[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
Board:  
Settings   Home
4chan
/qst/ - Quests


File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
Oh shit nigger(s) it's the aftermath of Civ Thing and all the tribes who inhabitited the nondescript generic fantasy land has all been enslaved by The Kingdom ruling the aforementioned nondescript generic fantasy land.
Now they must either accept their fate or break out and free their own tribe. Other tribes optional.

Your current protagonist is a Barbarian of the Barbarian Tribe. Kept in the arena to fight for the entertainment of The Kingdom.

Currently you're in your cell waiting for the next battle, and you just learned your former chief has converted to the Kingdoms religion and joined their side, what do you do?

Roll 1d100, who gets the highest number is the picked action.

Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>652414
get pumped for the fight
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>652414
Punch self in face
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>652414
Think to yourself how much you hate your fellow tribesmen converting
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>652424
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>652414
Wait, where's the beard?
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>652436
get so hyped that you punch yourself in the face
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>652436
Beat on your chest like the hairy gorilla you are.
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>652436
Punch yourself in the face
>>
>>652439
Beards are an entirely personal fashion choice
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>652441
Ah yes, the barbarian tradition
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>652453
Grow a beard, like a proper barbarian.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>652453
Ask a nearby by gaurd when we're fighting
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>652453
Now let's select our equipment for the fight
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>652453
Out of sheer excitement and willpower, push a beard out through your many potent beard follicles.
>>
File: 1.png (5 KB, 500x500)
5 KB
5 KB PNG
>>652459
"10 minutes"
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>652473
Oh shit we gotta select equipment fast
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>652473
>>652463
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>652473
Let's find what weapons to use
>>
>>652481
horry sheit these are sum gud rolls
(Spoiler)We won't get them when we need them(/Spoiler)
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>652481
"Alright, want to be well prepared eh? Come on, let's go to the pre-fight armory"
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>652500
Lick the guard
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>652500
Follow him while you think about how your the only pure barbarian left since everyone else has converted.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>652500
Grow a beard while walking.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>652500
Try to gather info about the enemy
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
6 KB PNG
>>652509
poof
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>652525
Lick your beard
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>652525
Ask the guard what he thinks of our beard
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>652525
Oh shit time to pick weapons
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>652525
Find some suitably barbarian weapons in the armory.
>>
>>652414
oh shit, I'm probably gonna pass out in 4 hours but oh yeah time for Salt Adventures
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>652528
"Oh hey, new beard. Nice. That looks good on you"
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>652546
Go through the doorway
>>
>>652546
>>652534
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>652546
Seduce the guard with your beard
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>652546
Wait a minute, why are you so nice when the other guards are dicks
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>652553
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>652546

Get us pair of skull gloves for punching.
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>652550
"Alright, so over there are the bladed weapons, swords, knives and such. Over there are the polearms like spears and tridents. Over there are the shields, right next to the armor rack. And At that corner are the fist weapons like spiked gauntlets and skulls and whatnot"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>652583
Dual wield shields. Become THE WALL.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>652583
Get a trident
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>652583
You need no weapons
Ask the guard for some ink some you can mash up some bone meal and mix it with ink for tribal paint
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>652587
>>652583
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>652583
Equip spike gauntlets.
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>652587
pdoink
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>652614
Go to the arena, size up your opponent
>>
>>652614
Clank your shields together and yell and deafening roar. You are ready.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>652614

Dash for the arena! You want BLOOD!!!!
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>652624
>>
Oh shit. I am late.

Goddamn
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>652622
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. FOR TODAY'S OPENING ACT, WE HAVE A FIGHT BETWEEN A LIZARDMAN! CAPTURED FROM THE DEEP SOUTHERN JUNGLES AND A BARBARIAN! CAPTURED FROM THE SAVAGE LANDS RIGHT NEXT DOOR!"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>652650
Seduce the lizardman.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>652650
Fucking go back and get a sword or something. Shits too extreme yo.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>652650
We try to intimidate him by punching ourselves in the face
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>652650

Ask the lizardman if they worship cats.
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>652655
No effect
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>652665
Wrestle with him while having a freindly conversation
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>652665
Walk towards him menacingly, knowing there is NO WAY he can get pass our unbeatable defense.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>652665
Welp, feed it our fists.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>652665
do a good and seductive pose
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>652665
Lick the lizardman
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>652665
Notice his lack of sheild. Offer him a sheild for his weapon.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>652665
Cower in fear
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>652665
Await for him to strike, then send the weapon flying it with that buckler.
THE WALL WITHSTANDS EVERYTHING
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>652669

This
>>652669

But with oils.
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
13 KB
13 KB PNG
>>652669
The lizardman swiftly slinks pass your grapple
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>652686
Wait for it to strike, then parry his spear and send it flying away with our buckler
>>
>>652686
Turtle in sheild fort until lizard tired himself out.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>652686
wheel around and smash him with a double shield bash
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>652686
>>652689
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>652686
call him a faggot and tell him to fite you up close and personal like a man
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>652686
"how are the guards treating you"
Throw rock at him
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>652686
Turn around and wait for him to attack, so you can knock his spear out of his hands.
>>
File: 1.png (14 KB, 500x500)
14 KB
14 KB PNG
>>652699
"Oh it dependsss. Sssome are niccce while othersss are...not. A mixxsssed bag"
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>652717
Goad him to attacking you
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>652717
He seems nice, throw the match and become friends with him
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>652717
Captain America shield throw!
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>652717
>>652689
I don't have any creativity, gonna try again
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>652717
Wait for him to attack and then disarm with a shield bash after he swings his spear.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>652717
befriend him using your winning personality
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>652717
Goad him into attacking and parry
"Yeah kings a dick tho"
>>
File: 1.png (15 KB, 500x500)
15 KB
15 KB PNG
>>652730
You guarded his spear and gave him a mighty bash, but it wasn't enough to disarm him yet
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>652750
Kick him in the crotch
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>652750
We need a name, lets call ourselves Canon Solidhat from now on
also ask if lizard wants to be friends
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>652750
Keep on the pressure, he have trouble spearing you if you're in his face.
>>
>>652750
arm bar while he's disoriented
"Kings a dick tho"
>>
>>652767
Eeeeyyyy
>>
File: 1.png (17 KB, 500x500)
17 KB
17 KB PNG
>>652767
"Nah, I'm good" as he throws you away with his tail
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>652792
Get back up and charge towards him with your shields
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>652792
Wait for him to strike, then catch his arm between our shields and crush it
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>652792
Put up your defenses and wait again. Once he strikes, if you successfully bash him keep on the pressure till he drops.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>652792
Trap into his tail and start spinning him
"I have a idea,want to start a workers union"
>>
>>652802
Grap*
How the fuck did I fuck up this bad
>>
File: 1.png (15 KB, 500x500)
15 KB
15 KB PNG
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>652795
Charging at Lizardman, roll 2d100. Second number just needs to be higher than what I rolled
>>
Rolled 64, 97 = 161 (2d100)

>>652816
We dead
>>
>>652821
Saved
>>
Rolled 85, 9 = 94 (2d100)

>>652816
This is why dice God is still more powerful then Brock
>>
>>652821

I think we are good enough...
>>
>>652821
>>652827
HAH! Thanks Dice God, you made me want to die.
>>
>>652821
NOBODY FREAKING ROLL

>>652827
anon why.
>>
Rolled 64, 94 = 158 (2d100)

>>652816
double nat 100 incoming
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>652827
God dammit.
>>652816
>>
>>652821
>15:42:50
>>652827
>15:43:51
Over a minute after first post
Doesn't count
>>
>>652835
I fucking hate barbarians
>>
>>652827
Dice God is probably hiding his secret bunker fucking with the timeline for shits and giggles
>>
>>652843
Ayo das true.
PRAISE TIME GOD
>>
>>652849
But Mc herbalist
DICE GOD IS TIME GOD
>>
File: 1.png (16 KB, 500x500)
16 KB
16 KB PNG
>>652821
Good slam
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>652866
Beat the shit out of him
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>652866
Slam him again, kick away his spear if he lets up.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>652857
Ayo, MC Herbalist is spelled with a capital "C", like "Dice god is a 'C'uck", you feel me?
>>652866
Crush him between our shields!
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>652866
Put him into armbar
"how about a union for us gladiators?"
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>652866
"Come on and SLAM! And welcome to the JAM!"
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>652866
COME ON AND SLAM
AND WELCOME TO THE JAM
HEY YOU WHATCHA GONNA DO
HEY YOU WHATCHA GONNA DO
>>
Holy shit! I saved it! Hooray being irresponsible!
>>
File: 1.png (22 KB, 500x500)
22 KB
22 KB PNG
>>652870
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>652897
A winner is you.

Poak bun is prize for you stinky westerner
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>652897
NOW STOP!
HAMMER TIME!
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>652897
Beat him so hard he dies. But not the head. We can keep his skull as a exotic trophy.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>652897
>>652882
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>652897
UNIONS
YOU WANT ONE?
Break his legs so he can't get away
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>652897
Now lick him. Assert dominance.
>>
File: 1.png (18 KB, 500x500)
18 KB
18 KB PNG
>>652906
Well okay, Hammer Blow
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>652930
he ded
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>652930
did we win?
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>652930
Get him into a headlock between our shields
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>652930
Kill him
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>652940
What head
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>652957
We showboat after our victory
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>652957
never forget the lizard guy
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>652957
Oh, no skull? Well, let's take its spear as a trophy, and make it into a wooden crown.
We're the king of the arena.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>652957
Proclaim victory and ask if we can go inside
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>652957
Cry because we killed our only friend
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>652964
R.I.P Lizard Guy

Never Forget

#lizardguy
#riplizardguy
#neverforgetlizardguy10XX
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>652989
okay forget lizard guy lets get our next opponent
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>652989
>>652965
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>652989

Turn lizard guy skins into cape.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>652989
Consume it's flesh
>>
>>652989
Obtain perks
Fights for friends
In loving memory of lizard man
Freindly
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>653006
Oops
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>652994
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE OUR WINNER! THE BARBARIAN HAS TRIUMPHED AGAINST THE LIZARDMAN! LET US HOPE FOR HIS CONTINUED SUCCESS. NOW, BARBARIAN, LEAVE THE FIELD SO WE CAN CLEAN UP AND GET READY FOR THE NEXT FIGHT"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>653030
Do as he says. Leave the field and clean up
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>653030
pick up a trophy from the lizard man before you go
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>653030
Leave the field, but take the corpse with you.
Free materials for weapons and armor.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>653030
Leave the field but thru the wrong exit.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>653030

We can't wait, so we do the cleaning job ourself but FAST!
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>653030
Leave the felid
Talk to guard
Get called a wuss by fellow barb
Fight start
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>653040
Which part? His shoulderpads? His hide? His spear? Or just the entire corpse?
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>653070
His hide.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>653070
his genitals, obviously
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>653070
EVERYTHING!
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>653070
his hide
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>653070
His tail, wear it like a scarf.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>653070
his skull
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
6 KB PNG
>>653077
YOU GOT:
Lizardman Hide (minus head)
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>653096
Let's go back inside
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>653096
Drape it around our shoulders and strike a pose. Then leave quickly, wouldn't want to get killed by the guards for staying too long
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>653096
lets head back and set up our sick new rug
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>653096
Lick it thoroughly. Got to keep it clean, you know.
>>
File: 1.png (40 KB, 500x500)
40 KB
40 KB PNG
>>653105
Your cell is comfier already
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>653121
we must slaughter more people in the arena to make a comfier home
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>653121
Knock self unconscious on bed - have nice dream
>>
>>653124
my rolls are getting a bit out of hand ima stop posting for a bit
unless someone can beat this
>>
File: 1.png (41 KB, 500x500)
41 KB
41 KB PNG
>>653124
Sounds like a plan i guess
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>653130

Check up with your neighbor.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>653130
Take a look of the next fighter.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>653130
Punch yourself in the face and take a nap.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>653130
Like >>653134, but with more squats.
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>653135
Oh hey, it's another barbarian fighting next. You went to that guy's wedding
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>653148
wait, I thought Barbarians produced asexually thru skull offerings?
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>653148
Ask what he worships or believes. Is he a Brockian or paladin guy.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>653148
who'd he get married to?
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>653148
Rile your foe up by pretending you betrayed your tribe and converted
>>
>>653157
Come to think of it I don't remember ever seeing a female barbarian. I think there's a good chance that he's gay then.
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>653157
Dude was from the time before all barbs relied on offerings to clone yourselves
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>653180

"Hey bro! How is going with your elf wife? It is quit strange you never got any childrens with her..."
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>653180
speaking of offerings. Ask the Barb you're fighting if he's with the One True God or that shit god the one formerly known as the Barbarian Leader Hooded Bones parading with
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>653180
Question the gender of his elf wife
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>653180
Ask what he worships
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>653185
"What elf wife? We never captured any elves"
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>653266
Bash your head against the wall to regain your sanity and memory.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>653266
Call him out on his lying and convince yourself he married an elf and hes an irredeemable faggot
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>653266

"No elf? Oh I see... I always confuse for manling as elves."
>>
>>653266
Wait... That means...
There are barbarian women!
>>
File: 1.png (806 B, 500x500)
806 B
806 B PNG
>>653274
Ah yes, this unconciousness-induced darkness is really good for your memory
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>653300
Flashback to our tribal days
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

Wake up and ask the other barbarian what God he worships now that we're back to normal.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>653300
have a fever dream
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>653300

Remember the time you meet a strange barbarian cultist who suddenly worship Flaming Snake god instead for Brock.
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>653317
Ah yes, the simple time where a barbarian was free to throw rocks willy nilly without having to worry about the consequences
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>653338
immediately face consequences.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>653338
Go for the high score in rock throwing
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>653338
remember ur mom
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>653338
Think about that time were all the other tribes attacked us.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>653338
Remember the time you hit some other barb while both throwing rocks and he got pissed. Your confused because you were both playing rock-throw.
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>653348
"when are you gonna stop lying around the hut eating jerky all day and go out to throw rocks at other tribes like a normal barbarian?"

pfffft, she doesn't run your life
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>653388
Throw a rock hard boner at mom
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>653388
Remember when you killed a a baby snake to prove your manhood
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>653388
Throw rock at her.
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>653388
YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME, MOM! [jerky eating intensifies]
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>653388
Remember that time when you came home from a long day of rock throwing and discovered your mom sleeping with the King on the d/l.
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>653395
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>653424
Remember getting your ass beaten by your mom after you threw a bone at her.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>653424
uh-oh I'll bet your mom is going to go get dad
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>653424
Face immediate and severe consequences.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>653435
>>653424
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
13 KB
13 KB PNG
>>653442
That was an awkward dinner that night
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>653468
Remember your first raid on another tribe
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>653468
Wake up from the flashback
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>653468
okay well that was traumatizing. good thing it's just a flashback and you're now a totally normal functioning adult who doesn't get triggered by the sight of jerky at all nope
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>653468
Remember how after that day you trained in acrobatics for years in order to avoid you mom's rocks going forward.
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>653483
Uhh..yeah...good thing you totally got over that trauma...yeah
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>653518
you awaken splayed out on your lizard skin rug
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>653518
Go back to the present day and reality
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>653518
Wake up in room.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>653518
By the way, your mum was a total AILF.

>AILF: Amazon I'd Like to Fug
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>653526
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>653574
Ask what the hell you just did to your friendly neighbor.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>653574
Scan the room for food.
We should've been asleep when it came flying in.
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>653588
Oh it's just a...piece of jerky
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>653603
Cry.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>653603
TRIGGERED
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>653603

Get sudden vision of Brock or something else...?
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>653603
Hold it together.
It's just food.
The food of our nightmares
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>653603
>It ain't me
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>653603
Have a complete mental breakdown
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>653618
Various screams and panic yelling of "NO MOMMY NO!" and "PLEASE STOP I'LL BE A GOD BOY, I'LL BE A GOOD BOYYYYY" and similiar others were heard from your cell
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>653653
Put it under the rug and never and think of it again.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>653653
Pass out until the guards throw you out to the next fight
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>653653
You discover that fear gives you unexpected speed for running away. Cover your eyes and pocket that jerky, we may use it later, when running from something
>>
File: 1.png (865 B, 500x500)
865 B
865 B PNG
>>653671
Ah yes, darkness, your old friend. It will deliver you from this nightmare
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>653686
Nightmare of infinite jerky
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>653686
Face your inner demons
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>653686
SUDDENLY MORE ASS BEATING FLASHBACKS
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>653686
Face your fears and overcome them. Become a MAN
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>653694
Like that time you skipped rock throwing class to go punch rocks instead
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>653766
Wake up in a dry sweat, screaming.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>653766
Remember getting raped by mutated creatures of the forest.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>653766
But remember the good times, when your mother gave you your first skull hat
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>653766
And that time when all your dreams were crushed when your peers told you you would never be a good rock thrower than beat the shit out of you
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>653766
Also that time you got caught petting animals instead of punching them
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>653766

Thank to backbreaking everyday, we can turn around and see our own ass without problem.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>653766
No money no honey
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>653766
I vote to play as this guy's mom.
>>
File: Spoiler Image (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>653789
Wait, when did that happen.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>653832
Remember when we were set up a second fortress were the elves use to live and fighting the creatures of the forest who were mutated from our meteor attack
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>653832
3 weeks ago
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>653832
Oh, no, that was just one of those messed up rock-comics from the east we read when we were younger.
Some ugly shit.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>653832
Remember the obviously repressed memories, but with censors
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>653843
>>653832
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>653832
Rember Brock calling you a faggot and molesting you when you were a chiled giving you an irrational fear of rocks
>>
File: 1.png (36 KB, 500x500)
36 KB
36 KB PNG
>>653851
No, we beat them, everytime, and suffered literally no losses. Because barbarian tribe best tribe and we are invincible and have literally done nothing wrong and this is totally not barbarian revisionist history in action
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>653871
>No Losses
Hmmm barb, I think you're repressing something there. Remember when you got your asses btfo by those mutated forest creatures after you blew up the forest?
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>653871
What about that one time you fucked up trying to kill an orc caravan and got some barbs skeletonized.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>653871
Go back to reality
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>653871
Remember the meteor
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>653871
Keep growing beard
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>653871
Assure yourself nothing is wrong and go onto the next fight.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>653871
>>653860
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>653871
Okay, good. Now let's get back to more traumatic nightmares, like the time your Dad caught you picking dandelions and suplexed you off a cliff.
>>
File: 1.png (46 KB, 500x500)
46 KB
46 KB PNG
>>653884
Nope, no losses whatsoever. We were literally invincible because we're so much better than the other shit eating tribes.

Barbs dindu nuffin

We wuz throwin rocks n shieeet
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>653913
I'm %100 sure you're repressing memories, because that's not how we remember it.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>653913
What about that one time you sent barbs out to their certain doom.
Only for them to return as skeletons.
Accept the truth, you fucked up.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>653913
Commit suicide
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>653913
The Repressed memorys start showing themselves leading to us breaking down into a traumatic mess
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>653913
>>653860
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>653913
We even plotted expansion! Most progressive tribe
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>653913
if you never lost, then why are you enslaved right now?
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>653943
Exactly! We're so great we gave ourselves an immaginary trophy
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>653974
>>653888
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>653974
>Implying barbs aren't the worst
>Implying barbs just got their race killed and then enslaved
>Implying Brock loves you
Speaking of that last one we should probably call him to see how he's doing.
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>653974
arena fight nao
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>653974
What about the time you guys got your ass beat by the Orcs? Or the time the elves killed you?
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>653974
Except that it's all imaginary and in reality the barbarians were enslaved, and their culture was stomped out long ago.
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>653993
>Implying barbs aren't the best
As evident by our second trophy taht we gave ourselves inside our own immagination
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>653974
Poop in it
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>654013
Remember meteor spell? That was awesome. Maybe Brock will reward us for the lizard skin!

Make offering!
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>654013
Get ready for the next fight. It should be soon
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>654013
>>653906
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>654013
Surround yourself in imaginary trophies.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>654013
God, it's almost like all these imaginary trophies are making up for the lack of something...
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>654026
Yes indeed, you made an offering of the lizardman rug to Brock.

He's not answering.

Hmm

Well maybe there's a connection problem, you probably won't get a good signal down here surrounded by Kingdom stuff. They're clearly messing with your connection.
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>654073
Poop pants
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>654073
Remember you were the bad guys all along and your horribly repressesed losses crash down on your memorys
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>654073
Go to the areana to fight, you need to get out of here quickly so you can complete your offerings.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>654073
stage elaborate escape
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>654086
Nuh uh! Barbs were the good guys! You were the good guys! It's the other tribes' fault for being shithead chicken-brained wusses! Barbs dindu nuffin! Barbs dindu nuffin!
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>654134
Is your name perhaps rock solid?
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>654134
Reminisce about saving helpless people and being a good guy, and definitely not killing them and looting the body afterwards.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>654134
it's okay
you can cry
you're in a safe place
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>654134
get a brain aneurysm from all these memories you've been repressing
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>654134
What about when you throw rocks at the mapmaking dragon, and when you tried to steal the elf women?
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>654134
OH HEY, TIME FOR GLADIATOR FIGHT!
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>654156
Shit, that was uh....tch...ah...totally justified. Shieet. That dragon was clearly threatening national security and we were merely sending a friendly scouting party into the forest with absolutely no intention of killing them and taking their women back to our village to rape later. I mean clearly. We dindu nuffin. Except care. About our tribe and freedums.

#patriotism
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>654186
>>654143
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>654186
all of this totally accurate remembering has made you hungry. call for the guard.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>654186
Fearing what you may discover with self inspection, decide its time for an arena fight.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>654186
Pls show guard reactions to our insanity.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>654186
Elves and dragons are fags anyway
The orcs though, why'd you try to genocide the orcs three times in a row. They were really swell dudes!
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>654186
What about the times you spent multiple consecutive turns raining down meteors on towards the elven forest?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>654186
What about all those times where you killed innocent animals that couldn't defend themselves.
>>
>>654207
Because you didnt pay for the wall we built
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>654207
Ah yeah well yah, see, well Orcs...Orcs! Orcs, you see. Orcs are clearly less of a bunch of fags than the rest of the other wusses, but they're still a bunch of greenskinned shiteaters -ahem- but see, we didn't attack the orcs! Yes, we d-didn't! See, that was all coompletely...self defense! Yes, that's it. Because as everyone can see, the orcs are pretty big guys 4 u, and they approached us with their bigness and clearly threatening body language and therfore it was entirely within our rights to exterminate their gene pool.

Plus as being the only race that can stand up to us, we were clearly, CLEARLY, uh, sparring, yes, SPARRING with them to help THEM improve their fighting capabilities...yes yes yes. See, so they should be THANKING US for helping them become better.
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>654214
>>654258
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>654258
What about when you went full necromatic army and started raising the dead and making giant scary bone golems and stuff?
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>654258
it's almost time for our next fight. get swole.
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>654258
Run for arena chief
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>654260
What? Pffft. What? Naw man, nawww. WHat?! Pshaawww, no. No. No. No. Those animals were clearly armed and dangerous and clearly were coming straight at us! I mean, when an SEEMINGLY, SEEMINGLY, cute and innocent creature runs up to you and be all like "Rawr imma eat you" what can you do but kill it and its entire family in response? I mean, c'mon. C'mon. C'maaaaaannnn
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>654326
>>654276
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>654326
WERE DID HE TOUCH YOU
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>654326
check in with the guy in the next door cell again. see if he's got any extra food. all of this truth-telling is making you starved.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>654326
Welp. Let's go the arena.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>654326
Is he talking to himself? How does this look to others?
>>
File: 1.png (3 KB, 500x500)
3 KB
3 KB PNG
>>654347
"Yes, strange barbarian who spent over an hour talking to himself and occasionally the wall, I do have some spare food. Want some jerky?"
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>654374
*hello darkness my old friend*
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>654374
seizure from psychological trauma
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>654374
>IT AIN'T ME
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>654391
>>654374
>>
>>654374
Remember about how your father was a jerkyholic
Remember how he didn't believe you when you told him a skeleton molestwed you
Remember him repeatedly suplexing you
Remember that moment with your mom
Mental breakdown go
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>654374
Fetal position.
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
6 KB PNG
>>654390
"GUARDS! HE'S YELLLING ABOUT HIS MOM AGAIN!"
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>654399
Oops
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>654408
*Yelling and thrashing gets louder
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>654408
Triggered you punch through the wall and shove that jerky down the throat of your neighbor prisoner
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>654408
>>654400
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>654408
>>654399
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>654408
turns out your mom is your opponent in the next fight
>>
File: 1.png (14 KB, 500x500)
14 KB
14 KB PNG
>>654418
"EY! CALM THE FUCK DOWN"
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>654449
>>654428
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>654449
NO MOM WHY! WHY!
THE JERKEY ITS EVERYWHERE!
SAVE ME! SAVE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE!
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>654449
Go limp. Play dead.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>654449
Poop pants
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>654476
"HE'S NOT CALMING DOWN!"

"THen we have no choice, prepare to use the anesthetic"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>654515
Poop pants as your defence mechanism!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>654515
Attempt to break free from their grasp and run away panicking.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>654515
Use the anesthetic what ever that is
>>
>>654515
Your fear gives you immense power
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>654515
Thrash harder, scream incoherently.
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>654523
You don't wear pants
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>654515
>>654529
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>654544
Mother fuckin! Fine poop yourself! Fucking poop!
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>654544
Awkward!
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>654544
Your delusions make you think both guards are your parents.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>654544
THROW ROCK HARD BONERS AT THEM
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>654544
Due to the sudden rise in testosterone due to your rage, your beard suddenly expands as you thrash around.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>654544
Don't poop
Just realize your a disappointment
Leading to an even bigger mental breakdown
>>
File: 1.png (17 KB, 500x500)
17 KB
17 KB PNG
>>654553
"SUBJECT IS CLEARLY DELUSIONAL, APPLY ANESTHETIC!"

"APPLYING ANESTHETIC"

The anesthetic has been applied, you are now returned to the sweet, sweet darkness of uncioness
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>654620
Flashback to the day orcs were walkin by with a caravan.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>654620
RESIST THE ANESTHESIA AND ESCAPE THEIR GRIP
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>654620
NO MOM
NOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>654620
Wait until we're called for the next match.


This is getting kind of repetitive imo
>>
File: 1.png (17 KB, 500x500)
17 KB
17 KB PNG
>>654638
Oh look, it that time when you accidentally gave the captured elf prisioners a handshake instead of a punch
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>654707
SOME OF THOSE (MALE) ELVES LOOKED ATTRACTIVE, MOOOM
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>654707
Go to the arena and fight our next opponent
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>654718
"clearly I ahve failed as a father. So if you excuse me, I'm just gonna go and smash my head against a rock until I can't feel anything anymore. I'll be back before dinner, see ya"

And that was the last time you ever saw your dad
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>654762
DAD NO
DON'T LEAVE US
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>654762
Wake up with tears on your face and in your beard, with a new vigor ready to fight.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>654762
And this is were Brock appears infront of everyone and calls us a faggot with a small dick
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>654762
Get your ass beat by mom for making your dad leave her.
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>654762
Where did he go? The second fort?
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>654785
"Oh man, you'rea faggot with a small dick. HEY EVERYONE! THIS FAGGOT WITH A SMALL DICK IS A FAGGOT WITH A SMALL DICK!"

Man, your dreams just keep getting weirder by the minute
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>654836
>>654720
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>654836
Wake up in a isolated padded cell wearing a straightjacket
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>654836
WAKE ME UP
CAN'T WAKE UP
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>654836
wake up and scream as loud as you can
Channel your frustration into pure sound loud enough to burst eardrums of the guards outside your cell
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>654836
He tells our mom to kill herself then leaves
Our mom duplexes us down a flight of stairs than kills herself
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>654846
"BEHOLD, CITIZENS OF THE KINGDOM! THE CENTAUR! HALF MAN! HALF HORSE! A QUARTER AWKWARD LIMB MOVEMENT AND ONE FIFTH VEGETARIAN!"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>654925
Notice his skin looks a little like jerkey and break down again
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>654925
Charge it with both shields
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>654925
Didja dad fuck an 'orse or somefin? Ur a faget
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>654925
We're still knocked out
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>654940
"Well yeah. Makes for really awkward family reunions"
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>654962
>>654931
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>654962
Laugh at him and his stupid culture.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>654962
HORSEFUCKER
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>654962
My dad hit his head against a rock until he forgot he died because I was that much of a disappointment
I know the feel
Mental breakdown slowly starts up again
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>654971
"But how can you laugh my culture, when it's your own culture. Brother?"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>655007
WHAT A TWEEST
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>655007
Cue us breaking down again
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>655007
Attack the centaur bastard
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>655007
We had sneks... not horses you BARBARIAN
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>655027
"You see my brutha from anotha mutha. When our father repeatedly smacked his head against a rock to erase the pain of your existence. He also accidentally erased his own sense of proper arousal and he was no longer turned on by human women. Dazed, he wandered away from your village accross the lands, until a fateful encounter with my mother. A horse."
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>655100
Arnt we all limp cuz, meteor?
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>655100
Introduce your shields to his face
>>
>>655112
This was before the meteor
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>655100
Summon the rage of your mother and shield bash.
>>
>>655127
Aaaah. We didnt have horses
>>
Barbarians are
>Warmongers
>hypocrites
>Necromancers
>murders of innocent animals
>molesters
and now horsefuckers as well.
>>
>>655100
bro hug time
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
13 KB
13 KB PNG
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>655117
Whoosh, giving him a taste of your shield
Roll 2d100 and have the second number beat my shitty number


>>655141
What part of "wandered away from your village accross the lands" did you not understand
>>
Rolled 12, 1 = 13 (2d100)

>>655150
FUCK YOU HORSEFUCKER DAD
>>
Rolled 79, 27 = 106 (2d100)

>>655150
>>
Rolled 88, 85 = 173 (2d100)

>>655150
HUUUUUUURRRRRGGG
>>
>>655159
How could a person roll this horrible
>>
>>655150
time to hug your brother with your shield
>>
>>655150
The part that "barbarians are awesome with no flaws"


Rock culture is superior culture.
>>
>>655171
when I'm not trying hard to win
>>
>>655159
We ded
Good job anon
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>655165
Good hit
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>655228
Bash again with the fury of a thousand moms.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>655228
RIDE HIM LIKE A HORSE
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>655228
Punch his neck with shield....repeatedly
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>655228
Just keep hitting him
>>
>>655176
Oh so didn't understand why "barbarians are awesome with no flaws". So you're saying barbarians are not awesome and have lots of flaws
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>655228
Throw your shields down and embrace your brother
>>
File: 1.png (5 KB, 500x500)
5 KB
5 KB PNG
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>655243
Roll 2d100 for neck punching
>>
>>655245
Your grasping for straws. Which might be as stable as your internet connection.
>>
Rolled 31, 74 = 105 (2d100)

>>655260
>>
Rolled 46, 33 = 79 (2d100)

>>655260
>>
>>655171
It happens.
Like for instance one time as a joke in a 1 on 1 DnD practice session I decided to punch myself in the face as the first thing I did, I critical'd myself and almost died because apparently the dice god is an asshole whether its virtual dice or real actual dice
>>
Rolled 53, 78 = 131 (2d100)

>>655260
double nat 100 incoming
>>
Rolled 16, 1 = 17 (2d100)

>>655260
dude RNG lmao
>>
Rolled 59, 55 = 114 (2d100)

>>655260
HUUUUUUURRRRGGG again!
>>
Rolled 77, 43 = 120 (2d100)

>>655260
>>
Rolled 33, 24 = 57 (2d100)

>>655260
>>
>>655266
No I mean like, the question was "what part did you not understand" and you answered with the part saying barbarians are awesome.
>>
>>655289
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Fug
>>
>>655294
You walked right into that one

Barbarian education at work
>>
>>655324
>Barbarians
>Education
>>
>>655324
I assure you I have a masters in Rockology
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>655280
Whoops, he knocked you away

>>655334
Exactly
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>655340
Drop your weapons and refuse to fight your own brother
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>655340
THROW YOUR ROCK HARD BONER SHIELDS AT HIM
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>655340
Counter him with...METAL CONCERT SCREEEEAAAAAAAMMMMMM
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>655340
Get on all fours, face the other way, shout ecstatically and spread your legs wide
>>
>>655340
Say 'We are brothers, we shouldn't be fighting! I'm sorry for hitting you, brother!'
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>655356
Whoosh
Roll2d100, yadda yadda, curse Dice God, yadda yadda
>>
Rolled 15, 3 = 18 (2d100)

>>655380
MUH BONERS
>>
Rolled 11, 16 = 27 (2d100)

>>655380
>>
Rolled 36, 59 = 95 (2d100)

>>655380
so much for brotherly love
>>
Rolled 14, 51 = 65 (2d100)

>>655380
fug
>>
Rolled 3, 88 = 91 (2d100)

>>655380
>>
Rolled 89, 66 = 155 (2d100)

>>655387
Damn
>>
Rolled 29, 19 = 48 (2d100)

>>655380
>>
>>655387
>>655406
>>655410
>>655411
These low first roles.
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>655387
Oh great now he has 3 shields
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>655447
>>655361
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>655447
welp time to give up, might as well bend over and let him take you
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>655447
it's all ogre now
LAST RESORT ATTACK
ROCK HARD BONER ATTACK
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>655447
>>655359
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>655447
BUT WE STILL HAVE OUR SMASHING BOARD
To defend with
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>655447
okay it's time to charm and reconcile with your equine brother
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>655447
surrender; we can't face that many shields at once
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>655447
>>655362
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>655447
This is just like the time Mom beat the shit out of you for making Dad leave her.

(Trauma flashback!)
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>655455
roll 2d100blah blah blah
>>
Rolled 84, 25 = 109 (2d100)

>>655528
>>
Rolled 15, 67 = 82 (2d100)

>>655528
Fug
>>
Rolled 60, 61 = 121 (2d100)

>>655528
>>
Rolled 70, 54 = 124 (2d100)

>>655528
BONE HIM
like your dad boned a horse
>>
Rolled 33, 97 = 130 (2d100)

>>655528
>>
Rolled 19, 7 = 26 (2d100)

>>655528
>>
Rolled 82, 84 = 166 (2d100)

>>655528
>>
>>655548
Eyy
>>
>>655553
No.
>>655534
>>
>>655548
>>655534
too low for your first roll, nigga
>>
>>655560
Awe
>>
File: 1.png (14 KB, 500x500)
14 KB
14 KB PNG
>>655534
And so your desperation attaack was countered with a sword stab. And so you died.

The End
>>
>>655613
punch self in face
IN HELL
>>
>>655613
well shit
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>655613
Cut to us in hell
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

Who's up for a chill and nonmurderboner
Skelebool adventure. Mariachi the countryside
>>
>>655613
Well at least I didn't have the intent to kill the barbarian like some others have done to previous protagonists. Are we doing smiling son tomorrow then?
>>
File: 1.png (5 KB, 500x500)
5 KB
5 KB PNG
>>655624
Ah da da. If none of the previous fuckers get a hell segment, barbarians won't get one too. Time to pick da next victim-ahem-protag
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>655613
Can we be his Mom now?

His Mom was fukkin RAD.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>655639
Of course the others dont get a hell segment, barbs are the only ones evil enough to go there
>>
>>655641
No girls allowed in da clubhouse
>>
>>655639
We should make the centaur barbarian a chops able protagonist. He's clearly better then the one we just played as.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>655641
yes, barb mom now pls
>>
>>655613
>All characters who develop actual personality get killed by the dice or canon
Are we fucking cursed or something?
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>655639
AND THE CHJOICES ARE ETHER: Smiling son or manlet rider
>>
>>655661
Maybe OP should not add 2d100 die, but rather 2d50 to make it fair
>>
>>655661
Well in the case of the imp king he was just too weak. That's why I wanted him to ignite the sewer and actually have some sort of lasting impact.
>>
>>655678
I don't see Amazon Mom.

Where's Amazon Mom?
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>655678
Smiling son lock in

It'll be hard to find a way to murder a kid so he'll probably be fine
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>655678
Ayyy
continue the thread, 6 more hours
smiling son cause why not
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>655678
Mystery box where are you?
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>655678
Smiling son
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>655678
smiling son time
>>
>>655678
Sonny Boy
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>655678
Mysterybox
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>655678
Smiling son
Save best for last
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
Oh great! The decision is unanimous, Smiling Sonnyboy it is! See you next time, which will either be in 12 hours or more likely, the same starting time as this one. BUt probably not a whole new thread but jsut continuing this one, it still ahve some posts left before bump limit eh.

Updates:https://twitter.com/notapaladin

Bye
>>
>>655715
Does he at least have godlike powers?
>>
>>655727
Maybe, maybe not. Who knows.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>655683
Except it is confirmed as dice God fuckery
We could have legit one shot him

Also the blowing up the swears made absolutely no sense

Also what was reptitive to you? Because you just kept spamming move one to the next match
>>
>>655715
I say we have a atleast 90% chance for smiling son to somehow get murdered by shenanigans
>>
>>655727
The only thing that may actually save us from the dice god.
>>
>>655735
Is child murder a common thing in this series?
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>655639
it was the year ninety nine ninty nine...we were excavated and ressurected as CYBER BARBARIAN. Rebuilt with the latest technology, faster, better stronger...bar...bari..an..er.

Really its just a robot wearing a dead guys skeleton, working a shitty job at a poor quality amusement park.
>>
>>655734
I remember getting good rolls but it didn't have any real effect because of the imps physicality.

I wanted him to blow up the sewers to fuck with the kingdom. Also he was really depressing to look at when it was going on.

I just wanted to try and get somewhere besides dramatic flashbacks about motherly abuse as fun as they were.
>>
>>655743
No but protagonists dying sensless deaths by dice god or dum decisions is common so far in this
>>
Speaking of which, Barbarian actually took less time to die than the Imp.

Does this mean that Barbs are actually shittier than manlets?
>>
>>655790
No, but they intended to murder the Barb from the start. You also gave Impo 3 chances. You gave Barb 2.
>>
>>655790
Nah. The barbarian fighting this entire season wether against his opponents in the ring or against himself.

The manlet imp was just trying to convince manlets and covering himself in shit most of the session.
>>
>>655767
No when we were in combat with the mugger he got the best roles in the best possible situations
>>
>>655809
Yeah that little segment with shit made no sense and was unneeded

It also didn't help that Orc saitama was spaming lol so randomn

But I'm not really any better am I
>>
>>655849
Orc Saitama really needs to lay off with the whole seduce thing. I just hope he stops with the smiling son because then it kind turns in pedophillia
>>
>>655875
Just gotta get "Swear to never try and lick/seduce things, it's stupid" in one of the early rolls to lock that off.
>>
>>655923
Also "never try to punch or attack shit. Elves are naturally weak like Gobbos"
>>
>>655976
Well I mean we're a kid this time so we can probably get the two most important books from the library.
"How to read" and "How to not be retarded"
>>
>>655976
Well the Smiling one did kill a barbarian lich if I recall and the smiling son is imbued with Godly powers. Although he is just a child and should just do more casualt things like learning.
>>
>wake up knowing about midnight barb thread
>expect him dead cause salty anons
>actually dead cause of dice rolls
I'm ok with that
>>
>>656581
He also got killed by his half-brother half-barbarian kin.
>>
>>656670
at least not by down the mill mugger
>>
Do we get a family reunion for TraumaBarb when he appears in Hell?

Gettng to eat Mom's Jerky again is literally hell for him
>>
>>657659
>implying such badass Mom is dead
>>
>>657659
His name was Canon Solidhat, TraumaBard was just his gimmick
>>
>>657659
no, his mom is on the Character Select Screen. I just wish NaP remembered Orcs still exist. We haven't played Orcs in ages.
>>
>>657973
>he says this while there was also an orc there
>>
>>657973
>read thread on phone in morning
>thought on that char selection screen is beard not mom
Okay, whos idea was to go with kid elf instead of barbmom?

Also all orcs now are going to heaven for final battle with Brock, I doubt you'll get one.
>>
>>657978
>>657979
No I mean literally, aside from Wan Panch, there hasn't been any recent quest in memory that had an Orc Protagonist.
>>
>>657997
Maybe because nobody picked any orcs for anything
>>
>>658007
>>657997
aside of wanpan orcs didn't have much character tho
what I wonder is why manlets are so popular, not that I mind after getting us Manlet Riders but still
>>
>>658009
Becuase, like barbs, they had more than 1 hero
>>
>>658015
I meant that they as race didn't have much character. aside of staring blankly.
>>
>>658021
Orcs overall were probably the more bland factions. They didn't go to war with anyone like the Barbarians but just didn't really do much. For a while they wanted to just trade with people and be buisness orcs but then weebness took over. They were also AFK for like a third of the quest.
>>
>>658051
not like manlets had any character either, just sitting in cave and building shit, I guess they got choosen twice thanks to overall amount of players played with them
I guess AFK is the main reason for orcs being rare, every nation wants quest of their civ after all
>>
>>658071
OP gave them a lot of personality when he fucked with them, making them charming too. Orcs just stared blank aside from battle
>>
>>658071

My own idea is that we shall play a character is who is strange hybrid of human, elf, manling, orc and dragon.

It will be fair for everybody.
>>
>>658079
>OP gave them a lot of personality when he fucked with them, making them charming too.
well that warms my cold dead heart
>>
>>658079
What about the time Orcs anally devastated a dragon with fruit? Yeah that was around the time when everything started going bad after everything started getting good but that was funny. Just because the Orcs weren't Murder Hobos or were having their anuses gaped open doesn't mean they had their own charm.

>>658009
There was One Eye but he's dead? There was Greg but he's also dead and a skelly and also probably purged, there's the Orc Shamans but they're probably all dead. Plus I'm sure everyone was just as hype when we rolled those nat 100s and overcame those tough rolls. I'm gonna try to be active next quest so I can try to roll for an Orc Protagonist once we die again but I'm sure most of you will be rolling for Manlen Rider then.
>>
>>658107
So what you're saying is that the Orcs' gimmick is fruit rape
>>
>>658080
dragons please, stop fucking with genepool
literally
>>658079
yeah, I can agree too that. they are kinda fun.
>>658107
I didn't mean exact heroes, but character itsels - aka trait
>>
>>658089
Anytime you cold bastard.
>>658107
You are right. They didnt have any character.

>>658111
Yes
>>
>>658111
what no it's being weebs, but yeah the main problem I had with the Orcs is that we really had no clear objective. We were gonna start on that road but nobody helped us so we just forgot about it, then there was the time we decided to hire out mercs but they just got killed and abandoned, the partnership with the Manlets was gonna be great but they struck a better deal with the Humans so we had to leave, then the king happened.

>>658114
Orcs were monks or someshit then Saitama scored that roll against the meteor and then we went full weeb with the stands and shit, which eventually led to our demise when we spent all those turns developing card games, re-enacting animes, summoning succubi waifus.
>>
>>658114

I'm not even a dragon. Otherwise we can play a skeleton with parts of dragons, orc, manling and elf.
>>
>>658126
>manling
The fuck are those
>>
>>658130
They're smaller and weaker goblins.
Basically manlet manlets.
>>
>>658119
>Orcs were monks or someshit then Saitama scored that roll against the meteor and then we went full weeb with the stands and shit, which eventually led to our demise when we spent all those turns developing card games, re-enacting animes, summoning succubi waifus.
considering whole 4chins are weeb I guess that wasn't enough to stand out.
>>
>>658119
>Orcs were monks or someshit then Saitama scored that roll against the meteor and then we went full weeb with the stands and shit, which eventually led to our demise when we spent all those turns developing card games, re-enacting animes, summoning succubi waifus.
no ragrats
>>
>>658137
Pretty much this
>>
We already had One Puncg Bugman adventure not long ago too, now that I think about it. Pretty underwhelming to do it again
>>
Are we continuing the game today or tomorrow?
>>
>>658142
That was a Kamen Rider Themed Bugman though. We are talking about Wasteland Quest right?
>>
>>658270
I am talking about Wasteland Bugman. He was a One Punch meme
>>
>>658173
tomorrow
>>
>>658339
sleep tight man
>>
I have a proposition for you all


How do you feel about the idea of snekball
>>
>>658681
What's that?
>>
>>658279
He was more based off Kamen Rider 2 than anything
>>
>>658071
Dragon here, back when we actually had more than one tribesman, I was actually hoping we won't play as them as we'll probably go extinct by way of rectal penetration.

I was prepared for the worst when you fags played Messiah
>>
>>658737
Only his appearance. All of his attacks were One Punch Man themed.

He killed Poak Bun with one punch
>>
So after all of this, which tribe is best tribe?
>>
>>660865
Barbarians obviously
>>
>>660865
Skeletons,though if you don't count them as a tribe then orcs since at this point orcs have been the least fucked through this adventure
>manlets heroes have all tried to become superheroes and died gruesome deaths before they were able to do anything heroic
>Smiling one had a psychotic break and got killed by 'cultists'
>Dragon messiah watched all his friends get murderraped, found out his father was killed, and his sister is either also dead or serving as brocks personal cocksleave/cumdumpster
>barbarians guy was a massive wuss who had constant breakdowns due to a shitty childhood
>one punch orc only kept knocking himself out with facepunches
>>
>>660870
It's true, barbarians are actually huge wusses that had to call other people wusses to mask their own insecurities
>>
>>660883
>>660870
>literally 1 (one) barb being a wuss
>EVERYONE IS A WUSS
Barbmom will need to educate ya
>>
>>660886
Every barb is indeed a wuss, yess
>>
>>660886
If we were to pretend that each tribe was a different player in a DnD session they would be the following
>Dragons would be the guy who constantly seems to get fucked by dice rolls and/or the DM
>Manlets are the guy who rolled a shitty character but knows how to make them potentially good
>Barbarians are THAT GUY
>Orcs are the guy who just wants to get it over with so he can go home
>Elves are the guy who is semi serous about it
>>
>>660898
I never played DnD in my entire life, so I can't get that.
I wish I played.
Too bad that's not a thing in Siberia.
>>
>>660898
This seems about right.
>>
>>660898
>>Dragons would be the guy who constantly seems to get fucked by dice rolls and/or the DM
also
>dragons fucked by dice rolls.
that happened to them only twice at best, ignoring coalition attack
now let's count how many scouting barbs failed. oh wait, most of them.
>>
>>660903
>dem dice rolls be keeping us barbs down
Stay salty
>>
>>660900
Well if you wondering about the few terms and shit I used the DM is basically serves the role of what OP does in these threads and THAT GUY is basically a person who intentionally fucks either the plot or everything with their own special brand of retardation where they will do shit and usually end up either ruining the plot of the entire adventure for everyone or if the DM is good enough/allows it send it completely off the rails
>>
>>660907
I never said that.
We never were salty over rolls, we just accepted them. What I can't say about other races.
>>660909
I know who DM is and overall process of the game.
>THAT GUY is basically a person who intentionally fucks either the plot or everything with their own special brand of retardation where they will do shit and usually end up either ruining the plot of the entire adventure for everyone or if the DM is good enough/allows it send it completely off the rails
I fail too see how that is a bad thing, probably I'm THAT GUY then.
>>
>>660903
Barbs always bounced back from their shitty dice rolls and are currently in an alright situation
Dragons are Practically extinct with only one member left alive and were constantly getting fucked over by OP on a semi consistent basis
>>660912
'That guy' is universally hated by most DM's because all they do is make the DM's jobs harder and are usually not very serious about the game.
Combine this with the fact that Most DnD players are of the super serious 'no fun allowed' type and you can see why they might be considered a bad thing
>>
>>660912
Keep living in denial salt man
>>
>>660916
They're not really in an "alright" situation. OP, on his twitter, said that there's like 3 of them left.
>>
>>660916
Good thing there is no DnD locally then
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

Orc Player here, I just want a quick adventure of pre-Orc Cleric Orc adventures. Just one, Orcs dindu nuffin, it was die god's fault why we all here.

>>660940
Haven't seen that

>>660912
>LOL IT'S OK GUYS IT'S "FUN"
Most of the time it really isn't. Like when Canon screwed us over when we just wanted to be a Master Cooking Chef Elf
>But guys if I didn't interfere we would still be cooking
I'm still fucking salty, we were cooking to see where that would go. It's up to OP to decide what to do to make it interesting.

>>660886
Everyone of them is a huge insecure wuss as we've seen how badly Barbarians try to forget each and every defeat and constantly paint themselves as the good guys.
>>
>>660898
As a fellow DnD character, i would agree
>>
>>660996
hey, I don't like Canon ways of doing things too. I was pretty excited to get cooking rolling. Hell, I was the one who started broth thing back in submarine quest.
Just cause you dislike what I did during Civ thing doesn't mean I'm one who ruins fun in regular quests
>Everyone of them is a huge insecure wuss as we've seen how badly Barbarians try to forget each and every defeat and constantly paint themselves as the good guys.
>implying we did hugely evil things
just few meteors, big deal. I call you jelly and prejudgemental
>>
>>660996
>>661009
As another Barb, i will say i wanted the Cooking Thing AND a good manlet adventure. We weren't sabotaging anyone. That was only Canon. I will continue to back up Solid for that.

Yes, we did dickish things in Civ Thing, but it was our play style! Hell, there was plenty of times we disagreed on actions, just like the rest of you.

We even kicked a member out because his actions were even too stupid FOR US
>>
>>661005
Player*
Not character


Fuck you, mobile device
>>
>>661016
Are you referring to that one guy with senpai in his name? He was stupid but not for the reasons that most people disliked barbarians.
>>
>>661024
so for what reasons people disliked barbarians
enlighten me
it's salt about coalition attack, isn't it
>>
>>661030
Stuff like attacking the map making dragon or trying to rape Elven women. There was an entire episode of the now deceased barbarian denying and justifying stuff like that in a childish way.
>>
>>661035
>expect barbarians act civil
I think that's your expectations at fault here
What barbarians do? Raid. Until they stop being barbarians. That's what they do.
>still salty about rocks hitting dragon
I already explained multiple times that if you see huge chunk of meat flying above you, you hunt it.
>There was an entire episode of the now deceased barbarian denying and justifying stuff like that in a childish way.
I laughed my ass off that episode, what's wrong with it? OP just used our offtopic banter, simple as that.
>>
>>661047
You're a retard
>>
>>661047
Pretty much...


No...

100% accurate. OP literally combined all of our banter. Mostly Solid's, but still.

We were more in character than all the other races.

Elves tried to fight outside the forest.

Gobbos befriended the tallest race

Orcs tried to make technology and learn stuff

Dragons always spent money
Barbs raid shit. Accurate events.
>>
>>661055
Enjoy your rockophobia
>>
>>661055
If that is your only response with no valid feedback, you really have no voice to further this conversation.

Save the insults for Canon
>>
>>661060
Remember chi asked why people disliked barbarians and I told him why. He then just talks about something unrelated and says something about me which is untrue. He looks like nothing more then a attention seeking troll who doesn't understand what other people are saying.
>>
>>661063
>Rock asked me why people disliked barbarians
Fucking mobile.
>>
wow so much arguing
>>
>>661109
Do you see the salt, OP?
This is all your doing.
Be proud.
>>
>>661121
I mean all I did was ask a question
>>
>>661124
Well, you can guess that asking which tribe is best tribe would bring some salt on the table.
>>
>>661132
Yes but which tribe is best tribe though
>>
File: tegaki.png (9 KB, 400x400)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>661151
why won't you answer that question
>>
>>661057
>Orcs tried to make technology and learn stuff
you guys also made technology and tried to learn stuff. It's not like Orcs had a set characteristic before that, we were nomads and seeing as how we got around pretty well (From Orc Camp, to Elven Camp, to eventually becoming Travelling Band of Weebs until THAT roll)
>>
>>661161
Barbs had fire and skull hats, we had inventions from the start
>>
>>661154
A Tribe Called Quest
>>
>>661166

Quite
Unusual
Elf
Salt
Tasters


Oh shit!
>>
>>661166
>even OP is biased
no one wins
>>
>>661168
>>661174
>doesn't know what A Tribe Called Quest is
See this is why you're uncultured barbarians
>>
File: bit.jpg (16 KB, 326x388)
16 KB
16 KB JPG
>>661176
I'm ok with that
>>
>>661176
> was trying to be funny
>failed
>ohwell.jpeg

And when was me not knowing something unusual? It's not. Like barbarians. We are NORMAL CIVIL PEOPLE
>>
>>661178
Then are you okay with barbarians being extinct and never inventing Coldgate, I guess so
>>
>>661182
At least we had Flaming Rock Hard Boner Spears
>>
File: ONORE.gif (870 KB, 360x272)
870 KB
870 KB GIF
>>661182
no, I'm not ok with that
>>
Anyway, update soon, smiling kid soon
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
6 KB PNG
Alrighty then. This is your next protag, The Smiling Elf Kid.

You grew up in the city and live with your Mom and Uncle. Your mom just sent you out for groceries, what do you do?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>661225
punch self in the face
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>661225
Go to the grocery store. Are we slaves?
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>661230
Maybe, maybe we're all slaves. Slaves to da system, maaaaan. Slaves to destiny.
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>661241
Rebel against the man by buying groceries radically.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>661241
But not slaves to the kingdom
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>661241
have you been listening to that crazy manlet neighbour again?
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>661243
What's a slave anyway. Mom hasn't teach you that yet.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>661247
Stop by the bookstore after getting groceries and buy a dictionary, kiddo
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>661247
where did you learn that word?
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>661250
Now, which store
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>661262
comic tomes for all our super hero needs
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>661262
Books R We
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>661263
Ah yes of course
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>661277
Its time for Judith Warrior Princess.

Opression of the Manlets issue 3
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>661277
Set fire to the store
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>661277
Look for slave man comics in the adult section.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>661277
look for the most edgy cover
>>
File: 1.png (16 KB, 500x500)
16 KB
16 KB PNG
>>661280
>>
>>661300
Poop loincloth
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>661300
>>661282
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>661300
learn a lot about power dynamics and shit
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>661300
Realizing you don't want to be badly influenced by these devil books, go to the grocery store like a good little boy.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>661300
nah, manlet suck, try looking for barbarian comic tome
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>661300
>>661303
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>661300
Buy.
>>
>>661308
That is so totes a arian barb mom
>>
File: 1.png (17 KB, 500x500)
17 KB
17 KB PNG
>>661308
This book won like 5 awards
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>661320
your Intelligence stat increases
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>661320
Emulate your idol Barbarian-man
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>661320
reviewers are just sellouts
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>661320
Remember we gotta get groceries.
Don't wanna disappoint mom and uncle.
>>
>>661325
Go to bed, Canon
>>
>>661334
Actually, Canon's this guy >>661304
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>661325
>>
>>661335
Ugh. I am normally good about that
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>661338
Wait how did we understand the comic?
Do we even know how to read?
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>661338
Go get the grocerys like a good boy for mom
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>661338
throw that rock
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>661338
Thats enough playing around, time to be a good boy and get groceries for mom and uncle.
>>
>>661340
Just check the IDs, that's what they're for
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>661338
Poopen elf pants
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>661343
whoosh
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>661348
set rock on fire
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>661348
Ow!
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>661348
*the rock Breaks a window*
>>
File: 1.png (17 KB, 500x500)
17 KB
17 KB PNG
>>661351
Well you did threw a rock inside a city, it's bound to break a window sooner or later
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>661361
Run to the grocery store, it'll give you an alibi.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>661361
Call some guards and admit you accidentally murdered a man with super human rock throwing skills an that your very sorry
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>661361
throw another rock
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>661364
"Hah?"

"Pfft yeah sure, nice joke kid"
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>661370
I'm serious, look over there where there used to be a wall.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>661370
tell them you will prove it then throw another rock, this time at them
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>661372
"Yeah sure, and I'm actually a being from another realm of existence using this mortal guard body as a host for my terrible powers. Now run along and play somewhere else, kid"
>>
>>661378
Okay.
REMEMBER GROCERIES
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>661378
Realize it must have been another random giant rock falling into his house, and move along to the grocery store.
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>661378
What does "slave" mean?
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>661379
>>661378
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>661378
Suck my elf dick
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>661382
Oh yeah, that thing
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>661386
Ask a guard for an escort
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>661386
Buy that shit
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>661386
look at the back
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>661386
Skip to the mall all carefree, as a completely non murderer, innocent, non mentally scarred elf kid.
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>661387
"An escort? Like, Like a prostit--"

"No you dumbass, the kid's asking for a bodyguard"

"Oh, okay. I knew that"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>661398
No, like a prostitute
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>661398
Thanks!
Im just a kid! Alone. In the cold. With a sweeeet jacket.

Go to grocery store
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>661398
Go buy the groceries already
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>661399
"hah?"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>661405
Fooled you again!

*smile*
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>661405
Let's go already.
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>661405
okay well I'm off to buy groceries hope you enjoyed the goofs
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>661410
Right, groceries, groceries. Gotta be a good boy so you'll get an allowance raise.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>661414
Potatoes, cabbages and eggs
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>661414
Get 7 eggs, 3 cabbages and 4 potatoes
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>661414
Go to the veggies to get the Cabbages and Potatoes first. You certainly don't want to get eggs first and end up dropping them!
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>661414
Alright, 6 eggs, 2 cabbages, 3 potatoes, and 5000 loaves of bread, just like it says on the list
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>661420
"ah, greetings, tiny elf kid. How can I help you today?"
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>661430
Show him your list
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>661430
Cabbages, please! For mom!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>661430
I was told to buy 300 cabbages and 40000 potatoes!
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>661430
commence haggling
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>661430
Hi mister! Can get 2 cabbages and 3 potatoes for me and mom and Uncle!
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>661435
"alright, you need 2 cabbages and 3 potatoes. That'll be 5 coins"

How will you respond?
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>661439
Take them and forget to pay him as you walk away.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>661439
How about 3 coins? Just look at our cute little face.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

I haven't participated in a NaP quest ever since Solid Family
Why does OP have such a murderboner for protags?
>>661439
Here's your money, sir
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>661439
Smile and give him 5 coins.
>>
>>661443
It's not me, officer. it's the dice, I swear
>>
>>661443
Cuz we have too many. And its mostly Saitama Orc and Canon killing us
>>
File: 1.png (5 KB, 500x500)
5 KB
5 KB PNG
>>661444
toot toot
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>661447
>>661448
Nah, it's just that OP is an asshole
>>661450
Hey OP! You're a fucking asshole!
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>661450
Now for the last thing to get! 6 whole chickens! So they each lay 6 eggs!
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>661450
Go get eggs in the same fashion.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>661450
Eeeeggggssss
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>661453
"That'll be 12 coins, kid"
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>661459
Give him the coins if we got the money. If not then just ask for 6 eggs.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>661459
Give him the money
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>661462
"HAHA! I DON'T EVEN WORK HERE! THANKS FOR THE FREE MONEY STUPID"

Then he ran away
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>661465
GUARDS, THAT BIG MEANIE TOOK MY MONEY!
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>661465
Throw a rock at the scoundrel
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>661465
Cry and tell a different pair of guards that your money was stolen by a beardy man
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>661465
Tell the guards to catch him
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>661465
Cry and tell someone an old man robbed him.
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>661471
"Ooooh, too slow"
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>661480
Throw an entire market stall at him
>>
>>661480
Yell for guards to help and apprehend that villain who may or may not be a barbarian in disguise
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>661480
Hereditary psychosis kicks in. Throw another rock
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>661480
get mad, time to set something on fire
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>661480
Yell for help. Anyone, a guard, a conveniently placed burly gentleman, anyone.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

A bit too hasty
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>661489
How?
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>661497
Yell for guards help!
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>661497
with some sticks like cavemen did, just rub those fuckers together as fast as you can till something bursts into flame
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>661497
Deciding your money is more important than any pyrophilic tendencies, yell for help.
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>661503
"alright, what happened?"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>661514
A beardy guy with a pointy hat stole my money! 12 coins! Mom worked hard for it so I could buy her food here!
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>661514
"THAT DUDE STOLE OUR 12 COINS! PLS HELP MR.GUARD"
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>661514
Old scruffy beardy man stole my money!
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>661514
a thief stole your money and needs stabbing, ask for the guards sword so you can do so
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>661526
" 'kay"

"Oh fuck"
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>661538
Thanks, Mr. Guard!
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>661538
He's a barbarian!
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>661538
start calling that specific guard oniichan and idolise him
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>661538
Thanks guard-man!
Give him a coin for helping us, and go back to shopping.
Also, ask if we can take the old man's hat.
Looks funky.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>661538
Thank him and do what you do best, smile.
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>661546
"Nah kid. They're too dumb to pull something like this off. No, you've been duped by The Chicken Shop Swindler. He's notorious for impersonating chicken merchants to take peoples money. Been caught a few times but he stole relatively little then so we only imprisoned him for a while. But with this, this though. He's going up on the chopping block"

"Oh c'mon man, it was only 12 coins. I stole like 20 before and that only got me 6 years!"

"Yes, but this time you commited another crime, even worse"

"What's that?"

"Teaching children about stealing"
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>661563
Can we have the Chicken Man's hat?
I like it.
Also, give the guard a coin for helping us, he's been real nice.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>661563
Perk learned. Theivery and Swindling
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>661563
Smile and go buy eggs.
>>
File: 1.png (5 KB, 500x500)
5 KB
5 KB PNG
>>661570
"Sure, kid. And keep your coin, you may need it for something else"

"This is bullshit! That's my property!"

"Ah! Swearing in front of children! That's another execution!"

"Goddamnit"

"Ah! Taking the lords name in vain in front of children! Another execution!"
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>661584
Egg time
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>661584
Well, let's finish our shopping, then go back home and show mom our dank new hat
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>661584
attempt to pick the guard pocket
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>661584

Let get some nice eggs.
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>661590
"See?! Kid's already trying to pickpocket, because of your bad example! You should be ashamed of yourself!"
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>661599
Apologies, mister
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>661599
yell "Jesus christ" and call the guard a fuckwit
>>