Maybe some supplies, too, if Alagos can be assed)
>[]Your amulet charges your sword with electricity automatically.

>>1161562
>Your amulet charges your sword with electricity automatically.

>>1161562
Bio chainmail

>>1161562

>[]Bio-chain mail can change shape, not just form on your skin. (Prerequisite for another, more interesting power)

The stone cracks and dissolves in your hand. You can feel the mail writhe beneath your skin before settling back into place.
(You are now able to manipulate the material in various ways, providing claws, blades, clubs, etc. You can also shape it into sexy underwear or a strapon. Thought you anons would want to know)
You take a look at the pile of ash at your feet.
"May the gods let him find peace."
You turn around and descend the tower, rolling your shoulders and setting your sights down the road.
"Can't sit around on our asses. Let's go."

...

You finish off one of your ration's wafer things and sigh. You have no idea how far you went today, but it's taken a toll. You wish you could make ice crystals form inside your armor. Well, no use complaining about it.
You stare into the campfire and ponder what to do next.

>[]I'll take first watch.
>[]Plan out the Order's structure (ideas for how the religious hierarchy works).
>[]Sleep.
>[]Other.
>[]

>>1162324
>I'll take first watch

>>1162324
>>[]I'll take first watch.

You take a seat on a nearby rock.
"I'll take first watch. Next is Jaylen. We'll take three hour shifts."
Your bodyguards nod and curl up in their bedrolls.
"Goodnight, Krystal."
"'Night."
You stare into the slowly dying campfire, pondering the mysteries of life and all that crap. Also pinching yourself so you don't drift off to sleep.
Well, until someone said "Hi." right next to you.
You unsheathe your sword and hold it up to the newcomer's neck.
"Well, I'm not going to give you any chocolate now."
Alagos gently pushes your sword away from his neck.

>[]Hugs.
>[]Shoo, I'm busy.
>[]Oh. Hi.
>[]Other.

>>1163094
>Hugs.

>>1163094
>>[]Hugs.

You reach over and hug Alagos.
"D'awww. I guess that's that."
You pull away from each other. Alagos hands you a heart-shaped box of chocolates.
"Where'd you get this..?"
"Found it at the door today. 'From Adasser, goddess of love.' I checked to make sure there wasn't aphrodisiac or anything."
Yay. Repurposed chocolate.
You open it up and pop a truffle into your mouth.
...pretty good repurposed chocolate, though.
"What's the occasion?"
"Valentine's Day. Thought you'd want something, and as entertaining as wild, unbridled sex with Sasha is... I need some variety."

>[]You implying something?
>[]Not tonight. Need to keep watch.
>[]You should've brought some booze. Been a while since I got drunk.
>[]Other.

>>1163386
>>[]You should've brought some booze. Been a while since I got drunk.

>>1163386
>You should've brought some booze. Been a while since I got drunk.

"Well, if you say so."
A bottle appeared in Alagos's hand.
"Chocolate liqueur."
You take a drink. You've heard of this stuff, but didn't think it actually tasted like chocolate...
"So, how's your new lifestyle?" you ask.
"I miss the old days. Killing demons and all. It sucked at times, but really, there's just nothing to relieve stress like jumping into the middle of an army and performing high-speed dissection with a sword. And really--"
He gulps down some liqueur.
"That's about all I've done until now. I feel kind of purposeless. How 'bout you? Your antics when you were younger were probably legendary."

>[]Nah. I was a good girl, actually.
>[]I'd rather not talk about it.
>[]I beat the shit out of some guy in high school.
>[]Other.

>>1163884
>I beat the shit out of some guy in high school.

>>1163923
"...well, you don't disappoint. What'd he do?"
"He... I'd rather not dwell on it too long, so I'll give you the short version. He raped me and I kicked his teeth in."
Alagos stares into the campfire for a while before speaking.
"...pretty casual for a traumatic event."
"I had a great therapist. Oh, yeah, and I peed on the guy's--"
"Didn't you want to NOT dwell on it?"
You look up at the moon. It's probably been around three hours now...

>[]Well, I've gotta get to sleep. You can talk to Jaylen if you want. Just don't wake me up.
>[]I can stay up a little longer... (talk or sex?)

>>1164993
Ask how the girls are doing

>>1165557
"How's everyone up there?"
"Aaaaah."
Alagos grabs the bottle from you and takes a long drink.
"So." he says, blinking a few times. "That one maid, kept flashing me? That was Adasser. Apparently, she *has* to have sex with all the gods. Just has Aeneth left, I think."
That doesn't sound so bad.
"Well, she shoved me in a closet and kept me pinned in there for two hours. Pris is... well, she's taken Adasser's place on the staff. Wears some vibrators everywhere she goes, even though I never said anything."
Heh. She's still doing it.
"And Sasha. This morning, I released her from the whole mind-slave thing. She realized what happened a little later, and... well, you can imagine. Being released from someone's control and finding out you still love them. That's why I'm out here. In the woods. Drinking."

What do you say in response to this?

>>1165722
Sasha still planning on sticking around? Maybe we should talk to her. If we can do that.

>>1165852
"She doesn't know yet. I'll just let her think about it for a little while."
Oh, Sasha...
"Can I talk to her?"
Alagos looks up.
"I... guess. If you think it could help."
Jaylen stirred and sat up. "Wha--? Who's talking... oh, it must be my turn--"
She rubs her eyes and stares at Alagos.
"Who's that..?"
Before you can say anything, Alagos stands up and bows.
"Hello, Miss Lizard. I am Alagos, god of storms. Enchanté."
To Jaylen's credit, she tries to get into a kneeling position, throwing her cloak to the side.
"M-my lord."

>[]Jaylen, I need to go for a little while. Important god stuff.
>[]Slap Alagos's inflated head.
>[]Start wondering out loud how many volts Alagos is gonna use for gazing upon his visage without permission.
>[]Other.

>>1165960
>Slap Alagos's inflated head.
Then
>Jaylen, I need to go for a little while. Important god stuff.

>>1165985
You smack Alagos across the back of the head.
"Ow."
"You don't have to kneel, Jaylen. He's just being dramatic. By the way, I need to go take care of something."
Jaylen stands and stutters.
"Er--uh--"
She places her first over her heart.
"I'll do my best."
Alagos gestures, and you feel some force pull on your atoms.
You're standing outside the door to the bedroom, back at Alagos's palace. He pats you on the shoulder.
"Good luck. I'll be in the kitchen when you're done."
He leaves, and you push the door open. Sasha is sitting in the corner, and looks up at you.
"...Krystal."

What do you say to her?

>>1166033
So uh things might be a little shitty right now. But I need you to know you got a friend here. And that's not gonna change whether you decide to stay or go. And for the record I think you should stay. Just so I have someone to complain about Alagos' bullshit to.

>>1166082
Sasha breathes through her nose.
"He *can* be troublesome... I'm grateful you're willing to listen, Krystal, it's just that you'll be gone a lot, and I don't know how I feel about you or him... I need some time to sort things out."
You sit next to Sasha and put your arms around her.
"I understand. You can try talking to Pris when I'm not around. She might be a robot and a sex slave, but she's got a heart, too."
Sasha smiles weakly and returns your hug.
"I'll keep that in mind."
You stand and help Sasha to her feet.
"...you need a shower."

>[]I do, don't I...
>[]It's normal for travelers. I'll be leaving, but not before grabbing my gun.
>[]And you need some new mascara. I need to get back now. Still need sleep.
>[]Other.

>>1166267
> I do, don't i

>>1166267
>I do, don't I...

>>1166267
>I do, don't I...

You sniff yourself and grimace.
"I guess I should, seeing as I'm here."
You unstrap your armor and sigh. Finally, you can breathe.
"So are you gonna go with me, or..?"
Sasha shakes her head.
"Sorry. It'd be awkward."
You take a slightly longer shower than necessary before slipping back into your jeans and /k/ t-shirt. Then you grudgingly put your armor back on, save the helmet.
Sasha walks down the hallway with you.
"You should really get some kind of design on your shield. It's a little plain."

>[]Great idea. Let's do that now, you have any paint?
>[]Maybe later. I'd like to visit the armory first.
>[]Could be useful. I'll see if I can find anything to paint with on the mortal plane.
>[]Other.

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Bump.

>>1168370
>Great idea. Lets do that now, you have any paint?

>>1168370
>Great idea. Let's do that now, you have any paint?

>>1169481
"I think so..."
Sasha leads you into the castle's workshop. Indeed, there are some paints and brushes in case Alagos wants to paint the walls bright pink or something.
There's a wide selection of colors for you to choose from.

What do you paint on your shield?
(If nobody really cares, I'll just go with some 'Murican regalia)

>>1169814
A dope-ass lightning bolt

Alagos's sigil from pride

>>1169814
A bald eagle flying through a thunderstorm?

File: IMG_0998.jpg (67 KB, 1280x720)

67 KB JPG

(Been a while since I used a D3. Third post has been chosen)
What a splendid idea! You start painting, occasionally asking Sasha for assistance or feedback.
You finish your work and step back for a better look. The background is dark gray swirl patterns, overlaid with bolts of lightning. The foreground contains a bald eagle glaring at some unseen enemy off to the side. Probably not the most intimidating, but who knows? Your reputation might make this a harbinger of death.
The paint dries in about five minutes. You're not sure if this is because of magic or chemical composition, but you're not complaining.
"Hmm. It suits you, Krystal." Sasha comments.
"Thanks."

>[]Need to get some guns. (You can have one of your bodyguards carry the rocket launcher and get some stuff for yourself)
>[]Time to go. I'm *tired*.
>[]Other.

>>1171324
Let's look at the guns

>>1172969
You take a look at the armory, which was stocked with weapons Alagos had acquired on his journey through Hell. They include:
An anzio 20mm
A holland & holland elephant gun in .700 nitro express
A mosin-nagant 91/30
A stormbolter
An fn FAL
A pancor jackhammer
Sawed off shotgun
Two mac-10s
An m240 bravo
Two coonan .357 mag 1911
Two obligatory desert eagles in .50AE of course
One of them Fat man mininuke launchers
A bulky futuristic thing that shoots homing plasma spheres
And an LSAT (the caseless ammo variant of course) for good measure.
Your glock and Spas-12 were added upon your arrival here, and let's not forget the RPG-32 you already have.

What do you take?
(Rule change: you can have a sidearm, even with the rocket launcher)

>>1173169
>Sawed off shotgun

>>1173425
You grab the sawed-off and get a feel for its weight. It's a lot lighter than your Spas. You've seen people fire it one-handed, but you probably shouldn't try that yourself. As an afterthought, you stuff your glock into your belt. 9mm rounds are better at piercing armor.
You take a look in the kitchen, and Alagos... isn't there. Liar.
You eventually find him screwing around on your ps5.
"Most people don't know how to make this jump. Well, I am not most people."
DEAD.
"..."
Alagos put the controller down and turned around.
"Oh, hi Krystal. And, uh... Sasha."
You're ready to go. And next time he says he'll be in the kitchen, he had better be in the kitchen.
"Sorry. I'll get you back now."
You and Alagos step through the portal back to your campsite. Jaylen gets off her rock and kneels.
"My lord, thank you for keeping my lady safe--"
"You don't have to kneel..."

>[]Ignore everything and sleep.
>[]Give Alagos a good night kiss.
>[]Jaylen, seriously.
>[]Other.

>>1173571
>Jaylen, seriously.
then
>Give Alagos a good night kiss.

>>1173629
You sigh.
"Jaylen, you seriously don't have to--ah, whatever."
You give Alagos a quick kiss.
"Don't get used to it."
He smiles, gives you a hug, and wanders off into the woods.
"There's no getting used to it if you kiss like that!"
You sigh again and lie down on your bedroll, falling asleep almost instantly.
Your dreams are weird again. Patches' shambling corpse, eagles flying through storms, femAlagos getting herself shoved into a demon's--wait that can't be right.
You drag yourself out of bed, sniffing the air. Smells like sausage and biscuits.
"And blimey, if it don't look like mutton tomorrer." you mumble, kicking your bedroll away.
You get yourself a plate and rub the gunk out of the corners of your eyes, not an easy task with gauntlets.

>[]Finish breakfast and shoot something for the lols.
>[]Tell your bodyguards about your trip to the moon.
>[]No time for lollygagging, we need to get going. You'd rather not wake up with pine needles in your hair any more than you had to.
>[]Other.

>>1173760
>No time for lollygagging, we need to get going. You'd rather not wake up with pine needles in your hair any more than you had to.

>>1173776
You pack up your camp and get back to traveling. The morning is fairly uneventful, besides you hacking a slime apart before it could rape anyone. The powers gained aren't really worth the potential trauma.
Sometime around early afternoon, you stop before some guy in shitty leather armor standing in the middle of the road.
"Hello there, ladies! I'll be taking yer toll."

>[]Nice one. You a bard?
>[]Sure whatever here you go bye.
>[]Sorry, all I have is some lead. (Shoot him)
>[]IT'S AN AMBUSH (roll 1d100)
>[]Blowjob bribe? (Which one of you does it?)
>[]Other.

>>1174087
>>[]Nice one. You a bard?

>>1174230
"Meh. I've heard worse. Are you a bard or a minstrel or whatever?"
The guy shifts confusedly.
"What. No, I'm not. I'm a..."
He looks like he's trying to remember something.
"Gov'nment official! Yes, that's it. The king himself said to me, 'stand in that road and collect the toll, yes?' So I do. The king's so wonderful, isn't he?"
You whisper into Faervel's ear.
"Would he actually do that?"
"Gods, no."
You think for a little.
"How much is this toll?"
"Thirty Wisps." the totally not a bandit said proudly.
"HOLY INFLATION! THIRTY WISPS!? SUPPLIES IN TOWN WERE BARELY THAT!"
"King's orders."

>[]Draw your sword.
>[]Time to introduce fear. Shoot his ass.
>[]Well, I guess if it's the king...
>[]Other.

>[]Time to introduce fear. Shoot his ass.

but don't actually hit him, just a warning shot

>>1174942
You sigh and draw your glock.
"Tha's a funny-lookin' wallet--"
You shoot the ground right next to the bandit's foot, scaring both him and your bodyguards.
"Adasser's pubes!--noisy sorcery, that. However!"
Faervel's eye twitches.
"Krystal, what was that--"
The bandit whistles, and six of his green-clad friends emerge from the woods. Three wield bows from tree branches, two have swords, and one is armed with a battleaxe. Fucking gankers.
"We've 'ad enough of this shite. Hand over the money and you're free to go."

>[]This isn't sorcery, and it's a hell of a lot more than noisy! (Pick a target. No roll check due to unfamiliarity with firearms)
>[]Draw your sword.
>[]Hand over the money.
>[]Other.

>>1175082
>This isn't sorcery, and it's a hell of a lot more than noisy! (Pick a target. No roll check due to unfamiliarity with firearms)
Shoot the bard

>>1175342
"Oh, it's a lot more than noisy."
You aim your gun at the bandit's head and blow his brains out.
"No, Mathas!" one of his friends screams.
Everyone is terrified of you. One of the archers throws his bow to the ground and raises his arms.
"I-I surrender!"
"Dammit, Gareth!"
Everyone tenses up, preparing for a fight.

>[]We'll be going now.
>[]I'm taking Garett as a hostage.
>[]Kill them all. (Roll 1d100)
>[]Other.

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>1175467
>Kill them all. (Roll 1d100)
In the name of Alagos!

>>1175490
You take out one of the tree snipers with a well-placed shot. The other's arrow makes it through a chink in your armor and sinks into your shoulder. Hurts like a bitch, but nothing serious. You snap the shaft away and dodge the axe bandit's attack, holstering your gun and drawing your sword.
"They from Cinderfall?" one of the sword bandits asks, fending off Jaylen's whip.
"No. Never seen this crest before." the axe bandit grunts, his axe bouncing off your shield.
You step in and stab the bandit through the heart. Jaylen slice's through her opponent's threat, and Faervel beheads hers.
You dodge a stab from the remaining bowman, pull out your shotgun, and blow his head off.
All that's left is Gareth, the Imp bandit who had surrendered. You point your gun at him as he tries to flee.
"L-look, I surrendered, I can help you. Please, whatever it is you're doing, I'll do my best to assist you. You have my word on that, because I don't want to be on the bad side of anyone who carries that thing and OH GODS PLEASE DONT KILL ME!"

>[]...Keep an eye on him, Faervel.
>[]*bang*
>[]Raise his hopes. *Then* shoot him.
>[]Other.

>>1176014
>...Keep an eye on him, Faervel.
Remind him to become a follower of Alagos soon!

>>1176014

spread the word of the power of Alagos, plus, our faith allows pre-marital sex

>>1176059
Gareth sighs in relief.
"Thank the gods."
You toss him an amulet.
"No, thank Alagos. I'm on a mission to gather followers for him."
He slips it over his head.
"Oh... I can already help, then. The old storm order's headquarters is located just outside the next city. It's become a den for criminals now."
"Really? Why hasn't it been cleared out?"
"It's an excellent stronghold, even manned by degenerates."
Faervel keeps a close eye on the Imp as you travel. She doesn't see him steal anything, but he could just be really good.
Still, he knows his way around, and gets you to the city via rarely-used paths.
You sit at an outdoor cafe, eating a humble dinner and staring at the stronghold, which is constantly under siege by the city guard.
"How do they eat..?"
Gareth rips his meat apart with his fangs.
"Corruption and sneakery, mostly. There's rumors of an emergency food supply in case the order was ever attacked, but I'm unaware of the details."

>[]You can find or build a new headquarters just fine. But where should you do so..?
>[]Gather the guard and prepare an assault.
>[]Sneak in and clear the place out from the inside, Ocean's 11 style.
>[]Sleep on it, maybe ask Alagos for guidance.
>[]Other.
(Also, if you're taking the stronghold, when will you do so?)

>>1176282
>Sleep on it, maybe ask Alagos for guidance.
Praying solves all problems rite

>>1176498
Gareth pays for your rooms and food with probably stolen money. You walk up and pause next to the two different rooms.
"Well, I wouldn't want to infringe on your ladies' privacy--"
"Hell no. Jaylen's staying in there with you."
Faervel gets ready for bed, while you remove your armor and kneel on the floor.
"...what's 'k'?"
"Shh. Alagos, I'd really like some help. We're going to take a fortress and we need all the help we can get."
...
Nothing. You sigh and get into bed, drifting to sleep.
You're looking down at your body.
Aw, what the hell. Your hair looks stupid like that. It looked better in the mirror.
You get whisked away toward the stronghold. It had obviously once been a richly decorated place, but looked more like a desecrated cathedral. Shanties built from altars, that sort of thing.
You're directed toward several points of interest. A lone guard on the west wall, a hidden tunnel leading from beneath a bridge to the chapel, a carelessly ajar window shutter, and what look to be prostitutes being snuck in through a side door.
The first floor consists of a training hall, the atrium, an armory, the chapel, and stairs leading down to a vault. The second floor is mainly offices, garrison quarters, and battlements. The third floor consists of higher-level offices, and a connecting tower holds the Inquisitor's chambers.
You're whisked over to a nearby hilltop, next to Alagos. He glares at the stronghold.
"It's not even mine, and I'm still pissed. I'd like to help, but it's 'against the rrrrrules.' I can give you plenty of info for a kickass plan, though."
You try to speak. There's no sound.
"Yeah... you're just a soul. No vocal cords. While I'm sure you have something funny for me to add to my book of Krystal quotes, I'll pass on this one. Good luck stormin' (heh, get it) the castle. Byeeeee."
...
You wake up in the morning, running through the information you were given with everyone else.
"And thusly I've concluded that..."

>[]Alagos is a dick.
>[](insert heist plan here)
>[]We will ignore all this and gas the place.
>[]It's more trouble than it's worth.
>[]Other.

>>1177082
>We will ignore all this and gas the place.

>>1177919
"We'll help the guard storm the place."
You weren't actually going to gas the place. You'd probably get drawn and quartered for mass murdering.
Gareth frowns.
"I don't think we should just throw away information. We could use what you saw to help in the attack."
Faervel shrugs.
"I don't really care either way."

>[]No means no, op. Just hurry up and get to the WAAGH!
>[]Come up with a strategy to help with the attack.
>[]Other.

>>1178163
>>[]Come up with a strategy to help with the attack.

disguise as prostitutes(use t6he biochainmail to turn into a bikini or something), get in the side door and proced to slaughter them all sneakily sneaky like

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>>1179226
>That trip

Gareth rubs his chin.
"It'd probably work. Horny bastards. Thing is, you won't be able to bring your weapons with you. I'll do that for you, I guess."
Faervel sighs.
"I knew this would happen eventually..."

>[]Alright. Let's go!
>[]We still need to _____!
>[]Other.

>>1179302
>oh noes! My molested ass got exposed.

Let's go

>>1179848
You get up from the table, drinking the last of your vanilla-tasting drink.
"Okay, let's get changed."
Faervel and Gareth look up at you.
"N-now?"
"Yeah, screw it. We're nice and rested up."
You leave your clothes in your room and coat your entire body in your bio-mail. You'll show some skin when you get closer to the stronghold.
You, Jaylen, and Faervel hand your weapons to Gareth, who somehow shoulders them all (except your shield and the rpg. That wouldn't work well where you're fighting).
"Alright." he says, adjusting your sawed-off gingerly. "Act like I'm paying you to do this."
You run over to the side door just as the guard patrol's passed. You basically copy Cortana's outfit. Not like anyone can sue you for plagiarism.
Gareth knocks on the door, which is cracked open. A shifty-looking eye greets you.
"Gareth here. Got some wenches and loot. I'll be passing out this stuff once I've gotten a good look at it."
The door opens further, and you walk in. The grimy catboy guarding the door slaps your ass as you walk by.
Gareth leads you through filthy corridors full of ramshackle tents, eventually stopping near one and kicking some vagrants away.
"Get in here."
"Hey, Gareth! You made sure those two are clean?"
"HEY, YOU FUCKED HER TOO! Godsdamned Ustrarians..."
He ushers you into the tent and growls.
"Krystal, when did you--? Never mind. Here're your weapons... what's our priority?"

>[]The gate.
>[]Whoever's the leader of this dump.
>[]Lets have a legit foursome. Purely to fool the others, of course.
>[]Other.
(Also, roll 1d100)

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We've reached page 9. New thread will be up soon.

>>1183396
New thread.