Oh shit nigger(s) it's the aftermath of Civ Thing and all the tribes who inhabitited the nondescript generic fantasy land has all been enslaved (in varying degrees) by The Kingdom ruling the aforementioned nondescript generic fantasy land.Now they must either accept their fate or break out and free their own tribe. Other tribes optional.Your current protagonist is a Dragon, who like many dragons after her tribe's enslavement, is made into slaves. No loner the proud, powerful and greedy bullies they once were in the tribal days.Currently you're in the middle of another day of hard labour. What do?Roll 1d100, who gets the highest number is the picked action.Previous threads:http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2Ahttps://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>741672Swear to never punch yourself in the face
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>741672claw yourself in the face
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>741672Punch self in face
>>741673Yeah sure okay.
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>741676Claw self in face instead.
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>741676do it anyway
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>741676Check out where the other dragons are
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>741681What is that guard doing here
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>741681Smear you blood all over you Use that to intimidate the gaurd
How the fuck does this shit still exists?
>>741684Because this is 4chanSomeone isn't going to stop posting because people hate them
>>741684How does this board still exist? I dunno, probably magic.
>>741683"...get back to work"
>>741687This board exist because a mod wanted to keep /tg/ pureBut when I look back on it,we were shitting up the placeBut hiro is probably going to delete this board after he deletes /po/
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>741688Clawing myself and smearing blood everywhere is not a phase thing, okay?CRAWLING IN MY SCALESTHESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAUAUAL
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>741688Don't
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>741688Smear more bloodDragon blood dosen't lose its pigment when it dries and is in always silky smooth
>>741690wait what's wrong with origami
>>741694It's the slowest board that exists
>>741691"Oh please, you're a dragon so those wounds will probably heal. Now be a good girl and get back to work"
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>741700Start liftin
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>741700But I'm a special dragon,born with fuck you strong fire breath but no regen factor
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>741700check your quota list of daily labour
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>741707think about why you are not the prettiest slave female dragon of whereeveryouareyou know, all those stupid girl concerns
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>741707Claw him in the face
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>741707Get that crate to where it's headed already
Wh-...Not even 50 posts in and our character is wearing blackface...
>>741711but blood is not black, unless dragon blood is black, but it is sometimes green too
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>741707Smear more blood over yourself Many other dragons now realize that making you the brood mother after the messiah was a mistake
>>741711It's only black because everything is in monochrome. Just pretend it's actually really dark red
>>741672Orks represent. What we having?
>>741715...anon I'm sorry... The orcs have no more chances
>>741717I know, I was in last thread. We're still having Love-Love Orc Chan Spin-Off right?
>>741718But love-love Orc chan is played by a human
>>741708And it's all because of Slytha, that bitch"That one? That one with the flower on her head? Doesn't look that different to me"Ugh, men
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>741721Seduce the guard
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>741721Tell him she's a bitchThe messiah has only one lover, and it's you
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>741720everyone is sans Dragons and Elves you inbred>>741721Wait we're a girl? Check our sex parts
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>741721> Chastize this intolerant shitlord for contributing to the horrors of patriarchy and female [dragon] oppression...
>>741723Ah yes. And how would you, a dragon, seduce this human guard?A. Romantic candle lit dinner under the full moonB. Invite him into you slave caveC. Knock him out then invite him into your slave caveD. Ask nicelyE. Wink repeatedly while nudging him with your elbowF. Tell him to check his privilegeG. Something else
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>741728ESurely this will not backfire in any possible way
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>741728> F. Tell him to check his privilege (As grating and obnoxiously as you can)
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>741728G
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>741728 C. Knock him out then invite him into your slave cave
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>741728C.
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>741728>AWere edgy but not an SJW
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>741728>C. Knock him out then invite him into your slave caveThose kingdom fuckers don't know about being gentle with ladies at all, so pay in the same money
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>741729And now, as always, roll 2d100. First number is pickings, second then have to be higher then my shitty one
Rolled 29, 7 = 36 (2d100)>>741738>83we ded
Rolled 47, 33 = 80 (2d100)>>741738Rolling...
Rolled 10, 20 = 30 (2d100)>>741738It's not like anything bad will happen if we fail
Rolled 73, 24 = 97 (2d100)>>741738Nice roll, OP
Rolled 45, 63 = 108 (2d100)>>741738"wanna sLAY this dragon?"
Rolled 64, 48 = 112 (2d100)>>741738>>741739>>741740>>741741>>741742>>741743OH god>>741738
RIP generic dragon
Rolled 17, 23 = 40 (2d100)>>741738
>>741742"Ah yes, I see. Yes, I'm sure you're a very pretty dragon...now get back to work. Carry that block to over there"
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>741748Oh yes, i love being ordered around by your strong presence, mr.guard~
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>741748Go with Plan CIt'll work, I promise
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>741748B...baka
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>741748You can't tell me what to do! Your not my REAL broodmother!
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>741748>Carry the hell out of that rock. Show off your ass to the guard as you go...
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>741748Shout out that this guard just raped you
>>741755And so you did.He'll fall for you.Eventually.Probably.
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>741761Go beat the shit out of that other female dragon with the rock you're carrying
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>741761Watch Syltha closely while we work.We'll get some dirt on that slut, one way or another.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>741761hiss at Slytha while you are at it
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>741761That guard does not deserve youGo impress the king instead
>>741761Yep. Those are the eyes of a man who has a very confused boner...
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>741771SMASH HER HEAD IN WITH A ROCK
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>741771Look at her, she dosen't even wear make-up.Spread some lies, make the other dragons and guards hate her.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>741771Go back to guard and present our best lewdest face while telling him "all done g-guard-sama" in like a breathless, dtf voice
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>741771well, a slave gotta slavewhat were we building again?
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>741771>>741777Yeah I like to know too.
>>741774Alright, roll 2d100 to see your slander outcome1-59: no effect60-79: some effect80-100: great effect
Rolled 47, 33 = 80 (2d100)>>741779Rolling...
Rolled 43, 57 = 100 (2d100)>>741779"Her hoarded gold....were fake!"
Rolled 38, 67 = 105 (2d100)>>741779
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>741779We'll show that fucking bitch who's boss
Rolled 78, 20 = 98 (2d100)>>741779BIIIIITCH
Rolled 97, 18 = 115 (2d100)>>741779
Rolled 56, 8 = 64 (2d100)>>741779>>741783fug
>>741785>18"Pffft, you be lyin"Your slander didn't have any effect
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>741789Fine. Just look at her anus next time. I bet the gap is bigger than yours, pussy.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>741789Continue with your campaign of lies, this time with another dragon, you are bound to succeed this time, it's the rule of odds!
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>741789>Starting loudly crying like some kind of giant, scaly attention whore
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>741789Fug.Plan B.Stalk Slytha to see if he has any dirty secrets.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>741789Spy on herShe MUST have a skeleton in her closet
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>741789go back to seducing our Guard,
>>741790"Yeah?! Well I have you know that my anus is very well-experienced! No way she can beat me!""That's nothing to brag about, you gigantic scaly faggot"
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>741800go back to work like didn du nuthin gud girl slave
>>741800Stalk mode : engaged
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>741800Go check her yourself, then!
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>741800spy on her
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>741804fug
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>741800> Let's finish our haul and report back guard-senpai
>>741805"YEAH! I'LL EXPOSE OTH OF OUR ANUSES! THEN WE ALL CAN SEE WHO DA BES--""It's time to stop you disgusting homosexual"
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>741811Spy OnHer
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>741811> Let's finish our haul and report back guard-senpai
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>741811check out the most swole dragon
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>741811GoBackToGuard-San
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>741811WAITjust a second ago he was not wearing a muzzle>>741789what happened
>>741822That's a pretty fucking big error Who ever was supposed to do that needs to get fired and replaced
>>741822>>741826Do they actually do anythingFrom this pic >>741800, they seem pretty useless
>>741828Mostly prevents dragons from breathing fire. And that was for comedy effect.
>>741818Despite being wounded, from having his golden scales stripped off, the dragon messiah still holds that title
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>741834Impress him
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>741834ask him his views on dragon-human interspecies sex
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>741834Lift as much as him
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>741834Ask him why he refuses to give babies. Does it have to do with his limp dick?
>>741831Where did the budget go?Why is this monochrome if we have cgi?Why did we only higher one actress to play all the female roles?What was even the purpose of including Prince imppo or traumabarb?I thought this was a fucking Hollywood blockbuster God damn it!
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>741834Wave to him
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>741834Swoon over him as dragon bitchs are known to do
>>741839He spent the money on a skeleton mariachi band and then CUT it.
>>741848Then stop spending money on foodEveryone must bring there own lunch from now on
>>741848How much does a truck of salt even cost!?
>>741835AND NOW, how do you impress the dragon messiah?A. Follow his teachings of disregarding material wealth and strive to improve the dragon species as a whole, moving past your base desiresB. Invite him into your slave caveC. Lift more than himD. Manage to seduce your guard in order to show off your impressive seduction skillsE. Something else
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>741856A
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>741856Ewink wink nudge nudge
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>741856A.alsodidn't messiah join the god slaying team and get his golden scales back?
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>741856> D. Manage to seduce your guard in order to show off your impressive seduction skills
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>741856>AWe need to survive this so the dragon species has a way to come back from complete genocide
>>741855More than you realize
>>741862Fuck, okay, I get it I'll stop trying to get the dragon to sexually assault the guard...
>>741861This is set before that
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>741856fuck! D
>>741864Who needs all of that fucking salt?Just buy catering from Mc Donald's or have everyone bring there own lunchThere famous actors they can afford it
>>741867>>741870but brother, we must. Still I'm like 3 minutes late so I'm not optimistic I'll get picked
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>741858AND NOW, roll 2d100 to resist the allure of material wealth
>>741875Never ever. Not even trying.
Rolled 26, 9 = 35 (2d100)>>741875Let's just skip to the next post
Rolled 43, 22 = 65 (2d100)>>741874Nope>>741875
>>741875LMAO I'm not rolling for that even if it was an easy roll
what the shit dice god, what the shit
Rolled 34, 79 = 113 (2d100)>>741875WHAT THE FUCK
Rolled 30, 13 = 43 (2d100)>>741875Fuck it
>>741878Somewhere, out there, in the heavens, Dice God is like "haha, suckers"
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>741886curse him
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>741886Fuck you dice God Try again
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>741886let's go back to trying to fuck Guard-Sempai
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>741886Mock him re rolling
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>741893Say sorry and pray it does not backfire
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>741893Roll again
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>741893Observe our surroundings
>>741895>Dice God wants us to apologize What a pussy
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>741899>>741897
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>741899now roll on the ground to appease the dice god
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>741899Go back to carrying things around
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>741899Check inventory.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>741910Check our surroundings
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>741910Now try to give up material wealth again
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>741910Now do the secret dragon-god dance you did that one time before we all got enslaved, to boost morale and impress dragon-demigod
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>741910>>741918this
>>741918It's not a secret if Jew God is selling DVD copies of it when he filmed it
>>741912Yes, get a feel of the area
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>741923It's permanently recorded in the divine archives
>>741927Use Greed Vision™ to look for any hidden stuff we can use
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>741927Glomp the Guard
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>741927Try to impress messiah again
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>741927>>741918Ah, i wasted a good roll.
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>741927Romance Slythia. Lesbians are okay. Faggots are not. They all have limp dicks anyway
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>741927Ask what the monument is for
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>741927Go back to carrying blocks
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>741930>>741927Forgot roll>captcha: SURVIVE
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>741927Rape the poor orc.
>>741937work work work
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>741942Spy on slytha at the same time
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>741942again >>741755
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>741942fall in love with a passing orc
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>741942Daydream about when we wuz kangs n shit
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>741942>>741936
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>741942> Check back on that one guard we tramatized. Talk to him..
>>741946Somewhat happier times
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>741951Do the dragon dance
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>741951wotwhen was thatalso talk to the guard again
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>741951>>741945he has a nice hair
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>741954
>>741954Around the time when staves and drakwondo were invented
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>741951> Talk to guard. Make the subject something lite. Such as the unjust persecution of your people...
>>741957When was that?
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>741964oh that one passing by non chalantly
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>741964Practice some drakwondo with the block on your back to impress the messiah
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>741964It's your mind playing tricks. You still remember that nice orc that complimented you back when all the tribes were enslaved and shipped to the kingdom. Both orcs and dragons were shipped together and you had a friendship of sorts
>>741963Civ Thing Part 8, Turn 45
>>741964let's just go and casually slide our tail on guard-san's crotch
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>741964> The orc that is discreetly talking to the messiah behind the guards back
>>741968"ey! Don't play with the building materials"
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>741977go back to work, but seductively have your tail slide down Guard-San's crotch
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>741977Ask the guard if that was impressive
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>741977Attempt to finish the construction.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>741977passing orc cries in the cornernow he'll never get noticed by the pretty dragon
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>741977> "Like what you see little man?"
>>741983oh wait I cant control npcs sorry op.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>741977Clean that blood of your face. A pretty lady shouldn't use blood as make up
>>741983What passing orc, Mr. Toodumbtorememberyoucan'tcontrolNPCs?
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>741987I said I was sorry!
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>741987Wink at the guard
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>741992throw some rocks around
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>741987> "Like what you see little man?"God dammit...I'm not going to roll another 98 for the rest of the game...
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>741992why are you trying to hurt me!I thought this was a safe place! Safe for anons
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>741992Realize the workday is over and nobody was here to see your block juggling
>>741994"So this is what you do in your freetime"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>742000reveal that you were fascinated with barbarians and absorbed their culture to the fullest.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>742000some how complete the project
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>742004this
>>742003fucking barbarians now I have to compete ham fisting my race with another ham fister.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>742000This:>>742004
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>742012play some rock music to prove it.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>742012noswear to never try to imitate any other race, and to only do dragon things
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>742012j/k gigglelooky the projects done
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>742012> Strike a sick-nasty barbarian pose as proof
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>742012Clean your face
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>742020realize that you don't have any own culture and cry in the corner
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>742020Sweet, but it must be late now, go take your dinner
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>742020Flirt with Messiah
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>742020> Ask the guard something...
>>742028You know what, fuck the dice god...I'm joining dice satanism...
>>742025"Alright, so what'll it be today? This comically large haunch of meat or this hot bowl of soup?"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>742034Soup! Gotta watch your figure
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>742034BothAnd ask him if he's free tonight
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>742034bothwe are growing girl
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>742034Meat to help our nonexistent boobs to growNeeds nutrientsAlso hiss at Slutha for having bigger boobs than us
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>742034> [seductively] "You know I like it *hot* baby."
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>742045Bloodface turns brighter red in hatred
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>742045What did that bitch choose anywayAlso, go sit with the messiah
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>742045> Wait, our mouths are unbound? What exactly is stopping us from incinerating everything within 1000 leagues?
>>742049CGI guy is not paid enoughAlso because it's hard to eat through your nose
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>742054>>742048>What did that bitch choose anyway>Also, go sit with the messiah
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>742054This:>>742059
>>742059Soup. Which is also what's the messiah is having
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>742066talk about being slaves and stuff
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>742066Ask him for date.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>742066Entire body apart from face turns brighter red from arousal
>>742068"Ah yes, things have been terrible indeed. Our tribe is in shambles and freedom still seems far away. But I hope none of you have given up yet"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>742073Try to seduce the messia again
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>742073We sure did notGrumble about manlets being free
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>742073> Swoon> Say something dramatic and revolutionary to impress messiah-sempai
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>742073Talk about the future of the dragon race
>>742076AND NOW, WHAT SUPER DRAMATIC AND REVOLUTIONARY THING WILL YOU SAY?A. Dragons may die but the dragon spirit will live on foreverB. If we die, we die heroes deaths. But we will not die. No. It is the enemy that will taste death and defeat.C. Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricksD. I'm my own master nooooooooooowwwwwwwwE. [Dragon growls]F. Something else
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>742095C
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>742095A obviously
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>742095E combine with entire body turning red out of rage for dramatic effect
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>742095>B. If we die, we die heroes deaths. But we will not die. No. It is the enemy that will taste death and defeat.
>>742095Is that a rock hitting a guard?
>>742099"Good, good. Don't let that spirit die."
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>742109Barbs are at it again... Look behind you messiah, shits going down.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>742109> *Squint* "Hey. What are those humans doing up there?"
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>742109"Good... Don't you mind if I become Broodmother for you?"
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>742109Help that barbarian out and kill guards
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>742109FREEDOM IS UPON US>captcha
>>742120Its warning us about something
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>742123call barbarian a wuss
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>742123So now that is sorted, does he have a plan or something to get us out of here ?
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>742123Call barb a wuss
>>742124Called him a wuss
>>742133What does he think of the other races anyway
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>742133Throw a massive boulder for the barb to use
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>742133while guards are distracted make a run for it
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>742133Ask if we can we eat that barbarian
>>742138The guard responsible for you notices your escape, he will now pursue
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>742149Shake that booty while running to distract him
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>742149Escaping ? Nooooo, we were just getting more soup !
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>742149Run like hell. Also can we fly at all?
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>742149GOTTA GO FASTER
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>742149Supporting this:>>742150
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>742160Keep making lewd movements to stop him while you escape
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>742160escape in nearby district
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>742160Look at those haunted eyes...Also, supporting this:>>742163
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>742160>>742163>>742168I support this too.
I dropped a quick review of this quest on /qtg/ as part of my outreach program. >>742170
>>742163"Hrrrmmm...C'MON! FOCUS!" He then smacked himself to resist your lewd movements
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>742180LEWDNESS INTENSIFIES
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>742180IT'S WORKING, keep shacking, that pervert likes itAlso your tail seems hitting some stuff around, but whatever, not a big deal
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>742180Moar LEWDS!
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>742180Suddenly stop and let the guard crash into our ass...
>>742178>Admittedly, the QM is going along with it well, because despite how weird the insane protagonist is being, the world does not give a shit. It just keeps moving on.you ain't see nothing yet, nigga
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>742180He will break...Supporting this:>>742184
>>742184You increased your lewd movements, in turn he increased in pysching himself up to focus on catching you and not gawk at your butt
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>742198check your surroundings real quick
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>742198Keep trying to distract with lewdness!
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>742198Lure him in to running into a foreign object while he's distracted from trying to ignore our sexiness
>>742198occasionally have your tail lift up and flash him your butthole
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>742207FFFUCK
>>742208>not replying to OPOh well
>>742201You're heading towards either the Old District - full of crumbling houses and conviniently placed walls that can be used as obstacles Or the Shopping District - full of random shops that also have conviniently placed stalls that can be used as obstacles
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>742214old district
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>742214shopping district. and flash the guard our butthole to distract.
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>742214shop districtgotta drop all the apples on the ground
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>742214>Old district
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>742214Old districtAnd pray that members of the Barbarian Revolutionary Movement is hiding there and they throw bricks n shit
>>742216"THE SHOPPING DISTRICT?! THERE'RE CIVILLIANS TH---!!!!!!.....HRRRRGHYOU WON'T GET AWAY!"
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>742230flip every shopping stall there is, preferably ones with apples and other roundy fruits and vegetables
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>742230> Continue sexy escape. Start making lewd dragon modes to continue psyching out the guard.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>742230check his boner level while running conveniently picking up phallic looking objects and sucking at them seductively
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>742230>>742244supporting!
>>742236"HEY! THIS IS DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY! YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE!"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>742257In his confusion to avoid your lewdness, he went the wrong wayKeep being lewd btw
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>742257Seductively shout out *HOW BIIIIIIIG*? while still wiggling you ass towards him, occasionally flashing your butthole
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>742257Turn around and slice him in half with our claws. We're like 10x his size
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>742257blame everything on eastern action dramas you watched way too muchAlso suddenly a lot of empty boxes
>>742261Oh wait, that's controlling a NPCJust be lewd then
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>742257> Woah. That guardsman has some crazy ups for a human. Become slightly aroused. Channel that arousal into your escape.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>742257running and continued lewdness is a requirement!
how hilarious would it be if the guy who kills us through anal sex is the guard?
>>742261Ah yes! He suddenly disappeared, he must have went the wrong wa---Oh wait no, he climbed onto the buildings and is now attempting to jumpt onto you from the rooftops
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>742281DO THE BARREL ROLL
>>742277Death by Snoo-Snoo!
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>742281try to get out of his way, and as he lands smother him with dragon titties!
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>742281position yourself so that you can slam your ass on him when he lands
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>742281Holy shit, this guard is ridiculously good at his job...> Forcefully flick a cart at the guard with your tail
>>742283You do a barrel roll to dodge. Your wing also managed to smack the guard in mid-air during your roll and send him crashing into a shops window. This should buy you some time.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>742301>Run the fuck awayHave I slighted you somehow OP?>>742291>>742270
>>742291>>742308The dice god seem to like you.
>>742308It aint me. You just posted those too late
>>742313I denounced the dice god...>>742031All these glorious rolls is thanks to dice Satan...
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>742326shit boi's gonna ambush us JUMP!
>>742335OH FINALLY. I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA END THIS ADVENTURE WITHOUT GETTING A SINGLE (YOU) FROM OP.
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>742326Maybe he isn't trying to arrest us anymore ?
I can understand the king being overpowered because he's the fucking king, but why everybody in the kingdom is overpowered? Even the lowliest guards are hyper efficients and I bet a kingdom janitor could kick a rampaging barbarian's ass casually just because
>>742341Nah. Barbarians just suck balls at everything when they don't have their meteor spam spell
>>742340Honestly, at this point, I'm convinced that this guardsman is some kind of living god...I suggest that we have the dragon take him as her mate...
>>742335The guard managed to grab onto your tail as you jumped.>>742341Well, most of the opposition so far have been the Kingdom's military. Which is trained by the King and his brothers. The normal civillians are still normal civillians. But watch out for those janitors though, they're pretty strong yeah.Also maybe because barbarians sucksuck penis to be exactit's canon
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>742355Push over a woman whose with her kid as a distraction. It turns out to be Elf mom and the smiling son.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>742355Moan lewdly and tell him that no one's ever touched you there yet. Try to look for somewhere secluded to land on>>742355Barbarians being gay is my favorite contribution to the lore.
>>742359Change that to 'grab a woman with her child' instead of push.
>>742363OH SHIT PRAISE DICE GOD.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>742355> Multiple tail whips into building.> Blow him a kiss
>>742363>>742335>two 99 in a rowwoahDon't spend all your luck anon
>>742355Ah, fair enough. I just found puzzling how even tribe heroes who were powered beyond what mere mortals can and lived and breathed war were so easily chased off and repelled by average guards (assuming here that average means being ass kicking machines)
>>742374I already did, I'm failing my Cisco Class
>>742363In other news, with all the running and jumping you've beeing doing, you managed to shake off the fatigue from your wings and can now fly again. Plus since you ran when the guards were distracted, you could probably fly over the city walls back into the tribal lands. But this will be your only chance!Also your escape would mean that now security will be tighter for the rest of the dragons.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>742386Well fuck it let's escape to a sex cave or something and rape the guard
>>742363Well apart from Barbmom we never saw any male barbarians plus we never saw them reproduce naturally
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>742386Fly away. Like a rainbow in the sky.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>742386Escape. The other dragons are fated to be anally killed anyways, specially that slut of slytha
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>742386Follow the teaching of the messiah and flee, the dragon spirit will continue outside the walls of this wrecked cityAlso keep the guard with you
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>742386Time to escape to the Eastern Lands
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>742386>Escape from the city. Make obscene gestures at the guard clinging to your tail until he releases his grip
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>742389"!!! SHE'S TRYING TO FLY OVER THE WALL!" The guard will attempt to climb up and stop you. roll 2d100.Hopefully dice god will stop being a dick and let you escape.
Rolled 50, 26 = 76 (2d100)>>742401FUCK THAT DIRECTION ABORT ABORTTO THE EASTERN LANDS
Rolled 18, 23 = 41 (2d100)>>742401There goes our hope and dreams. For the non-Elves at least.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>742401FuckingDice god
Rolled 91, 2 = 93 (2d100)>>742401Try to keep the guard in hand...Could be useful for information, or pleasure...
Rolled 42, 59 = 101 (2d100)>>742404>>742401I fucked that up
Rolled 44, 14 = 58 (2d100)>>742401FCK YOU BUILT ME UP JUST TO BRING ME DOWN HARD DICE GOD. THIS BETTER BE DOUBLE 90S
Rolled 100, 89 = 189 (2d100)>>742401fucking dice god
>>742402Well shit, before you could even get past the wall, the guard climbed up and gave you a tap on the head, making you lose your balance and crash down to the ground.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>742420Fuck this. Maim and kill the guard already
>>742420Suplex guard into unconsciousness
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>742420Ask the guard why humans hate dragons so muchWhile he is distracted, look for an escape route
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>742420>Boss fight begin: Slut-dragon vs The Guard-Emperor of Guardkind>Begin!
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>742420Rape the guard in Broodmother style.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>742426>>742420
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>742428giving you my roll bro. We're fated to die by anal devastation, I'm feeling lucky about our chances
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>742439Not necessarily >>742426This gaurd needs to die
>>742425Alright, bossfight officially started, let's hope dice god has stopped messing with you.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>742420rape the guard. to death!
>>742442He's mating materialToo good to die
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>742448Swipe our right claw and try to decapitate him
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>742448>We have no choice. We must initiate our ultimate technique.> Draconic seduction style: Lizard sex phenomenon blast!
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>742448SUPLEX GUARD INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>742448Engulf guard in butthole. It's the only way.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>742448Throw that useless calamity ring at the guard
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>742449I fucking hope OP picks this one
>>742449>>742456>>742460This is fucking weird
>>742449Attempting to pin guard down so that you can rape him. Ya know, ta death.But he dodged. Maybe next time.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>742464>>742453
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>742464>We have no choice. We must initiate our ultimate technique.> Draconic seduction style: Lizard sex phenomenon blast!>Initiate feint, surprise tail whip.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>742464Wait, why aren't we fleeing right now ?Fly real high
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>742462We have been trying to rape the guard since the start of the quest until you elves tried to divert attention to Messiah face it brah. Hot Dragon Human Action or nothing>>742464>To deathWe're just gonna rape him to the point where he ahegaos and mindbreaks. Anyway try and see if we can breathe fire again by searing the ground below him. His armor is gonna conduct that heat nice and warm
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>742464You have seen already enough about the King's guards movements. They are swift, strong and can take down even a dragon. Your only choice is to outsmart him, do something unpredictable as you bet he has been trained in how to handle dragons
>>742469This is a boss fight anon...Everyone knows that you can't run away from a boss fight...
>>742475You're fucking weird and probably an orc
>>742479That anon could be a Slaaneshi demon, and we'd never even know...
>>742479>implyingMC Herbalist was one of the people who started out this path to Guard Sex. Don't think you poofs are that pure yet.
>>742483Well there were a lot of weird and sexually deviant Orc players if I recall. Manlet as well.
>>742490We were the tribe who raped dragons with fruit. Of course.
>>742466And another dodge, he's gonna punce and punch you soon, better engage evasive maneuvers
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>742494Engage in evasive maneuvers
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>742494parry him
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>742494Just use drakwondo
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>742499while breathing fire
Taunt the guard
>>742494distract him with schwarma!
welp it's 2AM. Time to sleep, I have classes in 7. Hopefully we still alive after I wake up hopefully around 3 or 4. (Don't judge me, I slept like 16 hours today.)
>>742509Okay...See you soon...
>>742509>A degenerat human fucker is goneRejoice!
>>742499Ah yes, the dragon tribe patented Drakwondo, a martial art that utilizez a dragon's body....which in this case amounts to quickly using your tail to block the punch
>>742516I'm still pretty degenerate...So, your still going to have to deal with... L E W D N E S S
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>742520use the tail to wrap him up and crush him!
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>742520Do a barrel roll while breathing fire
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>742520Use drakwondo to break his neck
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>742520grab him, all the lewd moves we did earlier surelly weakened himAnd breath fire btw
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>742520>Flash privates to guard, then side swipe him with your tail while he is flustered.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>742520Create a smokecloud with your firebreath and escape while he can't see and has trouble breathing with all the smoke
>>742525He had to roll with you to escape the fire
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>742542Spin around and roll so fast that we create a hurricane
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>742542Keep rolling and make the guard dizzy! Also breathe fire!
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>742542Become rolling buddies
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>742542Keep rolling, but lewdly
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>742542Let's try >>742536 again
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>742542> Continue fighting with guardsman. Over time your conflict slowly begins to resemble the elaborate and erotic mating dances of your ancestors.
>>742548Internally wondering if all dragons are like this
Rolled 21 (1d100)Taunt the guard!
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>742558>>742544
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>742558Make a smokescreen, and escape while he is distracted
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>742558We'll make him crack eventually! Keep up the lewdness!
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>742558>Time to finish this guardsman off. Release the reptile sex pheromones!
I am pleased at the direction this thread is taking.
>>742572Of course you would
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>742568"Oh god what the shit"Right, you know how it goes, roll 2d100 yadda yadda, Dice God pls
Rolled 57, 51 = 108 (2d100)>>742578Dice Gods pls!
Rolled 85, 94 = 179 (2d100)>>742578
Rolled 21, 25 = 46 (2d100)>>742578After all the failed seduction attempts... :D
>>742580>>742581ALRIGHT NOBODY POST NOW
Rolled 10, 32 = 42 (2d100)>>742578I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore.
Rolled 29, 88 = 117 (2d100)>>742578Rolling...
>>742581Ha ha oh wow. This must be that guard's most bizarre day in his life
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>742595grab him and fly toward the sunset
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>742595Keep seducing and being lewd, he's about to break!
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>742595Tell him to take our hand so we can fly away and live together in peace
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>742595Fly away with him to make babies outside the kingdom
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>742595> [seductively] "Come get some, little ape."
Poor OP...Do you think he thought he'd be facilitating an interspecies porno when he got up this morning?
>>742614Isn't it every man's dream to facilitate an interspecies porno?
>>742602And so you fly away with your uh...mate..hmm and escape the kingdom. Winning you this session. And also maybe a slot in Civ Thing 2 for Half-Dragons..hmmm.Well this is certainly not what the guard expected when he checked in for work today.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>742624So what happened to Slytha
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>742624So what now? Are we going to rotate and play as a different character or can we move on to civ thing 2 now?
>>742631There's still episode 10, which is the last episode dealing with killing Brock.So now...filler, with only the Elf Kid left.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>742639What's that sign for if nothing is there? Take a closer look at it,
>>742630Well take your pick:A. Died of dysenteryB. Killed in the string of Dragon serial killingsC. Caught the eye of some noble and was bought to be his dragon wifeD. Died of old age
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>742639Be the sign
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>742639check that sign out!
>>742642Whaat, it's nothing, I'll just remove it...
>>742644>C. Caught the eye of some noble and was bought to be his dragon wife
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>742651That sign right there. Take a look at it and touch it.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>742651Select the sign. (not what's behind the sign; be the sign)
>>742667Uh. I guess there isn't any sign. Looks like Elf kid next.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>742667but it was just there...elf kid it is.
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>742667BEHIND THE ELF KID
>>742680Right, anyway. We return to Elf Kid, who is reporting to your uncle about how you just cleared out a den of conspirators with your other uncle. Also there was this weird gardener lady that was just here but is now gone, what was up with that, weird. Anyway, what do?
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>742696Tell him you killed nearly all of them thanks to our training
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>742696ask the king if we have a quest
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>742696Get distracted by some butterfly because we're a kid.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>742696Sit in uncle's lap...
>>742624hey we're not dead. Sweet. Welp back to dreamland
>>742701"Hmmm, very good kiddo, very good. Did you manage to find out what their plans are too? And you said "nearly all of them", so what happened to the rest?"
>>742708Hey, that was a quick nap mate...You missed the seduction, and subsequent mating of, the uber-guardsman...
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>742717I'm pretty sure other uncle got them. Also we found about a bunch of books about the tribes and they said something about abducting dragons I think
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>742717Other uncle beat them to a pulpAlso, what happened to that dragon that escaped not to long ago ?
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>742717I killed all the ones I could see and other uncle got the plans
>>742722"Oh?...That one...Well the Dragon Messiah might have escaped our grasp but we'll find him soon, don't worry"
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>742747offer to find the dragon messiah
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>742747Go wander off and don't worry.Find something to try the amulet on.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>742747I'm going to look for that gardener lady who was just here
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>742747Do you still have the mirror ?Use its power on him
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>742747Supporting:>>742750
>>742754Yes, time to test out the amulet of telekinesis that you got from the secret conspirator base.This rock seems like a good test subject.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>742764Use it on the king's crown
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>742764Rocks suck. Let's get it out of our sight by floating it away
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>742764Try to use telekineses too hard and poo yourself a bit.
>>742764>Channel telekinetic power>"I'm the greatest psyker in the universe!"
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>742776>Forgot to rollFuck!
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>742780> "Woah, neat!" See if you can use the amulet to make yourself float.
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>742780But why would someone put a rock there...?Use telekenisis to dig under the rock, there must be some secret treasure!
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>742780Dig where the rock was
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>742780Now stand on the rock while you're lifting it. Achieve hoverrock
>>742786Yep, that's dirt
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>742797Hover the ground under our feet and create the futuristic method of travel.
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>742797Wait are our eyes glowing?Maybe we're magic and not the amulet?Try telekinesis without the amulet.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>742797Go to the markets. We can get stuff like boards and use it to our own stuff.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>742818Go to where the tribes use to be. Surely we know it from reading all those tomes
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>742818>The skies belong to you. Your power is supreme declare yourself supreme overlord of generic fantasy land.
>>742828YOu can hear your mom yelling that you should remember to return home before dinner
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>742844oh, shit, dinnertime! Git some!
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>742844Okay mom. I'm off to learn about the world.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>742844Proceed to the ancient elven forest
>>742848Right, now where would you want to go first?A. Crater lake that used to be the first elven forestB. Crash site of the second elven forestC. Ruins of the barbarian villageD. The mountains where manlets and dragons livedE. The battlefield where your uncle defeated the tribes
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>742872Battlefield
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>742872A
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>742872>B
>>742875According to the books you read in the conspirators den, this lake used to be a crater before the barbarians dug a channel to the nearby river and filled it with water. And before that it used to be an elven forest, before the barbarians used their heretical magic to summon a meteor and smash it into the forest
>>742872B. Crash site of the second elven forest
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>742891Fucking Barbs. They should have another fortress nearby. Look there
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>742891dive
Rolled 21 (1d100)look around for barbarians
>>742896Ah yes, the ruins of the second barbarian fortress, built near the crater lake in an attempt to expand their territory.
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>742913look for barbarian artifacts
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>742913We should piss on it to display our disdain for them!
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>742913look for things to take with you
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>742925Look for things to loot.They must've left something behind.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>742925Look for something barbarian to fight
>>742930With all the barbarians being captured in the arena, you probably won't find any barbarians to fight amongst these ruins
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>742944Find an orc then
>>742946Orcs also suffered the same fate as the barbarians and are all captured in the arena. In fact, you probably won't find anything to fight out here at all. Yep, this place is completely safe with no surprise enemies jumping out at the last second.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>742967Visit the Eastern Lands fuck this place everything is gay
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>742967But the archives said something about an ancient enemy, seeking orc and elf blood,An enemy that struck fear into the ancient tribes' hearts.The Jasons.We must seek them.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>742967Let's explore for local wildlife. I'm sure there's still some forest creatures that dwell around these pets and they're friendly. Right?
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>742967Get a souveneir anyway
>>742973Yes like, this bunny
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>742983CAN WE KEEP IT
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>742983keep the cute bunny and go back home
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>742983Take the bunny. We'll keep it as a pet and souvenir from the old forest.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>742983Levitate it
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>742974Oh, hello not-evil bunny!Pet the bunny
>>742985OH NO! THE BUNNY IS KILLED BY A MONSTER! According to the books, these abominations were created when barbarians obtained a cursed sword from the Orcs which they then broke into many, many pieces and threw into the lake. The pieces then exert their dark energies, forming bodies made out of mud, rock, bark and various other things. Now they hunt for the blood of orcs and elves. AND YOU'RE AN ELF! OH NO! IT MUST HAVE CAUGHT YOUR SCENT!
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>743018Hover away to the kingdom as fast as possible..
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>743018Try to use our Telekinesis and strip it of its limbs which are made of mud and other natural materials
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>743018Kill it.We ain't no regular peasant.We're a demigod, but most importantly, we're a trained guard.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>743018Safely levitate out of reachLevitate it, too and go back to the kingdom with it
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>743018WAIT THE BUNNY IS STILL BREATHINGHANG IN THERE MR ROGERS
>Orc and elf freedom outside the kingdom is impossible due to the slasher villainsFuck
>>743025Dangit, it won't stay still! It's trying to break your hold!
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>743048Break it's arm off
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>743048Use your guard training and fight it
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>743048Lead him to the paladins who are good at banishing heretical sword monsters.Also for the love of god stay on your hoverdirtmound
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>743048Throw our hovering piece of dirt on it and fully focus our telekinectic powers on it.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>743067Attempting to lure it to the nearest paladins so it can be purged.As always, roll 2d100
Rolled 74, 51 = 125 (2d100)>>743080EZ PZ
Rolled 35, 15 = 50 (2d100)>>743080
Rolled 17, 17 = 34 (2d100)>>743080We probably could've used our telekinesis to spray it with water until it broke down
>>743081The foolish abomination fell for your bait and followed you right into the waiting arms of a nearby paladin squad. It was promptly purged from this land.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>743102Study the paladins' moves and try to learn from them
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>743108This
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>743102Is that paladin a skeleton by any chance ?
Rolled 64 (1d100)Levitate it's body into the sun turning it to ash.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>743120You have seen the purge, now you have to practice it
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>743120Learn a new technique.Deus Vult
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>743120Huh, so that's how you do it...Assimilate holy paladin combat moves thanks to demigod dickery
>>743125Then perhaps you might have to head out into the tribal lands again to lure out some more monsters
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>743134Fuk the tribal lands lets go to the eastern lands
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>743120>>743134Let's go to where the second Elf forest crashed.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>743134Well I mean we should go borrow that weab helmet the orcs had to find our old forest.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>743134check out the manlet/dragon lands to find what abominations are leftand by abominations I mean surviving dragons
>>743138First, according to the archives, the helmet was destroyed during the battle between your uncle and the tribes. Second, since when did you live in a forest? And third, the second elven forest crashed into the ground near the battlefield.Anyyway, I'll have to hold this off for now. Damn weather gave me a cold and I've been coughing so much i feel like the I'm going to eventually cough up my lungs. Plus I got a sudden headache. So we'll continue later. Updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>743176Don't die OP
Are dragons the most successful race?Every time we played as them, we survived and escapedIgnoring the fact that there's only two pureblood dragons left of course
>>743520>All but 2 of race buttraped to death>Are we the most successful race?
>>743520Pretty sure the undead win on this one.>Converted every single orc, a barb and some skeles
>>743520Elves are the most successful. We have the most powerful being on our side, in the shape of the King being Elf kids uncle
Rolled 41 (1d100)Dang it. Fell asleep again. Goddamn vitamin D deficiency
>>743102So that's around 3 of them down? Were there 4 or 5 of them? I don't remember well
>>7443355 shards. 3 are dead. 1 was made into a dagger and left behind in conspirator hideout.
>>744335I thought there were a dozen or so in total. 5 chasing after the elves and 6 chasing after the Orcs or vice versa. Several have been lost since then.
>>743789This. All other races are you even trying?
>>745349>>743789>corpse eating slave race where king fucks your royalty and raises your only hope>successful
>>745366>penis sucking failures>having any place to speak
>>745518>using lore added just cause barbarians are comedic relief as an insult to the only barbarian player who did nothing wrongyou could try harder or something
>>745543>this much denial
>Elves>More successful than ManletsLiterally sans the Elf Prince and the king's cum dump all of you are slaves. I'd argue the Orcs are more successful than the Elves too since after Hooded Bones came in and talked to them, they've all been inducted into the church to fight for their waifu in heaven.It obviously goesManlets (Have Jobs, good ones like adventurer, mad scientist, baker, and fun shit like Manlen Rider) > Orcs (Aside from being inducted to the one true god, they're still the same deviant weebs before the aftermath, granted there's probably only like a handful of them left, also I'm fucking biased) > Dragons (literally the only tribe who didn't fucked up and killed their protag and could actually sideline into Civ Thing 2 or later stories) >Elves (Salt Monster worshiping slave weirdos sans high priestess and son) > Skeletons (on the run and probably gonna die if Hooded Bones don't step in or some shit, even so seeing Fred they're not gonna take kindly to change) > Barbarians (Gay and literally just 1 guy is left)>>743672What are you talking about? Sans Hooded Bones every single one of them is on the run, there were no skeletons in the colosseum so none of them were converted. Fuck Skelebro died trying to convert Fred.
>>745349>your own hero getting cucked by the King>betrayed by his own tribe>successful
>>746236>Dragons (literally the only tribe who didn't fucked up and killed their protag and could actually sideline into Civ Thing 2 or later stories)Thanks to Slut-Dragon's weird kinks and sexual degeneracy we might have a new race...Fear not my friends, so long as the Dragons survive, I solemnly vow to ensure that they keep pumping out creepy, half-breed abominations to replace dead races with...
>>745366>>745543>>746236>>746269HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAKeep downplaying and falsifying facts because you all know that Elves are the only faction haven't been assraped to death both literally and metaphorically. They're all comfy as house servants and magicians while manlet protagonists are getting killed left and right and all the others races are slaves on the verge of extinction.
What are you nerds arguing about now?
>>746369Salt mines placement.
>>746357Not an argument.You have yet to refute the fact you guys are the most cucked race
>>746503Elves have procreated with any other races and the only times sodomy took place, it was completely consensual.
>>746510>Elves have NOT procreated with any other races and the only times sodomy took place, it was completely consensual.Small typo
>>746236Oh shit I missed that part
>>746855Skelebro fucking up and pissing off fred.
>>746857Barbarians dead(?) or alive are all social autists anyway>their way of greeting a travelling dragon is with rocks
>>746928Don't forget>Attacking the Elves on their home turf and openly admitting to wanting to rape their women is self defense
Alright,w ho's here
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>749379supdon't forgetti to punch your face with spaghetti
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>749379Punch self in face and lose control of the floating earth you're on
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>749379rocks
>>749381Nah, that'd be retarded
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>749384travel to the dragon caves
>>749385Currently being excavated for stuff
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>749386magic out a better hat, like a beanie with a propeller, so you can fly better or something
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>749386is there any chicken bones?
>>749387Sadly you don't know the Hat Conjuring spell
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>749393what spells do you know?
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>749393Head west and look for where the Manlet's promised land
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>749396>>749395
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>749396sing a happy song while wandering through the wasteland that once was the fertile land inhabited by the tribes.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>749396weaksauce,go learn more, is there not kingdom unlicensed spell school nearby?
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>749396fug itmaybe you can have a dragon scale hat in the caves, that should be cool and shit
>>749400"Ah! I heard you're interested in Dranscale related items, my boy! Perhaps I can interest you in my fine selection of Dragonscale clothing!"
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>749401give me your bestest hatput it on the King's tab, merchat man
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>749401do you have baseball dragonscale caps?
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>749401Got the Gold stuff?
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>749401rob this schlomolevitate him and smash him into the ground
>>749405"Of course, clothing and armor made from the Golden Scales of A Dragon Messiah"
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>749409PIMP HATBut remember what your cool uncle told you about dealing with dem damn le happy merchants
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>749409TAKE IT ALL
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>749409anything more kid sized?I wanna baseball hat
>>749411FLLAAAAASSSSHBAAACK"Don't trust the merchants with big noses. When one tries to sell you something, punch them in the nose and take their stuff"
Oh wait, someone's at the door, brb
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>749415PUNCH THE JEW IN THE SCHNOZ AND TAKE HIS STUFF
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>749415gas the schlooomo with some nasty fart
>>749418"bleeugh"Now which stuff would you take
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>749426The pimp clothing and the armorcombine the two into one
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>749426Upper left thing, we don't need another hatalso, honk his nose
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>749426pimp clothingwaitwear helmet and pimp hat on top and clothing
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>749426Gold scale pimp set.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>749433now that we're dressed for the event,check where are some tribes we can purge and genocide and all that jazz
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>749433test out our pimp hand on other jews
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>749433Continue making mom proud
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>749438Stop
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>749438how did you end up near barbarians tho.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>749438Beat up the Salt Cult next
>>749442BUt now, what is this Salt Cult? You couldn't find any info about it in the Conspirators archives.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>749444first, you need more powerful spells to beat up tribes more efficiently, check for nearest wizard's tower or witch's den
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>749444what about my roll? >>749441fly around and look for cult
>>749445Ah yes, you can either go to "Master Malazar's Magical Mysteries" or "Forbidden Arts, and More!"Or you could go home and ask mom>>749449Oh fuck, I misread that. So uh let's say that this is a rogue barbarian that managed to evade capture...until now.
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>749451Forbidden arts sounds coolerhope the witches are hot
Im still here. Just at work. Cant speak for anyone else tho
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>749456flip her skirt anyway
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>749456>>749457Do it
>>749459"Down there are horrors the world is not meant to know, kid. Don't be retarded"
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>749456>big (((nose)))We know what to do. Uncle taught us well!
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>749460does she have a cute grandaughter?
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>749460do it anywaythat's what kids do
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>749460I wanna learn about Horrors... and Cults. And NotSoHorrifying Cults
>>749466"Sure, kid. 10 gold for a 4-week course. 5 for a book"
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>749471Take course and use Royal Discount
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>749471put it on the king's tab give us some juicy dangerous knowledge
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>749471Punch her and take all the books just like Uncle taught us
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>749471agree and flip her skirt anyway on way out
>>749476[learning in progress]
>>749483suddenly dark forbidden knowledge, the one from culinary part of other elf quest
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>749488what book cover says anyway?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>749488You're done learning now
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>749488so what spells did we learn?
>>749491After 4 weeks of learning, you've graduated.Also there was this war in heaven about killing a barbarian god or whatever but you were too busy learning to notice.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>749497what your skills now? can you resurrect gods?
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>749497Go see our mom in the department of transmutation or wherever she works
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>749497did we level up?get a perk maybe?
>>749501But why would you do that though? 'sides nobody can resurrect a god. Only God can.
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>749507fiiiinecheck skill inventory anyway
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>749507but what if we try?Isn't it interesting, to try to resurrect something what is similar to god. What can POSSIBLY go wrong?
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>749507See what spells and abilities we learned
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>749507run to mommy and show her our shiny certificate
>>749516Hmmm, the door's locked
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>749520Use telekenisis to open it
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>749520knock like the good boi you are
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>749520> Telekinesis door off of doorframe...
>>749520try to open it, or sneak through a window, we gotta show mommy our shiny certificate
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>749520>>749525fuck, forgot to roll
>>749522Dunno, seems a bit rude innit
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>749529open it anyway ya wuss
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>749529Knock and see if we can come in
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>749529>Nah. We can just telekinesis the door back into the frame and then, *BAM*, Good as new...
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>749529sneak in through a window
>>749533"No, you can't come inside""Aww c'mon"Oh hey, sounds like Uncle is in there too
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>749537Use a new spell you got to destroy door, enter shouting:"OOGAH BOOGAH WHERE DA ORK WIMMENS AT"
>>749537but mommy has to see ou certificate, let's sneak in through a window or use one of our new magic tricks to get through the door
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>749537Come inside
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>749537>>749539fuck, stupid dice
>>749538>implying any sane being is interested in Orc wimmenz
>>749538Actually, who do orc women look like anyway? Plus that sounds kinda retarded
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>749544Tell them that we have something super important to show them
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>749544>>749545add it withIt's big, long, it's in my pants, and it has your name on it Mom!
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>749544Be a nosey kid and break in
>>749543thought it was ironic ironic because he is elf boy and elves are successful, etc, whatever
>>749545"Can it wait? I'm trying to get my...serpent to come inside your mom's...dark void"
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>749547>>749554
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>749554>>749539
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>749554Hey, i learned about dark void magic recently!And then we go in
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>749554YOU NEVER GIVE ME ATTENTION MOMFINE I'LL JUST GO BRAG ABOUT MY CERTIFICATE TO SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>749554>>749539
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>749554> "Wow! You have a snake in there?! Cool! Can I see!"
>>749559"C'mon dear, it'll just be a minute""I can pull out and go see his certificate in your places if it'd help""Nah bro, we'll be done soon anyway"Oh hey your other uncle is in there too
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>749562Shit nigga don't go peepin.Go find a shiny rock or go look for the victory celebration the paladins are having
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>749562Things are getting suspicious...If both uncles are there, mom needs real help...Maybe they're fighting tho!OH SHIT,WE GOTTA GO IN AND HELP
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>749562> "Maybe they are preparing a cake to celebrate you certificate with?"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>749562Are you guys and mommy playing the game I played with barbarians?The one where they hug me really hard....
>>749566"It's more like a pie full of cream actually"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>749569>>749567
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>749569>>749564
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>749569Ah, my favourite!>just open that fuggin door, jesus christ
>>749574Do you really wanna intrude them with your super door busting skills?
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>749579Yes
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>749579YLock in
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>749579> YThey absolutely gotta see your certificate and sweet new threads
>>749581"No, you can't come inside the dark void without the magical coat of protection. Your serpent would not survive""BOOOOOOOOO"Oh hey look, they're playing the popular board game: Cells and Serpents
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>749587"are ya winnin mom?"
>>749587... this was the best outcome Well done, NaP.
>>749587Kek.Well done, OP.Well done.
>>749587CnC=Cells n Serpants?
>>749588"I'm the Game Master, son. I always win">>749592The other curve was missed when I pressed ctrl+s
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>749594Wait, where's the cream-filled pie?
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>749594show mom and uncles the spells you have learned
>>749562>threesomeelves confirmed for fucking degenerates.
>>749596Like this Demon summoning spell
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>749603Not that.