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You wake up to the sound of beeping medical instruments. Hardly a good sign, but hey, at least you're alive. Most people who get stung by Arachne don't get to say that. You'll be really popular with the ladies when you get back to New York.

You turn your head right to look out the window. The scenery looks awfully familiar.

"Good morning, Eamon. Welcome back."

You turn your head to the left. There's a blonde woman holding a golden Sheath.

"Fuck my life." You groan and sink into your bed. "How the fuck did I get back here?"

"Francis brought you," Alice says. "Good thing, too. If he'd been a second late, you'd be dead. You're lucky I wasn't already busy. How did you get sucker punched, anyway? Someone with your experience should know better."

Alice possesses Excalibur's Sheath. You're not sure what its powers are, but it's good with healing and it makes Alice invulnerable; you've never, ever seen her take a wound. You're not even sure if she even ages anymore.

Of course, if Alice is here, it means you're back in Dublin. You knew you'd have to come back eventually, but you'd hoped the circumstances would be a little better.

"It was dark and there was spider gore everywhere," you say. "Also, I don't want to talk about it."

Alice snorts. "I'll bet."

- "How's the rest of my squad?"
- "Have I had any visitors?"
- "What's the situation here?"

>>772385
>- "How's the rest of my squad?"

>>772385
>- "What's the situation here?"

>>772385
>- "How's the rest of my squad?"
>- "What's the situation here?"

>>772385
> How's the rest of my squad?
And stop being mean to me, I'm a big damn hero now.

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>>772385
"How's the rest of my squad?"

"They're fine," Alice says. "The newbies managed not to get stabbed by the evil hell-beast's death throes. Although I suppose it's unfair to call them newbies at this point. I wish we could have gotten this far sooner."

"You know how it is." You pull back the bed sheets and look at what you're wearing. Yep. It's a hospital gown. Covered in dots. At least they're blue. "We spent most of the way trying not to go extinct, then we had to reclaim territory, then we had to hold on to the territory we had. Personnel and resources were very limited until recently. They still are, with the cleanup being what it is."

"I know how the song goes. I've danced it often enough." Alice drops a pile of sweats on your bed. "Here. I figured you'd want something marginally more respectable. Are you going to see Siobhan and Neil?"

You glare at her and look through the clothes she gave you. You don't want to know how she got the size of your underwear.

"Maybe, maybe not," you say. "Mind if I get changed?"

Alice shrugs. "Suit yourself," she says. "Things are quiet for now, but I expect Arthur will call you if a skirmish breaks out. Enjoy yourself until then. Oh, and Eamon?"

"Yeah?"

"Welcome home."

Alice leaves and you put on some clothes. What do you want to do know?

- Go find your squad.
- Fuck it. You might as well call Neil and Siobhan now and get it over with.

>>772570
>- Fuck it. You might as well call Neil and Siobhan now and get it over with.

>>772570
>- Fuck it. You might as well call Neil and Siobhan now and get it over with.

- Fuck it. You might as well call Neil and Siobhan now and get it over with.

>>772570
>- Go find your squad.

>>772570
>- Fuck it. You might as well call Neil and Siobhan now and get it over with.

>>772570
> Go find yo squad
Let's not be all well adjusted, eh?

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>>772570
You check out of the hospital and take out your cellphone. The number's still there in your address book. You hover over it before pressing the button. The phone rings again and again and then someone picks up.

"Neil Hynes speaking. What's the emergency?"

Your mind blanks out and you stare at the scenery in front of you.

"I've got caller ID, Eamon," Neil says. "If this is a prank call, it's a shitty one."

"I'm trying to decide how I should tell you to go fuck yourself."

"Don't you usually just tell me to go fuck my spear?"

"I think this particular situation requires something new."

There's another long, awkward silence.

"Are you still pissed about that fight?" Neil asks.

"Yeah, among other things," you answer.

"Christ, Eamon, you've lost plenty of fights," Neil says. "You literally just lost a fight against a fucking corpse."

"The stakes weren't as high then," you say. "And who told you about that?"

"Everyone knows," Neil says. "We took pictures while Alice was saving your ass. I think you're still trending on Twitter."

"Goddamn it, Neil…"

"Look, Eamon, I know things went sideways between us," Neil says. "If you want to settle it, that's fine. We can go to the pub for drinks or something."

- "Okay, sure. I'll meet you at the usual place."
- "Sorry, we'll have to do this by phone. I'm a bit pressed for time right now."

- "Sorry, we'll have to do this by phone. I'm a bit pressed for time right now."

>>772736
>- "Okay, sure. I'll meet you at the usual place."

>>772736
>- "Sorry, we'll have to do this by phone. I'm a bit pressed for time right now."

>>772736
>"Okay, sure. I'll meet you at the usual place."
May as well rebuild our bridges now that we're back, or else burn them entirely.

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>>772736
You do need to check back in with your squad, but maybe you can ask them to meet you there after your business with Neil is done? Yeah, that should work.

"Okay, sure," you say. "I'll meet you at the usual place."

"I'll be there in 15 minutes."

That leaves you plenty of time to get there. It's not very far from the hospital.

The pub's plain, not at all rustic or rundown like a proper establishment ought to look like. It's a simple dive though. Fish and chips is the only item in the menu. You order a basket with a side of lemon sauce along with a pint of Guinness and take a table in the deepest, darkest corner of the restaurant.

Neil swaggers in five minutes after you because he swaggers in everywhere. He picks up his order a the bar as well and goes straight to your table without even having to look for you. He sits down and you both start eating.

"So, what bothers you so much about the fight? Aside from losing, I mean."

You think back to your duel. It was a straightforward thing. You and Neil fight, and Siobhan picks the winner. Classic.

But it's her face that bothers you, both during and after the fight. She looked at the two of you fight without ever showing any kind of expression. It was like it didn't concern her at all. Even when the fight ended and you lost, she didn't seem to care about the outcome one way or the other.

- "She wasn't sad that I lost."
- "She wasn't happy that you won."
- "It was like she didn't care about the fight at all. So what was the point?"

>>772915
>- "It was like she didn't care about the fight at all. So what was the point?"

>>772915
>- "She wasn't sad that I lost."
>- "She wasn't happy that you won."
>- "It was like she didn't care about the fight at all. So what was the point?"
>It was all a God damn waste, we could have been fighting over a bottle of whiskey and had a more satisfying result.

>>772940
this

>>772940
Supporting

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>>772915
"It was like she didn't care about the fight at all, Neil," you say. "We might as well have been fighting over a bottle of whiskey."

"That's what bothers you?" Neil scowls and spits out a fishbone. "You know what Siobhan's like. Before the fight had started, she'd already accepted the outcome, no matter what it was. She didn't care because she knew it was out of her hands."

"Yeah, well, I want into that fight expecting to win, Neil," you say. "Because I had a stake in the outcome. We all did."

"And… what?" Neil asks. "You're worried that if you had won, Siobhan would be stuck with you and wouldn't have cared about you? Because I can assure you based on personal experience that that wouldn't have happened."

"I don't know, maybe?" You sigh and run a hand through your hair. "It's just not how we do things, you know? If there's a fight, we need to be invested in it."

"Look, Arthur wants to make a push since you're on a winning streak," Neil says. "Once you're done, you can try to talk things over with Siobhan. But enough about that. What about your new squad?"

"What about them?"

"I saw them when they got here," Neil says. "Have you slept with one of them yet?"

- "It hasn't really come up."
- "No, and I'm not interested right now."
- "I thought about it a few times, but no."

>>773093
>- "It hasn't really come up."
>All of them are dealing with their own shit, most times I'm a fucking nanny to them more than a man.

agree with this

>>773093
>"It hasn't really come up."

>>773124
oops

>- "It hasn't really come up."
>All of them are dealing with their own shit, most times I'm a fucking nanny to them more than a man.

>>773109
> "One still has a God-complex, that's waning thankfully, one is too nice and the other is French. So no no time for that"

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>>773093
"It hasn't really come up yet," you say. "Plus, one of them expects to be worshipped so…"

"Oh, you got one of those, huh?" Neil reaches over and pats your shoulder. "Good luck with that."

"She's gotten better since that bullshit with Natanael," you say. "Still needs to get used to the real world though."

"Yeah, I heard about that," Neil says. "Kind of makes you wonder about the kind of people who are running this show doesn't it? Still, we can't do better than King Arthur."

Neil finishes his meal and heads off to his next shift on patrol. That went reasonably well, all things considered. You didn't fight to the bar's destruction, for one thing.

You still need to get in touch with your team though.

- Call them to the pub.
- Meet them outside somewhere.
- Meet them on base.

>>773239
>- Call them to the pub.

>>773239
>Meet them outside somewhere.

>>773239
>Pub

>>773239
>- Call them to the pub.
Make them all drink Guiness. Or Irish car bombs I guess.

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>>773239
Screw it, you're at the pub and you don't feel like leaving. You call up Francis to see what the gang's doing.

"Hey, Eamon, what's up?" Is that club music in the background? Are there clubs open at this hour? "You out of the hospital yet?"

"Yeah, I stepped out for lunch," you say. "I'm done, but I was wondering if you could pick up the girls and join me. You know my usual place, right?"

"Yeah, I've been there a couple of times," Francis says. "We'll be there in a few minutes."

"Okay, thanks."

You move to a bigger table to accommodate your team. True to Francis' word, he comes in with the rest of your team after five minutes. He shows them to the bar and you wave to them to let them know where you are. They join you after picking up their baskets.

"I do not think that is what fish is supposed to look like," Natsumi says as she pokes the food on her plate.

"Don't they have fried fish in Japan?" You ask.

"Yes, but it still does not look like this."

"Can't expect much from the Brits," Francis. "And the Irish are better with beef, aren't they?"

"Wars have been fought over barbecues," you confirm. "If you're going to borrow someone's cattle, don't brag that you were going to steal it anyway."

"That is sound advice," Orianne says. "Are you all right, Eamon?"

"We were a little worried when you were wounded," Selene adds.

- "Yeah, I'm fine."
- "It's just a minor slip-up on my part. It's not a big deal."
- "Not going to lie, I'm a little freaked out by what happened."

>>773365
>- "It's just a minor slip-up on my part. It's not a big deal."

>>773365
>"It's just a minor slip-up on my part. It's not a big deal."

>>773365
> Not going to lie, I'm a little freaked out by what happened.

- "It's just a minor slip-up on my part. It's not a big deal."

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>>773365
"It's just a minor slip-up on my part," you say. "It's not a big deal."

"Dude," Francis says. "By the time I got you to Alice, your entire leg had turned into pus and squeezed out of the wound. The only thing left was the bone."

"And yet my leg is now well and meaty," you say. "Minor slip-up, Francis. Not a big deal."

"What counts as a major mistake?" Selene asks.

"A critical error that gets the team killed and fails the mission," you say. "Arachne is dead, I'm alive, you're all alive, that's all I need to call this a success."

"I'm glad you're still optimistic," Orianne says as she nibbles her fish. "The food here is surprisingly good."

"It's the only thing on the menu," you say. "It better be good."

"Will we fight Balor before we leave?" Natsumi asks. "It would be a shame to leave without killing it."

"That's what Alice implied," you say. "It does use fire-based attacks, so your Relic should be quite useful, Natsumi."

Natsumi perks up at that. The last few fights didn't play to her strengths, but the remaining battles should.

"And then your homeland will finally be free," Orianne says. "You must be looking forward to it."

- "I'm looking forward to freeing Earth."
- "We'll still need to clean up afterwards."
- "Yeah, it's a little exciting."

>>773509
>- "I'm looking forward to freeing Earth."

>>773509
>- "I'm looking forward to freeing Earth."

- "I'm looking forward to freeing Earth."

>>773509
>- "I'm looking forward to freeing Earth."

>>773509
>- "Yeah, it's a little exciting."

>>773509
>- "Yeah, it's a little exciting."
But we will still have to worry about the English.

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>>773509
"I'm looking forward to freeing Earth," you say. "There's no point in cleaning up the yard if the neighbours are infested with rats."

"Most of the neighbours are doing fine now though," Orianne says. "Balor, Lucifer, Andhaka… There isn't much left for the exterminators."

You shake your head. "You're forgetting the Breach," you say. "That's not something we can just kill."

"It's not necessarily something you can just kill," Francis corrects you. "Never underestimate the effectiveness of violence."

You shrug and finish your pint.

"I'd like to think we're a little more considerate than that," Orianne says. "The violence has to stop at some point. Otherwise, now that we have Relic-wielders…"

The atmosphere around the table chills. If Relic-wielders turn against humanity, you'd have to fight them, wouldn't you?

"I've been thinking about that ever since… ever since South America," Selene says. "I don't like the idea much."

- "We dealt with Natanael. We can deal with other would-be warlords."
- "I'm hopeful that things won't turn out like that."
- "If you can't deal with it, there's always retirement."

>>773642
>- "I'm hopeful that things won't turn out like that."

>>773642
>- "I'm hopeful that things won't turn out like that."

>>773642
>"We dealt with Natanael. We can deal with other would-be warlords."

- "I'm hopeful that things won't turn out like that."

>>773642
>- "We dealt with Natanael. We can deal with other would-be warlords."
> - "I'm hopeful that things won't turn out like that."

>>773699
this

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>>773642
"We dealt with Natanael and we can deal with other would-be warlords," you say. "Besides, I'm hopeful that things won't turn out like that."

"Yeah, there are enough Relics to go around that starting a war would destroy the planet," Francis says. "It'll be like the good old days of the Cold War, where everyone had nukes, but no one had the courage to use them."

"I would like a political climate more stable than the Cold War, thank you," Orianne says. "The world was almost destroyed a few times too many for my taste."

"Almost doesn't count," Francis says. "Everyone knows that."

"I agree with Orianne on this subject," Natsumi says. "It would be better if we pursued a more honest peace."

Before you can say anything else, your phone rings. You check the caller; it's the Commander.

"Hello, Commander," you say as you answer. "What can I do for you?"

"I need you to pick an opponent for a one-on-one duel."

… that was not what you expecting.

"Care to run that by me again?"

"We're putting together a strategy for Balor," the Commander says. "It involves fighting his seven lieutenants in duels. I need you to pick one between Cethlenn, Bres and Conand. I've got people for the others."

You scratch your forehead and try to remember which of the fomorians does what.

Cethlenn isn't particularly strong, but she is fast and she has some gift of prophecy. Gleipnir would be useful to hold her down.

Bres is a more balanced fighter, both strong and fast, but not too strong or fast. You should be able to suppress him with your Relic.

Conand is tough, but that's it. It favours defensive tactics and lacks offensive power.

- "I should deal with Cethlenn."
- "I can deal with Bres."
- "I'll fight Conand."

>>773820
>- "I can deal with Bres."

>>773820
>- "I'll fight Conand."

>>773820
Cethlenn isn't particularly strong, but she is fast and she has some gift of prophecy. Gleipnir would be useful to hold her down.

Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>773829
1

>>773843
2

>>773852
3

>>773820
> "I can deal with Bres."

pretty sure we soft-counter most of these guys

>>773937
Heh, I'll take the tiebreaker.

>>773820
>- "I can deal with Bres."

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>>773820
"Give me Bres," you say. "He's one of the harder ones to deal with, but I should be able to pull it off."

"Very well," the Commander says. "I'll confirm your name on the roster. This should go without saying, but don't screw this up."

"Yeah, I can figure that part out on my own."

You hang up the phone and gaze mournfully at your now-empty pint. You could sure use a pick-me-up after that announcement.

"New marching orders?" Francis asks.

"Yeah, the Commander is setting up duels," you inform your team. "I assume she'll have orders for you as well, if she feels it's necessary."

Orianne wouldn't do well, but Natsumi and Selene might, depending on what the opposition is.

"Are you confident you can win?" Selene asks.

"I don't expect an easy fight, but I've fought plenty of duels before," you say. "I'll win this one."

>>773983
And that's all for today! Relic Quest will return on Sunday November 6th at 7PM. As a reminder, I'll also be running Beleaguered Prince Quest on Friday November 4th, also at 7PM.

Goodnight and thanks for playing.

>>773994
Thanks for running.

>>773994
good thread OP! I just might ask that I know you're trying to keep a heady pace going with plot, but I wouldn't mind slowing down a bit to explore the backstory a bit more

>>773994
Thanks for running.