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oh shit nigger this overplayed trope is happening again

>Enter Name
>>
>>615792
Pat O'Neill.
>>
>>615792
Daniel Necroman
aka
Dan Nero
>>
Jacks.
>>
>>615821
this
>>
>>615816
QM of Neils. Just dozens of them. Do it.
>>
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>>615816
Something about this is hauntingly familiar, so much so that you eject the idea from your mind

>>615821
You decide this one is more appropriate

now that you officially have a non official name, maybe you should

>Find A Way out
>>
>>615941
Grab the arrow next to our head, it might be useful. Check the trash on the floor.
>>
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>>615960
You pick up the EXPENSIVE FANSTORE HOODIE

You also notice the potentially useful arrow in the top right of the screen and attempt to swat it down

it is unfazed by your attacks
>>
>>616082
Classic arrow. Don the hoodie to increase our inventory space and improve faction relations. Investigate the broken, grimy-looking spot on the wall.
>>
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>>616110
Wearing this makes you feel disheartened
+4 inventory space
+25 faction reputation (Bronies)

On further inspection it's a broken, grimy looking spot on the wall. did you mention it's grimy (and also broken)
>>
>>616175
Check behind poster for secret stuff
>>
>>616175
Kick it. See if there's anything behind it besides a portal to spider Narnia.
>>
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>>616261
You really have nothing to say to this
>>
>>616378
Straight up kick out the light, It's fucking bedtime.
>>
>>616378
Grab it and use the sheer force of the hype to break down the wall.
>>
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>>616412
https://youtu.be/JurGajlyEew

unfortunately it remains uptime, in fact now that you think about it, the light was never on to begin with.

>>616423
you slide the ADVANCED WARFARE: DAY ZERO EDITION copy into one of the slits in the wall. it does nothing. you didn't think it would anyways, it was a pretty sub par game, even for a call of duty title
>>
>>616569
Check the door, just in case.
>>
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>>616630
This is only slightly disconcerting

hey, look, a shotgun!
>>
>>616760
What's that stuff in the middle of the floor?
>>
>>616778
what's left of the lightbulb after kicking it
>>
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Late night bump, I'll be back on tomorrow probably so leave some commands or w/e
>>
>>617442
QM of Neil McMan?
>>
>>617442
Take gun, smash a bigger hole in the wall. Get your game back. Oh. Dont touch the blood and gristle.
>>
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>>617588
The one and only

>>617684
You pop off a shot right into the wall
It gives with ease

you also successfully pacify the temptation to just cover yourself head to toe in flesh
>>
>>618175

Check what's outside the hole, all while making sure there's no abominations eager to eat your head while you do it
>>
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>>618240
you poke your head ever so carefully through the hole

apart from the (POWER) HUNGRY ABOMINATION in the center, nothing here seems to put you in immediate danger
>>
>>618388

Grab the WEAPON stuck in the notebook and check if said notebook can still work despite the obvious damage it sustained
>>
>>618388
Shoot TRUMP with the shotgun
>>
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>>618404
you pry the SHARP WEAPON out of the notebook

This is getting cumbersome

You flip on the laptop but it seems nonresponsive, the screen is stuck on the webpage of your favorite quest web-comic!

Unsurprisingly it still hasn't updated
>>
>>618499

Throw the notebook at the brownie bag to make it fall.
>>
>>618499
Knock down Bronie bag and use Trump head to smash next wall
>>
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>>618510
The bag unceremoniously falls to the ground

>>618649
You're pretty sure trump's ego isn't the only thing making that statue far too heavy to use as a battering ram
>>
>>618773
Check inside bag
>>
>>618773
Equip that mother fucker
>>
>>618781
Seconding
>>
>>618773
>>618781
>>618980

Check the bag but stay alert for danger.
>>
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>>618781
>>618944
>>618980
>>619044
you equip the bag and quickly draw up a mock inventory screen on a piece of paper you found

Looks like it contains a single skill book

you think trump might have given you a bit of a stink eye but other than that, danger continues to be non existant
>>
>>619111

Check the skill book.
>>
>>619111
Check underneath Trump.
>>
>>619111
read PRINCIPLES OF MATHEMATICAL ANALYSIS SKILL BOOK
>>
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>>619128
>>619213
you expect the skill book to be something handy, and as such examine it further

you act quick and attempt to look away but it's already too late, you are now incredibly proficient at drawing furries

>>619189
you assume there's all sorts of good loot underneath the slightly imposing billionaire's bust, unfortunately as stated a few commands back, he's far too heavy for you to lift
>>
>>619237

Shoot that fucker down.
>>
>>619237
Also draw a furry
>>
>>619237
Take a deep breath and accept that maybe it's not so bad. Furries have so many NEET bux and no fiscal responsibility.

Go in the other room and check that bloody bag in the closet, maybe defacing the bust will decrease its power.
>>
>>619285
You fool. Trump feasts on bloodshed!
>>
>>619237

Ok... maybe we can use this skill to make art commision to earn money or making furry porn...

Go back the other room.
>>
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>>619252
>>619285
You draw quite possibly the worst thing you've ever created on the back wall of the room

everyone in your family tree sheds a tear

>>619249
you also fire off your last shot directly point blank into trump's face

looks like nothing can get through that thick head of his! you are at an impass
>>
>>619237
Attempt to climb onto the statue and check out what the brownies were hanging on. It appears to look like the bottom rung of a ladder.
>>
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>>619379
shit messed up the counter

animating in photoshop is hard work
>>
>>619390
climb on top of the statue and declare yourself king of trump tower
>>
>>619402
and then jump to the laddar in the back?
>>
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>>619385
you spend a good 30 minutes shambling up the side of trump's toupee

>>619402
You then declare yourself King and CEO of trump tower

the statue sheds a tear

>>619405
>>619385
It is as expected, a ladder
>>
>>619447

Climb the ladder, and once more, check around before reaching the next floor.
>>
>>619447

Climb up while saying Trump's hair is a wig.
>>
>>619447
Climb
>>
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>>619477
>>619478
>>619512
you poke your head out as far as you can and look into the light

If memory serves, this is your room. looks like somebody moved most everything out and chained the door shut
>>
>>619929

Try to crawl out and look around..
>>
>>619929

Try to move that bed out of your way to climb, and then check if there's something behind the poster
>>
Pee on the chained door to melt the chains
>>
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>>620021
>>620271
>>620360
You VERY QUICKLY and VERY GRACEFULLY slide yourself out from under the bed without screwing up and looking stupid

"That was easy" you accidentally say out loud. nobody in the room believes you.

you ripped off the poster, revealing another poster

you also made quick work of the door by peeing on it and accomplishing little else
>>
>>620739

Clearly, whoever touched his room planned to test his patience. Remove posters until there's no more posters
>>
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>>620800
Sure, yes, it was totally a test by whoever put you in this predicament instead of a horrible attempt to hide the place where you do that thing everyone does when they're home alone.. yep

it's probably a secret peephole! you say out-loud even though nobody in the room believes you
>>
>>620952
Stick the barrel of the shotgun into the hole before looking in.
>>
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>>621047
you stick the shotgun in, better to be safe than sorry, though you don't actually have any more slugs for it

you then try to take a peek
.
.
.
little did you account for the fact that you're an idiot
>>
>>621253

De-stupidify yourself by removing the shotgun and then peep into the hole
>>
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>>621293
You really get your peep'n on and peep it up

your gaze is immediately halted by some faggot standing in the way
>>
>>621447

Politely ask the turbo faggot his name and what's his story, just to know if he's a potential ally, or somebody to kill with SHARP WEAPON later.
>>
>>621447
Scream: get out the way faggot, I want to see whats in the room
>>
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>>621478
>>621500
you kindly call him a faggot and tell him to move, your trying to peep out some sweet loot

"Oh yeah, sure thing dude" he replies and obliges

you ask him what he's up to

"oh you know, trapping people, summoning demons, the usual"
>>
>>621579

Tell him you want to get into the whole demon summoning business. As the summoner of course, not as the sacrifice
>>
>>621579
Ask him his name.
>>
>>621715
This.
And call him an edgelord.
>>
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>>621715
>>621892
>>621899
You inquire within, he claims there really isn't any need for more summoners. you hold fast and press on about it. he attempts to explain the concept of supply and demand but you are clearly just not getting it

you call him an edgelord and he tells you that wasn't very nice and you should refrain from speaking to people like that if you want good first impressions and blah blah blah words, he continues speaking
>>
>>622014
Apologize and inquire what he is summoning.
>>
>>622060

Seconding this. Maybe he's summoning a succubus, or the antichrist or satan.
>>
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>>622060
>>622078
you inquire

"idunno man I just turned this book to a random page and started chanting. I'm not too picky as long as I get mass chaos or infinite life or whatever"

he tells you he had just finished up the ritual and he had been waiting around for them for like 30 minutes before you showed up
>>
>>622280

Tell him that he must be new in the demon summoning business, because even a low level demonology fan like you knows that each demon has different powers and different requirements to fulfill. If he's summoning something a bit out of his league he could be the one being fed to the demons and win nothing from it.
>>
>>622280
Ask him what he needs to make the whatever he is summoning
>>
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>>622336
You start throwing down at him all about demon summoning just absolutely laying into him about all the potential self harm he could have caused, you're about to get into the real nitty gritty of the situation and he looks like he's about to shed a tear..

"Sup sluts" interrupts the fire imp succubus thing that is now hovering in his room
>>
>>622453
also this music is playing during the encounter
https://youtu.be/VjgShiL_Ck8
>>
>>622453
Ogle succubus
>>
>>622453

Congratulate the summoner, because if he dies, he will die happy. Then keep peeping, just in case some hot action happens.
>>
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>>622686
>>622707
you ogle her like the sex starved basement dweller that you are

the cultist says something like "I was kind of hoping for a guy or something with a dick at least" and eventually leaves with the general order of "destroy some shit or whatever"

you ogle for a minute more before she pipes up

"You know you aren't being very discreet about that"
>>
>>622788

Tell her that you haven't seen a female that sexy in ages, then ask what are her prices for her services as you are kind of in a small trouble, namely being trapped here.
>>
>>622788
"yeah i know"
>>
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>>622922
"yeah I know, it's like human nature or something" you excuse it with
>>622814
"well, I'm a succubus, it's like my thing"
...
"also, from the looks of you,are you sure it's 'ages' or is it 'never' "

>>622814
you inquire

she explains that while she'd usually expect some sort of blood sacrifice, the other dude had already killed a goat, and since he didn't actually issue a direct command,, and considering you were present for the conjuring or w/e, she says the rules are pretty ambiguous in that regard so she can probably let it slide.

"so whadya want" she says as she appears next to you
>>
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>>623044
god-damnit ignore the glowing pee
>>
>>623055
d-don't make me say it... baka!
>>
>>623044
u wan sum fuk
>>
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>>623084
"that's literally like the thing you have to do" she reminds you

>>623135
you elaborate

"Ok like, oh jeez. Alright I could theoretically do that,,, orrrrrr I could free you from this room also"

she continues to dodge, "Like if we fucked I could call that your one wish and then poof outta here so like, just for both of our interests let's not and instead do a different thing that could potentially be more helpful"
>>
>>623055
Ask the Succubus if she can bring over that Summoner's book from behind the wall if it is still back there.
>>
>>623324
Hmmm...
then I wish for TWO fukks
>>
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>>623326
she's pretty sure he took it with him, but regardless, she's also almost certain there are rules in place that keep demons from messing with the things that are used to summon them, it's like a whole thing with the eternally damned or whatever

>>623372
"You aren't going to drop this, are you?" she asks defeatedly

you know I can just as easily turn around and leave, it's not like I'm bound to you by contract, just by good will

she reminds you that you could ask for like, anything at all and you are only concerned with fucking her
>>
>>623514
Ask her to open the door for us. Or ask her to erase the knowledge the skill book forced us to learn. It's a tough choice.
>>
>>623514
>Ask what she means by "Our" interests.
>>
>>623514
rip off and begin chewing a slice of your hoodie as you converse with it
>>
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>>623528
she gladly obliges and rips a hole through reality, scattering the door

your newly acquired skill is newly removed. "Out with the old in with the nothing" as your father used to say

>>623551
"dude c'mon if I screwed every neet loser I found trapped in a labyrinth of rooms with increasingly stranger aspects then.." she loses the train of thought

"Look I just really don't want to fuck you okay?"

>>623597
you stuff a piece of the arm of your EXPENSIVE FANSTORE HOODIE into your mouth as a shitty method of dealing with rejection

"man if you're that broken up over it I'll leave you my number and you can like, call me later to hang out. is that alright?"
>>
>>623669
Tell her that's cool. Ask her if she has any seasonings for your sleeve.
Or to see her demon tits. Either works.
>>
>>623514
> We got a succubus's phone number, an exit to the next room, and the valuable information of knowing the demons and possibly hell exists. Mission accomplished.
>>
>>623669
b-but no phone
>>
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>>623699
She parts with a nod and a drop of a pepper shaker

>>623702
>>623789
it's a nice thought, but you can't help but feel like shit, after all, you did get friend zoned by a succubus. their textbook definition is a being who's soul purpose is to lure you into sex.

also your mouth tastes like peppered brony sweatshirt

oh well, you decide to pick up your feet and carry onward..... NEXT TIME...
.
.
.

here's my twitter where I give a sick heads up every decade for when I'm doing another of these: https://twitter.com/illumirnate
>>
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oh almost forgot, if anyone would archive this thing somewhere that'd be awesome, I still haven't figured out thisisnotatrueending's shit and when/if I continue this story I'd like to have the link there



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