[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
Board:  
Settings   Home
4chan
/qst/ - Quests


File: DragonQuest.jpg (158 KB, 640x440)
158 KB
158 KB JPG
Last time on EDQ, we talked to Viktor, reunited with Khorne and mutated a little, then of course we decided to do a family bonding experience with him. As in, fuck Cuba over.

Why exactly fuck over Cuba?
Because fuck Cuba.

Twitter: QuestingQM

As you consume another soldier, Flames decides to pop into your head.

Hey, dude... I've been thinking a little.

I'm kind of busy pillaging, eating, killing, that sort of thing.

...Yeah, well luckily enough for some strange reason time doesn't pause while talking to me or Khorne.

...Right. Anyways, what did you want to talk about?

I don't like trying to second guess you or anything, but could I point something out?

...What exactly are you second guessing?

Eh... Well, mostly the fact we're consuming souls for a fucking demon. That's kind of shady.

Come on, Khorne's a bro... And can't he hear us?

He's busy killing and murdering, so no. Even if he might be a bro, what if the misses find out?

What? Ho-

You did introduce Khorne to your wife, and you want a second one. And you introduced both of them. At this point it's a matter of time before either your wife or Frankizka realizes.

Come on, I'll deal with it the way I usual do.

Trying to give them a good tumble?

Yeah. How'd you know?

I'm your second head, I kind know what's up. Anyways, these mortals really, really don't fucking like us eating and condemning their soul to hell. Also, I don't really advocate for being a goody-two-shoes, but at the rate we're going it's only a matter of time before we plunge into "Let's summon a succubus on our daughter's date!" or some shit. Though that would be hot..."

Yeah, and? These fucking mortals can't really fucking stand against me in practical warfare!

Come on dude, if we get exposed having fun time with demon-bro, we're gonna get our asses kicked. We might be a thirty-two story dragon, but that really, really doesn't fucking help when some lucky asshole cuts our throat while we sleep.

...I kind of see your point.

Yeah. Anyways, I think we should just fucking get Khorne to quiet down or something, get rid of the khornate symbol so Frankizka doesn't go Warrior Nun on our ass.

Aren't you supposed to be the irresponsible one? The one who came up with the idea for "Let's get more then one wife?"

That was a great plan!

Elizabeth was in tears! She was fucking upset!

Then you decided to have her have a lesbian orgy for some fucking reason.

Yeah...

But honestly, I don't fucking like the fact we're controlling our wife through pheromones, that just adds another level of shady shit to the shady shit package. It just makes the sex feel fake.

Actions.

>...I kind of see your point.
>Well, it's just fun and games, right?
>Stop being moralistic man, it's starting to creep me out.
>Write-In
>>
>>445329
>>...I kind of see your point.
I'd be fine with the second wife shit if we actually went and explained it and didn't cause lesbian orgies instead.
>>
>>445329
>...I kind of see your point.
but
>Stop being moralistic man, it's starting to creep me out.
>>
>>445329
>...I kind of see your point.
>>
Yeah. I kind of see your point.

Yeah, even though I love fucking around, both literally and figuratively, it's a cheap move and really honestly fucking weird to do that shit. Besides, at some point she's going to catch on, and she's already hinted that she's finding some shit out.

...Yeah.

Anyways, we promised our wife that this would be the most romantic time of her life, and it's been three days and so far all we've done is bond with our son, attack Cuba, and did some fucking alchemy together.

You forgot the part where I turned her into a dragon.

I didn't forget, but as much as I love you stomping on soldiers and shit, our wife is stressed the fuck out, and I don't honestly know if our age-old tactic of stomping on people will actually work.

...What exactly did you have in mind?

She still thinks of herself as a mortal, fucking use that. If we want to hold true to our fucking word to make the most goddamned romantic month with our wife, we better start damned soon. She won't wait forever.

...Right.

But anyways, back to Khorne. What the fuck should we do?

Actions.

>...I'll just tell him to calm down a little around my wife and Frankizka, alright?
>...I'll just tell him to leave my head and revoke the mutations, alright? Just do it politely.
>I'll tell him to just revoke the mutations.
>He's too cool to let go!
>Write-In
>>
>>445339
>>...I'll just tell him to leave my head and revoke the mutations, alright? Just do it politely.
>>
I'll do it politely, alright?

...Yeah, let the big guy go gently. Just don't... Well, you know. Get him pissed off.

Yeah, good point.

You go back to your rampage of the city, and you step on a car, causing it to get crushed underneath you.

"FLEE MORTALS, OR FACE YOUR DOOM!"

Well... Here goes nothing.

Actions.

>...Hey, Khorne, I don't want to be a dick but for my marriage (and marriages in the future), I need to kick you out of my head.
>Just kick him out with no explanation.
>...Hey dude, could you leave please? And take your mutations with you?
>Sorry man, but I want my body to be me and Flames. No hard feelings, right?
>Write-In
>>
>>445339
>...I'll just tell him to calm down a little around my wife and Frankizka, alright?
Please don't do this again, we'll look bi-polar as fuck
>>
>>445346
>>...Hey, Khorne, I don't want to be a dick but for my marriage (and marriages in the future), I need to kick you out of my head.
Tell him straight up. He is the God of Honor, he should respect that.
>>
>>445346
>...Hey, Khorne, I don't want to be a dick but for my marriage (and marriages in the future), I need to kick you out of my head.
>>
>>445346
>We are actually kicking him out AGAIN after apologizing and talking about it
This is why we need more time to decide on things.
>>
>>445347
We have a Flame Dragon head that contains the wisest parts of our personality, I think we straight up are bipolar. And I personally was asleep during the first vote, so being able to participate now is nice.
>>
Hey, uh... Khorne. I need to talk to you.

...I'M BUSY, WHAT IS IT?

Listen, you're a nice god and all, but for my marriage and marriages in the future, I need to kick you out of my head.

...ERH, ARE YOU JOKING WITH ME?

Why do you say that?

I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS YOUR MORTAL IDEA OF JOKES. WE FUCKING WENT THROUGH THIS ALREADY.

Actions.

>...Yeah, it's a joke. Don't worry about it, K-man.
>...Listen, I'm just a little worried about my wife possibly finding out I'm sucking people's souls into hell. Could you just turn it down around her?
>No, it's not, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>445355
>...Listen, I'm just a little worried about my wife possibly finding out I'm sucking people's souls into hell. Could you just turn it down around her?
>>
>>445355
>>No, it's not, alright?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.
>>
>>445355
>...Listen, I'm just a little worried about my wife possibly finding out I'm sucking people's souls into hell. Could you just turn it down around her?
>>
File: SHIT.jpg (43 KB, 640x615)
43 KB
43 KB JPG
>>445360
>>
1=It's not.
2=I'm worried.

Fuck me for forgetting last time.

Listen, Khorne... I'm a little worried about my wife finding out I'm sucking people's souls into hell. Is there any way we can turn it down around her?

I UNDERSTAND. I'LL SEE ABOUT MAKING THE KHORNATE SYMBOL ONLY APPEAR WHEN WE GET ANGRY... THIS IS COMING OUT MY WELL OF SOULS THOUGH, AND IT AIN'T CHEAP. I JUST HAVE ONE REQUEST. AND NO, IT'S NOT ANY MORE SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE OR ANYTHING.

Actions.

>...Wow, thanks... What exactly do you want?
>Erh, no. I just want you to calm down.
>Could you calm down also?
>Write-in
>>
>>445365
>>Could you calm down also? And what exactly is your request?
>>
>>445365
>...Wow, thanks... What exactly do you want?
>>
Isn't Khorne concerned about the fact we're lying to our wife? I thought he was also the god of martial honour and shit, and it seems like what we're doing is anything but.
>>
>>445366
This.
>>
>>445370
We aren't REALLY lying, we just haven't told her that we're hanging out with Khorne.
Or maybe we did, I dunno.
>>
>>445365
>...Wow, thanks... What exactly do you want?
>>
Yeah... Just wondering, aren't you concerned about me lying to my wife a little about who I'm hanging out with?

I WAS GOING TO REQUEST THAT YOU TELL HER. BUT I GUESS YOUR ALREADY A FEW STEPS AHEAD OF ME, EH?

Uh... Why exactly do you want me to tell her? Besides being the god of martial honour.

BECAUSE SIMPLY "LEAVING SHIT OUT" IS A FUCKING BULLSHIT THING TZEENTCH CAME UP WITH IN ORDER TO BULLSHIT HIS WAY THROUGH LIFE.

Actions.

>...But technically speaking, it's not lying.
>...I guess. She's probably not going to like it.
>...This sounds a little lawful stupid.
>Write-In
>>
>>445375
>>...I guess. She's probably not going to like it.
Huh, I kinda guessed that would be his request, judging from how EDQ's Khorne talks about Tzeentch.
>>
>>445375
>...I guess. She's probably not going to like it.
>>
>>445375
>THING TZEENTCH CAME UP
You really put this Tzeentch guy on a pedastal don't you? Pretty sure lying by omission has been around for as long as speaking has.
>>
>>445375
>...I guess. She's probably not going to like it.
>>
I guess. She's probably not going to like it.

AND? IT LEAST IT'S HONORABLE.

Right.

Could you at least calm down a little?

...ERH, WH- OH, RIGHT. WIVES.

Yeah.

You turn your attention back to BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THINGS! Which is just as fun as it sounds. You see in front of you a platoon of tanks... And right by Viktor, an additional platoon of tanks. You have an idea...

Actions.

>...Throw a tank at him, and yell tank fight. (Body)
>No, be a little more mature. Ask if he needs any help dealing with them.
>Tell him he's doing good.
>Son, your technique is sloppy!
>Write-In
>>
>>445387
>>...Throw a tank at him, and yell tank fight. (Body)
HA! There is no other way
>>
>>445387
>...Throw a tank at him, and yell tank fight. (Body)
inb4 we knock him out 'cause.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15 for Tank Toss.
>>
Rolled 6 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>445397
Khorne took that wife bit real well. What a bro
>>
Rolled 9 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>445397
>>
9+15=24

Failure!

You grab a tank full of humans and toss it straight at Viktor. It sails over his head.

"Are you trying to hit me?"

"...Tank fight?"

"Su-"

He gets shot in the back of the head by tank. He turns his glare towards, and picks it up, and throws it at you!

Actions.

>...Uproot a nearby tree and try to send this fucker to orbit. (Body, HARD)
>...Nom it midair. (Body)
>Freeze it solid and let it just hit the ground, solid. (Agility)
>Grab it middair so you can toss it back! (Agility)
>Write-In
>>
>>445410
>...Nom it midair. (Body)
>>
>>445410
>>...Nom it midair. (Body)
>>
>>445410
>...Uproot a nearby tree and try to send this fucker to orbit. (Body, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15
>>
Rolled 13 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>445420
It's like catching a piece of popcorn.
>>
Rolled 11 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>445420
>>
Rolled 8 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>445420
>>
13+15=28

Borderline Failure!

You attempt to catch the tank mid-air, but you only manage to chomp it in half.

For the next few minutes you continue tossing tanks and the two of you get along well.

"Ha! I'd like to see you catch this one!"

He throws a curvetank at you, and you impale it on your claws.

"Please, that's a cheap move. Try this!"

You throw a tank straight past him, and it explodes from the force of the throw.

"Holy shit, if I could I'd hire you for a baseball team in the states."

"...Baseball?"

"American thing. Anyways, we should probably start heading home before the army here decides to actually intervene and not just watch."

Actions.

>Sure, let's start going home.
>...Come on, let's continue playing a little more, alright?
>...Wait, your coming home with me?
>Write-In
>>
>>445449
>Sure, let's start going home.
>>
"...Yeah, let's start heading home."[/red]

The two of you take to the skies, and fly homeward.

"...That was quite fun."

"What, you've never burned down a city before?"

"No, it's fun and a nice change of pace, but I have other things I could do."

Actions.

>...Come on, it's a nice family thing, alright?
>What do you do in your spare time anyways?
>You seem too busy to actually have any fun, in my opinion.
>Remain silent and continue on home.
>Write-In
>>
>>445464
>...Come on, it's a nice family thing, alright?
>>
>>445449
So wait, what's the +15 for if that was a borderline failure?
>>
>>445478
The +15 is your body modifier, anon.
>>
>>445486
I know, but what does the modifier do? I'm a bit new to this.
>>
"Come on, it's a nice family thing alright?"

"I guess. I just don't generally do things like that as bluntly as you do."

"Right."

"Anyways, let's just get back home..."

After a few more hours of flying you land outside the palace and shift downwards, after terrifying the nearby palace servants a little. You can't really find Elizabeth, until you see a servant making a cup of tea... Lemon tea. Elizabeth's favorite.

"Excuse me, where exactly is Elizabeth right now?"

"Oh, my lord, don't startle me like that. The Queen is currently taking a bath as we speak."

Actions.

>...Oh, thank you. Now, could you do me a favor and give me the key to the bath?
>Oh, well I guess I'll just wait for her.
>...Could you make some tea for me as well? I expect I'll just be waiting a while.
>Could you send a message to her that I'm going to be in bed waiting for her?
>Write-In
>>
>>445493
The modifier is for effecting the dice rolls... I don't think I'm explaining this properly since I'm really fucking exhausted, sorry anon.
>>
>>445495
>>Could you send a message to her that I'm going to be in bed waiting for her?
>>
>>445500
It's alright. I'm just a bit confused since I thought the modifier would change the borderline failure to an overwhelming success.
>keys to the bath
>>
>>445500
>>445493
I think I've got this.

The anon's trying to ask, if Ren has a +15 modifier, why is 13+15=28 a borderline failure. The anon is asking would that not be a success because of the huge modifier?
>>
>>445507
Holy shit, I must be fucking exhausted because I just read that as jargon, and I'll try to explain later when I get some coffee.
>>
Waiting ten more minutes.
>>
>>445514
No worries.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

1=Wait in bed.
2=...Bath?
>>
"Oh, thanks. Could you send a message to her that I'll be waiting in her bed?"

"Very well, emperor."

You begin to go into Elizabeth's room, which smells like roses. You of course lay down on the bed, exhausted from your flight... Fuck, you love beds.

After a little bit, Elizabeth comes in.

"Ah, Ren. You finally came back."

"Yeah. So I did."

"To be honest, I was half-expecting you to try and get into the bath with me."

"What? I am gentleman!"

Why didn't we?

...I'm fucking exhausted.

"Ah. Gentlemanly indeed."

She sits down on the bed, and yawns.

"...Is it just me, or is the only time we ever really see each other is when we're going to bed?"

Actions.

>...Well, could I tell you something about my second head?
>Well, we're both rulers. That kind of makes it hard.
>What, are you disappointed I didn't intercede in your bath?
>Kind of?
>Write-In
>>
>>445540
>...Well, could I tell you something about my second head?
>>
I don't have time to join in right now, but I feel I need to once more point out that someone, besides just me, need to learn how to archive threads. Because lately I've been the only one doing it and I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to do it.

It's fairly simple, you go here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/requestqstinterface.html?

Input the numbers after /thread/ from the address bar into the thread number field, add a title, a 140 character description of the thread and the tags.

The only part you're likely to fuck up is the tags. Each tag is separated by a comma(,) and each tag can be more than one word, but is usually no more than three. When archiving an ongoing quest it's best to keep things consistent and just copy the tags from the previous thread. To make that simple, here is a link to all the other threads in the quest.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=European

And the link for the Nazi Experiment Quest ones. The latest thread is not archives yet and can be found here. >>437071
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Lycanthropy

Good luck, and for the love of everything good and true, do not mess up the tags like whoever archived the first thread.
>>
>>445540
>>...Well, could I tell you something about my second head?
The worst part is I can't tell if you mean penis or Flames.

>>445542
I'll archive this one
>>
"...Well, could I tell you something about my second head?"

"...Erh... Y-"

"No! Not the sexual one."

"Oh."

Actions.

>...Well, I might of made a deal with a demon god for some cool shit, and he's taking up my second head. He's cool though.
>My second head is a chaos god, and I apparently can eat people's souls now, or something.
>...Well, I made a deal with a chaos god and he wants me to tell you this.
>I just want you to know my second head doesn't represent me.
>...Nevermind.
>Write-In
>>
>>445550
So I made a deal with a demon god I met in another world. In exchange for souls he promised to give me powers, not dissimilar to the mutations I normally get, but more demonic. Anyway I did get one for killing some people, but I made him promise to calm it down a bit. Oh, also he's taken up residence in my other head, where I keep my split personality/advisor, Flames. Say hi Flames and Khorne.
>>
Just archived Nazi Experimental Quest 4.
>>
"...So, I've made a deal with a demon god I met in another world... In exchange for powers he'd give me mutations with some demonic shit happening with it, I got two for killing and eating people, and I made him promise to calm it down a little bit. Oh, and he's taken up residence in my other head where I keep my split personality and advisor, Flames."

You shapeshift into your half-dragon form.

"Say hi."

"Do you have any chicken?"

"I AM GOOD AROUND SMALL CHILDREN AND AXES, I SWEAR."

Roll me a 1d20+7 to see if she believes you.
>>
Rolled 18 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>445561
>>
18+7=25

Success!

"...What the honest fuck are you thinking?"

"What?"

"Why in the seven... Why?!"

"...He's cool."

"He's a demon! You're giving him souls! What happened to the catholic I married?"

Actions.

>...I never really was catholic in the first place, you know.
>...Erh... It seemed like a good idea at the time?
>...I was given a choice, religion or power. I mean, why wouldn't you choose power?
>Well, since I am god this is perfectly fine.
>Write-in
>>
>>445573
If I didn't do it there would be several other Chaos Gods like him in our world right now, and things would be even worse. Do you want fucking Slaaneshians? Let me tell you, if I didn't do this, we'd be doomed. And he's not quite a demon, merely a God given his powers by the sins of mankind. Hell, he's also the God of Honour, and the reason I'm even telling you this. That being said, I told him to calm it down because I AM A GOOD CATHOLIC.
>>
>>445573
Well you do have a point...
I'll make amends some way or another I promise.
Sorry khorne, looks like we're going to have to make a formal contract or something so that things don't get out of hand.
>>
>>445587
Lets do this
>>
>>445587
This is damn good.
>>
"Yeah, well if I didn't do it there would be several other Chaos Gods like him in our world right now, and things would be even worse. Do you fucking want Slaaneshians? Let me tell you, if I didn't do this, we'd be doomed. And he's not quite a demon, merely a God given his powers by the sins of mankind. Hell, he's also the God of Honour and the reason why I'm telling you this is because I AM A GOOD CATHOLIC!"

"Don't yell at me, damn it. I don't even know what the fuck a Slaaneshian is. But honestly, what the fuck?"

"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner!"

"Ren, I just... Goddamn it. I may not be catholic but I am a christian, and I will say your behavior of late is most unchristian like."

"How?"

"Well, let's see... Trying to get a second wife, killing the pope, making your followers worship you as God, the slavery, making deals with demons to sacrifice other people's souls... What the fuck else? At this point I'm worrying for your sanity!"

"BOTH OF YOU NEED TO CALM YOUR TITS. FIRST OFF I AM NOT A DEMON, AND SECOND OFF WHAT THE FUCK IS A CHRISTIAN?"

Flames pops up in your head.

I think it's a type of salad dressing.

No, it's my religion.

Actions.

>...Khorne's right. Sorry for yelling at you.
>Well, when were you religious?
>Listen, I've promised to make it up for you, alright?
>...When were you crowned pope?
>Write-In
>>
>>445633
>>...Khorne's right. Sorry for yelling at you.
>>
>>445633
>...Khorne's right. Sorry for yelling at you.

>Write-In
"I'd point out however that me taking the pope out was done in a manner as to minimise the bloodletting of Christians. I convinced the cardinals to support me, along with the major christian institutions. Most of them were extremely unhappy with the pope, the Swiss guard weren't even being payed for god-sake!

As to trying to get a second wife, that was because I need someone who can rule in my absence, which you can't since you'll be busy here, who is in love with or dependant on me so they won't betray me.

As to the slavery, not only does it run in the family, I'd point out the kettle is calling the pot black a bit here!"
>>
>>445645
This.
>>
"Khorne's right. I'm sorry for yelling at you, but first off, I'm going to point out a few things... Well, the "slavery" part runs in the family, and I'd say you're guilty of that as well."

She growls slightly.

"As for the second wif-"

"Shut up, I don't want to hear anything about a goddamned fucking second wife, alright?"

...Triggered...

Shut the fuck up or I will nail you to the wall and flay you, alright?

What wall?

HE'S PROBABLY TALKING ABOUT HIS ALBUM OF HITLER PHOTOS. WHO'S HITLER ANYWAYS?

No one answers that.

"...Well, anyways, I'd point out that me taking out the pope was done in a manner as to minimise the bloodletting of Christians! I convinced the cardinals to support me, along with the major christian institutions. Most of them were extremely unhappy with the pope, and the Swiss Guard wasn't even being payed for god's sake!"

"...Fine, whatever. I'm just going to get some sleep."

You can tell she's actually angry towards you. That's a first.

Actions

>...Erh... Do the mortal thing, called comforting, or whatever.
>...Just go to sleep.
>Come on, you didn't even let me finish up the part about the second wife!
>...Don't be angry at me, damn it.
>Write-in
>>
>>445667
>Write-in
Look, I am sorry. I'll break things off on the you-know-what front. You matter more than my kingdom, because there are many lands to rule but only one of you to love.

As to the pope thing... I'll allow all Christians to vote as to if they want me as pope, if you want.

As to the demonic soul stealing stuff... we can talk about that later, I'll talk to Khorne about it.
>>
>>445676
This
>>
>>445667
>...Erh... Do the mortal thing, called comforting, or whatever.
>>
>>445667
>...Just go to sleep.
I just wish we could go back to being a real dragon and not caring about shit.
>>
>>445689
That is what got us in this mess!
>>
>>445667
>...Just go to sleep.

Khorne was a mistake
>>
You sigh.

"...Look, I'm sorry for bringing up the you-know-what front. You matter more then my kingdom, because there are many lands to rule, but only one of you to love..."

She calms down.

"I-I'm sorry... Ren."

"It's fine."

"...I... It's just been so stressful, you know?"

"I know."

"It's just... It's hard running a country, trying to take care of the kids back at home, then... Well, you... T-then trying to run your country at the same time."

Actions.

>Come on, you need someone to help you. That's all a second wife is. (Charisma, HARD)
>...Jesus, you're stressed aren't you?
>Go to sleep. You'll probably fuck up saying something.
>>
>>445698
>...Jesus, you're stressed aren't you?


Gentlemen, I have a cunning plan! We are going to build a secret retreat somewhere for her, using all of our various abilities (burrowing, enchanting, fire-breathing, etc) to do so.
>>
>>445698
>>...Jesus, you're stressed aren't you?
>>
>>445703
This.
>>
"...Jesus, you're stressed aren't you?"

"...Yeah..."

"...I should of remained here, damn it."

She readjusts herself in the bed, and tries to lay down.

"...I haven't been able to get sleep for two days already. It's practically eating me up."

"...You always seem so asleep, though."

"I haven't even gotten a moment's rest since I got here besides laying down in this bed, and this is the only way I can relieve stress in a proper timeframe."

Actions.

>You know... Why don't we pillage a village together? It's a family tradition.
>Why don't you just appoint a regent and go on vacation?
>Come here, I'll hold you until you go to sleep, alright?
>Thank you for telling me this.
>Go to sleep.
>Write-In
>>
>>445728
>Why don't you just appoint a regent and go on vacation?
>>
>>445728
>>Why don't you just appoint a regent and go on vacation?
>>
>>445728
>Why don't you just appoint a regent and go on vacation?
>>
"Why don't you just appoint a regent and go on vacation?"

"The first days are the most important. I can't look weak in front of them... Say, Ren... Could you do me a favor?"

"...What?"

"Could you go back to Stockholm?"

"Why?"

"...I think you're stressing me out, and I need some alone time, alright?"

Actions.

>...I guess...
>Listen, I won't talk any more about the you-know-what situations.
>No. I promised to give you the most romantic month of me ever, and I still haven't followed through yet.
>Come on, I'm practically gone most of the day!
>...Listen, just declare some goon to be a regent and come with me, alright?
>Write-in
>>
>>445748
>>No. I promised to give you the most romantic month of me ever, and I still haven't followed through yet.
>>
>>445748
>No. I promised to give you the most romantic month of me ever, and I still haven't followed through yet.


Time to go big or go home... do you think she'd like a statue of herself, carved of the finest stone? Perhaps even further, more extreme labours of love would be needed...


Secret hideaway is a go? Or will we just spend our time complimenting her, writing poetry and all that good shit?
>>
needs more dragon fucking
>>
"No. I promised to give you the most romantic month of... Well, me ever, and I'm not about to abandon it now!"

"...Alright, I guess. Just don't stress me out any further."

"I won't."

You fall asleep, thinking of ways to... Well, make the most romantic month ever.

Actions.

>You already have an idea... (Specify)
>...Call the men together, AKA: Khorne and Flames for a meeting.
>Just sleep...
>Write-In
>>
>>445771
>>You already have an idea... (Specify)
Hideout time
>>
>>445771
>You already have an idea... (Specify)

I have a few;

1) Compose a poem, woman love a good poem.

2) Find a area of open ground, using our tunneling ability, dig out a sizeable piece of stone shaping the cavernous space into a amphitheatre. Then go and find a cinema, purchase or borrow the equipment needed to show a film. Find some good romantic films and such, watch with her and relax.

3) Build some sort of super underground house-cum-den-cum-entertainment centre. Or to put it simply a awesome hideout.
>>
You have quite a few brilliant ideas... But you decide to start with the "super secret hideout of doom and destruction." It should work, right?

Now of course... You'll have to find a place to actually begin digging it.

Actions.

>...Well, see if you can't find a place in the gardens. It's close by after all.
>...She needs a good, proper dungeon like you. You'll dig it in the basement.
>Easy. Just find a brit's house and break into it and take it over.
>Write-In
>>
>>445783
>>...Well, see if you can't find a place in the gardens. It's close by after all.
I mean, I imagine Elizabeth likes flowers
>>
>>445783
>...Well, see if you can't find a place in the gardens. It's close by after all.


>>445788
You raise a good point, we should try to not fuck the surface over while we work.
>>
You find a small flowerbed and carefully tunnel inbetween it. It's a rather hard to see hole, and you decide on how deep you want this hole to be.

>...Just make it go down a brief ten feet. Nothing major.
>Fifty feet? Fifty feet.
>...You might of been a dwarf in a past life. Begin digging a hole towards a hundred feet.
>You were a dwarf in a past life. Dig a hole towards a hundred and fifty feet.
>Write-In
>>
>>445794
>You were a dwarf in a past life. Dig a hole towards a hundred and fifty feet.
>>
>>445794
>You were a dwarf in a past life. Dig a hole towards a hundred and fifty feet.
>>
>>445794
>>You were a dwarf in a past life. Dig a hole towards a hundred and fifty feet.
Dorf
>>
You dig towards a hundred and fifty feet and hit the stone layer... At this point you can practically feel the beard on you. You decide to make a super awesome hideout... Erh. What exact design do you want?

Actions.

>...Bunker. In case Viktor presses the big red button on accident or something. Or worse.
>You'll design it like a mini-house underground!
>...Well, the classic hideout. As in "may or may not be villainous lair." As in booby-trapped entrance.
>Just make it a sort of theater or something.
>...An underground garden, maybe?
>Write-In
>>
>>445802
>...An underground garden, maybe?
>>
>>445802
>>...An underground garden, maybe?
>>
An underground garden? Hell yeah! You begin carefully bringing rich soil and after some minor irrigation, you successfully think you've set up an underground garden, sunlight be damned! You also kidnap a few flowers and plant them down here.

Of course, if you wanted you could try to stylize it.

>...You know, maybe a statue in the middle of the garden might be cool.
>Engrave the walls with something.
>You personally like the dark cave with plants, but she might not. Maybe you should put somesort of lighting up.
>Nah, it's good as it is.
>Write-In
>>
>>445820
>...You know, maybe a statue in the middle of the garden might be cool.
>Engrave the walls with something.
>>
>>445824
Dark caves are cool so I'll second this
>>
You decide to make a statue... Now, roll me a 1d20 for quality, and what exactly do you want it to be of?

>You, of course!
>You in human form, of course.
>Elizabeth, of course!
>Elizabeth as a dragon, maybe...
>...Fuck it, it's a secret hide out... Make a statue of you giving a good tumble to Elizabeth.
>Make something the Romans would be proud of. Do the tumble statue, but both of you in dragon form.
>You should just make a generic statue.
>Write-In
>>
>>445840
we have to make up with our wife
>>Elizabeth as a dragon, maybe...
or just
>>Elizabeth, of course!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>445840
>Make something the Romans would be proud of. Do the tumble statue, but both of you in dragon form.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>445840
>Write-In
Of us and her, holding up the roof (perhaps engrave it with some short phrase like "distant lovers united in the earth" or maybe at the base of the statue).
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>445840
>>Elizabeth, of course!
DORF FORT
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>445840
>Make something the Romans would be proud of. Do the tumble statue, but both of you in dragon form.

It celebrates nature and love for each other. Elizabeth should like that sort of thing.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>445840
Criticaaaaal!!!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>445845
forgot roll damit
>>
>>445856
God dammit anon.
>>
>>445856
Top kek
>>
>>445856
You suck
>>
>>445865
>>445870
Should we use barbaric? or just try making another statue?
>>
>>445856
...and then the carefully cultivated garden caved in (this doesn't count right he didn't choose anything)
>>
Critical Failure!

You create a masterpiece of a statue, of you and Elizabeth, and after nearly a day of work... You successfully make two stone tablets with happy faces on them on top of each other. That's good enough, right? Your fairly sure you can just claim it's abstract art.

You of course, turn your attention to engraving...

What do?

>You have specific text you want to put. (Specify)
>...Erh, try to draw you.
>Try to draw Elizabeth.
>...Draw something else.
>Write-In
>>
File: image.png (71 KB, 293x150)
71 KB
71 KB PNG
>>445856
Hey I didn't lie.
>>
>>445883
>>Write-In
BURN THE ABOMINATION start over
>>
>>445883
>>Try to draw Elizabeth.
Make it look a bit like the owl god Moloch, just because my daily redpills from /x/ and /pol/ are kicking in.
>>
>>445883
Tear down the statue and start over.
>>
>>445898
This.
Only the best for Liz.
>>
You decide against doing anything and go up to the statue.

You take the two stone tablets, with crudely drawn happy faces on them.

Why are you destroying us?

HOLY SHIT YOU CAN FUCKING TALK?

Nah, I'm fucking with you. What the fuck are those anyways?

...It's my artistic masterpiece.

You a spent a day working on that?

...I was angling the happy face.

Holy shit, we're becoming Claw, aren't we?

...Well, I'm going to destroy these now.

You take the two tablets and smash them against the ground. Nothing really happens, but the message was carried out... Only the best for Liz.

Roll me a 1d20-3 for autistic talent.
>>
>>445901
We might want to hire some help. I mean, we aren't just going to build everything out of stone!
>>
Rolled 19 - 3 (1d20 - 3)

>>445912
>>
Rolled 18 - 3 (1d20 - 3)

>>445912
Motherfucking Picasso.
>>
Rolled 5 - 3 (1d20 - 3)

>>445912
>>
>>445921
>>445920
NO MORE ROLLS
>>
19-3=16

Success!

You successfully make a statue of you and Liz in dragon form, tumbling. You can already see the faces on the archeologists that will inevitability come here in the future.

You go back to the engraving... What exactly are you going to engrave?

>You have a specific imagine in mind. (Specify)
>You have some text in mind. (Specify)
>Just draw a image of you.
>Draw an image of Elizabeth.
>Write-In
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>445912
>>
>>445929
>You have a specific imagine in mind. (Specify)

Put in a lot of vegetation and plant related stuff. Then give it a classical feel to by putting in depictions of Greek gods like Athena. I think Elizabeth would be into stuff like that. Maybe winged Angels too.
>>
>>445929
>You have a specific imagine in mind. (Specify)
A border of flowering vines along the bottom of the wall. Perhaps we should also make the roof look like some clouds?
>>
You decide to go for a mix of vegetation and Greek imagery... Roll me a 1d20 to see if you can do this.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>445951
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>445951
(Once we have the actual structure carved out we need to go to the surface. We need wood, glass, copper, iron and such things to really furnish this place well.

We could also see about getting some builders in to work the materials for us or to enhance our finished areas)
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>445951
>>
>>445963
We apparently are a boss when it comes to Greek shit...
>>
After hours of carving, chipping, and otherwise engraving, you finally finish. All that's missing is some pillars and maybe some furniture to make it more comfy. You pass out on the floor after two days of solid hard work, and eventually wake up a few hours later to get food.

What exactly do you do now?

>...Reveal it to Elizabeth!
>...Poem? Poem.
>The hideout could go for some more... Things. See if you can't sponsor some construction company in exchange for them finishing up the hideout.
>Write-In
>>
>>445973
>...Poem? Poem.
>>
>>445973
>...Poem? Poem.


I have some ideas but we'll leave them until after this.
>>
Poem it is.

You aren't... Well, you aren't very experienced in poems, at all.

Roll me a 1d20+1.
>>
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>445995
>>
Rolled 19 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>445995
>>
19+1=20

Good Success!

After getting a piece of paper and a pen, and writing furiously for a few hours, you create a rather good poem...

Action.

>...And present the things to her!
>No, do something else...
>Write-In

Sorry anons, but I've got to take a nap for a little while.
>>
>>445995
"Your skin white like the cliffs of Dover,
Lucky, I am, like a four-leaf clover,
to know you...

Your voice like sweet songbirds singing,
Often leaves me grinning...

Your god-given vibrant looks,
could drag any scholar from his books,
and I am the same...

To me, with no doubt, you are
the best woman, for me, near and far."


Aye it's shit but I am tired and more so focusing on complimenting her than the actual structure, syllabic cadence or such.
>>
>>446022
I-it's not shit. Anon, are you another writefag in QuestingQM's threads? Clearly we must duel.
>>
>>446027
Hell no, I am afraid of writing a quest (Mostly for fear of being shit or not being able to finish it) though I have considered it.
>>
>>446031
Kek, I feel the same. We'll just occasionally come up with a good write in. That's the way of quests I suppose.
>>
>>446027
>battle music plays
>>
>>446031
I will state I do many write-ins and have managed to drag the asses of both ren and others out of the fire quite a few times. I have also accidentally sent one person into the pits of hell once.

>>446035
True, though I'll be doing less of these soon since I am going to be quite busy.
>>
>>446036
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5q6skxRLnsI
>>
Alright, this thread looks pretty great so far. We've raided with Victor, talked with Khorne about toning down the demonic stuff, come clean on various things with Elizabeth and built a kick ass underground garden. If only all threads could be this awesome and free of fuck ups.

Also, good to see someone having archived the latest Nazi Experiment Quest, knowing there is someone else who can pick up the torch when I'm unavailable, which I fear I might be, is a load off my back.
>>
Alright anons, I'm back after me passing out.

And no one voted, so I'm just going to wait ten more minutes anons.
>>
Anons?
Bumping.
>>
>>446849
Don't know about the rest of them but I am going to sleep. See you in 12-14 hours OP!
>>
>>446014
Present the things.
>>
>>446803
>...And present the things to her!

I guess it everything is presentable to Elizabeth now. I just hope she likes the statue.
>>
>>446014
>...And present the things to her!
How do you even survive doing this quest when you have a job? From my time zone you sometimes start in the morning to well into the night.
>>
You decide to present the things to her.

You find her in the throne room, talking to her advisor. You kick your charisma into high gear and go out there with your poem...

Roll me a 1d20+8 to do this!

>>446873
I tend to work graveyard shift, I just have to not fall asleep at my computer and I'm generally good.
>>
Rolled 1 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>446874
>>
Rolled 1 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>446874
If this isn't a 20 use barbaric!
>>
>>446876
We seem to have developed autism like claw.
>>446878
Now we literally just became autistic.
>>
>>446876
Press F to to use Barbaric.
>>
>>446882
F
>>
Roll me a 1d20 to see if you can save this.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>446904
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>446904
>>
19

Good Success!

You get in front of her, bow down, and take out the poem you've spent so much time on.

"Your skin white like the cliffs of Dover,
Lucky, I am, like a four-leaf clover,
to know you...

Your voice like sweet songbirds singing,
Often leaves me grinning...

Your god-given vibrant looks,
could drag any scholar from his books,
and I am the same...

To me, with no doubt, you are
the best woman, for me, near and far."


"Thank you, Ren... I was wondering where you were."

"Well, why don't I show you what I've been working on?"

"Oh... Alright, I suppose. Thank you for the poem."

"...Erh, m'la-"

You glare the advisor down, and grab Elizabeth, and sling her over your back.

"...Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see."

Quickly, roll a 1d20+4 to see if she likes it!
>>
Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>446931
>>
Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>446931
>>
18+4=22

Great Success!

You take her off your shoulder right by the hidden hole by a flower bed in the Gardens.

"...What is that?"

"It's a hundred and fifty foot hole."

"...Wait, are we supposed to go down it?"

"Yep! I hope you aren't afraid of heights!"

The two of you climb down, and as the soil turns to stone you reach the bottom.

"...Wow. This is what you've been working on for the past three days?"

"Yep!"

"...And you have a statue of us having sex, as dragons."

"Yep. Personal highlight."

"...Well, I think it's lovely. Though a tad bit lewd."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, not at all. Reminds me of Roman sculpting."

"...Exactly what I was aiming for."

She pulls you in for a kiss.

"...Thank you. It means a lot to me. Also, that statue makes my stomach look a tad bit large."

"...Erh, well... That's just how stone works, you know?"

"...Shut up and kiss me. I've missed you."

The two of you go to the ground, kissing.

Eventually the two of you relax by your statue.

"...God, I'm sorry about yelling at you three nights ago, I've regretted it deeply."

"Listen, it's fine. Hell, I stress out as well."

"Yeah, but you don't raise your voice at me or anything. I did."

"I don't blame you for yelling at me, I do have a demon g-"

"IT'S CHAOS GOD."

Triggered...

"I forget, is this YOUR wife? No, I don't think so. Shut up Khorne."

"...For a demon go-"

"I'M A FUCKING CHAOS GOD, NOT A DEMON."

"Right."

"...He's nice once you get to know him."

She sighs.

"...I think normally someone else would ask why you're talking to yourself, but I'm honestly pleased enough not to care."

You laugh, which sounds fucking terrifying.

"...What the fuck was that?"

"...I have a cold."

"You're an ice dragon. How does that even wor-"

"Moving on. Anyways, you feeling better?"

"...A little."

"Just a little?"

She sighs.

"...Actually, a lot. Thank you, I really do need a place to get away from it all."

"No problem."

Actions.

>...Listen, I think I should explain the second wife thing in greater detail. Just give me a chance here, alright? (Charisma, HARD)
>...Want to tumble? (Charisma)
>...How did you like the poem?
>I'm not talking to myself! I'm having a conversation with someone else who happens to have a head and be in the same body with me!
>Well, thank you for your time. I'm going now.
>...The two of you should just sleep next to each other for now.
>Write-in
>>
>>446983
>Didn't use the 1
0/10 worst quest.
>>
>>447008
Oh shit, I better kill myself then.

brb, getting some bleach.

To be honest I didn't even see it until I posted the update. So just blame the elves.
>>
>>446983
>I'm not talking to myself! I'm having a conversation with someone else who happens to have a head and be in the same body with me!
>>
>>447015
That poster was late. Don't forghetti my success roll earlier in the thread that was too late. It's a two-way street, really.
>>
"...I'm not talking to myself. I'm just having a conversation with someone who happens to have a head and be in the same body with me!"

She nods her head.

"Surreee, let's go with that." She says sarcastically.

"But anyways, enough about me. How's your day going?"

"...Much better, thanks to you."

"Good. Great even!"

She cuddles up to you.

"...Well, you know I love you no matter what, right?"

"...Aren't I supposed to say that?"

"You were a little late then."

You can tell she's drifting to sleep.

Actions.

>...I just want to tell you I've given up on the second wife thing. Alright?
>...Fall asleep with her.
>Hang on, you want to ask her a question... (Specify)
>Listen... About the second wives thing, I was wondering if you were alright with it now. (Charisma, HARD)
>...So, how do you like being a dragon?
>Write-In
>>
>>447039
>...Fall asleep with her.
>>
>>447039
>...So, how do you like being a dragon?
>>
Waiting five more minutes anons.
>>
>>447039
>>...So, how do you like being a dragon?
>>
>>447039
>...So, how do you like being a dragon?
>>
"So, how do you like being a dragon so far?"

"...It's an interesting change of pace... Though it's a tad bit strange."

"How so?"

"Well, I haven't really used it besides to fly a little... And I don't know if my people should know I am a dragon now."

"Right..."

Actions.

>...You should just choose whatever you feel like, alright?
>...You should try out your dragon form a little. Get your people used to it, that sort of thing.
>...Just remain human. I like the way you are right now.
>Write-In
>>
>>447082
>...You should try out your dragon form a little. Get your people used to it, that sort of thing.
>>
>>447082
>>...You should just choose whatever you feel like, alright?
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>447082
>...You should try out your dragon form a little. Get your people used to it, that sort of thing.
>>
"...Come on, you should try out your dragon form a little. Get your people used to it, that sort of thing."

"...I don't know, Ren. I don't want to think of myself as a dragon, I still want to think of myself as a human."

Actions.

>And that's perfectly fine! You can think yourself human and still rule over the empire with a scaled fist.
>...Come on, your a dragon now. Why think yourself still human?
>That's up for you to decide, if your still human or a dragon now.
>Write-In
>>
>>447133
>That's up for you to decide, if your still human or a dragon now.
>>
>>447133
>And that's perfectly fine! You can think yourself human and still rule over the empire with a scaled fist.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>447137
>>
>>447133
>That's up for you to decide, if your still human or a dragon now.
>>
"Elizabeth, that's up for you to decide. Not me."

"...Well... I do like the power, but on the other cla- I mean, hand. Jesus. This is confusing me now."

"Just say whatever's the most natural to you."

"Well... Personally I'd like to stomp some people to dust, but I don't know how you can take lives so easily."

Actions.

>...Well, humans are basically like ants to me. I generally don't give a second thought.
>I don't know, honestly.
>Come on, if you want to stomp somebody, you stomp somebody.
>Well, why stomp them when you can eat them?
>Write-In
>>
>>447175
>...Well, humans are basically like ants to me. I generally don't give a second thought.
>>
>>447175
>...Well, humans are basically like ants to me. I generally don't give a second thought.
>Well, why stomp them when you can eat them?
>>
>>447175
>Write-In
>Partly because sometimes I have to, but on the other hand it's likely part of my nature. If you don't want to be like that then that's ok, you are you, and no mutagen is going to change that.
>>
>>447187
This.
>>
"Well, humans are basically like ants to me. I don't really give a second thought."

"...Ah."

"But I understand if you're a little hesitant to turn into a dragon and fuck people's shit up."

"Yeah..."

The two of you fade into sleep.

Renexizious has mutated!

Select from the following.

>Upgrade a Mutation
>Stable Mutation.
>Unstable Mutation.
>Extremely Unstable Mutation.
>Ultra Unstable Mutation.
>Attribute Point
>>
>>447216
>>Stable Mutation.
I'm in the mood for a little pick and chose.
>>
>>447216
With the amount of ones we're getting, I'm too afraid to vote.
>>
>>447223
If you're afraid of bad rolls then pick Stable or Upgrade.
>>
>>447216
Also, QuestingQM, you forgot to add the sheet to the first post.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/edit
>>
>>447216
>Unstable Mutation.
>>
>>447232
I didn't have enough room and I forgot about it.
>>
>>447237
It's cool. Posted it now in case anyone want to check what we have.
>>
>>447216
>Stable Mutation.
>>
Stable it is.

Select from the following.

>Froglike Tongue (Your tongue acts similar to that of a frog.)
>Smooth Scales (+1 Agility, move faster underwater.)
>Large Tail (+1 Agility, tail may damage things behind you in dragon form.)
>>
>>447258
>Large Tail (+1 Agility, tail may damage things behind you in dragon form.)
>>
>>447258
Froglike tongue.
We can snatch people like this without killing them, yeah?
>>
>>447258
>Smooth Scales (+1 Agility, move faster underwater.)
>>
>>447258
>Large Tail (+1 Agility, tail may damage things behind you in dragon form.)
>>
>>447262
No, not really, since the acid in your mouth tends to prevent that.
>>
>>447258
>>Smooth Scales (+1 Agility, move faster underwater.)
>>
Waiting five more minutes anons.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Large Tail.
2=Smooth Scales
>>
Your scales have grown much more smooth, and you can travel as fast as your flight speed, which is to be honest, very slow.

Elizabeth has also mutated!

Select from the following.

>Stable Mutation.
>Unstable Mutation.
>Extremely Unstable Mutation.
>Ultra Unstable Mutation.
>Attribute Point.

I'll hopefully get to her character statistics later today.
>>
>>447308
>Ultra Unstable Mutation.
>>
>>447308
>Ultra Unstable Mutation.
>>
>>447308
>>Stable Mutation.
This is the first time she's mutated without mutagens isn't it?
>>
Roll me a 1d50
>>
Rolled 45 (1d50)

>>447336
>>
Rolled 1 (1d50)

>>447336
You know what would be amusing? If she got pheromones.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>447336
>>
Rolled 29 (1d50)

>>447336
Large!
>>
45

Elizabeth has received... Superior Ice Aura

Over time, environment surrounding Elizabeth will become ice, snow, that sort of thing. Elizabeth can at will shut this off, but is uncontrollable in dragon form.

You wake up, and see the room is practically frozen. Luckily for you, you find this extremely comfortable, thanks to the fact you are an ice dragon.

"...Elizabeth, wake up."

"...What?"

Surrounding you, is snow and icicles on the ceiling... Holy crap.

Actions.

>...Elizabeth, how does it snow underground?
>...What is it that your mortals do when it snows? I think it's called a snowball fight...
>...Climb up to the surface. How the fuck does it snow underground?
>Elizabeth, are you comfortable in here?
>Write-In
>>
>>447398
>>Elizabeth, are you comfortable in here?
>>
>>447398
>Elizabeth, are you comfortable in here?

The garden? Is it okay?
>>
>>447398
>Elizabeth, are you comfortable in here?
Just became a dragon and shes already showing us up with her aura.
>>
"Elizabeth, are you comfortable in here?"

"...Yeah, why?"

"...You don't feel anything?"

"No, but it feels nice in here. A lot warm. Why?"

"...Well, for some reason the entire underground garden is frozen over."

She spits out some snow in her mouth.

"...What? That's impossible!"

"Well, I don't know what could of done this."

"...Hopefully the plants are alright."

IT'S FUCKING F-F-FREEZING, HOLY SHIT.

Actions.

>...Hey, Elizabeth... I think you might be doing this.
>...Cool! Snow fight?
>...You just became a dragon and already are better at your aura then me. Great.
>...I wonder if it's effected the terrain above us.
>Write-In
>>
>>447442
>...You just became a dragon and already are better at your aura then me. Great.
>>
>>447442
>>...You just became a dragon and already are better at your aura then me. Great.
>>...I wonder if it's effected the terrain above us.
>>
>>447442
>...You just became a dragon and already are better at your aura then me. Great.
>>
>>447442
>>...I wonder if it's effected the terrain above us.
>>
"...You just became a dragon and are already better at your aura then me. Great."

"What, are you actually jealous?"

"...Just a little, alright?"

She laughs.

"On the bright side we won't have to pay for air conditioning like the Americans, eh?"

You smile.

"Yep... Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to check on the surface to see if anything happened."

"Alright, I guess. How do I turn this thing off?"

"...Just tell yourself to stop freezing shit, alright?"

As you climb up, you see that there's a small layer of snow surrouding the flowerbed, and the plants have been frosted over. It ends about three feet away from the hole however.

Actions.

>...You should go back down with Elizabeth, this is interesting.
>...Get Elizabeth up here, maybe if she turns into a dragon there will be more snow?
>...Holy shit, you can probably do that mortal thing when it snows underground. Which is cool as hell. Snowball fight?
>Write-In
>>
>>447501
>...Holy shit, you can probably do that mortal thing when it snows underground. Which is cool as hell. Snowball fight?
>>
>>447501
>>...You should go back down with Elizabeth, this is interesting.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Snowball fight.
2=Just head down normally.
>>
You head down, and carefully grab a clump of snow. Elizabeth is currently looking around, amazed at the fact that she froze this place overnight...

Actions.

>...Take the shot! (Agility)
>Do it like a gentleman... Properly address her and challenge her to a duel.
>Nah. You must prepare for the siege. Begin construction on a snow fort, with the help of your mighty breath and obviously superior aura. (Intelligence)
>Nah, this is childish. Even for you.
>Write-In
>>
>>447530
>Nah. You must prepare for the siege. Begin construction on a snow fort, with the help of your mighty breath and obviously superior aura. (Intelligence)
>>
>>447530
>>Do it like a gentleman... Properly address her and challenge her to a duel.
>>
>>447530
>>Do it like a gentleman... Properly address her and challenge her to a duel.
>>
"Elizabeth! I challenge you to a duel!"

"...What?"

"A duel of snowball fighting! May the best dragon win!"

"Ha, you'll rue the day you challenged me to a snowball fight!"

Actions.

>...Throw the first ball! (Agility)
>No, fall back and secure a position! (Intelligence!)
>...Let her take the first shot.
>Write-In
>>
>>447552
>No, fall back and secure a position! (Intelligence!)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6
>>
Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>447562
>>
18+6=24

Great Success!

You set up a decent snow fortress to conduct your affairs from. Elizabeth soon follows suit, and the two of you are at a standstill.

Actions.

>...Lob a snowball over her defenses. (Agility)
>...See if you can throw a snowball hard enough to shatter her fortress. (Body, HARD)
>Try a more underhanded tactic, try to burrow to her fortress.
>Taunt her and wait for her to expose herself. (Charisma)
>Write-In
>>
>>447567
>...Lob a snowball over her defenses. (Agility)
>>
>>447567
>>...Lob a snowball over her defenses. (Agility)
>>
>>447567
>>...Lob a snowball over her defenses. (Agility)
>a tad bit
Do english people really say that? It seems a bit redundant.
Also, wasn't the mutagen that Elizabeth drank supposed to make her not be able to look human anymore? So only half or full dragon?
>>
>>447576
If I recall correctly, we reworked the mutagen and it's not absolute shit anymore.
>>
>>447576
Yes? I don't really pay attention, but now that you mention it is somewhat redundant.

Roll me a 1d20-6 to hit something.
>>
Rolled 17 - 6 (1d20 - 6)

>>447590
>>
Rolled 5 - 6 (1d20 - 6)

>>447590
>>
17-6=11

Borderline Success!

You grab a snowball and toss it over her little fortress. It doesn't exactly hit her, but you hear a yell of surprise. A snow ball flies overhead at you in return, and the two of you begin tossing snowballs at each other...

Roll me a 1d20+1 to see who is the victor.
>>
Rolled 15 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>447613
:^)
>>
Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>447613
>>
Rolled 11 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>447613
>>
15+1=16

vs

4+3=7

Great Success!

The battle is rather intense, though short-lived. You nail her inbetween the eyes at least twice, and a lucky shot sends her to the ground at least twice. Of course, this was helped by having two heads, but oh well...

"...Damn it. Good game, Ren."

"I believe I win?"

WHEN THE F-FUCK CAN WE GO? I-IT'S FREEZING!

I-I AGREE.

Ha, you guys are fucking pansies.

IN CASE Y-YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING NOTICED IS T-THAT YOU CAN'T FEEL IT BEING TOO COLD.

How cold is it for you guys?

I CAN'T FUCKING FEEL MY FACE COLD.

You actually see Flame's (or rather Khorne's head) shivering.

Actions.

>Your just cold because you're the firery part of me.
>...It's fucking nice here, stop trying to shit it up with your heat, thank you very much.
>...I guess I can ask Elizabeth to tone it down.
>...I wonder what happens if a human gets too close while her aura's active.
>Write-In
>>
>>447639
>...I guess I can ask Elizabeth to tone it down.
>>
>>447639
What type of breath does Elizabeth have?
>>
>>447639
>...I guess I can ask Elizabeth to tone down.

I would assume a human would suffer from hypothermia and die from Elizabeth's aura.
>>
>>447639
>>Your just cold because you're the firery part of me.
>>...I guess I can ask Elizabeth to tone it down.
Let's make sure she knows how to do so before we head back outside.
>>
File: Carlos.png (138 KB, 350x350)
138 KB
138 KB PNG
>>447653
I guess you could say... She gave them the cold shoulder.
>>
I guess I can ask her to cool it down a little.

A-ARE YOU MAKING FROST P-PUNS OR WHATEVER?

Yeah, it just adds some icing to the cake, now doesn't it?

THAT WAS FUCKING T-TERRIBLE.

Fuck you. That was great.

You shift back into reality.

"Hey, Elizabeth... Could you turn off your aura?"

"...How?"

"Just... Will it, I guess."

"That's vague."

"Try turning it on and off again."

"...But I like the cold. Why would I turn it off?"

Actions.

>...My second head is freezing to death. I think. Can it freeze to death?
>You'll freeze humans to death. Maybe. I don't know.
>...Because it's fucking with the environment.
>Write-In
>>
>>447696
>...My second head is freezing to death. I think. Can it freeze to death?
>>
>>447696
>...My second head is freezing to death. I think. Can it freeze to death?
>...Because it's fucking with the environment.

Not to sound all elvish but... think of the environment!
>>
>>447696
>You'll freeze humans to death. Maybe. I don't know.
>...Because it's fucking with the environment.
>>
"My second head is freezing to death. I think. Can my second head freeze to death?"

"Oh. Sorry... I'll try to turn it off, I guess."

"Also, it's fucking with the environment quite a bit. Like, how the fuck is there snow underground?"

"...Who are you, and what have you done to the real Renexizious?"

"I'm the real Ren, I swear."

"...That's exactly what an elf would say."

"When did you become racist towards elves?"

"Oh, the time when I got shot by one. And the fact they try to screw both of us over."

"Right."

You feel the room become a little less cold, but you can't help but miss the frozen aura from earlier.

"...So, just wondering, when exactly are you leaving for Stockholm?"

Actions.

>Oh, tomorrow. I think.
>In a week or so. That's when the month ends, right?
>Who said I was leaving?
>Write-In
>>
>>447711
>Oh, tomorrow. I think.

When we return, England might be as cold and snowy as Sweden.
>>
>>447711
>>In a week or so. That's when the month ends, right?
Didn't we say we were going to hang around since we have been away a lot lately?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Go tomorrow.
2=...In a week or so.
>>
"Oh, I'm going in a week or so."

"Right... Anyways, I'm just wondering how I should... Well, tell people that I am in fact a dragon."

"...Tell people?"

"Well, not tell really. More or less inform them."

Actions.

>...On second thought maybe you shouldn't do that.
>Oh, that's easy. Just transform and fly around or something.
>Simple, just eat some dissidents and other opponents.
>Just get a TV crew to broadcast you transforming. That's what I did. Actually what I did was eat the King of Sweden live on TV.
>Write-In
>>
>>447742
>>Simple, just eat some dissidents and other opponents.
Filibusting? Surprise, bitch!
>>
"Simple, just eat some dissidents and other opponents."

"...Eat them?"

"Well, yeah. Your a dragon, aren't you?"

"Erh... I guess, but still... It's people. And that sounds more or less like "fall in line or get eaten."

Actions.

>...If you don't want to, that's fine.
>Look at my empire! It was founded on the back of ruthlessly eating your enemies! If you don't eat your enemies, they win.
>Come on, just do it. It's just eating people, nothing major. (Charisma)
>If you want help, just ask. I know how hard it can be to eat all those dissident mortals.
>Write-In
>>
>>447757
>Look at my empire! It was founded on the back of ruthlessly eating your enemies! If you don't eat your enemies, they win.
If you kill your enemies, they win.
>>
>>447757
>Look at my empire! It was founded on the back of ruthlessly eating your enemies! If you don't eat your enemies, they win.
>>
"Come on, look at my empire. It was founded on the back of ruthlessly eating your enemies! If you don't eat your enemies, they win after all."

Roll me a 1d20+8 to see if this convinces her.
>>
Rolled 11 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>447771
>>
Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>447771
>>
Rolled 19 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>447771
>>
19+8=27

Good Success!

"...Well, I guess..."

"Good. There's no shame in eating your enemies. Now, who exactly do you have in mind?"

"...I guess the nobility, right?"

"Ah, good. Now, just call for them to gather in the throne room."

"Here goes nothing."

Flames pops into your head.

...Oh, dude. Can you fucking see if we can get the second wife yet? I'm fucking tired of waiting.

Actions.

>...Flames, we're not getting a second wife, alright?
>Well Flames, my master plan is for her to unstress the fuck out and then ask.
>Oh shit, I nearly forgot. I'll ask now.
>Why the hell do you want a second wife so bad?
>Write-In
>>
>>447791
>Why the hell do you want a second wife so bad?
>>
>>447791
>Well Flames, my master plan is for her to unstress the fuck out and then ask.
>>
>>447791
>>Why the hell do you want a second wife so bad?
I want to hear Flames' side as he is kind of the Devil's Advocate in most cases, but often is right.
>>
>>447798
This.
>>
>>447798
>>447801
I guess combine mine and this
>>
Why the hell do you want a second wife so bad?

...Beside it being totally hot?

Right.

Yeah. Also because I don't fucking want to pussy out of this. We're a dragon, we should be able to have as many loving and caressing wives as we want! Also because we need more people to take care of the chilldren we've had back at Stockholm.

Oh shit, that's right.

Yeah. Besides, I miss Rosa. She was hot for a not Spainard.

You think everyone's hot when you can put our dick in it.

...I'm not a degenerate, alright?

Whatever. I'll unstress the wife and I'll ask her then.

Oh, sweet. Wait, did we just convince her to eat people?

Yeah.

...Are you fucking crazy? Well, don't answer that. We probably are. But we've just told our wife, who requires a fuckton of food each day, that it's alright to eat people. This is a fucking terrible idea.

Actions.

>So? The terrible ideas are the best ideas.
>...Right, we probably shouldn't depopulate Britain.
>Nah, lets see if we can't get our wife on a power trip! It'll be fun!
>Write-in
>>
>>447791
>>Well Flames, my master plan is for her to unstress the fuck out and then ask.
Go suck an icicle!
>>
>>447816
>So? The terrible ideas are the best ideas.

If anything depopulating Britain is a good thing. It will open up thousands of job opportunities for British people. It worked with the Black Plague.
>>
>>447826
This.
>>
So? The terrible ideas are the best ideas. If anything depopulating Britain is a good thing. It will open up thousands of job opportunities for British people. It worked with the Black Plague afterall.

...Are you advocating for our wife to depopulate Britain?

Just a little.

Listen, let's compromise and just let her eat her immediate opposition, but tell her eating anyone else is mean and wrong and shit.

...Why?

Because she's our wife, and I don't fucking want to have our mom rule Britain. Besides, that would make sex weird.

Actions.

>Oh shit, that's right. Let's do that.
>...She's not going to want concubines or anything, alright? She has me.
>Oh shit, we should convince her to legalize slavery while we're at it!
>Shut up, Flames. I'm about to see her eat the nobility of England.
>Write-In
>>
>>447832
>...She's not going to want concubines or anything, alright? She has me.
>Shut up, Flames. I'm about to see her eat the nobility of England.
>>
>>447832
>>Oh shit, that's right. Let's do that.
>>
Waiting five more minutes anons.
>>
>>447832
>...She's not going to want concubines or anything, alright? She has me.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d3)

Rolling.

1=Ignore.
2=...Yeah, let's do that.
3=Shes' not going to want anything
>>
...Oh shit, I think your right. We probably should tell her to not eat everyone.

Yeah. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be looking at my album.

...Album?

Yeah

What exactly is this album?

...It may or may not be photos of all the women we've laid with. And they might be all naked.

Actions.

>Ah, Flames and degeneracy, such a pair!
>...Shit, I'll make sure to get rid of them when I get back.
>Flames, fucking stop being lustful for one second, god.
>Write-In
>>
>>447856
>Flames, fucking stop being lustful for one second, god.
>>
>>447856
>Flames, fucking stop being lustful for one second, god.
>>
Goddamn it, stop being lustful for one second.

...Shut the fuck up and talk to Elizabeth you fucking asshole.

You go back to reality.

"...So, why exactly do I have to eat the nobles? Couldn't I just crush them or something?"

Actions.

>...I mean, you could. But that sucks and isn't tasty.
>Well, it isn't as intimidating. Also, make to limit yourself to just eating nobles, no need to get the commoners riled up.
>...Huh? Well, humans taste fucking amazing dipped in butter. You should try some.
>Write-In
>>
>>447861
>...I mean, you could. But that sucks and isn't tasty.
>Well, it isn't as intimidating. Also, make to limit yourself to just eating nobles, no need to get the commoners riled up.
>>
>>447861
>Well, it isn't as intimidating. Also, make to limit yourself to just eating nobles, no need to get the commoners riled up.
>...Huh? Well, humans taste fucking amazing dipped in butter. You should try some.

Mmmm... extra large nobles dipped in butter.
>>
"Well, it isn't as intimidating. Also, make sure to limit yourself to nobles, no need to rile the commoners up... And humans also taste fucking amazing dipped in butter. You should try some."

"...No thanks?"

"Sucks for you, that just means more for me."

"...Right. Anyways, should we get going? I just called for the nobles to assemble in the gardens."

Actions.

>Yeah, let's get going.
>I'm not shitting you, get a butter vat, use the nobles and dip them into it... Holy shit that sounds amazing. Do it, please. (Charisma)
>...Could I help you for eating the nobles? (Charisma)
>You know, I've been meaning to branch out a little from butter. Would you mind if you left a few nobles to me so I can experiment with foods back at home?
>Write-In
>>
>>447874
>Yeah, let's get going.
>>
"Yeah, let's get going."

The two of you walk down to center of the gardens, which holds quite a few nobles, about three hundred. You make sure to take a sideline approach, and you watch Elizabeth go to the center of the crowd.

She begins to transform a little out of view of the nobles, and a sudden comfort comes over you, that of a familar cold. The grass practically freezes over in a few seconds, while the human nobles uncomfortably shuffle around... Then, Elizabeth soars upward, towering over them.

She hesitates, and leans in close to the nobles, who are properly terrified.

"As of this day, your lands are hereby forefit and the property of the Crown. Is this understood?"

The nobles all quickly agree, terrified.

"...Now, get out of here before I crush you like insects."

One of the nobles takes a briefly defiant position, but is snatched up and eaten by her, and the nobles start heading towards the doors, trying desperately to stay warm.

Actions.

>...This isn't the plan. Yell for her to eat them all!
>Well, you guess she didn't want to, it's her decision.
>Make mental note that you should talk to Elizabeth after this.
>...Well, this is good enough.
>Write-In
>>
>>447886
>...This isn't the plan. Yell for her to eat them all!

No loose ends.
>>
"Elizabeth! Your supposed to eat them all!"

She lowers her head to you, her nose directly in front of you, and she puffs a little, sending your hair back

"And? I'm not you. I decided to spare almost all of them because that would do little to help me."

"We can't leave loose ends tho-"

"I'm sorry, who's the Queen of England?"

Actions.

>...Do as I say, damn it! (Intimidation, HARD)
>Please? Come on, you liked the first one didn't you? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>Fine, if you want to not eat them, so be it.
>Eat them, or I'll do it myself.
>...Do it, or I'll get a second wife anyways.
>Write-in
>>
>>447890
>Fine, if you want to not eat them, so be it.

Could we use a pheromone so that they all attack Elizabeth and she's provoked into eating them?
>>
>>447892
>>447892
Well, you haven't explicitly discovered if you can cause anger, but be warned that this might also effect Elizabeth. So I guess you can try.
>>
>>447890
>Fine, if you want to not eat them, so be it.
>>
>>447894
In that case we should call it off.
>>
You sigh.

"Fine, if you don't want to eat them, so be it."

She smiles, which actually somewhat terrifies you.

"Thank you for understand, Ren. Now, I'll see you around. I've got a kingdom to run."

She gives you a kiss while in dragon form, and
she begins to shift back into her human self and walks off, leaving you alone. You can practically see that she has a spring in her step now.

Actions.

>...Whelp. Time for some personal relaxation. Without Flames, Khorne, or your wife.
>You should see what Viktor's up to. He did say he was going to stay a while.
>...You know, you should go to bed and meditate and see what the fuck is going on inside your head.
>...You should probably pose the second wife question to Elizabeth. She seems relaxed now.
>Write-In
>>
>>447903
>...You know, you should go to bed and meditate and see what the fuck is going on inside your head.
>>
You go to the bed and begin meditating. You emerge back into the room that you were in back in the Warhammer World or whatever. You do note that there's been some... Remodelling. The occasional skull is on the wall, along with other marks of chaos. As you go to the center of the room, you see Flames and Khorne watching a TV or something. And are holding cans of something, and appear to be cheering. You also see that both of them are wearing hats.

Actions.

>...What the fuck are you guys doing?
>Nope, get the fuck out of your mind and back to reality.
>Go over and sit with them.
>What happened to playing Bloodbowl you two?
>Write-In
>>
>>447910
>Go over and sit with them.
>What happened to playing Bloodbowl you two?
>>
You go over and sit with them.

"What the hell happened to playing Bloodbowl?"

"Shush! We're watching the second half-time for our last game."

"YOU SEE, RIGHT HERE IS WHERE YOU FUCKED UP. YOU WENT TO THE BORDER OF THE FIELD."

"He's showing me how to fucking play it."

"YEAH, THERE ISN'T MUCH TO DO."

"So, did you pop the question yet?"

"...No."

Both of them groan.

"This is retarded, even Khorne agrees."

"YEAH, JUST FUCKING GET THIS DRAMA SHIT OVER WITH, WE HAVE THINGS TO DO."

Actions.

>...Come on, just give me a while, alright?
>...You too, Khorne?
>Why the fuck are you trying to rush me?
>Can I join in on the second match?
>Write-In
>>
>>447918
>Can I join in on the second match?
>>
"Can I join in on the second match?"

"...Well, the game's only meant for two players. That would be kind of hard for... Well, you know. Three players."

"Come on..."

"THAT'S TRUE."

Actions.

>...Please? I'll play it with one of you guys.
>Could we just... Uh, well... Do a tabletop game? You know, D&D?
>I'm going you fucking nerds.
>...So, Flames looks like a red humanoid dragon, Khorne looks like a fucking huge viking, what do I look like anyways guys?
>Write-In
>>
>>447927
> fucking nerds
I'm a giant ice breathing rapist, I've got better things to do
>>
>>447927
>Write-In
We shall make our own version of bloodbowl.
DRAGON EDITION!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

1=Fucking Nerds
2=...Make your own version of Bloodbowl.
>>
"Yeah, well I'm a giant ice breathing rapist. I've got better things to do."

"...Like be edgy?"

"FUCKING ROASTED."

They high-five each other.

"...You guys are fucking weird."

"We're in your head... YOUR HEAD, for twenty four hours, listening to those fucking whispers and shit."

"IT'S FUCKING WEIRD, I HEARD ONE SUGGEST WE TRY TO FUCKING CHANGE THE RULES OF BLOODBOWL... HONESTLY IT'S LIKE A FUCKING HAUNTED HOUSE UP IN HERE."

"Yeah, what Khorne said. Also, I think you forget you're the guy who got us loving D&D and shit, so your the fucking nerd."

"I'm not a nerd!"

"Just fucking admit it dude.

Actions.

>Everyone in here is practically a nerd in their own special ways.
>I am indeed, a nerd.
>I may be a genius, but I am not a nerd.
>Fuck off, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>447935
>Everyone in here is practically a nerd in their own special ways.
>>
"Everyone in here is a nerd in their own special ways. Flames, with his love for women, pyromania, and helpful self, Khorne, with his love for battle and... Tabletop footbal-"

"FOOTBALL IS FOR FUCKING PANSIES."

"And me, the guy who does everything."

"Yeah."

Actions.

>Now, let's make ourselves a revised Bloodbowl game!
>...So, who wants to DM?
>...Could we do a D&D campaign of Bloodbowl? I think that might be fun.
>I'll just go back to real life now, faggots.
>Hey... Just wondering, do you sleep in your own rooms and shit?
>Write-In
>>
>>447944
>>...Could we do a D&D campaign of Bloodbowl? I think that might be fun.
anyone still alive?
>>
>>447974
I am.

I am forever here, anon.
>>
>>447975
well i am (almost) always here because i keep one of your quests open on an extra tab but i have to sleep sometimes
>>
"...You know what? What if we ran a D&D campaign of Bloodbowl?"

"That's autistic and retar-"

"SOUNDS GREAT.

"Yeah, fuck you too Khor-."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS D&D?"

Actions.

>...It's something Claw is into. You know Claw, right?
>It's a tabletop game. Where you describe the characters actions and shit.
>...It's a game, I guess.
>Write-In
>>
>>447978
>>It's a tabletop game. Where you describe the characters actions and shit.
i suggest we don't mention claw in all his autistic glory
>>
"It's a tabletop game, where you describe the character's actions and shit."

"SOUNDS A BIT BORING BUT SURE, LET'S DO IT."

"I'm going to DM this one guys."

"But that's my thing!"

"Yeah, I know."

Actions.

>...Fine, I guess you can DM.
>My head, my rules. I DM.
>...Fine, Khorne can DM.
>...Why don't I just get imagination Claw to do it?
>Well, you can just make a person like the time you made Elizabeth, Berenice, and Frankizka in your mind, right? Now... Who should it be? (Specify)
>Write-In
>>
>>447980
>>...Fine, I guess you can DM.
he probably knows Khorne better than us having actually been chatting when we've been eating people and stuff and so can make it seem less boring for Khorne
>>
"...Fine, I guess."

"Alright, so can you guys decide what team you want to fight for?"

"Team?"

"Race, ideology, faction, that thing."

"...IS KHORNATE WARRIOR ALREADY TAKEN?"

"If you want, I guess. Now, beastman or Norscan?"

"OH SHIT THAT'S ACTUALLY A TOUGH ONE... WELL, BEASTMEN ARE FUCKING AMAZING AT CHARGES, BUT ARE SHIT AND GOAT PEOPLE... FUCK IT, I'LL JUST PLAY AS ONE OF THOSE HUMANS."

"...Chaos kind?"

"NAH, WHY NOT A NORDLANDER FROM THE EMPIRE?"

"Who's a part of Chaos?"

"NAH, I FEEL LIKE CHAOS WOULD BE CLICHE FOR ME."

Flames starts to write something down with a vial of ink and his claw.

"Ren, what team are you?"

Actions.

>...Uh, I'll just go with Khorne's race, Human.
>Dwarf?
>...Ork.
>Vampire.
>...Elf. Fuck it.
>Could I just be a dragon?
>Could you give me a complete list please?
>Write-In
>>
>>447993
>>Could you give me a complete list please?
>>
"Could you give me a complete list?"

"Oh. Sure. There's the High Elves, Dark Elves, Dwarves, Chaos Dwarves, though it hasn't been updated in ages... The Empire, which is what Khorne's playing, Chaos, Vampires, Wood Elves, I think... Oh, also the Lizardmen and the Bretonians. And no, the Lizardmen are not dragons."

"...Aw."

"Oh shit, I forgot about the Orks and Night Goblins... Also the skaven... And the halflings."

Actions.

>High Elf.
>Dark Elf.
>Ork.
>Goblin.
>Lizardman.
>Skaven?
>Wood Elf.
>Imperial.
>Halfling.
>Chaos.
>Brettonian.
>Vampire
>Dwarf.
>Chaos Dwarf.
>Could you explain one of the races to me, like what they are good at? (Specify, and please don't select all at once.)
>Write-In
>>
>>447999
>>Could you explain one of the races to me, like what they are good at?
>Lizardman.
and if it's not too much trouble i don't want to annoy you can i see
>imperial.
>>
>>448002
That's fine anon. As long as it just doesn't go over five, because I might have to consider character limit at that point.

"...Uh, could you explain the Imperials and the Lizardmen to me?"

"Right. Well, the Imperials are the most average at everything. They don't exceed but don't fuck up at something. The Lizardmen tend to be above average at one or two things, but are an oddity, weird as fuck, and basically the Aztecs."

"Oh."

"...And can you not play them? It'd be a little lore disorienting if you do."

Actions.


>High Elf.
>Dark Elf.
>Ork.
>Goblin.
>Lizardman. (EXPLAINED)
>Skaven?
>Wood Elf.
>Imperial. (EXPLAINED)
>Halfling.
>Chaos.
>Brettonian.
>Vampire
>Dwarf.
>Chaos Dwarf.
>Could you explain one of the races to me, like what they are good at? (Specify, and please don't select all at once.)
>Write-In
>>
>>448005
>>Imperial.
>>
Sorry anon but since this is a semi-major decision I'm going to wait thirty minutes for the American's to wake up.
>>
>>448008
good i don't think i alone should make what feels like a relevant decision see you in 30 mins
>>
>>448005
>Imperial. (EXPLAINED)
>>
Imperial Human it is.

"I'll just play what Khorne's playing. What classes are we using?"

"Traditional, player's handbook number one. Now, choose your class and help Khorne out."

"Right. I'll just play as a..."

"I'LL PLAY AS A FIGHTER."

Choose your class anons!


>Barbarian
>Bard
>Cleric
>All Fighter Party?
>Wizard
>Paladin
>Ranger
>Sorcerer
>Rogue
>>
>>448037
>>Sorcerer
or
>>Wizard
>>
Sorry anons, but I've got to go for a little bit. Continue choosing your class please.

By the way, little bit means a few hours.
>>
>>448037
Paladin
They have the best stats.

You can't fool me.
>>
>>448037
>Paladin
>>
space risk thread on /pol/ if anyones wants to join

https://boards.4chan.org/pol/thread/84352328#top
https://boards.4chan.org/pol/thread/84352328#top
>>
[b] test [/b]
>>
>>448114
you trying to make your text bold?
>>
>>448114
I think only QM can do text formatting.
>>
>>448037
>Wizard
>>
>>448085
This (paladin), but if it comes down to a tiebreaker, ranger, then wizard. Or just roll like usual.
>>
>>448037
>Wizard
But with high strength, muscle wizard.
>>
>>448355
https://youtu.be/Ka1ap_t_PZ8
Like this?
>>
>>448358
That would work.
>>
>>448369
I still prefer a paladin.
Next time we play a game inside a game, I'm definitely picking muscle wizard.
>>
Sorry anons for the very long wait, but I'm finally back.

Counting your votes.
>>
Wizard it is.

"I'll play a Wizard."

"Right..."

Eventually you finish up the character sheets, but you forgot one very important thing...

What the hell is your character's name?

Choices.

>Reiker.
>Hans.
>Renexizious, of course.
>Reinhold.
>Swen
>Siegfried
>Write-In
>>
>>449450
>>Siegfried
>>
>>449450
>Gandalf
>>
>>449450
>Gandalf
>>
File: Hand em over.jpg (95 KB, 1280x720)
95 KB
95 KB JPG
>>449467
kek, sure become the meme
>>
Gandalf it is.

"...Gandalf?"

"I feel like you got that from somewhere, but whatever. Right, so would you guys mind if we do this later? I've got to plan this out."

"NO PROBLEM."

Actions.

>...Can we please do this now?
>Come on, man up and start it already.
>Fine, I guess.
>Write-In
>>
>>449485
>Come on, man up and start it already.
>>
>>449485
>>Fine, I guess.
I prefer my QMs unheckled.
>>
>>449485
>Fine, I guess.
Mainly so we can completely derail flames plot later
>>
"Fine, I guess."

"Sweet. So, let's do this later, eh?"

Every nods their heads and gets out of their seat.

What do?

>...Return to reality.
>...Eh, see what the fuck Flames is up to anyways?
>Talk to Khorne a little?
>Do you have your own room in this place?
>Write-In
>>
>>449515
>Talk to Khorne a little?
>>
>>449515
>>Do you have your own room in this place?
>>
>>449515
>>Do you have your own room in this place?
>>
"Hey, Flames... Do we have our own rooms in this place?"

"...No, why?"

"I was partially wondering where you slept that."

"...How the fuck would you go asleep in your mind? That's retarded."

Actions.

>...Yeah, just go back to reality.
>Talk to Khorne a little.
>See what the fuck Flames is up to.
>Write-In
>>
>>449539
Daydreams motherfucker.
>>
>>449539
>See what the fuck Flames is up to.
>>
>>449539
>>See what the fuck Flames is up to.
>>
"Then where the fuck do I go when I daydream?"

"You never daydream, though."

"...Still."

"Fuck, I don't know."

"Well, what the fuck are you doing right now anyways?"

"Trying to think up ideas for the campaign, so could you stop bothering me please?"

"Yeah, fuck you, no."

"...Fine. Let's talk then."

"Sure."

"So, anyways man, who the hell is this Hans guy?"

"...Hans?"

"Yeah, we don't really hang out with the dude. He's pretty much just there, like Anetta."

"Oh... Uh... Who was he again?"

"...First human we talked to? Guy who trained one of our daughters to be a fencer. Mayor of that little village where we started at? Guy who taught us how to barely use a gun? Dude who taught us the wonder of alcohol?"

Actions.

>Well, compared to everyone else he's useless.
>...I don't remember him, to be honest.
>...I've been busy recently, so I haven't really hanged out with him at all.
>Why are you asking me?
>Write-In
>>
>>449563
>...I've been busy recently, so I haven't really hanged out with him at all.
>>
>>449563
>...I've been busy recently, so I haven't really hanged out with him at all.
This just made me remember all those people we kidnapped and forgot about.
>>
>>449563
>...I've been busy recently, so I haven't really hanged out with him at all.
>>
"...Erh, I've just been busy recently, so I haven't really hanged out with him at all."

"...Yeah. Anyways, you know all those slaves we've been collecting over the past two years?"

"Yeah?"

"We should actually do something with them, besides just doing what the palace servants do.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to do something about it."

"Well, I think we should have the slaves do the palace duties while our servants personally take care of us, with feeding us, messaging us, generally making us look good for the ladies, that sort of thing."

Actions.

>...Well, that's an idea. I'll take that into consideration.
>...Why don't we sell a few for a bigger treasury?
>Well, I don't know about you but they make good snacks, and they should just remain where they are.
>Could we just replace farmers in our country with slaves?
>...I don't know, maybe we should just free them all?
>Write-In
>>
>>449595
>Could we just replace farmers in our country with slaves?
>>
File: image.png (224 KB, 365x301)
224 KB
224 KB PNG
>>449595
>...Well, that's an idea. I'll take that into consideration.

Friendly reminder
>>
>>449595
>...Well, that's an idea. I'll take that into consideration.
>...Why don't we sell a few for a bigger treasury?
>>
"...Could we just replace farmers with slaves?"

"If you want to end up like the Romans, sure."

"Well, I'll take that idea into consideration, but could we sell a few for a bigger treasury?"

"Why the fuck are you asking me? Your wife has the connections to slave traders."

"...Right."

"Dude, just saying with the money we get from slaves we should get a bigger lair so we don't have to constantly shift down to avoid squishing our wife."

"...I doubt we'd make enough."

"Come on, I don't like being trapped in here for hours upon hours, or at times days."

"Well, Khorne's in your head right now, so you'll have to continue waiting."

"...I just want my fucking head back, alright? I want to do things."

Actions.

>...Just hang in there, alright?
>Soon Khorne will be strong enough where he won't need your head, so we'll be good.
>Come on, just because you aren't killing and eating people doesn't mean it's not fun in here.
>Write-In
>>
>>449632
>>...Just hang in there, alright?
We need a third head. Ultra unstable here we come, or could we upgrade the 2 head mutation?
>>
>>449632
>...Just hang in there, alright?
>>
>>449637
You could upgrade the second head, yeah. But that would take three mutation points.
>>
>>449632
>Soon Khorne will be strong enough where he won't need your head, so we'll be good.
We can just think stuff up since its our head right? Would we be able to allow flames to do it so he wont be bored or is it completely limited to us?
>>
>>449632
>>...Just hang in there, alright?
>>449641
Might be worth it.
>>
"...Come on, just hang in for a little while longer, alright?"

He sighs, which is a small stream of fire onto the carpeted floor.

"...It's fucking boring in here."

"Can't you just think stuff up or anything?"

"...Doesn't beat actually doing things, besides good luck trying to summon someone who's not just a puppet or something."

"Puppet?"

"Yeah, they don't talk or anything... They just stare. It's fucking weird."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Actions

>Anyways, I'll see you, I'm going back to reality.
>Erh, don't worry, I promise you'll get another head soon.
>What the fuck do you want to do as a second head anyways? Isn't it more fun to walk around on your own accord?
>Write-In
>>
>>449657
Tell him we're gonna get a new head soon. In the meantime he could bunk in our head.
>>
>>449657
>Erh, don't worry, I promise you'll get another head soon.
>>
>>449657
>Erh, don't worry, I promise you'll get another head soon.

I feel like at least part of the reason flames is pushing for a second wife is because he wants some sort of female companionship. Ren has Elizabeth while Flames is essentially by himself.
>>
"Don't worry, I promise I'll get you a new head soon."

"Thanks. Anyways, you probably should return to reality."

"Why?"

"Elizabeth's coming to bed, man."

Actions.

>Oh shit, thanks. Go back to reality.
>Yeah, want me to pop the second wife question to get over with?
>Nah, I'd rather just hang out here.
>Write-In
>>
>>449679
>Yeah, want me to pop the second wife question to get over with?
>>449673
Now that I think of it this is probably why he's pushing it so hard.
>>
>>449679
>>Yeah, want me to pop the second wife question to get over with?
Just so we can get back to Ren, fucker of Cuba, QM extraordinaire.
>>
>>449679
>Yeah, want me to pop the second wife question to get over with?
>>
"Yeah, want me to pop the question?"

"Fuck yeah."

You warp back to reality, and fall onto the bed.

"Ren? Where were you all day?"

"Uh... Meditating?"

"Meditating? I didn't take you for one of those sorts of people."

"...I'm not. I just was recommended it by a friend."

"Right..."

Elizabeth undresses and gets into the bed next to you.

"...So, how was your day?"

"Good..."

Actions.

>...But why didn't you just eat the nobles like how I told you to?
>I will say you are beautiful in dragon form as well as dragonblood form, Elizabeth.
>...Hey, Elizabeth... Could I have a second wife now? (Charisma, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>449700
>...Hey, Elizabeth... Could I have a second wife now? (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>449700
>>...Hey, Elizabeth... Could I have a second wife now? (Charisma, HARD)
Ask it dammit.
>>
>>449700
>I will say you are beautiful in dragon form as well as dragonblood form, Elizabeth.

What if and here me out on this guys, we level up Elizabeth and get a unstable mutation that causes her to grow a second head like Ren.
>>
>>449712
No. Second heads are just not aesthetically pleasing despite their benefits.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7

Additional +2 if you can give good reasons to her.
>>
Rolled 4 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>449735
Its not for me but for poor flames.
>>
File: image.png (89 KB, 600x495)
89 KB
89 KB PNG
>>449730
I disagree
>>
Rolled 15 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>449735
I have no good reasons to give, because I really don't see the point of this.
>>
Rolled 18 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>449735
>>
>>449735
I guess it might be worth assuring her that she will always be our number one. But that's all I got.
>>
18+7=25

Success!

"So, Elizabeth... I was thinking."

"...About what?"

"...About having a second wife."

She sighs.

"Ren... You have me, and I'd rather not get into an argument."

"I know, and you'll always be number one."

She gets up, and looks at you. You can't help but notice her stomach looks... Large. Abnormally so, and you doubt she's gotten that from eating quite a bit.

"I can't believe it... But fine."

Actions.

>Thank you, you're the best wife I could ever have.
>Hug her out of gratitude.
>...With that behind us... Why don't we tumble a bit? (Charisma)
>...Elizabeth, why is your stomach so large?
>Write-In
>>
>>449773
>...Elizabeth, why is your stomach so large?
>>
>>449773
>...Elizabeth, why is your stomach so large?
>>
>>449773
Hug her out of gratitude and try to transition it to tumbling.
>>
>>449773
>>Thank you, you're the best wife I could ever have.
>>
"Not to be rude... But why is your stomach so large?"

She feels up against, and begins to press.

"...It's not moving."

"Hang on, let me try."

You press up against it her stomach, and it refuses to budge.

"...My professional diagnoises is that your pregnant."

"...Again?"

"Again."

You poke her stomach again, and it doesn't even jiggle. Strange.

"...Thank you though, you're the best wife I could of ever had."

You hug up against her and she holds you closely.

Actions.

>...Tumbling? (Charisma)
>No, no. Just continue hugging and go to sleep.
>I promise I won't leave you, alright?
>Write-in
>>
>>449804
>No, no. Just continue hugging and go to sleep.
>>
>>449804
>I promise I won't leave you, alright?
>>
>>449804
>>I promise I won't leave you, alright?
Make a note to self to make a gestaltation mutagen that prevents our legendary hunger from being passed on. Or did we make one like that already?
>>
>>449804
Promise not to leave her.
>>
"...I promise I won't leave you, alright?"

"...Thank you, Ren."

The two of you fade into sleep...

Eventually yo wake up to Elizabeth... Salivating in her sleep. Not to mention she's pregnant... Oh dear.

Actions.

>...Sound the alarms, Elizabeth is hungry and pregnant. And a dragon.
>Quickly, make your way to the kitchen and begin cooking! (Cooking)
>...Oh, uh... Retreat to the hideout.
>Write-In
>>
>>449833
>...Sound the alarms, Elizabeth is hungry and pregnant. And a dragon.
>>
>>449833
>...Sound the alarms, Elizabeth is hungry and pregnant. And a dragon.

Maybe now she will eat all the nobles.
>>
>>449833
>...Sound the alarms, Elizabeth is hungry and pregnant. And a dragon.
>Quickly, make your way to the kitchen and begin cooking! (Cooking)
>>
>>449833
>>...Sound the alarms, Elizabeth is hungry and pregnant. And a dragon.
>>Quickly, make your way to the kitchen and begin cooking! (Cooking)
Man battlestations and ready the 20s, it's time to cook!
>>
>>449833
>Quickly, make your way to the kitchen and begin cooking! (Cooking)
I think we're going to have to take a vacation to Russia just for more food.
>>
You get out of the bed, careful to sneak out of the room, just to see her eat the pillow where you slept.

You sweat nervously.

Roll me a 1d20+4 and say your prayers.
>>
Rolled 3 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>449849
>>
Rolled 16 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>449849
We're a master chef, get the kitchen staff to bring us everything. EVERYTHING!
>>
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>449849
So pray to ourselves?
>>
Rolled 15 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>449849
Oh lord, if Elizabeth eats anyone please let it be the British nobles.
>>
Rolled 17 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>449849
>>
>>449855
We better inform the staff not to approach the Queen without a plate full of food before there are any accidents.
>>
16+4=20

Success!

You rush down the stairs, yelling as loud as you can.

"My wife is pregnant! Man the battle stations!"

People just look at you awkwardly as you barge into the kitchen.

"I need ALL the things!"

"Oh shit, I've heard of what happened in Sweden..."

"I thought it was just a legend! A tale to scare children!"

"We're doomed! We're all going to get eaten!"

A cook slaps that man.

"No! We can do this! We must do this! We're at your call, m'lord."

"...Good. Get the ovens ready, set it up to 400, and..."

You begin cooking rapidly, until one of the servants from above rushes down.

"M'lord, the queen has sent a list of delicacies she wants for breakfast..."

You look at the list, you see things such as chocolate covered watermelons, french bread layered in chocolate, seasoning, garlic, and steak, or most infamously, a barrel of tea.

Actions.

>...Try to cook the specialty food! (Cooking, VERY HARD)
>...Try to make some food look like the specialty food! (Cooking, HARD)
>Just make normal food! (Cooking)
>Tell the servant to send all the nobles up to her bedchamber, and lock it behind her.
>>
>>449880
>...Try to cook the specialty food! (Cooking, VERY HARD)
>Tell the servant to send all the nobles up to her bedchamber, and lock it behind her.
>>
>>449880
>>...Try to cook the specialty food! (Cooking, VERY HARD)
>>Tell the servant to send all the nobles up to her bedchamber, and lock it behind her.
May the dice have mercy upon us.
>>
>>449887
Nevermind this, misread the noble part. DON'T send her the nobles. If anything tell them to RUN!
>>
>>449880
>...Try to cook the specialty food! (Cooking, VERY HARD)
>Tell the servant to send all the nobles up to her bedchamber, and lock it behind her.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4 to become the top chef.
>>
Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>449899
>>
Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>449899
>>
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>449899
>>
Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>449891
We're probably going to fail so maybe we should keep the nobles on standby?
>>
Rolled 15 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>449899
>>
>>449929
Considering she didn't want to eat people she's probably not going to be happy she did so once her hunger settles. Feeding her the nobles should have been a last resort if anything, not the first move.
>>
6+4=10

Overwhelming Failure, on a Very Hard roll!

You begin cooking, but the constant failures and difficulties in making "loaded potatoes with iron bars and donuts" is rather fucking hard.

While you cook, you hear yelling and screaming from above, and it seems Elizabeth ate the nobles.

Then, above the dining room Elizabeth falls through it, evidently three stories, and in her dragon form no less.

"M'lord, we can't cook fast enough! WE CAN'T!"

The man from earlier slaps the panicking chef.

"...We cannot abandon our post! We hold the line or we die trying, chef!"

"Y-Yes sir..."

"M'lord, I hate to say it, but he's right. We need a distraction if we're going to continue cooking up her specific wants."

Elizabeth lowers her head and peaks through the door which she removes with a slight tap.

"Ren? Are you making me breakfast? How thoughtful!'

Actions.

>Quickly, distract her and go out there! Hopefully the chefs inside can cover for you!
>Order one of the chefs to go out there and distract your wife!
>Erh... Send the servant from earlier to gather some prisoners for your wife's appetizers.You need the extra time.
>FLEE!
>Write-in
>>
>>449941
>Quickly, distract her and go out there! Hopefully the chefs inside can cover for you!
>>
>>449935
We get to kill two birds with one stone. Stave off Elizabeth's hunger and eliminate a source of opposition in England.

>>449941
>Quickly, distract her and go out there! Hopefully the chefs inside can cover for you!

This is turning out worse then Dunkirk.
>>
>>449941
>Quickly, distract her and go out there! Hopefully the chefs inside can cover for you!
>>
>>449941
Hope the chef's wish us luck.

We go out and distract her.

(R.I.P Nobles thank you for your sacrifice)
>>
"S-Sure!"

You go outside of the kitchen... You mutter your prayers to God. Which is you, but whatever.

WHY THE FUCK IS SHE SO HUNGRY?

Game over man, game over!

Actions.

>...So, Elizabeth... Why don't you wait in the hideout while we cook? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>...Elizabeth, are you hungry? Why don't you go outside and pass the time by flying around or something? (Charisma, HARD)
>...Elizabeth, what did you do to the nobles?
>Elizabeth, why don't you shift down? It'll be rather hard to eat in here. (Charisma)
>Write-In
>>
>>449958
>...So, Elizabeth... Why don't you wait in the hideout while we cook? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>>
>>449958
>...Elizabeth, what did you do to the nobles?
>Elizabeth, why don't you shift down? It'll be rather hard to eat in here. (Charisma)
>>
>>449958
>Elizabeth, why don't you shift down? It'll be rather hard to eat in here. (Charisma)
>>
>>449958
> what happened to the nobles?
Maybe we could guilt trip her hard enough to snap out of it
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7
>>
Rolled 11 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>449974
>>
Rolled 1 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>449974
>>
Rolled 11 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>449974
>>
Rolled 17 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>449974
>>
Rolled 3 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>449974
>>
>>449976
Fuck... do we still have barbaric?
>>
>>449976
Anons...

Use Barbaric?

>Yes.
>No.
>>
>>449986
>No
>>
>>449986
Yes
>>
>>449986
>Yes
>YES
>FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!
>>
>>449986
Do it.
>>
Roll me a 1d20.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>450000
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>450000
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>450000
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>450000
inb4 a nat 1
>>
>>450003
There it is! The 20!
>>
20

Critical Success, on a Barbaric Roll!

"...Come on Elizabeth, with don't you shift down? It'd be rather hard to eat me with your size."

"...Oh, well... You do look rather tasty... Would you mind if I just ate you a little bit?"

DON'T WORRY, I'VE GOT THIS.

Wha-

"HEY, ELIZABETH, SHIFT DOWN SO WE CAN... UH, BE ROMANTIC?"

"...Oh, sure. I dreamed about you quite a bit."

She begins to shift down.

How the fuck did that work?

...I'm fucking amazed that we aren't dead.

WELL, IT'S UP TO YOU NOT TO FUCK THIS UP REN.

Actions.

>...Well, why don't we walk around in the gardens?
>...Erh, why don't we just uh... Hug a little? I don't know.
>...Why don't the two of us go outside into the fresh london air?
>Why don't you wait here while I make you something ultra special in the kitchen?
>Write-In
>>
>>450032
>...Erh, why don't we just uh... Hug a little? I don't know.
>>
>>450032
>...Why don't the two of us go outside into the fresh london air?
>>
>>450032
We need to get her to the gardens.
And ideally away from people.
Maybe cuddle in a flower bed?
>>
>>450032
> gardens until breakfast feast is ready
>>
>>450044
This.
>>
"...Why don't we go to the gardens until breakfast is ready?"

"...Sure, I suppose."

You note that her half-dragon form is undressed, most likely because she didn't even think about getting dressed.

The two of you hold hands and walk through the eeriely quiet hallways, until you get to the gardens.

"Come on, why don't we just uh... Hug in the flower bed?"

"...I guess..."

Roll me a 1d20 to see how long you can keep up the cuddling.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>450083
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>450083
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>450083
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>450083
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>450083
>>
>>450094
The 20 saves again!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>450083
>>
Critical Success!

The two of you hug in the flower bed, and she actually falls asleep. Eventually one of the servants creeps over.

"...Uh, sir? Her breakfast is ready."

"...She's fine."

She snores loudly.

"...Sir, for the safety of England, I recommend she eat so she doesn't rampage or anything."

"...Just give me five more minutes, alright?"

"Yes sir."

You pass out not too long after.

"R-Ren?"

"...What..."

"...I just fucking had an egg."

"...What?"

"I fucking just had an egg."

"...Erh... What?"

She shakes you awake.

"I'm not even messing with you."

In front of you is a huge scaled white egg, about ten feet in size. Holy mother of God.

"HOW THE FUCK."

"...I was forced to be a dragon half way through your uh... Well, while you held me. I don't fucking know."

"...Well, at least that's over..."

"Yeah... What the hell are we supposed to do with it?"

...I think we just turned our wife into a fucking reptilian like us. Cool!

Actions

>Just... Uh, See if we can't get it into the hideout, I guess.
>...Holy shit. Are they supposed to be that big?
>Are you still hungry?
>Could you give me an accurate report of how exactly this went down?
>Write-In
>>
>>450136
>Just... Uh, See if we can't get it into the hideout, I guess.
>Could you give me an accurate report of how exactly this went down?
>>
>>450136
Take the egg into the hideout.
And ask her if she's still hungry.
>>
>>450136
>>Just... Uh, See if we can't get it into the hideout, I guess.
>>Are you still hungry?
>>
>>450136
>Just... Uh, See if we can't get it into the hideout, I guess.
>Are you still hungry?

Didn't Ren hatch from an egg?
>>
>>450152
Yup.
>>
"...Well, are you still hungry?"

"...Yeah, quite a bit. What exactly happened earlier anyways? All I can remember is waking up to a bunch of nobles in my bedroom."

"...Well, let's just see if we can't get it into the hideout."

"Ren, it's ten feet, and the hole is five feet. How the fuck are we going to even push it down that without it hitting the bottom and shattering?"

Actions.

>...Carefully?
>Well, I'll widen it, alright?
>Let's see if we can't move it somewhere else.
>...You don't remember what happened?
>...Something tells me it won't shatter if we drop it down that far.
>Write-In
>>
>>450176
>Well, I'll widen it, alright?
>>
>>450176
>Well, I'll widen it, alright?
>>
>>450176
>...You don't remember what happened?

Can't we just keep the egg where it is?
>>
>>450181
You could, I guess. Or if you want to go full-blown capitalist you could make it a tourist attraction in Stockholm.
>>
>>450176
The question arises.
Do we tell her she just ate a ton of nobles or dodge that question?

Personally I wanna tell her

(Also let's widen the hole)
>>
>>450176
>>...Carefully?
>>Well, I'll widen it, alright?
>>
"Well, I'll widen it, alright?"

You shift into your half-dragon form and begin tunneling down again, eventually it's done.

"Come on, Elizabeth. Help me get this down."

Roll me a 1d20 to see if you can get it down safely.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>450201
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>450201
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>450201
Dam I was always terrible at egg and spoon races
>>
18

Success!

You manage to get the egg down with the help of Elizabeth, and place it right by the statue.

"...So, why exactly are you looking at me like that?"

"...Well, your still hungry, right?"

"Yeah, I feel like eating a horse or something, huge like that. Why?"

Actions.

>...Well, you might of eaten a bunch of nobles.
>...You tend to want to eat everything when your pregnant. Sorry.
>Dodge the question.
>Well, I told the chefs to prepare a special course for you for breakfast... I hope you like it.
>Write-in
>>
>>450210
>...Well, you might of eaten a bunch of nobles.
>Well, I told the chefs to prepare a special course for you for breakfast... I hope you like it.
>>
>>450210
>I had the chefs prepare a special course
>>
>>450210
>>...Well, you might of eaten a bunch of nobles.
>>Well, I told the chefs to prepare a special course for you for breakfast... I hope you like it.
The brutal truth, softened with the promise of normal food.
>>
>>450210
>Write-in
"The kitchen was sent to code red status, they've made a huge breakfast for you. Sadly, in order to hold the line long enough we had to employ political dissidents as a distraction, good news is you only ate nobles!"
>>
>>450240
This.
>>
>>450240
Supporting.
>>
"Well, I have the chefs prepare a special course for your breakfast... Though you seem to have eaten the nobles."

"...What?"

"Yep."

"Goddamn it!"

"...Why are you angry?"

"I specifically told them I would spare them, but then I fucking lied about it and ate them for some reason!"

"...Erh..."

She sighs, and falls on the ground, slumped against the statue.

"...I'm not a monster, right?"

"What?"

"...Just tell me I'm not a monster. I... Please." She says this rather meekly.

Actions.

>...Come on, you didn't like them and now they're dead. What's the problem here?
>...You aren't a monster, alright?
>...To other people you might of been a monster for eating them, but to me your perfectly fine.
>...We both are, alright? It's just how these things work.
>...Hug her, she could use it.
>Write-In
>>
>>450254
>...You aren't a monster, alright?
>...Hug her, she could use it.

We should still remind her that we are both massive dragons that could wipe out entire cities if we wanted to.
>>
>>450254
>...You aren't a monster, alright?
>...Hug her, she could use it.
>>
You hug her.

"Come on, you aren't a monster. We're both massive dragons that could wipe out entire cities if we so chose to."

"...T-That doesn't help..."

She wipes a tear from her eye.

"...Ren... I don't want to be a dragon anymore."

Actions.

>...You're just saying that because you had one bad experience. Come on.
>...I guess when I get back to Stockholm if I could make a mutagen to make you human again.
>No, I won't let you. Who knows what could happen?
>...If you want to die, because that is what a human mutagen would do. (Lie)
>...Flames, what exactly is your opinion on this?
>Write-In
>>
>>450301
>...I guess when I get back to Stockholm if I could make a mutagen to make you human again.
>>
>>450301
>...You're just saying that because you had one bad experience. Come on.
>>
>>450301
>...I guess when I get back to Stockholm if I could make a mutagen to make you human again.
>...You're just saying that because you had one bad experience. Come on.
Though give yourself some time to think it over just to be sure you really want to do this. After all while not everyone can handle the power of being a dragon I believe you could
>>
>>450301
You're just saying that because you had one bad experience. Come on.
>>
>>450301
>...You're just saying that because you had one bad experience. Come on.
>>
"You're just saying that because you had one bad experience... Come on."

"...Yeah, and what happens if it happens again?"

"Come on, what's the big deal about eating mammals?"

"It's humans, and I'm not a cannibal."

"...Technically it's not cannibalism."

"...You don't understand, Renexizious... You aren't human enough to understand this."

Actions

>...Human enough? What do you mean by that?
>I thought I was very humanlike for a dragon.
>...You're right. I don't really understand.
>Elizabeth, please stop considering yourself human. It's not healthy.
>Write-In
>>
>>450338
Human enough? What do you mean by that?
>>
>>450338
>...Human enough? What do you mean by that?
>I thought I was very humanlike for a dragon.

Should we pull the species card like Stojan does?
>>
>>450338
>...Human enough? What do you mean by that?
>I thought I was very humanlike for a dragon.
>>
"...Human enough? What do you mean by that?"

"...When you go around stomping on villages and setting cities on fire, that's not very "human" if you understand where I'm coming from."

"...I thought I was very humanlike for a dragon."[r/ed]

"Well, yes. I won't deny that."

Actions.

>...You're right, I don't understand.
>Elizabeth, you need to stop thinking your human.
>So by human, you mean weak?
>...If you want, I could take a mutagen to make myself human. But not... Well, you know. Permanently.
>Write-In
>>
>>450383
Your right I don't understand.
Then offer to try being human temporarily.
>>
>>450383
>So by human, you mean weak?
>>
>>450383
>So by human, you mean weak?
>>
"So by human, you mean weak?"

"...I guess."

"So you want to go back to being weak?"

"God, Ren... You make being human sound like it's a bad thing."

Actions.

>...For being a dragon, it is.
>It is! My empire is diversified, alright? Look at how strong it is!
>It's not, alright?
>...It's not, so long as you don't let emotion get to you as it is right now.
>...If you want, I'll become human temporarily.
>Write-in
>>
>>450428
>It is! My empire is diversified, alright? Look at how strong it is!
>>
>>450428
>...For being a dragon, it is.
>It's not, alright?
Its just that dragons are the superior race.
>>
"It is! My empire is diversified and strong, but dragons are clearly the superior race. Wh-"

"Ren, without humans you'd be ruling over jackshit, wouldn't have any kids, and probably starving."

"...Goddamn i-"[/red-

"Hell, being a christian is a human thing. Congratulations Ren, nearly everything you know is humanized in someway, and you want to claim dragons are a superior race to humans?"

"What I-"

"Ren, just go, alright?"

"Why?"

"I'm tired of dealing with your ego for now."

Actions.

>I don't have an ego!
>...Fine, I guess.
>No, you aren't a monster. A monster would just want to be alone, damn it!
>Come on, Elizabeth. Humanity is just weakness... (Charisma, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>450428
>Write-In
>It's bad if you need to be strong, and I need to be strong to keep the Swedish Empire together. It was built on my strength and it's kept together by it.
>...If you want, I'll become human temporarily.
Worst case, we got some capable people who can help us out.
>>
>>450478
>...Fine, I guess.
>>
>>450478
>Come on, Elizabeth. Humanity is just weakness... (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>450478
>>No, you aren't a monster. A monster would just want to be alone, damn it!
>>
>>450492
This.
>>
>>450485
Supporting.
>>
>>450478
>Write-In
"Fine, I'll still make the humanisation mutagen but I would advise you consider this carefully. Since once taken you won't realistically be able to go back again for sometime thanks to the cost of production.

You aren't a monster, never think thus on your actions. I condemned those nobles to their death not you."
>>
"Come on Elizabeth. You aren't a monster. A monster would want to be alone."

You sit next to her

"...Thanks for staying... I'm just a little upset, that's all."

Actions.

>...I understand, don't worry.
>Why don't we get ourselves some breakfast.
>...Just saying, that the staff might be terrified of you. Just a little.
>Write-In
>>
>>450509
>Why don't we get ourselves some breakfast.
>>
>>450509
>>Why don't we get ourselves some breakfast.
>>
>>450509
>Why don't we get ourselves some breakfast.

We need to have Renexizious' mom to see the egg hatching. It's going to be the first full fledge dragon in this family since Ren himself.
>>
>>450509
>Why don't we get ourselves some breakfast.


>>450527
I feel like we should give ourselves a pat on the back, we have managed to single handedly raise the pure draconian population of this world to twice it's numeracy since our quest started. Admittedly if Liz changes back that kinda lowers it to an unimpressive 50%
>>
>>450527
We have dragon children, but this is the first time we gotten one out of an egg, so that's something new I guess
>>450552
Not really, there are at least two other true dragons. One of which is working for us, and one who I'm wondering when we will have time to visit.
>>
"Come on, let's get some breakfast."

Well, that could of gone better.

How?

...I was thinking more or less along the lines of getting our wife to tumble us again, but eh.

Tumbling doesn't solve everything, you know.

And? I just wanted to tumble.

Never change, Flames.

Too bad this is our last day with Elizabeth.

...I thought I had a week left.

Erh, not really. Maybe we shouldn't tumble Elizabeth again since if she get's pregnant we won't be able to... Well, you know. Stop her from eating people.

Right.

The two of you eat breakfast together, and after a massive feast, Elizabeth praises the cook and gives him a heavy raise. Then apologizes for eating the nobles and terrifying the servants.

Of course the rest of the day goes by like a blur as you try to tell the servants Elizabeth isn't going to eat them or anything... Eventually you slink back to your bed, exhausted.

Flames also decides to talk to you.

...I kind of love how I'm the fucking fire dragon head and I'm making up the plans and what we should do.

Actions.

>...Well, keep in mind I'm really fucking young for a dragon.
>...Keep it up, I guess.
>Don't let it go to your head.
>Any brilliant ideas?
>Write-In
>>
>>450565
You're right. Renevaris, Viktor, Basil and Viktoria are all our children who are full dragon. Although this future child will be the first one to have a full dragon as a mother and could be considered a true dragon.

>>450587
>...Keep it up, I guess.
>>
>>450587
>...Keep it up, I guess.
>>
>>450587
>...Keep it up, I guess.
>>450594
True.
>>
Keep it up, I guess.

Sweet. Anyways dude, remember Franco's report?

...Yeah?

And how it mention one of the Archons of Greece had a Minotaur daughter?

GODDAMN IT ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT W-

Calm the hell down! That comes later! Or sooner! Anyways, I think we should take over Greece, but try to avoid what happened with the Italians during world war two.

What are you implying?

Minotaurs are oppressed, right? Why don't we just try to kidnap her and get her to do propaganda against their country? Minotaurs rebel and we come in with little resistance.

Actions

>I wasn't really planning to take over Greece yet.
>Why don't we try to get an alliance against the Germans?
>...Your implying I didn't already make a plan to kidnap and seduce said Archon's daughter. Then murder the shit out of everyone in command and make her the leader.
>...Why do I feel like you thought about what she looked like for too long?
>You forgot the part where the Minotaurs openly accept being oppressed.
>Put your spare time to thinking about something else, damn it. This is useless.
>Write-In
>>
>>450624
>>I wasn't really planning to take over Greece yet.
Also, what's this suggestion about an Alliance AGAINST the Germans? Are we at war with them? What did I miss?
>>
>>450624
>...Your implying I didn't already make a plan to kidnap and seduce said Archon's daughter. Then murder the shit out of everyone in command and make her the leader.
>>
>>450624
>Why don't we try to get an alliance against the Germans?
>>450633
They started being dicks while we were in the warhammer portal.
>>
I wasn't really planning to take over, but why don't we seduce her, make her the leader, and get an alliance against the Germans?

Fine, I guess... Would you mind if I did the seducing though?

...Why?

...No reason, alright? I think we should just change it up a little.

Actions.

>...What, do you want your own girlfriend or something?
>I'll do it, you fucking degenerate.
>Fine, I guess.
>Nope, this is a double-team operation, damn it. We'll both try to seduce her.
>Write-In
>>
>>450635
Shouldn't talking to them about it and finding out what's going on with that be on the top of our list of priorities then? They used to be our allies before old Liz died, we had a good thing going with that.
>>
>>450641
>Nope, this is a double-team operation, damn it. We'll both try to seduce her.
>>
>>450641
>>...What, do you want your own girlfriend or something?
>>
>>450641
>Nope, this is a double-team operation, damn it. We'll both try to seduce her.

Yep. Flames definitely is lonely and needing for a female companion.
>>
Nope, this is a double-team operation. We'll both try to seduce her.

...Fine, I guess.

ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO PICK UP ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND?

...Yeah, I guess.

I guess.

WHY DO YOU MORTALS NEED GIRLFRIENDS ANYWAYS, IT'S WEIRD. YOU TWO KEEP TRYING TO GET MORE AND MORE WOMEN FOR SOME REASON.

Actions.

>...Wait, have you never gotten a girlfriend?
>Why wouldn't you want to be surrounded by beautiful women?
>Khorne, this is between us.
>Write-In
>>
>>450673
>...Wait, have you never gotten a girlfriend?
>>
>>450673
>...Wait, have you never gotten a girlfriend?
>>
>>450673
>>...Wait, have you never gotten a girlfriend?
>>
>>450673
>...Wait, have you never gotten a girlfriend?
>>
Wait, have you never gotten a girlfriend?

ALL THE WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO EITHER FUCKING GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING TZEENTCH OR THAT WARP ENCRUSTED, TENTACLE SLUT SLAANESH. NO WOMEN REALLY GO FOR A GOD OF WAR NOW.

...That's kind of funny.

SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I WILL BOOT YOUR ASS ALL THE WAY TO THE MOON AND BACK YOU FUCKER!

Triggered.

Jesus, sorry.

IT'S FINE. IT'S JUST A SENSITIVE TOPIC, AND I'D RATHER GET SHIT DONE RATHER THEN TALK ABOUT... FEELINGS OR SOME SHIT. BESIDES, I'M A GOD OF CHAOS. THAT'D BE FUCKING WEIRD.

Actions.

>...So, what your saying is that Slaanesh and Tzeentch are better at getting women then you?
>That's kind of sad, honestly.
>I guess there's a reason why the two of you get along so well.
>Go away, Khorne.
>Write-In
>>
>>450688
>...So, what your saying is that Slaanesh and Tzeentch are better at getting women then you?
>That's kind of sad, honestly.

>Write-In
"I am going to get you laid, somehow, someday..."
>>
>>450688
>Right, well I'm going to get back to reality and get things done now.
>>
>>450688
>That's kind of sad, honestly.
>>
"So, what your saying is Slaanesh and Tzeentch are better at getting women then you? That's kind of sad, honestly."

YOU FUCKING TAKE THAT BAC-

He descends into a fucking rage, and your head cannot even concentrate. You loose connection, and end up back in reality with a very, very angry second head looking straight at you in your half-dragon form. Smoke is coming out of his nose and mouth, in heavily volumes.

Actions.

>Sorry?
>What, it is indeed sad!
>Uh, if it makes you feel better I'll help you get women somehow, some day.
>...Don't even fucking try anything, Khorne.
>Write-In
>>
>>450723
>...Don't even fucking try anything, Khorne.
>I was only speaking the truth.
>>
>>450723
>>Sorry?
>>Uh, if it makes you feel better I'll help you get women somehow, some day.
>>
>>450727
Actually, seconding this one. Khorne, if anyone, should appreciate brutal honesty.
>>
"...Don't even fucking try anything, I was only speaking the truth."

The smoke stops, but you doubt that he appreciated the honesty.

"...I MIGHT NOT LIKE THE FACT BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THAT IT EXISTS."

He goes silent and the door opens to Elizabeth, who falls in bed next to you.

"...Why does it smell like smoke?"

"...Had an incident with my second head."

"Right... I won't press further. Anyways... I need to fucking rest a while."

"...Why?"

"...My body and my mind is still in shock that I had a fucking egg. Last time I checked I was mammalian."

"...Well, congratulations, your officially a part of the reptilian master race."

"Right... My body still hurts from it, to be honest."

HOLY SHIT I JUST HAD THE BEST FUCKING IDEA EVER.

Actions.

>...I'm assuming it's egg-related?
>I don't know if I'll like this...
>Erh, what exactly is it?
>No, no more ideas damn it.
>Write-In
>>
>>450751
>>Erh, what exactly is it?
>>
>>450751
>Erh, what exactly is it?
>>
What is it?

...I just fucking forgot. It included something about eggs and mutagen though.

Gee, fucking thanks.

You go back to reality, a little pissed off that Flames just wasted your time.

Actions.

>...Hey, Elizabeth... Feel like more tumbling? (Charisma)
>Go to sleep.
>Elizabeth, I think we should probably tone down on the child-making thing. It's... Well, it's a little too much at the moment.
>Hey, just wondering... Do you think I could mutate your egg laying thing?
>Write-in
>>
>>450763
>Go to sleep.

What was the name of Ren's mom again? I couldn't find it on the character sheet.
>>
>>450763
>>Hey, just wondering... Do you think I could mutate your egg laying thing?
For science of course.
>>
>>450775
Switching to this
>>
>>450774
His mother is Kersteina, and his father is Jorund.
>>
"...Hey, just wondering... Do you think I could mutate your egg laying thing?"

"...That depends, in what way?"

"...I don't know. What do you want?"

"...Personally I'd like to NOT eat people."

"I don't think that can be helped."

"...Damn it... Well... Any ideas? Now you've peaked my interest."

Actions.

>...Nevermind, it was somewhat stupid.
>...Well, maybe we could go for more eggs per pregnancy? I like having kids, personally.
>...Bigger eggs, equal BIGGER KIDS.
>Maybe something to just lessen your pain, I guess.
>Write-In for ideas.
>>
>>450785
>Maybe something to just lessen your pain, I guess.
>>
>>450785
>>Maybe something to just lessen your pain, I guess.
To start with at least.
>>
"...Maybe something to lessen your pain, I guess."

"Uh, it didn't hurt actually. It was just strange, honestly."

"Right, I'd imagine it is."

Actions.

>...Well, I have a different idea... (Specify)
>That doesn't mean we can't make you comfortable while doing it! For science!
>Oh. Huh. Well, night then.
>Write-In
>>
>>450785
>Maybe something to just lessen your pain, I guess.

If we do make it so that Elizabeth lays more eggs, it could effect her personality. Help for forgo her humanity and adapt to being a reptile.
>>
>>450795
>That doesn't mean we can't make you comfortable while doing it! For science!
>>
>>450795
>That doesn't mean we can't make you comfortable while doing it! For science!
>>
"That doesn't men I can't make you comfortable while doing it, damn it!"

"...Sure, I guess."

"...Right."

"...Well, I guess your going tomorrow."

"I am."

"Well, just visit once in a while, alright?"

"I will, I promise."

Actions.

>...Now, why don't we start tumbling?
>Go to sleep.
>I can stay longer, Elizabeth.
>...Well, fuck it... I'm going to start work on a mutagen right now! (Alchemy)
>Write-in
>>
>>450806
>>...Well, fuck it... I'm going to start work on a mutagen right now! (Alchemy)
>>
>>450806
>...Well, fuck it... I'm going to start work on a mutagen right now! (Alchemy)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7
>>
Rolled 1 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>450811
>>
Rolled 16 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>450811
>>
>>450814
Well, that's a wasted mutagen. Guess we might as well just toss it out or label it DO NOT USE and go to sleep then.
>>
Rolled 9 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>450811
Watch this save
>>
>>450817
nope, we getting turned into a human now. Or if op feels like adding another fetish to the counter, into a woman.
>>
Rolled 7 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>450811
>>
>>450823
We are? That's not even what we were working on.
>>
Critical Failure!

You get out of bed and take a small blood sample from Elizabeth, and begin working.

And you summon Smaug to help you.

Smaug not only eats the prototype, but promptly starts a fire not too far away from it before you desummon him.
Fucking Smaug, you need to discipline him some time.

Of course, once you stomp out the fire you head back to bed exhausted.

"...I smelled more smoke."

"Erh, science fucked up."

You go to sleep, and wake up... And you head outside, where Elizabeth is waiting.

"...I'll see you around, alright?"

"Don't worry about it, Elizabeth. I'll be back before you can believe it."

You fly off for Stockholm...

You land directly outside of your palace and shift downward. You enter the throne room, and sit down on your throne. Which is comfy, of course.

That's when the resident autist comes in. Claw.

He walks up and you can't help but shake your head... No. It can't end like this.

Fuck this, be right back, I'm going to find that supply of bleach I left under the table.

WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT THIS GUY ANYWAYS?

"...Hey, uh... Ren."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"...You alright?"

"...Yes. Just had to get that out of my system."

"...Well... I was wondering if I could ask you a favor?"

"...What is it?"

"Well, could you invent soda please?"

Actions.

>...No, fuck off.
>Sure! I love science!
>...What happened to the fak- I mean real space marine and that Bismark guy?
>What the fuck is soda?
>What else do you want?
>Explain to Khorne on who Claw is.
>Write-In
>>
>>450833
I thought we were working on the humanisation one, never mind, though my second point stands.
>>
>>450835
>Sure! I love science!
>Explain to Khorne on who Claw is.
>>
"Sure, I love science!"

"Thank you, Renexizious... Oh, by the way, could you invent the internet?"

"...Int-eeer-net?"

"It's called the Internet, and I can't connect to my World of Reichscraft account."

"...What the fuck is that?"

"It's the most amazing fucking game to have ever existed in the history of ever and I alone can boast to have a squad count of over twenty men for the Italian Empire, my username is KKKlaw, underscore sixty-nine, and I can blow things up with my Italian engineer."

"...What the fuck?"

"...Uh. Could you just invent the internet?"

Actions

>...First off, what the fuck is the internet?
>...Where have you learned these things from?
>KKKlaw, eh?
>Sure!
>Write-In
>>
>>450835
>Sure! I love science!
>What the fuck is soda?
>>
>>450855
>>...First off, what the fuck is the internet?
>>...Where have you learned these things from?
>>
"First off, what the fuck is the internet?"

"...I don't know. Maybe Bismark can explain it to you better."

"...Right. And where have you learned these things from?"

"Erh... Some sort of nazi occupied world."

"...Nazi... Occupied... World?"

"Yeah. By that portal we went into in France."

Actions.

>....Squeal, maybe you can meet senpa- You mean, your mentor.
>...I'll make sure to go to this world. Soon, of course.
>Claw, pack my bags. I'm going on a trip again.
>...Take me to Bismark, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>450855
>...First off, what the fuck is the internet?
>>
>>450869
>Claw, pack my bags. I'm going on a trip again.
>>
>>450869
>>...Take me to Bismark, alright?
>>450871
No trips, we just came back. And everything fell apart during our last trip.
>>
>>450874
This, maybe after our armed forces can contain the various nations they must martial. Also I kinda have some projects we should get round to. Like further research, attending our university or getting a job (we can tear an entire mountain of ore up and turn it into pure metal. Why have we yet to exploit this as a way of earning money?).
>>
"...Just take me to Bismark, alright?"

"You got it, come on then!"

You follow Claw, who goes up to his door. He opens it, and you the terrified marine slumped in one corner of the room in a fetal position, and Bismark sitting next to him.

"How are you two doing?"

"...Claw, when the fuck am I going home? I don't like the way you look at me and how you try to cuddle with me at night."

"...I need food..." says the space marine.

Actions.

>...Claw, why the fuck are they in your room?
>Claw, could you let these guys out?
>Holy shit, have you even fed these guys any food?
>Ignore it and grab Bismark.
>Write-In
>>
>>450902
>Holy shit, have you even fed these guys any food?
>>
>>450902
>>Holy shit, have you even fed these guys any food?
>>
>>450902
>Write-In
"Claw... I can't even. Would you please take the marine to France and back to his world? I'll take Bismark to figure out this internet thing..."
>>
>>450915
Switching to this
>>
"...Holy shit, have you even fed these guys any food?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I've fed Bismark. But space marines don't need food for prolonged periods of time!"

'I-I'm not a space marine."

Actions.

>Claw, the guy is not a space marine. He's just a neckbeard. (Charisma, HARD)
>Bad Claw! Take his marine back to his world now! (Charisma)
>I think you misread lore... (Charisma)
>...I'm fucking done. Grab Bismark and head out.
>Write-In
>>
>>450921
>>Claw, the guy is not a space marine. He's just a neckbeard. (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>450921
>Bad Claw! Take his marine back to his world now! (Charisma)


We should get claw a handler...
>>
>>450921
>Claw, the guy is not a space marine. He's just a neckbeard. (Charisma, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7.

Is it just me, or am I worried for Claw's kids?
Or worse, if they inherit his autism...
>>
Rolled 13 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>450927
Did claw impregnate his concubines?
>>
>>450929
yep, we had to get the shit kicked out of us for him to do it but he did.
>>
Rolled 10 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>450927
>>
>>450931
Guess we should get claw his own tard wrangler so he doesnt accidentally kill his kids.
>>
13+7=20

Borderline Success.

"Claw, the guy isn't a space marine. He's just a neckbeard."

"...What?"

"Yeah. It's true. Just take of his helmet."

He goes up to the space marine and rips off his helmet. Inside is a neckbeard, covered in slime.

"What? NO! I THOUGHT THE 40k UNIVERSE WAS REAL!"

He begins to let a manly tear stream out of his eye.

"NOW I'LL NEVER FIND THE PRIMARCHS AND FULFILL MY DESTINY!"

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO FEEL SAD FOR THIS GUY OR THE SPACE MARINE. OR JUST LAUGH AT THIS GUY.

This is highly amusing. I recommend we grab some butter and popcorn.

Actions.

>...Butter and popcorn sound godly right now.
>...Laugh at Claw, the fucking autist.
>...You need to invent something to stop this level of autism from happening again. And soon, before he kills someone. Or his kids.
>Just grab Bismark and flee this hive of scum and villainy.
>...Comfort Claw? This is fucking weird.
>Write-In
>>
>>450944
>...You need to invent something to stop this level of autism from happening again. And soon, before he kills someone. Or his kids.
>Just grab Bismark and flee this hive of scum and villainy.
>>
>>450944
>>...Comfort Claw? This is fucking weird.
>>
>>450944
>...You need to invent something to stop this level of autism from happening again. And soon, before he kills someone. Or his kids.
>>
>>450944
>...You need to invent something to stop this level of autism from happening again. And soon, before he kills someone. Or his kids.
Can we mutagen him until he isn't autistic?
>>
You slowly leave the room, determined to find a cure for autism. You see him grab a strange box and yell something.

"ASSIMILATE ME!"

You quickly flee the scene, determined to find a CURE FOR AUTISM.

Of course, in order to get a cure you'll have to get DNA from Claw... Right.

Actions.

>...Uh, wait until he's sleeping and enter his room to secure said DNA.
>Go back in and man up.
>Just ask him for his DNA or something.
>...Just uh... Nevermind then.
>Write-In
>>
>>450955
>>Go back in and man up.
>>
You go back into the room...

Actions.

>Quickly go in and grab a hair follicle! (Agility)
>This was a bad plan. Call off the cure for autism
>Uh... Just wait until later.
>Write-In
>>
>>450961
>Quickly go in and grab a hair follicle! (Agility)
>>
Roll me a 1d20-6
>>
Rolled 20 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>450968
For SCIENCE!
>>
Critical Success!

You grab some hair and flee quickly! You rush back to your laboratory, and begin working on a CURE FOR AUTISM!

Roll me a 1d20+9. (+2 from the Nat 20 from earlier)
>>
>>450970
dammit, reading comprehension fail, minus six
>>
Rolled 5 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>450971
>>
Rolled 12 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>450971
I'm not sure I agree with this, Claw's autism has saved his(and our) ass quite a few times
>>
12+9=21

Amazing Failure!

You fail to actually get anything done, and just pour over the symptoms of autism. In the end, nothing gets done.

Actions.

>...Well, since your here already you might as well try to do that comfort thing with Elizabeth's pregnancy thing. (Alchemy)
>...Keep trying. (Alchemy, ULTRA HARD.)
>No, no. You have things to do besides alchemy.
>Write-In
>>
>>450998
>...Keep trying. (Alchemy, ULTRA HARD.)
>>
>>450998
Just go back and comfoƕt him. Ask how his city is doing.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Keep trying.
2=Go back.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7.
>>
Rolled 4 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>451006
>>
4+7=11

Overwhelming Failure!

Your failure is inconceivable, as you once again fail to find the cure for autism. Bored, tired, and generally pissed off, you leave your laboratory behind and go to the surface.

You take a stroll through the palace, until you find Frankizka idly reading a book.

"...Renexizious? You're back, it seems."

"Yeah, I am."

"Ah, well. I will say Stockholm is lovely... Outside of a laboratory's cell of course."

"...Right."

"Anyways, did your wife agree after further consideration?"

"...The marriage?"

"Of course."

"She agreed after I convinced her and spent an entire month trying to."

"Intriguing. So, you do realize there might be a few complications to having me as your wife, right?"

"Besides the fact your a vampire?"

"...Well, yes. But I just want you to know some important information."

Actions.

>...What is it?
>No, I think I know it all.
>...That you're beautiful?
>Write-In
>>
>>451022
>...What is it?
>Write-In
"Please no demonic, magical or other such curses. I've got no more time to spare having to sacrifice shit to dark gods for people."
>>
>>451022
>...What is it?
>>
"What is it? And please no demonic, magical, or any such curses. I've got no more time to spare to sacrifice shit to dark gods for people."

"...Well then, you'll be slightly thrilled by what I've got to tell you then. So, as you understand vampires are essentially a beacon for undead, and no, I cannot stop doing that. Second of all, I cannot go on sacred grounds, so the marriage can't really be held officially in a church."

Actions.

>...Well, what sort of undead are we talking about?
>Oooh, undead! Can we do science with them?
>Goddamn it, I knew this was a bad idea.
>...So, you can't go on holy grounds?
>Write-In
>>
>>451028
>Write-In
"So long as they aren't eating my citizens, my butter or being a nuisance I don't mind. Also my marriage to Elizabeth wasn't done in a church, though it was officiated by a priest. Would that be okay?"
>>
>>451035
Anon, your marriage was in a cathedral.
>>
>>451028
>...Well, what sort of undead are we talking about?
We can just have it at our palace then.
>>
"So long as they aren't eating my citizens, my butter or being a nuisance I don't mind. "

"Good. It's not much but it's important to know."

"No doubt... Just wondering, do you want to still be married by a priest?"

She shakes her head.

"It's hard being in the same room as one, and being next to one tends to hurt a little. But I would like it, I suppose."

"...Oh. By the way, what undead are we talking about?"

"...Erh, zombies, skeletons. Ghouls. That's really it."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh, by the way... Something about you screams religion to me."

"...Religion?"

"Yeah. Are you wearing any religious symbols?"

Actions.

>...Erh, I have a mark of Khorne on my stomach.
>I may or may not have a Chaos God in my second head.
>...Uh, no?
>...What if I was?
>Write-In
>>
>>451046
>I may or may not have a Chaos God in my second head.
Might as well inform her that we have our own religion that worships us.
>>
>>451046
>I may or may not have a Chaos God in my second head.
>Write-In
"I am also the head of a major religion in this universe. A sect of which thinks I am a god, no comment on that."
>>
"...I may or may not have a Chaos God trapped in my second head, and may have my own religion that worships me."

"...First off, the allergy to religions only applies to actual gods. Second off, are you mad?"

"...I know, I know."

"That's brilliant! Now, which one?"

"...Erh... Khorne?"

"...Khorne?"

"Yeah?"

"You couldn't got for anything interesting, like Tzeentch or Slaanesh? You went for the Chaos God that can only swing an axe?"

"...You make it sound stupid."

"Wait, key words... Did you invite it or capture it?"

"I invited it?"

You give a slight smile.

"...Well, at least your honest. And at least it isn't Slaanesh or Tzeentch, because we'd be fucked by then."

"Right."

"Normally I'd call you a heretic or a heathen in my youth, but right now I'll just settle for assuming you aren't worshiping said god."

"No, not really."

"Good."

Actions.

>...For a warrior nun, you took that well.
>Erh, thanks for not flipping out on me and calling me an idiot.
>So, just wondering... Do you feel up for helping me with SCIENCE?
>...Well, I'll see you around.
>Write-In
>>
>>451071
>...For a warrior nun, you took that well.
>>
>>451071
>...For a warrior nun, you took that well.
>>
"For a warrior nun, you took that well."

"...Well, I don't like it but so long as it's controlled I'm fine with it. Just don't fucking even try to mention it to Adelmann."

"Oh sweet heavens, no."

"Anyways, I have a question... What exactly does being a second wife entail?"

Actions.

>...Everything a normal wife does.
>Erh... Just sleep with me, get the occasional tumble, and I talk to them on occasion.
>Tumbling and talking rights, really.
>...Just talking rights, for some reason.
>...How do you feel about being mutated?
>Write-in
>>
>>451081
>Write-in
"Well, obviously there are the standard things, sex, cuddles and companionship but I would also expect you to act in service of the empire. For instance, if I leave on a trip and no one else can lead or you are most able then it'd be you duty to do so. At least until I return."
>>
>>451081
Supporting >>451084
>>

"Well, obviously there are the standard things, sex, cuddles and companionship but I would also expect you to act in service of the empire. For instance, if I leave on a trip and no one else can lead or you are most able then it'd be you duty to do so. At least until I return."


"Right. So basically a standard wife?"

"I would guess so."

"Intriguing... Now, would you mind if I ask you a rather personal question, so I can get the quota on what exactly this marriage is?"

"...What is it?"

"...Are you truly in love with me, or just interested?"

"...Oh."

Actions.

>...Well, I love you like I love my wife, of course. Why else would I marry you?
>I'd say I love you, but not nearly as much as my wife.
>...I'd say I'm just interested in you, to be honest.
>...Not really, I thought it would be fun to test the waters with Elizabeth.
>Why are you asking me?
>Write-In
>>
>>451095
>I'd say I love you, but not nearly as much as my wife.
Love needs time to blossom.
>>
>>451095
>...Well, I love you like I love my wife, of course. Why else would I marry you?
>Write-In
"If it came down to it however, I would take Elizabeth because if nothing else, and trust me I have reasons, she is my first love."
>>
>>451095
I love both of you in different ways. Elizabeth will always be there for me, but it's refreshing to have someone like me by my side who isn't my child.
>>
"...Well, I love you. But I love both of you in different ways, if that makes sense. I'd say though that I favor Elizabeth, as she is my first love."

"Ah, I suppose that is an admirable trait."

"Besides, it's refreshing to have someone like me by side."

"...When I think about it, I suppose I am rather like you, no?"

"Quite."

"Hm. I'm interested to see where this relationship goes, and I am eternally grateful for you restoring Mousillon to it's glory, personally."

"...So you don't love me?"

She scratches the back of her head, and blushes...

"...I wouldn't say that, as it's rude... But I am highly willing to give it a chance, and I would encourage it, yes."

Actions.

>...Why aren't you in love with me after Mousillon?
>Good, having someone love you after only a month of knowing them is somewhat awkward.
>...Well, rest assured I will continue to gain your love.
>To be honest, it's rather assuring to see you not fall madly in love with me or something.
>...How dare you! I liberated Mousillon for you!
>Why don't we get started now?
>Write-in
>>
>>451110
>...Well, rest assured I will continue to gain your love.
>Why don't we get started now?
>>
"Well, rest assured I will continue to gain your love... So, why don't we start right now?"

"...Well, right now I'm a tad bit busy reading this book, but sure."

"...Mind if I ask what the book is?"

"The Three Musketeers, a rather interesting book."

"Well... I have an idea for bonding."

Actions

>...Erh, why don't we do science together?
>...Let's talk a little in bed, why don't we?
>If you want, I could give you a tour of Stockholm.
>...Well, it's been a month... Are you starving yet? I'd rather not deal with a hungry vampire.
>Let's uh... Read books together?
>Flames, do you have any ideas?
>Khorne, do you have any ideas?
>Write-In
>>
>>451114
>>If you want, I could give you a tour of Stockholm.
>>
>>451114
>If you want, I could give you a tour of Stockholm.
>Write-In
Road-trip through all of our conquests? Road-trip!
>>