Bumping

One more bump anons.

>>652690
>>652529
>>652349
Can you do the spanish conquistadors quest where we were the scot in the new land?

>>652349
>Don't worry. After a few more conquests on the surface I'll get to them...
Finally got here at the start!

I missed threads 24-29 and they aren't on suptg. Where could I find them?

>>652818
I didn't realize that anyone was archiving them for about 5 threads since Hare is ded, and a new anon might be archiving or not. Trying to figure out how to archive to avoid losing threads for all eternity.

>>652805
Planning to after this thread, can't believe it fucking took me a month after I started it to post another thread of it.

>>652836
K, I really don't like the dragon quest, since it's too much autism for me. But'll drop in for the Conquistador.

I feel I like more down to earth quests, that we're weak instant of a powerful dragon. So I don't be partaking in this quest. Hope you find readers

I'll be here for a few hours hopefully

>>652883
Thanks anon.

"Oh, don't worry about it. After a few more conquests we'll get these guys."

"Who said I was worried? I was just surprised."

"I bet you were, though. Probably wondering of my master plan?"

"...No, not really."

"It's a good plan, I assure you."

"That's good, I suppose."

"Yeah. Now, are you done stretching?"

"If it gets me back in that car, no."

"I'll assume yes then."

"...Give me five minutes."

"Got it."

A minute or two later, Chrysoula asks you another question.

"So it's your goal to conquer Europe?"

"Well, the world really. It's slow but it's happening."

"Why?"

"Wouldn't you like to rule the world? Countless servants, having a population which serves only you..."

"Sounds like your a little bit of a megalomaniac."

"You forgot how I'm trying to get people to worship me and whatnot. Eventually I'll surpass the gods in power..." You let loose an evil laugh, refined thanks to a little bit of service to Khorne, and your background in science.

"So uh, Good luck?"

"I don't need luck... But thank you."

"Aren't you worried a god will try to stop you or something?"

"Really? I'm probably the strongest creature in this dimension. I bet I could conquer everyone without even trying."

"Ren, I think you're overestimating your abilities."

"What? I've destroyed an entire city by eating it and burning it to the ground. How am I overestimating my abilities?"

"I'm fairly sure someone would come up with a missile or something to prevent you from... Wait, did you say you ate an entire city?"

"Not important. What are you saying?"

"Have you considered that there might be countermeasures in case you attack?"

Actions.

>Laugh. She's hilarious.
>...If there are, why wouldn't they of used them already?
>How would you counter me? I'm a big fucking dragon. Rest in peace anyone else.
>By the way, for the record my religion is a religion of peace.
>...By the way, I am not a megalomaniac.
>Can you admit the world would at least be a better place under my glorious rule?
>Come on, let's get back in the car...
>Write-In

>>652950
>Laugh. She's hilarious
Don't you love it when weak mortals think they can stand against you?

>>652950
>...If there are, why wouldn't they of used them already?
>How would you counter me? I'm a big fucking dragon. Rest in peace anyone else.

You start laughing. She's silly, thinking mortals can actually fight, let alone even muster up the courage to flee before you.

"What's so funny?"

"I-It's nothing... I-it's just hilarious that you mortals think you can defeat ME of all people." You wipe a tear from your eye. That was a good laugh.

"Seriously?"

"C-come on. Maybe back when I was a fledgling who could barely take out the Finnish Army, but now?! I am more powerful then you ever will be!" You let out another laugh.

"So uh, how did you get that eyepatch?"

You stop laughing

"...The only mortal who could actually beat me. A Finnish sniper called the White Death."

"Wait, really?"

"I could of died if I wasn't lucky. That man is the one man who could of actually killed me."

"...Seriously?"

"Yeah. I thank the gods that he works for me now."

"Right..."

"But seriously, if there are countermeasures to me, why haven't any mortals used them?"

"What if they target your wings or eyes? Those seem vulnerable and rather big."

"...That's true. But that takes a lot of firepower. And I'm a huge fucking dragon, there's few counters to that."

"But you expect people not to have come up with countermeasures."

"What would seriously counter me?"

"A nuke?"

"...That's... Actually, yeah. That could damage me. But it would be hard to nuke me."

"They could give you a poison or a disease that only harms you?"

"That would cost millions."

"I'm just saying."

"Anyways, why don't we get back to the surface?"

"Honestly, is it alright to be slightly concerned that you want to become a god?"

"Just a little."

"Good. So uh, I'm sort of curious. Why exactly do you have slaves?"

"Don't you have them in Sparta?"

"Well... Yes. I'm just curious on why you do. You could just pay servants."

Actions.

>...It's a dragon thing. I wouldn't look into it as much.
>Occassionally I crush someone or need someone to brush my teeth while in dragon form. And it costs a lot less to crush, accidentally dissolve, eat, or otherwise kill a slave than a servant.
>Well, I plan on getting rid of my servants and just replacing them with an army of slaves... My mom would love that. She loves slaves, you know?
>That's... True. But slavery is the lifeblood of being a dragon. And also they're good for property values.
>I was planning to abolish it once mom left, yeah.
>...Eh, maybe in the future I'll just have the planet as slaves. Have you read 1984?
>Write-In

>>653080
>Other
>Slavery just gives the proper image you know? Powerful tyrant, no-one can defeat me kind of stuff.

"Eh, Slavery just gives me the proper image, you know? Powerful, all conquering tyrant, no one can defeat me, that sort of thing."

"I can barely see where the ego begins and where it ends. It's nearly all-encompassing."

"Wow, thanks. You mortals actually do have weak egos in my opinion... But that's just me."

"I see. Well, why don't we get back into the car?"

"Sure thing."

After a few more hours of the kobold driving, your let out around the entrance where you came in a day ago. You wave to the driver and begin walking towards the gatehouse.

"Anyways, have you ever tasted Italian food? I mean, it's not really anything compared to butter, but it's a good change of pace."

"..I uh, mostly just eat Greek food. Salad, that sort of thing."

"Oh man, you're missing out. Try some butter some time. It goes good with everything."

"What's with you and butter?"

You naturally flex at this question.

"It's how I get my muscles."

"Come on, my muscles are better then your muscles."

"Seriously? You want to show off?"

"Yeah. Because I do have bigger muscles."

"Come on, Bessie. How wo-"

She begins to flex, and you note that the two of you actually have equal muscles.

"We're about equal."

"No, I'm fairly sure mine are bigger."

"Nope. We're equal."

"Then again, I have been out of shape... Let's just start getting back before someone questions why the two of us are flexing."

"...Flexing is fun though, Bessi-"
She grabs you and dangles you from your dwarven beard. Goddamn it...

Eventually after being dangled for a few minutes you come to the gatehouse and talk to the Legate for a bit, until your let loose into the underground.

"For the record, I have bigger muscles."

"We have equal, damn it..."

"Anyways, where are we going?"

Actions.

>Let's just head home, ok?
>...Let's see if we can head down to France. Didn't the ambassador say there's Skaven down there?
>Let's hunt down some Drow!
>...So uh, I sort of need to go down to France and go into a different dimension to see how my brother's doing. Want to come along?
>Write-In

>>653080
>>653118
+1

>>653159
>...So uh, I sort of need to go down to France and go into a different dimension to see how my brother's doing. Want to come along?

"So uh, I sort of need to go down to France and go into a different dimension to see how my brother's doing. Want to come along?"

"...What the fuck?"

"Don't believe me, do you?"

"Well... Yes?"

"Either way, you coming or not?"

"Well... I'd rather just get back home. I have things to do."

Actions.

>Come on, exploring another dimension? With me? And Flames? It's fun!
>Suit yourself. I'm going anyways, I'll meet you back at Stockholm.
>...What things do you have to do?
>Write-In

>>653368
>Come on, exploring another dimension? With me? And Flames? It's fun!

"Come on... Exploring another dimension? With me? And Flames? It's fun!"

She sighs slightly.

"...I hope it doesn't take long then. Come on, let's get going..."

Roll me a 1d20+2 for fortunes.

>>653498

Fuck

Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

Rolled 4, 9 = 13 (2d20)

>>653498
Trying my luck

12+2=14

Failure!

On the way to Paris, after a week of traveling underground and living off the remaining rations, you find that you're encroaching on Skaven territory, and to boot the caverns become smaller and denser, barely allowing any comfort... And most importantly, little defense to ambushes.

Actions.

>...You'll go through the Skaven territory. It's the fastest way to Paris, though the riskest.
>Fuck this, you'll go back to the Dwarven mountainhomes and fly back. This could take a long time however...
>Double fuck this, you'll burrow your way to Paris. Be warned that this could cause some serious damage to Paris if you fuck it up, though it'll be somewhat fast.

>>653655
Just fucking burrow. Who cares about Paris anyway.

You decide to burrow to Paris.

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see how much damage you cause to Paris.

>>653737

Rolled 5 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

I am the worst at this

Rolled 17 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>653737
Rolling to save paris

Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>653737
Kk

17+2=19

Good Success!

All your burrowing does is cut off electricity to a few houses and cause one unlucky homeowner to be below sea level, along with causing a slight lean on the Eiffel Tower and rupturing the ground around it, most likely giving groundskeepers a headache. Over all, you deal jackshit in damage to Paris. Wew.

After a little while you come to the Catacombs in France, and you shift down and begin to wander through it with Chrysoula...

Roll me a 1d20+2 for fortunes.

Rolled 17 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>653861
Ya boi with the lucky rolls...

17+2=19

Great Success!

The trip through the catacombs is... Uneventful. Chrysoula remarks that it smells like a sewer, and eventually the two of you get around to the place where that damned portal is... But you notice that there's some Skaven guards around it. About four ugly damned rats wielding rifles, and patrolling around the portal room. Some banners seem to be waving around the portal room, probably that of a Skaven clan.

"So uh, what the hell are we going to do?" Chrysoula says, as the two of you lean in from the doorway...

Current Form: Dwarven Form

Actions.

>...What else? We're going to charge in there and assault the rats with our fists! FOR SCOTLAND!
>...Why don't you go in and show me how a Minotaur takes care of some rats?
>Hold on, let's smoke them out... Shapeshift into your dragon form.
>...Maybe we can talk with them?
>You'll ambush them while I insult them with some traditional Sccottish insults!
>Write-In

>>653937
>Hold on, let's smoke them out... Shapeshift into your dragon form.
If the portal won't be damaged from it. If it will be:
>...Why don't you go in and show me how a Minotaur takes care of some rats?

"Hold on, let's smoke them out..."

You begin shifting into your human sized dragon form and get ready to breathe some fire.

Roll me a 1d20+5 for how effective a flamethrower is in close quarters.

Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>654018
It's not the flames, its the sudden lack of breathable air. Although that might apply for Chrys as well.

Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>654018
Come on Rngesus don't fail me now

2+5=7

Great Failure!

You unleash a mighty bout of... Smoke.

"Goddamn it..."

"That's it? Seriously?"

"Flames, work damn it!"

"That's all I had!"

The Skaven turn their attention towards you and start coming towards you.

"Don't worry, I got this."

"Hang on, I can get this to work..."

Chrysoula charges out there!

Roll me a 1d20+7 to see how effective Chrysoula is against rats.

Rolled 2 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>654092
They're rats, they can't be too hard.

Allowing samefagging on this roll.

Rolled 8 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

Yea boi!

Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>654092
Let's try not to die against a bunch of rats. Imagine the impact on our credibly I'd being unstoppable.

>>654195
I am actually a god.

Critical Success!

Chrysoula rushes into the room, picks up a Skaven by the tail, starts swinging it around into a fucking wall, and it explodes into giblets. The rest of the Skaven seem... Terrified by her smashing one of their friends into a bloody explosion, and she stomps on one of the skaven's head, exploding it. They begin to retreat but she charges with her horns, impaling one of them on her horns, and she brutally kicks the last skaven into the portal, while you hear a sickening crack of it's neck being broken.

"OH YEAH! ANYONE FUCKING ELSE!?" she yells to no one in particular... You come from the doorway.

Actions.

>That's... Another way of clearing out a bunch of skaven.
>Come on, we still have plenty more on the other side. A lot more then you can handle.
>...So uh, is it safe to say I should stop calling you Bessie?
>You did good work, Bessie. Now, come on.
>Don't get too excited. They were just Skaven.
>Write-In

>>654268
>That's... Another way of clearing out a bunch of skaven.

"Well... That's certainly another way of clearing out a bunch of Skaven."

"Yeah... Yeah. That felt good. So we're going through the portal now?"

"Yep. There's a lot more Skaven on the other side however."

"If they're like this bunch, then there's not really a problem."

"...Well, they're probably better armed. Oh, and you have a dead skaven stuck on your horns."

"Oh. Right." She tries to remove the dead Skaven from her horns.

"Want help?"

"No, I got it..." She slides the skaven off and the corpse flops the floor.

"Well, let's go through it then!"

"Got it."

You go through the portal...

Roll me a 2d2 anons.

Rolled 2, 2 = 4 (2d2)

>>654378
Rolling a 2d2

The two of you end up in the same dimension, and you see a... Huge horde of Skaven in front of you. Oh, and you seem to be stepping in dead Skaven. That's nice. The cave seems to be wet, as there's practically water everywhere... Luckily you and Chrysoula seem to be in a dry spot.

"Ren? That's a LOT of Skaven."

"Really? I couldn't tell."

The skaven begin to point rifles at you... And seem to be pissed off. There seems to be about seventy of them, great.

"...Can you turn into a larger dragon and stomp on them?"

"Are you crazy? By the time I start doing that they'll just shoot me and you!"

Actions.

>...Shit, maybe they understand surrender?
>...There's one way out, and that's to go deeper! Grab Chrysoula and start digging!
>It's the best chance you got! Become larger!
>Hold on, you haven't tried fire yet! Breathe fire!
>...What happens if you cast a spell? (Cast Spell)
>...Pheromones!
>Well, you don't really need an eyepatch... Take it off.
>...Khorne? You there?
>Write-In

>>654448
>Well, you don't really need an eyepatch... Take it off.

>>654448
>>...Pheromones!
Fear pheromones. Make them want to run away.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Rage!
2=Pheromones!

Roll me a 1d20+4 to scare them. Additional +2 if you can do a good threat.

Rolled 17 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>654561
"Hah, rifles! It will take more to kill me!"

17+4+2=23

Good Success!

"Really? Rifles? You expect that to take down a dragon!? It will take more then that to kill me!"

Your fear pheromone spreads out throughout the Skaven, and they seem a little distracted, some lower their rifles and turn away. You doubt anyone would actually notice if you grew just a little...

Actions.

>...Idea, what if you continue making them afraid of you, and grew slowly? That would make anyone turn tail and run. (Intimidation)
>Just grow silently. No need for attention.
>Motion for Chrysoula to sock one in the face. Maybe they'll get the idea to leave you and your companion alone.
>...Wait, a pool of water? Rats? Conductivity? Science!? Shock bolt! (Evocation)
>...More pheromones! Double the dosage!
>Cast a spell.
>Write-In

>>654958
>>...Idea, what if you continue making them afraid of you, and grew slowly? That would make anyone turn tail and run. (Intimidation)
Sounds like a plan QM.

Roll me a 1d20+10. Samefagging allowed.

Rolled 12 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

20 here i come!

Rolled 15 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>655120
There is no god like the dice gods!

15+10=22

Great Success!

You begin shifting slowly... The Skaven don't really notice until they see a shadow looming overhead, and they turn to see you.

"Boo."

The Skaven turn to flee while you stomp on a handful of them, and Chrysoula seems a little shaken up.

"Something wrong?"

"N-No. Just feels a little chilly."

"Oh, sorry. Sometimes being around me can cause bouts of lust and fear."

You turn around and breathe a short bit of ice breath towards the Skaven, freezing a few solid. That'll teach those pesky mortals to mess with you...

"There should be a Skaven city not too far uphead. Past that is the dwarven halls... And a Karak which I of course, took over."

"Karak? What's that?"

"A very, very old dwarven settlement."

"...Huh."

"So, want to go through Ratland and to my personal dwarven estate, or just burrow up to the surface?"

"Why are you asking me? I'm here to see what the fuck this place is all about. Though a dwarven estate does sound interesting."

Actions.

>...Come on, I need to trim down on the local Skaven population.
>We'll burrow around the Skaven settlement and just head to my Karak, alright?
>Let's just burrow up to the surface. I'm not wasting time...
>...So uh, just saying that you might be confused for a Beastman by some mortals... So expect people not to like you.
>In case you hear any whispering or thoughts of debauchery, or start coughing up pus, contact me immediately. There's heresy about...
>Write-In

Anons? Feels like a very slow day today.

>>655226
>>We'll burrow around the Skaven settlement and just head to my Karak, alright?

>>655226
Sorry. I'm posting between rush periods at work.
>...So uh, just saying that you might be confused for a Beastman by some mortals... So expect people not to like you.

"We'll burrow around the Skaven settlement and just head to my Karak, alright?"

"Got it."

"Oh, and uh... Sorry to say, but people might confuse you for a Beastman... So expect mortals to try and kill you."

"...Wait, wh-"

You begin tunneling loudly and after nearly an hour, you dig into the Dwarven hallways.

"Ren!?"

"Huh? What?"

"What the hell is a beastman?"

You shift back to a dwarven form and walk alongside Chrysoula.

"...That's going to be hard to explain."

"What exactly are they?"

Actions.

>...Imagine you, but smaller, weaker, generally assholes, and enjoy cannibalism.
>Well, they're a blight on this world. And in my honest opinion, should all be purged. Along with the Skaven.
>They're... Misunderstood, let's just say that. They're mostly bad and douchebags, but there might be a good one. Or two.
>That's not important. What is important is that we make you look... Humanish.
>People who like eating babies. That's as much as I know, anyways.
>Write-In

>>655843
>>...Imagine you, but smaller, weaker, generally assholes, and enjoy cannibalism.
So uh, stick next to me.

"Well, just imagine you, but smaller, weaker, generally assholes, and enjoy cannibalism. So stick next to me, alright?"

"Right..."

You begin traveling down the Dwarven hallway, Chrysoula seems to be somewhat in awe of what you see, such as the occasional waterfall or massive chasm.

"First time in the Dwarven halls?"

"Well, yeah... By the Gods."

"Yeah, come on."

After an hour or two more of traveling, you eventually come to the split. One way being caved in now. You follow the now linear path, but you hear a yawn from Chrsyoula.

"Ren? We've been traveling for hours."

"So? We're almost there."

"Some of us need sleep. And we're starting to run low on food."

You can't help but sigh...

"...Fine, I suppose."

"Thanks, Ren."

After a few minutes you have a small fire going, and Chrysoula begins to get ready to go to sleep.

"So, how was your first day in this dimension?"

"It was... Interesting."

"I bet it was."

"Honestly, I'd love to explore more, but I'm fucking exhausted. We've been traveling for a week or two now."

Actions.

>...Hey, just curious... Would you mind if I squeezed in with you? I'm cold.
>Yeah, aboveground is knights, demons, that sort of thing. It's pretty cool.
>So uh, you're probably wondering who my brother is, right?
>...I'm going to sleep now. I'm also exhausted.
>Hey uh, Flames? Would you like to talk to Chrysoula a little?
>Just wondering, you know that Frankizka is a vampire, right? And she comes from this dimension?
>Write-In

>>655935
>>Just wondering, you know that Frankizka is a vampire, right? And she comes from this dimension?
>Hey uh, Flames? Would you like to talk to Chrysoula a little?

"Just wondering, you know Frankizka is a vampire, right? And she comes from this dimension?"

"Come on, everybody knows vampires aren't real. She's probably just faking it to make herself look more exotic."

"She is."

"If I could speak German or any other language besides Greek, I'd ask."

"I see."

Hey, Flames? Want to talk to your wife?

Huh? Sure!

You give him control of your body for a little bit, and he starts cuddling with Chrysoula, talking together, that sort of thing.

So uh... Where are we?

You're still here?

Well, yeah. But I feel a lot weaker... Like a mortal. No offense.

...Weaker?

Yeah.

I'll keep that in mind.

So uh, Chrysoula and Flames are uh...

They are what?

They're lovers, right?

Yeah.

No offense, but that's kind of weird.

What's weird?

You know, having a second head doing the moves on someone else that you don't love.

...It's not weird. It's perfectly normal.

Well... I don't have a second head that talks to me. So yeah, that's kind of weird

Actions.

>...Well, uh... Let's talk about something else. Flames might overhear and try to beat the shit out of you somehow.
>It's not weird. Come on...
>You get used to it.
>So uh, you aren't mortal here, are you?
>...If it makes you feel better everyone but Flames thinks it's degenerate and fucking weird.
>Write-In

>>656049
>...If it makes you feel better everyone but Flames thinks it's degenerate and fucking weird.
But hey, I've never let social convention stop me.

>>656049
>...If it makes you feel better everyone but Flames thinks it's degenerate and fucking weird
>...Well, uh... Let's talk about something else. Flames might overhear and try to beat the shit out of you somehow.

If it makes you feel better everyone but Flames thinks it's degenerate and fucking weird.

Really?

Yeah, even Khorne thought it was fucking degenerate.

Yeah... It's uh, weird. Why exactly did you let him have a girlfriend anyways?

Why are you asking?

Eh, he talks and boasts about her a lot. It's kind of annoying.

If you want, I can get him to stop boasting and talking about it.

Nah, it's kind of funny. Flames is acting like that nerd who just got a girlfriend and is rubbing it in my and Khorne's face.

Really?

Yeah. Khorne laughs at him and shit, it's fucking hilarious because Flames yells back at him a fuckton.

Jeez. Didn't realize he was boasting and trying to rub it in.

The way he does it is pretty sad though, he's not even good at it.

Actions.

>I feel bad for him now. Thanks.
>Wait, Flames is talking to Khorne?
>I'll start giving him shit about it. Sounds like fun.
>What's your opinion of Chrysoula? Besides Flames talking shit.
>Honestly, I'd rather he court someone a little less... Well, you know. Furred?
>...He hasn't rubbed it in my face.
>I'm going to sleep now.
>Write- In

>>656102
>>...He hasn't rubbed it in my face.
>I'll start giving him shit about it. Sounds like fun.

He hasn't rubbed it in my face.

That's cause you don't give him shit about it. It's fucking hilarious to see his reaction.

Really? I'll try giving him shit about it. Sounds like fun.

Cool. Try it now, it'll be fucking hilarious.

Why?

He's cuddling with his wife or whatever. It'll be fucking hilarious to see him just go ballistic all of a sudden. Bonus points if you get Chrysoula to wake up from his shouting.

Actions.

>...That's kind of a dick move. I'll just save it for later. He's relaxing.
>If you'll excuse me, I'll be making fun of him now.
>Will you help me?
>...I'm going to bed, Fenrir.
>Write-In

>>656135
>If you'll excuse me I'll be making fun of him now.
Shit talking is best past time.

It's like one giant skype call with Australians.

If you'll excuse me, I'll be making fun of him now.

I'm going to fucking listen in. Don't disappoint me, ok?

I won't. Hey, Flames?

Your body blinks it's eyes slowly.

Huh? You need something man? Thanks for letting me rest with Chrysoula tonight.

Actions.

>...How does it feel to be a furry, you fucking degenerate? Are you going to start wearing a fucking fursuit or tail around the house?
>So it's pretty much agreed by everyone that you're a disappointment to mom, I'm sorry to say.
>I can't believe my second head is mentally incapable of telling a human being and a minotaur apart. Good job.
>So, how's getting laid going for you?
>Do you like your girlfriend because you like soft pillows or because you have a thing for cows? Man, I didn't think eating so many cattle would make my second head have a fucking thing for them... Or is it both?
>Erh... Can you act really offended? Fenrir wants me to shit talk you.
>...Actually, nevermind.
>Write-In for shit talking.

>>656225
>Do you like your girlfriend because you like soft pillows or because you have a thing for cows? Man, I didn't think eating so many cattle would make my second head have a fucking thing for them... Or is it both?

Angry flames in 3...2...1...

So, just curious... You like your girlfriend because you like soft pillows, or because you have a thing for cows? Man, I didn't think eating so many cattle would make my second head have a fucking thing for them... Or is it both, you like sleeping with fucking cow pillows? That's pretty sad...

What? Are you talking shit about me and Chrysoula!?

Well, yeah, you fucking recluse?

What the fuck!? Seriously?! I thought you didn't have a problem with her!

Well, turns out I do.

I fucking hate all of you cunts. You, Fenrir, and Khorne. Stop fucking making fun of me and my wife! You're... You're just jealous you fucking bags of shit.

Why would I be jealous of fucking a cow?

Flames begins to get out of the sleeping bag with Chrysoula.

SHE IS NOT A FUCKING COW!!!

The science community would like to talk to you about that...

WELL YOU HAVE A FUCKING THING FOR SCALES YOU FUCK! STOP SHAMING ME YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!

Actions.

>Calm down, ok?
>At least I'm not dating food. Good job, Flames. Really making mom proud here.
>Have you ever wondered why people give you strange looks whenever you hug or walk with Chrysoula, holding hands? It's because it's fucking weird.
>I don't have a thing for scales, you fuck!
>You sound like a fucking idiot, Flames. Shut the fuck up and go back to bed.
>You know, I'll always have twice the women you do. And they aren't cows.
>If it makes you feel better, I could just get someone to make a body pillow of a fucking minotaur for you. I mean, at least you won't smell like cow in the morning...
>Write-In

>>656225
>Can you get offended? Act like I said "How does it feel to be a furry, you fucking degenerate? Are you going to start wearing a fucking fursuit or tail around the house?"
>I may or not mean it.

>>656325
>If it makes you feel better, I could just get someone to make a body pillow of a fucking minotaur for you. I mean, at least you won't smell like cow in the morning...
>Also I'm a dragon. I'm fucking covered in scales.

If it makes you feel better, I could just get someone to make a fucking body pillow of a minotaur for you. At least you won't smell like cow in the morning...

"THAT'S FUCKING IT! I'M ALWAYS FUCKING INSULTED WHILE THE REST OF YOU CUNTS CAN'T EVEN FUCKING PLAN SHIT OUT!"

Flames is at this point, yelling outloud. Chrysoula is beginning to wake up...

Just so you know, I'm a fucking dragon. I'm covered in scales.

YEAH... Well... Yeah. Shit.

See? He's terrible at this shit.

Fuck you all...

Fuck me like you did to Chrysoula?

You know what? Fuck it. If you don't want her around, why don't you tell her you fucking douchebag?

Actions.

>...Fuck off, Flames. I'm going to sleep.
>You know what, I think I will. Fuck you.
>...We're just shittalking you Flames. Stop talking it personally.
>You're bluffing. You wouldn't let me kick her out.
>Wow, I knew you were beta... But this beta?
>I would never do that to someone you love, Flames.
>Write-in

>>656458
>Wow, I knew you were beta...But this beta
>Oh by the way just shittalking. Thanks for getting pissed so easily it was fun to watch.

>>656458
>...We're just shittalking you Flames. Stop talking it personally.
>I would never do that to someone you love, Flames.
>*wink*

>>656458
>>656489
Add in a
>Besides if Chrysoula wasn't around it wouldn't be as easy to fuck with you. It'd be easy. But not as easy.

>>656497
What the fuck is the wink supposed to represent? Or am I just clueless?

Wow, I knew you were beta as shit... But this is the definition of beta.

"I'M NOT A FUCKING BETA YOU SCRUBLORD!"

Chrysoula begins to wake up.

"...Flames, what are you yelling about?"

We're just shittalking you Flames. Thanks for getting pissed so easily, it was fun to watch... And besides, if Chrysoula wasn't around it wouldn't be as easy to fuck with you. It'd be easy, but not as easy.

"You cunts! I fucking hate it when you do this..."

"Flames? Who are you talking to?"

"Huh? I'm uh... Just the guys."

"You're yelling at the wind. And you look angry."

"...Just give me a hug, damn it."

He falls onto Chrysoula with a thud.

Fuck you guys. I'll get my revenge. One day.

Right... Wink wink, right?

By the time you say that, Flames has fallen asleep.

See? Easy as cake.

Yeah. Thanks for the fun time, Fenrir.

No problem.

Actions.

>...You don't think he's serious about the whole revenge thing, right?
>Fuck, we should find more things to anger him. It's fun.
>...I feel a little bad though. Mostly about calling Chrysoula a cow.
>So, just curious... Does Flames talk about me at all? You know, what does he think of me?
>...I don't want to do this again. Flames gets pissed off easily.
>Write-In

>>656606
>Fuck we should find more things to piss him off. It's fun.
>I feel bad about calling Chrysoula a cow though.

Flames salt is best salt.
Fire salt always.

Wink was to make flames doubt if we were telling the truth
>>656606
>...I feel a little bad though. Mostly about calling Chrysoula a cow.

Fuck, I feel bad about calling Chrysoula a cow... But we should find more things to piss him off.

Yeah. Anyways, I'm grabbing some shut eye. Night.

Yeah...

After a few hours you wake up, and notice that... You aren't in control of your body. What?

Flames, give me control of my body now. I gave you a night's rest with her.

Yeah, fuck you. You've been a dick recently. So no.

...Seriously?

Deal with it. This making me call my wife Horny. I'm going to see our brother without you, ha!

...Seriously? He's my brother.

Yeah? And he's mine! Sort of. I'm not really sure on the relationship... But uh, yeah! Suck it!

Seriously, just give me my body back.

Fuck no. You called Chrysoula a cow, gave her some shitty nicknames, and made me pissed off. Now YOU get to see what it's like, being the second head! Being stuck in there, for hours!

Actions.

>...Fine. I'm interested on how this goes. (PoV switch to Flames.)
>Start laughing. He won't last a single fucking day in your shoes.
>Erh, right. You do realize I get to sleep in, right?
>Have fun then, you crazy idiot.
>...Give me control of my body or you'll never spend another day with Chrysoula.
>...Listen, sorry for acting like a dick, but I need to see my brother.
>...When I get out of here, I will make sure you are as uncomfortable as can be.
>Write-in

>>656741
>You do realize that since I don't have to control my body or anything I can focus solely on talking shit. You really want me to talk shit for hours on end?

He better be ready.

You do realize that since I don't have to control my body or anything I can focus solely on talking shit. You really want me to talk shit for hours on end?

I'll just ignore you then.

What? No you can't. Come on. You're living with a cow of a wife...

Flames humms loudly as he wakes up Chrysoula and begins his day walking...

God, this is fucking boring already. At least when you had control of your body you could do shit like walk or talk...

Fenrir? Are you awake?

All you hear is snoring from him... This is like your personal hell. Nothing to do but talk to someone who won't listen. You'll go mad in here!

After just watching Flames and Chrysoula walk and talk... Which is what YOU do, damn it, you find yourself bored. Nothing to do... At all. You even tried shittalking to him and all Flames responded with is silence and fucking humming.

Actions.

>...You can tolerate a few hours of doing nothing. (Timeskip)
>...Hey uh, Flames? Could you shift into your half-dragon form? I need something to do.
>Try to ruin his day by shittalking louder.
>...Fenrir, get your ass up. I need to do SOMETHING.
>Test the waters. Flames, do you think renaming my country is a good idea? I think Sweden is a little outdated...
>...This may be a good time to do what Flames does. Which is plan the shit out of things. Like taking over Spain, or some other irrelevent and pathetic country.
>Write-In

>>656849
>Fenrir get up! We need to shittalk flames.

>Shit talk heavily.

The bigger the burn the better.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can bypass his shield of contempt. Additional +2 for any good insults.

Rolled 20 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>656879
>You know flames it's bad enough that you're dating a cow. But you're a fucking beta to a cow. I know humans whip cattle but I didn't think a cow could whip a dragon like Chrysoula has whipped you.

File: giphy.gif (605 KB, 512x588)

605 KB GIF

>>656897
Well I think flames is gonna need some mental salve for that emotional burn.

File: TooMuchGas.gif (1011 KB, 144x127)

1011 KB GIF

>>656897
ABSOLUTELY TRIGGERED ANONS

>>656919
I'm gonna need a fucking warehouse to store all the salt.
Ren is #1 shittalker.

Flame's gonna need a trip to the burn ward for weeks

Critical Success!

You know Flames, It's bad enough that you're dating a cow. But you're a fucking beta to a cow. I know humans whip cattle, but I didn't think a fucking cow could whip a dragon like Chrysoula could whip you.

Flames goes still. He takes a deep breath, and looks angry, angrier then a Khornate who didn't get a axe for Khornemas.

I WILL FUCKING BEAT YOUR SHIT IN YOU SON OF A BITCH! I WILL PERSONALLY GRAB YOUR SHIT AND TOSS IT INTO A WALL OF SPIKES AN-[/i

He goes into a verbal assault outloud, which creeps out Chrysoula a little, and she backs away slowly from the angry Flames, who is angrily ranting, throwing his arms around, that sort of thing. She asks if he's alright but he starts shouting obsecenties at her, telling her to fuck off and to "get a life". She storms off, angry. He continues ranting until he runs out of energy and collapses to his knees, alone.

I... I fucking hate you so much... I would strangle you if I could.

Right. Until you accidently got so angry that you pissed off your girlfriend.

T-that's your fault. Now... Just fuck off. I don't need any more of your shit. I-I'll get her back.

I uh... I think you took it a little too far, Renexizious.

Actions.

>...Give me control of my body and you won't have to deal with my shit-talking.
>I'm a bit sorry this went a little far, but you escalated it by taking my body.
>...I'll stop but you'll have to insult your wife, ok?
>...She's left you for good. Maybe you should find another cow to marry?
>No. You know that I'm right.
>Shit talk him more until he falls apart. He's vulnerable.
>Write-In

>>657029
>I'm sorry it went this far, but you escalated it by taking my body. Now let me get my body back. I'll try to put in a good word for you cause I'll assume she doesn't want to talk to you right now.

Listen, I'm sorry for burning you so hard, but you escalated it by taking my bod-

You escalated it by calling my wife a fucking cow, insisting that I call her Horny, and all that... That other shit!

Don't interrupt me. Give it back, and I'll try and put a good word in with you, because I assume she doesn't want to talk to you right now.

Fuck off! I-I'll get this done without your fucking help... Maybe I'll insult your brother, eh?! How would you like it?!

Actions.

>Flames, calm down... Just give me back my body.
>...You asked for it. Begin shit talking him.
>...I'm sorry, alright? I just wanted to have some fun.
>...Insult my brother? He'd assume you're joking around.
>Write-In

>>657080
>First of all she didn't care about being called horny. You're the one that made it weird.

>And well honestly I don't give a fuck. You just get pissed too easily flames. Plus he'd think you're joking around.

>So just take my help damnit.

>>657108
First of all, she didn't care about being called Horny! You're the one who made it weird.

She didn't even know what it meant! Then you forced me into saying it!

...So? And honestly I don't give a fuck if you insult my brother. You just get pissed off too easily Flames. Plus he'd think you're joking around... So take my help, damn it.

You're a douchebag, so fuck off. I'm doing this without you.

Goddamn it... Fenrir, who should be in control of my body?

Wait, why am I being dragged into this?

Because so far you've been silent about him stealing my body!

And you got my wife to fucking leave me!

Uh... I'm just gonna... Let's uh...

Say something already!

I think both of you are borderline autistic in your own rights. And I think the two of you should calm down. Maybe I should be in control until the two of you sort out your feelings?

Actions.

>...Listen, if you help me get Flames out of my body, I'll uh... I'll let you eat more things?
>That's a really, really bad idea. But you had a good play.
>Flames, I have one thing you don't. Charisma. People skills. And pheromones.
>Fuck it. I'd rather be on equal ground with Flames then just yell at him...
>How the fuck are we borderline autistic?
>Fenrir, we're friends. Help a friend out and get Flames out of my body, please?
>You know what Flames? I'll give you a single day in that form since you want it so bad.
>Write-in

>>657177
>Actually you know what. Go ahead and have this form for a single day. Now go ahead and use your amazing people skills to fix this.

I wish to see him crash and burn.

Actually, you know what? Have this form for a single day. Now go ahead and use your amazing people skills to fix this.

Fine! I will!

Flames begins run to find Chrysoula... After a little bit he finds her.

"Chrysoula! I'm so sorry! Renexizious was ca-"

"I don't want to hear it, Flames."

He sighs a little.

"Listen, I'm sorry for calling you a cow and a bitch... But I'm really frustrated right now. Come on, give me another chance,."

"How could you call me a cow and a bitch?"

"Ren called you a cow, and that I was a slave to you. I was... Really, really angry."

"I know you get angry, but I doubt Renexizious would call me a cow."

"H-He did though! I can't prove it, but he's been making fun of me and you since last night."

Actions.

>...Annoy him, maybe get him into one of his angry rants by shit talking him.
>Leave him be.
>...Give him some advice in order to apologize to Chrysoula.
>Write-in

>>657240
>Leave him be.
If only we had some metaphysical butter to enjoy while we watch.

Anons, roll for how well Flames can recover with Chrysoula. 1d20+4

Rolled 11 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657265
Is it wrong that I'm praying for a Nat 1?

Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657265
Yes
>>657279

Couldn't have planned it better myself

File: images.jpg (6 KB, 300x168)

6 KB JPG

>>657307
>Flames said he didn't need our help.
>Crit fails at calming down his wife.

I am pleased by this.

I feel kinda sad for Flames now

>>657332
I don't.

File: 1456268194128.gif (2 MB, 300x300)

2 MB GIF

>>657302
Damn.

Critical Failure!

"Seriously? Now you're blaming Renexizious?"

"It's true!"

"...That's pathetic. You're lying."

"He told me to call you Horny, a-"

"Seriously? I don't really care about that. You're making a big deal out of this."

"But he called you a cow!"

"I don't like that. But I doubt he did... But you did, Flames. How could you?"

"I-I wasn't... I wasn't thinking, Chrysoula."

"Really? You were ranting and raving for no reason. Twice. Then you called me a cow. A cow!"

"Listen, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Really? Really!? You expect me to forgive you for calling me a cow?"

"I'm... I'm begging you. I'm sorry, Chrysoula. Renexizious w-"

"There you go again, blaming your friends. What, was it somesort of challenge to court me? Did you want to live up to Renexizious?"

"Wh-what?"

"You barely see me, Flames. Then you call me a cow and a bitch!"

"I'll make it up to you. I'll... I'll..."

"You better. Until then, I won't even consider myself friends with you."

"W-what? Come on, dear..." He tries to put his hand on her but she shoves his hand off.

They begin walking far apart for the next thirty minutes... Flames seems to be close crying out of despair and regret and seems to be stunned of what happened.

So, need my help now?

I... What?

Actions.

>Good job, some real people skills right there.
>Well... You still have twenty-three hours and thirty minutes left. Make me proud, Flames.
>Oh man, I'd love it if you could start crying in front of your wife. Get that image of manhood complete, son.
>...If it makes you feel better, I feel really bad for you.
>Wow, she just doesn't want to consider the two of you engaged anymore and now you're nearly crying? Beta.
>If you want... I can help. Just give me my body back.
>Write-In

>>657419
>If you want... I can help. Just give me my body back.
Holy shit posting on pc is much better than mobile

>>657419
>Well you got 23 hrs and 30 minutes left. Good luck dude. Unless you want my help of course.

I know that feel famalam. Mobile sucks.

If you want to, I can help. Just give me my body back.

N-No... I... I just need to do something special... Flower? She likes flowers... No, that's cliche...

Well uh, you got twenty three hours and thirty minutes left. Good luck. Unless you want my help.

...N-no. I can do this...

The two of them get into the Dwarven Karak, which seems abandoned and looted. They begin to pick around, while Flames seems to be trying to make something... Romantic in a dwarven bar.

Roll me a 1d20+4

Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657446
Just need another 1.

Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657446
Let's try for a lower number

Rolled 16 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657446
Let this 20 make up for my 1

18+4=22

Great Success!

Unlike last time with his terrible sense of words, Flames seems to be trying to brew a very strong drink, and drinks it down. He makes another one which he puts on the table, and begins searching throughout the Karak for fancy stuff to probably make some fancy dining thing for his wife. He returns, and begins setting up the bar to be much more fancy, ornate rugs, golden mugs, and he even found a rather dashing necklace with a sword and diamond in it... He's probably trying his best, to make it up to Chrysoula... You also note he's shapeshifted into half-dragon form so he can get an aerial view... Chrysoula seems to be picking around for what happened to the dwarves living here.

Actions.

>...Maybe you can ask Khorne to help you make Flames crawl back to you?
>...Distract him with shit-talking. Maybe he'll mess something up.
>No, leave him be. His mistakes are more funny if it's natural.
>Maybe you should discourage him... Tell him this isn't fancy enough for a girl like Chrysoula and he'll give up or try to find something more fancy.
>...Oh, absolute dick move time. You're his second head... Breathe fire into the bar.
>Write-In

>>657457
>>657460
What's with this anti Flames attitude?

>>657489
>No, leave him be. His mistakes are more funny if it's natural.

>>657489
>Nah leave him be.
If he fails it must be natural.
>>657490
I don't hate him.
But firstly I want our body back and secondly his salt is delicious.

>>657489
>Leave him be, his mistakes are more fun when natural.

You leave him be, and he finds Chrysoula.

"Chrysoula, I-I uh, made you something you'd like."

She sighs.

"What is it?"

"It's a relaxing dining experience... Come on, please?"

"...I'm trying to find out what happened here."

"That can hold on a minute. I need you."

"...It better be worth my time."

Roll me a 1d20+4 for how well he does.

Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657511

Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657506
Just archived #30
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/624945/

>>657516
I think Flames might be the new Claw, since Claw is now barely on the spectrum.

>>657516
Dice God is crashing flames love life with no survivors.

What happened with Claw being some guy's reincarnation? I missed a lot of threads

The two of them go to the bar, and as soon as the door opens, she grunts angrily.

"Oh no, you are not going to try and get me drunk. That shit tastes terrible."

"What? I thought it would be relaxing."

"You just want to get in bed with me, don't you?"

"No! I'm trying to make it up to you!"

She throws him into the room, splashing alcohol all over him.

"I'm not a damned whore. Do something more uptight..." She slams the door angrily and stomps off.

"...Goddamn it! You fucking cunts... Wait, upright?"
He gets a spark of brilliance and after another hour, begins to rush to the surface with Chrysoula. He comes out to the surface and quickly shifts into YOUR dragon form, and fly towards Bretonnia while Chrysoula gets on his back... He eventually lands, shifts into your elven form, and tells Chrysoula to wait for him because he has to use the "restroom."

You only have eleven hours left, man.

I know...

He seems to sneak up behind a... Brettonian knight, taking a piss.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see how well Flames can knock out a knight.

Rolled 17 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657552
Poor Flames :(

Rolled 13 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657536
I think claw was autistic for a while
>>657553
This is still funny

>>657558
meant >>657553

17+4=21

Good Success!

Flames bashes the knight over the head and quickly starts taking his armor off, and attaching it to himself. He coughs a little bit and practices a more... Knightly voice.

"Huzzah! That should do..."

He goes up to the knight's horse and gets on it... It begrudgingly accepts him, and he begins to ride off towards Chrysoula...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if he can impersonate a knight decently. Also, continuing this tomorrow.

Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657553
Let's crash this like its the Malaysian airlines.

Rolled 17 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657571
Ok OP it'll give me time to prep some ones

Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657571
Hope he doesnt screw this 1 up

Could some one archive the Nazi Experimental quests please?

Flames rides around the corner and comes across Chrysoula.


"Hail fair maiden! Haveth ye seen any monsters in thine lands?"

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see how well this goes.

Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657618
Damn I didn't have time to prep my ones

Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>657618
Shit son. Time for some epic failure

>>657625
Or not.

>>657596
WHat do you suggest I put for the description?

>>657648
Too tired anon. Catching sleep. Othet anons can help while I snore.

>>657648
Mention the shittalk

>>657687
I don't pay attention to the were wolf quest so I have no idea what was going on

Sorry anons but I need to hit the hay as well. Werewolf Reich will still be up tomorrow

Can't get any sleep so posting an update.

Critical Success!

"Erh, who are you?"

"I am the fairest knight in thine realm! Come upon my steed!"

"Sorry, but I'm waiting for someone."

"Tis but take only a minute!"

"...Well... I suppose it would be interesting to ride a horse."

"Hoppeth on, maiden with fur!"

She tries to climb on behind him, but the horse neighs, and is being crushed by her weight.

"Would thine object to a leisurly stroll?"

"Well... Sure."

She jogs behind Flames as he rides the horse. The two of them. Of course the conversation shifts to who she's out with, etc. Then they start talking about emotions, why she should stay with Flames, shameless pandering, that sort of thing. Flames however does seem rather good at keeping up the facade and they part ways. Flames rushes back to the original spot and she approaches him.

"Oh, uh... Hey Flames."

"Is something wrong?"

"...Yeah. I think I might be a little hard on you."

"What?"

"Well... You tried your best back at the Karak, and you were rather emotional throughout our trip. Crying for a few moments."

"...I wasn't crying."

She sighs a little.

"Well, what I'm trying to say is that maybe I was a little too brunt with you."

"Thanks?"

"Yeah... So uh, can we go back to being spouses?"

He gives her a huge hug, and a kiss.

"Yes! We certainly can!"

"Oh, uh... I wasn't really expecting you to be that emotional." She pats him a little on the back.

"Well... I sort of pissed off Ren. I stay in this form a lot longer then I should of. So you might not see me again for a while..."

"I'll miss you."

"No. We still have ten hours left... I intend to make the most of it. And thanks for giving me a second chance."

"No problem."

They hug, for a bit too long... You realize this doesn't really require your interest, so you pass the time by idly thinking.

Would anons roll me a 1d20+13?

Rolled 4 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>657743
Going to school soon so I can't stick around.

Bumping.

Rolled 13 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>657743

Rolled 7 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>657743
I wonder what happens if we fail here.

13+13=26

Good Success

Eventually when you come back you find Flames and Chrysoula resting beside each other. You wake up Flames and tell him he had only two hours to remain with Chrysoula.

"Why don't you take control then?"

What? I thought you wanted my body, Flames.

"Listen, I'm worried I'm going to fuck up somehow."

I see... So uh, what were the two of you doing?

"Just some tumbling.. Now do you want your body or not"?

Actions

>Great... I probably smell like cow then.
>It's about time.
>I'm never giving you my body again, ok?
>Sorry for uh, well shittalking you.
>Come on, you won't fuck up. You have an hour left...
>Write In

>>658274
>Come on, you won't fuck up. You have an hour left...
>Sorry for uh, well shittalking you.

Come on Flames, you won't fuck up. You have an hour left, and... Well, I'm sorry for shit talking you earlier, ok?

"Really, oh, uh, thanks. Sorry for stealing your body earlier. It's honestly a lot of fun."

Actions

>Don't get used to it, ok?
>Well, that's nice. How do you deal with the crippling boredom in here?
>I'll see you in an hour.
>If you want we can take shifts. Like a rotation.
>Write In

>>658287
>How do you deal with the crippling boredom in here?

So uh, how exactly do you deal with the boredom of being in here?

"I uh, plan. Talk to Fenrir... Sometimes do d&d with him or myself."

Wait, what?

"I didn't say anything..."

I swear I heard you say you play d&d by yourself. That would be pretty sad.

"I don't, I swear."

Right... What to do?

"Try planning. We have a lot to do when we get home."

Actions

>That sounds good. Have fun, Flames.
>I'll just watch you. (Time skip)
>Nah... I'm going to talk with Fenrir. And maybe a god or two.
>Write In

Bump

>>658350
>I'll just watch you. (Time skip)

I'll just watch you then.

After an hour of watching Flames walk towards Mousilion, he releases control and gives it back to you. Which means you get to walk the rest of the way. After a day of travelling and coming across plenty of peasants and serfs which you avoid, you come to an I'll kept section of road, surrounded by burned down farms and blackened woods.

"Erh, Ren? What do you think happened here?"

"Bandits, Orks, really anything."

"Right."

You continue on until you come across a razed village, bodies still fresh everywhere. You note that a few of them seem to be soldiers, judging from their weapons and armor, and Brettonian men at arms lay not too far from them. On close examination, it seems the strange soldiers seem to be part of the eastern Empire... You don't recall the name though.

"What's with the burned down houses and stuff?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say Brettonia and The Empire was at war."

"Should we help?"

Actions

>...Impartially, maybe. I'd rather not take a side.
>What? Of course not.
>This may be a good chance to expand your Treasury. Pick through the ruins!
>Empire, of course. I like their suits.
>Brettonia, my brother's a vassal of it.
>You're implying I won't just conquer both of their tiny nations.
>Write In

>>658672
>You're implying I won't just conquer both of their tiny nations.

"You're implying that I won't just conquer their tiny nations."

"I thought we were here to see your brother?"

"Well, that too. But I like conquest, ok?"

"Right..? So uh, what's your brother like?"

"He's a bit moralistic, and he's not a dragon like me."

"I see. So uh, can we save the conquest for later?"

Actions

>You're no fun, you know that, right?
>Don't worry, I plan on doing it with my brother.
>...Just a little? Please?
>Fine. Maybe if I come back I'll conquer these mortals...
>...Just curious, would you help me if invaded these lands?
>Write In

Anons?

>>658736
>Just curious if I invaded would you help me.

I'm busy I'll be back to continue in a bit.

Amd damnit flames recovered.

"I"m just curious to see if I invaded this land, if you would assist."

"Well... I mean, we're friends. So I guess. I just fail to see how I would be very effective with helping you. I'm not sneaky. Or a mage or anything like that."

Actions.

>...Well, have you tried being sneaky? That would be entertaining.
>...That's a good point... Would you mind if I mutate you?
>Flames, would you be adverse to me making your wife a little more helpful in day-to-day tasks? As in mutation?
>You could guard me, I suppose.
>...Come on, I enjoy your company. And thanks for saying yes.
>You'd make a good strategist, I bet. Have you tried?
>...Well, if you want I could try to teach you magic.
>Write-In

>>658971
>...That's a good point... Would you mind if I mutate you?
What would flames think when he can't be a furry anymore?

"You know, that's a good point. Would you mind if I mutate you?"

"Erh, what?"

"You know. Mutate."

"That's uh... Well, that depends."

"How? It'll make you stronger, better, faster, and probably be able to breathe fire or something."

"...Well, I'd like to remain the way I am. Though it would be cool to be bigger and stronger, I suppose..."

Actions.

>Say no more. I got you covered.
>Any specifics?
>...So no glorious half-dragon minotaur?
>Just saying, I think you'd look better with scales.
>...Sorry, but you can already flex as well as me. So no.
>And here, I was thinking I could stop Flames from being a furry...
>Hold on, let me ask Flames...
>Write-in

>>658998
>...So no glorious half-dragon minotaur?

>>658998
...So no glorious half-dragon minotaur?
>Just saying, I think you'd look better with scales
If a Minotaur is half human half cow, would she be half dragon, quarter cow, and quarter human or a third of each?

"So no glorious half dragon minotaur?"

"No, sorry. I'd rather just be bigger, stronger, that sort of thing."

"Well... I think you'd look good with scales, just saying."

"...Thanks?"

"Yeah..."

Actions.

>...I'll look into it, then.
>Please? Seriously, you'd look amazing with scales...
>I mean, being bigger and badder is nice, but wouldn't you like the ability to breathe fire?
>Oh uh, I think we should talk about something else. Sorry.
>How much bigger are we talking about?
>Listen, I can't make you bigger and badder without giving you some scales...
>Fenrir, is there anyway I can get back at Flames for stealing my body for twenty four hours? I feel the need for revenge.
>Write-In

>>659038
>I mean, being bigger and badder is nice, but wouldn't you like the ability to breathe fire?
>Listen, I can't make you bigger and badder without giving you some scales...

>>659038
>I'll look into it then
>Also flames I distinctly remember Fenrir calling us both borderline autistic. We must plan our revenge.

"I'll look into it, but I can't make you bigger and badder without giving you some scales... And the ability to breathe fire and shit."


"I'd rather not have scales, alright? Though the ability to breathe fire does sound pretty fucking cool."

"...Cool."

Flames? You alright with me mutating Chrysoula?

Huh? I mean... I guess? Just don't make her a dragon or scaly or any one of your fetishes, ok?

...I'll keep that in mind. So uh, want to get revenge on Fenrir for calling us both borderline autistic?

Oh goddamn it, that's going to escalate and you know it.

Actions.

>...You're right, that's a stupid idea.
>Come on, please? It'll be cool.
>Just give me an idea. You don't have be involved in this.
>...I'll just shittalk him like usual.
>Write-In

Anons?

>Come on, please? It'll be cool.

>>659081
>You're really okay with being called borderline autistic? Come on it'll be cool.

Come on, please? It'll be cool...

We have more important things to do then grill Fenrir, alright?

Seriously? That's a buzzkill.

Just fucking talk to your brother already. That's why we're here.

...Are you really okay with being called borderline autistic?

...No, but... Goddamn it, fine. Just a little, ok?

Thanks.

Yeah... You fucking owe me.

Hey, Fenrir?

...What?

Actions.

>...How is it to basically be a fucking puppy with a eating disorder?
>Apologize for calling the two of us autistic, alright?
>I think you're a bit more of a furry then Flames is. I mean, you are a giant planet-eating wolf...
>So, how's your love affair with Odin going?
>Who's a good puppy? Who's your master, boy?
>Write-In

>>659202
>I think you're a bit more of a furry then Flames is. I mean, you are a giant planet-eating wolf...
>Sounds a bit like vore

>>659202
>How is it to basically be a fucking puppy with a eating disorder?

I think you're a bit more of a furry then Flames is. I mean, you are a giant planet-eating wolf... Sounds like vore.

...What's vore?

It's uh, when you have a "thing" for eating.

Thing? I'm fucking starving. I'd eat anything, honestly.

Because your basically a fucking puppy with a eating disorder?

You try living off nothing for a few centuries. It'd make anyone want to eat a planet.

I wouldn't.

Well, yeah. You aren't the size of the moon, now are you?

That doesn't matter, puppy.

Why are you calling me puppy? I'm a Norse god. Not really applicable to be a puppy.

Actions.

>...That sounds like a good nickname. Pup.
>...Goddamn it, this isn't fun if you aren't going into a rage. I'll be back.
>Come on, you have a thing for eating stuff. I watched you earlier...
>Hey, at least I have a wife instead... Make that two, actually. You don't have anyone, do you?
>Really? A moon is small-time shit. Call me when you become the size of a galaxy.
>Write-In

>Really? A moon is small-time shit. Call me when you become the size of a galaxy.

>>659245
>Wow I didn't know Norse Gods were so easy to trick. So first you gamble your freedom for fame. Then you get lock away by a fucking piece of fabric. And then you get trapped for centuries. Really impressive god here amazing stuff. You're really cut from different cloth.

Wow, I didn't know Norse Gods were so easy to trick. So first you gamble your freedom for fame. Then you get lock away by a fucking piece of fabric. And then you get trapped for centuries. Really impressive god here amazing stuff. You're really cut from different cloth, Fenrir.

Grr.... They fucking tricked me, damn it. It's not my fault that I got trapped in here.

Hit a nerve, did I?

I'd like to see you try to get out of here... Oh wait, you aren't a god, are you? You'd find it to be impossible.

I'm not a god YET.

As if any mortal actually could become a god. That's impossible.

Mortal? I am no mere mortal.

If you can die, you are a mortal. Simple as that... And keep in mind, you're calling the kettle black here with my "eating disorder" as you have a fetish for fucking butter. I bet you lather yourself in it every Sunday, eh?

Actions

>...Fuck off. You don't insult butter. That shit is off limits.
>Butter goes good with anything. And it's nutritious. Now fuck off.
>Try getting laid sometime, Fenrir. Better then being stuck in a prison until Ragnarok.
>Lather? That's a great idea, thanks. I'll make sure your watching while I lather myself in fucking butter from Ukraine.
>...Why so specific about lathering with butter? What, are you gay or something?
>...Seriously, I'm just going to fuck off now.
>Write-In

>>659275

>...Fuck off. You don't insult butter. That shit is off limits.
>Butter goes good with anything. And it's nutritious. Now fuck off.

>>659275
>Even if I can't break gleipnir I'm still not stupid enough to let myself get trapped by it. Great job on that by the way. And you call me borderline autistic.

There is no mercy with shittalk

Fuck off. You don't insult butter, that's off limits.

Hit a nerve, did I?

Well... Even if I can't break Gleipnir I'm still not stupid enough to let myself get trapped by it. Great job on that by the way. And you call me borderline autistic.

Coming from the guy who has nothing better to do but conquer the world?

That's not autistic. That's ambitious!

It's just another spectrum. If anything, you're a high-functoning autism... And a cuckold as well, I bet.

What?

What, I bet you enjoy watching Flames and Chrysoula get it on. I mean, you've been eyeing Chrysoula for a while...

I'm not a fucking cuckold! How dare you! And Chrysoula doesn't have NEARLY enough scales to be worth my time!!

You hear Fenrir start to laugh a little.

Actions.

>...Fuck it, I'm out of here. No more talking. No.
>...And you can't get laid, how about that?
>I'd kill you if you weren't a god.
>Flames, back me up!
>I dare you to say that to Chrysoula.
>...That's false as fuck. I have more then enough wives.
>Eyeing? If I've been eyeing anyone it's been Lorriana! I mean, golden scales? Blue scales? Imagine the kids!
>Write-In

>>659313
>Eyeing? If I've been eyeing anyone it's been Lorriana! I mean, golden scales? Blue scales? Imagine the kids!

>>659313
>Wow you're talking alot of shit about me being mortal considering you're a failure of a god. I mean I have more worshippers than you. Yours being zero by the way. You're trapped and only able to struggle against a cloth that happened because you wanted to look cool and I'm the loser here? At least I can go where I want to. Ican at least leave my room. What about you.

>>659334
Perhaps I took this a tad bit too far.

Come on, if I've been eyeing anyone it's been Lorriana! I mean, golden scales, white scales? Imagine the kids.

Really? All you've done is act beta as fuck around her. You got your own children to go out on a date with her!

Goddamn it! Revenaris fully knew what he was getting into, and it's not weird at all!

Fenrir continues to laugh while you can't help but feel extremely frustrated.

You know, you're talking some major shit about me being mortal considering you're a failure of a god. I mean, I have more worshippers then you. Yours being zero, by the way. You're trapped and only able to struggle against a cloth that imprisoned you because you wanted to look cool and I'm the loser here? At least I can go where I want to. I can leave my room. What about you?

Fenrir stops laughing.

Fuck off... That was centuries ago. And I'm getting out. And I don't think you'll be saying that shit once the end times come, asshole.

Actions.

>...Oh, right. Ragnarok. That shitfest where you're supposed to die in? And literally just that?
>I'm not beta as fuck, I'm the most alpha person you'll ever know!
>Can we just stop shittalking each other?
>Fine, maybe when I go back home I'll treat her to a nice restaurant... While you sit there and lament about how you're starving to death.
>By that comes I'll be as big as you. And probably be able to hand your ass to you.
>Write-In

>>659351
>...Oh, right. Ragnarok. That shitfest where you're supposed to die in? And literally just that?

>>659351
>Oh right Ragnarok. That shitfest where all your effort to escape is wasted because you die and literally just that? I'm gonna grab a front row seat and some butter to watch and you're right I won't be saying shit. I'll be too busy laughing

>>659357
Savage

Oh, right. Ragnarok. That shitfest where all your effort to escape is wasted because you die and literally just that. I'm going to grab a front row seat and some butter to watch and you're right, I won't be saying shit. I'll be too busy laughing at your demise.

That's... That's kind of low. I'd rather not be reminded of my fate, ok?

Actions.

>I'm just shit talking you. Don't worry about it, I'll find a way to keep you from dying. And eating my planet.
>You know, what would taste better? Ukranian Butter, or French butter? I hear great things about Ukranians and butter, but I don't think I like human stuck in my teeth...
>Just messing with you. I'll see you around.
>...You also forgot the part where nothing really gets done. And it's all for naught.
>If you're a high and mighty god, why don't you change it?
>Write-In

>>659368
>I'm just shit talking you. Don't worry about it, I'll find a way to keep you from dying. And eating my planet.

>>659368
>I'm just shit talking you. But seriously don't call me autistic. Don't call me a beta. And never call me a cuckold. Because then I start no holds barred shit talking.

I'm just shit talking you. But seriously, don't call me autistic. Or a beta. And never call me a cuckold. Because then I start no holds barred shit talking... But don't worry. I'll find a way to keep you from dying, and eating my planet.

You kind of went a little extreme, you know, expressing laughter at my demise.

...That was a little extreme, but you did call me a cuckold beta autist.

Yeah, but still...

I get it...

You go back to reality. For a few seconds.

So uh, just curious... What exactly are you going to mutate Chrysoula into?

Well, she wanted to be bigger, stronger, that sort of thing.

I know... But you aren't going to do anything like make her a dragon or some shit, right?

What, you don't want her as a dragon?

...I don't know if she'd be able to handle it... Besides, how big are you making her?

That remains to be seen.

Just don't make her large enough to premiere in monster movies, or the size of a house or something... Just make her like a foot or two bigger, ok?

Actions.

>...Well, I guess.
>Flames, why don't you want a giant minotaur as your wife?
>Beta. My wife is the same size as me and I don't have any problems...
>She's the judge of her own mutations, ok? Not you.
>...Let's talk about this once we can actually do it, ok?
>...You know, I was planning to ask Khorne if he wanted to help. You know, make your wife a Khornate beserker while we're at it... It sounds fun, no?
>Nothing will prevent my search for science, Flames.
>Write-In

>>659411
>She's the judge of her mutations.
>Don't worry though it won't be too extreme.

She's the judge of her own mutations. Just down worry, as it won't be too extreme.

Good... So uh, you don't actually think she's a cow, right? You've been making fun of her and the fact she's related to them.

Actions.

>...It's just meant to be a joke, ok?
>Flames, I could give a shit if you married a housecat, let alone a minotaur.
>...I'd prefer if she had scales. That's all I'm saying.
>...I know, you're just a fucking degenerate.
>You're so easy to offend...
>Write-in

>>659441
>Flames I don't ok. Every bit of shit talk I say is designed for maximum damage. It's not personal. It's war. Shittalk war.

Flames, I don't think she's a cow. Every bit of shit talk I say is designed for maximum damage though, and it's nothing persona. It's just war. Shit talk war.

Can you leave me out of it then? Or at least Chrysoula? Everyone gives me shit about it. And I nearly lost her...

I'll consider it.

You continue walking to Mousillion with Chrysoula.. After a little bit, you come up to the border, guarded by a handful of watchtowers, still apparently manned and flying the banner of Bretonnia.

You could try to rush past the border, just say fuck it and shapeshift to rush across, or burrow beneath it. Or walk like a normal person.

Actions.

>...You'll shapeshift and just fly to your brother's city. Whatever it was called.
>Burrow down. No need for attention.
>Rush across the border! You don't know if this is legal or not!
>You'll just walk calmly. Maybe you get asked a few questions, but who cares?
>Watchtowers of Bretonnia? Well... You feel like turning a few to cinders today. No doubt they're holding your brother back.
>Write-In

>>659473
>We will... walk. Maybe get asked a few questions but who cares?

You decide to walk calmly across the border, when you hear a knight ride towards you.

"Halt!"

You of course come to a stop, and the Bretonnian knight rides up to you, accompanied by a handful of other horsemen. Not knights, but soldiers all the same.

"What is it?"

"Firstly, what is this beastman doing in your company?"

"I'm not a man. I'm a woman."

"You all look the same..."

"She's civilized. Don't worry about her."

"Sure she is. Now, why are you crossing into Duke Richard's lands?"

"I'm his brother. Renexizious."

"I doubt it."

"Just point me towards him, alright?"

"The Duke is in the Ducal Palace inside the city."

"I see. Thank you."

"Carry on. If there is word that you or your companion have been causing trouble, you'll be drawn and quartered."

"...Gee, thanks."

The knight and his men leave you, and you continue into Mousillon.

It hasn't really... Improved. Too much. The swamp is still a deathly smell, and you feel water clogging up your boots. You actually hate this place still. However, the roads are a little bit better kept, and some of the swamp has been drained. Not too much, though. Just enough to be slightly less annoying.

Roll me a 1d20+4 for fortunes.

Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>659523
Revving my 1s

>>659534
Uh.
I was joking dice gods.
I didn't legit want a 1.

This is gonna go so bad.

Anons, use barbaric?

>Yes.
>No.

>>659542
Yes.
The answer is always yes to barbaric.

Roll me a 1d20.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>659558
God wills it.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>659558
Revving my 20s

16

You continue through on the dirt road, and after a hour of traveling through the damned swamp, you eventually see the city of Mousilion...
Which is slightly better then before. There's certainly less rubble, and as you approach you note the populace looks a lot less deformed then last time you came here. There's even armed guards, and the shantytown has slightly decreased in size... Huh. Of course the gate is wide open for anyone, and Chrysoula gets a lot, and you mean a lot of looks from the peasantry. She seems a little uncomfortable by this, but either way you enter the city. The Ducal Palace is in the skylight of the city, and the buildings and homes seem a lot more... Upkept. There's less of a smell of constant death and more of a smell of... Well, nothing in particular. Which is always a good sign.

"Hey uh, Ren? Can we get out of here?"

"People making you nervous?"

"Just a little. Lots of stares..."

Actions.

>...Come on, we're going to see my brother. I think you'll like him.
>...I think we should put an end to that, don't you think?
>Don't worry about it. When I get around to mutating you people will instead of looking on at you in hatred here, will look on you in fear.
>If you want, I can give you a hug or something.
>...They're peasants. Of course they're superstitious.
>...Maybe you should show one of them a lesson. I enjoy it when you punch things.
>Write-In

>>659593
>They re peasants of course they're superstitious.
>Come on we're going to see my brother. I think you'll like him.

"They're peasants. Come on, of course they're superstitious. besides, we're going to see my brother. I think you'll like him."

"Anything to get out of this sewer town... And also so people stop staring at me."

You approach the Ducal Palace after wandering a bit, and see that a handful of guards patrol around it. You of course, go up to the guard.

"I'm here to see Duke Richard, my brother."

"He's busy for the rest of the month, sir."

"What?"

"He's simply far too busy to talk to people who may or may not be his brother, sir."

"What the hell is with guards and not letting me into places?"

"That's what guards are for, sir."

Actions.

>...Tell him his big brother Renexizious is here, then.
>How busy is he nowadays?
>Just curious, does the Duke have any family?
>...Shapeshift. You won't deal with these mortal affairs.
>Let me in and I won't pommel you.
>Write-In

>>659643
>Tell him his big brother Renexizious is here.
>Shape shift
Dragon blooded.

You shapeshift to dragonblood form, which doesn't seem to do very much.

"Listen, just tell him his big brother Renexizious is here, alright?"

He nods his head and goes inside. After a few minutes the doors open, and the guard waves for you to go inside.

You enter a rather long sort of throne room, and see your brother Richard dressed in a rather courtly suit, and holding court. You approach, and bow.

"Hey, Richard? It's me."

You hear him snoring, slightly. You see a few signs of sleep deprivation, mostly bags under his eyes.

"...Richard? Wake up."

"Huh? What is it..."

"It's me. Renexizious."

"Huh? Oh..." He yawns heavily.

"...Yeah... Y-you can uh... Just have a free roam..." His head falls back down and goes to sleep.

"Richard!"

"What?! Are we under attack?"

"No. It's me."

"Huh? Oh... Uh, right... Sorry about sleeping... I'm exhausted."

"Why?"

"...Lots of nightmares recently. I'd rather not talk about them. But uh, why are you here?"

Actions.

>I'm here to say hi. And see how you're doing.
>Well, I heard you got vassalized by Brettonians. I'm here to fix that.
>Listen, why don't you get some sleep while and Chrysoula just roam around a bit?
>...I'm uh, curious about what you've been doing. If you need help, that sort of thing.
>Serioiusly? No party or anything? No welcome back celebration?
>...Just curious, do you have a wife yet?
>You need a break, Richard.
>Write-in

>>659757
>Why are you getting nightmares?

"Why are you getting nightmares, Richard?'

"It's... It's really hard to actually rule this place. I can barely find any time to rest or do anything else besides try to rule. "

"I see."

"...Honestly, if it wasn't for you wanting me to be here, I'd left already."

"Why?

"Stressful, not to mention boring at times and a fucking chore."

Actions.

>You get used to it, believe me.
>...If you want, I can get someone else to rule for you.
>I wouldn't of picked you if I didn't think you were up to the job.
>...Anything odd happen recently?
>Why did you become a vassal of Bretonnia?
>...Are you sure that's why?
>Write-In