Ishmael Wrote in last thread:
Stepping onto the steel grate signifying the absolute bottom of the floor, you stretch out your limbs and heft your weapons. You look around you and find shadows and discarded crates among the abandoned bulkheads and rooms, conceding that Gendo has superior knowledge of the terrain here. Instead of rushing ahead into an ambush, you decide to lure him out like the fishy cunt he is, and knowing him, you know exactly what buttons to press.

Walking slowly to the center of the level, noting the various steel grates and lack of lighting and lack of noise, you conclude that this is the most likely ambush spot. Taking out your phone, you jack up the volume and use it to broadcast your challenge to the slimy faggot.

“I wonder, how good was your wife in bed that made you miss her so much when she died, huh? I mean, you must have lost out on some real top-quality pussy to make you burn out into such a fruitcake cuck. Especially since you made a human sock-puppet to keep the memories of that booty around, but that doesn’t make you a real man. A real man would have picked up another mate, you know, establish his dominance by taking another piece of ass. But you, you cucked out my friend, you couldn’t get another one, and you couldn’t even properly raise your son. You know what that makes you, Gendo?”

You slowly smile as your ears pick up the sound of movement in the gaggle of empty crates and shadows in the corner of your eye, the bait must be working especially well to have drawn him out so quickly and so you continue with vigor, slowly increasing the grip on your weapons as you do so.

“It makes you a beta male, a weakling, a follower, somebody not qualified to make decisions. Lucky for you, I’m around, and I’ll give you one last chance to join my pack if you come out on your knees and beg me to take you back.”

Another scattering of footsteps, the sound of something metal impacting against wood, and this time you can hear the heavy draughts of breath signifying somebody suppressing a hefty outburst of anger.

“Though I suppose I should thank you, you know, Gendo. With Rei, I suppose I can try that top-tier pussy out for myself, and she’ll be down for any and everything, again thanks to you.”

With that, you finally hear two loud footsteps that tip you off to the location of a berserk Gendo armed with a standard service pistol and a strange cylindrical device in his opposite hand. Leaping up with a roar, he raises his pistol to fire at you, but you’d anticipated his charge and with one smooth motion, you slap down the gun out of his hand with flat of the longsword.
(1/2)

Ishmael's Responce Continued:

Gendo presses a button on the cylinder, and from the top of the device blazes an unnatural blue light, and you notice heat emitting from it, signifying that the beam of light isn’t just for show. To emphasize the point, he swings the lightsaber, because that’s you assume what it is, and it cleaves through your sword like a guillotine through a neck.

Dropping the ruined blade, you assume a dueling position and raise the Violator to meet his lightsaber mid-swing, and something amazing happens.

The mighty length of purple meets the straight edge of blue colored plasma and immediately stops it, leaving the two of you struggling for control in a contest of strength. Realizing he won’t win against your superior strength, Gendo disengages, and stares at you hatefully before flicking the saber around in a stance you don’t recognize.

“You can’t win you know,” he spits at you venomously, “Everything is already in motion.”

“Yeah I know,” you reply as the two of you rush in to kill each other, “I’ve got three babes lined up for tonight thanks to you reminding me about Rei.”

>Duel of the Fates

>Wrestlemania

>Rocky

(2/2)

>>555807
>Duel of the Fates

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>>555807
>Rocky
Since when was this on the table?! Break lightsaber and the Violator in the ensuing clash then go full Montage on Gendo's gay ass. You got a three-way of legendary magnitudes waiting for you. Throw a manly Dempsey Roll into this bitch.
https://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=QloKo2tdUUY

Any Other Votes before Ishmael would respond?

Rocky all the way.

>>556435
Rocky

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Have an update from Ishmael; he'll be back for the final showdown Monday! Because I lack the creativity for anything besides a short update, have a maid!

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>>556498
Well a maid is fine, too.

Have a haremhorn.

>>556498
>he'll be back for the final showdown Monday!
Tomorrow?

>>557169
Alright then. Vote the choices as you please before tomorrow comes, KK?

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>>557189
>>557169
He already started the reply for the Rocky vote. He will post when he can tomorrow, I guess. He just told me Monday.

>>557237
Alright then, meido. Let's see how it happens next tomorrow.

Good morning people! Ishmael will come on with his response in just a moment. In the meantime, how do you feel today?

>>561278
We will see when he comes.

Remember. Badgers are evil, GM

>>561417
>Remember. Badgers are evil, GM
Alright then, lol.

Is Ishmael up yet?

Hello? Is Ishmael here? I'm starting to worry if he comes back on to respond

>>562643
Badgers. Are. Evil.

Also, you made this thread, not him. He will make one on his own if he wants. Patience.

>>562643
I mean "If he ever comes back to respond"

Is Anyone worried about Ishmael or what?

>>562653
Alright, I'll wait then, anon.

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>Rocky. You guys chose well.

Welcome back to the final episode of Crashing End of Evangelion, I’m your host Call Me Ishmael, and we’re live under NERV headquarters with the fight of the decade. A once in a lifetime match, brains versus brawn, father versus son, we’ve got it all! In the red corner…weighing in at “Enough to bench your whole family, you hipster reporter faggot.”…hailing from Tokyo-03…with a flawless record of 0-0 in his division… the undisputed Alpha male of the WOOOOOORLD...

SHINJI

“CHAD.”

IKARI

And his opponent in the blue corner….weighing in at “However much that four-eyed faggot has left after his self-imposed fast because he’s a gigantic faggot cuck piece of shi-.”…also hailing from Tokyo-03…and also with a flawless record of 0-0 in his division….the apparent father of Shinji Ikari…

GENDO

“GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT”

IKARI

Annnnnnd I’m fucking done. I’m not going to word out the rest of this boxing/MMA intro shit, so let’s fucking cut back to where we were. Okay fine, after this.

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

--

Lightsaber against Dildo, the distinct flashes of blue and royal purple both flicker and radiate through the air as the two weapons collide against each other with meteoric strength over and over.

Strike against counter-strike, ducking, and parrying, you and Gendo duel it out over the fate of humanity in the dark shadows of NERV headquarters. But although titanic efforts are at play here, it becomes clear that the two of you are perfectly matched in skill and that the outcome of the duel will be decided by the most minute of variables. Variables that you aren’t going to trust judging by how badly you sucked at them in school.

Slashing desperately, you bait Gendo in for the umpteenth time but making it convincing enough for him to finally be caught in your trap. As he parries and prepares to finish you with a counterblow, you jump into his guard and rocket your cranium into his nose, crushing it and splattering crimson fluids violently.

The sudden move overloads him with pain, and he involuntarily drops his lightsaber where you predict it would, catching it with your free hand. As he regards you with unabashed horror, eyes focused on the twin tools of death you possess; you give him a look of contempt.

“Think you can go the distance with me?” You spit at him before throwing both the lightsaber and the Violator backwards into the mess of crates behind you.

Putting up your hands, you take a stance favoring your right foot and stretch out your arms and legs while Gendo wipes the blood from his face with a torn sleeve.

He pulls out some Kung-Fu mumbo-jumbo shit from Kung-Fu Panda or some shit, like shit nigga who actually does that shit.

The two of you close in the middle of the floor, eager to settle this by hand and not by the impassive force of overly lethal weapons.

(Roll 1d100)

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>563497

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>>563509
He comes at you like lightning, spinning and weaving around you, raining blows on your arms, chest, face, legs with his kung-fu bullshit. Flowery movements combined with direct directional swings batter you from one corner of the room to another, punches and kicks slamming into you faster than you can register.

With one final punch, kick, elbow combo, he finishes the set off with a shattering palm blow to your stomach before dashing backwards with a satisfied grin.

Staggering backwards, you lean over to the side of your head and spit out a thick goblet of blood and then rub your chin.

"That all you got old man?" You smile as you suddenly pull out boxing tape and fix your hands up, wrapping them with discipline as Gendo watches you in fixed horror at your complete resilience to his attacks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsF1pzO8p9M

Walking into his range, you begin to unleash your fury on the frail, sickly Gendo with a relentless barrage of opening jabs into your blisteringly fast cross or hook when you can.

Despite his speed, his counterblows do almost nothing due to your iron chin, and you wade through strike after strike to dispense knuckled retribution, rocking his head back with every blow or bruising flesh and weakening his ribs.

He pulls back and tries to land a round house kick, you just duck it and lunge forward with a titanic right hook, watching his head snap in the wake of your fist like a ragdoll.

Nearly collapsing backwards, he stands there, stunned, awaiting the next blow to take him out.

>Uppercut

>Low-blow

>Rolling Thunder

>Write-In

>>563850
Roooooolling thundaaaaaaaa
Also we might be off schedule!

>>563850
>Rolling Thunder

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>>564153
>>564171
Seizing on the opportunity, you weave forwards and move left, then right, pushing your muscles to the limit and folding into a duck as you speed through. Increasing the momentum as you continually advance on the stunned Gendo, as you reach maximum speed, you duck low to your right and wind up a hook. Leading with your fist, you throw yourself into the movement, slamming Gendo's near lifeless body back and splattering more blood and a tooth from his face.

As you reach the other side of him, boosted by the impetus of your swing, you reverse with your legs and steel yourself into a duck again. With force, you flash forwards with a left hook and collapse Gendo again with a furious explosion of FIST, before wholly you throw yourself into the routine.

Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left.

Barraging him with your onslaught, you feel his bones break under your fists, you smash his glasses and spread the glass shards into his cheeks, you pummel flesh until it can't be bruised any further.

You destroy the man in front of you, until there is no man left.

Realizing your energy is finally running low, you cease the Dempsey Roll and surge forwards, focusing all your energy into your battered right fist.

Sending the end approaching, you unleash death in the form of your uppercut.

"Rolling..." You twist your fist and aiming it with lethal precision.

"Thunder!"

The blow flies upwards, directly onto Gendo's chin, snapping his head back with such force that you see several more teeth fly out of his mouth accompanied by an onrushing tide of blood. The strike lifts him upwards, sending him flying backwards and leaving his crumpled corpse on the metal floor, the grates draining his blood into the recesses below.

"Fucking..." You mutter as you walk up to your mulched father.

"Wrecked."

As you turn to leave, you hear a clicking sound from behind you. Adrenaline surges through your veins once more, and you eye a distinct flashing red on Gendo's front pocket. Searching it, you find a detonator.

A dead-man's-switch.

You hear a deafening explosion in the abyss under you, and you understand what Gendo's contingency was. He's unleashing the Angel under the base.

You need to fucking hurry.

(1/2)

>>564673
As you sprint into the elevator again, you ignore the aches of battle and your other worries. You need to get to the EVA hangar ASAP, if that Angel get's loose you don't trust anybody else to stop it.

Also if you stop it, you'll be in a position to get even more girls for your party, and by any and all Gods up above, you will not be denied.

Flipping out your phone you hit speed-dial on NERV comms, screaming at the faggot subordinates who seem to be denying you access to the top. As you finally get Misato on the line, you nervously check the elevator counter, noting it might not be going fast enough.

"Misato, get in your fucking chair and get UNIT-01 ready!"

"We're already deploying the nearest EVA pilots right now, it might take some tim-"

"FUCK THEM, GET MY SHIT READY BY THE TIME THIS ELEVATOR GETS TO THE BAY!"

You cut the line and check some of the drugs you have in your hands.

No. No. No. Definitely not.

Fucking hell.

As the doors open to the hangar, you start forwards and kick open the next set of doors to the surprise of none of the techs who'd seen your performance earlier. As you make your mad dash on to the EVA, one of the techs tosses you a pop tart and you catch it in your mouth and take a couple bites of sweet strawberry.

As the background becomes a blur, you note the circle of staff working on your EVA as you approach. An idea pops into your head right before you consider jumping into the cockpit and turning up some tunes.

>Jump into the action to assist the other pilots

>Grab a tech and sync your EVA to the new "you"

(2/2)

>>564733
>Grab a tech and sync your EVA to the new "you"

>>565009
Support

Rise and shine people! How's the quest going?

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>>565029
>>565009
You grab the white lab coat of the nearest tech and drag the unfortunate man up to your face, getting the attention of the circle wholly.

"Sync me the fuck up!" you scream at the top of your lungs, properly motivating them to start tapping away at the myriad collection of keyboards and other brainy devices.

You jerk your thump at the cockpit and a tech on the other side hits a switch, opening up the EVA and giving you your entrance. Sprinting forwards, you dive into the seat and make short work of the remains of he pop tart in your free hand. Rummaging around the seat, you find that the techs have adequately supplied you with foodstuffs and alcohol.

Shame to be getting drunk so early, but you don't have much choice. Filling your face with a hamburger, fries, a protein shake, and a few shots of some vodka, in that order, you find yourself properly refreshed for another fight.

A higher ranking tech gives you the thumbs-up and you strap yourself into your seat, just in time to be shocked violently by an extreme surge of energy. The entire EVA seems to shake as you writhe violently in your seat, but instead of feeling yourself burn and wither, you feel almost...invigorated.

As the wave ends, you use the HUD and find several of the statistics displayed markedly better than they'd just been, and as you check the exterior cameras and then the NERV visual feed, you find your UNIT to have changed spectacularly.

Instead of the skinny, beanpole looking EVA you expected to see, your eyes are now greeted by a fully RIPPED machine with bulging muscles combined with a new paintjob of red and black.

Checking the armaments, and then the REAL weapons, you find your cannon on the UNIT to have increased multiple sizes, indeed, it would have been more obscene had your frame not been as muscled and full as it was.

Satisfied with the sync, you break free of the metal restraints, tearing them to pieces easily with the gargantuan strength now available to you. The techs beat you to opening the doors though, their haste in releasing the locks seemingly borne out of a desire to not have to fix them again.

Once free of the enclosure, you leap forwards, your mighty legs granting you an extreme amount of flight and protecting your joints from damage as you land on concrete.

Finally opening up comms again, you hear NERV frantically directing your fellows against a truly monstrous Angel, the one Gendo had locked up for some fucking reason.

With a roar, the white and red beast swipes with a massive club-looking arm and slams another one of your comrades to the dirt before turning and launching another sky high with an uppercut from nowhere.

Out of nowhere you hear a familiar voice on the comm from a red UNIT approaching on the side of the beast.

"Hey, Megadork! We need a little help over here!" Asuka yells as she charges the angel head on, engaging in a savage tackle that pushes the angel back for a few steps. (1/2)

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>>565145
Digging into the ground with it's enormous legs, it stops dead still before grabbing Asuka's EVA in two over sized hands.

"Let go you fuckin-"

The angel obliges by grabbing the waist in one hand, and winding back to throw the UNIT like a torpedo through several city blocks and buildings.

From the radio silence that ensues after impact, you fear the worst.

Anger blazes in your heart, synchronizing with the pure, utter violence brewing within you, clawing to be free. And throughout that, a call to action from the depths of your soul, your primal hard wiring.

An alpha male and an alpha male. Very well.

When two meet, only one leaves alive.

(d100).

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>565156

Any other rolls?

>>565156
This is fucking awesome, where the fuck is everyone?! 1!

>>565494
Maybe Advertise the thread on QST General, they will get attention to this movie crashing quest.

I have advertised on the general thread. I'm sure they will get attention.

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>565156
Rolling.

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>565156

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>565156

>>566822
Putting your fists up, you walk up to the Angel, intent on being the winner of this clash and being the alpha male.

Dashing in, you open it up with two quick jabs, snapping the beast's head back before ducking under a retaliatory swing with a quick lean to the side.

Taking advantage of the opening, you fire off your hook by shifting off your legs to fling yourself forwards, cracking the jaw of the angel before bringing yourself back to guard with both hands to block a second counterattack, the strength of which pushes you backwards and seems to damage your arms.

Circling again, you blast a few probing jabs that land without any significant effect before zig-zagging inwards with a series of hooks and straights to the chest, rewarding you with the satisfactory sound of cracking bones. Evading another gargantuan straight by the angel, you follow up with a thunderous uppercut before collapsing the beast with a flurry of jabs and hooks to the face.

As it falls, you leap onto it and begin beating its now blood-stained face in with ferocity, raining in hammer strikes and combining your knee and elbows to crush and demolish bone and flesh.

The beast seems far from done, however, as it places two massive hands on you and pushes you off with enough force to send you flying backwards into a nearby ruined building, collapsing it for good. Pushing your way through the wreckage and getting back on your feet, you stare down the beast as it does the same and utters a savage roar, exposing razor-sharp teeth and a cavernous mouth.

With a certain degree of pleasure, you note that several of its teeth are missing from your efforts.

The two of you charge at each other, engaging in a brutal death-struggle in which you duck and weave while swinging and punching and the beast attempts to crush you in one devastating blow with either of its building-sized fists.

Though the angel is badly beaten like the big pussy boy it is, after a few minutes of combat it eventually manages to get in one good strike, sending you spiraling through the air and eventually sprawling you out on the concrete. As you try to get yourself up again, past the increasingly prevalent red lights and alarm klaxons, you try to push against the bruising pain that's blasting through your body.

(1/2)

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>>569930

With one final effort, you realize that this single being is trying it's best to deny you the booty at the end of the tunnel. That more than anything ignites the next tidal wave of fury in you, and fully re-energized, you jump back up and slam your fists together in rage.

Finding the angel in your sights, you start sprinting as fast as you can, going so fast that you see the background around you pass in a blur and focusing intently on your target. Guided by hatred, you press with your legs and leap forwards, flying straight at the angel with its death on your mind and a wound up fist behind you.

As you come up on the angel, it tries to bring up a fist to break upon you as you enter within range but it’s far, far too slow. With the force of a doomsday meteor colliding with a planet, you bring your fist onto the monster’s oversized face. The resulting impact nearly shatters your entire arm, and it echoes that sentiment in the wave of pain that surges through you as you fall back to the Earth. The destruction wrought on the angel is far worse, however, as it’s face nearly falls apart at the seams.

Disjointed angles and shards of bone stick from exposed flesh, and the signs of massive internal bleeding are evident on its ugly mug as it staggers backwards, nearly lifeless.

Seizing on the opportunity, you find yourself in position to end this rightly, to put the matter of this of who is the true alpha male to rest once and for all.

>Falcon

>Slam

>Use the cannon

>>569931
Canon, for good measure and show!

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>>569931
>Falcon
Punch

>>569931
>>Falcon

>>569931
>Falcon

Rise and Shine, People!

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Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>569931
Lightning knee, leading into the climactic Falcon Punch

Morning People! How's everyone doing today?

Is anybody responding or would let me or Ishmael can make a new thread.

Welp, Time to make a new thread. >>580430