>>746516
>Maybe you should try to "understand" humans or at least appear like it, and pretend they're... Heh, "equal" for bonus points.

"Liz?"

"Yeah? What?" She says, inbetween mouthfuls of food.

"I was thinking... How exactly do you humans work?"

Roll me a 1d20+7 to see if you can try to understand humans... Or at least pretend to understand.

Rolled 9 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>746622

If anons want to you can samefag.

Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>746669
Nice to see you back QM!

Yeah. My laptop is quite literally about to die.

9+7=16

Borderline Success!

You mostly just nod your head and pretend to understand. You catch a few things, but you do think she enjoyed talking to you (and thinking she changed your mind.)

"So, catch any of that?"

"I heard a lot about Rome."

"Right... Sorry, I rather do like Rome and Athens. Very interesting in my opinion."

"Really?"

"Well, of course. Why do you think I loved your little underground garden with the Greek carvings?"

Actions

>Honestly, I thought you like the statue of you...
>I too, love Rome... And Greece. Want to talk about it?
>What's your favorite thing about it?
>You know I can speak Draconi- I mean, Latin and Greek, right? I can teach you it.
>Let's talk about something else...
>Personally, I don't really like Rome... There's better empires, you know.
>One question... Pre-Imperial Rome, or post-Julius Caesar?
>Write-In

Gonna give a quick bumpity bump.

>>746723
>Honestly, I thought you like the statue of you...
>You know I can speak Draconi- I mean, Latin and Greek, right? I can teach you it.
>I too, love Rome... And Greece. Want to talk about it?

"Well, honestly I thought you liked the statue of you..."

"Of course I do, I just love both your carvings and the statue."

"Yeah... You know, I can speak Draconi- I mean, Latin and Greek, right? If you want, I can teach it to you."

"Sounds interesting... But what were you going to say? Draconic?"

"Well, that's what I think of it as. I mean, I could speak it right out of the womb..."

"I wonder why."

"...There's a lot of questions about my birth... But anyways, I do love Rome as well, along with Greece... Want to talk about it later?"

"Well, sure. As long as you don't confuse Draconic and Latin together."

Actions.

>...I'll have you know it's Draconic, not Latin.
>Latin, Draconic... It's a matter of prespective...
>Well, fine. I'll cede to you the right of calling Draconic as Latin...
>Didn't you know that us Dragons was Romans and shit?
>I love you too.
>You know, it could just be a coincidence.
>So, you know Chrysoula's from Greece, right?
>I promise you that one day, the two of us will go down to Greece, restore it... And go on a tour. It'll be a great honeymoon... Speaking of, we never really went on one, did we?
>Speaking of accents... I really don't have that much of a Swedish accent, right?
>Come on, Sweden's way better then the two of those countries COMBINED.
>You know, I love learning about Hitler and the Romans... I mean, both are so interesting to me. (Start the path of loving Romans as much as Hitler.)
>Greece is better. I mean, without Greece, Western Civilization would never of existed... Or Hitler... (Start the path of loving Greeks as much as Hitler.)
>...So, just curious... Any favorite people from the history of Rome? Like Julius Caesar?
>Write-In

>>746844
>Speaking of accents... I really don't have that much of a Swedish accent, right?
>Latin, Draconic... It's a matter of prespective...

>Write-In
"So who would you rather fight; a roman legion or a Greek shield wall of similar size. No fire breath, magic or such but draconic form is allowed."

"Speaking of accents... I don't really have that much of a Swedish accent, right?"

"Erh... Well, yes..."

"How thick is it?"

"Noticeable... But good, I guess."

"Nice... Women love accents. Anyways, Latin and Draconic is just a matter of perspective... But anyways, who would you rather fight; A Roman Legion, or a Greek shield wall of similar size. No fire breath, ice breath, etc... But Draconic form is allowed."

"Greeks. They don't have ranged weaponry, and I have longer reach then them."

"Huh... Well."

A few more minutes go by with you talking to her about history...

So, anons... Time for something, possibly completely different.
PoV shift!

>Remain as Renexizious and try to seduce your wife further!
>Unknown!
>Charlemagne!
>Viktorious!

>>746920
>Unknown!

Mystery box is very mysterious...

Mystery Box it is.

You are surrounded in blackness, unknowing of who, where, or what exactly you are. Except that your IN something.
What that is, in particular, is lost to you. All that really concerns you is getting out of the blackness... So you slam up against it... And after a little bit, your set free. You fall out of whatever was containing you... And you try to see.

Anons, roll me a 1d20... I'll be back in a while, as I have to go to a funeral.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>747061

Bumping. Oh, and samefagging allowed.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>747061

Finally got out of the funeral. Bumping for later and writing in thirty minutes.

>>747733
Why did you have to go to a funeral? I thought you were from Britain and recently moved to the states for something job related.

Also nice double dubs

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>747061
Nice to see you've returned OP.

>>747798
I did, and guess what? I had to fly back to fucking Britain.
All to get depressed.

Yay.

8

You blink your eyes slowly... You have terrible vision it seems, and you notice that all around you, is a vibrantly colored building... Enclosing you. You feel something poking your feet, so you look down to see green hedges all around... Huh.

Of course, you decide to do some internal thoughts, such as "who am I?" and "Where am I?".
This gets you very far, as you notice three things, first of all you just hatched from an egg, second of all there's some moving pink thing slowly backing away from you (which you recognize as a human), and you seem to be female... Not to mention rather large compared to the human, who seems to be backing away, saying something you don't really understand. So of course, filled with childish curiosity, you decide to act.

Actions.

>Try to wrap your head around what the small human is trying to say?
>Attempt to fly?
>Hold on... Your a dragon! You should give yourself a name or something.
>This building in your way is somewhat of a nuisance. Try to break through it!
>Maybe you can play with this human? Grab it!
>Try to ask the human a question?
>Your sort of hungry. What happens if you eat the human?
>Write-In

>>747892
>Female dragon.
We must hide her from Ren

>Try to wrap your head around what the small human is saying.
>You should give yourself a name.

>>747892
>Try to wrap your head around what the small human is trying to say?
I'm so sorry. I hope things turn out alright for you.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can actually understand what the human is saying.

Rolled 17 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>747939
Have a 20

Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>747939
Have a 1

17+5=22

Success!

You begin to somewhat understand what the human is saying. Mostly "Don't eat me! I'm too young to get eaten by a dragon!"

"Hi!" You yell out.

He flinches a little in terror. Meanwhile, you take this innocently and get closer to him.

"Where am I?"

"Y-your in your mother's gardens!"

Mother? Well, that can wait for later... Right now though, you gotta come up with a name for yourself.

Actions.

>Your too cool to have a name!
>Erh... Ask the man if he has any ideas.
>...A name can wait! You have important questions!
>How about... Bassilth? That sounds good?
>Benarth? That sounds alright.
>Go for something a little foreign... Zinnath? Zinnath seems a little weird though.
>Ask the man why he's so nervous you'll eat him!
>Write-In

>>747976
>Ask the man why he's so nervous you'll eat him
>Erh... Ask the man if he has any ideas
My naming skills a shit.

>>747976
>Ask the man why he's so nervous you'll eat him!
>Erh... Ask the man if he has any ideas.
How about Ren?

>>747992
>Ren
I like this idea.
It sounds totally original.
Renexizia?

"Hey uh... Why are you so nervous I'll eat you?"

"W-well, I mean, your a dragon... That's what they do, right?"

"I mean, I don't want to eat you. Anyways... What should I call myself? How about... Renexizia?"

"Erh... That's erh..."

"Great?"

The man gulps.

"Yeah... I guess..."

"Great!" You say, rather excited.

Actions.

>So... Where am I exactly?
>...So, who's my mom? You haven't told me yet!
>Do you know my dad?
>You know, your funny! Why don't you come with me and the two of us can explore or do stuff?
>What's your name?
>Ignore him and try to get out of this courtyard!
>Want to be friends?
>Write-In

>>748064
>You know your funny! Why don't you come with me and the two of us explore and do stuff!
>Want to be friends
>What's your name
This guy is grade A friendship material

"You know what? Your funny! Why don't you come with me and the two of us explore and stuff?"

"I'm su-"

"Come on! We'll be the best of friends! What's your name anyways?"

"I'm uh, Haroldr. I'm supposed to tell your parents when you hatched, but they're uh... Gone."

"Gone? Gone where?"

He shrugs his shoulders.

"So, who's my mom and dad?"

"Erh, well... Your dad is the ruler of Sweden, and he rules over most of Europe, while your mother is the Queen of England..."

"Really? Cool..."

Actions.

>...If they're gone, I'm the Queen, right? Cool! That's how it works, right?
>Come on, get on my head! We're gonna explore a ton, and be best friends forever!
>Well, I gotta become the strongest dragon ever before they come back then...
>Are they nice people? Just curious.
>Come on, we gotta impress them! They'd be so proud, and I'd be the best daughter ever!
>...Why in the world aren't they here? That sucks...
>We gotta find them! There's no time to lose!
>...Aw... Well... I gotta make some friends then until they come back. I can't be lonely forever.
>...What's my dad and mom like? You haven't told me anything about them!
>...Not to sound stupid... But what's a "europe?"
>Write-In

>>748139
>She's Rens child
Now I want to have her wonder off just to troll Ren harder.
>What's my mom and dad like? You haven't told me anything about them.
>We have to find them there is no time to lose!

Waiting fifteen more minutes.

"So erh... What are my mom and dad like? You haven't told me anything about them!"

"Well... They're large, imposing... Scary..."

"Huh... Well, we gotta find them! What if they're dead or something?"

"I mean... I was told to keep you here..."

The guard seems a little nervous.

Actions.

>Come on, it'll be fun! We'll make friends, get money, and maybe make dad proud!
>...Fine, I guess we can stay here.
>...If we stay here, your my caretaker... You know that, right?
>...Try to beg? Whine a little?
>He isn't your mom or dad! Threaten him!
>Come on, you don't have to tell anyone anything! Just say I'm invisible or something!
>Write-In

>>748339
>Puppy dog eyes.
It works for Claw

Even though your reptilian eyes lack the enlargement and adorable features of a canine, you decide to try your best..

Roll me a 1d20+5 to try and be an adorable childish dragon. Additional +2 for adorable things.

Rolled 14 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>748362
Piout and whimper.
This will totally work

You look at Haroldr, pouting and whimpering... The whimpering however, comes out as growling. Oh, right. Reptilian and all that.

14+7=21

Borderline Failure!

"C-come on... Your father would kill me..." He still seems rather nervous.

Actions.

>...You need to further increase the adorableness... Muhahahaha. (Specify How)
>Come on, pretty please? We're best friends forever, aren't we?
>Come on, my dad is the best dad hopefully in the universe. He won't eat you if you help me!
>...If you help me, I won't use you as a toy and throw you around a little...
>Fine then! I'll find someone else!
>He's coming with you no matter what! Try to grab him?
>Aww... Fine...
>Write-In

>>748397
>Increase the adorableness levels!
Roll onto our back with our belly exposed.
Whimper more.
And say
>Pleeaassseeee.
It always works

Dear God, roll me a 1d20+8 to see if he'll break.

Rolled 20 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>748409
He will break.

>>748414
So we are cute now?
Is this going to be our special skill?
Smothering them into submission with adorable?

Critical Success!

You roll unto your back, squishing a few plants.

"Come on.... Pllleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaassssseeeeee?"

He begins sweating nerviously.

"I mean... Y-"

You begin the whimpering, and make sure to water your eyes... You look like your about to cry.

"C-Come on, please don't..."

"W-Why are you such a meanie?" You make sure to say this with a slight lisp, and sniffling.

"I-I... I mean..."

He lets out a breath of air.

"Fine..."

You get up, clearly happy as... Well, some proverb! And grab him, and squeeze him, with a big toothy smile.

"Thank you! This means so much!"

"Please... Let go..."

"Huh? Oh. Sorry."

You stop squeezing him and drop him on the ground. He begins crawling and trying to take a breath of air... And you try to fly. But it seems your wings are too young to fly yet.

"So uh... We kinda have a problem. I'm too young to fly."

Haroldr seems to be taking breaths of air, and turns over.

"Does that mean you'll stay here? Please?"

Actions

>Laugh audibly. You have a QUEST!
>...Erh... Where exactly did my parents go?
>...Try to get his emotional support by looking sad even more!
>Erh... Maybe you can become as small as the human? That would be helpful, you guess.
>Write-In

>>748439
>Eh... Maybe you can become as small as the human? That would be helpful.

Roll me a 1d20 to see if you can in fact shapeshift.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>748459
If we believe hard enough anything is possible

Great Failure!

It seems you lack the ability to shapeshift... That's a uh... Well, a slight problem. Since your surrounded by a building. You can however, shift to about the size of a large car.

"So... Is there any secret exits or anything?"

"No? Why would there be?"

"Well... The only way out is to either smash through the building or try to crawl through it somehow..."

"There's always the choice of staying here..."
You pout slightly as you think how to get out...

Actions.

>Smashing sounds fun! Let's do that!
>...I mean, I'm not fat. So I can totally crawl through a building!
>...Try to climb up it? Even if you weigh a ton?
>Is there a sort of passage for trucks or something? Maybe you can sneak me out that way? Somehow?
>Look disappointed.
>There's always a way out! Why don't we try digging in the garden? Maybe we can TUNNEL our way out!
>Write-In

>>748501
>Tunnel our way out.
Sorry garden.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can destroy Elizabeth's garden.

Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>748526
Removing flowers.

3+5=8

Great Failure!

You spend an hour attempting to dig holes. It seems you haven't gotten sharp enough claws to do that yet, and all you've done is deflowered, deshrubed, and destroy the garden.

Haroldr seems to be paniking as you try to come up with a plan to escape this place...

Actions.

>What's a little property damage? Try to smash through the palace!
>Ask Haroldr if there's a truck you can at least try to crawl into.
>When in doubt... Take a nap.
>This is boring... You'll just wait for your parents to come back. (PoV Change)
>Maybe you can crawl through the palace?
>Write-in

>>748547
>Try to smash through the palace.
I'm laughing right now.
Please let this get a 20

You decide to smash through the palace...

"Wait! Don't do it!"

"Huh?"

"Come on, you've already destroyer HER garden! You'll get me killed!"

"I mean, there's no way out..."

"I don't think destroying valuable English architecture is a good idea, come on!"

Actions.

>Try to roar and smash through the building!
>...Aw... Come on, pleeeeease? I just wanna get out.
>Do you have anything else to do?
>...Fine... Well... I guess.
>I'm not going to hurt anyone if mom's concerned about it... This stupid wall is just in the way!
>Come on, you'll be perfectly fine!
>Mom would never hurt one of my friends! Come on!
>Write-in

>>748580
>It's fine. It's fine. Everything is fine.
>Remov walls.
We already started digging his grave. Can't stop now.

"Come on. It's fine... It's fine. Everything is fine."

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if your strong enough to remove walls.

Rolled 7 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>748604
Remov wall!

Feel free to samefag on this roll please.

Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>748631
Got it
Man the dice only care for cute so far it seems.

12+6=18

Minor Success!

You pull some of the wall away, and begin to try and get in. You of course, grab Haroldr and try to climb through the hole you made...

Roll me a 1d20+4 for wiggling.

Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>748641
Wiggle like a worm
(Even though we don't know what that is)

6+4=10

Failure!

You get stuck while climbing through. Great. You try waving your legs and kick the wall, doing very little, while fleeing people in what seems to be a large room with walls with little books on them. You poke one of them and it falls over, sending little white sheets everywhere, Haroldr tells you to be careful as this is the "library".

"Erh... Can you help me?"

"What? I mean... How?" Hardoldr says.

"I'm uh... Stuck. Can you pull me out?"

"Are you trying to get me to pull you out?"

"Well, yeah..."

"I'm not nearly strong enough to do that!"

"Aw... Great. Do you have anything to get me out?"

"I mean, there's a few tubs of butter... But that's for your dad... And also, it's probably for the best you stop trying to get out!"

Actions

>...Come on... Please?
>Squeeze him until he does so!
>...Eliminate another bookshelf. Push one!
>Yell for help!
>Come on... If you help me I'll try my best not to damage the rest of the building.
>Headpat him slightly.
>Write-In

>>748678
>Childlike grin and push down another bookshelf.

You give a childlike grin as you push down a bookshelf onto the floor.

"Seriously! Stop it!"

"Come on, get the stuff and I'll stop it... It's kind of fun, honestly."

"Please don't... God."

"What? I mean, it's kinda fun seeing stuff get destroyed... Now, get me that butter."

"Erh... I guess..."

You drop him on the floor, and he runs off.

Roll me a 1d20+8 to see if butter helps. Or you just take after your father and try to drink it instead.

Rolled 17 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>748701
A one doesn't sound so bad here.

17+8=25

Great Success!

You slide out of the wall thanks to Haroldr running down, chased by a few servants. They quickly flee once they realize what's happening, and he pours butter onto you.

So of course, you slide against the slick wooden floor... Knocking into more bookshelves.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see how much damage is incurred to the library.

Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>748713
Low rolls baby
Gimme that one!

2+4=6

AMAZING FUCKING FAILURE!

Your buttered self slides across the floor, knocking into bookshelves, causing them to fail. Haroldr yells in despair as the room becomes a white sheet, buttery mess, and you continue sliding (purposely) since it's so much fun. Eventually you slide over to Haroldr, and you notice your covered in a strange texture, white sheets everywhere, which are also covered in butter... Everywhere you look is covered in butter, safe the walls and roof.

"This is fun! Wheee!!" You slide along, your tail knocking into a painting, smashing it to bits. Haroldr yells in despair. Eternal despair.

"Please! Stop!"

"I don't know if I can!"

You continue to slide...

"Hey uh... Just curious. Is there any food? I'm starving."

"Dear God, knowing you you'll try to cover yourself in butter and attach turkey legs to yourself."

"...What's a turkey? And this butter stuff is edible?"

"Well, yes... Oh, right."

Actions.

>...Let's get something to eat then! Sounds like fun!
>...Uh, sorry about obliterating the library.
>Come on, I have to escape to the streets!
>...More butter sounds like fun. Can we cover myself up in it some more?
>I'm uh... Kinda eager to taste this butter stuff now.
>...Can you get rid of these white sheets on my scales? It's kinda annoying.
>Come on, this is what being friends is all about!!
>Write-In

I'm so intrigued by how pissed off Elizabeth will be once she comes back.

>>748750
>How pissed Elizabeth will be
Well her garden is fucked
A wall is missing the the building.
And her library is done for.
Haroldr seems to be in deeps shit.

>Come on, I have to escape to the streets!
We can eat later.
Maybe we'll find food outside.

"Come on, we've got to get to the streets!"

"I'd argue that's erh... Well, worse. Probably from the d-"

You grab him, and go up to a wall...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if you can tear it down!

Rolled 15 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>748787
OP can you quantify how much damage we've caused in dollars?
A gross estimate would do.

Let's see.

About $3,000,000 USD.

15+6=21

Success!

You tear through another wall and emerge onto the street, where lots of strange metal objects seem to be... After a few seconds they begin to zoom off, like ants!

"What are those?"

"Erh, cars."

You look around the outside, and see EVEN more buildings... Restaurants, terrified bystanders, cars, and a street... Now of course, you gotta find out where your dad went!

Actions.

>...Loudly shout Hi at the bystanders!
>Try your best at a roar!
>...Food sounds nice... A restaurant?
>Try to chase after some of the cars! It seems like fun!
>Erh, Haroldr? Do you know where my mom and dad went?
>Your sort of bored... Time to play a bit with the strange poles the cars are stopping at!
>Try to kick a car! How far can you launch it?
>Loudly yell for the directions to the dock. You have feeling mom and dad could be overseas or something...
>Write-In

>>748826
>Try your best to roar
A roar in celebration of freedom.
>Food sounds nice... A restaurant?
Now we storm them for food.


>3,000,000 USD
I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed.
I'll just go with proud.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to try and perfect your roaring.
>inb4 squeak.

>>748844
I'm surprised you didn't just stay and try to destroy all of it to have a high score forever.

Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>748855
It would be fun to stay and just wreck shit but we have a QUEST!
I'm kind of playing renexizia as childish and semi destructive but able to do other shit.
Of course if we don't find them in a bit I'll have her return because boredom a shit.

2+4=6

Amazing Failure!

You let out a squeak. You begin to blush, embarrassed of your lack of roaring... So you just ignore the confused looks at you and you just go to find a restraunt or something while walking down a street.

"Where the hell are we going?"

"Well, I'm sorta hungry... And I smell food everywhere."

Of course, you go for a casual stroll.... Occasionally you crush an uninhabited car or two, dealing some minor property damage, until you come across somesort of place, which smells of grease and meat. Huh. You press your face up against a window to the restaurant, and look in greedily. Haroldr seems slightly concerned, but seems to have accepted his fate in being your semi-accomplice.

"You hungry?"

"C-can we just move along? Please?"

Actions.

>...Press your face THROUGH the glass.
>Come on, I mean... We'll do the awesome way! We'll break in, like... Erh, what's the word when you take something without asking?
>Is it free? I'm curious...
>Fiiiiinneeee... Your such a bore.
>Try to cram in through the glass doors!
>Haroldr, why don't you go in and get me something to eat, pretty please?
>Write-In

>>748892
>Break in and take the food without asking.
We don't pay for things.
We aren't even a day old.

Truly, Renexiza is the hero we need.
And possibly Slavic at this rate.

You begin to pry the wall down... Which is made of stone yet again! Not to mention somesort of sign saying "Wimpy". Which is in your way...

Roll me a 1d20+6. Additional +2 if you can think of what Renexiza would like to eat...


I'm just saying, but I think the total cost in damages will be a lot higher by the time the night is over.

Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>748909
What she would eat.
Butter(it's fun) lettuce(after fucking up a garden she might be wondering how green stuff tastes)
And meat(it smells tasty)
I have an expert understanding of dragon babies.

12+8=20

Success!

You tear down the wall and enter, knocking seats down and sending some people running, along with a small family. You put your head up to the counter.

"So uh... Can I have food?"

The clerk seems terrified.

"W-What do you want?"

You look up at the sign, and crudely begin asking for butter, lettuce, and meat.

"S-so you want a hamburger?"

"What's that?"

"It's uh... It's bread, meat, lettuce, tomato..."

"Is there butter?"

"I-I mean, we can put some on... I think."

Actions.

>...Yay! That sounds great!
>...I'll have all your hamburgers. I'm a growing dragon, after all!
>...What's this metal thing you put green slips into? Can I have it?
>Oooh! What else do you serve here?
>Haroldr, want anything?
>Why is everyone terrified of me? I just made my own entrance...
>...Can I have a tub of butter to go?
>This is taking too long. Grab the clerk and throw him to the side and just head to the storeroom if there is one!
>Write-In

>>748938
>I'll have all your hamburgers.
At this point money means nothing.
>Haroldr do you want anything?

"I'll have all your hamburgers, please!"

"S-sure... That'll take a while, though..."

Haroldr chimes in.
"Make it a kids meal, please."

"...What's that? And Haroldr, do you want anything?"

"Sanity, mostly."

"Do they serve that here?"

"Last I checked, no."

You decide to patiently sit in a corner for your burgers with Haroldr.

"So, we're best friends forever still, right? Because you kinda sound angry at me."

"What? No. It's erh... Well... I was sort of hoping it wouldn't get this insane."

Actions.

>Come on, you don't have to be so down.
>I'll turn that frown upside down then. Come on, your traveling with the funinator! Which is me!
>Gee, if your going to be like that I might as well find a new best friend.
>...What, are you jealous I'm eating all the hamburgers? I bet they taste great!
>...Try to appeal to his emotions. Act sad that he's non-emotional.
>Insane? What are you talking about?
>Can I ask you a few questions?
>Write-In

>>748967
>What are you talking about? This is fun. Lets do more stuff like all this!
>So do you know where Mom and Dad are?

"What are you talking about? This is fun! Let's do more stuff like this!"

He shakes his head.

"What's with you and being a letdown..."

"Well, your idea of fun is to run around and do property damage, which I'm indirectly responsible for... At least you aren't trying to do anything to your father's slaves or something."

"Slaves?"

"Erh, forget I said anything. That just... Well, it won't end well."

"Aw... So do you know where Mom and Dad are?"

"Erh, I think they're in Paris or something. It was left vague to me."

"Oh... Where's that?"

"It's on the mainla- Oh goddamn it, we're going there next, aren't we?"

"Well, yeah!"

"C-can we at least spare the Louvre of you destroying it's paintings?"

You laugh tremendously, and a few hamburgers, glazed in butter, come over... And you see they're rather small. The waiter tells you more are coming, and quickly runs off.

"Are they supposed to be this small?"

"Well, I mean, this is large for a human."

"I can eat this in one bite!"

"Erh, well... Can you please just eat?"

Actions

>Be a little bit petty. Eat the burgers. And a little bit of the table.
>Fiineee...
>No! I demand representation! Bigger Burgers for Dragons!
>It's not a problem. I'm not stuck-up about my food at all!
>...Hey uh... What's a slave?
>You know, I might as well go outside and eat all of the employee's cars! How dare they!
>...Just curious... What do you think people taste like? I'm uh... Well, they smell edible, I guess.
>Write-in

>>748988
>Fiiinee..
Time to unsettle him.
>What are slaves?
>Why do people smell edibles. What do they taste like?

"Fiineee..."

You eat the burgers in a single gulp. You don't even feel close to satisfied... But you do admit it does taste good.

"So uh... What are slaves?"

"They're uh... Well, forced labor. Used by your dad, mostly."

"Really?"

"Well... yeah..."

"Huh... And uh... Why do people smell edible? What do they taste like?"

He seems a little unsettled.

"That's a uh.... Very wrong and worrying thing to say, I guess."

Actions.

>...Aw... So it's bad to eat people?
>Your just jealous you can't eat anyone. I bet they taste delicious!
>Can I have my own slave?
>Come on, my dad is cool! His slaves are probably cool as well! Can I have slaves now?
>I was just curious...
>Do you think I should eat a bystander or two outside? I mean, that would make up for me being unable to roar...
>Try to creep him out more by staring at him, licking your mouth, and trying to forcibly get your stomach to growl.
>Write-In

>>749004
>Lick him
>"You do taste edible!"
>So what's my Mom and Dad like?

You lean over, sniff him, and lick him.

"Huh! You do taste edible!"

He is extremely creeped out by this.

"Oh, don't worry. I don't plan on eating you! Your my best friend! So uh... What's my mom and dad like?"

"Well... Erh... Your mom is sort of... Well, she's known for being very ravenously hungry... And eating nearly every British noble, from what I hear."

"People?"

"Well, yes... I think."

"Cool! So WE can eat people!"

"Please don't."

"Yay! I mean, erh... Boo?"

"Your mom is erh... Well, I think is being replaced or something. By some other girl, German-sounding."

"...Replaced?"

"I think, yeah."

"...Huh... So uh, what about my dad?"

"He conquered Norway, and most of Europe. And most people dislike him or just fear him, honestly."

"How could anyone dislike my dad?"

"I'm uh... Let's talk about something else, ok? I"m probably not the best person to talk to about politics."

Actions.

>...So... How can he replace my mom?
>Are you saying I'll have TWO moms?
>Is he nice towards his children? Like, actively takes care of them, go out with them, that sort of thing?
>So uh... Where are you from?
>Let's stop talking about it. It sounds boring.
>...So uh... Why does everyone dislike him according to you?
>Write-In

>>749044
>So uh... Why does everyone dislike him according to you?
>So... How can he replace my mom?
Ren really needs to up his PR.
At this rate renexiza will gain negative feelings on him.

"So uh... Why does everyone dislike him according to you?"

"It's erh... It's not suitable for you. Your too young, ok?"

"Your young yourself!"

"I... I know. I just want to talk about something else, ok? Like erh... How's uh..."

You see that talking to him about why people dislike your dad won't get you anywhere, so you try a different line of questioning.

"So uh... How can he replace my mom?"

"He's gotten a few new ones... And he's disappeared. I mean, seriously. With the amount of children he has, it's obvious he's seeing other women."

"Other women?"

"It's uh... I mean... Come on. Just eat your hamburgers, ok?"

Another plate of hamburgers get put in front of you, which you eat lightening fast.

Actions.

>Come on, we're best friends! You can tell me anything!
>Well... I'll just ask him a BUNCH of questions when I meet him!
>...Now I feel sort of bad... Let's talk about something else...
>How many kids does he have?
>So uh... How would he treat me? I'm sort of curious,
>Write-In

>>749062
>Pout and whimper. With more puppy dog eyes.
This our secret weapon.
He will answer us.

Roll me a 1d20+7 to break him.

Rolled 14 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>749075
Rollan.

14+7=21

Good Success!

You begin to pout... And growl. Which is your form of whimpering... And you try to do watery reptilian eyes as you look at him. He tries looking away... Until he's forced to look back at you. He unleashes a massive sigh.

"Fine... I guess I'll tell you."

"Yay! Do tell!"

"I'm erh... Where do you want to start?"

"Why does everyone dislike my dad?"

"Well... He's erh... He's a brutalistic dictator who enslaves people, has people worship him, tries to make people into half-dragons, and pursues wars just for his own glory with no regard to civilian life..."

"Oh... That doesn't sound so nice."

"...It's not."

"Why does my dad sound so... Well, mean?"

Haroldr just shrugs his shoulders.

"I don't know why."

"So uh... Could you tell me who my dad hangs out with?"

"Somesort of minotaur and a German girl. That's all I really know..."

"Would you care if I asked for your personal opinion on my dad?"

"Well, since I'm probably going to get killed for you recking his wife's home, sure. I dislike hm."

"Why?"

"Besides what I stated? He conquered my country, enslaved some of the people from it, and does nothing about the Yuan Ti besides offer them money..."

"Yuan-Ti?"

"They infested Oslo... They took my brother's manufacturing job away from him and he was forced to move elsewhere to avoid poverty."

"I'm erh... Sorry. I guess."

"It's fine... Just eat your hamburgers, ok?" He seems a little upset. Not enough to have a tear or anything, but somewhat stressed out.

Actions

>...Alright... Sorry.
>I'm sorry about what my dad's done... But he has good intentions hopefully...
>Want a hug?
>Want a hamburger?
>Just saying, you seem a lot nicer then my dad apparently.
>...Why does my dad do that? It just seems mean...
>Did anyone you know get enslaved?
>Now I sort of don't want to find him...
>...So uh... Why wasn't he here when I was born? Or my mom?
>So uh... Do I have any siblings?
>Write-in

>>749126
>Why does my dad do that? It seems mean?
>Why wasn't he here when I was born? Or my mom?
>So do I have any siblings? And how does dad treat them?

"So uh... Why does my dad do that? It seems sort of mean..."

"I have no idea... Let's uh, talk about something else, ok?"

"Well... Why wasn't he here when I was born? Or my mom?"

"I erh... I think I overheard something about helping his brother or something... I don't remember though. Your mom's out with him."

"Oh. So uh... Do I have any siblings? And how does dad treat them?"

"Plenty, and I think decently? Though he tends to ignore them. None of the guards can really remember a time he tried to bond with any of them."

"Oh... I was... I was sort of picturing my dad trying to bond with me or something... Like hanging out a lot... That sort of thing." You feel a little saddened by this. Just a little.

He shifts a little uncomfortably.

"I mean... That doesn't mean he hates you or anything, I think he's just busy..."

Actions.

>...I erh... I don't want to see my dad now. He just seems mean.
>Well... I mean, having a dad who's not really around is fun, I guess.
>Come on, when we meet him I bet we can try to get him to hang out with us a ton!
>Well, I'm different... One way or the other, he'll bond with me!
>I feel kinda sad now.
>...Come on, he'll explain it to us when we meet him.
>...We should try to get him to bond with my brothers and... Erh, sisters maybe? I mean, that seems fun! And rewarding!
>So uh... What are my siblings like?
>Write-in

>>749168
>Well I want to meet them!
>Let's go back to the palace. Maybe they have more food. Then we can go find them. And maybe visit that Louvre place.
and maybe eat some priceless art while we're there

"Well, I want to meet them... But uh, let's go back to the palace! Maybe they have more food! Then we can go find them. And visit that Louvre place. It sounds cool... And totally not tasty."

"So, how much property damage are you going to do this time?"

"I dunno."

The rest of the burgers are brought to you, and you begin eating it... When you see Haroldr take out something with leather, and ask the waiter how much it costed...

Actions.

>Thank the waiter for giving you a good meal... Even if it was a bit small.
>...Your sorta curious. And you sorta want to skip out on the tab. Nom the waiter!
>So uh... What are you doing? I thought food was free here.
>Just wait until he's ready to go!
>...Uh... Crap. Grab the waiter and toss him, and grab Haroldr, and prepare to run for it!
>Shout "Fire!" and breathe ice! While everyone's distracted, run for it!
>Ask the waiter if he'd like to be your slave!
>Write-in

>>749185
>So uh... What are you doing? I thought food was free here.
>Shout "Fire!" and breath ice! While everyone is distracted run for it.

Roll me a 1d20+5 how effective shouting "Fire" is while as a white dragon. Who can't breathe fire. And is covered in buttery paper.

Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>749194
That sounds like a bad dream.
Or a good nightmare.

8+5=13

Minor Failure!

Gonna take a bath anons, so expect a small delay. Also, just curious... Is this a nice change of pace compared to being Renexizious?

You yell "Fire!", grab your friend, and make a run for it. Of course, they put two and two together and yell for you to stop, but you begin rushing back to the palace... After a little bit of stepping on cars, mailboxes, and other pointy stuff, you take a breather... As you turn towards the palace, you see that a few men are trying to patch up the hole you made in the wall... Of course, you could always enter through the front door. Which is locked.

Actions.

>...Maybe you should ask Haroldr if there's any place you can stay at for a while... Or at least long enough to eat, bathe, and get rid of the papers on you.
>Rush the construction crew and re-enter through the library! You already can't wait to have more fun indoors!
>Try to open the front door?
>You'll just head to the docks or something... You can get a ride there!
>Write-In

>>749205
It's fun.
We're playing as a child dragon that so far has shown complete disregard for the property damage she has caused.
But had absolutely no ill intent when causing said damage.
Though things might go south once Ren and Elizabeth come back. Oh well. We're an innocent adorable young dragon.

>Just break down the front door.

Realizing that you'd rather not disrupt the workers, you decide to break down the front door.

By charging it, head on. Haroldr braces for your charge.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to break doors.

Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>749210
When a hole in the wall closes a door gets smashed open.

6+5=11

Great Failure!

You ram up against the door. And you hit your head, denting the wall... And giving you a nasty bump on your head. You are injured slightly from this.

"Oooww... That hurt a lot..."

"You alright?"

"Well, yeah... But I gotta show this door who's boss!" You let out a roar... Which is more or less a squeak.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to show the door who's boss.

Rolled 16 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>749217
>Renexizia's favored enemy: Doors and fortified structures.

16+4=20

Success!

You rip off the hinges and it falls. So of course, you go inside, and see somesort of throne, complete with chalendbra's, suits of black metal holding a long sharp stick, and... Oooh, art. Portraits...

Actions.

>...You gotta relax after demolishing a door! Time for playtime!
>...You smell food! Run towards the kitchen!
>You smell food. Walk calmly towards the kitchen and avoid property damage.
>Even if the throne doesn't fit you, try to sit in it! Your queen now! Rawr!
>...Find some stairs, and see if Haroldr can indeed, surf down it on portraits. Then if they don't break, you try it!
>...Eat the portraits. On accident, of course.
>Write-In

>>749225
>Eat the portraits. On accident, of course.
>Even if the throne doesn't fit you, try to sit on it! Your queen now! Rawr!
Culminating with
>You smell food! Run toward the kitchen.
if we can

Oh boy, trying to max out on destroying your mother's palace.

Roll me a 1d20 for further property damage.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>749231
>Inb4 Nat 1

Failure!

You start eating portraits, which do in fact, taste very good... And that's when you decide to sit on your mother's throne... Which crumples it. After a little while of throwing knights and chalendbra's around, you run towards the kitchen, knocking over servants, a vase or two, and leaving small marks in marble where your claws were. Of course, you find the kitchen... But you also see a pool outside. Enough to fit you at your nose... Hm. But you then turn your attention to the kitchen, and you lick your mouth... And head into the kitchen.

Roll me a 1d20+4 for how lacking the kitchen is now.

Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>749239
If there's nothing here we can try and eat the throne.

19+4=23

Good Success!

You utterly devour the contents of the kitchen, emptying it. However, your stomach is BLOATED to an extreme, but you feel full... And let out a rather nasty burp as you crawl out... After some waiting, your belly begins to no longer look inflated and looks semi-normal, if a bit round... Haroldr however, is attempting to clean up what you've broken so far...

Actions.

>...Go to the pool! You need a bath, since your covered in butter and paper...
>You are rather dirty... Roll around on the floor and try to clean it off!
>You sort of want to see where mom's chamber is. Maybe you can play in there?
>Enough playtime... Your stuffed, and you need to find your parents!
>Try to eat the throne! Even if you sat on it!
>Try to play games with the servants here, like chasing them around and whatnot!
>...You sort of feel like taking a nap after such a meal... Head to the freezer and nap for a while.
>Dig holes for buried treasure throughout the palace!
>Write-In

>>749245
>Go to the pool! You need a bath, since your covered in butter and paper...
>You sort of want to see moms chamber. Maybe you can play in there?
Then we can start digging for treasure
Then!
After this then we can begin the search.

Also OP would you mind giving another damage estimate?

About $4,500,000 USD. $500,000 was from the kitchen.

You go to the pool... And calmly step in. You notice that the butter and paper comes off, and you roll around for a bit, breaking the edges of the pool a bit but nothing more. You step out, and notice the pool is... Well, it's dissolved the paper and butter covering you!
This smells of magic... And you see a few runes dotted around the pool. Huh.

Actions.

>...There's only one thing to do then... Cannonball!
>Drink a ton of the water, but hold in your mouth, run inside, and start trying to spray water everywhere!
>Freeze the water with your breath!
> Try to drink the water!
>...It's kind of soothing. Get into it and relax.
>...Break the runes!
>Aw... Search for mom's chambers then...
>Write-in

This is possibly the best welcome-home present ever.

>>749252
>Drink a ton of water but hold it in your mouth. Then spray it all in mom's chambers

And I assume haroldr is just crying in a corner?

At this point, probably.

You drink tons of the water... Which starts to go back into the pool somehow, and you take the water in your mouth, and try to find your mom's room... After a bit of searching and going up stairs, you find your mom's room, and in shock you spit your water everywhere. A ton of water soaks through the room, and you hear the floorboards crackle... And slightly collapse, with your mother's bed hitting the first floor, along with other previous jewelry, Which you eat, and you of course, squish your mom's bed. This is fun!

Of course, that leaves the pool... Which you go towards...

Actions.

>Break the runes!
>Drink the water until it's all gone!
>...Cannonball! Yay!
>Freeze the water!
>Just relax in it.
>...You need to find something to pollute it... Maybe some of your mom's makeup and other things could work?\
>Nah. You like pools. Try to find TREASURE!
>Write-In

File: download (21).jpg (11 KB, 275x183)

11 KB JPG

>>749256
Oh so the pool has magic acid water.
>Start spraying the water everywhere.
This water is fun as shit.

Roll me a 1d20+6 for supersoaking your mom's palace.

Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>749260
Soaking it up.

Minor Success!

You spray water everywhere! Soaking people, objects, everything! After a bit though, the water begins shutting off... Aw... So of course, you begin searching for treasure while Haroldr just glares at you in a corner, drinking somesort of drink, which smells funny. He also talks a little funny...

Roll me a 1d2d0+4 to finalize destroying your mom's palace.

Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>749264
This is how you break in a house.

File: download (15).jpg (7 KB, 249x202)

7 KB JPG

>>749266
That's not good.
That's not good at all.

You fail to even penetrate carpet with your claws. You are a little disappointed, but the palace is nearly unsalvagable. You of course, finish it off by eating everything valuable left, and you slump in a corner, full, bloated, and tired...

This is fun!

Until of course, you hear something creaking from below. As you look down, some of the soggy floorboards begin to give way to your weight...

Roll me a 1d20 to dodge!

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>749269
DODGE!

You barely get out of the way in time as the floorboards collapse, and you pant, out of breath...

"This is fun! Woo!"

Of course, all fun times have to end, so you begin to take your leave with the funny-smelling Haroldr...

PoV shift anons?

>Remain as Renexiza and her travel to Paris!
>Go back to Renexizious!
>Viktorious!
>Charlemagne!

I'm passing out now, by the way anons.
Sorry.

>>749272
>Go back to Renexizious.

So yeah looks like renexiza is not the quit type.
>>749274
That's fine I needed rest anyways.
Night OP.

Giving a bump for later!

Final bump. Writing in a hour or so if no one else responds,

You are now Renexizious!

You take a deep breath of air. This date is going well enough, you suppose. Both of you are nerding out somewhat about Romans or whatnot, while everyone looks on to the two of you somewhat confused.

"So, I'm done eating. Want to go now?"

"You are?"

"Well, yes."

"Did you like dinner?"

"Of course I did. Thank you for it, Ren."

Actions.

>Come on, let's stay a bit longer, ok?
>...Wanna tumble right here, right now?
>Come on, we'll do and see more things...
>Eh, the food is subpar... Let's leave before someone asks for us to pay for it.
>Write-In

Jeez, no anons alive today.

Bumping and waiting for a response.

>>749850
>Come on, we'll do and see more things...


We should go see a film, people like films. Not to mention them selling butter covered popcorn... Anyhow, continue the date!

"Come on, we should go see a film... I mean, that sounds nice..."

You briefly remind yourself that cinemas often sell butter-covered popcorn... Elizabeth of course gets up and the two of you leave, paying for your meal... Which hurts your already rather small wallet of United States dollars...

You take her to a cinema, and pay for a ticket, and two tubs of popcorn... Then you decide on what film to take her to...

Roll me a 1d20+4. If anons want to, feel free to come up with a film.

Anons?

Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>749976
Comedy(1), action(2) or horror(3).


>>750054
Sorry, was busy.

Horror? Huh. Seems like the dice gods like tradition.

Now roll pls.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>750067
1D20 right?

10+4=14

Borderline Success!

Elizabeth watches it with you, but doesn't seem so scared. Rather, she claims that it's "rather tame" to what you've seen, even if the graphics have never been seen before, or it's in color, etc... You leave with Elizabeth, having enjoyed (Though not embraced or loved) the movie.

"Could be better... Who was directing it, honestly? I barely understood anything!" She says.

Actions

>Come on, I'll make it up to you with some good-old-fashioned tumbling.
>Who said we were done? Let's watch another movie!
>Grh... Well, want to do something as a dragon?
>...I feel like we should spend some time trying to get power here. Just saying.
>Let's head home, I'm tired of being in this strange dimension...
>...Try to scare her?
>Write-In

>>750163
>...Try to scare her?

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you can scare her. Additional +2 for possible scary things to do to her.

Rolled 2 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>750285
Can't think of any that wouldn't result in us getting hurt.

Well, with your rolls, you might want to do so.

Samefagging allowed for now, anons.

Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>750322
By the power of greyskull, I have the rolls!

>>750342
This is getting ridiculous.

Nope.

3+3=6

Amazing Failure!

You try to sneak up behind your wife... And you trip, slamming into your wife's buttocks. She turns around, and looks, glaringly at you.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"...Trying to be sneaky."

"Well, stop doing it. People might think your perverted or something."

"I'm not perverted..."

"Heh, NOT with the stuff I've seen. But I suppose marrying a dragon is also a touch perverted in a sense."

"...Come on, what I do in bed isn't that perverted." You say, as you begin to get up. She begins laughing heavily.

"If this wasn't on a sidewalk, I'd remind you."

"...Besides, who said marrying a dragon was perverted? It's perfectly normal."

She begins laughing as the two of you walk down the sidewalk.

"So, if I didn't know any better I'd say your trying your best to make up for your lack of tumbling skills earlier."

Actions.

>Come on, no I'm not. (Truth or Lie)
>Well, of course I am.
>...I'm trying to get a SECOND tumble in, ok?
>...Is it working or not?
>Come on, I'm not a pervert... Not in a million years.
>Write-in

Bumpity Bump.

>>750458
>Come on, no I'm not. (Truth)
>Write-in
"If I wanted to do that, I'd take you back to the other dimension for a session of loving."

"Come on, no I'm not. If I wanted to do that, I'd take you back to the other dimension for a session of loving."

"I see, well... Anyways..."

The two of you begin chatting some more, when the two of you come across a rather fancy jewelry store... Your wife does indeed, seem tempted.

"...You know, I wonder if they have any rubies..."

"Erh, Elizabeth?"

"Hm?"

"You want some jewelry?"

"Well, jewelry's always nice. But right now I'm curious if they have any rubies, mostly so I can complete a collection."

"Collection?"

"Well, I have a collection of gems and crystals at home... Which I enjoy looking at through a microscope."

"Ah, right."

"Anyways, when we aren't busy I'll probably come back to buy some... Now, onto something else... Firstly, have you noticed something?"

"What?"

"Well, nearly every young person we pass who's looking at their bright glowing rectangle thing hasn't even so much as looked at us. And if we run into them, they don't even apologize..."

"What's the problem here?"

"I mean, I'm used to people having SOME sort of manners."

"Is this a personal rant?"

"...Erh, not a rant. But an observation, really."

Actions.

>Well... You don't think there's mind control or something going on, do you?
>It's just how the youth acts, dear. Let's continue on...
>...I see. Well, I'll make sure to get confrontational if we encounter anymore of them again. Which should be easy enough.
>...You know, why don't I get you some jewelry?
>...Maybe we should get one of those rectangle things. I'm curious in what they are.
>...We're from a different age, you know. For all we know they could use telepathy to apologize or something.
>That's just you being used to being around the Brits. The American's are much more blunt.
>I feel old. Great.
>...Let me guess, we're going to solve this by making America a colony again?
>Write-In

>>750630
>...I see. Well, I'll make sure to get confrontational if we encounter anymore of them again. Which should be easy enough.
>...We're from a different age, you know. For all we know they could use telepathy to apologize or something.
>...Maybe we should get one of those rectangle things. I'm curious in what they are.
>Well... You don't think there's mind control or something going on, do you?

"Well, I see. Well, I'll make sure to get confrontational if we encounter any more of them... You don't think it's mind control, right?"

"It could be?"

"Hm... Well on one hand we're from a different age, so for all we know they could use telepathy. But I think we should get one of those rectangle things. I'm curious."

"Well, I'll follow your lead."

Actions.

>...Why don't you shapeshift a little? People will for sure notice that.
>...Mug a rectangle user!
>Try to find a store that sells the glowing rectangles?
>...Grab a rectangle-user and try to get them to pay attention to you!
>...Nah, this will come later.
>...Find the nearest rectangle user and defend your wife's honor with fisticuffs!
>Write-In

>>750738
>...Grab a rectangle-user and try to get them to pay attention to you!
>...Why don't you shapeshift a little? People will for sure notice that.

>>750630
>A collection of gems and crystals at home.
Well oops.
She is in for a bad surprise.
>>750802
I am not even sure we can shapeshift but supporting.

"Hey uh, Liz? Why don't you shapeshift a little?"

"Erh, why?"

"Well, I can't. But we should get their attention somehow."

"Ren, I think you can do that as a normal human without my help."

Actions.

>...Come on, pleeeease? I love it when you shapeshift...
>It's not full-blown dragon form.. Just half-dragon form.
>Come on, imagine the looks on their faces!
>...If you do it, I'll buy you some jewelry.
>Fine, I guess...
>Sigh, and grab a nearby rectangle user!
>Write-In

>>750931
>Sigh and grab a nearby rectangle user.
Sorry rectangle user.

Roll me a 1d20 for luck. First roll only though. please.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>750947
Rollan

16

Success!

You sigh, and go to grab the nearest guy... Who seems to be a businessman.

"Erh, what do you want? Can you get your hands off my suit? I'm trying to text a friend that I'll be late for work."

"Erh, text?"

"Well, of course. The office's phones are down."

Actions.

>...What the fuck is a text?
>Let go and apologize. He needs it or something.
>...Can I borrow it?
>What exactly is that rectangle thing?
>I'll pay you if you let me have that.
>...Punch him in the gut!
>...Liz, could you be a dear and shapeshift?
>Write-In
>Write-In

>>750966
>What the fuck is a text?
>What exactly is that rectangle thing.
This makes me realize we really need to get on that internet creation thing.

"Erh, what the fuck is a text?"

"It's a message you send using letters over the phone."

"Phone? You mean telephone."

"Erh, sure. It's a cellphone."

You seem confused, clearly.

"It's erh, not a landline. Is it a radio?"

"No? It's a phone."

The man gives you a rather strange look, clearly confused by your confusion.

"How don't you know what this stuff is?"

You shrug your shoulders...

Actions.

>...Thank him and walk off.
>...Punch him! That phone will be yours!
>...Grab his phone!
>Can I borrow it?
>I'll pay you if you give me it.
>Write-In

>>750985
>I'll pay you if you give it to me.
We have gold coins on us right?
We should also try to buy some computers.

"Listen, I'll pay you if you give it to me, ok?"

"Listen, I got t-"

You take out a small purse of gold coins, and open it slightly. He looks at it greedily, and you take out three golden coins, bearing the symbol of Bretonnia.

"I'll pay you... Oh, seven of these, if you give me your phone."

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if he takes it, turns it down, or tries to haggle.

>>750985
>Write-In
"Long story, I am guessing you missed the story about the dragon on the news? I'm involved and don't know anything about modern tech."


>>750995
We should also see about getting some chemistry, Biology, Physics and other scientific books. If we can just shortcut our nations development all the way to carbon-fibre, advanced plastics, light, powerful computers and other such advances then we can perform a space race with America and win instantly or do anything else we want.

Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>751003

18+4=22

Good Success!

The businessman is easily tempted, and he takes the seven gold coins and runs off, and hands you his phone... And tells you the password. You begin trying to figure out how this works...

Roll me a 1d20+8 for decoding how a cellphone works.

Rolled 20 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>751028
We shall into tech.

Critical Success!

In a matter of minutes, you figure out how a phone works with ease, and even manage to figure out how to dissemble and reassemble it... You of course, don't know HOW to assemble the electronic parts or what they do, but you do know how to make a rudimentary cellphone you could try to make back home as an idea... Not to mention you get a very, very basic idea of what artificial intelligence is, and what it can do.

Of course, this makes you rather inspired...

Actions.

>...You need MORE inspiration. Head to a bookstore!
>...Maybe this "wikipedia" thing can help you... You just need to figure out some stuff...
>...You need a base of operations for some research. You have plenty of ingenious ideas...
>There's only one way to fuel creativity. Head to a sci-fi bookstore.
>Eh, this can wait. Your with your wife...
>Write-In

>>751050
>Head to a bookstore
We need to get books on the sciences and such as we can.

You begin to go into a nearby bookstore, and you notice you've finally run out of USD. So your forced to buy with your remaining twelve gold coins... Of course, you leave with two shopping carts worth of books, and missing four gold coins... At this point, you decide to purcahse a computer at a nearby electronics store...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can haggle for one...

Rolled 3 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>751077
They won't get all our shekels!

Rolled 11 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>751077

11+4=15

Minor Failure!

You of course bargain for it... But it comes to a standstill. He apparently wants more, and you lack enough to actually afford the computer... Or, at least a decent one. The clerk offers you a rather old computer, ancient really... In exchange for only 6 coins.

Actions.

>...Eh, a shitty computer is good enough. Take it.
>You have one at home. Leave.
>Laugh... And have Liz Shapeshift. You want a discount.
>...Leave. And then plan on how to steal it.
>Write-In

>>751094
Mention that we can probably just find some computer store that's less stingy to take fucking gold coins that are probably actually worth more than the computer we asked for.

>>751094
>Write-In
Ask how old it is.

"You know, I probably can find a store that's less stingy to take fucking gold coins then a computer."

"You asked for our latest and biggest model, with the mos-"

"And? That amny gold coins?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to know how much gold is worth? I'm clerk! Pay in dollars or something."

"Grh... How old is the computer your offering me?"

"I think ten years old. Windows ninety six operating software, the works, really."

Actions.

>Find another place!
>...Fine. I'll do it.
>Come on, these coins are shiny...
>Don't worry, I can get an expert in.
>Do you have a manager?
>Try to intimidate him!
>Please? Come on, I have to give it to someone for their birthday...
>Write-in

>>751121
>Write-in
I am going to go check what another store will offer me. If it is better I shan't return, otherwise I'll be back.

>>751121
>Do you have a manager
>Can't you like. Search it on a computer or something. I think they can do that.

"Can't you look it up?"

"I don't have a weight or anything. I don't even know if it's real gold..."

"Do you have a manager?"

"Well, yeah."

"...I'm going to check out another store and if they'll offer me more. If not, I'll be back."

You storm out the door...

Actions.

>...You need to convert this gold into USD. Maybe there's a pawnbroker or something around here...
>...You have a ton of books. You should start reading them, though it'll take a while... (PoV shift while you learn!)
>Your getting a fancy huge computer one way or the other. Your breaking in!
>...This isn't worth it. Just don't do anything.
>Find a better store!
>Write-In

>>751147
>Find a better store!

>>751147
>Find a better store!

You try to find a better store. Roll me a 1d20+4

Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>751163
>Places with affordable high performance PCs
>Results:Nowhere.

19+4=23

Good Success!

You find a place selling a rather cheap high-end computer, apparently the last owner of it died or something, and you buy it off of him for the last of your money...

This leaves you broke, homeless, and with two shopping carts with your wife, but at least you have things.

Actions.

>You have NO MONEY. Head back to the library and head back home...
>Eh, you'll find a place to stay for a while.
>...So? You'll get started right here, right now! Begin reading!
>Write-in

>>751181
>You have NO MONEY. Head back to the library and head home.

You realize you seriously lack money, and so you begin the trek homewards with your wife...

PoV switch anons?

>Continue as Renexizious!
>Renexizia and her attempt to go to Paris!
>Viktorious
>Charlemagne!

>>751218
>Continue as Renexizious
I really want to see their reactions when their child is missing.

After a little while, you cross through the portal... And realize you can in fact, shapeshift again!

Which you do so immediately, and start flying homeward with Elizaabeth... Of course, the trip is rather long, and eventually you set down by the Ducal Palace around midnight, utterly exhausted... And you haul the books inside, along with the computer.

"Fuck... I'm tired."

Your wife gives you a nice kiss on the cheek.

"Well, it was fun being bigger then you while it lasted... Now if you need me, I'm passing out."

"Same."

You note that Fenrir and Flames aren't really responding, but your too tired to really care yet.

What bed to sleep in, anons?

>...Try to will yourself to stay awake! You must read those books!
>...Take me with you! Bed's are comfortable.
>...Up for a tumble? Please?
>...You haven't spent much time at all around Frankizka. Do so.
>...Constaniza probably is alone. She could use company...
>...See if your brother minds if you sleep in his bed.
>...Chrysoula? Flames would like it.
>Write-In

>>751263
>Take me with you! Bed's are comfortable.

"Come on, take me with you!"

"Sure..."

The two of you quickly pass out in bed, resting next to each other, cuddling. After a bit you wake up, and try to get out of bed... With your wife holding onto you. So of course, you carefully slip out, and grab breakfast... You do note that the usually shy and nervous Constaniza isn't there, after talking a little bit with Richard, so you set about a day of lazing about, relaxing. It isn't until later that you decide to DO something...

Actions.

>You should talk to your brother.
>...Eh, your brother can handle this place. Tell him that you and your wives are leaving soon.
>...More time with Elizabeth!
>...Your kind of curious where Constaniza's gone. Try to find her!
>You should travel out to your refinery...
>You haven't spent any time with Frankizka at all! Talk to her!
>Chrysoula? You've talked to her a little bit, try it more!
>...You need SOMETHING to do. And you've run out of money. Time to loot a little bit...
>...Laze about. Nothing to do that interests you enough. (PoV Switch)
>Write-in

>>751314
>Eh, your brother can handle this place. Tell him that you and your wives are leaving soon.
>Your kind of curious where Costanza's gone. Try to find her!

You leave a note on a table, telling your brother that your leaving soon, and you decide to try and find Constaniza... Who you find in her room, looking lonely.

"Renexizious? Hi."

"Hi Constaniza. Everything alright?"

"I'm alright, I guess.... It's uh... I'm kind of wanting to go home."

Knowing full well this could be a conversation, you take a seat next to her.

"Why?"

"Well... I just... I miss home. I mean, being friends with y-"

"Correction, a couple."

"That's your idea... I never wanted that in the first place..."

"Come on, it's a great idea..."

"I'm only going along since we're friends... Ok?"

"I know, I know... So, you feel lonely at all?"

"The only person I know here is you, and that's it... I haven't seen you for a while, either. Everything alright?"

"Oh, yeah. Great."

"Anyways... I'm sort of missing Raghilda... Everyone else is so strange here, honestly..."

Actions

>Oh, don't worry.... We'll go back.
>...Wait, you don't even have an interest in me? Why? Seriously?
>Sorry, but your coming with me to my dimension.
>...Are we just friends forever? I mean, I wanted to be more then that.
>If you want, the two of us can go on an adventure or something... I guess...
>Huh. If you want, I can get you some friends.
>Oh. Nice to see your alright. See you!
>Write-In

>>751360
>Huh. I have some people you might be able to be friends with in my dimension.
She can meet Claw.
And Claw probably won't do anything because he'll just get Insta-Friendzoned.

"Huh. Well, I have some people you might be able to be friends with in my dimension..."

"I just uh, want to be in this one. Sorry."

"Why?"

"I mean, I already Raghilda here as my friend...."

Actions.

>...Come on, if you come I'll pay more attention to you, ok?
>I can bring you Raghilda then!
>Kiss her?
>I'll miss you... But I guess you can stay...
>How are you and Raghilda friends? I'm curious.
>Slowly caress her?
>Write-in

>>751404
>I'll miss you.. But I guess you can stay
>How are you and raghilda friends? I'm curious.

"I'll miss you... But I guess you can stay here."

"Really? Well, thanks. Sorry I'm not going with you to.. . Well, wherever your going."

"It's fine... It's fine. Just curious, how are yo and Raghilda friends?"

"She helped me and my family out of a rough spot or two when I as young, you know... I'll tell you more when you come back, ok?"

"Is this my cue to leave?"

"I mean, you can stay if you want... I just thought you were a bit busy.

Actions.

>You can visit me any time you want, you know.
>...Can I have a hug? I'll miss you.
>Come on, someday you'll love being with me.
>Tell Raghilda I love both of you equally...
>Please? Can you please come with me?
>Frown slightly at her leaving you...
>Write-In

Sorry anon, but I'm taking a nap here.

>>751445
>Can I have a hug? I'll miss you.
Ok OP later.

One last update before my nap.

"Can I have a hug? I'll miss you..."

"Well... I guess..."

You give her a hug, and she squirms a little, uncomfortably.

"Your hugging a little hard. Can you let go, please?"

"Just a minute longer, ok?"

"I guess..."

Actions.

>Your dad taught you to never leave a woman untumbled! Go in for the tumble?
>...Time to play the sympathy card and beg her to stay with you... Tears may be a little necessary. (You know she's rather vulnerable to this.)
>Try to kiss her?
>Hug her and let go... Then leave.
>...I'll visit you soon, ok? I just have to make sure my Empire is alright.
>Write-In

>>751472
>I'll see you again soon. Bye costaniza.

Back anons.

"I'll see you again soon, Constaniza."

You say, as you begin to get up off the bed, and leave her. You walk out of the room, kind of saddeneed.

Actions

>You CAN'T let her go. Try to make this an extremely welcoming enviroment...
>You should take her down... And maybe ask Raghilda if she wants to come with you?
>Visit one of your other wives?
>Time to leave this dimension for now...
>You should visit that refinery, maybe they have some oil you can drink so you can burn down the swamp...
>Write-In

Bumping.

>>751734
>You should visit that refinery. Maybe they have oil that you can drink to burn down the swamp.
We should at least tie that up before leaving.

You decide to visit your refinery, and you begin to fly off towards it.

After a little while of flying, you set down... And you see the castle of your jeste- You mean, the local lord being besieged. And losing quite handedly... If you chose to, you could interrupt this battle, or just continue on... Or take a more roguish option and attack the untouched town...

Actions.

>Land INSIDE the castle. You'll give your jester a chance to come with you after all.
>Land in the middle of the battlefield to interrupt the siege battle!
>...Siege? Wealthy town? Loot! Land in the town and begin pillaging!
>Grit your teeth and continue to the refinery...

>>751809
>Land in the middle of the battlefield to interrupt the siege battle!

You decide to land in the middle of the siege battle inbetween the Bretonnians and the Imperials... Who you notice, are rather ill-equiped for battle... And you notice they are marines, rather then actual soldiers.

The Marines come to a stop, noticing you easily... And cheer.

"The dragon's come to help us!" one soldier cries.

"Huzzah!" They cry out, inspired by your presence.

Actions.

>Sigh, and tell them your here to actual STOP them from attacking.
>Nom the imperial soldier.
>Erh, right! Follow me into the breach!
>...Look disappointed, like a father who's children just destroyed their palace.
>I may help... Is there butter inside?
>Write-In

>>751836
>Look disappointed, like a father who's children just destroyed their palace.
I see what you did there.
still worth it though

Roll me a 1d20+6 to show how disappointed you are. Additional +2 if you can do things which show how disappointed you are.

Rolled 2 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>751846
Do the slow head shake with our eyes closed then Sigh

2+8=10

Amazing Failure!

"I am deeply disappointed in all of you."

They look confused, so you shake your head and sigh.

"Erh, what?"

"Why are you attacking this castle?"

"Because it's the enemy? And we have orders to?" One of the guards says

Great. There goes the act of being disappointed and guilt tripping them or something.

Actions

>No talking back young man! What would your mother think?
>...So, why do you need this castle?
>Can you at least give me a minute to get my jester out from there, please?
>...Purify it in fire!
>Give them a lecture or something.
>Nom a soldier for talking back.
>If you all leave, I'll make sure they surrender peacefully, ok?
>Write-In

>>751871
>So why do you need this castle?
>Can you at least give me a minute to get my jester out from there?

"So, why do you need this castle?"

"It gives us a natural harbor into Southern Bretonnia, m'lord!"

"Ah... Well, give me a moment to get my jester out from this castle."

The assault is held back as you go up to the castle, and peer over the walls...

"I'd like to see the local lord, please." you say to the guards... After a little bit, you see the doors to the estate majestically open slowly... And hear a baa.

You look down, and see a sheep with a helmet half-hazardly put on it's head, along with a cape. A few men begin talking to themselves, muttering that the lord's a coward or something... The sheep of course waddles around for a little bit, as you watch, somewhat entertained by the sheep with a helm over it's head and a cape.

Actions.

>...Enough of this tomfoolery. Ask where the lord is.
>...Ooh, a snack! Eat it!
>...Growl angrily. You want to see your jester.
>Laugh at the silly display infront of you. A sheep with a helmet over it's head?
>...Ask a few of the guards for butter. You love coming here already.
>How sweet, another pet! Grab the sheep and put him on your back.
>Write-In

>>751899
>Laugh
>So where's the local lord?
This guy is too funny to let go.

You laugh entertained, disturbing some of the men.

"So, where's the local lord?"

You notice the... What the utter fuck. You notice the one peasant you got from the lord... You completely forget his name, but somehow he escaped slavery and came back to the castle... And seems to smell decent.

"He had a cunning plan with my help, m'lord."

"...Aren't you supposed to be with me?"

"I had a cunning plan too, my lord."

"What was it?"

"Walk out of the gates, pretending I am a peasant."

"Aren't you already one?"

"That's the cunningness of it, m'lord!"

"Truly... Cunning indeed. So where is he?"

"He told me not to tell you, as he said he'd be hiding like a "little boy would from a pack of wolves", m'lord."

"Where is that?"

"Have you tried the water closet?"

Actions.

>...Thank you for helping me, I guess. Try to find the water closet...
>Wait a minute... You escaped being enslaved! Your coming with me, peasant who's name I can't remember!
>...Wait a minute, a cunning plan that works... Your the lord, aren't you?
>Grab the peasant and put him on your back. He'll serve you well.
>...So uh, what's the goat then? I'm a little confused by this.
>Write-In

>>751913
>Wait a minute, a cunning plan that works... your the Lord aren't you?
This guy is hilarious too.

This would make a good black and white comedy motion picture with no audio.
I forgot what those were.

Silent films?

"Wait a minute, a cunning plan that works... Your the lord, aren't you?"

"Me? The lord?" He scoffs a little.

"I could tell so easily! The original... Well, peasant, was taken by me! AND I LOCKED THE GATES!"

"Erh... Well..."

"Well, want to come with me? You won't get killed when the Imperials get through the fortress."

"...Erh, well..."

Actions.

>Let him decide on his own.
>...Did I mention they'd kill you and your family in nasty ways?
>He doesn't have a choice in this, grab him!
>You'd be made an honorary slave... I mean, honorary servant...
>Please? We need good comedy.
>...Threaten him!
>Describe to him a plethora of ways that he could get killed by the Marines.
>Write-In

>>751928
Yes those.
>Please? We need good comedy.
>Plus you won't get brutally murdered by Marines if you come with me.

"Please? I need good comedy for me and my wives... And you won't get brutally murdered by marines if you come with me."

"Well, you never know... I could have a chance to beat them back..."

"Right... Until they breach and kill you all."

"Ah, right... Well..."

"Please?"

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if he's willing to become your jester... Additional +2 if you can give a job description on pay, hours, probabilities of him getting killed, etc...

Or you know, charm him or threaten him.

Rolled 9 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>751951
>Hours
He'll be at or Beck and call for comedy from 9-5.
What he does in his free time we don't care.
>Pay
You won't exactly be rolling in money but you'll have a comfortable life. As you'll be living in my palace pay and housing can be arranged for.
>Probability of him getting killed
Lower than if he stays here.

9+7=16

"Well, you'll be at my beck and call for comedic relief from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon, and I don't really care what you do in your freetime... You won't be rolling in money, but you'll be pretty comfy, and chances are you won't get killed."

He looks... Well, tempted.

"...By the Lady, I can't believe I'm doing this... Well, I was going to die one way or the other..."

"One way or the other?"

"In-laws were coming over soon. And my wife was angry at me for getting my horse some jewelry."

"...Your horse has jewelry?"

"It's a recent fad. Now, come on, get me out of here before my wife or in-laws get here! And take my horse!"

After an hour, you struggle to carry the jewel-ridden horse in your feet as you fly off towards your refinery with your new jester... Begruding jester, no less. So of course, you set down at the refinery.

Flame?

...Huh? What?

Oh hey! Your back!

Yeah... Uh, what happened?

I'll tell you later... Can you drink some oil for me though?

...How much? He says, somewhat execited.

...Oh, about three silos worth.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Just don't crumple them like a beer can, ok?

Fine...

Flames begins chugging oil down... And after plenty of drinking of the black fluid, you rest on the ground with a notiable bulge in your stomach... Oil apparently is a good way to add weight...

That was great... Got any more?

Sorry, but no.

Aww... Well... I'm going back to sleep. Thanks for the tasty oil.

You nod your head, and begin flying back to the swamp with a slight stomach... When you get overhead, you wake Flames up against to lay down the fire...

Roll me a 1d20+12 for how devastating this will be.

Rolled 17 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>751976
Rolling for high grade arson.