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/qst/ - Quests


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Oh shit nigger, you're a submarine captain. But in the last episode you lost both your sub and your crew. But luckily, you were brough to the secret undersea lair of your cult leader uncle and he gave you a new sub along with a crew of orcs. Now all you gotta do is head to the dock to meet them.
What do you do?

Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>429833
Punch self in face
>>
>>429838
and here we go
>>
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>>429838
And so you did
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>429841
Pray for Harambe
>>
>>429841
Go find old crew and sub and combine both new and old subs
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>429841

Let us head to the dock at the same time punching on our face.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>429845
>>429841
>>
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>>429843
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>429853
check your to do list
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>429853
>>429845
>>
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>>429857
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>429865
Add commit genocide to the list
if it's not already on there
>>
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>>429872
It's on the other side
>>
>>429876
eat a taco.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>429876

Add getting a new sweet power armor with drills.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>429876
ask if new crew has women
>>
>>429887
sorry I'm new and stupid. how do I roll here?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>429893
dice+1d10 in the options
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>429894
thanks friend
>>
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>>429892
"No, chosen one"

"We're merely orcs"

"Orc dudes"
>>
Oh shit nigger. I haven't partaken in one of these threads since the Metal Wizard. I took a hiatus of 4chan and I thought you ditched this place. Only now I thought of checking out the "new" boards. Well glad to be able to partake in these festivities again.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>429903
Aquire female orcs
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>429903
" So why are we standing around instead of raping and pillaging? "
>>
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>>429913
Yes, time to find some female orcs

Roll 1d100 to find female orcs. Fist number decides if your post gets picked, second is the result

1-95: failure
96-100: success
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>429927
MUH WAIFU
>>
Rolled 60, 56 = 116 (2d100)

>>429927
TIME TO FIND BOOTY, IT'S ON YOUR LIST

nigga, don't you mean 2d100?
>>
>>429931

Looks like we just solve this the navy way. One of the boys is going to have to wear a dress.
Don't ask. Don't tell
>>
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>>429934
No, it's because no matter what, second number will be zero

No green skinned waifus 4 u
>>
>>429942
search for a taco vendor. genocide can wait.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>429942
time to search for "booty"

quest priority
>>
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>>429956
And so it is put inside your "important quests" tab
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>429967
check out your new sub
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>429967
What about the old crew?
They'd still be useful.
Unless they suddenly became our rivals
>>
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>>429980
MEANWHILE, BACK AT YOUR OLD SUB

"Alright guys, that was great, good job all around."

"Yeah, our raid on the pirate-themed tourist cruise sub was a huge success"
>>
>>429998
your new sub is shaped like a sandwich
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>429998
your new crew must also acquire costumes
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>429998
Give them a call and see if they want to join you again
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>429998
Those assholes
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>429998

Our new sub is shaped like Millennium Falcon.
>>
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>>430010
Calling...
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>430031
btw

Your new Sub is entirely made out of weapons

because reasons
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>430031
" This is the automated massage to inform everyone calling how happy we are without our old boss. He's an asshole " " Yes, hello? "
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>430031
They accidentally butt answer the phone and you eavesdrop on their conversation
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>430031
your least favorite crew member answers
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>430031
Moshi moshi
>>
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>>430043
"Hey, you guys miss the old captain?"

"Oh you mean that asshole who ran away?"

"Yeah that jerkwad who abandoned his own crew"

"He's a dickhead"

"Total fucker"

"Huge douchebag"

"Still owes me money"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>430051
You guys left me to die you assholes
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>430051
check new sub

fuck those nigs
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>430051
"b-but he's super handsome, right?"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430051
Masturbate to the conversation
>>
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>>430057
"The fuck you talking about"

"I mean...he's...not...bad looking, I guess"

"gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

"s-shut up"

"Yeah man, that's pretty gay"

"Whaaat, I just think he has a very handsome and attractive face with a manly jaw. No homo"

"That was pretty homo"
>>
>>430059
>A fucking 10
Bow down to me, the dice god's chosen one.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430061
Go on the most awesome adventure to make them jealous
>>
File deleted.
>>430059
>>
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>>430066
Right, so let's head to where your new sub is waiting. A cruise-sub, meant for tourism. That's what you asked your uncle for in the last episode.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>430077
check out the captain's quarters
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>430077
Paint it awesome colors
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>430077
spray your name on the sub
>>430070
I thought it's customary to not post pics in quests threads
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>430077
Paint a dick on it and laugh until the sun goes down
>>
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>>430086
aND SO YOU DID
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>430092
Adventure
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>430092
Use crafting skill to make the ship dope as fuck
>>
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>>430096
"Aye, captain. Where to?"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>430101
where you can find "booty"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430101
To sunken pirate treasure island
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>430101
AdventureLand
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430086

I thought it was fine posting reaction... Deleted image.

>>430101

To sunken pirate treasure island with BOOTY.
>>
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>>430106
"Very well captain, here is the map"

"On our way there we'll have to pass through treacherous ravines, sea monsters and a giant robot"

>>430112
It is fine mah nigga, no worries.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>430114
Yolo

lets go
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430114
Why dont we go all the way around and avoid all that?
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430114
go befriend the giant octopus
>>
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>>430120
"Fuck you faggot, I'm building a railroad here and you're gonna ride on it" said OP
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>430125
What if we just steal the giant mech and shoot our way through?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>430125
Quicky everyone! Destroy the railroad ahead of us fellow anons!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>430125
okay now go befriend octobro
>>
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>>430129
You fired torpedoes and blew up OP's railroald

"Nooooooooooo, my videogame-like progressioooooonnnn"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>430136
Steal the mech while OP tries to fix the railroad.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>430136
you spot something moving underneath the rubble
>>
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>>430138
Roll 2d100 to attempt to capture mech

1-59: great failure
60-89: failure
90-100: success
>>
Rolled 85, 100 = 185 (2d100)

>>430155
k
>>
>>430160
Oh shit, it's the chosen one
>>
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>>430160
YOu got: a mech. Your sub is now housed inside it
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>430171
Use this mech to defeat a wai- I mean Kaiju.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>430171
Upgrade the mech with swag
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>430171
make the mech pose
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430171
Hey, nothing can possibly go wrong now right?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>430171
What does the mech have?
>>
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>>430176
ktonk
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430182
fight a random innocent kaiju

he has a family of 3
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430182
Now go battle an ancient horror for loot
>>
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>>430186
Ah yes, an innocent family kaiju that works hard every day from 9 to 5. He has a wife and kid, whom he dearly loves.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>430198
DEUS VULT

KILL KAIJU DAD
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430198
2 CHOICES, GIVE US THE KID OR DEATH
>>
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>>430203
"WHAT?! No! Get outta my home!"
>>
>>430198
They both eat the kid
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>430205
Final chance!*Flashing guns menacingly.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430205
Option 1
Kill them all
Option 2
Kill them all
Option 3
Kill them all
>>
>>430218
>E.Y.E
>>
>>430223
What, are you a Jian or something?
>>
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>>430218
"ASSHOLE!"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>430242
Recruit Kaiju
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>430242
Pick option 4, purge the father and enslave the others.
>>
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>>430249
And now, you fight Kaiju Dad
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>430258
He tears mech apart like wet carboard
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>430258
Use our mega combo
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>430258
Shoot that dumbass who doesn't have guns.
>>
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>>430265
roll 2d100

1-59: great failure
60-89: failure
90-100: success
>>
Rolled 79, 100 = 179 (2d100)

>>430279
>>430262
>>
>>430280
fug I wanted a shitty roll not a 100
>>
>>430279
>>430280
THE CHOSEN ONES ARE WITH US TODAY'
>>
>>430280
Two 100s in a row, the fucking odds for this.
>>
>>430283
Shut it Kaiju apologist.
We're purging today.
>>
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>>430280
"DIRECT HIT, CAPTAIN!"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>430295
It is completely unharmed
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>430295
Continue firing
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>430295
With that taken care of proceed to put the kaiju child into your cargo hold and leave.
>>
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>>430299
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>430309
The child begs you to stop hurting its father
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>430309
KEEP FIRING
>>
>>430309
Kill him an then eat it
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>430309
ULTIMATE ATTACK
>>
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>>430311
"Please mister giant murderous robot, stop hurting papa"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430323
Kill
Them
All
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>430323
Well little boy, for me to stop just step on into my cargo hold and say goodbye to your momma.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>430323
Kick the child
>>
>>430323
The kid gets angry cuz the mech keeps firing him,then the kid transforms into a masive monster of anger
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>430323
kill the kid without mercy
>>
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>>430325
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430333
Use the kaiju parts to upgrade your mech, also grow a villainous mustache.
>>
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>>430335
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430341
The mech grows a mustache too
>>
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>>430343
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>430347
So does your crew also.
>>
Rolled 4, 3 = 7 (2d6)

>>430347
Then the dead bodies of the monsters combine and make a mecha monster
>>
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>>430349
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>430361
Your old crew also grows better mustaches.
>>
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>>430364
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>430371
OH NO

THE KAIJU BROUGHT REINFORCEMENTS
>>
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>>430375
Oh fuck, Kaiju Granpa
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>430382
He is actually a pretty cool guy
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>430382
He was Godzilla's brightest student in Kaiju-fu
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>430382
Grandpa roasts us with his fire breath
>>
>>430388
but we are in deep sea?
>>
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>>430388
Luckily, you're underwater, so it doesn't hurt too much. But you still sustained heavy damage.

>>430390
Kaiju magic
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>430395
Set the guns to fuller auto.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430395
Your ultimate has charged

"Nerf this!"
>>
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>>430406
"Well okay"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>430416
what supposed to be your overpowered attack now hurts your mech
>>
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>>430430
Oh fuck, your guns exploded
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>430441
Grandpa suplexes us
>>
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>>430450
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>430457
apologise and recruit, blame your crew for the killings
>>
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>>430466
"Bah! You'll have to pay, in blood! You killed my son and my grandson! Therefore 2 of you must become sacrifices if you want to apologize"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>430475
ask if you can Sacrifice your old crew
>>
>>430480
Who?
>>
>>430485
Call your old crew
>>
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>>430485
Fuck, forgot pic
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>430485
>>430501
pick two random orcs and send them out to to the kaiju
then recruit him
>>
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>>430504
And so two orcs were eaten. YOu now only ahve 3 orcs left.

Roll 2d100 to recruit the kaiju

1-99: failure
100: success
>>
Rolled 98, 43 = 141 (2d100)

>>430507
flirt with him that should do the trick
>>
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>>430512
YOu tried to flirt with him. Sickened by your homo ways, the kaiju smacked you into a nearby rock and left
>>
>>430515
off to adventure
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>430515
Fuse with the rock
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>430518
>>430515
>>
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>>430520
You fused with the rock
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>430535
now for the next adventure

passing through a nest of shitty edgy music singing sirens
>>
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>>430541
"CRAAAWWWWLIIING IN MY SKIIIIIN. THESE WOUNDS THEY DO NOT HEEEAAALLLLL"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>430552
get depressed
>>
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>>430556
You get depressed, thinking about all the terrible things that has happened to you. Lost your sub, your crew, lost 2 of your new crew, got rekt by a sea king, got smacked around by kaiju, your thread suddenly slowed down to a crawl,...
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>430559
Consider suicide, start writing up a list of pros and cons for it
>>
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>>430565
Now, lessee
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>430566
counter sirens with elevator music
>>
>>430566
72 virgins
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>430566
Pros: you will get to meet your waifu for real, will no longer have to put up with your useless crew
Cons: the adventure will end, extremely painful
>>
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>>430570
Roll 2d100 to see if your elevator music works

1-49: huge failure
50-79: failure
80-100: success
>>
Rolled 11, 7 = 18 (2d100)

>>430577
slow day today?
>>
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>>430583
Yep, it's so slow that your elevator music actually enraged the edgy sirens and they attacked you with a sonic attack. Your mech and crew are rattled and stunned. In fact, you're so stunned that the thread will now be put on hold because it's wayyyy too slow now anyway.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>430588
Revive thread
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>430588
>>432270
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

Try to give the Sirens epileptic seizures with Dethklok music videos.
>>
>>432288
RIP in pieces
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>430588
Cast phoenix down to revive thread
>>
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Can thread be relly be revived? How many people are in here right now?
>>
>>433493
Probably not enough but I'll be here.
In my dreams
>>
>>433509
>dreams
for what porpoise
>>
>>433512
Got stuff to do early in the morning
Godspeed anyway NaP
>>
>>433515
Well it's not like there's enough people in here anyway right now, and I still need to eat lunch.

Update tomorrow
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>433520
It's tomorrow now
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

Bumpity
>>
>>433658
That doesn't count
>>
>>433775
Nuh uh, it does
>>
>>433779
It doesn't
>>
>>433783
Come on man
>>
>>433788
It's mostly because I'm physically incapable of doing it right now.

I dont have access to my drawing tablet right now
>>
>>433800
Please draw with your penis instead
>>
>>433817
no
lets not take things too far
i can wait
>>
>>433800
Is it required to always roll a dice from 1 to 10 in the quest?
>>
>>434017
Yes, whoever has the highest roll in a minute since the first reply will be the action that gets picked
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>434038
No it doesnt
>>
Yo
>>
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Alright, who's here for an update
>>
>>436901
hi
>>
>>436908
Hello
>>
Thats two
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>433493
>>436908
Roll to become a rapist.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>436908
punch yourself in the mustache
>>
>>436908
Heyo
>>
>>436917
You roll around in an attempt to become a rapist. Dunno how that would make you a rapist but you did it anyway.
>>
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>>436924
YOu rolled so hard you forgot the picture too
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>436930
Your moustache grew tho
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>436930
where mustache punching, OP?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>436930
Buy some crack
>>
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>>436933
Right here in my sack of wondrous wonders
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>436937
What else is in the sack?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>436937
Op punch self in face
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>436937
get super robot pilot out of there as cameo party member then
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>436937
A fist escapes and hits OP
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

OP becomes a faggot
>>
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>>436939
Skeletons, lots and lots of skeletons. And giant robots.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>436950
one giant robot plz
with boobs
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>436950
What's in the secret bag?
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>436950
Hello Simon
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>436950
Go fuck yourself
>>
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>>436953
Joke's on you, that's in the other secret bag, bye.

OP has escaped
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>436963
Back to the story! Lets repair our mech.
>>
>>436963
No he didnt
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>436963
he trips over
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>436963
The bag becomes new op
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>436963
Anon chases OP and steals the sack.
>>
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>>436965
And so a brave orc crewman volunteered for this mission.

But now he's being attacked by the edgy sirens

"CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAST RESORT" the edgy sirens "sang"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>436975
SUFFOCATION! NO BREATHING!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>436975
Send out the rest of the crew with harpoon guns to save him.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>436975
sing anime openings
>>
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>>436977
"Oh fug, the captain's choking himself!"

"He's suffocating and not breathing!"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>436987
Have your crew activate their stands to save both the orc and the captain.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>436987
That was all to prepare for a super attack
Sing naruto opening 16
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>436987
>>436983
sing anime openings fag
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>436987
Tiptoe through the window, by the window
That's where I'll be come tiptoe, through the tulips, with meeeeee


Woo those sirens with kind lyrics!
>>
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>>436988
"Like,...a hat stand?"

"Or a hotdog stand, wut?"

Deep sea orc cultists seem to not ahve watched any anime
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>436997
Oh. Cult right. Use your demon magic then
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>436997
lend them your copies of GEKIGANGER 3
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>436997
Just use your sacrificial knives
>>
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>>437005
"Aye aye, cap'n"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>437008
Sick the demon on the sirens loyal crew.
>>
>>437008
give demon your copies of GEKIGANGER 3
for science
>>
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>>437009
The demon attacks the sirens, giving the orc outside time to repair your mech
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>437016
watch your copies of GEKIGANGER 3 alone
>>
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>>437017
As the situation is now udner control, you retreat to your captain's quarters to watch GEKIGANGER 3.

But then you find somebody has replaced every single piece of media inside your room with a copy of Doozy Bots
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>437031
hang yourself
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437031
Investigate who did this
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>437031
Become enraged and find the culprit
>>
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>>437034
This is unacceptable, you must get to the bottom of. Let's start by investigating the replaced disc boxes, perhaps you'll find some clues
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437043
find a clue
detective dick style
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437043
Check the camera records
>>
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>>437046
"Oh so you eman mess around until you accomplish nothing because ur a faget?" said Crimelord Dick. Detective Dick's evil clone from a another dimension
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437053
Interrogate your crew
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437053
ask one from better dimension
you got him on the phone
he got same chin
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>437055
And put that interdimensional fucker on your suspect list
>>
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>>437055
"Alright, whodunnit?" you asked

Your crew all answered "Dunno, cap'n"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437067
suddenly coldgate commercial
>>
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>>437069
"HEY YOU! DO YOU FEAR FOR YOUR PERSONAL HYGIENE WHEN YOU'RE OUT CRUSHING YOUR ENEMIES, SEEING THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU AND HEARING THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN?! THEN COLDGATE IS THE PERFECT TOOTHPASTE FOR YOU! BUY NOW AT YOUR LOCAL STORE! ONLY 9.99--" then the Barbarian Co. Salesman was tackled by a KingCorp. Agent
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437075
meanwhile behind the scenes one of your crewmember dissappeared without a trace
>>
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>>437078
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>437075
Take out your detective revolver and search the crews rooms
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>437079
Offer the reward of the only jar of peanut butter we have in exchange for information.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>437079
find a boot
in a demon
>>
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>>437082
"Well, I did see this suspicious guy outside our sub"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>437094
Fucking rage mode activated.
Leap at him and breach through the sub just to get his neck in our strong manly hands
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>437094
ONORE QUATTRO
>>
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>>437100
>>437100
Roll 2d100 to bust through your own sub to grab his neck with your manly captain hands

First number is the choosing while second is result
1-49: terrible failure
50-79:failure
80-99: success
100: great success
>>
Rolled 6, 86 = 92 (2d100)

>>437118
ONORE CHAAAA
>>
Rolled 40, 87 = 127 (2d100)

>>437118
>>
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>>437120
"oh fuck"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>437124
gimme back my gekiganger you sicko
>>
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>>437127
"Whoops, accidentally threw them all inside an active volcano" said the captured KingCorp Agent
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437139
make him eat his hat
>>
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>>437145
"nom"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437139
Crew, time to bring out the shitty music.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>437154
Threaten to throw him with the edgy sirens.
>>
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>>437164
"Hah! Joke's on you! Listening to all genres of shitty music is part of basic agent training! The sirens are of no threat to me"
>>
>>437169
just make him watch Doozy bots for few days and nights straight
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>437169
Make him watch that mistake which somehow got onto our sub.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437169
Make him watch SAO
>>
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>>437172
And so the agent is forced to watch the horrible abomination that is the cancelled American Adaptation of SD Gundam: Doozy Bots.

He seems to be enjoying himself.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437186
change it on lucky star then
>>
>>437186
I'm absolutely terrified of how these guys were trained.
>>
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>>437190
"Blue hair worst girl"
>>
>>437210
Make him watch the ALO arc of SAO.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437210
slap him
>>
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>>437213
"My god...that is...one of the weakest slaps ever in the history of mankind. Wow"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437210
Call him names
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437219
I KNOW
THROW HIM IN BARBARIAN UNIVERSE
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>437224
>>437219
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437219
tickle the bottom of his feet
>>
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>>437229
"Ah yes, the one universe where the barbarians triumphed against the forces of the kingdom. I thought I was jsut a myth"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>437249
they'll teach him a reality of situation
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>437249
Toss him in
>>
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>>437255
As various sounds of violence emanates from the portal to Barbarian Realm, you think about what you should do now
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437269
PANCAKES
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>437269
Go to sunken pirate treasure island
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437287
Uh we are already there
Oh fuck what's happening to the mech?
>>
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>>437275
Right, roll 2d100 to make pancakes

1-49: terrible failure
50-79: failure
80-99: success
100: greeat success
>>
Rolled 18, 44 = 62 (2d100)

>>437293
do we have good maple syrup?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437269
PANCAKES
>>
Rolled 56, 13 = 69 (2d100)

>>437293
When did we make it to sunken treasure pirate island?
Last time I checked all we did is fuse with the rock.
>>
Rolled 73, 49 = 122 (2d100)

>>437293
>>
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>>437301
We didn't, still a long way to there.

In other news you managed so somehow blew up the mech into unrepairable smithereens with your cooking.

And your pancakes sucked.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>437310
Call your insurance so you can get a new one.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437310
Fuck
Head to sunken pirate treasure island while listening to house music
>>
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>>437319
And so your sub heads for the sunken pirate treasure island while you listen to house music

As is "music" made by literally recording the sounds of a house
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>437319
>house music
Kill yourself
Rolling to kill this anon op
>>
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>>437329
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437345
I'm bullet proof
>>
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>>437352
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437369
House music blares
>>
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>>437376
Music of the house plays triumphantly
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>437384
I'm behind you op
>>
>>437384
continue on our quest to find treasure and leave the poor anon to die in the depths of the ocean.
>>
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>>437391
You look like an asshole, anon
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437405
Start fondling op
>>
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>>437407
"That's pretty gay" said the captain

"Like his taste in music" said other anon
>>
>>437413
kill op
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437417
whoops
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437413
Use magic to reverse that sentence making them call each other gay.
>>
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>>437421
Whoops, anon's magic backfired on him and branded him as the homo instead.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>437413
Seduce op with a perfect pancake
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>437422
Damn black magic should have gone with China magic
>>
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>>437425
"Ay fack yu foleignuh, china magic tuu stchong fo yu"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>437433
Use weaboo magic get a fedora and a chinese-market katana to cut up op
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437433
Shut up bugs
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437433
Kill anon
>>
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>>437436
Nigga china shit is crap quality
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437447
Back to the story! Also anon has a heart attack.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437447
Use a vaginal monolog to scare op into submission
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437447
Use fedora which was silver-edged all along to cut up OP
>>
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>>437450
As anon dies of a heart attack, you've reached the sunken pirate treasure island
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437465
Suddenly, a giant kaiju falls from the sky
>>
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>>437471
Meanwhile, back on land, a giant alien monster falls from the sky onto some mountains
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437471
Under water faggot
>>437465
Explore
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>437492
A gundam falls on the kaiju
>>
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>>437500
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>437513
Moon it
>>
>>437513
They fight to the death as we get our mech out of the ocean
(Or did it get fucked by the sirens)
>>
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>>437517
moon what

>>437519
The mech exploded, see >>437310
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>437524
You show your bare ass to the gundam
>>
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>>437534
What gundam
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437524
the gundam's ours now
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>437538
What drugs are we on that were seeing all this shit?
>>
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>>437544
Just this little jar you took from one of your orc crewmen. Tasted like strawberries.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437551
Take the suppository version of the drugs
>>
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>>437556
"That's a pretty gay idea, anon. You sound like a huge homo"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>437573
I am ;^)
>>
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>>437585
"Let's put anon inside the gay box and not listen to his homo ravings"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437590
mhphf mphfph mfff
*muffled homo sounds*
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>437590
Explore the island
>>
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>>437599
YOu found a way onto the sunken island and finds parts of it has not been filled with water
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437611
But it is filled with Red Jell-o
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437611
punch self in face
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>437611
Dont forget to take your gun
>>
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>>437615
Undeed, somebody's been using this place to store Red Jell-o
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>437627
Have your crewmen take it to the submarine while you explore.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>437627
A dubloons in the jello
>>
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>>437636
And somebody's been using the jell-o to store treasure
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>437646
Dive inside to save the loot
>>
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>>437649
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>437655
Orcs better help or their God will punish then
>>
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>>437659
"Yes, chosen one"

With a push from one of the orcs, you are launched straight into the jello and at the treasure
>>
>>437678
Retrieve the treasure and eat your way out
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437678
We get shot straight through and miss the treasure.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>437689
Whoops>>437678
>>
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>>437695
You got: ancient gold coin
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437709
eat it
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437709
Spend it on a soda
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>437709
Store jello for food
>>
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>>437718
As you look around for a source of soda you can spend the coin on, you find another opening leading further inside.

Perhaps there's soda in there
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437724
Nope. You found your old Cook though.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437724
Let's check it out
>>
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>>437741
"You! What are you doing here?"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>437760
"Not eating Manlet if that's what you are thinking."
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437760
I missed you guys... and I'm the chosen one
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>437760
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
>>
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>>437777
"Well, I'm...uh..we're....*cough*totallynotusingthissunkenpirateislandasasecretstashofallthetreasurewevegotafteryou'veleftifthatswhatyoureimplying*cough*...I uh mean...we're exploring this here totally new and undiscovered sunken pirate island, yes"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437799
I miss you guys .. these orcs are boring....
And didn't you leave me to a Fishman mob attack?!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>437799
Cultist use their sacrificial knives on Cook
>>
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>>437805
"Actually, we were escaping a fishman mob with you onboard but then you decided to abandon us by using one of the escape pods and launched yourself into the deep dark abyss" said the manlet
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437816
No way I remember you guys were contemplating saving and I got saved by cultists, you little liar!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>437816
Wait, I just have to catch up with the quest before I reply
>>
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>>437828
"Well you see, as Steve tells it, we were an independent submarine crew in search of treasure and profit in the deep dark ocean, in our recent travels we battled sea monsters and giant robots shaped like sea monsters. Tangled with the navy and the paladins. Even got arrested. Twice. In our last encounter when you're still captain we unwittingly challenged the Sea King of Atlantis and got our shit pushed in. When we were making a tactical retreat you for some reason used an escape pod to attack the seamen by yourself, leaving us behind. And before we could do anything you got taken by cultitsts. So now apparently you have a new crew now composed of brainwashed orc cultists because youre a dumbass who still owes him money. That's what Steve said"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>437860
Your symbiote comes to greet you
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>437860
Steve is an idiot. Come join my crew it will be fun and Steve can join if he wants.
>>
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>>437869
"Greetings, former host"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>437891
Want to be a cool suit of armor again?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>437891
Oh wow, way to latch on to Steve, you were so close to being the chosen one.


You say smugly
>>
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>>437897
"Eeeeeeeeh...I do that with Steve now. He feeds me burgers n stuff"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>437910
Can someone explain the jello?
>>
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>>437915
"What is there to explain? It's just jell-o"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>437911
>>2
>"dice+2d6" without the quotes in the options field rolls 2d6

>>437918
Can we get a list of our objectives and status report? Didn't one of our orcs die?
>>
>>437925
Also curious
>>
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>>437925
Checking your to-do list gives you your current tasks.

As for status, you currently have a Cruise-class sub, meant for tourism, minimal weapons, average armor.

Your current consists of: 2 orcs. It used to be more but two of them were sacrificed to a kaiju because you killed his son and grandson, and one disappeared mysteriously, most liekly killed by the KingCorp agent you sent to the Barbarian dimension.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>437940
Hey old crew, do you guys happen to have any robots for sale that can act as crew?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437940
Try to get your old crew to join you instead of gloating
>>
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>>437944
"Well, we do ahve robots, but I'm afraid they're already part of our crew"

"Alright guys, bring the huge treasure chest full of booty over here, next to the other huge treasure chest full of booty."
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>437960
Get depressed
Call uncle for back up
>>
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>>437976
But which one of your uncles? Owner of KingCorp Uncle; Cult Leader Uncle or Mercenary uncle?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>437995
Eh... all of them.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>437995
The cool one, you know ..... the really cool one, that way your old crew will want to join again.
>>
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>>438000
Ah yes, your literal coolest uncle. Cryogenically frozen Uncle.

Hmmm...not picking up
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>438014
Huh, I kind of want to masturbate to my Uncle Lester.
>>
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>>438015
"Gaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" yelled Dan, another of your former crewmen
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>438021

Fine then our awesome radical uncle
>>
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>>438026
Ah yes, forever stuck in the 90s uncle
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>438041
Get these faggot to join my crew
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>438041
How many uncles do we have and why do they all look the same?
>>
>>438063
The king is a powerful man
>>
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>>438059
"Woah dudes. You should totally re-join my nephew, it'd be totes radical, maaaana. Now check out this sweet backflip"

"Well okay"

And so they all rejoined you, except for Steve, who was not present at the moment so you'll ahve to convince him later.

>>438063
A really long family line of mustachio'd men that dates back to ancient times. Your ancestors were very powerful. And virile.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>438085
Now grow a fuller mustache like your uncle to solidify the old crew's loyalty.
Grow it out of sheer spite of steve!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>438085
Grow a mustache thats better than all your uncles
>>
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>>438091
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>438108
Have a colored stripe to make you look wiser
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>438108
Shave your mustache and make it a Hitler mustache.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>438108
Even Better, it has to put every mans mustache in the world to shame.
>>
>>438118
Aw you dick
>>
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>>438118
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>438126
Now grow your mustache both left and right sides but a gap between the Hitler Stache to make it the "the winged hitler"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>438126
Grow a full beard in the shape of a tiger throwing grenades.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>438126
Live in your mother's basement and draw on 4chan
>>
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>>438133
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>438147
Browse 4chan
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>438147
Explain to crew that you have backing of the cultist, and we get to do what ever we want
>>
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>>438153
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>438165
Call them a faggot
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>438165
End up "accidentally" watching gay porn
>>
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>>438171
hmmm
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>438178
Mom walks in
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>438178
Don't do it!
One of the orcs saves you from homoness
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>438178
Don't you fucking click that.
Actually if we click it would it summon Steve?
>>
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>>438180
Well that's a strange title for a porno
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>438189
>>438184
>>
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>>438197
One of them unplugged your PC
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>438210
Phew thanks lad, almost lost sight of our true goal
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>438210
It was mom
>>
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>>438216
Yes, and that is--

"Oh hey guys, what's going?"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>438225
Punch steve in his fat mouth
>>
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>>438231
"Oh hey faglord. You still owe me money"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>438225
Yell
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>438237
You only get it if you join my crew
>>
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>>438241
"That's what you said the last time to get me to join in the first place, jackass"

#backstory
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>438252
Well I promise this time
>>
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>>438258
"Gonna hafta do better than that"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>438266
Use radical uncle again
>>
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>>438268
And so Steve and Radical Uncle had a conversation, while skateboarding
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>438283
God I hate steve
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>438283
Radical Uncle becomes Jihad Uncle
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>438283
Discuss with our crew who will take Steve's place as first mate assuming he doesn't join back
>>
>>438286
"Yeah, okay" - God
>>
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>>438304
"fuck, forgot pic" - OP
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>438304
Who wants to be new first mate?>>438309
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>438309
Hey god, am I going to heaven?
>>
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>>438311
"Eh....dunno"

"What's da pay like"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>438320
Better than what your getting now
>>
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>>438326
"Oh you mean upgrading from 5 dollars and 1 peanut to...2 peanuts?"

"Yeah that sounds real good. I am toally shaking with how good that sounds"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>438336
Nah, half a peanut. You get the job if you pleasure me.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>438336
Actually 10 dollars and 3 peanuts
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>438336
Yeah totally and you get steve's 5 bucks too
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>438336
How about 5 peanuts and 1 dollar?
>>
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>>438342
"Man this sounds more retarded by the minute, I'm rejoining Steve"

"He actually pays us"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>438351
I'll kill you and Steve if you leave.
>>
>>438344
>>438351
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>438351
Did you know steves a pedophile rapist?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>438351
>>438347
>>
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>>438354
"Nigga you can't even kill a fly"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

Fine, how about 100 dollars a week?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>438368
You wanna go bro! Come at me!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>438368
Rerolling for this>>438369
>>
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>>438371
"okay"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>438402
Wow things were awesome till some asshole ruined it all.
Lets say I pay you more and give you steve's 5 bucks I owe him.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>438402
Little does he know that that was your decoy! Your right behind him about to strike!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>438402
ALL I WANTED WAS YOUR LOVE! I JUST WANTED FRIENDS AND ACCEPTANCE!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>438402
Rerolling for >>438369
>>
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>>438414
"Doesn't seem right to take a nigga's owed money"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>438425
Common you're black, you don't give a shit.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>438425
Turns out the captain talking right now is fake and the real captain walks in with steve.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>438425
Oh shut the fuck up you nigger, just take it like you take welfare checks.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>438425
Cmon, you know he'd rather have his money go to a cherished friend
>>
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>>438430
gasp
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>438444
You get beat up by the fake captain and the crew discusses whether or not to kick one of you out.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>438444
Uh oh, turns out, this is what happened.
Now switch to the real captin
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>438444
Real captain pulls out his legally concealed handgun and shoots fake captain.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>438454
>>438444
>>
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>>438447
[mumbling and discussing]
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>438468
Real captain wins and ties up the fake one.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>438468
The real captain wins, everyone gets raises
>>
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>>438473
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>438486
Where's the bomb?!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>438486
Alright guys, anything he said to you is wrong. Now what were you talking about?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>438486
Fake captain escapes.
>>
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>>438495
The fake captain escaped into the portal to the Barbarian Universe
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>438512
Now everything is back to normal
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>438512
Shave your mustache to make it look like Hitler's, so that the crew will know if it's you or the fake captain once he comes back.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>438512
Has Steve come to a verdict?
>>
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>>438522
OR HAS IT?!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>438534
yeah, it has
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>438534
Damn you op, shoot him out of torpedoe tube 3
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>438534
It has,
>>
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>>438537
GUess it has. The gang's all back together since you blamed all the dumb things you did on your impostor.

And that ends today's session. Thread will continue in a day or two. Probably two.

updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>438553
No shoot op, in the head
>>
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>>438553
>>
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>>438561
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>438576
no with the lasers
>>
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>>438579
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>438584
No bullet lazers
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>438584
well fuck I guess hibernate until OP continues
>>
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>>438586
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>438595
Anon gets shot while the rest hibernate untill next thread.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>438595
Glowing Lazer bullets?
>>
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>>438596
'night
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>438614
poor anon, welp let's eat his corpse
>>
>>437777
oooooooh nice quads
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>438614
Awaken thread through sacrificial summoning
>>
>>445288
RIP
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>445761
Bring back bell bottom jeans
>>
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>>447802
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>450235
Time for soup?
>>
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>>450238
Alright, time to make some soup to get your crew's minds off the crazy stuff that's been happening lately due to your unexplained doppleganger.

Roll 2d100 to make soup
1-29: disaster
30-59: failure
60-89: success
90-100: great success
>>
Rolled 41, 74 = 115 (2d100)

>>450248
Yee best soup
>>
Rolled 9, 55 = 64 (2d100)

>>450248
>>
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>>450252
You amde some tasty soup
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>450263
Have manlet serve it
>>
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>>450273
"Here you go"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>450286
Well how is it?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>450286
you and your crew bond over love of soup
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>450286
Well back to the sub with both crews
>>
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>>450320
It tastes like "oh sure now you reply when I just decided to make a new thread"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>450327
Well then we better wrap this thread up extremely quick.
Abandon dreams of being a submarine captain.
Become a world famous soup chef.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>450327
I'm driving give me a break, no really I need a break I can't stop!
>>
>>450336
Anan takes a break from the wheel, and crash into the new thread

>>450337
>>450337
>>450337



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