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Oh shit nigger(s) it's the aftermath of Civ Thing and all the tribes who inhabitited the nondescript generic fantasy land has all been enslaved by The Kingdom ruling the aforementioned nondescript generic fantasy land.
Now they must either accept their fate or break out and free their own tribe. Other tribes optional.

Your current protagonist is the current Chief of the Barbarian Tribe: Hooded Bones. Your human tribesmen are being kept in the arena to entertain the Kingdom citizens while you and your skeletal tribesmen are being hunted down by paladins.

Currently you're in the middle of evading a squad of paladins, what do you do?

Roll 1d100, who gets the highest number is the picked action.

Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>625596
evade succesfully
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>625596
Punch self in face, get hype
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>625596
Hide in a dark and mysterious alley
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>625596
Throw some shit in their way to slow them down
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>625596

Pretend to be a pile of bones belonging to something that died ages ago in the catacombs
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

Climb and jump buildings assassins creed style
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>625596
Hide in the nearest hole
>>
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>>625618
Climbin n Jumpin
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>625641
Now you're stuck at the top of the building
Congratz
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>625641
Stay on the rooftop, see what they do.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>625641

Enter the building through the window, all sneaky like.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>625641
Do a triple frontflip all the way to safety
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>625641
Climb to the very top of the building. We might get a good view of the city.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>625641
Surrender.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>625641
At the top, your constituents are waiting for you. A plan to take down the kingdom's oppression is well underway.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>625641
jump down into a haystack on the other side
>>
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>>625649
YOu can hear them yelling about getting into the building to pursue you
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>625676
You write a note to leave them for once they get in the building.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>625676
Trick worked!
Now go back outside and hide in shadows while they looking in building
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>625676
shut window behind you and block it with a big rock.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>625676
Loot and flee to next window
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>625676
Wait for them to climb all the way up to you to jump to the nearest building
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>625676
Wait a while, then climb back out when all the paladins have entered.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>625676
Inside is a secret group of skeletons assembled to break the barbs out.
>>
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>>625682
Hm, you don't have anything to write or write on, maybe something in this room would help
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>625707

Lockpick the chest and check for valua... i mean anything that might help
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>625707
check the chest
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>625707
check inside the desk
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>625707
Loot chest
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>625707
Punch self first
>>
>>625707
Draft a constitution with dat fancy quill pen
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>625707
rip out the front blank page of one of those books and look for a pen
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>625707
Grab the nearest book, rip a blank page and write "Flip to find out where the skelleton went" on both sides
Hopefully that will trap them for a few days
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>625721
>>625707
>>
>>625707

>>625729

Best plan ever.
>>
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>>625711
Lockipicking attempt success
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>625762
WHAT'S INSIDE THE CHEST?
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>625762

Check for loo... I mean shit that might help us lose the paladins
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>625762
Do this>>625729
Then loot the chest
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>625762
what's inside
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>625762
Search for some paper and valuables, if present. Then, do this.
>>625729
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>625762
Appraise loot

Do it following the jewish instructions of the voice of a dead dragon inside your head for maximum success
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>625762
anything good inside?
also check if you hear approaching footsteps yet or not
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>625762
any fancy stationery inside?
>>
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>>625778
YOu found a sword. Well it's less of a sword and more a really long knife. If you knew any better, you'd say it seems to be made from the remains of a sword that your tribe got from the Orc tribe along time ago.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>625805
Look outside at the city
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>625805
Not stationary. Disregard and keep searching.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>625805
oh shit, we have to draw blood now and kill someone
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>625805
Escape out the window
Use sword to track were the arena is by sniffing out the orc blood
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>625805

Keep it, bail through the chimney
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>625805
Keep it
Check outside to be sure all the paladins followed you inside
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>625805
SHED THE BLOOD OF THE NEAREST PALADIN WITH IT

THE JASONS SHALL HELP US
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>625805
Pocket that, start writing dis
>>625729
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>625805
orc tech is bad news
toss it out
check for nearby guards
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>625805
Etch a note into the desk and then get rid of that fucking thing before it kills you
>>
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>>625810
YOu see...a paladin climbing through the window
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>625846
Stab in face, run out other window
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>625846
Stab him through his visor with the orc knife
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>625846
Shank that fucker right in the neck
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>625846
Get rid of the knife and break down the door to escape
If that thing pricks a skeleton wouldn't they go after any creature with a skeleton inside them?
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>625846
fug
apply sword to his face
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>625846
Oh shit. Use the sword we found to hastily stab the paladin.
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>625846
Punch self as a distraction tactic and stab him with your free hand
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>625846
stab him in the visor with just found knife
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>625846
Chop at his hands with the knife to send him falling to his death.
>>
>>625853
Skeles have no blood, though
>>
>>625862
They should already be invading the Kingdom since the elves and orcs are here right?
>>
>>625862
Skeleton juice then.
>>
>>625865
NaP confirmed the paladins easilly kill them before they enter
>>
>>625865
No, the kingdom has competent fighters.
So they've been kept out.
>>
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>>625849
Jumping to the next building
>>
>>625865
OP said that the Paladins and guards have been dealing with some Jason swords near the city.
>>
>>625865
Technically they should, but neither elves nor the orcs have got any attacks since the jasons tasted their blood (before they got enslaved, obviously) so i think the Jasons are pretty fucking slow.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>625883
Land on ye hands onto the next building
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>625883
Land inside next building
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>625883
Fall into a conveniently placed haystack
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>625883
run across the roof of the next building, keep running until paladins are successfully evaded
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>625883
Extend your cape to glide, as you're super light
>>
>>625883
Jump from roof to roof Naruto-style, then finally land in a dark alleyway
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>625883
Oops there is no next building
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>625883

Its a cathedral
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>625883
Land ontop of a shady building.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>625883
Once in a new building the search for parchment continues.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>625883
I hope there is next building, right?
>>
>>625904
>dark alleyway
>not dank alley where the elves spend their free time
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>625904
Whoops
>>
>>625916
That's the name of one of the most famous taverns in the kingdom. Everyone except the bartender is an elf slave.
And regulars get a bonus, that's why it's called The Dank Alleyway
>>
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>>625896
Who would put a haystack ontop of a building
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>625938
Because reasons

Quickly disassemble said haystack to prevent paladins from jumping over
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>625938
Play in haystack
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>625938
you look over and see the hay piler
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>625938
The farmer king and he's pissed that someone wrapped up a skeleton and threw him into his roof haystack
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>625938
A tamed Roc

Its a nest.
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>625938

Who gives a shit. Become the night and hide in plain sight
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>625938
An elf farmer high on weed.
Keep going from rooftop to rooftop Naruto-style, then land at The Dank Alleyway.
You always wanted to try the "house's special".
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>625938
Go into a dank alleyway in order to discuss nefarious plans among possibly other skele.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>625938
>>625949
>>
(Did we just successfully kill a paladin?)
>>
>>625987
No but the Jasons would be on his ass soon
>>
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>>625953
Yes, let's go and hide.

Then immediately a paldin pops out form the hay and punches you in the skull

"IT WAS US WHO PUT IT HERE! WE KNEW YOU'D TRY A JUMP!"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>626000
Suplex paladin
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>626000
Run away!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>626000
Kick Paladin off the edge of the building
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>626000
draw your long knife with a flourish
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>626000
Evil weaboo magic! Life steal!
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>626000
Jump off the building while doing a quadruple backflip and land perfectly
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>626000
You're not going to make old bones here, collect your teeth and run
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>626000
>>625954
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>626000
That seems incredibly counterproductive. Why not just let me jump to my death and have some bones to sweep up off the street?
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>626000

Jam the hay stray in Paladin's eye.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>626000
Fistfight the paladin
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>626000
Stab his face with your fist
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>626000
Leap from roof, retrieve knife from previously killed paldin's face.
>>
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>>626007
Attempting to run away, the paladin pursues you
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>626050
Run faster because bones are lighter than a full plated human
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>626050
Trip on a manlet thats crying on the street over being weak
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>626050
Attempt to fly by flapping arms repeatedly
>>
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>>626056
You ahve the lead. A jump's coming up. You can either jump accross onto the next rooftop or drop down into the alley below
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>626092
Fly by flapping arms repeatedly
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>626092
Run like naruto for speed because aerodynamics
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>626092
The alley
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>626092
Drop into the alley.
The Dank Alley
>>
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>>626100
Well that didn't work
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>626114
Land on the next building anyway because you had momentum
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>626114
Land without issues.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>626114

Use magic to do wuxia leap.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>626114
FLAP HARDER YOUR (un)LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>626114
Drop like a rock
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>626114
Jump on air in order to maintain altitude
>>
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>>626121
The Kindom took away the magic of the tribes. The only magic you have left is the one animating your bony body right now. But you leaped any way
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>626151
Land in alley
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>626151
Enter the Dank Alleyway
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>626151
Do a ballerina twirl midair and land
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>626151
Land in The Dank Alley
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>626151
Remove clothes to decrease air resistance
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>626151
Use your cape as a glider
>>
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>>626164
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>626184
How close are we to escaping the Kingdom?
>>
>>626184
Realize the building you landed on was The Dank Alleyway.
Enter to confuse the paladins
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>626184
Paladin stands at the edge of the building you just leaped from and claps - appreciating your grace.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>626191
Fucking dice
>>
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>>626190
Alright, this tiny skull represents you and this tiny cup represents the nearest city wall that you'd need to scale to escape.

And let's move the cup aaaaaaall the way over here for accuracy
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>626184

You take a bow and slip into the shadows
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>626203
oh shit, we better keep running then
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>626203
>>626205

D'oh
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>626203
Hide in the nearest wagon heading outside the kingdom walls
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>626203
Cue time skip until its time to scale the wall

Have a montage of us evading capture until the walls are within sight
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>626203
>>626195
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>626203
That doesn't look so bad
>>
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>>626210
Alright time to run...but then 2 paladins block your path
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>626234
Attempt to seduce them
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>626234
JUKE THEM OUT BY RUNNING LEFT, THEN DODGING RIGHT
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>626234
Run in a different direction
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>626234
Enter The dankest alleyway you can see
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>626234

Smoke bomb!
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>626234
Crazy weaboo necromancy go!
Use your magic to blind the paladins and escape.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>626234
Jump over them gracefully and land on the streets into the sewers.
>>
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>>626248
Which at this moment is the one directly below. So you jumped down.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>626259
Keep on running
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>626234
There are 4 directions in the world - north, east, south, west - turn and run in one of the two directions left that don't have paladins in your way.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>626259
Land on a paladin with a drop kick
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>626259
Hide yourself in the crowds of high elves
>>
>>626271
>implying elves have enough numbers to form a crowd
>>
>>626281
could've been some time since civ thing, they would have enough to regrow their population
>>
If we keep killing paladins we'll never become holy bones
>>
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>>626270
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>626316
Now jump off him into the nearest window
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>626316
run through the dankest alleyway and lose the paladins
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>626316
>>626320
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>626316
Pull off and steal his helmet and run away
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>626316

Steal his armor see if its blessed
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>626316
Drag unconscious paladin body in a building or around a corner or behind something. Take his armor for a disguise.
>>
Test
>>
4chan still dead?
>>
>>626392
Your test results have come back. You have AIDS.
>>
>>626401
It doesn't seem that way. The important question however is wether or not OP is still alive.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d1)

>>626402
I don't trust these results. I'm going to check with another doctor. 1 is no AIDS and 2 is yes AIDS.
>>
>>626333
I doubt that.

I also regret this for you.
>>
We back?
>>
>>626498
NaP went to bed.
>>
>>626502
I swear NaP has the most inconsistent schedule. One day he's hosting dusk to dawn and the next only for a few hours. Does anyone know where he lives?
>>
>>626555
ching chong land, vietnam
>>
>>626570
For real?
>>
>>626579
Yes. He lives in Vietnam.
>>
>>625883
Either Paladins are weak as shit or there's a huge difference in power between them and Guards, OR Hooded Bones really just more powerful than WanPan, also, anyone initiated a flashback sequence to how we got here yet?
>>
>>626610
Damn. I always pictured him as a 16 year old British person who lives with his rich parents in France or some other European country.
>>
>>626627
>Bones tries to get to the coliseum
>Drives paladins mad with paperwork
>Paladins proceed to purge heretics and skeletons
Also the paladins are probably weak due to a lack of communication with god
>>
>>626666
Oh shit you're fucking right. I mean we really should have seen Brock going heel by the time he broke DraGod's back, I wonder how Orc God is holding it out Seeing as he didn't respond in WanPan Quest then either only those with really good celestial divine connection can call heaven right now or he's also dead
>>
>>626666
I actually want to try and meet the Almighty human God. The smiling son and next goblin hero whose name alludes me might be able to go to a temple dedicated to him since their predecessors could move freely and witness something relevant about Brock and the other gods. The kingdom can probably still communicate with their God without any complications since he's much more powerful then ours.
>>
>>626640
Nah. More of a 300lb rice hoarder that enjoys making people feel as bad as him.
>>
>>626666
Nice quads.

Also, it doesnt help the only kill we got was from a God weapon. Don't give hooded bones too mucb credit yet. He was still punched and fleeing. We have no idea if Brock will give us magic back. But if he did, would we want it? He's destroying the balance.

Skeletons might turn to the Almighty because Brock allows skellies to die and forces barbs to be murdercattle.
>>
>>626483
Totally depends upon whether OP wants to have a disguise adventure or not. What you succeed at and what you fail at is often a matter of what would be an interesting direction to take in the story.
>>
>>626431
You now have one positive AIDS test and one negative test. We recommend you have a third test to confirm which is correct.
>>
I'll roll a 69 to summon op back to the thread
dice+1d100
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>626916
>can't even roll properly
nat 69 incoming
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>626916
I almost never post on /qst/ forgive me and watch this roll
>>
>>626941
>96
Op is dead and he will never come back
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>626916
Rolling 69 to summon OP back to bread.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>626996
Rolling 69 to summon OP back to breed
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>626916 #
Rolling 69 to summon OP back to bread.
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>626916
nat 96
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>626916
Easy 69 incoming
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>626916
rolling for The Sex Number
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>626916
nat one incomin
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>626916
Check my numbers pal.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>626916
Derp
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>626916
I just want this bread to continue, please op return to your loving family of anons. You massive faggot.
>>
apparently OP is having connection issues
bread continues soon
>>
>>627924
>>628302
OP banned from 4chins for extreme amount of salt generation
>>
>>628302
Soon? It won't be for at least until another day judging from his feed.
>>
>>628451
>>628305
rip thread
>>
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>>628502
can anyone post the picture NaP made with all the past protagonists? Like the one that Lolisniffer is thinking here
>>
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>>628515
Here you go
>>
>>628525
was this ever updated to include new heroes?
>>
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>>628529
ye
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>626916
Obviously the Horny One has to do it

Fucking amateurs watch the master do it
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>628568
Wow dragons are the literal worst confirmed. Give way and let an Orc do it.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>628573
Let me show how I put the 6 to the 9
>>
Where can I find all of these previous quests?
>>
>>628589
>http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
Arrange chronologically in order of appearance.. You can try reading out of order but you'll miss a lot of references and cameos along the way
>>
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>>628597
Thanks. Have some ecchi for your efforts.
>>
>>628597
>our autism will be forever remembered
>>
>>628754
This is why you make a good read instead of killing off characters left and right
>>
>>628790
Let's justify it as being for the 'greater good' from now on
>>
>>628800
Faggot
>>
>>628828
This
>>
>It has now been 23 hours and 23 minutes since NaP last posted in 4chan. 14 hours on the twatter

Morale is running low and conditions are becoming unbearable.
>>
>>629179
>squad broken
>>
>>629179
We're down on the salt rations too.
If we don't get reinforcements or a supply drop in one day, it may be the end for us.
The war against the Ayy Lmaos isn't going as well as we thought. They have some pretty huge salt reserves.
I wonder how they're doing on the other side, against the wyverns. I hope they still have their anal virginity.
>>
>>629179
He needs sleep anyway. His gaming/shitposting habbits run him raggid
>>
>>629225
Wyverns raping us hard over here. We have alot of anally wounded but no dead, can't continue the offensive however since they got mindbroken.
We need fresh reinforcements to replace the traumatised ones and alot of lube support
>>
>>629262
Also tell the faggot who handles our supplies to stop including suppositories, its triggering the PTSD of our wounded here
>>
>>629262
I have bad news for all

Cannon has returned and killed op and 4chan
>>
>>629289
Well cannons are weapons meant for murder afterall
>>
>>629295
There is one bright side

Cannons massive salt overload gave enough salt for a resurrection ritual,but it will take 10 years to complete

If we had more salt we might be able to half the time

I blame barbs
>>
>>629306
The barbs are the cause of all of our problems but also the source of like 90% of our salt reserves.
>>
>>629313
But they create skeletons... which are 40% of adventures
>>
>>629355
Wich also includes all of our problems
>>
>>629355
They didn't create skeletons.
They got the ability to control skeletons.
>>
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>>629355
>skellingtons in 40% of adventures
I guess you can say that OP has a boner for skellies
>>
>>628790
>>628754
>There will never be a wiki page for all of NaP's adventures
One you faggots should start working on one, or at least give him an entry in the /tg/ wiki
>>
>>629681
>/tg/
He didn't ever really go to /tg/ at least I never saw him there his adventures were normally on late night /v/ until /qst/ came along.
>>
>>630055
That explains why his quests are always so full of salt. Only /v/ could be the source of this much salt.
>>
>>630406
You should've seen Villain Quest 1.
God's bored of Greg now.
>>
test
>>
who still in here for thread to continue
>>
OP'S BACK
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

rocks ready
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

O shit we back
nat 100 incomin
>>630691
>>630631
Hiya
>>
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>>626328
Bounced on head and crashed into a window
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>630698
Loot room
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>630698
Steal whatever armor is inside.
We need a better disguise
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>630698
jump out of building from another side
>>
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>>630699
You found: some barrels
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>630703
Throw barrels donkey kong style at the Paladins
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>630703
>>630705
>>
How do I roll?
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>630710
dice+1d100 in the options field
>>
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>>630705
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>630717
Throw a flaming barrel at them so they have more enemies to deal with
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>630717
substitute yourself with actual monkey and sneak away
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>630717
Grab the princess and climb to the next level
>>
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>>630721
THere's no princesses here, just an elf hiding in a corner hoping all the scary poeple would leave
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>630724
ADVANCE TO THE NEXT LEVEL WITH THE ELF IN HAND
HOW HIGH CAN YOU GO, PALADINS?
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>630724
Call him a fag and take a barrel instead
Elves are useless as hostages
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>630724
what inside the barrels anyway?
is it broth?
>>
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>>630727
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>630733
>>630728
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>630733
Keep the barrel as your most prized possession, no one can take it. Bust out of there and head for the wall
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>630733
ANGRY
ANGRY ABOUT ELVES
>>
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>>630738
You break yet another window as you umped oout of the building
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>630740
Aim for water, use the barrel to catch some gnar waves and surf outta here my dude
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>630740
can we see the outer wall yet
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>630740
Use the barrel as a stepping point midair to jump up to the roof.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>630740
It's night time now so it's easier to escape
>>
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>>630745
"You won't escape in the darkness! Our Holy Vision™ will find you!"

Man, the dragon paladins were infinitely easier to deal with, those were good times
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>630752
Try prayin to whatever god picks up the phone.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>630752
oh shit
hide in our barrel and sneak towards the wall then
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>630752
Pray to the god of luck
Hide in the light so their holy vision doesn't see you
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>630752
>56 wins over 60
>>630743

wut?
run faster or something. Paladins must be exhausted with their flesh bodies
>>
>>630758
Huh, misread that, so to answer your question. "No"
>>
>>630760
>Huh, misread that, so to answer your question. "No"
this going be a long run
>>
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>>630756
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>630763
?
Just my imagination
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>630763
it actually works
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>630763
?
>>630764
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>630763
The barrel turns out to be lined with anti-paladin runes, they can't see you (or so you believe)
>>
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>>630764
Yes, it's just your immagination. Like how you're immagining a paladin resting his elbow on your barrel, preventing you from moving. I mean that can't be real as obviously your disguise is perfect
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>630775
force barrel to turn sideways and roll with it
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>630775
oh shit, their holy vision saw us
GET OUT OF THERE, SNAKE!
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>630775
Salt Demon!


Shoopy doopy doo doo woo!
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>630775
Pray for an alignment change
>>
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>>630778
You got out of the barrel
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>630781
RUN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER RAN BEFORE
Also, shed a tear for the barrel
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>630781
CLIIIMB LIKE A SPIDER UP THE NEAREST WALL
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>630781
Run 2: Run Harder
Also pray for an alignment change
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>630781
Into the sewers!
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>630781
Run to the church! We should at least pray for good fortune from these evil paladins!
>>
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>>630783
"You're not doing that again"
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>630789
>>630784
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>630789
>>630779
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>630789
Actually do that again
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>630789
Let him take that leg, we never needed it anyway
it's detachable
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>630789
You're the scat man, skibididibibiyomdododoo
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>630789
Kiss the paladin
>>
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>>630793
YOu yelled out something about a salt demon along with some gibberish as the paladin throws you to the ground
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>630801
roll for evasion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy8kmNEo1i8
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>630801
Kick the paladin in the nuts while we're down here
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>630801
Ask him why he must be purged! Hooded Bones values life!
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>630801
Pray for an alignment change.
>>
>>630801
Point upwards and yell "LOOK A DISTRACTION" and run like hell.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>630806
>>
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Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>630802
The paladin throws a simple punch at you

Roll 2d100 for evasion, first is the picking number, second just have to beat whatever number I rolled
>>
Rolled 74, 60 = 134 (2d100)

>>630810
PRAY FOR AN ALIGNMENT CHANGE MIDDODGE
>>
Rolled 32, 46 = 78 (2d100)

>>630810
FREESTYLA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymNFyxvIdaM
>>
Rolled 75, 43 = 118 (2d100)

>>630810
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>630810
Shiet also rolling for cameo appearance
>>
Rolled 62, 82 = 144 (2d100)

>>630810
YOU WA SHOCK
go all hokuto no ken on his ass
>>
Rolled 2, 10 = 12 (2d100)

>>630810
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>630810
URAAAAA
>>
>>630813
>>630811
>tfw made a possible tie even worse
>>
Rolled 27, 20 = 47 (2d100)

>>630814
I'm retarded

>>630816
>>630811
>>630813

Anon y
>>
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>>630813
Well that was a failure
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>630826
ROLL FOR COUNTER PUNCH
ALSO GET ANGRY
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>630826
It was a ruse
You really ran away while your shadow clone took the hit
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>630826
blame elves
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>630826
Why are you trying to kill me anyway!?!?!

Ia trying to save my humans, not kill them!
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>630826
Your skull cracks, making you look a bit more bad ass
>>
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>>630832
"Don't blame unrelated things for your failures"
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>630837
LEG IT
Also try praying for an alignment change
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>630837
dodge palading attack while kicking his legs
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>630837
>>630829
PUNCH HIM QUICKLY
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>630837
Roll dodge and enter an Almighty Praying position
>>
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Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>630841
Same deal as before, roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 81, 77 = 158 (2d100)

>>630846
>>
Rolled 58, 21 = 79 (2d100)

>>630846
GET FUCKING MAD
>>
>>630847
Eyyy
>>
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>>630847
Punch success, you stopped the paladin from smashing you for a bit
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>630853
LEFT HOOK
USE YOUR OTHER FIST RIGHT INTO HIS FACE
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>630853
NOW RUN AWAY INTO THE SUNSET
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>630853
Run for your undead life
I'll just make this my last try at praying for an alignment change
>>
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>>630856
You ran and prayed.

The paladins are a bit surprised at your praying
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>630862
KEEP PRAYING WHILE RUNNING, IT'LL DISTRACT THE PALADINS
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>630862
distract them enough so they'll lose track of you
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>630862
Pray to the Almighty!
>>
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>>630863
"You pray?!"

"You speak the name of God?!"

The paladins shout as they chase after you
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>630871
How do you think skeletons were given life?! Science!?!
Yes, we pray to the Almighty!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>630871
that affects their running capabilities.
While it doesn't affect yours.
Therefore you outrun them
INTO THE SUNSET
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>630871
KEEP PRAYING
BROCK HASN'T HELPED US SO WE SHOULD CHANGE GODS
PRAY TO THE ALMIGHTY!
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>630871
>>630872
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>630871
A voice is heard, it sounds to be coming a man with no lips "Yes ME!"
Brock appears and cuts the Paladins from their power.
>>
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>>630876
"Then why do the tribal skeletons and barbarians keep praying to some guy named Brock anyway?"

"Who the hell's Brock?"

"I dunno, some asshole tribal god probably"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>630881
We pledge our allegiance to the almighty so the Paladins stop chasing us.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>630881
while they stand in confusion - RUN FOR IT
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>630881
The paladins feel a disturbance up above in the heavens, as if a shift in the balance of power has happened.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>630881
Brock is one of the Almighty's children. All the gods stopped communication with us after you captured us. The Almighty is all we can turn to.
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>630881
Run while praying to brock for a big rock to fall on them
>>
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>>630882
"Ah, so you wish to convert?"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>630892
Yes, even though this may turn us into a human
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>630892
Yes. If it means saving my people
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>630892
JOKES ON YOU
run thru their legs, while tripping them over
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>630892
Yes.
But can I stay a skeleton?
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>630892
I will convert if it means my people can live safely
>>
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>>630896
Sadly the paladin legs are sturdier than you though and you're blocked
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>630900
Ask them for confidence in this whole conversion thing.
It's very bone rattling.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>630900
we were just kidding about trying to run, we'll convert to save our people
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>630900
Pray for real. No backsies
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>630900
USE SICK BREAKDANCE MOVES TO TRIP THEM OVER
FREESTYLA
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>630900
I'm the demons within compelled me to attempt escape, please convert me and save my people
>>
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>>630901
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you have no guts"

[Ba-dum-tish]
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>630900
Daaang bro how much did you squat to get these fit-ass thighs
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>630909
entrance them with rock music and make escape
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>630909
haha
convert for real, no more joking around
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>630909
Right in the humerus.
Alright no seriously can we do this and stay a skeleton?
>>
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>>630913
"Sure. The paladin who punched you and was going to smash you with a hammer is also a skeleton"
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>630914
oh shit we exclaim
let's convert then
LOCK IN
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>630914
ask about his story
while searching for escape route
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>630914
Neat.
Do it
>>
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>>630917
"Very well. I accept thee into the Church of The Almighty"
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>630919
somewhere in deeps of your consciousness you pray Brock to interfere
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>630919
Study and work hard to work for the freedom of your barbs and the not slaughter of our skelebros
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>630919
Checkout Holy Vision™
>>
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>>630922
It is done. You are now a member of the church.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>630925
and race traitor
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>630925
[Holy Intensifies]
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>630925
Become Hooded Paladin and work the arena to convert your barbs
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>630925
welp, we're a citizen of the Kingdom now
use our new faith to learn holy powers
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

Brock notices. Plot intensifies
>>
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>>630926
Barbarians are humans also, hachachachacha
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>630931
>>630929
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>630931
but muh independence
>>
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>>630932
And to do that, the other paladins sent you to the Training Camp fro new recruits. A cleric greets you.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>630938
Greetings brother
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>630938
Say we want holy powers
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>630938
punch self in the face
>>
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10 KB
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>>630942
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>630943
Engage training montage. Paladin training
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>630943
>>630941
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>630943
ask if they stop hunting skellies out there.
>>
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>>630944
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>630953
prepare for graduation ceremony
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>630953
Wow. We learned a lot. My people arnt being murdered, right?
>>
>>630953
oh shit nigga
we get a buster sword
>>
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>>630954
"Right, it is almost time for you to become a full fledged paladin. Now, before the ceremony you will have to go through what all paladins went through. Picking your set of equipment"
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>630959
pick giant robot
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>630959
THE GIANT ROBOT
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>630959
Holy Not-at-phallic Spear
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>630959
don't paladins just get a standard set of equipment? if not let us see what we can choose from
>>
File: 1.png (14 KB, 500x500)
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>>630962
"Only master paladins get those"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>630968
What can we choose then?
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>630968
>>630964
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>630968
show us what we can get
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>630968
stingy
can I get ridiculously huge sword set then?
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>630968

Acquire new set of hallowed robes and an dual hammers... That function as aspergillums... And loads of holy water.
>>
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>>630974
"Sure, if you want to. Each paladin gets to pick their own personal weapon. From normal swords, maces, hammers, gauntlets to spears, greatswords and greathammers"
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>630982
DUAL WIELD GREAT SWORDS
LOCK IN
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>630982
get us a holy broomstick.
LOCK IN
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>630982
Do you have bigger swords than great ones?
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>630982
>>630976
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>630982
DUAL WIELD DOOMFISTS
LOCK ON IN
>>
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7 KB
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>>630983
"If you can life them, then go ahead"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>630992
LIFT IT BY ROLLING HIGH
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>630992
attach some rocket thrusters to each
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>630992
Dual wield doomfists instead
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>630992
Take normal spear and set it on Holy Fire out of habit
>>
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Rolled 28, 11 = 39 (2d50)

>>630993
Roll 2d100. Second number just have to be higer than the result of my dices
>>
Rolled 31, 34 = 65 (2d100)

>>630997
39? fucking ez
>>
>>630997
>39
How can anyone fail at this
>>
>>630998
>>630997
>>630999
oh shit nevermind
I fucked up, our bones need more calcium
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>630997
I guess 2 big swords would be fun
>>
Rolled 7, 84 = 91 (2d100)

>>630997
>>
Rolled 39, 42 = 81 (2d100)

>>630997
ZANKANTOUS
>>
>>630998
>>630999
I spoke too soon
>>
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>>630998
Hmm

"Maybe just one greatsword for now."
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>631010
let's get those dealt weild gauntlets
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>631010
We go with one greatsword until we get stronger to wield two. Proceed towards graduation.
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>631010
One great sword, light on Holy Fire.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>631010
I blame 4chins and slow updates
and elves
attach cannons to arms instead
>>
>>631014
Updates suck for me too
>>
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>>631011
"Ah yes, the gauntlets, A nice choice. Now let's go get your armor"
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>631017
Do we get to choose our armor too?
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>631017
as long as we can keep our hood whatever is fine
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>631017
find hooded armour
and with giant shoulders
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>631017
Holy Fire gauntlets
>>
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>>631019
"Well yes, do you pick the good ol' standard paladin armor? Or the light version for more dexterity? Or perhaps you'd prefer the heavy armor?"
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>631027

Regular paladin armor with matching hood.
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>631027
Light with hood
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>631027
Any mystery box options?
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>631027
heavy armor but with custom huge shoulderplates
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>631027
lightest, we are currently quick as fuck so why compromise our main advantage against shit
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>631027

The secret box, Henshin belt
>>
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>>631030
"Right, the light armor, and hood. So which kind of hood do you want? And do you want a cape too?"
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>631039
Bottom left hood, yes to cape
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>631039
light armour, top left hood and cape
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>631039
Bottom right hood with cape
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>631039
regular hood
bigger cape
>>
We literally chose all 4 hoods. Different tastes for all
>>
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>>631045
"Right, are you sure this is your selection?"
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>631051
yee, that's badass
proceed to graduation
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>631051
I want bigger shoulder plates, small one are for wusses
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>631051

"Yes, for I'm now a badass purgicator!
>>
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>>631053
"Right, one last thing. Lightly armored paladins are usually sent on recon missions, and to do so they need to be less conspicuous than their heavier armored brothers. To that end they usually carry a Holy Disguise Belt, which simply casts a illusion spell over their armor to show them in regular clothing. It can be deactivated at will, some like to make a pose when they do that though. Do you want one too?"
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>631062
Yes, we're a sneaky nigga
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>631062
does EVERYONE sees you camouflaged? Including paladins and such?
>>
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>>631063
And so you took the belt then had a graduation ceremony, you're now an official paladin
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>631067
Ask if we can make one last prayer to brock to tell him he can go scew himself, and if it is allowed proceed to do so
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>631067
Smite some heretics for the hell of it
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>631067
Protect our brother skeletons and barbs with our power
>>
>>631070
Aaaand you prolly murdered your own tribe.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>631067
>>631071
>>
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>>631070
And so you smote the nearest heretics.

Some of your tribal skeletons who still worships Brock.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>631075
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>631075

Keep in smiting while getting boner from it.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>631075
Un-smite! Convert!!!
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>631075
personally lead the crusade against your former comrade
and make sure they see your face as you do it
>>
>>631081
Go back to bed
>>
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>>631079
[ba-dum-tish]
>>
>>631082
no
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>631083
>>631081
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>631083
get a perk "Religion Traitor"
>>
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>>631087
Ding
>>
I might as well stop here. Canon will just undo any progress we make
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>631090
>>631081
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>631090
Is Brock ok with all of this?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>631090
Ignore all of Canon's posts
>>
>>631090

Request holy dagger from church for holy assassinations and such.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>631095

fug
>>
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>>631092
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>631099
>>631095
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>631099
Brock ascends to kick shit out of ya
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>631099
Convert him!

Works like necromancy
>>
>>631102
>inb4 can't control NPCs
>>
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>>631102
You can't control NPCs

Also it's "Descend"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>631106

Suddenly got the vision of dragon messiah...
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>631105
>god
>npc
>>631106
could broke a rule for that sweet 100 roll
I'm mad about religions
>>
>>631108
Just like how manlets were mad about you killing their protag
>>
>>631109
We didnt mean to kill him. We thought it would just be a failed attack. Not auto murder
>>
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>>631107
Suddenly, your Holy Vision™ flares up. It's something having to do with the dragon messiah of the dragon tribe.

>>631112
Oh I didn't mean "you" as in "barbarians", I meant "you" as just him because back in the manlet thread most of the manlet hate was directed towards him
>>
>>631109
I didn't kill him, I made Manlet Rider, why I would want to kill him
also he is alive and selectable
also this >>631112
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>631114
remember your hate for chicken brains and hunt him down
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>631114
What do you see ?
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>631114
Convert. Dont purge
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>631114

See the moment when Dragon messiah speaks with Brock and how Brock is now fueled by conflict.
>>
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>>631117
The vision is blurry, but you can see that the dragon has escaped the city back to the old dragon caves. You the decided to hunt down the heretic.

Your belt disguises yourself out of combat, maybe it would give you the element of surprise over the dragon.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>631124
Disguise as an orc with elephant fruit
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>631124
disguise as manlet
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>631124

Get ourself a giant dildo and track down the dragon messiah. We shall rape it... Literal or unliteral or both.
>>
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>>631126
The belt only disguises your armor into your regular clothes, that's the only thing it does
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>631131
Disguise as Jew to attact it to possible hoard
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>631131
yeah, huge crest on the belt is not giveaway in slightest
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>631131
go to the ruins of the citadel
>>
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>>631132
Nigga do you have brain problems.

Or do you mean disguise as a jew using something else and not the belt.

You better say yes or imma think you have brain problems
>>
>>631133
Player perception, to non-paladins it looks like a normal belt
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>631135
grab a jew mask and put it over your face
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>631135

No we shall disguise as... old Sean Connery.
>>
>>631135
Jews wear clothes, do they not?
>>
>>631139
But do they wear your clothes though
>>
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>>631138
BUt how can you do that when you do-

"Hey you! YOu want this old man mask that I just happen to ahve for some reason?"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>631142
nah, ask for Todd mask instead
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>631142
That jew! Disguise as THAT jew!
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>631144
>>631142
This
The mask of the biggest jew
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>631142

Want that mask!!!
>>
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>>631144
"Lucky for you I also have that mask for some reason"
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>631149

Lets go with Sean Connery
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>631149
How convenient
smite him for being jewish then take them both
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>631149
Todd it is
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>631149
The todd mask
Once we meet the messiah, we tell him sweet little lies
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>631149
Dickass thief steals both of them
>>
>>631155
>no controlling npcs

I dont think he's around yet either
>>
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>>631151
"Oy vey"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>631157

Get is glasses. Wear them over the Sean Connery mask
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>631156
we can always became one
>>631157
smite glasses too
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>631157
Disguise as jew, continue
>>
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>>631159
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>631164
is it working yet?
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>631164

Wonderful!
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>631164
Everything is terrible

Find messiah
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>631164

Perfection. Time to head towards the dragon citadel!
>>
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>>631169
And so you did
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>631171
Convert skellies along the way
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>631171
sidetrack to arena
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>631171

Convert skellies to become more like James Bond (or James Bone).
>>
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>>631173
And so you convert the skeletons that aren't fervent worshippers of Brock over to the church

Gotta go eat dinner, be back in a bit
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>631177
you with converted skeletons eat notpaladins dinner
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>631177
Skeletal remains of NaP's food attack Brock
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>631177
Go on a killing spree of skeletons who aren't worshippers of God.
>>
>>631194
>which one :D
>>
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>>631180
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>631202
Chew
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>631202
Take that dog as a companion
>>
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>>631203
Chew what
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>631206
burgers, Apollo
>>
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>>631207
What burgers
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>631208
classic los angeles burgers, obviously
also you walk into drilled hole
>>
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>>631212
But this is clearly a jelly donut
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>631214
eat it
postpone thread cause no one around?
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>631214

Eat the onigiri with style without acting like a weaboo.
>>
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>>631216
Eat what
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>631219
dragon meat
you want to eat dragon meat
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>631219
The jelly donut sandwich muskrat ball
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>631219

Screw that! Go and get the giant holy dildo and track down the dragon messiah.
>>
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>>631222
Woah bro that sounds kinda gay
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>631223
Go back to looking for the dragon heretic
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>631223
Find messiah.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>631223
>>631220
>>
We should visit arena once we got back to convert actual barbarians
>>
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>>631226
Right, let's get back to our quest
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>631232
Holy Vision™ receives a reaction
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>631232
or stop by and eat some jerky in arena
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>631232
Ey, found him!


Or skelebro


Something.

You find something
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>631232
Enjoy and take notice of the surrounding while we go there
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>631223

Naah... We simple do it for sake of holy mission and lol.

>>631232

Track down the dragon.
>>
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>>631234
You're a skeleton, you don't even need to eat. But oh hey a jerky seller
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>631238
But were broke

We just started our job and we havent been paid yet
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>631238
Buy. Convert if jew
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>631238
the process of chewing is compelling you see
>>
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>>631245
Me fuggin ur mum is compe--"You guys want some jerky? Only a coin for 5 pieces"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>631246
We have no money
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>631246
punch him in the balls
>>
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>>631247
"Oh okay, sorry for bothering you"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>631249
Convert barbs in arena
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>631249
Curse the Go-

Curse Brock for all your problems
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>631249
realize that you've been doing paladin's work for FREE
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>631249
Go convert the orcs and barbs to save them
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>631249
Go to a temple of God. See if he responds to us.
>>
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>>631256
And so you enter the nearest church.

"Greetings, brother. Wat brings you here?"
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>631259
You hear someone yell from the arena calling you a wuss for doing volunteer work
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>631259
legs
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>631259
Praying for the conformity of my barb brothers
>>
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>>631262
Hear what
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>631265
The sound of two gay elves going at it
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>631265
WUSS
SCARED OF PALADINS SO CONVERTED
CAN'T TAKE HAMMER IN THE FACE
WUSS
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>631265
>>631264
>>
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>>631269
Oh lawd, I pray my barbarian brothers stop being heretics so I don't have to purge them, amen
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>631271
from a distance >>631268
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>631271
Amen
>>
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>>631273
How many times do I have to say you can't control NPCs
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>631276
Share the prayer and speak gospel to the human barbs
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>631276
maybe it's your second ego yells in your head
>>
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>>631277
And so you did.

Most of them just yelled expletives at you
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>631279
pray to Brock
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>631279
Try to convert Brock into our (new) religion
>>
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>>631280
Such heresy is no longer needed
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>631282
do it anyway
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>631282
Holy Vision™ shows you something important
>>
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>>631283
O Brock, thou art a huge faggot and a heretic, amen.

The barbarians have gotten more loud with their insults
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>631286
>>631284
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>631286
continue your "praying" to Brock in front of barbarians
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>631286
Share gospel with rocks for them to understand
>>
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>>631287
It seems the Dragon Messiah is making his way back into the city
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>631290
Look for any Barb and Orcs willing to join your cause here in the cells. Actually, just swing by Wan Pan's cell and ask him.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>631290
dig a hole
>>
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>>631292
As you prepare to make your way to the Orc cells, a barbarian yells out "Wait! I wanna join!"
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>631295
Give Barb, the test of ultimate faith Offer him a jerky
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>631295
and who is that barb exactly
>>
>>631297
man what time is it? Are we two the only players left?
>>
>>631297
Just a barbarian
>>
Im here. I just like Solids direction
>>
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>>631300
Whoops forgot pic
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>631300
suspicious
pull his beard
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>631302
Convert him
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>631303
>>631302
pull his beard
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>631302
Let's name him for his new life!
>>
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>>631306
"ey"
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>631310
TAKE OFF HIS HAT
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>631310
>>631308
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>631310
use holy vision on him
>>
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>>631314
ptoink
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>631319
Solid Hat Canon
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>631319
Real Beard
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>631319
Punchy Mcpunch
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>631319
Faggot
Lock in
>>
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>>631321
Confirm Y/N
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>631327
Yes
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>631327
N
Call him Traitor #2
>>
>>631329
No way. Solid Hat Canon is the perfect blend of conflicted opinions
>>
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>>631329
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>631330
screw that
I'm mad about religion
>>631331
click OK
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>631331
No, Solid Hat Canon
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>631331
No Call him Barbara
>>
>>631333
Rocks have spoken, clearly
>>
>>631337
In rocks we trust
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>631331
Lets name him Horny Barbarian
>>
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>>631333
Ptoink, he is now Traitor #2
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

Abegayle
Call him Abegayle
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>631340
check your party screen
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>631340
Travel to the orc cells and piss the orcs off about them not having waifus
>>
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>>631342
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>631345
>>631343
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>631345
Convert Traitor 2 to Jew- Er.... Whatever it is we worship.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>631345
perfect party for secret organization who want world domination.
set as your goal is to rule the kingdom
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>631345
Drop off skellies at church, take Traitor to Orc cages
>>
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>>631348
Now the orcs yell profanity at you
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>631356
C O N V E R T
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>631356
show them limited editions of latest bible's goodies
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>631356
Flash the orcs.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>631361
Flash the orcs... Your butthole!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>631356
Scout for Traitor #3 among the orcs

Diversity is strenght
>>
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>>631360
"Ooooh, a collector's item"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>631365
Convert them
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>631365
and you can get it by paying the low cost of an eternal servitude to the one and only god.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>631365
followers of this kingdom's religion get a discount for preordering limited editions, you know?
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>631365
Tell them that servitude under God will grant them their Waifus in the afterlife.
>>
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>>631370
"Hmmmmm" Orcs are thinking
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>631375
We cant control npcs


What do they say?
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>631375
Burn the tower down
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>631375
also show them King figmas and Paladins plamos
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>631375
Promise them nun waifus
>>
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>>631377
What tower
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>631375
promise them that God will give them their waifus in their afterlife
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>631381
>>631382
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>631381
>>631379
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>631382
>>631381
>>
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>>631386
"For reals?"
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>631388
For super reals
>>
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>>631390
Orcs have been successfully converted to the side of the church
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>631388
nah, just messing with ya
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>631393
poor bastards
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>631393
Save game
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>631393
Ask nearest paladin if they can join the Order
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>631393
all of them? Even Wan Pan? Time to go to the church and equip them with Paladin Shit
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>631393
Kill the orc's waifus
>>
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>>631399
"Like all recruits, they need to complete their training first"
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>631402
they actually do better job at training than you do
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>631402
Training Montage!
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>631403
>>631402
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>631402
We'll Train them ourselves.
MONTAGE
>>
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>>631403
You can't control NPCs
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>631410
Training montage activate with you personally training them as their instructor
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>631410
lets ignore the orcs for now
Find elves to convert
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>631410
it's easy to forget you see
you train together with them
and fail miserably
>>
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>>631411
Ands their training is complete

toot toot
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>631416
Name your squad the Boner Brothers
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>631416
that's a lot of paladins
>>
>>631416
I like it
>>
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>>631418
Indeed that is

Suddenly

"Brothers! A dragon claiming to be the last of its kind requests an audience with the church and the king! He claims it concerns the fate and balance of the world!"
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>631423
Greet the dragon
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>631423
Visit the barbarian heretics first to laugh at them
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>631423
attend the audience
but remember old grudges and attack dragon during it
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>631423
might be that demigod homo dragon, lets try to convert him to the true god as well
>>
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>>631426
"Greetings, skeletal paladin"
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>631433
looks... sane
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>631433
Ask why the dragon has come here and what he wants to discuss.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>631433
Make an anal rape joke to make him visibly uncomfortable
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>631433
try to convert him
he would make a great golden paladin dragon
>>
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>>631434
"Listen, there's is a great danger looming over the horizon! Heaven is becoming unbalanced because the work of a renegade god: The Barbarian God Brock"
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>631443
Let's murderize that faggot & heretic
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>631443
This seems to be heresy, of the highest grade
Ask him if he has proofs
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>631443
ask for proof
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>631443
Join him in cursing Brock
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>631443
>>631439
agree to help him if he converts, taking down brock or any other god will surely get our status with the paladins higher
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>631443
Prove it, fag
>>
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>>631445
"That's right! He is a murderous faggot and heretic! During the time we tribes have been imprisoned, he has devoured the other tribal gods an taken their powers! He now aims to take over heaven and become the Almighty himself! I know this becaus Brock appeared to me in a vision I was having down inside a tunnel"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>631460
dude is talking crazy
Brock is a bro
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>631460
Convert Messiah to the One True Faith
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>631460
Oh shit it's the king
Let him judge the situation before we do anything
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>631460
Brock is a jackass
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

I am sure the almighty can handle it and does not need our help,
if he cant handle a single minor god then he doesn't deserve to be the almighty
>>
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>>631464
"Well, since my father and the deity I worship is dead and all my kin died. Not much else I can do, sure"
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>631472
Give him his golden scales back
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>631472
>>631469
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>631472
Time skips to Messiah finishing his paladin training and becoming a badass Golden Paladin
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>631472
>>631463
>>
We have orc offtanks and Messiah nukemage

Our Godslaying party is complete. We should visit the barbarians later to laugh at them
>>
Oh man. The Dragons just got cucked for the second if not third time.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>631478
still should get elves and manlets on board
>>
>>631482

Let mechlet become the ultimate godslaying machine.
>>
>>631482
Dont you remember the barb raid? They DECREASE your chance of winning
>>
>>631482
Knife ears will be too high and manlets are combat useless
>>
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>>631473
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>631486
Commence paladin training montage
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>631486
is there manual for god killing anywhere near?
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>631486

Fukkin rad. Time for paladin training. Also ask King and Highest of Priests for opinion regarding the incoming shitstorm.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>631486
Try to talk with Dragon God. He could still be alive.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>631486
Lets visit the orphanage to increase their morale
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>631486
now while the dragon trains lets pray and ask the almighty if he wants our help taking brock down or if he can handle it himself
>>