>>685264
>...Fine, I guess we can ACTUALLY go for a challenge and raid a city.

I can't believe that I missed and didn't archive EDQ threads 24-29. So much knowledge lost.

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>>685283
You should really, really kill yourself.

Or if you want to, summarize what happened for future generations.
Pic related if no.

>>685291
>Said the gamemaster
Also I'm not the one who usually archieves things. I've only archived one EDQ and one or two NEQ. I'm just disappointed that those aren't archieves.

>>685305
Yeah, just kidding around mang.
I wonder what happened to Hare anyways. He started archiving then stopped.

>>685317
Maybe he moved or something. Perhaps he had just given up on life and this quest

So, I'm thinking a city. Which city though...

Right... So judging from what Frankizka told us, there's only three real "cities" in Bretonnia.

Which are?

Well, Mousilion. But that's our brother's, then we have the capital, Couronne, which is well, you know. Wealthy, capital, and probably highly populated, and then we have D'Ason, which is basically just a small town.

Right... Anything notable about them?

Well, they're HIGHLY protected, apparently, because there's so few cities in Bretonnia. And if we're just looking for a mere two-hundred... I think we should actually just attack a city then.

Actions

>...Man, I love raiding cities. Lots of nomming, chaos... And general blowing shit up.
>...Do you think they have princesses? I mean, this is basically fantasy France.
>Come on, don't you want to enslave the french?
>I say D'Ason, since it's not really important.
>...Our brother won't miss a few Mousilion peasants.
>Let's go all in... The Capital! Maybe we can ransom some captured knights or even the king if we so chose to.
>...Why don't we buy some slaves?
>...Let's just keep raiding villages then.
>Write-In

>>685365
>I say D'Ason, since it's not really important.

D'Ason then.

Right...

You and Elizabeth turn your flight towards D'Ason, and after a few thirty minutes you fly above... There are huge, stone walls surrounding the town, and the city seems not too well populated. Probably a mere 30,000 civilians. In addition there is a rather fancy keep in the middle of the city, and you see trebuchets, catapults, and dozens of archers on the walls... Not to mention a very, very large tower... Which you sense some magic in... Mages?

Actions.

>...Fly elsewhere. It's not worth getting a ballista bolt in your scales.
>...Oooh, Mages... Go for the mage tower first.
>You'll go for the Keep firstly. You know, where all the knights and damsels are.
>You'll just shift into your human form outside of the city... And infiltrate it.
>Walls? Walls.
>...You aren't here for a full-blown destroying a city thing. Burrow underground and try to just pick off some residences by grabbing them and dragging their residents underground.
>...Evil laugh and descend mode? Oh yeah, you know it.
>...You know, why don't you let your wife deal with this while you fly from above?
>You should take care of the siege weaponry, firstly...
>Write-in

>>685412
>...You know, why don't you let your wife deal with this while you fly from above?
I wasn't here for a lot of this. What ever happened to the egg Elizabeth laid? Also how does Elizabeth view her humanity now since I remember she was conflicted about it.

>>685431
She's mostly determined to not be a monster, and is starting to get used to being a dragon. Oh, and her egg hasn't exactly hatched yet, you know.

"Elizabeth?"

"What?"

"Do you want to handle this?"

"...Erh, I've neve-"

"Yes or no?"

"Sure?"

"Good on you!"

Actions.

>Switch PoV to Elizabeth!
>No, you'll just see what she does. (Dice Roll)
>Write-In

>>685443
>Switch PoV to Elizabeth!
Got it

You switch your point of view to Elizabeth.

You are Elizabeth, a huge dragon with a penchant for light-hearted slavery, and your husband has recently told you to enslave a city while he helps from above. This should be entertaining... Though some part of you would rather not actually do what he did last time. You know, threaten people? You were always a good person when it came to slaves... Even if some of them had rather uncivilized cultures.

Of course, now you get to figure out how to do your first slaving operation... Yay?

Actions

>...Erh, maybe you should ask Ren for advice.
>...No, you're a strong independent women. Tell Ren you can do this without his help.
>...Well, maybe you can just take a softer approach to slavery? You know, tell Ren to "attack" while you step in to "save the citizens" or something. And that dastardly Ren escapes with some slaves... It'd be like Shakespear. Sort of.
>Well... You never really imagined yourself in the shoes of a dragon. Maybe you should take the traditional approach?
>...Erh, land outside of the city and shift down. Maybe you can just "hire" some servants?
>Ren has a great evil laugh. Try to replicate it and land smack dab right by the keep. If you can.
>...You are a British Queen. And you will do this with decency. Land in front of the city walls and demand to speak with their leader.
>Write-In

>>685505
>Well... You never really imagined yourself in the shoes of a dragon. Maybe you should take the traditional approach?
>Ren has a great evil laugh. Try to replicate it and land smack dab right by the keep. If you can.
Lmao dragons

I'm continuing this in the morning tomorrow anons. Sorry.

>>685317
Oi faggot, Hare here. I've been busy with muh move, and I'll dig through the yuki.la archives or something and make a pastebin of the archives to put in the OP. But don't worry, I will be back. Don't really have proof I could give ya, but I can link ya to the fantasy civ discord I'm part of (and mentioned in the past) as proof.

>>685755
kys you potato fuck

>>685776
>>685755
Forgetting about me.

>>685317
>>685783
Fuck, right, Inky linked me here and can corroborate my story.

>>685776
Fuck off Obie (with a name like that I
must assume you are Obelix or one of the edgeposters from Nazi Experimental)

>>685799
Shove a potato in you while your at it. And shit it out and eat it. So you get double potatos.

>>685817
Wew, calm down Inquisitor, don't want ya having an anuerysm or something, we all know your 14 year old mind couldn't handle it :^)

Oh fug I attracted shitposters

>>685858
Fuck you my Vast will eat you cock off and fuck Roggar as well.
I could have gotten away with it, now to just get funding for my friends.

>all these edgeposters
>now in EDQ
Shut it down boys, it's all over.

>>685873
Yo Inqui, Trick told me to give you this

>>685884
>>685873
https://discord.gg/CawkM

>>685873
Oh shit, if I had to guess the next shitposter will be Plague followed by Inquisitor or Aksei.

>>685880
It's civ shitposters, sorry, they (Inqui) follow me around

Stop shitting this thread up random civ anons. Take it to the general.

>>685889
>>685884
Your a niggers, go jew a shekel from another Goy. You rat face fuck.

>>685898
This is kind of funny to watch

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>>685900
Try harder.

>>685898
I'm not a civ fag friendo :DDDD

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>>685898
I'm sorry QuestingQM, I honestly have no idea how these faggots got in here.

Civ anons fucking get out unless you want you want to participate.
(((Usernames))) are a mistake.

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>>685916
Here you go QM legit participate sorry about the others

>Well... You never really imagined yourself in the shoes of a dragon. Maybe you should take the traditional approach?

>>685916
"No"

>>685923
Hi Inky, long time no see. What's new?

Well thanks Inqui, Tot, and Obelix, for making me feel like shit for fucking up EDQ. If you feel like shitposting, keep it in the Discord or /qtg/, please don't harass an honestly good QM ;-;

>>685530
Seconding

Didn't realise /b/ infected this thread while I was trying to sleep.

Thank you based Inky.

I can only imagine the discptd.
Probably /b/ tier.

>>685941
>dirty goblin collaborator wanting to talk
kys potato :DDDD

>>685957
Discord, just gonna CTR here.

>>685957
Sorry QM, it really is fine aside from a few stragglers who are shitheads. Tot is just a shitposter from TrickQM's quest who I've asked on the discord multiple times to stop. Sorry.

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This is just stupid.
Anyways supporting this
>>685923
Vote

I can only imagine what fantasy civ and the discord for it are like.

Don't worry about it m8. Hey, maybe new player's join or something.

Fuck now I have to update because I'm woke.

>>685957
Well thanks for that, I show Hare that you're thread was up, but with Hare coming to post, it brought a can of worms.

He was thank full for showing this to him, but for him some reason, coming here brought the others as well, so sorry about that. I'll still want to see that conquistador quest when you go back to it.

You of course, decide to try to replicate Rens evil laugh, and land in the town... Anons, roll me a 1d20+5 for scaring mortals, additional +2 if you can say or do something to terrify them.

Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686020
Ask where can we meet the queen

Rolled 12 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>686020
Do it in a British accent

Rolled 8 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>686020
(Got to go to sleep now, but I may as well try)

If I'm this big, how do you think my husband looks? He's a big guy... For you.

>>686009

Same fsmalam.

Hey, at least my quest gets new attention.

Also Liz already talks in a British accent.

>>686047
Make it extra British

>>685961
>>685927
>>685900
>>685873
>>685817
>>685776
>pretending to be me
Try harder Obelix

Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686020

>>686055
>he think it's me
ayyy senpai i don't ruin people's quests.

>>686070
>implying you didn't ruin our quest
wew lad

You give an evil laugh and land smackdab by the keep, while threatening them that your husband is a big guy.
And they respond by telling in French, some people run, but it seems some knights and soldiers are going to attack you.

Actions

>...Use that draconic brain of yours to understand Frog!
>...You know, you always wanted to do this. As in rampage against the fucking French...
>Knights? Attacking you, a woman? And much less a queen? How unchivalrous! Notify this to them immediately!
>Grab a few peasants!
>You'd like this place with some more snow. Turn on your frost aura.
>Not to sound greedy... But try to find the Treasury.
>Castle? Ooh, investigate!
>Deal with the soldier's and knights the hard way.
>You hate taking human life... Use a gentle frost breath against the peasants or soldiers to enslave them.
>Write In

>>686154
>Knights? Attacking you, a woman? And much less a queen? How unchivalrous! Notify this to them immediately!

>>686154
>...You know, you always wanted to do this. As in rampage against the fucking French...
>You'd like this place with some more snow. Turn on your frost aura.

>>686154
>Knights? Attacking you, a woman? And much less a queen? How unchivalrous! Notify this to them immediately!

You try conversing to the knights, but they fail to understand you and charge with their horses against your feet, damaging you slightly. It mostly tickles, but if they get past your scales there is no defense...

HP: 8,900
Current: 8,500

Actions

>Frost Aura!
>...Erh, Stomp them.
>... Nom them? You'd rather not though... It's uncivilized. (Dice roll to see if she does do it.)
>Fly upwards!
>Try to understand French so you can communicate.
>Laugh? It hurts a little, but you can't let them know that.
>Ignore them for now.
>Write In

>>686217
>>Fly upwards!

>>686217
>Try to understand French so you can communicate.

You take flight upwards... Roll me a 1d20+5 to understand Frog

Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686247

>>686217
Hey QQM, i'm that guy from 31 who wasn't Baron! keep up the good work!

Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686247

Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686247

19+5=24

Good Success!

As you quickly take flight you translate their language and speak to the knights.

"How dare you! I land as the Queen of England, a woman, and you vandals assault me! How unchivalrous!"
Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if the knights are distracted or confused...

Rolled 5 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>686286

Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>686286
How will we explain what England is?

Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>686286

>>686291
I was about to talk about how we were getting good rolls

Critical Failure!

The knights respond by ignoring you and yelling that your a coward for not fighting them on the ground. Oh, and a small handful charge after you on... Pegasuses? What?

Of course, this distracts you from a trebuchet stone right in your face, and you dear sightly...

HP: 8,900
Current: 7,400

Actions

>Alright, that's it. No more misses nice dragon.
>Go after the knights. If they think your a coward, you'll prove them wrong!
>Pegasus knights vs you. Who wins?
>Take care of the siege engines!
>...Your here for slaves. Go after some peasants...
>The extent of your dishonor and unchivalrous attitude appauls me!
>I'm trying my best not to hurt you!
>Shapeshift?
>Give a menacing glare at the operators of that siege engine that hit you in the face.
>I'm human, like you!
>Turn on frost aura!
>Write In

>>686316
>Pegasus knights vs you. Who wins?

>>686316
>The extent of your dishonor and unchivalrous attitude appauls me!

Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling

1=Deal with Pegasuses!
2=How appalling!

You decide to deal with the Pegasuses...

Actions

>Fly straight towards them!
>Nom? I mean, you'd rather not... (Dice roll to see if she does Nom.)
>Try to freeze them mid air!
>...You don't want to hurt the horses or Pegasuses if that's what their called. Just try to dehorse them through flapping your wings towards them.
>Nevermind... You have a better idea!
>Try to duck down and suddenly go up so they get on your back?
>What's that game... Chicken? Right, play that.
>Have you ever wanted to serve the British Crown?
>Write In

>>686353
>...You don't want to hurt the horses or Pegasuses if that's what their called. Just try to dehorse them through flapping your wings towards them.

>>686353
>What's that game... Chicken? Right, play that.
What is Liz' intimidate modifier?

>>686366
A good +5.

Also, gonna pass out now. Props to Obelix for trying to keep horses alive.

>>686358
This.

>>686371
Its not our fault if they don't move

Damn, I can't sleep tonight.

Roll me a 1d20+6 anons.

Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>686433
Same. At least I got Black Sabbath as company

Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>686433

12+6=18

Minor Success!

You carefully flap your wings towards the knights, who instead of being dehorse are forced to land on the ground... A ballista bolt passes by your tail and you turn around... A few archers aim their bow towards you, ready to fire.

Actions

>Take care of the Pegasus knights...
>Go for the siege weapons now!
>Take care of the archers!
>Ignore them and go for the civilian.
>Land on the ground besides the Pegasus knights.
>Write In

>>686446
>Land on the ground besides the Pegasus knights.
Diplomacy HO!

>>686446
>Go for the siege weapons now!

Rolled 1 (1d2)

Just woke up. And got three hours of sleep.
Fuck yeah.

Rolling.
1=Land on the ground besides the knights.
2=Go for the siege weapons!

Your natural response is... Well, naturally to land on the ground besides the knights. You spend a minute however, attempting to dodge a handful of pesky arrows and a rather nasty Ballista bolt. Most of the scales simply thud off your scales, but a indirect few get stuck and a very select few hit the more weaker parts of your scales... The Ballistia bolt on the other hand, impacts with a thud on one of your scales by your torso, nearly ripping one of your scales off. You of course pull it out with ease and see a tiny bit of blood coming out, but otherwise fine. You make a mental note to deal with the uppity bastard in a little bit, as you turn to the... Charging knights with Pegasuses? Who seem to be charging your feet?
How brave, how remarkable!
How utterly stupid!

Actions.

>Enough of this tom-foolery. Stomp on them. (Strength, HARD)
>Oh, come along now... At least spare the horses. You were always a fan of them. You know what to do? Flick them off of said horses. (Strength, HARD, Unless Great Success and above, you are likely to take damage.)
>Nom? Well... Certainly? (Dice Roll to see if she goes through with it. Strength, HARD)
>Frost Aura. No need to have your feet injured...
>You know, you always wanted loyal knights... As slaves, of course. Try to freeze them with your breath. (Agility, VERY HARD)
>Tell them to lay down their arms or be "utterly and magnificently" squished by the Queen of England. (Intimidation, HARD)
>Calmly lower your head and look at them. Then notify them that it's not really "chivalrous" to attack a noblewoman. (Charisma, HARD)
>Lower your head, and sharply reprimand the fact they are a currently attack their NEW ruler. And that if they continue, the price of treason is death.
>...Ask a brief question, if they like serving their current monarch. Then grab them... (Strength, HARD)
>...Write-in

>>686540
>Oh, come along now... At least spare the horses. You were always a fan of them. You know what to do? Flick them off of said horses. (Strength, HARD, Unless Great Success and above, you are likely to take damage.)
i ain't giving up.

Going to wait an hour anons. Sorry.

>>686540
>Oh, come along now... At least spare the horses. You were always a fan of them. You know what to do? Flick them off of said horses. (Strength, HARD, Unless Great Success and above, you are likely to take damage.)

Roll me a 1d20+5

Rolled 4 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686616

Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>686616

Wew lad.

Critical Success!

You flick the knights off of their horses, utterly knocking them out and sending them flying against the wall, unconscious. The pegauses meanwhile bray and generally start fleeing, terrified of you. This of course, gives you a slight idea...

Actions

>...How cool would it be to return home with a Pegasus as a mount? Grab one of the slower moving Pegauses. Luckily, your hand easily outreaches how fast their moving, allowing this to be a automatic success...
>Their masters don't deserve freedom... Grab them and put them on your back. (Gain 20 Slaves.)
>Try to grab one of the faster ones! (Agility)
>Finish the knights off with a hearty stomp.
>Ignore the Pegasues... It would be cool, but you have bigger concerns.
>Write-In

>>686654
>...How cool would it be to return home with a Pegasus as a mount? Grab one of the slower moving Pegauses. Luckily, your hand easily outreaches how fast their moving, allowing this to be a automatic success...
>Their masters don't deserve freedom... Grab them and put them on your back. (Gain 20 Slaves.)

>>686654
>...How cool would it be to return home with a Pegasus as a mount? Grab one of the slower moving Pegauses. Luckily, your hand easily outreaches how fast their moving, allowing this to be a automatic success...
>Their masters don't deserve freedom... Grab them and put them on your back. (Gain 20 Slaves.)
We out

You grab one of the pegasuses and the knights, putting them on your back. It'll be rather hard to tame both the knights and the pegasus... But you think your up to it.
Also... It's a fucking Pegasus. Some part of you is immensely satisfied simply by owning one.

Of course, you turn your attention to the siege machines... They are quite a nuisance. And it seems the archers are about to fire again, along with the siege weapons...

Actions

>Take to the skies again!
>The siege weapons might hurt a little, but the archers are truly annoying, like ticks... Focus on them again.
>...Maybe Ren would like his own pegasus? Change your attention to grabbing another one for him.
>You always liked large walls, but in this case it's a nuisance. Maybe some professional care may be required? As in crushing the wall?
>...You have your very own pegasus and a handful of enslaved knights. Your rather good on the "personal slave meter" Take off.
>...Some part of you wants to go full draconic overlord. As in go for the civilians. And that's what you intend on doing.
>...You aren't really a slob, but no one will mind if you take a bite out of the wall, and by extension the archers? (Dice Roll to see if she does this)
>Frost Aura, though it may be lethal to anything on your back... And that rather adorable pegasus.
>Try to use your (rather weak) frost breath against the wall!
>Write-In

>>686661
>...You have your very own pegasus and a handful of enslaved knights. Your rather good on the "personal slave meter" Take off.

You decide to cut your losses and take back to the skies with Ren. Twenty enslaved knights seem good enough.

"Ren? I think I'm good."

"Oh, hey Liz. You've been doing a good job... How many slaves did you get?"

"Just twenty. Oh, and a pegasus!"

"That's... Nice? Why do you want a pegasus?"

"Ren, have you ever ridden a horse?"

"...Sort of? I think, once."

"Have you ever ridden a FLYING horse?"

"No? I can fly already."

You sigh slightly.

"Well... I have a horse that flies, and I am quite happy with that."

"That's great... So uh, I still need about two-hundred slaves. I only have about sixty. Oh, and I need to grab some for Chrysoula."

Actions.

>...Switch back to Renexizious.
>...Why do you want more slaves anyways? I mean, it would be rather hard to take them back with us.
>...Speaking of Pegasus... I need to name her. Him. Whatever it is.
>I'll wait for you then.
>...Don't go on a rampage, dear. I don't know about you, but I like having a good name among othe- I mean, humans.
>I think we have enough. Come on... Sixty slaves is probably enough for whatever your doing.
>Just curious, could you show me how to laugh like that sometime?
>You know, I know someone back in Europe who can sell these slaves for a great price...
>If you want, you can help me train OUR pegasus. And my new slaves.
>Write-In

>>686661
>The siege weapons might hurt a little, but the archers are truly annoying, like ticks... Focus on them again.
>...You have your very own pegasus and a handful of enslaved knights. Your rather good on the "personal slave meter" Take off.

>>686672
>...Switch back to Renexizious.
He can carry more slaves

>>686672
>If you want, you can help me train OUR pegasus. And my new slaves.
Quality is better than numbers.

Minor fun fact, Elizabeth grew to an equal size of Renexizious.

"...Well then, if you want you can help me train OUR pegasus. And my new slaves."

"Right... Who are they?"

"Just you know, knights."

"...That might be a little hard to train, Liz. You sure?"

"Well, they're probably smarter then the common rabble."

"Well, how are you going to train them to be loyal and obedient?"

"Well, I was intending to simply tell them what to do, and show the benefits of working with me... Even if they won't get paid."

"I see. Well, at least your kind about enslaving."

"Unlike your mother."

"Right."

You switch back to Renexizious.

"So... You want to help me or not, Ren?"

Actions.

>...Come on. I think your being a little soft on the slaves. I think a more "brute" method could help... My mother's a expert at it.
>I'd be happy to. I'll make sure to make it romantic... Somehow.
>...I guess? I suppose it could be fun.
>Why don't you try to fool the knights into serving us or something?
>Hold on... I got to get a few more slaves.
>Let's head... Sort of home, back to Mousilion.
>Write-In

>>686688
>I'd be happy to. I'll make sure to make it romantic... Somehow.

>>686688
>Hold on... I got to get a few more slaves.

"Well I'd be happy to. I'll make sure to romantic, somehow."

"Right... So what's the plan? Get more slaves?"

"Well..."

Actions.

>Nah, we're good.
>I think it's MY turn to terrify a city.
>Since I am a gentleman, I recommend you avert your eyes. Because some people may or may not get squished or nomed.
>Let's terrify some villages. And get their slaves.
>...Would you like some more slaves? Just curious.
>...What, no kiss? Come on...
>Well, I'll show those humans for hurting you slightly. How dare they!
>Write-in

Current Slave Count

Ren: 60
Liz: 20

>>686710
>Let's terrify some villages. And get their slaves.

>>686710
>Since I am a gentleman, I recommend you avert your eyes. Because some people may or may not get squished or nomed.

Switching to this>>686715

"Well, let's terrify some villages and enslave them. But since I am a gentelman, I recommend you avert your eyes. Because some people may or may not get squished or nommed."

"I see... Well, there's a village coming up not too far away."

Roll me a 1d20 for how prosperous this village is.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>686721

You come across... Basically a very, very wealthy village, with a huge church, well-made buildings, sort of reminding you of the renaissance, and it lays just on the coast, with a magnificently large castle... Not to mention you see public fountains, paved roads, and an apparently very happy citizenry, who you can practically feel emanating happiness and content.

Actions.

>...No, you won't attack peasants who are actually content with their lot in life and live in decent living conditions!
>...Ooooh, money! And slaves! Land!
>...Your kind of curious who does rule over this village. Maybe pay a brief visit to the keep?
>...Well, nothing like smashing and eating a handful of happy people. Land on a building and generally sow chaos.
>Evil laugh? Evil laugh.
>Write-In

>>686734
>...Your kind of curious who does rule over this village. Maybe pay a brief visit to the keep?

>>686734
>...Well, nothing like smashing and eating a handful of happy people. Land on a building and generally sow chaos.

IIRC Bretonnia is like a mixture of North Korea and Feudal Europe particularly France. This means that the common people live in absolute squalor and they're not allowed to move meaning that inbreeding is so prevalent that mutations like 6 fingers are common. That make make enslaving this aristocratic village morally justified.

>>686743
>they're not allowed to move meaning that inbreeding is so prevalent that mutations like 6 fingers are common
So regular pre-industrial life?

>>686748
>*looks over to russia*

You have a slight curiosity over who does rule over this village, and you fly overhead of the castle... You seem to be noticed, and the guards prepare in case you do swoop down...

Actions.

>...Well, how about that! They're preparing for your visit! Land directly INSIDE the castle walls!
>This village seems wealthy and content... Maybe you'll just talk to the count. Duke. Whatever.
>...Smash, nom! Crush! Go over the castle and land in the town!
>...Maybe you'll land far away from it and shift down.
>Write-In

>>686765
>This village seems wealthy and content... Maybe you'll just talk to the count. Duke. Whatever.
let's talk to the cun--erm ... count.

>>686765
>...Smash, nom! Crush! Go over the castle and land in the town!

Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Talk to the ruler?
2=Pillage the Village!

You land beside the castle, towering over it's walls.

"I want to talk to the mortal ruler in charge of this castle. Bring me him, and I may just spare your village a terrible fate..." Is what you say to a rather terrified and young guard.

He gulps and goes get him. Meanwhile, many of the guards seem to point weapons towards you.

Actions.

>...Tell your wife to land on the OTHER side of the castle.
>...What are you looking at?
>...You tire of these mortal guards. Take care of them by freezing them with fire. As in set them on fire and freeze them.
>...You know what? I tire of waiting. Go over the wall and rip off the roof of the castle.
>...Could you bring me some tea? I feel rather british.
>Excuse me mortals, but I request a healthy amount of beef and butter. It's a part of my diet.
>I recommend all of you flee before I get angry at the cu- I mean, lord in charge.
>I have a good job policy. Anyone intersted in working with me?
>Write-In

>>686779
>...Tell your wife to land on the OTHER side of the castle.
>...What are you looking at?

You yell for your wife to land on the OTHER side of the castle.

"What are all of you looking at? I thought my wife was more attractive then me, to be honest..."

After a little bit a rather tall fellow in plate armor comes out, followed by a rather scruffy looking servant.

"...Lord, I think there's a dragon here to see you." The servant seems a little... Slow.

"...I can see that. Why don't we switch positions? Just claim I'm insane or something."

"My lord, there's two dragons here to see you..."

"I can see that, damn it... I'll just say... Wobbels."

"Wobbels, sir?"

"Damn it, good point... They'll never believe that I'm insane..."

"If you excuse me sir... I have a cunning plan."

"I'm desperate enough to see what it is... Lady forgive me..."

"Why don't we get a pumpkin and put it on a goat?"

"...I think it's a little late for that."

The lord looks up towards you, and you cough loudly.

"I can hear you, you know."

"...I see. Well, I am Sir Vismarin. And this is my... Somewhat unintelligent servant, Bormar."

"Hello."

"Now... What do you need?"

It's clear that this... Sir Vismarian, is very, very nervous. While his servant is either brave or stupid enough not to be afraid of you.

Actions.

>...Erh, hello. Is this your village?
>I'm pleased to meet you!
>...A goat with a pumpkin on it's head? I don't think that would fool me.
>I am deeply insulted that you think you can trick me with a mere pumpkin on a goat.
>...Nom them for deeply insulting you.
>...This is good comedy. Huh.
>What's with the unintelligent servant following you?
>Crush them. Your the lord around here now...
>...Excuse me, but can I have a "handful" of citizens to come with me? Forever?
>Write-In

>>686800
>...This is good comedy. Huh.
*Master and servant Comedic effect increase*
INB4 the servant is actually smarter and more Brave.
i say we ask them to invert their roles, for French literature purposes.

>>686800
>...This is good comedy. Huh.

"This is good comedy. Why don't you switch?"

"Erh, no. Bormar is thicker then a ox!"

"How so?"

"Besides being unable to count to three or tell his ass from his elbows?"

Actions

>Point taken.
>Oh, you should take up comedy rather then ruling.
>...Not good enough. I recommend you switch roles before I nom you.
>What's with Lords and classim
>Nom.
>Write In

>>686952
>Oh, you should take up comedy rather then ruling.
actually have him do so, he's your jester from now on.

Can't tell if anons find him funny or not.

>>686952
>Oh, you should take up comedy rather then ruling.


>>686985
Reminds of watching black adder as a kid. Good job QM.

"You should really take up comedy... In fact, I think you'll be my jester!"

"Don't I get a say in this?"

"Do I get a turnip?"

Actions

>Nope!
>Pick them up and put on your back.
>Laugh... Choice? Na.
>Well, how does being enslaved sound?
>I promise great, big turnips.
>If you want.
>Erh, no. It's just a joke.
>Write In

>>687050
>Pick them up and put on your back.
>I promise great, big turnips.

>>687050
>Erh, no. It's just a joke.
>Write In
"I give great benefits though, if you do want the job."

"I promise great big turnips."

You pick them up and begin to put them on your back, but the Lord begins yelling for his guards to help. A single archer accidentally fires an arrow at your hand, doing literally nothing.

Actions

>Oh, right, those guys. Liz, can you take care of them?
>Tell them to stop fooling around or I'll squeeze you like a grape!
>Right... Deal with the guards.
>Fly off.
>Offer them slavery or morning.
>Jester, say a joke to me.
>Write In

>>687074
>Jester, say a joke to me.

"Jester, tell me a joke."

"I'm not your jester!"

"My lord, he did o-"

"Shut up about your damned turnips!"

You can't help but laugh at him claiming he's not your jester..

"Let go of the count at once!" Says one of the guards.

Actions

>Oh come on, fine. I'll let my jester go then.
>Squish the insolent guard.
>Oh, I will. But first I need to enslave all of you. Nothing personal.
>Since I'm in a good mood, I'll let you live.
>Liz, be a dear and squish him.
>...Dangle him?
>Write In

>>687120
>Since I'm in a good mood, I'll let you live.

>>687120
>Since I'm in a good mood, I'll let you live.

"Since I'm in a good mood, I think I'll let you live."

"Ren, can we get to business rather then fraternization?"

"Why?"

"The guards are impatient, husband."

Actions

>...Jester, tell me one more joke please.
>Fine...
>Come on, it's a bit of fun. Put your jester on the ground.
>Come on, you try him out. Tell my wife a joke, and it better be a good one.
>You really should stop being impatient. It's not good for your health.
>Fine, but we're tumbling after this.
>...Fine, back to work then.
>Do you want your own jester then?
>Write In

>>687163
>Come on, you try him out. Tell my wife a joke, and it better be a good one.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if your jester gets her to laugh. Additional +2 if you can give a draconic joke.

Rolled 18 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>687176
It appears you have clawed your way into my domain...let me tell you a tail...about a fangtastic dragon, who would always tip the scales in his favor

You squeeze your jester slightly. Which is probably enough to cause him to stop breathing.

"I recommend you tell my wife a very, very good joke."

"Y-yes... Erh, well..."

"Hurry up please. My wife is growing only more tired."

"W-well, do I have a kicker for you! I have a... Story, yes! A romantic one!"

Elizabeth raises one of her eyes, intrigued.

"Well.. It appears dragoness, that you have clawed your way into my domain... Now, let me tell you a tail... About a fangtastic dragon, who would always tip the scales in his tale..."

You smile, somewhat entertained. Your wife is also entertained.

"If it wasn't for the he at the end, I would think you'd be trying to hit on me."

"...Your a woman?"

"Well, yes. I suppose I'd be rather hard to tell."

"Erh... Well then. Nice to know."

Actions.

>...Jester, one final challenge. I want you to make my wife BURST into laughing.
>...Hold on, ARE you trying to hit on my wife?
>Laugh. You aren't letting him go.
>I always love someone with a witty tongue. And someone who puts themselves first.
>...What should we do with the unintelligent peasant who smells like dung, Elizabeth?
>That's good enough, I suppose.
>Why don't you tell me wife how you got that "woobles" thing.
>Write-In

I just realized I basically made Blackadder a character without realizing. I am extremely pleased by this.

>>687193
>That's good enough, I suppose.
Let's put him down i think we've proven our point.
Just ask if we can settle around here and use the local Peasant.

"Well, that's good enough I suppose then."

You gently put the lord on the ground.

"Now, how would you feel about me setting up... Well, basically a summer home. Oh, and if I borrowed this peasant?"

"Erh, well... As long as you don't use me as a squeeze toy, and try to eat me or anything, I think I'm alright with it."

"Right, well, thank you."

"You can uh, keep the peasant. Please."

"Why?"

"I would of asked for a refund from his hamster of a mother, and if I actually bought him. His family has been indebted to me for centuries."

"I thought it was... How long is a centuary?"

"It's... It's a century, damn it..."

"Oh. What's that mean lord?"

"...It means please go and never come back."

Actions.

>...Erh, keep the peasant. I'd rather... Not.
>...Would you mind if I ask why he smells like dung?
>Well... Elizabeth, how would you feel about civilizing a inbred french serf?
>I'll take care of him, give him lots of turnips, and feed him once in a while.
>...I think you misheard. I intend to set up a refinery here.
>...Do you have any problems with slave labor, by chance?
>Well, sorry about the whole squeeze doll thing. But I greatly enjoy your comedy.
>Would you mind if I enslaved a few peasants?
>...Can you at least consider being a jester?
>Write-In

>>687216
>...I think you misheard. I intend to set up a refinery here.
>Well, sorry about the whole squeeze doll thing. But I greatly enjoy your comedy.

"Well, I think you misheard. I intend to set up a refinery. And sorry about the whole squeeze doll thing, but I do greatly enjoy your comedy."

"Right... Refinery?"

"Oh, you know. For oil."

"Erh... Would you mind if I ask what's with all the terrified peasants on your back?"

"Oh, them?"

Actions.

>It's a little bit of a slavery operation. A little sketchy, but it'll be fine.
>...If you look past the slavery bit, I may be willing to offer you a bribe. And possible friendship with a dragon.
>Oh, they're just some friendly serfs I picked up who have promised to dedicate their lives to me. That sort of thing.
>Just erh... Some workers I found.
>...Question, how large is your jail, and would you be willing to sell any to me?
>...Just saying I'll also be making a summer home. That too.
>Oh, and with my company you WILL be used for comedic purposes while I am around. Understood?
>Write-In

>>687224
>Just erh... Some workers I found.
>...Question, how large is your jail, and would you be willing to sell any to me?
>...Just saying I'll also be making a summer home. That too.
>Oh, and with my company you WILL be used for comedic purposes while I am around. Understood?
Overload his brain

"Well, I found some workers, and yes, I will be making a summer home. And you WILL be used for comedic purposes while I am around, understood?"

"...Well, would I get paid?"

"...Hold on, quick question. Would you be willing to sell any prisoners to me?"

"I suppose... How's twenty in exchange for two sacks of gold?"

"Sacks?"

"Well, about the size of my palm, you see."

"...I suppose..."

"Make that three then."

"What?"

"It was always three. Did I mention these prisoners are extra healthy?"

"Erh... Three though?"

"...Oh, fine my lord. Two sacks and a half. I'm a generous man."

"I think you're bargaining a litt-"

"But hold on my lord... I don't think people would want to mistake you for a beggar! Why not... Two sacks, and three-quarters?"

Actions

>...I think two will suit just fine.
>Dangle him. You'll get them for free.
>Laugh heartily, he makes a fine jester.
>...Well, let it never be known I was a simple beggar! I will gladly give you that in money!
>I think I should give you three, just to show my generosity.
>...One will do.
>...First, why don't I SEE the prisoners first?
>Write-In

>>687278
>>Laugh heartily, he makes a fine jester.

Mane last time I posted in EDQ was when.. Hmm..

Something about The werewolf fang or something set up his computer in his room with his buddy from the ss.

Also been a while in NEQ

>>687278
>Laugh heartily, he makes a fine jester.
>...First, why don't I SEE the prisoners first?
>...One will do.

You laugh quite a bit, heartily in fact.

"You make a fine jester..."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"...Well, maybe. Though It's an awfully high price... Why don't I see them first? Besides, one sack will do."

"My lord, I insist... Three sacks."

"One."

"Well, I recommend three. Otherwise they might not be as healthy. You never know, your fearful visage might cause one or two of them to fall down a stairwell after shooting themselves in the back of the head twice with a bow!"

You laugh a little more.

"I love laughing, you know that? I haven't laughed for a while. Bring me them and we'll talk about money."

"I see."

The lord walks off, and a few minutes later comes out with about forty shackled men.

"All of these are non-essential to society, and under the worst circumstances, highly replaceable. Now, how much are we talking about?"

The prisoners don't seem too healthy... But not too unhealthy either.

Actions.

>I already said, One sack, and that's it.
>Is there a tax I have to pay for building on your lands, prehaps? I'd like to know.
>Well, since I feel nice, two sacks.
>...Two and three-thirds, as agreed upon.
>...Grab them and put them on your back. He knows he can't do anything about it, and he fell for the trap. Though it's a bit mean to do to such a good jester...
>...You feel overjoyed. Three sets.
>One sack. Unless you give me a good comedic show, then two.
>...Liz, what do you think?
>Write-In

>>687316
>One sack. Unless you give me a good comedic show, then two.

"Well, one sack. Unless you care to entertain me..."

The serf in your hand talks.

"I have a cunning plan your lordship!"

"What is it, Bormar?"

"Why don't you ask him for a goat?"

Vismarin sighs.

"How about this, you happen to "squeeze" him a little too hard and I happen to not care because HOW THE HELL WOULD A GOAT HELP?"

Bormar shrugs his shoulders.

"What? I like goats."

"Right. Tell that to the hairy hamster that your mother is, she probably already regrets trying to get in bed with that goat already."

You once again laugh (demonically) heartily, and Elizabeth chuckles a little. You of course, liberate some of the peasants belongings on your back and toss him two sacks.

"Good show... Good show."

"Right, you heard the dragon. Get o-"

You pick up the men and put them on your back, smiling.

"So... Summer home? You wouldn't happen to just be one of those rich fobs who just randomly build it over random sites and never visit except to pay your taxes, would you?"

Actions

>Eh... My brother rules Mousilion. So I'll be around once in a while.
>At this rate, I may never leave!
>Well, I'm sure this summer home will be huge, great, and surely not a disappointment to me... And by extension your family members, for missing another one of their kin.
>Taxes? Scoff and laugh.
>Well, I hope you enjoy having me as your sovereign... Well, technically my brother... But me too.
>Could you give me a little dance and jig? I want to see how far your willing to go for coin.
>...Well, I suppose I'll pay some taxes. That seems good form to the man who'll protect my house while I'm away...
>Write-in

>>687345
>Eh... My brother rules Mousilion. So I'll be around once in a while.

"Well, my brother rules Mousilion. So I'll be around once in a while."

"R-right... Well, I erh... I see."

Actions.

>Could you give me a little dance and jig before I leave?
>...Why don't we discuss payment and services as a jester?
>Excuse me... But did you mention something regarding taxes?
>Liz, anything you want to say before we go?
>Would you mind if me and my wife... Frolicked a bit in town? You know, raze it, loot it, that sort of thing?
>Write-In

Just archived Werewolf Reich 2 anons.

>>687481
>Liz, anything you want to say before we go?

>>687527
>Return of the edgelords
If I may ask, why did you put the option to eat that one guy to begin with if edgefags are such a problem in NEQ/WRQ.

>>687535
Because shit tends to escalate REAL FUCKING FAST when it comes to this shit, and the general ruling behind wanting to eat someone was... It was complete and utter fucking horseshit why in my opinion.
Then again, I am a moralfag. And the reason why I put it in is so anons had a choice. I might not like that choice at fucking all, but I give anons a choice.

Also, I thought the title was funny since I was reminded of Star Wars.

"Well, Liz... Anything you want to say before we go?"

"Hm... Well, not really. Thank you for your time, lord."

"Right... Please don't come back soon."

You nod your head and ascend back into the skies with Elizabeth.

"That went better then expected."

"Well, yes."

"...Well, I think I have barely enough... And I'm starting to get tired."

"...Same."

"Right, right."

"...Can I just say something to you?"

"What?"

"I... Well, I missed being with you, alright? You know that, I hope."

Actions.

>You've been rather blunt recently. But yes, yes I do.
>...What brought this on?
>I love you too, Elizabeth.
>...Kiss? Kiss.
>Come on, we can rest for a little bit. Our slaves aren't going anywhere.
>Come on, we only need to get a hundred more...
>I know you do. And I wish I could spend more time with you. It's fun being with you.
>You know, you've been... In my opinion, acting bitchy recently.
>Write-In

>>687549
>I love you too, Elizabeth.
>...Kiss? Kiss.
>You've been rather blunt recently. But yes, yes I do.

>>687549
>I love you too, Elizabeth.
>...Kiss? Kiss.
*Romantic music with saxophone in it starts playing*

"You know, I love you too Elizabeth. You've been rather blunt... Bu-" You interrupt what your saying with a sudden kiss, and for a few seconds the two of you start making out. You must admit, her breath is minty fresh. Probably since she can breathe ice... After a little bit she slightly pushes your head off of her.

"...Let's uh, save this for when we get back. No need to drop our slaves or crash into something. I think there's children with them, anyways..." She seems to be blushing slightly. It's rather easy to tell thanks to the white scales.

Actions.

>...Come on, I think we can get a little... More extreme then that. Besides, who cares if we traumatize a few peasants or drop a few?
>I assume venting your rage by flicking knights helped the mood?
>...Ignore her and kiss her.
>...Fine, if you want competition when we get back.
>What? I wasn't trying to tumble you or anything.
>Fine by me, Elizabeth... Fine by me.
>...Would you protest to me getting the other wives together? You know, Frankizka and... Well, maybe Chrysoula?
>Write-In

>>687585
>...Come on, I think we can get a little... More extreme then that. Besides, who cares if we traumatize a few peasants or drop a few?
If anything we're teaching the young ones about nature and how the world works.

Also what our status with Frankizka now? What does Elizabeth think about our multiple wives now?

I'd recommend you ask them, just saying.

"Well... Come on. I think we can get a little more... Extreme the nthat. Besides, who cares if we traumatize a few peasants or drop a few? besides... We're teaching the young ones how nature works, right?"

"That's why I love you, not afraid to do anything, are you?"

"Nope!"

The two of you begin passionately making out mid-flight. Roll me a 2d20+10 for tumbling skills. Second roll is to see if you can keep the peasants on.

Rolled 8, 20 + 10 = 38 (2d20 + 10)

>>687632
Dis gun be gud

Samefagging allowed anons.

Rolled 20, 13 + 10 = 43 (2d20 + 10)

>>687647
At worst it'll just be a boring sex experience. All the slaves are secured.

Double Critical Successes!

None of the slaves notice anything, and seem to be very secure while you possibly give Elizabeth the best tumbling you ever gave her. If any peasant actually looked up, they'd probably be traumitized for life.

Either way, by the time you arrive at the ducal palace (and therefor traumatizing a few thousand peasants underneath you), you unload your slaves and quickly fly off for the swamp, where you spend practically the rest of the night doing... Well, debauchery in your various forms.

Eventually, the two of you are UTTERLY exhausted, and are in your human forms, luckily enough... And in the middle of a swamp, which is probably verified as a "biological contamination zone" in and out of itself.

The two of you hug together, both exhausted and tired after a long day, and you think you might of immensely satisfied your wife.

"So... On a scale of one to ten, how heavenly was that?"

"...Twelve."

"Huh, a new record."

She gives you a kiss on the check.

"Isn't that surprising?"

"No... Not it isn't."

The two of you go back to making out, and after a little bit collapse...

After a little bit you wake up, your wife lovingly caressing you.

"...How long have you been up?"

"Four minutes, I think... God, that was great."

"It was... Now, how about going back to Richard's place?"

"...Sure."

Actions.

>...I see your in a much, much better mood. Glad to be of service.
>...You know, I think we should do some more rather... Heavy tumbling. What do you say? (Charisma, HARD)
>You know, why don't we try a little bit more back at the palace? It'd be a lot better then on the ground.
>...We still have to get a hundred more slaves, I believe... So let's finish that up, alright?
>God, I love you.
>Write-In

>>687698
>...I see your in a much, much better mood. Glad to be of service.
>God, I love you.

"Well, I see your in a much, much better mode. God, I love you."

"I do too... Now... What's the first state of affairs?"

"Right, right... I still have to get a hundred slaves, though that's trivial... Or you know, I could do something else a little more fun."

"...Like?"

"Well, stay and carouse sounds mighty pleasing... Especially with you."

"...It does indeed... But I think we should at least finish that whole slavery thing up first, don't you think?"

Actions.

>Well, I suppose your right.
>Come on, let's do something... Exciting.
>...Well... I suppose I should take a break from work. Maybe I could get you to get along with Frankizka? Or Chrysoula?
>...Well... I'm sort of interested in exploring a little. Visiting the Empire... That sort of thing.
>Maybe I should do my brother a favor. As in win this war for Bretonnia...
>...Who said we were leaving this place without another tumble? (Charisma)
>...Just curious... Why didn't you eat anyone when we raided?
>...Welcome to being a dragon... And to think, you'll have me for all of... Well, however long a dragon lives.
>Write-in

>>687761
>Well, I suppose your right.

"Right, right..."

"Anyways... Want me to return to the Ducal Palace?"

"Why?"

"I'd rather stay with you... But I'm alright if you want to be alone doing something."

Actions

>...Come on, why would I choose anyone else?
>Come on... More slaves, more loot. Let's get flying already.
>...I think we should change it up a little. You know, target a different race?
>Maybe we should bring Chrysoula or Frankizka along? It could be fun.
>...Flames, want to bring anyone along?
>...I wonder if I could get my brother into slavery... It's rather fun with family and friends.
>...How about a quick tumble and we go? (Charisma)
>Write-In

>>687818
>...I think we should change it up a little. You know, target a different race?
Maybe Estalia

>>687849
This.

"Well, I was thinking about changing it up a little. Let's target... Estalia. I think I remember Frankizka mention it."

"Right... Well, let's get going."

The two of you begin flying to Estalia...

Roll me a 1d20 for what sort of town you find and how wealthy/prosperous it is.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>687870

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>687870
Estalia is based off of medieval Italy so it should be richer then it's French, Bretonnia, counterpart overall.

Allowing for one more samfag roll.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>687870

Rolled 19 (1d20)

Let's see if my luck lasts

12

Success!

You find a... Well, somewhat poor town next to what seems to be a marsh. The town seems very independent due to a plethora of national flags, and other such things...

Actions.

>...Move on, this town isn't worth it.
>...Strike a city, rather then a town.
>No one is going to miss this village. Land with your wife outside of it.
>You know, your wife did enjoy doing this last time... Maybe you should let her do it again while you fly above overhead? (Switch PoV to Elizabeth)
>...You haven't eaten breakfast yet. Well, might as well get started... Besides, there's probably better slaves to find elsewhere.
>Write-In

>>687922
>No one is going to miss this village. Land with your wife outside of it.

You land outside of the village with your wife, which startles some of the villagers, who begin to rush towards the center of the town... You even hear a bell of a church ring.

Huh. Well, they're certainly used to sudden attacks. Or are prepared for it.

Actions.

>Evil laugh, and demand their surrender! (Intimidation, HARD)
>Come on now, you only want to talk!
>...Well, that church is a nuisance. Take care of it.
>Well, might as well start a fire to send the populace into a terrified panic.
>...You know, summon Smaug to help. Why not? He barely gets any time outside... (Summoning)
>Write-In

>>687969
>Evil laugh, and demand their surrender! (Intimidation, HARD)
If we managed to abduct everyone here and turn it into a ghost town just by laughing then that would be quite a feat.

Roll me a 1d20+8. Additional +2 if you can anything terrifying to the populace, give them a deal, or otherwise bring up a good point why they should be slaves rather then freemen.

Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>687994
I'll protect you from those furry rat-fucks called Skaven.

Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

Here's another roll

9+10=19

Borderline Failure!

You land on the ground with a thud, alongside your wife... The village pauses in a brief fear before you hear a... Drum beat?

In the middle of the town, a small band of militia, about two-hundred and fifty men, waving a flag with a woman on it, marches to a drum. It's clear they're terrified, and armed with rudimentary flintlock rifles. A rather elderly man with a saber yells something in... A mix of Italian and Spanish. Which of course, both of which you know. What it comes out as is a rudimentary "Prepare to take aim!"

"Put down your weapons, and I'll protect you from those furry fucktards called the Skaven!"

It seems a few understand you, and are already wavering, save the lone elderly officer... A bullet skips off the scale by your eye, and you see a small handful of women taking aim at it.
It seems this village won't go without a fight. A futile fight, but a fight nonetheless. The elderly officer seems to turn to his men, energetic and seemingly... Well, zealous. And probably about to give a speech.

Actions.

>...Well, what's a little bit of stomping on a milita? That's just a everyday fact! (Strength)
>Who shot that? It isn't nice to blind a dragon!
>...Maybe you should try appealing to them? (Charisma)
>Oh man, the past fourty hours have been nothing but laughs... Italians? Fighting?
>...Flames, would you please set fire to the settlement?
>Liz, want to deal with this?
>They're already wavering... Try to terrify them further! (Intimidation, HARD)
>Overhear his speech. Maybe you can hear some vital battleplans? And it is honorable, after all.
>...Call for a parley, if that's a thing?
>Sneakily pluck the officer and grab him. (Agility, HARD)
>This isn't worth it... Go to another town. Besides, these slaves would likely rebel anyways...
>Write-In

>>688085
>...Maybe you should try appealing to them? (Charisma)
They will want to be our slaves

Roll me a 1d20+5, additional +2 for any good appeals for why they should become your slaves.

Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>688115

Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>688115
Along with protecting you from Skaven and other horrors that inhabit this world, I will offer shelter and subsistence to you simply for but a modest price.

Critical Failure!

"Come o-"

The captain loudly interrupts you.

"Men, you know me, and you can see the enemy clearly, and that's all we need to know! We have a duty and we will do it well! Fire at my command!"

"Can we-"

"FIRE!"

A thunderous amount of gunfire impacts around you, barely penetrating your scales. It's feeble, but could add up easily.

"Can you let me talk?"

"Get out of our country! FIRE!"

Another volley hits you. Great... You'll be here all day at this rate.

"Listen, I'll protect you from the Skaven and other horrors that inhabit this world. Shelter, and subsistence for but a modest price..."

"We are not sheep! We are Estalians, and we die like Estalians! Free and in Myrmidia's tits! Now, take aim!"

"Please, your bullets can't do anything against me. I'll just wait until you run out of ammo."

A third volley hits you... This time, you realize that it's actually been PENETRATING your scales.
Huh.
It's not much damage, but you think that their muskets have a high enough caliber (or the bullets are blunt enough) to shatter a handful of your scales. And a handful of women hiding in houses fire towards your eye, one hitting and stinging you, slightly.

HP: 18,000
Current: 17,500

"Ren, I think it's just best we move on."

"Hell no..."

"I don't want a squished town on my conscious, and I'd rather not have rebellious slaves."

Actions.

>...Good point. We should just move on.
>...I think I have an idea. Let me challenge their "captain" to a duel.
>Keep trying to appeal to them. (Charisma, HARD)
>...Well, I think we need to take care of the captain, first. He seems to be the leader.
>...Can't we just squish the mortals? That always cheers me up. (Strength)
>Hold on, nom them. (Strength)
>...Hold on. Let me just set their town on fire so their women come out of hiding.
>...That's it. No more mister nice Dragon. Take eyepatch and make Khorne proud.
>Oh hey, this tickles. You should try some.
>...Hold on, let me just roar a little. (Intimidation, HARD)
>...Oh no Liz, I'm dying! Give me one final kiss!
>You have to admit, they are rather brave.
>Write-In

>>688226
>Keep trying to appeal to them. (Charisma, HARD)
Let us be civil in this process of enslavement

"Come on, I can get through to them."

"How?"

"You'll see..."

Roll me a 1d20+5, and an additional +2 if you can give an example on why slavery is good for a slave. (Doesn't matter if made up or not).

Rolled 9 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>688264

Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>688264
I'll give you free good-quality pasta everyday

Rolled 7 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

Free food and housing, also no taxes.

Hey QM!

9+5=14

Good Failure!

"Come on, I'll give you pasta every day. It'll be... Decent!"

A few more bullets impact against you in retaliation.

"Tempting, but no! Now get out of my country!"

"Not until you become my slave."

"Never! Just go away!"

"Please?"

"Go before I shoot you a fifth time!"

"Did I mention free food and housing? And no taxes?"

You get a bullet inbetween the eyes from a pistol. Presumably from the captain. It does little then tickle.

"Ren, they're fighting to the death here. We basically have nothing to gain but getting blood on our feet."

"Come on... Jesus, I'm getting through to them."

"No, you aren't. You're just agitating them further."

HP: 18,000
Current: 17,250 HP

Actions.

>Fine then... Well, off we go.
>Can we just destroy this village then?
>We can take the women and children as slaves, don't worry. We don't need the men.
>...Well, time to back to threatening them. (Intimidation, HARD)
>Fine... We'll just squish the militia.
>Appeals to living conditions aren't working... What about lies? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>That's it, I'm eating them all.
>Flames, just set the town on fire already, god...
>Hang on, let me just grab the captain... (Agility, HARD)
>This isn't as fun if they aren't running from you.
>...Well, fine then. You'll give them a list of demands, money, women, and butter. And slaves.
>Try to grab the militia! (Strength, HARD)

>>688319
>...Well, time to back to threatening them. (Intimidation, HARD)

Roll me a 1d20+8

Additional +2 for good threats against them, their women, or anything really.

Rolled 18 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>688353
i have been nothing but reasonable during this entire transaction. Refuse one more time and I'll burn this entire village, destroy all of your livelihoods and take you women.

18+10=28

Good Success!

You sigh, frustrated. And generally annoyed.

"I have been NOTHING but reasonable during this entire transaction. Refuse one more time, and I'll burn this entire village, destroy all of your livelihoods, and take your women."

"He's serious, you know.

The militia seems to somewhat dissolute.

"Men? We can take him!"

"Sir... He'd burn this village down... And I'd rather not have my daughter touched without consent."

"Then kill her! We're Estalians! It is better to live free for one day then slaves for a hundred years!"

The militia seems to begin to break apart, enough where you move closer and lower your head.

"I highly recommend you all surrender and become my slaves."

"What? Never!" Yells the officer. The rest of his men though, throw down their weapons.

"Cowards!"

"Sir... With all due respect, I want my family to be intact."

At this point the officer is furious.

"You'd give up your freedom?! What's wrong with today's youth! You're a bunch of sick-nose pansies!"

"So, will you be leaving here with us?"

He spits on your mouth.

"Go shag a tree, you fuck! I'll stay here and die in my homeland then waste away in some mine!"

The rest of the men cautiously move back away from them.

Actions.

>...What is your name anyways?
>Burn him alive. Enough said.
>Nom.
>Step on him. On accident, of course.
>...Just saying you'd have to give your women over to me anyways. And I am rather fertile... And my wife loves it when I lay with other people with her...
>I respect that officer. You'll be staying here, I suppose.
>...The chances are is that you'll die of starvation or the Skaven will get you... That's a rather bad alternative.
>I agree with the officer. Your all a bunch of pansies.
>Officer, I'll give you ten seconds to grovel in mercy, or else.
>...Did you just spit on me?
>Write-In

>>688404
>...Did you just spit on me?
>Nom.

"Did you just... Spit on me?"

"I did!"

You tower over him, but the officer remains his cool. He also shoots you in the eye again.

"For Estalia!" are his final words before you bite down on him, and swallow. Unlike most men, you don't hear screaming of their skin melting from the acidic saliva or their soul being ripped from their body. Rather, you hear slashing at your mouth, and another gunshot... And it seems the captain is remarkably hanging onto one of your teeth!

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can swallow. Or optionally just spit him out and let him just dissolve in a pool of acidic saliva.

Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>688433
I think we should just swallow and dissolve him in our stomach. Melting him in front of the whole town might be bad for our public image

4+4=8

Failure!

Somehow, the captain actually GETS OUT of your mouth, hacking and slashing. He's badly burned, his uniform in tatters, and a dead look in his eye... He slumps out and falls out directly infront of you. His breath is heavy and measured..

Actions.

>...Maybe he'll just die from exhaustion.
>Nom.
>...That's it, you're going to sacrifice this tough bastard to Khorne. He'd like his soul... And maybe he'll get you something cool.
>Crush him. He's earned at least that much.
>...Liz, why don't you take him as a slave?
>...He's weakened enough to be taken as a slave. Grab him.
>...You know, why not force him into slavery and make his master Chrysoula? Or if you feel like it, Frankizka?
>...Set him on fire.
>....You know what? You'll just leave him here. Let the skaven and zombies get him..
>You have an idea... Order a militman to kill him, and you'll resurrect him as undead... So you can eat him or something ironic.
>Laugh, he could barely get out of your mouth, how stupid is he?
>Write-In

>>688516
>Crush him. He's earned at least that much.

You crush the captain, who mutters a few words before death. You don't hear it, but it seems to be a sort of song. He of course is ground into a bloody stain on your hand which you wipe offf. You turn to your enslaved two-hundred and fifty slaves...

Actions.

>...Due to the price of insolence of your captain, some of you are going to have to volunteer for nomming...
>...All of you, bring me your womenfolk. I feel ecstatic.
>Liz, a kiss for getting even more slaves, if you will?
>All of you, bring me breakfast. As YOUR breakfasts.
>...If all of you serve me well, you will not end up like the captain.
>Everyone, get on my back.
>Write-In

>>688586
>...If all of you serve me well, you will not end up like the captain.
>Everyone, get on my back.
Damn shame that the captain died. He seemed pretty okay.

>>688586
>...If all of you serve me well, you will not end up like the captain.
>Everyone, get on my back.

Sorry anons but I just woke up... And now I'm falling back asleep.

"If any of you try anything, you'll end up like him, understand?"

They nod along as they get on your back... And their children and wives.

You take flight once again with liz. Hell yeah.

"Ren? Would you care if I asked a question?" She seems rather polite now. Huh.

Actions

>What is it?
>Kiss. Then talk.
>Sure!
>Only if we tumble a bit afterwards.
>Sorry, but no.
>Write In

>>688939
>What is it?
>Kiss. Then talk.

>>688939
>What is it?
>Kiss. Then talk.
>Sure!

God, I just fucking took a heavenly nap.

"Well, what is it?"

You give her a kiss and the two of you... Well, make out. And the two of you are passionate enough that it nearly go back to tumbling. Just so close... She does comment that she'd at least like a single day of rest...

"Well... Not to be judging, but why exactly are we enslaving women and children?"

"Is this because you had them and your a mother?"

"Well, speaking from a more practical point of view... And also from mine, I suppose."

Actions.

>Well, I enslave women and children because I'm egalitarian.
>You have to start young, Elizabeth. Otherwise they start formulating ideas of escape!
>...Well, the women make good fodder for those lonely nights at the least...
>...Good point. Maybe we should set them down somewhere.
>I don't really think of them as "slaves"... Think more of unpaid interns.
>Write-In

>>689874
>I don't really think of them as "slaves"... Think more of unpaid interns.
this is probably the most true answer anyhow, if we succeed they'll get reputation and maybe a place in our society.

"Come on, I don't really think of them as slaves. Think unpaid interns."

"I see."

"Yeah..."

"That doesn't answer the question too much."

"...I thought it was a good answer."

"Let's just agree it's alright because you aren't crazy and going to skin them alive or something?"

"I'd never do that."

"Oh, I know you wouldn't."

"Right."

"Now... We have about three-hundred slaves. Or at least, you do. I have just twenty."

Actions.

>Well, twenty seems good enough for you.
>I just need two-hundred. You can have a hundred of my slaves, Elizabeth.
>...How many slaves should I give Chrysoula?
>You know, we should try to get Frankizka to have a slave or two... It's rather fun.
>Right... Well, I'd like more... I always love having more slaves.
>Well, I need to make a refinery... I'll be right back.
>Just curious, what do you use your slaves for?
>Write-In

>>689902
>Just curious, what do you use your slaves for?
>Well, I need to make a refinery... I'll be right back.

"Well, I need to make a refinery, so I'll be right back... But just curious, what do you use your slaves for?"

"Well, mostly for what a servant does. But for a few jobs which not even a servant would do."

"I see..."

"But this is unimportant. I'll wait for you at the Ducal Palace, alright?" She gives you a kiss, and begins to fly off...

You start constructing a refinery not too far away from the town which your jester resides in...

Roll me a 1d20+5 for how well this is constructed. Samefagging allowed.

Anons?

Final bump.

Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>689932

Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>689932
It's gonna be huge.

16+5=21

Good Success!

The refinery after a few hours is constructed, complete with a crude pump to oil, and in addition a small barracks for the slaves... It's rudimentary, and you set up some silos (thanks to being able to weld metal with your breath), and finally decide to set up how this should work...

Actions.

>Make it mostly automated, mostly just requiring slaves to make sure it runs. It will produce a low amount of oil, and will require plenty of maintenance. However, this doesn't require educated workers.
>Semi-Automated, some things are automated but most things have to be done by slaves... Uneducated workers can get into minor accidents but you get a moderate amount of oil, and requires a mix of educated and uneducated workers.
>Manual: You get plenty of oil, but this requires a large amount of educated workers and uneducated workers can cause... Well, rather unfortunate mistakes and possible fatalities if left alone.

Elizabeth has twenty semi-educated slaves, being knights, and you have three-hundred slaves who are uneducated.

>>690093
>Semi-Automated, some things are automated but most things have to be done by slaves... Uneducated workers can get into minor accidents but you get a moderate amount of oil, and requires a mix of educated and uneducated workers.
Let's make it semi-automated.
We might want to hit up another refinery in to steal their worker.
Also if while we're at it stealing engineers might be fun to actually decide to design stuff that may be useful.

You begin setting up some gears and measurements for the silo, and you turn to the barracks and begin furnishing it... Now of course you realize you won't exactly be here twenty-four seven...

What to do to keep the slaves from escaping?

Actions

>...Well, nothing really. If they go out that's their problem.
>Build a wall at least around the refinery.
>...Necromancy? Necromancy.
>Mercenaries come to mind, really.
>The local jester-lord could be useful in protecting your land.
>...This is simple. You'll make one of your slaves a bookkeeper in charge of managing the refinery's budget and where the slaves are. And if one goes missing, you'll know who. And who to blame.
>Offer to make the knights guards and granted limited freedom.
>Maybe you can set up... Booby traps?
>Maybe set up a very... Very harsh ruleset. Such as if a slave escapes you eat his family. Or something like that.
>If you take care of your slaves well, they won't want to escape. Maybe instead of a simple barracks you'll construct a town? How hard could it be? They won't even REMEMBER that you forcibly kidnapped them and threatened to eat them and their family.
>Write-in

>>690107
>...Necromancy? Necromancy.

>>690107
>Build a wall at least around the refinery.
>Offer to make the knights guards and granted limited freedom.
>...This is simple. You'll make one of your slaves a bookkeeper in charge of managing the refinery's budget and where the slaves are. And if one goes missing, you'll know who. And who to blame.
let's do like every other factory

Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Necromancy
2=Build wall, etc

You turn your mind towards necromancy... You aren't precisely the BEST necromancer, but you have a few ideas.

Actions.

>...Get Frankizka to summon undead. She's good at it.
>A few zombies are good enough. Just bind them outside the walls...
>How about sentient skeletons? They're unbound and will have to be convinced though.
>Just summon some unintelligent skeletons and bound them around the walls.
>...Ask to kill a few of Liz's knights and make them into Blackguards... Of course they'll have to agree to serve you.
>You aren't a "necromancer". Nevermind this.
>...Reminder when you get back to make some government factories to use all those slaves you have.
>Write-In

>>690144
>...Get Frankizka to summon undead. She's good at it.