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Last time on EDQ, we traveled to Bretonnia, made Chrysoula bigger and STRONKER, also made our brother a full-on dragon...
And met our Not-Senpai, Adolf Hitler. Who we also turned into a dragon, and got his personal iron cross from.
Oh, and right now we're enslaving some peasants for Chrysoula, Elizabeth, and so we can make a refinery so we can burn down a swamp. And we also accidentally demanded women from a guards in front of our wife.
Whoops.

Twitter: QuestingQM

Character Sheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/edit

Ren?

...Huh? What?

Erh, you awake?

Y-yeah. I was just uh, thinking. About how to please our wife.

Right...

Well... We'll think about it when we get back. We need a LOT more slaves, not just a measly sixty.

Right... So, where are we going?

Well... We could raid villages.

Unless we wanted to raid every single village individually, that would take days. Why don't we try to attack a city or something?

Erh, that would be bad... First of all, we'd get a lot of attention.

It would be faster...

Besides, we only need two-hundred really... I mean, for the refinery. Anything more is just extra.

...I think that can come later. I think we should figure out how to please our wife.

Right...

So, what's the agenda, bossman?

Actions.

>...I think we should figure out a way to please our wife and get her to... Well, get along with our wives.
>I think a good bedding of our wife would suffice. We haven't tumbled her in a while, after all.
>Come on, raiding villages is fun and easy.
>...Fine, I guess we can ACTUALLY go for a challenge and raid a city.
>...Why don't we find a human army or something?
>Isn't there ships? We could be pirates you know, and get more slaves.
>...A refinery sounds boring.
>...Maybe we should ask Elizabeth how many slaves she wants.
>...Guys, how many do you think Chrysoula wants as slaves?
>...We should get Frankizka a slave or two.
>Write-In
>>
>>685264
>...Fine, I guess we can ACTUALLY go for a challenge and raid a city.

I can't believe that I missed and didn't archive EDQ threads 24-29. So much knowledge lost.
>>
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>>685283
You should really, really kill yourself.

Or if you want to, summarize what happened for future generations.
Pic related if no.
>>
>>685291
>Said the gamemaster
Also I'm not the one who usually archieves things. I've only archived one EDQ and one or two NEQ. I'm just disappointed that those aren't archieves.
>>
>>685305
Yeah, just kidding around mang.
I wonder what happened to Hare anyways. He started archiving then stopped.
>>
>>685317
Maybe he moved or something. Perhaps he had just given up on life and this quest
>>
So, I'm thinking a city. Which city though...

Right... So judging from what Frankizka told us, there's only three real "cities" in Bretonnia.

Which are?

Well, Mousilion. But that's our brother's, then we have the capital, Couronne, which is well, you know. Wealthy, capital, and probably highly populated, and then we have D'Ason, which is basically just a small town.

Right... Anything notable about them?

Well, they're HIGHLY protected, apparently, because there's so few cities in Bretonnia. And if we're just looking for a mere two-hundred... I think we should actually just attack a city then.

Actions

>...Man, I love raiding cities. Lots of nomming, chaos... And general blowing shit up.
>...Do you think they have princesses? I mean, this is basically fantasy France.
>Come on, don't you want to enslave the french?
>I say D'Ason, since it's not really important.
>...Our brother won't miss a few Mousilion peasants.
>Let's go all in... The Capital! Maybe we can ransom some captured knights or even the king if we so chose to.
>...Why don't we buy some slaves?
>...Let's just keep raiding villages then.
>Write-In
>>
>>685365
>I say D'Ason, since it's not really important.
>>
D'Ason then.

Right...

You and Elizabeth turn your flight towards D'Ason, and after a few thirty minutes you fly above... There are huge, stone walls surrounding the town, and the city seems not too well populated. Probably a mere 30,000 civilians. In addition there is a rather fancy keep in the middle of the city, and you see trebuchets, catapults, and dozens of archers on the walls... Not to mention a very, very large tower... Which you sense some magic in... Mages?

Actions.

>...Fly elsewhere. It's not worth getting a ballista bolt in your scales.
>...Oooh, Mages... Go for the mage tower first.
>You'll go for the Keep firstly. You know, where all the knights and damsels are.
>You'll just shift into your human form outside of the city... And infiltrate it.
>Walls? Walls.
>...You aren't here for a full-blown destroying a city thing. Burrow underground and try to just pick off some residences by grabbing them and dragging their residents underground.
>...Evil laugh and descend mode? Oh yeah, you know it.
>...You know, why don't you let your wife deal with this while you fly from above?
>You should take care of the siege weaponry, firstly...
>Write-in
>>
>>685412
>...You know, why don't you let your wife deal with this while you fly from above?
I wasn't here for a lot of this. What ever happened to the egg Elizabeth laid? Also how does Elizabeth view her humanity now since I remember she was conflicted about it.
>>
>>685431
She's mostly determined to not be a monster, and is starting to get used to being a dragon. Oh, and her egg hasn't exactly hatched yet, you know.

"Elizabeth?"

"What?"

"Do you want to handle this?"

"...Erh, I've neve-"

"Yes or no?"

"Sure?"

"Good on you!"

Actions.

>Switch PoV to Elizabeth!
>No, you'll just see what she does. (Dice Roll)
>Write-In
>>
>>685443
>Switch PoV to Elizabeth!
Got it
>>
You switch your point of view to Elizabeth.

You are Elizabeth, a huge dragon with a penchant for light-hearted slavery, and your husband has recently told you to enslave a city while he helps from above. This should be entertaining... Though some part of you would rather not actually do what he did last time. You know, threaten people? You were always a good person when it came to slaves... Even if some of them had rather uncivilized cultures.

Of course, now you get to figure out how to do your first slaving operation... Yay?

Actions

>...Erh, maybe you should ask Ren for advice.
>...No, you're a strong independent women. Tell Ren you can do this without his help.
>...Well, maybe you can just take a softer approach to slavery? You know, tell Ren to "attack" while you step in to "save the citizens" or something. And that dastardly Ren escapes with some slaves... It'd be like Shakespear. Sort of.
>Well... You never really imagined yourself in the shoes of a dragon. Maybe you should take the traditional approach?
>...Erh, land outside of the city and shift down. Maybe you can just "hire" some servants?
>Ren has a great evil laugh. Try to replicate it and land smack dab right by the keep. If you can.
>...You are a British Queen. And you will do this with decency. Land in front of the city walls and demand to speak with their leader.
>Write-In
>>
>>685505
>Well... You never really imagined yourself in the shoes of a dragon. Maybe you should take the traditional approach?
>Ren has a great evil laugh. Try to replicate it and land smack dab right by the keep. If you can.
Lmao dragons
>>
I'm continuing this in the morning tomorrow anons. Sorry.
>>
>>685317
Oi faggot, Hare here. I've been busy with muh move, and I'll dig through the yuki.la archives or something and make a pastebin of the archives to put in the OP. But don't worry, I will be back. Don't really have proof I could give ya, but I can link ya to the fantasy civ discord I'm part of (and mentioned in the past) as proof.
>>
>>685755
kys you potato fuck
>>
>>685776
>>685755
Forgetting about me.
>>
>>685317
>>685783
Fuck, right, Inky linked me here and can corroborate my story.

>>685776
Fuck off Obie (with a name like that I
must assume you are Obelix or one of the edgeposters from Nazi Experimental)
>>
>>685799
Shove a potato in you while your at it. And shit it out and eat it. So you get double potatos.
>>
>>685817
Wew, calm down Inquisitor, don't want ya having an anuerysm or something, we all know your 14 year old mind couldn't handle it :^)

Oh fug I attracted shitposters
>>
>>685858
Fuck you my Vast will eat you cock off and fuck Roggar as well.
I could have gotten away with it, now to just get funding for my friends.
>>
>all these edgeposters
>now in EDQ
Shut it down boys, it's all over.
>>
>>685873
Yo Inqui, Trick told me to give you this
>>
>>685884
>>685873
https://discord.gg/CawkM
>>
>>685873
Oh shit, if I had to guess the next shitposter will be Plague followed by Inquisitor or Aksei.

>>685880
It's civ shitposters, sorry, they (Inqui) follow me around
>>
Stop shitting this thread up random civ anons. Take it to the general.
>>
>>685889
>>685884
Your a niggers, go jew a shekel from another Goy. You rat face fuck.
>>
>>685898
This is kind of funny to watch
>>
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>>685900
Try harder.
>>
>>685898
I'm not a civ fag friendo :DDDD
>>
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>>685898
I'm sorry QuestingQM, I honestly have no idea how these faggots got in here.
>>
Civ anons fucking get out unless you want you want to participate.
(((Usernames))) are a mistake.
>>
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>>685916
Here you go QM legit participate sorry about the others

>Well... You never really imagined yourself in the shoes of a dragon. Maybe you should take the traditional approach?
>>
>>685916
"No"
>>
>>685923
Hi Inky, long time no see. What's new?
>>
Well thanks Inqui, Tot, and Obelix, for making me feel like shit for fucking up EDQ. If you feel like shitposting, keep it in the Discord or /qtg/, please don't harass an honestly good QM ;-;
>>
>>685530
Seconding
>>
Didn't realise /b/ infected this thread while I was trying to sleep.

Thank you based Inky.

I can only imagine the discptd.
Probably /b/ tier.
>>
>>685941
>dirty goblin collaborator wanting to talk
kys potato :DDDD
>>
>>685957
Discord, just gonna CTR here.
>>
>>685957
Sorry QM, it really is fine aside from a few stragglers who are shitheads. Tot is just a shitposter from TrickQM's quest who I've asked on the discord multiple times to stop. Sorry.
>>
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This is just stupid.
Anyways supporting this
>>685923
Vote
>>
I can only imagine what fantasy civ and the discord for it are like.
>>
Don't worry about it m8. Hey, maybe new player's join or something.

Fuck now I have to update because I'm woke.
>>
>>685957
Well thanks for that, I show Hare that you're thread was up, but with Hare coming to post, it brought a can of worms.

He was thank full for showing this to him, but for him some reason, coming here brought the others as well, so sorry about that. I'll still want to see that conquistador quest when you go back to it.
>>
You of course, decide to try to replicate Rens evil laugh, and land in the town... Anons, roll me a 1d20+5 for scaring mortals, additional +2 if you can say or do something to terrify them.
>>
Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686020
Ask where can we meet the queen
>>
Rolled 12 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>686020
Do it in a British accent
>>
Rolled 8 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>686020
(Got to go to sleep now, but I may as well try)

If I'm this big, how do you think my husband looks? He's a big guy... For you.
>>
>>686009

Same fsmalam.

Hey, at least my quest gets new attention.

Also Liz already talks in a British accent.
>>
>>686047
Make it extra British
>>
>>685961
>>685927
>>685900
>>685873
>>685817
>>685776
>pretending to be me
Try harder Obelix
>>
Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686020
>>
>>686055
>he think it's me
ayyy senpai i don't ruin people's quests.
>>
>>686070
>implying you didn't ruin our quest
wew lad
>>
You give an evil laugh and land smackdab by the keep, while threatening them that your husband is a big guy.
And they respond by telling in French, some people run, but it seems some knights and soldiers are going to attack you.

Actions

>...Use that draconic brain of yours to understand Frog!
>...You know, you always wanted to do this. As in rampage against the fucking French...
>Knights? Attacking you, a woman? And much less a queen? How unchivalrous! Notify this to them immediately!
>Grab a few peasants!
>You'd like this place with some more snow. Turn on your frost aura.
>Not to sound greedy... But try to find the Treasury.
>Castle? Ooh, investigate!
>Deal with the soldier's and knights the hard way.
>You hate taking human life... Use a gentle frost breath against the peasants or soldiers to enslave them.
>Write In
>>
>>686154
>Knights? Attacking you, a woman? And much less a queen? How unchivalrous! Notify this to them immediately!
>>
>>686154
>...You know, you always wanted to do this. As in rampage against the fucking French...
>You'd like this place with some more snow. Turn on your frost aura.
>>
>>686154
>Knights? Attacking you, a woman? And much less a queen? How unchivalrous! Notify this to them immediately!
>>
You try conversing to the knights, but they fail to understand you and charge with their horses against your feet, damaging you slightly. It mostly tickles, but if they get past your scales there is no defense...

HP: 8,900
Current: 8,500

Actions

>Frost Aura!
>...Erh, Stomp them.
>... Nom them? You'd rather not though... It's uncivilized. (Dice roll to see if she does do it.)
>Fly upwards!
>Try to understand French so you can communicate.
>Laugh? It hurts a little, but you can't let them know that.
>Ignore them for now.
>Write In
>>
>>686217
>>Fly upwards!
>>
>>686217
>Try to understand French so you can communicate.
>>
You take flight upwards... Roll me a 1d20+5 to understand Frog
>>
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686247
>>
>>686217
Hey QQM, i'm that guy from 31 who wasn't Baron! keep up the good work!
>>
Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686247
>>
Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686247
>>
19+5=24

Good Success!

As you quickly take flight you translate their language and speak to the knights.

"How dare you! I land as the Queen of England, a woman, and you vandals assault me! How unchivalrous!"
Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if the knights are distracted or confused...
>>
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>686286
>>
Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>686286
How will we explain what England is?
>>
Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>686286
>>
>>686291
I was about to talk about how we were getting good rolls
>>
Critical Failure!

The knights respond by ignoring you and yelling that your a coward for not fighting them on the ground. Oh, and a small handful charge after you on... Pegasuses? What?

Of course, this distracts you from a trebuchet stone right in your face, and you dear sightly...

HP: 8,900
Current: 7,400

Actions

>Alright, that's it. No more misses nice dragon.
>Go after the knights. If they think your a coward, you'll prove them wrong!
>Pegasus knights vs you. Who wins?
>Take care of the siege engines!
>...Your here for slaves. Go after some peasants...
>The extent of your dishonor and unchivalrous attitude appauls me!
>I'm trying my best not to hurt you!
>Shapeshift?
>Give a menacing glare at the operators of that siege engine that hit you in the face.
>I'm human, like you!
>Turn on frost aura!
>Write In
>>
>>686316
>Pegasus knights vs you. Who wins?
>>
>>686316
>The extent of your dishonor and unchivalrous attitude appauls me!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling

1=Deal with Pegasuses!
2=How appalling!
>>
You decide to deal with the Pegasuses...

Actions

>Fly straight towards them!
>Nom? I mean, you'd rather not... (Dice roll to see if she does Nom.)
>Try to freeze them mid air!
>...You don't want to hurt the horses or Pegasuses if that's what their called. Just try to dehorse them through flapping your wings towards them.
>Nevermind... You have a better idea!
>Try to duck down and suddenly go up so they get on your back?
>What's that game... Chicken? Right, play that.
>Have you ever wanted to serve the British Crown?
>Write In
>>
>>686353
>...You don't want to hurt the horses or Pegasuses if that's what their called. Just try to dehorse them through flapping your wings towards them.
>>
>>686353
>What's that game... Chicken? Right, play that.
What is Liz' intimidate modifier?
>>
>>686366
A good +5.

Also, gonna pass out now. Props to Obelix for trying to keep horses alive.
>>
>>686358
This.
>>
>>686371
Its not our fault if they don't move
>>
Damn, I can't sleep tonight.

Roll me a 1d20+6 anons.
>>
Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>686433
Same. At least I got Black Sabbath as company
>>
Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>686433
>>
12+6=18

Minor Success!

You carefully flap your wings towards the knights, who instead of being dehorse are forced to land on the ground... A ballista bolt passes by your tail and you turn around... A few archers aim their bow towards you, ready to fire.

Actions

>Take care of the Pegasus knights...
>Go for the siege weapons now!
>Take care of the archers!
>Ignore them and go for the civilian.
>Land on the ground besides the Pegasus knights.
>Write In
>>
>>686446
>Land on the ground besides the Pegasus knights.
Diplomacy HO!
>>
>>686446
>Go for the siege weapons now!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Just woke up. And got three hours of sleep.
Fuck yeah.

Rolling.
1=Land on the ground besides the knights.
2=Go for the siege weapons!
>>
Your natural response is... Well, naturally to land on the ground besides the knights. You spend a minute however, attempting to dodge a handful of pesky arrows and a rather nasty Ballista bolt. Most of the scales simply thud off your scales, but a indirect few get stuck and a very select few hit the more weaker parts of your scales... The Ballistia bolt on the other hand, impacts with a thud on one of your scales by your torso, nearly ripping one of your scales off. You of course pull it out with ease and see a tiny bit of blood coming out, but otherwise fine. You make a mental note to deal with the uppity bastard in a little bit, as you turn to the... Charging knights with Pegasuses? Who seem to be charging your feet?
How brave, how remarkable!
How utterly stupid!

Actions.

>Enough of this tom-foolery. Stomp on them. (Strength, HARD)
>Oh, come along now... At least spare the horses. You were always a fan of them. You know what to do? Flick them off of said horses. (Strength, HARD, Unless Great Success and above, you are likely to take damage.)
>Nom? Well... Certainly? (Dice Roll to see if she goes through with it. Strength, HARD)
>Frost Aura. No need to have your feet injured...
>You know, you always wanted loyal knights... As slaves, of course. Try to freeze them with your breath. (Agility, VERY HARD)
>Tell them to lay down their arms or be "utterly and magnificently" squished by the Queen of England. (Intimidation, HARD)
>Calmly lower your head and look at them. Then notify them that it's not really "chivalrous" to attack a noblewoman. (Charisma, HARD)
>Lower your head, and sharply reprimand the fact they are a currently attack their NEW ruler. And that if they continue, the price of treason is death.
>...Ask a brief question, if they like serving their current monarch. Then grab them... (Strength, HARD)
>...Write-in
>>
>>686540
>Oh, come along now... At least spare the horses. You were always a fan of them. You know what to do? Flick them off of said horses. (Strength, HARD, Unless Great Success and above, you are likely to take damage.)
i ain't giving up.
>>
Going to wait an hour anons. Sorry.
>>
>>686540
>Oh, come along now... At least spare the horses. You were always a fan of them. You know what to do? Flick them off of said horses. (Strength, HARD, Unless Great Success and above, you are likely to take damage.)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5
>>
Rolled 4 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686616
>>
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686616
>>
Wew lad.

Critical Success!

You flick the knights off of their horses, utterly knocking them out and sending them flying against the wall, unconscious. The pegauses meanwhile bray and generally start fleeing, terrified of you. This of course, gives you a slight idea...

Actions

>...How cool would it be to return home with a Pegasus as a mount? Grab one of the slower moving Pegauses. Luckily, your hand easily outreaches how fast their moving, allowing this to be a automatic success...
>Their masters don't deserve freedom... Grab them and put them on your back. (Gain 20 Slaves.)
>Try to grab one of the faster ones! (Agility)
>Finish the knights off with a hearty stomp.
>Ignore the Pegasues... It would be cool, but you have bigger concerns.
>Write-In
>>
>>686654
>...How cool would it be to return home with a Pegasus as a mount? Grab one of the slower moving Pegauses. Luckily, your hand easily outreaches how fast their moving, allowing this to be a automatic success...
>Their masters don't deserve freedom... Grab them and put them on your back. (Gain 20 Slaves.)
>>
>>686654
>...How cool would it be to return home with a Pegasus as a mount? Grab one of the slower moving Pegauses. Luckily, your hand easily outreaches how fast their moving, allowing this to be a automatic success...
>Their masters don't deserve freedom... Grab them and put them on your back. (Gain 20 Slaves.)
We out
>>
You grab one of the pegasuses and the knights, putting them on your back. It'll be rather hard to tame both the knights and the pegasus... But you think your up to it.
Also... It's a fucking Pegasus. Some part of you is immensely satisfied simply by owning one.

Of course, you turn your attention to the siege machines... They are quite a nuisance. And it seems the archers are about to fire again, along with the siege weapons...

Actions

>Take to the skies again!
>The siege weapons might hurt a little, but the archers are truly annoying, like ticks... Focus on them again.
>...Maybe Ren would like his own pegasus? Change your attention to grabbing another one for him.
>You always liked large walls, but in this case it's a nuisance. Maybe some professional care may be required? As in crushing the wall?
>...You have your very own pegasus and a handful of enslaved knights. Your rather good on the "personal slave meter" Take off.
>...Some part of you wants to go full draconic overlord. As in go for the civilians. And that's what you intend on doing.
>...You aren't really a slob, but no one will mind if you take a bite out of the wall, and by extension the archers? (Dice Roll to see if she does this)
>Frost Aura, though it may be lethal to anything on your back... And that rather adorable pegasus.
>Try to use your (rather weak) frost breath against the wall!
>Write-In
>>
>>686661
>...You have your very own pegasus and a handful of enslaved knights. Your rather good on the "personal slave meter" Take off.
>>
You decide to cut your losses and take back to the skies with Ren. Twenty enslaved knights seem good enough.

"Ren? I think I'm good."

"Oh, hey Liz. You've been doing a good job... How many slaves did you get?"

"Just twenty. Oh, and a pegasus!"

"That's... Nice? Why do you want a pegasus?"

"Ren, have you ever ridden a horse?"

"...Sort of? I think, once."

"Have you ever ridden a FLYING horse?"

"No? I can fly already."

You sigh slightly.

"Well... I have a horse that flies, and I am quite happy with that."

"That's great... So uh, I still need about two-hundred slaves. I only have about sixty. Oh, and I need to grab some for Chrysoula."

Actions.

>...Switch back to Renexizious.
>...Why do you want more slaves anyways? I mean, it would be rather hard to take them back with us.
>...Speaking of Pegasus... I need to name her. Him. Whatever it is.
>I'll wait for you then.
>...Don't go on a rampage, dear. I don't know about you, but I like having a good name among othe- I mean, humans.
>I think we have enough. Come on... Sixty slaves is probably enough for whatever your doing.
>Just curious, could you show me how to laugh like that sometime?
>You know, I know someone back in Europe who can sell these slaves for a great price...
>If you want, you can help me train OUR pegasus. And my new slaves.
>Write-In
>>
>>686661
>The siege weapons might hurt a little, but the archers are truly annoying, like ticks... Focus on them again.
>...You have your very own pegasus and a handful of enslaved knights. Your rather good on the "personal slave meter" Take off.
>>
>>686672
>...Switch back to Renexizious.
He can carry more slaves
>>
>>686672
>If you want, you can help me train OUR pegasus. And my new slaves.
Quality is better than numbers.
>>
Minor fun fact, Elizabeth grew to an equal size of Renexizious.

"...Well then, if you want you can help me train OUR pegasus. And my new slaves."

"Right... Who are they?"

"Just you know, knights."

"...That might be a little hard to train, Liz. You sure?"

"Well, they're probably smarter then the common rabble."

"Well, how are you going to train them to be loyal and obedient?"

"Well, I was intending to simply tell them what to do, and show the benefits of working with me... Even if they won't get paid."

"I see. Well, at least your kind about enslaving."

"Unlike your mother."

"Right."

You switch back to Renexizious.

"So... You want to help me or not, Ren?"

Actions.

>...Come on. I think your being a little soft on the slaves. I think a more "brute" method could help... My mother's a expert at it.
>I'd be happy to. I'll make sure to make it romantic... Somehow.
>...I guess? I suppose it could be fun.
>Why don't you try to fool the knights into serving us or something?
>Hold on... I got to get a few more slaves.
>Let's head... Sort of home, back to Mousilion.
>Write-In
>>
>>686688
>I'd be happy to. I'll make sure to make it romantic... Somehow.
>>
>>686688
>Hold on... I got to get a few more slaves.
>>
"Well I'd be happy to. I'll make sure to romantic, somehow."

"Right... So what's the plan? Get more slaves?"

"Well..."

Actions.

>Nah, we're good.
>I think it's MY turn to terrify a city.
>Since I am a gentleman, I recommend you avert your eyes. Because some people may or may not get squished or nomed.
>Let's terrify some villages. And get their slaves.
>...Would you like some more slaves? Just curious.
>...What, no kiss? Come on...
>Well, I'll show those humans for hurting you slightly. How dare they!
>Write-in

Current Slave Count

Ren: 60
Liz: 20
>>
>>686710
>Let's terrify some villages. And get their slaves.
>>
>>686710
>Since I am a gentleman, I recommend you avert your eyes. Because some people may or may not get squished or nomed.
>>
Switching to this>>686715
>>
"Well, let's terrify some villages and enslave them. But since I am a gentelman, I recommend you avert your eyes. Because some people may or may not get squished or nommed."

"I see... Well, there's a village coming up not too far away."

Roll me a 1d20 for how prosperous this village is.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>686721
>>
You come across... Basically a very, very wealthy village, with a huge church, well-made buildings, sort of reminding you of the renaissance, and it lays just on the coast, with a magnificently large castle... Not to mention you see public fountains, paved roads, and an apparently very happy citizenry, who you can practically feel emanating happiness and content.

Actions.

>...No, you won't attack peasants who are actually content with their lot in life and live in decent living conditions!
>...Ooooh, money! And slaves! Land!
>...Your kind of curious who does rule over this village. Maybe pay a brief visit to the keep?
>...Well, nothing like smashing and eating a handful of happy people. Land on a building and generally sow chaos.
>Evil laugh? Evil laugh.
>Write-In
>>
>>686734
>...Your kind of curious who does rule over this village. Maybe pay a brief visit to the keep?
>>
>>686734
>...Well, nothing like smashing and eating a handful of happy people. Land on a building and generally sow chaos.

IIRC Bretonnia is like a mixture of North Korea and Feudal Europe particularly France. This means that the common people live in absolute squalor and they're not allowed to move meaning that inbreeding is so prevalent that mutations like 6 fingers are common. That make make enslaving this aristocratic village morally justified.
>>
>>686743
>they're not allowed to move meaning that inbreeding is so prevalent that mutations like 6 fingers are common
So regular pre-industrial life?
>>
>>686748
>*looks over to russia*
>>
You have a slight curiosity over who does rule over this village, and you fly overhead of the castle... You seem to be noticed, and the guards prepare in case you do swoop down...

Actions.

>...Well, how about that! They're preparing for your visit! Land directly INSIDE the castle walls!
>This village seems wealthy and content... Maybe you'll just talk to the count. Duke. Whatever.
>...Smash, nom! Crush! Go over the castle and land in the town!
>...Maybe you'll land far away from it and shift down.
>Write-In
>>
>>686765
>This village seems wealthy and content... Maybe you'll just talk to the count. Duke. Whatever.
let's talk to the cun--erm ... count.
>>
>>686765
>...Smash, nom! Crush! Go over the castle and land in the town!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Talk to the ruler?
2=Pillage the Village!
>>
You land beside the castle, towering over it's walls.

"I want to talk to the mortal ruler in charge of this castle. Bring me him, and I may just spare your village a terrible fate..." Is what you say to a rather terrified and young guard.

He gulps and goes get him. Meanwhile, many of the guards seem to point weapons towards you.

Actions.

>...Tell your wife to land on the OTHER side of the castle.
>...What are you looking at?
>...You tire of these mortal guards. Take care of them by freezing them with fire. As in set them on fire and freeze them.
>...You know what? I tire of waiting. Go over the wall and rip off the roof of the castle.
>...Could you bring me some tea? I feel rather british.
>Excuse me mortals, but I request a healthy amount of beef and butter. It's a part of my diet.
>I recommend all of you flee before I get angry at the cu- I mean, lord in charge.
>I have a good job policy. Anyone intersted in working with me?
>Write-In
>>
>>686779
>...Tell your wife to land on the OTHER side of the castle.
>...What are you looking at?
>>
You yell for your wife to land on the OTHER side of the castle.

"What are all of you looking at? I thought my wife was more attractive then me, to be honest..."

After a little bit a rather tall fellow in plate armor comes out, followed by a rather scruffy looking servant.

"...Lord, I think there's a dragon here to see you." The servant seems a little... Slow.

"...I can see that. Why don't we switch positions? Just claim I'm insane or something."

"My lord, there's two dragons here to see you..."

"I can see that, damn it... I'll just say... Wobbels."

"Wobbels, sir?"

"Damn it, good point... They'll never believe that I'm insane..."

"If you excuse me sir... I have a cunning plan."

"I'm desperate enough to see what it is... Lady forgive me..."

"Why don't we get a pumpkin and put it on a goat?"

"...I think it's a little late for that."

The lord looks up towards you, and you cough loudly.

"I can hear you, you know."

"...I see. Well, I am Sir Vismarin. And this is my... Somewhat unintelligent servant, Bormar."

"Hello."

"Now... What do you need?"

It's clear that this... Sir Vismarian, is very, very nervous. While his servant is either brave or stupid enough not to be afraid of you.

Actions.

>...Erh, hello. Is this your village?
>I'm pleased to meet you!
>...A goat with a pumpkin on it's head? I don't think that would fool me.
>I am deeply insulted that you think you can trick me with a mere pumpkin on a goat.
>...Nom them for deeply insulting you.
>...This is good comedy. Huh.
>What's with the unintelligent servant following you?
>Crush them. Your the lord around here now...
>...Excuse me, but can I have a "handful" of citizens to come with me? Forever?
>Write-In
>>
>>686800
>...This is good comedy. Huh.
*Master and servant Comedic effect increase*
INB4 the servant is actually smarter and more Brave.
i say we ask them to invert their roles, for French literature purposes.
>>
>>686800
>...This is good comedy. Huh.
>>
"This is good comedy. Why don't you switch?"

"Erh, no. Bormar is thicker then a ox!"

"How so?"

"Besides being unable to count to three or tell his ass from his elbows?"

Actions

>Point taken.
>Oh, you should take up comedy rather then ruling.
>...Not good enough. I recommend you switch roles before I nom you.
>What's with Lords and classim
>Nom.
>Write In
>>
>>686952
>Oh, you should take up comedy rather then ruling.
actually have him do so, he's your jester from now on.
>>
Can't tell if anons find him funny or not.
>>
>>686952
>Oh, you should take up comedy rather then ruling.


>>686985
Reminds of watching black adder as a kid. Good job QM.
>>
"You should really take up comedy... In fact, I think you'll be my jester!"

"Don't I get a say in this?"

"Do I get a turnip?"

Actions

>Nope!
>Pick them up and put on your back.
>Laugh... Choice? Na.
>Well, how does being enslaved sound?
>I promise great, big turnips.
>If you want.
>Erh, no. It's just a joke.
>Write In
>>
>>687050
>Pick them up and put on your back.
>I promise great, big turnips.
>>
>>687050
>Erh, no. It's just a joke.
>Write In
"I give great benefits though, if you do want the job."
>>
"I promise great big turnips."

You pick them up and begin to put them on your back, but the Lord begins yelling for his guards to help. A single archer accidentally fires an arrow at your hand, doing literally nothing.

Actions

>Oh, right, those guys. Liz, can you take care of them?
>Tell them to stop fooling around or I'll squeeze you like a grape!
>Right... Deal with the guards.
>Fly off.
>Offer them slavery or morning.
>Jester, say a joke to me.
>Write In
>>
>>687074
>Jester, say a joke to me.
>>
"Jester, tell me a joke."

"I'm not your jester!"

"My lord, he did o-"

"Shut up about your damned turnips!"

You can't help but laugh at him claiming he's not your jester..

"Let go of the count at once!" Says one of the guards.

Actions

>Oh come on, fine. I'll let my jester go then.
>Squish the insolent guard.
>Oh, I will. But first I need to enslave all of you. Nothing personal.
>Since I'm in a good mood, I'll let you live.
>Liz, be a dear and squish him.
>...Dangle him?
>Write In
>>
>>687120
>Since I'm in a good mood, I'll let you live.
>>
>>687120
>Since I'm in a good mood, I'll let you live.
>>
"Since I'm in a good mood, I think I'll let you live."

"Ren, can we get to business rather then fraternization?"

"Why?"

"The guards are impatient, husband."

Actions

>...Jester, tell me one more joke please.
>Fine...
>Come on, it's a bit of fun. Put your jester on the ground.
>Come on, you try him out. Tell my wife a joke, and it better be a good one.
>You really should stop being impatient. It's not good for your health.
>Fine, but we're tumbling after this.
>...Fine, back to work then.
>Do you want your own jester then?
>Write In
>>
>>687163
>Come on, you try him out. Tell my wife a joke, and it better be a good one.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if your jester gets her to laugh. Additional +2 if you can give a draconic joke.
>>
Rolled 18 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>687176
It appears you have clawed your way into my domain...let me tell you a tail...about a fangtastic dragon, who would always tip the scales in his favor
>>
You squeeze your jester slightly. Which is probably enough to cause him to stop breathing.

"I recommend you tell my wife a very, very good joke."

"Y-yes... Erh, well..."

"Hurry up please. My wife is growing only more tired."

"W-well, do I have a kicker for you! I have a... Story, yes! A romantic one!"

Elizabeth raises one of her eyes, intrigued.

"Well.. It appears dragoness, that you have clawed your way into my domain... Now, let me tell you a tail... About a fangtastic dragon, who would always tip the scales in his tale..."

You smile, somewhat entertained. Your wife is also entertained.

"If it wasn't for the he at the end, I would think you'd be trying to hit on me."

"...Your a woman?"

"Well, yes. I suppose I'd be rather hard to tell."

"Erh... Well then. Nice to know."

Actions.

>...Jester, one final challenge. I want you to make my wife BURST into laughing.
>...Hold on, ARE you trying to hit on my wife?
>Laugh. You aren't letting him go.
>I always love someone with a witty tongue. And someone who puts themselves first.
>...What should we do with the unintelligent peasant who smells like dung, Elizabeth?
>That's good enough, I suppose.
>Why don't you tell me wife how you got that "woobles" thing.
>Write-In

I just realized I basically made Blackadder a character without realizing. I am extremely pleased by this.
>>
>>687193
>That's good enough, I suppose.
Let's put him down i think we've proven our point.
Just ask if we can settle around here and use the local Peasant.
>>
"Well, that's good enough I suppose then."

You gently put the lord on the ground.

"Now, how would you feel about me setting up... Well, basically a summer home. Oh, and if I borrowed this peasant?"

"Erh, well... As long as you don't use me as a squeeze toy, and try to eat me or anything, I think I'm alright with it."

"Right, well, thank you."

"You can uh, keep the peasant. Please."

"Why?"

"I would of asked for a refund from his hamster of a mother, and if I actually bought him. His family has been indebted to me for centuries."

"I thought it was... How long is a centuary?"

"It's... It's a century, damn it..."

"Oh. What's that mean lord?"

"...It means please go and never come back."

Actions.

>...Erh, keep the peasant. I'd rather... Not.
>...Would you mind if I ask why he smells like dung?
>Well... Elizabeth, how would you feel about civilizing a inbred french serf?
>I'll take care of him, give him lots of turnips, and feed him once in a while.
>...I think you misheard. I intend to set up a refinery here.
>...Do you have any problems with slave labor, by chance?
>Well, sorry about the whole squeeze doll thing. But I greatly enjoy your comedy.
>Would you mind if I enslaved a few peasants?
>...Can you at least consider being a jester?
>Write-In
>>
>>687216
>...I think you misheard. I intend to set up a refinery here.
>Well, sorry about the whole squeeze doll thing. But I greatly enjoy your comedy.
>>
"Well, I think you misheard. I intend to set up a refinery. And sorry about the whole squeeze doll thing, but I do greatly enjoy your comedy."

"Right... Refinery?"

"Oh, you know. For oil."

"Erh... Would you mind if I ask what's with all the terrified peasants on your back?"

"Oh, them?"

Actions.

>It's a little bit of a slavery operation. A little sketchy, but it'll be fine.
>...If you look past the slavery bit, I may be willing to offer you a bribe. And possible friendship with a dragon.
>Oh, they're just some friendly serfs I picked up who have promised to dedicate their lives to me. That sort of thing.
>Just erh... Some workers I found.
>...Question, how large is your jail, and would you be willing to sell any to me?
>...Just saying I'll also be making a summer home. That too.
>Oh, and with my company you WILL be used for comedic purposes while I am around. Understood?
>Write-In
>>
>>687224
>Just erh... Some workers I found.
>...Question, how large is your jail, and would you be willing to sell any to me?
>...Just saying I'll also be making a summer home. That too.
>Oh, and with my company you WILL be used for comedic purposes while I am around. Understood?
Overload his brain
>>
"Well, I found some workers, and yes, I will be making a summer home. And you WILL be used for comedic purposes while I am around, understood?"

"...Well, would I get paid?"

"...Hold on, quick question. Would you be willing to sell any prisoners to me?"

"I suppose... How's twenty in exchange for two sacks of gold?"

"Sacks?"

"Well, about the size of my palm, you see."

"...I suppose..."

"Make that three then."

"What?"

"It was always three. Did I mention these prisoners are extra healthy?"

"Erh... Three though?"

"...Oh, fine my lord. Two sacks and a half. I'm a generous man."

"I think you're bargaining a litt-"

"But hold on my lord... I don't think people would want to mistake you for a beggar! Why not... Two sacks, and three-quarters?"

Actions

>...I think two will suit just fine.
>Dangle him. You'll get them for free.
>Laugh heartily, he makes a fine jester.
>...Well, let it never be known I was a simple beggar! I will gladly give you that in money!
>I think I should give you three, just to show my generosity.
>...One will do.
>...First, why don't I SEE the prisoners first?
>Write-In
>>
>>687278
>>Laugh heartily, he makes a fine jester.

Mane last time I posted in EDQ was when.. Hmm..

Something about The werewolf fang or something set up his computer in his room with his buddy from the ss.

Also been a while in NEQ
>>
>>687278
>Laugh heartily, he makes a fine jester.
>...First, why don't I SEE the prisoners first?
>...One will do.
>>
You laugh quite a bit, heartily in fact.

"You make a fine jester..."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"...Well, maybe. Though It's an awfully high price... Why don't I see them first? Besides, one sack will do."

"My lord, I insist... Three sacks."

"One."

"Well, I recommend three. Otherwise they might not be as healthy. You never know, your fearful visage might cause one or two of them to fall down a stairwell after shooting themselves in the back of the head twice with a bow!"

You laugh a little more.

"I love laughing, you know that? I haven't laughed for a while. Bring me them and we'll talk about money."

"I see."

The lord walks off, and a few minutes later comes out with about forty shackled men.

"All of these are non-essential to society, and under the worst circumstances, highly replaceable. Now, how much are we talking about?"

The prisoners don't seem too healthy... But not too unhealthy either.

Actions.

>I already said, One sack, and that's it.
>Is there a tax I have to pay for building on your lands, prehaps? I'd like to know.
>Well, since I feel nice, two sacks.
>...Two and three-thirds, as agreed upon.
>...Grab them and put them on your back. He knows he can't do anything about it, and he fell for the trap. Though it's a bit mean to do to such a good jester...
>...You feel overjoyed. Three sets.
>One sack. Unless you give me a good comedic show, then two.
>...Liz, what do you think?
>Write-In
>>
>>687316
>One sack. Unless you give me a good comedic show, then two.
>>
"Well, one sack. Unless you care to entertain me..."

The serf in your hand talks.

"I have a cunning plan your lordship!"

"What is it, Bormar?"

"Why don't you ask him for a goat?"

Vismarin sighs.

"How about this, you happen to "squeeze" him a little too hard and I happen to not care because HOW THE HELL WOULD A GOAT HELP?"

Bormar shrugs his shoulders.

"What? I like goats."

"Right. Tell that to the hairy hamster that your mother is, she probably already regrets trying to get in bed with that goat already."

You once again laugh (demonically) heartily, and Elizabeth chuckles a little. You of course, liberate some of the peasants belongings on your back and toss him two sacks.

"Good show... Good show."

"Right, you heard the dragon. Get o-"

You pick up the men and put them on your back, smiling.

"So... Summer home? You wouldn't happen to just be one of those rich fobs who just randomly build it over random sites and never visit except to pay your taxes, would you?"

Actions

>Eh... My brother rules Mousilion. So I'll be around once in a while.
>At this rate, I may never leave!
>Well, I'm sure this summer home will be huge, great, and surely not a disappointment to me... And by extension your family members, for missing another one of their kin.
>Taxes? Scoff and laugh.
>Well, I hope you enjoy having me as your sovereign... Well, technically my brother... But me too.
>Could you give me a little dance and jig? I want to see how far your willing to go for coin.
>...Well, I suppose I'll pay some taxes. That seems good form to the man who'll protect my house while I'm away...
>Write-in
>>
>>687345
>Eh... My brother rules Mousilion. So I'll be around once in a while.
>>
"Well, my brother rules Mousilion. So I'll be around once in a while."

"R-right... Well, I erh... I see."

Actions.

>Could you give me a little dance and jig before I leave?
>...Why don't we discuss payment and services as a jester?
>Excuse me... But did you mention something regarding taxes?
>Liz, anything you want to say before we go?
>Would you mind if me and my wife... Frolicked a bit in town? You know, raze it, loot it, that sort of thing?
>Write-In
>>
Just archived Werewolf Reich 2 anons.
>>
>>687481
>Liz, anything you want to say before we go?

>>687527
>Return of the edgelords
If I may ask, why did you put the option to eat that one guy to begin with if edgefags are such a problem in NEQ/WRQ.
>>
>>687535
Because shit tends to escalate REAL FUCKING FAST when it comes to this shit, and the general ruling behind wanting to eat someone was... It was complete and utter fucking horseshit why in my opinion.
Then again, I am a moralfag. And the reason why I put it in is so anons had a choice. I might not like that choice at fucking all, but I give anons a choice.

Also, I thought the title was funny since I was reminded of Star Wars.

"Well, Liz... Anything you want to say before we go?"

"Hm... Well, not really. Thank you for your time, lord."

"Right... Please don't come back soon."

You nod your head and ascend back into the skies with Elizabeth.

"That went better then expected."

"Well, yes."

"...Well, I think I have barely enough... And I'm starting to get tired."

"...Same."

"Right, right."

"...Can I just say something to you?"

"What?"

"I... Well, I missed being with you, alright? You know that, I hope."

Actions.

>You've been rather blunt recently. But yes, yes I do.
>...What brought this on?
>I love you too, Elizabeth.
>...Kiss? Kiss.
>Come on, we can rest for a little bit. Our slaves aren't going anywhere.
>Come on, we only need to get a hundred more...
>I know you do. And I wish I could spend more time with you. It's fun being with you.
>You know, you've been... In my opinion, acting bitchy recently.
>Write-In
>>
>>687549
>I love you too, Elizabeth.
>...Kiss? Kiss.
>You've been rather blunt recently. But yes, yes I do.
>>
>>687549
>I love you too, Elizabeth.
>...Kiss? Kiss.
*Romantic music with saxophone in it starts playing*
>>
"You know, I love you too Elizabeth. You've been rather blunt... Bu-" You interrupt what your saying with a sudden kiss, and for a few seconds the two of you start making out. You must admit, her breath is minty fresh. Probably since she can breathe ice... After a little bit she slightly pushes your head off of her.

"...Let's uh, save this for when we get back. No need to drop our slaves or crash into something. I think there's children with them, anyways..." She seems to be blushing slightly. It's rather easy to tell thanks to the white scales.

Actions.

>...Come on, I think we can get a little... More extreme then that. Besides, who cares if we traumatize a few peasants or drop a few?
>I assume venting your rage by flicking knights helped the mood?
>...Ignore her and kiss her.
>...Fine, if you want competition when we get back.
>What? I wasn't trying to tumble you or anything.
>Fine by me, Elizabeth... Fine by me.
>...Would you protest to me getting the other wives together? You know, Frankizka and... Well, maybe Chrysoula?
>Write-In
>>
>>687585
>...Come on, I think we can get a little... More extreme then that. Besides, who cares if we traumatize a few peasants or drop a few?
If anything we're teaching the young ones about nature and how the world works.

Also what our status with Frankizka now? What does Elizabeth think about our multiple wives now?
>>
I'd recommend you ask them, just saying.

"Well... Come on. I think we can get a little more... Extreme the nthat. Besides, who cares if we traumatize a few peasants or drop a few? besides... We're teaching the young ones how nature works, right?"

"That's why I love you, not afraid to do anything, are you?"

"Nope!"

The two of you begin passionately making out mid-flight. Roll me a 2d20+10 for tumbling skills. Second roll is to see if you can keep the peasants on.
>>
Rolled 8, 20 + 10 = 38 (2d20 + 10)

>>687632
Dis gun be gud
>>
Samefagging allowed anons.
>>
Rolled 20, 13 + 10 = 43 (2d20 + 10)

>>687647
At worst it'll just be a boring sex experience. All the slaves are secured.
>>
Double Critical Successes!

None of the slaves notice anything, and seem to be very secure while you possibly give Elizabeth the best tumbling you ever gave her. If any peasant actually looked up, they'd probably be traumitized for life.

Either way, by the time you arrive at the ducal palace (and therefor traumatizing a few thousand peasants underneath you), you unload your slaves and quickly fly off for the swamp, where you spend practically the rest of the night doing... Well, debauchery in your various forms.

Eventually, the two of you are UTTERLY exhausted, and are in your human forms, luckily enough... And in the middle of a swamp, which is probably verified as a "biological contamination zone" in and out of itself.

The two of you hug together, both exhausted and tired after a long day, and you think you might of immensely satisfied your wife.

"So... On a scale of one to ten, how heavenly was that?"

"...Twelve."

"Huh, a new record."

She gives you a kiss on the check.

"Isn't that surprising?"

"No... Not it isn't."

The two of you go back to making out, and after a little bit collapse...

After a little bit you wake up, your wife lovingly caressing you.

"...How long have you been up?"

"Four minutes, I think... God, that was great."

"It was... Now, how about going back to Richard's place?"

"...Sure."

Actions.

>...I see your in a much, much better mood. Glad to be of service.
>...You know, I think we should do some more rather... Heavy tumbling. What do you say? (Charisma, HARD)
>You know, why don't we try a little bit more back at the palace? It'd be a lot better then on the ground.
>...We still have to get a hundred more slaves, I believe... So let's finish that up, alright?
>God, I love you.
>Write-In
>>
>>687698
>...I see your in a much, much better mood. Glad to be of service.
>God, I love you.
>>
"Well, I see your in a much, much better mode. God, I love you."

"I do too... Now... What's the first state of affairs?"

"Right, right... I still have to get a hundred slaves, though that's trivial... Or you know, I could do something else a little more fun."

"...Like?"

"Well, stay and carouse sounds mighty pleasing... Especially with you."

"...It does indeed... But I think we should at least finish that whole slavery thing up first, don't you think?"

Actions.

>Well, I suppose your right.
>Come on, let's do something... Exciting.
>...Well... I suppose I should take a break from work. Maybe I could get you to get along with Frankizka? Or Chrysoula?
>...Well... I'm sort of interested in exploring a little. Visiting the Empire... That sort of thing.
>Maybe I should do my brother a favor. As in win this war for Bretonnia...
>...Who said we were leaving this place without another tumble? (Charisma)
>...Just curious... Why didn't you eat anyone when we raided?
>...Welcome to being a dragon... And to think, you'll have me for all of... Well, however long a dragon lives.
>Write-in
>>
>>687761
>Well, I suppose your right.
>>
"Right, right..."

"Anyways... Want me to return to the Ducal Palace?"

"Why?"

"I'd rather stay with you... But I'm alright if you want to be alone doing something."

Actions

>...Come on, why would I choose anyone else?
>Come on... More slaves, more loot. Let's get flying already.
>...I think we should change it up a little. You know, target a different race?
>Maybe we should bring Chrysoula or Frankizka along? It could be fun.
>...Flames, want to bring anyone along?
>...I wonder if I could get my brother into slavery... It's rather fun with family and friends.
>...How about a quick tumble and we go? (Charisma)
>Write-In
>>
>>687818
>...I think we should change it up a little. You know, target a different race?
Maybe Estalia
>>
>>687849
This.
>>
"Well, I was thinking about changing it up a little. Let's target... Estalia. I think I remember Frankizka mention it."

"Right... Well, let's get going."

The two of you begin flying to Estalia...

Roll me a 1d20 for what sort of town you find and how wealthy/prosperous it is.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>687870
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>687870
Estalia is based off of medieval Italy so it should be richer then it's French, Bretonnia, counterpart overall.
>>
Allowing for one more samfag roll.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>687870
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

Let's see if my luck lasts
>>
12

Success!

You find a... Well, somewhat poor town next to what seems to be a marsh. The town seems very independent due to a plethora of national flags, and other such things...

Actions.

>...Move on, this town isn't worth it.
>...Strike a city, rather then a town.
>No one is going to miss this village. Land with your wife outside of it.
>You know, your wife did enjoy doing this last time... Maybe you should let her do it again while you fly above overhead? (Switch PoV to Elizabeth)
>...You haven't eaten breakfast yet. Well, might as well get started... Besides, there's probably better slaves to find elsewhere.
>Write-In
>>
>>687922
>No one is going to miss this village. Land with your wife outside of it.
>>
You land outside of the village with your wife, which startles some of the villagers, who begin to rush towards the center of the town... You even hear a bell of a church ring.

Huh. Well, they're certainly used to sudden attacks. Or are prepared for it.

Actions.

>Evil laugh, and demand their surrender! (Intimidation, HARD)
>Come on now, you only want to talk!
>...Well, that church is a nuisance. Take care of it.
>Well, might as well start a fire to send the populace into a terrified panic.
>...You know, summon Smaug to help. Why not? He barely gets any time outside... (Summoning)
>Write-In
>>
>>687969
>Evil laugh, and demand their surrender! (Intimidation, HARD)
If we managed to abduct everyone here and turn it into a ghost town just by laughing then that would be quite a feat.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+8. Additional +2 if you can anything terrifying to the populace, give them a deal, or otherwise bring up a good point why they should be slaves rather then freemen.
>>
Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>687994
I'll protect you from those furry rat-fucks called Skaven.
>>
Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

Here's another roll
>>
9+10=19

Borderline Failure!

You land on the ground with a thud, alongside your wife... The village pauses in a brief fear before you hear a... Drum beat?

In the middle of the town, a small band of militia, about two-hundred and fifty men, waving a flag with a woman on it, marches to a drum. It's clear they're terrified, and armed with rudimentary flintlock rifles. A rather elderly man with a saber yells something in... A mix of Italian and Spanish. Which of course, both of which you know. What it comes out as is a rudimentary "Prepare to take aim!"

"Put down your weapons, and I'll protect you from those furry fucktards called the Skaven!"

It seems a few understand you, and are already wavering, save the lone elderly officer... A bullet skips off the scale by your eye, and you see a small handful of women taking aim at it.
It seems this village won't go without a fight. A futile fight, but a fight nonetheless. The elderly officer seems to turn to his men, energetic and seemingly... Well, zealous. And probably about to give a speech.

Actions.

>...Well, what's a little bit of stomping on a milita? That's just a everyday fact! (Strength)
>Who shot that? It isn't nice to blind a dragon!
>...Maybe you should try appealing to them? (Charisma)
>Oh man, the past fourty hours have been nothing but laughs... Italians? Fighting?
>...Flames, would you please set fire to the settlement?
>Liz, want to deal with this?
>They're already wavering... Try to terrify them further! (Intimidation, HARD)
>Overhear his speech. Maybe you can hear some vital battleplans? And it is honorable, after all.
>...Call for a parley, if that's a thing?
>Sneakily pluck the officer and grab him. (Agility, HARD)
>This isn't worth it... Go to another town. Besides, these slaves would likely rebel anyways...
>Write-In
>>
>>688085
>...Maybe you should try appealing to them? (Charisma)
They will want to be our slaves
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5, additional +2 for any good appeals for why they should become your slaves.
>>
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>688115
>>
Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>688115
Along with protecting you from Skaven and other horrors that inhabit this world, I will offer shelter and subsistence to you simply for but a modest price.
>>
Critical Failure!

"Come o-"

The captain loudly interrupts you.

"Men, you know me, and you can see the enemy clearly, and that's all we need to know! We have a duty and we will do it well! Fire at my command!"

"Can we-"

"FIRE!"

A thunderous amount of gunfire impacts around you, barely penetrating your scales. It's feeble, but could add up easily.

"Can you let me talk?"

"Get out of our country! FIRE!"

Another volley hits you. Great... You'll be here all day at this rate.

"Listen, I'll protect you from the Skaven and other horrors that inhabit this world. Shelter, and subsistence for but a modest price..."

"We are not sheep! We are Estalians, and we die like Estalians! Free and in Myrmidia's tits! Now, take aim!"

"Please, your bullets can't do anything against me. I'll just wait until you run out of ammo."

A third volley hits you... This time, you realize that it's actually been PENETRATING your scales.
Huh.
It's not much damage, but you think that their muskets have a high enough caliber (or the bullets are blunt enough) to shatter a handful of your scales. And a handful of women hiding in houses fire towards your eye, one hitting and stinging you, slightly.

HP: 18,000
Current: 17,500

"Ren, I think it's just best we move on."

"Hell no..."

"I don't want a squished town on my conscious, and I'd rather not have rebellious slaves."

Actions.

>...Good point. We should just move on.
>...I think I have an idea. Let me challenge their "captain" to a duel.
>Keep trying to appeal to them. (Charisma, HARD)
>...Well, I think we need to take care of the captain, first. He seems to be the leader.
>...Can't we just squish the mortals? That always cheers me up. (Strength)
>Hold on, nom them. (Strength)
>...Hold on. Let me just set their town on fire so their women come out of hiding.
>...That's it. No more mister nice Dragon. Take eyepatch and make Khorne proud.
>Oh hey, this tickles. You should try some.
>...Hold on, let me just roar a little. (Intimidation, HARD)
>...Oh no Liz, I'm dying! Give me one final kiss!
>You have to admit, they are rather brave.
>Write-In
>>
>>688226
>Keep trying to appeal to them. (Charisma, HARD)
Let us be civil in this process of enslavement
>>
"Come on, I can get through to them."

"How?"

"You'll see..."

Roll me a 1d20+5, and an additional +2 if you can give an example on why slavery is good for a slave. (Doesn't matter if made up or not).
>>
Rolled 9 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>688264
>>
Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>688264
I'll give you free good-quality pasta everyday
>>
Rolled 7 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

Free food and housing, also no taxes.

Hey QM!
>>
9+5=14

Good Failure!

"Come on, I'll give you pasta every day. It'll be... Decent!"

A few more bullets impact against you in retaliation.

"Tempting, but no! Now get out of my country!"

"Not until you become my slave."

"Never! Just go away!"

"Please?"

"Go before I shoot you a fifth time!"

"Did I mention free food and housing? And no taxes?"

You get a bullet inbetween the eyes from a pistol. Presumably from the captain. It does little then tickle.

"Ren, they're fighting to the death here. We basically have nothing to gain but getting blood on our feet."

"Come on... Jesus, I'm getting through to them."

"No, you aren't. You're just agitating them further."

HP: 18,000
Current: 17,250 HP

Actions.

>Fine then... Well, off we go.
>Can we just destroy this village then?
>We can take the women and children as slaves, don't worry. We don't need the men.
>...Well, time to back to threatening them. (Intimidation, HARD)
>Fine... We'll just squish the militia.
>Appeals to living conditions aren't working... What about lies? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>That's it, I'm eating them all.
>Flames, just set the town on fire already, god...
>Hang on, let me just grab the captain... (Agility, HARD)
>This isn't as fun if they aren't running from you.
>...Well, fine then. You'll give them a list of demands, money, women, and butter. And slaves.
>Try to grab the militia! (Strength, HARD)
>>
>>688319
>...Well, time to back to threatening them. (Intimidation, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+8

Additional +2 for good threats against them, their women, or anything really.
>>
Rolled 18 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>688353
i have been nothing but reasonable during this entire transaction. Refuse one more time and I'll burn this entire village, destroy all of your livelihoods and take you women.
>>
18+10=28

Good Success!

You sigh, frustrated. And generally annoyed.

"I have been NOTHING but reasonable during this entire transaction. Refuse one more time, and I'll burn this entire village, destroy all of your livelihoods, and take your women."

"He's serious, you know.

The militia seems to somewhat dissolute.

"Men? We can take him!"

"Sir... He'd burn this village down... And I'd rather not have my daughter touched without consent."

"Then kill her! We're Estalians! It is better to live free for one day then slaves for a hundred years!"

The militia seems to begin to break apart, enough where you move closer and lower your head.

"I highly recommend you all surrender and become my slaves."

"What? Never!" Yells the officer. The rest of his men though, throw down their weapons.

"Cowards!"

"Sir... With all due respect, I want my family to be intact."

At this point the officer is furious.

"You'd give up your freedom?! What's wrong with today's youth! You're a bunch of sick-nose pansies!"

"So, will you be leaving here with us?"

He spits on your mouth.

"Go shag a tree, you fuck! I'll stay here and die in my homeland then waste away in some mine!"

The rest of the men cautiously move back away from them.

Actions.

>...What is your name anyways?
>Burn him alive. Enough said.
>Nom.
>Step on him. On accident, of course.
>...Just saying you'd have to give your women over to me anyways. And I am rather fertile... And my wife loves it when I lay with other people with her...
>I respect that officer. You'll be staying here, I suppose.
>...The chances are is that you'll die of starvation or the Skaven will get you... That's a rather bad alternative.
>I agree with the officer. Your all a bunch of pansies.
>Officer, I'll give you ten seconds to grovel in mercy, or else.
>...Did you just spit on me?
>Write-In
>>
>>688404
>...Did you just spit on me?
>Nom.
>>
"Did you just... Spit on me?"

"I did!"

You tower over him, but the officer remains his cool. He also shoots you in the eye again.

"For Estalia!" are his final words before you bite down on him, and swallow. Unlike most men, you don't hear screaming of their skin melting from the acidic saliva or their soul being ripped from their body. Rather, you hear slashing at your mouth, and another gunshot... And it seems the captain is remarkably hanging onto one of your teeth!

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can swallow. Or optionally just spit him out and let him just dissolve in a pool of acidic saliva.
>>
Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>688433
I think we should just swallow and dissolve him in our stomach. Melting him in front of the whole town might be bad for our public image
>>
4+4=8

Failure!

Somehow, the captain actually GETS OUT of your mouth, hacking and slashing. He's badly burned, his uniform in tatters, and a dead look in his eye... He slumps out and falls out directly infront of you. His breath is heavy and measured..

Actions.

>...Maybe he'll just die from exhaustion.
>Nom.
>...That's it, you're going to sacrifice this tough bastard to Khorne. He'd like his soul... And maybe he'll get you something cool.
>Crush him. He's earned at least that much.
>...Liz, why don't you take him as a slave?
>...He's weakened enough to be taken as a slave. Grab him.
>...You know, why not force him into slavery and make his master Chrysoula? Or if you feel like it, Frankizka?
>...Set him on fire.
>....You know what? You'll just leave him here. Let the skaven and zombies get him..
>You have an idea... Order a militman to kill him, and you'll resurrect him as undead... So you can eat him or something ironic.
>Laugh, he could barely get out of your mouth, how stupid is he?
>Write-In
>>
>>688516
>Crush him. He's earned at least that much.
>>
You crush the captain, who mutters a few words before death. You don't hear it, but it seems to be a sort of song. He of course is ground into a bloody stain on your hand which you wipe offf. You turn to your enslaved two-hundred and fifty slaves...

Actions.

>...Due to the price of insolence of your captain, some of you are going to have to volunteer for nomming...
>...All of you, bring me your womenfolk. I feel ecstatic.
>Liz, a kiss for getting even more slaves, if you will?
>All of you, bring me breakfast. As YOUR breakfasts.
>...If all of you serve me well, you will not end up like the captain.
>Everyone, get on my back.
>Write-In
>>
>>688586
>...If all of you serve me well, you will not end up like the captain.
>Everyone, get on my back.
Damn shame that the captain died. He seemed pretty okay.
>>
>>688586
>...If all of you serve me well, you will not end up like the captain.
>Everyone, get on my back.
>>
Sorry anons but I just woke up... And now I'm falling back asleep.

"If any of you try anything, you'll end up like him, understand?"

They nod along as they get on your back... And their children and wives.

You take flight once again with liz. Hell yeah.

"Ren? Would you care if I asked a question?" She seems rather polite now. Huh.

Actions

>What is it?
>Kiss. Then talk.
>Sure!
>Only if we tumble a bit afterwards.
>Sorry, but no.
>Write In
>>
>>688939
>What is it?
>Kiss. Then talk.
>>
>>688939
>What is it?
>Kiss. Then talk.
>Sure!
>>
God, I just fucking took a heavenly nap.

"Well, what is it?"

You give her a kiss and the two of you... Well, make out. And the two of you are passionate enough that it nearly go back to tumbling. Just so close... She does comment that she'd at least like a single day of rest...

"Well... Not to be judging, but why exactly are we enslaving women and children?"

"Is this because you had them and your a mother?"

"Well, speaking from a more practical point of view... And also from mine, I suppose."

Actions.

>Well, I enslave women and children because I'm egalitarian.
>You have to start young, Elizabeth. Otherwise they start formulating ideas of escape!
>...Well, the women make good fodder for those lonely nights at the least...
>...Good point. Maybe we should set them down somewhere.
>I don't really think of them as "slaves"... Think more of unpaid interns.
>Write-In
>>
>>689874
>I don't really think of them as "slaves"... Think more of unpaid interns.
this is probably the most true answer anyhow, if we succeed they'll get reputation and maybe a place in our society.
>>
"Come on, I don't really think of them as slaves. Think unpaid interns."

"I see."

"Yeah..."

"That doesn't answer the question too much."

"...I thought it was a good answer."

"Let's just agree it's alright because you aren't crazy and going to skin them alive or something?"

"I'd never do that."

"Oh, I know you wouldn't."

"Right."

"Now... We have about three-hundred slaves. Or at least, you do. I have just twenty."

Actions.

>Well, twenty seems good enough for you.
>I just need two-hundred. You can have a hundred of my slaves, Elizabeth.
>...How many slaves should I give Chrysoula?
>You know, we should try to get Frankizka to have a slave or two... It's rather fun.
>Right... Well, I'd like more... I always love having more slaves.
>Well, I need to make a refinery... I'll be right back.
>Just curious, what do you use your slaves for?
>Write-In
>>
>>689902
>Just curious, what do you use your slaves for?
>Well, I need to make a refinery... I'll be right back.
>>
"Well, I need to make a refinery, so I'll be right back... But just curious, what do you use your slaves for?"

"Well, mostly for what a servant does. But for a few jobs which not even a servant would do."

"I see..."

"But this is unimportant. I'll wait for you at the Ducal Palace, alright?" She gives you a kiss, and begins to fly off...

You start constructing a refinery not too far away from the town which your jester resides in...

Roll me a 1d20+5 for how well this is constructed. Samefagging allowed.
>>
Anons?
>>
Final bump.
>>
Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>689932
>>
Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>689932
It's gonna be huge.
>>
16+5=21

Good Success!

The refinery after a few hours is constructed, complete with a crude pump to oil, and in addition a small barracks for the slaves... It's rudimentary, and you set up some silos (thanks to being able to weld metal with your breath), and finally decide to set up how this should work...

Actions.

>Make it mostly automated, mostly just requiring slaves to make sure it runs. It will produce a low amount of oil, and will require plenty of maintenance. However, this doesn't require educated workers.
>Semi-Automated, some things are automated but most things have to be done by slaves... Uneducated workers can get into minor accidents but you get a moderate amount of oil, and requires a mix of educated and uneducated workers.
>Manual: You get plenty of oil, but this requires a large amount of educated workers and uneducated workers can cause... Well, rather unfortunate mistakes and possible fatalities if left alone.

Elizabeth has twenty semi-educated slaves, being knights, and you have three-hundred slaves who are uneducated.
>>
>>690093
>Semi-Automated, some things are automated but most things have to be done by slaves... Uneducated workers can get into minor accidents but you get a moderate amount of oil, and requires a mix of educated and uneducated workers.
Let's make it semi-automated.
We might want to hit up another refinery in to steal their worker.
Also if while we're at it stealing engineers might be fun to actually decide to design stuff that may be useful.
>>
You begin setting up some gears and measurements for the silo, and you turn to the barracks and begin furnishing it... Now of course you realize you won't exactly be here twenty-four seven...

What to do to keep the slaves from escaping?

Actions

>...Well, nothing really. If they go out that's their problem.
>Build a wall at least around the refinery.
>...Necromancy? Necromancy.
>Mercenaries come to mind, really.
>The local jester-lord could be useful in protecting your land.
>...This is simple. You'll make one of your slaves a bookkeeper in charge of managing the refinery's budget and where the slaves are. And if one goes missing, you'll know who. And who to blame.
>Offer to make the knights guards and granted limited freedom.
>Maybe you can set up... Booby traps?
>Maybe set up a very... Very harsh ruleset. Such as if a slave escapes you eat his family. Or something like that.
>If you take care of your slaves well, they won't want to escape. Maybe instead of a simple barracks you'll construct a town? How hard could it be? They won't even REMEMBER that you forcibly kidnapped them and threatened to eat them and their family.
>Write-in
>>
>>690107
>...Necromancy? Necromancy.
>>
>>690107
>Build a wall at least around the refinery.
>Offer to make the knights guards and granted limited freedom.
>...This is simple. You'll make one of your slaves a bookkeeper in charge of managing the refinery's budget and where the slaves are. And if one goes missing, you'll know who. And who to blame.
let's do like every other factory
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Necromancy
2=Build wall, etc
>>
You turn your mind towards necromancy... You aren't precisely the BEST necromancer, but you have a few ideas.

Actions.

>...Get Frankizka to summon undead. She's good at it.
>A few zombies are good enough. Just bind them outside the walls...
>How about sentient skeletons? They're unbound and will have to be convinced though.
>Just summon some unintelligent skeletons and bound them around the walls.
>...Ask to kill a few of Liz's knights and make them into Blackguards... Of course they'll have to agree to serve you.
>You aren't a "necromancer". Nevermind this.
>...Reminder when you get back to make some government factories to use all those slaves you have.
>Write-In
>>
>>690144
>...Get Frankizka to summon undead. She's good at it.
>>
>>690144
>You aren't a "necromancer". Nevermind this.


We have better methods of making them serve.
>>
>>690147
supportin
>>
...Necromancy may be a little extreme. You decide on OTHER methods.

Actions.

>...Build a wall.
>Who cares?
>Mercenaries!
>Maybe you can ask the local lord?
>Make a slave a bookkeeper!
>Booby traps.
>Offer the knights freedom if they become guards.
>Harsh ruleset? Sure!
>Try to please your slaves so they won't try to escape.
>...You know, why don't you try to convince them into worshiping you?
>...Maybe you can somehow get Frankizka to dominate them?
>>
>>690155
>>...Maybe you can somehow get Frankizka to dominate them?
>>
>>690155
>Make a slave a bookkeeper!
>...Build a wall.
>Try to please your slaves so they won't try to escape.


In that order.
>>
>>690155
>...You know, why don't you try to convince them into worshiping you?
>...Maybe you can somehow get Frankizka to dominate them?
>Try to please your slaves so they won't try to escape.
Stockholm syndrome AHOY
>>
You decide to build a wall, get a slave bookkeeper, make them comfy... And of course dominate them so they cannot even THINK about rebellion.
You let out an evil laugh, and it just so happens that it was raining, and lightening strikes at just the right time for your evil laugh to be even more dramatic.

Man, you love being evi- You mean, a dragon.

After a hour or so you construct a wall with two purposes... Hiding the slaves, and keeping them in. Oh, and looking good.
With that, you decide to see about dominating your slaves firstly, and fly back home to the Ducal Palace.

You of course land outside of it, and head right on in. Elizabeth comes up to you as you enter, and tells you that her and your slaves are safely in the dungeon... And your brother's out visiting a fellow duke, it seems.

Actions

>...Find Frankizka. You need her for a cult of sort!
>Look for Chrysoula. You have some slaves for her after all.
>Talk to Elizabeth, she's in a great mood.
>Maybe you should try to get friendly with your slaves so they don't try anything?
>Meeting with another duke? Where's my brother and said duke at?
>Write-In
>>
>>690185
>...Find Frankizka. You need her for a cult of sort!
>Look for Chrysoula. You have some slaves for her after all.
>>
You go find Frankizka, and you find her idly reading a book.

[red]"Franza?"[/red]

She lowers the book and looks towards you.

"Yes? Do you need something?"

[red}"I need you to set up a cult of me by dominating a few of my slaves."[/red]

"Erh, no."

[red]"What? Why not?"[/red]

"I'm not in the business of helping you enslave peasants or my countrymen."

[red]"Come on, please? Half of them aren't even Bretonians."[/red]

"No. I won't have a part in this."

Actions.

>Come on, I need you. Please.
>They like it. It's better then how they live, alright?
>...I'm sorry for enslaving other Bretonnians, ok?
>You're a vampire! Why do you care if some humans get enslaved? By the rules of logic, YOU should have slaves!
>Well, more for me and my wife then. Oh, and Chrysoula also.
>...Fiiineee. I'll hire some people.
>What's wrong with wanting a cult to worship you? It's fun.
>I understand.
>Come on, please?
>Write-In
>>
>>690208
>They like it. It's better then how they live, alright?
>What's wrong with wanting a cult to worship you? It's fun.
>>
>>690214
This
>>
"They like it. It's better then how they live. What's wrong with wanting a cult to worship you anyways?"

She seems a little angry.

"I said I wouldn't help when it comes to your damned slavery... And I intend not to. Now, stop disturbing me."

Actions.

>Fine.
>Only if you dominate my slaves, please.
>No. I'm not leaving until you help.
>Kiss her so she'll calm down a little.
>Don't take that tone with me, Frankizka.
>What's wrong? The cult or the slavery bit?
>Write-in
>>
>>690231
>What's wrong? The cult or the slavery bit?
>>
"What's wrong? The cult or slavery bit?"

"The slavery bit. I don't give a damn about the cult. But I can't do that, and I will not help you with slavery. Now, are you here for anything else or will you be going?"

"I need you though!"

"I don't enjoy stealing other men's freedoms. I was a serf most of my life and I will never forget it. I value my freedom and others, damn it."

"Oh..."

"Now go before I try to argue with you about your slavery of honest Bretonnians. Unless you want to talk to me about something else."

She definitely seems annoyed. And a little sad.

Actions.

>I see. What's so bad about being a peasant in Bretonnia anyways?
>You're a vampire now. You're the queen of an empire. You are not a peasant. You are NOWHERE near a peasant.
>Pat her on the back?
>I promise you the slavery is good and just.
>I see... I'll try not to do so much slavery then.
>They'll be freed... Eventually.
>Just because they're my slaves, I think I'll let them go, alright?
>Write-iN
>>
>>690244
>They'll be freed... Eventually
>You're a vampire now. You're the queen of an empire. You are not a peasant. You are NOWHERE near a peasant.
>>
>>690244
>You're a vampire now. You're the queen of an empire. You are not a peasant. You are NOWHERE near a peasant.
>I promise you the I do slavery is good and just.
>>
"Come on, you're a vampire now. You're the queen of an empire. You are not a peasant, and you are NOWHERE near a peasant."

"Ren, the past is very important. And like it or not, I'm still a peasant."

"I know. But they'll be freed eventually, and I promise you the slavery I do is good and just."

"There is nothing "good and just" about enslaving a man! By Sigmar's Hammer, I despise people who try to claim their evil is good or justice."

"I'm no-":

"Get out of my sight, Ren. I won't argue with you, but I am utterly disgusted by you trying to justify this to me."

"I mean... Come on."

"I don't care how you justify your slavery to me, but there is a set of morals I will violate for no man or dragon. Understand?"

Actions

>I think it's best I take my leave if you're angry towards me.
>Frankizka, calm down, ok?
>...Fine then. If you didn't want to marry a warmongering enslaving tyrant, then you shouldn't of.
>Well, one day in the future my empire will embrace serfdom. And I don't think you'd like that.
>...Come on, maybe we should relax a little together.
>Let's change the subject then.
>What about necromancy? You're basically enslaving their bodies after their death.
>...I see. You associate slavery with serfdom.
>Well, you nearly violated it for blood earlier... How strong are those convictions?
>I'm sorry. I'll be leaving now.
>...Do you rememember how we first met? You in chains and me seducing you? Well, if you refuse to help me then that'll happen, but much less seduction.
>What's with you humans and your ideas of freedom? It seems so radical...
>I won't fight you over this.
>There is nothing evil or good about slavery, but my form of slavery is humane and kind!
>Write-in
>>
>>690295
>I think it's best I take my leave if you're angry towards me.
>Find Chrysoula
>>
>>690295
>Frankizka, calm down, ok?
>I won't fight you over this.
>I think it's best I take my leave if you're angry towards me.


Jesus I go for a meal and I return to find every anon being a god damn idiot! Don't do that sort of shit!
>>
"Frankizka, calm down. I won't fight you over this and if you need me, I'll be seeing Frankizka."

She nods her head and goes back to reading her book. You sigh and go to find Chrysoula... Who you find to be sleeping on the floor, snoring.

"Horny?"

You hear her chuckle and yawn. She opens her eyes.

"Yeah? Need something?"

Actions.

>Nice to see you can take a joke.
>Do you want a bed?
>...Erh, would you mind if I just got beside you?
>I got you some slaves! How many do you want?
>You remind me of a particular tapestry maker...
>How are you getting along with Elizabeth?
>Want to pillage some villages with me and my wife? Or if you feel like it... The two of us?
>Write-In
>>
>>690409
>Do you want a bed?
>I got you some slaves! How many do you want?
>>
"Do you want a bed?"

"Well... None of the beds here really hold my weight. And tend to get crushed."

"I see."

"I uh, also got you some slaves. How many do you want?"

"...I'm sort of clueless to this sort of thing. How many would you recommend?"

"I'm honestly not sure..."

"Ten?"

Actions.

>That's rather humble of you. Why not twenty?
>Erh... Five please?
>Ten sounds good.
>...Don't worry about it. You'll get plenty more slaves... Plenty more...
>Don't mistreat them or anything, ok?
>Write-In
>>
>>690438
>...Don't worry about it. You'll get plenty more slaves... Plenty more...
>Don't mistreat them or anything, ok?
>>
>>690441
This
>>
You give her ten slaves.

"By the way, don't worry about it. You'll get plenty more slaves. Plenty more... Just don't mistreat them or anything, ok? Frankizka would never forgive me."

"I see... So uh, want to talk or anything?"

"Why?"

"...Well, why not?"

Actions

>...You know if a bed won't hold your weight I could make a bed for you... I mean, I am a sculpture artist after all... How hard is a bed? (Sculpture)
>So... What's our relationship, really? It's sort of confusing with you being Flame's wife.
>So, fight anyone recently?
>Erh, what exactly do you do all day here?
>...You know, could you help me out? You're a strong woman, and can splatter Skaven into giblets when you were weaker... Could you find me a bandit camp and dipose of it? It would help my brother out a lot.
>...Should I try to get my brother on this whole slavery thing?
>Don't tell my brother about the fact we're enslaving people, ok?
>Write-In
>>
>>690452
>...You know if a bed won't hold your weight I could make a bed for you... I mean, I am a sculpture artist after all... How hard is a bed? (Sculpture)
>>
>>690452
>...You know if a bed won't hold your weight I could make a bed for you... I mean, I am a sculpture artist after all... How hard is a bed? (Sculpture)
>>
"You know, if you want I could make a bed for you... I mean, I am a sculpture artist after all. How hard is a bed?"

"Really? Thanks."

Roll me a 1d20+5 for chiseling and making a great bed.
>>
Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>690467
>>
Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>690467
>>
16+5=21

Success!

You chisel out a rather comfortable bed for Chrysoula, which you style in a Greek fashion... You even put little columns similar on the ends and small engravings of Greek gods.

"Chrysoula, come in!"

She comes in, and sees the bed.

"...I never thought I'd miss one."

"Yeah. You know, I was adverse to the mortal invention until the King of Sweden forced me to adapt to sleeping in one... And I must admit, it is rather comfortable."

"Right... Thank you, a lot. It's much better then sleeping on the ground." She gives you a kiss on the cheek... And a few seconds go by awkardly.

"Fuck. Sorry. I... I thought you were Flames for a moment." She seems embarrassed, her head slightly lowered.

Actions.

>It's fine, you can kiss me too.
>...Don't do it again.
>It's fine, don't worry about it.
>...Return the favor? Kiss?
>...That's a rather strange way to show thanks, you know.
>...How dare you! In my brother's home no less!
>...I'll just be outside.
>I was honestly expecting this sooner.
>You do this to everyone who helps you?
>...Goddamn it, I already regret letting Flames marry. Now it's weird.
>Oh man, I need to tell Flames this... I'll be right back after shittalking him!
>Wow, you really are Horny after all!
>Write-In
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>690488
>It's fine, you can kiss me too.
>>
>>690488
>It's fine, you can kiss me too.
>You do this to everyone who helps you?
>I was honestly expecting this sooner.
>>
"Listen, it's fine. You can kiss me too."

"Right... I'm uh, sorry, again."

"...It's fine. If you need anything, shout. But you do this to everyone who helps you?"

"Heh, no."

"Honestly though, I was expecting this sooner."

"Oh, right. I'll make sure to make this more awkward then. But uh... Stay safe, alright?"

"Got it."

You leave and close the door, and begin to gather up your slaves, sending ten to Chrysoula and you fly the rest back to the refinery... After a little bit they seem rather... Well, they don't really like the idea of being held captive in a barracks really. And that's when you say you'll be making it a bit better for them. In addition you appoint a bookkeeper on one of the more... Well, intelligent serfs. Who can miraculously read.

Actions.

>...You'll make this like a small town. A church here (to you of course), and plenty of houses.
>...You know, maybe a few trees here and there could look nicer... And disguise it better.
>...Maybe you should till a farm for them, so you don't have to get food for them every day... But this may impact how much oil you get.
>...Fine, you'll make a few more barracks. They can live with it.
>...Honestly, maybe you should make a church to Jesus or God? Jesus is a cool guy, though God is a bit of a dick...
>...Wait, improve their lives? Why not PROFIT off of it?! You think of factories... And you do need a factory to produce the illustrious soda mead eventually...
>Write-In
>>
>>690525
>...You'll make this like a small town. A church here (to you of course), and plenty of houses.

>...You know, maybe a few trees here and there could look nicer... And disguise it better.

>...Maybe you should till a farm for them, so you don't have to get food for them every day... But this may impact how much oil you get.

>Write-In
Create an additional area for their eventual children / any more slaves we get.

Create a central market, jail, hospital, library / archive (for our slave records plus any of their own writings) and a treasury.


>...Honestly, maybe you should make a church to Jesus or God? Jesus is a cool guy, though God is a bit of a dick...
>>
>>690525
>...You know, maybe a few trees here and there could look nicer... And disguise it better.
>>
You start building up... Which will take you a few days even as a dragon.

...What? You're working with combustible materials. And a few slaves.

After a very, very long time, nearly three days on the job, you've made a rather nice suburban town. They may be slaves living in a gilded cage... But no doubt they're comfortable... You have a small farm... Oh man, this will be a great place to set up a summer home. You give the slaves the plans to making you a comfortable dragon (and them protected slaves)... Which are...

Actions. You can combine two of these together if you feel like describing it.

>What? You just want a large cave which can fit you in your dragon form... And maybe Elizabeth as well. You have to act like a dragon at some point.
>...Castle. You love the idea of fortifications... Even if they're starting to be outdated with the times.
>You were just thinking a cabin. Something to run away to when you don't feel like being a dragon... That sort of thing.
>Eh, you were thinking about a mansion. Something a little less impressive then your current palace... But still something nice.
>...This is France... Basically speaking, why not try to create a copy of Versailies?
>You personally want a HUGE palace. Bigger then the one you had in your dimension. Much bigger.
>You were thinking...Hm. Well... Nothing really. You don't really plan on "staying" here for very long.
>...You may need some dwarves for this, but you always loved the idea of living underground in a dwarven keep.
>Write-In
>>
>>690561
>Eh, you were thinking about a mansion. Something a little less impressive then your current palace... But still something nice.
>Write-In
With a nice basement, in case we want to do something secretive here.
>>
You give them orders to make a mansion with a nice basement... In case you want to do something secretive, of course.

With that done, you remember you were planning to make them worship you... Right, right.

Actions.

>Eh, no. No need for some bugger to stumble upon this village and realize they're worshiping a dragon, Could be quite suspicious.
>Oh, you know the old ways are the best ways... Forcibly convert them. They're slaves after all.
>You'll figure this out later.
>...Maybe you can convince them your an "avatar" of Sigmar or this Myrimida girl?
>...Your sort of curious of what Myrimidia is. Ask a slave who she is...
>...Religion can suck your... Well, don't say that. Maybe turn your church into a school. Or a school-church... Of course that means you have to find people to man it.
>Who cares? You just like the ego rush it gives you. Appoint some guy as "priest". Who cares what he does?
>...Well, you'll try to impress them or otherwise be awesome.
>...You know, maybe that church dedicated to you should be dedicated to one of THEIR gods. Like that.. Myrimdia girl, or Sigmar. That'd give you bonus points with them.
>Write-In
>>
>>690587
>...Religion can suck your... Well, don't say that. Maybe turn your church into a school. Or a school-church... Of course that means you have to find people to man it.
>...You know, maybe that church dedicated to you should be dedicated to one of THEIR gods. Like that.. Myrimdia girl, or Sigmar. That'd give you bonus points with them.


The previous village had a priest, just get him to do it along with the one who can read, just assure the next generation will be at least somewhat educated.
>>
You appoint the previous village's priest in charge of the newly constructed school-church, and you decide to dedicate it to a different deity rather then you...

Actions.

>...Fenrir, what deities are there? Just curious.
>...Sigmar, he's known and the god of one of your wives.
>Let the priest decide. That's his decision.
>...Myrimdia. Whoever she is.
>For God and Jesus!
>Well... No reason to brag... But you'd still like it to remain a church dedicated to you.
>...Khorne. He deserves it!
>Why not the Norse Pantheon, if it's here?
>...Well, the priest is probably a Myrmidant... Why don't you ask him who the hell she is?
>Write-In
>>
>>690607
>Let the priest decide. That's his decision.
>>
>>690607
>...Well, the priest is probably a Myrmidant... Why don't you ask him who the hell she is?
>>
You let the priest decide, and you realize you've finished setting up the village. You say goodbye and head home... And you tell them the oil must flow, after all...

You also have learned from the priest that Myrimida seems to be the goddess of soldiers, warfare, strategy, and tactics...

You arrive home and head inside to your palace, where you see your brother Richard talking with Frankizka.

"Oh, hey brother... I have a question for you."

Frankizka looks at you and walks away calmly.

"Erh, what is it?"

"Since you've arrived, villages have been looted and it's populace vanished... Not to mention a town known as D'Ason coming under a reported attack of two dragons... This wasn't you, was it?"

Actions

>...Erh, no. (Lie)
>It was. But I had noble intentions, you see...
>That was probably another dragon.
>...Did it have a Khornate symbol by the belly-button?
>What happens if I said yes?
>Really?! I'll make sure if I find these two vile dragons that I give them a talking to and send them back to whever they came from!
>Erh, how did you hear of this?
>This is bad why?
>Write-In
>>
>>690623
>Write-In
"In my defence, my wife wanted a Pegasus. We've not been on the best terms so it worked out for the best.

As to the villagers, they are alive before you ask, along with the kidnapped knights, in a town I've built to sustain a refinery for oil. They live seemingly good lives, follow their own gods and I intend to further improve their lives over time. Mostly since it benefits me but still."
>>
>>690648
This.
>>
"In my defense, my wife wanted a Pegasus... We've not been on the best terms so it worked out for the best. As to the villagers, they are alive along with the kidnapped knights in a town I built to sustain a refinery for oil... They live good lives and follow their own gods. Mostly since it benefits me..."

He sighs and puts his hand in his head.

"Listen, I need you to stop raiding villages and cities."

"Erh, why?"

"Because D'Ason suffered a chaos uprising as soon as you left since the garrison was terrified, but luckily they were fought off, then Orks and Beastmen moved into the area around the villages and set up villages and camps."

"...Oh."

"Which means two roads have been blocked off which are vital for the economy, and the Bretonnian army is fighting the Empire. This is bad."

"...I see."

"You cannot just randomly raid villages. Not to mention there's legal problems which I get to deal with since you confessed to me, and not to mention disrupting the Bretonnian supply lines. Heavily."

"...Erh, so..."

"You may of just hurt the war effort against the Empire. Good job."

"Come on, seriously? The beastmen and Orks would of moved in anyways..."

"No, because the civilians scared them off simply by projecting our influence and area. Now there's Orks and Beastmen crawling all over there! And now they're preying on supply caravans to the front!"

You sigh, slightly.
"Can we do anything?"

"Not as now, no."

"I see... What are the legal problems?"

"Because I'm going to have to think up a reason to not drag my brother to the Court of Lords in a trial. Which is taking up valuable time, I might add."

He walks off... And he turns towards you.

"I beg you, don't try to raid anything else unless it'll help us... If you need me I'll be getting drunk and trying to send as ineligible letter as possible."
He walks out, somewhat angry, but mostly disappointed.

Actions.

>...Well, you'll make your brother's life easier. Time to purge some beastmen and Orks.
>...Court? Legal court? Oh hell no. You're out.
>...You need to rest a little with your wife. Or wives. Because your tired as fuck.
>Richard, let me explain!
>...Well, time to find Elizabeth and her new pegasus. She'll be so pleased, right?
>...You're personally wondering if you can wrestle a little with Chrysoula or something...
>...You should probably apologize to Frankizka.
>Write-In
>>
>>690676
>...You should probably apologize to Frankizka.
>>
You decide to apologize to Frankizka, who you find sleeping in her bed...

Actions.

>...Well then, your a smooth operator. Get into her bed with her. And then wake her up.
>...Frankizka? Get up please.
>...Frankizka, there is no way you fell asleep that fast. Wake up.
>...I get the idea, leave you the hell alone. Fine, I'll talk to someone else.
>...Oh my God! There's a Skaven in here!
>Write-in
>>
>>690676
>...You should probably apologize to Frankizka.
>Write-In
"What if I killed off the beastmen and orks? Would that compensate for my crimes? Hell, if you tell me where other groups of them are I'll take care of them, along with any non-khornist chaos cultists."
>>
>>690692
>...I get the idea, leave you the hell alone. Fine, I'll talk to someone else.
>>
"Right, right. I get the idea, leave you alone. Fine, I'll talk to someone else."

You take your leave and decide to talk to someone else...

Actions.

>...Go to bed, nothing to do really.
>See how Chrysoula's adjusting to her slaves...
>Visit Elizabeth, maybe she's training the Pegasus or something?
>You know, you should try talking to your brother... But he's probably drunk by now.
>...Maybe you should go out and personally take care of the beastmen and orks.
>...The Refinery might of made oil by now. Go and check... So you can burn this swamp to the ground, hopefully.
>Write-In
>>
>>690723
>...The Refinery might of made oil by now. Go and check... So you can burn this swamp to the ground, hopefully.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if it made oil.
>>
Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>690755
>>
6+5=11
Failure!

It seems to have produced but a trickle of oil, which you leave be and fly back... Until you see a campfire on the shore, and what seems to be longboats.
Huh. You fly overhead and notice it seems to be a warband of... Well, Vikings. But in less armor.

It is also nighttime.

Actions

>... Interesting. Land beside these raiders.
>Land in the forest and shapeshift.
>Eh, breathe some fire towards them and continue flying on.
>Maybe you should tell your jester?
>...Fly on. Nothing too interesting.
>Write In

Going to be back in an hour anons.
>>
>>690795
>... Interesting. Land beside these raiders.


Find out more about them, we'll either get slaves, followers or mercenaries. We could use some of them for our new town project, since it would allow us to send some of the villagers back. Assuming they wanted to leave.
>>
You land alongside the Norscans, and they seem very startled to see you.

"Hello! I am Renexizious, and I believe you are trespassing on my territory... Why are you here?"

You see the leader of the lot, a man in fur armor and metal pauldrons yell in Norwegian.

"We're here for loot, women, and plunder!"

The men cheer.

"On who's orders?"

"Queen Ragnhild of the Bjornlings! Destroyer of the Graelings, and even the Skaelings!"

"I see..."

Actions.

>And who are you, prehaps?
>I see... What religion do you all follow?
>Quite interesting. Well, if you'll excuse me... I demand you surrender.
>Who exactly is she?
>Sorry, but you'll have to deal with me if you want this land's money.
>Have a good time!
>...I recommend going farther south in my opinion.
>Write-In
>>
>>690974
>Who exactly is she?
>Quite interesting. Well of you'll excuse me I'm going to have to demand you surrender.
>>
"Well, not to be rude but who exactly is she?"

"She's blessed by the gods she is! She led our clan to victory against the Graeling bastards and the Skaelings while their men were away at war with the Imperials! We conquered their clans, took their women, and expanded thricefold since she took control of our clan once the Everchosen was slain!"

"I see..."

"We call her Ragnhild the Shield-Maiden, or to some, the Hammerer!"

"Rather interesting... Well, if you all excuse me, I'm going to have to demand you surrender."

They laugh heartily.

"We do not fear death! We are the men of the North and if we die in battle, our afterlife will truly be glorious!"

"...I remember that bit."

"Now if you'll get out of our way, we have women, riches, and glory to achieve!"

Actions

>Stomp him then.
>...I think you'll all recognize a symbol of your gods... Just look at my belly.
>I don't think you understand. This job pays fairly well, and all you have to do is make sure none of my slaves escape..
>Nom him.
>So, who's ready to die?
>I see. Well, have fun then.
>What's your name?
>...How do you all know that isn't misinterpted? For all you know, fighting could send you to... Hell?
>Listen, my offer is far, far better then what anyone else will give you. You'll all get killed ingloriously by random things if you proceed further into the land! (Charisma, HARD)
>...Roar. Then tell them that resistance is futile to a sixity-four story dragon. (Intimidation, HARD)
>If you all surrender, I may just give you a worthy opponent... One of my wives, I believe. A minotaur...
>Write-In
>>
>>691030
>Nom him
>So. Who wants to die next?
We might need to talk to this whoever the hell she is.
>>
You lower your head towards him, pick him up with your tongue, and swallow. His very soul is taken by Khorne while his mortal body dissolves slowly.

"So, who wants to die next?"

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if they'll fight with you or not.
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>691056
Well that was unnecessary.
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>691056
Rolling
>>
7+3=10

Failure!

The marauders cheer and draw their weapons and rush towards you.

"FOR GLORY!" Some cry, and grab onto your feet...

There are fourty marauders trying to climb up your foot!

Actions.

>...Hold on, we can talk about this! You don't have to throw your lives away! (Charisma, HARD)
>...Roll over on the beach! That might squish or get rid of them.
>Ice Aura to slow them down!
>Try nomming a few with Flames! You can grab a small few!
>Easy. Rush towards the water and see about trying to drown the ticks...
>Try to shake them off!
>Take flight!
>Write-In
>>
>>691081
>Ice Aura to slow them down.
>>
You use your frost aura, and it seems the marauders lose a few men to your acidic blood... They begin to climb up to your leg, slowly... You stomp around wildly, trying to get them off of you!

Actions.

>Summon Smaug to pick them off! (Summoning)
>Shake your leg like you have nothing to lose!
>Breathe ice down your leg! I mean, you are immune to it after all!
>Try to nom a few of them!
>This is suicide, stop! (Charisma, HARD)
>Roar as loud as possible. They'll fall off hopefully! (Intimidation)
>Roll around on the ground!
>Try to drown them in the sea!
>Take off!
>I don't think any of you realize that if I eat you your soul is MINE and will not be going anywhere? (Intimidation, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>691147
>I don't think any of you realize if I est you your soul is mine and will not be going anywhere.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7, additional +2 if you can creep or terrify them with what will happen to them if you do eat them.
>>
Rolled 18 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>691166
I forgot to mention this but if I eat you your soul goes to a dark god of chaos while your soul is corrupted by a very. Very painful method for eternity.
>>
18+9=27

"I don't think any of you realize that if I do eat you, your soul is MINE and not going anywhere? Besides, it goes to a dark god of Chaos while your very soul is corrupted by a very, very painful method for eternity..."

This seems to worry the marauders, enough where you shake them off and they fall to the ground, somewhat injured... There's about... Well, forty now.

Actions.

>...Nom them. Khorne could use more souls.
>Grab them and throw their weapons into the sea... Slaves could be useful...
>Crush them.
>...Where is this Queen at, first of all?
>Get back in your ships and be lucky I spared you.
>Write-in
>>
>>691230
>Where is this queen first of all?
>Now leave before I eat you and. Well you know what happens afterwards.
>>
"Now, where is this Queen?"

"In Norsca! The great tribe of the Bjorn on the west coast!"

You let them flee back into their ships, and they quickly flee from you... And sail away.

Actions.

>...Maybe you should ask Khorne who she is... And if she worships him.
>Well, let's head homeward...
>...Well, to Norsca then. You have some time to spend!
>You feel like being a dick. Eat the ship as it leaves.
>Or, if you want slaves anyways... Pick up the ship.
>...Flames, feel like raiding some more villages for more slaves for more factories?
>Flames, any thoughts about this Queen?
>Write-In
>>
>>691272
>Flames any thoughts on the queen?
>Well, to Norsca then. You have time to spend!

Our agenda is somewhat free right OP?
>>
Yep!

Flames, any thoughts on the queen?

Well, why are we going there?

Mostly curiously... But come on. adventure awaits!

You take off, and begin flying to Norsca.
It takes a few hours of flying and terrifying sailors when you see a rather large settlement off the coast... Well protected with nearly a hundred ships in it's harbor to boot! There seems to be a market in the center of the town and a handful of crude farms... And you see a huge meadhall, only slightly smaller then your palace.

Actions.

>Go underwater!
>Land right by the meadhall!
>Land outside of the town and shift down!
>Fly overhead and DEMAND to speak to the queen!
>...Oooh, Norwegians... It's been a while since you ate any. Rampage?
>Land by the meadhall and rip off it's roof!
>...Flames, what should we do when we meet her?
>Write-In
>>
>>691308
>Land outside the town and shift down
>So flames what should we do when we meet her?
>>
You land outside of the town, and shift down to your human form...

So, Flames... What should we do once we see her?

That depends. Are we breaking with our usual policy when we meet a female ruler to seduce and tumble them?

Actions.

>Come on, I'm just curious...
>Yes, because I came all the way to Norsca just to get laid by a viking.
>Well, I was thinking along the lines of loot, sack, pillage...
>I think we should stop her if she worships Chaos, agreed?
>...How could you tell I wanted to seduce another ruler?
>Come on, answer once I've entered the city...
>Personally I'm looking for more slaves... Maybe she can help me?
>I'm sort of here for a missionary role.
>Write-In
>>
>>691338
>I'm not sure yet.
>Did you think I came all the way here to get laid by a Viking?

Is that really our usual policy?
>>
Well... Maybe. It'll bedpend later though.[/red

Got it.

You begin to wak into town... Roll me a 1d0+6 5.
>>
File: 0a1.jpg (62 KB, 428x410)
62 KB
62 KB JPG
>>691575
>That post tho.
The hell is this?
What does 1d0+6 5 mean?
>>
>>691587
It's a 1d20 damn it!

Also I'm back anons.
>>
I hate myself sometimes anons. So roll me a 1d20+5.
>>
Rolled 17 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>692382
Glad to see you're done with your drunken QMing fender.
>>
Rolled (1d0)

>>692390
And I'll try rolling a 1d0 just incase

Enjoy whilst I kek heartily.
>>
Thanks anon. My scottish blood helps sometimes... But not always.

17+5=22

Good Success!

You enter the tribe without causing any alarm to go off, and you admit it's well populated... The streets are awfully crowded, and it smells terrible... Not to mention there's farm animals everywhere! The market center is practically crawling with them, but also with exotic spices, weapons, and in one case, a handful of... Ooh, slaves for half off straight from The Empire... Huh, that's a good deal...

Ren, eyes on the target, stop trying to find good deals!

You sadly move on, but not before buying a few baubles, such as a strangely carved stone, a human skull with a magical rune in it, though it's rather suspect... And what seems to be a book of puns in German.

You walk away confidently.

...Good job buying useless shit.

What? How is th- Holy shit your fucking right! I just spent my horde on two useless baubles!"

How much did they cost?

I think just a few coppers.

Oh, cool. What's a few coppers?

The two of you internally stare are Fenrir.

...Why is everyone silent?

...Just stop. I could of spent those coppers on butter, or bathed in them!

We rarely bathe in our own money...

Well, that's because it's not GOLD COINS! We have paper money! It's not as fun in...

Right.

You go back to reality... And you see three locations of interest...

Actions.

>Go towards the Meadhall to meet this... Queen.
>You know, there's a few things you want to buy at the market... Maybe something for Frankizka or Elizabeth... And maybe for your first kiss with Chrysoula?
>...Let's just head home, alright?
>Let's find a bar! I need to be drunk, eh?
>Shift into another form?
>Write-In
>>
>>692463
Were you legit drunk when you wrote that?
>Pic of OP upon sobering up.


>Go towards the Marshall to meet this queen.
We're probably going to drink heavily.
Fight
Then tumble.
>>
Go towards the marshal?
What the fuck are you drinking?

I was fucking exhausted and drunk. Which doesn't help.
>>
>>692486
>I'm sorry I had another attack where my mind blanks out and I type shit wrong.
Defective brain a shit.

>Go to the queen.
Eyes on the prize.
Viking tumbling.
>>
You head towards the meadhall to meet the Queen, and as you approach you see two rather intoxicated (and large) guards. Singing somesort of battle thing.

"Excuse me sir, but can I enter?"

"Sir? I tell ye' what Haruld, all these southern folk need to get out..."

"He doesn't seem to be a bad sort."

"He used me wrong pronoun!"

"...Pronoun?"

"It's somesort of thing I heard from a scholar down in Nordland... Cute lass. Second wife, I think."

"I see."

"But anyways, anyone can enter the Meadhall so long as they are warriors!"

"What's defined as a warrior?"

"As long as you aren't dead, really... Anyways, go on inside. Try anything and we'll make sure your blood goes good with our weapons."

"I see. Nice to see I'm so well protected."

"Eh, you're lucky you give us money to trade here southerner. Now go inside before you trip or something."

You pass the guards and enter the meadhall... Which smells like alcohol, vomit, and more alcohol. You hear a merry song being sung, and as you look around you see weapons of every type, shields, and bows. Hell, on one corner of a wall seems to be a rack of trophies... Each one belonging to a monster. Huh...
After you finish looking around the room, you see a massive hearth, surrounded by lightly armored men drinking, and as you go down further the table, you see they become more armored... And in addition it seems there's small stairs going up to elevate some people above others.

You go to move towards the end where presumably the Queen would be, when some of the men sitting at the table (More heavily armored, in plate) look at you and laugh.

"What are you doing this far down, Southerner? Sit at the end like the rest of your folk." One of them says. You note an axe on the table, and have an idea.

Actions.

>Erh, no. I have an important job.
>I need to get laid and I need to do it now, damn it.
>...Where's the Queen?
>May I compliment you on your... Furry armor? It truly reminds me of home.
>...Excuse yourself and shift to become larger as a human. It seems these men only respect strength and size... And not manlets.
>Shapeshift?
>Knee him in the privates.
>...Shapeshift and THEN knee him in the privates.
>...Grab the axe. You'll get her attention by being a good warrior... Even if you never used one of these in your life.
>Write-In
>>
>>692560
>Running bait.exe

>Hey who the fuck are you telling to sit at the end of the table. Real men don't sit there. Now put up your fists so I can show you what a man is.

This is gonna be good.
>>
"Hey who the fuck are you telling ot sit at the end of the table? Real men don't sit there. Now put up your fists so I can show you what a man is!"

He laughs and gets up... He's slight taller then you.

Roll me a 1d20+6 for how well this goes.
>>
Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>692593
Praying for good dice roolls
>>
Allowing for samefaggotry!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>692601
I assume samefaggotry is allowed.
So yea.
Shameless samefaggotry.
>roolls
Dangit.
>>
Rolled 3 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>692607
Wow.
Another five.
Final roll.
>>
In this episode Ren gets 1 HIT KOed.

5+6=11
Great Failure!

He punches you right in the mouth, knocking you down and hurting your jaw like a motherfucker. He and his friends laugh, and begin to kick you around a bit before a few guards intervene, and you hear general laughing around the court towards you.
Great.

The man sits back down and chugs some ale, while you generally hurt all over.

Actions

>Oh, you're getting revenge on that guy.
>...Great, time to turn the corner and become slightly bigger and stronger. No need to be laughed at...
>...That's it, shapeshift!
>Just continue on, it's not worth it.
>Write-in
>>
>>692630
>Shift a good bit bigger
>Enter dragon blooded form

>Looks like I actually might have to try a bit harder.
>>
You excuse yourself and you practically get laughed out, and you shift to become four feet taller, and a little more... Well, protected. You re-enter the meadhall and continue down, unbothered.

Eventually you reach towards the end, and see a rather heavily armored figure sitting on a throne and eating some food. After getting to a better angle, you indeed see it's a rather barbaric looking female with black hair, and a... Huh, has a khornate symbol around her left eye.
That's nice to know.

Actions.

>...Maybe you should introduce yourself?
>Hey, Fenrir... Looks like Khorne has more women then you. How does it feel being forever alone?
>You need to get her attention somehow.
>...You distinctly remember the term "blessed by the gods". Blessed by the gods means mutated. Ask some higher-up guy what mutations she has... You'd rather NOT find that her privates are trying to eat little Adolf or something.
>Nope, no crazy Khornate for you. You already have Chrysoula.
>...Khorne? Does she actually worship you or is she just honoring you?
>Write-In
>>
>>692662
>Khorne? Does she actually worship you or is she just honoring you?

>You distinctly remember the term "blessed by the gods". Blessed by the gods means mutated. Ask some higher-up guy what mutations she has... You'd rather NOT find that her privates are trying to eat little Adolf or something.

Tumbling a khornate Viking.

I conflicted about this.
>>
You poke one of the higher ups on their shoulder.

"What?"

"I'm uh... Just curioius. What mutations does the Queen have?"

"Nothing major. She had claws, then personally removed them."

"...Removed them?"

"From what I hear, with a axe!"

"Right... So claws?"

"I believe that's it."

"Nice to know."

You of course decide to contact Khorne.

Hey, Khorne? Does this Queen Raghnild actually worship you?

HER? SORT OF. SHE CALLS ME "KHARN" RATHER THEN KHORNE, SO IT'S NOT OUTRIGHT WORSHIP. BUT SHE'S PLEASED ME MOSTLY IN KILLING MY FOLLOWERS DOWN SOUTH... I THINK THE SKRAELINGS.

Right... So not an outright crazy bitch who's out for blood and skulls?

NOT REALLY. I'M TRYING TO GET HER TO JOIN CHAOS, SO DON'T FUCK IT UP FOR ME, ALRIGHT?

Actions.

>Why do you want her to worship you directly?
>...Aw, maybe I'll convert her away from semi-worshipping you. It'll be a bonding moment or something.
>...Well, I suppose that would make courting her a lot easier if I don't have to bring her the skulls and severed heads of her enemies.
>...Eh... Now I don't want to tumble some bitch who's mutated slightly, thanks.
>If you want, I can help you convert her.
>Does she angry as fuck or anything? I'm just curious.
>What other gods does she worship?
>Write-In
>>
>>692684
>What other gods does she worship?
>Does she angry as fuck or anything? I'm curious.


Also you never answered.
Is it our policy to tumble female rulers?
>>
>>692691
I guess? It's just what anons gravitate towards nearly 100% of the time.

Does she worship other gods?

YEAH. NOTHING TOO IMPORTANT THOUGH. MOST ARE JUST DAEMONS IN DISGUISE, EXECPT HER WORSHIP OF ULRIC.

I see... Does she get angry as fuck? I'm curious.

NOT REALLY? SHE'S NOT A KHORNATE BESERKER. BUT SHE'S BASICALLY A SHIELD MAIDEN, SO SHE'S PRETTY FUCKING BRAVE.

Actions.

>I see. Thank you for your time Khorne.
>I'll make sure to not mention religion then.
>...Who's Ulric?
>You won't mind if I convert her to a different faith, would you?
>So no severed heads as a gift. Got it.
>Be right back, about to tumble viking.
>Write-In
>>
>>692703
>Who's Ulric?
>I see. Thank you for your time Khorne.

Yeah it seems about standard.
I probably no exception.
>>
Who's Ulric?

PRETTY CHILL DUDE. GOD OF WOLVES, WINTER, AND BATTLE I THINK. I DON'T REMEMBER. BASICALLY THE GUY WHO UPLIFTED SIGMAR TO GODHOOD FOR BEING PRETTY COOL.

Got it. Thank you Khorne.

You return to reality, and forumlate a plan.

Actions.

>No, no tumbling semi-Khornate viking.
>Well, walk up smooth and introduce yourself.
>...There's an old technique. Grab her and make a break for the nearest bedroom. What's being subtle?
>...Ask a higher-up who her most disliked person is in this court. Then take care of them.
>...Easy. Go up to her and just kiss her. That's all that's needed.
>...Old favorite, lust pheromones.
>Shapeshift?
>Challenge her to a duel or something?
>Write-In
>>
>>692723
>Challenge her to a duel or something?
Wouldn't it be one of these.
Only someone stronger than her types?
Let's do it.
>>
You brutely come up to her and poke her shoulder.

"What is it?"

"I want to fucking fight you."

"...I see." She smiles, entertained.

'Is that a yes or a no?"

"I'll see you outside then. Take a weapon from my personal armory though."

"Why?"

"No one's has had the balls to try and challenge me to a duel for a while. I think I should at least make sure your weapon is... Well, decent."

Actions.

>...I think I can supply my own weapon, thank you.
>I see. Well, thank you for your offer. I'll gladly take you up on it.
>Well, you're about to find out how many balls I do have... Well, after the duel of course.
>Why don't we set a bet?
>...This isn't to the death, is it?
>Write-In
>>
>>692734
>So is it to the death or no?
>Well your about to find out how many balls I have. Well after the duel of course.
>No need for a weapon. I prefer to just burn or stomp most things. It'll just get in the way.

I have an ominous feeling.
Probably nothing.
>>
"So, is it to the death or not?"

"Of course not, then we wouldn't have any warriors."

"I see... Well, you're about to find out how many balls I do have... Well, after the duel of course. Besides, no need for a weapon, I just prefer to burn or stomp most things. It'll just get in the way."

"...So you're going unarmed?" She seems somewhat confused.

Actions.

>...Well, yes. In a sense I am.
>...Well, I am a dragon. Why would I use mortal weaponry?
>Actually, I'll take a axe or something...
>Well, don't worry. I'm going easy on you in my human form so you won't get crushed or anything.
>...So just curious, if I win this I get to tumble you, right?
>Shapeshift?
>Write-In
>>
>>692763
>Well I'm a dragon. Don't worry though I'm going easy on you in human form.

Take the bait woman.
Take it.
>>
"Well, I'm a dragon. Don't worry, I'm going easy on you in human form."

She looks at you, no doubt thinking.

"...How about this... I'll fight you in your "human form" and then if you truly have your dragon form, I'll fight you that... Unless your a liar."

"What happens if I am?"

"We'll nail you outside of town on a pine tree."

Actions.

>...Come on, you aren't woman enough to handle me in dragon form? That's... Pretty pathetic, honestly.
>Smart of you. I agree.
>...Erh... I uh... I'm sick in my human form. So I can't fight in it.
>Then it'll just end up as a stalemate!
>Write-In
>>
>>692775
>Smart of you. I agree.
She didn't take the bait as completely as I hoped.
>>
"Well... Smart of you then. I agree."

"Get a weapon and meet me outside."

You nod your head and she gets out of her chair. A few of the men seem to be cheering the two of you on, and you go to her personal armory...

You notice that in a certain rack that it seems to have rather fancy carvings and a very ornate blade and shield... Something tells you that this is her weapons, as you take some generic axe and shield.

Actions.

>...Maybe a little sabotage can go a long way...
>What? Hell no. You aren't going to cheat.
>...Maybe you should try this axe out to make sure it isn't defective or anything.
>Eh... Toss the shield to the side. You'll go with a good old dual-wielding axe and sword... Though that requires agility.
>Toss the shield to the side and pick up the two-handed axe, which requires plenty of strength to use...
>Shift into your human form... Best to make it fair after all.
>Write-In
>>
>>692788
>Shift into human form.
>Grab the two handed axe

Hopefully our strength is high enough.
>>
You shift into your human form and grab the two-handed axe... You head outside... And Flames interrupts you.

So uh, why are we shifting to our dragon form?

Because I WANT to win?

If she does hurt you, we could permanently scar her with acid, or accidentally fall on her, or worse... There's a lot of ways this could go wrong.

Actions.

>Come on, it's literally just me grabbing her and kidnapping her. That's it.
>I can turn off the acid blood, you know.
>Let's uh... Well, why don't we see about being a half-dragon then? That's good enough.
>...Shit...
>You're implying I'm not just going to woo her enough that we just start tumbling in the middle of combat.
>Come on, I just want to boast that I had sex with a viking. I'm not trying to get another wife or some shit.
>Write-In
>>
>>692812
>I can turn off the acid blood ya know.
>Well why don't we see about being half dragon then? That's good enough.

No need to go all out.
>>
Right, right. I'll just turn off the acid blood. And just be a half-dragon then.

I see... So uh, why are we trying to tumble yet another female ruler?

Because it's fun?

Have you considered we might have bastard children? And Liz would be a little pissed if we didn't at least invite her to the tumbling.

Actions.

>...Fuck, I forgot about that. Well, she won't have to know.
>...Could we just kidnap her and tumble her with Liz? I mean, that's standard draconic procedure.
>You're just jealous you aren't tumbling the hot shield maiden.
>We're not doing anything serious, Goddamn.
>...But I like having bastard children...
>Come on, it's just a bit of fun while we're waiting for that refinery to make some oil.
>Write-In
>>
>>692824
>Fuck I forgot about that.
>Could we just kidnap her and tumble with Liz? Sounds like standard draconic procedure.
>>
Fuck, I forgot about that. Well, let's just kidnap her and tumble with Liz together... Sounds like standard draconic procedure.

Got it.

You of course return to reality and step out into the snow. You see Ragnhild come out with a sword and shield, and heavily armored.

"I hope a "dragon" will prove strong enough to beat me. But there's always a chance, eh?" She says to you.

Actions.

>Oh, at least make me work for it dear. Just because we aren't married doesn't mean you can go easy on me.
>Right, right... Now come on, let's fight.
>If it makes you feel better, I'm willing to bet that if you win Khorne would be amazed.
>Just saying you might want to prepare to never see your homeland again.
>I wish you honor in battle too.
>I hope you have resistance to getting tumbled by two dragons at once. It'll prove handy.
>...Wait, hold on... Just curious, if I win do I become the chieftan of the tribe or something?
>Write-In
>>
>>692849
>I hope you have a resistance to getting tumbled by two dragons at once. It'll come in handy.

>Now if you're ready to get beat let's do this.

Commence the shit rolls
>>
"I hope you have a resistance to getting tumbled by two dragons at once. It'll come in handy... Now, If you're ready to get defeated lets do this."

"Right. Now... If you'll let me, I have t-" She suddenly charges towards you yelling, shield and sword drawn in a instant! You quickly go for your axe!
It seems she wanted the advantage of surprise...

Roll me a 1d20+10 for how well you defend!
>>
Rolled 12 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>692866
>Praying to RNGesus intensifies.
>>
Rolled 15 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>692866
>>
12+10=22
vs
8+8=16

Success!

She charges straight at you, and you send your axe overheard straight into her shield, disrupting her charge. She pushes mightily against your axe embedded in her metal shield as she lunges for your side to stab, which you narrowly move out of the way and knee her slightly in the leg. She of course bends slightly downward, and you take this as the moment to pull out your axe and come crashing down on her... But she narrowly puts the shield up in time, deflecting it. The two of you circle around for a little bit, before you decide to swing your axe when she gets a little too close... The crowd cheers the two of you on in battle...

Roll me a 1d20+10 for offense!
>>
Rolled 14 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>692878
Tis time fer battle!
>>
Rolled 16 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>692878
>>
16+10=26
vs
18+8=26

Stalemate!

Anons, roll me a 1d20 to see if you can break it! Only first roll is used!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>692883
>>
>>692885
Fuggity
>>
11 vs 17

Great Failure!

You swing your axe which lazily misses her, and she rushes while you recover! She bashes you in the head with her shield, but you roll away from her stab. (-100 HP). You of course rush back for an attack overhead, which she shoves aside and stabs you in the lower leg, injuring you slight. (-200 HP)

Your current HP is 1,700.

You of course shove her away from you, and the two of you circle for a little bit, on edge on who'll attack first...

Roll me a 1d20+10 for who'll make the first strike...
>>
Rolled 18 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>692894
>>
18+10=28
vs
13+8=21

Great Success!

You fake an attack, only to kick her shield sending her onto the ground and she covers her head with a shield, and you bring your axe crashing down onto her shield, warping it. It fails to deal any damage, but her shield is unusable now, and you ply your axe out of it, by putting your foot on it... She however, rolls and knocks you slightly down, and it seems some shards of shield have caused a slight cut on her... You of course grab the shield, and toss it back at her, thudding into her head and leaving a nasty cut... And stunning her slightly. (-300 HP).

She snaps out of it quickly before you can recover though, sending the two of you once again into a circle, with her being slightly more injured then you...

Actions.

>Taunt her into attacking you!
>Just wait for her to attack.
>Charge!
>...Charge under the pretense of attacking, but in actually, is far different. A charge, and then a kiss to shock her utterly. You learned this tactic from terrible television!
>...You know, why don't you try talking to her or something while fighting?
>Apologize for hitting her so hard. And say you'd never hit a woman unless she wanted it...
>...Do something underhanded. Cast a spell or summon your familiar.
>Write-in
>>
>>692910
>Charge!
>Yell a battlecry. Preferably something Scottish
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10. Additional +2 for a good battlecry... Scottish or not.
>>
Rolled 20 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>692926
>FOR GLORY! FOR SCOTLAND! AND FOR TUMBLING!

Best warcry ever.
>>
Critical Success!

You charge forward, yelling.

"FOR GLORY! FOR SCOTLAND! AND FOR TUMBLING!".

"What?"

You ram into her, sending her flying up in the air by about six feet, and the crowd yells frenzied, and she comes crashing down. You continue to charge with your axe and bring it slamming down into her armor, getting stuck in it and dealing quite a bit of damage, and she stabs at you, while trying to wrestle the axe out of her armor!
She is quite injured.

Roll me a 1d20+10 to keep in control!
>>
>>692930
Why does dice god give me 20s when I type dumb shit?
>>
Rolled 3 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>692938
Rolling for dominance.
>>
Rolled 12 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>692938
Just in case other anon doesn't roll.
>>
3+10=13
vs
13+8=21

Great Failure!

She wrestles the axe away from you... And snaps the handle. It's clear she's angry, and while your distracted, she rushes to stab you in the chest, right in one of your scars... Ow. (-300 HP). She then slams you with her blade's pommel and knocks you back... (-100 HP) And she seems to reach down for the shortened axe, and... Tosses it at you.

Roll me a 1d20-6 to dodge. And welcome to having low agility.
>>
Rolled 11 - 6 (1d20 - 6)

>>692948
Wew.
Bring the pain.
Curse low agility.
>>
11-6=5
vs
17+8=25

Amazing Failure!

You attempt to dodge, but the axe is too fast and lodges itself in your shoulder, and you pull it out. You can't feel pain, and you assume that's a very, very good thing right now, as the injury seems deep. (-500 HP).

Current HP: 900

Your axe is shortened and has a -1 to attack!

Right now, it seems your losing while she seems to be winning... But you notice she has a slight limp, and you go to capitalize on that!

Roll me a 1d20+9 to capitalize on wounds!
>>
Rolled 3 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>692964
Rolling for tactical advantage.
>>
Wow. RNG Jesus hates you.

3+9=12
vs
4+8=12

Stalemate!

Roll me a 1d20, and only first one is accepted.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>692976
I'm sure he doesn't.
He just loves entertainment.
>>
...Well, it seems he also likes entertaining anons.

19
vs
20

Going to be nice and say that since you were close, you don't take as much damage as you would from a critical!

You lunge towards her, but she swoops under and stabs you straight through the chest with her sword. She pulls it out cleanly as you stutter slightly... Fucking... Ow. (-500 HP)

Current HP: 400

You of course have major difficulty standing, and she of course, waits patiently.

"...So, you surrendering or want this to be to the death?"

Actions.

>...I'll... Just... Surrender. Yeah...
>...Underhanded tactics go... Shapeshift into your dragonblood form. It'll give you some HP, but she'll notice for sure...
>...Can you get a bit closer? Do I still have my nose?
>One final charge!
>I'll never surrender!
>...Fuck... You know what? You'll actually pray to God to see if he'll help you out.
>Write-In
>>
>>692994
>One final charge!
May the weabshit shonen power flow through us.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+9 for a final charge!
>>
Rolled 18 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>693001
This is probably gonna fail.
>>
18+9=27
vs
13+8=21

Great Success!

You regain your stance and punch her in the face before coming down with your axe to her arm, which connects. She yells in pain and shoves you slightly back, and rams up against you, but this only lets you trip her into the ground, and you give a good kick to her limping leg, and you hear her yell in pain. She however isn't giving up, and rolls over to your leg to stab it!

Roll me a 1d20+9 for defense!
>>
Rolled 12 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>693007
We st least got one good attack in.
>>
12+9=21
vs
19+8=27

Great Failure!

She stabs you in the leg, and you fall to the ground... You notice that you feel like your luck is fading... Raghnild gets up, victorious... If you chose to make this a battle to the death for you at least, a sneak attack is viable... Though you feel like a regular attack wouldn't go to that... But still, getting something severed isn't very good...

HP left: 100 (If you go below -1000, this is death. Going below 0 essentially means any damage taken is permanent.)

Actions

>...Sneak attack is a go!
>Shout loudly that you aren't out of the fight!
>...Just uh... Try to get up and ask for someone to help carry you.
>...I surrender, just help me up, alright?
>...Shapeshift? It's a good source of health...
>Write-in
>>
>>693022
>Taking permanent damage
Sounds dumb for something like this.

>I give. Good fight.

How much HP did she even have left?
>>
>>693027
About 900 HP.

"Right... I give. Good fight."

She nods her head and helps you up to your feet.

"Go drink something then, warrior. And maybe see a priest.. But good fight. I wasn't expecting you to send me a few feet up into the air... And I haven't been that close to losing a battle for a while."

She thanks you for the battle and heads back into the meadhall, and a guard hands you a drink which you down.

Actions

Current Money: 2,000$

>...You'll go home and recover from your injuries. Yeah... You need to get cozy and comfortable. Besides, maybe your wives will comfort you since you got injured...
>...Maybe you can request to stay with Raghnild's meadhall for a bit? You need somewhere to rest...
>Maybe you can buy some healing salves? (Cost: 1,000. Will speed your recovery from three days to about a day.)
>Leave the town and just find somewhere to sleep for a bit as a dragon... It should help healing if you stretch out a little.
>...Flames, Fenrir... You aren't going to shit talk me about losing to a girl, will you?
>Write-In
>>
>>693036
>Flames, Fenrir... You aren't going to talk shit right?
>Get some healing salve
>Stay at the meadhall

They cannot call us weak shit.
>>
Flames, Fenrir... You aren't going to talk shit, right?

...Coming from the guy who lost to a girl?

Yeah... You keep losing against these mortals man. Like the White Death.

Fucking...

Careful about fighting a girl... You might just lose.

You sigh and head to the market to purchase some salve. The man who sells it to you advocates you get some bedrest, so you return to the meadhall and find that Ragnhild gave you a room until you fight her. She's also given you some complimentary mead for your fight, as you relax on the bed and chug it down... And then you go to apply your healing salve.

Actions

>...You'll just doze off until tommorow. By then you should be healed up. (Timeskip.)
>Maybe you can tell a servant you want to talk to Ragnhild? It's the least she can do for you.
>...You are going to take this time to talk shit about Flames and Fenrir since they're being assholes.
>...Khorne? Can I talk to you? I'm sort of bedridden and bored.
>Write-In
>>
>>693046
>So flames since you want to talk shit so much we can go have you got fight Chrysoula after we're done here.
>And flames don't joke about the white death.
>Let's talk to Ragnhild
Are we talking about the legit white death sniper?

Anyways I gotta sleep.
>>
So, Flames... Since you want to talk shit so much we can go have you fight Chrsyuola after we're done here. And don't joke about the White Death, that guy is the reason I don't have my left eye.

...It's still funny.

Right... Well, let's talk to Ragnhild first.

But seriously? I'm not going to fight my wife.

Actions.

>...Oh, don't worry. I'll call her enough annoying nicknames she will.
>I'll just call her a cow and switch with you so I can laugh.
>It's a joke... Don't worry about it.
>You're probably regretting making her bigger and stronger, aren't you?
>Remind me to give her Muslek Blood so she'll kick your fat ass.
>...Remind me to make her even bigger and deadlier so when you get beat up by her that I can laugh harder.
>Write-In

>>693051
Oh yeah. He sniped Ren's left eye and actually killed him. Anons got really lucky and survived and he's sort of working for you, but he's not really important.
He's literally the only guy Ren's pretty fucking afraid of.
>>
>>693054
>Why scared you'll get beat down?
>If you are scared of fighting Chrysoula don't talk shit about the white death. Fucking snipers.
>>
>>693054
So anyway is that interesting to know.

I just found the thread where Ren got fucked up.

Lot's of salt.

G'night.
>>
Why, are you scared you'll get beat down?

No! She's my wife! I'd never fight her!

Right, if you're scared of fighting Chrysoula, don't talk shit about the White Death! Fucking snipers...

Chrysoula isn't a sniper! And I'm not afraid to fight her!

Then do it!

No, she's my wife, damn it! Besides, this is coming from the guy who can't even win against a girl in melee...

Actions.

>You're a pussy then. I dare you to fight her.
>Oh, you'll pay for that. She'll be stronger and faster then the last time you saw her...
>...Did I mention how she kissed me earlier? I mean, it's clear she loves me now, instead of you...
>Fine, how about you fight Chrysoula, and I go up against the White Death a second time?
>...Shut up, let's talk to the girl who beat me then...
>Write-In
>>
>>693079
>...Shut up, let's talk to the girl who beat me then...
>>
Shut up you two... I'm talking to this Ragnhild.
You can practically hear the laughter as you go back to reality.
Thanks guys, really. Thank you.

You see Ragnhild open up the door and walk inside to your chamberroom.

"Erh, hello."

"What do you want? If your complaining about anything just tell a thrall. I have duties to attend to."
Actions

>...I see. Sorry for wasting your time then.
>...Want to tumble with me?
>So uh... I'm sort of curious on how a woman took power.
>...Can we talk, if that's not an issue?
>So... Worshipping Kharn much? I heard he's pretty cool...
>Just curious, have you heard of the southern gods?
>...Would you care if I see your claws? I'd like to see why the Dark Gods have been holding out on me...
>...So... You know I am a legitimate dragon, right?
>Have you summoned any Daemons or anything? Spirits?
>...Could you send a message for me?
>How would you like to be my third (although sort of fourth, thanks to Chrysoula...) wife once we're done here?
>...Have you ever been tumbled? I'm curious.
>So, I heard you were a shield maiden, but you never really fought with Chaos... Why?
>Write-In
>>
>>693299
>So I sort of curious on how a woman took power.
>Have you ever tumbled before I'm curious.
>>
"So, I'm sort of curious on how a woman took power here..."

"Well, that's easy. Our chief left to join Archaon and all that came back was his severed head as a "gift" from the Graelings."

"...I see."

"What they didn't know however, was that us Bjornling's train our women to be warriors... And so we crushed their few male warriors and essentially took the rest of the females back."

"Right, right."

"Next thing I knew, I was Chieftess, and the Skraelings were coming back soon... So we also disposed of them."

"I see, so you attacked while their men were away?"

"Of course we did. It's a little underhanded, but otherwise smart."

"Right, right..."

"Also I killed anyone who challenged my power, that was a good one."

"So uh, have you ever tumbled before?"

"I'm a Shield-Maiden of Kharn. There's more important things to do then sit around and honor the "god of fertility", such as polish weapons, stab said followers of the god, who's name is currently lost on me now..."

"So never?"

"No, I am too busy to even consider bearing children."

Actions.

>Well, that's a shame.
>Oh, don't worry. You'll get introduced to it one way or the other.
>...You don't like the god of fertility? You mean Slaanesh?
>For a... Well, Khornate, you are more tactical, aren't you?
>...Why did you offer a weapon from your personal armory?
>Erh, how old are you?
>How does one become a "shield maiden?"
>...You can polish my weapon any time.
>Do any other tribes resent you for this?
>...So are Norscan tribes usually this big? And walled settlements?
>Write-In
>>
>>693325
>For a khornate your pretty tactical aren't you?
>Do any other tribes resent you for this?

I assume our strength is still lowered from the god curse. We are going to have to exercise again aren't we?
>>
Well, yes.

"For a Khornate, you're pretty tactical aren't you?"

"I suppose? The Skraelings are infamous for their rages, and worship "Khorne", which is similar to Kharn. If you're a man who can't hold his drink and think, that is."

"So they're two different deities?"

"Skraelings equal crazy bastards with a penchant for taking heads. Ours, not so much. Just win and you're good."

"Right. So do any other tribes resent you for this?"

She laughs mightily, and takes off her helmet, revealing... Long blond hair? And blue eyes? Huh. She still has a Khornate symbol by one of her eyes, and you note that her fingers do seem a bit... Long. And sharp.

"Oh yeah. We've practically pissed off every tribe east of us, but they can't do shit against us since winter's settled in and they haven't gotten their men back from the war... If they ever will, that is."

"Did your men and chief come back?"

"From what I hear, no."

"...Just curious, I thought you had darker hair earlier? And a different eye color?"

"That's a body double. I mostly spend my time ruling... She's not a very good body double, and I was honestly surprised she won against you. She's in recovery now, I believe."

Actions.

>Right, right... If you want to ever practice tumbling, just ask me.
>If you want, I can help you take care of them.
>I think your confused... Kharnates are the same as Khornates. There's just a language difference.
>So... Have you gone on any raids recently?
>Is that tradition true? You know, where if I defeat a shield-maiden they'll tumble with me?
>So... Could I see your claws? I heard about them from a man.
>I must profess that you are rather beautiful...
>So, how injured are you?
>...What's the body-double's name?
>Goddamn it, so I fought her for nothing?
>...If you pardon me, but I'd like to see her.
>Erh, how injured is she?
>So not only did I fight common rabble, but I fought common rabble and LOST?
>Write-In
>>
I'll be back in a hour anons.
>>
>>693334
>Well there is still the promise of a fight in my dragon form

>Also kharnates are khornates. That's just a language difference.
>>
"Well, there is the promise of a fight in my dragon form."

"I remember. I hope you don't mind having a spear shoved up your ass."

"...Right, thanks for the mental imagery. I will however point out that Kharnates are indeed, Khornates. There's just a language difference."

"To you, maybe. Anyways, get better so I can kick your ass, shove a spear up it, and I'll make sure to give you a proper funeral."

Actions.

>I promise the same in exchange. Though the "up the ass" part isn't exactly the same.
>You greatly honor me then. Thank you.
>How exactly are you going to do a funeral service for a sixty-four story dragon?
>I love you too.
>Right, right... So I'm fighting you instead of your body double, right?
>What, no kiss to make me feel better?
>Could you send a message for me?
>You should get going... You probably have important things to do.
>Would you mind if I mentioned you are rather good looking?
>Write-In
>>
File: Spoiler Image (31 KB, 400x284)
31 KB
31 KB JPG
>>693381
>Beating. In my draconic form..
>Laughing

>Now where is this body double?


She's funny at least
>>
You laugh slightly, which unnerves her slightly due to your rather daemonic laugh.

"Beating me... In my dragon form? Oh, that's a good laugh... You mortals are entertaining at times. Besides, where is this body double?"

"She might of beat you but she requires some rest... Which means it's me up against you."

"I see."

"In case your wondering, she wishes you well in the next battle against me... I'm rather entertained to beat you. And if you do die on accident, I'll make sure to give your head a particularity imposing spot in my collection."

"Ha, as if it would stay."

"Anyways, let us agree to fight honorably and fairly, in either case."

"Rules?"

"Mostly just don't attack when a enemy has fallen on the ground or if they are unable to fight back. Anything is legal up to that."

Actions.

>I agree.
>...I agree, but do not worry, I will not harm you too badly.
>...So, how do you like the spear up the ass? Sudden or slowly?
>You mortals are entertaining with these concepts of winning...
>May the best dragon win. Which is me.
>Hey, if you do win I bet Khorne has a gift for you.
>I refuse. Mostly because I'll be rolling around so much.
>I think in the interest of being a fair and honorable dragon, I'll simply use my half-dragon form... I'd hate to crush you.
>Write-In
>>
>>693392
>I think in the interest of being fair I'll use my half dragon form. So I don't crush you.
>I also won't use my acid blood.
>See you tomorrow. You better get ready to tumble.
>>
"I think in the interest of being fair, I'll use my half dragon form... Just so I don't crush you. I also won't use my acidic blood."

"Right. Then I won't use any of my enchanted weaponry against you... I won't need it."

"I'll see you tomorrow. You better get ready to tumble..."

She laughs slightly.
"I see. Well, I better get going. Sleep well, I suppose."

Actions.

>Good night then.
>I hope you aren't too injured when we finish combat... You'll need the strength.
>I wish you luck... You'll need it.
>I hope I don't hurt you too bad. Your beauty would darken this world if it was damaged.
>If you need me, I'll be praying.
>Write-In
>>
>>693401
>I hope you aren't too injured in the battle. You'll need the strength.
>Good night then.
>>
"I hope you aren't too injured in the battle. You'll need the strength. Good night though."

She laughs and leaves, and not too long after you fall asleep...

You eventually wake up and get out of bed, adorning your fur armor you received and you pick up a new axe from the armory...

You exit the meadhall and see Ragnhild apparently practicing with a spear and a shield... Both are rather high quality and she nods towards you...

Actions.

>...Maybe some pre-battle banter with her?
>...Well, you have a thousand gold... Maybe you should put some bets down on you or her.
>You're ready for battle. And to get laid, of course.
>Khorne... Could you give me a blessing?
>...What happens if you used that Muslek Cream? It's a slight cheat...
>Write-In
>>
>>693411
>You're ready for battle and to get laid of course.
>>
You shapeshift into your half-dragon form, slightly surprising her. A small crowd gathers around you, and the two of you begin to circle... You have the advantage of length due to your large size, but you are very slow, while she seems to be strong, fast and able to penetrate your scales with her spear...

The battle begins... Roll me a 1d20+11 for who attacks first.
>>
Rolled 4 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>693418
>Prayer intensifies.
>>
4+11=15
vs
8+10=18

Failure!

You stay on the defensive, but she rushes towards you, rolling and stabbing you in your knee, and she kneels and narrowly avoids your axe coming down to her side... (-350 HP)

She skitters out of distance, and starts running around you...

Roll me a 1d20-6 to see if you can react in time!
>>
Rolled 15 - 6 (1d20 - 6)

>>693422
Great start.
Real great start.
>>
15-6=9
vs
5+9=14

Failure!

She runs around you, and your too slow to actually defend against her stabbing you in your back, and she does so, hurting you quite a bit. (-600 HP). However you swing your axe over her head, and she backs away, tired and panting...

Current HP: 17,050
Max: 18,000

You are lightly injured, and she is uninjured..

Actions.

>Charge her! She's tired!
>Move forward until she's in range, and swing!
>..Toss your axe at her!
>Taunt her as a coward!
>Go on the defensive so she can't circle around you as well!
>...Breathe some fire to distract her!
>Slow her down with some frost breath!
>Write-In
>>
>>693431
>Slow her down with frost breath.
Let's exacerbate her exhaustion with cold.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+11 for how strong your frost breath is.
>>
Rolled 1 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>693434
Rolling to see how cool she is.
>>
Rolled 6 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>693434
>>
Use barbaric anons?

>Yes.
>No.
>>
>>693442
>Yes
Barbarian Ice.
Can I just say I love barbaric?
>>
Reroll me to unleash your inner Khornate..

Roll me a 1d20+11 (Since it's a strength test, you get the bonus to it.). Additional +2 if you can yell something barbaric and ice-related.
>>
Rolled 19 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>693449
Bad puns are go.
>IT ICE TO MAKE YOUR BED ROCK
>>
Jesus Christ.

19+13=32
vs
3+10=13

Ultra-Success!

"IT'S... ICE TO MAKE YOUR BED ROCK!" She lowers her shield, somewhat confused... And you breathe a mighty blow of ice against her shield, freezing it solid and sticking her hand against it... And slowing her down a little... Not to mention confusing her. You rush forward with your axe, and bring it down on her shield, shattering it into pieces, and you bring it down into her frost-bitten armor, going through it like paper. She yells and lunges at you, and you pull your axe out.

It seems both of you are equal in injuries, but hers seems to be slightly worse...

She's still panting, tired...

Roll me a 1d20+11 for exploiting her weakness!
>>
Rolled 3 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>693459
>>
Rolled 2 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>693459
Rolling to take advantage of the situations.

I notice I do better when Ren yells something retarded.
>>
3+11=14
vs
14+10=24

Great Failure!

You charge forward, and she seems to regain her strength, and braces for your charge... Which goes terribly, and you get stabbed through a plate on your chest, (-200) luckily lowering the damage you'd take. She pulls out and ducks below your legs...
Shit. She's going behind you!

Roll me a 1d20-7 to see if you can react in time!
>>
Rolled 19 - 7 (1d20 - 7)

>>693476
We can't afford to lose.
>>
19-7=12
vs
13+10=23

Great Success!

She goes behind you, stabbing you above your reptilian tail and backing away as you turn around... It trickles some blood as she prepares for another attack. (-550 HP)

Current HP: 15,300

Roll me a 1d20+11...
>>
Rolled 13 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>693483
>>
>>693483
Fuck, not a great success.
I'm autistic, sorry anons.
>>
Rolled 7 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>693483
>>
13+11=24
vs
1+10=11

You slap her in the face with your tail, knocking her aside, and you bring your axe down onto her already exposed shoulder, and she yells in pain... And then you trip her using your tail. How handy!

It seems the breath has been knocked out of her, and your tail is wrapped around her. How convenient. She's trying to get her breath back, but it seems to be rather hard...

Roll me a 1d20+13 to take advantage of this... Additional+2 if you can think of a tail-related pun.
>>
Rolled 16 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>693490
Wanna hear the tale of the girl trapped in a dragons tail?
>>
16+15=31
vs
5+10=15

Amazing Success!

"Hey, want to hear of the tale of a girl trapped in a dragon's tail?"

You begin squeezing slightly, capitalizing on her lack of breath. She begins to try and get out, but you carefully aim your axe in case she does get out...

Roll me a 1d20+10 to see if she can get out or not. Still giving a +2 for tail related puns.
>>
Rolled 9 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>693499
I'll spare you the de-tails the end is the most interesting part
>>
Rolled 17 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>693499
Supporting this. >>693501
>>
17+12=29
vs
13+10=23

Great Success!

"Oh, don't worry. I'll spare you all the de-tails... But the end is the most interesting part."

She begins to choke, and after a few minutes of suffocating her, you feel like you only need one more minutes..
.
The final stretch anons! Roll me a 1d20+10, and still an additional +2 for tail puns!
I believe in you anons!
>>
Rolled 13 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>693509
Head or Tail? i think it's obvious which one is winning right now.
>>
Rolled 11 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>693509
BLACKED
>>
Rolled 7 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>693509
But really that's a tail for another time.
Goodnight.
>>
13+12=25
vs
16+10=26

Borderline Failure!

"So, Head or Tail? It think it's obivous which one is winning right now... But anyways, that story I was telling about... Well, it'll be a tail for another time."

You laugh a little at your own pun, and feel her somewhat get out of your tail, and she takes a large breath... But she's still rather exposed.

Actions

>Go back to strangling her with your tail!
>Hit her with your axe!
>...Be a gentlemen and help her up!
>Let her breathe a little...
>Taunt her for being caught in such a trap!
>Write-In
>>
>>693526
>...Be a gentlemen and help her up!
>>
>>693526
>Be a gentleman and help her up
>Then go back to strangling her with our tail.

Can we engage ice Aura?
If so do it when we start choking her again.
>>
>>693532
This.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+8 to see if she falls for you being a gentlemen and not notice your about to strangle her. Additional +2 for puns.
>>
Rolled 5 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>693539
>>
Rolled 1 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>693539
let's have a cocktail
>>
Rolled 16 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>693539
Well it was pun spinning that wonderful tail.
Now let us continue.
>>693550
Damn
>>
"Come on babe... Let's have a cocktail. It's pun spinning these wonderful tails..."

Critical Failure!

She bites your tail, which hurts like a motherfucker and sprays blood onto the snow. Fucking ow! (-350 HP), and she grabs her spear, knocking you down. The crowd cheers wildly as she scrambles away... Your tail is also bleeding rather heavily, and it seems she's recovered completely.

Actions.

>...Use Necrotic Healing on your tail! It did good! (Necromancy)
>Charge!
>Use a spell!
>...Hold back. Wait for her to attack!
>...That's it... What does Chrysoula does? Bullrush? Hell yeah! You have someset of horns, right?
>Tail, make me proud and trip her!
>Breathe fire at her to deal damage or distract her!
>...Ice aura!
>Ice breath!
>That's it... Your going into a rage. Take off your eyepatch.
>Write-In
>>
>>693588
>Engage ice aura
>Use necrotic healing on our tail
No need for bleeding damage.
>>
You engage your frost aura and slightly heal with your Necromancy, mending the skin and preventing bleeding... And you feel Ragnhild charge towards you, entering your frost aura!

Roll me a 1d20+10 for defense!
>>
Rolled 14 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>693613
She needs to chill out
>>
Rolled 5 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>693613
>>
Rolled 10 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>693613
>>
14+10=24
vs
12+10=22

Minor Success!

You feel her slow down considerably, and you turn to her...

Actions

>Counter attack!
>More Ice! Breathe frost into her!
>...Your tail is healed... Try to subtly move it to strangle her!
>Try to disarm? (Very Hard!)
>Warm her up a little... Breathe fire!
>Try to grab her! (Hard!)
>...Shock factor? Kiss her?
>Write In
>>
>>693630
>...Shock factor? Kiss her?
>>
>>693630
>Kiss her.
Because why the fuck not.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 for shock factor!
>>
Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>693639
Rollan
>>
Rolled 3 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>693639
>>
16+6=22

Good Success!

You kiss her on her helmet, and you can tell she's confused. She's fluctuating between "confused as fuck" and "WHAT THE FUCK!?" anger.

Not to mention the crowd seems to be confused.

Actions.

>...Headbutt her. (Strength)
>Well, try to charm her! (Charisma, HARD)
>Tail... Strangle. (Agility)
>Try to escalate this? Take off her helmet slowly? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>...Get closer... And breathe ice into her helmet! Ha!
>Pheromones?
>Write-In
>>
>>693667
>Try to charm her!
We already knew deep.
Might as well wade through.
>>
>>693673
>Knew
Knee damnit.
We will romance the shit out of her.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6. Additional +2 if you can tell her, or do something romantic?
>>
Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>693676
>Not even the most finely crafted sword could match your beauty.

Hoping this is sufficiently romantic.
>>
Anons, shit. I just came back and I'm redoing what I did above. I accidently posted my rough draft.
>>
6+8=14

"As you may know... Not even the most finely crafted sword could match your beauty..."

A few seconds go by...

Failure!

She holds back for a brief moment... And then headbutts you on the nose, and you reel back in surprise, tripping you onto the ground. (-100 HP)

"Fuck right off. I know what your trying to do... AND IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!" She yells,

She runs towards you with her spear, aiming towards your chest.

Actions.

>...Try to trip her!
>Get up as fast as possible!
>Breathe ice!
>Toss your axe at her!
>Keep trying to be romantic and get up! (Charisma, HARD)
>Try to be romantic... And try to trip her into you! (Charisma, HARD)
>...Burrow!
>Write-In
>>
Anons?
>>
>>693713
>...Burrow!
>>
You quickly burrow under the ground, confusing Ragnhild. You can hear her clearly.

"Damned coward... Come back and fight like a man!"

Actions

>...Maybe you should start healing yourself. Necrotic healing, anyone? (Necromancy)
>...Maybe you can pull her underground? (Strength)
>...Burrow behind her and emerge...
>Come out where you were! You'll fight like a man!
>Write-In
>>
>>693744
>...Maybe you can pull her underground? (Strength)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10 anons
>>
Rolled 5 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>693790
My math professor cancelled today, so I have three and a half hours of free time.
>>
Rolled 13 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>693790
>>
Rolled 5 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>693790
>>
>>693799
Rip math professor.

13+10=23

Success!

You grab her by her legs, and drag her underground. She kicks you and stabs at you wildly, putting up quite a bit of a fight...

Roll me a 1d20+10 to see if you can hold her!
>>
Rolled 13 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>693821
>>
Rolled 15 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>693821
>>
15+10=25
vs
8+9=17

Good Success!

You drag her underground, suffering light wounds (-200 HP), and she seems to be frantically stabbing and missing constantly, unused to the sudden shift from being aboveground to under the dirt...

"I'LL TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF!" She yells.

Actions.

>...Underground kissing? Oh yeah. (Charisma, HARD)
>Strangle! (Strength)
>...Try to disarm her! (Agility)
>Give her the old one two... As in beat her up! (Strength)
>Try to grab her spear! (Agility)
>Breathe ice!
>Ice Aura! (Free Action)
>Throw her OUT of the hole! (Strength, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>693844
>...Underground kissing? Oh yeah. (Charisma, HARD)
Why not?
>>
Waiting twenty minutes anons.
>>
>>693844
Never mind, realised that wouldn't work.

>Throw her OUT of the hole! (Strength, HARD)
>>
>>693855
Switching to this.
>>
>>693872
Switching again to this.
>>
>>693873
Dammit man I just changed my vote!

Fine we will go with my, now deleted, post which was;

"Time to give a gravoid impression!

If you haven't seen that film series, let's go dune's sand-worms."
>>
>>693884
Switching a third time to this.
>>
>>693879
God dammit man, stop changing so frequently, I can't keep up!
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5

Also, sort of confused. You're collapsing the surface behind you with her in your grip? Or just letting her go back to the surface and scaring her?
>>
>>693891
Letting her go back to the surface. We can then do some fun stuff and some lewd creative tactics to her.
>>
>>693900
Noice dubs

I mention a viking queen and now anons want to tumble her. Got it, whenever I need anons to go somewhere to do something I'll just happen to note there's a female member of nobility/in control somewhere.
Thanks.

Oh, and this lack of rolling is making me sad.
>>
>>693912
Hey, I am not that easily guided. I mostly came here cause I thought we might be able to buy some slaves, for our refinery town.
>>
>>693926
I know, I'm just poking fun at anons.
And pls roll.
>>
Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>693891
>>693930
I know.
>>
18+5=23

Good Success!

You let her out of her grip and let her climb out, while you begin tunneling away, collapsing it behind you. After a little bit you hear her reach the surface again, a little shaken up, and she seems to be randomly stabbing the ground... Probably to make sure you don't grab her again.

Actions

>...Burrow behind her and emerge up! (Agility)
>Burrow deeper and shapeshift!
>Emerge in front of her!
>Try to pull her down again! (Strength, HARD)
>...Wait for her to stab the ground, where you are, and try to nom the head of the spear! (Insight, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>
>>693949
>...Wait for her to stab the ground, where you are, and try to nom the head of the spear! (Insight, HARD)
An insight roll? Interesting.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>694009
>>
Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>694009
Opening the third eye.
>>
>>694009
Also, because I haven't seen it in a while. Do we still have pheromones?
>>
Rolled 6 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>694009
>>
>>694021
Yes. It was an option earlier.
>>
>>693912
Note:
I am that easily guided.
As long as they're interesting on off.
>>
13+3=16
vs
9+2=12

Good Success!

You nom her spear when it enters the earth beside you, and you swallow. Tasty!

"You bastard! You ate my spear! Get me a axe or something, damn it!"

You hear something get tossed on the field of battle, and she rushes for it...

"Get up from the ground you bastard! I know eunuchs with more balls then you!"

Actions.

>Fine then. You'll emerge.
>...Shapeshift?
>Rush for the weapon on the field! (Agility, HARD)
>Emerge then. You're a man, aren't you?
>Try to grab her by the leg and bring her underground again! (Agility, HARD)
>Just wait, patiently.
>Write-In
>>
>>694053
>Emerge then.
>Demonic laughter while we do it. For intimidation.
>>
>>694064
This.
>>
You emerge with some daemonic laughter... And see she's charging you with another two-handed axe, screaming her lungs off!

Roll me a 1d20+10 for defense!
>>
Rolled 2 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>694074
>>
Rolled 14 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>694074
>>
Rolled 14 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>694074
>>
Rolled 6 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>694074
Nah lady.
>>
14+10=24
vs
16+8=24

Stalemate!

The two of your weapons collide into a deadlock, with you being on the defensive...
She's practically fuming rage and determination, and seems to be somewhat wounded...

Actions

>Distract her with a kiss! (Charisma, Hard)
>Knee her! (Strength, Very Hard (It's a girl after all!)
>Breathe something! (Acid, Fire, Frost)
>Trip her with your tail! (Strength, Hard!)
>Try to win the deadlock! (Strength, Opposed)
>Write In
>>
>>694117
>Try to win the deadlock! (Strength, Opposed)
>>
>>694119
Second
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10
>>
I'll be back in an hour anons.
>>
Rolled 17 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>694131
>>
Rolled 17 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>694131
>>
17+10=27
Vs
16+7=23

Great Success!

You dodge and bring your axe straight into her side, but... She seems to completely ignored it! She instead continues charging at you, until you notice she's timed a blow straight for your back!

Roll me a 1d20-6 to dodge!
>>
Rolled 1 - 6 (1d20 - 6)

>>694153
>>
Rolled 14 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>694153
>>
Rolled 19 - 6 (1d20 - 6)

>>694153
>>
Critical Failure!

You dodge INTO the axe, and suffer a MASSIVE blow to your face. Your right eye has a scar now, and you've been knocked down! (-1000 HP)
Raghilda seems to prepare to attack you again once your on the ground, and you struggle to get out of the way!

Roll me a 1d20-6 to see if you can dodge!
>>
Rolled 3 - 6 (1d20 - 6)

>>694287
Welcome darkness my old friend
>>
Rolled 12 - 6 (1d20 - 6)

>>694287
>>
3-6=-3
vs
15+7=22

Great Failure!

Her axe is imbedded into you, and since you don't feel pain, you don't feel it hurt your spleen at all. She begins to pull it out however, and it seems stuck... Giving you an opportunity.
(-1000 HP)

Current HP: 12,500

Your tail creeps up behind her leg as she tries to take it out... When you hear Flames talk.

Hey uh, Ren? Did our tail used to do this?

What?

You know, act on it's own? Be prehensile?

...No?

...I bet the Elves did this. But it's cool because our tail can do shit!

Roll me a 1d20+10 for tripping!
And yes... Additional +2 for puns.
>>
Rolled 8 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>694321
We should wrap this up.
I have an appointment with my tail-or.
>>
8+12=20
vs
2+8=10

Great Success!

"Come on, we should wrap this up... I have an appointment with my TAIL-OR!"

You pull on your tail, and she loses the grip on her two-handed axe... And is knocked to the ground. She seems quite injured, compared to you... And she begins to scramble away, until your tail wraps around her legs and pulls her towards you... You also take out her axe and toss it to the side...
The Norscans seem to cheer her on...

Both of you seem quite injured.

Actions.

>Take her axe and hit her with it! (Strength)
>Tail, begin strangulation! (Strength)
>...Attempt to eat her axe in front of her? (Strength)
>Ice Aura, so she'll have a harder time trying to escape!
>...Why don't we call it a draw?
>You know, you feel nice. Let her go.
>...Whether she likes it or not, you're giving her a kiss. (Charisma, HARD)
>Try to grab her and lift her up! (Strength, HARD)
>...Try to get a little acid in her wounds. This will greatly exaggerate the effect.
>Write-In
>>
>>694351
>Ice Aura
Then begin strangulation if we can.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10 for strangulation.
>>
Rolled 15 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>694384
>>
Rolled 3 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>694384
Continuing strangulation.
>>
15+10=25
vs
4+8=12
Great Success!

Your tail begins strangulation while she desperately tries to get out... Your ice aura slows her down, however...

"Let... Go!"

"No. I think I'm good."

Roll me a 1d20+11 to continue strangulation.
>>
Rolled 9 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>694393
>I must say you look beautiful in this lighting.
Troll harder.
>>
9+11=20
vs
11+8=19

Borderline Success!

"I must say... You look beautiful in this lighting..."

She breaks it briefly, being able to get a breath. Damn it.... You squeeze your tail harder around her to prevent this happening again, and you carefully get closer to her...

Roll me a 1d20+10 to continue strangling. Additional +2 if you say anything that might make her want to respond.
>>
Rolled 4 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>694413
>With how badly this is going for you it's almost like you want to lose. If you wanted to tumble me that badly you could have just said so.
>>
4+12=16
vs
16+8=24

"You know, for how badly this is going for you it's almost like you want to lose. If you want to tumble me that badly you could of jut said so."

She begins to pull on your tail... And you of course come closer... And she headbutts you, releasing your tail and she takes long, drawn out breaths on the ground... (-300 HP)
You also must admit your getting tired... As you have quite a bit of a headache... And it seems the two of you are unarmed.

"You want me to tumble with you? As if! You're barely a man! Why don't you go back to the kitchen and get me some mead then!" The crowd laughs at her comment, and you can't help but feel annoyed at it...

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if you'll take the bait or not. Additional +2 if you can reply with a insult of your own.
>>
Rolled 15 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>694413
"So question, do you have any slaves I can have? Or could you just give me some money to buy some with?"
>>
Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>694455
>I'm sorry puny mortal but the only cooking I do is burning weak shits like you.
>>
15+4=19
vs
12+5=16

Good Success!

"I'm sorry you puny mortal, but the only cooking I do is burning weak shits like you."

She grunts, annoyed... And the two of you go to pick up your respective weapons.

"If it makes you feel better, I bet the local slaves are looking for a new friend."

"Speaking of... Could I have some? Or could you give me money to buy some with?"

"Ha! You wish..."

She spits some blood onto the snow as the two of you circle, both of you quite injured...

Actions.

>Why don't we parley for a little bit? Call it halftime? I need a drink...
>...Try to hit on her so she'll attack you. It seems to get under her skin.
>You know, once this is over and you inevitably lose, you'll be my slave. Did I mention that?
>Charge her!
>Stay defensive...
>Breath attack!
>Burrow!
>...Cast a spell?
>Summon Smaug! (Summoning)
>I bet you Khorne favors me more then you!
>Write-In
>>
>>694488
>Hit on her. It seems to get under her skin.
Tsundere Viking when?
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6, additional +2 if you can appeal to her khornate sensibilities.
>>
Rolled 18 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>694503
>Why are you so angry with me. Think of all the thing we can do together. Pillaging. Raiding. And all that other cool stuff. You know you'd love that
>>
18+8=26

"Why are you so angry at me? Why don't you think a little on all the things we can do together? Pillaging... Raiding... And all that other cool stuff... Did I mention enslaving? You know, you'd love that..."

She pauses briefly, thinking on it underneath her helmet, but she continues on moving in a circle around you...

"Sounds nice, but I have a duty. And I don't know about you, but having a battle to win and sing songs about is my mug of mead..."

You note she's slowly getting closer while your talking... Probably to do a surprise attack.

Actions

>Continue to hit on her.
>Very well... Charge her!
>...Did I mention I could make you similar to me?
>Remain defensive!
>Take this opportunity to get a little closer...
>...Pretend to "trip", but set it up where your tail will be able to grab her again!
>Write-In
>>
>>694544
>Did I mention I can make you similar to me?
More dragons
We always need more dragons
>>
"...Did I mention I can make you similar to me?"

She seems to get a little closer... And within strangulation distance.

"...I doubt it, such magic doesn't exist..." She seems to be eyeing you carefully...

Actions.

>Get your tail to strike!
>Charge!
>Remain defensive!
>...You're getting closer. Hit on her.
>What if I told you it does? And you'd be not just a queen... But an empress? (Please select with something else)
>...Breath attack!
>Ice Aura!
>Stop delaying the inevitable and attack already, you damned coward!
>Well... I think you'd have worthy enemies. Such as a minotaur, a vampire, and a dragon...
>Write-In
>>
>>694567
>Remain defensive!
>...You're getting closer. Hit on her.
>What if I told you it does? And you'd be not just a queen... But an empress? (Please select with something else)
>>
"What if I told you it does? And you'd be not just a queen... But an Empress? My Empress?"

"How desperate are you to get laid? Seriously..."

"What?"

"Really cliche lines there... Though I like it..."

She seems to be getting even closer... Huh.

Roll me a 1d20+6 to hit on her. Additional +2 if you can further compliment her Khornate style.
>>
Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>694597
Just think about it.
Flying through the air
Crushing your enemies underfoot
Hearing their screams.
>>
9+8=17

"Just think about it... Flying through the air, crushing your enemies underfoot... Hearing their dying screams?"

"That's... Hm..."

"You see? We can either fight here... Or I can show you my awesome power."

"Of getting your ass kicked?"

Actions.

>...Come on. Name me a nearby tribe and you can fly with me and see me utterly destroy it.
>Shift into full-sized dragon form.
>...Well, let's finish this battle up... I'd like to know who is better.
>...Well... There is an admittance fee... You have to love me, first of all.
>One thing... You must be willing to tumble with me and my wife...
>You have a special move... Carefully maneuver up to her and get your tail to slowly push her towards you... Oh yes...]
>...CHARGE! (Strength)
>...Carefully get closer?
>I knew that would get your blood pumping... Now let me excite you in the number of ways one can kill an enemy...
>Write-In
>>
>>694635
>Come on. Name a nearby tribe and I can fly you there and see me utterly destroy it.
>Start shifting bigger.
>>
>>694645
This.
>>
You start shifting bigger...

"Come on, name a nearby tribe and I can fly you there and see me utterly destroy it."

"...How about the Ungols?"

"Who are they?"

"Norscans with a hell of a lot of horses."

"I see..."

"I'm interested... What did you say your name was?"

"Renexizious."

"I see... So I'm coming with you to see you destroy another tribe, in exchange you tumble me?"

Actions.

>Well, yes.
>Well, I haven't ate anyone in a while... And souls do sound rather tasty. I suppose utter destruction sounds good.
>...Well, by destroy I meant enslave them all.
>More then that... You'd be my third wife (Although fourth counting Chrysoula...)
>...Well, why don't we start right here, right now? You know... With the tumbling?
>Small catch... You have to be willing to leave this place behind. And stay with me.
>Come on, let's finish combat first of all.
>Would you care if I demanded their woman folk and tumbled them? It's a draconic tradition.
>Pheromones!
>Write-in
>>
>>694658
>Well yes basically.
>>
"Well, yes basically."

"I can live with that..."

You shift into your dragon form and she begins to climb onto your back, much to the amazement of the Norscans, and you take off.

She doesn't seem too fazed, however.

"One tumble if you destroy them. Then I head back home... Mostly because I have a tribe to lead."

"What, you don't like my company?"

"I have more important things to do... But I always enjoy the time to fight or destroy someone."

Actions.

>I see. Remain silent and just fly.
>...We're friends now, you know.
>Who said you were going home? You're with me now.
>...Why don't we just start tumbling now? Don't worry, I won't drop you.
>Erh, you don't understand... I plan on marrying you.
>A single tumble sounds nice.
>I suppose you'd be rather fitting as my newest concubine, wouldn't you?
>Laugh heartily... You aren't actually going to burn down the Ungol's village and kill their tribesmen... Your taking her back home NOW!
>Write-in
>>
>>694681
>We're friends now, you know.
It is too late. We're already bonding over destruction.
>>
"Well, we're friends now you know."

"Friends? How?"

"Well, we're going to be bonding over destroying villages. It's fun!"

"...Really?"

You hear a evil laugh come from her.

"Everything alright?"

"Huh? Yeah."

"I thought I heard an evil laugh?"

"Just uh... A minor realization. Nothing too important."

"Right, right..."

HEY, DUDE?

What? Holy shit, Khorne?

YEAH. NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT ABOUT YOUR TAIL?

...Well, I can move it at will now...

OH YEAH. KHORNESMAS IS NEARLY HERE AND I DECIDED TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING. IT LOOKS A LITTLE DIFFERENT THOUGH, JUST SAYING.

How?

WELL, JUST A FEW MARKS OF CHAOS... AND I COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING IN WHITE... SO IT'S SORT OF WHITISH RED. SORRY. OH, AND IT HAS A SHARP POINT ON IT NOW. JUST IN CASE YOU WANT TO DESTROY SOMETHING OR IMPALE SOMEONE WITH IT.

Actions.

>You got this for Khornemas? Thanks! I'll put it to good use!
>You're the best friend a dragon can ask for. Thanks Khorne!
>...So uh, I suppose I owe you something then... Great.
>Just curious... How's the plan to convert Raghilda to chaos?
>Aw, I love you too. In a non-gay sort of way.
>I miss the old days...
>I'm sort of surprised you didn't give me anything terrible...
>Oooh... How penetrating is it?
>...Are you saying my tail is somewhat red and white now?
>...So uh, why don't you join me and the gang? Fenrir, Flames... You?
>I'm sort of busy right now Khorne...
>Write-In
>>
>>694724
>Thanks khorne that's awesome man. I'll make sure to try and grab some souls from the village I'm about to destroy.
>>
>>694731
>Just curious... How's the plan to convert Raghilda to chaos?
This too.
>>
Thanks Khorne, that's pretty cool. I'll make sure to try and grab some souls from the village I'm about to destroy.

RIGHT, RIGHT. OH, BY THE WAY, IF THE TAIL DOES IN FACT KILL ANYONE, IT DOES GIVE THEIR SOUL TO ME... THROUGH IMAPLEMENT OR SQUISHING SOMEONE.

I see. So eating and playing baseball?

I GUESS. JUST HAVE FUN WITH THE NEW TAIL... AND CAN YOU CALL FLAMES A FURRY FOR ME?

Actions.

>No problem man. Any time.
>...So uh, we started calling his wife Horny. You in?
>I won't do that... Even if the salt is delicious.
>Just curious, have you heard that I made Chrysoula bigger and stronger? Pretty cool my man.
>...I can impale people with my tail and play baseball with humans? Ah man, you shouldn't of!
>...So uh, is my tail actively malevolent? Like it seeks to hurt or kill people?
>Come on, Chrysoula kissed me yesterday... Sorry but no.
>...Why don't you tell him that?
>Write-In
>>
>>694751
>...So uh, is my tail actively malevolent? Like it seeks to hurt or kill people?
>We started calling his wife Horny.
>>
>>694751
>So uh. We started to call his wife horny. You in?
>>
So uh, is my tail actively malevolent? Like it seeks to hurt or kill people?

SORT OF. IF YOUR KILLING AND MASSACRING PEOPLE, IT'LL JOIN IN. IF YOU WANT TO TAKE PEOPLE ALIVE IT'LL HELP OUT, THAT SORT OF THING. IT WON'T START CONFLICTS THOUGHT.

I see... So uh, we started to call Flames wife Horny. You in?

...HORNY?

You hear laughter, daemonic laughter on the other side.

HELL YES I'M IN! I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

Anyways... So uh, how's the plan to convert Raghilda to being a Khornate?

WELL, SINCE YOU WANT TO TUMBLE HER I'M PUTTING IT ON HOLD... UNLESS YOU WANT HER TO BECOME A BESERKER.

Actions.

>Erh, thanks. I'd rather not have my viking girlfriend ALSO a beserker.
>Hey uh... Just curious... What soul did you use in my tail?
>Eh, it's cool. You can make her into a Khornate.
>...So uh, just curious... Is there any chance you could make her into a Daemon or something?
>...I got to go, see you.
>...So uh, could I join Chaos again? I miss the mutations. Actually, that's a lie. I just miss having an excuse to eat people.
>...Did I tell you I captured a Tzeentchian daemon back home?
>Write-In
>>
>>694816
>Eh it's cool. You can make her into a khornate.
I feel like It'll only help our cause.
>>
>>694816
>...So uh, just curious... Is there any chance you could make her into a Daemon or something?
>I captured some Tzeentch fucker back home.
>>
Eh, it's cool. feel free to make her into a Khornate.

SWEET. THANKS MAN.

So uh, is there any chance you could make her into a Daemon or something?

SURE, IF SHE IMPRESSES ME ENOUGH OR YOU WANT TO GIVE ME A FUCKTON OF SOULS TO DO SO.

Oh, and jut saying I captured some Tzeentch fucker back home.

HA! I HOPE YOU SHOW THAT BIRD WHO'S BOSS THEN.

You break the mental connection and fly overhead of what seems to be a rather large tribe... There seems to be a rather large iceberg right by the coastline, and it feels freezing... Just your cup of tea.

"So... Any specific way you want to do this?"

"What do you want?"

"Eh, chaos... Destruction, that sort of thing. I don't particularly care how."

Actions.

>Right... You won't mind if I enslave a few, right?
>Don't worry, in a few minutes there'll be zero trace they ever existed.
>...So uh, Blood for the Blood God?
>...Well, I am a little hungry...
>Do you think there's oil beneath the settlement?
>...Hold on, I'm going to eat that iceberg... Maybe it might make my natural frost breath a little bit more... Effective?
>Just saying that if you want me to raze any more villages... It'll be another tumble each.
>So uh, why don't we traumatize them first? Besides, I'd like to cash in on some tumbling.
>...Well, I just feel like taking it nice and easy... As in setting it on fire.
>I always wanted to play baseball with my tail... Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see how far I can bat a human.
>Write-In
>>
>>694854
>I always wanted to play baseball with my tail.
Time to get khorne some souls.
>>
"Oh, don't worry... Just going to practice on batting a little."

You land right down into the center of the village, and quickly aim your tail towards the nearest tent, where it seems a few adults are rushing away from you... It seems like a fastball on this one!

Roll me a 1d20+13 for playing ball. Additional +2 for anything you can yell which will terrify them! (Serious or not)
>>
Rolled 18 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>694877
>Do you like getting your souls corrupted by a chaos god? Cause your about to get your souls corrupted by a chaos god.
>>
"So, everyone like getting your souls corrupted by a Chaos God? Because your about to get your souls corrupted by a Chaos God!"

You send your tail into the crowd of people, crushing a few lucky ones and sending the rest flying into the air... Which you jump up to eat. Tasty!
Your tail begins swooshing around, knocking people all over and crushing some, while you bite down and eat a few people... You notice a few humans seem to be trying to climb up your scales, and it seems Raghilda is trying to take care of them... Meanwhile, you see a handful of marauders on horseback charging towards you!

Actions.

>...Oh man, you can't hurt horses... Try to flap your wings and knock the marauders off!
>Try to pluck a few of the marauders off with your claws. You'd rather not hurt the horses...
>Ignore them... They can't do anything.
>...You know, why don't you just circle around and breathe fire?
>...Nom!
>Your tail can handle this. You love it already...
>Ice breath, go!
>Fire, fire! FIRE!
>Spit acid at them!
>Burrow underground!
>...Nothing like being terrifying as hell!
>Write-In
>>
>>694911
>Ice breath, go!
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10. Additional +2 for ice-related puns.
>>
Rolled 7 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>694933
>All this attention is Ice but you guys better cool it.
Ren is pun powered.
>>
Top kek.

7+12=19
Minor Success!

'Come on guys, all this attention is Ice, buy you guys better cool it!"

You suddenly breathe ice into the horsemen, sending their mounts running and freezing a few to death. You of course, go back to playing with your tail and hitting home runs... Which go into your mouth, or land an awful far ways away. It's really quite fun. You also note that Raghnild is fighting some remaining warriors on your back. You can't really deal with them without hurting her... So you wait for a victor...

Roll me a 1d20+8 to see if she wins. Additional +2 for encouraging words.
>>
Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>694950
>>
Rolled 7 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>694950
>Kick their asses. You've fought tougher shit than them!
>>
9+8=17

Minor Success!

"Come on, kick their asses. You've fought tougher shit then them!"

She kicks one guy off your back (which you nom) and another guy down the tail... Which you flick upwards and get the guy impaled on. Cool! The final guy gets punched in the throat and his neck broken. And kicked off your back... And who you also nom. She seems to of taken some minor injuries, and you finish up destroying the village by setting it aflame and flying off.

"Well... That was fun."

"It was... Did you see my tail? It sent at least ONE GUY into space!"

"Yeah. It did indeed..."

"Now, anything else?"

"Not that I can think of... Besides maybe raiding a few Imperial or Bretonnian settlements for some money..."

Actions.

>...Well, I did need slaves anyways.
>...One tumble per village. You know the rules, and so do I.
>...Well, since your with me... I suppose your going home with me. And tumbling with me and my wife...
>Aw, thanks for noticing my tail. It's special to me.
>First, why don't we land somewhere? I need to "vent" something.
>Sorry... But my brother doesn't want me raiding any more.
>Why don't we head back to your meadhall?
>Write-In
>>
>>694972
>Why don't we head back to your meadhall. You owe me a tumble
Ren will pillage for sex.
>>
"Well, let's go back to your meadhall... You owe me a tumble anyways."

"Right. Nearly forgot."

You land and shift down... And you head to her quarters where she seems to wait for you.
Roll me a 1d20+13 for tumbling. Samefaggging allowed.
>>
Rolled 10 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>695008
Time to tumble!
>>
Rolled 12 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>695008
And another.
>>
Rolled 8 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>695008
And I guess will jynx myself and do one more roll
>>
12+13=25

Success!

You tumble for a few hours before falling asleep. She seems to have enjoyed it, though it wasn't as prestigious as some of your other conquests... You go to sleep, satisified. You must admit, her "thing" with the axe impressed you... And your new prehensile tail only made more things "complicated" so to speak. And a little more romantic.
Some dirty, dirty part of you thinks Slaanesh would be pleased, but you quickly turn that part of the brain off.

Eventually you wake up with her rather... Well, evil-looking claws over your chest and her being rather relaxed with her naked body... Even if it's covered in tattoos of Chaos... And you briefly consider what to do...

Actions.

>...You'll just silently kidnap her and fly homeward. Yeah. She won't even notice a thing.
>Wake her up. You're taking her with you or at least saying a polite goodbye.
>...Well, want to know how you can "save her" and have her stay with you? Start a fire.
>...Ice aura so she gets a little closer to you... You feel like sleeping, honestly... And maybe some tumbling in a little bit.
>Erh, well, best to make your escape now. You're just going out for a 'pack of smokes', right?
>Write-In
>>
>>695052
>Ice aura so she gets a little closer to you.
Let's relax a bit more.
>>
You start your ice aura and feel a little more comfortable. She of course hugs you a little more, her wicked claws slightly scratching your scales.

"...Is it just me or is it freezing in here?"

"I recommend you get closer to me then."

She of course, does so.

Actions.

>...Want to tumble some more?
>...So, are we friends or friends with benefits? I can't seem to tell...
>...So, can I have a kiss? You owe me for you headbutting me earlier...
>Have any dreams?
>Why don't we talk a little? I know little about you... Besides you being a warrior.
>Write-In
>>
Just tossing this out there.

We should probably talk to her about not raiding our settlements at some point. We got the nookie, time to make sure the cookie don't get shoved up our ass
>>
>>695084
>Talk to her about not raiding our settlements.
>>
I'm back anons. Just got back from reading Clinton's emails about the Catholic Church.

Really fucking pissed sufficiently said.

"...Hey uh, Ragnhild?"

"...Hm?"

"I was curious... Could you not raid my settlements?"

"Well..."

"Come on, please?"

She sighs a little bit.

"I can't really tell my men where to raid besides specific countries... But I'll tell them to target someone else, alright?"

"Thanks."

She continues to rest her head on you.

"...So, you came all this way North just to get laid?"

"Erh, well..."

"Hold on, I might need some mead for this story."

She calls for a thrall to bring her some mead and she chugs it down.

"Right, let me guess... Prophetic dream? Your dick pointed north like a compass, and you were afraid that it would detach if you went southward? Or were you just looking for an alcohol and a place to annoy me with being as cold as frost-touched metal?"

"Huh? Sorry."

You tune it down a little.

"Thank you. My hand was stuck to you."

"...That's not a bad thing, you know."

"Well, maybe not for when you decide to use your tail for... Well, that one act in particular..."

"Come on, what were we talking about?"

"I was curious about why you came northward to me."

Actions

>Well... We're both servants of Chaos in a sense... And I have to complete my collection of wives.
>I mean, I have a warrior wife at home, but I don't have a viking beserker yet... It's limited edition, you know?
>...I mostly wanted to get laid. And pass the time.
>...Hey, look at the time! I think we should get going.
>...Have you ever considered becoming a vampire? I know someone who could help.
>You know, just curious... Have you considered becoming a daemon? I could help.
>Just saying that you'd look better covered in scales.
>Write-in
>>
Bumping.
>>
>>695623
I'm going to be sleeping soon but am back for now.
>I came up here because I ran into a raid from your guys. After questioning them a bit I heard about you and said why the fuck not check this out.

>Just saying you'd like being a dragon.
>>
How the fuck dare you.
I'm triggered to the ninth power.

"Well, I came up here because I ran into a raid from your guys... After questioning them a bit I heard about you and said why the fuck not, why don't I check you out? Oh, and just saying I think you'd like to be a dragon."

"Ah. Right..."

She relaxes a little on the bed, letting go of you.

"So... Would you care if I ask why you have claws?"

"Gift from the Gods, you know the deal."

"Erh, how did you get it specifically?"

"Well, I did a large ritual to Kharn. You know, sacrifice some prisoners we captured, set a ship on fire, that sort of thing."

"Right."

"And apparently he was pleased enough where he granted me claws. Maybe not devastatingly sharp or anything, but still, quite useful in the right hands."

"I see..."

"What, like my claws?"

"Sort of... Mine are better though. Do they impede you doing anything?"

"Not really. Most of what I do has very little to do with anything besides ruling or killing."

"I see. Well then..."

"Hold on, hold on... I'm also slightly curious. Who exactly are you?"

"Well, I'm Renexizious. Dragon, and Emperor of Sweden."

"...Sweden?"

"Norsca but much more prosperous and less daemon worship."

"...Right?" She seems a little confused already.

"Well, I have three wives... Erh, one... Two... Three... Something over a dozen children, I believe, and loving parents."

"Erh... Well, would you mind if I ask questions?"

"Well, sure."

"...Parents? Who exactly are the parents to a dragon?"

"Well, let me start with my relationship with my mother then..."

Actions.

>...I have a very loving mom. Who's also a little overprotective. But I love her too.
>...I have a mom. She's pretty cool if a little bit of an ass sometimes.
>Erh, why don't we talk about something else?
>You know how mom's are typically the whole "goody two-shoes" and are nice people? Well, that's my mom. But evil as fuck, but a nice mom to me. I guess.
>She's sort of a bitch, I guess. Way too protective... And I don't like how she treats her slaves.
>...Well, I'd imagine if she was a nicer dragon that I wouldn't be the huge slaving despot that everyone thinks of me in my dimension.
>Write-In
>>
>>695772
>Basically imagimg a regular mother. But also make her an evil dragon. She's nice to me though. So I still love her.
>>
>>695772
>You know how mom's are typically the whole "goody two-shoes" and are nice people? Well, that's my mom. But evil as fuck, but a nice mom to me. I guess.
>>
"Basically imagine a regular mom. But also make her an evil dragon. She's nice to me though, so I still love her."

"...Your mom is evil?"

"Well, yes."

"Well, how would you know that?"

You start laughing aloud.

"Oh, that's easy. That is very easy. She has slaves, concubines... Doesn't treat them well, has dreams of world conquest I'd guess, and doesn't really like good people."

"...I see. That's sort of sweet, I suppose. So uh, what about you? I remember you asking me for slaves."

"Right, you did."

"And you did destroy that village to just have sex with me... So basically I'm also tumbling an evil dragon, right?"

Actions.

>...I'm not evil. God. Why does everyone assume that? I treat my slaves decently, along with my concubines...
>Come on, if anything I'm lawful evil...
>Yeah, it's fun, right? Evil. Definitely evil.
>...I'm sort of good? I mean, I have the best intentions for people in the end.
>I prefer not to put myself in the alignment system. It's a little bad.
>...What's better to say, goodie or badie?
>Just saying my brother Richard is basically the token good guy of the family. Along with my grandpa, apparently.
>Write-In
>>
>>695799
>I'm not evil I'm just naturally destructive. I don't have any bad intentions.
>>
"Come on, I'm not evil. I'm just naturally destructive. I don't have any bad intentions."

"Eh, I don't really care too much. As long as you aren't planning for something retarded like "I'm going to end the world" or worse."

"...Like make it a domain of Slaanesh?"

"...By the Gods, I am going to vomit just thinking that."

"Please don't."

"So... I think I have an idea of what your dad is. Poor guy abducted? Or just a guy who was really fucking lucky and instead of being eaten was used as a sex toy or something?"

You nearly laugh at what she says thanks to the mental picture.

"No... Honestly I have no idea. But he's a viking. Sort of. He's a ex-soldier and a Godi, which is pretty cool."

"Right..."

"And an adventurer with my mom at one point or the other. From what I hear he annoyed her enough that she slept with him."

"Well, that seems to be certainly true with you and me. You kept trying to kiss me on the battlefield."

"Did not."

"You did."

"...Let's just move on. Then we have my brother, who's the goody two-shoes of the family. Cool guy really."

"So uh, how do you get along with your dad if you don't mind me interrupting?"

Actions.

>We get along great!
>...I've been considering making him a dragon. Just saying.
>He tries his best. For a dad of a dragon.
>He's... Honestly, he's a softie. Don't tell him that, but he's usually pretty cool with what I do. And encourages it slightly.
>Oh shit! I nearly forgot, I have a small amulet... A Mjolinr's hammer I think. Do you want it? (Or alternatively, put it on)
>Eh, he's alright. But I don't know him too well.
>...I've considered getting Extra-Strength floor tiles just to prevent him from damaging them every five minutes.
>He's a dick at times... I think. He's a religious guy about the Norse Gods.
>Well, I want to make him proud of me. Which is easier said then done. I think he has high expectations since I'm a dragon after all.
>Write-in
>>
>>695844
>We get along great. I made him into a half-dragon and everything.
>Oh shit! I nearly forgot, I have a small amulet... A Mjolinr's hammer I think. (Put it on)
>>
>>695854
This.
Anyways I'm off to sleep.
>>
"We get along great. I made him into a half dragon and everything... Oh shit, hang on..."

You reach into your pocket and fish out your dad's amulet, and put it on.

"How do I look?"

"Nice amulet... Your family sounds... Sort of normal."

"Sort of normal and yet we have lots of scales. It's cool though. Any more questions?"

"No. Thank you for telling me. So you have three wives your looking into?"

Actions.

>...Well, there's a minotaur, a dragon, and a vampire. The minotaur isn't mine though.
>There's a minotaur, a dragon, and a vampire. And yes, I'm tumbling all of them. Or soon to be all of them...
>Well, you'll get along great with them. It's sort of like a family. Dedicated to giving me tumbles and in exchange I consider them a part of my horde...
>Just saying the furry one isn't mine, it's Flames idea.
>Make sure Flames and Fenrir are asleep. Just out of curiosity.
>Well, one day you might reach wife or concubine status. But I think we're good as friends, no?
>Yeah, don't worry about it though. You're my new concubine... I haven't had one for a while.
>Yeah, we're getting married soon enough. So don't worry about it.
>Write-In
>>
>>695877
>...Well, there's a minotaur, a dragon, and a vampire. The minotaur isn't mine though. She's married to my second head.
>>
"Well, there's a minotaur, a dragon, and a vampire. The minotaur isn't mine, she's married to my second head."

"...You're marrying beastmen?"

You laugh slightly.

"No, no... Flames would do that, the fucking furry... But in case your wondering, yes my head has a different personality from me, and no I'm not crazy."

"I thought it was sneaking looks back at me."'

"Yeah. I don't know what he thinks of you though. He really only talks to me..."

"So... Minotaur, vampire?"

"Von Carstein. French. And hot as fucking hell."

"Right... And then a dragon?"

"Yeah, my first wife... She's a bit traditionalistic and slightly religious, but I love her all the same."

"Got it...Well, this is... Interesting."

"Yeah. So, any questions?"

"...So if this minotaur is married to your second head, wouldn't that be awkward? Sounds like a curse in a sense."

Actions

>Well, don't tell Flames but I do in fact love her like every one of my other wives.
>It's not a curse if she will share a bed with me.
>...Now that you mention it, it would make good poetry or fiction... Hm...
>Personally, don't tell Flames but I really wish he never married that cow.
>...It's a little awkward at times, I will admit that.
>She likes being called Horny. Just saying.
>She's uh... She can only speak Greek, so don't expect to understand her at all.
>Baby, when your living with me every moment is awkward.
>Nah, it's fine. We're great friends, I think.
>So uh, don't shit talk her or try to convert her to Chaos, alright?
>Just saying that she's quite large. I saw her explode a Skaven just by slamming it into a wall.
>Write-In
>>
Passing out now anons. Sorry.
>>
>>695915
>Just saying that she's quite large. I saw her explode a Skaven just by slamming it into a wall.
>>
>>695978
Good night, QM. I need to pass the fuck out as well.
>>
As soon as I post something. Really?

"Just saying she's quite large. I saw her explode a Skaven just by slamming it into a wall."

"Really? Interesting."

"Yeah."

"Anyways... I suppose enough about your relationships. It's a little personal."

"Yeah..."

The two of you fuss around under the warm fur blankets.

"So... I sort of noticed something. Mostly how all the norscans seem to be anywhere from a foot to three feet taller then any other humans I've seen... Why?"

"How am I supposed to know? All I know is the southern folk are quite weak compared to us."

"Right..."

You fold your hands over her breasts... So soft... Your tail instinctively wraps around her legs...

"Anyways, I've been asking enough questions. Why don't you try asking me any. Or do you need a drink to loosen your tongue?"

Actions.

>...I'll gladly take a drink.
>...Come on, let's stop talking and get to tumbling.
>No, no. It's fine. You can ask as many questions as you like...
>I do have plenty of questions...
>Come on... Let's sleep in a little.
>...Just a quick question. Do you consider us friends or anything?
>Write-In
>>
Gonna bump tonight anons.
>>
>>696009
>I do have plenty of questions.
Ask her what her parents are like.
(I will be busy for the day so I might not be here long right now.)
>>
>>696009
>...I'll gladly take a drink.
>No, no. It's fine. You can ask as many questions as you like...
>>
"Well, I do have plenty of questions. What were your parents like?"

"Well, my father was a tribal champion... Went to raid the Southernlands and never came back. Showed me the basics of combat, And my mom was a wise woman. You know, dealing with medicines, signs, that sort of thing."

"I see."

"Yeah... I still sort of miss them. Lost them when I was young. Mom passed away in her sleep about four winters ago."

"I see... How old are you?"

"About twenty-four."

"I see."

A few seconds go by..

"So, your parents sound a lot more interesting then mine. Probably because yours are still alive. I wasn't so lucky."

"If it makes you feel better, I'm sorry."

"It's fine... Let's talk about something else... And drink some more mead, of course. Rather not get into dire spirits."

Another thrall brings you some mead and the two of you drink it down.

"That's the stuff... Anyways, got any more family?"

"I have a fuckton of kids."

"...A fuckton?"

Actions.

>...Think a boat. A metal boat. Then enlarge it to about... Battleship size. And that's about how much my kids weigh in total.
>Oh, yeah. Some I don't even remember the name of.
>...Yeah... It's hard being a father when you barely know most of your kids.
>If you want, I can tell you about them in detail.
>Let me just give a brief description of them.
>What? I don't have any kids... (Lie)
>Write-In
>>
>>696556
>Let me just give a brief description of them.
>If you want, I can tell you about them in detail.
>>
"Well, I'll give you a brief description, and if you want I can tell you about them in detail."

"Erh, right."

"Well, there's my heir, Charlemagne, he's religious and we don't get along too well... Then Revenaris who's pretty cool, if a little passive and rather "humany" for a dragon. Then my son Viktorious who's an ambitious asshole. We sort of get along... Then Maria, one of my daughters. She's sort of a hippie... But she's a nice girl. Oh, and Joan. She's sort of like you but a lot less warrior-like... Then Julius, who's a somewhat crazy vampire... Then we have Victoria. I don't really know who she is. Then I think I have a Danish kid who rarely speaks, Mikhal who's one of my elven bastards, and another daughter who's an elven bastard... I probably have a few more I don't even know about."

"...That's a lot of kids..."

"Oh yeah. Oh, and Basil. Nearly forgot about him. He's a little bit of a cutthroat capitalist."

She seems confused, quite confused.

"...That's a... A lot of kids."

"Oh yeah. I also have an egg which will hatch soon."

"I'm sort of confused though... You can't possibly have that many kids."

"Oh, don't worry. I spread them out with a few concubines."

"Concubines... Right... So not all of them are from your wife?"

"No, a few are uh... Well, non-consent cases."

"I see... So you have three wives counting me, a vampire, and a dragon... Then how many concubines do you have?"

"Had. I had three of them... Karolina, Emilia, and... I forget her name..."

"Right... So uh, how exactly do you parent that many kids?"

Actions.

>Parent them? I let my wives do that.
>It's... Well, as long as they aren't in trouble or anything I don't really care what they do.
>You'll find my sex life produces so many children that I've begun to forget some of their names.
>To be honest, if I could I would spend a lot more time with them. I mean, the sort of deserve to see their father more.
>I question that at times as well.
>I mostly just tumble and don't ask questions.
>...Why don't we talk about something else?
>Oh, and I also recently invitied my ex-concubines over to see their kids since I'm a nice guy.
>Write-in
>>
>>696575
>To be honest, if I could I would spend a lot more time with them. I mean, they sort of deserve to see their father more.
>>
>>696575
>Write-in
"I try to do what I can for them; sending them into education if they ask, sponsoring their efforts if they want and solving their problems in my, admittedly rare, visits or when they come to see me.

But I must run my nation, perform diplomacy, go to college, interact with my wives, save my nation from the slannesh, nurgle and tenzeetch. All the while knowing that my empire would shatter if I failed to return from any of my tasks.

I can't always be there, they know that, but I at least try unlike most dragons, who according to my mother just abandon their children entirely to fend for themselves. Plus they have each other which is more than some can say.

Oh, I also asked the concubines to come and interact with their children. Since I feel it would be for the best that they are involved."
>>
"To be honest, if I could I would spend a lot more time with them. I mean, they sort of deserve to see their father more... And I'm far too busy with adventuring to truly parent them. I try to do what I can for them; sending them into education if they ask, sponsoring their efforts i