Last time on SAO Quest: >>555691Character Stats: https://docs.google.com/document/d/17HaIOmLtT6mKhBf71pHVtX7pJ2RFquATuXMkigMd7KU/edit?usp=sharing"We're leaving town, there's a small village with a good sword to the north, but there's a mini-boss on the way, think you're up for it?"Incog nods "Yeah, I think we can take on a monster, is it alone?"You snrk "No, there's going to be a lot of fighting on the way, lots of roaming mobs.""Mobs?"You already forgot how little she knows, jesus. "Just another word for monsters, I'm not gonna get into the etymology of the word, you don't need to know it, but if you hear someone say mob in here, they're probably not talking about an angry group of people""Okay, so, lots of monsters to fight... but I don't see a weapon on you, what do you use?" "I'll explain that later, for now, let's get moving" The two of you begin a breakneck pace out of town... or at least you do, god damn Negro has a BARELY HIGHER AGI AND SOMEHOW SHE CAN DO A FAST JOG WHILE YOU SPRINT!This game sucks.As you get out the gate, you see most of the boars are gone, replaced with wolves, but up ahead on top of a hill, one in particular stands out, slightly taller than the rest with pure white fur, making it stand out against the darkening sky. EngageGo around it
>>563116Rare monster?>KILL IT NOW!
>>563116>EngageYou whore Kayaba, I was elsewhere.
>>563116>EngageRAAAAAGE!!!Caught the last one after the end, love what you're doing here. Especially the SAO:Abridged twist
>>563116Engage for delicious exp
>EngageWe want to fuck it up especially if rare mob
>>563116>engageBLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
>>563116RIP AND TEAR
That wolf appears to be a rare mob, which means MORE EXP!COMBAT INITIATED!You charge at the beast and it's name flashes over it's head:White FangRoll 1d20 to attack, and then decide:Tell Incog to hang backLet Incog join the battle!
>>563116Also if agility makes you this fast then we have to go super high agility. We aren't going to be equipping heavy shit right? We're just fisting it out so we should be fine going massive agi allocation.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>563173Tell Incog to hang back
Rolled 8 (1d20)Tell her to come in but be cautious as fuck
>>563173Tell incog to get in the wolf's way to goad it into a switch so we can fuck it up.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>563173>Tell incognegro to join in.
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>563183Oh also rolling
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>563192I'm sorry, I should probably have reminded everyone that only the first roll counts.>>563177You launch at the beast, your fist crashing into it as you call Incog into the fight!White Fang's HP: 750/800You Switch, and she attacks with her... dagger? how the hell did she get something other than a starting weapon? Now that you think about it you never saw a sheath on her at all!
Rolled 13 (1d20)uh... that was odd, the last line shouldn't have been blue.>>563207Her attack glances off White Fang's teeth, but she gets out of the way unharmed, leaving it to target you again!It leaps forward, but it's jaw is closed, it's using it's claws!
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>563217>Spin kick!
>>563207Continue the wolf smackdown
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>563207Grab it and throw kek
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>563217catch its paw and break it
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>563223Ok wow
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>563229What the fuck am I even doing anymore
>>563224If only crit were prioritized.
>>563217The claws smack directly into your chest, leaving bright red lines painfully scraping down your chest. You shove it back and while it's airborn you spin-kick it, knocking it away!HP: 430/525White Fang's HP: 710/800Switch!Launch an attack!
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>563207Bleeeeeegh. Criticals still take priorities tho right?Rolling for double crit
>>563237>Launch an attack!We can take this. We dont need to lose her because she learned how to fight against a unique creature
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>563248woops
>>563224I guess that crit doesn't count huh?Listen op make it best of 5 or whatever with crits prioritize for all rolls. First come first serve is autistic if there is going to be multiple people involved.
>>563254Best of five is too many, especially on this board. Three is usual. hell, lets compromise: first roll counts but if a crit is roll in the first three let it modify
>>563254alright, a lot of people have been asking for this, but I'm still concerned about not being able to get the rolls I need if I ask for more than one, so I'll compromise: Best of 3 from now on, highest roll obviously.
>>563264This is good.We can win better now.
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>563237Launch an attach, attempt to disable/hinder movementThanks man
>>563264Personally I like three more than five. Still gets people in without giving us as much of an edge besides it doesn't look like you have a shortage of rollers
>>563260>>563264This quest had almost 600 posts yesterday. I'm pretty sure five is more than justifiable. But whatever floats your boat.
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>563237>Launch an attack.Punch it.
>>563264Thanks Kayaba, Worse case if this starts to die down just take the avg of the 3.
Rolled 11 (1d20)Attack once more I suppose, but we should switch next so as to not take too much damage
Rolled 2 (1d5)>switch to best of three>all three rolls are worse than when I was asking for first roll>>563273You follow through on the kick with a punch to the gut, but it doesn't seem too fazed by the attack, if anything, it just gets angry. But instead of attacking, it gets up and howls!
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>563297RIP ITS TEETH OUT AND STAB IT BACK
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>563297Double down, punch it in the throat to stop the call
Uhh that's probably going to bring more wolves. Should we book it now or stay and possibly get fucked?In the meantime, attack again
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>563297Drop kick on its spine
>>563297Two more wolves have joined the fight!White Fang's HP: 700/800Wolf 1's HP: 250/250Wolf 2's HP: 250/250Select Two Targets, and then roll 2d20, the first roll will be yours against the first target, and the second will be Incogs against the second!
Rolled 5, 2 = 7 (2d20)>>563308Wolf fangWolf 1
>>563308Attack Alaph wolf, and Wolf 2see if we can't lock there jaws but shoveing a fist into the corners of there mouth.
Rolled 5, 15 = 20 (2d20)>>563308Keep on the main and Wolf 1Get Incog on wolf two, switch around as needed but we want the main wold on us and not her
Rolled 1, 8 = 9 (2d20)>>563304Great, no roll lmaoWolves 1 and 2
Rolled 1, 16 = 17 (2d20)>>563308Attack both wolves in order.
Rolled 18, 18 = 36 (2d20)>>563316I FORGOT MY ROLL. WHOOPS
Rolled 7, 16 = 23 (2d20)>>563308We'll take on the fang while Incog gets 1
Guys looks like we are doing shit. We have to jump into the trees and stealth drop/kill the wolves for bonus damage and security.
Dice failure aside this would be the best of three if it had rolled with the post, so we're going with it.>>563325You smash your fist into White Fang, and a few teeth fly out!White Fang's HP: 530/800At the same time, you direct Incog to stab the second wolf, and she does so with gusto, leaping onto it's back and driving her knife into the creature's skull!Wolf 2's HP: 25/250
Holy shit our rolls got bad fast
Rolled 2, 14 = 16 (2d20)>>563345>White fang>Wolf 2
Rolled 13, 18 = 31 (2d20)>>563345Throw wolf 2 into White Fang's mouth.
Rolled 10, 12 = 22 (2d20)>>563345Sit on one of them until they are ded
Rolled 17, 17, 1 = 35 (3d20)>>563345The three wolves attack as one, White Fang and Wolf 1 go for you, and Wolf 2 thrashes back against the catgirl riding it!
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>563345Try to snap boss wolfs neck
>>563345Holy shit, she stabbed it like a pro
>>563357All Wolf 2 manages to do is drive the knife deeper into it's brain, and it shatters into shards.White Fang and Wolf 1 have MUCH more success biting into your ankles, tripping you up and making you gasp in pain!HP: 200/525Have Incog help!Fight them yourself!
>>563367>What happens when the waifu claims you.
>>563345And to think, we doubted her.
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>563371>Have incognegro helpThe overly proud die.
Rolled 11, 1 = 12 (2d20)>>563371Fight them yourself!RIP OFF EARS
Rolled 18, 3 = 21 (2d20)>>563371Fight them!
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>563371>Have Incog help!Have her focus on Wolf 1 to get it out of the way. RIP AND FUCKING TEAR THE ALPHA
Rolled 14, 20 = 34 (2d20)>>563371In case it's two dice.
Rolled 12, 17 = 29 (2d20)>>563371Well shit. Have Incog distract the pair while we go for a sucker punch on the Fang.
>>563384Well,good job I guess
>>563384Your foot shakes off the first normal wolf, and then cups under it's chin with force, ripping it's head from it's shoulders and obliterating it into shards!White Fang however is still a concern, but you've shaken him off and returned to your feet.White Fang HP: 490/800You've also regained plenty of HP from your kill!HP: 300/525Switch!Solo fight it
>>563419>SwitchLet's relax a bit.
>>563419>Switch!Let's see what she can do, take a breather, and make sure nothing else is sneaking up on us. We tank, she DPS
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>563419Obviously solo
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>563419>Solo Fight it>RIDE IT
Jesus christ, crit then crit fail for solo lmfao>Switch
>>563419>Switch!>>563427>>563428What is happening to the dice?
>>563419>You've also regained plenty of HP from your kill!That's a thing?>Solo fight it
>>563445Lifesteal from helmet as far as I know
Taking a dinner break, will be back in ~15 minutes.
If we are going to switch let's use that distraction to jump into the trees and stealth kill the wolfOr tame it..
>>563456derp, that's right, thanks
>>563458>Stealth kill>With fistsWe don't know CQC anon.
>>563444>>563437Clearly that 1 was meant for some other poor fuck.
Nah but come on guys! We can do it solo! Let's have at em!
>>563467We will obviously learn with time. Plus I know martial arts, so technically by extension the mc irl has to have some affinity with fighting as well.
>>563481Cool, what did you study? I did Tae Kwon Do for a few years
>>563467>>563481So are you suggesting that we turn Sauska into Big Boss?
>>563491Same actually, though it was really on and off. I barely ever tested for my belts but I still had the ability of a brown belt.
>>563499Is icognegro our ocelot
>>563499Clearly the only way to win this game is easy to guess.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3472Q6kvg0
>>563456Indeed it is, and let me take the time to explain how lifesteal works:Every 10 HP of damage you deal, you gain one, this is stored inside the helmet until you actually kill something, at which point you gain all the health you have obtained. Your insta-gib was the equivalent of 700 Damage, plus all the damage you have dealt to White Fang, leading to a nice 100 HP heal.
>>563499If your implying strength carry for stats then he'll no, that's stupid, but yeah we could totally carry the persona
>>563522>He'llWho's the nigger that invented autocorrect?
I wonder if we can respawn?
>>563522So we become Big Wolf or Wolf Boss?
>>563544We become wolf boss. Duh.Speaking of which we should tame the wolf
>>563551If we can naturally.
>>563557We must wrestle it into submission and become the alpha
>>563567To do that we need to solo it.It's a plan then?
>>563551Ehhh, I would rather kill and gain EXP and potential upgrade materials for our helm.
sorry for those of you who wanted to tame it. One you don't have the skill, two...>>563427You bring your hands together and smash both of them down onto White Fangs skull, smashing it into shards!COMBAT ENDED[/bred]Loot Obtained:>White Wolf Pelt>Wolf Pelt x3>Wolf fangs x6>1500 EXPYou look over to Incog, and see she got some EXP too, and is currently beaming at you, wolf blood spattered through her hair and on her face in... honestly a rather lewd fashion. It fades quickly though, and you look up at the full moon in silence, then back down, noting most of the mobs on the road ahead are gone now, and you're starting to feel exhausted from all the fighting. Keep going through the nightSet up camp and sleep
>>563581>Set up camp and sleepRip Wolf. Also, set a rotation. Less tired one takes first watch.
>>563580Good point. But if we can do it then having a loyal direwolf mount would be majorly useful early game.
>>563581>Set up camp and sleep
>>563581>Set up camp and sleepAsk if she leveled. Ask what class she made to get a knife. Ask if she has any skills
>>563581>Set up camp and sleepWe still have not done that. We're probably running on empty.
>>563581Keep going through the night.Never stop.We need to get used to being hardcore grinders.
>>563581>Set up camp and sleepCampfire scene time. We've been pushing it all day.
SighAlright since everyone wants to be camping plebs we should at least train our sixth sense and reflexes by staring into the fire and entering meditation.
>>563620Oh and like hell were sleeping on the ground and with a campfire.In the trees and with a little stick to act as a candle.
BUT SAUSKA FORGOT TO TRAIN HIS COOKING TO LEVEL 1 AND COULD NOT MAKE A CAMPFIRE
So, all in favor of giving Cog the first boss last hit drop so she can assasin it up?
>formatting>>563581You turn to your partner "I don't think these things respawn very often, this is probably our best chance to get some rest, I know I'm tired, how about you?"She nods "I... probably need to sleep, I've got some things I wanted to talk to you about though... like my Sister, but uh, we probably want a campfire, did you bring any wood? I've got a survival kit from one of my quests but I don't know how much it has."You shake your head, you ain't got jack shit for camping supplies. She quickly throws down a fireplace and lights it with a match. And then produces two bedrolls from her inventory, tossing one to you."Thanks" you say, laying it out on the other side of the fire from her and then sitting on top of it, "So, what about your sister?"She tears up a bit, all her bottled grief starting to pour out. "W-well, I just wanted to talk about her, ya know? so I'm not the only one in this game who remembers her, b-but if you have something else, maybe keeping my mind off of her will help more, I don't know..."Let her ventTalk about something else (Write In
>>563644HahNoLet her learn on her own. She seems talents
>>563651>Let her vent
>>563644Not at this point. I'm honestly more worried about us being well geared than I am keeping her alive. But, if we can get some more sweet gear or our own first, absolutely.
>>563651Let her vent as we stare into the fire.
>>563651>Let her vent.>>563644I'm fine with that.
>>563651>Your face is all bloody.
>>563652I just realized>talentsFeels bad
>>563651"Go ahead and vent, I can wait with my shit"She nods, tears streaking down her face as she begins."Her real name was actually Anonymous, and mine is Incognito, our parents were big nerds back in the day, it seems silly, but we didn't mind, she was always so sad though, the only way she felt happy was in a game, and as a result, I learned to play too, whatever she was into... except the MMOs, that was her special thing, but we always made time to play together on some other game."She takes a deep breath, choking back sobs."S-she beta-tested the game, would stay in that helmet for hours and hours, and we were starting to grow apart, so I decided to break our unspoken rule and got the game for myself, even though it was an MMO, and she seemed so happy, she said she was gonna show me how to play a-and then..."She stops, breaking down completely.Go over and hug herWait
>>563710>Go over and hug her>Sad Howls
>>563710>Shoulder PatThe pain of a shit name.
>>563710>Go over and hug her
>>563710tell her our sob story we came up with just now
>>563710>Wipe her face clean>"You got blood all over you.">Keep wiping.
>>563710>Go over and hug herWhat the hell. Although I get the impression that Sauska wouldn't be very good at this emotional stuff.
>>563710Go over and hug her
>>563738OUR FATHER WAS A WOLFOUR MOTHER A WHORETHEN WE GOT ADOPTEDNOW WE TOO ARE TRAPPED IN HERE.
>>563710>Go over and sit nextto her, let her lean on us if she feels like itLead her to make the first move.
>>563710>Go over and hug her>then give her the D
>>563710>Look her in the eye: "That's the lamest reason to play a game I've ever heard."
>>563752No anon taking advantage of a loli who's sibling just got killed is bad
>>563752>18 hours worth of semen made a glopping noise as it flowed endlessly into Incognegro.
>>563764god DAMNIT ANON, I needed those sides.>>563710Fuck it, this girl needs 100 CCs of hugs, STAT.You move around the fire, sitting behind her and wrapping your forearms over her shoulders. She continues to sob for... god knows how long, but eventually, the tears stop, and she looks up into your muzzle, gasping in shock."Y-You have a human head!"Fuck.ExplainTry to change the subject
man, we're an SAO protagonist in a SAO:Abridged quest, this sucks
>>563762My Mind is TEllin Me NO.But My BODY!My BODY's TEllin me YEEES
>>563768>Explain.It was a joke.The masks a drop.>>563774Let's listen to our body then.It's the one with the fists.
>>563768>Don't worry, I'm not human. Just look at this face!
>>563768>Explain>>563748>>563774but my bodyyyyy MY BODYYYYY TELLING MEEEE
>>563768>ExplainYeah, this is just a sweet drop from another group of wolves. Regular ones, not like that big one back there....Should i put it back on?
>>563768Run into the woods never to return
>>563768See. This shot was a bad idea.Whatever Easy fix.>just an accessory. But nevermind that. Go to sleep
>>563768>ExplainYou trusting me with your sad story lifted the curse or some other bulshit explanation.
>>563768I'm a furry.
>>563768>I knew you would be disappointed.
She saw your human head under the mask, goofs, you didn't take it off.
>>563768>Uh, I'm a furry. I like dressing up as animals. Is that alright with you?
>>563800>I'm a shapeshifterFucking do this now or die
>>563810Go die, your write-in sucks.
We could just say we're RPing as a guy who got cursed to have a wolf head or something
It seems you have discovered my secret! Little did you know that... Okay it's a rare drop and the mask helps me cope a bit with what's happening. I just thought with your ears it might help having someone in a similar situation. Sorry
>>563791Jk tho this seems the most appropriate.
>>563791This is retarded
>>563813B-b-but anon-kun that's mean!
>>563814>>563815Why? Let's just say we like wearing it, which is the truth.
>>563768"Yeah... I was mostly lying as a joke, but uh, yeah, I'm human, this is just a rare drop from the wolves, not the big one, just the normal ones, figured with your whole ear situation it'd be nice to have someone else who fucked up..." She pouts at you "You're kinda an asshole, making me vent like you're a psychiatrist and then I find out you've been lying to me this whole time?" She shoves your arms off. "No cuddles for you, go sit on the other side"Try to make her not angryAccept your fate
>>563822We are a lean, mean, furry machine
>>563824Accept defeat.>don't let the words of one asshole rob you of sleep.
>>563824Just go to bed, first girl worst girl
>>563824>Try to make her not angry.
>>563824>Try to make her not angryNobody can decide on a good write inGet yelled atFucking ell.
>>563824>Accept your fateOkay, I'll just be over here by myself. All these hugs gotta go somewhere.Start hugging yourself",,so comfortable..."Some nice queso, cheesyness
>>563824>Accept your fate
>>563824Unfortunately, you now know my true identity so you must now be permanently silenced.*unsheaths Fists*
>>563824Sorry, how about a story to take your mind off things. How about the snow dragon as a story something we know exists and has lore already
>>563824>Apologize and accept your fateWe done fucked up
>>563838Agreed, first girl is worst girl>>563840There was one. Either people were lazy or op was too fast
Was wondering if anyone was going to archive these threads or if If I should try.
>>563824Run away crying>She called me an asshole!
Can our wolf head bite things?
Also if you guys really want to go down the ultimate cuck route then keep it voting for us begging for her mercy by all means
>>563824>"Hold on, your face is too damn filthy from tears and wolf blood, you gotta clean it.">Tear shirt off>"Here, use this"
>>563862You. I like you
Seriously though, we lost the social encounter. Suck it the fuck up and move on. We don't need every women after our nuts from second one
>>563867>>563824Forgot to link back
>>563824meh, just go to sleep. We're an independant man, we don't need to girl cuddles.
>>563824You sigh, get up and move back to your bed"Sorry" you say, you were going to say more but she cut you off."I don't really care if you're sorry, this is a shit day, the shittiest day of my fucking life! and then I find out the one person who's actually shown me some god damn kindness was lying about something SO GOD DAMN SUPERFICIAL, seriously, all you had to say was 'this is an item' and you couldn't even do that you fucking ASSHOLE! Be glad I'm even letting you stay at my campfire!"Holy shit, woman be pissed.SleepWrite In
>>563882Yeah exactly my point.Otherwise I think we might end up like another mik fag.
>>563887Welp time to leave, this is one annoying cunt
>>563887>SleepNo need to deal with this salt.
>>563887>Well, you could've guessed at what it was. Not my fault you thought I was an actual wolf person.
>>563887Again because why not.>Run away crying>She called me an asshole!
>>563887>SleepShe is obviously in a bad spot, let her process, anything we do now will be Wrong.
>>563887Meh, sleep time. Don't care.
>>563887>SleepWell she kinda has us there, It is by all accounts her camp fire.
>>563887Cry because you will never get to be edgy while moral fags tell you what to do in your head.
>>563887>Sleepdid she get trapped in here during her period?
>>563887>Hey, that hurts my feelings, real deep, all the way down to my fluffy tail.
>>563887Confirmed. The majority of people in this thread are absolute morons.Please stop making our character shit. Powergame instead.My vote goes to>stare into the fire until we slip into a tranceThis should improve our reflexes and passive awareness
>>563887>SleepJust let her be for now.
So did we ever actually tell her we were a wolfman or is the QM inventing drama?
>>563914that's not how it works retard
>>563914+1disregard hoes, acquire power
>>563923Eh. We said it was a complicated story.
>>563914We've been over this, Thats not how the thing works.
>>563923We told here there was a story behind the wolf mask but not much else.So OP drama I guess.
>>563923We said we didn't wanna explain what was up with our head when she asked if it was an item
>>563887>PK her, PK her, PK her for the XPhahahaha
>>563923No actually incog is just a complete moron. Which qm promptly turned it into moron drama.
>>563887Fuck it, you're not going to get anywhere with her in this state. You hope her mood is just stress from all the bad shit that's been happening, jesus.>End of day 1alright, I'm headed to fucking sleep, tomorrow I'll use this thread again.
>>563887>"I bet those ears are fake anyhow.">stick tongue out at her
>>563960Wow, that was a shit run. Think up some jokes next time if you're going to use the Abridged setting, eh?
>>563960Fuck you waifu fags i hope you are happy
>>563944>>563924Well alright guys. If real life shit doesn't work, then why did we vote to rest inn the first placeHmmm?
>>563967Though, I suppose it can't really be helped, given that we seem to choose the most boring, beta write-ins that are completely serious.
>>563960Thanks for running man, have a good one!
>>563970Think Survival mode for Fallout: New Vegas and 4. You don't get XP by carrying 200 pounds around but you still need to eat/sleep drink/ect I believe.
>>563960Hey, thanks for running. Sorry that things kind of went shit towards the end.
>>563979Thats the problem with /qst/ players, we NEED to be the most likeable, most popular, most powerful MC with a wicked sense of humor and a harem that wants our dick in every quest.
>start quest>decide on macho powergaming at the start>decide to outgame kirito>powergame accordingly>decide to then waste time on insults, fair enough it was in the moment>pussy shows up>pussy is now priority one>find out she's incompetent, keep rolling with it>waste time searching with pussy, fair enough nobody remembered what the black monument was really>liability gets hardened from loss, maybe it's worth the time spent now>only then resume to powergaming>fight alpha wolf>decide to camp because a sentence in the qm exposition said we were tired even though it's a video game>waste time fucking around with pussy, fair enough we are already wasting time as is>get caught into a moron trap>try to entangle further into the moron trap>liability now hates us and we are still wasting timeYou stupid motherfuckers.
>>564008I just wanna be a gruff guy who likes to dress up like a wolf who busts heads and rips out spines. And maybe have the QM take it upon themselves to tell some jokes rather than encouraging the players to attempt to outsnark each other.
>>564034Dude, you aren't supposed to take it seriously, it's SAO: Abridged. I wish the QM would acknowledge that too
>>564035Well now we actually have some basis for Incog to get snarky, because we done pissed her off.Serious Buisness first day, second day I'll be ready to make you fuckers lose your sides
>>564034>taking a fanfic quest based on bad anime this seriouslyjust relax and have fun anon
>>564041Pretty sure the abridged was just an attention grabber. Qm is just fitting in the characters and shot from there. If everything was abridged goofy then like hell I would keep at this quest.>>563996But you have to realize, that partial realism is largely retarded especially in an environment without magic
>>564057Quests serious business anon
>>564066I did not make the anime/Quest/manga. I simply know about it. They also brush over ALOT of the game mechanics as it progressed.
>>564057That's a really good point....But It's hard being so intimate with the EDGY machismo and not giving a damn ya know?
>>564057>You get what you wanted (pussy and gurrrl drama)>This makes it unfun for some of us>chill bro its just a quest
>>564051So does Nito have Wolf AIDS now from not washing her dirty face? Is there a cure for that?
>>564159It faded like everything else that happens to players. Wounds, blood spatter, that sort of thing, it all fades after a few seconds.
>>564197Can we whisper to Kayaba in the night sky that his game lacks immersion?
>>564202We should assemble a detailed litany of his game's flaws, and recite it regularly.Get the entire playerbase to sing it loudly at odd times of night, that kinda thing.
So when do we get Yui?
>>564289When we cuck the asshole for her.
>>564289>wanting anything to do with the character whose plotline cements SAO as not just bad, but utterly fucking awful
>>564316go watch episode 10 of the abridged series
>>563824>suddenly dramaThis is the most contrived excuse for a shitfit I've ever seen in a while.
>>565609Yeah.Also, we never said anything about wether ot was or wasn't part of us.Just that it was a long story. And explaining mob drops to a newbie would be a pretty damn long story.
>>565704all will be explained in today's run, which starts in... An hour and a half, roughly.fucking hate rush hour traffic
>>565751NEVERMIND, MAKE THAT TWO AND A HALF HOURS BECAUSE PF GOD DAMN ROAD WORK FUUCK
>>565768Feels bad.Though even if I think recent events and player choices are absolute cancer I'll still stick around unless something similar pops up.
>>565777we can make a difference together, anonexcept ill probably just lurk anyways
>>565784How do you expect to make a difference if you arnt doing shit?Granted the hypocrisy is first rate in my sentence.I just wanna go back to outgaming kirito, the unstopable solo walking plot armor shitface we all hate... is that too much to ask?
>>565792don't worry we'll get be an edgy lone wolf when we ditch her or she dies
>>565792It's not that I don't entirely agree, I just don't want to become that some unstoppable solo walking plot armor shitface in the process. Waifus? Nah. Expendable meat shields and minions sound useful though.
>>565812Perfect>>565815But seriously, I get your point. But right now we're already at an objective disadvantage in this world by fighting just with our fists, there is no bonus damage from weapons. We have to rely soley on skill in fighting and physical tenacity. So plot armor really is a No go for us. Qm shouldn't allow that in the first place considering the world of Sao. We aren't even related to kirito.And about the edgy badass thing... personally I'm not too fussed so long as the fights are badass but we can be vigilantes to spice shit up.
Alright so here's something unrelated I'd like to suggest as an upgrade to our gauntlets later down the line:A paralysis thin steel coil that wraps around the wrist, which can be released and used as an incognito takedown tool as well as a whip and helpful miscilanious addition in combat.Whadya think?
>>565915I was just going to suggest upgrading some gloves to try to get unarmed modifiers. I'm up for this if Kayaba is. We probably have to start by learning to put studs in leather or something though. Also white wolf helm when
>>565924When we take the time to do that shit. Hopefully we can just get books with cash to speed up the process
>>565924we got a fuck ton of wolf teeth let's do something with 'em
>>565948Agreed. Tutor systems tend to be crazy expensive though, we should still do at least a little grinding for craft skills.>>565958We DO got a fuck ton of wolf teeth. OP can we upgrade our helm and make wolf teeth gloves?
>>565958We could make simple necklaces and various strings of them to put over our cloak for intimidation. Or make some armor out of them. Wolfbone knuckles on the gauntlets would be cool but it kind of defeats the purpose of being an unarmed badass. Then again so does the paralysis wire.
>>565977You'll need to learn the crafting skill, but yeah, eventually.FUCK. TRAFFIC. JAMS
>>566237I'm assuming we need to invest in crafting supplies like thread from vendors, or can we just sort of magically poof stuff together if we have the materials?We should buy some supplies when we get a little more Cor together.
Are we going all in on the wolf motif that hard?If we make wolf fang gloves we're pigeonholing ourselves into being Yamcha.Just consider that.We're willingly Yamcha-ing our MC.
>>566277It's just for now, there will probably be different themed gear eventually unless howl guy gets his way.But yes, I do kind of want to yell WOLF FANG FIST
anyone know what our howl skill does?
>>566302Yamcha Art Online....I mean, I wouldn't NOT watch it.But I wouldn't enjoy it.
>>566330It would only be one episode. He wouldn't survive.>>566327I don't think it actually does anything. I think people are just being silly. I'm wrong often though.
Welp, looks like I'm running this shit mobile.[b]Dawn of the second Day[/b]You wake up at the asscrack of dawn for no reason in particular, and look over the dwindling campfire at Incognegro, finding her still asleep, curled in the fetal position in what appears to be a puddle of her own tears.[b]Wake her up[/b][b]Leave her behind[/b]
>>566505> Try to wake> If she doesn't get up leave her with a message saying sorry.
>>566505>Wake her upshe get 1 more time >>566514also
>>566505>carry her, try not to wake her upWe need gains and she needs sleep.
>>566505>Wake her ass up
>>566505Gather some food, see if we cant try our hand at cookingWaking up to food is usually good
>>566505Leave her behind
Welp, formatting doesn't work on mobile, fun!>>566505You pull yourself up and get moving, giving her a shake and then rolling up your sleeping pad while she stretches. She doesn't say anything to you as she throws the campfire back into her inventory, and soon you're both ready to go.>Ask if she wants to keep going >Go solo
>>566559> Ask if she wants to keep goingBut> Won't hold it against her if she's too pissed at us.
>>566559>Ask if she wants to keep going
>>566559>>Ask if she wants to keep going
>>566559>>Ask if she wants to keep goingbut, prep to drop her if her character is entirely useless/angry
>>566559>> Keep goingDon't be a bitch
Internet is gonna be spotty, sorry for any delays.>>566559"You still want to travel with me? I won't hold it against you if you decide to go it alone"She nods, and finally opens her mouth."I'm sorry about last night, I uh... Didn't get a chance to tell you about that.""About what?""I've got a bit of a mental issue, Dissociative identity disorder, I'm normally either happy or normal, but if I get stressed I flip out over stupid shit, I didn't tell you because... I uh, didn't want to scare you away. I knew it was a mask but you didn't really explain and in the heat of the moment I-I... I don't know honestly, I just freaked.""...OK, let's just keep going, I uh, need to process that."WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO ABOUT THIS SHIT!?!?HOW THE FUCK.WHAT EVEN.>Nope outta this>Stick with it.
>>566631>>Stick with it.
>>566631>Stick with it.
>>566631>>Stick with it.Sidenote: DID is the proper term for multiple personality disorder, more having different people in your head than mood swings.She seemed more Anxiety disorder with poor coping strategies that DIDSource: B.S. in counseling psych
>>566631>>Stick with it.not cause of waifu shit but i would love to see where this goes
>>566631> Stick with it. Internally Panic
>>566631>Dissociative identity disorderA S S P U L LSSPULL
>>566631WHAT DO YOU EVEN SAY TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!... Should we get rid of her?Fuck no, she's got a knife, we have fucking fists. Why are you thinking like there's a group of people inside your head discussing things.You keep walking together, staying silent, and quickly come across another pack of wolves. These seem tougher than the ones just outside town.>Engage>Avoid
>>566631>Stick with it.... this seems like a recipe for a legendary psychopathic pk'er, since she really seemed to enjoy combat and now we know she's... a bit unstable, should be fun to see how she turns out.
>>566711> EngageXP pls
>>566711>>Engagegotta grind, maybe we can grapple any that are problematic leaving them open for incog to gut.
>>566711>EngageWe will be the king of ALL WOLVES!
>>566711>>EngageI'M THE ALPHA MALE!
>>566711>>EngageGRIIIIND!!Work our feelings out like a MAN, with our fists!
>>566711>EngageRIP AND TEAR
>>566711>AvoidI'm clearly not going to win this vote but we have better things to do than kill every trash mob that crosses our path
>>566711You motion for Incog to engage with you, and begin your assault.Gonna keep combat simple since I'm on mobile, roll 2d20 one for you one for Incog, best rolls out of three are the ones we go with.
Rolled 10, 4 = 14 (2d20)>>566766
Rolled 13, 18 = 31 (2d20)>>566766
Rolled 14, 7 = 21 (2d20)>>566766
Rolled 19, 8 = 27 (2d20)>>566766
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>566766Rollin cause why not
Rolled 6, 1 = 7 (2d20)>>566815Oh shit ma bad
Rolled 17, 4 = 21 (2d20)>>566766How close are you to the house or your residence?
>>566772You do relatively well, killing two of the pack of seven, but Incog goes full HAM on those poor bastards, slicing them up like a butcher cuts a slab of meat: almost emotionless, efficient, and smiling at the finished product.Oh sweet Jesus on a dildo you managed to group up with a killing machine.>Loot Obtained:3 Wolf Pelts12 Wolf Fangs500 EXPIncog giggles as you scroll through the end of combat menu."I leveled up! I'm level 4 now, gonna do like ya said and put some points in... STR, strength right? Just two though, my other one is going into AGI so I can go even faster!"God damn ninjas.But she's not a ninja!Yes she is faggot don't lie to yourself, she has a knife and is doing an AGI build.You shake your head and look farther down the road, where it looks like a group of humans is coming your way.>Talk to them>Avoid them>Kill them all!
>>566857>Avoid them>Don't trust ANYTHING. not even ourselves.
>>566857> AvoidBut if the crystals above their heads aren't green .> The Coffin Laughs if you know what I mean.
>>566857>Avoid themNo time. Go get sword.
>>566847DELAYS ARE INFINITE BECAUSE FUCK ME I GUESSabout 40 minutes away
>>566857>>Talk to themIf they're player killers we can get our start in the player killer killing field.
>>566857>>Talk to themfrom a distance
>>566857>Talk to themToo early for going full PK, first we corrupt Incognegro to be our loyal killing machine.
>>566857You're too far away to see names or sims crystals, so you make the choice that saves the most time."Let's stay away from other people for now, I don't want to deal with panicking players or dumb NPCs or whatever would be worse." "Okay! Yeah seems like a good idea, I heard you could kill other players in this game, and I don't wanna find out that's true by getting a sword in the gut."...she seems way too willing to follow whatever you say.Should you be worried?Nah it's probably fine.Right?Right...You'll sleep with one eye open tonight. You trek off-road around the group of people, and find that even this far out a lot of monsters have already been killed, or never spawned in the first place. Ahead is a decent sized rock outcropping, looks like there's a cave entrance here.>Check it out>Keep going to Horunka
>>566931Oh god, we get a loyal puppet in upper echelons of Laughing? I'm game for this plan just to see the consequences. SHE COULD BE OUR MOLE!
>>566936> Keep going
>>566936>>Keep going to Horunka...possibly having to carry the crazy girl if she gets tired but cities are safe zones.
>>566936>check it outBoss fight please.Also we are running right? We're not walking like a plebian. At least I'm assuming that's the case.
>>566936>>Keep going to Horunka
Should we just start calling her Cog? considering the plans we seem to have for her it's a fitting nickname
>>566874Damn man.. if it's any consolation I get stuck behind a train every day before work. The train crossing is 2 minutes away from my work place.
>>566936>>Check it outWherever there is grinding, I must also grind
>>566936>>Keep going to Horunkahope we get some better equipment
>>566936>Check it out
>>566936> check it out
>>566936You pointedly ignore the cave, and make your way around it. You hear fighting inside, but that only strengthens your resolve to GTFO, you can grind after you get to town.Of course, it would be nice of your map let you know there was a GOD DAMN MOUNTAIN RANGE IN THE WAY.Seriously, there appears to be one fucking path through it and it seems to be steep as shit.God you hate mountains.Incog looks up and lets out a low whistle "wow, that's a big hill"You give her a look.>Climb the mountain pass>Go back to the road that leads around the range
>>567040>>Go back to the road that leads around the rangemountains tend to be high level areas, we level 4 Try not to get ahead of ourselves
>>567040>>Climb the mountain passwell... damn...also random thought... what if someone was streaming SAO when the whole "you can't leave" thing happened?
>>567040>Climb the mountain pass
>>567040Let's check I out the mountain range, cause what's the worst that could happen?
>>567040You reach the base of the mountain pass in just a few minute of top speed running, and quickly begin your climb, only to be stopped by a puma!...why do animals have such a hard-on for you? Seriously the only other player you've interacted with has fucking cat ears!>Fight it solo>Let Incog solo it>Tag-team it
>>567101>>Tag-team itno risks right now.
>>567101> TAG TEAM BACK AGAIN
Rolled 19, 15 = 34 (2d20)>>567101Tag team that shit! Throw in cog in the air and run at it!
>>567101Teamwork makes the dream work, right?Roll 2d20, best of 3
Rolled 5, 9 = 14 (2d20)>>567122
>>567101>Tag-team itCheck to wreck, lets begin
Rolled 5, 8 = 13 (2d20)>>567122
Rolled 1, 17 = 18 (2d20)Can we keep the "before call" roll please QM?I want to put a puma in a boston crab.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>567122
>>567112>>567122Sorry I got into the moment
>>567137>wasting good rollsDisgusting
>>566710OP's slippinHope he doesn't blow his brains out from the pressure
>>567133Big cat used claws on wineman!It hurt like a fucking bitch!>HP: 50/525Fortunately Incog has a bigger knife and stabbed the kitty in the back, dragging it all the way down to the tail in a bright red line that soon shattered the cat to pieces.You gained no loot or EXP from that, just pain.Incog got Puma Fangs and some EXP.NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT HUG THE PUMA, IT HAS KNIVES.>Keep climbing>Stop and rest to heal.
>>567168>>Stop and rest to heal.
>>567168>>Stop and rest to heal.yeah
>>567168>Stop and rest to heal.
>>567168>>Stop and rest to heal.That's a thing that needs to happen
>>567168It's time to stop
>>567168"Okay, that fucking hurt, Incog would you mind throwing down the campfire? I need to heal like a little bitch."She stares at you, blushing, then shakes her head and does as she's asked.That's odd, she's never looked at you that way befooooo...OH SHIT WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES.>Panic>Panic internally>Nothing is wrong, continue as normal
No dice, we're supposed to be OP, Stahp.
>>567202>Nothing is wrong, continue as normal
>>567202>Nothing is wrong.Helicopter dick.
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>567202>>Nothing is wrong, continue as normalIs this the part where we roll for our dick size?
>>567202>>Nothing is wrong, continue as normalI AM FINE.ALL IS WELL. HEALING. THAT IS WHAT IS GOING ON!
>>567202Realize that this is SAO and the censor will have kicked in already
Rolled 7 (1d8)>>567243Rolling for girth.
>>567267Censor got taken off by asshole creator.
>>567202...You are going to pretend nothing is wrong, and you did not just feel a harsh breeze through your balls.Clothing having durability is bullshit.You sit on the ground and paw through your inventory, realizing you have a few leftover boar asses you can cook. You pull one out and throw it on the fire, looking Incog square in the eye, daring her to say anything."Uh... Y-you have a problem, dude" she says, her cheeks turning beet red."Oh, and what would that be?" You ask as innocently as possible."Y-your clothing kinda vanished, y-your uh... Your penis is hanging out."You make a point of looking down."So it is, well this is a bit of a problem""Uh, do you have any other clothes?""Nope!""Oh... We should probably find you some clothes when we get to town""You aren't bothered by this then?""N-nope, this doesn't bother me at all, I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with seeing a penis for the next however long it takes to get to town!~" she squeaks out the words, obviously flustered.>Wear a wolf pelt to make her more comfortable>Keep going with just the mask and gloves
>>567288Mask. And. Gloves.
>>567288>Wear a wolf pelt to make her more comfortableWe don't want her to die for being distracted.
>>567288>>Keep going with just the mask and gloveslet's go get some new equipment
>>567288>Keep going with just the mask and gloves>Fear NOTHING
>>567288>>Wear a wolf pelt to make her more comfortableHonestly, can we make an attempt at crafting clothes or do we have to see a trainer first to get the skill?
>>567288> PeltLet's not make our only companion uncomfortable.
>>567303Let's work on our crafting and banana hammock it out
>>567319Switching my vote to this.
>>567319changing my vote as well
>>567288>Wear a wolf pelt to make her more comfortableLoincloth. We wolf barbarian now
>>567288>Wear a wolf pelt to make her more comfortableWe've needed a loincloth
>>567288>Keep going with just the mask and glovesJust to play the devil on our shoulder
I AM HOME AT LONG FUCKING LAST>>567288You slap your furry forehead to hopefully kill the stupid cells in your brain for not thinking of this sooner, and then pull a wolf pelt out of your inventory, two wolf pelts actually, you tie them together head to tail and wrap the ensemble around your waist, a rudimentary skirt-loincloth-thing.Items Removed from Inventory>Shirt>Pants>2 Wolf Pelts>1 Boar Flank"There, this better?"She scrubs her face a bit and looks again, the blush having only intensified."Y-yes, thank you... I just realized I never got your name, holy crap!"...Well shit, you did forget that, didn't you.You're god damn stupid sometimes.You look at your meal and realize it's smoking from the bottom.No wait that's just the fire, the meat is mostly fine, a little overdone, but edible. You wonder if your cooking skill went up.>Check skills>Eat fud>Talk
>>567437>Check skillsCRAFTING XP
>>567437Talk and check skills
>>567437>Check skills>Talk too her.
>>567437>Check skillsGotta git that durn craft xp sun.
>>567437>>Eat fud>Check skills
>>567437https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rvaJI2WOaTBoySdKHP1uhrjp-JLLotXjFxjTvKXiOL4/edit?usp=sharingYou decide to open up the Skills menu, noting you have two slots, both are filled, but... you have no other skills, the fuck.Stupid piece of shit game, you can't level a fucking skill if you DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING SKILL.Looks like you're going to need to get into town to learn any skills, maybe you could have learned some back in the Town of Beginnings, but you're too far away for turning back to be anything but a waste of time. You sigh, and look over at Incog, revealing your username:xxXSauskatheuchiaXxx"Snrk...pffffffahahahahaAHAHAHAHAHAH HOLY CRAP! THAT USERNAME IS SO FUCKING STUPID DUDE!"You have officially decided your name is more shameful than showing your dick in public."Just... just call me Sauska""pfffftt, did you SERIOUSLY name yourself after a decades old stupid anime character?""...and you would know of him how, exactly?""...no comment""Thought so"You both sit in silence after that as you eat, restoring your health to full over the course of an hour.>Talk more>Get moving
>>567507> Talk More> So are you one of those Neets who only watches anime? because no way did you recognise my name otherwise.
>>567507>implying we shouldn't do both
>>567526This guy gets it
>>567579You're in every damn quest I'm playing but not the one I'm running. It's weird, I keep expecting to see your trip when I write.
>>567601Quest confirmed shit
>>567507You get up off the dirt road, glad no one else saw your now hidden name.Seriously what the fuck were you thinking when you made that? NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU A STUPID....seriously though this name was a dumb idea worse than BallsDeep69.In any case, you motion for Incog to pick up the fireplace and the two of you get moving again. As you reach the peak, you get a view of the landscape below in all it's beauty. It's about as bog standard of an MMO landscape as you can get: an almost perfectly flat, lush field with a forest as you get farther north, and in that forest is a clearing containing the town of Horunka."So, Incog, how exactly do you know what my name references?" You ask as the two of you take in the view. "Uhh... can I skip the question?""Nah, you know what a joke my name is, I'm not gonna let you avoid the question""Well... remember how I told you my parents were nerds? Well, my dad, he watched a lot of anime and read a lot of manga when he was my age, and he introduced me to the stuff a few years ago, I've been hooked ever since. It's what I did when my sister was playing MMOs.""Huh, well, can't really fault you for that, I guess, though I can call you out on shit taste for liking Naruto"She scoffs "My dad showed it to me as an example of trash, what to avoid, just like my mom made me suffer through Twilight to understand the faults of romance novels"...well then, looks like she was raised right, can't see a problem here, moving on.You both descend the mountain, and you ask another question.Write In
>>567628>Write InWhat class did you pick on creation? Rogue or Thief or something?
>>567628Write Inasses or tits?
>>567628hey bby, wan sum fuq?
>>567628So if oyu were raised on old nerd stuff; does that mean I can MURAMURAMURAMURA when fighting? Not that I do that in my head of course...
>>567601I don't like jumping into quests I can't find the archive too Starborn. It'd be dickish to suddenly vote 'randomly' and wreck shit if people go with it. You know what I mean?>>567622 Nah, Different tastes, different likes >>567628Did you like what you saw earlier?>BallsDeep69 is only bad when you get TRAPPED with it.
>>567645The one running right now has the archive, don't feel pressured to jump in because I mentioned it. But if you're in SAO then I think you'd like it. We're still very firmly in prologue, despite how much jumping ahead of my expectations happens.
>>567656Is it yuri shit?
>>567636This please. Inquire about her skills and inventory and shit
>>567658It was never intended to go Yuri. I know 2 anons have picked a waifu, but our character is only just discovering emotions in general nevermind love and shit.
>>567628"What else do you have in your inventory? You said you got a knife and the campfire gear, but level 3 on just fetch quests... you must have done more than a few, right?"She nods "Yeah, I did a lot of running, that's part of why I put points into AGI, because the description said it increased max speed, and I wanted to go fas-"You are very, VERY rudely interrupted by a song blaring in your ears:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfGjLIPRgDA>Call Kayaba a faggot>Berate Incog for not realizing that Kayaba would use any excuse to troll his players.>Pretend you can't hear it
>>567723>Pretend you can't hear it
>>567723>Pretend you can't hear itQuietly call Kayaba a faggot.
>>567723>>Pretend you can't hear ithe wins if we bother to care
>>567732we can't let the terrorists win
>>567723You ignore it as hard as you can, but it only gets louder and louder, forcing Incog to cover her ears... and then promptly trip, starting a long, long roll down the mountain, ass over teakettle. You can even see a blue blur forming around her."Kayaba you faggot" you whisper quietly, running down the steep slope to check on her.She's fine, thankfully, not even any damage, just shaken up and dizzy as all hell."...please explain what the hell just happened?">Explain the meme>Pretend you're clueless
>>567760>>Explain the meme
>>567760>Explain the meme
>>567507>"Just... just call me Sauska"No, have her call us Wolfington Barksalot
>>567760>>Explain the meme"Listen here, Timmy, and hear about the old days...""I'm not Timmy.""Timmy, in the way back when..."
>>567760it isn't worth explaining this shit-tier meme
>>567760>THE MEMES, THEY GROW TOO POWERFUL WE MUST FLEE.
>>567760>"Hey, would your mom be fine with you traveling with a shirtless wolfman"
also explain how shit this choice of meme makes kayaba's taste.
>>567797As good as ours in choice of username.
>>567760>You ever play a Mario game? You know that weird blue thing with the red shoes? Back in the day, he used to have his own games and TV shows. Even used to be the mascot of his own game console, back when they still made those.
>>567801no, anon, being stupid is not the same as merely pretending to be stupid
>>567801no, anon, we were merely pretending to have bad taste
>>567817>>567829And how do you know he isn't? First one to take things seriously loses when it comes to memes.
>>567843shit, i think we lost the game
Holding on for one more post here then tapping out for sleep.
>>567760"...your parents made you watch Naruto and read Twilight, but they didn't think to show you Sonic X?""...the hell is that? I heard of Sonic a few times, wasn't my style of game, but I have no idea what you're talking about with Sonic X""Oh my sweet summer child" you say, pulling her up off the ground "You have much to learn, let me tell you the tale of one of the most iconic furry characters of the past few decades"And so you do, you explain the sonic franchise as best as you can remember, and specifically touch on the shitty, SHITTY show that was Sonic X."wait, so any time any of us say go fa-"You clamp your hand over her mouth, lest she anger the meme gods. She licks your hand, and you jerk it away."what the fuck?""SORRY! I wasn't thinking it just slipped out!""...you're saying your tongue has a mind of it's own""no? I just... huh, that's weird, I feel like I've done that a lot in the past, but I can't remember ever doing it"...this raises a few questions>jog and talk>keep quiet and go faster
>>567870>>567760that kayaba asshole is lucky that we don't get anonymous to hack him
>>567891>>keep quiet and go fasterlet's move along now
>>567891>jog and talk
>>567891>"Did you lick my hand when I put it over your mouth?"
>>567891>keep quiet and go fasterKirito is going to fucking beat us at this rate>>567867I hate you
>>567891>>keep quiet and go faster
>>567891>>jog and talkBack on the earlier subject, what skills do you have?
>>567891>Jog and talk>You licked alot of things in the past? How old are you again?
>>567891>>567910>>567930Damn, do actually still want to know thatBut afterward we need to press on
>>567891oh god dammit, she's getting cat mannerisms, shit are we gonna start barking or something next.
>>567891>jog and talk>"So this Christopher Thorndyke kid has all these friends with him, including that cripple girl, black kid, and... I think there was another girl... and he's still all like, 'Sonic, you can't leave! If you do, I'll be alone again!' I'm pretty sure he was right, he WAS the main sidekick only because he had a pet talking hedgehog that was all kinds of radical.">"Though, whenever Sonic raced that kid's uncle in the F-1 Pursuit vehicle, those were some good episodes.">"But yeah, it was shit, the games told the stories they rehashed in that anime way better.
>>567891You start jogging, and she follows suit, the two of you making a moderate pace towards Horunka."So, the licking thing, any other... weird habits you have?""I've noticed I've picked up a few since my hypnotism sessions"Hold the fucking phone.nohold the fuck upHOLD IThttps://youtu.be/KimFmWFbq0g?t=7s stop after the Hold It, the rest aren't being used, obviously"You were hypnotized? By who? why? what the fuck?""...thought you'd ask, it's a therapy thing for my DID, though honestly it's only seemed to get worse since I started, my doctor asks my parents to leave the room, he puts me in a trance, and when I wake up I feel better for a while, and then I get worse, and it's around the time I have another session scheduled, and then I started picking up weird habits, he said it was my personalities merging, but my parents thought something else was going on, and when they pushed to join a session he said no, and they stopped taking me to them about... two weeks ago?"......That's fucked up on a number of levels.>Tell her your suspicions>Let her believe nothing bad happened.
>>568015>Let her believe nothing bad happened.There is literally no point to ruin her trust of men, nothing can be done about itSkills woman!
>>568015>Tell her your suspicionsSweet-heart, You're fucking doctor had a foot fetish. Literally worse then him having you suck him off.
>>568015What the fuck am I readingWhat the fuck is going on
>>568015>Well, since you've told me about your weirdness, I suppose I should tell you why I was uncomfortable explaining about my wolf mask.>It's cuz I like to dress up as animals.
>>568015>>Let her believe nothing bad happened.yeeaaah, not our place on this one.But my fetish though
>>567932Seconding.Tfw she's 14
>>568015>>Tell her your suspicions
>>568015>>Let her believe nothing bad happened.and the world keeps turning
>>568015not with a ten foot pole, OP
>>568015you're a weird dude OP
>>568015You ain't touchin that shit with a 10 foot pole. No, you don't mean your dick, that'd be even more fucked up. "...Ok""What, no commentary? Everyone I've talked to has given me weird looks when I bring it up but they always said something about how the hypnotist was a creep, what's the deal?""I'm not answering that, trust me, that is something you want to ask your parents about.""Uh, okay? Well I can't really do that now can I? Trapped in a death game remember?"As you both step into the small town, you smile"Not for long you aren't"END OF SESSION 3
>>568181>Not for long>2 mother fucking years later
>>568181>"Not for long you aren't"what?
>>568214a reflection of our powergaming attitude, we're gonna go fast as fuck through this game if we can, right?
>>568235A projection of your assumptions more like.
>>568242>QM>not expecting players to break the fucking game
>>567168If we voted to Tag-Team the Puma, why didn't we get EXP? Isn't that the whole point of grouping up, that everyone gets EXP?
>>568250>>568253You're doing a fine job on your own.
>>568181thanks for running man, loving it!
>>568253Kayaba is a faggot, we explained this already.
>>568250You know, with all your talk of our "Metaknowledge", you haven't pointed out any bugs for us to exploit. Like, Kayaba wouldn't be able to fix any bugs given that trying to patch the game would log everyone out of the server.
>>568298Or would it? Kirito did make an item to put souls in while in the game.
>>568298we could join that one guild kirito was in with saki.Fucker had a item duplitcation cheat before it got patched out.
>>568320I still want the PKK vigilante guild
>>568253did you ever actually invite her to a formal party or have you just been travelling together?also you rolled a 1 and did no damage to the monster
>>568374...how did we know how to open the menu, how would someone from the present day know how to work a futuristic device they are not wearing?
>>568298Because only two bugs are known to exist in the game in SAO abridged, and only one was explained at all. Your meta-knowledge is "you watched the shows"
>>568391Dude the motion to open the menu is shown several times in the show, you wave one finger on your left hand straight downward to open it. Asuna is that you?
>>568392Why did we watch the shows if they were bad?
>>568409She wasn't the only one, remember that. 'Death' by pimping falling partial effects when?
>>568410Cause shit gets overhyped and sometimes you have to see for yourself how shit something is.
>>568374Fuck. Let's invite her to a party next time
>>567723>that shit song>not Escape From the CityReally, Kayaba? If you plan to torment us with Sonic music, at least pick the genuinely catchy song!
>>568391We opened the menu in the last thread, thats how we did all the microtransactions
Since I have doubts formatting will work from this I.P I'll be running a quick test before I really get into the next session[b]Test[/b][i]Test[/b][red]Test[/red]
>>570993New ID unfortunately, doesn't recognize as OP
Reminder that Kayaba is a faggot who's mmo is pure trash.
>>570993Oh that's just fucking dandy, really wish it would be tied to the tripcode rather than the ID/IP.Oh well, let's get started.>>568181"You're serious about that, right? We'll get to go home soon, Kayaba will get arrested or something and be forced to let everyone out?" Incog asks, and you're suddenly forced to wonder why the fuck that didn't happen... for all of two seconds until you realize that trying to remove Kayaba from the game would have only meant the system was running on Auto-Pilot and there wouldn't BE an ending, or even a final boss, because of it.You say as much to her, and she sighs, then brightens "So you think we'll beat the game really quickly?"...shit you should not have said anything, this was a bad thing to say and you are dumb. You shake your head "Not certain, but I've got a good idea of how long this will take and overall it won't be THAT long, I mean, the beta-testers got four months of access and got almost a quarter of the way through, right?"She nods "Yeah, my si- EEP!" she gets cut off as some jackass barrels right through her and you, knocking you both onto the ground. You get up first and catch a glimpse of the asshole.It's Kirito.>Go after him>Ignore him and start looking for quests
>>571040>Go after himwe need to move. now
>>571040>Go after him
>>571040Alright guys, time to metagame.>Go after him
>>571040This is your chance, assuming you let ANY of the plot happen without seriously intervening, this is the one time you get to beat the shit out of that asshole before he powerlevels into oblivion. Or you could just forewarn him of upcoming events and tell him to find some charisma items.Honestly you don't know what exactly you're going to do other than catch up to him, which surprisingly isn't very hard, he stopped at one house in particular, knocking on the door.>Tackle him>Just use words
>>571077That reminds me. We need to find that damn hat before his guild master does.
>>571077>Tackle himYell something stupid while you're at it too.
>>571077Might as well jump onto the bandwagon here.>Tackle himWe need to be the one who power level into oblivion though.
>>571077>>Just use wordsNo need to fucking sperg, guys. this is why we keep fucking up
Alright, I can tell you guys have this vote.
>>571077>Just use words
>>571077You tackle him just as the door opens, sending the both of you sprawling into the house, his sword is pressed into your gut, still in it's sheath, looking up, you notice the lady who opened the door is giving you both a pleasant look, even though though you look like a half-naked barbarian and you just crashed through her front door. "Hey furball, ya mind getting off me? I kinda have a quest to get here!" Kirito's voice is muffled under your body, but very, very much irritated. >Get up>Sit on him as punishment for future crimes.
>>571132>Get up>Accept the quest before he does
>>571132Do this too.>>571152
>>571152Yes race him to the quest
>>571161GOTTA GO FAST
>>571132You get up, and say hello to the NPC"Hello sirs, would you like a cup of water? I'm afraid I don't have much to offer for drink besides that"Behind her, you can see a tea kettle boiling, which tips you off that something's wrong."Oh wow, another stupid NPC, man sometimes these things are the pinnacle of immersion and you can't tell the fucking difference between one and a real human, and sometimes they're god damn ROBOTS" Kirito says, getting up "Yes, I'd like a cup of water"She doesn't even pay attention to anything other than "water", or at least that's what it looks like, she prepares three cups and invites you both to sit at her table."So, mister wolf-man, care to tell me why you shoved us through the door like I shoved my dick into your mom last night?">Bring the bants (Write In)>Act rationally
>>571174>>Bring the bants (Write In)I fucked your cousin mate
>Bring the bantz>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>571202nothing like the classics
>>571174I'll vote this >>571202
>>571174Oh HELL no, he did not just say that.It's time to bring out the classic, the one, the only, the Navy Seal Copypasta!">What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."He stares at you, stunned, and you hear a slow clap behind you, turning around, you find Incog standing in the open doorway, wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you've ever seen on her."You memorized that whole fucking speech?"This is apparently enough to snap Kirito out of it."Wait, that wasn't on the fly? Wow, and here I thought the wolf-man had some originality. Verbal abuse man, it's a lost art."He then turns back to the silent NPC as a child starts crying in another room."Ma'am, does your dumb robotic ass need some help?""Y-yes, actually, I do" it starts, seeming to come alive again for a moment "I don't want to burden you with my troubles, but if you would be willing to listen to my problems I could really use the aid, you three look like fine young people, perhaps you are capable of what I am not""Uh-huh" you say, "sure, we'll help, but we'll need something in return"Kirito sighs as the NPC goes on a long spiel about her sick daughter, a cure only found in the forest that would require killing a lot of monsters to obtain, basic early fetch quest shit, but she mentioned the reward would be an heirloom sword, passed down her family for generations. "Okay miss robot, ya got a deal, my flower for your sword"You also accept the questAnd so the hunt begins.>Tail Kirito>Go a different direction
>>571292>>Tail KiritoAlso, make a party. Don't forget to make the party.
>>571292>>Tail KiritoAgreeing that we should party up
>>571292>>Tail Kiritoeh we could use a meat shield
>>571292You quickly get up, just a second after Kirito, and leave the house, Incog following at your left. As you walk, you take the time to form an actual party, so you share all non-rare loot 50-50, same with EXP. Rare loot goes to whoever killed the mob that dropped it. You tail Kirito, knowing he already knew exactly where the monsters you were looking for would spawn. He doesn't seem to give a fuck, not even turning as he sprinted into the forest, you hot on his trail.Soon, the three of you reach a large clearing, and THESE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE EVERYWHEREpic relatedKirito begins slaughtering part of the horde, looking for one that has a flower on top of it's head. So far, you're not seeing any, but in the crowd there is exactly one monster with a fruit on top of it's head.>Slaughter Indiscriminately>Kill the one with a fruit
>>571366>Kill the one with a fruitTell Incog to watch for the one with the fruit
>>571366>Kill the one with a fruit
>>571377>>571366time to cuck kirito, we gonna get that fruit
>>571366>>Kill the one with a fruityoink
Rolled 26 (1d30)Switching to phone after this update, expect some delay>>571366You put your fist through the face of the one with the fruit on it's head, and the fruit explodes, sending a sickly sweet scent through the air!Oh no.It was a trap
>>571402>we got cucked instead
>>571402A swarm has appeared! "NICE GOING DUMBASS, I THOUGHT YOU HAD SOME SENSE OF COMPETENCE BUT APPARENTLY YA DIDNT EVEN FUCKING LISTEN TO THE NPC!" Kirito shouts at you "WE HAVE EXACTLY ONE OPTION HERE: FIGHT!"You are confused as to exactly how you were supposed to know it was a trap, but the horde is closing in!"So, what you're saying is we should stab these guys? A lot?""YES, CAT-GIRL, THAT IS WHAT I AM SAYING""Alright! Stabby time!"This girl gets creepier by the hour. Fucking combat addict.Roll 2d20, best of three
Rolled 1, 12 = 13 (2d20)>>571441Here's hoping!
Rolled 3, 8 = 11 (2d20)>>571441you don't have to be so mean kirito
Rolled 4, 3 = 7 (2d20)>>571441suck my dick bitch more mobs means more xp
man what happend? we were pretty good when we started?
>>571441>get yelled at for not listening to NPC>Given fuck all info from QM on what NPC said>fun quest, yayHow are we not supposed to make stupid ass decisions when we got no information to make better ones?
Rolled 18, 2, 16, 9, 15, 9, 10, 19 = 98 (8d20)clearing the dice for if we live
Rolled 6, 18 = 24 (2d20)>>571461Have faith, I so won't fuck up the save roll!
>>571474The book details what happens when you attack the fruit-bearing Nepents.We're supposed to be abusing meta knowledge, I think this is entirely fair.
>>571543but anon, the character didn´t read the book.He just watched the anime.He has /NO/ fucking way of knowing this if the npc doesn´t tell him because this quest didn´t appear in the anime.
>>571474You were told you were looking for a flower, you went for a fruit.>>571448You are quickly engulfed in the sea of bodies, unable to even throw a punch.>HP: 250/525Incog fares decently enough, managing to stay upright and get some hits in.>Incognegro's HP: 350/525But Kirito is the reason the three of you are still alive, he's whirling like a man possessed, cutting and slashing everything like the speshul Gary Stu he is.When the bodies have cleared, there are plenty left, and no sign of the flower you're looking for."God damn you people, did you not listen to a god damn word that lady said?""Did YOU?" You retort "she didn't say jack shit about the fruit being a fucking TRAP!""...Wait, really?""Yeah, she just mentioned the flower" Incog steps up to defend you, casually wiping ichor from her knife."...god damn it, this is what I get for being a beta tester, guess Kayaba thought it would be a pretty shitty trap if you were told about it"...Fuck everything.>Keep killing plants>Fuck this shit you're out
>>571555>Keep killing plants>Told to look for a flower>Went for fruitI want to be mad, but you're right by all accounts.
>>571555>>Keep killing plants>>571555Just to nitpick the Flower/fruit comment: our options were to "kill everything" and "kill [specific thing]." I assumed [specific thing] was quest related given the information provided. I hate this, but I really do like this quest and want to stop getting shit on for bad decisions when we lack the info. Also, will we ever been any better than what the dice allow? can we get gear at some point that gives bonuses?
>>571555>keep killingdamn you and your trips of truth
>>571555>>Keep killing plantsno pain no gain
>>571563That seems fair, honestly it was my fault for giving you a trap option you wouldn't know about and then 4chan ate the "ask Kirito about the fruit" option and you people had decided before I could add it in a second post
>>571563He's a nuQM pumping out a bunch of content with little pause. Give him a little break, ehn?
>>571577I don't mean to be antagonistic, like I said I really like this quest. The whole concept really, a metagaming protag in a deathgame setup is awesome, especially given how disappointing a lot of the related material is, like SAO and The Gamer (Korean webserial). I was double tickled by the Abridged twist since that seems better than the original
>>571555'okay, we're pissed, right?''yes that was FUCKING BULLSHIT''so we should leave right?''FUCK NO, KILL THEM ALL!''...okay'And so you begin your slaughter, furry friend at your side!Roll 2d20 and pray to the dice gods for mercy
Rolled 2, 16 = 18 (2d20)>>571608I feel like you put almost zero effort into this quest OP
Rolled 11, 7 = 18 (2d20)>>571608
Rolled 19, 11 = 30 (2d20)>>571608finally caught up, let's roll big!
Rolled 12, 15 = 27 (2d20)>>571608
>>571620I hope that counts.
>>571623Third roll. Means 19 for us and 16 for Incog
>>571623Pretty sure it does, best of 3 desu
And then mobile ate my post.>>571615You punch through over 50 plantfucks over the course of an hour, and somehow get a flower before Kirito!"Fuck yeah, got it, come on Incog, we have a quest to turn in!""Wait, let me get the battle report!"You let her paw through the menu, and find the two of you have earned 2000 EXP, split between you, so you each have another 1000, nice. No items other than the flower, which you don't really mind, you have enough trash loot as is.The two of you make a mad dash for the NPC, turning in the flower and getting...OneSingleAnneal Blade +0.Fuck.You take it first, curious why it had the +0 at the end.Apparently items can be upgraded, and this item has 8 upgrade attempts, so it might, if you're lucky, get all 8 slots filled with different upgrades!Your helmet has 4, but you notice it has two unique upgrades, lifesteal and "skill boost (howl)"Huh. Neat.You still have to decide who gets the sword though.>Keep it>Give it to Incog
>>571706>Give it to Incogand >Party up
>>571706>Give it to Incog
>>571726agree with the first part, we already partied up
>>571706>>Give it to IncogFind a trainer for crafting skills!!! Cooking and Leatherworking if possible at least>>571726already partied, dude.
>>571706>Give it to the woman.
>>571706>Give it to IncogWe only need fists.
home soon, will put more effort into posts then
Thank god I'm home>>571706You hand the sword to Incog, and she giggles like a small child on christmas morning."Thanks Wolf-Man!" she says, wearing a grin wide enough to make Cheshire Cat's look normal."You're welcome Cat-Girl" you snark back, making her frown and her face turn red."You choose to wear the mask, I was stuck with my ears!""Nobody cared who I was until I put on the mask" you sigh"aw, tough nuts, big guy""for you"and then you both devolved into a fit of laughter like a couple of idiots."Seriously though, thank you," Incog says after recovering her breath "I kinda figured I was getting it but when you took it first I wasn't so sure""Nah, it's nothing, I was just checking it out since it has that weird +0 next to it, turns out a lot of items can be upgraded.""Oh? and how does that work?""Don't really know, but I'm guessing you have to be a blacksmith to do it, or a leatherworker or whatever""Makes sense, so... what do we do now?"Find more quests to doFind someone to teach you craft skills
>>571801>Find someone to teach you craft skills
>>571801Find more quests to do
>>571801>Fill quest backlog so other players won't snatch them up>Find someone to teach skills
>>571801>git gud at crafting
>>571801>Find someone to teach you craft skillsWhile filling quest backlog if we happen to pass someone
>>571801"Well, we need to learn crafting skills if we want to have good gear so we don't fucking DIE during our quests and raids and shit, aye?"She nods "yeah, I'm stuck with this One Handed blade skill and Aerial attack"Huh, she had a different secondary skill than you?"Not Howl?""Nope, don't have Howl, Aerial attack, it says""Wonder if that's random or if it's based on something, I'll have to look into that later, but whatever, come on, let's get moving, I want at least ONE of us to learn how to cook before sundown"She giggles "So what you're saying is you want me to get in the kitchen and make you a sandwich""...you're not my wife, not that I have one in the first place"She stifles a full blown laugh as you follow the smoke down to chimneys and eventually find a Blacksmith. "Aye lad, I could teach ya a thing or two, don't have the time to take on a full apprentice, but I could show ya enough to learn on yer own from there!"Replace <One Handed Blades> with <Blacksmithing>Replace <Howl> with <Blacksmithing>Don't Learn Blacksmithingnote, you still have the skill, but it will reset it's level if taken out of an active slot
>>571871>Replace one handed bladeObvious choice
>>571871>Replace <One Handed Blades> with <Blacksmithing>Who needs blades
>>571871we dont really need blacksmithing if we want to go unarmed and wear light armor to stay with the wolf motif
>>571871for those of you who are lazy and don't want to scroll up to the last time I posted this:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rvaJI2WOaTBoySdKHP1uhrjp-JLLotXjFxjTvKXiOL4/edit?usp=sharingthis is the current skill page for Sauska.
>>571871>Replace <One Handed Blades> with <Blacksmithing>I keep forgetting how awful SAO's game mechanics are
>>571871>Don't learn blacksmithing>>571885Anon has a point
Yeah honestly changing >>571884 to >>571885How do skills work OP? we need to know which ones with which to produce badass fist weapons, maybe a bit more exposition would be helpful? Not all of us know SAO mechanics
>>571871>Replace <One Handed Blades> with <Blacksmithing>
>>571871>Don't Learn BlacksmithingFind Letherworking or alchemy/cooking
>>571871Replace <One Handed Blades> with <Blacksmithing>we can still keep the whole wolf thing and wear armor
>>571913but do we really want to be slow AND have no weapon?
>>571901the more you use a skill the more it levels up, the more it levels up the easier it is to use the skill, basically any MMO skill system ever works like this. SAO adds a mechanic where if you don't have a skill in your active slots (the number of these you have increases slowly with leveling, you'll get a 3rd one soon though) they reset their levels, currently you have two slots to use, being taken up by One Handed Blades and Howl.Which means if you aren't using a skill (say, oh I don't know, SWORDS) you should probably get it out of your very precious active slots, because they are precious, in the canon series, Kirito, the highest level character in the game, had 12 slots.
Maybe we can get some of that low durability high speed metal Lisbeth used to make that garbage sword
>>571931Actually, fuck it, we can have an unlimited amount of inactive skilles, yeah? Get blackmithy just because
>>571931so, are slots tied to levels?
>>571931>HowlAlso, what does Howl actually do?
>>571946>>571931>the number of these you have increases slowly with leveling, you'll get a 3rd one soon>>571950We should join forces and vote for it next combat
>>571931Cool. I was wondering more about the skills themselves though, like does blacksmithing encompass both weapons and armor, or is there an armorsmithing skill that upgrades armor? and what about light armor, is there a different skill for that, like say leatherworking?
>>571958I'm game/ Probably a stat buff, unless there is some truly divine OP-ness to it that it summons 1-2 clone(s) of us to fight for a short time
>>571960As far as I;m aware, there's not any one category for like swords and shit. Like, there's not any one crafting skill, instead it takes up several slots for being able to make Heavy Metallic Armors, Light Metallic Armors, and then being able to repair them and such.
>>571950You'll find out if I ever fucking remember to give you the option to use it>>571871You carefully consider learning, and then realize you're never gonna fucking use swords, and replace the <One Handed Blade> Skill with <Blacksmithing>, spending about two hours with the older NPC as he teaches you how to hit metal and heat it up without killing yourself. He says you can borrow his tools any time you like, but if you want your own set you'll have to either make them yourself or buy them, and he'll make you pay for metal you use. That taken care of, you discover Incog has taken the time to find the local innkeeper, rent you two a decent room, AND replaced her Aerial Attack with Cooking."Wow, I didn't think you'd actually do it""It wasn't hard, I honestly don't think we need the skill, I already know how to cook in real life.""You don't understand how MMO skills work, do you?""Not really, like I said, new to this thing""Well, if you didn't have the skill, no matter what you did 90% of your meals, even the most basic ones, would probably turn out crap""But why?""Because video games""But that's so stupid!""It also means someone who has no talent in the real world can just max the skill out through grinding and make five star meals without even trying""that's even more stupid!""Welcome to MMOs, enjoy your stay"She silently fumes at the stupidity of game mechanics as she leads you back to the local inn, where you find Kirito has also taken up room and board, and is currently eating some sort of stew."Huh, and here I thought you were a powergamer" You tease him"I am, getting a good meal and a good night's sleep gives you an EXP gain bonus, dumbass, roughing it doesn't do shit"Ya learn something new every day."They seriously stole the rested EXP mechanic from World of Warcraft?""Yep, and hey, just means all those fuckers who pull all-nighters when there's a town right next to them are stupid, and I get to make fun of them""and if there's no town nearby?""The game makes you feel tired and hungry, and if you don't even TRY to eat or sleep you start getting penalized for it""Wow, that's a shitty mechanic""Well in the beta you got sleep by logging out, so it helped keep us from killing ourselves through sleep deprivation, NOW though it's just Kayaba's way of making sure we suffer as long as possible"You take a glance out the window as you talk, realizing it's not even dusk yet, maybe 16:00 hours at the most. Incog ran off while you were talking, apparently grabbing you two some food.>Sit with him and continue the conversation>get your own table>Get some rest
>>572032>>get your own tableI say we got enough of each other to leave an impression now to fuck off and not see each other for a month
>>572032>get your own table>>572050my man
>>572032>get your own table
>>572032>>get your own table
Hey guys is it just me or are we still wearing nothing but a loin cloth?
>>572032>get your own table>replaced her Aerial Attack with Cooking.Thank you
>>572073yeah we are we never got new equipment
>>572032>get your own table>before you leave, ask about the howl skill>before you leave, ask about combat regeneration skill>>572073and that is a problem why?
>>572085Cause banana hammockAnd not to be lewd but wouldn't incogs durability start to be low too?
>>572101Incog hasn't rolled several critical failures, and thus has avoided taking the vast majority of the damage.>>572032"Well, fuck Kayaba" you say "anyways, I'm gonna grab my own table, see you around, I guess""You too, wolf-man, you too" Kirito says, diving back into his bowl with gusto.Poor bastard, losing his tastebuds is going to be harsh on him.You grab a booth near the window, seating yourself opposite the door so you can see if any other players show up. Incog come back with two bowls of stew"Clam chowder!" she says, clearly salivating internally."You uh, like fish, I take it?""Well duh, why do you think I picked cat ears for the party last... nigh... my god it's been over a full day since I've been in here, what's happening to my real body?""Well, they're probably figuring out what to do about that right now, from what I hear the NerveGear has an internal battery pack, so they can probably just hook us up to some Wi-Fi while they move us to hospitals or something and then plug us back in""Huh, that would make sense, so we're probably all just lying in bed right now, right?""Yeah, I guess so, most of us anyways, since some of us are..." you let the sentence drop off, you didn't want to bring up dead people while you were eating.Speaking of which, you were having a little trouble.You cursed as you spilled a spoonfull of piping-hot chowder onto your chest, the mask having knocked it aside before it got to your mouth.You had almost forgotten you were wearing it, it felt like a part of you now.>Take it off>try to eat with it on.
>>572112>try to eat with it on.
>>572112Let's not be a sperg>Take it off
>>572112>>Take it off
>>572112>Take it off
>>572112>>try to eat with it on.Wolf man never takes off his wolf mask
>>572112Eat with it on
>>572112>>try to eat with it on.
Rolled 2 (1d2)Tiebreaker go
>>572112Take it off.
>>572112take it off you fucking spergbut I like wearing it!Take it off, you're making us look like a dumbass!Wolf-man never takes off his wolf-mask!Take it off.No one cared who I was until I put on the mask!SlapNo, don't you even TRY to banepost your way out of this one. Take. It. Off.No, I don't wanna!SLAPDO ITFiiiineAfter THAT internal debate, you reach your hands up and take off the mask, setting it on the table next to your bowl, and eat like a normal human being. Incog gasps "Your face! oh god I understand why you wear the mask now!"You raise an eyebrow, and she hands you a mirror.Ohoh nowhat the FUCK Kayaba, you had a perfectly average face and now you look like THIS?!FUCKANIMEYou look like a god damn eight year old!You eat very, very quickly, and then shove the mask back on your head."That isn't my real face, I don't know what the fuck happened, but I swear to you my real face is not that of a god damn pre-pubescent child"She chortles "Sure it isn't, puppy!"SEE WHAT YOU DID!? WE SHOULD HAVE LEFT THE FUCKING MASK ON!SHUT UP WE CAN STILL SALVAGE THIS, WE JUST HAVE TO EAT IN PRIVATE FROM NOW ON!THAT DOESN'T FIX THE PROBLEM!You shook your head, and sighed, looking out the window, it was dusk.Go to sleepDo something else (Write In)
>>572220>Go to sleep>Try not to cry>CryLook what happens when you fags don't respect the mask
>>572220>Get some actual clothesAlso, we shota-faced now
>>572220>Do something else (Write In)curse Kayabas' name for giving you the face of an attractive young boy
>>572220>Get/make armor>"Kayaba you faggot"Also, that should be our battle cry
>>572220Go to sleep
>>572240yes, allah disapproves of our state of dress. we need a tuxedo and the mask. after this is done, we use our wolfish charm to literally cuck kirito
>friendlist incog>have her go to bed>go try to blacksmith some armor out of the pelts and some metal we can buy
>>572229Only appropriate response.
>>572220>Go to sleep with mask on
Also what's the durability of the mask like right now and can we improve it so we don't lose our true face
>>572270You check your inventory, specifically the durability of your items:https://docs.google.com/document/d/17HaIOmLtT6mKhBf71pHVtX7pJ2RFquATuXMkigMd7KU/edit?usp=sharing
>>572281We should give our flanks to Cog and let her cook them
>>572281Noo our gauntlets!OK sleep and tomorrow if we get a chance smith out some gloves
>>572220We should just go to sleep and hope she forgets by morningFuck that, what kind of pussy are we? what we should REALLY do is go make some fucking armor for ourselvesYeah but it might take a while to make that if our skills are shit, and they are, and we're pretty sure that leveling skills gets the same Rested boost as normal EXP, so we should go to sleep, and do it in the morningPoint, alright, let's go to sleepYou might have an internal dialogue problem.Nah you're sure it's nothing. "Well, I'm going to bed" you say, pushing yourself out of the booth."Oh, uh, I hadn't actually checked the rooms, also here's your key, we might be here a while right?""Yeah probably gonna be here at least another night, I want to get my blacksmithing leveled and I'd rather not deal with the long ass trip back to the Town of Beginnings, so it's here or bust, and this place has a nice place to level grind when I'm not being a complete idiot"She nods, and tosses you a key "room key, I've got my own copy" "Alright, night then"You march up the stairs and match the number on the room key to a door, and open it up.One bed.You really, REALLY should have seen this coming.>Sleep on the bed>Sleep on the floor>Wait for Incog to show up
>>572323>>Sleep on the bedAre we not a wolf? We should be the alpha
>>572323>Wait for Incog to show up
>>572323>Sleep on the bed
>>572323>Sleep on the bedHehehe
>>572323>Wait for Incog to show upDon't want the inevitable dog comments if we are on the ground.Don't want the drama if we just take the bed
>>572323>Sleep on the bedAlways big enough for two.
>>572323we are a canid, we should sleep at the foot of the bed and let her have the rest of it
>Wait for Incog to show up
>>572323>>Sleep on the bed
>>572349I'm good with this
>>572323Fuck it, bed it isYou flop onto the straw mattress, and let sleep overtake you.>End of Day 2Please hold while the faggot prepares a long post
>>572362uh oh, shit must be hitting the fan
>>572368i bet hes just bad at writing morning after smut
anyone have any thoughts on getting asuna hereabouts?
>>572362You wake up covered in something warm and smooth, most certainly not a blanket, pening your eyes, you discover just what that is.OH SHITWHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHTWE WENT TO FUCKING SLEEP, THAT'S IT, THERE WAS NO SEXUAL, NONE!THEN HOW THE FUCK IS A HALF NAKED CAT GIRL IN OUR BED!?HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW!?WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO!?I DON'T KNOW WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE GOT LAIDWE DIDN'TFUCKFUCKOkay, just calm down, we need to think this through like rational peopleTHIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE RATIONALBefore you can sort your head out, the girl stirs on top of you, her breasts sliding over your chest as she pulls herself up.Inside Incog's HeadWHAT THE FUCKWHY DON'T WE HAVE A SHIRT ON, WHY DON'T WE HAVE A BRA ON?!I DON'T KNOW!Okay, we have nothing covering our top, but he's asleep, he doesn't know, all we have to do i- please tell me that's just part of his wolf-skirt-thingI have some bad news"EEEEEEEEEP!" She screams right on top of you, making you launch out of bed and throwing her onto the floor as well."What the fuck?!""You tell me what the fuck!""Why aren't you wearing a shirt?""Why aren't you?""My clothes fucking died, where the hell is your shirt?""I don't know!""Check your inventory!"She scrolls through it and thankfully manages to find one to throw on."Okay, now that we aren't panicking like a couple of retards, mind telling me just what happened after I fell asleep?""Are you sure you were asleep?""Entirely, because the next thing I knew you were screaming in my fucking ear and I was up for the day""In more ways than one" she mutters under her breath"What was that?"Oh shit did we have a boner?Fuck I think we didWELP"Uhh"Do we tell him?HELL NOwhy not?do you want to make this even MORE awkward than it already is?not reallythan don't tell him!"N-Nothing! Nothing at all""Rrright, okay, so, we're just gonna pretend this didn't happen, okay? okay."She nods, and the two of you descend the staircase, where you can smell breakfast cookingEat BreakfastGo QuestingPractice Blacksmithing
>>572426>formattinggod damn you /qst/obviously shit in quotes is normal talking and not thinking.
>>572426>Practice BlacksmithingNOTHING ABNORMAL HAPPENED!NOTHING AT ALL!I AM A STANDARD HUMAN BEAN, ALL IS WELL!PLANS TO CARRY OUT, YOU KNOW
>>572426>My clothes fucking diedMY SIDES>Eat Breakfast>Go QuestingNot comfortable enough with out Cor total to blow it all on bronze or whatever lame tier1 metal
>>572426eat quickly for the xp boost, then go straight for the quests
>>572445our* Cor total
>>572426>Practice BlacksmithingRIP clothing.
>>572426You grab a plate of pancakes and lift your mask up, resting it on your nose rather than taking it off entirely. Sure you had no chin and it was pretty obvious your face was either young or feminine but it was better than getting the full picture. Oh sweet beautiful butter pancakes you are delicious and will be devoured.You scarf down the meal like an animal, wiping your mouth on your spare pelt, and then leave and begin your hunt for questspart 1/2, just so you know I'm still here while I take care of something
>>572426God bless you, OP.
>People actually liked my attempts at comedythank you>>572485The light is a pox on your already mostly-crushed soul, especially when it shafts itself DIRECTLY INTO THE EYEHOLES IN YOUR MASK.You cover it with one hand and sigh, getting ready for a long day of boring fetch quests only made interesting by the constant threat of near death.And then you turn around, because what fucking MMO doesn't have an innkeeper with a rat problem somewhere in it's lower levels. Heading back inside, you find that yes, the inkeeper has a rat problem, no, they are not actually rats, yes, they are fucking slimes.You step down into the liqueur cellar and begin to see why the inkeeper didn't just stab these things himself.This thing is twice as tall as you, it has EYES, and it is already moving towards you.It doesn't help that despite not even fucking being here, Incog is going to steal some EXP from this.You can only hope that she's running quests as well, so you can do the same. Attack NormallyHowl
>>572592>HowlLet's see what it does.
>that interaction between spoiler and color tagsah /qst/ you never fail to fuck up something I try with formatting>>572592You have a Howl skill right? You think you know how to activate it...You begin to actually make the noise.Roll 1d20
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>572633
>>572650dammit, sorry. my first time on quest. still learning shit
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>572633
>>572658No worries, type that in the "options" section
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>572633Lets try this again>>572669Thanks
Let's see how this goes
Rolled 5 (1d8)>>572686https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNR877AHJAcYour normally human voice changes into a full blown wolf Howl, and honestly, if you weren't the one making the noise you would have goosebumps. The slime quivers, shakes, and then falls apart into a much more manageable group of slimes, half as tall as you are.Some of them literally dissolve into the ground, you're not sure if they died or just ran away, but that was awesome.The remaining ones though...
>>572720Five remain, alright, you can use your fists from hereSlime 1Slime 2Slime 3Slime 4Slime 5Pick a target!
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>572728That was an unexpectedly cool fear effect>slime 5
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>572728Slime 5
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>572728Slime 5Fuck that guy in particular
>>572739>>572745>>572753when I don't ask for a roll don't roll, we're just picking a target right nowI don't want you to waste your 19s and 20s like the last few times>>572728You jump for one in the back, to let you get into the fight like a real man: a headlong charge!Roll 1d20 for damage!
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>572764
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>572764Sorry about that
>>572775Fuck this slime in particular. You smash your fist into it and, rather than absorbing your blow as expected, it shatters into dust.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atxYe-nOa9wDamnit Kayaba.>Slime 5 EliminatedPick a new target!
>>572794Slime 3I HATE odd numbers!
>>572794>kill slime 1HIS A JEW, STOLE MY SLIME WIFE.
>>572794You jump back to the front of the herd, and realize there's a small ticker in the corner of your vision, right under your health bar. It's a picture of a wolf howling, with a small timer under it ticking down.It just endedAttack NormallyHowl
>>572820yes I've actually got a timer IRL, you'll find out how long the cooldown is once you use it again
>>572820Let's use Howl again.
>>572820>HowlTREMBLE IN FEAR!
>>572820Attack normally. We need to kill these things for exp, not let them run away.
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>572820"AWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" You howl, making more slimes vanish.Fuck this skill is amazing for getting rid of trash mobs.
>>572863One Slime remains, you check the cooldown now that it's fresh.2:59Nice, only a 3 minute cooldown, now you just need to take care of this last slime.Roll 1d20, best of 3!!
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>572876
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>572876
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>572876
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>572876
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>572876
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>572876REEEE
>>572882Boom, fist punch.You step back from the obliterated slime and check the battle card.COMBAT ENDEDLoot Obtained:>Slimeball>100 EXPWow that's shit, definitely DON'T use Howl when you're grinding for EXP, fortunately you're gonna get plenty of EXP from completing the quest, so you don't mind so much. You return from the Cellar to find a certain pair of people snickering together.Specifically, Kirito and Incog.ApproachIgnore and turn in the quest
>>572912>Ignore and turn in the quest