>>1004606
>Try to bribe your wife with kisses and love.

We really need to put an end to this waifu shit and start to devout more to Liz.

>>1004621
So one vote for making Ren more mature.
I'll consider this an option to make Ren more mature.

Bumping.

>>1004606

>Try to bribe your wife with kisses and love.

Oh Jaysus

>>1004606
>Try to bribe your wife with kisses and love.
>Tell her a selective truth? (Choose a select few)

Roll me a 1d20+4 to try and bribe your wife.

+3 if you can try to change the subject.
+3 if you can promise to spend even more time around her.
+2 if you can continue to show your love to Liz.
+2 if you can worry how Liz would react if you told her you had fucking 51 one lovers.
+1 if you can panic with your headmates.

Rolled 15 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1004847

Rolled 14 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>1004847
>If Liz found out about 51 lovers
Our relationship levels would crash harder than the planes into the twin towers

>So Liz I've been working on a little projects that if it works we can stay in contact over long distances. Even help schedule dates so we spend more time together and all of that.

To our headmates
>Guys we have to whittle down waifu number to the bare minimum as quickly as possible.

Go to sleep and wake up and new threads already up.
Good way to keep me disoriented

14+15=29

Good Success!

Your face is one of "oh shit" and "attempt to be nice"

[red]"Well, Liz... I've been working on a little project that if it works we can stay in contact over long distances. Even ehlp schedule dates so we spend more time together and all that."[/red]

"You know... We should really spend time together with our children. It would be nice..."

[red]"Maybe."[/red]

[red]OH FUCK GUYS WE NEED TO WHITTLE DOWN THE WAIFUS WE CAN'T LET LIZ FIND OUT![/red]

[i]Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck... Erh... Well... I don't think we should just dump them cold...[/i]

[i][red]There's only one way to do this. Get rid of the harem and servants and stop tumbling them. Bam, that's at least forty.[/i][/red]

[i]God, don't tell me we have to go to... Being friends.[/i] Flames says this with some minor disgust.

[red]Come on, we're friends with... One yuan-ti college student.[/red]

[i][red]Fuck... Now I feel bad about getting that many lovers. I didn't think it was that much.[/i][/red]

"Ren? Are you alright? You look worried."

[red]"I'm erh... I'm fine Liz."[/red]

"I mean, it's nice your willing to spend time with me and the kids... It means a lot Ren."

[red]"Erh, yeah..."[/red]

"So... I know your back so I'll ask you later about your lovers. How was the trip with Revenaris? Was it fun?"

Actions

>Oh. You could say that, sure.
>...He got pissed at me for letting my mom be a ruthless slaver.
>I mean, we kind of gotten along at the end...
>We kinda... You know. Has the opposite of a father-son moment.
>I think I slightly alienated him. Just a little.
>Write-In

>>1004883
>I mean, we kind of gotten along at the end...

>>1004883
>I mean, we kind of gotten along at the end...
>He's kind of mad I letting my mom be a ruthless slaver.

>>1004862
So I have crunched the numbers on the waifu's lads. Assuming we get rid of all the drow but the twins, the elven slaves and the rest of the inter-dimensional harem then we lose about 37 or so of the lovers.

At this point, if we stop counting those we want to date but haven't done much with (e,g the yuan-ti girl, the gore-queen and Constaniza) we can drop it another 4 or so. This cuts off a lot of good characters and honestly is something we need to work on, what we are willing to cut is a difficult topic.

This still leaves us in a fairly dangerous place. I would suggest we spend the coming thread just romancing the shit out of Liz and trying to cut down on the waifus.


>>1004883
>...He got pissed at me for letting my mom be a ruthless slaver.

>>1004894
We we can cut out costaniza.
We'll never tap that so she's a friend.
And while the gore queen sounds nice to conquer we would probably only do that once.


But I don't want to cut the Yuan-Ti.

Also I think we can work in one(1) kobold woman if we can argue the fact that Solaire wants a wife.

>>1004905
True, we can certainly argue their cases. Now just some questions; who are Jasmine and Katariina. I feel like I know the second one but who are they?

>>1004915
Katariina is an elven woman we tumbled when we went on our enraged elven rape spree(damnit anons) and gave birth to mikhal an elven bastard.

Jasmine is a waifu candidate (haven't bedded her yet) she's Half Japanese iirc with a traditional father.
She's also a copper colored half dragon.


I don't want to consider katariina a lover.
I just want to make amends for the rape.

>>1004920
Oh those ones! Yeah we can definitely convince Liz to accept the case of Katariina but Jasmine isn't viable probably, for now at least.

>>1004915
Oh and Jamsine is also a college student and member of the Draconia Firma and is currently our best way of figuring shit out about them.
We should use her to help us approach them directly

[red]"Well, we kind of gotten along at the end... But he got pissed at me for letting my mom be a ruthless slaver."[/red]

She sighs.

"You should really know that he's sensitive about that sort of stuff, you know."

[red]"I know..."[/red]

"Well... Hopefully he'll forgive you. He's just angry at his grandmother, right?"

Actions

>Erh... No. He's pissed at me too for letting it happen.
>I'm trying to get along with him.
>I kind of... Well, I fucked up a little by arguing with him.
>Why don't you show him some motherly love? He loves that stuff.
>He'll be fine.
>...How's Maria?
>Write-In

>>1004951
>Erh... No. He's pissed at me too for letting it happen.
Like we're obligated to fight evil and injustice.
If that were the case we'd be working in the warharmmer verse right now.

>>1004951
>Erh... No. He's pissed at me too for letting it happen.
>I kind of... Well, I fucked up a little by arguing with him.

[red]"Erh... Well, no. He's pissed at me too for letting it happen. And I kind of fucked up a little by arguing with him."[/red]

She sighs a bit.

"Well... Oh! I nearly forgot... So I've been getting this mail from a rather strange man..."

[red]"Mail?"[/red]

"You know. Love letters, that sort of thing. You know, complimenting my scales and breasts, sending cut outs of my photograph in magazines. Weird."

Actions

>Oh.
>...Who ever the fuck it is, I will fuck their shit up.
>Internalize how badly you will fuck this guy up.
>Mind if I ask where he is?
>Oh, he'll stop sending it.
>You should just deal with it yourself.
>Eeeh... I don't really care, sorry.
>Write-in

>>1004970
>Mind if I ask where he is?
>I'll go 'talk' to him(Read: Beat the shit out of him)

If it's that fucking neck beard from Jupiter knows how many threads ago.
Then we have a new mutagen test subject

[red]"Mind if I ask where he is?"[/red]

"I don't know, there's no address. It shows up in the mail room though. Usually around midnight."

Weird. Maybe you should investigate there first... Well, at midnight to be specific.

[red]"Thank you..."[/red]

You cuddle with Liz for a bit.

"Ren, I love you."

[red]"I know."[/red]

"...Oh... Just curious..."

[red]"What?"[/red]

"Erh... Do your uh... Other heads talk?"

[red]"Why are you asking?"[/red]

"Just... You know. No reason."

Actions

>I mean, they do. Sometimes.
>They mostly just talk to me in my head.
>...They're actually completely different personalities.
>Nope. (Lie)
>...What, did you grow a second head?
>Write-In

>>1005003
>...They're actually completely different personalities.
>Mostly talk in our heads. Me, flames, and Solaire.
>...What, did you grow a second head?

[red]"They're actually completely different personalities... But we mostly talk in our heads. Me, Solaire, and Flames. But why are you asking? Did you grow a second head?"[/red]

"I mean..."

She cuddles up to you, a little worried.

"...Yeah. It's a... She calls herself Gwyn."

[red]"Oh."[/red]

"I kinda... I'm just a little worried..."

Roll me a 1d20+5 to put her fear at rest.

+3 if you can provide scientific explanation why she grew a second head with it's own personalty.
+2 if you can daww over her being so worried about growing a second head.
+2 if you can reassure her and calm her.
+1 if you can think how hot she'd be with TWO heads.

Also, technically Ren has 52 lovers. I forgot about Lynea.

Rolled 1 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>1005021
>It's a random beneficial mutation dragons get sometimes. It increases intelligence and mental acuity by giving you more brain to work with also said other head can have a elemental breath similar to or different from your own. It's adorable seeing you worry over this but don't worry. I have great experience with this I can explain some things.

This means that technically we're pleasing two women for the price of one making this technical polygamy.


And we should explain the whole mental space she can create and the fact she can let her other head pilot the body if so desired.

>>1005032
Muthafucka

Well anon.

Critical Failure!

[red]"Well, it's a random mutation we get sometimes. It increases ones intelligence and mental acuity by giving you more brain, and the other head can have a scientific elemental breath similar or different from your own. But really ,it's adorable seeing you worry over this. By the way. you can create a whole mental space you can rest in and she can control your body."[/red]

She seems a little... Worried.

"T-that's... I don't want to share my body with another person..."

[red]"It's fine..."[/red]

"Can you get rid of it at all? It's... It's actually kind of scaring me."

You are not helping.

[red]"Seriously?"[/red]

"I don't want a second voice in my head... I mean, for God's sake she encourages me to be seductive with my breasts."

[red]"Really?"[/red]

"Well... I mean, she likes it. I kind of would like smaller breasts, Ren."

Shit.

Roll me a 1d20+5 if you can get her to stop worrying.
+3 if you can compliment her breasts and why Gwyn is right.
+3 if you can tell her why having a second head is so awesome.
+1 if you can tell her why your headbros are so cool. (Additional relations with Flames and Solaire!)

File: download (22).jpg (11 KB, 234x215)

11 KB JPG

>>1005043
>>1005054
Hmmm I don't like this

Rolled 12 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>1005054
>Firstly your breasts are amazing and soft and beautiful so Gwyn has a point. Also they can give you advice and keep you company. Plus they're perfectly trustworthy advisors. Hell I get advice from Flames and Solaire all the time and we talk about stuff all the time. And really the only way I could get rid of her is by killing her.

Rolled 12 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1005054
Pls call her Gwynevere. It's like calling Franzizka Frank.

Fine senpai.

Allowing samefagging if you can continue to tell her why her breast are great and why your headbros are so awesome.

File: images (3).png (5 KB, 255x198)

5 KB PNG

>>1005068
>Trying to get us to risk a one.
I'm fine with a 12 desu

>>1005068
I'm fine

12+12=24
Borderline Success!

[red]"Firstly your breasts are amazing and soft and beautiful so Gwynevere has a point. Also they can give you advice and keep you company. Plus they're perfectly trustworthy advisors. Hell I get advice from Flames and Solaire all the time and we talk about stuff all the time. And really the only way I could get rid of her is by killing her."[/red]

"Oh... I'm just... Well, I'm worried with all the mutations my body is going under, Ren... What if one day I get... Two tails? Or my skin falls over?"

Roll me a 1d20+4 to try and calm her down.

+3 if you can tell her why mutations are usually good.
+2 if you can provide scientific explanation and definition of why her body is undergoing mutation.
+2 if you can get her to stop worrying.

Rolled 9 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1005098

Rolled 6 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>1005098
>Liz the mutations won't kill you. They're almost always good and give you things like better wings, muscles, shapeshifting. Helpful things.
>You're having mutations because you're constantly evolving like I do. They're sudden changes brought on by the environment and are here to help you basically. I once mutated from eating nuclear material. It's just magic and science. So come on, relax, deep breaths. Think of the benefits of having someone you can trust 100%

>>1004894

Juuuuuust saying, we don't need to tumble them to keep them around as good characters. They may have special, useful traits just waiting to be discovered.

>>1005128
I still want my UR Yuan-Ti

Allowing samefagging if you can continue to tell her why having a second head is cool.

Honestly I was kinda annoyed when anons kept trying to sleep with Constaniza. She didn't want to be anything but friends but that didn't stop anons. Then once you came back she begrudgingly became your "girlfriend" because she felt guilty.

Rolled 2 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>1005154
It was so cringe. I wasn't even pushing for it. I was asleep when they talked her into it. And every attempt to bed her I wasn't even pushing for.
She isn't and never will be a lover.

>Also you might be able to do a cool new breathe attack you didn't have before. You should ask her what it is.

I know senpai.


9+11=9/11
I mean 20.

Borderline Failure!

[red]"Liz,mutations won't kill you. They're almost always good and give you things like better wings, muscles, shapeshifting. Helpful things. You're having mutations because you're constantly evolving like I do. They're sudden changes brought on by the environment and are here to help you basically. I once mutated from eating nuclear material. It's just magic and science. So come on, relax, deep breaths. Think of the benefits of having someone you can trust one-hundred percent, ok?"[/red]

She still seems a little weirded out, and the two of you cuddle for a bit...

Actions

>Talk to Liz about something?
>Maybe you should leave. You've spent plenty of time with Liz.
>...Just cuddle with Liz.
>Wait until midnight and wait for the person to deliver the mail in the mailroom? They have to slip it in personally.
>Go talk to someone?
>Write-In

>>1005331
>Go talk to someone?
Solaire

>>1005331
>Go talk to someone?
Solaire I guess
Let's also go to our lab.

You decide to talk to Solaire.

[red]Hey, Solaire?[/red]

[i][red]Yeah?[/i][/red]

[red]Do you want to talk?[/red]

[i][red]About what?[/i][/red]

Actions

>How about women?
>Why are you a Christian?
>Well... How do you think things are going so far?
>So... Mind if I ask if you have any political advice?
>Any advice regarding the kobold tribe?
>So... How is it, being just a head?
>So... Liz has a second head...
>Write-In

>>1005378
>Well... How do you think things are going so far?
>Any advice regarding the kobold tribe?
I don't even know ow why any anons wanted to talk to him.

I'l be back in a few hours anons.

>>1005378
>>Well... How do you think things are going so far?
>>So... How is it, being just a head?

Back anons.

Well, how do you think things are going so far?

I mean, I think everything alright. The only things I really have to complain about is the worship of us and also the fact we ate those slaves.

Didn't like it?

I felt bad after seeing our servants be so happy we were moving elsewhere... And besides, we could of done something.

Oh.

Anyways. about the private cult worship... I'm a catholic and therefor a buzzkill, but I just don't know if it's worth it to become a god.

Really?

I mean, that means leaving our women, people, children, and everything behind... I don't really like that prospect... Also our mom wouldn't exactly be able to coddle us.

...Yeah... Huh. Well, any advice regarding the kobold tribe?

Less fucking women, more technological advances. Maybe we can bring things over there and try to advance them faster.

Yeah...So how is it, being just a head?

...It's kind of boring. And since I can rarely do anything, it annoys me that I can't defend maidens, praise the sun, or otherwise defend the innocent.

What's with your knightly attitude anyways?

...I don't know. It just feels... You know, right. Plus, women love knights...

True that.

Anyways, got anything else you want to talk about?

Well... I mean, we should really cut down on the women we're seeing. I don't want to lie to Elizabeth... Also, I kinda want to meet her second head. Can you do that?

I'll look into it.

You return to reality after you hear a knock on the door.

"My lord?!"

"What?"

"One of your wife's eggs have... One of them has hatched sir!"

That is... Awfully remarkable. It's barely been even a week!

Liz begins to get dressed, and so do you....

You go to see your new child, and as you walk to where the eggs are resting, you can't help but wonder why one of her eggs have hatched already.

You eventually get to the gardens, and go to where the eggs are...

It seems three of them are growing massively, having increased by fifteen feet easily, with two of them staying a similar size... You also see a broken egg... Which is smaller then the rest.

You begin to look around for, and eventually run into a small child-like half-dragon, with stubby legs, white scales, and innocence in their eyes... He also looks fairly adorable from his short and stubby legs... He's only a foot larger then a kobold, thanks to his dwarf-like size.
Then again, he is only a child.

You walk up to him and you look down at it..
It also seems to be a male...

Actions

>...Erh... Hi? See if he can talk.
>Name him something...
>...Yell for Elizabeth to get over here?
>...Pat him on the head?
>Erh... What child? You aren't having a manlet as a son.
>Sigh in minor disappointment it's not a full-fledged dragon.
>Write-In

>>1007972
>...Erh... Hi? See if he can talk.
Not talking shit
Iirc they are probably stronger than when we where a kid.

Also, from your observation, here's what you can see.
This is not all of his inherited mutations, he still has things you might not even know about.

He seems to be quite muscular, actually. Well-chiseled to be fair.
He also has quite stubby legs (A little more stubby then how yours were!)
He also seems to have a prehensile tail.
And finally, he also seems a little more hungry then usual.

>>1007978
So
>Muscular
>Stubby legs(don't laugh at this it gives a strength buff)
>Prehensile tail
>Hungry

>>1007978
Oh and you archived thread 45 right?

You decide to check to see if he can talk.

'Hi?"

He doesn't seem to understand too much...

Daily Reminder that we gave Liz a mutation where all our children will take until 21 to be fully functioning adults. Not sure if he can talk right now.

He seems curious about you and begins to poke at your skin. He seems a little intrigued about your scales.

It kind of tickles a little, he has quite adorable little claws.

Actions

>Call for Elizabeth?
>Name him...
>Pick him up?
>Try to teach him Draconic.
>Dread that you have to actually be a father now.
>...Poke him back, of course.
>So uh... Can 'you understand me? Nod your head once for yes.
>Pat his head?
>...Get him some food. He seems to be hungry.
>Write-In

>>1007985
I believe so.

>>1007987
>Call for Elizabeth?
>Pat his head?
>...Get him some food. He seems to be hungry.

But I don't see I there

>>1007989
Oh. Well, I'll double check anon.

You yell for Elizabeth, who comes running. You begin to pat your child on the head, which confuses him a little.

Elizabeth comes around the corner... And dawws like women do at seeing their child.

Of course, you let Elizabeth daww while you decide to make your child some food...

How much are you going to make for him?

>Just make a small meal. He's a child after all. (0.5 of a normal person's meal.)
>A normal meal. He's a half-dragon after all...
(1 of a normal person's meal.)
>...More then average. He's your son and might of inherited a bit of your hunger. (1.5 of a normal person's meal.)
>Double the portion. (Twice as much as a normal person's meal.)
>Fuck it, make a large meal. As in your everyday breakfast for him. (Four times as much as a normal person!)
>Write-In

>>1007991
>...More then average. He's your son and might of inherited a bit of your hunger. (1.5 of a normal person's meal.)

Well if I name this kid I'll just make the trek to thread 1

You decide to make him more then average, and after a bit bring him a rather large meal.

After a bit you bring him some cooked sausage, eggs, bacon, and a slice of pizza and some toast with cinnamon on it....

It takes him a few minutes to eat all of this, and seems now only a little hungry, but quite happy. He gives you a hug, and you pat him on the head.

"Ren... I can't believe he hatched so early..."

"Yeah... He's pretty cute, isn't he?"

"Yeah... God... Look at his little adorable legs."

Actions

>Yeah... They're pretty cute. You have cute short legs too you know.
>...Kiss Elizabeth?
>Hey, Liz? What do you want to call him? (He'll most likely be given a British name!)
>Name him yourself (Give him a draconic name or write-in!)
>Make out with Liz? She is rather happy right now...
>Liz? I'll try to be the best father I can be to him, alright?
>Come on, let's get back to the bedroom.
>I'll see you later. I should be doing something besides being with you.
>Pick the child up to follow you?
>Write-In

>>1007997
>Yeah... They're pretty cute. You have cute short legs too you know.
>...Kiss Elizabeth?
>Name him yourself (Give him a draconic name or write-in!)
Draconic name
Draconic is pseudo latin anyways

"Yeah... They're pretty cute. You have cute legs too you know..."

You give a kiss to Elizabeth on the mouth... Which begins to become making out... While you think of a name for your child.

>Richaraus
>Marinius
>Bismaraius
>Cassiausnos
>Aulusaviik
>Bismark
>Gustavius
>Solaraius
>Write-In

>>1008001
>Aulusaviik
So the reason he hatched first was because his egg was bigger.

Well, I'm going to wait for a few more votes and get some sleep, sorry.

>>1008001
>Aulusaviik

>>1008001
>Aulusaviik

Back anons, but probably not for long, got a presentation I got to do to my boss.

Wish me luck senpai.

You decide to name him... Aulusaviik. It's a rather hard name to pronounce, but it'll work.

You make out with Liz for a minute, and she lets go and the two of you stop kissing.

"So... What are we going to do with him?"

[red]"Aulusaviik?"[/red]

She seems not to really like that name.

"...Aulusaveek?"

[red]"There's no e."[/red]

"...It sounds a little... Well, I mean... Could we do something easier to pronounce?"

[red]"Eh. It's fine... Just call him Aulus."[/red]

"Yeah... So... I mean... What are we going to do with him?"

[red]"Why are you asking me?"[/red]

"I mean... Well... I have no idea, really."

She seems to expect you to do something with him... Like a dad.
Great.

And judging from her sentencing, she seems to want to come along to help.

Actions

>Well... Let's do something with the little guy later, alright?
>...We should probably teach him some things.
>Let's do something fun together. Like a family.
>...Why don't you read him a story or something? Put that maternal story to work? I'll uh... I'll help somehow.
>Well... Maybe we should get a baby sitter?
>...You don't see any chaos taint in him... But you just can't be sure. Tell Liz your going to take him to the lab and just take a look at him...
>Write-In

>>1008136
>Write-In
"We could go to a park and just relax. Perhaps being a picnic basket or something."

>>1008136
>Let's do something fun together. Like a family.

Road trip family vacation to Sicily

>>1008136
>Let's do something fun together. Like a family.
Where were the harpys again?
I forget.

And good luck OP

>>1008141
Greece but I don't remember where in Greece.

>>1008143
Yeah I know Greece but it was one of three places
Sicily
Sparta(I think)
And somewhere else.

Welp archive time again

>>1008145
It was Sicily. Centaurs are in Hungary and Giants in Romania.

>>1008147
Thanks that sounds about right.
So i guess it's harpy form now.
I know for sure we already have centaur form.

Gonna update real fast since I'm about to do it.

Feel free to come up with ideas on what to do for the family fun time.

>>1008150
Watching the wildlife. We need a new form anyways.
Maybe even approach the harpys.
Food.
Go check out the tourist traps.

>>1008150
Family trip to Sicily.
>Sunny
>Beaches
>Ancient ruins
>Don't have to do evil shit to leave

There's also harpies there but it's more important to spend time with family then getting a form that we probably won't use. Especially since harpies are all female/not male.

I'm back for now, just finished my presentation and about to go interview someone.
Great.

Anyways, anons want to do a family trip to Sicily?

>Yes! Sounds like fun!
>Nah...
>Bring some other people besides Liz and Aulus?
>Write-In

>>1008313
>Yes! Sounds like fun!

>Bring some other people besides Liz and Aulus?
Just send a general call out to our family and ask our wives. They can come if they want but we aren't expecting them all to come unless they really want to.

>>1008313
>Bring some other people besides Liz and Aulus?
Renexizia and Joan.
We haven't spent enough time with them.
Maybe even mikhal too.

So he has good memories of us who the Elven Dominion comes knocking

Oh hey, speaking of family...

Could anons just roll me a 1d20+4 please?

Also, I have a really fucking bad headache from stress so expect some slow updates as I try to lessen the pain.

Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1008529
>Stress
What happened

Rolled 9 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1008529

Back anons, sorry about the huge fucking delay, but I had a heavy workload and passed out as soon as I got home.

18+4=22

"Well... Why don't we go on vacation? I could bring some of my wives... The whole family, really. To Sicily."

"...Do you really have to bring your other wives?" She can't help but sigh a little bit.

Actions

>...Well... They're an essential part of this family.
>I don't... Sorry for mentioning them.
>...Come on, I know you like them.
>Fuck it, make out with her some more.
>Write-In

>>1011145
>I don't... Sorry for mentioning them.
If anything only bring Chrysoula because of Flames. Other then that we should only bring our kids.

>>1011145
>I don't... Sorry for mentioning them.

"I don't... Sorry for mentioning them. Would you care if I brought Chrysoula?"

Roll me a 1d20+4 if you can convince her.
Also, you have gained +5 relations with Flames.

+3 if you can argue why she'd be adorable around children and what she could do with them.
+2 if you can tell her why she's better than Frankizka.
+2 if you can also mention how fun it'd be in bed with her.

Rolled 3 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1011207
She's basically a giant stuffed plushie. Plus she's nice and would probably be good with children.
Telling her why Chrysoula is better is retarded and feeds her autism.

>>1011217
Well, better then Frankizka, I meant. Not better than Liz.

Anyways, allowing samefagging so long as you can do one of the options or give reasons why it's better for Chrysoula to go rather than Frankizka.

Rolled 19 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1011220
Exactly.
That argument between the two is autistic anyways I don't even know why they're arguing.
It was racism right?

Anyways Chrysoula has big boobs which is nice for sex stuff.

19+9=28

Good Success

"Come on. She's like a giant stuffed plushie. She's nice, good with children..."

You hear Liz sigh a bit.

"...I'd rather not trust a large minotaur who could accidently step on my baby."

"She won't, besides, you'll rarely see her."

"...At least it's not that slut Frankizka..."

"Yeah. Anyways, I'll call you when we're ready to leave."

She nods her head and picks up your child and takes him back to the lair...

"Sir?"

You turn around to see your servant.

"Yes? What is it?"

"There's a tiny problem."

"What is it?"

"...You remember that disease infecting cattle in Ukraine, right?"

"Yes?"

"...There's erh... Reports that it's begun to spread to people as well."

"In Ukraine?"

"Erh... Yes my lord. There's also reports that it might of... Well, it might of spread a little before anyone noticed. To Romania, to be specific."

Shit. If it's mutated... Maybe all that process on a cure was for nothing.

Actions

>...Ha! Romania belongs to Germany. Let them have their disease...
>...I'm curious, what does the disease do to people anyways?
>A monarch's job is never done...
>It's nothing major...
>...Maybe order a quarantine of Ukraine.
>Write-In

>>1011227
...I'm curious, what does the disease do to people anyways?
>A monarch's job is never done...

[red]"Just curious... What does the disease do to people?"[/red]

"I'm not actually too sure my lord. I heard it gave them sores and rashes, or something along that."

Not too major. But still, probably something you should look into.

[red]"Well, I'll try to take care of it. Anything else?'[/red]

"No, my lord."

[blue]I got one. Can you get your mutt to stop talking to me? It's rather annoying.[/blue] says Quoth.

[red]What?[/red]

[blue]He's whining about not having time outside and how he's bored.[/blue]

[red]Oh.[/red]

[blue]...He's also been using me as a chew toy. Can you PLEASE get rid of him? I can hardly tolerate my existence in the Immaterium with him.[/blue]

[red]Really?[/red]

[blue]Have YOU been used as a chew toy? I don't think so. So can you PLEASE get him out of here? Get him some skulls or something.[/blue]

Actions

>Come on, Blondi doesn't need time outside the Immaterium.
>Fine. I guess I can get him out of the Immaterium for a bit.
>Sorry, but I'm kinda busy...
>Man, I kind of forgot about him. Sure.
>Maybe when I go on vacation.
>Write-In

>>1011275
>Sorry, but I'm kinda busy...
I thought we got rid of that cattle disease

>>1011275
>Maybe when I go on vacation.

You were about to and you were curing it, then one of my secret rolls caused it to get worse. Sorry senpai.

[red]Sorry, but I'm kind of busy... Maybe when I go on vacation.[/red]

[blue]Ah, right. So you can get more "time" with your wife in bed, perhaps?[/blue]

[red]Of course.[/red]

[blue]Right. Well, I hope the cosmic gods grant you many ones, as I am slowly ripped apart by a overactive mutt like a chew toy.[/blue]

[red]Wow, thanks.[/red]

You hear a bark in your mind.

[blue]Oh, for Tzeentch's sak-[/blue]

You hear a growl and hear shaking... And you hear Quoth screaming his little bird mouth off.

You decide to terminate communications.

Relations Lost with Quoth: -10
Also, natural ones will tend to be a little worse then usual by warp fuckery.

You of course order the standard "find the infected in Romania" quarantine thing, and you begin to find progress reports on the cure. It seems like it was only held back a little, and should be cured in a month or two. Great.

So of course, you decide to read a newspaper...

Which has a rather interesting headline of... Your wife.

You decide to read the headline.
"STUNNING INTERVIEW WITH QUEEN ELIZABETH III!"

Huh. You read a little... And note that plenty of the camera shots seem to be focused on a particular region of space...

The article seems to portray you as a passionate father who spends most of his time ruling the nation and secretly wants more time with his wife and children. You are overall made out to be a very relatable person, and there's plenty of compliments about both you and Liz.
Huh. How nice of the news to portray you nicely.

Wait a minute...

You look outside, and see it's actually getting a bit dark...
Weren't you going to find that fucking asshole who's leaving love letters for your wife?

>Nah... You have things to do.
>Of course. Beating up people with no life is your job.
>Eh, you should really get ready to leave and go on vacation.
>Write-In

>>1011311
>Eh, you should really get ready to leave and go on vacation.

Going to wait twenty more minutes anons.

You decide against it, and to go on vacation with Liz.

So you go to find Chrysoula, who seems to be exercising by weights in the new gym... She doesn't seem to have any problem with the weights, and seems like it's not even a problem.

Oh, and she's also not wearing a shirt, and has a broken bra on. Which seems to have been attempted to be sewn together.

"Chrysoula?"

She looks as she lifts the weight with a single hand, the other hand behind her head and relaxing her.

"Huh? What do you want Ren? I'm kind of trying to exercise."

"Well, me and my wife are going on vacation... Do you want to come?"

She seems to be a little mixed in relations.

"I just got this gym... Not to mention that awesome walk in closet you got me..."

Roll me a 1d20+4 to convince her to come.
+3 if you can try to get her to think how much fun a vacation would be with you and Elizabeth. Not to mention Flames.
+2 if you can tell her how much exercise she'll be able to get in Sicily and fun activities she and Elizabeth can do together.
+2 if you can compliment her exercising.

Rolled 15 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1011364
Well Sicily is like Greece so there's that

15+4=19

Success!

"Come on, it'll be fun. Sicily is like Greece, so there's that..."

She doesn't seem too convinced.

"I mean, sure. Is Frankizka coming?"

Actions

>Liz doesn't want her along, so no.
>Well, my kids are coming, if they have time...
>It's just you, me, Liz, and my two other heads.
>If you want, I can bring her.
>Of course!
>...Maybe a few other women too, just saying.
>Write-In

>>1011400
>No not really. Just You, Liz and a number of my kids

"No, not really. Just you, Liz, and a few of my kids."

"...Kids?" She seems a little worried.

"Yeah. Something wrong?"

"I mean... Well... Should I be along for this? I mean, what if your kids don't like me or something?"

"What's wrong?"

She seems a little nervous.

"I mean.. Well, what if they're... You know. What if they hate me for loving Flames and by extension you?"

"Really?"

"I mean... Yeah..."
She seems a little worried.

"...What if they hate me for beating that kid up? I mean... I didn't mean to knock him out and put him in a coma." Now she seems nervous and shy, not to mention a little repentant.

Actions

>Try to reassure her that none of your kids will hate or dislike her?
>Come on, it'll be nice to be on vacation again.
>...They won't do anything even if they do hate you. I'm their father.
>They won't care. A few of them are budding polygamists too, I suspect.
>You know, you gave Mikhal a "thing" for huge breasts. And minotaurs. So yeah, don't punch any more of my kids.
>...Well, I think you should really make up with Mikhal. I mean, he's... He's kinda weird about you. Just saying. Also, it won't help you if you avoid him. Try to be nice and get along with him.
>I mean, you can always stay home.
>Write-In

>>1011410
>I mean, you can always stay home.
If anything it's Ren's fault for being a serial rapist who hides the truth.

Going to wait for another post before updating.

>>1011410
>Write-In
"You have nothing to worry about honestly, considering that they know to various degrees that I have more than one partner.

As to their reaction to you knocking someone out, unintentionally I might add, they'll be fine with it. They accepted that I have killed people without so much as a second thought in most cases.

Anyhow I would hate for you to miss this. We can go for walks along beaches, swim or anything else we wish while we are down there."

"Honestly, you have nothing to worry about. All of them know I have more than one partner, and their reaction to you knocking someone out... Unintentionally I might add, they'll be fine with it. They accepted that I have killed people without so much as a second thought in most cases. But I would really hate for you to miss this. We can go for walks along beaches, swim... Anything else, really..."

"I mean... I know... It just seems a little weird Ren... You know... I didn't just knock anyone out, I knocked out their sibling and put him in a coma..."

"Chrysoula..."

"I mean... I don't know any of them either... How would I know how they won't just get mad at me for being a minotaur or something?"

Roll me a 1d20+4 if you can try to convince her again.

+3 if you can give her reasons why they'll like her.
+2 if you can reassure her and calm her down a little.
+3 if you can tell her why your children are alright with you being with multiple partners and a minotaur, no less.
+1 if you can continue to sell her on how much fun it'll be down in Sicily.

Rolled 12 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1011462
There's (probably) Greek Ruins there which is good

Rolled 9 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1011462
"Trust me, they will like you. You are smart, caring, moral and cuter than a button. If nothing else they will trust my judgement of you as a good person.

My children are, I would point out, born of multiple partners from back when I had concubines and are also from many different races. Obviously all draconian to some degree but still.

It will be very fun, but without you it won't be as fun. We can go exploring ruins, dancing, dining, drinking and pick up some new clothes for you. Since you seem to love that new closet so much."


Calming head pats and hugging whilst saying this shit.

>>1011492
Forgot to account for the roll bonuses.


It should in fact be 20+13 and thus 9+13 or 22.

12+13=25

Good Success!

"Trust me, they will like you. You are smart, caring, moral and cuter than a button. If nothing else they will trust my judgement of you as a good person.

My children are, I would point out, born of multiple partners from back when I had concubines and are also from many different races. Obviously all draconian to some degree but still.

It will be very fun, but without you it won't be as fun. We can go exploring ruins, dancing, dining, drinking and pick up some new clothes for you. Since you seem to love that new closet so much..."

She seems convinced, as you headpat and hug her.

"I mean... Well.. Sure. I hope they don't mind."

"They won't, trust me."

"Yeah... So Frankizka isn't coming?"

"Nope."

She seems a little disappointed.

"Oh. So just us, your kids, and Elizabeth?"

Actions

>Yeah, just that.
>Maybe Lynea might want to come?
>Vasura, maybe. She needs to do something besides sex.
>Kiss her?
>I mean... I can find a way to bring along Frankizka, just saying.
>Do you want anyone else along?
>You know, I'll try to get you and Elizabeth to get along... Like friends. (Try to make Chrysoula and Elizabeth befriend each other?)
>Mind if I ask why your exercising so much?
>Write-In

>>1011574
>Kiss her?
Is that even a question? Always kiss the adorable Minotaur!

>Write-In
"I would bring Frankizka but Liz and her don't get along. Still, I'll ask Liz if she really minds if it matters to you that much..? Anyone else whilst I am ask you'd like to come along?"

You kiss Chrysoula on the cheek...


"I would bring Frankizka but Liz and her don't get along. Still, I'll ask Liz if she really minds if it matters to you that much..? Anyone else whilst I am ask you'd like to come along?"

"I mean... No, not really. I mean, I don't really know anyone besides you... Oh, is that uh... Is the kid I hurt coming?"

"Probably."

She seems a little shy and visibly tightens up.

"Could you... I mean... How can I you know... Apologize to him?" She says this a little nervous, cute, and shyly...

"Really?"

"I mean... Yeah. I still feel bad about hurting him."

Actions

>To be fair, he had it coming.
>Come on. I'll take you to apologize to him.
>You don't need to apologize to him, alright?
>...You should probably put a shirt on. I don't want my son getting any ideas, alright?
>Well, let me tell you how to get along with him...
>Write-in

>>1011695
>Come on. I'll take you to apologize to him.
Personally I'm in favor of divorcing Franzizka. Elizabeth is the only wife we need.

"Come on, I'll take you to apologize to him, alright?"

"Right..."

She gets up, and follows you after putting on a shirt.

Roll me a 1d20+3 for how well this apology goes.

+3 if as Chrysoula you can think of a way to apologize to Mikhal.
+2 if you as Renexizious can think of a way to either force your son to accept or to convince him why not to hold it against her.
+2 if you can give him shit for his love of minotaurs.

Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1011752

allowing samefagging if you can think about how to apologize as Chrysoula!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>1011772
Hug him and slightly pick up up to our chest

Still allowing samefagging anons.

Rolled 13 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1011752
Give him a Minotaur plushy like you did Ren

>Come on son if I can get over getting killed I think you're tough enough to give the softie a chance.

I have returned


Faggots

13+8=21

Failure!

You and Chrysoula head down to find Mikhal, and it takes you a minute...
You eventually find him reading one of the comic books you gave him... Chrysoula goes up to him, and gives him a huge, big hug as an apology, and she easily lifts him off the ground.

However, he seems a little scared.

"What the hell!?"

Roll me a 1d20+4 if Chrysoula can calm him down.
+3 if as Chrysoula you can apologize to him.
+2 if you can also show your sorry.
+1 if you can be shy and nervous about it.

Rolled 13 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>1012007
>Show your sorry
You mean act like it?
We could lower our head in shame

>I'm.. sorry for hurting you so bad...I didn't plan that...I kinda lost my temper for a bit... So yeah..

Rolled 11 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>1012007
Put him down, quickly and stumble backwards saying "sorry" repeatedly before hiding behind Ren.

Then just, say "Hello, I want to apologise"

13+10=23

Minor Success!

You see Chrysoula see tempted to nervous and just hide, but she stumbles a bit backwards and puts him down, her head a little lowered in shame.

"I"m sorry! I just uh... I just wanted to come and apologize. For you know... I kinda didn't plan on hurting you so bad. I lost my temper for a minute... So yeah... I'm sorry..."

Roll me a 1d20+3 if he accepts this.
+3 if you can come in and try to further convince Mikhal why he should accept.
+2 if you can get Chrysoula to do something cute.

Also, anons want to divorce Frankizka? Any one else want to put their opinion in?

Rolled 7 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1012060
>Be gone for the day
>Learn you're sick and need rest
>Now I learn they want to divorce frankizka

Can't I die in peace?

No this is retarded.
Don't divorce smol vampire that's autism.


>Come on mikhal I'm not asking you to forget this but to try and move past. Please?

If Chrysoula fidgets adorably that'd be cute.

Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1012060
I want Ren to be more devout to Liz and monogamous, so as to serve as a roll model to others. Also having 2 wives is completely pointless and serves no purpose.

>>1012115
>Ren
>Role model
Now that's just retarded.
Please be honest and just say you consider the other waifus trash.
Because we're too far gone to be a fucking role model.

>>1012130
Ren is a fucking sex addict and it causes problems/obstacles in his life. So instead of being lazy and saying "lol unlimited waifu's" we should gradually out an end to it.

>>1012151
But that's different from up and divorcing frankizka because we regret our own decisions.

>Curb waifu shit
Does not mean
>Divorce the other wives.
It means not being autistic and grabbing 50 other waifus.

>>1012160
And no offence but if I was ren I'd be an addict of something damnit.

>>1012160
>>Divorce the other wives.
We only have two wives, Liz and Franzizka. We married Liz because she was daughter to the queen of England and one of the first women we met. With Franzizka there's hardly any reason as to why besides just to serve as a mega-masochist slut/waifu.

>>1012187
So?
We married her.
Get the fuck over it.
You think I don't have gripes about shit we've done?

We've done what we've done divorcing her because she provided no monetary benefit and the fact you don't like it is autistic.


Move on and do better in the future.
Don't fuck with people because of our past feelings, decisions, errors.

>>1012205
I'm not just saying it because of personal preferences. I'm saying we should loosen ties with Franzizka because Liz obviously doesn't like the fact that we have her, a French vampire, as another wife. And before you even suggest convincing her to think over wise, remember Liz and her opinions on Roman culture.

15+8=23

Good Success!

"Come on Mikhal, I'm not asking you to forget, but to try and move past this, please."

"I mean... I guess."

Chrysoula gives him a crushing hug and puts him on the ground, and apologies are shared.

Chrysoula seems in a much better mood after this, and you begin to head back to begin to pack up.

"I can't wait to get out of this cold weather... It's freezing all the time."

"Yeah..."

"So... Want to talk about anything?"

"Like?"

She thinks...

"Well, I have a question."

"About?"

"...I was kind of wondering if that larger breast thing Liz is happening is by you."

"What? I would never do that!"

"Hey, I'm just asking... Besides, you have an alibi about this stuff."

"Really?"

"I mean... Your into that science and stuff. And you like breasts... So..."

"I'd never do that!"

"Really?"

"Of course."

"Right... I mean... I'm kinda worried about it."

"Really?"

"I mean... I don't want Flames to get attracted to her because of it. I mean... I don't want him to get attracted to anyone else either..."
She seems a little concerned.

"Your worried that Flames is attracted to Elizabeth?"

I've always had been, to be honest.

"I mean... Yeah... I don't want him to go off like you and find other women to... You know."

"Right, right..."

"...Hey, I'm sorry. I know Elizabeth's your wife and you probably like the breasts... I'm sorry for accusing you of doing it, alright?"

She puts a hand on your shoulder, being sympathetic.

"I love it. But yeah..."

"Sorry. It just kinda... You know. Fit you..."

"...It kind of does, huh."

"Yeah... Besides... To be honest, I'd be jealous of Elizabeth if she did get larger breasts."

"Really?"

"I mean... To be honest, yeah. Sorry."
She seems a little embarrassed but seems to be telling the truth.

Actions

>...I don't fucking fit the bill at all for a scientist focused on sex, damn it.
>...Well, thanks for telling the truth, I guess.
>Come on, Liz's boobs can't get any bigger.
>Mind if I ask why you'd be jealous?
>...I mean... I don't see Liz's boobs shrinking any time.
>Try to convince her it's a good thing?
>...You know, maybe if you became a dragotaur you wouldn't have to worry...
>I can always make you bigger Chrysoula.
>Try to comfort Chrysoula?
>...Is that a sort of weird compliment?
>What, you don't want to be used as a pillow?
>Write-In

>>1012220
>Try to comfort Chrysoula?
I have a question about Liz. Now that she has 2 heads, can she upgrade that to grow three.

>>1012219
Yeah and she probably wouldn't like the deal we've made with khorne.
We've made decisions that may have been bad that she probably won't like.
But I'd vote against backing out of the deal with khorne.
She's probably also not going to like the romanization of our empire either.
But that's life.
Compromises and dealing with idiosyncrasies and dumb shit.
>>1012220
>...Well, thanks for telling the truth, I guess.

>>1012229
Yeah, you can.

"Well, thanks for telling the truth I guess."

Roll me a 1d20+4 to comfort her.
+3 if you can tell her it's fine to be jealous.
+2 if you can tell her why Flames will remain with her.
+2 if you can tell her why both of their breasts are equal.

Rolled 7 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1012243
>I think Flames has grown to found of you and your ilk to leave you.

Rolled 8 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>1012243
>Jealousy is natural. You have pride in what you have and having someone come near it hurts said pride. There's nothing wrong with that. And flames will stay with you. He gets mad for you too much for anything else to be true. And in the end your both equal. Circumstances and such means you can't weigh one more than the other. You can relax.


Today sucks.

Allowing samefagging if you can compare the advantages of both of their breasts, and why Flames could never leave her.

Rolled 12 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>1012292
>It's fur vs scale. Or in this case since Liz's scales are soft Fur vs Skin. Both have their own merits and such based on warmth, softness, color and texture. So if flames is the degenerate i know him to be it's extremely unlikely he'll leave you. And I'd rip on him for it

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>1012292
Flames loves you.hes literally in my head 24/7 and will never stop talking about how much he loves you and stuff like that.

"Jealousy is natural. You have pride in what you have and having someone come near it hurts said pride. There's nothing wrong with that. And flames will stay with you. He gets mad for you too much for anything else to be true. And in the end your both equal. Besides, it's fur versus scale. Or in this case, since since Elizabeth's scales are soft... Fur versus skin. Both have their own merits and such, but if I know flames, it's that he's a fucking degenerate furfa- I mean, he's a nice guy, and he's extremely unlikely to leave you. Besides, he loves you a ton. Literally in my head 24/7 and never stops talking about how much he loves you, alright?"

She seems much more happy.

"Yeah... Thanks."

The two of you continue on and begin to head back to the lair, the moon high in the sky.

"...So uh... Ren?"

"Yeah?"

"I mean... Why are you taking me to Sicily?"

Actions

>...Well, I mean, your Flame's wife...
>...You get along decently with everyone, Chrysoula.
>...Because I won't have to listen to arguments with Frankizka and Elizabeth.
>I just like having my minotaur plushie near at all times.
>...Well, I mean, you aren't my first pick.
>Because I love you?
>Write-In

>>1012343
>...Well, I mean, your Flame's wife...
To be nice, give her a Mediterranean vacation and all that.

>>1012343
>...Well, I mean, your Flame's wife...

>Saying we love her
>In front of flames
Fuck right out of here.

>>1012370
-6 gorrilion to relations with QM for not falling for bait.

"Well, I mean, your Flame's wife."

"Oh... Thanks."

She yawns a bit.

"So uh... I'm probably going to get some sleep. What are you going to do?"

Actions

>Why don't I sleep with you?
>Yeah, I should get ready to sleep with Elizabeth tonight...
>Well, I got to catch someone leaving love letters for my wife...
>You want to help me catch someone leaving love letters for my wife?
>Write-In

>>1012394
>Thinking I'd fall for such low quality bait.
It doesn't even have Mecha or Snek women.


>Well, I got to catch someone leaving love letters for my wife...

>>1012394
>Well, I got to catch someone leaving love letters for my wife...

"Well, I got to catch someone leaving love letters for my wife."

"Oh... Well, I'll see you later. Don't hurt them too bad, alright?"

You laugh hysterically as you go to the mail room...

Hopefully you have enough time.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to STAKE OUT!
+3 if you can think about what the fuck your going to do to this guy for leaving fucking love letters to your wife.
+1 if you can be understanding, brutal, or ANGRY AS FUCK.

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>1012419

Rolled 20 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1012419
He will be a new mutagen test subject
(If I have my way the first plant person)
And while i understand our wife is attractive I do not care.

Critical Success.
You wait inside, stealthily..

"Are you really sure this is a good idea?"

"Come on... Who can say they're hitting on the Queen of England?"

"For God's sake we're only in high school and we're infiltrating on government grounds! We'll get kil-"

"Oh shut it you. We'll be fine..."

You hear some heavy footsteps, and you poke your head up through a small window. You see a half-dragon guard armed with a Autokarbiner investigating... A group of three teens. One looks rather nerdy, and the other two seem like average kids.

"What the hell are you doing here?" asks the guard.

"We were uh... We were going to leave a note..."

"For fuck's sake, give it to me. Do your parents know your awake at this hour?"

"N-no..." Says the rather nerdy teen.

The guard sighs.

"I'll give the letter to the lord. Can I get a name?"

"Hey... Wait a minute, you guards don't patrol here. What the hell are you doing here?"

"...Erh... I was just doing my rounds."

You see a letter in the... Back of the half-dragon guard's pocket.

"Now, move along citizen."

"Shit... Well, can I at least leav-"
You hear... More footsteps.

"Who's that? One of your friends?"

You look out to see a rather... Awkward looking man, overweight and with a neckbeard.

"Fuck, I don't know who that is." says one of the teens.

"W-why is everyone here?"

"Why are you here?"

"I-I was just leaving a letter."

"Through the small slit in the window?" asks the guard.

"H-how did you know?"

The guard stammers.

"...Shit. I erh... Well, I mean..."

"Holy fuck, are you here..."

The guard seems pissed off.

"Oh fuck off. She's hot."

"Holy shit, we're here to leave a letter for her too."

Holy fuck it's a convention of virgins outside.

"I-I was leaving a letter for the Queen too."

"...Are we all leaving love letters for the queen?"

"I mean... Yeah?" says the teens. The neckbeard also nods his head.

"...That's uh... Well, that's weird."
You hear MORE footsteps... And see a rather nervous man.

"What the he-"

"Hi." says the guard.
"Yo." says one of the teens.
"H-hi." says the neckbeard as he uses a asthma inhaler.

"W-why is everyone..."

"I guess we're all here to leave love letters, I guess."

"I just saw her in the newspaper. She's fucking hot." Says one of the teens.

"Newspaper?"

"Yeah... Wait a minute... Your that reporter, aren't you?"
The man seems even more nervous.

"H-how did you know?"

"Your wearing your nametag."

"Shit... Well... I mean... She seemed nice, smelled nice..."

"I know, right? I mean, her breasts weren't always that big." says the guard.
Continued!

>>1012532
>The neck beard
I knew it.
>One of our guards
Goddamnit
>The reporter
Fucking hell
>Teenagers
Reeeeeeeeeeee

"Really?"

"Yeah... From what I hear, they've just begun growing randomly."
The teens seem strangely allured by this.

"...Why the hell are you leaving a note anyways?" says the nerdy teen, pointing towards the soldier.

"I mean... Elizabeth's been nice to me ever since my wife... Fucking left me for that piece of shit Stephan in France..." The soldier says, bitterly.

"You?" the nerd points towards the neckbeard...

"I-I mean, I already own the bodypillow... I'm just here for some pictures."

Everyone seems disgusted by this.

"Holy fuck, what are you, somesort of pervert?" says the guard.

"W-what? I thought we were all here to take pictures of naked sleeping women and steal their panties and bras?"

The teens can't help but laugh, and the reporter seems a little shocked and entertained. The guard seems a little pissed.

"Why the fuck are you spying on women? Especially the Queen of England?"

"I-I mean... She's hot... I mean, have you SEEN the bodypillow? I mean, I bet her panties smell nice..."

The guard seems disgusted enough where he headbutts the neckbeard, knocking him out. Fucking deserve it too.

"Fucking weirdo. I'll make sure he gets locked up for this shit."

"Holy shit! You knocked him the fuck out!" says one of the teens.

"So what the fuck's in the card anyways?"

"I mean, mostly compliments. You know. That she smells nice. I think. I don't know."

"What about you, reporter man?"

"I mean... I just wanted to thank her for her interview... I mean, she was... She was something else."

"Right..."

"What about you?" the nerd says to the guard.

"I erh... Well... Just some poetry."

"Wow."

"Yeah... Why the fuck are you here anyways?" the guard says to the nerd...

"I-I didn't want to come here in the first place."

"We're trying to get him laid, and since he helped us get As on our tests..."

"Your trying to get him to Elizabeth?"

"Yeah."

The guard seems entertained.

"Huh..."

You hear... Something in the trees... You can't help but look up...
And see a pair of kobolds fall out of a tree.

The guard seems entertained.

"More guests?"

"Goddamn it Ivictus! You said you could hold me up!"

"You weigh like a brick! You should of taken off that armor!"

"We almost had a shot!"

The guard seems alert, and goes to draw a weapon...

"Are you trying to assassinate someone or something?!"

"What?! We were trying to get a photo on some of these surface women!"

"They're amazing!" the kobold known as Ivictus says.

"Seriously? Have you seen them? I mean, that Elizabeth one though is a real knocker."

"Yeah..."

"So, is there anyone else?!" the guard yells out to the forest.

You look outside... And see nearly a dozen men come out of the bushes or trees armed with cameras and binoculars. There's the occassional werewolf, yuan-ti, or half-dragon too.

"Holy shit, this is... A crowd."

For fuck's sake you have nearly twenty men outside wanting your wife.

What do?

>Head outside?
>...Just wait.
>...Just sigh and head inside.
>Write-In

>>1012602
>Head outside?
What is this shittery.

You head outside...

What are you going to do anons?

First choose your form.

>Dragon form?
>Dragotaur form.
>Half-Dragon form.
>Human Form
>Write-In

Also, how are you reacting?

>Pissed the fuck off!
>Murder-Time Angry Mode.
>Neutral. For now.
>A little smug that your wife is just this attractive.
>Worried that your wife is this "appealing" to people.
>Write-in

>>1012640
>Dragon form?


>Happy
Because we've got all these idiots in one area.
And the first one to run is gonna hurt.

Kind of like when a villain traps the hero.

>>1012660
Mind if I ask how you plan to take care of them?

>>1012675
Extreme intimidation and daemonic laughter.And take the neck beard.
He was planning to steal.

Maybe a threat that if anyone trespasses again it's gonna be a bad time.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to be intimidating.

+3 if you can make fun of them for being pathetic losers, or if you can try to be understanding that your wife is indeed hot, but there's other fish in the sea.
+3 if you can boast how your superior genes mean you get the superior women.
+2 if you can tell them how brutal and hardcore they'll suffer if they come back again.

Rolled 5 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>1012713
>Okay gentlemen I understand my wife is attractive but you'll have to settle for other less attractive women. Maybe in another time if you all had the superior draconic genes I have and half the skill I do you might have had the chance. But now you don't so press your luck too hard and you''re going to suffer long and painful torture at my hands for prolonged periods of time for my amusement. Kind of like this guy

and take the neckbeard

Allowing samefagging if you can continue to boast to them why your wife will always be eternally better then their shit taste.

Rolled 17 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>1012773
>Not that any of you will find a woman half as good as my well endowed wife with superior draconic genes. But you know what they say. The rare for the rare, the common for the common. And you all are common

"Okay gentlemen I understand my wife is attractive but you'll have to settle for other less attractive women. Maybe in another time if you all had the superior draconic genes I have and half the skill I do you might have had the chance. But now you don't so press your luck too hard and you''re going to suffer long and painful torture at my hands for prolonged periods of time for my amusement. Kind of like this guy. But, well... It's not like that any of you will find a woman half as good as my well endowed wife with superior draconic genes. But you know what they say. The rare for the rare, the common for the common. And you all are common..."

You pick up the neckbeard after intimidating the non-important watchers away...

Hey, don't forget about the guard. He lives with us, damn it.

Good point...
You move your head to the nervous looking guard...

Actions

>Would you care to explain why you've been writing my wife... Poetry?
>Set him aflame.
>Nom.
>Intimidate him some further!
>Give him a pay raise for knocking out the neckbeard for you.
>...Oooh, another test subject.
>He has balls for hitting on your wife. Give him a pay raise.
>Make sure you move his station away from Stockholm.
>Fire him!
>...Enslave him?
>...Cut his pay a little.
>...You got the point across. Let the guard go.
>Take care of another one of the important people?
>Write-in

>>1012846
>...Oooh, another test subject.
we are short anyways

I'm going to get some sleep anons... I'll continue once I wake up.

>>1012869
Sure thing QM

>inb4 "shit I can't get any sleep/I just woke up so here's a quick update"

>>1012882
>Quick update becomes hours upon hours of posting

>>1012882
>>1012949
Ha! I actually got sleep anons!

You know... That half-dragon would make an excellent test subject.
You can't help but grab him... And make sure to make your grip as uncomfortable as possible.

...Why the fuck don't we grab all of these fucking deranged fucking retards and experiment on them?! How fucking dare they spy on our fucking wife!!!

Oooh. You kind of like the sound of that.
You turn your gaze to the teens and that nerdy teen, who seem to be backing away slowly...

Actions

>Kill them.
>Let them flee...
>...Eeeh, you aren't really sure experimenting on your own guards will make you very popular...
>More test subjects! You were running low! Grab them!
>Fuck it. Grab everyone as a test subject.
>...Enslave the teens as payment for hitting on your wife.
>No, no. Their hormones make them did it. Their parents on the other hand...
>Make an example out of the guard in your hands?
>Write-In

Rolled 4, 16 + 6 = 26 (2d20 + 6)

Ignore this roll anons.

>>1013924
>More test subjects! You were running low! Grab them!

You grab the teenagers as test subjects, and at this point everyone begins to start running away... You do lock onto the reporter though, who begins to run into the forest...

Flames and Solaire greatly enjoy taking vengeance on these fuckers.

Actions

>Let him flee.
>...Make an example out of him?
>He could report back to his superiors... Well, he can't if he gets heavily mutated. Grab him also.
>Ensue evil laughter.
>Slavery would do him some good. Grab him and enslave him.
>Write-in

>>1013952
>He could report back to his superiors... Well, he can't if he gets heavily mutated. Grab him also.

So much for "nationalist" media

>>1013952
>He could report back to his superiors... Well, he can't if he gets heavily mutated. Grab him also.
>Ensue evil laughter.

You easily grab the fleeing reporter, and leave the rest to run away... You can't help but give an evil laugh however.
You make sure to lock them up in your dungeon to be experimented on... Soon, of course.

You head back up to bed, exhausted, and get into bed with Elizabeth.

"Oh, hey Ren."

"Hi."

"Did you take care of the man leaving those strange letters?"

"Oh, I did."

"...You didn't hurt him too bad? No impalement, decapitation... Nothing like that?"

You sigh.

"Well, I didn't kill him per say..."

"Well, at least you didn't kill him."

"Would you rather have a harsh talking to him?"/

"...I mean, I do like the attention, to be fair. I never got love letters from strangers before."

"Really?"

"I mean... In a weird sense, it's flattering and comforting. But still, strange and degenerate. I would never even think about cheating on you, Ren."

You don't really say anything, but you do hug your minotaur doll a little harder.

"...Well, at least the hooligan was taken care of."

She gives you a kiss on your ear.

Wait... If Liz is still working on that cure for vampirism, she mind find the people leaving her letters... Fuck, I'm not sure if we can actually mutate them... Unless we can hide them or mutate them very soon.

Actions

>...Do you feel like tumbling tonight? I've just had to deal with a very hard problem.
>...Well, Liz... It seems you drew a crowd of desperate men...
>...If I was a muslim, I'd advocate for you to start wearing one of those hijab things.
>...I erh... Well, I kind of plan on mutating them horrificaly. Is that a problem?
>...How would you like to help me "take out the trash" so to speak?
>How dare you say this is cute! People besides me want to have sex with you and you say it's cute?!
>Well, Liz... I think you have a fanclub now.
>Write-In

>>1013963
>...Well, Liz... It seems you drew a crowd of desperate men...
>Would you mind if I used them to help for science? Nothing too cruel just had some things I wanted to try

"Well Liz... It seems you drew a crowd of desperate men, really."

She turns over in the bed to look at you.

"What?"

"I think it was... About thirty men. A few kobolds, werewolves... Even a yuan-ti, I think."

She seems somewhat disgusted.

"Great. Just great. I'm already having a hard time knowing my son is having sex with a snake, now I get werewolves, short lizard midgets, and snakes..."

"Yeah... Well, would you care if I used them for science purposes? Nothing too cruel. Just some things I wanted to try."

"...Such as?"

Actions

>Oh, you know. Making dragons great again and all that.
>...Well... You know. Making them sterile and such.
>...Seeing about turning humans into minotaurs, things like that.
>...Liz, that's a little offensive to yuan-ti.
>...Do you not like Charlemagne's Svana?
>...Nevermind actually.
>Write-In

>>1013971
>Talking shit about Yuan-Ti waifus
1/10

>...Do you not like Charlemagne's Svana?
>Making new species. Improving upon humanity things like that.

"What, do you not like Charlemagne's Svana?"

"I personally don't get why he can't just... You know. Have a human or... Even a half-dragon or something."

"Really?"

"Yes? Don't you want him not to... Be with something weird?"

Actions

>Liz, I don't get why you care about the people Charlemagne loves...
>...Liz, honestly... You sound pretty racist.
>Liz... I mean, he's in love with a devout catholic yuan-ti. You should be happy for him.
>...Well, Revenaris is in love with an elf and an orc...
>...What, do you not like other races or something?
>...Ignore this and continue on trying to reason with her about using them for SCIENCE!
>Write-In

>>1013974
>Well he loves her. He's happy and there's nothing really wrong with her some I'm happy for him.

We should probably avoid telling our kids who they can and can't marry barring extreme circumstances.

"Well he loves her. He's happy and there's nothing really wrong with her so I'm happy for him."

She just sighs and shakes her head.

"I personally detest it."

"Right..."

"Well... What were you saying?"

"Making new species. Improving upon humanity things like that."

"Well, just make sure they seem... Normal, I suppose in the end. As in, can go home and won't feel a thing."

"Really?"

"Well, it's hardly their fault Ren. I'd feel terrible if they ended up as amalgamations."

Actions

>Don't worry, they'll be fine.
>I promise I won't mutate them too much.
>I won't make them into horrible monstrosities, alright? (Lie)
>...So your alright with having people who love you not unable to love you?
>Fine. I won't mutate them too much.
>What constitutes as too much?
>Write-In

>>1013976
>Don't worry, they'll be fine.

"Don't worry, they'll be fine."

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if she believes you.
+3 if you can give her reasons why you won't make them terrible things.
+2 if you can think what your actually going to do.

Heavily increased relations with Solaire and Flames if you can think about treating them horribly for loving your wife.

Rolled 3 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1013982
>Come on if I might have to release them why would I turn them into monsters? I'm not an idiot.

Plant people
If they absorb carbon I wonder if we can shill it on filthy hippies


And then we can do awful things like pushing aspects of the body to the limit.
How strong muscles can be before tear each other to shreds
How tough can skin be before it impedes movement
Etc
Etc.

Allowing samefagging if you can either be inhumane or make fun of the people in love with Elizabeth. And then make fun of Flames for Chrysoula.

Rolled 7 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1013982

Rolled 6 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1013989
Sorry I was doing important things

We could also use them to develop a super weapon that tears apart their DNA and causes errors in the genome

6+9=15

Failure.

[red]"Come on, if I might have to release them why would I turn them into monsters?"[/red]

She sighs.

"Ren, knowing you you'll be jealous enough to make their nerves feel pain every twelve seconds... Judging from the yelling outside, I bet they learned their lesson... Why don't you just let them go, alright?"

[red]"Well... I mean, there was this one neckbeard..."[/red]

"Wait... Neckbeard? Weird guy, neckbeard, awkward and talks about "waifus"?"

[red]"...Yeah?"[/red]

She sighs.

"...Well... I'm really, really tempted to ignore hm being used for science or worse. Really, I am..."

Roll me a 1d20+4 if you can convince her to let you hold on to him.
+3 if you can convince her to let you hold on to him.
+2 if you can tell her of terrible punishment you can do to him.
+4 if you can tell her you'll "re-educate" him.

Rolled 17 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>1014032
>Come on Liz at least let me keep the one. He was planning on stealing your underwear. I think that warrants inhumane experiments for science. I can do experiments on his neurology to 're-educate' him enough negative feedback and training will do the trick I promise.

17+13=30

Good Succes!

[red]"Come on Liz, at least let me keep this one... He was planning to steal your underwear, and I think that warrants inhumane experiments for science, Liz. I can even re-educate him."[/red]

"Frankly, if he was planning to steal my underwear, let alone anything, he has it coming. My underwear is in limited supply, damn it."

Nice.

"Just be a dear and let the rest go, alright? And apologize to them for planning to mutate them into horrible monsters, alright?"

[red]"Liz..."[/red]

"Well, they're still people I may or may not know. Save the neckbeard, he has it coming though. I'd prefer as painful as possible for him."

Actions

>Fine, I guess.
>...Can I mutate them a little Liz?
>Only if we tumble a little.
>Jeez, you do not like that neckbeard...
>Fine. But NO apology, alright?
>...Fine. (Lie)
>Write-In

>>1014103
>Jeez, you do not like that neckbeard...
>Fine, I guess.

>>1014103
>Fine. But NO apology, alright?
They shouldn't of trespassed.
Now we need tp tighten security damnit.

"Jeez, you do not like that guy."

"Would you like someone who'd steal your underwear and smell it? Besides, I only have five pairs that fit."

"No?"

She gives you a kiss, and you begin to get out of bed.

Flames and Solaire however, are pissed off that you aren't fucking their day up.

Roll me a 1d20+3 if you can try to calm them and not suffer mental penalties.
+3 if you can give them reasons to calm down.
+2 if you can bribe them.
+2 if you can bring up both of their morals.

Autosuccess if you want to lie to Elizabeth and go through with mutating them heavily.

>>1014122
Oh we can mutate them heavily.
We just have to make sure it isn't visible.
And since I'm a nerd I have an idea how.

>>1014126
Mind if I ask how?

>>1014130
the human body screens for errors when replicating DNA then repairs them.
But as time goes on errors pile up anyways because it's imperfect.

Just saying why not remove that safety measure and see how long they last when every time a new cell is made it comes with multiple errors in it.

Maybe throw in something to increase the instability of their DNA as well.

Wonder how long they'll last

>>1014126
>>1014137
Science 4 da win

>>1014137
I did the math on that once for the fun of it during a biology class, assuming the information I heard was right.


The average humans repair system has a near perfect repair system (99.9%) but we still experience 200 cellular evolution per "x" (I think it was day or minute, might have been wrong).


What you are talking about will result in them falling apart after a few days. Since they will develop cancer of the everything.

>>1014137
So do anons want to do this?

>>1014141
That sounds fun to watch but too fast.
Thanks for catching that.

Should we dial it back?

>>1014142
If we do we should dial it back.
Instead of five days maybe a some years.

>>1014142
Fuck no. Release them, except the neckbeard, under a stern glare, and let the guard go last so we can tell him that we needed to appear stern to keep this shit from happening again. Torturing our guards is NOT going to endear us to the guards OR the slaves, and I'd rather not have another poisoning attempt on our or our families' lives again.

Going to wait for vote or two. Feel free to samefag.

>>1014171
I mean, not samefag, I meant fucking argue.

>>1014153
>another poisoning attempt on our or our families' lives again

When did the first one happen? Isn't the only poison deadly to us from D&D world anyways.

>>1014177
Our slaves attempted to poison us, our mother took care of it and in theory there could be other poisons that could kill us.

So...

>Don't release just yet and fuck with their DNA!
>Release them!
>Release the neckbeard (You'll hold him by default.)
>Write-in

>>1014194
>Release them!

Waiting fifteen minutes.

>>1014194
>Release them!

You release the prisoners, with a harsh glance... Solaire and Flames however, are fucking infuriated for you not doing anything to them... You do however leave the neckbeard in for later.
You also apologize to the guard, and tell him to stay away from your wife. He apologizes to you and says that it's been hard without his wife, and you let him go on his way. The teens seem scared out of their mind and quickly get out of there.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to avoid mental penalties from autistic screeching in your head.

+3 if you can try to reason with them why to let them go.
+3 if you can try to shittalk Flames and Solaire.
+2 if you can think of a way to reduce their anger and frustration at you.

Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1014247
I wonder if Liz ever deals with this and Gwynevere

Rolled 1 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1014247

>seriously guys, bad PR is a thing and we just got a real, good, non-propaganda piece out about us, I'd rather not trash that immediately by destroying the guy that wrote it.

>besides Flames, it isn't even your goddamn wife, you scaley faggot

>we'll roast some harpies in Sicily over a campfire, ok? We solved this problem, let's g on vacation.

>>1014277

Fuck. QM, THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE is why I lurk!

Reeeeeeeee
Why didn't we fine those idiots for trespassing and harassment?

[red]"Seriously guys, bad PR is a thing we have and we just got a good, real non-propaganda piece out about us. I'd rather not trash that immediately by destroying the guy that wrote it... Besides, it's not even your wife Flames, you scaly faggot.[/red]

Solaire and Flames both autistically yell at you and you feel... Well, your head feels warm, and you just... You feel like you shouldn't really be doing anything.

-5 to all mental stats and a -2 to all physical stats until your headmates aren't as pissed off at you.

They all leave save the neckbeard, and you just...
Fuck...

You need to lie down or something, and you head back to bed. You attempt to get some sleep, but are unable to.

You have lost a massive -35 opinion from Flames and Solaire.

You also hear Quoth laugh evilly... And can just feel your luck nose dive.

"Ren?"

You are unable to really move...

"Ren."

You groan a little bit... God, you feel sick.

"Ren, are you alright?"

You very nearly yell at her to shut the fuck up... But you remind yourself she's your wife, and you cover your head with a blanket... Light just fucking hurts.

You feel Elizabeth shake you.

"Are you alright?"

"I don't want to get out of bed, alright?"

She sighs a bit.

"...A kobold is here to see you, Ren."

Fuck, even sound hurts... You can barely even think. Your headmates are STILL pissed, probably because they have nothing better to do...
You also just feel like some... Smoke is in your throat, and you cough a little. Some small embers come out of it, and you snuff them out before they actually catch anything on fire.

"Ren? Are you sick?"

"No... Dragons... Dragons can't get sick."

"I think you are, Ren."

You sigh.

"...I'm not sick..."

Flames is pissed off enough where you feel like he's willing to set things on fire to settle his anger, and Solaire is angry enough where he's actually desiring killing. You feel like you'll be very unlucky today.

Actions

>Think of ways to calm Flames and Solaire down.
>...Just stay in bed. Let Elizabeth take over for a bit.
>You promised your family you'd give them a vacation... Maybe there's a way you can transport them. Like a plane or something.
>There's a few ways to settle dragon bloodlust. Either getting plenty of money, brutally and mercilessly killing innocents for fun, or think of calming things to do in your lair.
>You... You still have things to do. Try and rule and see that kobold here for you.
>Write-In

>>1014536

>Think of ways to calm Flames and Solaire down.
>...Just stay in bed. Let Elizabeth take over for a bit.

Better try to calm down the headmates, and let someone else who doesn't have two headvoices trying active sabotage take care of the important shit...also I think Dice Gods smote me for mixing up scalefag and furfag, ugh.

>>1014536
>There's a few ways to settle dragon bloodlust. Either getting plenty of money, brutally and mercilessly killing innocents for fun, or think of calming things to do in your lair.
We can't ignore that kobold
That'd be really retarded

>>1014536
>Think of ways to calm Flames and Solaire down.
>You promised your family you'd give them a vacation... Maybe there's a way you can transport them. Like a plane or something.
>You... You still have things to do. Try and rule and see that kobold here for you.


Just ask them to shut the fuck up so we can actually deal with this shit, then they can get back to screaming at us.

You ask them to shut the fuck up but they're way too pissed to actually stop.

"Liz... I might be busy today but I'll try to get to that kobold soon... I just need to think of something to help me recover."

She gives you a kiss.

You decide to think of ways to calm down!

>Try to gather more cash...
>...Try to vent by killing and raiding.
>Try to spend some time with Chrysoula? (Flames will calm down twice as fast!)
>Fuck... Maybe you should just stay in bed.
>...Try to argue with them? (Might just make them even more angry, and is hard!)
>Try to spend time with Frankizka or something?
>Fuck... Maybe Solaire would forgive you and remember his morals if you try to spend time with your children. He seems to like that. (Solaire gets calmed down nearly twice as fast!)
>Ask Elizabeth to stay with you? (Flames and Solaire calm down 1.5 as fast.)
>Write-In

>>1014613
>Try to gather more cash...
Time to rape some natural formations
Press F to pay respects to mountains

>>1014613
>Ask Elizabeth to stay with you? (Flames and Solaire calm down 1.5 as fast.)

You decide to gather some more cash with Elizabeth...

"Why don't we... You know... Go out and mine a mountain or something."

"I mean... If your sick enough to not be able to rule, I kind of have to rule here Ren."

Roll me a 1d20+4 if you can convince her to come along.

+3 if you can be seductive even while you physically and mentally hurt.
+2 if you can guilt trip her.
+2 if you can promise good, calming things to Solaire and Flames.

Rolled 16 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>1014654
>Come on Liz I thought you would want to spend some more time with me. Also I'm feeling miserable and this is the best way to help. And maybe we can even do a tumble or two while we're out.


For flames we'll let him spend time with Chrysoula.
For Solaire we'll do science with Renexizia like was on our agenda.