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Oh shit nigger(s) it's the aftermath of Civ Thing and all the tribes who inhabitited the nondescript generic fantasy land has all been enslaved (in varying degrees) by The Kingdom ruling the aforementioned nondescript generic fantasy land.
Now they must either accept their fate or break out and free their own tribe. Other tribes optional.

Your current protagonist is a Dragon, who like many dragons after her tribe's enslavement, is made into slaves. No loner the proud, powerful and greedy bullies they once were in the tribal days.

Currently you're in the middle of another day of hard labour. What do?

Roll 1d100, who gets the highest number is the picked action.

Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>741672
Swear to never punch yourself in the face
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>741672
claw yourself in the face
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>741672
Punch self in face
>>
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>>741673
Yeah sure okay.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>741676
Claw self in face instead.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>741676
do it anyway
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>741676
Check out where the other dragons are
>>
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>>741677
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>741681
What is that guard doing here
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>741681
Smear you blood all over you
Use that to intimidate the gaurd
>>
How the fuck does this shit still exists?
>>
>>741684
Because this is 4chan
Someone isn't going to stop posting because people hate them
>>
>>741684
How does this board still exist? I dunno, probably magic.
>>
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>>741683
"...get back to work"
>>
>>741687
This board exist because a mod wanted to keep /tg/ pure
But when I look back on it,we were shitting up the place
But hiro is probably going to delete this board after he deletes /po/
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>741688
Clawing myself and smearing blood everywhere is not a phase thing, okay?

CRAWLING IN MY SCALES

THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAUAUAL
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>741688
Don't
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>741688
Smear more blood
Dragon blood dosen't lose its pigment when it dries and is in always silky smooth
>>
>>741690
wait what's wrong with origami
>>
>>741694
It's the slowest board that exists
>>
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>>741691
"Oh please, you're a dragon so those wounds will probably heal. Now be a good girl and get back to work"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>741700
Start liftin
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>741700
But I'm a special dragon,born with fuck you strong fire breath but no regen factor
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>741700
check your quota list of daily labour
>>
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>>741703
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>741707
think about why you are not the prettiest slave female dragon of whereeveryouare

you know, all those stupid girl concerns
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>741707
Claw him in the face
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>741707
Get that crate to where it's headed already
>>
Wh-

...

Not even 50 posts in and our character is wearing blackface...
>>
>>741711
but blood is not black, unless dragon blood is black, but it is sometimes green too
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>741707
Smear more blood over yourself
Many other dragons now realize that making you the brood mother after the messiah was a mistake
>>
>>741711
It's only black because everything is in monochrome. Just pretend it's actually really dark red
>>
>>741672
Orks represent. What we having?
>>
>>741715
...anon I'm sorry... The orcs have no more chances
>>
>>741717
I know, I was in last thread. We're still having Love-Love Orc Chan Spin-Off right?
>>
>>741718
But love-love Orc chan is played by a human
>>
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>>741708
And it's all because of Slytha, that bitch

"That one? That one with the flower on her head? Doesn't look that different to me"

Ugh, men
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>741721
Seduce the guard
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>741721
Tell him she's a bitch
The messiah has only one lover, and it's you
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>741720
everyone is sans Dragons and Elves you inbred

>>741721
Wait we're a girl? Check our sex parts
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>741721

> Chastize this intolerant shitlord for contributing to the horrors of patriarchy and female [dragon] oppression...
>>
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>>741723
Ah yes. And how would you, a dragon, seduce this human guard?
A. Romantic candle lit dinner under the full moon
B. Invite him into you slave cave
C. Knock him out then invite him into your slave cave
D. Ask nicely
E. Wink repeatedly while nudging him with your elbow
F. Tell him to check his privilege
G. Something else
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>741728
E
Surely this will not backfire in any possible way
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>741728

> F. Tell him to check his privilege (As grating and obnoxiously as you can)
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>741728
G
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>741728
C. Knock him out then invite him into your slave cave
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>741728
C.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>741728
>A
Were edgy but not an SJW
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>741728
>C. Knock him out then invite him into your slave cave

Those kingdom fuckers don't know about being gentle with ladies at all, so pay in the same money
>>
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Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>741729
And now, as always, roll 2d100. First number is pickings, second then have to be higher then my shitty one
>>
Rolled 29, 7 = 36 (2d100)

>>741738
>83
we ded
>>
Rolled 47, 33 = 80 (2d100)

>>741738

Rolling...
>>
Rolled 10, 20 = 30 (2d100)

>>741738
It's not like anything bad will happen if we fail
>>
Rolled 73, 24 = 97 (2d100)

>>741738
Nice roll, OP
>>
Rolled 45, 63 = 108 (2d100)

>>741738
"wanna sLAY this dragon?"
>>
Rolled 64, 48 = 112 (2d100)

>>741738
>>741739
>>741740
>>741741
>>741742
>>741743
OH god
>>741738
>>
RIP generic dragon
>>
Rolled 17, 23 = 40 (2d100)

>>741738
>>
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>>741742
"Ah yes, I see. Yes, I'm sure you're a very pretty dragon...now get back to work. Carry that block to over there"
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>741748
Oh yes, i love being ordered around by your strong presence, mr.guard~
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>741748
Go with Plan C
It'll work, I promise
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>741748
B...baka
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>741748
You can't tell me what to do! Your not my REAL broodmother!
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>741748

>Carry the hell out of that rock. Show off your ass to the guard as you go...
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>741748
Shout out that this guard just raped you
>>
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>>741755
And so you did.

He'll fall for you.

Eventually.

Probably.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>741761
Go beat the shit out of that other female dragon with the rock you're carrying
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>741761
Watch Syltha closely while we work.
We'll get some dirt on that slut, one way or another.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>741761
hiss at Slytha while you are at it
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>741761
That guard does not deserve you
Go impress the king instead
>>
>>741761

Yep. Those are the eyes of a man who has a very confused boner...
>>
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>>741767
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>741771
SMASH HER HEAD IN WITH A ROCK
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>741771
Look at her, she dosen't even wear make-up.
Spread some lies, make the other dragons and guards hate her.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>741771
Go back to guard and present our best lewdest face while telling him "all done g-guard-sama" in like a breathless, dtf voice
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>741771
well, a slave gotta slave

what were we building again?
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>741771
>>741777

Yeah I like to know too.
>>
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>>741774
Alright, roll 2d100 to see your slander outcome
1-59: no effect
60-79: some effect
80-100: great effect
>>
Rolled 47, 33 = 80 (2d100)

>>741779

Rolling...
>>
Rolled 43, 57 = 100 (2d100)

>>741779
"Her hoarded gold....were fake!"
>>
Rolled 38, 67 = 105 (2d100)

>>741779
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>741779
We'll show that fucking bitch who's boss
>>
Rolled 78, 20 = 98 (2d100)

>>741779
BIIIIITCH
>>
Rolled 97, 18 = 115 (2d100)

>>741779
>>
Rolled 56, 8 = 64 (2d100)

>>741779
>>741783
fug
>>
>>741785

> 97

Woo!
>>
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>>741785
>18
"Pffft, you be lyin"

Your slander didn't have any effect
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>741789
Fine. Just look at her anus next time. I bet the gap is bigger than yours, pussy.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>741789

Continue with your campaign of lies, this time with another dragon, you are bound to succeed this time, it's the rule of odds!
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>741789

>Starting loudly crying like some kind of giant, scaly attention whore
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>741789
Fug.
Plan B.
Stalk Slytha to see if he has any dirty secrets.
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>741789
Spy on her
She MUST have a skeleton in her closet
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>741789
go back to seducing our Guard,
>>
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>>741790
"Yeah?! Well I have you know that my anus is very well-experienced! No way she can beat me!"

"That's nothing to brag about, you gigantic scaly faggot"
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>741800
go back to work like didn du nuthin gud girl slave
>>
>>741800
Stalk mode : engaged
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>741800
Go check her yourself, then!
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>741800
spy on her
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>741804
fug
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>741800

> Let's finish our haul and report back guard-senpai
>>
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>>741805
"YEAH! I'LL EXPOSE OTH OF OUR ANUSES! THEN WE ALL CAN SEE WHO DA BES--"

"It's time to stop you disgusting homosexual"
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>741811
Spy
On
Her
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>741811

> Let's finish our haul and report back guard-senpai
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>741811
check out the most swole dragon
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>741811
Go
Back
To
Guard-San
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>741811
WAIT
just a second ago he was not wearing a muzzle
>>741789
what happened
>>
>>741820
CGI error
>>
>>741822
That's a pretty fucking big error
Who ever was supposed to do that needs to get fired and replaced
>>
>>741822
>>741826
Do they actually do anything
From this pic >>741800, they seem pretty useless
>>
>>741828
Mostly prevents dragons from breathing fire. And that was for comedy effect.
>>
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>>741818
Despite being wounded, from having his golden scales stripped off, the dragon messiah still holds that title
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>741834
Impress him
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>741834
ask him his views on dragon-human interspecies sex
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>741834
Lift as much as him
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>741834
Ask him why he refuses to give babies. Does it have to do with his limp dick?
>>
>>741831
Where did the budget go?
Why is this monochrome if we have cgi?
Why did we only higher one actress to play all the female roles?
What was even the purpose of including Prince imppo or traumabarb?
I thought this was a fucking Hollywood blockbuster God damn it!
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>741834
Wave to him
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>741834
Swoon over him as dragon bitchs are known to do
>>
>>741839
He spent the money on a skeleton mariachi band and then CUT it.
>>
>>741839
Catering
>>
>>741848
Then stop spending money on food
Everyone must bring there own lunch from now on
>>
>>741848
How much does a truck of salt even cost!?
>>
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>>741835
AND NOW, how do you impress the dragon messiah?
A. Follow his teachings of disregarding material wealth and strive to improve the dragon species as a whole, moving past your base desires
B. Invite him into your slave cave
C. Lift more than him
D. Manage to seduce your guard in order to show off your impressive seduction skills
E. Something else
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>741856
A
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>741856
E
wink wink nudge nudge
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>741856
A.
also
didn't messiah join the god slaying team and get his golden scales back?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>741856

> D. Manage to seduce your guard in order to show off your impressive seduction skills
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>741856
>A
We need to survive this so the dragon species has a way to come back from complete genocide
>>
>>741855
More than you realize
>>
>>741862

Fuck, okay, I get it I'll stop trying to get the dragon to sexually assault the guard...
>>
>>741861
This is set before that
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>741856
fuck! D
>>
>>741864
Who needs all of that fucking salt?
Just buy catering from Mc Donald's or have everyone bring there own lunch

There famous actors they can afford it
>>
>>741867
>>741870
but brother, we must. Still I'm like 3 minutes late so I'm not optimistic I'll get picked
>>
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Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>741858
AND NOW, roll 2d100 to resist the allure of material wealth
>>
>>741875
Never ever. Not even trying.
>>
Rolled 26, 9 = 35 (2d100)

>>741875
Let's just skip to the next post
>>
Rolled 43, 22 = 65 (2d100)

>>741874
Nope

>>741875
>>
>>741875
LMAO I'm not rolling for that even if it was an easy roll
>>
what the shit dice god, what the shit
>>
Rolled 34, 79 = 113 (2d100)

>>741875
WHAT THE FUCK
>>
Rolled 30, 13 = 43 (2d100)

>>741875
Fuck it
>>
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>>741878
Somewhere, out there, in the heavens, Dice God is like "haha, suckers"
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>741886
curse him
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>741886
Fuck you dice God
Try again
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>741886
let's go back to trying to fuck Guard-Sempai
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>741886
Mock him re rolling
>>
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>>741887
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>741893
Say sorry and pray it does not backfire
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>741893
Roll again
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>741893
Observe our surroundings
>>
>>741895
>Dice God wants us to apologize
What a pussy
>>
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>>741895
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>741899
>>741897
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>741899
now roll on the ground to appease the dice god
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>741899
Go back to carrying things around
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>741899
Check inventory.
>>
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>>741903
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>741910
Check our surroundings
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>741910
Now try to give up material wealth again
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>741910
Now do the secret dragon-god dance you did that one time before we all got enslaved, to boost morale and impress dragon-demigod
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>741910
>>741918
this
>>
>>741918
It's not a secret if Jew God is selling DVD copies of it when he filmed it
>>
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>>741912
Yes, get a feel of the area
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>741923
It's permanently recorded in the divine archives
>>
>>741927
Use Greed Vision™ to look for any hidden stuff we can use
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>741927
Glomp the Guard
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>741927
Try to impress messiah again
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>741927
>>741918
Ah, i wasted a good roll.
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>741927
Romance Slythia. Lesbians are okay. Faggots are not. They all have limp dicks anyway
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>741927
Ask what the monument is for
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>741927
Go back to carrying blocks
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>741930
>>741927
Forgot roll

>captcha: SURVIVE
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>741927

Rape the poor orc.
>>
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>>741937
work work work
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>741942
Spy on slytha at the same time
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>741942
again >>741755
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>741942
fall in love with a passing orc
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>741942
Daydream about when we wuz kangs n shit
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>741942
>>741936
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>741942

> Check back on that one guard we tramatized. Talk to him..
>>
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>>741946
Somewhat happier times
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>741951
Do the dragon dance
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>741951
wot
when was that
also talk to the guard again
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>741951
>>741945
he has a nice hair
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>741954
>>
>>741954
Around the time when staves and drakwondo were invented
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>741951

> Talk to guard. Make the subject something lite. Such as the unjust persecution of your people...
>>
>>741957
When was that?
>>
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>>741955
What orc
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>741964
oh that one passing by non chalantly
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>741964
Practice some drakwondo with the block on your back to impress the messiah
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>741964

It's your mind playing tricks. You still remember that nice orc that complimented you back when all the tribes were enslaved and shipped to the kingdom. Both orcs and dragons were shipped together and you had a friendship of sorts
>>
>>741963
Civ Thing Part 8, Turn 45
>>
>>741964
let's just go and casually slide our tail on guard-san's crotch
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>741964

> The orc that is discreetly talking to the messiah behind the guards back
>>
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>>741968
"ey! Don't play with the building materials"
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>741977
go back to work, but seductively have your tail slide down Guard-San's crotch
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>741977
Ask the guard if that was impressive
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>741977

Attempt to finish the construction.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>741977
passing orc
cries in the corner
now he'll never get noticed by the pretty dragon
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>741977

> "Like what you see little man?"
>>
>>741983
oh wait I cant control npcs sorry op.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>741977

Clean that blood of your face. A pretty lady shouldn't use blood as make up
>>
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>>741983
What passing orc, Mr. Toodumbtorememberyoucan'tcontrolNPCs?
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>741987
I said I was sorry!
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>741987
Wink at the guard
>>
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>>741989
Too bad
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>741992
throw some rocks around
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>741987

> "Like what you see little man?"

God dammit...

I'm not going to roll another 98 for the rest of the game...
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>741992
why are you trying to hurt me!
I thought this was a safe place! Safe for anons
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>741992
Realize the workday is over and nobody was here to see your block juggling
>>
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>>741994
"So this is what you do in your freetime"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>742000
reveal that you were fascinated with barbarians and absorbed their culture to the fullest.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>742000
some how complete the project
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>742004
this
>>
>>742003
fucking barbarians now I have to compete ham fisting my race with another ham fister.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>742000

This:

>>742004
>>
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>>742003
"Oh really?"
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>742012
play some rock music to prove it.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>742012
no
swear to never try to imitate any other race, and to only do dragon things
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>742012
j/k giggle
looky the projects done
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>742012

> Strike a sick-nasty barbarian pose as proof
>>
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>>742015
Done
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>742012

Clean your face
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>742020
realize that you don't have any own culture and cry in the corner
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>742020
Sweet, but it must be late now, go take your dinner
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>742020
Flirt with Messiah
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>742020

> Ask the guard something...
>>
>>742028

You know what, fuck the dice god...

I'm joining dice satanism...
>>
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>>742025
"Alright, so what'll it be today? This comically large haunch of meat or this hot bowl of soup?"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>742034
Soup! Gotta watch your figure
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>742034
Both
And ask him if he's free tonight
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>742034
both
we are growing girl
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>742034
Meat to help our nonexistent boobs to grow

Needs nutrients

Also hiss at Slutha for having bigger boobs than us
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>742034

> [seductively] "You know I like it *hot* baby."
>>
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>>742040
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>742045
Bloodface turns brighter red in hatred
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>742045
What did that bitch choose anyway
Also, go sit with the messiah
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>742045

> Wait, our mouths are unbound? What exactly is stopping us from incinerating everything within 1000 leagues?
>>
>>742049
CGI guy is not paid enough
Also because it's hard to eat through your nose
>>
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>>742046
>>
>>742049
Wizards
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>742054
>>742048
>What did that bitch choose anyway
>Also, go sit with the messiah
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>742054

This:

>>742059
>>
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>>742059
Soup. Which is also what's the messiah is having
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>742066
talk about being slaves and stuff
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>742066

Ask him for date.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>742066
Entire body apart from face turns brighter red from arousal
>>
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>>742068
"Ah yes, things have been terrible indeed. Our tribe is in shambles and freedom still seems far away. But I hope none of you have given up yet"
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>742073
Try to seduce the messia again
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>742073
We sure did not
Grumble about manlets being free
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>742073

> Swoon

> Say something dramatic and revolutionary to impress messiah-sempai
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>742073
Talk about the future of the dragon race
>>
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>>742076
AND NOW, WHAT SUPER DRAMATIC AND REVOLUTIONARY THING WILL YOU SAY?

A. Dragons may die but the dragon spirit will live on forever
B. If we die, we die heroes deaths. But we will not die. No. It is the enemy that will taste death and defeat.
C. Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks
D. I'm my own master nooooooooooowwwwwwww
E. [Dragon growls]
F. Something else
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>742095
C
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>742095
A obviously
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>742095
E combine with entire body turning red out of rage for dramatic effect
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>742095
>B. If we die, we die heroes deaths. But we will not die. No. It is the enemy that will taste death and defeat.
>>
>>742095
Is that a rock hitting a guard?
>>
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>>742099
"Good, good. Don't let that spirit die."
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>742109
Barbs are at it again... Look behind you messiah, shits going down.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>742109

> *Squint* "Hey. What are those humans doing up there?"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>742109

"Good... Don't you mind if I become Broodmother for you?"
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>742109
Help that barbarian out and kill guards
>>
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Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>742109
FREEDOM IS UPON US

>captcha
>>
>>742120
Its warning us about something
>>
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>>742111
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>742123
call barbarian a wuss
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>742123
So now that is sorted, does he have a plan or something to get us out of here ?
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>742123
Call barb a wuss
>>
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>>742124
Called him a wuss
>>
>>742133
What does he think of the other races anyway
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>742133
Throw a massive boulder for the barb to use
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>742133
while guards are distracted make a run for it
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>742133
Ask if we can we eat that barbarian
>>
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>>742138
The guard responsible for you notices your escape, he will now pursue
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>742149
Shake that booty while running to distract him
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>742149
Escaping ? Nooooo, we were just getting more soup !
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>742149
Run like hell. Also can we fly at all?
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>742149
GOTTA GO FASTER
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>742149


Supporting this:

>>742150
>>
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>>742150
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>742160
Keep making lewd movements to stop him while you escape
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>742160
escape in nearby district
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>742160

Look at those haunted eyes...

Also, supporting this:

>>742163
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>742160
>>742163
>>742168

I support this too.
>>
I dropped a quick review of this quest on /qtg/ as part of my outreach program. >>742170
>>
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>>742163
"Hrrrmmm...C'MON! FOCUS!" He then smacked himself to resist your lewd movements
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>742180
LEWDNESS INTENSIFIES
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>742180
IT'S WORKING, keep shacking, that pervert likes it
Also your tail seems hitting some stuff around, but whatever, not a big deal
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>742180
Moar LEWDS!
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>742180

Suddenly stop and let the guard crash into our ass...
>>
>>742178
>Admittedly, the QM is going along with it well, because despite how weird the insane protagonist is being, the world does not give a shit. It just keeps moving on.

you ain't see nothing yet, nigga
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>742180

He will break...

Supporting this:

>>742184
>>
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>>742184
You increased your lewd movements, in turn he increased in pysching himself up to focus on catching you and not gawk at your butt
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>742198
check your surroundings real quick
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>742198
Keep trying to distract with lewdness!
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>742198
Lure him in to running into a foreign object while he's distracted from trying to ignore our sexiness
>>
>>742198
occasionally have your tail lift up and flash him your butthole
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>742207
FFFUCK
>>
>>742208
>not replying to OP
Oh well
>>
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>>742201
You're heading towards either the Old District - full of crumbling houses and conviniently placed walls that can be used as obstacles Or the Shopping District - full of random shops that also have conviniently placed stalls that can be used as obstacles
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>742214
old district
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>742214
shopping district. and flash the guard our butthole to distract.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>742214
shop district
gotta drop all the apples on the ground
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>742214

>Old district
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>742214
Old district

And pray that members of the Barbarian Revolutionary Movement is hiding there and they throw bricks n shit
>>
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>>742216
"THE SHOPPING DISTRICT?! THERE'RE CIVILLIANS TH---!!!!!!.....HRRRRGHYOU WON'T GET AWAY!"
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>742230
flip every shopping stall there is, preferably ones with apples and other roundy fruits and vegetables
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>742230

> Continue sexy escape. Start making lewd dragon modes to continue psyching out the guard.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>742230
check his boner level while running conveniently picking up phallic looking objects and sucking at them seductively
>>
>>742244

*Moans

Fucking autocorrect...
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>742230
>>742244
supporting!
>>
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>>742236
"HEY! THIS IS DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY! YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE!"
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>742257
In his confusion to avoid your lewdness, he went the wrong way
Keep being lewd btw
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>742257
Seductively shout out *HOW BIIIIIIIG*? while still wiggling you ass towards him, occasionally flashing your butthole
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>742257
Turn around and slice him in half with our claws. We're like 10x his size
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>742257
blame everything on eastern action dramas you watched way too much
Also suddenly a lot of empty boxes
>>
>>742261
Oh wait, that's controlling a NPC
Just be lewd then
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>742257

> Woah. That guardsman has some crazy ups for a human. Become slightly aroused. Channel that arousal into your escape.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>742257
running and continued lewdness is a requirement!
>>
how hilarious would it be if the guy who kills us through anal sex is the guard?
>>
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>>742261
Ah yes! He suddenly disappeared, he must have went the wrong wa---Oh wait no, he climbed onto the buildings and is now attempting to jumpt onto you from the rooftops
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>742281
DO THE BARREL ROLL
>>
>>742277

Death by Snoo-Snoo!
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>742281
try to get out of his way, and as he lands smother him with dragon titties!
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>742281
position yourself so that you can slam your ass on him when he lands
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>742281

Holy shit, this guard is ridiculously good at his job...

> Forcefully flick a cart at the guard with your tail
>>
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>>742283
You do a barrel roll to dodge. Your wing also managed to smack the guard in mid-air during your roll and send him crashing into a shops window. This should buy you some time.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>742301

>Run the fuck away

Have I slighted you somehow OP?

>>742291
>>742270
>>
>>742291
>>742308

The dice god seem to like you.
>>
>>742308
It aint me. You just posted those too late
>>
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>>742308
Runnin'
>>
>>742313

I denounced the dice god...

>>742031

All these glorious rolls is thanks to dice Satan...
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>742326
shit boi's gonna ambush us JUMP!
>>
>>742335
OH FINALLY. I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA END THIS ADVENTURE WITHOUT GETTING A SINGLE (YOU) FROM OP.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>742326
Maybe he isn't trying to arrest us anymore ?
>>
I can understand the king being overpowered because he's the fucking king, but why everybody in the kingdom is overpowered? Even the lowliest guards are hyper efficients and I bet a kingdom janitor could kick a rampaging barbarian's ass casually just because
>>
>>742341
Nah. Barbarians just suck balls at everything when they don't have their meteor spam spell
>>
>>742340

Honestly, at this point, I'm convinced that this guardsman is some kind of living god...

I suggest that we have the dragon take him as her mate...
>>
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>>742335
The guard managed to grab onto your tail as you jumped.

>>742341
Well, most of the opposition so far have been the Kingdom's military. Which is trained by the King and his brothers. The normal civillians are still normal civillians. But watch out for those janitors though, they're pretty strong yeah.

Also maybe because barbarians suck

suck penis to be exact

it's canon
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>742355
Push over a woman whose with her kid as a distraction. It turns out to be Elf mom and the smiling son.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>742355
Moan lewdly and tell him that no one's ever touched you there yet. Try to look for somewhere secluded to land on

>>742355
Barbarians being gay is my favorite contribution to the lore.
>>
>>742359
Change that to 'grab a woman with her child' instead of push.
>>
>>742363
OH SHIT PRAISE DICE GOD.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>742355

> Multiple tail whips into building.

> Blow him a kiss
>>
>>742363
>>742335
>two 99 in a row
woah
Don't spend all your luck anon
>>
>>742355

Ah, fair enough. I just found puzzling how even tribe heroes who were powered beyond what mere mortals can and lived and breathed war were so easily chased off and repelled by average guards (assuming here that average means being ass kicking machines)
>>
>>742374
I already did, I'm failing my Cisco Class
>>
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>>742363
In other news, with all the running and jumping you've beeing doing, you managed to shake off the fatigue from your wings and can now fly again. Plus since you ran when the guards were distracted, you could probably fly over the city walls back into the tribal lands. But this will be your only chance!

Also your escape would mean that now security will be tighter for the rest of the dragons.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>742386
Well fuck it let's escape to a sex cave or something and rape the guard
>>
>>742363
Well apart from Barbmom we never saw any male barbarians plus we never saw them reproduce naturally
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>742386
Fly away. Like a rainbow in the sky.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>742386

Escape. The other dragons are fated to be anally killed anyways, specially that slut of slytha
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>742386
Follow the teaching of the messiah and flee, the dragon spirit will continue outside the walls of this wrecked city
Also keep the guard with you
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>742386
Time to escape to the Eastern Lands
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>742386

>Escape from the city. Make obscene gestures at the guard clinging to your tail until he releases his grip
>>
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Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>742389
"!!! SHE'S TRYING TO FLY OVER THE WALL!"

The guard will attempt to climb up and stop you. roll 2d100.

Hopefully dice god will stop being a dick and let you escape.
>>
Rolled 50, 26 = 76 (2d100)

>>742401
FUCK THAT DIRECTION ABORT ABORT

TO THE EASTERN LANDS
>>
Rolled 18, 23 = 41 (2d100)

>>742401
There goes our hope and dreams. For the non-Elves at least.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>742401
Fucking
Dice god
>>
Rolled 91, 2 = 93 (2d100)

>>742401

Try to keep the guard in hand...

Could be useful for information, or pleasure...
>>
Rolled 42, 59 = 101 (2d100)

>>742404
>>742401
I fucked that up
>>
Rolled 44, 14 = 58 (2d100)

>>742401
FCK YOU BUILT ME UP JUST TO BRING ME DOWN HARD DICE GOD. THIS BETTER BE DOUBLE 90S
>>
Rolled 100, 89 = 189 (2d100)

>>742401
fucking dice god
>>
>>742414
SO CLOSE
>>
>>742414
Hope?
>>
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>>742402
Well shit, before you could even get past the wall, the guard climbed up and gave you a tap on the head, making you lose your balance and crash down to the ground.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>742420
Fuck this. Maim and kill the guard already
>>
>>742420
Suplex guard into unconsciousness
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>742420
Ask the guard why humans hate dragons so much
While he is distracted, look for an escape route
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>742420

>Boss fight begin: Slut-dragon vs The Guard-Emperor of Guardkind

>Begin!
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>742420

Rape the guard in Broodmother style.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>742426
>>742420
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>742428
giving you my roll bro. We're fated to die by anal devastation, I'm feeling lucky about our chances
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>742439
Not necessarily
>>742426
This gaurd needs to die
>>
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>>742425
Alright, bossfight officially started, let's hope dice god has stopped messing with you.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>742420
rape the guard. to death!
>>
>>742442
He's mating material

Too good to die
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>742448
Swipe our right claw and try to decapitate him
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>742448

>We have no choice. We must initiate our ultimate technique.

> Draconic seduction style: Lizard sex phenomenon blast!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>742448
SUPLEX GUARD INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>742448
Engulf guard in butthole. It's the only way.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>742448
Throw that useless calamity ring at the guard
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>742449
I fucking hope OP picks this one
>>
>>742449
>>742456
>>742460
This is fucking weird
>>
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>>742449
Attempting to pin guard down so that you can rape him. Ya know, ta death.

But he dodged. Maybe next time.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>742464
>>742453
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>742464

>We have no choice. We must initiate our ultimate technique.

> Draconic seduction style: Lizard sex phenomenon blast!

>Initiate feint, surprise tail whip.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>742464
Wait, why aren't we fleeing right now ?
Fly real high
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>742462
We have been trying to rape the guard since the start of the quest until you elves tried to divert attention to Messiah face it brah. Hot Dragon Human Action or nothing

>>742464
>To death
We're just gonna rape him to the point where he ahegaos and mindbreaks. Anyway try and see if we can breathe fire again by searing the ground below him. His armor is gonna conduct that heat nice and warm
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>742464

You have seen already enough about the King's guards movements. They are swift, strong and can take down even a dragon. Your only choice is to outsmart him, do something unpredictable as you bet he has been trained in how to handle dragons
>>
>>742469

This is a boss fight anon...

Everyone knows that you can't run away from a boss fight...
>>
>>742475
You're fucking weird and probably an orc
>>
>>742479

That anon could be a Slaaneshi demon, and we'd never even know...
>>
>>742479
>implying
MC Herbalist was one of the people who started out this path to Guard Sex. Don't think you poofs are that pure yet.
>>
>>742483
Well there were a lot of weird and sexually deviant Orc players if I recall. Manlet as well.
>>
>>742490
We were the tribe who raped dragons with fruit. Of course.
>>
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>>742466
And another dodge, he's gonna punce and punch you soon, better engage evasive maneuvers
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>742494
Engage in evasive maneuvers
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>742494
parry him
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>742494
Just use drakwondo
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>742499
while breathing fire
>>
Taunt the guard
>>
>>742494
distract him with schwarma!
>>
welp it's 2AM. Time to sleep, I have classes in 7. Hopefully we still alive after I wake up hopefully around 3 or 4. (Don't judge me, I slept like 16 hours today.)
>>
>>742509

Okay...

See you soon...
>>
>>742509
>A degenerat human fucker is gone
Rejoice!
>>
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>>742499
Ah yes, the dragon tribe patented Drakwondo, a martial art that utilizez a dragon's body....which in this case amounts to quickly using your tail to block the punch
>>
>>742516

I'm still pretty degenerate...

So, your still going to have to deal with...

L E W D N E S S
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>742520
use the tail to wrap him up and crush him!
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>742520
Do a barrel roll while breathing fire
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>742520
Use drakwondo to break his neck
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>742520
grab him, all the lewd moves we did earlier surelly weakened him
And breath fire btw
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>742520

>Flash privates to guard, then side swipe him with your tail while he is flustered.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>742520

Create a smokecloud with your firebreath and escape while he can't see and has trouble breathing with all the smoke
>>
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>>742525
He had to roll with you to escape the fire
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>742542
Spin around and roll so fast that we create a hurricane
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>742542
Keep rolling and make the guard dizzy! Also breathe fire!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>742542
Become rolling buddies
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>742542
Keep rolling, but lewdly
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>742542

Let's try >>742536 again
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>742542

> Continue fighting with guardsman. Over time your conflict slowly begins to resemble the elaborate and erotic mating dances of your ancestors.
>>
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>>742548
Internally wondering if all dragons are like this
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

Taunt the guard!
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>742558
>>742544
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>742558
Make a smokescreen, and escape while he is distracted
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>742558
We'll make him crack eventually! Keep up the lewdness!
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>742558

>Time to finish this guardsman off. Release the reptile sex pheromones!
>>
I am pleased at the direction this thread is taking.
>>
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>>742572
Of course you would
>>
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Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>742568
"Oh god what the shit"
Right, you know how it goes, roll 2d100 yadda yadda, Dice God pls
>>
Rolled 57, 51 = 108 (2d100)

>>742578
Dice Gods pls!
>>
Rolled 85, 94 = 179 (2d100)

>>742578
>>
Rolled 21, 25 = 46 (2d100)

>>742578
After all the failed seduction attempts... :D
>>
>>742580
>>742581
ALRIGHT NOBODY POST NOW
>>
Rolled 10, 32 = 42 (2d100)

>>742578
I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore.
>>
Rolled 29, 88 = 117 (2d100)

>>742578

Rolling...
>>
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>>742581
"mmmrrghhhmm...bhmmmbuh?"
>>
>>742581

Ha ha oh wow. This must be that guard's most bizarre day in his life
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>742595
grab him and fly toward the sunset
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>742595
Keep seducing and being lewd, he's about to break!
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>742595
Tell him to take our hand so we can fly away and live together in peace
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>742595
Fly away with him to make babies outside the kingdom
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>742595

> [seductively] "Come get some, little ape."
>>
Poor OP...

Do you think he thought he'd be facilitating an interspecies porno when he got up this morning?
>>
>>742614
Isn't it every man's dream to facilitate an interspecies porno?
>>
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>>742602
And so you fly away with your uh...mate..hmm and escape the kingdom. Winning you this session. And also maybe a slot in Civ Thing 2 for Half-Dragons..hmmm.

Well this is certainly not what the guard expected when he checked in for work today.
>>
>>742624

Woooo!
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>742624
So what happened to Slytha
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>742624
So what now? Are we going to rotate and play as a different character or can we move on to civ thing 2 now?
>>
>>742630
also curious!
>>
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>>742631
There's still episode 10, which is the last episode dealing with killing Brock.

So now...filler, with only the Elf Kid left.
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>742639
What's that sign for if nothing is there? Take a closer look at it,
>>
>>742630
Well take your pick:
A. Died of dysentery
B. Killed in the string of Dragon serial killings
C. Caught the eye of some noble and was bought to be his dragon wife
D. Died of old age
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>742639
Be the sign
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>742639
check that sign out!
>>
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>>742642
Whaat, it's nothing, I'll just remove it...
>>
>>742644
>C. Caught the eye of some noble and was bought to be his dragon wife
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>742651
That sign right there. Take a look at it and touch it.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>742651
Select the sign. (not what's behind the sign; be the sign)
>>
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>>742656
What sign
>>
>>742667
Uh. I guess there isn't any sign. Looks like Elf kid next.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>742667
but it was just there...

elf kid it is.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>742667
BEHIND THE ELF KID
>>
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>>742680
Right, anyway. We return to Elf Kid, who is reporting to your uncle about how you just cleared out a den of conspirators with your other uncle. Also there was this weird gardener lady that was just here but is now gone, what was up with that, weird. Anyway, what do?
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>742696
Tell him you killed nearly all of them thanks to our training
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>742696
ask the king if we have a quest
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>742696
Get distracted by some butterfly because we're a kid.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>742696

Sit in uncle's lap...
>>
>>742624
hey we're not dead. Sweet. Welp back to dreamland
>>
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>>742701
"Hmmm, very good kiddo, very good. Did you manage to find out what their plans are too? And you said "nearly all of them", so what happened to the rest?"
>>
>>742708

Hey, that was a quick nap mate...

You missed the seduction, and subsequent mating of, the uber-guardsman...
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>742717
I'm pretty sure other uncle got them. Also we found about a bunch of books about the tribes and they said something about abducting dragons I think
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>742717
Other uncle beat them to a pulp
Also, what happened to that dragon that escaped not to long ago ?
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>742717
I killed all the ones I could see and other uncle got the plans
>>
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>>742722
"Oh?...That one...Well the Dragon Messiah might have escaped our grasp but we'll find him soon, don't worry"
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>742747
offer to find the dragon messiah
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>742747
Go wander off and don't worry.
Find something to try the amulet on.
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>742747
I'm going to look for that gardener lady who was just here
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>742747
Do you still have the mirror ?
Use its power on him
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>742747

Supporting:

>>742750
>>
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>>742754
Yes, time to test out the amulet of telekinesis that you got from the secret conspirator base.This rock seems like a good test subject.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>742764
Use it on the king's crown
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>742764
Rocks suck. Let's get it out of our sight by floating it away
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>742764
Try to use telekineses too hard and poo yourself a bit.
>>
>>742764

>Channel telekinetic power

>"I'm the greatest psyker in the universe!"
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>742776

>Forgot to roll

Fuck!
>>
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>>742769
whoosh
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>742780

> "Woah, neat!" See if you can use the amulet to make yourself float.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>742780
But why would someone put a rock there...?
Use telekenisis to dig under the rock, there must be some secret treasure!
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>742780
Dig where the rock was
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>742780
Now stand on the rock while you're lifting it. Achieve hoverrock
>>
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>>742786
Yep, that's dirt
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>742797
Hover the ground under our feet and create the futuristic method of travel.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>742797
Wait are our eyes glowing?
Maybe we're magic and not the amulet?
Try telekinesis without the amulet.
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>742797
Go to the markets. We can get stuff like boards and use it to our own stuff.
>>
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>>742801
>>
>>742797

Supporting:

>>742801
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>742818
Go to where the tribes use to be. Surely we know it from reading all those tomes
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>742818

>The skies belong to you. Your power is supreme declare yourself supreme overlord of generic fantasy land.
>>
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>>742828
YOu can hear your mom yelling that you should remember to return home before dinner
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>742844
oh, shit, dinnertime! Git some!
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>742844
Okay mom. I'm off to learn about the world.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>742844
Proceed to the ancient elven forest
>>
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>>742848
Right, now where would you want to go first?
A. Crater lake that used to be the first elven forest
B. Crash site of the second elven forest
C. Ruins of the barbarian village
D. The mountains where manlets and dragons lived
E. The battlefield where your uncle defeated the tribes
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>742872
Battlefield
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>742872
A
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>742872
>B
>>
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>>742875
According to the books you read in the conspirators den, this lake used to be a crater before the barbarians dug a channel to the nearby river and filled it with water. And before that it used to be an elven forest, before the barbarians used their heretical magic to summon a meteor and smash it into the forest
>>
>>742872
B. Crash site of the second elven forest
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>742891
Fucking Barbs. They should have another fortress nearby. Look there
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>742891
dive
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

look around for barbarians
>>
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>>742896
Ah yes, the ruins of the second barbarian fortress, built near the crater lake in an attempt to expand their territory.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>742913
look for barbarian artifacts
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>742913
We should piss on it to display our disdain for them!
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>742913
look for things to take with you
>>
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>>742920
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>742925
Look for things to loot.
They must've left something behind.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>742925
Look for something barbarian to fight
>>
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>>742930
With all the barbarians being captured in the arena, you probably won't find any barbarians to fight amongst these ruins
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>742944
Find an orc then
>>
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>>742946
Orcs also suffered the same fate as the barbarians and are all captured in the arena. In fact, you probably won't find anything to fight out here at all. Yep, this place is completely safe with no surprise enemies jumping out at the last second.
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>742967
Visit the Eastern Lands fuck this place everything is gay
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>742967
But the archives said something about an ancient enemy, seeking orc and elf blood,
An enemy that struck fear into the ancient tribes' hearts.
The Jasons.
We must seek them.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>742967
Let's explore for local wildlife. I'm sure there's still some forest creatures that dwell around these pets and they're friendly. Right?
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>742967
Get a souveneir anyway
>>
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>>742973
Yes like, this bunny
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>742983
CAN WE KEEP IT
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>742983
keep the cute bunny and go back home
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>742983
Take the bunny. We'll keep it as a pet and souvenir from the old forest.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>742983
Levitate it
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>742974
Oh, hello not-evil bunny!

Pet the bunny
>>
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>>742985
OH NO! THE BUNNY IS KILLED BY A MONSTER! According to the books, these abominations were created when barbarians obtained a cursed sword from the Orcs which they then broke into many, many pieces and threw into the lake. The pieces then exert their dark energies, forming bodies made out of mud, rock, bark and various other things. Now they hunt for the blood of orcs and elves. AND YOU'RE AN ELF! OH NO! IT MUST HAVE CAUGHT YOUR SCENT!
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>743018
Hover away to the kingdom as fast as possible..
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>743018
Try to use our Telekinesis and strip it of its limbs which are made of mud and other natural materials
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>743018
Kill it.
We ain't no regular peasant.
We're a demigod, but most importantly, we're a trained guard.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>743018
Safely levitate out of reach
Levitate it, too and go back to the kingdom with it
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>743018
WAIT THE BUNNY IS STILL BREATHING
HANG IN THERE MR ROGERS
>>
>Orc and elf freedom outside the kingdom is impossible due to the slasher villains
Fuck
>>
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>>743025
Dangit, it won't stay still! It's trying to break your hold!
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>743048
Break it's arm off
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>743048
Use your guard training and fight it
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>743048
Lead him to the paladins who are good at banishing heretical sword monsters.
Also for the love of god stay on your hoverdirtmound
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>743048
Throw our hovering piece of dirt on it and fully focus our telekinectic powers on it.
>>
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Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>743067
Attempting to lure it to the nearest paladins so it can be purged.

As always, roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 74, 51 = 125 (2d100)

>>743080
EZ PZ
>>
Rolled 35, 15 = 50 (2d100)

>>743080
>>
Rolled 17, 17 = 34 (2d100)

>>743080
We probably could've used our telekinesis to spray it with water until it broke down
>>
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>>743081
The foolish abomination fell for your bait and followed you right into the waiting arms of a nearby paladin squad. It was promptly purged from this land.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>743102
Study the paladins' moves and try to learn from them
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>743108
This
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>743102
Is that paladin a skeleton by any chance ?
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

Levitate it's body into the sun turning it to ash.
>>
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>>743108
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>743120
You have seen the purge, now you have to practice it
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>743120
Learn a new technique.
Deus Vult
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>743120
Huh, so that's how you do it...
Assimilate holy paladin combat moves thanks to demigod dickery
>>
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>>743125
Then perhaps you might have to head out into the tribal lands again to lure out some more monsters
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>743134
Fuk the tribal lands lets go to the eastern lands
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>743120
>>743134
Let's go to where the second Elf forest crashed.
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>743134
Well I mean we should go borrow that weab helmet the orcs had to find our old forest.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>743134
check out the manlet/dragon lands to find what abominations are left
and by abominations I mean surviving dragons
>>
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>>743138
First, according to the archives, the helmet was destroyed during the battle between your uncle and the tribes. Second, since when did you live in a forest? And third, the second elven forest crashed into the ground near the battlefield.

Anyyway, I'll have to hold this off for now. Damn weather gave me a cold and I've been coughing so much i feel like the I'm going to eventually cough up my lungs. Plus I got a sudden headache. So we'll continue later.


Updates:
https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
See ya.
>>
>>743176
Later NaP.
>>
>>743176
Don't die OP
>>
Are dragons the most successful race?

Every time we played as them, we survived and escaped

Ignoring the fact that there's only two pureblood dragons left of course
>>
>>743520
>All but 2 of race buttraped to death
>Are we the most successful race?
>>
>>743520
Pretty sure the undead win on this one.
>Converted every single orc, a barb and some skeles
>>
>>743520
Elves are the most successful. We have the most powerful being on our side, in the shape of the King being Elf kids uncle
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

Dang it. Fell asleep again. Goddamn vitamin D deficiency
>>
>>743102
So that's around 3 of them down? Were there 4 or 5 of them? I don't remember well
>>
>>744335
5 shards. 3 are dead. 1 was made into a dagger and left behind in conspirator hideout.
>>
>>744335
I thought there were a dozen or so in total. 5 chasing after the elves and 6 chasing after the Orcs or vice versa. Several have been lost since then.
>>
>>743789
This. All other races are you even trying?
>>
>>745349
>>743789
>corpse eating slave race where king fucks your royalty and raises your only hope
>successful
>>
>>745366
>penis sucking failures
>having any place to speak
>>
>>745518
>using lore added just cause barbarians are comedic relief as an insult to the only barbarian player who did nothing wrong
you could try harder or something
>>
>>745543
>this much denial
>>
>Elves
>More successful than Manlets
Literally sans the Elf Prince and the king's cum dump all of you are slaves. I'd argue the Orcs are more successful than the Elves too since after Hooded Bones came in and talked to them, they've all been inducted into the church to fight for their waifu in heaven.

It obviously goes

Manlets (Have Jobs, good ones like adventurer, mad scientist, baker, and fun shit like Manlen Rider) > Orcs (Aside from being inducted to the one true god, they're still the same deviant weebs before the aftermath, granted there's probably only like a handful of them left, also I'm fucking biased) > Dragons (literally the only tribe who didn't fucked up and killed their protag and could actually sideline into Civ Thing 2 or later stories) >
Elves (Salt Monster worshiping slave weirdos sans high priestess and son) > Skeletons (on the run and probably gonna die if Hooded Bones don't step in or some shit, even so seeing Fred they're not gonna take kindly to change) > Barbarians (Gay and literally just 1 guy is left)

>>743672
What are you talking about? Sans Hooded Bones every single one of them is on the run, there were no skeletons in the colosseum so none of them were converted. Fuck Skelebro died trying to convert Fred.
>>
>>745349
>your own hero getting cucked by the King
>betrayed by his own tribe
>successful
>>
>>746236

>Dragons (literally the only tribe who didn't fucked up and killed their protag and could actually sideline into Civ Thing 2 or later stories)

Thanks to Slut-Dragon's weird kinks and sexual degeneracy we might have a new race...

Fear not my friends, so long as the Dragons survive, I solemnly vow to ensure that they keep pumping out creepy, half-breed abominations to replace dead races with...
>>
>>745366
>>745543
>>746236
>>746269
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Keep downplaying and falsifying facts because you all know that Elves are the only faction haven't been assraped to death both literally and metaphorically. They're all comfy as house servants and magicians while manlet protagonists are getting killed left and right and all the others races are slaves on the verge of extinction.
>>
What are you nerds arguing about now?
>>
>>746369
Salt mines placement.
>>
>>746357
Not an argument.

You have yet to refute the fact you guys are the most cucked race
>>
>>746503
Elves have procreated with any other races and the only times sodomy took place, it was completely consensual.
>>
>>746510
>Elves have NOT procreated with any other races and the only times sodomy took place, it was completely consensual.

Small typo
>>
>>746236
Oh shit I missed that part
>>
>>746797
Which part?
>>
>>746855
Skelebro fucking up and pissing off fred.
>>
>>746857
Barbarians dead(?) or alive are all social autists anyway

>their way of greeting a travelling dragon is with rocks
>>
>>746928
Don't forget

>Attacking the Elves on their home turf and openly admitting to wanting to rape their women is self defense
>>
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Alright,w ho's here
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>749379
sup

don't forgetti to punch your face with spaghetti
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>749379
Punch self in face and lose control of the floating earth you're on
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>749379
rocks
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>749381
Nah, that'd be retarded
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>749384
travel to the dragon caves
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>749385
Currently being excavated for stuff
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>749386
magic out a better hat, like a beanie with a propeller, so you can fly better or something
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>749386
is there any chicken bones?
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>749387
Sadly you don't know the Hat Conjuring spell
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>749393
what spells do you know?
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>749393
Head west and look for where the Manlet's promised land
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>749394
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>749396
>>749395
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>749396
sing a happy song while wandering through the wasteland that once was the fertile land inhabited by the tribes.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>749396
weaksauce,
go learn more, is there not kingdom unlicensed spell school nearby?
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>749396
fug it

maybe you can have a dragon scale hat in the caves, that should be cool and shit
>>
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>>749400
"Ah! I heard you're interested in Dranscale related items, my boy! Perhaps I can interest you in my fine selection of Dragonscale clothing!"
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>749401
give me your bestest hat

put it on the King's tab, merchat man
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>749401
do you have baseball dragonscale caps?
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>749401
Got the Gold stuff?
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>749401
rob this schlomo
levitate him and smash him into the ground
>>
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11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>749405
"Of course, clothing and armor made from the Golden Scales of A Dragon Messiah"
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>749409
PIMP HAT

But remember what your cool uncle told you about dealing with dem damn le happy merchants
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>749409
TAKE IT ALL
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>749409
anything more kid sized?
I wanna baseball hat
>>
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10 KB
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>>749411
FLLAAAAASSSSHBAAACK

"Don't trust the merchants with big noses. When one tries to sell you something, punch them in the nose and take their stuff"
>>
Oh wait, someone's at the door, brb
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>749415
PUNCH THE JEW IN THE SCHNOZ AND TAKE HIS STUFF
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>749415
gas the schlooomo with some nasty fart
>>
File: 1.png (16 KB, 500x500)
16 KB
16 KB PNG
>>749418
"bleeugh"

Now which stuff would you take
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>749426
The pimp clothing and the armor
combine the two into one
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>749426
Upper left thing, we don't need another hat
also, honk his nose
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>749426
pimp clothing

wait

wear helmet and pimp hat on top and clothing
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>749426
Gold scale pimp set.
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>749430
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>749433
now that we're dressed for the event,

check where are some tribes we can purge and genocide and all that jazz
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>749433
test out our pimp hand on other jews
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>749433
Continue making mom proud
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>749437
Well okay
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>749438
Stop
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>749438
how did you end up near barbarians tho.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>749438
Beat up the Salt Cult next
>>
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>>749442
BUt now, what is this Salt Cult? You couldn't find any info about it in the Conspirators archives.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>749444
first, you need more powerful spells to beat up tribes more efficiently, check for nearest wizard's tower or witch's den
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>749444
what about my roll? >>749441

fly around and look for cult
>>
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>>749445
Ah yes, you can either go to "Master Malazar's Magical Mysteries" or "Forbidden Arts, and More!"

Or you could go home and ask mom

>>749449
Oh fuck, I misread that. So uh let's say that this is a rogue barbarian that managed to evade capture...until now.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>749451
Forbidden arts sounds cooler

hope the witches are hot
>>
Im still here. Just at work. Cant speak for anyone else tho
>>
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>>749454
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>749456
flip her skirt anyway
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>749456
>>749457
Do it
>>
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>>749459
"Down there are horrors the world is not meant to know, kid. Don't be retarded"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>749456
>big (((nose)))
We know what to do. Uncle taught us well!
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>749460
does she have a cute grandaughter?
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>749460
do it anyway
that's what kids do
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>749460
I wanna learn about Horrors... and Cults. And NotSoHorrifying Cults
>>
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>>749466
"Sure, kid. 10 gold for a 4-week course. 5 for a book"
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>749471
Take course and use Royal Discount
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>749471
put it on the king's tab

give us some juicy dangerous knowledge
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>749471
Punch her and take all the books just like Uncle taught us
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>749471
agree and flip her skirt anyway on way out
>>
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>>749476
[learning in progress]
>>
>>749483
suddenly dark forbidden knowledge, the one from culinary part of other elf quest
>>
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>>749485
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>749488
what book cover says anyway?
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>749488
You're done learning now
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>749488
so what spells did we learn?
>>
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>>749491
After 4 weeks of learning, you've graduated.

Also there was this war in heaven about killing a barbarian god or whatever but you were too busy learning to notice.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>749497
what your skills now? can you resurrect gods?
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>749497
Go see our mom in the department of transmutation or wherever she works
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>749497
did we level up?

get a perk maybe?
>>
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>>749501
But why would you do that though? 'sides nobody can resurrect a god. Only God can.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>749507
fiiiine

check skill inventory anyway
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>749507
but what if we try?
Isn't it interesting, to try to resurrect something what is similar to god.
What can POSSIBLY go wrong?
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>749507
See what spells and abilities we learned
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>749507
run to mommy and show her our shiny certificate
>>
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>>749516
Hmmm, the door's locked
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>749520
Use telekenisis to open it
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>749520
knock like the good boi you are
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>749520

> Telekinesis door off of doorframe...
>>
>>749520
try to open it, or sneak through a window, we gotta show mommy our shiny certificate
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>749520
>>749525
fuck, forgot to roll
>>
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>>749522
Dunno, seems a bit rude innit
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>749529
open it anyway ya wuss
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>749529
Knock and see if we can come in
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>749529

>Nah. We can just telekinesis the door back into the frame and then, *BAM*, Good as new...
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>749529
sneak in through a window
>>
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>>749533
"No, you can't come inside"

"Aww c'mon"

Oh hey, sounds like Uncle is in there too
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>749537
Use a new spell you got to destroy door, enter shouting:
"OOGAH BOOGAH WHERE DA ORK WIMMENS AT"
>>
>>749537
but mommy has to see ou certificate, let's sneak in through a window or use one of our new magic tricks to get through the door
>>
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Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>749537
Come inside
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>749537
>>749539
fuck, stupid dice
>>
>>749538
>implying any sane being is interested in Orc wimmenz
>>
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>>749538
Actually, who do orc women look like anyway? Plus that sounds kinda retarded
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>749544
Tell them that we have something super important to show them
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>749544
>>749545
add it with
It's big, long, it's in my pants, and it has your name on it Mom!
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>749544
Be a nosey kid and break in
>>
>>749543
thought it was ironic ironic because he is elf boy and elves are successful, etc, whatever
>>
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>>749545
"Can it wait? I'm trying to get my...serpent to come inside your mom's...dark void"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>749547
>>749554
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>749554
>>749539
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>749554
Hey, i learned about dark void magic recently!
And then we go in
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>749554
YOU NEVER GIVE ME ATTENTION MOM

FINE I'LL JUST GO BRAG ABOUT MY CERTIFICATE TO SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>749554
>>749539
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>749554

> "Wow! You have a snake in there?! Cool! Can I see!"
>>
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>>749559
"C'mon dear, it'll just be a minute"

"I can pull out and go see his certificate in your places if it'd help"

"Nah bro, we'll be done soon anyway"

Oh hey your other uncle is in there too
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>749562
Shit nigga don't go peepin.
Go find a shiny rock or go look for the victory celebration the paladins are having
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>749562
Things are getting suspicious...
If both uncles are there, mom needs real help...
Maybe they're fighting tho!
OH SHIT,
WE GOTTA GO IN AND HELP
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>749562

> "Maybe they are preparing a cake to celebrate you certificate with?"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>749562
Are you guys and mommy playing the game I played with barbarians?
The one where they hug me really hard....
>>
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>>749566
"It's more like a pie full of cream actually"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>749569
>>749567
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>749569
>>749564
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>749569
Ah, my favourite!
>just open that fuggin door, jesus christ
>>
>>749574

See:

>>749520
>>
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>>749574
Do you really wanna intrude them with your super door busting skills?
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>749579
Yes
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>749579
Y
Lock in
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>749579

> Y

They absolutely gotta see your certificate and sweet new threads
>>
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>>749581
"No, you can't come inside the dark void without the magical coat of protection. Your serpent would not survive"

"BOOOOOOOOO"

Oh hey look, they're playing the popular board game: Cells and Serpents
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>749587
"are ya winnin mom?"
>>
>>749587
... this was the best outcome


Well done, NaP.
>>
>>749587
Kek.
Well done, OP.
Well done.
>>
>>749587
CnC=Cells n Serpants?
>>
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>>749588
"I'm the Game Master, son. I always win"

>>749592
The other curve was missed when I pressed ctrl+s
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>749594
Wait, where's the cream-filled pie?
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>749594
show mom and uncles the spells you have learned
>>
>>749562
>threesome

elves confirmed for fucking degenerates.
>>
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>>749596
Like this Demon summoning spell
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>749603
Not that.
>>