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“GAH FUCK SHIT JESUS MOTHERFUCKER AHHHHHHHHHH-”

Your screams are muffled by the unwashed hand that clamps over your mouth and holds your head down against the floor.

Three more sets restrain your arms and legs, preventing you from thrashing about as you struggle to GO GO GO GO GO!

ITS LIKE YOUR BRAIN IS ON FUCKING FIRE – COMMANDING YOU TO MOVE!

“Shhhhhhh, it's alright Will,” a female voice coos into your ear, emanating from a grey-robed figure, the cowl hung low over her face. You shudder as you hope this is just one more nightmare – and not perhaps the specter of death herself come to claim you.

“What's fucking wrong with him?” a familiar voice urgently demands, gruff and lowborn.

A second, much plumper grey-robed figure speaks an explanation in a high-pitched tone. “Aurochs hormone drawn directly from the –”

“Quiet!” An order from a fourth strangely familiar voice. A golden-haired Adonis takes up your field of vision, obscuring the taut canvas above that previously made up your small patch of sky.

A rocking bump and the sensation of movement informs you you're traveling. As your brain begins to calm itself – despite your body's surging refusal to comply – you rapidly blink as those piercing green eyes stare into your own.

“Will, you're alright,” Jaime Lannister informs you. “You're safe. Stop struggling.”

You will your limbs and extremities to stop convulsing. However, you find it impossible to completely halt your body's shaking. You breathe rapid shallow breaths as you feel the hands let go, including the one covering your mouth. Seems they've deemed the lessening of your nigh-involuntary bombastic behavior sufficient.

“Where am I?!” you demand with a rasp. The last thing you remember was dying in a black cell to the illusory dance of demons.

“In the back of a covered wagon leaving King's Landing,” the knight answers, a smile forming on his face as he clasps your shoulder and squeezes.

You spy the faces of the other people riding with you. Bronn was the man holding your mouth shut. As you lock eyes he simply nods, his visage unphased by the situation.

Next, your eyes go to the silent sister whispering in your ear. She pulls back the cowl obscuring her features to reveal a beaming Raina.

She winks. “Hey there Juliet,”

Laughing inwardly, you inspect the plumper of the silent sisters. She's rather large for . . . holy shit.

Y'know, seeing Varys in drag almost makes up for how shit you feel and how horrible a situation you're in right now.

He is certainly a master of disguises.

“Why didn't you tell me your plan?!” you shout at the eunuch.

“I wasn't entirely sure it would work,” Varys comments with a shrug. “The more you speak of plans the more likely they are to go awry. An old superstition, but still – your foreknowledge was unnecessary for the scheme's success. Speaking of it out loud could only do harm.”

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“Where's Chiggen?” you follow up.

“Driving the wagon,” Bronn answers.

“And Mills?”

“Cunt's gotten full of himself. Spending his time with The Knight of Roses –”

“Flowers,” Jaime corrects.

“Whatever.” Bronn rolls his eyes. “Point is: he's moved on. And before you ask, your dog's fine. Up front keeping Chiggen company. Our four horses are what's pulling us along. And the girl's got all your money.”

You spare Raina a second glance and she gives you a thumbs up.

“Any of my equipment get lost?” you pose the query to her.

She squints. “Well, I gave your last two bottles of wine to Chiggen and Bronn as a . . . bonus for their services.”

“Already been drunk,” Bronn muses. “They were a fine vintage.”

“All the stuff you had on your horse was fine. Your tools and outfits too. Well, except for the noble fancy stuff. That was, um, ruined by your prison stay.”

“Stained in piss and shit. You must have had a rough time of it, if you didn't even have a pot,” Bronn comments.

“We threw the outfit away after disrobing you,” Varys concludes. Damn, that's like the third set of noble clothes you've had ruined. Looking down you see your erstwhile companions have dressed in your entertainer's outfit while you were unconscious.

“Unfortunately as well, the gold you had on your person at the time of your arrest was . . . appropriated by the gaolers. As was your sword for the armory. I did succeed at procuring your musical instrument again, however.”

Thank the Gods for that one piece of good news, at least. Seems you have faked your own death and are now exiled from the city. Shit, wait.

“My spear and armor? How long has it been?”

Raina takes it upon herself to soothe your fears. “Ten days until they're completed. And once the smith guy has finished making them, me and Bronn are going to steal them.”

Good. Good, this isn't as bad a setback as you'd imagined.

Alright Velo, shit has gone tits up – but it's time for the comeback.

>What are your plans for the near future? (write-in)

Going to sleep now. Will probably be up in four hours to begin writing next update.

>>479549
Lay low for a bit? Not sure where though.

>>479549
I personally think we should head up to service of Stannis Baratheon and provide him scientific evidence that Joffrey's father had to have blonde hair.

Then again, there's Jaime on board, so he probably won't like the idea.

>>479549
Ask Varys and Jamie for advice

>>479549
Make our way to Storm's End, and try to get in touch with Renly

We do need to go somewhere that is not friendly to Lannisters in order to be safe and start up a business there.
How about heading to lands of Davos Seaworth?

>>479549
I say we head down to Weeping Town and book passage to Esposito. Fuck this Westeros shit.

Either that, or we make our way to the Citadel, maybe we can hang out with Merwyn the Mage.

Or maybe try to insinuate ourselves with Renly and plunder that boipuss.

>>479549
We're going to need to plan and rethink these things, make a shit ton of cash and build up our influence again. Probably under a different name since our old persona is now dead in the cells. Could we even use our stuff from that master smith and stuff? Ah well no matter, that being said we need to get good with spear while we build up our market practices, maybe establish a lot of shipping and such.

One idea I wanted to try was to move snow and ice to the summer islands for a premium price as it would have a lot of great value in one of the hotest places in the world. Sawdust works as a way to keep ice cold don't it?

>>479598
We can actually keep our name and influence if we just go to lands where Lannisters have no influence.

>>479612
There's going to be issues if William Shakespeare starts making waves again.

Take a lesson from nearly getting killed and be less overt. We still have our money

I say we head to stormlands, invent printing press and request Stannis to put us under his protection while we rake in the cash.

We still need to convince him to get the obsidian to the Night's Watch.

>>479617
We're gonna cause waves anyway though.

>>479549
Tell Jamie and Varys about the threat beyond the wall.

>>479540
Rest up and see how everyone has been, if Varys has any suggestion on what our next course of action should be. Also tell Jamie and Varys about the White Walkers.

>>479631
+1

>>479631
Most important thing to tell them

>>479617
Oh, also, we do have our heraldic spear, so that'll be pretty obvious telling of who we are.

>>479661
Though we could change our first name if there are legal issues.
We could state we're Richard Shakespeare, the brother of late William Shakespeare.

10/10

>>479639
>>479549
Supporting this

Sean bean our new name since we died.

>>479511
Try not getting killed again. Lay low and head for Dragonstone, maybe Stannis will listen to you

>>479549
Step one is planning for revenge, try to make sure Varys is really our ally and confer with him what the plan is going forwards. Try to get info on our nemesis from him.

Just caught up on the last session. Fucking up going totally AU and making Cersei, Jamie and Varys into totally non cannon characters. Fucking retarded anons voting to kill Danny, remember we are playing ASoIaF here, if you kill the fire, the I've will win!

As to where we go... Stannis is a cunt but we do need that dragon glass for the night's watch, Need hates us (still?), Danny doesn't need us...

But we are traveling with the warden of the West and the East. He won't take charge himself because of kings guard honor bullshit but we might be able to get him to organise a bunch of houses into a anti ice zombie force... subtly, maybe by.... playing a song?

So in summary go get obsidion from Stannis then head wherever Jamie thinks he had most influence

>>480098
Stannis isn't a cunt.
He's only a cunt in the TV show, which wasn't canon.

>TV stannis "Hurr let's burn my daughter."
>Book Stannis "If I die, continue fighting until Shireen sits on the Iron Throne."

>>480098
The only reason the book and show needs Dany is because before the WW amassed a huge army, no one did shit. We've warned the wall and started preparations way before they're a force to start worrying about. We could wait another year to gather everything up and still have plenty of time to make sure the wall is armed.

We need to tell Vary every plot we know of his, because the queen does too.

>>480098
Well...

Aegon could probably hatch the eggs too, Blackfyre or Targaryian both were able to tame dragons.

>>480851
Why not Jon?

>>480098
>Fucking retarded anons voting to kill Danny
We weren't Will there. We were Mira. Remember Mira's goals were to prop up Lannister rule. She doesn't care about the White Walkers.

Gotta play in character.

>>480859
Distance and the difficulty of getting from to then abandon his nights watch vows, Aegon is already at the disputed lands with a force to match/ally with Khal Drogo (who'd be double incensed over the death of his wife)

Was the assassin before or after cart kings crown?

Mira screwed herself eitherway, without Dany Khal Drogo isnt cursed by the witch, and will succeed in getting his hoards to the ships.

It depends if Jaquen is pro choice or oro life, if he cant kill dany until the baby is born.

>>480925
But will the ships even accept Drogo without Dany? Will Drogo even care about conquering Westeros?

>>480878
Why the hell should he need to abandon his Night's Watch vows or move anywhere?
We just have to get them deftly delivered unto him.

>>480851
I wonder if people from other dimensions can hatch dragons

>>480955
Drogo won't care about conquering westeros.
He might care about vengeance, but if the faceless man does the assassination at usual protocol, then it'll look like an accident.

>>480973
He wanted the conquer westeros for the Attempt, wont the same happen when they succeed?

>>480955
He went to hire ships and was collecting slaves to sell for the costs.

>>479549
>discretely propose to trade intel with Varys

>>480971
Probably.
It should not be impossible to replicate the scenario, provided we gain access to a shadowbinder, dragon eggs and sacrifices.
Ultimately, all we're talking about is blood, magic and fire.

There's a possibility that Targaryen blood functions much like Stark blood does in a way, meaning that there's magic in it inherently, but to be fair there hasn't been any conclusive evidence to support this.

It could be that the burning corpse of droggo filled to brim with sacrificial magic juju acted like an incubator for the eggs. I mean, wild dragons didn't need Targs to hatch their eggs.

>>481080
Wild dragons stopped being a thing at the Doom of Valaryia though. Only the Targs had dragons for hundreds of years

>>481117
Not actually, there's still some in Asshai, but nobody goes near them because they're huge assholes.

>>481437
Also because when you go to shadowlands, you generally don't come back.

Before we go anywhere we should ask how far Varys and Jamie are coming with us.

Maybe if we get Jamie alone we should have a little heart to heart, ask him how many of Cerseis plots he knows...tell him lysa and Cersei with the assistance of Pycelle killed Jon Aryn

>>479568
>>479639
>>479639
>>480075

Lay Low, get advice from Jaime and Varys

>>479573
>>479902

Go to Stannis, talk about Joffrey dad.

>>479583
Go to Storm's End (NOTE: Renly is currently in King's Landing)

>>479594
GTFO HERE BOY

>>479598
Make cash money doing merchant things

>>479631
>>479639
>>479642
>>479888

Tell Jaime and Varys about White Walkers baby

>>481062
Intel trade with Varys

Writing!

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!"

This might be a long-term goal, but might we consider Braavos as a base of operations in the future?
>outside of shitty Westerosi political climate
>slavery exclusively prohibited
>colossal shipping, banking, and trading scene, so no one bats an eye at a merchant starting up there
It strikes me as the most stable place in the world during the SoIaF times.

>>481656
Also massive amounts of organised crime in there mate.

>>481656
The sisters are better. Filled with outlaws and pirates, but close enough for us to influence westeros. Plus white walkers can't swim

>>481664
Hey, at least their crime is organized. Beats the shit out of the imminent and omnipresent threats of slavery, raiding, and super-corrupt nepotism that have the rest of the world locked in civil war.

We stay in Westeros, we'll get mugged blind for being peasants and attacked by other houses for allying with anybody in power. At least organized crime might be susceptible to leaving you alone if you pay their rackets.

>>481727
That's why Stannis' realm is pretty damn good.
None of those problems exist in there.

>>481727
Also, we'd be foreigner in Braavos.
Technically we're a foreigner here too, but they don't know that.

The problem is, their laws might be pretty discriminatory when it comes to foreign investments.
Kind of like how in rome if there was ever a dispute about property rights and land, the roman would automatically win.

>>481656
Kinda Dorne fits the bill. Powerful canon, but MUCH of it is left unsaid and outside our knowledge

That and letting the viper know that his snakes have been made gives us bonus points. Obrynn has so much intel its crazy

Dragonstone is pretty safe from invasions and shit

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You sit up in the back of your wagon. Aches and pains assault you and the blood rushes to your head from the action. Before you collapse back down due to wooziness, Raina moves her hands to support your back. She leans you against the taut canvas and you speak to your allies.

“Alright, I think I'm going to lay low for the time being. Jaime, Varys. Any advice?”

Jaime deigns to speak first. “Well we're currently heading to the keep and holdfast of House Byrch. They are a minor noble family in the Crownlands. Their holdings are only a few leagues north of the capital. There you will recover your strength and I will finish training you.”

You laugh. “We're still doing that?” you ask.

Jaime shrugs. “I don't see why not. My sister is Queen and my brother is Hand now. They will be much more able at protecting the King then a knight with one good arm.” That news causes you to squint hard. Tyrion is already the Hand?

“Do you mean the acting Hand?” you attempt to clarify. Tywin is he Hand after Eddard.

Jaime shakes his head. “No. Once Eddard Stark fled back North to his frozen shithole of a Kingdom, my sweet sister manged to sway Robert into naming Tyrion Hand of the King. Ruling has always been a jape to my brother-in-law. I'm sure he saw the chance to place a . . . dwarf in the highest elected position of power would be another way to snub the kingdoms of Westeros for daring to name him King. Regardless, my brother's appointment may very well have been Robert's smartest decision in his seventeen years of rule.”

Varys nods. “The Imp is a clever man.”

You look to the eunuch. “What about you Varys?”

He blinks. “Advice? Consider yourself lucky for surviving the dungeons of the Red Keep. Retire to a peaceful and humble life far from the woman who ordered your death. I only saved you because the Lannister brothers can be quite . . . insistent.”

Jaime chuckles, knocking his knees together from where he sits.

“Alright. Well . . .” You rub your face as you ponder how to tackle this next subject of conversation. “It is good you saved me. Varys, you already know and I assume Tyrion informed you, Jaime, that I . . .”

“Know things, yes,” Jaime finishes your sentence for you.

You nod. Good, hopefully the extenuating circumstances will make this easier for you.

“Well then here's something you should be aware of. North of the Wall there is a . . . threat to the realms of men. An army planning to invade.”

“Men made of ice,” Jaime confirms. “I've heard the tale from Tyrion. White walkers?”

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Varys shudders. “I despise magic. I do remember Lord Tyrion asked King Robert for access to caches of Wildfire in an effort to arm the Night's Watch. I suppose when it comes to men made of ice, fire is the preferable course of action. Unfortunately, the act of transporting and moving the jars were deemed too dangerous, considering they had to be hauled a thousand leagues North to arm an organization of exiles and criminals. If only we still had dragons . . .” Vary sighs the off-hand remark. Despite searching his face for some knowing smirk, you find his expression inscrutable.

Jaime shrugs. “There's not much either I nor the eunuch can do down here in the Capital. Other than try our damnedest to keep the realm stable. Which we will!” Jaime speaks without conviction, staring hard at Varys.

Varys gives Jaime a 'the fuck did I do?' look. The Kingslayer simply rolls his eyes and switches focus back to you. “I wish you luck in your endeavors, wherever they bring you.”

>Skip to acquiring your arms and armor
>Ask Raina to buy you something from the capital (What?)
>Something else? (write-in)

>>482028
>Something else? (write-in)
Ask Raina to try to take Gendry with her

>>482028
>Skip to acquiring your arms and armor
>Ask Raina to buy you something from the capital (What?)
Another set of noble clothes

>>482040
+1
>it's a tot suggests a good idea episode

>>482028
Let's go too training with Jamie give bronn and chiggin some gold in thanks, then tell Varys and Jamie we'll tell each of the 1 secret if we know it. In thanks and good faith

>>482028
Also give Bron and Chiggin some gold for staying loyal. Thank all of them in general for helping.

>>482104
Eh better to control what secrets you have.

That said if you wanted to pull Varys aside and talk shop about Dany you can.

>>482040
>>482100

Grab dat Gendry

>>482104
>>482116
Give Bronn and Chiggen dat loyalty gold.

How much?

>50 gold each
>100 gold each
>200 gold each

>>482143
100 gold each I guess.

>>482143
50 not too much

>>482028
Warn Varys that many of his ongoing... backups, have been made. Someone knows as much as we do and whispers it to the queen, or the king?

Also thank Jamie. Holy shit.

>>482143
>>100 gold each

>>482143
50

>>482143
>>50 gold each

>>482143
50 gold each

>>482028
Tell Varys that Obsidian also works against white walkers and that's basically just melted rocks that's been dumped into water and that he should get some greenhouses for the watch if he can so they can be self sufficient.

>>482100
I mean it was Kaze's idea, I'm just making sure it gets posted

>>482143
50
Fiddy

Seduce Jamie while training

>>482143
100 cause we're not jewish.

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Rolled 51 (1d100)

“Raina, when you go steal the spear and armor I lawfully paid for, acquire Tobho's apprentice as well. I want Gendry to come with us.”

Your female friend frowns. “That . . . might be difficult.”

Bronn shrugs. “No it won't. Does it matter if he comes willingly?”

“Yes!” you assure your sellsword, quashing any thoughts he had of kidnapping. “I'd also like to thank the two of you sellswords for remaining loyal. Raina, give 50 gold dragons to both Chiggen and Mills. And I give my thanks to the rest of you as well, for saving my arse from the most powerful woman in King's Landing.”

Varys and Jaime acknowledge your gratitude simply.

. . .

You arrive at the House Byrch holdfast a little under an hour later. Jaime explains a fabricatd situation to Ser Balman Byrch – currently holding his ancestral home in the stead of his elder brothers.

Ser Byrch agrees to let Ser Jaime Lannister train his squire, namely you, somewhere secluded on his property to 'maximize your learning potential'.

Varys takes his leave with Raina and the sellswords as the wagon makes its way back to the capital.

. . .

After spending a few days recuperating your strength from the poison that ran its course through your body and the ye olde adrenaline shot Varys employed to snap you out of it, you continue the training that Cersei so rudely interrupted with her attempt upon your life.

The following week of training plays out much the same as your first day sparring with the greatest knight in Westeros. Yet, as the sun waxes and wanes you become more competent and more proficient with a spear with each subsequent day.

Eventually, Jaime not only instills in you the basic instincts for the improvisation of deadly combat, but also the proper training to utilize other simple to master weapons like the knife and club. Just so, if you're in a pinch and have been disarmed, perhaps you can adequately employ a back up to save your skin from a true death.

Throughout this week of alone time with Jaime, you also . . .

>Attempt seduction
>Convince him Cersei is unfaithful
>Tell him something specific (what?)
>Something else? (write-in)

>>482391
>Attempt seduction
IF SUCCESSFUL
>Convince him Cersei is unfaithful

>>482391
>Convince him Cersei is unfaithful
Don't think Jamie is gay senpai, no matter how pretty Will is.

>>482401
It wouldn't be an option if it weren't possible

>>482391
>>Convince him Cersei is unfaithful

>>482391
>>Convince him Cersei is unfaithful

>>482405
This is Trick we are talking about. Of course it can be an option and not be possible.

>>482415
nah the DC will just be high, Trick will never say no to an opportunity for more gay sex

>>482399
This
G8 G8 G8 G8!!!

>>482391
"You're one of the few flawed yet grand heros of this age Jamie. You're named Kingslayer and Oathbreaker behind your back or to your face, but you're still as honorable as Duncan the tall."

>>482391
>Attempt seduction
>Convince him Cersei is unfaithful

Only the second one if we pass the first well, point out its Lancel and possibly more

>>482421
So seduce him?

>>482399
>>482423

Attempt Seduction

>>482401
>>482399
>>482411
>>482413
>>482423

Convince him Cersei is unfaithful

Alright, roll me 1d100 + 16, best of 3. This is a diplomacy check.

Don't fuck up

Rolled 39 + 16 (1d100 + 16)

>>482429
time to fuck it up!

Rolled 44 + 16 (1d100 + 16)

>>482429

Rolled 14 + 16 (1d100 + 16)

>>482429

Rolled 9 + 16 (1d100 + 16)

>>482429

Rolled 46 + 16 (1d100 + 16)

>>482429
Because you told me to

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Rolled 26 (1d100)

Nice going

>>482437


Oh, a combined total of 60 to convince a man that the love of his life is a cheating whore, also revealing you totally know he's porking his sister.

I'm sure things will go smoothly in this next update.

Writing!

>>482448
Whelp, so much for our friendship

>>482448
Didn't we have the silver tongue feat that is supposed to prevent negative diplomacy outcomes?

>>482502
all it does is make us not sound like a dumbass.
so our point comes across very well but he ain't going to take us saying it very well I hazard to guess

>>482502

>not sounding like a dumbass
>no negative consequences

very different.

>>482448
She's probably fucking moon boy thou.

How about just making a point on the fact that people who cheat on their spouses never stop with just one?
Was there never a time she didn't hate Robert?
If I recall, she was quite happy in marrying the king and tried to change him once.

>>482533
The point being is that he might end up being just another ex-man for her when she finds someone more convenient than him.

We these are in our favour
1) she has cheated before and he knows it
2) he knows we know the future and likely past
3) he thinks we're an ok bloke and so does his bro
4) why else would she want us dead
5) have we ever lied to him before

>>482570
>she lied to him as to why WE needed to be exacuted

Oh shit what if there's another shitposter in essos with Dany. What if Viserys is still alive because of that?!

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The two of you are still trading blows upon the day Raina should be returning with your weapon and - hopefully - pet smith. Deciding your relationship has progressed enough into territory you would describe as friendship, you inform Jaime about the truth of his 'paramour'.

“So,” you awkwardly begin. Broaching this subject is tough and will require all of your diplomatic tact. “Your sister was the one who attempted to take my life.”

Jaime frowns, his thrust becoming half-hearted mid-lunge. “I believe she was.”

“You spoke with the queen?” you probe. “In private?”

“Correct. She insisted you were merely jailed for killing the bookie and his men. But the use of the black cells, Tyrion's conjecture and confirmation from the Spider proved she had ulterior motives. I'm surprised Prince Joffrey wasn't involved. I . . . apologize for his attempt upon your life as well.”

“So the Queen lied to you,” you state rather than accuse, skipping right over acknowledging the other family member who tried to kill you. “To her own brother.”

“Yes,” he grudgingly admits, locking eyes with you. He is vaguely aware you have a point.

“If the Queen wanted me dead, do you think it's because I knew how to make a few tourney bets to earn myself some coin? Would that application of knowledge warrant my death?”

“No. She must have had a reason for it. Suspected you were aware of some . . . secret.”

“What secret do you suppose she thought I know?” the question is leading and the answer obvious to the golden-haired man.

Jaime stares at you, his mouth forming a firm line. He lowers his weapon and you stick the butt of your blunted spear in the dirt. Moments of tense silence pass. Jaime's hands tighten round his sword, knuckles going white.

“I could kill you here,” Jaime informs you coolly. “No poison, no pretense, no subterfuge. Cut you down. Kill your girl and your bodyguards when they return. Tell my brother I did it and not suffer a single consequence.”

“No legal consequences," you retort. "No moral ones either, most like. I know you're committed to preserving your . . . relationship. But you will suffer the consequence of heartbreak when she betrays you.”

Jaime laughs that imperious, arrogant laugh of his.

“She keeps secrets from you," you point out. "She lies to you. I know you love her but she is unfaithful.”

“Of course she is! She's married to Robert.”

“I don't mean Robert.”

“And who do you mean?” he asks, attempting to sound rhetorical but you notice a hint of desire behind the words.

“ . . . Lancel, for one.”

“Lancel” Jaime says with an unbelieving laugh. “Lancel?! Alright we're finished with training. You are proficient and can make it on your own from here on out.”

“Its true.”

“You've been wrong before.”

“Only because of my own interference.”

“Well then, I'll just have to inter–”

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“HELLO~~~!” Raina's singsong voice greets your ears from some distance off.

You lock eyes with Jaime and together you silently agree to drop the subject.

Making your way to the front of the holdfast, Raina steps down from the covered wagon.

She throws a Valyrina steel spear at you – HOLY FUCK!

It was underhand but you don't risk that shit. You dive out of the way, rolling through the dirt and let the sharp weapon clatter to the ground. Raina puts her hands on her hips and stares at you, disappointed. But you merely return the same look as you get up, dusting yourself off.

Stooping down to pick up your spear and heft it, you examine the fine weapon. A head as black as night and a shaft as white as bone. Glittering gold sparkles when the sunlight hits it just right – 'To Be or Not To Be' – emblazoned and shiny. That is the question you will ask of your enemies – whether they shall continue to be or not be by your martial ministrations.

The scene of battle is hard to make out but on close inspection the detail on the undead is exquisite.

You test the ruby skull pommel, its onyx eyes dead and lifeless. Doesn't seem too malleable or easy to crack.

The spear's material make it lighter than the mock one you were using earlier. You smile to yourself – it looks amazing and is exactly the appearance you imagined. You squeeze it tight, twirling it in your hands with the ease of a trained warrior.

Bronn approaches and throws you you new fancy armor as well. Again, the sigil painted upon the scales with your house words beneath it are intricately detailed. And the phrases on the back are verbatim what you informed the Master Smith to engrave. 'God hath given you one face and you make yourself another.' And 'Madness in great ones must not go unwatched'.

You slip it on and while it uncomfortably slows down your movements, the protection it provides adds a level of safety that puts your mind at ease.

You search out between your dog and horses for the sight of a burly, young smith. When you don't find the bastard you're looking for, you set your sights upon Raina.

“Gendry refused?”

She nods. “He wants to be an armorer and learn how to mold Valyrian steel.”

“Can you blame him?” Bronn asks, gesturing with a cock of his head to your spear -- a jealous glint in his eye.

Raina gulps and taps you on the shoulder, to bring your attention back to her. She practically whispers this next part right into your ear. “Robert Baratheon left to on a hunting trip about a week ago.”

Hmmmmm

>Doesn't concern us, let's go
>Try to save the King of the Seven Kingdoms?
>Something else? (write-in)

>>482640
>Doesn't concern us, let's go

>>482640
>>Doesn't concern us, let's go
eh

>>482640
>Doesn't concern us, let's go
Lay low guys. It's too late for him.

>Something else? (write-in)
Tell Jamie and Bronn that shit is about to go down.

>>482640
>The fuck Robert is not going to be saved by us. Let's go

>>482640
>Something else? (write-in)
I'm sorry I upset you Jamie, I really am. And don't worry, we love who we love and too me that's fine. However know this, your king is destined to be murdered by your sisters order, he will be mortally wounded in a hunting accident due to poisoning from Lancel whom your sister.... Convinced.

If this comes too pass, you know I'm right. Your a good man Ser Jamie and a real hero of the people even if they don't know it. Don't let your heart be used against you. Or all shall perish as is destined

>>482662
I'll second this

>>482662
This

>>482662
+1

>>482662
This is better

Weapon Proficiency (Simple) – You have learned to use simple weapons, such as spears, daggers, and clubs. (+5 to Spear, +5 to dagger, +5 to club)

When thrust into the rigors of combat, you will fight with the training that befits a soldier – even if you are outnumbered or outskilled.

>>482640
Speak to Jamie.
His newphew (because bronn is here) will go off the deep end without proper guidance. Either squiring him elsewhere, have him raised at the rock, he needs to be able to be humbled

Votes called.

Getting food and then taking a shower. update will be written after that unless I go play pokemon go.

Check the pastebin.

Rolled 80 (1d100)

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>482763
Counterattack

Rolled 11 (1d300)

Rolling for Mills

>>482685
Trick how does it feel to be a railroad conducter?

Rolled 108 (1d300)

>>482768
Rolling for Loras

>>482662
>>482640
This.Also attempt seducion after apologizing

>>482662
That sounds very spergy.

>>482685
update never ever

>>482763
Oh fuck I know what that's for... Shit Robbert survived

>>483065
or dany

File: Jaime Lannister.jpg (35 KB, 540x360)

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“That doesn't concern us,” you inform your black-haired friend.

She recoils slightly and cocks her head. “Isn't that how King Bob . . . y'know?”

You sigh out. “We lost in King's Landing. Trying now will only get me killed. Again. We need to lay low, retreat and gather a workable plan. With someone who has their shit together better than Robert.”

Raina nods, though she pouts. “That's a shame. He was cool. But if that's what you think is best. I'll ready the wagon and be ready to head out whenever.”

Your friends move back to the covered wagon, giving you space and some time alone to say your goodbyes.

Jaime sticks his hand out for you to grasp firmly and shake. With your privacy re-established, you say your parting piece to the knight.

“I apologize for upsetting you Ser Jaime. Truly, I am. You love who you love and that's fine by me.”

Jaime sighs out. “Don't dwell on it. I mean that, too. Don't dwell on it. You have no proof and if that rumor spreads I'll hunt you down myself.” His cocky smile returns. “Promise to take that particular secret to your grave and you have my forgiveness.”

Too bad Stannis is going to make that promise mean jack fucking shit when he spreads the news across Westeros.

“Listen, Jaime. I have one last piece of information to impart upon you before I go.” You peer round to make sure Ser Balman Byrch is nowhere in earshot, before dropping your voice to a hushed whisper.

“The grand hunt Robert Baratheon now takes part in is destined to be his last. Your sister has bribed Lancel to offer the King extra strong wine, making the man drunker than he aught to be. He will then be mortally wounded in a hunting accident by a wild boar.”

Jaime's eyes bulge out of his skull at your warning. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, Cersei will then . . . reward, Lancel. If the King comes to perish in this manner you know I have told you the truth. You are a good man, Ser Jaime. A real hero of the people. Don't let your heart be used against you. Or all shall perish as is destined.”

After a few seconds pause digesting your prophetic advice, he nods his head strangely.

“Stay safe,” Jaime tells you with one last firm pump of your hand. He lets go. “And try not to talk yourself into prison again, alright?”

“Alright,” you concur with a laugh. “Goodbye Ser Jaime.”

“Goodbye William.”

With a final wave of your hand, you turn round and walk past the stone wall that boxes in House Byrch's courtyard. Chiggen smiles genuinely atop the coach driver's position as he picks up the reins to your four harnessed horses.

You approach where he sits beside your pupper and rest a gloved hand against the hindquarters of your steed.

“Where are we headed, m'lord?” Chiggen asks.

>Dragonstone
>Storm's End
>Casterly Rock
>Highgarden
>The Citadel
>Winterfell
>Sunspear
>The Eyrie
>Somewhere else? (write-in)

>>483138
>Dragonstone

>>483138
>>Highgarden

>>483138
>Dragonstone
Time to meet stannis

>>483138
Dragonstone

>>483138
>>Dragonstone

>>483144 (Proxyfag)
>>483170 (Proxyfag)
>>483174 (Proxyfag)
>>483175 (Proxyfag)

Dragonstone

>>483162

Highgarden

Highgarden wins!

jk :^)

Writing

>>483178
I'm honestly curious what Melisandre's reaction to us will be.
If she has visions of us, she knows we're on the side of the living.

>>483193
lol, i wonder what she will think when she staress in our eyes and sees earth and all the machines of the modern world

>>483193
She sees darkness, utter darkness we are the death of death itself. We are from beyond the dark and night, behind the stars and light, we are the end of their story, we exist outside and beyond this world

>>483198
>She just hears "America Fuck Yeah" playing.

>>483204
She sees a montage of action movie clips, eagle flying and the flag. It ends with hulk Hogan screening WE'RE COMING FOR YOU BRUTHER!

>>483205
>She tries to look into the flames who will is but as she does so this starts playing and she immediately snuffs out he flame because it's so loud that it's making her ears bleed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgUB3lF9IQA

File: The Lord of Dragonstone.png (168 KB, 350x233)

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“Dragonstone!” you inform your employee.

His face melts into a grimace. “Oh. Ohhh~” Chiggen deflates and sags. You just chuckle, patting him on the back and scratching the top of Millennium's head to remind him he's a good boy.

You hop in the back and relay the same news of your destination to Bronn and Raina. Raina seems relatively unaffected, but Bronn is certainly bemused.

To soothe the disheartened spirits of your companions, you pull out your lute and begin to play them all a song.

File: Spoiler Image (334 KB, 782x541)

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The first scream that projects itself through your window jolts you awake. Roused from a pleasant dream where you were still back on Earth, you reacquaint yourself with your bedchamber in the Maidenvault for a mere beat of the heart. Throwing off the light blankets, you hop out of bed and rush to the entrenched iron bars of your sole window that prevents 'escape'. An annoying feature befitting and revealing of the Maidenvault's original purpose.

Straining your ears you hear metal clashing and colliding with metal, distant shouts, incomprehensible orders. You squish your face up against the cool bars.

Shit.

Peering out into the dark, starry night that cools the sweltering city; sources of light – torches and lanterns, you predict – dance furiously in the distance.

The assassination had gone off without a hitch two days earlier somewhere in the middle of the Kingswood. Robert Baratheon currently lays in his bedchambers within Maegor's Holdfast, bleeding to death under the numbing effects of Milk of the Poppy.

So then who the fuck is attacking whom? And why? And who's winning? And how is this happening in the capital right now?!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

You sigh out, thrusting yourself away from the barred window with a futile push. Thank you Cersei's beautiful bouncing tits in the sky that you weren't in a drunken, drugged up stupor this night. Although, as your latest migraine begins to set in, you realize, tomorrow – if you miraculously survive that long – you will be in a drunken, drugged up stupor.

Alright, turning back to scan your personal effects that litter the room -- quills, ink, parchment, frilly dresses and other assorted articles of clothing, a near-empty bottle of dreamwine, the bottle of basilisk venom disguised as perfume on your writing desk and the crossbow hidden in your closet -- you lick your lips.

Alright, first thing's first.

>Grab your crossbow
>Pocket the poison
>Throw on your cloak
>All three bitch!
>Something else? (write-in)

>>483229
>>All three bitch!
let the games begin

>>483229
>All three bitch!
Time to pack up shop and fucking get the hell outta dodge

>>483229
>>All three bitch!

Rolled 64, 77, 14 = 155 (3d100)

Writing!

File: Crossbow.jpg (35 KB, 500x281)

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You don't have time to slip out of your night gown, but thankfully it is – oddly enough – one of the least restricting outfits you are forced to wear at court. If things were popping off while you were stuck in a tight bodice you think you'd just have to slice yourself free with a knife.

You rush into your rather large closet – compared to the size of the rest of your room. Clearly, even the poorer courtiers are expected to have a wealth of variety when it comes to clothing. Everything's a show, isn't it?

Pawing your way past the extraneous, useless clothing you find the tattered cloak that is so near and dear to your heart.

It was the first piece of clothing you ever received in this hells-blasted world. And unlike many of your following acquisitions, it possessed two key redeeming qualities.

Nostalgia.

And POCKETS.

Slipping the brown, ratty thing over your shoulders and cinching it about your neck – one of those special qualities comes in handy for your next bit of preparation.

You put on a pair of fine, doeskin gloves – don't want to risk having your skin come into contact with the substance – and grab the perfume bottle off your writing desk. You slip the secret vial of basilisk's venom – courtesy of Grand Maester Pycelle, unbeknownst to him – into one of your cloak's glorious pockets.

Basilisk venom is a very useful poison as it is fast acting, which is very important since you're bringing it with you as a purely defensive measure. It will numb the face and cause muscular seizures if you can get some into a person's blood stream. Plus the rapid delivery system of the perfume bottle – wew lad – you squirt that directly into someone's eyes and they'll be rolling on the floor in agony before they realize they're horribly dying.

Now for the piece de resistance.

You stalk back to your closet and feel around for the crossbow laying up against the inner wall of the closet – out of sight from anyone.

Pulling it towards you, you heft the massive thing up – bolt already loaded. You haven't had a chance to practice much with the weapon and although you're not a terrible shot you only want to fire this thing as a last resort.

You didn't have room to hide extra bolts or a speed loader anywhere that wouldn't be obvious to the lightest of searches. And even if you did you really don't have the strength of arms to reload this sucker, especially in the middle of a pitched battle.

Regardless, the weapon is taut and ready to fire at a moment's notice. And hopefully that moment does not come tonight.

By the time you're prepared and psych yourself up, the sound of combat has grown much louder and closer. You throw up the hood of your cloak and let out a weary sigh. Let's rock.

File: Spoiler Image (17 KB, 212x300)

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You throw open the door and step out, aiming the weapon down both directions of the second story hallway.

One of the more curious and brave noble ladies residing in the Maidenvault spies your weapon peeking out from your door and utters a loud squeak before slamming her door shut.

Good. The less people see you the better.

You don't exactly run – but you don't skulk either – down the hallway. A brisk walking pace really, your hands shaking in nervous anticipation.

Upon reaching the grand staircase leading down to the 1st floor of the Maidenvault, the loud sounds of a nearby skirmish reach your ears.

You point your weapon over the railing as your eyes drink in the sight of a lone swordsman sparring with two Lannister guardsmen – one of which is Tregar himself. A third guardsmen lays slumped upon the floor, a pool of blood seeping from out under his corpse.

As you arrive and aim at the man slaughtering Cersei's men – gilded head to toe in heavy, shining plate – the longsword of the killer severs the head from the body of the unknown lannister soldier while his heavy steel shield strikes Tregar's helmet with such force that the captain stumbles backwards.

Before you can properly react to the gore, the viscera and how this person managed to hack off a man's head in one clean swipe, Tregar tries to counterattack, still reeling from the shield bash and is rewarded for his efforts by having his hand lopped off.

The Captain falls to the ground, screaming in agony, clutching his mutilated limb. Blood pours into a great pool from Tregar's stump and the other soldier's neck -- An offering to the Gods. Tregar's dismembered hand still clutches tight to his sword made of Lannister steel.

The winner of this fight raises his sword, prepared to coup de grace Tregar and put the man out of his crippled agony . . .when his eyes flick up to you, spotting where you've only very recently taken up a firing position.

Your hands tremble as his blue eyes meet yours and a smile graces his lips. He lowers the weapon slightly, granting Tregar a few more precious moments of life. He points a gauntleted finger up at you.

“Oi! Bitch,” he addresses you in a . . . is that a Dutch accent? “You fire that fokking thing and you'll regret it.”

>Shoot the son of a bitch
>Interrogate at crossbow point (what do you ask?)
>Tell him to back away from the still living guardsman
>Put the crossbow down
>Something else? (write-in)

>>483284
>Dutch accent
Yeah shoot that son of a bitch

>>483284
>What accent is that? Who in Westeros says "fokkin", honestly?

>>483284
>Interrogate at crossbow point (what do you ask?)
Who the fuck are you and why are you Dutch? Are you attacking the city? I WANT ANSWERS DAMMIT

>>483284
>interrogate

What the fuck is going on, Ninja?

>>483284
>>Put the crossbow down

>>483284
>>Interrogate at crossbow point (what do you ask?)
who are you

Alright I think this is a great place to leave it. Will tally votes and write the next update when I wake up.

>>483299
You've got some weird sleep/wake cycle, mah boi

>>483284
>Interrogate at crossbow point (what do you ask?)
>Tell him to back away from the still living guardsman
Mills you have been a bad boy

>>483284
>Interrogate at crossbow point (his dick size)

>>483284
>Shoot the son of a bitch
Fooking dick

Mills, you fucking wild cunt!

>>483284
>Open fire

>>483423
>ID: i+yyvSEx)
SEx

Mills having sex with mira confirmed

Also >>483423
Dont be a cunt

>>483284
>>Something else? (write-in)
You're a future cunt aren't you?

>>483284
>Interrogate at crossbow point (what do you ask?)
Who the fuck are you and why are you doing this?

>>483284
>interrogate

>>483284
>Interrogate after putting the crossbow down

Guys I don't think Mira would give away that she is an Earthling so easily. That's kind of an important secret.

Just ask him who he is and why he is here.

New to qst, how do you play these?

>>483738
Find a quest you are interested in and lurk. Watch how people play to get a handle on it.

>>483738
This
>>483750
But for the most part it's pretty easy. For most quests the QM will give a number of suggestions after each of his posts and there's usually an option to write in your own response. Pick one and post it. Oh, and don't trust any of those fags with names.

>>483898
>Oh, and don't trust any of those fags with names.

>>483284
>Put the crossbow down

>>483284
>Interrogate at crossbow point (what do you ask?)
"Care to explain why you've just killed and maimed these guards?"

>>484030
"Care to explain why you're
a faggot?"

>>483284
> put the crossbow down
He is in full heavy plate armour, do you really think you can put him down with one shot?

>>484210
That's rather what the whole point of a cross bow is for last I recalled...

>>484239
Not with one shot..also not with a not obvious crossbow....even if itbworksbhe may still revenge murder us

File: siege crossbow.jpg (26 KB, 564x311)

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>>484239
Well you're not incorrect, but you need a siege crossbow to go through plate armor and even then you need to hit in a good angle or it'll just be deflected and you also need to use armor piercing bolts.

>>484239
Now, if it's the same type of crossbow as Joffrey used, operating on a goats foot lever, it definately is better than your average hunting crossbow and would probably fuck up anyone using mail armor.

However, the ones using that mechanism were around 300lbs draw weight.
Proper siege crossbow with around 1000lbs draw weight vs plate armor looks something like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76mbOMFjlu0

I think this crossbow could only kill him if we hit head on and he doesn't raise the shield.

Plus...we have one bolt. Save it till we find out what he wants, worst comes to worst. We venom him as the liquid will seep through the armour and have him out of action

>>484311
It needs to enter into blood circulation or eyes and he's got his visor on, so we'd have to be within sword range to use the perfume bottle.
That is unless we coat the crossbow bolt with the poison, but as mentioned before, it is very unlikely that the crossbow will actually be able to go through his master crafted plate armour and padding.

>>484325
>>484311
>Wanting to kill mills..
>wanting to save velo's killer

Wew

>>484325
Also you got to know this is Mill we're talking about.
He just want to fuck Elinor, this is a surprise he did this, he should have a good reason, but it's Mill so it could either way.

>>484341
If it has a pussy, these cucks will do anything to service it.

It's really quite infuriating and pathetic.

>>483284
>Shoot the son of a bitch
I can't afford to keep this guy around

>>484341
We are playing in character, you mong

>>484370
or, we mills 're actually trying to be in character, and this girl doesn't know who is and obviously would want to save herself

>>484341
It's called playing a character, sures Mills is awesome and fuck this bitch. However we are playing as her now so play the damned part

>>483286
>>483385
>>483423
>>484397

Shoot this bitch

>>483288
>>483289
>>483290
>>483366
>>483368
>>483455
>>483631
>>484030

Interrogate

>>483366
Back away

>>483292
>>483931
>>484210

Vested self-interest.jpeg

File: A Twist of Fate.png (10 KB, 364x138)

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“Who are you?!” you demand, clenching the crossbow tight.

“Ser Mills of The Three Hills,” he answers with a cocky gesture. “My Sigil is a big cock pissing out a flaming sword and my House words are “Fokk off With That Shit”!

Great. This one sure is a keeper alright. You take a tentative step forward, still on the landing to the stairs with your crossbow aimed at him. He's not stupid and neither are you. Shooting him will not kill him unless you're damn fucking lucky. Tregar has curled into a ball by now and rolled over, still clutching his wound and wailing like a newborn babe.

“That accent is foreign. Where are you from?” you phrase the question in a way to make sure this idiot not realize you're from Earth too.

“Eh, I'm from somewhere you haven't heard of,” he shrugs off the question. You take a step down the stairs.

“What are you doing?” you ask the big winner question. “Why have you attacked and slain these men?” You gesture slightly to the bodies with your crossbow.

He guffaws. “Renly's taking the throne from that Cersei bitch. She thinks she's in charge but it's gonna be us now! Now, if you don't mind girlie, go back to bed so I can put this kaffir outta his misery.”

He brings his sword back up into prime stabbing position.

>Tell Ser Mills to back away from Tregar
>Shoot
>Ask more questions? (what?)
>Move past
>Something else? (write-in)

>>484633
>While he's distracted, apply poison to our crossbow bolt

>>484633
>Something else? (write-in)
Get the heck out of dodge and evacuate Cersei

>>484633
>>Something else? (get the hell away from here)
run bitch

>>484638
Seconding this.

Hopefully, we don't lick the bolt after we applied poison on it.

Also >Ask more questions? (what?)
I may have heard about your land, lady. Is it where Tulips grows in wonderfull color ?

>>484633
>Ask more questions? (what?)
"How in the Seven Hells are you supposed to take the throne by killing a bunch of guardsman? What you think you'll just go on a rampage and people will just accept Renly as King? Joffery and Tommen are next up and even if you managed to kill them Stannis is next, not Renly. Did you even think this through?"

>>484633
Run and alert the guards

>>484666
>>484633
Also yeah, probably should just run for it and get the VIPs out of here whilst alerting guards.

>>484643
This

>>484633
Run, take Cercei and Tyrion to Casterly Rock

>>484633
King Renly and queen Loras! Sweet deal.

>>484666
This, have you ever heard of Tywin Lannister you idiot, he we roll over the lot of you.

>>484638
>>484662

Poison the crossbow

>>484643
>>484650
>>484675
>>484677
>>484679
>>484682

Run bitch

>>484666
>>484696

Are you retarded?

>>484643
This, head for Cersei and bail

File: Maidenvault.jpg (368 KB, 1280x712)

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Fuck it. You lower the crossbow and bolt down the stairs as Ser Mills of the Three Hills plunges his sword into Tregar's neck, ending his life.

You've made it down the steps to the first floor, your bare feet padding across the Maidenvault towards one of the fallen Lannister guards.

Ser Mills casually retracts his sword from man flesh with a sickening, gurgling squelch. He grabs Tregar's crimson cloak and pulls it taut, lifting the deceased man slightly off the ground by the neck. The knight wraps the finely-crafted cloak around his sword and wipes the blade clean of its own crimson coloring.

Arming yourself with the fallen guard's sword, Ser Mills gives you a funny look as you heft the weapon.

“Hope you aren't getting any funny . . .” his words trail off as you stride in the opposite direction from where he stands amidst the bloody foyer.

You use all the strength in your shoulder to tackle open the Maidenvault doors. As they swing outwards you turn around to see Ser Mills has started walking towards you, slightly confused.

He's nowhere close enough to the doors yet though. Good. You slam the tall, carved double doors shut behind you with him still inside and slide the sword you're carrying in between the handles.

You back away a few feet from the doors and watch them shake as he tries to open them. “The fokk?” he utters, attempting to open them again more forcefully this time.

Then he begins shaking the doors violently. “Oi! You CUNT when I get out of here . . .”

The end of his threat is too muffled for you to hear as you continue moving forward.

You search around the keep listening to and sometimes glancing upon the various fights and skirmishes occurring all around the Red Keep. Lannister guards in red fighting men in black and yellow or green and gold.

Tyrell and Baratheon colors. It's hard to tell in the dead of night which side has more men or which side is winning – and you think it best if you don't stick around to find out.

>Head to the Tower of the Hand
>Head to Maegor's Holdfast where the royal apartments are
>Head to the Great Hall where the Iron Throne is
>Head to The White Sword Tower where the Kingsguard live
>Something else? (write-in)

>>484895
>Head to Maegor's Holdfast where the royal apartments are
Focus on getting Cersei and kids out. Kingsguard probably already knows.

>>484895
>Head to Maegor's Holdfast where the royal apartments are

>>484895
>Head to Maegor's Holdfast where the royal apartments are
Seems like the sensible choice, Cersei can get the Kingsguard for us if need be

>>484895
>Head to Maegor's Holdfast where the royal apartments are

>>484895
>Head to Maegor's Holdfast where the royal apartments are
Gotta secure the goods

Writing!

>>484895
>Head to Maegor's Holdfast where the royal apartments are

>>484940
Lies and propaganda

File: Loras Tyrell.png (162 KB, 300x297)

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You trek your way towards Maegor's Holdfast – a castle-within-a-castle.

Behind twelve feet thick walls and a dry moat lined with a bed of formidable iron spikes. The drawbridge that spans the moat is thankfully still lowered, allowing you to cross.. Although a Kingsguard member usually watches the bridge and currently its barren of any living or deceased bodies.

You take your chance to stalk into the interior, through the great doors of the holdfast.

Making your way down the hallways, you follow the sounds and noises of conflict towards where you believe the royal apartments are held.

After enough traveling over plush carpets that tickle your toes and past extravagant tapestries which draw your eyes to their opulence, you happen upon a very . . . interesting but also terrifying scene.

You quickly duck back around the corner and peek out. Thankfully none of the living legends see you.

Ser Loras Tyrell stands beside Ser Barristan the Bold. Further down the hall facing them is Ser Jaime Lannister and Sandor Clegane.

A few dead Tyrell guards lie dead betwixt the two groups of men.

Clegane has his sword out and it is bathed in the blood of Reach men. Jaime has his own gilded longsword out as well – armored in his golden plate. Although his left arm is still in a sling from his injury a few weeks prior to The Mountain.

“Please, Ser Jaime,” Loras pleads. “Stand down. I don't wish to –”

“To what?!” The Kingslayer asks, rhetorically.

Loras sighs. “You are still wounded from saving my life. It would not be honorable to slay you as you are.”

“It would not be wise either. You've heard of the Reynes of Castamere? My father will rip every rose from your GARDEN if I perish. You know that. So you stand down.”

“I promise you,” Loras continues. “No harm shall come to you or the royal family.”

“I am of the Kingsguard,” Jaime replies. “I shall protect the Crown Prince and the Queen. As should you, Ser Barristan!” He takes a pointed look at the Lord Commander, his eyes projecting hatred at the betrayal.

Barristan the Bold sighs out, the wear of his old age apparent in this one moment. He gestures with a rolled up scroll of parchment – a paper shield. “The King's words, Ser Jaime. He names Eddard Stark the Lord Regent and Protector of the Realm until King Joffrey comes of age. We merely seek to enact King Robert's final decree.”

File: Barristan the Bold.jpg (7 KB, 275x183)

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Jaime smiles, gesturing between the two men facing him with an outstretched sword. “And yet, Lord Stark isn't the one taking the throne room. I see stags and roses before me – no [blure]wolves[/blue]. Did you confuse Renly with Eddard, Ser Barristan? Your eyesight must be deteriorating in your winter years, Commander.”

“We are merely preempting your sister's attempt to wrest control of the Kingdom from the rightful ruler,” Loras qualifies. “By now the rookery has already sent a letter to Dragonstone informing Lord Eddard of his new position. Renly will hold the throne for him until his return. No longer than a few weeks!”

Jaime frowns mockingly. “Merely preempting . . . ? Slaughtering our men and attempting to imprison the royal family for a supposed crime she has yet to commit?”

“You are the one who ordered your men to resist,” Loras argues.

“Resist treason, yes. I did order that.”

“Please, Jaime. Some may mock your moniker, but I do not wish to slay a brother-in-arms,” Ser Barristan entreats.

“Well do not fret, Ser Barristan,” Jaime falsely consoles. “I'll be the one forced to suffer that burden.”

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Alright! A lot of things are about to go down right now.

What's the plan here, Mira?

>Convince Ser Barristan to stand down
>Convince Ser Jaime to stand down
>Shoot Loras in the back of his twink fucking head
>Lie through your fucking teeth
>Something else? (write-in)

>>485181
I can't see anyway of doing anything without giving up Mira's 'I'm just a ordinary, unimportant handmaiden' role.

Now I'm Playing pokemon go.

next update in a few hours at the least.

>>485181
Step in between the two groups to buy time. These faggots probably won't hit a woman.

>>485181
What do we currently have in our inventory?

>>485181
>Convince Ser Jaime to stand down
Ser Jamie there a more of them on the way. If we do not yield we will eventually be over run.

If they touch the royals your father will put the roses to the torch. The more we resist the worse this looks.

How about this. We stand down if instead of holding us here the royals return to Casterly Rock.

Surly no one here can object unless there is another motive

>>485181
>Just walk away
Let's not blow our cover over this, we know that Will and Jaime were somewhat close and we don't know how much he knows about our role

>>485193

Crossbow (1 bolt)

Poison in a perfume bottle

That's pretty much it

>>485196
gets my vote

>>485181
>>485196
Thirding

>>485196
Do this, no point in blowing our cover.

>>485196
I'll agree to this ONLY if we don't walk away. We need to see the outcome of this from the shadows and file that information away for later.

>>485221
I can agree to that

>>485221
Do this as well, we need to see how this goes.

renly a shiet, stannis is the rightful ruler

Alright, since it was already expressed earlier as an interest and people are talking about it. I'll say the crossbow bolt is poisoned. You had the time to do so.

>>485221
Supporting.
Get ready, shit goes down we might have to shoot somebody

>>485181
>>Shoot Loras in the back of his twink fucking head
And then tell JamJam that Mills is with them and in full plate. (He did win the melee wearing no armour after all.)
I don't see how this will blow our cover, just say that you are a capable handmaiden come to check up on your lady. If they asked you picked up the crossbow on the way, some guy died without having the chance to fire it. Oh by the way, can one of you big strong men reload this thing for me *bats eyelashes*.

>>485196
+1

>>485336
We don't know Mira's stats, she might have a -30 malus on aiming rolls for all we know

Or we'd get a nat 1 and hit Jaime straight in his eye

>>485406
I was thinking walk right up behind them.

Rolled 3 (1d6)

>>485449

Rolled 6 (1d12)

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>485460

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>485181
Shoot that fucking twink, his death won't effect westeros anyways and Mira knows it

>>485221
This please trickered

>>485196
masturbate furiously.

(I finally managed to get a post in lol)

>>485499
This reasoning could've been sound before. Now that the timeline has gone fuck all, killing Loras might, and probably will, start a disastrous war between Lannisters and Tyrells.
And even if seeing those cunts gut each other would be an immense pleasure for us, it's too risky a bet for Mira IC

>>485538
Jaime's gonna die if we don't do shit and as a Lannister supporter she can't let that happen. Jaime is also the only person who can control Cersei on her worst

>>485194
Convince jaime stand down

>>485196
>>485202
>>485215
>>485218
>>485221

Don't interfere

>>485336
>>485499

Shoot Loras

Rolled 98, 3 = 101 (2d100)

Rolled 62, 45 = 107 (2d100)

Rolled 7, 55 = 62 (2d100)

>>485548

>>485181
>Shoot Loras in the back of his twink fucking head
If we don't let Cersei wrest control of the crown we lose our influence AND the predetermined timeline slips further away.

This is the best answer, dam the consequences

>>485562
This attack has happened, the timeline is buggered

>>485564
Still, without Cersei in power we're literally a useless turd because the timeline has gone full retard

>>485567
But thats in perspective of Mira.

>>485574
And aren't we playing as her?

>>485580
Mira is beyond fucked.

Tips Mills Fan Fedora

>>485582
Wew lad, at the fucking least you shouldn't pick suicidal options

File: Sandor Clegane Fighting.jpg (66 KB, 350x434)

66 KB JPG

“So there is no chance of preventing further bloodshed tonight?” Loras asks, tone full of regret.

“Oh, there is.” Jaime replies. “Throw down your weapons and you'll both be executed tomorrow.”

Loras sighs at Jaime's continued jests. He draws his blade – the grip is white leather with a rose of alabaster for the pommel.

Ser Barristan draws his own blade, a much simpler affair.

Jaime scoffs, while Sandor lowers his dog's head helmet.

God, while one part of you is freaking out the other is practically drooling. This is pure cheesecake.

Seconds of silence pass as the four of them tense. The hallway is not wide. No more than two armored men of their caliber could stand abreast. And in a sword fight, it will just become even more cramped.

The men eye each other with the calculated stare of men used to battle and relying on taking in as much information as possible to survive.

The silent, tense atmosphere is cut like a knife through butter by one simple, seemingly benign action.

Jaime whistles.

Clegane charges forward – the largest man among them. Loras raises his sword to block, but with the difference in strength and size it matters little.

The parry is rebuffed and Loras's sword knocked aside by the monstrously huge man. The burned dog proceeds to shoulder check Loras into the wall. The Hound brings a gauntleted fist up and bashes him in the mouth, turning it into a red ruin as a few sparkling white teeth go flying and scatter across the marbled floor. Before another punch or a pulled dagger can end the Knight Of Flower's life, Barristan engages and draws The Hound's attention.

Their swords clash, but Barristan's momentum is halted completely by the wall that is the smaller of the Clegane brothers. Loras falls to his knees, coughing up blood and Jaime moves forward to capitalize on the younger man's weakness.

Jaime comes forward to slice Loras's head from his neck, but the Knight of Flowers has the instincts of a master soldier. Even at his weakest, when in so much pain, he manages to bring his sword up and block the one-handed attack. Loras's blade scrapes against Jaime's as he Rises up in a lunge with an underhanded cut. Knocking The Kinglsayer's blade high, he brings hisweapons back around and slams the flat of the blade into Jaime's wounded left arm. The golden-haired knight winces. He staggers back and attempts to counter. But his blade is once again knocked to the side and is rewarded once more with Loras bashing the broken limb with his flamboyant weapon.

Clegane pushes Ser Barristan back and you recoil slightly as sparks fly from the subsequent clashes of steel. The older knight is forced to retreat as Clegane presses his advantages – mainly those of youth, strength and size. Their skills on par as Barristan parries every deadly swing with the efficiency of a man who knows skill is the only thing keeping him relevant in a sea of much younger combatants.

File: Sandor Clegane 4.jpg (7 KB, 208x242)

7 KB JPG

Jaime is disarmed easily, still reeling from his weakness being exploited twice in a row so quickly. Knocked off-balance, Jaime falls upon his ass and reaches for a dagger at his hips with his good hand. Loras's boot comes down upon the fingers with a sickening crunch. As Jaime wails, Loras shifts his metal shoe to rest painfully on Jaime's wrist – causing him to let go of the dagger for Loras to swat aside with his sword.

You squeak as a kick from Clegane sends Barristan tumbling so far backwards he passes the corner you're huddling behind with your crossbow.

You lock eyes with the older knight and that momentary distraction confuses The Lord Commander of the Kingsguard just long enough for the Hound to slam a blow into his side.

Barristan crumples – not even stabbed by the Hound's deadly weapon. The sheer force of such a blow reverberates off his white plate and knocks the wind out of the old man, perhaps even breaking a rib. Barristan loses his grip upon his sword as he falls. The Hound strides right by you, noticing your presence instantly, but his hateful stare dares you to interfere.

You definitely don't dare.

His enemy now prone, Sandor raises his sword in preparation for the killing blow – a stab right through the visor of the defeated kingsguard.

“Stop!” Loras shouts the command. The Hound spares a moment to glance behind him. The tip of Loras's sword pressed right against Jaime's neck. Loras spits out a glob of blood from his fucked up mouth. “Yield or your master dies.”

“Kill them both Cle– AHHH” Jaime's seething order is cut off prematurely by Loras grinding his boot into Jaime's wrist.

Sandor looks back to Barristan. Perhaps Barristan could have exploited the lapse in the Hound's attention, but he doesn't. Maybe such a move would have been dishonorable. Or maybe his age and the wounds he recently suffered have caught up to him. You can't tell and you don't really care. All that matters is that he lies there, defenseless, shaking and mute.

Sandor weighs the dilemma over in his head.

“We have the Red Keep by now,” Loras reasons with the giant. “You kill us, the Kingslayer dies and so do you the moment you step out of the holdfast. You yield now and Lord Tywin rewards you for your loyalty once he gets his son back.”

Sandor chews his lip. He breathes out, the exhaustion of the melee catching up to him. Sandor's eyes roam the bend in the hallway until they fall upon you, still hidden round the corner.

Loras can only see the back of Sandor's head. But you – you get to see his face. His raised eyebrows. The subtle nod of his head behind him. The questioning stare in his eyes as he looks from your face to your crossbow and then back up to your eyes.

“THROW DOWN YOUR BLADE CLEGANE!” Loras's shout is shrill in its demand, the lull of indecision angering him.

>Shake your head furiously
>Shoot Loras Tyrell
>Something else? (write-in)

>>485592
>>Shoot Loras Tyrell
she has to

>>485592
>Shoot Loras Tyrell
Fuck you twink