>>84719
Go to the bungalow

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>>84737

Your bungalow is in view, decrepit, but comfortable for your standards.

To the south is the Blithian Sea, purplish and poisonous as always.

To the north is the crossroads.

>>84781
Go fish in the Blithian Sea

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>>84834

The last thing you pulled out of there was a rotted skemple's corpse, but who knows, maybe you'll get lucky this time.

You cast out your trusty line and wait for a bite.

Glumpf is watching.

>>84877
Tell that creepy looking fucker to fuck off

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>>84916

Glumpf stares for a moment longer, tears beginning to form under his swollen brow. However, he does migrate to the western edge of the coast.

Your rod has not budged.

>>84953
Start a staring contest with him

>>84953
Flip Glumpf off, tell him he's angry for him losing your copy of Lethal Weapon 3

>>84986
*you're angry

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>>84986

You shout some very colorful expletives at Glumpf, not forgetting to mention the vast number of action movies he's borrowed from you and not returned.

Honestly, you don't know why you even bother with him anymore.

But hark! Your line, it is being tugged!

>>85035
Pull the pole!

>>85035
Pull it with all your might, use your wizardly telekinesis to get the fish if possible

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>>85071
>>85074

You yank the pole, and your waterlogged prize is easily stolen from the acidic abyss before you.

Aha! It seems you've snagged an adolescent garbage pixie. Many old wives' tales regard them as being mischievous and generally a nuisance.

She is alive and kicking, but quite firmly hooked, so she certainly won't get free without some kind of assistance.

>>85182
Tie a leash to her so that you can have her as a pet, then promptly buy a collar for her

>>85182
Tell her you'll use your wizard magic to release her if she gives you some sort of magical garbage gift

>>85182
rape it

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>>85214

Upon attempting speech with the smelly nymph, she responds with a good amount of hissing and swipes with her undeveloped claws. Seems she wasn't taught the common tongue by her sires.

>>85212

You improvise a leash using your fishing line, which is more than enough to keep your new rambunctious friend in good spirits.

Of course, if you wanted to buy anything for her, the town is always just north and then west from here.

>>85319
Head to town and hum a tune to comfort the nymph

>>85319
While leaving, be sure to flip Glumpf off one last time, for good luck.
Also be careful for grues, they might be roaming around

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>>85336

You trot towards Smumford Town with your newfound and newly-bound pet, whistling a jaunty wizard tune. She has calmed down considerably, but still significantly bitter about her new life.

You are now at the town entrance, where a few buildings for traveling merchants are assembled. The occupants of these houses tend to change from day to day, so you never know who or what could be happening in each one.

Your options are a building labeled "WUMP," a building with a shield symbol, and a Boiled Yogurt stand.

You may also continue to the town square, or head back to the crossroads.

>>85459
Check out the WUMP building

>>85459
Order a boiled yoghurt, grue flavored for you and Khoktees (the garbage pixie)

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>>85484

As you and Khoktees enter the WUMP building, you notice a very pungent and overpowering scent hit you like a wall.

The building is disgustingly unkempt, with leftover food and cobwebs littering every corner.

A hooded and unsavory male ELF is standing at a counter, no doubt eyeing you from behind his shroud.

Seems the new shopkeeper doesn't know that it's common courtesy to clean the building before you open it. Typical elf.

>>85618
Call him disgusting knife-ear and get Khoktees to eat his face

>>85618
use yer wizard powers to throw all of his mess at him. That'll teach him to keep the place clean.

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>>85648

Your penchant for creative swears and slurs is put to good use once more, calling the disgusting big-nosed elf every close-minded name in the book. In a state of extreme confidence, you command Khokky to attack the inferior beast!

However, she seems to be more interested in a cold salmon filet she found between the floorboards.

The elf has a gun.

>>85783
Tell him, "what are you going to do, shoot me?" then promptly get shot

>>85783
Use the leash to whip Khokky in the elf's direction and attempt to knock the gun out of his hand

We should roll dice to confirm what's going to happen, like 1 dice of 10 should be best

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>>85812

Fear takes ahold of your nervous system as you cover your eyes and swing your khok-flail into the subhuman ingrate, knocking the gun from his hand and into the air! (Khoktees will remember that)

>>85850

Okay, fine, roll 1d10 for whatever comes next.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>85919
Pillage the WUP store and with the money you find buy yourself a boiled yoghurt, give some to Khokky for being a good girl

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>85919
[Glass her]

>>85919
Take the gun for later use

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>>85951

After disarming the mongoloid and threatening him again, you lay claim to the entirety of his store's inventory: forty discolored oxnode steaks. You leave the store with your bounty and Khoktees indignantly in tow.

Your options are the Boiled Yogurt stand, the Shield building, the town square, or the crossroads.

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>86066
oops

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>86085
Head for the boiled yogurt stand, maybe you can apologize to Khokky with a treat

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>86085
Go to the Boiled Yoghurt stand and order a boilet yoghurt caramel slime flavour (if I roll a 10 he gets a life-time supply of boilet yoghurt)

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>>86105

You enter the Boiled Yogurt stand, hoping that they still have Warty Mulch, your childhood favorite.

In the center of the room, next to a black cauldron over a firepit, stands a HAG. She does not acknowledge your presence.

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>86085

Buy Khoktees a yogurt for being a good girl. The dice says how much she liked it.

Ask chef at boiled yoghurt to boil khok in your yoghurt for extra flava

>>86189
Agreed

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>>86189

While she cannot verbally express her enjoyment, the boiled yogurt you bought for her is clearly the greatest thing she's ever put inside of her body. You hope that all is forgiven.

Your yogurt is also quite tasty, but not nearly as good as it used to be. Sigh...

So, you may now go into either the shield building, the town square, or the crossroads.

You have forty oxnode steaks and an empty yogurt cup in your inventory.

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>86302
Go to the shield building, knock on the door, and impersonate a Jehovah's Witness recruiter

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>86302
The owner of the shield building is a thicc elf

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>86302
go to the shield store and try to barter using your steaks and cup as trade items

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>86350

Seconding this

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>>86326

An iron golem answers the door of the shield building, a hollow, empty face staring back at you. You spout several paragraphs of scripture from the Official Scroll of the Supreme Overwizard by Hump Gruzner, but the golem seems completely unfazed.

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>86416
Claim that you'll offer him 10 steaks in exchange for a nice shield

>>86408
>>86416
Too late?

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>86416

Ask if his creator is there, for you came bearing goods to barter

>>86431
Yes

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>>86427
>>86431

Upon offering 10 of your bluish steaks to the golem, he produces a kite shield with a golden metallic sheen, engraved with the likeness of an overweight elfish maiden.

Seems he was only programmed for barter.

Will you continue to offer trade, or go to the town square?

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>86416
Throw the empty yogurt cup at the golem.

>>86512
Offer 5 more steaks for a shield with a more appealing creature on it.

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>86512
Give him the yogurt cup for a small hat for Khokky

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>86512
see what the rest of the steaks and yogurt cup will get you

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>86530
whoops forgot to roll

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>86512
Why the hell do we need a shield? Let's get a bigass staff instead

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>>86528
>>86532

The iron golem interprets the hurled yogurt cup as another item for trade, and offers a tiny ski mask in return.

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>86612
Take the tiny ski mask, put it on, rob the giant.

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>86612
Give it to the pixie
We're about to go wizard mugging

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>86612
Take it

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>>86629
>>86630

Naturally, you hand the diminutive headwear to your personal malodorous miscreant. Before you can say anything else to the golem, the door is closed in your face, with a sign saying "Come Again Soon."

Your options are the town square, the crossroads, or the Boiled Yogurt stand again.

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>86739
crossroads, boys

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>86739
She fucking loves the balaclava

>>86739
Steal the sign and go to the crossroads, make a lute with your magic and earn some money with playing it while Khokky dances

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>86796
forgot to roll

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>>86751

Well, here we are again.

To the north is the Darkbog.
To the west is a steep cliff.
To the south is your cozy seaside bungalow.
To the east is Smumford Town.

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>86826
Go to steep cliff to meditate, maybe you'll get a new power, Khokky stands guard

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>86826
Go back to bungalow and do some magic experiments

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>86826
Go to the bungalow and apologize to Glumpf, you were just having a bad day back then

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>>86838

You sit at the edge of the sheer cliff face and close your eyes. The sound of the deadly waters below thrashing against the rocks, the ebb and flow of the forces of the cosmos all rocking together in an endless cascade of orderly chaos coalesces within your being to bring you to a grand and staggering realization...

That boiled yogurt isn't sitting so well.

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>86943
Take a shit on the ledge, relax your poor stomach

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>86943
Take a steaming shit off the cliff. Make sure the pixie doesn't see your shame.

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>>86958
>>86972

You relieve yourself off the edge of the cliff, an experience that you find much more liberating than the chamber pot back home. Khoktees was preoccupied with the flowers at the time, so no embarrassment was to be had.

Your options are the crossroads or the deadly waters below.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>87095
go to the crossroads

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>87095
Make a barrel appear out of nowhere and jump down the waters with it, flipping off Glompf in the progress

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>87095
rip glompf. Crossroads!

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>87095

Crossroads, and this time we have an unlikely encounter with somebody from our past

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>>87134

You decide that your boring ol' life of stealing meat from elves and bartering with chubby-chasing golems is over, and adventure awaits in the poisonous seas below!

Finally putting your wizard powers to good use, you conjure a wooden barrel for you and Khoktees to ride to the seas beyond. As you and your companion plummet down the cliff face, you are sure to raise your middle digit to the now excrement-clad Glumpf.

You are both now bobbing on the vile Blithian Sea, adventure in every direction, at least potentially.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>87343
Float around the area, playing music with your newly conjured lute, until you are washed up on a shore somewhere

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>87343
oh man look it's some magical realm
we just avoided it and went straight past

>>87343
This feels dangerous. Do we have any powers?

>>87343

Fish as we bob and look for land

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>>87370

We make-a the lute, and we take-a a wizard break.

Tune in next time for another exciting adventure (maybe a few hours later).

>>87555
Good quest, nice trips

We have a bumbling and lovable main character.
The unwilling, kind of cute, assistant/pet
The idiot idiot who gets shit on.
And the potential for adventure like no wizard has ever seen before.

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And we're back.

After five days at sea, you and your unwashed friend arrive at a strange and possibly uncharted beach.

You have consumed 10 of your unsanitary oxnode steaks on your journey.

Khoktees has dysentery.

Your inventory consists of 20 discolored oxnode steaks and a Pocket Manual of Wizardry.

Your paths include north along the coastline, south along the coastline, or east into a dark and foreboding forest.

>>89321
Stuff the pages from the manual in Khoktees butthole to stop dysentery, quick!

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>>89486

Dysentery is no joke! With a mighty fist, you tear a handful of pages from your manual and cram them into Khoktees' secret love cave.

Also it is now nighttime, and Khoktees has gone to sleep.

>>89536
Go fish

>>89536
Check that spoopy forest out but make sure to put your skeleton suit on to avoid unwanted attention from the ghosts and goblins.

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>>89581

You cast out your stretchy wizard arm and wait for a bite.

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>89636
Rolling for what we catch.

>>89636
Magicarp

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>89636

We catch yet another pixie

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>>89652

You have fished an agitated water wizard.

Uh oh.

>>89730
Offer to trade for a steak

>>89730
Ask how he is not poisoned.

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>89730

De-agitate him with our fists.

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>>89742

You offer Skloxmogg (the water wizard) your least decomposed steak. His interest seems piqued, and in an agitated fashion, he offers to give you one tidbit of information about the land you are currently standing on.

What will you inquire about?

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>89730

Trade wisdom and spells with him to expand our skillset

>>89850
What is there to eat around here?

>>89850
Don't enquire, gut him like a fish and sleep in his carcass

Ask him where we can find a cure for khoktee's dysentery

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>89856

This

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>>89856

Skloxmogg focuses for a moment, furrowing his brow as a physical manifestation of his knowledge begins to billow out of his head.

Skloxmogg has given you his passive ability, Pureblood Aura. All party members are kept resistant to poison and disease as long as they are close to you.

He then promptly dissolves, because of the poison.

>>89955

He was truly as wise as a wizard.

Give Khoktees a hugarooni.

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>89955
pay your respects

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>>90022

Skloxmogg's sacrifice will not be in vain! You put your arms around your clammy compatriot! Seems she's still a bit cranky.

You have 20 oxnode steaks, one wizard skeleton, and a large seashell in your inventory.

Beach to the north, beach to the south, forest to the east. Where go?

>>90088
Onwards to the forest

>>90088
Explore the forest

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>>90100
>>90102

Morning breaks, and you both take it as a sign to continue into the forest. Trees tower above you, their bark a strange hue of blue and purple. The canopy is alive with the sounds of birds chirping, and you can pick out what appear to be distant howls amongst the rabble.

You see a break in the trees in the distance, it seems to be a clearing. Do you walk straight ahead, take a more stealthy approach, or something different?

>>90168
Walk ahead like the friendly wizard you are

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>90168

We stealth wizard. Cast something that makes both of them less visible

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>>90263

You cast a spell that causes a bush to sprout from your knees, offering a neat form of impromptu cover. You creep up to the edge of the clearing, trying your best to avoid the sunbeams slicing through the trees.

You spot two figures, both small in stature. A dwarf in civilian clothing and a goblin wearing light armor. The dwarf seems suspicious, but neither of them have noticed you, hopefully.

>>90353

Keep watching.

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>>90369

You stay hidden, and the two small beings continue their conversation. It seems they're trying to organize the arrival of some kind of great change, possibly a revolution of some kind.

It is at this point that you notice the hellish portal in front of them.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>90428
Cast a love spell on the goblin

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>90428
Keep watching

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>90428

Ready yourself for combat. Clearly, they are summoning a hellish abomination from hell, and we sure as hell aren't going to be their summon's first meal

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>>90438

You twiddle your fingers in the goblin's direction, performing a standard beguilement spell. Seems it's awakened something deep within the goblin's own fantasies.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>90484
cast it at the dwarf too

>>90484
The goblin serenades the dwarf

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>90551

Seconding this

This is the best thread I've seen on this board
The jargon
>skemple
>Glumpf
>Smumford
I don't know why but this is just so hilarious to me
10/10 OP keep it up

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>>90551
>>90565

You do the same to the dwarf. The two fellows make lustful eye contact, the blossoming love in their hearts creating a powerful but unspoken union.

Seems the dwarf is having some strange side effects, though.

Then you remember something from your early days as a young magic scholar.

Dwarves are not supposed to fall in love.

>>90639
Sounds cool, use wizardly powers and analyze the portal.

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>90639
sneak past them and get a closer look at the portal

>>90639
Is Dwarf-Goblin marriage socially acceptable in this setting?

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>>90658
>>90659

The two formerly platonic lovers make their way to a dark copse to do their flesh-frolicking. You and Khokky take a closer look at the portal, a roiling violet spiral with a fiery glow behind its center. A very dry and crispy draft is pulsing through it.

Will you attempt to shut the portal, go through it, or something else?

>>90673

In some multi-racial cities, perhaps. But certainly not in any primarily dwarven or goblin city.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>90729
Cast a fireball to burn the abomination you created

>>90736

Oh shit, this is happening.

>>90736
You monster

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>>90736

Your study of the portal is interrupted by your own thoughts as you realize the abomination of biology and racial purity that you, yourself, had created.

You point your good finger in the pairing's direction and shoot off a standard fireball.

Seems you don't know your own strength.

>>90736
Don't be sych a bigot, man. This is the new millenium, we're talking 1000 A.D. here, not the close-minded 950's and 60's

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>90815
Tie the leash to Khoky and send her through the portal, if anything happens pull her to safety, she'll report back on what's happening

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>90815
loot the ashes and jump the fuck into the portal

>>90829
Soul drain the gobbos species war now!!

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>>90815

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>>90834

After cutting a nicely burnt swath through the forest, you wrap your stretchy wizard-arm around Khoktees' waist.

Khokky seems to already know what's expected of her. For a garbage pixie, she's a quick learner. She passes through the membrane of the violet cloud and vanishes into the unknown.

>>90882

thx senpai u cool

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>90901
Enchant the rope so if it gets snapped the other end will blow up.

>>90914
y?

>>90901
Open your third eye to track her movements, if that fails, conjure a cup of boiled yoghurt and throw it on the portal

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>90932
Forgot roll

>>90901
Go on wizardchan and start a Glumpf hate thread

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>>90927

>>90951
(To pass the time while Khoktees is exploring, obviously)

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>>90901

It is now Garbage Pixie Quest.

You garbage pixie, given name of Skwooga. Fat hairy fishing rod demon give name of Khoktees. In deepdark caveplace. Help help what do

>>90986

Check what walls are made of.

>>90986
Garbage pixie check cave

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>90986
Look for a gift for the wizard

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Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>90951
pic rel
>>90986
Try to tug on the rope, maybe bringing the fat wizard with you

>>90986
Go further in.

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>>90998

Wall wall rock dusty hot breaky smash. Taste like how fire look. Yum yum in tum.

>>91033
Try to find an English-to-Pixie dictionary in there.

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>91033
Turn around and notice Dlumpf who is basically Nega-Glumpf but the only difference is that he has a pair of small horns

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>91033
She gets attacked by a demon because that was his rock wall.

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>91033
Go further in, but only after eating more of the wall.

>>91033

Take some wall for the road, go further in.

Holy shit I just got the name Khoktees.

>>91033
See who make cave, eat who make cave

>>91084
I thought everyone had gotten it by now, I mean it's pretty fucking obvious

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>>91042

Nobook nobook but look.

Openwood in tunnel end, flat but glow glow.

>>91103
EAT

Go through the door

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>91103
Run through as fast as possible

>>91103
eat glow glow
take piece for hairy demon later

>>91103
Break down the door.

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>>91110

YUM YUM OPEN SEASON OPEN WOOD

Oh hey moreglow what now

>>91154
go through door
find loot
get loot
report back to wizard

Investigation the glow

>>91154
LOOT

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>>91171
>>91175

Um.

>>91236
Say hi to the man politely, and inquite on where the treasure is

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>91236
Attack it

>>91255

You cheeky bastard.

>>91255
>roll 10/10
>dubs
C R I T I C A L H I T

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>>91255

DEATH DEATH GNASH GNASH

WHERE AIM??

>>91301
His dick.

>>91301
Fly through ear

attack brain

>>91301
His penis

>>91301

GO FOR THE JUGULAR

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>91301
Eye

>>91316

NUTSACK

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Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>91301
TITTY TWISTER

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>>91316

FUG

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>91352
eat brain to gain more knowledge and intellect

>>91352
Eat brains

>>91364
this

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>91352
Bring back his crown for the wizard.

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>91364
Thirding.

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>>91352

Meanwhile.

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>>91374
Um.

>>91398
Order a magic sword of laserdom from online that shoots lasers if charged with friendship magic

>>91417
Did you eat the brains?

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>>91398

Plot twist.

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>91417
ACTIVATE PIXIE BEAR MODE

>>91417
Tough it out, she can handle a little weight, and the portal isn't THAT far

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>>91430
>>91422
>>91369
>>91364

Seems she gained a bit more than just intellect.

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>91457
Remind her of the good times they had together, and how they can have even better times now

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>91457
Use your anti demon water spray.

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>91457

Promise boiled yogurt if you're allowed to go free.

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>91457

Genuflect

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>>91467
>>91486

Memories of the delicious boiled culture that you two shared are still fresh in her mind. You are also keen to mention that she'll probably not be able to get any more on her own for the time being.

She places you back on the extended stone platform and you walk back towards the portal.

>>91539
Ask her about her magic abilities, and if she can revert herself into her normal size, or at least the same size as you, keep your shield close by, you never know

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>91539
Conjure some yogurt that is really a very powerfull laxative before you leave the portal.

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>>91539

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Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>91556
>Khoktees is gone
This is too sad for me, someone hold me...

You need to find a new friend to annoy btw

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>>91556

A wizard's quest always ends with a bang. Even if it's a small one.

Wizard quest will continue again one day.

Thank you all for participating.

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>>91583
Thanks OP, I really liked this story
I hope there's a second installment coming along

>>91583
What about Glumpf?!?!

>>91583
That was fun, thanks for QMing.

>>91596
Who gives a crap about that fat, ugly, disgusting, orcish pile of shit?

>>91583

Thanks QM, that was great.

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>>91596

You are Glumpf. You are dead because of overexposure to wizard shit.

The end.

>>91583
Great quest, OP.
Looking forward to more wizard dickery whenever you return.

>>91623
Glumpf did nothing wrong
no bully

>>91623
Holy fuck that was hilarious

Archived for posterity:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=wizard+Quest

>>91669
Thanks anon

>>91676

Least I could do. This thread made me feel real good about /qst/.

nice

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>>91623
When can we look forward to a new quest?

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>>103935

Right now.

After 2 days of being lost in a dark and mysterious forest, you finally reach a vast and open clearing. Emerald green grasses stretch up and down the edge of a roiling river. Colossal mountains jut from the northern horizon. A bridge is to the east, leading over the river. A quarry is to the south.

Your inventory consists of two pounds of rot that used to be steak, and a shard of mutated dwarf remains.

>>104991
Make the dwarf remains into a elemental pet and name it in honor of your previously pet.

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>>105047

You mold the rotten meat around the mutant dwarf shard, carefully and deliberately pressing the organic matter into the cracks of the fragment. You must now choose your method of giving life to the lifeless:

BLOOD

MIND

SOUL

>>105101
Bloood, it will be our

>>105101
Combine BLOOD and SOUL.

>>105101
SOUL

>>105119
...fleshy slave

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>104991
Combine rot and dwarf shard, otherwise head to quarry.

>>105101
Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D8fS9-Yimdhw

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>>105119
>>105127

You slice into that palm of your hand with your teeth, then clench your fist over the empty husk that will be your new thrall.

Electric twangs of pain echo through your nerves as the sweet, life-giving nectar of your veins drizzles onto the meatmold.

Now you must call to a Demonic Champion of Beyondium to finalize this devilish contract. You can recall three of them from the top of your head:

BOOMSLEAZE

GOXX MORONGO

KOG

>>105170
GOXX KOG MORONSLOOM

>>105170

Boomsleaze, sounds like the one who would give us a lewd, busty familiar

>>105170
KOG

>>105170
Boomsleaze, he sounds like my kind of guy

>>105170
BOOMSLEAZE

>>105170
Boomsleaze baybeeeeeee

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>>105179

"O Boomsleaze, Father of the Dead Sirens, Neverending King of the Overrated Spire, the Boiling Core That Will Cook Our Whales Alive, I speak a request to thee. Give this empty shell of rot and charred remains life, take my blood as your boon, and may your will bend the fabric of hatred itself. This I humbly request."

Willst thou finish this ritual?

>>105252
Da tovarisch

>>105252
Yes, also boomsleaze there's a giant garbage pixie demon hybrid you'd probably want to deal with.

>>105252
Yes, and astrally wink at boomsleaze as you finish the ritual.

>>105252
"In longing memory of the deceased and great Skloxmogg, fill this hollow tribute in essence of his sake. also that asshole Glompf too or whatever. May my essence combined give empty fruit to the vessel I now deem Skloxmpf"

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>>105256

The ritual was a success!

You have created a level 12 GONCCUBUS.

Khoktees II is born.

>>105301
Celebrate with some cold slimescream

>>105301
TO THE QUARRY!

>>105301
Wield your gonccubus

>>105301
What level are we?

>>105301
destroy this lewd abomination

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>>105309

You stand at the edge of the quarry. There is evidence that there has been recent mining here, but now the pit seems completely deserted.

Widner the Death Wizard is nearby.

Khoktees II is smelling you.

>>105301
Have the gonccubus seduce Glumpf and take his soul for wizardly reasons

>>105345
Make the goncubbus lick Widner's elbow

>>105345
Brag to winder about uplifting a garbage pixie into a daemon lord.

>>105354

Seconding this.

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>>105351

Widner has always been the butt of many magical jokes in the wizard community. You figure a simple lick would help raise his spirits.

Khoktees II's psychic bond allows her to sidle into action without you even asking.

Widner does not seem to have noticed.

>>105366
let her continue while doing this >>105354
ask him if he wants to join us on our shenanigans

>>105366
it eats him whole.

>>105366

Ask him what he has done with his life lately, casually mentioning that as for you, you caused a garbage pixie to become a demon lord

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>>105372
>>105375

You decide to greet yourself properly. You start to retell the many adventures you've had recently, not forgetting to mention the horrible fate you may have given to an old familiar of yours. You push Khoktwo to lick much faster.

Widner has still said and done nothing.

>>105408
punch him in the face, wizard style

>>105408
A wild dung troll attacks out of no where!

>>105408
Gloat harder and more bombastically, enough for your ego to cause a singularity.

>>105408
Check to see if he's alive, if not steal his belongings and hat.

>>105417

This. Either guy is stoic as fuck, or he's dead and ripe for looting

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>>105413

Your heart thumps in your chest as you ready a playful jab to his jaw. Widner is such a wet blanket, maybe it's time you show him who's king of the proverbial playground!

You let loose your mean left hook, only for a cascade of brown fluid to eject from his facial orifices.

Widner's face peels off as easily as an orange's rind, sticking to your hand from a mixture of blood and viscera.

As it turns out, Widner the Death Wizard is dead.

>>105443
turn his face skin into a widner hand puppet

>>105443

Loot the corpse for valuables and create a second familiar using his corpse

>>105443
loot body, then throw the corpse in the quarry.

>>105443
Absorb his knowledge.

>>105449
This

>>105443
Revive skeleton using MIND now

>>105443
Paste his face to the front of his own hat using the corpse-y face fluids, then place the face hat atop your own hat. More pointy hats= more wizard street cred
>>105449
>>105460
And then make him your skele-birch manservant

>>105483
>skele-birch
Fuck me, I need to double check this shit before I post. I meant skele-bitch