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File: DragonQuest2.jpg (9 KB, 299x169)
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Character Sheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/edit

Twitter: QuestingQM

Last time on EDQ, we decided to go to Greece, most specifically Sparta. With the help of Kryos the friendly minotaur scholar, Flames, our trusty second head and also newly appointed dungeon master for a new D&D campaign, and Khorne as you know and love him, taking up residence in Flames head.
Oh, and we're trying to conquer Greece, but instead of stumping the people living there, we have decided to be more sneaky about it.

Your crude merchant marine vessel closes up to the shore of Sparta, and the ship docks into a wooden platform, barely used, with a fishing boat on the other side of it, and two fishermen talking, who flee as your ship docks... You get out of the ship, alongside Kryos. For reasons, you have decided to use your dragonblood form, and Kryos towers over you.

"...It's good being back in Sparta again."

"I bet. Would you care if I asked why those two men fled?" you say as the two of you get off the ramp.

"Most likely helots. I wouldn't pay too much attention to them."

"Helots?"

"Slaves, everyone else who isn't a soldier, basically." You turn around, and see your ship begin to leave the crude docks.

"Right. You Spartans are still doing that then?"

"Yes, even if the other city states complain about it."

"Ah. Why were the helots running then?"

"Probably because I'm a minotaur, why?"

"...Erh, why would they run just because you're a minotaur?"

"Right, I forgot you don't know the Spartan tradition."

"Spartan Tradition?"

"It's rather crude. Essentially if a helot comes across a Minotaur without paying tribute for his noble protection, then the Helot will become the Minotaur's property or simply killed. That's what the court of law says, anyways."

Actions.

>...If only I could implement that whenever someone saw me, I'd never run out of butter and other associated foods.
>Why haven't the other city-states stopped this travesty?
>Oh sweet, maybe we can get some slaves if we surprise them?
>I must say, you Spartans are an interesting lot.
>...Would I be wrong in assuming you don't have any slaves and find this morally questionable?
>...So, how exactly does this not get abused?
>Why would they flee just because they became someone else's property? That could be a good thing depending on their owner.
>Write-In
>>
>>459708
>...So, how exactly does this not get abused?
>Why would they flee just because they became someone else's property? That could be a good thing depending on their owner.
>>
>>459708
>...So, how exactly does this not get abused?
>>
>>459708
>...So, how exactly does this not get abused?
>Why would they flee just because they became someone else's property? That could be a good thing depending on their owner.

What about the egg? Where is it and how much longer until it hatches?
>>
"So how exactly doesn't this get abused?"

"Well, unless your high up in politics, there's a set number of Helots you can have, usually twenty."

"Twenty?"

"Enough to operate a farm, basically."

"...Right. So why would they flee just because they just become someone else's property? That could be a good thing depending on the owner."

"Because if your master has over twenty other helots, you either get sold overseas, used as target practice, or forced into backbreaking labor in the mines."

"...Sounds a little harsh."

"It is, of course."

The two of you step off the makeshift wooden dock into the Spartan countryside, which is hilly, and unlike most lands, lacking farmland.

"So, which way are we supposed to go?"

"A little southward, from what the captain told us."

"Right."

Actions.

>Just walk to Sparta.
>...So, Kryos... How exactly does being a scholar among the Spartans work out?
>I remember reading how the Spartans are famous for their warrior culture. Is it still around?
>Sounds like Minotaurs are treated better here in Sparta then the rest of the Greek city states.
>So, how wealthy is Sparta?
>...Would you mind if I asked if you owned any helots?
>...When I take over, I'll make sure to free or enslave benevolently the helots.
>Where exactly do the helots come from?
>Write-In
>>
>>459748
>Sounds like Minotaurs are treated better here in Sparta then the rest of the Greek city states.
>>
>>459748
>I remember reading how the Spartans are famous for their warrior culture. Is it still around?
>Where exactly do the helots come from?
>>
"Sounds like Minotaurs are treated better here in Sparta then the rest of the city states."

"It's a warrior culture, what can you expect? Most minotaurs leave to be mercenaries, keep in mind, and minotaurs cannot hold public office, save in Athens. And if you do manage to get a office in Athens... Well, let's just say the word eunuch comes to mind."

"...Eunuch?"

"Eunuch."

"Why?"

"Because at that point you're someone else's property, so you don't even get the benefits of holding the office. It's a clever scheme, but Minotaurs are very rarely elected."

"...Damn. So Spartan Minotaurs are treated much better here?"

"Oh yeah."

"Right. I remember reading how the Spartans are famous for their warrior culture. Is it still around?"

"Sure is, but most Spartans are mercenaries or standing army, so very few actual Spartans live in Sparta. Not to mention that unlike the rest of the Greek city states, Spartans cannot get enough of Rome. So keep that in mind."

"Oh. Huh. So where exactly do the helots come from?"

"Mostly bought from the Caliphate in Egypt, the British, or occasionally from Sweden."

Actions

>...But I never legalized slavery, it was just MY thing.
>I never really thought there were slaves that I didn't own in my empire.
>Huh. Well, the more you know.
>...Where exactly do the Swedish slaves come from?
>...I fucking love Rome. I think I and Sparta will get along.
>Well, I have a different question... (Specify)
>Just continue walking to Sparta.
>Write-In
>>
>>459777
>...Where exactly do the Swedish slaves come from?


If they are illegally slaved, so help me god...
>>
>>459777
>...I fucking love Rome. I think I and Sparta will get along.

Roma Invicta!
>>
>>459777
>...Where exactly do the Swedish slaves come from?
>>
"...Where exactly do the Swedish slaves come from?"

"...Well, that depends. Quite a few are people who can't afford to pay their taxes, so they become willing slaves to someone else in order to dodge taxation. Some are just homeless and poor so they often sign up for it as well, and quite a few slaves are bought from Spain and England. Recently, I think the draft has got more people to become slaves in order to avoid it."

Actions.

>...Well, that should be illegal.
>...So people are becoming slaves in order to dodge taxation and drafting?
>...That shouldn't stop them from paying taxes and being drafted!
>Well, I have no problem with it then.
>Well, let's go back to Sparta, shall we?
>Write-In
>>
>>459795
>...So people are becoming slaves in order to dodge taxation and drafting?
>>
>>459795
>...So people are becoming slaves in order to dodge taxation and drafting?
>Well, I have no problem with it then.

If they're slaves to Greeks then at least they aren't leaching off of the Swedish system.
>>
"So people are becoming slaves in order to dodge taxation and drafting?"

"I believe so."

"...Ah."

"Anyways, I think we're be in Sparta at least in an hour."

"Yeah."

"So, did you hear the news?"

"What?"

"Your wife apparently became a dragon overnight, ate the nobility, and proceeded to gulf down an entire feast worth of food, and the palace is apparently surrounded in snow."

Actions.

>You forgot the part where she laid an egg.
>...Wait, it's surrounded in snow now?
>Yeah, I might of given her some dragon mutagen. How cool is that?
>Right. Why don't we go back to talking about Sparta?
>Timeskip to arriving in Sparta.
>Write-In
>>
>>459821
>Yeah, I might of given her some dragon mutagen. How cool is that?
>>
"Yeah, I might of given her some dragon mutagen. How cool is that?"

"...That's a thing?"

"It is indeed."

"...Huh. That's remarkable."

"Of course it is, it's turning a primal mammal into a true reptillian master race... No offense."

"Erh, none taken?"

A few minutes go by of the two of you walking beside a road, when Kryos says something.

"Anyways, how exactly do you feel about Rome?"

Actions.

>...I fucking love Rome, why?
>It was great when it was a republic, in my opinion.
>Better as an empire, totally.
>...Byzantine Empire is best Empire.
>I don't particularly care about it, to be honest.
>I don't really like Rome.
>Why are you asking?
>>
>>459835
>...I fucking love Rome, why?
>>
>>459835
>...I fucking love Rome, why?
>>
"I fucking love Rome. Why are you asking?"

"Good, because Spartans like claiming they're the "Fathers of Rome", so that part about the plebian insult doesn't apply here."

"Oh, right."

The two of you eventually see a city in the distance, a rather large one, to be honest. A while into the distance, you see what seems to be a shanty town, and as you look closely on the hills surrounding the city, is what seems to be silts and the occasional tower coming out of it.

Actions.

>...So, why don't we introduce ourselves to the Archonate here?
>...I kind of want to look around the city, just to get a view of it myself.
>...Something tells me my Mom would like these guys.
>So, why don't you tell me a little about the races that inhabit Sparta?
>What's with those hills with the towers coming out of them?
>Write-In
>>
>>459856
>So, why don't you tell me a little about the races that inhabit Sparta?
>>
>>459856
>So, why don't you tell me a little about the races that inhabit Sparta?

QM, are you a history buff at all?
>>
>>459861
Why do you ask?

"So, why don't you tell me about the races that inhabit Sparta?"

"Ah. Well, besides the humans and minotaurs, there's of course the cobalds, inventors of the famous Spartan Phalanx, and if you look closely at those hills, amazing engineers."

"...Cobalds?"

"Yes. By the Statue of Zeus, which isn't too far away from here, is a small tribe of centaurs who are said to descend from Agrius."

"...Agrius?"

"He's a centaur that Hercules himself fought with."

"Ah."

"But as far as I remember, that's it for Sparta."

Actions.

>Centaurs, eh?
>What the fuck is a Cobold?
>That's it? I was expecting more.
>Let's just enter the city, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>459872
>Let's just enter the city, alright?
>>
>>459872
>Let's just enter the city, alright?
Mainly because we're talking about stuff like Spartans potentially founding Rome.
>>
>>459883
Well, I wouldn't put myself on /his/ level, but I think I have a good knowledge of it.

The two of you enter the city, and as you enter through one of the roads, you see what seems to be a checkpoint.

"...So, just follow my lead, alright?"

"Right."

The two of you go up to the checkpoint, where armed guards are patrolling, dressed in a mixture of a army uniform similar to what the Americans commonly wear, but with helmets and armor more common to what a hoplite would wear. In front of the checkpoint is a somewhat long line of people waiting in front of a booth.

"So, just answer all of their questions and you should get past unmolested, alright? All you need to do is show them your passport."

Actions.

>Got it.
>...I'm a fucking dragon, I shouldn't have to deal with this.
>...Uh... What if I don't have a passport?
>Could we just sneak around? I have a bad time with immigration.
>Can we just demand to go to where the Archonate is?
>...Listen, you're the biggest guy here. Why don't you just charge past them so I can sneak in?
>Write-In
>>
>>459897
>...Uh... What if I don't have a passport?
>Could we just sneak around? I have a bad time with immigration.

Don't worry. Half of /his/ is just shitposting about a guy named Stirner or about Vikings.
>>
>>459897
>...I'm a fucking dragon, I shouldn't have to deal with this.
>>
>>459909
I don't know who the fuck is Stirner, but Vikings are cool, I guess.

"...Uh... What if I don't have a passport?"

"...You fucking forgot a passport? How?"

"...I never have had one in the first place."

"...Well. Great. You don't have any photos or anything?"

"No, not really."

"...Shit."

"Could we just sneak around?"

"Yeah, well that's easier said then done. There's a wall to keep illegals out, you know."

"What? Let me guess, some guy with a last name sounding like... I don't know... Trump or something built it?"

"...Erh, why are you talking about Fred Trump's newborn son?"

"...Who the hell is Fred Trump?"

Kryos sighs, and shakes his head.

"Alright, listen... I doubt we can climb that wall without being seen, so we're going to have to nick someone of their passport or something."

Actions.

>...Nah, I can climb it. It's fine.
>You go on in, I'll find a way through.
>Oh, just mug someone for their passport? That should be easy enough.
>...Shapeshift? Shapeshift.
>Write-In
>>
>>459924
>...Shapeshift? Shapeshift.
>>
>>459924
>Write-In
I could just burrow to the other side, fences stop people going over not under them
>>
>>459924
Burrow under the wall.
>>
"Well... I'll see you then. I'll just be going down under."

"...Down under?"

"I can burrow under it."

"...Right, well, I'll see you then."

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you can burrow undetected to the other side.
>>
Rolled 16 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>459945
>>
Rolled 11 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>459945
>>
Rolled 6 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>459945
Moleman go.
>>
16+3=19

Good Success!

You burrow to the other side of the wall with ease, and you don't think you were detected at all, hell you did it in broad daylight as well.

Of course, you sense there's five places you could emerge in.

Choices.

>A basement, chances are someone's in the home, but you might be able to sneak out, and you won't really cause a scene.
>Emerge somewhere on a road. You'll cause a scene, but at least you won't be breaking and entering.
>Try to emerge where the checkpoint was. You'll find Kryos easy peasy, but you might tip the guards off or worse, end up on the other side.
>...For some reason, you can sense plenty of humans in a building, a lot more then average. This has slightly peaked your interest.
>Maybe you can tunnel into the sewer.
>...Who said you were going to emerge? You should just stay underground for a while.
>Write-In
>>
>>459966
>Try to emerge where the checkpoint was. You'll find Kryos easy peasy, but you might tip the guards off or worse, end up on the other side.
>>
>>459966
>A basement, chances are someone's in the home, but you might be able to sneak out, and you won't really cause a scene.
>>
>>459966
>>...For some reason, you can sense plenty of humans in a building, a lot more then average. This has slightly peaked your interest.
What could go wrong?
>>
Going to wait ten more minutes anons.
>>
>>459973
Switching to this.
>>
You decide to emerge in a building, and as you go towards the surface, you find yourself in what seems to be a... Closet. Convenient! Of course, you shrink down with your half-dragon form, as it's rather small for you. Outside you hear talking and something similar to that of a party.

Actions.

>...Eh, might as well go human. You've got to blend in after all.
>...Maybe a change of clothes might help. A business suit might not work here.
>Go outside, who cares what you look like?
>...Go outside, and make sure to grow a little.
>Shapeshift into your dragon form, but make sure it's the smallest possible size, being fifteen feet.
>Send Smaug out to scout! (Summoning)
>Write-In
>>
>>459988
>...Eh, might as well go human. You've got to blend in after all.
>>
>>459988
>Go outside, who cares what you look like?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Human
2=Who cares?
>>
You shift down into your human form, is there any other preparation you want to do?

Actions.

>Nah, just go outside.
>...Adjust your tie and go outside.
>Send Smaug to scout. (Summoning.)
>Just make sure your human form is a little bigger then usual.
>A change of clothes? You see some servant clothes you can wear.
>Write-In
>>
>>460012
>A change of clothes? You see some servant clothes you can wear.
>>
>>460012
>...Adjust your tie and go outside.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Change Clothes.
2=Adjust Tie
>>
You adjust your tie and open the door to head outside, where it seems a large gathering of people are, in what seems to be an auditorium. Your suit is somewhat out of place since most people here seem to be wearing togas, and seems like many people here are simply watching the stage while servants bring them wine and bread.

Actions.

>...You know, you should probably talk to someone on what's going on.
>...Sneak out of here.
>Sit down, what exactly are they going to watch?
>Write-In
>>
>>460022
>>...You know, you should probably talk to someone on what's going on.
>>
You approach one of the patrons and go up to them to talk.

"...Sorry, I'm late. My servants couldn't brief me on what exactly is going on here."

"Oh, don't worry, sometimes my helots do a similar thing. Well, pleased to meet you. My name and rank is Antistratigos Demodocus Levas."

"...Erh... Antistratigos?"

It takes you a little bit to translate the word, but eventually it comes to you as a Lieutenant General.

"Of course! Most millitary minds have gathered here today!"

"...For what, exactly?"

"...Right, well we're preparing to discuss on how exactly we should retake Cairo from the Caliphate, or possibly take care of Epirus. Command was vague on it."

"Oh, really?"

"Of course, we were briefed on it this morning, all of the command staff was invited."

"Oh, right!"

"Anyways, you sound Swedish... And I don't think I saw you in the High Marshal's command staff."

Actions.

>...I'm not, I was just... Taking a tour?
>Oh, I'm his... Sublieutenant Commander? (Charisma, HARD)
>I was invited here by the General himself. (Charisma)
>...I'm a mercenary from Sweden, of course.
>O-oh. I best be going now, shouldn't I?
>Would you mind if I sat next to you?
>How do I sound Swedish?
>Write-In
>>
>>460032
>I was invited here by the General himself. (Charisma)
>...I'm a mercenary from Sweden, of course.
Let's help them out, yeah?
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7
>>
Rolled 5 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>460099
>>
>>460116
Since all the other anons are asleep. I'll let you roll two more times.
>>
Rolled 14 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>460099
>>
>>460122
Can I still roll one extra?
>>
14+7=21

Minor Success!

"Oh, I was invited here by the General himself... I'm also a mercenary from Sweden."

"Ah, I've heard you Swedes have terrible commanders, no offense."

"...None taken..." you growl out.

"Well, it should be starting soon, so you should grab a seat, eh?"

Actions.

>...Well, I think Renexizious is probably the best commander of all time, maybe better then Alexander the Great.
>...Their incompetent commanders are just because of one guy called Claw...
>...Sure, take a seat next to this guy.
>...Sit in the front row.
>...Sneak out of this place.
>Write-In
>>
>>460128
>...Sure, take a seat next to this guy.
>>
You take a seat next to the man, and a servant brings over some bread and wine.

"Thank you, Molyneux, my friend here is probably hungry!"

The servant nods his hand and gives you a small plate of bread and a goblet of wine.

"...Do you have any butter to go with this?"

"The bread is already buttered, sir."

"I know that. I was hoping you could bring me some more."

The servant sighs and goes away, presumably to get you some more butter.

"So, how long will it be until it starts?"

"Well, about fifteen minutes."

"Ah."

Actions.

>...For a Spartan, you seem rather friendly.
>...Would anyone protest if I brought in my lieutenant who happened to be a minotaur?
>So, erh... I'm rather new to Sparta. Why exactly are we going to war with someone else?
>...What exactly are the Swedish commanders incompetent in?
>Where exactly did you get that servant from?
>Write-In
>>
>>460139
>So, erh... I'm rather new to Sparta. Why exactly are we going to war with someone else?
>>
"...So, I'm rather new to Sparta... Why exactly are we going to war with someone else?"

"...Well, that might be a little classified. Sorry, but I cannot tell you anything."

"...So you can't tell me why we're going to war?"

"Your a mercenari, you do not need a reason besides money."

Actions.

>...Come on, you said it yourself, we're friends aren't we? (Charisma, HARD)
>...I'm much more then a mercenary. Trust me, you wouldn't want to anger me. (Intimidation, HARD)
>Your right, I don't.
>Change the topic.
>Pheromone?
>Write-In
>>
>>460154
>>...Come on, you said it yourself, we're friends aren't we? (Charisma, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7
>>
Rolled 4 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>460165
>>
Rolled 3 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>460165
>>
Rolled 15 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>460165
>>
15+7=22

Success!

"Come on, you said it yourself, we're friends aren't we?"

"...Well, just don't tell anyone else, alright?"

"Right."

"Well, the Archon wants to get rid of the Archon of Alexandria, and getting a foothold in Africa would help him... Not to mention I think he also wants to take care of Epirus because he would like a foothold on the mainland."

"Ah."

Actions.

>...Is there any rumors about the Archon having a minotaur for a daughter?
>...Why does he want a better navy?
>Thank you for telling me this.
>Why does he want to take care of the Archonate of Alexandria?
>Write-In
>>
>>460198
> i heard the alexandrian had a daughter?
>>
"...I heard the Alexandrian one had a daughter."

"Yes, though I don't know why he tried to hide it. Some say she suffers from Leprosy, or a part of a escalation, if you know what I mean, between the Alexandrian and one of the Caliph's daughters in the south."

"...What exactly is the Alexandrian Archon like?"

"Well, he was one of those adventuring lot. Claims he traveled the world, that sort of thing."

"Ah."

"Yeah, from what I hear he's an embarrassment to his family in Athens."

"Oh, why?"

"He got drunk, went into the the renovation site of the Library of Alexandria, burned it down, then proceeded to piss on it, proceeded to not only try to fight his own guard, but then hijacked a ship carrying wine, crash landed it into Athens, and drunkingly came off it waving a old sword and tried to usurp the Despot, and of course, failed. He spent four days in prison screaming about reuniting Alexander's Empire." He says all of this, shocked and without hesitation.

Actions.

>...Erh, how old is he?
>...Holy fuck, that's the most stupid thing I think I have ever heard.
>How long ago was this?
>...Why the fuck did he do that?
>Are all the Archons like that?
>...Yeah, is there any rumors about his daughter being a minotaur?
>Write-In
>>
>>460251
>...Holy fuck, that's the most stupid thing I think I have ever heard.
>How long ago was this?
>>
>>460251
Honestly that sounds like a great night out, maybe I'll switch sides.
>>
>>460251
>...Holy fuck, that's the most stupid thing I think I have ever heard.
>...Erh, how old is he?
>Are all the Archons like that?
>>
"Holy fuck, that's the most stupid thing I think I have ever heard."

"Yeah, he was lucky not to be disowned outright."

"...How old is he, and how long ago was this?"

"He's about sixty now, Despot ordered his legs permanently broken and he was blinded for doing what he did... I think he did it about twenty years ago."

"...Are all the Archons like that?"

"No, thank the gods they aren't."

Actions.

>...What exactly is the Spartan Archon like?
>Erh... Do you think the Alexandrian Archon has a minotaur for a daughter?
>Does the Spartan Archon have a daughter?
>...Does the Crete Archon also have a daughter?
>Just wait for the assembly to begin.
>Write-In
>>
>>460322
>...What exactly is the Spartan Archon like?
>Does the Spartan Archon have a daughter?
>>
"What exactly is the Spartan Archon like?"

"He's rather... Interesting."

"Interesting? Interesting in what way?"

"Erh, from the General I hear that he's rather calm and collected, and rather unmanly."

"...Unmanly?"

"Yeah. I don't know why though. They say that earlier in his youth he beat four lions to death with nothing more then a knife and a stick."

"Huh. Anyways, does he have a daughter?"

"Yeah, she isn't really seen at court though, some say she shares her father's bravery when he was younger, and he commonly orders books for her."

Actions.

>Let me guess, the Archonate of Crete also has a daughter?
>Why are these daughters never seen at court?
>...Where exactly does the Archon live, anyways?
>Wait for the assembly to begin.
>Write-in
>>
>>460339
>Wait for the assembly to begin.
>>
>>460339
>unmanly
I swear if Slaanesh got here before us
>Daughters not at court
>>
>>460339
>Wait for the assembly to begin.
>>
You decide to wait until the assembly starts...

You have a few things you could do.

>...No, avoid suspicion and wait it out.
>...See if you can't get them to attack Epirus. (Charisma, HARD)
>See if you can't get them to attack the Egyptian Caliph. (Charisma, HARD)
>See if you can't get them to attack someone else... (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>...See if you can't learn about the Spartan military forces. (Intelligence, can be multi-tasked to Flame.)
>See if you can't learn about Eprius and the Caliph's military forces. (Intelligence, HARD, can be multi-tasked to Flame)
>...Maybe you could propose them to try to align towards Renexizious... (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>460366
>...See if you can't learn about the Spartan military forces. (Intelligence, can be multi-tasked to Flame.)
>>
Waiting ten more minutes
>>
>>460366
>>...Maybe you could propose them to try to align towards Renexizious... (Charisma, VERY HARD)
screw it
>>
>>460387
>>460368
Lets be super cool biased swedish merc.
>>
>>460366
>...See if you can't learn about the Spartan military forces. (Intelligence, can be multi-tasked to Flame.)

Our armed forces is made up of two groups, our redshirts and our elite followers (like claw). It would be advisable to improve our armed forces using the methods of a truly militaristic society.
>>
>>460406
Tbqh we should remove Claw as a military commander. He's autistic af and he was responsible for losing a million men in Constantinople. He makes a mockery of Sweden and its armed forces.
>>
>>460366
>See if you can't learn about Eprius and the Caliph's military forces. (Intelligence, HARD, can be multi-tasked to Flame)

I hereby curse this thread. May a flight of Nat 1's beat thee to thy rest.
>>
>>460410
You say that like it failed to capture the objective. We can lose a million men if we do some of the projects I have in mind, seeing as how I want to develop our nations industry and agriculture to the point our population is just given as 2.3N+N.
>>
>>460416
To quote a Greek army commander.
>"Ah, I've heard you Swedes have terrible commanders..."

Clearly this means that Sweden does not have the best military reputable and this is due to Claws command during the battle of Constantinople. If we were to reorganize the army we would need to be selective so that millions of men don't die during every act therefore making widen look like some incompetent pushover.
>>
>>460421
>therefore making widen look like some incompetent pushover.

I meant to say Sweden instead of widen.
>>
>>460421
Being seen as incompetent isn't a bad thing. Having a reputable army isn't going to make your troops better, I mean the french had one of the most, famously, veteran armies in the world just before WW 2. Today we talk about them having bugger all ability in combat, because they were shown to be unready for the coming war and because they surrendered so their precious capital wouldn't get bombed to shit. Meanwhile in Britain, London is on fire, bombed and full of Americans.
>>
Sorry anons, but I'm being held at knifepoint by a friend to see Clinton's America thanks to piracy, so I might be off in a few hours... I can't believe the government gives out butter knife licenses so easily...

Anyways, roll me a 1d20+6.
>>
Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>460432
RIP
>>
Rolled 1 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>460432
It's a conspiracy the butter is getting revenge for all those times it's been fed to Dragons!
>>
Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>460432
God dammit OP, don't mention her. It pisses off the dice gods.
>>
>>460439
damn sorry i forgot my no rolling policy
>>
File: 1_10.gif (1.97 MB, 380x285)
1.97 MB
1.97 MB GIF
>>460439
HOLY SHIT ANTI CAN CURSE THREADS WITH ONES!

Use Barbaric anons?
>>
>>460442
YES

Anti why??????
>>
Roll me a 1d20
>>
>>460452
I ain't rolling unless excrement hits the fan HARD until then my prayers are with your rolls
>>
File: 1470454281666.png (255 KB, 1500x1500)
255 KB
255 KB PNG
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>460452
Check this
>>
15

Success!

Flames, pay attention. We can use this to learn about how the Spartan armed forces works.

Sorry, but Flames is busy! Would you like to leave a message?

...Goddamn it Flames, I need you to pay attention.

Ask Khorne, I'm busy thinking.

You sigh, internally and externally, and start paying full attention to the assembly. Roll me an additional 1d20 for what tech you learn.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>460480
>>
You can do this Anon!
>>
Waiting ten more minutes anons.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>460480
Dice need rolling.
>>
10

During the assembly, you learn a little, just enough for you to think about making a sort of Officer Academy, but nothing really special.

New Tech: Officer Academy

Officer Academy, when built will slowly over time research standard tactics and strategy. This can later be upgraded to a cultural specific academy for special tactics for your army. The cost to build is 10 Million.

After that, the assembly concludes, with the idea of a naval invasion on Epirus. You get out of your seat and the Antistragos bids you farewell as you leave the building.

As you exit the building, you see plenty of guards outside the entrance to the building, which is surrounded by marble columns with a wall built around the columms, adorned with Greek imagery of their many gods and goddesses. You leave the property slowly, and find yourself on the streets.

Actions.

>...Try to find Kryos, hopefully you didn't lose him.
>Maybe you should find the Archon's home?
>...Maybe you should follow the Antistragos you met earlier.
>...You kind of want to tour around the city, just to see what exactly it's like.
>Shapeshift? (Specify what form)
>Write-In
>>
>>460510
>>...Try to find Kryos, hopefully you didn't lose him.
>>
>>460510
>...Try to find Kryos, hopefully you didn't lose him.

We should eventually find and wear a chiton to blend in with the Greek environment.
>>
You decide to hunt down Kryos, and you eventually find him looking for you. How can you tell? Well, he's basically asking around for "some man with scales. He has a skin condition."

"...Kryos?"

"Renexizious? I was wondering where you were."

"I was studying a little."

"Ah. You were in the Temple of Ares?"

"...Temple of Ares?"

"Yes, the Temple of Ares. It's priests are known to be rather adept at the war of war and strategy."

Actions.


>...I think I was. What does it look like?
>...Sounds like a good religion. Now if only they worshiped me.
>...You don't think I can pass myself off as a demigod of Ares, right?
>Khorne... Just a question, can you sense other gods?
>Write-In
>>
>>460529
>>Khorne... Just a question, can you sense other gods?
>>...I think I was. What does it look like?
>>
>>460529
>...I think I was. What does it look like?
>Khorne... Just a question, can you sense other gods?
>>
>>460442
Told ya.

>>460529
>Khorne... Just a question, can you sense other gods?

>>460447
Because I'm petty.
>>
"I think I was. I was in a building or something, bunch of column's, kind of like an auditorium."

"Oh, well I'm not sure where you were then."

Khorne, just a question... Can you sense other gods?

HUH? YEAH, I CAN. WHY DO YOU ASK?

...Just wondering. What gods can you sense?

A BUNCH, WHY?

...Oh. Cool.

YEAH.

Actions.

>...Oh shit, does that mean God is real?
>...Erh, can I talk to them or something? This sounds neat.
>...Well, rest in peace good afterlife, I hardly knew you.
>...Shit, are they saying anything about me or something?
>That's cool. Now I'm going back to reality, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>460549
>>...Shit, are they saying anything about me or something?
>>...Well, rest in peace good afterlife, I hardly knew you.
>>
>>460549
>That's cool. Now I'm going back to reality, alright?

Don't tell Khorne that we're cheating on m by talking to other gods. Also Greek/Roman pagan Renexizious anyone? Draconic is suppose to identical to Latin anyways.
>>
>>460549
>...Shit, are they saying anything about me or something?
>...Erh, can I talk to them or something? This sounds neat.


Here's hoping our god isn't a prick. If he is we are changing to our fathers faith just to fuck with him.
>>
...Shit, are they saying anything about me or something?

...UH, WHICH ONES?

Any of them?

HANG ON... WELL, YOU WANT THE GENERAL CONSENSUS, OR DO YOU WANT SPECIFICS OF WHAT GODS THINK OF YOU?

Can I talk to them?

NOT UNLESS THEY WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

Actions.

>...Could you tell me of the Norse Pantheon?
>...Greek Pantheon, please.
>Roman Pantheon is best Pantheon. No offense.
>...Erh, how about the Roman mystery cults?
>I want a specific god's general opinion of me. (Specify)
>...I want the big man in the sky. God.
>Write-In
>>
>>460579
>...I want the big man in the sky. God.
>I want a specific god's general opinion of me. (Odin, Zeus and Jupiter)
>>
>>460579
General consensus with a quick reference to the more amiable? Any objections?
>>
I want the big man in the sky, God. I also want to know Odin, Zeus, and Jupiter's opinion of me.

...RIGHT. WELL, GOD IS PISSED OFF AT YOU, AND IS ARGUABLY THE MOST POWERFUL GOD. HE'S ALSO A FEW INCHES AWAY FROM TRYING TO SMITE OR CURSE YOU FOR CORRUPTING HIS FAITHFUL.

Only a few?

YEAH, ONLY A FEW.

Actions.

>Meh, fuck God.
>Could you send him a message or something? (Specify)
>...Does getting smited hurt a lot?
>...What exactly does Jesus think of me?
>Yeah, I wasn't really expecting him to like me. Tell me about the other gods.
>What exactly happens if he curses me?
>Write-In
>>
>>460602
>Yeah, I wasn't really expecting him to like me. Tell me about the other gods.

Man I thought he would've been cool with us getting rid of the pope.
>>
>>460602
>>...What exactly does Jesus think of me?
also i think we should send God a message but i don't know what...
>>
>>460602
>Yeah, I wasn't really expecting him to like me. Tell me about the other gods.
>...What exactly does Jesus think of me?


>>460612
God is a dick, I say we just do the standard "good christian saint" thing and let the people decide if we are a good christian.

If we are a good christian, then he can't by any good logic smite or curse us. I assume us corrupting his faithful is referring to forcing conversion to draconian-Catholicism. Something I wasn't in favour of.
>>
>>460620
I kind of want to turn to Roman paganism now. I'm a big fan of Ancient Rome and it might be closer to Draconic culture. I remember when we were in Italy and it turned out that Latin is essentially Draconic which would suggest the two are related. Also a pantheon like that would have less consequences unless if we do something like blowing up a temple to Zeus.
>>
What exactly does Jesus think of me?

HE'S NEUTRAL, BUT KIND OF ANNOYED.

Oh. Well, tell me about the other gods.

JUPITER THINKS YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ROME GREAT AGAIN AND SOMEWHAT LOVES YOU, BUT HIS PANTHEON HAS EFFECTIVELY EDGY TEENAGERS AS HIS WORSHIPER, SO HE HAS ALMOST NO POWER, AND IS BASICALLY ON LIFE SUPPORT. ODIN IS... KIND OF POWERFUL, AND SLIGHTLY LIKES YOU. ZEUS HOWEVER GIVES NO SHITS.

...Ah. What exactly is God pissed off at me about anyways?

THE FACT YOUR TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE YOUR GOD. THE FACT YOU KILLED THE POPE, THOUGH HE SLIGHTLY AGREED WITH IT, SLAVERY, THE FACT YOUR A CHRISTIAN AND ARE TRYING TO GET A SECOND WIFE, NOT TO MENTION A VAMPIRE SECOND WIFE, AND... THE FUCK? YOU PRACTICE NECROMANCY?

...Yes?

MAGIC'S FOR FUCKING PANSIES. BUT SINCE YOU AREN'T DOING IT THAT'S ALRIGHT.

Could you give me a list of gods who like or dislike me?

THE GUYS WHO LIKE YOU ARE SOME FAGGOTS CALLED ARES, FENRIR, FREYA, THOR, YAHWEH, AHURA MAZDA JUNO, MAGNI... AND SOME AMATERASU-Ō-MI-KAMI OR SOMETHING. OH, AND RA... AND SOME GUY CALLED TENGRI.

What about the ones who dislike me?

I NEED A BIG LIST... WELL, MARS, GOD AND COMPANY, THE CELTIC GODS FOR SOME REASON BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THEY DON'T LIKE ANYONE ELSE ANYWAYS, LOKI, BASTET, ANUBIS, SETH, BUT HE SEEMS TO HATE ANYONE WHO ISN'T EGYPTIAN, BUDDHA, HADES, ARTEMIS, ATHENA, MINERVA, AND GAIA. BUT SHE HATES EVERYONE.

Actions.

>...Why does one of these gods like or dislike me? (Specify who)
>What the hell is that... Erh, eastern name doing in the like section?
>...Most of these I don't really know.
>Would you mind if I changed religion?
>...So, are any of them willing to talk with me?
>Return to reality.
>Write-In
>>
>>460667
>...So, are any of them willing to talk with me?
>>
>>460667
>...So, are any of them willing to talk with me?
>>
Are any of them willing to talk to me?

WELL, UNLESS YOU CONVERTED TO THEIR FAITH FEW OF THEM COULD ACTUALLY TALK TO YOU. BUT LUCKILY YOU HAVE ME, SO BASICALLY ANYONE WHO KIND OF LIKES YOU MIGHT ANSWER.

...Erh... What's going on? I just finished thinking a little while ago.

Actions.

>...I'm finding new religious opportunities, Flames.
>Just browsing some gods. Which are cool.
>...God's pissed off at me, apparently.
>...Ignore him, and tell Khorne to give a god a call. Or something. (Specify Who)
>Return back to reality.
>Write-In
>>
>>460698
>>Return back to reality.
>>
>>460698
>>...God's pissed off at me, apparently.
>>
>>460728
Oh yeah also if we can add on to that
>>Write-In
How's the campaign going?
>>
Waiting ten more minutes anons.
>>
>>460698
>Return back to reality.
>>
You return back to reality by silencing Flames and Khorne.

"So, where exactly are we headed to now?"

"Huh? Oh. Well... I have a few ideas."

Actions.

>...Why don't we head to the Temple of Ares? It sounds interesting.
>Would you happen to know where the Archon lives?
>...So, how exactly does one become a hellenic pagan? Just asking for a friend.
>Hang on, I wonder if I can still find that Antistrategos from earlier.
>...You wouldn't of happen to have a Catholic church in this city, would you?
>Write-In
>>
>>460767
>Would you happen to know where the Archon lives?
>>
>>460767
Stop by a market or something and pick up a chiton.
>>
You decide to find where the Archon lives... And also find a Chiton. Meanwhile, Flames interrupts you.

Why the hell did you just silence me like that? I was asking a question.

Actions.

>...Silence him again. You just want to find a fitting chiton, damn it.
>...No reason. You wouldn't happen to be religious, right?
>Huh? Oh, apparently Khorne can talk to other gods and things like that. I thought it was pretty cool.
>...Well, we might talk to another god later. Any personal recommendations?
>Oh. Sorry about that, I just had to get something done.
>Write-In
>>
>>460815
>Oh. Sorry about that, I just had to get something done.
>Huh? Oh, apparently Khorne can talk to other gods and things like that. I thought it was pretty cool.
>>
>>460815
>Oh. Sorry about that, I just had to get something done.
>>
>>460815
>>...Well, we might talk to another god later. Any personal recommendations?
>>Oh. Sorry about that, I just had to get something done.
>>
Oh, sorry about that. I just had to get something done.

Right. Sorry for interrupting your train of thought then.

It's fine. Oh, by the way Khorne can talk to other gods and things like that. I thought it was really cool.

...Holy shit, really?

Yeah, apparently.

Cool...

Yeah, we might talk to another one later. Any recommendations?

...I'm not really religious... So I'm fine with whatever you choose. Though meeting a few norse gods would be cool.

Right.

So, we're remaining with the Big Man or are we planning to join some other religion?

Actions.

>...Well, what do you want?
>No, that's stupid. Why would we convert?
>We might, later. Probably when I get some actual free time and you stop interrupting me.
>...We're converting now, of course.
>Write-In
>>
>>460861
>>...Well, what do you want?
Proooooobably staying with big G for now, but let's get a second opinion.
>>
>>460861
>Write-In
"We might, I'll have to see what the various gods are like and if they are less dickish."
>>
If we do convert btw, it might be fun to get Jupiter off life support so to say. Or follow our dad's faith and join with Odin, it's his old lands we're king of after all.
>>
>>460886
Emperor*
>>
we should totally check if there is a god named The Emperor
>>
>>460861
>We might, later. Probably when I get some actual free time.

Right now we have Archons to meet and daughters to seduce.
>>
>>460894
>The Emperor
>A god

Pls go away Lorgar.
>>
...Well, what do you want?

Erh... I kind of prefer being a catholic. Unless we can convert Elizabeth or Frankizka to a different religion.

Ah. Well, we'll see what the various gods are like and if they are less dickish.

...Uh, how exactly is God being a dick?

What do you mean?

...Well, we've kind of been stepping all over his grill, trying to get his worshipers to worship us, that sort of thing. But fuck that guy anyways. We can find cooler gods then that. Viktor might be a little upset though.

Right.

You go back to reality, and finally get a fitting Chiton after a nice sum of money given. Eventually Kryos guides you to a rather large building right by the center of town. It's basically a very, very large house.

"From what I remember, this is the place."

"Thanks, Kryos."

"No problem. I'm going to assume your going inside?"

"...Well, yeah."

He grunts.

"Guess I get to wait out here. I wonder if there's any paper nearby."

Actions.

>...Well, prepare to go inside calmly and collected.
>Burrow underground and into the home!
>You can come, if you want.
>...Summon Smaug to scout. (Summoning)
>Write-In
>>
>>460900
Notice how i put it in spoilers i meant it as a joke

>>460905
>...Well, prepare to go inside calmly and collected.
>>
>>460905
>...Well, prepare to go inside calmly and collected.
>>
>>460905
>>...Well, prepare to go inside calmly and collected.
>>
>>460905
>...Well, prepare to go inside calmly and collected.
>>
You prepare to go inside the house calmly and collected. You go up to the door and knock, adjusting your new chiton... Which is rather comfy, to be honest.

What seems to be a helot opens the door.

"Yes? Do you need something from the Archonate?"

Actions.

>...No, not really.
>Push the door open and go inside, ignoring the helot.
>...Give him your name. Maybe that will terrify him.
>...I'm here to talk to the Archon about something. (Charisma, HARD)
>...Shapeshift?
>Pheromone.
>Write-In
>>
>>460942
>...Give him your name. Maybe that will terrify him.
>>
"...Name's Renexizious. I'm here to see the Archon."

"O-oh! I'll tell him right away!"

The helot closes the door, and a few minutes later it opens again to a middle-aged man.

"...What do you want? I'm busy."

Actions.

>...Why don't we talk inside?
>...I think I know something you might not want other people to know...
>I just came to say hi, and meet you.
>Get out of my way, I'm here to see your daughter.
>Write-In
>>
>>460966
>...Why don't we talk inside?
>>
>>460966
>Why dont we go inside and talk
>>
>>460966
>Write-In
"It would do me, and my nation, well to talk with the Greeks. The creators of so much and a major influence for the culture of the modern world.

Thus I thought to myself, which of the Greek people's do I feel I like the most? Thus I am here, in your fine city, speaking to you."
>>
>>460966
>>...Why don't we talk inside?
>>
"...Why don't we go inside and talk?"

The door opens a little more and you enter, and he closes the door behind you.

"...So, Renexiziuos, is it?"

"Yeah, I assume you've heard of me?"

"Of course I have."

He begins walking slowly into what seems to be a study.

"...Now, I assume you aren't here to meet and greet."

"Don't you mean, meet and greek?"

"...That's terrible."

"Come on, it's great!"

Be right back, I have an emergency supply of bleach in case of bad puns.

Fuck you. It's not bad!

"So, what exactly do you want with me? I don't have all day."

Actions.

>...Well, I might of heard a rumor that your daughter may or may not be a minotaur. I came to see for myself.
>...I know your daughter is a minotaur. I won't expose this, in exchange for something...
>Well, I did in fact came to meet you.
>I recommend you be a little more respectful, before I squish you like an insect. And say my puns are good.
>...I was wondering if you'd be willing to get in an alliance with me.
>What's with the attitude?
>Write-In
>>
>>461006
>Well, I did in fact came to meet you.
>>
>>461006
>Well, I did in fact came to meet you.
>...Well, I might of heard a rumor that your daughter may or may not be a minotaur. I came to see for myself.
>>
Waiting five more minutes anons.
>>
>>461006
>>...I was wondering if you'd be willing to get in an alliance with me.
>>
"Well, I did come to meet you."

"Last time I checked, that's not how affairs of state work. You want something from me."

"...Well, I might of heard a rumor that your daughter may or may not be a minotaur. I came to see for myself."

"...Who in Hades name told you about that?!"

"...So it's true?"

"This conversation never happened, understand? You must not tell anyone." He looks rather panicked, and slightly nervous.

Actions

>...I promise I won't tell anyone, alright?
>I'll tell you who told me, in exchange that you do me a few favors.
>I'm not here to blackmail you, I'm here to get along with you.
>...Where is your daughter?
>Why, what will happen if I do tell someone?
>Write-In
>>
>>461044
>I'm not here to blackmail you, I'm here to get along with you.

How would his daughter be a Minotaur? Are there mutagens to turn people into minotaurs like the dragon mutagen we have?
>>
File: download.png (11 KB, 225x225)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
I see your minimizing the dice rolls. Did I do that?

>I'm not here to blackmail you, I'm here to get along with you.
>>
>>461055
I believe Kryos told you that it's random in human children in Greece, and is happening more often.
>>
>>461044
>>I'm not here to blackmail you, I'm here to get along with you.
>>
"I'm not here to blackmail you. I'm here to get along with you."

"Sure you are... What exactly do you intend?"

"What's with the cynicalism?"

"Just tell me what you want from me, damn it. I don't want to play a guessing game or jump through hoops."

Actions.

>...I want a non-aggression pack with Sparta.
>Alliance? Alliance.
>...I want you out of the picture, specifically.
>What, we can't be friends?
>I want your vassalization.
>...Well, I want to see your daughter.
>Write-In
>>
>>461079
>>Alliance? Alliance.
>>
>>461079
>Alliance? Alliance.
>...Well, I want to see your daughter.

Also mention that we control Rome and that it has experienced a Renaissance under our control.
>>
>>461079
>>Alliance? Alliance.
>>
"I want an alliance with you."

"Eh... I'm not sure, really."

"I also want to see your daughter."

He goes silent.

"...What?"

"What, was it is something I said?"

"Erh... No. I just find that strange."

"What is?"

"...Why would you want to see my daughter?"

Actions.

>...Well, I personally don't, my second head however says it's a great idea, along with the voices.
>...Because she's probably a nice person?
>Because I'm into that sort of thing.
>...I want to cement our alliance?
>I'm just curious, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>461143
>...Because she's probably a nice person?
>>
>>461143
>>I'm just curious, alright?
>>
"Well, I'm curious. Also, she's probably a nice person."

"...Well... I guess. Now, about the alliance... What exactly do I get out of it?"

Actions.

>...I can promise you control over Greece, Egypt, maybe even the Holy Lands if you serve well.
>I can promise Greece will expand further. (Charisma)
>You'll hold onto Greece and it's current territories. (Charisma, HARD)
>Greece will be lucky to have ME as a friend. (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>...Greece will eventually become a vassal and protected nobly by me. (Charisma, ULTRA-HARD)
>...Because I won't kill you? (Intimidation, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>461199
>You'll hold onto Greece and it's current territories. (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>461199
>>You'll hold onto Greece and it's current territories. (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>461199
>You'll hold onto Greece and it's current territories. (Charisma, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7.
>>
Rolled 14 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>461228
>>
Rolled 16 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>461228
ayy lmao
>>
16+7=23

Minor Success!

"You'll hold onto Greece and it's current territories, with me as a friend..."

"...Well... Damn it... I can't really refute that."

"Yeah. With YOU as the leader."

"...That sounds nice, actually. You have a deal, dragon."

"Good."

The two of you shake on it.

"...Now, I am going to get a drink of wine..."

Actions.

>...Would you mind if a friend came inside?
>...I could go for some wine also.
>Turn on the Charisma-machine that is you, ask where the daughter's room is, and initiate the operation.
>You wouldn't happen to have a guest quarters for me to rest in for a while, right?
>...Flames, change of plans. Looks like we won't be seducing after all.
>Write-In
>>
>>461254
>Turn on the Charisma-machine that is you, ask where the daughter's room is, and initiate the operation.

Do it simply for Flames. The poor bastard needs.
>>
"...Would you mind if I saw your daughter now?"

"...Sure, just don't get any ideas, alright? It's up the stairs, third door on the left. Give her a double knock followed by a ten second silence, and then another double knock."

"Don't worry, I will."

You go up to the door...

Actions.

>...Shapeshift into Half-Dragon form.
>Shapeshift into half-dragon form, but let Flames do the talking.
>...Na, you'll do it in human form, why not?
>Write-In

Anyways anons, I've got to go for now. I'll be back in a few hours.
>>
>>461279
>Shapeshift into half-dragon form, but let Flames do the talking.
>>
>>461279
>Write-In
Do it in dragon-blooded form, so we are clearly inhuman but aren't as threatening or hard to relate to.
>>
>>461279
>>Shapeshift into half-dragon form, but let Flames do the talking.
Flames is the one who wanted to do this.
>>
>>461288
>>461328
This
>>
>>461295
Dragonblood, and let Flames talk.
>>
>>461573
>>
>>461573
He can't, we need to be at least Half-Dragon to have an extra head.
>>
>>461279
>>Shapeshift into half-dragon form, but let Flames do the talking.
>>
>>461680
Oh, right.
>>
I'm back snobs. Roll me a 1d20 to see if Flames can into courting. Additional +2 if you can give vague and terrible advice.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>461796
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>461796
Do you know what a Chad is flames? Trying to act like one.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>461796
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

"Flames. I suggest you get her a cannon, bitch's love cannons."
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>461796
Fuck her right in the pussy.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>461796
>>
I feel like we just got tricked by a guy who just out his name as QuestingQM. Either that or QM just got raided by a tactical insurgence team or something.
>>
12+2=14

Minor Failure!

Comes on Flames, just act like a Chad. Fuck her right in the pussy, get her a cann-

What the fuck are you doing?

You shut up, and open the door. Inside, is a rather large minotaur, sleeping on a bed. You see books, a few spears and shields scattered throughout the room, and rather large (and spiked!) armor on a huge armor stand.

Flames opens his mouth.

Erh... Hi?

You get a sudden urge to jump on the bed to startle her from Flames, as the minotauress grunts and rolls over. It seems she hasn't noticed you.

Actions.

>...Flames, your fucking retarded. We're going to get crushed.
>...Flames, your fucking brilliant. Jump into the bed.
>...Flames, your good but my plan's better. Grow in size and THEN jump into the bed!
>...Erh, maybe you should poke around the room a little?
>...Khorne, give Flames some help.
>Write-In
>>
>>461881
>...Erh, maybe you should poke around the room a little?

look through her diary and learn to read Greek while we're at it.
>>
>>461881
>...Flames, your fucking brilliant. Jump into the bed.
>>
>>461903
This.
>>
>>461796
>>461881
>Two different id's
Did we get rused by this guy QM and you went along>>461796 because you have the original id thats pink.
>>
You decide to just let Flames go with his plan, and jump into the bed. The minotauress rolls over again, pressing up against you and opens an eye lazily at you. Flame naturally pokes his head up.

H-hey... Uh. Hi?

Both of her eyes flare open.

"Who in Zeus's name are you? What are you doing in my bedroom, and why do you look like a reptile, and also, why the hell do you have two heads?"

Actions.

>You'll answer this one.
>Let Flames answer it.
>...Quickly ask Flames what he thinks of her so far.
>Tell Flames to answer it using what you say in your mind.
>See if you can't get Khorne to answer!
>Write-In
>>
>>461941
>Let Flames answer it.
>>
>>461946
This.
>>
>>461941
>Let Flames answer it.

How large is a Minotaur an average?
>>
>>461951
You wouldn't really know, since you've only met two minotaurs so far.

You let Flames answer it... Roll me a 1d20+2 to see how competently he can answer it.
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>461959
>>
Rolled 5 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>461959
In that case how big is Kryos?
>>
>>461971
About fourteen feet.
>>
Rolled 8 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>461959
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>461959
Check this save?
>>
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>461975
So he is like a centipede minotuar?
>>
8+2=10

Failure!

"Erh... I'm Flames. Nice to meet you. I'm uh... Taking a tour of your room? I'm also a dragon, and I do indeed, have two heads."

"...Name's Chrysoula. Could you get out of my room now?" You note that the minotauress is about eleven feet, and smells similar to that of grapes. The more you know.

"N-No! I uh... I want to talk to you, first off."

"...I don't even know you."

"That shouldn't stop you from being friendly towards visitors..."

"You jumped in my bed."

"So I did..."

Actions.

>Quickly, provide advice to Flames! (Specify)
>Flames, just let me do this.
>Khorne, help Flames. I can't watch this trainwreck any more.
>Just let Flames do his thing.
>Come on Flames, be more confident!
>...Erh, so what do you think of her so far?
>Write-In

>>462006
Centipede minotaur? I don't know what that is.
>>
>>462018
>Quickly, provide advice to Flames! (Specify)
Pheromones anybody?
>>
>>462018
>Just let Flames do his thing.
He needs to do this like a man
>>
>>462027
This. Tell him there are pheromones on standby if he needs them.
>>
>>462027
Switching to this.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if he can recover.
>>
Rolled 19 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462044
>>
Rolled 14 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462044
>>
>>462045
Glorious! Next action someone will roll a. One.
>>
19+2=21

Success!

"But that's in the past! And you smell nice."

"...I do?"

"Yeah! You smell like... Grapes!"

"Thank you?" She's somewhat confused by his compliment.

"Anyways you are soft and warm, and have a pleasant aroma, that of grapes! This is a good thing!"

"Oh. Thanks. Why are you complimenting me?"

"...Because you seem pretty cool!"

"...I don't think anyone's said that about me before. Thank you, erh... Flames was it?"

HOLY SHIT I AM ACTUALLY DOING THIS.

Actions.

>Keep it up Flames! Your doing great!
>...Come on, you can do some things a little better... (Specify)
>I'm somewhat amazed your doing this.
>Try to impress her, Claw.
>Write-In
>>
>>462070
>Keep it up Flames! Your doing great!
>>
>>462073
This
>>
Roll me a 1d20+2 and pray Anti's curse doesn't apply. Additional +2 if you give a compliment to the minotaur.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>462086
>>
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462086
"Your horns are as great as a oak tree and your eyes shine like the stars. You have the beauty of Aphrodite and the strength of Ares"
>>
>>462100
Change that part about the horns to oak trees. I think I made a grammar mistake with that.
>>
>>462100
So who did you pray to? Asking for a friend.
>>
>>462133
I prayed to Fortuna, goddess of luck and fortune. Do so and you shall receive good dice rolls.
>>
>>462100
Flames apparently gets inspired by something, and says something rather... Poetic.

"Your horns are as great as a mighty oak tree and your eyes shine like the celestial stars. You have the beauty of Aphrodite and the strength of Ares..."

She blushes, heavily.

"I... I've never had someone say anything about me like that... I've only ever really talked to my father and a few servants... I didn't think I was beautiful..."

"But you are! You're like a hidden gem!"

"...I don't know what to say..."

You are now Flames, and you are fucking great at compliments, apparently.

"No problem! I can think of even more ways to compliment your fair beauty!"

Actions.

>...Erh, actually you can't. See if you can't get Ren to help you or something.
>...Well, why don't you compliment me? I think that such a charming minotauress like yourself would have something good to say about me.
>Continue the compliments!
>You don't have to say anything!
>Hopefully you don't creep her out by admitting you find her attractive.
>...This is weird. Just kind of back away now. What the hell are you doing anyways?
>Write-in
>>
>>462138
>Hopefully you don't creep her out by admitting you find her attractive.
>>
>>462138
>Hopefully you don't creep her out by admitting you find her attractive.

If the possibility for failed rolls to epicly fail than we must take the scenario where the failure is at a maximum!
>>
>>462138
>Write-in
"Flame please remember that if you do follow the advice of Descartes and give her the dick, that my wife will kill me for {physically} laying with another woman. I ain't trying to kill the mood, so long as you don't kill me."
>>
Roll me a 1d20+2 to avoid creeping her out!
>>
>>462138
>Hopefully you don't creep her out by admitting you find her attractive.

What color fur color is she? That would be another way to compliment her.
>>
Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462148
>>
Rolled 2 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462147
I think that boat sake when we woke up in bed with her?
>>
Rolled 8 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462148
>>
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462148
If we fail "Oh man my wife is gonna kill me."
>>
Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

Think curses can be revoked? Can't decide I should revoke.
>>
12+2=14

Failure!

"I find you extremely attractive!"

"...Erh... What?"

"...Shit, I think I was supposed to say that later."

"Listen... I think you're a nice guy... And the only other person I have really talked to besides my father... But I don't even know you. Sorry."

At least she didn't get freaked out.

Shut up, you.

"...Could you get out of my bed before my father thinks your trying to seduce me or something?"

Actions.

>...Nope!
>How often does he check in on you?
>...Well, I guess...
>Go back to flirting and complimenting! That worked well!
>You haven't talked to anyone else besides me?
>...Would you mind if I ask you some questions then, to get to know you better?
>Write-In
>>
>>462177
>You haven't talked to anyone else besides me?
>>
>>462177
>Write-In
Get out the bed unlike what the spastic fuck known as claw would do.

Proceed to say the following statement;

"Would it ease your worries to ask me questions, and be asked questions in turn."
>>
>>462177
>...Nope!
>You haven't talked to anyone else besides me?
>>
>>462177
>How often does he check in on you?

Is this entire thing on hard? A 12 should've at least been a minor success.
>>
>>462177
Pff, this isn't one of your trashy romance novels
>>
You decide against getting off the bed, and remain firmly right next to Chrysoula.

"...You haven't talked to anyone else but me?"

"No. I talk to my father and mother sometimes... Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"Erh... Would you care if I rambled for a little bit? I would like to talk to another person."

Actions.

>Yes! Tell me your stories, minotaur lady!
>Erh... Just don't go on for too long, alright?
>Please don't...
>...Do your parents treat you well?
>How old are you anyways?
>Write-In
>>
>>462202
Sure, sometimes even I need a break from conquering
>>
>>462202
>Sure.
>How old are you anyways?
>>
>>462202
>Yes! Tell me your stories, minotaur lady!
>How old are you anyways?

Women like to be heard and given attention. Even if they're 11 foot tall bipedal bovines or 18 story tall reptilians.
>>
>>462210
>>
"Sure! How old are you anyways?"

"Twenty-four, I believe."

"Oh. Good."

Is it wrong to say I'm slightly dissapointed that she didn't answer with something younger just so I can laugh at you?

Shut up, Ren. I'm trying to get into courting.

Fine, I was just making another joke.

"...Well, thanks. Well, you know my father is the Archon of Sparta, right?"

"Oh, yeah. I remember."

"Well... I keep feeling my mom is disappointed in me, for being a minotaur. I have no other siblings, so that means I have to continue the family on... And I've never gone outside this house in my life."

"How is that possible?"

"Honor, I gave my father my word when I was young, and he means the world to me... He used to seat me on his lap and read history books to me, or tell me tales of his battles. At times he would tell me about the gods, but that was somewhat minor... He continued the tradition of sitting me on his lap even when I got taller then him. He only stopped because my mom told him to, for the sake of his health."

Actions

>...You love your father, don't you?
>That's kind of adorable, honestly. I'm imagining you as a child, with little horns sitting on your dad's lap.
>...What books do you read? You seem rather interested in those.
>Do you not like your mom?
>Write-In
>>
>>462240
>That's kind of adorable, honestly. I'm imagining you as a child, with little horns sitting on your dad's lap.
>>
>>462240
>...What books do you read? You seem rather interested in those.

Just as a suggestion before we leave Greece or while we're here, we should get a Minotaur slave or criminal and see what happens when you give it Draconic mutagens.
>>
>>462244
>>462251
These two.
>>
"That's kind of adorable, honestly. I'm just imagining you as a child with little horns sitting on your dad's lap."

She laughs just a little.

"Now that you mention it, that does seem kind of funny that he kept doing that."

"Yeah... Anyways, what books do you read? You seem somewhat inrested in those."

"Oh, uh... I read lots of history. And some tactical manuals my dad gave me a while ago."

"Oh, cool. Are you done rambling?"

"...No, but I only have a little left to go."

"Alright then... Please finish."

"Yeah... Anyways, after that my dad decided to train me in home defense in case someone tries to break in or kill him."

"Oh. What did he train you in?"

"Mostly how to use my fisticuffs, spears, and object laying around."

"Oh. That's pretty cool."

"Yeah. Thanks... It's nice to talk to someone who isn't my dad or mom, you know?"

"...Oh, trust me. I understand completely."

"Yeah. Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"

Actions.

>...I'm uh, Flames. I'm also a huge as fuck dragon and the Emperor of Sweden.
>...I'm the second head to Renexizious here...
>I'm just a nice guy, I guess.
>...You have soft fur. Mind if I touch it?
>Write-in
>>
>>462290
>...I'm uh, Flames. I'm also a huge as fuck dragon and the Emperor of Sweden.
>>
>>462290
> you have soft fur
Don't stop now big guy!
Also maybe next time we see Kyros we should mention that we were in a meeting with the armed forces, isn't that kind of relevant to why we are here?
>>
>>462300
This and the fur.
>>
"...Well, I'm uh. Flames. You already know that. I'm also a huge as fuck dragon and the Emperor of Sweden."

You mean RENEXIZIOUS is the Emperor of Sweden, jackass.

...We're the emperor of Sweden, alright?

Yeah, no. I'm the Emperor.

We're the Emperor!

...Fine then, alright?

"...Erh... Sweden isn't an empire. It fell apart after the battle at Poltava."

"...Well... Would you mind if I touch your fur first? It's soft and comfortable."

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if she'll let you.
>>
Rolled 11 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462317
>>
Rolled 2 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462317
>>
>>462325
That was dangerously close there, buddy.
>>
>>462327
Roll. What we have now isn't good enough.
>>
Rolled 17 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462327
Forgot the dice.
>>
17+2=19

Good Success!

"Thanks for noticing... I guess you can.""

You poke her, of course. She giggles a little. She must be ticklish.

Holy shit it's like a pillow of slight fur.

...Comfy. Now tell her about how Sweden's awesome and shit.

Actions.

>...Sure, why not?
>...That's not what I'm here for, Ren. I'm here to get a girlfriend!
>...Well, thank Chrysoula and tell Ren to get up.
>Chrysoula, you are one of the most cute minotaurs I have ever met.
>...How would you like to get out of your dad's place and come with me?
>Further try to woo her!
>...Ren, could you deploy the lust pheromone?
>Continue poking her!
>...Eh, maybe stroking her while you tell her something might boost the mood a little?
>Write-In
>>
>>462342
>Chrysoula, you are one of the most cute minotaurs I have ever met.
>...Eh, maybe stroking her while you tell her something might boost the mood a little?
>>
>>462342
>Chrysoula, you are one of the most cute minotaurs I have ever met.
>...How would you like to get out of your dad's place and come with me?
>>
>>462344
This.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3 to see how effective this is. Additional +2 for other compliments.
>>
Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>462356
>>
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>462356
"You possess hair as fine as silk imported all the way from China."
>>
Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>462356
>>
14+5=19

Great Success!

You begin stroking her fur, and she moves, slightly uncomfortable.

"Crysoula, you are one of the most cute minotaurs I have ever had the pleasure of meeting."

"Thanks... You're one of the nicest guys I met. Thank you for the compliment."

"Did I mention you possess hair as fine as silk imported all the way from China?"

At this point she starts blushing.

"...Thanks... But could we get out of bed... I'd rather my father not think we're... Courting." She yawns, and you have a idea...

Actions

>Is something wrong with that?
>...Lean in for the kiss! Do it! DO IT! SHE'S EXPOSED!
>Ren, dispense lust pheromones!
>But we are!
>He doesn't have to know, you know.
>Yeah... Good point.
>Write-In
>>
>>462373
>>Is something wrong with that?
>>...Lean in for the kiss! Do it! DO IT! SHE'S EXPOSED!
>>
Roll me a 1d20 to see if she appreciates this!
>>
>>462378
This
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>462392
>>
>>462392
We're approaching dangerous levels of racial interaction here.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>462397
These FUCKING dice.
>>
>>462393
Please save us from ourselves.
The dice gods aren't big fans of interracial.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>462392
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

15

Border Check!

Roll me a 1d20, and I'll roll a 1d20! I only accept the first roll however!
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>462410
Use the tongue.
>>
"...And is there a problem with that?"

"We-"

You interrupt her, as you go to french kiss her. She relaxes immensely...

Actions.

>...Minotaur Tumbling? Minotaur Tumbling.
>Nah, this is good. Just continue like this.
>What the hell are you thinking? Stop the kiss.
>Write-In
>>
>>462420
>...Minotaur Tumbling? Minotaur Tumbling.
>>
>>462420
>>Nah, this is good. Just continue like this.
Yeah we are basically leading her on under false assumptions.
>>
>>462426
Switching to this.
>>
>>462420
>Nah, this is good. Just continue like this.
>>
You remain kissing for a while, until she forces you off her.

"S-Stop... I don't want to dishonor my family just for a romance." She looks somewhat ashamed and curls up.

"...Could you just get out now?" she mutters out from her curled-up position.

...Aw... I was hoping for some good old fashioned tumbling, you fucking degenerate.

Actions.

>...Ignore her and continue going!
>...Right... Sorry.
>Come on, your family doesn't even want you. Why should you care about dishonoring them?
>...Come on, just give me a chance to make this work, alright?
>Comfort her a little... Mostly by stroking.
>Write-In
>>
>>462438
>...Come on, just give me a chance to make this work, alright?
>Comfort her a little... Mostly by stroking.
>>
>>462438
>...Come on, just give me a chance to make this work, alright?
>Comfort her a little... Mostly by stroking.
>>
"Come on... Just give me a chance to make this work, alright?"

You begin stroking her, while Ren decides to talk.

So... What exactly are we going to do with her?

What do you mean?

...Are we taking her back? Concubine? Third Wife? Or, rather your first wife... What exactly are we fucking doing?

Actions.

>...Come on, we'll decide this later, alright?
>She'll just come with us, alright?
>...She'll have to stay behind.
>...Well... Concubine, I guess...
>Third wife... I can't always be there for her since I'm a fucking second head after all.
>MY first wife, Renexizious. Mine! Not yours!
>What do you think of her so far?
>Write-In
>>
>>462449
>MY first wife, Renexizious. Mine! Not yours!
>>
>>462449
>...Come on, we'll decide this later, alright?
>She'll just come with us, alright?

let's just let our instincts take over and have some fun
>>
>>462449
>She'll just come with us, alright?
>>
She'll come with us, alright?

Right. Good luck then, faggot.

Hey!

Anyways, I'm going to take a nap, so you get control over my body for a little bit. Just don't fuck up, alright?

Oh shit, I do?

Yeah. Just don't fuck up.

Holy shit, you can move your hand without fucking asking Ren to do it! Sweet!

Meanwhile, the minotauress gets out of bed, a towering nine feet tall.

"...By the time I'm done with a bath, I want you out of my room, you magnificent bastard."

"Come on, I want to be with you."

"My dad is going to check on my room soon enough, alright?"

Actions.

>...Will he check the bathroom, though? Oh, and can I take a bath with you?
>Oh shit, that's right.
>...He's a part of Renexi- I mean, my alliance. Right. He won't do anything.
>Torn between me and your family, eh?
>Write-In
>>
>>462463
>...Will he check the bathroom, though? Oh, and can I take a bath with you?
>>
>>462463
>...Will he check the bathroom, though? Oh, and can I take a bath with you?
>Torn between me and your family, eh?
>>
Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if she'll let you.
+2 if you can give her a reason why.
>>
Rolled 14 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462471
>>
Rolled 4 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462471
>>
Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462471
Come on, when was the last time someone helped you wash up? I can get those hard to reach spots for you.
>>
"...Come on, when was the last time someone helped you wash up? I can get those hard to reach spots for you."

"...By Zeus, your persisent.

"That's my middle name. Actually, it isn't. I don't have a middle name."

She sighs.

"Fine. But only because you'll help me wash up."

SORRY, I WAS BUSY. WHA- HOLY CHAOS SHIT WHY IS THERE A BEASTMAN INFRONT OF US?

She's not a beastman! She's a minotaur!

HOLY SHIT THAT JUST MAKES IT WORSE.

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU AND RENEXIZIOUS MAKING FUN OF ME FOR GETTING A MINOTAUR GIRLFRIEND?

You hear Khorne snicker.

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE OF YOUR REACTION, TO BE HONEST.

FUCK OFF KHORNE HOLY SHIT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE JESUS!

Khorne breaks into laughter.

Actions.

>Your being an asshole, Khorne.
>What, are you jealous or something?
>Coming from the god who never gets women!
>Hang up, angrily.
>Write-in
>>
>>462496
>Hang up, angrily.

More emphasis on the former.
>>
>>462497
This.
We're going to scrub the shit out of her.
>>
>>462504
She's gonna like the smoothness of our scales
>>
You hang up, angrily, filled with rage.

"I will help you get cleaned, damn it!"

"...Oh. Alright. I was kind of exepcting you to not want to."

"I NEVER SHY AWAY FRO-"

She puts her hand over your mouth.

"No yelling."

"...Fine." you mutter out.

You follow Crysoula to a large bathroom...

"Normally the helots do this."

"Helots?"

"Yes, they tend not to live long after finding out I'm a minotaur, however."

"Oh."

You begin to undress, and she also begins to undress from her chiton... You watch, interested.

"What is it?"

"Just uh... Just noticing some particular features."

"Right."

She begins to turn on the bath, and waits patiently.

"Erh... What exactly are you waiting for?"

"It takes a while for the bathtub to heat up."

Actions.

>...Today is your lucky day! Fire Breath, go! (Body)
>No need to set water to boiling. Just let her wait.
>You know, I've actually never talked to a woman before you.
>So... Do you still feel like you don't know me?
>...It is time for ultra-bath. Renexizious knows how to do alchemy... Maybe you can use some of his knowledge while he's asleep to create the chemicals for a very fucking amazing bath. And clean your scales, that's a total bonus. (Alchemy)
>Write-In
>>
>>462528
>...It is time for ultra-bath. Renexizious knows how to do alchemy... Maybe you can use some of his knowledge while he's asleep to create the chemicals for a very fucking amazing bath. And clean your scales, that's a total bonus. (Alchemy)
What could possibly go wrong?
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3 for SCIENCE.
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>462548
Check this nat 20.
>>
>>462551
Anon, I...
>>
Critical Success!

You create something along the lines of amazing smelling, scale polishing, fur cleaning and untangling, comfortable as fuck, muscle-relaxing, headache-reducing, meditative, bubble bath to the power of two. You are slightly terrified to put it into the huge bathtub.

Actions.

>...Do it. FOR SCIENCE!
>Do it, but preheat the bathtub first. (Body)
>...No, no. This is too risky.
>Write-In
>>
>>462568
>>Do it, but preheat the bathtub first. (Body)
If we overheat it, just wait for it to cool down or tell Ren to help.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15 to heat a bathtub.
>>
Rolled 20 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>462577
Check this out.
>>
>>462583
Critical Success!

You boil the water with your breath to perfection, and you pour your serum into it. It begins expanding rapidly, and in a matter of seconds you cannot see the bottom.

"...I think the baths ready."

"Huh? That fast?"

"You know it."

She sighs.

"Well, here goes nothing. I swear if it's col-"

She puts her foot into the bathtub (which you note is in fact, a hoof. The bathtub also seems to be rather deep, as when she fully steps into it she's submerged up to the chest.

"...O-Oh my god, this is amazing!"

"Calm down, I thought you said no yelling!"

"Feel the water, it's divine!"

She sits down, sending water all over your face, along with bubbles.

"How did you get it to be like this?" She begins to lay down into the bathtub.

Actions.

>...Leave room for me, alright?
>It's that good?
>I just used some elbow grease and some fire.
>Oh, you know. I just took random chemicals, combined them together, boiled them with my breath, and then boiled the bathwater.
>...Jump into the bathtub, because why not?
>Write-In
>>
>>462599
>>It's that good?
>>
>>462551
>>462583
This anon is clearly a manifestation of the dice gods (which likes lewd interspecial bathing scenes).
>>
>>462599
>>Oh, you know. I just took random chemicals, combined them together, boiled them with my breath, and then boiled the bathwater.
>...Jump into the bathtub, because why not?
Canonball~!
>>
>>462602
Hey, I've been thinking of using a name in these threads. Think I should?
>>
"It's that good?"

"...Oooh yeah. It's amazing."

"If it makes you feel better, I used random chemicals and combined them together, then boiled them and boiled the bathwater with my breath."

She begins to float, and seems to be extremely comfortable.

"...Oh. So, I recommend moving, just a little."

"What? Wh-"

Roll me a 1d20 for your cannonball efficiency.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>462609
The luck charm wore off, I think.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>462612
hol up
>>
14

You jump in, right next to where Crysoula is. You narrowly miss her, and you get water in her face. You also remember that you can breathe underwater if you so chose to.

Actions.

>...Have some fun. Breathe a little fire on her. Just a little.
>Stay underwater, and see how long it takes for her to realize you might be drowning. Then scare her, of course.
>...Poke her underwater.
>Nah, just come up.
>Write-In
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>462609
>cannonball efficiency
Cannonballs aren't efficient.

>>462606
N-No. Noone likes namefags.
>>
>>462617
>>Stay underwater, and see how long it takes for her to realize you might be drowning. Then scare her, of course.
>>...Poke her underwater.
Poke her when she gets scared.
>>
You stay underwater, for a minute. Then two minutes. You hear her thurst her hand down into the water, and you poke her as fast as possible in her legs, and emerge. She yells something, which you couldn't hear quite clearly.

"You scared me! I thought you were drowning or something!"

"What? I'm fine.'

"You are a very strange man... Flames, was it?"

"Yeah. Also, I'm a dragon."

"...Erh, that's a little hard to verify... But I believe you... Now."

She splashes water into your face.

"That's for scaring me."

Actions.

>...Splash back, it's self defense after all.
>...Tickle attack? Tickle attack.
>Act as if it actually hurt you, like it burned your eyes.
>...So, you want me to clean you, or are you good?
>Write-In
>>
>>462632
>>...Tickle attack? Tickle attack.
>>
>>462632
We should tickle-clean her.
>>
You begin your vengeance by tickling her, and she squirms under your wrath! She can't help but laugh.

"Ha! I bet you feel foolish for assaulting me with yo-"

You hear a knock at the door.

"Crysoula, is everything alright?"

You stop tickling her.

"Y-yeah dad. Don't worry about it."

"Alright, just wanted to make sure your alright."

"Yeah. I'm fine."

You hear him walk away slowly.

Actions.

>...That was a close one.
>...Well, thanks for not rating me out.
>...Poke her on the nose.
>Who said this would end the Ticklecost?
>Write-In
>>
>>462645
>>...Poke her on the nose.
>>Who said this would end the Ticklecost?
>>
"...Boop."

You poke her on the nose, and begin tickling/cleaning her. Her laughter is amazing to your ears. But then, you feel her begin to tickle you... But since Ren's body can't feel pain or anything, it's basically her just poking you back.

"...God... I don't remember the last time I had this much fun!"

"...Yeah, me neither, really."

The two of you seem to be exhausted, so a temporary cease-fire is called.

"...So... I can't believe in a hour or two I went from being creeped out by you to being attracted."

Actions.

>...I was surprised myself.
>Well, that's because you have a nice heart!
>...Well, if it makes you feel better I too am attracted to you.
>How the hell were you creeped out by me?
>Kiss her. I loved you before it was cool, you know.
>Write-In
>>
>>462653
>>Kiss her. I loved you before it was cool, you know.
>>
You lean into kiss her, and she quickly leans in also.

"...Yeah... But I loved you before it was cool..."

Actions.

>...Bath Tumbling? Bath Tumbling.
>...Just extreme embracing. For a long time.
>It was just a quick kiss, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>462656
>...Bath Tumbling? Bath Tumbling.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15 to impress her with your tumbling skills.
>>
Rolled 10 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>462658
>>
Rolled 6 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>462658
>>
10+15=25

Great Success!

You and her begin tumbling inside the bathtub. It's a rather interesting experience, sufficiently said. When the two of you finish up, Khorne decides to come in.

HOLY SHIT YOU ACTUALLY DID IT, YOU FUCKING MAGNIFICENT MAN, YOU FUCKING DID IT.

Oh god... Not now.

Holy shit, we fucking tumbled her? Congrats man.

Thanks?

Yeah, listen... When can I get control of my body again?

Actions.

>...Erh... Not yet, alright?
>...Never, got it?
>...Soon, alright? Just let me say bye.
>I guess I can give you control again.
>Write-In
>>
>>462664
>>I guess I can give you control again.
>>
I guess I can give you control again...

Good.

You are now Renexizious, and your in a bath with that minotaur woman from earlier. Right... She's also sleeping.

Actions.

>Erh... Just leave.
>...Fucking hell, Flames, what do you want me to do with her?
>...Well... Maybe you should sneak her out or something.
>Maybe her father's reasonable.
>Write-In
>>
>>462668
>...Fucking hell, Flames, what do you want me to do with her?
>>
Flames, what do you want me to do with her?

Huh? Oh right... Didn't I say I want her to be my wife?

...It's going to be a matter of time before you descend into bestiality.

SHUT UP ABOUT MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND YOU FUCK!

Jesus, alright.

...TRIGGERED...

That's my thing!

Triggered...

...I hate you all.

Both you and Khorne say Triggered at the same time.

You attempt to get out of the bath, but the minotaur woman... Uh... Crysoula, was it? Grabs your leg, holding it tightly.

Actions.

>...Uh. Could you let go please?
>...What the fuck would Flames do... Probably headpat her, or something.
>...Well... You are always up to just get hugged by a woman, regardless of species.
>...Ice Aura, go!
>Write-in
>>
>>462670
>>...Well... You are always up to just get hugged by a woman, regardless of species.
>>
You decide to just sit down and get hugged by Flame's woman. She has a mean fucking grip. Eventually she wakes up, embarrassed.

"...Erh... Did we just uh..."

"Tumbled?"

"...I guess?"

You grin.

"Oh yeah, we did. From what I s- I mean, it was quite fun."

"...Thanks, I guess."

She hugs you for warmth, as the bathtub drains of water, and you help her out of the bathtub.

"T-Thank you, Flames... That was quite an experience."

Actions.

>Yeah. I am Flames, aren't I?
>...I'm not Flames.
>...You want to go again?
>Come on, I'm getting you out of here, alright?
>...So... Uh. How would you feel like become Flame's wife?
>Write-In
>>
>>462674
>>...So... Uh. How would you feel like become Flame's wife?
>>
"So... Uh. How would you feel like becoming my wife?"

"...W-What? A-are you proposing to me?"

"...I guess?"

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if she will go through with it.
>>
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462678
Remember, kids. God wills it.
>>
>>462680
That's a pretty sad roll.
>>
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>462681
DICE
>>
So, since it's technically a new day in America, if you anons want you can use Barbaric.

>Yes.
>No
>>
>>462682
That's a pretty sad roll.
:'(
>>
>>462683
Yes please.
>>
>>462683
>Yes.
>>
Roll me a 1d20.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>462687
>>
I return to us getting more wives why?????
>>
16

Minor Success!

"Sure... But I don't know if my dad will allow it..."

"Don't worry, I presented an alliance to him. He'll accept."

"...Thank you, Flames... I always wondered what it was like outside this house."

She hugs you, and you pat her on the back.

So... Are we going to tell her that I'm a second head and therefor can't spend much time with her?

Actions.

>...Don't worry, I'll let you spend time with her.
>No, not yet.
>...Yeah, we should probably get that out of the way.
>She won't have to know. We could just say that Flames is my nickname or something.
>Write-In
>>
>>462692
>...Don't worry, I'll let you spend time with her.
>>
>>462692
>>...Don't worry, I'll let you spend time with her.
>>
Don't worry about it. I'll let you spend time with her.

Oh, thanks man!

You return back to reality... Mintoaur wife of Flames in tow.

What the fuck are you going to do now?

>...Erh, let's try to sneak out.
>I'll tell your father and hopefully he'll let you go.
>...I'll just burrow you out of here!
>This is easy, I'll just threaten my way out of here, and you'll follow.
>Write-in
>>
>>462701
>...Erh, let's try to sneak out.
>>
"...Let's try to sneak out, alright?"

"Oh. Alright... Would you mind if I wrote a note though?"

"For what?"

"I just want to make sure he doesn't worry or anything."

"Well... Go ahead, I guess."

"Thank you. It'll take a little bit, Flames."

She leaves you with a small kiss on the check and begins to write something down, while Khorne decides to wake up.

IS RIGHT NOW A GOOD TIME TO ASK WHEN YOU WANT TO TALK TO THE OTHER GODS? SEEMS LIKE WE HAVE A BREAK IN DOING THINGS.

Actions.

>...Can we just wait until we get back home?
>Oh, sure! Are any of the gods wanting to talk to me right now?
>...Could I talk to a god? I have specific one in mind. (Specify)
>Why don't you just do this yourself?
>Go away Khorne, I'm busy waiting.
>Write-In
>>
>>462708
>>Oh, sure! Are any of the gods wanting to talk to me right now?
>>
Uh... Are any of the gods wanting to talk to me right now?

UNLESS YOU WORSHIP THEM THEY CAN'T TALK TO WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT. BUT I THINK FOUR GODS HAVE DISPLAYED INTEREST IN TALKING TO YOU... I THINK ONE'S JUPITER, SECOND ONE IS ODIN, AND THIRD ONE IS FENRIR... AND I THINK THE LAST ONE IS GOD. WHICH IS A PRESUMPTIONS TITLE.

Actions.

>...Uh, can I talk to Fenrir?
>Odin seems cool. Patch me in.
>...I want to see what Jupiter is like.
>...God wants to talk to me? Why can't he just talk to me?
>Yeah, well I have a specific god I want to contact. (Specify Who)
>...I'll hold that off for later.
>Write-In
>>
>>462714
>Odin seems cool. Patch me in.
>>
>>462714
>...God wants to talk to me? Why can't he just talk to me?
Considering hes the god we kinda pissed off the most we probably should talks things out
>>
Waiting ten more minutes anons.
>>
Lets get god in here
>>462714
>>
Erh... Can I talk to the big man? God?

...SURE, CONNECTING AS WE SPEAK.]

A few seconds go by of silence.

...Who is this? I'm busy trying to fish with my son.

It's uh... Me. Renexizious.

...What do you want, my son? You note his voice has no hostility towards you at all, besides the slight delay.

Actions

>Hey... I uh, just wanted to see if I could talk with you a little.
>...Is it wrong to say I didn't really think you existed?
>...Erh, I've got a few questions...
>...I'm not your son.
>Just wanted to tell you to sod off.
>Write-in
>>
>>462726
>Hey... I uh, just wanted to see if I could talk with you a little.
>>
Hey, I uh... Wanted to talk.

About what? you note that his voice is eerily calm...

Actions

>...Well, why don't you talk to me?
>Why do you dislike me?
>...Erh... I'm kind of here to repent for slightly changing your church around, that sort of thing.
>...Sorry about trying to steal the title of God from you.
>Are you angry at me?
>Write-in
>>
>>462726
>Hey... I uh, just wanted to see if I could talk with you a little.
>Write-in
You aren't still mad about the whole usurping your religion thing are you?
>>
>>462731
>Are you angry at me?
Disappointed?
>>
Sorry anons but I'll be back up in a while.
>>
>>462733
This.
>>
>>462731
We should Repent or fake repention or something i don't know but God is a very big ally
>>
>>462744
I'd suggest we stop with the forceful conversion of Catholics to draconian-Catholicism. Not only was that a dick move but it is dumb as fuck.

We should also see about, I dunno, feeding the starving, curing the sick and all that good shit.
>>
>>462814
I don't think that we forced people to convert at gun point or anything. We just endorsed Draconic-Catholicism and showed ourselves as a saint.
>>
>>463052
I remember coming into a thread and we had gave an order to the inquisition, which I think was in regards to converting Sweden by force. I might be wrong...
>>
>>462736
Also Anon, (I think you're the same one from earlier), feel free to put on a name. Most anons don't care, and the rest are dicks. I keep mine on as I'm in a civ thread and don't feel like changing it every second.
>>
Sorry anons, but I think I just slept nearly 24 hours on my day off.
In honor of that, I will be posting in a few minutes.
>>
>>464082
Good for you m8, from your posts relating to work n shit seems you needed it.
>>
So... Are you angry at me?

A little. How are you talking to me?

Well... Magic?

Ah.

...I kind of want to see if I could talk with you a little?

I see no reason not to talk with someone.

You aren't still mad about the whole usurping your religion thing, are you?

Of course I am.

Right... Uh, how?

Well, first of all there's plenty of reasons why your kind tends not to worship me.

Oh... Are you telling me to worship someone else?

I'm simply saying that my faith is too demanding for people like you, and for a dragon it simply is incompatible.

Why are you telling me this?

I believe in free will and honesty, not to mention kindness towards your enemies.

...I'm not your enemy.

Are you? You seem to go against my word, stretch what I have said, change what my mortal servants have done... Even change what they look like.

Actions

>Listen, I'm sorry, alright?
>I guess you kind of are right about the whole dragons simply can't be christian thing.
>...Who exactly is up there in heaven that most people find shocking?
>...I guess I do have a habit of going against you.
>...Could you give me a full list of what exactly I did wrong?
>Yeah, I don't intend on worshiping you for long.
>Write-In
>>
>>464126
>...Could you give me a full list of what exactly I did wrong?
>>
>>464126
>I guess you kind of are right about the whole dragons simply can't be christian thing.
>Yeah, I don't intend on worshiping you for long.

It's what God would want.
>>
>>464126
Other anons should pick, if I try we'll go too deep into the theology and existentialism rabbit hole to stop.
>>
>>464126
>>...I guess I do have a habit of going against you.
>>
Waiting ten more minutes anons.
>>
>>464126
>Write-In
"Look, I am kinda sorry for screwing your religion over but to be fair. It wasn't in the best of shapes when I found it, considering how I returned the holy lands, got the Swiss guard their pay and done a few other such things, can we consider the whole replacing the pope thing repented for?

As to a personal request, can I get a list of all the stuff I've done you dislike? Preferably also a list of anything reasonable I could do to make you happier? So that even if I do decide to convert to another religion I can try to leave Christianity fairly well off."
>>
Could you give me a full list of what exactly I did wrong?

You changed the bible around to suite YOUR views, polygamy, rape, enslaving Christians, trying to get people to think your god, killing and stealing from Christians, mutating the human form, consorting with a vampire, not resisting one of the dark gods... Not being baptized and calling yourself a christian, eating people, tumbling a virgin before marriage... And plenty of very minor sins, such as lying, and swearing of course...

Actions

>Erh... I don't think I can repent for all of that stuff.
>So... How can I repent?
>I think I can explain...
>Thanks... I'll just be going now.
>Well, thanks. I'm going to worship another god now, you uptight bastard.
>Write-In
>>
>>464255
>Thanks... I'll just be going now.

That means he's against us turning Elizabeth into a dragon. Unacceptable.
>>
Thanks... I'll just be going now.

I see.

You go back to your mind.

...So, what did God say?

Stop doing cool shit, basically.

...Well, that blows. We're still worshiping him, right?

Actions.

>...Nope! I hope you've got a good resume ready, because we're going god-hunting. As in searching for a new god or pantheon to worship!
>...Not really... But who needs a god?
>Yeah, we are.
>Write-in
>>
>>464302
>...Nope! I hope you've got a good resume ready, because we're going god-hunting. As in searching for a new god or pantheon to worship!
>>
Nope! We're going god hunting. As in searching for a new god or pantheon to worship!

...I don't really think this is a good idea.

What, why?

Well... Elizabeth is your first wife and she's christian. Not to mention most of our kids are christian. Not to mention Reinhold's a christian. Not to mention that our entire populace is most likely christian.

Actions

>So? Let's look for a different god.
>We'll convert Elizabeth soon enough...
>...Khorne, are you looking for any worshipers?
>That's a good point. I'd rather not get Elizabeth pissed off at me.
>Write-in
>>
>>464335
>Write-in
Ehh no harm in window shopping, besides I'm pretty sure theres a lot of people who follow different theologies at the same time
>>
There's no harm in window shopping, besides I'm pretty sure there's a lot of people who follow different theologies at the same time.

...Alright, I guess.

...RIGHT, SO WHICH GOD DO YOU WANT TO CONTACT NEXT? BY THE WAY, I'M ALWAYS AVAILABLE FOR WORSHIP.[/red

Actions.

>Well, I want to contact Jupiter.
>Put me into contact with Fenrir or whatever.
>I want to talk to Odin.
>...I could worship you.
>Could I just worship myself? Sounds like a lot less work.
>Nah, let's do this later.
>Write-In
>>
>>464365
>Well, I want to contact Jupiter.
>>
>>464365
>Give me the pros and cons of worshipping you Khorne
>>
Why don't you give me the pros and cons of worshiping you Khorne?

That's already a bad idea.

...I GUESS BEING BADASS, KICKASS MUTATIONS, AND SHIT LIKE THAT.

That's fucking vague.

I THINK I ALREADY TOLD YOU THIS SHIT ONCE.

...Well, just put me in contact with Jupiter, alright?

ALRIGHT, I GUESS.

Wh-who is this? You vaguely hear this, followed by a cough. You note that it slightly sounds like you.

Actions.

>Hey... Uh, Jupiter? Can we talk?
>...Are you alright?
>...Jupiter? I want to start worshiping you.
>Erh, wrong god. Sorry.
>Write-In
>>
>>464400
>Hey... Uh, Jupiter? Can we talk?
>>
Hey... Uh, Jupiter? Can we talk?

Sure... W-who are you, first of all?

...I'm Renexizious.

Ah... R-renexizious?

Yep.

W-what do you want to talk about?

Actions.

>What are some pros and cons of worshiping you?
>...Why do you sound kinda like me?
>So... Uh, you know about what I do and stuff? Could you tell me what you like and dislike about me?
>Why are you so... Weak?
>Write-In
>>
>>464443
>...Why do you sound kinda like me?
>Why are you so... Weak?
>>
>>464443
>What are some pros and cons of worshiping you?
>Why are you so... Weak?
>>
>>464452
This.
>>
>>464443
>>...Why do you sound kinda like me?
>>Why are you so... Weak?
>>
Why do you sound like kind of like me?

I was going to ask the same t-thing...

...Right. Well... Why do you sound so weak?

I h-have precisely twelve worshipers. I'm as weak as an ant.

Actions

>...Well, that sucks. Bye!
>...Well, I could worship you...
>Would you mind if I worship you?
>Could you give me a list of things you like or dislike?
>What are some pros and cons of worshiping you?
>...We aren't related, right?
>Write-In
>>
>>464465
>What are some pros and cons of worshiping you?
>>
>>464465
>Could you give me a list of things you like or dislike?
>What are some pros and cons of worshiping you?

So here's what I at least know so far.
>Ren and his family are from a D&D-esque land
>His parents or at least his dad worship Nordic gods
>The Draconic language is the same as Latin
>The Roman god Jupiter sounds just like us
>>
>>464465
>Write-In
>Just twelve? I heard you were on life support but that's even worse than I thought. Anything I can do to help?
I'm not sure if we should pick him, I mean Odin is on the next line, but I feel sorry for the guy.
>>
...Holy shit, just twelve?

...Yeah. I fucking miss Rome. Today's Romans are just... Arabs or whatever... They don't even call themselves Romans... Just Italians.

...What exactly are the pros and cons of worshiping you?

I'm not as picky as that guy who calls himself God, and I don-don't really care what you do... Also, if you do worship me I'd me out of the gu-gutters.

...Right. Anything else?

...Well, I can at least bless you with the stability Rome had while expanding... Though if you want Mars military discipline, you'd w-want to talk to him.

Is he as a weak as you?

By my name, not even close.

Actions.

>...Well, I guess I'll worship you.
>...I'll just be going now.
>...I have Odin on the next line. Sorry.
>Well... I guess I'll contact Mars then.
>Write-In
>>
>>464517
>Well... I guess I'll contact Mars then.

We should start a program in Italy to worship the Roman pantheon and a restoration of Roman ways.
>>
>>464517
>>...I have Odin on the next line. Sorry.
>>
>>464529
Since we're risking a tie, I'm just going to switch to supporting this.
>>
...Well, I guess I'll contact Mars then.

...Damn.

You get Khorne to connect with Mars.

Who the hell is this?

Uh... It's me, Renexizious.

What the fuck do you want?

Actions.

>...Erh, I was seeing about worshipping you.
>...I just talked to your father and he pointed me at you. What exactly happens if I begin to worship you?
>Why are you so hostile towards me?
>...Hi?
>Write-In
>>
>>464555
>>...I just talked to your father and he pointed me at you. What exactly happens if I begin to worship you?
>>Why are you so hostile towards me?
>>
>>464555
>...I just talked to your father and he pointed me at you. What exactly happens if I begin to worship you?
>Why are you so hostile towards me?
>>
Hey uh... Why are you so hostile towards me?

Because you aren't fucking Roman, you northern barbarian!

That can't be helped.

Yeah, well fuck you. Your army is shit, just as shit as the French and can't even fucking go up against Germania.

What the fuck did yo-

Your army are shit! I'd like to see it go up against a trained military force like the Germans, instead of untrained cannon fodder!

...Right. Tell me what happens if I worship you?

...IF I let you worship me, I suppose your officers and generals become much better, and your men are more loyal.

Actions.

>...So will you even let me worship you?
>How can I prove myself to you then?
>What's with the xenophobia?
>...Well, time to contact Odin.
>Write-In
>>
>>464600
>...So will you even let me worship you?

Mention that our armies were lead by a Norwegian autists when they lost.
>>
>>464600
>>...Well, time to contact Odin.
Let's hear what everyone has to say, but I don't think we should decide on anyone now when there are so few people on. It will just lead to the back and forth we had with Khorne.
>>
So, will you even let me worship you?

No, you fucking overgrown manchild! The only reason you've been wining wars is because you personally crushed the opposition!

Isn't that a good thing?

War is about discipline and tactics! Not about personal glory that you want, so get out before I curse you.

Actions.

>...No, I think not.
>Ha! What's your curse then?
>How can I prove myself to you then?
>Quickly contact Odin before this asshole curses you.
>Write-In
>>
>>464623
>Quickly contact Odin before this asshole curses you.
>>
>>464623
>>Quickly contact Odin before this asshole curses you.
>>
You contact Odin quickly.

Erh, hello?

By my beard! Who is this?!

Erh... Renexizious?

Ah! Hello then! This is Asgard!

...Is this specifically Odin?

Of course it is! How can I assist?

I was looking for worship opportunities.

Ah... Well, we have plenty of worship opportunities, and as our motto always says... Ragnarok Is Coming.

...I feel like you got that somewhere.

...No... It's completely original.

Right. Well, I was specifically looking into worshiping you.

Ah, I see! Well, ask away!

Actions.

>...You seem a lot more friendly then the other gods I met.
>...When will Ragnarok be here?
>So, uh... What exactly is like in Asgard?
>...What exactly do I get if I join?
>Write-In
>>
>>464650
>...You seem a lot more friendly then the other gods I met.
>>
>>464650
>...When will Ragnarok be here?
>...What exactly do I get if I join?
>>
>>464650
>...You seem a lot more friendly then the other gods I met.
>...What exactly do I get if I join?
>>
>>464675
This.
>>
You seem a lot more friendly then the other gods I've met.

Well, you remind me of the old times, not to mention you turned Scandinavia into a empire! Plus, you didn't even burn any of our followers like the other Swedish king.

...When will Ragnarok be here?

...Soon? I don't have a clear picture really.

...Right. Well, what exactly do I get if I join you?

Oh, that's easy! If you continue to honor me and my family, you'll easily get into Asgard or Valhalla, so long as you die in battle.

That's it?

Us Norse gods don't intercede on behalf of our followers. If you are looking for a god that tends to help their followers out quite a bit, I'd recommend God, any god of war, the Romans, or those Zoroastrian guys. Just saying, the Zoroastrian guys have a thing for incest.

Actions.

>Erh... I guess I can worship you.
>Sorry, but that just isn't very beneficial to me. Chances are I'm not going to die in battle.
>...Erh... There's only one god left that wants to talk, and that's Fenrir.
>Write-In
>>
>>464705
>>...Erh... There's only one god left that wants to talk, and that's Fenrir.
Odin was cool, but I like having options.
>>
>>464705
>>Thanks for the tips, you're all right Odin
>>...Erh... There's only one god left that wants to talk, and that's Fenrir.
>>
>>464723
This
>>
Thanks for the advice, Odin.

No problem.

Khorne contacts Fenrir next.

...Hello?

...Is this thing working? You hear a slight growl on the other end.

...Fenrir?

Holy shit, it does. Huh. Is this Renexizious?

Yeah, how did you know?

...How wouldn't I know? I can overhear things sometimes from my prison. Anyways, this is Fenrir, bringer of Ragnarok, also son of Loki.

...Ah. What did you want to talk to me about?

Well, uh... Hang on, I'm trying not to break this thing.

...Come on already.

...So uh... Well, might as well ask... could you free me or something? I just want to get out of this prison, please.

Actions

>That is a resounding FUCK NO.
>...Nope, nope, nope.
>...No. Sorry.
>Sure!
>Something is telling me I shouldn't, but why not?
>I think you already know the answer.
>What the hell are you using to talk?
>Write-In
>>
>>464752
>Something is telling me I shouldn't, but why not?
>>
>>464752
>...Nope, nope, nope.
Nope, nope, nope. Do this and we trigger Ragnorak. Odin gets eaten, a ship made of bones will carry the undead, Thor will smite the serpent Jorgmunder and die etc.
>>
>>464752
My advisors tell me that Ragnarok would be bad for the economy, sorry.
>>
>>464752
>>...Nope, nope, nope.
Also, say this >>464762
>>
>>464765
This.
>>
...Sorry, but my advisors tell me Ragnarok would be bad for the economy. Sorry.

...Damn it Fenrir, you ruined it...

Are you talking to yourself?

No, of course not! You hear a nervous laugh on the other side.

...Sure you aren't...

...Well, uh... I promise to not eat all the merchants, alright?

Still a no.

...Damn it. Well, uh... Sorry for wasting your time then.

Actions.

>...Could I ask you a few questions?
>...What exactly happens if I worship you?
>...You know, I bet your an adorable doggo on the other side of this uh... Whatever it is.
>You know, I was expecting you to be a little more feral or Khorne-like.
>Could I ask you a few questions about your mythology? It's quite interesting.
>What exactly is it like being imprisoned for all time?
>...Khorne, you don't think I can get another god in my head, right?
>Hang up and return back to reality.
>Write-In
>>
>>464783
>>You know, I was expecting you to be a little more feral or Khorne-like.
>>Could I ask you a few questions about your mythology? It's quite interesting.
>>
>>464783
>...What exactly happens if I worship you?
>>
>>464783
>Hang up and return back to reality.

He's just going to be killed by one of Odins sons anyways. After the wolf Fenrir swallows Odin he will be confronted by a god whose name I forgot. Said God will then put his foot into the wolfs mouth and proceed to rip him in half.
>>
>>464790
Fine.
>>
You know, I was expecting you to be a little more... Feral or Khorne-like.

...Khorne-like? What's that?

...Angry, I suppose.

Oh. Not really. I'm starving but that's it.

Well... What exactly happens if I worship you?

...Worship me? Well... I don't know, honestly. I won't eat you if you do, I guess

...Right. Would you mind if I asked a few questions about your mythology?

Like what?

Actions.

>...Do you know when you'll get out of your prison?
>Why the hell are you so hungry?
>...Do you feel any ill-will towards the gods?
>Have you ever had anyone worship you?
>So, uh... Will you actually eat Odin when you get out?
>Write-In
>>
>>464816
>...Do you feel any ill-will towards the gods?
>Have you ever had anyone worship you?
>>
>>464816
>...Do you feel any ill-will towards the gods?
>>
...So, do you feel any ill-will towards the gods?

No. I understand why the hell someone would lock me away, honestly.

...Oh. That's good.

Anyways, have you ever had anyone worship you?

No, why would anyone worship me? All I can do is promise not to eat people.

Yeah, to admit that kind of blows.

You see?

Yep.

Anyways, yeah... Uh, listen... Thanks for talking to me. Not a lot of people talk to me.

Actions.

>...Yeah, whatever. Go back to reality.
>No problem. For a starving god that might end the world, your not half bad.
>I'm just going to get someone to worship you to see what happens.
>How often do you talk to people anyways?
>Quickly, tell me... On a scale of one to ten, how good looking is Freya?!
>...So, how exactly do you feel towards Odin?
>How do you feel towards your father, Loki?
>...So, you overhear things from your prison? Any advice to tell me?
>Write-In
>>
>>464829
>...So, you overhear things from your prison? Any advice to tell me?
>>
>>464836
This. Information is always good.
>>
So you overhear things from your prison? Anything to tell me?

...So, you know Sweden?

Yeah?

Well, some guys called the Soldiers of Liberty are cooperating with some guys from
North America... Or something.


Actions.

>...Who the hell are the Soldiers of Freedom?
>What are they planning?
>Anything else?
>Who are they cooperating with?
>Why are you telling this stuff to me?
>Write-In
>>
>>464849
>>...Who the hell are the Soldiers of Freedom?
>>Who are they cooperating with?
>>
>>464849
>>...Who the hell are the Soldiers of Freedom?
>Who are they cooperating with?

I swear to some deity that if Viktor is involved he will be severely punished.
>>
Who the hell are the Soldiers of Freedom?

I don't know. I think they want some more freedom or something, judging from the name.

That's fucking vague.

...Well, sorry, alright?

...It's fine. Who are they cooperating with?

...Something called a corporation... From the independent State of Texas.

...Texas?

Yeah, I think.

Actions.

>...Thank you for telling me this.
>Why the fuck is Texas helping them?
>...But I like Texas...
>Does Texas happen to have fat amounts of loot?
>Do you have any more info?
>Hang up.
>Write-In
>>
>>464877
>Does Texas happen to have fat amounts of loot?
>>
>>464877
>Why the fuck is Texas helping them?
>>
>>464877
>>...Thank you for telling me this.
>>Do you have any more info?
>>
Does Texas happen to have fat amounts of loot?

...I don't know, alright?

You don't know much, do you?

...No, not really.

Why the fuck is Texas helping them anyways?

...Sorry, but I don't know.

...It's fine, alright?

Alright. Uh... Are you going now?

Actions.

>Yeah! I have to do things!
>...Erh, do you have anything else to tell me about?
>...I'm going to bet that your kind of sad that I'm leaving, aren't you?
>No, not yet. Why?
>Write-In
>>
>>464890
>...I'm going to bet that your kind of sad that I'm leaving, aren't you?
>>
>>464890
>>Yeah! I have to do things!
>>But it was nice talking to you, thanks for the tip about the Soldiers of Liberty
>>
>>464890
>Yeah! I have to do things!
>>
I'm going to bet you're kind of sad that I'm leaving, aren't you?

Yeah. I guess I'll hopefully see you again.

Well... It was nice talking to you. Thanks for the tip about the Soldiers of Liberty.

Yeah, no problem.

Actions.

>I'm not going to talk to you again, you know that right?
>...Maybe I'll worship you if I feel like it.
>...I'll talk to you soon, alright?
>...Could you in theory inhabit one of my heads?
>Return to your mind.
>Write-In
>>
>>464907
>>Return to your mind.
Let's not do anything we'll regret later.
>>
>>464907
>Return to your mind.

>>464911
Indeed.
>>
You return to your mind.

So, that was interesting.

FUCK ARES, I'M WAY COOLER THEN THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE.

Wait, you two were listening in?

Yeah, of course we were.

FUCK ARES, I'M COOLER, RIGHT?

Actions.

>Hell yeah, you're way cooler then him, Khorne!
>Don't be dissing Ares, alright?
>Flames, what's your opinion on Ares?
>...Well, what were your guys opinions on them?
>Return to Reality.
>Write-In
>>
>>464932
>>Flames, what's your opinion on Ares?
>>...Well, what were your guys opinions on them?
>>
Before going to sleep I would like to share my two cents on this whole god picking thing withmy fellow anons.

First of, whoever we pick it will be a big deal. Our entire empire is more or less Christian after all and usee converting will come out eventually. Secondly, Odin might not have much to give, but he's cool, he has no problems with what we're doing, and he's one of Ren's father's gods. Thirdly, if we want a benefit then Jupiter's stability is probably the way to go, and even if we don't pick him I really wish we could help the guy out. And lastly, while big G might never be cool with what we're doing, it's not too late to make some amends, and it might help quiet some dissenters if we made a show of doing so.
>>
Flames, what's your opinion on Ares?

I don't like him, but I think the Roman Gods are pretty cool. I think if we want to worship him though, we'll have to actually discipline and train out military, build temples, and probably prove we're just as good as Rome, or we're just the Northern Rome.

...FUCK YOU.

I'm not trying to anger you Khorne, but not everyone wants chaos and mutation.

...Well, what's your opinion on the rest of them, guys?

I think for sanity's sake we should probably remain with God, but sanity's for losers anyways. Jupiter I would go with, if only so we don't have to micromanage our empire and can go on more adventures with more women. Plus, I like the whole idea of making a god indebted to us, since he's really fucking low on numbers. Odin's cool, and I think at the least we shouldn't tax those guys who worship his pantheon, since they're probably most of our soldiers... At the same time, the whole die in battle to go to heaven thing could be taken advantage of for our soldiers, or be a nuisance for our military's discipline. In addition, I think Fenrir MAY be a option.

...What?

...Odin did say Ragnarok might be coming soon. And we live a long time, after all. Besides, I kind of want Khorne to be gone.

WHAT? WHY?

Besides the fact you keep making fucking fun of my girlfriend? Or the fact you want to mutate us?

HEY, FUCK YOU! YOUR THE GUY WITH THE FUCKI-

DON'T YOU EVEN FUCKING TRY TO MAKE FUN OF MY WIFE YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!

Holy shit, calm down Flames.

...Sorry Khorne.

NO PROBLEM FAGGO-[/

I WILL FUCKING TEAR OUT YOUR SPLEEN AND REPLACE IT WITH FUCKING ORANGE JUICE IF YOU FUCKING TRY TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A DEGENERATE!

Actions.

>...Flames, I think your spending a little too much time around Khorne.
>Back on topic people! Khorne, what do you think of them?
>...Replace his spleen with orange juice?
>Reminder to self, never make fun of Flame's wife.
>Write-In
>>
>>464954
>>Back on topic people! Khorne, what do you think of them?
>>
Back on topic people! Kho-

Hang on, I'm not finished. I think we should possibly look into going into that D&D like world, or that Warhammer world, and try to worship one of their gods.

Right... Anyways, Khorne?

I HATE ALL OF THEM FOR VARIOUS REASONS. CHIEFLY BECAUSE THEY AREN'T ME. JUPITER'S FUCKING WEAK, ODIN'S JUST GIVING YOU A GOOD AFTERLIFE IF YOU DIE IN BATTLE, LIKE A MAN SO HE'S ALRIGHT, ARES IS A PRICK, AND FENRIR IS JUST FUCKING THERE.

...So, what exactly do you think of them anyways?

Actions.

>...I prefer Odin.
>I like Jupiter.
>I like Fenrir.
>I like Ares.
>...Fuck, I like all of them.
>...Let's try other gods, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>465021
>>...Fuck, I like all of them.
>>...Let's try other gods, alright?
We should see about helping Jupiter and keeping Fenrir some company. Odin and Ares seem well-off.
>>
>>465021
I like odin. But maybe i should become a god myself
>>
Gonna bump for later, I'll be back in a while to count votes.
>>
>>465028
This. Nothing compelling over what we have already (which is why anons have a problem with Khorne tagging along and trying to make us his apostle). Wouldn't want to do anything that might draw an actual god's ire though... Like if we claim to be a god and start poaching the christian god or asgard's worshipers jesus or thor might beat us up.
>>
Ba-Bump! Waiting two more hours!
>>
>>465021
>>...I prefer Odin.
>>I like Jupiter.
>But maybe we should give it more thought.
>>
...Well, maybe I should become a god myself...

That's fucking edgy.

I GUESS I CAN PROVIDE A FEW TIPS...

...Then how are new gods created?

WELL, BY FAITH REALLY. AND IT TAKES SHITLOADS TO DO IT.

...What exactly happens?

WELL... THERE IS THREE WAYS TO BECOME A GOD I SUPPOSE. BUT THEY TEND TO BE UNPRACTICAL.

...Like what?

ABSORB ENOUGH CELESTIAL POWER, ALSO KNOWN AS FAITH, AND HOPE WHEN YOU DIE THAT YOU HAVE ENOUGH TO BECOME A GOD. OR, HAVE A EXTRAORDINARILY KIND, OR GENEROUS GOD GIVE YOU ENOUGH. SECOND OF ALL YOU COULD TRY TO SLAY A FEW GODS FOR THEIR POWER, BUT THAT SHIT REALLY HASN'T BEEN DONE BEFORE AND IT'S KIND OF A UNWRITTEN RULE THAT YOU'LL GET YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU FOR SHIT LIKE THAT, AND GOOD LUCK SURVIVING FOR A PROLONGED PERIOD OF TIME, SINCE AT FIRST NO ONE WORSHIPS YOU, ALL THE GODS WILL BLOCK YOUR SHIT, AND YOU'LL BE OSTRACIZED. THIRD WAY IS JUST TO JUST HOPE THAT A GOD LIKES YOU A ENOUGH TO KEEP YOU AROUND AS A PERSONAL CHAMPION AND YOU WORK YOUR WAY UP FROM THERE. IT WOULD TAKE A VERY LONG TIME, BUT WOULD BE QUITE EASY.

Actions.

>...Well, never mind then.
>...How about getting faith? I have a few personal worshipers of me.
>...Any advice for getting a god to like me enough to grant me godhood?
>Well, how about slaying a few gods?
>...Personal champion, eh?
>What are the pros and cons of godhood?
>Write-In
>>
>>465218
>>...How about getting faith? I have a few personal worshippers of me.
>>What are the pros and cons of godhood?
>>
>>465218
>>...How about getting faith? I have a few personal worshipers of me.
>>What are the pros and cons of godhood?
>>
How about getting faith? I have a few personal worshippers of me.

...YEAH, GOOD LUCK GETTING ENOUGH IN YOUR WORLD'S DAY AND AGE.

...What?

WELL, RELIGIOUS APATHY, THE POWER OF OTHER MAJOR RELIGIONS, AND GENERAL DIFFICULTY IS PRETTY MUCH A GOOD LAUGH RIGHT THERE. YOU WOULD ALONE, NEED MOST OF EUROPE, ASIA, AND AFRICA TO WORSHIP YOU TO EVEN BECOME A DEITY OF EXTREME MINOR IMPORTANCE. LIKE A DEITY OF FUCKING BUTTER.

...Hhmmh... Butter... Oh, hang on. What are the pros and cons of godhood?

LONELINESS, AND YOU CAN'T REALLY SPEND TIME ON EARTH UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET KILLED BY A MORTAL OR A GOD.

...That's it?

HANG ON, I'M NOT DONE. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT EVEN IF SOMEONE WON'T KILL YOU, YOU'LL HAVE TO GO BACK TO... WHEREVER IT IS TO RECHARGE.

...Wherever it is?

YEAH. IF YOU ACTUALLY DO WANT TO GET IN THE DEITY BUSINESS, IT'S HARD IF YOU AREN'T THE SON OR DAUGHTER OF SOMEONE IMPORTANT.

Actions.

>...Oh shit, nevermind.
>...So, what about the other options?
>Could I in theory join a pre-existing pantheon?
>Well... How many worshipers do I need?
>Could I just become a god on another world and come here?
>How do I make it easier to become a god?
>Write-In
>>
>>465256
>>Could I in theory join a pre-existing pantheon?
>>How do I make it easier to become a god?
I'm suspecting in the end it will turn out that it's too hard to bother with, but let's keep asking questions for now.
>>
Could I in theory join a pre-existing pantheon?

...I GUESS, THOUGH THAT WOULD COST A BIT LESS, PROBABLY JUST EUROPE AND AFRICA FOR THE MINOR GOD PART.

...How do I make it easier to become a god?

...I'M ONLY TELLING YOU THIS BECAUSE I'M HONEST. WIPE TECH BACK TO ABOUT... MEDIEVAL ERA AND YOU'LL GET THE EASIER RESULTS. OF COURSE OTHER RELIGIONS WILL POP UP. OR IF A GOD WITH THE RIGHT SPHERE FELT LIKE IT, HE COULD MAKE SOMETHING YOU DO GENERATE CELESTIAL POWER.

...Will you?

LISTEN, WE'RE FRIENDS BUT I WOULDN'T HELP YOU EVER BECOME A GOD. NO WAY. NOTHING PERSONAL.

Actions.

>I understand.
>...So, you said gods have to recharge... Do you have to recharge soon? And how long does it take?
>Why?
>What? Do you think I'd steal your job or something?
>...I'd just spend my days eating butter... And caressing my precious, of course. Which is butter.
>Godhood sounds kind of boring, to be honest.
>...Could I in theory, raise Elizabeth to godhood? Or goddesshood??
>Write-In
>>
>>465274
>>I understand.
Well, might bring back Jupiter and have him help us out, or join Odin for this. Probably easier with Odin since he actually has followers. Any other lurkers who have thoughts? Because I do not feel right making a decision on something this big alone.
>>
>>465274
>I understand.
>...So, you said gods have to recharge... Do you have to recharge soon? And how long does it take?
>>
I understand, don't worry.

YEAH.

Anyways, when do you need to recharge?

WELL, I MIGHT HAVE TO GO SOON. PROBABLY IN LIKE, TWO DAYS.

Oh shit.

Actions.

>...Is there any way you can stay longer?
>You should probably go so you can conserve strength. And stop pissing off Flames.
>Well... I hope you've been entertained traveling on Renexizious Flights!
>When will you be able to talk to me again? Just wondering.
>Write-In
>>
>>465308
>So how do I keep tzeench and the whore out while you're gone?
>>
>>465308
>So how do I keep tzeench and the whore out while you're gone?
>>
>>465274
>Godhood sounds kind of boring, to be honest.
>...So, you said gods have to recharge... Do you have to recharge soon? And how long does it take?


My opinion is thus, we should remove the taxation of certain (Norse / Roman, however worshippers of Ares will still see the tax, because fuck him) non-christian religions.

We should also see about the other religions available to us. I hope that we can worship more than one set of gods at a time, it'd simplify this whole problem.
>>
So, how do I keep Tzeentch and the whore out?

...WELL, SHIT. I FORGOT ABOUT THEM. TALK TO THAT WITCH-HUNTER GUY, I GUESS. IT SHOULDN'T TAKE MORE THEN THREE YEARS FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO COMPLETELY BLOCK THEM OFF.

...THREE YEARS?!

YEAH. SORRY.

Actions.

>...Fuuuucckkkk. Well, maybe this won't be so bad.
>...Fuck, say a prayer for me, will you Khorne?
>Please recharge faster, so I don't have to deal with corruption and ship.
>...Well, there goes the plan of tolerance.
>Does atheism drive them out?
>Write-In
>>
>>465308
>You should probably go so you can conserve strength. And stop pissing off Flames.
>Well... I hope you've been entertained traveling on Renexizious Flights!
>So how do I keep tzeench and the whore out while you're gone?
>>
>>465327
>Write-In
"Are there any ways for me to accelerate your recovery? Anything I can do to delay their arrival or to slow their spreading influence?"
>>
...Are there any ways to accelerate your recovery? Anything I can do to delay their arrival or their influence?

...FUCK, TZEENTCH WOULD PROBABLY KNOW. I WOULD JUST SAY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM.

Right... You aren't good at cults, are you?

...NOT AT SECRET ONES.

With that, he fades a little.

FUCK, IF YOU WANT TO CHOSE A GOD YOU MIGHT WANT TO DO IT SOON.

...Oh fuck. Should I start the list of possible conspirators against the realm, and accidentally put my name on it?

Actions.

>...Why would you put your name on it on accident?
>...Get the list ready.
>Well, first we have to rescue your girlfriend.
>...Shit, you must quickly decide!
>Write-In
>>
>>465332
>Well, first we have to rescue your girlfriend.
>>
>>465332
>...Why would you put your name on it on accident?
>Well, first we have to rescue your girlfriend.
>...Get the list ready.
>>
Well, first we have to rescue your girlfriend. Besides, why would your name get on it?

To fuck with you for implying I had bestali-

Anyways, get the damned list ready.

You return back to reality with the minotauress finally finishing the note. You also feel very stressed out... Why the hell didn't Khorne mention this earlier?

"What's wrong Flames? You look worried."

Actions.

>Oh. Uh... Flames, you might want to talk to her a little.
>...Probably should mention you're Renexizious now. Not Flames. She can still talk to him, he's your second head after all.
>Not now, we have to escape after all.
>If she's Flames new semi-official wife, you might want to destress a little. Probably by ranting about chaos gods and shit.
>...You wouldn't be willing to help me destress for a little bit, right? As in, tumble?
>...Where's my chiton?
>...You wouldn't happen to have a stash of butter, would you?
>Write-In
>>
>>465364
>Oh. Uh... Flames, you might want to talk to her a little.
>...Where's my chiton?
>>
>>465373
2nding
>>
Uh. Flames, you might want to talk to her a little.

...Can I do it in your head?

...Why?

Well... Women don't really go with second heads, alright?

You find your chiton in the bathroom, and put it on.

Actions.

>Come on, mention you're just a second head. She's not attracted to you because she thinks your powerful or anything.
>Just use your fucking head, not mine.
>...Fine, I guess.
>So long as you tell me the recipe to that fucking bubble bath thing, it's good.
>Write-In
>>
>>465386
>...Fine, I guess.
>So long as you tell me the recipe to that fucking bubble bath thing, it's good.
>>
Fine, I guess. Just tell me the recipe to your fucking bubble bath or whatever/

Oh, that? I'll tell you after I talk to her, alright?

...Fine.

You give him control of your head for a while, and he begins talking to her about... Something. You don't particularly care.

Right, done. Let's get going.

What's the recipe?

...Well, some soap, tap water, a few grapes, roses, cleaner, and Zyklon B.

Actions.

>...You're fucking kidding me.
>...The elves would love that, wouldn't they?
>...This isn't real, is it?
>Isn't that poisonous?
>I don't even know.
>Guess that's how it cleans fur and scales. We should sell it!
>How... How fuck did you find that in a woman's bathroom?
>Write-In
>>
>>465386
>>Come on, mention you're just a second head. She's not attracted to you because she thinks your powerful or anything.
Maybe even let flames pretend he's first head for a little while.
>>
>>465405
>>How... How fuck did you find that in a woman's bathroom?
>>
>>465405
>How... How fuck did you find that in a woman's bathroom?
>>
...How... How the fuck did you find that in a woman's bathroom?

He starts laughing.

I just used some fucking shampoo, I'm just messing with you.

That was a shitty joke.

So? I got a laugh at least. Come on, let's get her out of here.

You open the door out of the room, and see a few ways you can just get out...

>...Make a beeline for the front door!
>...She can probably get out through the window, right?
>...Let's hope that no one notices the Archon's daughter in a helot's uniform.
>...Burrow out of here, of course. Though where you'll end up is a bit of a mystery.
>...There's a... Laundry shoot. Maybe you can get down that and out through the servant's quarters?
>Write-In
>>
Bumping anons
>>
>>465431
>...Make a beeline for the front door!
>>
>>465431
>>...Burrow out of here, of course. Though where you'll end up is a bit of a mystery.
had dinner, and will be off a while now.
people, stop lurking and start forming opinions, you sheep!
>>
Waiting five more minutes anons.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Beeline!
2=Burrow!
>>
Roll me a 1d20-4 to see if you are detected!
>>
Rolled 15 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>465561
>>
15-4=11

Minor Failure!

You rush out, barely managing to get outside. You're fairly sure the father saw you, but as you rush outside Kryos is taking a nap with a piece of paper on his chest. As you glance behind, you see the Archon staring at you, making virtual daggers at you.

Actions

>...Wake Kryos up.
>...Well, time to move it. You might of made an enemy.
>...Right, might want to make sure this doesn't jeopardize the alliance.
>Yell back that you'll take good care of her.
>Write-In
>>
>>465582
>...Well, time to move it. You might of made an enemy.
>Yell back that you'll take good care of her.
>>
I'll take good care of her!

The Archon yells something back, mostly swear words. You quickly flee, leaving Kryos behind. Eventually you make it behind a alleyway, and you hear shouting.

Actions.

>...Go back for Kryos!
>Kryos can handle himself, just find a place to lay low!
>...Well, try to burrow out of the city! If they find you, it could be a little... Hard.
>Shapeshift into dragon form and fly away. This will most likely be construed as a sign of aggression by the city states...
>Write-In
>>
>>465627
>...Go back for Kryos!
>>
Realizing you left Kryos behind, you turn around and yell back for the minotauress to stay here. You rush around the corner, where four armed guards are surrounding Kryos, who's just sleeping. The guards don't really know what to do, and the Archon's yelling for them to go after you.

Actions.

>...Well, no need to cause a diplomatic incident. Use your fisticuffs to engage in a fist-fight.
>...Yell for Kryos to wake up.
>No need to play fair. Yell for Flames to incinerate the guards and the Archon. Of course, it might harm Kryos. (Body, HARD)
>Ice breath? Ice breath. (Body, HARD)
>Spit acid at one of their faces! (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>465657
>...Well, no need to cause a diplomatic incident. Use your fisticuffs to engage in a fist-fight.
>>
You bring out your fisticuffs against the four guards. They don't seem to notice you until you sneak up behind one of them.

Actions.

>...Hit one over the head. (Body)
>Just push him into your enemies to scatter them! (Body)
>...Get really into his face, and terrify him. (Intimidation)
>...Grab him. (Body, HARD)
>Punch him in the gut! (Body)
>Try to grab the firearm! (Agility)
>Write-In
>>
>>465692
>Just push him into your enemies to scatter them! (Body)
>>
>>465692
>>Just push him into your enemies to scatter them! (Body)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15
>>
Rolled 7 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>465735
>>
Rolled 8 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>465735
>>
Waiting five more minutes anons.
>>
8+15=23

Minor Success!

You push the guard... Now, where exactly do you push him to?

>Push him into the other guards, like you planned!
>...Push him into a hopefully angry minotaur, Kryos.
>Push him into the Archon!
>Push him to the ground!
>Write-In
>>
>>465800
>Push him into the other guards, like you planned!
>>
You push him into the other guards, slightly staggering him into them. They are slightly distracted.

Actions.

>Follow up with punch to their faces! (Body)
>...Body slam? Body slam. (Body, HARD)
>Try to disarm them! (Body
>Grab one! (Body)
>Insult them, of course! (Charisma)
>...Intimidate time. All the eyes are on you now, of course. (Intimidation)
>Write-In
>>
>>465827
>>...Body slam? Body slam. (Body, HARD)
>>
>>465831
This.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15 to BODY SLAM.
>>
Rolled 7 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>465843
>>
Rolled 16 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>465843
SLAM JAM
>>
16+15=31

Overwhelming Success!

You bodyslam the shit out of the four guards, and they struggle to get out. The Archon is also under the pile of his goons.

Actions.

>...Well, might as well explain to the Archon that Flames fucked his daughter and is planning on marrying her.
>...Probably should tell the Archon that you're sorry, or at least explain WHY your basically helping his daughter elope.
>...See if you can't just outright crush them. (Body)
>...Probably should yell for them to stop resisting. (Intimidation)
>...Fire? Fire. (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>465884
>>...Well, might as well explain to the Archon that Flames fucked his daughter and is planning on marrying her.
And yell for them to stop resisting.
>>
>>465884
>>...Well, might as well explain to the Archon that Flames fucked his daughter and is planning on marrying her.
Do that honor shit, maybe he likes it. You've just shown we're worthy right? both sneaky, charming and BODYSLAM
>>
>>465884
>...Well, might as well explain to the Archon that Flames fucked his daughter and is planning on marrying her.
>>
Stop resisting! My second head Flames just fucked your daughter and is planning on marrying her!

"By the gods, I already know this!"

...What?

"I was trying to thank you!"

...You sent your guards after me though.

"If I sent my guards after you in order to kill you, then you'd be under gun fire, after all! I wanted you to come back!"

You seemed angry though...

"I can barely run in my age!"

...Oh. Did I hurt your back?

"...Actually, I think you popped it."

Actions.

>...This is awkward.
>So... Why exactly are you alright with this?
>...Erh... Sorry about pinning you to the ground then...
>Should I just uh... Get going now?
>You want to say your goodbyes to your daughter then?
>Write-In
>>
>>465927
>Should I just uh... Get going now?

This never happened...
>>
>>465927
>>...This is awkward.
>Flames, clean your mess dammit
>>
>>465927
>You want to say your goodbyes to your daughter then?
Ask him why he's alright with this.
>>
>>465978
This
>>
"...You want to say your goodbyes to your daughter then? Why the hell are you alright with this?"

"I'll tell you inside, alright?"

You let him up from the pinned guards, and he orders his guards away. You motion for Chrysoula to come quickly to avoid attention, and you go inside.

"...So, tell me."

"...Chrysoula, please wait in the library."

"Y-Yes father..." She seems a little ashamed.

"...You won't believe how long I've been looking for a suitor. I'm desperate, and I can't have liabilities such as rumors about my daughter floating around. Not to mention that she has to see the outside world at some time. I just have one request of you... That you do not mention she is my daughter to anyone else, and the marriage is unofficial, got it?"

Actions.

>...Sure, I suppose.
>...I want it to get officiated.
>You think of your own daughter as a liability?
>This is weird. No.
>Write-In
>>
>>466010
>>...Sure, I suppose.
but
>>...I want it to get officiated.
we can do that at our country
>>
>>466010
>...Sure, I suppose.
>>
>>466010
>Write-In
"As far as anyone is concerned she'll be of common blood, no relation to you but the marriage will be officiated. That can be done in sweden to avoid suspicion.

However if you happened to visit me for diplomatic reasons... she will possibly be present."
>>
"Sure, I suppose... But I want to get it officiated in Sweden."

"...No specific names or anything, got it? I can't be connected to her."

"Well, if you visit for diplomatic reasons, she'll present."

"Is that a bad thing? I want to see my daughter once in a while. Hopefully once Greece is mine, we can drop the obfuscation on her being my daughter."

"Right."

"Now, if you'll excuse me... I must prepare my daughter to travel back with you."

"No problem."

Kryos stumbles in not too long after the man leaves.

"...What's going on?"

Actions.

>...Did you know the Archon's daughter is a minotaur?
>...I may or may not of tumbled a minotaur. Well, not me. Flames.
>...Flame's getting his first wife! I'm so proud of him.
>...How was the nap?
>Write-In
>>
>>466118
>>...Flame's getting his first wife! I'm so proud of him.
>>
>>466118
>>...Flame's getting his first wife! I'm so proud of him.
>>...How was the nap?
>>
>>466118
>...Flame's getting his first wife! I'm so proud of him.
>...How was the nap?
>>
>>466118
>...Flame's getting his first wife! I'm so proud of him.
>...How was the nap?
>>
"Flame's getting his first wife, I'm so proud of him!"

"...Flames?"

He's my second head."

"Yo, what's up K-man!"

"Why the fuck did you introduce yourself like ghetto trash?"

"...I don't know. It sounded cool."

He looks extremely puzzled.

"Am I still asleep?"

"Nope. How was the nap?"

"Good... It took you a long whil-"

"I was busy. With uh... Things."

"...I'm somewhat confused, but no matter. What exactly did you do while I napped? And who's the lucky girl?"

Actions.

>...I hanged out with a fuzzy minotauress.
>Flames, tell him about your inter-special thing.
>Huh? Oh, the Archon's daughter.
>...Flames may or may not be on a quest to tumble any female of any race. I'm not sure yet.
>Write-In
>>
>>466180
>Huh? Oh, the Archon's daughter.
>>
>>466180
>>Flames, tell him about your inter-special thing.
let's not mention how she's the Archon's daughter
>>
Waiting five more minutes anons
>>
>>466180
>...I hanged out with a fuzzy minotauress.
>Flames, tell him about your inter-special thing.
>...Flames may or may not be on a quest to tumble any female of any race. I'm not sure yet.
>>
>>466180
>>Huh? Oh, the Archon's daughter.
>>Flames, tell him about your inter-special thing.
>>
Well, Flames, tell him about your inter-species thing.

"We may of uh... Tumbled with a minotaur."

"Oh. Right. In the Archon's home?"

"Yep."

Fuck you Flames.

What?

A few minutes go by, and Chrysoula comes back out, dressed in armor and carrying a bag.

"What's with the miltaristic look?"

"...Dad's worried about me, so he told me to put on this armor."

"How is armor going to stop bullets?"

"It's enchanted by a priest of Hephaestus, so bullets probably won't harm me. Probably."

Actions.

>...Right, well let's get going.
>Come on, you don't need armour. Just wear what you usually wear.
>...Flames, I can sense you want to say something to her. What is it, so I can tell her and not alert her to the fact that your a second head?
>...Oooh... How much does that armour cost?
>Write-In
>>
>>466329
>...Right, well let's get going.
>>
>>466329
>>...Flames, I can sense you want to say something to her. What is it, so I can tell her and not alert her to the fact that your a second head?
>>
>>466329
>...Flames, I can sense you want to say something to her. What is it, so I can tell her and not alert her to the fact that your a second head?
>...Right, well let's get going.
>>
"Right, well, let's get going, shall we?"

...I sense you want to tell her something. What is it?

...Just uh... Could you tell her she looks beautiful in her armour? Oh, and especially her horns!

Actions.

>...No, Goddamn it Flames.You do it yourself.
>...Fine, I guess.
>Flames, just tell her you're a head already.
>Fine, but only this once, alright?
>...I'm not going to do this every ten seconds, alright?
>I have a personal suggestion to add to this compliment. (Specify)
>Write-In
>>
>>466383
>Fine, but only this once, alright?

What color is her fur?
>>
>>466391
Brown, anon.

...Fine, but only this once. I'm tired of being a courier between the two of you.

Thank's Renexizious! This means the world to me!

You turn to the heavily-armor clad minotaur, and prepare to say thine lines.

Actions.

>...Fuck it. Channel your inner russian accent, you'll do this like how Shakespear does it.
>...Flames must be humbled before thine master. Add more compliments to what he wants you to say.
>...Goddamn, the things you do for fucking Flames... Add a kiss to the hand. Like a true wingman.
>...Just say it, damn it.
>...Say it lazily.
>Write-In
>>
>>466457
>>...Goddamn, the things you do for fucking Flames... Add a kiss to the hand. Like a true wingman.
taking the middle ground
>>
>>466457
>...Goddamn, the things you do for fucking Flames... Add a kiss to the hand. Like a true wingman.
>>
>>466457
>...Goddamn, the things you do for fucking Flames... Add a kiss to the hand. Like a true wingman.
>>
You sigh. Goddamn it. Actually, can you say that word since you stopped worshiping god now? Eh, who cares?

...Chrysoula? I must say, you look amazing in your armour... It particularly looks good arond your horns.

You kiss her on the hand, and she blushes and stammers. You continue on, and spit out a slight amount of fur. Kryos on the otherhand, doesn't give a shit and continues writing while you leave the city.

Actions.

>...Might as well talk to Flames.
>Make up your mind on what god to worship.
>Kryos, what are you writing?
>...Probably should talk to the minotauress back there. You'll have to share a bed together, after all.
>Timeskip to leaving.
>Write-In
>>
>>466508
>Kryos, what are you writing?
>...Probably should talk to the minotauress back there. You'll have to share a bed together, after all.


As to the whole debate regarding the gods, we should really sit down and talk with the rest of the religions like tengri. Just to measure our options and to see if we can't get an "alliance of gods" against the chaos gods.
>>
>>466508
>Write-In
Go to the Archon and see if there are any minotaur prisoners we can have. Conduct experiments on him for science of course.
>>
>>466526
Switching to this.
>>
You quickly back-peddle, and after some communication with the Archon, you get four minotaur helots. What a deal!

On your way back you decide to talk to Kryos.

"So, what are you writing?"

"Scholarly studies about a dragon, of course."

"Make sure to get my good side, right?"

"Right...Anyways, I'm fucking exhausted again."

He yawns.

"You just took a nap though!"

"And? It's nice to sleep on land."

"Well, I'm not slowing down for you, so hurry up!"

"I know. But uh... Why exactly did you get the woman to follow us?"

Actions.

>...It's Flames thing, alright?
>...Listen, don't tell Flames but she's not half bad looking.
>Well, I just wanted to piss off the Archon.
>Why don't you ask Flames?
>...Positive vibes?
>Write-In
>>
>>466636
>...It's Flames thing, alright?
>...Listen, don't tell Flames but she's not half bad looking.
>>
"It's Flame's thing, alright? Listen... Don't tell Flames, but she's not half bad looking... For a minotaur after all."

"...Right. Well, I can only wonder what the next progression is."

"Honestly, I like any and all women, doesn't matter if they have scales, fur, flesh, or are even living!"

"...Not even li-"

"MOVING ON, so what do you think of her anyways?"

"Erh... Young, I guess. She's also armored."

Actions.

>What, no interest in her?
>Well, that's nice.
>...Well, I can tell you where the slippy slope will end for me at least.
>That's fucking vague.
>Yeah, stop talking.
>Write-In
>>
>>466697
>What, no interest in her?
>>
>>466697
>What, no interest in her?
>>
>>466697
>>What, no interest in her?
>>
>>466697
>What, no interest in her?
>>
"What, no interest in her?"

"...Not really, no."

"...How?"

"...Fine, she's kind of cute, alright?"

"Knew it."

"Yeah... I guess she's cute, alright?"
You note that he's abnormally stoic on that answer.

Actions.

>...Something tells me you aren't telling me the whole truth.
>Yeah, what do you particularity like about her? I can totally tell you what I like about her the most...
>...What's with the stoicism?
>...This really isn't your business.
>Write-In
>>
>>467592
>...Something tells me you aren't telling me the whole truth.
>>
>>467592
>...Something tells me you aren't telling me the whole truth.
>>
"Something tells me you aren't telling me the whole truth."

"I am, alright?"

"...Really?"

"I'm not gay, if that's what your saying."

"You seemed uninterested in her when I mentioned how she looks."

"I'm just not too interested in women, alright? I'm stoic. I have bigger things on my mind."

Actions.

>A likely story. I still doubt it.
>...Fine, I guess.
>...Stoic's just a codename for virgin who can't get laid.
>Right... Well, since I haven't seen you look at men in lust, I'll assume you aren't gay or bisexual.
>Write-In
>>
>>467647
>...Stoic's just a codename for virgin who can't get laid.
>>
"Stoic's just a codename for virgin who can't get laid."

He looks a little pissed off at you.

"Right. At least I have more free time then you and I don't have to talk to women every twenty seconds about feelings or something."

Actions.

>...Yeah, you're a fucking loser. Congratulations.
>Calm down, I just pointed out the obvious.
>What, have you never wanted a woman before?
>Let me just debunk those... (Specify)
>...Come on, let's just get going back to the ship, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>467667
"So you're telling me I'm not busy, jumping between dimensions? Nevermind that. I just wanted to know if you'd like to settle down after all this Greece nonsense."
>>
>>467667
This >>467690
>>
"So you're telling me I'm not busy, jumping between dimensions? Nevermind that, I just wanted to know if you'd like to settle down after all this Greece nonsense."

"No, not really."

"Yeah."

You stop talking to him, and decide to talk to... Well, the minotauress.

"What is it, Flames?"

"Huh? Oh..."

Actions.

>...Uh, you know that Flame's just my second head, right?
>...So, you might be sharing a bed with another person. And sometimes a third person... And possibly a fourth person at times.
>...So, do you know anything useful?
>For a minotauress, you're quite good looking.
>...So, just wondering... You like cold environments, right?
>Write-In
>>
>>467721
>...Uh, you know that Flame's just my second head, right?

We're going to have deal with this sooner or later. We may as well get it done with now.
>>
>>467721
>...Uh, you know that Flame's just my second head, right?
>>
"...So, you know that Flame's just my second head, right?"

"...What?"

The fuck are you doing?!

Dealing with a problem before it starts.

"Yeah... So, you aren't actually in love with a full-on dragon. Just a dragon head."

"...How does that even work?"

"I don't even know."

"...Is he in that head right now?"

"Yes?"

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see how well she deals with this.
>>
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>467761
Please be a 20
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>467761
>>
Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>467761
>>
>>467761
>>467785
Can we use Barbaric?
>>
File: WhyEvenLive.jpg (53 KB, 720x720)
53 KB
53 KB JPG
>>467785
Anons, use barbaric?

>Yes.
>No.
>>
>>467798
Y
>>
>>467798
Yes


We aren't losing him his girl, even if we have to make love potions and all that shit to do it.
>>
Roll me a 1d20.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>467807
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>467807
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>467807
>>
I think the dice might be thinking it's a slot machine today.

10

"...Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

"Heat of the moment?"

"...You could of at least mentioned it."

"Well... I didn't really want to bring it up."

"...I kind of understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah... But please never lie to me again, alright?"

"...I swear I won't."

"...Thanks."

Flames starts talking to his unofficial wife about some things, though he seems to be rather pissed off at you now.

Actions.

>...Maybe you should help Flames out. A little lust pheromone goes a long way. Though this might also effect Kryos.
>...Flames, I have some advice for you instead of just talking it out...
>The two of you are an alright couple.
>Sorry for spilling the beans, Flames.
>Just get to the docks and leave.
>>
>>467871
>>...Maybe you should help Flames out. A little lust pheromone goes a long way. Though this might also effect Kryos.
I'm calling it right now. Kryos has no balls.
>>
>>467871
>...Maybe you should help Flames out. A little lust pheromone goes a long way. Though this might also effect Kryos.

After this I think we should leave after this. We did accomplished a lot of stuff in Greece. We made a political alliance, found a girl for flames and got Minotaur test experiments. Although I am somewhat curious of the Kobolds mentioned earlier.
>>
Roll me a 1d20 to see if it works.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>467925
>>
Waiting five more minutes for rolls.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>467925
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>467925
>>
14

Borderline Failure!

You release your lust pheromone, but all that comes out of it is Flames and Chrysoula briefly exchanging a kiss. Kryos seems unaffected but anxious. That could of gone a lot better.

You eventually get to the docks, and prepare to leave Greece behind, and return back to Stockholm.

Is there anything you want to do on the ship?

Actions.

>Timeskip to arriving back in Stockholm.
>Probably should talk to Kryos a little. Maybe about his lack of lust.
>You should probably apologize to Flames.
>...You only have one day left to chose a god before Khorne leaves. Probably should get started on that.
>Probably should go talk to Chrysoula about something.
>Write-In
>>
>>467996
>Timeskip to arriving back in Stockholm.
>>
>>467996
>Timeskip to arriving back in Stockholm.

After this are we going to have a NEQ?
>>
>>467996
Ask Khorne how to kill a god. Might be useful in the future
>>
>>468029
Tomorrow anon, tomorrow.

As you return back to Stockholm, you feel Khorne leave your head. Which actually helps clear up a few of your thoughts.
You eventually land in Stockholm's docks, and begin to walk back to the palace... There, you tell Chrysoula to just not get into trouble. Kryos goes off to do his own thing. And you are left alone, right in the middle of the day.

Actions.

>...You have minotaur prisoners... Well, time for SCIENCE! (Alchemy, VERY HARD)
>...Probably should make sure Frankizka's fine. You've been gone for nearly a week now.
>...You need some personal time. Just head to bed, maybe Frankizka's there...
>You know... You should probably see if that elven bodyguard has arrived yet.
>Julius should be here... Maybe you should deal with his whole vampirism thing. If you can.
>You need to continue the fight against Claw's Autism.
>Weren't you working on another mutagen for Elizabeth?
>Well... Time to manage your realm. Start looking through records and talk to people to see what's been going on in your abstinence.
>Write-In
>>
>>468041
This.
>>
>>468052
>...Probably should make sure Frankizka's fine. You've been gone for nearly a week now.
She hasn't fed in a while.
>>
>>468052
>...Probably should make sure Frankizka's fine. You've been gone for nearly a week now.

After this we should manage our kingdom. I don't even remember the last time checked up on and updated our military.
>>
>>468052
>>...Probably should make sure Frankizka's fine. You've been gone for nearly a week now.
>>Julius should be here... Maybe you should deal with his whole vampirism thing. If you can.
Also bring Frankizka with you to see if she can help
>>
>>468072
Oh, this.
>>
You decide to find Frankizka. She seems to be somewhat isolated, being in your bed after all.

"Frankizka?"

"...Ren? You're back?"

"Yep."

"Thank Sigmar... I was getting a little thirsty."

"...Oh shit, right. I forgot about your vampirism thing."

"Yeah. Not to mention you taste delicious..."

Actions

>...Aw, thanks! You humans also taste delicious! Especially with butter!
>...That's a little concerning.
>Come on, suck some of my blood already. (Body)
>...So, what have you been up to while I was gone?
>How's the realm doing? I'm somewhat afraid of looking at it right now.
>...You'll need to help me later with Julius's vampire thing.
>Write-In
>>
>>468084
>Come on, suck some of my blood already. (Body)
>...You'll need to help me later with Julius's vampire thing.
>>
>>468084
>Come on, suck some of my blood already. (Body)
>...You'll need to help me later with Julius's vampire thing.
>>
>>468084
>>...Aw, thanks! You humans also taste delicious! Especially with butter!
>Come on, suck some of my blood already. (Body)
>>
>>468087
Seconded.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15 for not getting weakened.
>>
Rolled 12 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>468098
>>
Rolled 19 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>468098
>>
19+15=34

Overwhelming Success!

She chomps down on your neck, making sure not to hurt you. She draws quite a bit of blood, and her nearly white body turns much more colored.

"...Thanks."

She lays back down on the bed.

"Not to ruin your mood, but I need you to help cure my son of Vampirism."

She opens one eye in response.

"Good luck then."

"...Why?"

"Well, first of all he's been digging it to no end, second of all he's been neglecting actually drinking blood."

"...Where is he?"

"I managed to get him into your dungeon, but that's it."

"Will he come out?"

"Nope. I'm not going down there."

"...Why?"

"First of all, he dismantled the lights down there. Second of all, I barricaded the doors, and number three, is that you don't even fucking try to get close to a vampire if they haven't drunk any blood for a prolonged period."

Actions.

>...So, you left my son to rot down there?
>...Shit, is there anyway we can stop his thirst from here?
>...So? We're going down there.
>Good on you for containing him.
>...Erh, well... Why don't we go down there later?
>Write-In
>>
>>468129
>I'm going down there to confront my son and you're coming with me
>>
>>468129
This >>468136
>>
>>468136
This.
>>
"Well, I'm going down there to confront my son and you're coming with me."

"...Great. Well, can we at least prepare?"

"Why?"

"I don't know about you, but it's a really, really bad idea to go where it's really dark, and where a vampire is."

Actions.

>...Fine, we'll prepare. Any suggestions?
>...I might have an idea. I could probably see about remotely releasing the prisoners from this end, maybe a they might sate his thirst.
>Nope! That's the coward's way out!
>Come on, I'll protect you, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>468154
>>...Fine, we'll prepare. Any suggestions?
>>
>>468154
>...Fine, we'll prepare. Any suggestions?
>>
>>468154
>>...Fine, we'll prepare. Any suggestions?
>>
>>468154
>>...Fine, we'll prepare. Any suggestions?

Maybe throw one of our eleven slaves down there to help Julius and his hunger?
>>
>>468170
The elven slave we got a few threads ago is too cool to be sacrificed, if that's what you meant.
>>
"Fine. We'll prepare. Any suggestions?"

"We need a light source, consecrated or enchanted armor, some sort of blood so he won't eat us... Or, you could just throw slaves at him until he's too full to actually do anything."

"...That's an option?"

"Yeah. By the way, don't expect your son to look... Well, like what he used to."

"Why?"

"He'll look quite different. That's all I'm saying."

Actions

>...Start throwing slaves at him!
>...Hang on, we could go for a few more people.
>Start throwing DROW slaves at him!
>...I guess I can get some blood in a vial. Maybe it'll lure him out.
>Erh... Can we still reason with him?
>I think we should just go down there.
>...This is your chance to be Tacticool. Find Hans and get some weaponry! Non-lethal, of course.
>Write-In
>>
>>468175
Oh you're right. I thought we had more then that. Instead we should throw one of the 322 drow or 403 human slaves we have.
>>
>>468184
>...Start throwing slaves at him!
Anything for our son Julius.
>>
>>468184
>...Start throwing slaves at him!
>>
>>468184
>>...I guess I can get some blood in a vial. Maybe it'll lure him out.
Let's use our own blood. It's tasty enough to help convince him to feed regularly.
>>
>>468184
>...I guess I can get some blood in a vial. Maybe it'll lure him out.
What time will NEQ be up tomorrow?
>>
You decide to indiscriminately start throwing slaves down there.

How many do you send?

>Just one.
>Two? Two.
>Three.
>Four!
>Five!!
>SIX!
>...Ask if Julius can get drunk if you put enough alcohol in their bloodstream.
>...Well, might as well bathe them in butter or something. Hopefully Julius will like it or something.
>Write-In
>>
>>468205
Anon, sorry to say but I have no idea. My schedule's fucked.
>>
>>468208
>Just one.
>>
>>468208
>SIX!
>...Ask if Julius can get drunk if you put enough alcohol in their bloodstream.
>>
>>468219
This, I guess.
>>