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Last time on European Dragon Quest, we found our daughter, who turned out to be friendly and adorable, then we tried to make Beastmen into her friends, and that sort of thing...

But for right now, we're not playing Renexizious. We're playing as Viktorious.

Character Sheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/edit
Twitter: QuestingQM

You are currently Viktorious, President of the USA, son of Renexizious, and generally very ambitious. Oh, and a red motherfucking dragon. Which means you make for a great friend when it comes to barbecuing, as the Americans are so fond of, or generally destroying stuff... Which makes your soul feel at ease...

Right now, you are not a fifty story dragon pillaging the countryside or actually doing anything. Your just sitting in your Oval Office, smoking a cigarette... Rather thematic for you, being a dragon that can breathe fire after all...

Feeling relaxed, you lean back into your chair, and look at the painting in the Oval Office, such as George Washington (who've you always really liked, in your honest opinion), and... That guy. FDR. You never really liked him. In fact, you have plans to move that man from your office back down to the art gallery, and replace that with Abraham Lincoln...

Abraham... You sort of feel a little bad for how you behaved during the election, when you were much younger and less mature... Well, it's in the past now, at the least.
This is when you get a call on your desk, startling you...

It's a normal phone, not the RED PHONE. Which should only be used if your dad's trying to disrupt your ambitions, or some fucking idiot tries to attack.
Which won't end well for them... Since you are the only nuclear power after all...

You let out a slightly evil laugh. Then turn back to work, and straighten your tie. You can't help but be slightly annoyed, you were about to do something after all...

Actions.

>...Answer the phone.
>...Pick up the phone, and tell whoever it is to calmly "shut the fuck up".
>You should go over your life ambitions again, and what your planning to do... You have a lot of work, after all.
>...Grab that portrait of FDR. You need to take care of it now before you forget.
>Pick up the phone and slam it down. You were about to call someone...
>...Your going to need more cigarettes. Smoke another one.
>Write-In
>>
>>764555
>...Answer the phone.
>>
You of course, answer the phone.

"Yes? Who is this?"

"Vik? That's you, right?"

It seems to be your sister, Maria! How nice.

"Of course. Do you need anything, Maria?"

"Well, yes... Something very important, actually."

"Right. Well, what is it?"

"...I sort of need you to help me escape from prison."

"What?! How did you get arrested?"

"Erh, I didn't get arrested... Rebels kidnapped me."

"How are you calling me?"

"Well... I'm about to be kidnapped... Can you help or not? Because I don't really know anyone else who can."

"What about literally every other brother or sister we have?"

The phoneline goes dead. And you are furious, personally. So you slam the phone down, which slightly bends it.

But you also can't help but think this is slightly suspicious. Sure, you get along great with Maria... But why call YOU? Your far away... And she never actually said where she was...

Actions.

>...It doesn't matter if your sister's been kidnapped. You'll rescue her, no matter what. Leave the office.
>...You have appointments with a hell of a lot of people today. You'll do those first, THEN find Maria.
>Too suspicious to be worthwhile... You'll send in some Special Forces to find her.
>...Best to start calling people who might know where she is... Like the Serbian Emperor.
>Write-in
>Write-in
>>
>>764612
>...Best to start calling people who might know where she is... Like the Serbian Emperor.
Well that was the calmest kidnapping in progress I've ever heard.
>>
>>764621
Just saying that she changed a little last time you saw her

She sounded calm, strangely enough, so you decide to take your time. So you start dialing numbers to reach the Serbian "Emperor."
Eventually, he picks it up.

"Yes? Who is this?"

Actions.

>...This is motherfucking Viktorious of the goddamned United Mothefucking States. If you even HURT my sister a little bit, and if you kidnapped her, you'll be in a world of pain for the rest of your fucking short life...
>Hi. Do you know where my sister, Maria is?
>...Play nice. Ask him how ruling the Balkans is going, that sort of thing.
>...Just saying, I will be visiting shortly... For diplomatic reasons, yes...
>Write-In
>>
>>764633
>Hi. Do you know where my sister, Maria is?
Lets not jump to conclusions.
>>
"Hi. Do you know where my sister, Maria is?"

"...Oh. Erh, no actually."

"Why?"

"...She's uh... We've both sort of run into a spat."

"Why?"

"She wanted to explore the world, and I wanted to keep her here... So she sort of ran off. What happened to her?"

"...Nothing that you have to concern yourself with. So you don't know where she is?"

"Yeah... I think she left me actually."

Actions

>...Well, I'm sorry about that. If it makes you feel better, I've never been good with women either.
>...But from what I hear, she loved being with you... What's going on?
>...Did you hurt her in any sort of way?
>Why did she leave you? It has to be more then that.
>...So she could be anywhere? Fucking great...
>Hang up.
>Write-in
>>
>>764667
>Did she say where she was going? Any idea?
I hope Maria didn't enter an emo phase.
>>
"...Great. Fucking great. Did she say where she was going? Any idea?"

"No... But she did sort of mention something about the Caribbean or something."

Actions.

>...Thank you. I'll ask around.
>Right. Well, I hope you find another woman...
>...That's a lot of islands. Any specifics?
>...If she's in the Caribbean, then one government or another should of heard of her... Time to start calling...
>...Hang up.
>Write-in
>>
>>764707
>...That's a lot of islands. Any specifics?
>...Thank you. I'll ask around.
>...If she's in the Caribbean, then one government or another should of heard of her... Time to start calling...


>Rebels
>In the Caribbean
Now something is definitely up.
>>
>>764710
Maybe she went to Cuba, considering all the shit we've done to them i wouldn't be surprised at this point to here they are rebelling.
>>
>>764712
Yeah but we burnt the shit out of Cuba.
Everybody there is dead and all the buildings are burnt to ash.
Cause we drank the 4th largest oil deposit
>>
"Well, that's a lot of islands... Thank you, I'll ask around."

"Right. Just make sure she comes back safe, ok?"

You hang up, and quickly begin dialing in the numbers of Caribbean governments... Such as your new-founded puppet government in Cuba.

"President Frenandaz?"

"Si? Do you need something, Presidente?"

"Could you check on your esteemed person's list if a... Maria Thorrson shows up?"

"Si. I will check."

You call plenty of other Caribbean nations, most of course begin searching but two in particular insult you and piss you off enough where you start verbally assaulting them. Those two glorious nations... Seem to be Trinidad, and the Jamaicans.
Who are puppets of the Brazilian Empire... And are allied with Mexico and Peru.
So fucking great.

Actions

>...When being the president fails, it's time to resort to being a mob boss...
>...Call them back up, and threaten to push the Big Red Button (As in, Nuke the shit out of them.)
>...When being a president fails, it's time to be a presidential dragon. As in, threaten to burn their shit to the ground, stomp on the ashes, and steal their shit.
>...You can't do anything without risking a war. Hang up.
>...Send a few calls to the navy, and order them to "embargo" Jamaica and Cuba until they start searching.
>...Call the secretary of Defense and the war cabinet. You may or may not invade these islands... Both to find Maria... And to spread Democracy.
>Write-In

>>764720
That was Buenos Aries. As in Argentina.
>>
>>764749
Oh that's a shame.
>...Call the secretary of Defense and the war cabinet. You may or may not invade these islands... Both to find Maria... And to spread Democracy.
Manifest Destiny blah blah blah American dream blah blah blah Democracy.
>>
You sigh. That sure is a is a shame that you have to invade both Brazil, Mexico, Peru, Jamaica, and Trinidad.
Both for personal reason.
And for manifest destiny.

So of course, you begin calling up the secretary of defense and the war cabinet...

"Secretary of War?"

"Pentagon speaking. What is it?"

"We may or may not invade a few countries in the next few hours. I'm calling a meeting."

"Sir... What countries are these?"

"Jamaica, Trindad, Peru, Brazil, and Mexico."

"Sir, the American people would never agree to a war against these countries... It would prove to be extremely unpopular..."

Actions.

>...Yawn over the phone. You just want to vent your frustration by killing a few thousand people... To find Maria, of course.
>...Who cares what the people think?
>Oh. Right... Well, I'll be right back as soon as I get something to declare war over.
>...Hm... You need to make their alliance look threatening. And you are great at rhetoric. Call for a press conference later...
>They kidnapped my sister! Maybe! I don't know, actually!
>But they could have weapons of mass destruction.
>Save it for the meeting, damn it.
>Write-In
>>
>>764804
>But they could have weapons of mass destruction.
Doesn't even need to be real. We can just lie.
>...Hm... You need to make their alliance look threatening. And you are great at rhetoric. Call for a press conference later...
>>
>>764804
>Oh. Right... Well, I'll be right back as soon as I get something to declare war over.


Actually hearing our sons internal thoughts is making me like him a lot less than before.
>>
Going to wait fifteen more minutes anons.
>>
"...Well... They could have weapons of mass destruction, but I'll consider other options. If there's no other choice, I'll call a press conference later."

"Got it sir. The USA doesn't need more on it's plate then it can handle."

"God Bless."

You hang up, and consider your options. On second consideration, Trinidad and Jamacia make up... Well, barely a good percentage of the Caribbean, and they've always been pricks... Not to mention the loss of life, unpopularity of a war, and generally having to put more money into the armed forces... And it could disrupt this "civil rights" issue, with Martin Luther King Jr...

Your mind goes back to politics, on how Democrats refuse to sign a bill ending segregation, that sort of thing...
Being a president isn't too fun, honestly...

Actions.

>...Well, time to call that press conference. You can't really think of anything.
>Maybe call up the CIA. You can get something organized.
>...You have your own private CIA. It's called the Mafia. Call up your underboss.
>...You'll be paying a personal visit to Jamaica and Trinidad then.
>...Just wait until the other Caribbean governments call you back.
>Write-In
>>
>>764916
>...You'll be paying a personal visit to Jamaica and Trinidad then.
When you want it done right...
>>
You decide to pay a personal visit to Jamaica and Trinidad then. So of course, you put on hold your meetings and decide what you'll be doing...

Actions

>...Dragon. Shapeshift. Fly down there. That sort of thing.
>What? No. Your taking a more peaceful and less threatening stance... You'll take a private boat down there for a meeting...
>You'll just take an aircraft carrier with you, in case the Jamaicans or Trinidadians (or whatever they're called) refuse to talk.
>Write-In
>>
>>764972
>You'll just take an aircraft carrier with you, in case the Jamaicans or Trinidadians (or whatever they're called) refuse to talk.

Make sure the ship is decked out with American flags and everything.
>>
>>764980
This.
>>
You call a local aircraft carrier, who you decide to ask for transportation to Jamaica... And of course, decorated in American flags and other patriotic symbols...

It'll take a day or two, but it'll be well-worth it, hopefully.

You are back to being Renexizious!

And you really fucking hate the weather sometimes. And other people, because your trip has been nothing but your daughter trying to get more friends, and you running out of room to sit on Blondi, it's fucking raining...
Why did you ever become "good". It sucks...

But that's when you see Mousilion in the distance. And the lack of a swamp is... Nice, honestly... But you can tell Blondi is exhausted, and you can't help but be tired too.

Actions.

>Try to encourage Blondi to go farther!
>...Camp it is... Hopefully your daughter doesn't ask you for a bedtime story or something.
>You can get everyone there faster. Shapeshift to dragon form, put everyone on your back, and fly off.
>Write-In
>>
>>765012
>You can get everyone there faster. Shapeshift to dragon form, put everyone on your back, and fly off.
Don't complain Renexizious. This is what happens when you aren't their to corrupt your children at birth.
>>
>>765012
>You can get everyone there faster. Shapeshift to dragon form, put everyone on your back, and fly off.


We got shit to do.
>>
>>765012
>You can get everyone there faster. Shapeshift to dragon form, put everyone on your back, and fly off.
>>
You sigh, and get off of Blondi. You shapeshift, desummon Blondi, and put everyone on your back. And fly off to the palace.

You however, come up with a "dastardly" plan. Since her skaven and beastmen friends are by your back...

It's a little mean, but it's a great idea.
Actions.

>...Accidentally shake your back. This will send the Skaven and Beastmen flying off you. And either kill them, or get them to escape...
>No, your trying to be good... Keep those evil plans stowed away...
>Think about how sad Renexizia would be if her "friends" died... And angry towards you, maybe.
>...You should take this time to try and at LEAST make her semi like you. It's only proper for a dragon, anyways...
>...Loudly complain to Renexizia how she likes friends rather then slaves. You have to get it out somehow...
>Write-in
>>
>>765071
>No, your trying to be good... Keep those evil plans stowed away...
>>
>>765071
>...You should take this time to try and at LEAST make her semi like you.
I don't think we should keep letting her hate us.
>>
You shake that idea right out of your head, and you decide to do somesort of smalltalk towards her...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can get her to like you more! Additional +3 if you can talk about anything that she likes!
>>
Rolled 13 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>765120
>So when we go home you want butter?
Butter shall lead us to victory
>>
Rolled 8 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>765120
>>
13+7=20
Success!

"So... When we get home, do you want butter?"

"Sure! Butter tastes great, and you can roll around in it, and you can throw it at things..."

"I know, I know. I love butter too..."

"Butter is great!"

You chuckle a little bit, and it seems she slightly likes you a bit more for saying that.

After a little while, you set down outside of the Ducal Palace, and enter in a argument with the gate keeper about the Skaven and Beastmen following you... And when you nearly agree to them staying outside, Renexizia does... Big, watery eyes to you... Oh God, she knows it well. You continue arguing, if only for Renexizia's sake.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can convince the gatekeeper to let the filthy Skaven inside, along with the Beastmen. Additional +3 if you can argue why they're harmless, or if you can use Renexizia's adorableness to your advantage.
>>
Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>765185
Uh.... they're just animals. Also if all else fails we can use Renexizia on the guard by throwing her at him.
>>
Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>765185
They should let them in because we're a dragon and it's not like they could do anything without us stopping them.
>>
14+5=19

Borderlien Failure!

"Well... They're just animals, really."

"Dangerous ones! The Lord will naught like animals running around."

"They're not animals, they're people!" Yells Renexizia.

"Just let me in, I'm a dragon."

"I am not permitted to let threats past the gate which could harm Lord Richard! Beastmen and Skaven? What's next, inviting explosives in for a cup of tea?"

Actions.

>...Shapeshift and threaten the gatekeeper.
>Can they stay in the dungeon at least?
>...Throw Renexizia at the gatekeeper!
>Hold up Renexizia to eye-level with the gatekeeper. Maybe she can be adorable or something, you really don't know.
>Seriously, put them in binds and don't let them out of your sight then.
>...They can stay outside then, alright?
>Write-in
>>
>>765322
>Hold up Renexizia to eye-level with the gatekeeper. Maybe she can be adorable or something, you really don't know.
The power of cute shall compel him.
>>
>>765322
>Hold up Renexizia to eye-level with the gatekeeper. Maybe she can be adorable or something, you really don't know.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 for how adorable Renexizia can be.
>>
Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>765353
>>
Rolled 1 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>765353
Cute power.
>>
Use barbaric anons?

>Yes.
>No.
>>
>>765402
Yes
Barbaric cute.
Best kind
>>
>>765402
Yes
>>
Roll me a 1d20 for Renexizia to be cute. Autosuccess if you can come up with something barbarically adorable.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>765421
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>765421
With a lisp obviously
>Blood! Skulls! Rawr!
Then raise our hands over our head and do a monster walk.
Trip and fall on our butt for maximum adorable.
(Because failing basic motor functions is cute)
>>
She looks him in the eye, adorably.

"Blood! Skulls! Rawr!" She lets out a squeak.

The man seems kind of confused, and so are you. When did she become a Khornate?
Then she kinda flops in your arms, and the guy just seems... Well confused.

"I don't get paid enough to deal with Khornates." He just shakes his head, throws down his halberd, and drinks a lot of alcohol from a bottle of booze. So you go inside.

"...When did you become a Khornate?"

"I dunno what that is. It just felt natural."

...I think we've been spending TOO much time around Khorne, if saying chants for the Blood God is now in our DNA.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

...I grow concerned every day.

Hey, I gotta admit it's catchy.

Yeah, it is...

Actions.

>...You know, why don't we introduce her to Khorne? I mean, maybe that might lower her ethics a little.
>...We need to make her into a barbarian now, thanks.
>I wonder what those Khornates back in Sweden are doing... Oh God. We left them unattended, didn't we?
>...Well, since we're here, I'm going to bring her to Elizabeth, then I'm going straight to find Chrysoula and tumble her just so I can repay you for stealing my body earlier. And annoy you.
>Come on, let's introduce her to my wife...
>Write-in
>>
>>765497
>Come on, let's introduce her to my wife...

And have Renexizia say SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
>>
>>765497
>I wonder what those Khornates back in Sweden are doing... Oh God. We left them unattended, didn't we?
>Come on, let's introduce her to my wife...
>>
Come on... Let's introduce her to my wife.

You go inside, and up to Elizabeth's door. You hear snoring, and Renexizia is right next to you, along with Blondi. Renexizia seems really, really execited...

Actions.

>...Desummon Blondi.
>Renexizia, once you see your mother, yell Skulls for the Skull Throne as loud as possible, and charge her, ok?
>Knock on the door!
>Tell Renexizia to look "proper". Hopefully she has a half-dragon form or something.
>...Grab Renexizia and put her around your shoulders. If she'll let you, that is. Then charge into the room!
>Write-in
>>
>>765594
>...Desummon Blondi.
>...Grab Renexizia and put her around your shoulders. If she'll let you, that is. Then charge into the room!
>>
>>765594
>Tell Renexizia to look "proper". Hopefully she has a half-dragon form or something.
>>
You desummon Blondi, who whines before he disappears sadly.

"Do you have a half-dragon form or something?"

"What's that?"

"Let me show you..."

You shapeshift into your half-dragon form.

"Oh, I dunno honestly... I mean, I'll try!"

She does indeed, have a really fucking adorable half-dragon form, complete with a little tiny tail and claws. Holy shit, she's completely harmless. And so, you pick her up easily, and prepare to charge...

Roll me a 1d20+6 for how well this goes.
>>
Rolled 14 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>765640
Preparing my ones.
>>
Rolled 19 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>765640
Good to know our doughter isn't a retard
>>
19+6=25

Good Success!

You charge in, kicking the door open (off it's hinges, actually), and jump into the bed, waking up Elizabeth, while Renexizia laughs, having quite a bit of fun.

"What? What's going on?"

"I'm back! And you won't believe what I got!"

"Hi! I'm Renexizia!"

"I got you a daughter!"

Renexizia hugs Elizabeth... And you kind of feel left out.

"Can I get a hug?"

"...Well... Only because you helped me get here and make friends!"

She tries to hug the both of you, and Elizabeth seems happy.

"Well, I was trying to sleep, you know."

"And? Well, I'm back."

Elizabeth gets out of bed, Renexizia clinging to her back. Renexizia lets go, and Elizabeth then shifts into her half-dragon form, and closes the door. And drops in bed with you... The bed creeks under all of your collective weights.

"Might as well get protection from scratches."

Elizabeth, Renexizia, and you are in a great mood as you lay down and talk.

Elizabeth also seems to like the fact that her daughter isn't as independent as her sons, and is overwhelmingly friendly.

"So, Ren... How was the adventure to find her?"

"It was kinda boring. And long. At least with him. But by myself, I had tons of fun!"

"Oh, really? Well, tell me of your adventure once I'm done with your father, ok?"

She gives Renexizia a kiss on the check, and turns towards you.

Actions

>...It was kind of boring.
>...Well, now I'm curious. What did you do to get here?
>Well, sorry to say, but she sort of destroyed your palace.
>...I uh, crashlanded in your palace. Sorry. (Lie)
>Hug them all!
>Well, it was fun. If a bit long...
>She has a lot of friends, you know...
>Whisper to her that you can't wait to get some alone time with her.
>Well, I'd like it a lot better if my daughter wasn't so nice...
>...She kissed her? Well, guess you have to do the same.
>Write-In
>>
>>765737
>She has a lot of friends, you know...
>Hug them all!
>>
>>765751
This and
>>765737
>Well, sorry to say, but she sort of destroyed your palace.
>>
"You know, she has a of friends... A lot more then I'd expect."

You give both of them a huge hug...

"Well, also, I'm sorry to say, but she also sort of destroyed your palace."

"What?!"

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see how well she responds. Additional +2 if you can soften it, cover it up, or calm her down. Or use Renexizia.
>>
Rolled 15 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>765836
Renexizia needs to start pouting and acting real cute.
And a hug would help.
>>
15+6=21

Minor Success!

You hug her very tightly, and motion for Renexizia to pout and act adorable.

Elizabeth seems... Infuriated. And is taking deep breathes.

"...What do you mean, destroyed my palace?"

"Erh, well... It can be rebuilt, sweetheart... It's only vestigal damage, I think. Not everything was destroyed or covered in butter."

Roll me a 1d20+6 to try and explain this without pissing her off.
>>
Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>766011
This is gonna go so bad.
>>
12+6=18

Minor Failure!

"Besides, I think you can get a new pool... And a lot more books. And a new garden... Oh, and there's nothing in the kitchen... The throne's been flattened..."

"...A new garden?! A FLATTENED THRONE?! Are you telling m-"

"Well... There's nothing left there... And uh..."

Elizabeth has something akin to a death stare, and you quickly lose your nerves...

"Well uh..."

"And WHO THE FUCK DID THIS?! Who destroyed countless artifacts and historical content worth generations!?!"

She is red with pure anger, and Renexizia seems a little terrified. Meanwhile, your face loses all color... You have never seen her this angry before, actually.

Actions.

>...Erh... Uhm... It was... The elves?
>...I did?
>Please don't be angry towards her... She didn't know any better. It was Renexizia.
>...The Spanish invaded?
>The French?
>Shit, shit shit... You need to calm her down, now!
>I'll tell you later once you calm down, sweetheart...
>...Uh... Why don't I erh... Get you some more slaves? And food? You love that stuff!
>Do what no man has done before. Ask if she wants to tumble to get her anger out?
>Don't worry! I can get you a new, bigger, more beautiful palace!
>...Did I mention you'll be sleeping with ME now? In MY palace?
>Your wife needs to let off some (probably literal) steam. Tell her to rampage a little in dragon form. That always makes you feel better!
>Write-In
>>
>>766107
>Let's just keep calm.
>Please don't be angry towards her... She didn't know any better. It was Renexizia.
>>
"Come on, let's just keep calm... But please don't be angry towards her. She didn't kow and better... It was Renexizia."

"What?! Why?"

"I-I thought it would be fun..." She snuffles a little, and seems on the brink of crying...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if Elizabeth is detoured from being angry!
>>
>>766107
>Write-In
Place our hand inside hers, begin hugging and tell her to squeeze out her anger through our hand. Slowly stroke head and make comforting noises until she is calm.


Standard shit, can't make it worse.
>>
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>766233
>>
Rolled 15 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>766233
Please be gentle dice.
>>
15+5=20

Borderline Failure!

She ignores her plea... But softens noticeably.

"That is it! You are GROUNDED! Do you hear me?"

"W-What?"

"You are grounded! Go to... Fuck, Go to Ren's brother's room or whatever. And you will NOT come out until I say you can, got it? And you will think about what you did! And I expect you to come back with a damned good speech on how your sorry, and how you beg for my forgiviness! IS THIS UNDERSTOOD!?"

"O-ok..."

"I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!"

"Y-yes!"

"Good! If I catch you out, you will be in for a hell of a lot more then just a grounding!"

Renexizia runs away, scared of her mom. She still seems furious though.

"That was a bit harsh, Elizabeth..."

She growls a little, and puts a pillow over her head. It's clear she is NOT in a mood for talking, so you try talking by putting your hand on her shoulder and trying to relax her.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can relax her. Additional +2 if you can come up with any good ways of doing so.
>>
Rolled 20 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>766365
>Offer to go raiding with her
I could say technical this is our fault for not being there for the birth of an infant dragon and leaving that dragon within close proximity of valuables
>>
File: download (39).jpg (7 KB, 199x253)
7 KB
7 KB JPG
>>766393
Guess she's not angry anymore.
Maybe now she can unground Renexizia
>>
Critical Success!

"Come on Liz... Why don't we go raiding?"

She lifts the pillow off of her head.

"That sounds really fucking nice, actually."

"Really? Well, thanks."

Her previously red angry face cools down quite a bit... And she gives you a huge hug...

"I think I was... A little too harsh in what I said."

"You were, yeah."

"And no, I'm not ungrounding her yet... She has a lot to think about."

Actions.

>Liz, think about it... A proper dragon needs to destroy, rampage, eat, kill, enslave, murder, and generally be murderhobos. If she doesn't have destruction... She's basically a human with scales!
>Oh, come here... You can never do anything wrong Elizabeth...
>Come on, you'll feel a lot better after crushing some humans...
>Do you think we should bring Renexizia along? She's kind of soft around humans.
>I was surprised you weren't more harsh, honestly.
>...Why don't we explore something a little more... Deeper? Like tumbling? (Charisma)
>Come on, now we know not to be irresponsible and leave our eggs alone in places with valuables in it.
>...We shouldn't leave. She might try to destroy the ducal palace like your palace.
>...Just curious, are you hungry for humans at all? I mean, you never ate humans before. Besides that one time. When you were pregnant.
>Let's get some food on the way there, ok?
>You need more adorable. Summon Smaug and Blondi!
>Come on, can you unground her? Please please please?
>Well, could her grounding be explaining Dragon Ethics to her? As in, she comes with us whether she likes or not and has to help us raid?
>Write-In
>>
>>766471
>Come on, now we know not to be irresponsible and leave our eggs alone in places with valuables in it.
>I was surprised you weren't more harsh, honestly.
>Come on, you'll feel a lot better after crushing some humans...
>>
>>766471
>Well it's not like she knew better. She's less than a day or two old. We should just try to teach her ourselves. We did leave her on her own.
>>
"Well, it's not like she knew better. She's less than a day or two old... We should just try to teach her ourselves. We did leave her on her own. But I am surprised you weren't more harsh..."

"...Really? I mean... I yelled at her... I rarely have to yell at our children, you know..."

"I know... Come on, now we know not to be irresponsible an leave our eggs in places with valuables in it... But come on, you'll feel a lot better after crushing some humans."

She nods her head and gets up, and the two of you head outside, shapeshift, and begin to fly...

"So... Where do you want to raid?"[/re]

"The nearest and biggest place. I need to get my frustration out."

"Any slaves?"

"No."

"...So you just want to brutally stomp on some humans and grind their faces into the ground?"

"Yes. What, did you think I came here on a good mood or something?" She says, somewhat like a joke.

Actions

>...I mean, my raids rarely involve me killing someone...
>...Erh, we aren't going to kill and destroy everyone, are we? I don't know if the Empire would like that.
>Can we go back and get Renexizia for her education? You know, to be a full on dragon?
>...Well, let's focus your destructive energies... (Specify where to raid, either the Empire, Imperial-Bretonnia, Estalia, Lustria, or just the nearest place)
>Well... I think you should do that on your own. I'm trying to be good after all...
>Oooh, another Buenos Aires maybe?
>This isn't going to solve anything, Liz. You'll just end up killing innocent people. People with families and pets. And children.
>Write-in
>>
>>766573
>...Well, let's focus your destructive energies... (Specify where to raid, either the Empire, Imperial-Bretonnia, Estalia, Lustria, or just the nearest place)
Lustria
>>
>>766573
>...Well, let's focus your destructive energies
Lustria

Also I think the character sheet needs updating. I don't think Renexizia is in it yet.
>>
>>766573
>Write-in
"In that case, how about we go kill some bandits and such? That'll help with my whole being good thing and help you exercise your emotions."
>>
Yeah, I'll get to that a little later.

You decide to visit Lustria. You never actually went there, and it's mostly jungle.
And it's basically Fantasy Brazil.

"How about Lustria?"

"Where's that?"

"Oh... A good few miles eastward."

"I WANT to destroy something close, not some fucking place across an ocean."

"Oh. Well, in that case how about we go kill bandits or something? It'll help your emotions and me trying to be good."

"No, that's not the same..."

Actions.

>Come on, bandits can be fun....
>Lustria isn't that far away. It'll only take a few hours...
>Fine. Let's raid something close by then.
>Can you NOT try to kill everyone? Please?
>...This raiding thing was a bad idea.
>Write-in
>>
>>766660
>Okay then
Let's just head to somewhere nearby and pray she at least leaves some survivors
>>
>>766715
>Fine. Let's raid something close by then.
>Can you NOT try to kill everyone? Please?
>>
>>766715
>Lustria isn't that far away. It'll only take a few hours...
>It's a place of exotic wildlife, jungle Ruins and untold riches. It'll be worth all the distance.

IIRC The lizard people having birthing ponds but they're few and irreplaceable. I kind of want to toy around with them and see if we can replicate them.
>>
"Fine, let's raid something nearby. Can you leave survivors... Please?"

"We'll see. But no."

"Pleeeassee?"

"No."

You sigh, and fly over a small village. Before you can say anything, she descends down unto the small village...

Actions.

>Let her handle it, you don't want to get your hands messy.
>Shout positive encouragement from above?
>...You'll help her. She'll be in a better mood... And you can get some slaves!
>You'll "help" her. But in actuality, you'll just be stomping around, eating some stuff and looking intimidating.
>You'll "help" but actually hinder her by trying to get as many people to escape as possible.
>Become Elizabeth! (PoV switch!)
>Write-In
>>
>>766785
If we can then we'd have a strong bargaining item with them, perhaps enough to gain control of a minor amount of their people and some land.


I want to take over this world, but I want to do it a little more... diplomatically than our previous methods. Convincing rulers to sign over lands to us, defeating tyrants and uniting it under us before bringing it to a more modern technological standard.
>>
>>766836
>Let her handle it, you don't want to get your hands messy.
Just watch for now,

>>766851
I think Lustria is a good place to start then. It's isolated from the rest of the world so taking it over won't set off alarms in say the Empire and it's populated by lizardmen which are basically our kin. The only issue is gaining the trust of the Slaan.
>>
>>766889
I'll support this
>>
You decide to let her handle it, so you watch... Planning for a conquest of this world. That sort of thing.

So, planning conquest of this world, eh?

Well, yes.

Shouldn't we conquer the world in our dimension?

Eh. We basically already own it.

That's true. But whenever we leave civil unrest increased heavily... Unless you mean to leave our kids in control.

You hear screams from below, and see Elizabeth is doing a good job in surrounding the village in flame.

...Well...


Actions.

>We basically already own the world and any further shit is basically just us making a map a unified color.
>It's our vacation, ok? I plan world conquest here when I'm done back home.
>What can I say? It's much more of a challenge here then back home somehow.
>You know... I think your right. Our kids should rule. We're leaving more and more often...
>...I have an idea. What if the original ruler... Just, well. Rules normally, while we just collect tribute and tell them what to do once in a while? It sounds a lot less intensive then ruling a nation head on.
>Well, if two dimensions worship me eventually, then I'll become a god much faster and easier, right?
>Write-In
>>
File: Spoiler Image (312 KB, 1115x1386)
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>>766967
>You know... I think your right. Our kids should rule. We're leaving more and more often...
>Well, if two dimensions worship me eventually, then I'll become a god much faster and easier, right?

There's no possible way that could backfire
>>
>>766889
My knowledge of this part of the warhammer universe is extremely limited, but I would suggest we go with the standard methods of bribing, intimidation, logical arguments and such.


>>766967
>What can I say? It's much more of a challenge here then back home somehow.
>Well, if two dimensions worship me eventually, then I'll become a god much faster and easier, right?
>Write-In
"Not to mention, governance is so much more indirect in this world, if we leave the people don't consider rebeling or leaving. We only need to turn up, tell them what to do every so often and assuming they can, they'll do.

Meanwhile on earth, they will complain to unions, to the media, to each other and just be a general bother."
>>
>>767011
There's this one youtuber name Arch Warhammer. He does a lot of good videos covering warhammer lore, both fantasy and 40k. He has an entire series covering each individual faction in fantasy. I would recommend that you go there for information regarding warhammer.
>>
>>767044
I'll consider it.
>>
I just like having an actual challenge. And if two dimensions worship me at once, then I'll become a god faster and easier, right? Besides, governance is so much more indirect in this world, because if we leave people don't consider rebelling or leaving, and we just show up, tell them what to do, and they'll do it. Meanwhile on earth, they complain about every fucking little thing...

Right, right... I just don't want to leave home and abandon or kids and shit. Besides, I love Sweden...

Your wife comes up besides you, and you see the village has been coated in flames and stomped upon. And there's no survivors. Lovely!

"Liz... How exactly did you breathe fire?"

"I don't know. I found out I could one day though."

"Really? Huh."

It seems your wife has mutated to breathe fire earlier. Huh.

"Well, is there any survivors?"

"Of course not."

Roll me a 1d20-4 to see if your wife is satisfied by this or not.

>>767044
Yeah, he's pretty cool. And if you want to get triggered, watch his videos about Feminists complaining about 40k and fantasy. I got triggered really fucking hard.
>>
Rolled 17 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>767070
Oh shit, that's where I know that name from! I saw his video on the MLPA stream a while back!
>>
Rolled 8 - 4 (1d20 - 4)

>>767070
At least it's not us facing Liz's killer breath.

>>767070
Fucking Mary Sues man...
>>
File: 1476160709182.png (421 KB, 680x586)
421 KB
421 KB PNG
Rolled 3 - 4 (1d20 - 4)

>>767070
I'm scared of Liz right now.
>>
17-4=13

"So, you good?"

"No... I need something bigger, damn it..."

Your wife still seems very frustrated, and this time, you soar over a very large town.... She even laughs evilly.
Is that a good or bad sign?

You decide it's a good sign, that she's getting used to being a dragon.
And terrifying you at the same time.

Hot.

Is it just me, or is Liz scaring me a little?

Well... Truth be told, better them then us. And besides, I would be frustrated if my palace would be burned down. Though not THIS frustrated.

Hey uh, just gonna come in with the scientific facts, but didn't you make it so she gets angrier a lot more?

...Well, it was a side effect.

Yeah... Great. Well, since she's going to be doing this for a while...

Yeah. We will.

Roll me a 1d20 to see if Liz does destroy this town, or stops being angry.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>767143
Rollan in my hiding corner
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>767143
We should probably try to produce some sort of counter to that side-effect.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>767143
>>
19

Good Success!

After a little while she stomps at least half of the settlement, and sets a little bit of it ablaze, and flies back up to you, much calmer then before.

"Now, let's head back, shall we?"

"Y-yeah."

"Something wrong?"

"You kind of... Well, just saying but your terrifying when you get angry."

"Oh, really? Well, thanks."
She gives you a kiss, probably thinking it was a compliment. Which you gladly take.

Actions.

>...You uh, kinda want to make sure she's on your side still. Ask if she'd like to tumble since she's in a much better mode.
>...So uh, like destroying villages that much? Hopefully this isn't a hobby now...
>...So... How would you like to sleep with me once we head back home?
>Just stay silent.
>...Are you uh, pissed at me for anything? Just curious.
>...I really do hope Renexizia doesn't inherit your anger...
>Write-In
>>
>>767200
>...So... How would you like to sleep with me once we head back home?
>>
"So, how would you like to sleep with me when we get back home?"

"To earth or the ducal palace?"

"Both?"

"I don't see why not... Because Renexizia destroyed my palace." She sighs.
It doesn't seem to be anger, but rather disappointment.

"Oh. Well..."

Actions.

>...I didn't mean that type of sleeping. I meant tumbling together.
>Both? Well, I was tired anyways.
>Come on, we should get Renexizia to sleep with us. She's our kid and we have to protect her. Also so you stop being disappointed towards her.
>I'm uh... Well, for now I'm going to be in a different bedroom until you cool down a little, ok?
>Wait, really? Well, sure!
>...Can I just mention something? You were the only reason why I started sleeping in human beds rather then sleeping on the ground in my dragon form... And I love you for that.
>Just saying you'd have to sleep with my other wives back home as well...
>...I have a question. Would you mind if one of the other girls slept with us tonight? (Specify which one)
>Write-in
>>
>>767323
>She didn't mean anything bad by it. She's innocent and maybe a bit too naïve and a bit impulsive. She didn't know it was wrong.
>Come on, we should get Renexizia to sleep with us. She's our kid and we have to protect her. Also so you stop being disappointed towards her.
>>
>>767389
This. She dindu nuffin
>>
"She didn't mean anything bad by it. She's innocent and maybe a bit too naive and a bit impulsive. She didn't know it was wrong."

"I wish she vandalized the French or Spanish instead. Now that, I could laugh at..."

"Encourage, maybe?"

"If it's French or Spanish, it had it coming." She mutters a few curse words under her breath as you fly off.

"Huh. Well, come on. We should get her to sleep with us. She's our kid and we have to protect her. Also so you stop being disappointed towards her."

"Couldn't we get her a bed?"

"Well, sure..."

"But let me guess, you want to spend more time with her?"

"Yeah... That too. She doesn't like me at all."

"Really? Huh. Well, let's just get back, ok?"

Roll me a 1d20-1 to see if Renexizia did anything "productive"
>>
Rolled 2 - 1 (1d20 - 1)

>>767444
This is worrisome.
She's just straight destructive.
>>
Rolled 20 - 1 (1d20 - 1)

>>767444
Hopefully she robbed some Estalian merchants or something
>>
Critical Success!

When you come back, you land in front of the Ducal Palace, and the two of you walk in... You smell something... Like flour?
You see set out on a table, and with your brother Richard and Renexizia... A cake.

"What the hell?"

"Renexiiza? I thought I-"

You look at the cake, and you see the words "I'M SORRY" crudely drawn on it with frosting.
Where the fuck did they get frosting?

"Oh."

"I made this for you, since you were so mad at me mom! I'm sorry!"

"...Do I get a slice?"

"No! Only mom!" She smiles widely.

"Oh... Well, Great. Now I can't be mad."

She goes over to Richard.

"Did you help in this?"

"Well, it was my idea. Also, because she was riding down a stairwell on a mattress..."

Elizabeth sighs and pats Renexizia on the head.

"I'm sorry about yelling earlier, ok?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I just get angry easily..."

She pats her on the head, and you sigh. You want some of that cake. Elizabeth comes over to you.

"Well, that was certainly unexpected..."

"Yeah, I didn't expect him to get frosting. Where the fuck did he get fr-"

"It's ice just colored blue."

'Wait, seriously?"

"Yeah, and it's melting. So, you want to help me or not?"

"How would he even bake it?"

"...He baked it apparently, then Renexizia froze it solid."

"So it's a frozen solid cake? With the frosting being just blue ice?"

"There's also a crude drawing of a dragon on it. And a smiley face."

"...Now I'm curious how frozen cake tastes."

"Well, come on, I need your help."

Actions.

>...A baked cake which was frozen? And is still frozen? No, I'm good.
>It's yours, eat it.
>...I'll uh, just have a little bit, please.
>Well, I guess Richard and Renexizia get along well.
>...At least she didn't try to blow anything up this time.
>...We need to get a babysitter, and fast.
>You should yell more often. We'd get more cake.
>...Write-In
>>
>>767552
>Sure, Why not.
We need one of our other children as babysitters if we can.
I think they're the only ones that could handle her.
Or maybe Lorraine.
>>
>>767552
>...I'll uh, just have a little bit, please.
>...At least she didn't try to blow anything up this time.
>>
>>767552
>...I'll uh, just have a little bit, please.
>Well, I guess Richard and Renexizia get along well.

Adorable. Good thing it only takes like 2 weeks for Ren's kids to become adults.
>>
"Well... Sure, why not.?"

You help eat the cake with Elizabeth, and you have to admit, frozen cake is damned good.

Especially since there was filling of butter. Elizabeth doesn't like it, but you certainly do.

After a little while, Elizabeth heads to bed, while Richard cleans up a little.

Leaving you alone with Renexizia.

"Soo... Am I grounded still?'

"Ask your mom, ok?"

"Aw..."

"Don't do that... Now, why don't you sleep with me and your mom tonight?"

"Erh, why?"

Actions

>...Well, your grounded. So you HAVE to sleep with us.
>So you don't blow anything up while we sleep.
>...Come on, it'll be fun. I'll uh... You know, I'll read you a story. I've never actually done that before to any of my kids.
>...You can sleep with her, but some of my other wives might be a little jealous because I haven't really been seeing her much...
>...Hold on... Why don't I introduce you to my wives? And Flame's wife?
>...It's going to suck when you grow up.
>Write-In
>>
>>767669
>...Well, your grounded. So you HAVE to sleep with us.
>...Come on, it'll be fun. I'll uh... You know, I'll read you a story. I've never actually done that before to any of my kids.

In retrospect, Ren could've been a lot better dad.
>>
>>767695
It doesn't help that they grew so quickly. Or that shit kept coming up...
>>
>>767695
It was really obvious Ren was not good at being a dad.
>>767669

>Because you aren't going to get to do it when you're older so you should enjoy it now.
>>
>>767730
>>767733
At least he's better then his mom I guess.
>>
>>767747
That's fair and a true assessment.
She didn't even look for us.
Ren actually put in some effort.
>>
"Well... You are grounded. So you'll HAVE to sleep with us. And besides, it'll be uh... Fun. I'll read you a bedtime story."

I just fucking realized I never did that before...

Well, our kids do grow up fast and we were always busy.

Well, yeah.

...I mean, just saying we could probably find a way to slow down their growth or something...

Actions.

>...I'd never do that. Never.
>...Given a chance, I'd do all this again. You know, try to properly raise all my kids, spend time with them... I mean, at least a year's worth of time would be enough.
>...That's... Well, I don't like it. I prefer leaving it as it is.
>...I have to do it if I want to be a good dad, I guess.
>...You know, I bet a lot could be avoided if we had our kids grow up a lot slower...
>...Just saying, do you think there's some chance that it could degrade progress? Like make an adult into a teen or something?
>I'd never do that to my kids...
>Write-In
>>
>>767811
>...Given a chance, I'd do all this again. You know, try to properly raise all my kids, spend time with them... I mean, at least a year's worth of time would be enough.
Our children never had a real childhood.
Huh.
>>
>>767811
>...Given a chance, I'd do all this again. You know, try to properly raise all my kids, spend time with them... I mean, at least a year's worth of time would be enough.

Although it isn't necessarily bad that they leave the house so soon. Just saying.
>>
>>767858
I have an important question.
Do we even know if our children have friends
I assume they do.
It'd depressing if they don't.
>>
You know, given a chance I'd do this all again. You know, try to properly raise all my kids, spend time with them... I mean, a year's worth of time would be enough.

Yeah... Great, now I feel bad because our kids never really grew up properly...

Yeah, same.

Actions.

>...We should start trying to make something to slow their aging down...
>...Do you think we should try to make our current kids children again? I mean, just saying...
>...Let's not do it. It's just... Well, it's not needed.
>I just sort of realized we never gave them a birthday party or anything. Now I feel even worse. Great... And I never had one.
>...Well, we can always have more kids. I don't see any of our wives becoming infertile any time soon.
>Fuuuck I'm getting depressed. Let's think about something else, like cats or puppies.
>Write-In
>>
>>767927
>Fuuuck I'm getting depressed. Let's think about something else, like cats or puppies.


Need sleep, must go, don't fuck stuff up. Please.
>>
>>767887
Let's see here.

>Viktor
He's the president of the US and has connections with the mob I would guess he does.

>Charlemagne
I think he's a vampire neet or something constantly studying so I'm skeptical

>Maria
She's married with the king of Serbia so yes.

>Whats his face
He's in college and lives like a college student so yes.

>What's his face #2
I think we have one son becoming kaiser of Germany so yes.

>What's his face #3
He kidnapped and married a Austrian princess in true dragon fashion

>What's her face
IIRC we have one daughter who's into fencing and is friends with Hans.

There are others but I don't want to bother looking at the character sheet to look at their names. Also I might've confused the wannabe kaiser and kidnapper for the same one. I also think we put one in charge of Italy.

>>767927
>...Well, we can always have more kids. I don't see any of our wives becoming infertile any time soon.
>Fuuuck I'm getting depressed. Let's think about something else, like cats or puppies.
>>
>>767984
Revenaris is the Kaiser one iirc.
>>767927
>I just sort of realized we never gave them a birthday party or anything. Now I feel even worse. Great... And I never had one.
>>
Charlemagne isn't a vampire neet. That's Julius. Charlemagne is the religious/fascist one who is in charge of Italy.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Now I'm getting depressed. But we can always have more kids... Now I'm going to think of cats and puppies, ok?"

You think of adorable things while you pick up Renexizia and head to bed.

And read her a bedtime story... Half way through of course, she passes out.
Great

You pass out soon afterwards... And feel a bit stronger.

You have mutated!

>Upgrade Mutation!
>Unstable Mutation!
>Stable Mutation!
>Ultra-Unstable Mutation!
>NEW: Chaos Mutation (You are synchronized enough with Chaos to receive a Chaos Mutation!)
>>
>>768047
In that case I think he's also the one who kidnapped the Austrian princess.
>>
>>768061
Do we have enough to get a third head?
(Hydra Ren wen?)
>>
>>768061
>Stable Mutation!
I think we should show an example to Little Ren right now. Don't get mutations that mark you out as a heretic.
>>
Well, you have enough to upgrade to a third head, yes.
>>
>>768089
Then I'll vote for that.
We can eat more things at once and maybe fire our three breath attacks at once.
>>
Waiting fifteen minutes.
>>
I'll go with getting a 3rd head just because it's more outlandish and we get another companion.
>>
Third head it is. Huh.

So, choose how this head works.

>Same as Flame's head... Sentient and you can transfer consciousnesses between them.
>Auxiliary Head: The head acts like a back-up generator, and is similar to a mirror image of you. So it talks at the same time you do, saying the same words, that sort of thing. Fenrir can occupy this head as well.

Oh, and choose an element for it to breathe.

>Fire! MORE FIRE!
>Ice! Your curious on what other ice dragons are like!
>...Acid? Acid sounds cool, honestly.
>How about... Is sun a thing? Like, breathing light or something? Energy, basically. You know, lasers and shit.
>You don't want a breathe attack on this one.
>How about... Lightening? That sounds cool!
>Is uh... Well, you know some necromancy... Maybe a third head which can breathe necromantic energy?
>You are going to shamelessly steal an idea. Maybe a head that can use blood or something? Like, spit blood? You don't really know.
>Write-In

If anons want to, you can come up with name for the new head already... Bonus points if it fits the theme of the element.
>>
>>768193
>Same as Flames head.
>How about... Is sun a thing? Like, breathing light or something? Energy, basically. You know, lasers and shit.
Lasers bro.

Let's call him Blast.
Or flare?
Or how about Sol.
Or maybe Laz.
(Laz for Later)
>>
>>768222
>Later
I meant Lazer.

Though now that I think about it I like Flare the best.
Energy Flare.
Solar Flare.
Etc
>>
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>>768193
>Same as Flame's head... Sentient and you can transfer consciousnesses between them.
>How about... Is sun a thing? Like, breathing light or something? Energy, basically. You know, lasers and shit.

I think we all know any to call him if he is ken to the sun. Also RIP Solaire. You were too pure for a no poise system
>>
>>768252
Holy shit yes.
Sol
Or solaire
>>
[yellow]Testing here, please ignore.[/yellow]

I sort of wish there was more text formatting, since I like color-coding...

Also, waiting ten more minutes.
>>
>>768265
So Solaire it is.

>>768271
That's a bummer. What colors can you use now?
>>
>>768293
Maybe italic red.
No one is using that I think.
>>
Solaire it is.

You get up out of pain, your neck hurting like hell...

Hail! I am Solaire! You hear from inside your head, with a rather chevalier attitude

Ren? We got a new guy.

I am Solaire! You may call me Sol! Now, who are you?

I'm uh, Ren. And this is Flames.

I see! Well met!

Yeah... You kind of sound... Like a knight.

Do not fear! I am truly a knight of GREAT and most wondrous renown, and so long as there are many a damsel to rescue, there shall be no quarrel between me and my compatriots, if my name is not Sir Solaire Thorsson! Praise the sun!

I see.

Actions.

>...Well, great. What can you do?
>Is there any problem with me raiding humans, eating them, and making deals with daemons?
>Cool! Why don't we take you out for a test drive?
>Hey uh.... Mind if I ask what color you are?
>Great, a knight...
>...There will be many damsels. More then you can count.
>...Does kidnapping damsels work too? Just curious.
>Write-In

Going to try Italic Red for Sol.
>>
>>768336
>Great, a knight...
This is gonna be fun...we got a white knight now.
>...Well, great. What can you do?
>>
>>768336
>Great, a knight...
>...There will be many damsels. More then you can count.
It's time for some JOLLY COOPERATION!
>>
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>>768373
>>
Great. A knight.

A knight of GREAT RENOWN!

Yes. Truly.

We're going to get all the bitches now!

Shush you. Yes, we will. Sol, there will be MANY damsels. More then you can count.

Huzzah!

What's going o- Son of a bitch, we got a new guy...

Yeah!

Huzzah! Now... What are we doing?

Sleeping, mostly.

That doesn't exactly ring of ADVENTURE and GLORY you know!

Why do you randomly yell words?

Because it is my KNIGHTLY OATH to do so! Praise the sun!

I bet the Christians did this.

No, the Jews did this.

I bet the elves did this...

Haha! Now, how about a pint of ale?

We can't drink anything in this form right now... Which sucks, honestly.

Hm...

Well... Just a quick question, are you "fantasy knight" or just "Christian knight?"

Of course I am a christian! God is the sun? Did you think I was somesort of Jewish knight? He guffaws aloud.

You won't mind if we do... Unchristian things, right?

Only I hold myself to a code of UTMOST CHIVALRY and KNIGHTLY VALUES! He proclaims.

Actions

>...This is interesting now. Great.
>...Can you be quiet? I need sleep.
>...If you try to convince me to become Catholic again, I'll kick your ass to the sun.
>...Khorne's better, but whatever.
>So... Since I'm awake, why don't I take Sir Solaire for a test drive?
>Write-In
>>
>>768450
>So... Since I'm awake, why don't I take Sir Solaire for a test drive?
Maybe we can find a bandit camp or some other group of evil people and wreck them.
>>
>>768450
>So... Since I'm awake, why don't I take Sir Solaire for a test drive?

Is we just opened up a can of (pleasant) worms.
>>
So, since I'm awake... Why don't I take Sir Solaire for a test drive!

Huzzah! Truly, an experience that will result in LEVEL GAIN!

...Level gain?

...Shush you. Now, where are we going?

Actions.

>...How would you feel about pillaging a village?
>Let's hunt down bandits for our bro.
>Hypothetical question... How would you react if I pillaged a village?
>Well, let's loot some ships or something.
>...Let's find some Orks!
>Let's use Renexizia's friends as fodder!
>Let's just randomly shoot his breath and see what happens!
>Write-In
>>
>>768515
>Let's hunt down bandits for our bro.
Time for some MAD GAINZ
>>
>>768515
>...Let's find some Orks!
Solaire shouldn't have a issue with Orcs, Skaven or raiders of any sort.
>>
You of course, leave the house to ADVENTURE as Sol likes to put it.

So, after a little while, you find a small band of four Orks camping in the woods, eating meat. Of what kind, you don't know. And they don't see you at all.

Actions.

>...Solaire, take the shot! Show me your moves!
>...Eh, first land and demand their surrender. If they refuse, pew pew...
>Sol, any problems with eating Orks?
>Ice breath. You'd prefer to avoid starting a forest fire.
>Just land on them.
>Look for something BIGGER.
>Write-In
>>
>>768583
>...Solaire, take the shot! Show me your moves!

>inb4 it turns out he actually shoots lightning
>>
Take the shot, Solaire!

You feel some inner heat inside, right by your stomach...

Roll me a 1d20 for LASER ATTACK. Higher=Bigger laser!
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>768616
FIRING MA LAZER.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>768616
>>
13

The laser shot is decently wide, and is pure yellow energy! The shot incinerates the Orks, leaving nothing but dust! On the outer rim of the laser shot, seems to be fire as well!

...Cool!

Huzzah! Yet another band of brigands defeated!

Your stomach however, growls sharply and loudly, and you realize you need food.

Fuck... I feel hungry now.

I believe my laser uses the contents of your stomach to heat itself to fire! So everything in it turns to superheated gas...

Plasma?

If my breath charged up, it surely would be a big ball of plasma energy!

So uh... I'm fucking starving. Can you not use everything in my stomach?

Well, then it would be a very weak laser beam!

You sigh, your stomach starving... And your breath smelling like steaming butter.... Mhmh... Butter.

Actions

>...Come on, let's head back.
>...Well, you might as well eat a ton of dirt. It's... Disgusting, but you can eat it...
>Well then... Time to find food then. Fly around!
>You know what to do. Find a village. Maybe they have butter. Or people. Or both.
>Write-In
>>
>>768687
>...Well, you might as well eat a ton of dirt. It's... Disgusting, but you can eat it...
It'll have to do.
>>
You decide to eat a ton of dirt!

Roll me a 1d20 to see if you can stomach it! Additional +4 if you can come up with excuses to yourself on why you lowered yourself to eating dirt!
>>
>>768687
>...Well, you might as well eat a ton of dirt. It's... Disgusting, but you can eat it...
mhmmm... so rich in nutrients.
>>
Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>768713
Oh my god the nutrients are amazing! We're helping the environment!
>>
Rolled 15 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>768713
Ren it's lasers man.
>>
16+4=19

Success!

You give yourself some excuses, and eat the dirt, pretending it's butter. After a little while, you make a small depression in the land, and you burp, full of dirt. You can even see a slight bulge... Probably still from Buenos Aires... You feel more disgusted you didn't eat some lowly humans or buildings... That's what they're there for...

Actions.

>Go to find another bandit camp!
>Head home!
>...Shoot a laser at the dirt. Take that, you stupid worm shit...
>Write-in
>>
>>768769
>Go to find another bandit camp!
Preferably those rat fuck skaven
>>
You decide to find ANOTHER bandit camp, deep in the wilds. After a bit, you come across a small abandoned castle, with... Skaven patrolling it. You motion for Solarien to fire....

Actions.

>...You want it huge and big. Order him to charge it!
>FIRE!
>Nah, you'd rather crush and kill them.
>Write-In
>>
>>768818
>...You want it huge and big. Order him to charge it!
Make sure he doesn't swallow the laser
Else we might explode.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4 for devastation.
>>
Rolled 7 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>768837
Make it rain lasers man.
>>
Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>768837
>>
12+6=18

Good Success!

The laser shot seems superheated, and seems to be BLUE... And the plasmaimpact causes a large blue explosion inside the ruins of the castle, causing it to collapse... Of course, there seems to be no blood or corpses, since it was all incinerated. Oh, and some trees have caught fire.

Steam however, comes from nearly every orifice in your body, and it takes you a minute to recover... Only for your stomach to be starving again... You do notice a Skaven or two has survived, albit with minor burns...

Actions.

>...Just eat some... Ugh, more dirt...
>Head home... You'll eat something there.
>...Eat some skaven!
>Maybe you can hunt for animals or something... That sounds a lot tastier...
>You shouldn't be eating so much. You might gain weight or something... Head back!
>...Sorry Flames, but I found your replacement!
>Write-In
>>
>>768878
>...Eat some skaven!
Some 3rd degree burned rat sounds pretty good right about now.
>>
>>768878
>Eat some skraven
Flames is basically a fuel efficient version of Solaire.
>>
Flames can also do Magma. Which is good.
And if anons felt like going full Overlord, getting a lava moat or something. Also, Flames can set things on fire rather then just lazor them.

You decide to eat some Skaven... Roll me a 1d20 to see if there's enough to sate your hunger for lazor beams.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>768922
Now I really want to become a hydra. But then there would probably be too many heads to keep track off when you count Fenrir and Khorne.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>768922
Can that hunger ever truly be sated?
>>
No. Literally because Renexizious is always hungry.

9

Great Failure!

There's the odd survivor here and there, which you eat of course, but there simply isn't... Well, anything left. You feel disappointed...
And a little empty inside, probably because your hungry as well.

Hey uh, I think we should be getting back. It's nearly morning... And we didn't even sleep at all.

NONSENSE! We must blow more things up and devour and disintegrate more brigands! Tis' the way of a dragonknight!

I like him. Did I mention I like him?

Ren, your going a little too laser happy with Sol. Calm down, and head back to bed. There'll be plenty of lasers and explosions in the future, OK?

Actions.

>You aren't my dad...
>Ok ok, fine. We'll go back.
>...Just... Just one more explosion? Please?
>*Loud stomach growl*
>Can we eat some more things?
>I didn't think you'd like us eating people, Solaris.
>Write-In
>>
>>768988
>Ok fine we can slay more brigands later.
>*Loud stomach Growl* but we should get more food when we head back.
>>
>>768988
>Ok ok, fine. We'll go back.
>>
Ok, ok. We'll slay more brigands later....

You let loose a hungry stomach growl...

But I am eating a fuckton when we get back, ok?

Got it.

You fly back home, and touch down... And quickly head to the kitchen. You begin to gorge yourself on food, and after a while you feel... Well, sated at the most. You begin to leave when you see Frankizka walk, apparently curious.

"Oh. I thought someone was awake. "

"Shouldn't you be holding a candle or something? You could trip. It is very dark out..."

"I'm a vampire, Renexizious. I can see at night."

"Oh, right... I was uh, just helping myself to some food."

"I see."

"Did I wake you up?"

"I'm always up at this hour. Anyways, there's a thousand year old wine in the basement... And it's just as good as you think it is."

'It's dust?"

"What? No. It's traditional noble Bretonnian wine. It's amazing... Probably would be better if drink didn't give me the value of a walnut."

"Yeah..."

Frankizka sits down at a chair.

"So... You've been busy for the past couple of days. Mind if I ask why?"

"Care if I ask why your curious?"

"Well, I'd like to spend time with you, that's all... Also I've grown accustomed to you going to bed when I wake up."

"Generally you stay asleep during that..."

"No, I'm wide awake. I just choose to stay in bed for a little bit."

"So, you want me to sleep with you, basically?"

"That would be nice, yes."

Actions.

>...Let me guess, you also want some of my blood?
>Sorry, but uh... Not while my wife and kid is here, ok? I said I'd sleep with them...
>I was wondering if you were getting lonely... Sure.
>Finally over the fact I asked if you wanted slaves?
>You know... When was the last time we tumbled? Two months ago?
>Sorry I'm not around more often, I was searching for my kid... I was also exploring a little...
>...Hey uh, quick question... Is Constaniza still here? Turns out I'm staying longer.
>Write-In
>>
>>769084
>Sorry I was busy cause my child had hatched from her egg and proceeded to destroy Liz's palace get to Paris and enter the portal and end up here.
>And I have another head now by the way.
And maybe let Solaire say hi.
>>
>>769084
>Sorry I'm not around more often, I was searching for my kid... I was also exploring a little...
>Also getting new heads
>>
"Well, I'm sorry I'm not around more often. I was searching for my kid... I was exploring a little... And I got a new head."

"I can see that."

Hello, fair damsel! I am Sir Solaire! You may however, call me Sol!

He lowers his head, and kisses her hand... Great.

"Well, that's erh.... Rather nice."

Qui-

Anyways! Well, you want me to sleep with you, right?

"Well, yes. If only for a night."

Actions

>Well, a night is fine by me.
>Don't worry if you feel a little lonely, I'll try to hang out with you more often!
>Aren't you friends with Chrysoula?
>Give her a kiss on the mouth... You need to one-up Solaire...
>If it makes you feel better, I missed you too...
>...If we sleep together, I think we should let Flame's wife sleep with us, if you don't have a problem with her. This is mostly just so Flames won't get any ideas...
>It can shoot lasers! It's pretty cool in my opinion...
>sorry, but I'm sleeping with my wife and daughter tonight...
>Write-In
>>
>>769179
>Give her a kiss on the mouth... You need to one-up Solaire...
>Well, a night is fine by me.
>You should try and meet Renexizia. She's.... interesting.
>>
>>769196
This
>>
You give her a kiss on the mouth, and make out for a few minutes. It's rather nice, though you do nearly cut your mouth on her fangs a little bit.

"Well, I think a night is fine by me... But you really should try to meet Renexizia... She's very... Interesting."

"Right... Well, come on then."

You head to Frankizka's room, which is quite dark, and you get into her bed.

"So... Is there anything you want to talk about? Or do you just want to sleep?"

You yawn in response.

"Right. You dragons prefer sleeping at night."

"Well, yeah..."

She puts her hand on your chest.

"Well... Still. Even if you are tired, anything you want to talk about?"

"Like?"

"Well, I'm open to talking about anything, really."

"...Not a lot of company?"

"I don't want to hang out with your first wife... And if you'll pardon my Bretonnian... Elle est une salope!"

You don't know what the fuck she said. Your mind quickly processes, and it becomes "she's a bitch."

"Can you not say that about my wife?"

"Sorry, but that's how I feel about her..."

"Why can't the French and English just get along?"

"I'm not French, I'm Bretonnian."

"So Fantasy French."

"France is completely different from Bretonnia... Now, enough about my mean words about your wife."

Actions.

>Still, can you please not call her a bitch?
>Can you at least try to be cordial?
>So... Erh, I might of lost the war for Bretonnia. The Empire invaded. And I sort of helped them.
>Quick question... Do you consider yourself a patriot of Bretonnia?
>So... Mind if I tell you a story? How I nearly got in bed with a viking, and how I nearly got my ass kicked by her? Oh, and how I found Constaniza?
>...Well, I have only one question... Wanna tumble?
>So... How would you like it if I told you some beastmen and Skaven lived downstair? Have you met them yet?
>Nah. I'm good... Fall asleep.
>I missed you, you know...
>...Do you want to adventure with me at some time?
>...So, how does your friendship with Chrysoula go?
>...Wasn't I going to teach you Greek at somepoint?
>Well, I had rather an interesting adventure in the future...
>Well, in the future there may be many more wives... A lot more, to be specific. This dimension is loaded with them!
>Write-In
>>
>>769289
>So... How would you like it if I told you some beastmen and Skaven lived downstair? Have you met them yet?
>...So, how does your friendship with Chrysoula go?
>Wanna tumble?
>>
>>769289
>...So, how does your friendship with Chrysoula go?
>...Well, I have only one other question... Wanna tumble?
>>
>>769289
Hey doesn't frankizka still owe us some tumbles in dragon form?
We never told her we cheated did we?
>>
"So... how does your friendship with Chrysoula go?"

"Good... Better if she could actually speak a different language then Greek."

"Huh."

"You know, I sort of noticed. Around you, she tries to be kind of tough. You notice?"

"Well, certainly. First time I met her she was kind of nervous and didn't really... Well, she was kind of awkward, I think."

"Well, she tries to pretend to be tough around you. She's sort of tough, mostly because she's very big and strong... And quite shy, surprisingly enough."

"Really?"

"Well, yes. I wonder why, honestly."

"Well... She didn't really know anyone but her family when I met her."

"Huh. Well, that could explain it. It also explains why she's rather kind of clumsy in conversations. At least, attempted ones."

"Well, that's nice to know... Anyways... Don't you owe me a few tumbles? In dragon form?"

"I think it was one or two..."

"Well, why not do it right here, right now?"

"...In your dragon form? Well, I didn't feel like having bones in my legs anyways."

Roll me a 1d20+10 for tumbling quality.
>>
Rolled 15 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>769369
We're going to bone the bones out of her.
>>
15+10=25

Great Success!

By the end of it, she's practically exhausted and battered, like someone took a battering ram to her... So you curl up besides her, slightly out of breath... She returns the favor by pulling you towards her, and gives you a rather good kiss...

"Thanks for that... Really helps with the stress of having a family."

"I bet it does..."

She puts an arm around you, and you see it's early morning...

Actions.

>...Come on, why not one more?
>Why don't we talk a little?
>...So... You got any advice with Chrysoula? You know, to get in bed with her?
>...Do you think one day we'd be able to have kids? Just curious...
>...Just fall asleep now...
>I gotta get up, sorry...
>...You know, one day you and my wife will share a bed, and there won't be any arguing...
>Do you remember that tapestry maker that forcibly tumbled me? And how you didn't help me?
>Write-in
>>
>>769408
>Just give her a kiss
>Fall asleep
Does she know that as she ages more and more as a vampire she'll need more and more blood?
Or am I making things up again. I feel like Sigmar told us this
and how much longer until frankizka becomes a masochist that prefers to tumble us in dragon form?
>>
>>769408
>...Just fall asleep now...
>>
You give her a kiss, with all your three heads, And pass out on her head, still in your dragon form.

You have rather nice dreams... Until you feel something.

Hey, this is uh... Renexizious, right?

...Erh, yes? Who is this?

Hey uh, sorry man. Can't tell you. Just here to give you something. Traveled a long fucking way honestly. Do you realize how many points they docked me for being late?

Wait, wha-

Your dream turns to a rather scraggly teen in a mailman uniform. Holding somesort of... Signing paper. And next to him, is a box of some sort.

Can you sign here? Please?

First, who are you?

I uh, sorry man... I can't tell you that. His voice creeks somewhere in that... Great.

He hands you a pen.

So uh, what am I signing?

Just something saying you got this, ok?

The paper is blank, save for a signature, saying "Recipient Signs Here"

Actions.

>...Sorry, I don't sign shit from random people.
>Well... This is only a dream. Sure.
>...Are you a god or something?
>...What's the object that I'm getting?
>Write-In
>>
>>769457
>...Are you a god or something?
>...What's the object that I'm getting?
This seems so obvious that I doubt if this a trap or not.
>>
>>769457
>Wait a second is that you Hermes?
Messenger god Hermes?(that's the one right?)
>Fine whatever.
>>
Wait a minute... Is that you, Hermes?

Erh... I can't say anything. Under oath, that sort of thing.

I see... So, what am I getting?

He flips a page over.

Well... It's a... Huh. I haven't delivered one of these in ages...

What? What haven't you delivered in ages?

Shit, I can't say man. Fuck! I forgot too... Hey uh, can you look away for a second?

Wh-

The medium-sized box suddenly sprouts gift wrapping after a zap from the god.

...A present?

Yeah. So uh... Sign here, please?

You look at the paper...

So uh... Long day?

Oh yeah. I had to deliver fucking lip balm and cosmetics to a Hydra. Do you know how heavy fucking lip balm is when it's a Hydra? Not to mention I had to back to carry it's cosmetics kit, perfume, powder, lipstick, that sort of thing... Female Hydras man, they're the worst when it comes to that shit...

Actions.

>...I'm sorry?
>...Now I'm curious. What else did you deliver today?
>...Female hydra in make up? Sounds hot, honestly...
>Can you travel dimension freely?
>When was this supposed to be delivered?
>Sign the paper!
>Yeah, no. Fly away, messenger.
>Write-In
>>
>>769529
>Sure Hermes I'll sign
>Could you tell me where that Hydra is?
I'm curious.
>>
Well.. Sure. I'll sign.

Great. Just sign here.

You sign the paper, and he hands the box to you... And it's very, very heavy. You however, lift it up after some effort.

Hey uh, quick question... Could you tell me where that female Hydra is?

Sorry man, can't out customer information. But she's in a sea, I guess.

Actions.

>Thanks... So uh, see you around then.
>Open the present!
>Hey, uh... How do I get out of here?
>...Please? Come on man, a female Hydra? You gotta help.
>High five him?
>Now that I signed it, what's in here?
>Well... She's at least in my home dimension, right?
>Can you give me a name at the least?
>Write-In
>>
>>769600
>...Please? Come on man, a female Hydra? You gotta help.
>Well... She's at least in my home dimension, right?
>Open the present
It's like a mystery box!
>>
Come on man, please? It's a female Hydra. You gotta help. She's at least in my dimension, right?

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if he tells you. Additional +2 if you can give him a reason to tell you.
>>
Rolled 17 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>769629
If he tells us where she is we'll owe him one.
I'm pretty sure having us owe him a favor would be good.
>>
17+5=22

Good Success!

She's at least in my dimension, right?

...Well... Yeah... She's in the Mediterranean. Right off the coast of Malta.

Sweet, I owe you one man... So uh, what does she like?

...I can't tell you without breaking confidentiality man.

Aw... Well... Thanks.

You give him a bro-fist and he vanishes... So you open the present... And you feel something. You pull out... A motorcycle?
Cool... A Harley from what you can see... There's also a note on it.

"Sorry for missing your birthday man, hope this makes up for it.
Love and peace my man.
-Jesus Christ."

You pull out another present... This one being a little smaller. And crudely written.

"I HOPE YOUR KID FUCKING LIKES AXES YOU LITTLE SHIT. ALSO, SHE'S A NATURAL KHORNATE.
ALSO, THE EDGES ARE SHARP."
-KHORNE

Judging from the... Well, shape. It seems to be an axe. You just put that to the side... And pull out a scroll... Which proclaims you a "Official Citizen of Roma and it's Territories". There's also a stick note on it.

"Sorry kid, was the best I could afford... It's old, but I hope you like it, at least for it's historical value. Keep it up."
-???

You don't know who sent it... And that seems to be it. Huh. Wait... You feel something really fucking tiny.
You pick up another gift... Which seems to be a stick of butter, and... A pear. With a note attached.

"Sorry man, this is all I could get you for your birthday.... I uh, hope you like a stick of butter and a pear. I'll try to get you something better next time, ok?"
-Fenrir

You look at the small child-sized axe, the scroll, and the motorcycle given to you, which is adorned with... Huh. Iron Crosses... How did he know...

Actions.

>...Fuuuuck. Now you owe them shit. You need to pretend you never got this stuff.
>...You don't really want any of this stuff.... Time to either regift or return to sender...
>...Oh man, a fucking motorcycle with Iron Crosses? Sweet...
>...Remind yourself to put a nazi symbol on the motorcycle. 1488 when?
>...Well, this was cool! Man, you wish it was your birthday more often... Well, actually it wasn't...
>Return to reality!
>Write-In
>>
Going to sleep now anons.
>>
>>769710
>...Well, this was cool! Man, you wish it was your birthday more often... Well, actually it wasn't...
The axe is for Renia, right?
Also, we should find a way to repay the gods for being cool.
>>
>>769710
>...Well, this was cool! Man, you wish it was your birthday more often... Well, actually it wasn't...
Well this is nice of them.
>>769929
I think so since she somehow knew to chant for khorne despite only being a day or two old.
>>
You begin wishing it was your birthday more often, and you return to reality... With a fuckton of presents besides you. Unopened. But you can already guess what they are.

"...Frankizka?"

"Hm?" She opens one eye, and seems to be rather tired.

"I uh, just got some stuff for my birthday."

"Birthday? Oh, sorry... I don't remember you ever telling me when it was."

Actions.

>That's perfectly fine. I don't even remember when it was.
>...You still owe me a present.
>...How about a birthday tumble?
>Well, when is your birthday?
>So... No present? Look sad.
>How dare you! I would of gotten something for YOUR birthday...
>So... Want to help open presents with me?
>Write-in
>>
>>771021
>That's perfectly fine. I don't even remember when it was.
>Well, when is your birthday?
>...How about a birthday tumble?
>>
>>771021
>...You still owe me a present.
>...How about a birthday tumble?
>>
"Well, that's perfectly fine. When's your birthday anyways?"

"Well, in your calendar it's around the twelfth of October."

"I see. But you still owe me a present... Maybe a birthday tumble?"

"Let me guess, in your dragon form?"

"Well, of course."

"At this rate I'm getting internal bleeding. Thank Sigmar that it would be very hard to bleed to death."

You begin to tumble. Roll me a 1d20+10 please.
>>
Rolled 9 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>771107
Yup. She's a masochist alright.
>>
Rolled 16 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>771107
Gotta love how she just accepted this.
>>
16+10=26

Good Success

After an hour of tumbling, she finally has enough, and you think you accidentally knocked her unconscious. Her buttock is slightly bruised, but you think she'll be fine. She's tough. Hopefully. So of course, you lay down next to her, and shake her awake.

"You ok?"

"...Well, it feels like my ass has been... Oh, how to put this eloquently... Ass-blasted."

"Oh, stop your worrying. Your fine."

"Yeah. If I have a broken leg or find that my ass is forever broken, I'm holding you accountable."

You just pat her on the head.

"Oh, come on. You enjoyed it, right?"

"Well, if you didn't bite on my shoulder as much, that would be good."

"Oh, sorry."

"Anyways... I'm going to rest a little bit."

"How nice. Your probably out of breath and exhausted."

She puts her head on your chest, and before falling asleep, she says one thing.

"...How about another session tomorrow?"

She then falls asleep, her buttocks bruised and her legs surely sprained. And slight third-degree burns on her shoulder, thanks to your acidic saliva.

"Comfy." You say, and you notice your still in your dragon form.

Actions

>...Shapeshift to a different form?
>Well, she needs more of you, rather then just you human sized. Maybe grow just a little bit where she's sleeping on you, rather then the bed...
>Breathe your healing breath on her! It's minty fresh!
>Necrotic Healing? You wonder what effect that has on vampires.
>She's fine, but you have things you want to do. Get out of bed. And open your presents.
>...Fall asleep again!
>Write-In
>>
>>771161
>Breathe your healing breath on her! It's minty fresh!
>>
>>771161
>Breathe your healing breath on her! It's minty fresh!
>She's fine, but you have things you want to do. Get out of bed. And open your presents.
We never got presents before.
>>
You breathe your minty fresh breath on her, and her bruises begin to fade... She snores heavily though, and you push the presents towards you with your foot, and begin to carefully open them...
After a while, you get your presents out, such as the motorcycle with the Iron Crosses on it, the child-sized axe (Which can notably burst into fire, and in fact grows to the size of your hand... Even in your dragon form, notably enough) the stick of butter and the pear (which you eat), and finally, the scroll of official Roman citizenship.

That's pretty cool, honestly. That's when you notice a small fireplace... And that gives you a slight idea.

Actions.

>...You should take these things outside. Even if it means leaving Frankizka.
>...Wake up Frankizka. She should be fully healed now.
>Fall asleep with Frankizka's head on your chest. Comfy.
>Ask Flames or Sol if they can start a fire in the fireplace for maximum comfy.
>You want her a little closer. Ice aura?
>...Ask your head partners if there's anything they want to do.
>Write-In
>>
>>771204
>Ask Flames or Sol if they can start a fire in the fireplace for maximum comfy.
>You want her a little closer. Ice aura?
>Fall asleep with Frankizka's head on your chest. Comfy.
>>
Can one of you start the fire in the fireplace please?

Got it.

Praise the sun!

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if they stay on target.
>>
>>771204
>Ask Flames or Sol if they can start a fire in the fireplace for maximum comfy.
>Fall asleep with Frankizka's head on your chest. Comfy.
>...Ask your head partners if there's anything they want to do.
>>
Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>771218
Please don't burn the house M'Kay
>>
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>771218
>>
So anons, use barbaric?

>Yes.
>No!
>>
>>771227
Yes.
>>
>>771227
Yes
>>
Well, reroll me a 1d20 to shoot fire/lasers barbarically.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>771235
What could possibly go wrong?
>>
13

Minor Failure!

Sol's laser shot (Which is red this time) hits the wood... And fails to ignite. Flame's quick burst of fire hits it, and it ignites. So of course, you start your ice aura.. And she curls up further on you... Nice... She's practically hanging on to you.

Actions.

>...Caress her a little, and fall asleep.
>...Wake her up again!
>...Grow a little to the size of the bed. You'll be her new bed... And besides, it's more comfy...
>Shapeshift?
>...Eh, you'll use this time to talk to your heads...
>...Hey uh, Fenrir? Thanks for the present... Even if it was just butter and pear.
>Write-In
>>
>>771300
>...Hey uh, Fenrir? Thanks for the present... Even if it was just butter and pear.
>...Grow a little to the size of the bed. You'll be her new bed... And besides, it's more comfy...
>Fall asleep.
>>
>>771300
>>...Eh, you'll use this time to talk to your heads...

I'm kind of surprised we haven't given Franzizka a dragon mutagen yet. I guess being with a human sized vampire masochist is just too cozy.
>>
Hey uh, Fenrir? Thanks for the present. Even if it was just butter and a pear.

No problem. I uh, don't have much to spend since I'm kind of in prison.

It's fine.

You begin to grow to the size of the bed... You crush it, and put blankets over Frankizka, covering her up, as she sleeps on your scaly chest. She probably thinks its a bed or something. You use your other two heads to cover her up, and you begin to fall asleep.

...I like being a bed. It's comfy.

Yeah, until someone falls in our belly button or something.

Nonsense... Actually, yes, quite so. That could be a problem...

You fall asleep...

After a few hours, you wake up again, your stomach growling... And Frankizka wakes up to this apparently.

"Re- Wow. When did you become my bed, Renexizious?"

"I thought it would be more comfy."

"Well, it's sort of hard... But thanks."

"Right, well they're scales you know..."

"Do it more often. It's comfortable... Now..."

She looks up at you.

"Thanks for spending so much time with me... And uh, why is there a motorcycle in my room?"

"Just a gift from Jesus."

"Right, so I assume you want to tumble me again?"

"You up for it?"

"Well, if you get me some wine, and promise not to be this big, sure."

Actions

>...I uh, actually wasn't going to tumble you again.
>...Why don't we talk a little?
>...Just curious... How would you like to be mutated just a little?
>Wow, you know the path's to a man's heart... I'll get you some wine then.
>Well, I guess I can shrink down a little...
>No promises on the size though, ok?
>...Fiiineee... You and your weak mortal form...
>Get up to get some wine!
>Write-In
>>
>>771362
>Wow, you know the path's to a man's heart... I'll get you some wine then.
>Well, I guess I can shrink down a little...
>Get up to get some wine!
>>
>>771362
>...I uh, actually wasn't going to tumble you again.
>...Just curious... How would you like to be mutated just a little?
>>
"Well, fine... I guess I can get you some wine and shrink down only a little... But uh, I have a quick question... How would you like to get mutated just a little bit?"

Hold it... Can I interject here with some info?

What?

Well, if we were to mutate our wife to a full-fledged dragon, as I assume you want to do... She'd need to drink a fuckton more blood... About a thousand humans per month in blood. And that's 5 liters of blood each. If we were to go with something a little more sane, such as one liter per month... That would be... A lot.

Oh.

And, remember what Sigmar said? That she'd need to drink more blood as she ages? So, unless we feel like doing a "blood tax" or giving her slaves to drink from, there's no way we could satisfy her. And if she drank from us, the bare minimum would be at least half of our blood...

[red}So it's unfeasible?

Unless you want to go into "feed people to vampire wife" territory, institute blood taxes, and that sort of thing... And we haven't even touched on if she uses magic. Which makes her thirsty faster... So there's a big problem here.

Could we shrink her down then?

Yeah, but that would require us using more money...

Actions.

>...Well, I was thinking about making her a half-dragon or a dragonblood... So hopefully we avoid that problem.
>Well, a dragon vampire sounds pretty cool, honestly...
>Blood isn't really an issue. We just give our slaves some more work to do.
>Keep in mind she doesn't like draining people entirely...
>Got it, thanks for the info Dr. Flames.
>...Quick question, do you want your wife mutated again?
>Fiineee... Let me at least get laid again...
>Write-in
>>
>>771440
>Got it, thanks for the info Dr. Flames.
>...Quick question, do you want your wife mutated again?

The only way I could see doing this and not imposing a Blood tax is to start massive charities to donate blood. Across the multiverse.
>>
>>771467
Supporting
>>
Well, got it Dr. Flames... Quick question, do you want your wife mutated again?

Erh, I think she's good. Why don't you ask her? Maybe she wants to be bigger or something?

Right, got it.

You get out of bed to get Frankizka some wine, and shapeshift to your dragonblood form, walking down the stairs. You notice that there's a... Mattress, at the bottom of the stairwell, and as you walk to the basement, you get some thousand-year old wine. This is when you sort of notice that the throne has been crushed... Your brother's throne And Renexizia is sitting on it, talking to some peasants like she's a queen or something. You sigh, and walk along.

It seems Renexizia is playing again... And you are out of bed...

Actions.

>...Maybe you should tell your brother that Renexizia is stealing his position.
>...Time to talk to Renexizia. And try to get her to stop playing inside.
>You want to get laid, go back to Frankizka.
>...Your curious if Chrysoula wants to get mutated again. Try to find her.
>Maybe you should talk to Elizabeth...
>You have things you want to do... Leave the palace.
>Write-In
>>
>>771511
>...Time to talk to Renexizia. And try to get her to stop playing inside.
>>
You go up to Renexizia.

"Erh, what are you doing?"

You also sort of notice she's grown a little.

"I'm a princess! I think. I'm helping Richard!"

"Did he say you could?"

"No, but I'm helping!"

Actions

>...Wait a minute, aren't you supposed to be grounded?
>...You squished his throne. That's not really "helping."
>From now on, if your going to play, play outside please...
>...And what did you exactly do?
>Hey, I got you a present. It's a child-sized axe.
>Oh, good. Keep up the good work.
>...This is going to be interesting. If only you had popcorn.
>Can you let me help you then?
>Does your mom know?
>Write-In
>>
>>771567
>Does your mom know?
>>
"Does your mom know?"

"She's sleeping! I think. I haven't seen her for an hour."

"I see"

"Soooo... What have you been doing for the past two days? I haven't seen you at all!"

Actions.

>Erh... Well, just adult things, you know?
>...Do you want me to tell your mother about what you've been doing?
>Sex, really. A lot of it. It's fun. In fact, I'm about to get more.
>Erh, I got to go now...
>Tell your mom I love her, ok?
>Write-In
>>
>>771567
>...Do you want me to tell your mother about what you've been doing?
>Try not to break anything while we're here okay?
>Tell your mom I love her, ok?
>>
>>771715
This
>>
"Do you want me to tell your mother about what you've been doing?"

"What's wrong with helping people?"

"Just... Can you not break anything while we're here?"

"But it's fun!"

"Please?"

"But it's fuuuunnnn..." She looks at you sadly.

Roll me a 1d20-3 to see if you can get her to stop breaking things at least while your here. Additional +3 if you can bribe, threaten, or otherwise convince her to stop.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>771744
If you don't stop you aren't getting dinner. And you certainly aren't getting any butter.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>771744
It makes mommy mad when you're breaking stuff.
>>
13

Failure1

"It makes your mom mad when you break stuff, and if you don't stop you aren't getting dinner... And you certainly aren't getting any butter."

"I can get dinner myself then! Ha!"

"...Can you stop it for your mom's sake?"

"She only gets that angry if I break her stuff... I'll be fine!"

"Seriously, breaking stuff isn't cool..."

"Says who? It's cool! And there's nothing else to doooo." She leans back against the crushed throne, crumpling it further.

Actions

>...I'll see you when you get grounded again.
>Well, I'll hide dinner from you then. How do you like it now?
>If you stop, I won't lecture you on how you aren't acting up to my expectations as a dragon.
>Fine then... If you need me, I'll be in Frankizka's room.
>...Bribe her?
>Nothing to do eh? Well, I think I can get you something to do.
>...Stop right this instant, or I'll tell your mom.
>Write-In
>>
>>771804
>If you promise not to break anything I'll take you on an adventure later. Promise.
>>
If you promise not to break anything I'll take you on an adventure later. I promise..."

She looks very tempted..

Roll me a 1d20+3, additional +2 if you can glorify the adventure.
>>
Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>771820
If you behave good then I might have a secret present for you
>>
5+5=10

Failure!

"No, this is fun! Besides, no one minds besides you, and your mean..."

You feel frustrated, and let out a sigh.

"I'm just saying that your mom will get angry, and it's probably best you stop."

"You worry too much, and your just jealous of me having so much fun!"

Frustrated, you shake your head and head to Frankizka's room, as you hear her continue to "rule".
You open the door to Frankizka's room, and hand her a bottle of wine, which she drinks from.

"Want some?"

"Gladly."

You take the bottle and drink down some of the wine, and you must admit, it tastes great. You hand it back to her.

"You look frustrated. Mind if I ask why?"

Actions.

>...My daughter refuses to stop breaking stuff. It annoys me, let me just say.
>...Just average parental issues.
>...I think my tumbling will explain. Wanna do it now?
>There might be yelling from my wife later. Just saying.
>Can we just talk a little? My daughter kind of put me out of the mood...
>...Is it wrong to love your daughter, but at the same time be annoyed by her and her destruction?
>Write-In
>>
>>771887
>My daughter doesn't understand that there's a time and place for rampant destruction.
>>
"Well, my daughter doesn't understand there's a time and place for rampant destruction."

"I see. Breaking stuff on purpose?"

"Well, yeah. I love her... Though she doesn't really like me."

"Why?"

"Well, she thinks I'm mean to people, that sort of thing. She doesn't like me too much."

"Well, I'm sorry. She'll warm up to you somehow." She rubs your shoulder.

"Thanks..."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I highly doubt I could bear children."

"Wh- Oh, right. Your dead."

"Undead, technically."

"Well, for being undead, you are extremely beautiful."

"Well, thank you very much..."

"No problem."

Actions.

>Let's start tumbling...
>...You know, I'm not really in the mood right now, sorry...
>Just a question, are you thirsty for blood at all?
>So, remember how I asked you earlier if you wanted to get mutated? I don't think you answered that.
>...I wish my daughter was a little more like me... Just saying.
>Am I good father? I'm curious.
>...That doesn't make me feel better, actually. I wish you could have children...
>...Honestly, I wish I had less children. They're hard to take care of.
>Hey uh... I have a question... Could you infect other people with vampirism? I just want to know.
>...Did you infect Julius with vampirism? I'm curious.
>...Is there any way you could dominate my daughter so she stops destroying my palaces?
>Write-In
>>
>>771943
>Am I good father? I'm curious.
>Let's start tumbling...
>>
"Hey uh... Am I good father? I'm curious?"

'How would I know, Ren?"

"...Good point. Come on, let's start tumbling..."

Roll me a 1d20+10 to tumble once again...
>>
Rolled 19 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>771970
Rollan
>>
>>772009
CRUSHED
PELVIS
>>
19+10=29

Amazing Success!

By the end of the sex, she is completely exhausted. Nearing unconsciousness...

"R-ren?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stop? I can't feel my legs..."

You stop tumbling.. And see you've broken one of her legs from your tumbling. It luckily, just looks out of place. So you snap it back into position, and she moans something in pleasure. Yep, you turned her into a masochist.

"Well, I think that's a little for one night..."

"Yeah... Did you break my leg?"

"It's fixed." You say, as you cast Necrotic Healing on it.

"Great... Well... Why don't you leave? I'm sort of tired of having my leg dislocated, broken, or looking like a victim of domestic abuse."

"Oh, sorry."

"Right... Thanks for the tumbling though... I loved it."
She passes out at that... However, you are still "in the mood", and still in the middle of tumbling her... And of course, your starving. You haven't eaten anything for a day (and a half!)

Actions.

>...Well, you've dallied enough with Frankizka... You should get going.
>...Who said YOUR done? Continue tumbling.
>Eh, you'll wait for her to wake up again.You still have a lot of love to give...
>Just try your best to fall asleep again...
>You have got to eat something... Get out of bed and find food.
>...You wonder if Elizabeth is asleep. You should pay a visit to her next.
>...Flames, I still feel some lust... And since Renexizia's sleeping with my wife... Do you care if I visited your wife?
>You haven't spoken too much to Constaniza since you got back... Visit her.
>You need to do something productive rather then tumble. Leave the palace!
>Write-In
>>
>>772019
She'll enjoy it.
Like she enjoyed the third degree burns.
>>
>>772059
>Frankizka is now a confirmed masochist.
Today was a good day.
>You have got to eat something... Get out of bed and find food.
>>
>>772059
>You haven't spoken too much to Constaniza since you got back... Visit her.


>We're better at crushing undead pussy then raising a daughter
I think I know why Ren's mom didn't watch him growing up. She herself was a PC in some other quest
>>
Your stomach unleashes a growl like a lion, so you head downstairs, and find food.
By "find food" you gorge yourself on anything you can find. After a little bit, you feel semi-full, and go off to visit Constaniza...
Before you knock on the door, you notice you are... Nude. So you tear off a piece of rug, making a crude loincloth. Like a barbarian. You knock on the door... And Constaniza answers.

"Oh, I thought you- Wow, you have a lot of scars."

You look down at your scaly chest, full of scars, Khornate symbols, and more scars.

"Yeah... It's something you get when your a Khornate."

"Yeah... Can I poke one?"

"Sure."

She pokes a bite mark (from which, you don't remember), and you laugh a little. It tickles!

"So, what do you need?"

Actions

>...I'm uh, sorta here to say hi... Can I come in?
>Wanna tumble? I thought about you quite a bit...
>I came in to say hi, and that I'm staying a lot longer then intended...
>...Need any help with your feathers?
>I need some help... Slaanesh is kinda watching me and probably jacking off to me or something. I need your help.
>Have you ever tumbled before?
>...I'm curious... Do you have any food?
>So... Want to come with me to get Raghilda here? I mean, she was pretty hot for a Khornate Viking...
>Can you give me some tattoos or body paint? Just curious.
>Write-In
>>
>>772126
>Have you ever tumbled before?
>...Need any help with your feathers?
>I came in to say hi, and that I'm staying a lot longer then intended... because my kid hatched recently.
>>
>>772126
>...I'm uh, sorta here to say hi... Can I come in?
>Wanna tumble? I thought about you quite a bit...
>...Need any help with your feathers?
>>
"So, I came in to say hi... And that I'm staying a lot longer then intended. Mostly because my kid hatched recently... Just a quick question though... Have you ever tumbled before?"

"No?"

"Oh... Well then... Could I help you with your feathers?"

"I already took care of it, sorry... I uh, didn't think you'd come down to see me."

"Well... Want to tumble? I thought about you quite a bit."

She looks... Sort of weirded out by this.

"No?"

"Seriously? Why?"

"I erh... I don't want to?"

"That's not a very good reason."

"I don't really want any sex, ok? Sorry... But I'm not going to tumble you."

"Seriously? I though we were a couple..."

"I mean... Erh..." She clammers up a little bit...

Actions

>...Come on, I'm begging you...
>Fine then. I'll go find another girl who loves me and wants me inside her...
>...Don't think I gave you an option here, Consaniza.
>Ok. Just wanted to know.
>Can I at least sleep with you?
>Shit, you weirded her out... Claim you drank a lot or something...
>Come on, we're a couple, so we gotta tumble together.
>This is why I have other wives, you know...
>Write-in
>>
>>772186
>Come on, we're a couple, so we gotta tumble together.
Seduce her
>>
>>772186
>Come on, we're a couple, so we gotta tumble together.
Pressure her more.
>>
"Come on, we're a couple. So We've got to tumble together."

"I thought I already said I didn't have an interest?"

"Seriously? Stanza, come on..."

"Ren, I never wanted sex from you in the first place... By the Gods, I never even wanted anything romantic..." She says.

"Yeah, well... You accepted. Why?"

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings, ok? Now your just being really weird to me..."

Actions.

>...We're just friends with benefits, ok?
>Try to seduce her more!
>Listen, I haven't been spending a lot of time with you, so that changes...
>Please... I have no one else to go to besides a fucking cow...
>So you just gave me a chance and now you aren't even trying to further this relationship... That's a bit of a bitch move...
>Drop the loincloth.
>I'm being weird because you accepted, ok?
>...Come on... I love your company.
>So you just want to be friends?
>Step inside a little bit more.
>Write-In
>>
>>772240
>Try to seduce her more!
>>
>>772240
>Lust pheromones.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7 (Additional +2 from Lust Pheromones) to seduce her further! Additional +2 for compliments and seductive actions.
>>
Rolled 1 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>772263
Rolling for seduction
>>
>>772284
Does this mean she's gonna have a stroke like Claw did?
>>
Rolled 5 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>772263
The colors of your feathers are exquisite. They're as beautiful a double rainbow.

PS I'm assuming that her wings/feathers are a combination of colors. I don't really know anything this character.
>>
Critical Failure!

You activate your lust pheromones...

"Well, your blue feathers are exquisite... They're beautiful, honestly..."

You notice her face turns from neutrality to... Well, slightly saddened.

"...Can you go away, please? I just... Now I just want to be alone..."

"Come on, I can make you feel better..."

"I-It's alright... I just need to think..." She closes the door.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah... Just go away..."

It seems you turned her sad from your pheromones. Great.

Actions

>...Come on, let me inside. I can help you.
>...Fine then... I'll just find someone else who'll appericate my tumbling skills.
>She didn't lock the door... Open it.
>...More lust pheromones?
>Just leave... You don't want to deal with emotions, you just want some tumbling...
>Seriously? Your sad because I mentioned feathers?
>Write-In
>>
>>772335
>Seriously? Your sad because I mentioned feathers? What's the problem?
Obviously she has some feather related saddening back story
>>
>>772335
>Seriously? Your sad because I mentioned feathers?
>>
"Seriously? Your sad because I mentioned feathers? What's the problem?"

"I just want to be alone right now... Go away please... I just feel sad... I don't know why."

It seems she's just not in the mood. Probably because of your pheromones...

Actions

>That's it, I'm coming in. If your sad, I can't let you be sad alone.
>Some tumbling will cheer you up!
>...There's only one way to do this... Ask if she wants alcohol.
>If it makes you feel better, your feathers are beautiful! You should uh... Grow them out some time?
>Just leave, you aren't getting anywhere.
>Write-In
>>
>>772379
>That's it, I'm coming in. If your sad, I can't let you be sad alone.
We can leverage this
>>
"That's it, I'm coming in. If your sad, I can't let you be sad alone."

You open the door, and go inside. You see Constaniza resting on her bed.

"I thought I told you I wanted to be alone?"

"Come on, move aside. I'm going to try and make you feel better."

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if she wants you around or just wants you to go. Additional +2 if you can come up with a way to make her feel better.
>>
>>772379
>If it makes you feel better, your feathers are beautiful! You should uh... Grow them out some time?
Let's release some happy/lust pheromones
>>
Rolled 9 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>772425
Actual lust pheromones
>>
Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>772425
C'mon if your feathers make you feel upset you can talk to me about it.
>>
9+1=10

Failure!

You release more pheromones... Which only makes her sadder. It seems that for her at least, lust pheromones don't make her lustful, but rather sad...

:Come on, if your feathers make you feel upset, you can talk to me about it..."

"Just get out... I don't want you or anyone else here..."

"Please?"

"I want to be alone... Just get out of here."

She seems upset now, for no particular reason.

"Do your feathers make you upset?"

"Stop talking about my feathers, and no... Just get out, can't you understand that?"

"Well... At least tell me why your sad..."

"I don't know why!I I just... I just feel... Depressed, I guess."

I;d take the hint honestly, we're just being creepy and not taking no for an answer now.

Actions.

>Great, you made her depressed and now she doesn't want you around. Leave
>Get into the bed and lay next to her.
>I just want to tumble, and once we do, I'll be gone, ok?
>Women are weird...
>Listen, if you have anything sad... Just say it to me. I'm your friend.
>More lust pheromones?
>Write-In
>>
>>772485
>Great, you made her depressed and now she doesn't want you around. Leave
I don't think trying to tumble costaniza is smart.
She's proone of the people we can't normally
>>
>>772485
Release drowsiness pheromones and leave. This never happened.
>>
"Well, alright I guess... I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

"Thank you..."

You close the door and leave... You still feel in the mood, but less then earlier...

Actions.

>...Go to bed... Your kinda disappointed.
>No! You have to think... Who else can you tumble?
>Go back to Frankizka's room... Maybe you can get her to tumble you later...
>Chrysoula... You haven't asked her yet, and there's no children around her!
>Elizabeth. She has Renexizia sleeping with her though...
>...This is just giving you a new goal. Since no one else feels like sleeping with you, you need to find another wife or girlfriend...
>Try to get your lustful thoughts out of your head. Your trying to conquer this world, and sex isn't really helping.
>Write-in
>Write-in
>>
>>772554
>Try to get your lustful thoughts out of your head. Your trying to conquer this world, and sex isn't really helping.
>>
You begin to shake your lustful thoughts out your head... It is early morning however...

Actions.

>You should go to sleep normally.
>...You should start a foundation on where you'll conquer first... Find a map.
>You should pay a visit back home. You've spent a while away...
>You should visit your refinery. See how it's doing, that sort of thing.
>...Didn't Karl Franz give you an estate in Ostland? You should visit it.
>You know, your sort of curious on what happened to Raghilda. Visit her?
>...You know, there is a female Dragon southward. Try to find her.
>Eh, you feel like visiting a city. How about Altdorf? Besides, you need to get some Bloodbowl tickets so you can seduce that damsel Daemon Princess... And hang out with Khorne, Richard, and the guys.
>...You should say hi to Richard. And see if he's pissed off or not at your daughter.
>Write-In
>>
>>772614
>...You should start a foundation on where you'll conquer first... Find a map.
Would there be a way to tone down or hide the chaos influence we have by doing something like go to sigmar or something? I'm pretty sure the Lizard people of Lustria hate anything Chaos and they seem like a good place to get control of.
>>
File: Warhammer_olde_world_map.jpg (1.03 MB, 1434x975)
1.03 MB
1.03 MB JPG
You decide to CONQUER.

>>772641
Ask Khorne.

You get out a map of the world from upstairs... It's a little dated, but it could prove to be in your advantage...

How are you going to do this?
>You don't want to get a lot of attention on your first conquest... You should try to look like an ambitious warlord.
>People will know of your power as a dragon! This will typically alert people to the fact a dragon is roaming around, conquering stuff.

>You should strike at Tilea. It is technologically superior, and economically wealthy...
>The Badlands? There's some dwarven and Orkish tribes there.
>The Dark Lands... You have no idea what's there though.
>Estalia? Basically, Fantasy Spain? You must admit, you love Spanish women...
>Norsca. You already have a lover up there that can provide support, and there's the odd Dwarven Karak.
>The Dwarven Karaks by the Empire. Of course, you'll have to deal with the High King, and Dwarves despise dragons...
>The Empire. Might as well knock out a big one.
>...Albion? That could be quite useful to invade...
>Araby. Somewhat secluded, and no one gives too much of a shit.
>The Ogre Kingdoms... Tough bastards no doubt, but powerful if conquered.
>...The Chaos Wastes. You can build up a mighty Chaos Warband with the help of Khorne, no doubt.
>Cathay? You never went to China before, honestly.
>Nippon! Japan?! Yes! Maybe you can get a katana there...
>Ooooh, Head westward to the New World. Dark Elves and Lizardmen... Easy enough, right?
>The land of the dead... Your curious on what that actually is.
>Ulthuan. Knock out the biggest opponent to your power...
>Kislev? What's that? Sounds cool enough to invade, you suppose.
>...Maybe you should pay a visit to the Dragon Isles. Sounds easy enough...
>There's the Vampire Counts west of the Empire. No one will mind if Sylvanna got a beating...
>...Skavenblight. Skaven are weak, evil, and ugly creatures... And easy to conquer, you hope.
>Write-In
>>
>>772723
>Ooooh, Head westward to the New World. Dark Elves and Lizardmen... Easy enough, right?

I think we should stay away from Cathay and Nippon since there's almost no lore.
>>
I fucking suck at the lore for the New World, so expect me to fuck up a little.

You decide to fly for the new world...

Huzzah! Truly, God wills it!

Should we take anyone?

I fucking hate jungles... It's way too hot...

That's a uh... Good point actually. Ren, just saying we might actually be in a disadvantage. Your breath might not work, and we don't really react to heat well.

Hm...

...So uh... Can we go somewhere nicer? Also, so we can bring Chrysoula with us and so she won't sweat to death?

Oh, right. I said she could come with us on our next adventure.

Actions

>...Can she wait just ONE more adventure? Please?
>She won't be doing much then... I plan on flying around, and she'd basically be dead weight.
>...Do any of you think the lizardmen and dark elves have hot females?
>Let's take some people with us...
>We're going solo.
>Fiiineee... Your wife can come.
>...Fine, Horny can come. But only if you let me make jokes about cows.
>I was hoping Renexizia could come...
>...Wait, if this is a jungle. We should pack rations, actually...
>...Do you think Sir Waldemar would want to come with us? He's pretty cool, honestly.
>Write-In
>>
>>772850
>Fiiineee... Your wife can come.
>I was hoping Renexizia could come...

Sadly there are no female lizardmen. Such a unforeseen shame.
>>
>>772850
>Fiiineee... Your wife can come.
>I was hoping Renexizia could come...
>>772886
We can get a cute lizard waifu somewhere else.
>>
Fine... Your wife can come. I kinda hope Renexizia will come...

I don't think conquering "adorable scaly people!" will make her like us any better.

Such a child should be kept away from warfare and OUR damsels! Thy may never knowth if one is a lesbian or not, and intends to steal our damsels!

...Not to burst your bubble, but they don't have females.

Then by God, what are we doing there?

Actions

>...I see Flames lust was passed onto Sir Solaire.
>Come on, there'll be a damsel with us. Flames wife.
>This is truly a fate worse then death.
>Can I bring one of MY wives? You know, a wife which we can have sex with rather then get fur in Adolf?
>Renexizia needs to learn how to conquer, without all this... Adorable bullshit.
>Come on, she's four days old. She barely knows me, and she only has two weeks until she is a teen...
>...Don't worry Solaire, we can find an adorable lizard somewhere else. Ever heard of a kobold before? Truly, adorable.
>If there's no females there besides Chrysoula, we may have to resort to... Dire answers. Such as... Trying to seduce her. Ughgh...
>Don't worry, I bet there's some cute Dark Elves without STDs there.
>Write-In
>>
>>772931
>...I see Flames lust was passed onto Sir Solaire.
>...Don't worry Solaire, we can find an adorable lizard somewhere else. Ever heard of a kobold before? Truly, adorable.
>Write-In
"Anyhow, we are going there to unite their peoples under our rule. To bring them into a more modern, proper and productive society to then be used, as a stepping stone to taking control of this world. Bringing realistic peace and prosperity to them."
>>
>>772931
>Renexizia needs to learn how to conquer, without all this... Adorable bullshit.
>Come on, there'll be a damsel with us. Flames wife.

I know what to do. We'll MAKE female lizard people in warhammer fantasy. Analyze and learn how their birthing pits work and we'll a Draconic kingdom there with lizardwomen. It'll have blackjack and hookers and everything.
>>
I see Flame's lust was passed onto Solaire.

Great, now we're all sexually-addicted freaks. Except for Fenrir.

If you can believe it, I virtually have no knowledge about what the fuck sex is. But thanks, Flames.

You know it!

But don't worry Solaire, we can find an adorable lizard somewhere else. Ever heard of a kobold before? Truly, adorable small lizard people...

Yeah, they're mostly adorable and small. And have a bit of a roman-streak.

Roman streak?

Well, yeah. Think Romans, but adorable, small, underground, and probably get a guilty pleasure out of rubbing their adorable noses. Seriously, they're innocent as fuck. Save for their really militaristic, and... I think capitalistic anarchy. I think...

Enough about kobolds... Besides, there'll be a damsel with us. Flame's wife.

I doth protest at sharing another man's wife.

Yeah, well I don't. Now, Renexizia needs to learn how to conquer without all her... Adorable bullshit, ok?

Flames bursts into laughing.

Yeah, and how do you assume we'll do that?

Actions

>Wow, thanks for the confidence boost.
>Come on, dragons don't need slaves... It's just fun, right?
>...We have to appeal to her sense of innocence. Or something.
>...That's easy. We tell her there are dinosaurs there.
>Fuck, I don't know. I'll think of something.
>...Honestly, I just want to apply Muslek to a fucking dinosaur and see what happens.
>Write-In
>>
>>773021
>...That's easy. We tell her there are dinosaurs there.
>I also just want to apply Muslek to a fucking dinosaur and see what happens.
>>
Well... That's easy. There's dinosaurs there. And I fucking want to apply Muslek to a fucking dinosaur and see what happens.

I'm scared... What if it goes terribly wrong or something?

It's fucking dinosaurs. Come on, let's get them.

You return to reality... Who will you get first?

Actions.

>...Get it over with, get Flames Wife.
>...Renexizia? Go to her first.
>...You should spend time with Richard. He is your brother after all...
>...Maybe Liz will want to come with you.
>You need to make sure Frankizka remains masochistic. Take her along.
>Wait for Constaniza to wake up... She still hasn't accepted your love. Yet.
>Write-In
>>
>>773067
>...Get it over with, get Flames Wife.
>>
You go to Chrysoula's room, and knock on the door. You hear snoring inside, and notice the door is unlocked.

Actions.

>...Flames, do you want to do this? This is your wife after all.
>...Open the door and go inside, quietly.
>...Jump into her bed?
>...This is easy. Get one of her slaves to wake her up.
>Go inside, and begin poking her.
>...Get the motorcycle, and bring it down here. Then turn it on... And make it as loud as possible.
>...Well, who says you can't have any fun? Maybe minotaurs are ticklish.
>Write-In
>>
>>773112
>...Flames, do you want to do this? This is your wife after all.
>>
>>773112
>...Well, who says you can't have any fun? Maybe minotaurs are ticklish.
I'm getting redirect ads on mobile. It's an abstract kind of hell.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

I'm so sorry. Fucking redirects suck, especially on mobile.
Then again, your IOS sucks, doesn't it?

Rolling.

1=Flames, do it!
2=...Tickle!
>>
Flames, why don't you do it?

Can't be assed to wake her up yourself? Well, alright then.

Flames shakes her awake, and asks if she wants to come with you on an adventure. She agrees, and gets up... And goes outside.

Well, there we go... Hey uh... Can I wake up Renexizia?

Really?

Come on, she loves me...

Actions

>...Fine, I guess.
>Hell no. You aren't her father.
>How would you like it if I stole your wife? Because I feel like your trying to steal my kid.
>...I guess...
>Just let her think your me, ok?
>Less work for me then...
>Write-In
>>
>>773195
>Hell no. You aren't her father.
>>
>>773195
>...Fine, I guess.
>>
Going to wait ten more minutes.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Hell no!
2=Fine...
>>
"Well... Fine, I guess."

Thanks Ren! I owe you one!

He goes upstairs to Elizabeth's room, and shakes Renexizia awake.

Hey, Renexizia?

"Huh?"

"It's me, Flames. Wanna go on an adventure with me and your dad?"

"Sure!"

"Great... Just come with me."

He holds her by the hand, and guides her outside... She gives him a hug, and lets go.

Actions

>...How come she likes you more then me...
>Grh... Can you put in a good word?
>I want my body back, now.
>Give him a few minutes to talk with her...
>Can you tell her to stop breaking stuff please?
>Tell her this is the last time she'll see you.
>Write-In
>>
>>773306
>Give him a few minutes to talk with her...
>Can you tell her to stop breaking stuff please?
>>
Can you tell her to stop breaking stuff? Please?

Fine...

"Hey uh... Renexizia? You know that your dad and mom get angry about you breaking stuff, right?"

"Well, yeah..."

"Could you stop?"

"No... It's too much fun. Sorry dad..."

He rubs her on the head.

"Come on... Please?"

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if he can get through to her.
>>
Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>773327
We should probably leave a note for Elizabeth saying we're leaving for a bit with Reny and Chrysoula.
>>
16+6=22

Success!

"Well... Ok..."

Overjoyed, Flames picks her up, giving her a great big hug and a kiss on her cheek!

"Great! Now... Why don't I introduce you to my lovely wife, Chrysoula? After this, I'll take you out for ice crea- I mean... Well... There isn't any ice cream in this dimension, is there... Well... How about some Swedish Fried Chicken?"

"Sounds tasty! What's that?"

"Well... I'll show you. Let me just introduce you to Chrysoula, ok?

Roll me a 1d20+6 for how well they get along!
>>
Rolled 19 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>773382
>>
19+6=25

Amazing Success!

"Hi! I'm Renexizia!"

"Oh, hi. I'm Chrysoula." The two of them shake eachother's hands, and seem to understand each other.

"You seem like a nice lady. Your huge though!"

"Thanks for noticing... I uh, see your a daughter of Ren?"

"Yeah... He's kinda mean though."

"Well, you'll be adventuring with us! It'll be fun... There'll be dinosaurs..."

"Dinosaurs?!" Her face lights up at that.

"Dinosaurs? Aren't they extinct?"

"Lizard people... And dark elves! It'll be fun!"

"Yay!"

"Well... This will be interesting."

"It sure will."

"So uh... Chrysoula?"

'Yes?"

"Your Flame's wife, right?"

"Yes, I am. I suppose he told you that?"

"Yeah... So uh... That makes you a wife of my dad, right?"

"Honestly, child... I'm as confused as you are."

"...Does that make you my second mom then?"

She answers by patting her on the head.

"I erh... I don't think so."

"Come on, let's go find some chickens!"

Actions

>...Just wait until they start flying. Then you'll take control.
>Can I have my body back now?
>She better not think Chrysoula is her second mom...
>...This is going to end so fucking well...
>How come she likes you more then me?
>Write-In
>>
>>773438
>Can I have my body back now?
>She better not think Chrysoula is her second mom...
>>
Can I have my body back now? And she better not think of Chrysoula as a second mom.

What's wrong with that?

Just give me my body back...

Fine... Can you at least fry some chickens for her? I said I would.

Actions.

>Fine, I will.
>We're wasting too much time, we need to get going.
>...If she thinks Chrysoula is her second mom, I will exact revenge upon you.
>...Swedish Fried Chicken? She hasn't even eaten a person yet. She needs someone nutritional... And she needs to grow up!
>Thanks for getting her to stop destroying stuff...
>Write-In
>>
>>773483
>Fine, I will.
>Thanks for getting her to stop destroying stuff... I just don't want her viewing someone who isn't her mother as such
>We should get going now.
>>
Well, fine. I will. And thanks for getting her to stop destroying stuff... I just don't want her viewing someone who isn't her mother as such.

I think it's kind of cute, but alright, I guess.

Yeah... We should get going now.

After a little while of barbecuing chickens, you fly off to Lustria...

Where will you go first?

>Head northward, towards the Dark Elves!
>Southward, towards the Lizardmen!
>Westward, towards the few Imperial Colonies!
>>
>>773535
>Southward, towards the Lizardmen!
Sorry. I was doing something.
>>
You start flying southwards, towards the lizardmen...

This of course, takes a few hours. Roll me a 1d20 to see if anything happens during this time.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>773638
>>
16

Success!

You notice an abandoned galley shipwrecked on the coast. It seems very old... And bears the flags of Araby. You assume there could possibly be loot...

Actions

>No harm in looking! Fly down there!
>Continue on, you have world conquest to do!
>...Set the galley on fire!
>Write-In
>>
>>773745
>No harm in looking! Fly down there!
>>
You fly down there, and land besides the galley. Renexizia and Chrysoula get off..

And that's where I'm ending tonight. Check back tommorow anons.
>>
>>773768
Good night
>>
Since I just woke up, I'm giving a small update.

You land beside the abandoned galley, and shift down... Of course, you enter a massive hole, into what seems to be a slave's rowing hall... There are obvious signs of battle, and a few skeletons dot the hallway, still in their rowing benches... Spooked, Renexizia gets a little closer to you, and your small party heads upstairs to find... Well, something.

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you find anything.
>>
Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>774645
>to find... Well, something.
Ghost waifu?
>>
I'm not even shitting you, but at this point Ren's lust is a fucking inside joke among my Dark Heresy group. Whenever we fucking find a female, it literally devolves into banter because we ask ourselves what Renexizious would do.
So thank you anons, for providing my Dark Heresy group with so much banter. And ensuring girls will never join. And we'll remain nerd virgins forever, dying in the EMPRAH's name. All thanks to you, anons.

13+3=16
>>
>>774740
Wow, copy and paste got rid of my fucking text.
Thanks copy and paste, I'll use you a lot more in the future!
(not)

You find a fancy blue amulet, which you of course, put on... Which gives you a slight blue glow around you. Cool!
You don't really know what it does, but you do feel a little more protected...

Actions

>Ask Chrysoula to punch you!
>Eh... You'll just pocket it...
>Continue to wear it!
>Eat it?
>Give it to Renexizia!
>Give it to Chrysoula!
>Write-In
>>
>>774745
>Ask Chrysoula to punch you!
>Eh... You'll just pocket it...
>>
"Chrysoula, punch me!"

"What?"

"Come on, do it!"

"...Why?"

"Well, notice the blue aura? I think I'm protected from physical harm."

"Erh, your sure about this?"

"Well, yeah."

She looks you in the eye.

"Your sure you want to get punched by me?" You look towards her, and notice her large muscular arms...

Actions

>Yeah! Come on, do it! I'll be fine.
>...Erh, on second thought... Why don't you just uh... Lightly punch me?
>Hold on, I want to make sure... Why don't you rub some Muslek cream on you? It'll make you stronger!
>...Renexizia, why don't YOU punch me instead?
>...This is a terrible idea. Just pocket it.
>Write-In
>>
>>774757
>...Erh, on second thought... Why don't you just uh... Lightly punch me?

What's Muslek? I keep on hearing it but a I don't know what it is,
>>
>>774762
It's a drug that anons came up with that doubles muscle size, though tends to make the user a bit more emotional and is addictive.

"Well... On second thought, why don't you lightly punch me?"

"I guess..."

She pulls back to punch.

"Wait, that's not ve-"

Roll me a 1d20+5
>>
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>774768
Got it
>>
So... That was for uh... Damage.

The fist connects with your face, and apparently overloads the amulet, causing it to explode in a small poof, while her fist sends you flying into a wooden wall, with a sickening crack... And you hear the wall behind you break...
But of course, you pass out, since you got hit with a fucking anvil to the face.

You wake up an hour later... And vomit into the grass... Your head hurts, your covered in water, and you feel fucking miserable... You also note that you have a concussion. That's fucking nice...
You groan... And also notice your jaw is slightly dislocated, and your missing a tooth or two.

"...That wasn't... That wasn't very soft..." You say...

"Huh? I think he woke up."

"Yeah...."

Chrysoula turns you over, and wipes vomit from your mouth.

"I feel like shit..."

"I thought I punched you lightly?"

"No... No you didn't."

You go soft, and feel Renexizia cover you in a blanket. You hear a constant ringing... Must be the concussion... So you try necrotic healing on yourself.

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if this helps with the pain inflicted on you.
>>
File: IMG_1377.jpg (38 KB, 601x508)
38 KB
38 KB JPG
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>774783
>me right now
>>
Permission to samefag?
>>
File: 1452869403095.jpg (1.18 MB, 3558x2668)
1.18 MB
1.18 MB JPG
>me right now

8

Great Failure!

It doesn't stop the ringing... Ugh... You puke again, avoiding the blanket...

You have been rendered medically unable thanks to a MINOTAUR PUNCH to the fucking face.

Choose a PoV!

>Chrysoula the Minotaur
>Renexizia the Destroyer of Palaces..
>You can... Still do this... Even if your... Vomiting every second... Blargh!
>>
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>774783
>>
>>774798
>Chrysoula the Minotaur
What a dickmove OP
>>
>>774809
Hey, at least you weren't punched in the dick.

You are currently Chrysoula, and you maaaay of given Renexizious a fucking knock out blow.
You are still not used to being this big and strong, and you've been trying your best to take care of him, giving him water, that sort of thing.

And that amulet of his actually saved his life. If he wasn't wearing it, it was quite possible his neck would of been broken or worse...
You shake your head though, as you clean the vomit from his mouth.

"So uh... It's pretty much just us, Chrysoula?"

"Well... Yeah... And a jungle. That's nice."

You are already quite hot from the heat. Great.

"Well, there's gotta be people who can help, right?"

Actions.

>...Well, I think we should stay and make sure Ren doesn't choke to death on his own vomit. Just saying.
>Pick up Renexizious, and haul him further into the forest!
>...Let's leave Ren here. He'll be fine.
>So uh... Just saying, sorry for knocking your dad out. I didn't really expect to be that strong.
>Come on, I'll carry you. We need to conserve energy.
>Write-In
>>
>>774819
>Pick up Renexizious, and haul him further into the forest!
>Come on, I'll carry you. We need to conserve energy
>>
You pick up Renexizious, and you grab Renexizia and put her around your head.

"Come on, I'll carry you as well..."

"Yay! Come on, let's goo...." She points her finger in a random direction...

"That way!"

You begin to go that way... Roll me a 1d20+3 to find civilization or something.
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>774832
I'm a little concerned about Chrysoula meeting lizardmen just because she's a Minotaur. There's a chance that they'll mistake her for beastman which are inherently chaos related.
>>
Allowing samefagging on this one.
>>
Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>
Rolled 17 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>774832
>>
You follow a sign of civilization... Footsteps. After a little while, you see a small... Harbor, and a pallisade. A few crude houses dot the shoreline, and you see a flag is waving... A skull and crossbones. However, the trail branches off as well... A small pool of blood and a small scale goes deeper into the forest...

Actions.

>...Follow the footsteps going deeper!
>...Pirates? Well, you could use some grog... And maybe they know how to take care of Ren?
>Fuck this, head back to the galley.
>...Renexizia, which way?
>Write-In
>>
>>774854
>...Follow the footsteps going deeper!
>>
You begin to go deeper into the forest... When you hear a bush rustle behind you...

Roll me a 1d20+4!
>>
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>774860
>>
2+4=6

Amazing Failure!

Before you can react, you feel something pounce onto your back, and Renexizia scrambles away... You turn to see that it's a black panther, which is trying to go straight for your neck!

Roll me a 1d20+7 to fight! Additional +2 for encouraging words from Renexizious! (or at least, what he can try to say)
>>
Rolled 18 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>774863
He says something along the lines "beat the shit outta it"
>>
You hear Renexizious mumble something about "beat the shit out of it" or something, as you headbutt the Black Panther off of you... You begin to get up, and it circles around you...

Actions,

>...You have horns for a reason... Charge!
>Grab something nearby to throw.
>Fists are all you need! Get close and try to punch it!
>Try to control the battlefield through controlled demolitions! Punch a nearby tree and try to collapse it to block the Panther's circling!
>Try to get Renexizia to shapeshift!
>You came prepare with a revolver! Haha... Erh... Actually, your fingers might be a little big for the normal-minotaur sized revolver...
>Rush it, and try to wrestle with it!
>Write-In
>>
>>774878
>Fists are all you need! Get close and try to punch it!
>>
You rush the black panther, raising your fists!

Roll me a 1d20+6 for damage, additional +2 for battlecries (or inspiration from Renexizious or Renexizia)
>>
Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>774888
For Hellas!
>>
Samefag my anon

Gonna get some sleep after my next update.
>>
Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>
12+6=18

Success!

"For Hellas!" You cry, and you send your fist crashing into the animal's chest...

Roll me a 1d20+6 for damage...
Getting some sleep now anons.
>>
Rolled 11 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

I'm just bitter I rolled a 20 and it turned out to be against us. I mean wtf. That's like finding treasure but it turns out to be a trap.
>>
Bumping for later anons.
>>
File: 1476338696947.jpg (47 KB, 460x464)
47 KB
47 KB JPG
Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>774900
>mfw our loot gets one punched
>mfw when there was no ghost waifu
>mfw we got BTFO
>>
Scary spooky skeletons
>>
Suicide when?

Anyways, allowing for samefagging.
>>
5+6=11

You land a punch in it's gut, knocking it slightly off balance... You take advantage of it, and prepare to slam it with your body!

Roll me a 1d20+8 for a body slam!
>>
Rolled 20 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>775514
>>
File: 1453263382189.jpg (136 KB, 1024x683)
136 KB
136 KB JPG
Critical Success!

You hold down into the panther, which squirms under you. You press it into the dirt, and Renexizia watches... However, it stops struggling...

Actions

>Transfer full force to the body slam! It'll be gory... But effective!
>Tell Renexizia not to look!
>For Ares! Grab it's head, and prepare to finish it off personally!
>You don't like hurting animals, really... Slam down into it, and try to knock it out or scare it off!
>Hold it down... Maybe Renexizia would like a pet panther or something. Besides, it's a cat...
>Write-in
>>
>>775557
>Tell Renexizia not to look!
>You don't like hurting animals, really... Slam down into it, and try to knock it out or scare it off!
>>
"Look over there!" You shout, and you slam down with half-force into the panther, injuring it heavily, and breaking one of it's paws. It growls and bites at you, but you give it a punch to the face and it runs off, injured. And luckily, it's organs unruptured.

You grab Renexizia, put her on your head, and grab Renexizious.

"Why did you tell me to look away?"

"I was... Well, I was worried about being flanked."

"Oh. What does flanked mean?"

"I'll tell you later... Now, we s-"

As you as this, four lizard-like people with blue scales hop out of the bush, holding swords... Swords which are apparently made of obisdion and has feathers in it...

The lizardman in front of you (also riding somesort of dinosaur, like a raptor) shouts something towards you, and pokes at you with a spear.

"What do they want?"

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if Renexizia can understand!
>>
Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>775590
dice don't fail me now!
>>
13+3=16

Success!

"Well... They're wondering why you don't smell for a beastman."

"...Erh, I'm female. And not a beast..."

She tells them this, and they just seem... Confused.

"...They're uh, they don't really believe you."

"Really?"

"Most beast... Women? I guess... Most just seem to stay at their tribe."

Actions

>...I am NOT a beast... I am a minotaur!
>Can you tell them not to piss off the minotaur who could punch their heads off?
>Can you tell them I come in peace?
>Try to look angered!
>Can you tell them that we need help for Renexizious?
>Flex? That's always an option!
>Ask them if they can lower their spears!
>Write-In
>>
>>775619
>Ask them if they can lower their spears!
>...I am NOT a beast... I am a minotaur!
>Can you tell them that we need help for Renexizious?
>>
"Can you ask them to lower their spears? And I am not a beast! I am a minotaur!"

Roll me a 1d20-2 to see if they'll lower their spears... Additional +2 if you can lecture them on why you aren't a beastman.
>>
Rolled 5 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>775719
>>
Rolled 10 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>775719
Well, she doesn't smell like death, blood and sweat for one thing, another would be her not being armed or the lack of chaos mutations or symbols on her.
>>
10

"And tell them I don't smell like death, blood, or sweat!"

"To be fair... You kinda do smell like sweat."

"Do not."

"Do too..."

...Doing a rather unwomanly thing, you smell under your armpits... And yes, you do smell terrible. Damned jungles...

"Well... Also, tell them I'm unarmed, and I lack chaos... Things."

You honestly don't know what this "Chaos" thing is, so you just say what you've heard in conversation.

"...But aren't you armed? You had a gun!"

"They don't need to know that!"

After she tells them... They continue to lift their spears.

"Hey uh... They're talking about "sacrificing us to the Slann" or whatever. Should we be concerned?"

Actions

>When diplomacy fails, your fists will do the talking!
>Erh... Yes? We should be.
>Your a dragon... Why don't you shapeshift.
>For the record, I DO NOT smell... It's just your sweat.
>Come on, we can do this... Just tell them what I say.
>...Can you tell them that wouldn't be a good sacrifice?
>Write-In
>>
Giving a bump.
>>
>>775774
>Erh... Yes? We should be.
>Your a dragon... Why don't you shapeshift.
>>
"Well... Yes. We should probably be concerned... So, why don't you put your dragon ancestry to use and not get us sacrificed?"

"Ok! One dragon coming right up!"

She crawls off of you, and you stand to the side...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if they interrupt her or not. Additional +2 if you can distract them, and possible auto-success if it's long! (Such as ranting about them confusing your gender and race, or just yelling about something. They can't understand you, keep in mind.)
>>
Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>775891
"So how do I look like a guy? I mean... I don't think I look like a guy and I know you haven't seen a Minotaur before, considering you've never been to Greece, or to earth for that matter. Actually that raises the question of how you speak a language similar enough that she could learn it just by hearing a few sentences. God damn dragons and their super brains, should've gotten that improved when I got a mutagen..."
>>
Rolled 20 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>775891
>>
"So, how in the hell do I look like a guy? I mean, I don't think I look like a guy, and I know none of you haven't seen a minotaur before, since you haven't been to Greece, or to Earth for that matter. Actually that raises the question of how you speak a language similiar enough that she could learn it by just hearing a few sentences... Zeus damn these dragons and their mind-bullshit, should of gotten that improved when I got that mutagen, and maybe something to adjust to the size, so I don't fucking punch people's faces off... Which is a bonus in and out of itself. By Zeus, dad would be shocked at me being this large now..."

"Hi!"

The guards seem effectively distracted, and you turn around to see Renexizia in her dragon form. Five story one, at that. She lifts you onto her head... And the lizardmen suddenly look very concerned for their lives.

Actions

>Come on Renexizia, why don't you show them what happens if you call me a man!
>So... Why don't we negotiate!
>Ha! I have a bigger dinosaur then you!
>So... Who wants to negotiate, Greek style? (As in, talk over wine).
>So... If you help my husband's friend, I promise I won't send you to Hades in a casket full of lemurs.
>Write-In
>>
>>775955
>So... If you help my husband's friend, I promise I won't send you to Hades in a casket full of lemurs.

4chan is 2spooky4me right now.
>>
I know, it's triggering me with the spooky skele in the corner.

"So... If you help my husband's friend, I promise I won't send you to Hades in a casket full of... Lemurs?"

"That's not very nice..."

"They don't need to know that you aren't going to do anything."

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if they buy your bluff somehow! Additional +3 if you can describe what an angry minotaur will do to them if they don't help!
>>
Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>775977
>>
Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>775977
>>
14+5=19

Success!

Begrudgingly, they talk to Renexizia, and let her come along...

"Oh man, they're taking me to their village... Do you think they have butter?"

"Erh... I don't know?"

"Why are we here again?"

"I have no idea, honestly..."

"Huh. Well, at least we're making new friends!"

Actions

>...I think your dad wanted to conquer this place. Not too sure on why he brought me along, honestly.
>Well, that's nice and all. Do you think they can give us a way to go back?
>Why don't you handle negotations? (Switch to Renexizia's PoV)
>Well... I guess more friends is nice...
>I'm just thankful we aren't being sacrificed...
>Write-In
>>
>>776016
>Why don't you handle negotations? (Switch to Renexizia's PoV)
I wanted Chrysoula along because she's Greek which has a warmer climate kind of like Lustria. Although in hindsight a completely lizard retinue would've been better.
>>
Did you forget she has fur and this is a jungle?

You are now Renexizia, and your going to visit the lizardmen's place!

"So... Erh... I guess that's nice." Chrysoula says to you.

"Yeah! I wonder if they have anything I can break..."

"Erh... Are you sure your dad will like it?"

"Come on, he's unconscious! He won't mind."

You eventually emerge out to a... Wow... There's huge buildings, kinda like triangles with weird statues and stuff! And lots of little short lizard people running around, and lots of jungle, and lots of trees... And lots of buildings!

Cool!

And you want to break all of it, with a child-like smile in your mind. That would be fun! And besides, triangles were meant to be broken!
Also, because you have no idea what your doing here.

Actions.

>...Ask the little lizardpeople if they have any art!
>Ask where their leader is! Your gonna be best friends with him!
>...Curiously examine one of the triangular buildings!
>Playfully mess around with the short lizard people! They're adorable!
>Ask where the dinosaurs are at!
>Ask the lizardmen who brought you here if they want to be best friends forever!
>Maybe you should see if your dad's alright. Just so in case you break something you can blame it on something else!
>...Ask if they have any food! Oh, and *loud stomach growl*
>Soooo... I'm kind of a princess! And you are little adorable lizard people... Can I be your Queen? Pleeeeeeaassee? I promise I won't break much!
>Write-In
>>
>>776056
>...Curiously examine one of the triangular buildings!
>Maybe you should see if your dad's alright. Just so in case you break something you can blame it on something else!

In my defense it was like 1 in the morning when I made that decision so I wasn't completely there.
>>
I was surprised honestly...

You look at your dad, who's recovering ... But still rather unconscious and sick... Curious, you examine a nearby triangular building, which looks like it's covered in gold and see lots of strange statues, and a staircase going to the top... The lizardmen leading you seem sort of confused that you walked away...

Actions.

>...Take a bite out of the building!
>Try to take a brick out of the building!
>Carve into the wall "RENEXIZIA WAS HERE"
>Try to draw with your claws!
>Ask the lizardmen why they build their stuff so weird!
>Go up the staircase! You wanna see the top!
>Nah, it's kinda boring. Follow the lizardmen!
>Write-In
>>
>>776079
>Ask the lizardmen why they build their stuff so weird!
Hopefully we can make Renexizia more civilized by appreciating culture and architecture.
>>
You decide to ask the lizardmen about their stuff!

Roll me a 1d20+4 to pay a attention!

Also, going away for an hour anons.
>>
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>776090
Okay
>>
Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>776090
>>
12+4=16

Minor Success!

You pay attention... Though it's kind of boring. They say that the "Slann's great plan" or whatever influences their designs and that they're positioned to honor their gods or whatever. You kind of find it boring. Who cares how to honor a god?

Actions

>...Can we get to the good bits? Like if it shoots things or does cool stuff?
>..Yeah. This is uh, interesting.
>Try to force yourself to like it!
>Why don't you construct normal houses instead of triangular buildings?
>So uh... Can we do something else? This is kinda boring.
>Watch this, this is how much your architecture sucks, and how much my architecture rules! Attack the building!
>Write-In
>>
>>776357
>..Yeah. This is uh, interesting.
This is extremely boring
>>
"Yeah... Sure. Uh... This is... Very interesting."

You say, half-hearted.

And they begin to continue talking about their airchitecture. Great.

Roll me a 1d20+3 to stay awake. Additional +2 if you can think of an excuse to stop their talking about architecture.
>>
Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>776384
Tell them we're hungry.
>>
2+5=7

Great Failure!

"Cooooomeeee oooooonn. This is BORING. Can we get something to eat?"

The lizardmen seem slightly insulted...

"How dare you question the wisdom of the Slann's construct!" One shouts.

"Come on... Can I have food? Please?"

You give a smile to them...

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if they're willing to get you food... Additional +2 if you apologize!
Or you can bypass this directly by eating one of them or a building.
>>
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>776439
Rolling
Not eating people yet
>>
Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>776439
I'm sorry. I just don't care about other stuff when I'm hungry. Go on about your people.
>>
YET

9+3=12

Failure!

Your smile fails to win them over.

"Come on, pleeeeaasseee? I'm sorry, I just don't care because I'm so hungry!"

You unleash a powerful belly growl, and one of them sighs, and gets you some food!
Yay!

After a little bit, he comes back with... Bugs. And grub? Ew! In a small bowl too!

Actions

>...Begrudingly eat that.
>Come on, I've been nice to you so far... Can you do something nice in return and give me real food?
>Ooh, insects! Throw it at something!
>I uh... I want something a lot bigger then THAT!
>Eat the food. And the lizardman... Your starving!
>Write-In
>>
>>776497
>...Begrudingly eat that.

Shame that my roll didn't count.
>>
>>776497
>...Begrudingly eat that.
>*Loud stomach growl*
Preferably in this order.
This isn't enough tribute
>>
You... Well, you hestiantly eat the bowl and grub... It tastes gross!

Roll me a 1d20+3 to stomach it. Additional +4 if you can come up with personal excuses for eating... Insects...
>>
Rolled 2 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>776537
Well we've never eaten them before.
We need to eat everything at least once.
bad people may or may not be on that list
>>
Rolled 5 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>776537
Dad won't like it.
>>
5+7=12

You justify it slightly... But it still tastes disgusting!

So you spit it out behind a bush, and look at them and beg with your eyes... And with a stomach growl.

Actions

>...Try to make the loudest stomach growl ever! They'll have to feed you!
>Just try to put hunger aside... At least try...
>Try to be adorable!
>...Your kind of curious on why your dad likes being threatening... Loom over them?
>...How does people taste?
>Your hungry enough to take a bite out of a nearby building!
>Write-In
>>
>>776598
>Try to be adorable!
>>
>>776598
>Try to be adorable!
Commence adorable whimpering(which is technically growling)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 to be adorable for more food!
Additional +3 if you can do something adorable!
>>
Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>776623
Wag our tail.
>>
Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>776623
Do something Adorable?
Bruh our very existence is adorable incarnate.
>>
Going to be back in a few hours...
>>
Rolled 14 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>776627
>>
First a small update.

14+6=20

Success!

They leave you... And get food for you!

Roll me a 1d20+3 for quality!
>>
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>776657
Something like fruits or cooked vegetables would probably be okay for her.
>>
Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>776657
Lizard Gordon Ramsay where?
>>
Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>776657
Rolling for Gordon Scaly.
>>776673
Preferably now.
>>
15+3=18

Success!

They bring back two bowls of fruits, which you eat... It's not too amazing, and your still hungry, but at the very least you have something in your stomach.

Actions.

>...Beg for MORE!
>That's good enough... Try to pay attention!
>Where's your leader?
>Whine... That's not enough!
>So... Do they have any treasure here?
>Write-In
>>
>>776683
>Where's your leader?
>So... Do they have any treasure here?
Hopefully Chrysoula doesn't break it
>>
>>776683
>Where's your leader?

That sure was a quick few hours. Not that I'm complaint though.
>>
I'm doing small updates here.
>>
"So... Where's your leader? And do you have any treasure?"

"Erh, no. Our leader is the great chief..."

They begin going into ANOTHER HISTORY LESSON...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to pay attention! Additional +2 if you can do things to keep you awake!
>>
Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>776719
Fantasize about eating the Eiffel Tower
>>
Rolled 15 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>776719
Think about dinosaurs
>>
15+6=21

Good Success!

You think about eating the Eiffel tower, and the Eiffel tower with dinosaurs... Cool....

You listen to him, and hear that the chieftan is apparently at the top of one of the one towers, and so you head there... Which is kinda an easy climb. When you get to the top, you see a short little lizard person surrounded by other short lizard people in fancy feather outfits!

Actions

>Hi! I'm Renexizia!
>Give a headpat to the chief!
>Do any of you have food?
>Can I eat one of the buildings here?
>Your clothes are cool! Can I have some of that?
>You guys are my best friends now!
>Dad... What should I do?
>Are you the chief?
>Write-in
>>
>>776780
>Hi! I'm Renexizia!
>Dad... What should I do?
>>
>>776780
>Hi! I'm Renexizia!
>Dad... What should I do?

These sound like Skinks.
>>
"Hi! I'm Renexizia!"

You lean down to your dad.

"Dad... Uh... What do I do?"

"Conquer... Them... Or something... Can I have a drink?"

Actions.

>Dad, that's not very helpful.
>Dad, come on... That's terrible advice!
>Erh... And how do I do that?
>Well... No! I'm not a monster like you!
>But whhhyyyyy? They're adorable lizard people!
>Give me a reason to!
>Write-In
>>
>>776919
>Dad, that's not very helpful.
>>
"Dad, that's not very helpful."

He shrugs his shoulders.

"I feel like an atomic bomb went off in my head... Sorry... Just uh... Try not to get us killed... Or make any loud noises..."

"Ok."

The Lizardmen begin giving you rather fancy hellos, and eventually ask why you came here!

Actions

>I uh, came here because my dad wanted me to go, and Flames is a cool dad!
>I mean, I kinda was wondering what food you guys had... No offense, but it kinda sucks.
>My dad wanted to conquer you or something... I don't know honestly. He's weird.
>Can we have more food please?
>Soooo... We need someone to take care of my dad's head. He kinda got punched.
>Write-In
>>
>>776957
>I uh, came here because my dad wanted me to go.
>He said he wanted to come here ally with you or something.
>Soooo... We need someone to take care of my dad's head. He kinda got punched.

Well shit. She see's Flames as a dad more then Ren
>>
"I came here because my dad wanted me to go. Flames, cool dad! Gave me chicken! That sort of thing. But uh, my dad kinda wanted to say hi or something, I don't really know. And he kinda got punched, so we need someone to cake care of him."

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if they're ok with healing your dad.
>>
File: IMG_1383.jpg (83 KB, 641x467)
83 KB
83 KB JPG
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>777007
Hi OP. I found this map on the Lexicanum page for Lizardmen. This map and the Lexicanum might help with getting a better grasp of stuff in this world.
>>
Allowing samefagging.
>>
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>777007
>>
12+3=15

The elders agree to house your dad and heal him, so long as you help them with something.

"What is it?"

"There is a tribe off of the coast. Came from oversea. They must be gotten rid of." He says.

"You mean the pirates? Argh? Those ones?"

"If that's what you call them, then yes."

Actions

>I bet the pirates are nicer... And have better food!
>Well... I bet I can make the two of you great friends!
>But pirates are cool!
>Try to bargain for something lower!
>Well... If I have no choice, I guess.
>Can't Chrysoula do it?
>Write-In
>>
>>777078
>Well... If I have no choice, I guess.
Time for some pirate snacks
>>
"Well... I mean, I guess..."

"Great. We will send you there."

The chief slams his staff on the floor, and you see a ball of light touch you... And you suddenly end up outside of the pirate village? In your human form?
And there seems to be a few guards, mostly talking to each other and drinking alcohol!

Actions

>Shapeshift?
>Run up to them!
>Pirates are cool! Try to use a pirate accent while your here!
>You are a sneaky ninja! Try to sneak and climb into the village!
>Run past the pirates!
>Write-in
>>
>>777102
>Shapeshift?
Dragon form.
>>
>>777120
This
>>
You grow to your dragon form, and you lower your head to the guards, who fail to notice...

"Hi!"

They turn towards you, startled.

"...So uh... I gotta ask you all a question... Can you go away? I have friends who don't want you here... But uh, just saying, pirates are cool in my book! It's nothing personal!"

"Arrrrrgghhh... This landlubber is asking us to abandon our grog!"

"Aye!"

A small dwarf pokes his head out of a nearby barrel.

"Aye! Protect the booze!"

"I'm not here for your drinks... But it does kinda sound good... I was hoping you'd all leave!"

They look at each other, and look at you. One pirate with a rather long beard and wearing an eyepatch comes towards you...

"Lass, we're mooks in case you can't tell."

"Mooks?"

"Argh. We be mooks of the finest quality!"

"What's a mook?"

"Lass, a mook is when a pirate and his paycheck is comin' short, and his captain realizes he could probably skip paying us if we're dead..."

"Oh. That doesn't sound very nice."

"But it's our duty as mooks!"

The pirates argh in agreement.

Actions.

>Aw... Please? Come on, I'm trying to be nice here.
>Your a nice pirate! You wanna be friends?
>...I'm uh, kinda hungry. Do any of you have food?
>So uh... I kinda need to be scary. Sorry. Try to roar!
>If you leave, I promise to only give you a huge big hug!
>Be adorable!
>Sooooooo... Who wants to play? I'm kinda bored.
>Grab the pirate leader?
>Write-In
>>
>>777149
>Grab the pirate leader?
>So uh... I kinda need to be scary. Sorry. Try to roar!
Throw in some frost breath too.
>>
>>777149
>So uh... I kinda need to be scary. Sorry. Try to roar!
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3 to be scary. Additional +2 if you try to do something intimidating or scary!
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>777168
Scary spooky skeletons.
>>
Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>777168
Actually roar instead of squeaking
>>
Critical Success!

"Sorry you guys, but I gotta be scary!"

You unleash a huge, guttural roar, which sounds slightly daemonic in origin, and utterly drains the color from the pirates... Even the pirate you grabbed has no color in his face.

Actions

>Sorry... But can you guys go back overseas? I don't want to hurt you at all.
>Something in your mind is sort of curious what happens if you slam the pirate against the ground. Just curious...
>...You remember licking Haroldr. What if pirates are also edible? Though it's not nice to kill things...
>Put the pirate back down!
>Soooo... Why don't you join me as pirate-ninjas?
>Ha! I knew ninjas were better then pirates!
>Write-In
>>
>>777218
>Sorry but if you guys don't leave I'm going to have to hurt you.
Let's avoid killing if we can.
For now
>>
>>777218
>Sorry... But can you guys go back overseas? I don't want to hurt you at all.
>>
"Sorry, but if you guys don't leave, I'm going to have to hurt you... Please go over seas?"

You try to look at them sadly...

Roll me a 1d20+7 to see if the mooks decide to say fuck this. Additional +2 if you can point out advantages to running.
>>
Rolled 13 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>777254
Advantage one they don't have to fight a dragon
Advantage two they don't have to fight a dragon
Advantage three they don't have to fight a dragon
Advantage four...well you get the point
>>
Rolled 18 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>777254
There's nothing but disease and murderous reptilians here.
>>
18+9=27

Great Success!

"Well... I mean, honestly why stay here? There's only really reptiles who hate you, and my dad is kinda suck. So I don't think it's hygienic... Besides, you won't have to fight me..."

They get the idea, and call it quits. However, they point out that the captain won't be so easy to sway, and they quickly steal the captain's ship to sail off. You wave a goodbye, and wish them good luck profiteering! You do hear a cry from the small town.

"My ship! What the hell are they doing, taking it for a joy ride?"

You turn behind you, and see a kinda old pirate, with a pegleg! And in a house full of cannons!

Golden cannons!
Shiny cannons...

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm just trying to be nice..."

Actions

>Can I have your shiny gold cannons? They seem valuable! And tasty!
>Boss fight! Dundun, dundun...
>Try to scare him as well!
>Try to act adorable to get him to leave as well?
>Well, your friends are now MY friends, since they left you! Ha!
>Write-In
>>
>>777282
>Try to act adorable to get him to leave as well?
Shame this tactic of acting adorable is only going to last for another week.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you can charm him! Additional +2 for adorable ways to try and hint that she should leave.
>>
Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>777304
>>
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>777304
"Hey mister what do pirates taste like? Mind if I check?"
>>
10+3=13

"Mister, can I check what pirates taste like? I'm kinda curious."

"No!"

You hear a cannon fire a shot next to you. It doesn't really do much, since it missed...

So of course, you go to the next plan in your master plan... Property damage!

Roll me a 1d20+6 to damage his property! Possible auto-success if you come up with new and creative ways to achieve maximum property damage on small housing and his house.
>>
Rolled 13 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>777342
>>
Rolled 20 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>777342
Elbow drop the house in dragon form
We luchador now.
>>
File: giphy (5).gif (4.04 MB, 356x200)
4.04 MB
4.04 MB GIF
>>777366
Adorable Wrestling Ninja Dragon.
Celebratory meme for our new title.
>>
Critical Success!

You elbow-drop the house in your dragon form, crumpling the building.... You also pocket the golden cannons admist the crumbling, and decide to have some fun belly-flopping on houses, eating a few houses, and otherwise rolling around. After a little bit, the small village is completely flattened land, and you see the pirate figure emerge, utterly confused on what the hell just happened in the span of twelve minutes of your destruction. He does however, seem to have one more cannon that he aims at you...

Actions

>Ignore him! Continue to roll around in the ruins! Weee!
>Grab him! You kinda feel like playing!
>Lower your head near him, and stick your tongue out! You won vs his shoddy excuse for a boss fight!
>Grab him, and try to fly towards the pirates ship! Your gonna be nice to him and put him on it!
>Write-In
>>
>>777386
>Go "And my name is Renexizia!"
And try to get close and elbow drop him
>>
>>777391
This
>>
You get up to him, and prepare to elbow drop him!

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can nail him in time!
>>
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>777409
We've been getting a lot of good rolls today. Feels nice man.
>>
Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>777409
>Somewhere Khorne goes"Da-na-na-na"
>>
10+4=14

Failure!

He fires his cannon in time, hitting you right in the gut, venting the oxygen from your lungs! So you take a deep breath, and try to get back to fighting him! By the time you've shaken off the cannonball, he readies another to fire at you!

HP: 4000
Current HP: 3500

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if you can dodge!
>>
Rolled 4 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>777422
good thing we aren't a brick shithouse like our dad
>>
Rolled 17 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>777422
>>
17+2=19

Success!

You dodge to the side, and his cannon shot hits the forest. He curses you, and prepares for your attack!

Roll me a 1d20+6 for grabbing him!
>>
Rolled 13 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>777438
>>
Rolled 15 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>777438
We should body slam onhim
>>
15+6=21

Good Success!

You grab him and pick him up... He tries to squirm out of your grip... This is when you sort of realize you have an important decision to make...

Actions

>Spare him, your trying your best to not kill anyone!
>B-b-body slam! It's fun... Even if it might kill him... That would suck.
>You kinda wonder how he tastes...
>Ask if he has any buried treasure!
>Your gonna be my best friend forever... Whether you like it or not!
>...Maybe your dad can come up with ideas?
>Write-In

Just as a note, any option besides sparing him or making him a friend will result in a dice roll due to her innocent nature.
>>
>>777469
>Ask if he has any buried treasure!
>Your gonna be my best friend forever... Whether you like it or not!
It's not kidnapping. It's friendship!
Hopefully he develops Stockholm syndrome
>>
>>777469
Send him back with his friends by throwing him towards the ship. That counts as sparing him right?
>>
>>777486
The heart's in the right place, but I'd suspect even Renexizia realizes throwing someone that far would hurt.
>>
"Hey! Sorry, but do you have any buried treasure?"

"Why would I tell you?"

"Because we're friends forever and forever now! Yay!"

This is when you have a realization in your mind, about friendships..

Actions

>Friends are fun! In fact, the whole world should be your friend at somepoint! (Renexizia gets an ambition to make the world her friend... Whether they want it or not.
>You know, you do a lot for your friends... Maybe they should do stuff back for you? (Starts a path down towards accepting slavery!)
>Your friends are part of your horde, which is very important to you! (Renexizia tends to "horde" friends.
>What realization? (She remains the same!)
>Write-In
>>
>>777526
>Your friends are part of your horde, which is very important to you! (Renexizia tends to "horde" friends.
Protect friends.
Horde Friends
>>
>>777526
>You know, you do a lot for your friends... Maybe they should do stuff back for you? (Starts a path down towards accepting slavery!)

Make grandmama proud
>>
You sorta realize that your friends are precious... And should help you out more often! Yay!

"We're gonna be best friends forever, and your gonna help me with work, and then we'll play, and then we'll pretend to be pirates, and then we'll read each other bedtime stories, and then we'll sleep, and then we'll wake up, and then Flames will make us breakfast and then we'll be BFFs forever!" You say, excited. And slightly rubbing up against him.

"What?"

He is utterly confused by what has just transpired.

Actions

>Try to fly back to the lizardman place?
>Well, we're best, best friends forever, and your gonna be with me until you die!
>You know, that pirate ship is kinda cool... Maybe you should make MORE friends?
>Come on, let's head back!
>Do you have buried treasure? Please please please please tell me where it is! Pleaeeeeeaaasseeee?
>Don't worry, my dad can't take you away now, since we're best friends forever!
>Thank you for cannons! I bet they look fancy and taste good!
>Write-in
>>
>>777549
>Thank you for cannons! I bet they look fancy and taste good!
>Try to fly back to the lizardman place?
>>
>>777549
>Come on, let's head back!
>Thank you for cannons! I bet they look fancy and taste good!

Personally I think we should've just disposed of him with the other pirates since this seems kind of lol randumb but okay....
>>
"Thanks for the cannons! I bet they look fancy and taste good!"

You begin to try and fly back to where you remember the lizardman's place...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if your wings have in fact, strengthened enough to where you can fly.
>>
Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>777567
The other pirates were already gone and Renexizia is very anti-kill.
And she's not exactly the most. Sensible.
>>777570
Rollan
>>
>>777572
We could've always catapulted the captain towards his ship and Ren would still be in bliss (probably).
>>
>>777578
Would he even survive that?
I'm pretty sure the drop would kill him.
>>
She is far from sensible, far.

16+5=21

Great Success!

You begin to fly back with your NEW BEST FRIEND, who you'll never let go of! NEVER!

PoV switch?

>Continue to fly back!
>Renexizious time! (Renexizious PoV)
>>
>>777581
>Renexizious time! (Renexizious PoV)
I'd like to point out that most of Rens children have excessive/eccentric/bad personalities.
>>
File: IMG_1372.jpg (90 KB, 720x479)
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>>777580
Pic related

>>777581
>Renexizious time! (Renexizious PoV)
>>
Yeah. I think Maria is the only kid who isn't excessive, eccentric, or bad,

You are currently Renexizious, and you have just woken up to a lovely sight in your face.... Hmmh... Scale and fangs.... It must be your wife Elizabeth... But wait... Weren't you hit on the head earlier?

Actions

>You missed your wife! Give her a kiss! How did she get all the way here?
>You aren't making out with something that could be possibly someone else...
>Hmhm... Fantasize about female reptilians and breast to ass proportions for just a bit longer...
>Try to shake yourself awake!
>Mumble something about seeing Chrysoula or something...
>Write-In
>>
>>777605
>Try to shake yourself awake!

We should probably start to curb weird behaviors in our kids. Unless if they're like Charlemagne. He's alright.
>>
>>777615
>Charlemagne
>Alright
Isn't he the semi-violent zealot?
Who we need to train in administrative duties?
>>777605
>Try to shake yourself awake
It's a trap Ren!
>>
>>777617
Eh... Charlemagne was one of the first of Ren's kids and he's been okay for the most part in my opinion. As for training one in the art of administration, I would say Renexizia but I don't where she's heading right now. I want to teach her to be civilized but she's looking to be another Viktor.
>>
>>777615
The zealot who has slight nazi tenancies like you anons?

If anything, I'd go with Revenaris for the most "normal" of your kids. Charlemagne wins a close second though.

You try to shake yourself awake, and see that the scales in front of you was... Somesort of blue lizard thing.

"...You aren't my wife..." You say, slightly disappointed...

"Oh, hey... Your awake!" Says Chrysoula, who gives you a slight hug, and a pat on the back.

"Please don't punch me again..."

"Huh? Oh, about that... I uh, I'm sorry about that... Kind of hard to control my strength." She seems a little nervous about this...

"Right..."

Actions

>...Do I at least get a present to make up for you punching me in the head?
>...When we find a bar, you are owing me a fuckton of drinks...
>...Well, she's kind of your wife. Give her a kiss...
>What, only a awkward hug and an apology? I kind of want more.
>It's fine, it's fine. Don't hug me so tight though.
>I missed you too.
>...Do the lizardmen have any lizardwomen?
>I'm kind of hungry...
>Where's my daughter?
>Write-In
>>
>>777632
>slight Nazi tendencies
I actually don't have any.
>...Well, she's kind of your wife. Give her a kiss...
The first step in tumbling Chrysoula
>>
>>777632
>...Well, she's kind of your wife. Give her a kiss...

Well I am somewhat of a /pol/ack and so is Charlemagne so he's one of my more liked characters.
>>
We're all /pol/acks in here.
1488 when?

You give her a kiss to the mouth... And for second she allows it, but then is extremely confused... And beneath her fur... Blushing wildly red.

"R-Ren? You alright? You aren't delirious or anything?"

Actions

>Huh? Sorry, I uh... Thought you were my wife.
>...Are you... Blushing? That's adorable...
>That's for punching me.
>What? I'm Flames, obviously.
>I'm tired... Where are we now?
>Grab her again and continue to make out!
>Compliment Horny the Minotaur!
>Come on Elizabeth... Just another kiss...
>Write-In
>>
File: 9dc.png (138 KB, 500x250)
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>>777662
>We're all /pol/acks here.
I want off this ride.

>Grab her again and continue to make out!
>>
>>777662
>That's for punching me.
>I'm tired... Where are we now?

When we continue werewolf Reich quest
>>
File: 1458707156986.jpg (26 KB, 400x400)
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Rolled 2 (1d2)

Which so happens to be the day after tomorrow!

Rolling.

1=Continue to make out!
2=That's for punching me!

>>777672
Pic related.
>>
"And that's for punching me... So, where are we now?"

"Well, we're in a lizardman village... Which hates me, and thinks I'm both male and a beastman." She turns to the lizardman medic next to you.

"Which I am NOT for your information. And certainly no beast!"

"Ah, tired of being misgendered by mysognistic lizard people?"

She punches you in the shoulder... Which stings.

"Ow, thanks."

"No problem... Now, I've mostly just been trying to make sure you don't vomit up your lungs or anything... It's uh... Sorry to say, but I could of accidentally killed you. That amulet saved your life, I think."

Actions

>Laugh, no mere mortal could of killed you!
>...This is worse then the time I drank too much... Which is all the time.
>Is there a bed nearby? I still feel rather tired...
>Well, if it makes you feel better, I like big strong beautiful women...
>Punch HER in the side! Ha!
>I'd challenge you to an arm wrestling contest on who's stronger... But I think we already know who is. Me.
>Next time, don't punch me in the head.
>...Why are all my wives scary when they get pissed off...
>Where's my daughter at?
>Write-In
>>
>>777683
Anything but being a /pol/ack
>>
>>777696
>Well, if it makes you feel better, I like big strong beautiful women...
>Where's my daughter at?
>>
File: IMG_1380.jpg (60 KB, 480x642)
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>>777696
>>Well, if it makes you feel better, I like big strong beautiful women...
>>Where's my daughter at?

>>777697
Join us
>>
File: images (3).jpg (6 KB, 188x188)
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>>777710
Outnumbered by /pol/acks
May memes protect me from their redpolls.
>>
>>777723
>>777710
But seriously plz no redpills.
I don't like Nazi's.
I don't like /pol/
>>
File: SUBVERSIVE.jpg (77 KB, 470x713)
77 KB
77 KB JPG
>>777697
All will be assimilated.

"Well... If it makes you feel better, I like big, strong beautiful women with horns... But first... Where's my daughter at?"

It seems Chrysoula's tough-girl facade is beginning to break down. Her previously tall and strong posture is becoming a little slouched.

"S-she erh... I think she was teleported to a pirate base... I don't really know though..."
Actions

>Nervous already? Come on, your basically my wife already... And It's about time we consummated...
>Well, sorry... I just haven't tumbled for a day... Or two.
>I always loved the girls who act tough, but are delicate on the inside...
>Let's find somewhere private!
>Well, I've always been curious about using those horns for tumbling...
>Let's uh... Well... I think we should try to find my daughter first.
>Make out with her!
>Write-In
>>
>>777734
>I always loved the girls who act tough, but are delicate on the inside...
>Make out with her!

Can't wait until we get another wife for Solaire.
>>
File: download (42).jpg (9 KB, 270x186)
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>>777734
>I always loved the girls who act tough, but are delicate on the inside...
>Let's find somewhere private!

>All will be assimilated
Pick related
>>
File: JEBWINS.jpg (133 KB, 790x602)
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"You know... I've always loved the girls who act tough but are delicate on the inside..."

Roll me a 1d20+6 to seduce, Additional +3 for great compliments!

>>777747
Let's all agree that JEB is the true hokage of the United States. he deserves all of the Donald's Delegates...
>>
Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>777756
Corey in the house is the best anime ever
>>
Rolled 9 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>777756
>You're so nice. And your horns are so adorable.
>>777756
Jebkage best kage.
>>
File: 1464362253106s.jpg (3 KB, 125x125)
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9+9=18

Borderline Success

"Well, your so nice... And your horns are adorable!"

She kind of well... She seems flattered.

"Really? I mean, I never thought my horns were anything special..."

Roll me a 1d20+6 to continue flirting! Additional +3 for more compliments, (Becomes a +4 if it's for her horns)
>>
Rolled 12 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>777768
In fact your horns go along with your features beautifully. It's amazing.

Waifu shall be stolen
>>
Rolled 1 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>777768
Your horns are like the mountains of Greece. So grand and majestic.
>>
>inb4 you trigger her about the geological shape of Greece.

Wanna use tommorow's Barbaric?

>Yes
>No
>>
>>777781
>Yes
Waifu stealing is more important
>>
>>777781
Yes!
>>
Well, reroll me a 1d20... Additional +4 for BARBARIC/KHORNATE COMPLIMENTS!
>>
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>777789
Your horns are more lovely then any skull I've ever seen.
Your fur more gentle then any axe I could hold in my hand.
You make my blood run like the blood runs out of the wounds of my enemies.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>777789
>>
15+4=19

"Well, Your horns are more lovely then any skull I've ever seen... Your fur more gentle then any axe I could hold in my hand... You make my blood run like the blood runs out of the wounds of my enemies."

She at this point, completely gives up the tough girl act, and one or two more hits should get her Horny (ha!) enough to lay with you... She even smiles a little bit.

"I mean... Well... That's awfully nice of you to say. Even with the strange analogues..."

So, tis true we are stealing Flame's wife?

I wouldn't say stealing... Rather borrowing..."

Did you praise the sun and ask his permission?

Actions

>...Come on, he doesn't need to know this one time.
>Well, hopefully he doesn't get jealous. Why don't you go tell him, Solaire?
>Don't... Knowing him, he'll think I'm stealing his wife or something.
>This is revenge for him stealing my daughter...
>I can't help myself around beautiful women, sorry.
>Is Flames asleep?
>Ignore him, and continue seducing Chrysoula!
>Write-In
>>
>>777821
>...Come on, he doesn't need to know this one time.
>I can't help myself around beautiful women, sorry.
If we reach a climax, yell out "praise the sun!"
>>
>>777821
I'm pretty sure he said it was okay once.
We even talked about it.
Basically blah blah blah we share the same body something.
Maybe I should check archives
>>
Well, he said it was ok once... But don't tell him just yet, ok?

I see!

You return to reality, and go back to seducing.

"I mean... What your saying is w-well... Awfully nice, but still...I don't think Flames would like it..."

Actions

>Come on, I'm just as good as Flames, if not better...
>Maybe you should... Well, sabotage Flames a little. Make her think lower of him... Slander him a little!
>Begin to make out with her!
>It's fine, he said it was alright...
>Come on, he won't even know...
>Compliment her!
>Compliment her muscles? You know you like it when people notice!
>Write-In
>>
>>777843
>It's fine, he said it was alright...
>Compliment her muscles? You know you like it when people notice!

I feel like Flames is eventually going to do the same with Elizabeth some how,
>>
>>777843
>Compliment her!
>Begin to make out with her!
But be gentle.
She'll love it.

Let's finish the romancing and win this waifu
>>
"It's fine... He said it was alright..."

You begin to move into make out, before you do so, you decide to compliment her...

Roll me a 12d0+5, additional +3 if you can compliment her muscles and strength...
>>
Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>777860
You have more might then Atlas. (He was the Greek god who held the world on his shoulders forever)
>>
Rolled 15 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>777860
Part of my instincts say we're doing a bad.
I'm going to ignore them.

>>777860
Anyways this>>777870
>>
15+8=23

Great Success!

"You have more might and muscle then Atlas, you know..."

You begin to make out with her, though she's somewhat reluclant... Meanwhile, the lizardman doctor begins to write something down on a tablet...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to get her to accept making out (and then tumbling!).

Because I know how anons work, I assume you want to do tumbling in dragon form?
>>
Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>777887
I think half dragon is good enough if we're the same size as her. She isn't undead like Franzizka so I don't want her a masochist.
>>
Rolled 4 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>777887
Dragon blooded actually.
Let's not be too rough our first time.
>>
9+6=15

Minor Failure!

She shakes her head, still somewhat nervous, and breaks out of your grip.

"I mean... I don't want to hurt Flames, and besides... I'm not really your wife..."

Actions

>Oh. Sorry...
>Come on, your my wife... In my heart.
>Ignore her protests, and grab her and make out!
>Flames knows about it...
>Wake Flames up!
>Come on, what's a little tumble among friends?
>You know I always loved you since I laid eyes upon you...
>Lust Pheromones?
>Write-In
>>
>>777905
>>Come on, your my wife... In my heart.
What religion is Ren now? I remember he's switched once or twice.
>>
>>777909
This
>>
He's... He isn't really following ANY religion. The closest I would say would be being a Khornate.

"Come on, your my wife, in my heart..."

"I mean, that's not the same..."

"Is it?"

"Listen... I mean, I love your body... It's just... I don't want to betray Flames, ok?"

"Oh."

"And... Besides... You have plenty of other wives."
You can tell the taste right there.

The taste of low-confidence. Maybe you can use this to your advantage?

Actions

>Come on, I may have many wives... But I don't think any of them hold a candle to a minotaur...
>Come on, your a minotaur. You can beat people up, impale them on your horns, and be fluffy... Your unique.
>It's wrong not to love someone who loves you back.
>I'll get Flames then... He said it was ok.
>I admire your dedication to your husband, even if he isn't around that often...
>Try to appeal to her low-confidence!
>You don't seem to be too sure of yourself... Why don't you talk to me about that?
>Write-In
>>
>>777916
>Try to appeal to her low-confidence!
Weakness use!
>>
Be back in a few minutes anons!
>>
>>777916
>You don't seem to be too sure of yourself... Why don't you talk to me about that?
I'm heading off now. G'night.
>>
Sweet dreams, fellow /pol/ack

"You know... You don't seem too sure of yourself. Why don't you talk to me about that? I don't judge, and I'd be more then happy to."

"Really?"

"Well, sure."

"I mean... No one's ever offered..."

Actions

>Listen, I'm sure. And you'll feel a lot better for doing so.
>One condition... You tumble me afterwards.
>Glare at the Lizardman doctor to leave...
>Give her a hug, and sit her down!
>Erh, nevermind... I was never into listening...
>Write-In
>>
>>777930
>Glare at the Lizardman doctor to leave...
>Give her a hug, and sit her down!
>Listen, I'm sure. And you'll feel a lot better for doing so.
We're going to get more waifu points then flames.
>>
You glare at the Lizardman doctor to leave, and you give her a hug, and sit her down...

"Come on, you can tell me anything... And you'll feel a lot better for doing so..."

"Thanks... I mean... Well... Do you want me to start anywhere?"

"Start at the beginning..."

She begins an awfully long winded speech, how her step-mother always hated her, and constantly made fun of her...

"Hold on, your stepmother hated you?"

'Well... Yes..."

"What happened to your regular mom?"

"She... She passed away when the Nazis invaded Greece."

"Oh..."

"S-she was... She was killed by a bombing run..."

You put her hand on her shoulder.

"Come on, continue."

"S-so you know how I never really wear makeup at all?"

"Or perfume?"

"Well... Yeah?"

"Why?"

"Well... My stepmom hated me. She didn't want me to be a normal person, she saw me more as a... Well... A pet of sorts... She forbid me from using makeup, and she never actually taught me how to be a woman... My dad taught me how to be... Well... Try, I guess. I'm not very womanlike, am I?"

"Well, not really... You remind me more of a man at times."

"Yeah... I just.... I wish I knew my mom. My stepmom is a bitch... And truth be told... I never actually had any friends when I was younger, save the helot's children, and I just... Well... I felt like I wasn't a person when I lived with my stepmom and dad, you know?"

"Yeah..."

This is clearly sparking painful memories, as she lowers her head.

"Yeah... My stepmom despised my horns... She erh... She had them cut off at one point. That's why they're so short."

"Why did she hate you so bad?"

"Well... I don't know, honestly... I think she was jealous of my relationship with my dad though..." She seems to be rather upset...

Actions

>Come here, I think you need a hug...
>I'm sorry that your stepmom was a bitch.
>...I bet your mom was an amazing person, to have made someone like you.
>Your horns are beautiful, like gold ivory...
>I couldn't imagine living like that...
>Did your dad do anything?
>If you want, I bet Elizabeth would be happy to show how to use make up on you.
>One day, you'll get revenge on your step mom...
>Write-In
>>
>>777944
>Come here, I think you need a hug...
>Your horns are beautiful, like gold ivory...
>If you want, I bet Elizabeth would be happy to show how to use make up on you.

Making her cut of her horns.
If someone tried that shit on us we'd insta-gib them.
Her stepmom a shit.
>>
"Hey, come here... I think you need a hug... But I want you to know this, your horns are beautiful like golden ivory, no matter what anyone says, and I bet Elizabeth would be very happy to show you how to use makeup on you."

"Really?"

"Well, I'd be interested in how that looks..."

"I uh... Thank you for listening. I didn't think anyone cared enough to listen..."

"Oh, don't worry about it..."

You begin to make out with her... And shift slowly into your dragonblood form.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if she accepts your tumbling, additional +4 if you can reassure her and tell her good things about her personality!
>>
Rolled 16 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>777959
She's one of the Nicest, Strongest people we know. She's a wonderful person and great company.
>>
16+9=25

Great Success!

"Chrysoula, you are one of the nicest, strongest people I know... Your wonderful, and great company."

"I know... I just kinda feel like at times I don't have much to contribute..."

"Well, I think I can give you much more to contribute to..."

Roll me a 1d20+5 for tumbling a minotaur in your dragonblood form.
>>
Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>777963
Time for the clutch
>>
18+5=23

Great Success!

You begin tumbling her wildly, and it's... Well, it goes wild real fast. By the end of your tumble, most of the room is knocked around, damaged, or otherwise destroyed, and Chrysoula still seems rather strong... Meanwhile, you feel somewhat weak. You however, must admit... It isn't like anything you've had before. And you like it!

"Ren? Are you uh, ok?"

"What?"

"Your resting for a little bit... You tired already?"

You yawn slightly... You are actually quite tired...

"What, too gentle for you?"

"Eh... I was expecting a little longer..."

Actions

>That's it, shapeshift...
>Try to regain your will.
>That's enough for one night... Can I use you as a pillow?
>Well... Now I just feel like talking...
>You are... Something else.
>Write-In
>>
>>777973
>That's it, shapeshift...
It's step up our game time.
Dragon time.
But not too big.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10 to tumble Chrysoula!
>>
Rolled 13 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>777979
I probably can't keep up good rolls but may dice gods and trips guide me.
>>
13+10=23

Great Success!

Chrysoula shows some signs of tiring down, but the tumbling becomes increasingly wild.

"That's all you got? Come on! Man up!"

"I'm tired..."

"I've met bedbugs which can stay awake longer then you!"

You unleash a mighty yawn, and see that there's a crowd outside, slightly confused on what's going on... However, the rudimentary curtains seem to have horn holes in them, and torn apart...
Hm...

"So... Want me bigger?"

"Come on, your equal size of me. I can handle you just being a little bigger then me! Come on!"

You notice that if you did grow, this building might suffer structural integrity issues, and collapse from your size and tumbling ferocity...

Actions

>I'm uh... Come on. Any bigger and this building breaks...
>I'll make you eat those worlds. I can last longer then you!
>Well, there's only one option when dealing with Horny... Get bigger or go home.
>Deal with the crowd outside?
>You feel like calling it a night... Fall asleep with Chrysoula as your pillow.
>Write-in
>>
>>777992
>I'm uh... Come on. Any bigger and this building breaks...
She's eating up these Great Successes for tumbling like it's breakfast. I don't know if I can keep this up.
>I'll make you eat those worlds. I can last longer then you!
Let's do the impossible and pleasure Chrysoula.
>>
Well, she is just as strong as you anons (and her rolling is phenomanal.)

"Come on... Any bigger and this building breaks..."

"Well, come on then. damn it. I don't have all day."

"Well, I'll make you eat those words... I can last longer then you in bed I bet!"

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if that's true or not.
Additional +2 if you can give yourself motivation!
>>
Rolled 8 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>778011
Ren don't give up!
Your the tumble master!
You tumble'd frankizka so well she became a masochist!
>>
8+8=15

Failure!

You fail to compete against her, and eventually you curl up besides her, like she's a giant pillow. She chuckles as you fall asleep, completely exhausted... You've never tumbled someone who actually resisted that well...

After a hour of rest, you hear a knock at the door, and you think about opening, but decide against, since you just so happened to shrink down to fit in Chrysoula's breasts... Hmhmh... It's something to be squished by beautiful breasts...

"Dad? I have a new frieeeeendd!"

Oh. It's your daughter... You try and get up, but Chrysoula holds you down, quite obviously wanting you to say...

Actions

>Erh... Yell for your daughter to go away! Your in the middle of something!
>Oh, she can come in. She might as well learn about your relationship with Chrysoula now...
>Too comfy... Falling... Asleep...
>Try to wake up... Even if you feel EXHAUSTED.
>Tell Chrysoula to stop holding you down, your supposed to be the dominant one in this relationship...
>Write-In
>>
>>778029
>Yell to your daughter that your busy right now.
>Not done yet. Force yourself awake. YOU WILL WIN.
Damn her good rolls.
Damn them all.
>>
"I'm... Kind of busy Renexizia..."

"Aww... Ok!"

She walks off, and you turn over to Chrysoula... You try to force yourself awake...

Roll me a 1d20+3, additional +2 if you can give yourself determination to tumble her!
>>
Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>778035
Ren believe in the little Adolf that believes in you!
Tumble her and win!
>Row Row fight the power blares in the distance.
>>
10+5=15

Borderline Success!

You feel... Just barely, just barely that someone believes in you. Believes you can handle this tank of a woman... So, you poke her awake... And begin to tumble her to her surprise!

Roll me a 1d20+3 if you can last long!
>>
Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>778038
You can do this.
Believe in the you that we believe in!
>>
>>778038
OP do our odds go up if we remove our eye patch?
>>
>>778047
Erh... I mean, I'll allow samefagging if you do that... And I'll say it gets increased by a +4

But it may have dire consequences, since you are in the middle of civilization, and the last time you did this... Well, I think it ended up with some elven bastards.
>>
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>>778048
Can we resist the urge to rape and pillage?
I kinda want other anons present before I make this decision. Especially since it's like 1 AM for me
>>
>>778052
Well, I'm gonna pass out now. I'll check back in when I wake up. If no other anon votes, I'll just assume no one wants to go full rape and pillage
>>
>>778055
Well I'm for it but I want to not lock in my vote before I get rest.
Night OP.
>>
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>778038
Oh man, I'm going to fuck up.
>>
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>778038
Wow, what a cool quest!
>>
15+3=18

Great Success!

You begin to tumble her while she sleeps, and she wakes up, confused... She however, lets you do this, and is beginning to seem a little tired, yawning a little bit...

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you can keep this up!
>>
Bump
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>778384
I feel like tumbling rolls or rolls related to tumbling exceed actual combat ones this thread.
>>
That sounds like Ren alright.

7+3=10

Failure!

You climax, and pass out quickly afterwards, utterly exhausted.
When you wake up in the morning, you feel her... Well, panic, and push you off of her. Gently, though.

You open your eyes to see a regretful Chrysoula...

"W-why did I... Why did you..."

"What, tumble you?"

"W-why?"

Actions

>Aw, she's being adorable.. Just rub her fur.
>Come on, can we tumble some more...
>You are the most beautiful minotaur I have ever encountered... Of course I would tumble you.
>And that's revenge for Flames stealing my wife...
>I'm sorry, I just... I couldn't control myself last night....
>Come on, you have to admit that was good sex...
>Can you make some breakfast for me? I'm starving...
>Write-In
>>
>>778454
>You are the most beautiful Minotaur I have ever encountered... Of course I would tumble you.
>Write-In
"If you didn't enjoy it, then I am sorry but I felt that I should at least see how you would react to this. If it makes you feel any better flames won't be too angry about the tumbling, more so about me upsetting you like this.


Now I am going to go and get breakfast for both of us then we can sit here and work this out, okay? Also if you are hurt anywhere then tell me and I will heal you."
>>
"You are the most beautiful Minotaur I have ever encountered. Of course I would tumble you... Did you enjoy it?"

"I mean... It was some of the best sex I ever had..."

"Great! Well I'm sorry but I wanted to at least see how to this, and if it makes you feel better he would be more angry about me upsetting you."

"No... I just meant that I can't believe I betrayed him like this... I didn't think I was that easy to win over..."

Actions

>Oh, it's fine...
>Well, just saying, but I have a intimate knowledge about how female's emotions work, and I have become exceedingly good at it.
>A minotaur like yourself would attract plenty of suiters, such as me...
>Flames is still your husband, you know... But I bet I could substitute when he's not around, eh?
>I'm going to get breakfast...
>If anything you were remarkably strong willed...
>You were a little easily swayed, tis true...
>Write-In
>>
Bumping anons.
>>
>>778505
>If anything you were remarkably strong willed...
>Write-In
"It took Elizabeth one trip to see a film to get into her private garden, and this isn't the one with the naughty statues I made that I am talking about!

You are immensely loyal to your husband. You just had the bad luck that I occupy the same body as him, which makes this slightly easier to accept, doesn't it?"
>>
"Well, if anything you are remarkably strong-willed. It took Elizabeth one trip to see a film to get into her private garden, and this isn't the one with the naughty statues that I made that I'm talking about... But you are immensely loyal to your husband. You just had the bad luck that I occupy the same body as him, which makes this slightly easier to accept, doesn't it?"

"I would prefer to forget about what happened, honestly... Save how well I was tumbled, I suppose."

"Really?"

"I just... I don't want to be though of as a slut or anything..."

Actions

>You aren't a slut! Come on, I'll make you breakfast, and you'll feel a lot better.
>It's fine if you don't want to dwell on what happened last night. I won't tell anyone else, I swear.
>You'll get used to this, don't worry...
>Check if Flames is awake!
>Is this... Is this from your stepmom again?
>If you want, we can just be friends.
>Well, you are the wife of my best friend, and he doesn't mind. Want to be my wife as well?
>Write-In
>>
>>778589
>You aren't a slut! Come on, I'll make you breakfast, and you'll feel a lot better.
>Write-In
"Still, if you don't want to tumble again... I'll try to respect that as well as I can. Which will be pretty easy, no offence, so long as I don't do something stupid; like uncover my eye..."
>>
"You aren't a slut or anything like that. Come on, I'll make you breakfast and you'll feel a lot better... But still, if you don't want to tumble again... I'll try to respect that as well as I can, which will be pretty easy, no offense... So long as I don't do something stupid; like uncover my eye."

"Am I ugly or something? I mean, I don't want to tumble... But why did you just say that?"

"What?"

Tis should never say "no offense" around a damsel! It will only result in sore buttocks, and an angry damsel!

"What?"

"Did you say all that stuff last night just so you could sleep with me? And now you just say that I was ugly?!" She seems... Slightly angered.

Actions

>Well... Yes. Sorry.
>You are... Well, you have fur and no scales. You aren't exactly too attractive to me.
>I said no offense! I'm not trying to offend you!
>So, you do want to be tumbled?
>Don't take that tone with me. Ever.
>Listen, I just misspoke...
>I don't think you know what to think.
>Didn't you just say you didn't want to remember last night?
>You may be the most beautiful minotaur I have ever met, but I was just claiming that I had great self-control!
>I was just referring to me having great self control when put up against a bastion of beauty like yourself!
>Shit, you don't want to get punched again... Try a tactic... Make out with her!
>Come on, I'm making breakfast and if your pissed off with me, I won't make you any.
>Write-In
>>
>>778589
>You aren't a slut! Come on, I'll make you breakfast, and you'll feel a lot better.
>>
>>778722
>I said no offense! I'm not trying to offend you!
>I was just referring to me having great self control when put up against a bastion of beauty like yourself!
>Write-In
"I said it specifically so you wouldn't think I was referring to your vast beauty but rather I was referring to my opinion of you and of flames; that I don't want to hurt you or him, ever, unless it is truly needed and thus it would be easy to avoid doing this again. After seeing it hurt you so!


You want me to make it up to you? How about I let flames take over for an hour, assuming he is awake or how about we just relax for today? I can delay my plans and we can just explore and enjoy this place?"
>>
>>778748
This.
>>
"I said no offense! And I was just referring to me having great self control when put up against such a bastion of beauty! "I said it specifically so you wouldn't think I was referring to your vast beauty but rather I was referring to my opinion of you and of flames; that I don't want to hurt you or him, ever, unless it is truly needed and thus it would be easy to avoid doing this again. After seeing it hurt you so!"

She seems a little shaken-up.

"O-oh. I uh... I just... Sorry... I jumped to conclusions, I just..."

"It's fine, ok? You want me to make it up to you? How about I let flames take over for an hour, assuming he is awake or how about we just relax for today? I can delay my plans and we can just explore and enjoy this place?"

"I... I don't really want to explain this to Flames, and I think I took up enough of your time... I'm sorry about jumping to conclusions, I just thought you were using me..."

"I would never use you."

"I see. I'm sorry about lunging out like that."

Actions

>Give her a hug!
>I should of worded it better, you don't have to apologize.
>Well, there is one way you can make up for it... Why don't you give me a kiss?
>Come on... I'll make you breakfast.
>So... No for Flames or relaxing? Huh.
>I can't let a woman like yourself not relax... Come on, we have an entire day to hang out...
>You deserve some time with Flames. Come on.
>I see... Well, I'll make sure these lizard-people learn to respect and love you since you don't want to slow me down.
>Write-In
>>
>>778766
>Come on... I'll make you breakfast.
>>
>>778766
>Give her a hug!
>Come on... I'll make you breakfast.
>>
You give her a hug, and she doesn't resist, and she hugs you back.

"Come on, let's find something to eat in this god-forbidden swamp..."

You are now Renexizia, and it is now yesterday!

You've recently been having some strange thoughts, like digging your own lair, finding lots of money, and getting more friends... But on the other hand, you kinda wanted to ask your dad for advice, but it seemed he was tired and was sleeping with Flame's wife. So of course, left alone, you begin thinking...

Actions

>You know, why don't you make this entire town your lair? You'd have lots of food, friends nearby, and triangle buildings! (Renexizia starts gravitating towards conquering...)
>Eh, you kinda want to build it deep in the swamp. Mostly so you can do it by yourself, and no one can bother you! No boys (Unless they're your friends!) allowed! (Renexizia becomes a little more reclusive...)
>You know, that pirate ship was cool! And it can sail around! And pirates are cool! You wanna make THAT into your lair!
>You kinda don't want a lair... You can just be with your dad forever! (Renexizia's ambitions slow down a little... She also remains the way she is.)
>Write-In for ideas!
>>
>>778794
I'll leave this to blacker baron but if he isn't making a choice;


>You kinda don't want a lair... You can just be with your dad forever! (Renexizia's ambitions slow down a little... She also remains the way she is.)


So we can decide later.
>>
Well, I'm going to wait twenty minutes anons.
>>
You kinda decide against having a lair... It just seems a little needless. But of course, you decide to visit the elders to tell them that you removed the pirates (Save one!)

You go up the temple stairs, and get to the top...

"Hiiii? Is anyone home?"

You don't really see anyone in the temple, but there is a staircase going downward, in the middle of the room and lots of plants and herbs around! Not to mention a table with a red paint on it! Cool!

Actions

>...You should just find somewhere to sleep...
>Ooooh, maybe you can play juuust a little bit...
>What happens if you eat one of those herbs?
>Ooh, a red table! Sit on it!
>You should head down those stairs in the middle of the room! Spooky! What could be down there?
>Write-In
>>
>>778864
Shit I missed voting for lairs

>You should head down those stairs in the middle of the room! Spooky! What could be down there?
>Contemplate what kind of lair we'd have if we did have one. Definitely lot's of food.
>>
You contemplate what lair you'd have, and you'd greatly enjoy something with lots of food... But you head down the stairs, curious... When your stopped by a large reptile, kinda looking like a blue crocodile!

"Why are you stopping me?"

He grunts, and motions for you to back away.

"Can I pleeeease go in?"

He shakes his head. That's when you notice he's bigger then all the lizardmen you met so far!

Actions

>Soooo... Do you have a name?
>Your scales are shiny!
>Wanna be friends?
>Aww... Can I go in? Pleeeaaaseee?
>Can you talk?
>Try to be adorable to gain entrance...
>Can I have food? I'm hungry.
>So... What kind of lair should I have? I wanna ask a grown up!
>Sigh, and leave.
>Write-in
>>
>>778887
>Soooo... Do you have a name?
>>
>>778887
>Can you talk?
>Soooo... Do you have a name?
>>
"Soooo, do you have a name?"

"...Ioaxas."

"Cool! What are you guarding?"

"Secrets."

"Secrets? Cool! Can I know some of them?"

"No."

"But whyyyyyyy...."

"Because they are secrets."

"Aw..."

"Now, get out of here, outlander."

Actions

>Come on, we're friends! You can tell me what is behind this hallway!
>Ioaxas is a cool name!
>Wanna be friends?
>Look at him sadly! You want in!
>So, what do you do beside guarding secrets?
>Fine, I'll go...
>Write-In
>>
>>778912
>Wanna be friends?
If we ask someone to be friends that means we're friends.
>Come on, we're friends! You can tell me what is behind this hallway!
>>
"So... Wanna be friends?"

It seems confused.

"...What is a "Friend?"

"Wwwwwhaaaattt?! You never heard of what a friend is? Friends let each other pass through hallways!"

Ioaxas seems confused, still.

Actions

>Try to describe a friend to him!
>Hug him and describe what friends do!
>You don't seem too smart... Sorry.
>So, what do you do?
>Pleeeeaseeee! I wanna get in!
>Come on, let me past! What's the worst that could happen!
>Your coming with me, and we're gonna hang out! Have you ever painted someone's claws before, because I haven't!
>Are you a guy or girl? Just curious...
>Write-In
>>
>>778933
>Your coming with me, and we're gonna hang out! Have you ever painted someone's claws before, because I haven't!
>Are you a guy or girl? Just curious...
It's not like we're picky with our friends
>>
"So... Are you a girl or guy?"

It still seems confused.

"...I do not know what that is."

Actions

>Well, I'm gonna say your a guy, since your big and muscular!
>Your a girl, because your so friendly and adorable!
>Well, I guess I'll just call you... It! Tag!
>>
>>778957
>Your a girl, because your so friendly and adorable!
Girls can be strong too.
Just look at Chrysoula
>>
"Well, I'm gonna say your a girl, since we're the best gender, and your so strong and adorable and friendly!"

"I see."

"Well, come on, your coming with me, and your going to hang out with me, and paint my claws, because I never had them painted before!" You nearly squeal as you say this, and you give her a big hug. She however, forces you off her.

"I am guarding. I am not leaving until ordered to do so."

Actions

>Try to be adorable!
>Well... What's down there?
>We can paint my claws right here then! It'll be fun!
>Well, I order you to hang out with me!
>Come on, someone can cover your shift!
>Grab her! She's yours now, forever and forever and forever.... And try to run off! (Or explore deeper!)
>Come on, can I at least know what your guarding?
>Write-In
>>