>>424150
>We should see if we remember anything about the thing we made for Russia.

>>424150
>I guess I can help. Do we get to pillage villages? And I call dibs on all butter.

>>424150
I will raze Karak Hirn to ASHES if you don't come with me RIGHT NOW YOU BASTARD SWINE!.

>>424150
>>I guess I can help. Do we get to pillage villages? And I call dibs on all butter.

"Oh! Do we get to pillage villages? I love that! I call dibs on all the butter!"

"...I was hoping to just set up a trade agreement for food, not really rob people of their things."

Actions.

>I don't have time for this. Grab him and fly off (Body)
>Oh. I guess that works too.
>Richard, it's not robbery, it's just liberating the lesser species of their belongings... Besides, you like shiny things don't you? (Charisma)
>Get on or I'll just burn down the remnants of the Karak anyways. (Intimidation, HARD)
>Write-In

>>424229
"I wonder if we could magically create food for now..."

>>424229
>>Oh. I guess that works too.

>>424229
>>Oh. I guess that works too.

>>424229
>>Oh. I guess that works too.

>>424229
>Oh. I guess that works too.

Tell him that he now also own the absolute worst part of Bretonia.

>>424265
This.

"Oh. I guess that works too."

"Yeah, so what have you been doing while I was busy anyways?"

"Well, now you also own the absolute worst part of Bretonia, congratulations!"

"Oh... Great. I'm just going to assume it's a gift."

"In a sense it is!"

He gets on your back.

"So, where are we supposed to go?"

"Probably the nearest castle, I mean how far away could one be?"

"Alright..."

You take flight, and can't help but ask a question.

"Have you read the list I left you?"

"Yeah. I have."

Actions.

>So, did you see the part where I ate the king of Sweden for bossing me around? It's a personal highlight.
>Oh, have you seen that part where I ate at least twenty diplomats in a single day? I loved that day.
>You aren't angry at me, right?
>So just wondering... When we get back to Sweden, I have something I was working on for my wife, maybe you'll be interested that it's a dragon mutagen...
>Remain silent and continue flying.
>Write-In

>>424301
>>Remain silent and continue flying.

>>424301
>So, did you see the part where I ate the king of Sweden for bossing me around? It's a personal highlight.

Waiting five more minutes

>>424301
>>You aren't angry at me, right?

"So yeah. Did you see the part where I ate the king of Sweden for bossing me around? It's a personal highlight for me."

"I did, indeed. I wouldn't of done it, but I guess you like ruling things, I suppose."

"Yeah, it's nice bossing people around. Now... You aren't angry at me, right?"

"It's hard to remain angry after a month, but in a sense I still am."

"Why?"

"Well, I'm angry at myself I wasn't there to consul you into the right path, and to probably help you beating the tar out of that king."

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. Your my brother after all. Well, technically my half-brother, but who cares?"

"Yeah, but why exactly would you help me beat up that king?"

"Well, he was exploiting you, and doing that to my little brother isn't something I take lightly."

Actions.

>You don't have to watch out for me, I'm a fucking 32 story dragon.
>Oh, man, I was worried you were pissed off at me.
>Why the hell are you angry at yourself? It would of been really fucking hard to find me.
>Yeah, I'm going to focus on flying now, alright?
>Write-In

>>424410
>>You don't have to watch out for me, I'm a fucking 32 story dragon.
>Oh, man, I was worried you were pissed off at me.

>>424301
>So, did you see the part where I ate the king of Sweden for bossing me around? It's a personal highlight.

Though I also think dropping the mutagen knowledge could be a good idea, butter him up a little.

>>424410
>>Why the hell are you angry at yourself? It would of been really fucking hard to find me.

>>424410
>>You don't have to watch out for me, I'm a fucking 32 story dragon.
>Oh, man, I was worried you were pissed off at me.

>>424410
>>Why the hell are you angry at yourself? It would of been really fucking hard to find me.

"You don't have to watch out for me, I'm a fucking 32 story dragon, no one is going to do shit against me."

"You're my brother, why shouldn't I? It goes both ways, and it wouldn't be just if you just looked out for me."

Actions.

>I suppose that's true.
>I don't look out for you in the first place.
>Who gives a damn about justice?
>Why the hell are you the good guy of the family?
>Write-In

>>424524
>>I suppose that's true.

>>424524
>>I suppose that's true.

>>424524
>>I suppose that's true.

"...I suppose that's true. But oh man, I was worried you were pissed off at me."

"I was at first, but that's over, and I don't blame you for what you've done. Power does corrupt after all, and I'd say you've done a good job of not being too corrupt."

"Too corrupt?"

"Tainted, evil, whatever you want to call it."

"Yeah. Mind if I ask you a question?"

"What is it Renexizious?"

"Why the hell are you angry at yourself? It would of been really fucking hard to find me."

"Because if I don't get angry at myself for failure, failure becomes tolerable, tolerance becomes acceptance, and acceptance becomes weakness, and weakness means failure, which leads to... Well, let's just say bad shit happening."

Actions.

>Why the hell are you so strict on yourself?
>That's a rather... Dominating viewpoint.
>Something tells me you weren't raised with mom either.
>Remain silent and continue flying.
>Write-In

>>424569
>>Something tells me you weren't raised with mom either.

>>424569
>>Something tells me you weren't raised with mom either.

"Something tells me you weren't raised with mom either."

"Yeah, I wasn't."

"Mind if you tell me?"

"...Only if you promise not to tell anyone. It's... Well, I prefer it not being public knowledge."

Actions.

>I promise.
>I promise. (Lie)
>Well, I don't care then.
>When have you ever had friends at my place anyways?
>Who cares who you were?
>Write-In

>>424609
>I promise

>>424609
>>I promise.

>>424609
>>I promise.

"Listen, I promise alright?"

"Thanks. So, back when I was a kid, I was... Well, I was a paladin for Hextor. I don't like talking about it, and many things I've done in his service I'd rather not remember."

"Who the hell is Hextor?"

"Erh, I'll tell you when we get back to Stalkhoml, or... Whatever it's called."

"It's Stockholm."

Actions.

>Why the hell are you so secretive? I've never even heard of who Hextor is.
>What the hell is so bad about being a paladin of Hextor?
>I understand, don't worry about it.
>Write-In

>>424659
>>I understand, don't worry about it.

>>424659
This
>Why the hell are you so secretive? I've never even heard of who Hextor is.
Then this
>What the hell is so bad about being a paladin of Hextor?

>>424659
>>I understand, don't worry about it.

>>424675
This.

Waiting five more minutes.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Press further.
2=Continue on.

"Why the hell are you so secretive, I've never heard who the hell Hextor is."

"It's... Well, basically the church of Hextor teaches that the world is a harsh, unforgiving place. The strong rule the weak, and power is the only reward worth having. Cruelty and mercilessness are necessary tools. Order must be forged from chaos and law from anarchy, but order is meaningless without the will to enforce it. Then we get to the part that tyrants are to be obeyed, and dissenters are to be oppressed or killed, that slaves must obey their masters. That sort of thing, and it's not nice to be in."

"Jesus. That's... Well, what was it like being a paladin of Hextor then?"

"Well, if you enjoy beating peasants up for dissenting, occasional demon summoning rituals, and of course slavery, then it's your choice of church."

"How the hell did someone like you join that church?"

"...We did charity once in a while, and my human parents were devout Hextorians. They pressed for me to join, and they were proud when I did."

Actions.

>Human parents?
>You still talk to them?
>That sounds edgy, even for me.
>How the hell did you stay in that for so long? You're a fucking nice guy. Not some anti-hero or something.
>Oh, slavery? Sounds nice.
>Charity?
>Continue flying and go silent.
>Write-In

>>424787
>>That sounds edgy, even for me.
>>Human parents?

"Damn, that does sound edgy, even for me."

"Edgy? What does that mean?"

"...Erh, sketchy."

"Yeah. You see why I don't really like talking about it?"

"Yeah, I can see why."

"Yeah."

"So, human parents, eh?"

He sighs.

"Yeah. My dad who was one of mom's concubines managed to flee and escape somehow, and... Well, he was a knight of Hextor, and I was his illegitimate son."

"Ah. Did they treat you well?"

"Yeah, the guy was pretty nice for a Hextorian, he actually legitimized me instead of his second son."

"Huh."[

"Yeah, I'm still an offical Paladin of Hextor, but I don't really... Well, I stopped doing that stuff when I was younger."

You continue flying and fly above what seems to be a castle.

"Well, there we go. A castle to negotiate with."

"Alright, let's not terrify them or anything like that, we just need food and hopefully they can spare some."

Actions.

>...Crash straight into the castle courtyard!
>Land not too far away and shapeshift!
>Land directly infront of the castle.
>Write-In

>>424858
>>Land not too far away and shapeshift!
Sigh. No, Richard, having people being afraid of you helps get you things.

>>424858
>Land not too far away and shapeshift!

>>424858
>Land not too far away and shapeshift!

You sigh... Clearly Richard doesn't understand the whole concept of tribute.

"Richard, having people being afraid of you helps you get things."

You land not too far away and shapeshift into your dragonblood form.

"But this time I'll do it for you, alright?"

"Yeah, thanks man... Actually, on second thought just look at who's in our party. We have a naked... Half dragon, a very confused knight, some guy with a bow, a guy with a hat, and your vampire girlfriend. How the fuck don't we look suspicious?"

Actions.

>...The correct answer is that you look too suspicious to be suspicious.
>Clearly he does not understand how to run a hare- You mean, a party.
>That's a part of the fun!
>Wait, are you saying shift into dragon form and land inside the castle, because I think your saying that.
>Write-In

>>424942
>...The correct answer is that you look too suspicious to be suspicious.

>>424942
>...The correct answer is that you look too suspicious to be suspicious

We could also just leave some of the party here, there is little need for them to go in with us.

>>424942
>Wait, are you saying shift into dragon form and land inside the castle, because I think your saying that.

>>424942
>...The correct answer is that you look too suspicious to be suspicious.

"The correct answer is that we're too suspicious to look suspicious."

"...Alright, I'm just going to follow your logic, now let's start going up to that castle, eh?"

Your party treks uphill, while Marshal starts telling everyone stories of some dire badger he shot in the eye when he was a child. The knight laughs him off, and Frankizka shakes her head, claiming that "dire badgers aren't a thing." Meanwhile, the tapestry maker has decided to talk to Marshal, and Marshal can't help but be blunt about her... Exposed parts. He gets hit in the face but she apologizes and carries him, while the Knight can't help but claim that "hitting random people could kill them with your strength." Of course, she claims that she carefully weighs her mass-to-muscle ratio or some shit, and the Knight just nods his head.

This is the best adventure party ever.

You come up to the castle and a guard looks over.

"Who goes there?"

Actions.

>...Let the naked tapestry maker do the introductions.
>Let Marshal do the introductions.
>Let Richard do the introductions.
>You'll do the introductions.
>Let the knight do the introductions.
>Frankizka can do it.
>Shapeshift into a dragon and demand to be let in. (Intimidation)
>Write-in

>>424998
>Let Richard do the introductions.

Let's try diplomacy. We can burn and raze our way in later

>>424998
>Let Richard do the introductions.
Let's give our bro a chance to shine.

'Richard, introduce us!"

"Hail! I am sir Richard of... Reikhall? This is my brother, sir Renexizious the Dragonknight, and behind us is a mighty adventuring party!"

"Oi! You all look like freaks!"

"...Nevertheless, we are an adventuring party here on behalf of Karak Hirn for a trade agreement."

You hear muttering on the otherside.

"Fine! But if you try anything fishy, we'll gut ya!"

"Works for me."

The gate opens slowly.

"Good job Richard."

"Yeah, thank the gods he didn't press further on who most of these people are, since I barely know any of them."

You walk into the castle and a man, wearing spectacles and being slightly overweight comes up to you.

"Ah! I see you are here to negotiate a trade agreement with me!"

"Yes, yes we are."

"Good, good. Now come inside."

You follow him inside, and note that the "Castle" is more or less a motte and bailey.

"So, let's get down to business, what do you need?"

"Food."

"Oh, that's it? Very well. We want some dwarven ironcrafts, engineers for a few days, and hopefully some minerals in exchange."

Actions.

>That's outrageous just for some food!
>Do you know who I am? I have over 3000 confirmed kills... (Intimidation)
>Marshal, do your boasting again!
>Quickly, knight, act confused so you'll confuse him!
>Quickly, naked tapestryworker, distract him!
>Richard, do... Something reasonable!
>Adelmann, quickly accuse him of heresy if he doesn't agree!
>Frankizka, dominate him!
>Write-In

>>425100
>>That's outrageous just for some food!
>>Richard, do... Something reasonable!

"That's outrageous just for some food!"

"Well, we need our food as well, and we have a notable lack of engineers around here."

You whisper to Richard.

"Quickly, do something!"

Roll me a 1d20+1 to see if he can lower the price of the agreement.

Rolled 7 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>425243

Rolled 10 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>425243

Rolled 2 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>425243
And this is where being big and scary pays off. Just ask Commodore Perry.

10+1=11

Great Failure!

"Why don't we negotiate some more? You need something, I need something... We all win."

"Maybe, but my prices are set, sir."

Actions.

>...Come on, just lower the prices so I don't have to stomp all over your little castle, I'd rather not get splinters. (Intimidation, VERY HARD)
>...Hey, I'm going to be outside for a few minutes, alright?
>Marshal, start boasting or something.
>Knight, confuse him so we can bargain better!
>Erh, naked tapestry worker, do something smart?
>Richard, keep being reasonable! (HARD)
>Frankizka, just dominate him or something.
>Adelmann, accuse him of heresy or something!
>Write-In

>>425315
>Frankizka, just dominate him or something.
You know what? Easy mode.

"Frankizka, dominate him."

"In full view of literally everyone?"

"Sure!"

"Ren, find a way to distract people for a few minutes and then we'll talk, alright?"

Actions.

>Nevermind then...
>Sure, I'll find a way to distract them...
>So? Just do it.

>>425358
>Sure, I'll find a way to distract them...

>>425358
>Sure, I'll find a way to distract them...

Drowsyness pheromone

>>425358
>>Sure, I'll find a way to distract them...
We're good at catching people's attention.

"Sure, I'll find a way to distract everyone."

"Good."

Actions.

>...Shapeshift in front of everyone? Not to dragn size, just half-dragon.
>...Go outside and shapeshift into a dragon.
>Fuck it, just punch a guard or something. (Body)
>Maybe Lust pheromone could cut it.
>Use a pheromone.
>...Erh, summon your familiar to assist!
>Magic show? Magic show.
>Write-in

>>425389
>>...Shapeshift in front of everyone? Not to dragon size, just half-dragon.
Sorry, did that startle you? I tend to do this when I find people are trying to rip me off.

>>425389
>Write-in
Challenge them to a duel for insulting us with their offer.

Waiting ten more minutes anons.

>>425400
+1

>>425389
>>Magic show? Magic show.

You decide to shapeshift into a half dragon...

Roll me a 1d20+8 to see if this gets attention.

Rolled 5 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>425489
We're a motherfucking dragon, they better pay attention or we'll have to escalate further.

Rolled 7 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>425489

Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>425489

>>425504
>>425510
>>425526
People turning into Half-dragons must be a common sight in these parts or something.

7+8=15

Failure!

You shapeshift into a half dragon in full view, but it seems no one pays attention.

"What the hell? Why does no one care that I just became bigger, scalier, and grew a tail?"

"Huh? Oh, you guys are adventurers. We're used to that sort of thing by now when it comes to murderhobos."

You growl.

Actions.

>Escalate further.
>Escalate further outside.
>...Whelp, you aren't at your full size yet, slowly get bigger and imposing, maybe that will work. Or maybe you might just thwack someone with your tail or something.
>Pheromones, go!
>Write-In

>>425553
>Pheromones, go!
Light Fear

Whelp, roll me a 1d20+2 to see if the pheromones do anything.

Rolled 16 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>425600

16+2=18

Good Success!

You release a slight amount of fear pheromone.

"...Well, I suppose I can lower the price just a little. Maybe just some minerals and ironcrafts?"

"That's better..."]

Actions.

>But that's still not good enough. (Intimidation, HARD)
>I agree.
>...How about instead of a trade agreement, how about you give my brother tribute, and I won't step all over your damned castle? (Intimidation, HARD)
>Write-In

Rolled 5 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>425600

>>425628
>>I agree.

>>425628
>Write-In
Try to clarify exactly how much food we are getting from this deal. We need enough to feed all the dwarves.

>>425650
+1

"We need at least... Well, at least four caravans to feed the dwarves, you do know this, right?"

"I guessed that, yes."

Frankizka whispers to you.

"Still want me to dominate him? Everyone's staring at you now."

Actions.

>Sure!
>Nah, we're good now.
>Hang on, they aren't fully distracted.
>Write-In

>>425670
Sure, we need to secure the deal absolutely. As soon as we will be gone, they will change their mind.

>>425670
>Sure!

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if she can dominate!

Rolled 15 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>425682

>>425670
>>Nah, we're good now.

Rolled 7 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>425682

"Do it."

You see her stare into the lord's eyes, and they turn red, then back to normal.

"Did it work?"

"Yeah it did. Watch."

"You know, I have a fondness for dwarves... Why don't I give you the food for free?"

Richard scratches his head.

"But... I thought you wanted something in return?"

"No no, I insist."

"Erh... Alright, I suppose."

Actions.

>...Tune it down a little, Frankizka.
>Sweet, see if he can't give you some butter and money at the same time!
>Frankizka, make him say he's willing to be our vassal!
>...Frankizka, good job..
>Headpat Frankizka, she did a good job.
>Write-In

>>425700
>>Headpat Frankizka, she did a good job.

>>425700
>>Headpat Frankizka, she did a good job.
Didn't think her the type but alright.

>>425700
>Headpat Frankizka, she did a good job.

>>425700
>>Headpat Frankizka, she did a good job.

You pat her on the head.

"Good job."

"Oh, erh... Thanks, I guess."

"Well, thank you sir for your kindness, let's get to signing it, shall we?"

"Very well."

A few minutes later, the "Trade Agreement" is complete, and Richard turns back to you as you leave the fortress.

"See, I make a decent diplomat."

Actions.

>You sure did.
>Remain silent.
>Actually, you should thank Frankizka, she saved your ass.
>Actually, that would be me.
>Write-In

>>425740
>You sure did.
Pat his head too so he doesn't feel left out.

>>425740
>You sure did.

"You sure did."

You pat him on his head, and he just shrugs his shoulders, somewhat confused.

"Thanks? I guess?"

"No problem, little brother."

"I'm your big brother, technically."

"Well, height wise I'm your big brother, so get on my back and let's liberate us a Damned Duchy!"

You transform, and fly off with everyone back to Mousllion...

What exactly is your plan?

Actions.

>Go to that fucking Ducal Palace or whatever, that was made by FUCKING ELVES.
>Probably should deal with the Carrion Hills, or whatever.
>Sewer monsters, prepare to be smoked out!
>Actually, you should find a laboratory or somewhere safe to practice a cleansing mutagen... Or you know, you could just turn the entire populace into half dragons. Who's going to call you out on it anyways?
>Write-In

>>425774
>Actually, you should find a laboratory or somewhere safe to practice a cleansing mutagen... Or you know, you could just turn the entire populace into half dragons. Who's going to call you out on it anyways?

>>425774
>>Actually, you should find a laboratory or somewhere safe to practice a cleansing mutagen... Or you know, you could just turn the entire populace into half dragons. Who's going to call you out on it anyways?

But look for an actual cure first.

You search overhead for a laboratory you could use... You see a few things that might work out.

>There's some sort of small peasant village right by the swamp. It might not be ideal conditions, but you'll have plenty of workers... Wiling or not to assist.
>The nobles tower you stayed in is secluded, but has great working conditions.
>The city might have a alchemy shop which will prove for highly ideal conditions, but you might attract suspicion from the superstitious peasantry, not to mention there might be previous owners you'll have to take care of.

>>425810
>>The city might have a alchemy shop which will prove for highly ideal conditions, but you might attract suspicion from the superstitious peasantry, not to mention there might be previous owners you'll have to take care of.

Bribe them, we have half a million worth of gold.

>>425810
>The city might have a alchemy shop which will prove for highly ideal conditions, but you might attract suspicion from the superstitious peasantry, not to mention there might be previous owners you'll have to take care of.

You fly outside of the city's swamp, and shift down. As you go through the city's abysmal conditions, you see a man in rags dragged out of a crumbling house by an angry mob and is tied to a nearby post by the mob, and is mauled upon by the crowd.

Actions.

>Approach the crowd and demand to know what this man did.
>...Just continue on, you have bigger things to worry about.
>Join in, if he's being beaten by a mob he's probably done something wrong.
>Breathe fire into the air to cause the crowd to scatter!
>Pheromones?
>Write-In

>>425844
>Approach the crowd and demand to know what this man did.

"You, there, citizen, what did this man do?"

"He summoned Creeping Things last night! I saw em', I did! With me own two eyes! He did it with his evil thoughts, I swear!"

Richard comes up behind you.

"We should help, or are you already on it?"

Actions.

>Demand the peasants to leave this man alone. (Intimidation)
>...Clearly your intellect can assure the populace to leave this man alone. (Intelligence)
>Very well, have a good go at it!
>Pheromones?
>I would say YOU are the one that summoned them, why else would you accuse another man of summoning creeping things? (Wisdom)
>Write-In

>>425877
>...Clearly your intellect can assure the populace to leave this man alone. (Intelligence)
Say big words until they go away

Roll me a 1d20+6!

Rolled 4 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>425896

Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>425896

18+6=24

Good Success!

"I believe that you've failed to properly consider that a simple optical illusion on your eyes might of played a key role in causing you to believe this man is indeed a witch or whatnot. I highly recommend consuming battery acid, or if that is not available to you at the current time, a healthy dose of bleach may cure you."

"...What are you saying?"

"That I am a doctor without a PhD, and your eyes are terrible, in fact they look more reptilian then a normal human eye."

"Oi! Your eyes are reptillian, stop projecting on me!"

"I'm sorry to say, but your major affliction is insanity. Guards! This man is insane and is accusing me of being a lizard person, when I am in fact trained medical personnel!"

"Oi! Leave the doctor alone!"

The grab the man and haul him off, while the mob chases after him!

"I knew the lizard people were behind it all! I knew!" he yells into the distance as he is dragged away.

"...Well, that's one way to handle an angry mob. Sic it on someone else."

"He'll be fine."

The brutalized man gets to his feet, and thanks you. He hands you a piece of... Moldy bread, and a gold coin he found.

Actions.

>Thank you, I suppose.
>...Erh, do you have anything more... Shiny?
>You can keep it, I don't need moldy bread. Or a single gold coin.
>Take the gold coin but tell the man to keep the bread.
>Write-In

>>425935
>Take the gold coin but tell the man to keep the bread.
We're much more a meat and butter dragon.

>>425935
>You can keep it, I don't need moldy bread. Or a single gold coin.

>>425935
>>Take the gold coin but tell the man to keep the bread.

>>425935
>Write-in
Take the man.

"Erh, thank you. Keep the bread though."

He hands you the gold coin and you continue searching for an alchemy store, and you eventually come to the Chapel District. The knight halts you.

"Excuse me, dragon, but would you care if I went into the chapel district to fulfill my knightly oath of prayer to the Lady?"

Actions.

>Come on, we've nearly found an alchemy shop.
>Sure, I suppose.
>Could I come as well? I'm somewhat interested in this chapel.
>Would you mind if the party came with you? I think we could use some time away from the flies, sewage, and other nasties out here.
>Write-In

>>425963
>>Sure, I suppose.

"Sure, I suppose. Just don't get lost or anything."

"Very well."

He goes inside the large and compared to the rest of the city, well-kept chapel. Meanwhile, outside some sort of street preacher, female as well, is offering prayers and blessings... For only a sum of fifty gold. And if you want to drink from the grail... It's only two-hundred gold coins.

Actions.

>Marshal's Bretonnian, right? Maybe he can tell you what that's all about.
>Eh, ask Frankizka.
>No, just continue waiting for the Knight.
>Ditch the knight and continue on.
>...Prayers for only a few gold? Without any actual work? Look out, here comes Renexizious!
>Write-In

>>426013
>Marshal's Bretonnian, right? Maybe he can tell you what that's all about.

>>426013
>>Marshal's Bretonnian, right? Maybe he can tell you what that's all about.

"Hey, Marshal, what's that all about?"

"What?"

"That girl, she's selling prayers."

"...Hang on a minute, you don't need to pay money to pray. Not to mention selling the ability to drink from a Grail? That's downright thievery! I bet it's not even real! Not to mention us commoners can't worship the Lady!"

"So she's a heretic?"

"Worse! A con-artist!"

"How is that worse?"

"My dad lost his sheep AND his pig to one of them!"

You see peasants commonly coming up, offering snail shells and other currency to the Damsel. It seems that some of the peasants who pay get dragged away by a militia, seemingly guarding a well, and cries of "I can't pay enough!" follow... Highly suspicious.

Actions.

>Con-Artist, eh? Maybe you can get in on this... You could always go for some more money.
>Hey, Marshal. Give her a piece of your mind or something.
>...Something tells you that those peasant's aren't just paying for prayers. Go stop her and her gang.
>You don't want any trouble. Just wait for the knight to get back.
>Write-In

>>426044
>Hey, Marshal. Give her a piece of your mind or something.

>>426044
>Hey, Marshal. Give her a piece of your mind or something.

"Marshal, give them a piece of your mind or something."

"Ha! They will rue the day they insulted the Lady!"

He draws his longbow, and aims it towards the guard extorting the peasant.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if he can William Tell the shit out of this.

Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>426070

>>426072
William Told.

>>426072
Marshal can apparently only get twenties when he shoots his longbow.

20+4=24

Critical Success!

He fires a shot and scores a headshot straight on one of the guards, knocking them down. He quickly fires again, shooting one in the neck, and fires a third shot into the final guard, straight in the eye. All of this, in the blink of an eye. He draws another arrow, carefully aims it down, and fires it straight into the Damsel's coin pouch, releasing gold coins into the street. The Damsel cowers and Marshal goes up to her.

Actions.

>Deal with the Damsel with Marshal.
>...Gold coins, in the street? Start stuffing your pockets! Actually, you don't have pockets, so start stuffing your bag!
>Eh, just continue waiting.
>What the fuck Marshal, are you an elf or something?
>...I hate to admit this, but you did good Marshal. You did good.
>Write-in

>>426092
>What the fuck Marshal, are you an elf or something?
>...I hate to admit this, but you did good Marshal. You did good.
Marshal must be the terminator with these skills.

>>426092
>What the fuck Marshal, are you an elf or something?
>...I hate to admit this, but you did good Marshal. You did good.

"What the fuck Marshal, are you an elf or something?"

"No, I don't have pointed ears, why do you say that m'lord?"

"...Longbows are fucking overpowered, but you did good Marshal. You did good."

"Really? Thank you, my lord!"

He turns back and marches up to the Damsel, he begins to threaten her and demand that she go take her "con-artist" skills elsewhere.

Eventually the knight comes out, somewhat angry.

"They're demanding me to pay money to wo-"

"Hey, knight! I've already taken care of it."

"Very good, you'd make a fine squire one day... If you weren't a peasant, sadly enough."

"I am honored, my lord!"

Actions.

>Why the hell not take him on as a squire?
>...Well, I'll make him my squire if you don't want a squire.
>Squire, I demand you impress them next time, as my position is threatened!
>...Head pat Marshal?
>Continue to search for the alchemy shop.
>Write-In

>>426114
>Why the hell not take him on as a squire?

>>426114
>...Well, I'll make him my squire if you don't want a squire.

Waiting ten more minutes.

>>426114
>>Why the hell not take him on as a squire?

"Why the hell not take him on as a squire?"

"He's a peasant, and the Chivalry Oath is very clear that a peasant may only move up if he is indeed knighted by the Lady herself."

"And how often has that happened?"

"...Twice in all of Bretonnian history."

Actions.

>I demand you take him on as your squire, then!
>...Fine, I'll take him on as his squire.
>Eh, I don't particularly care.
>Write-In

>>426180
>...Fine, I'll take him on as his squire.

>>426180
>I demand you take him on as your squire, then!

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Demand.
2=Take him.

"Fine then, I'll take him as my squire then!"

Marshal decides to speak up.

"It's fine, m'lord. I'm not really squire material, really. I'm just a peasant with a bow."

Actions.

>Whether you like it or not, you are my squire from now on.
>Fine then. Remain a peasant, Marshal.
>Come on, you're more then a peasant with a bow. (Charisma)
>Write-In

>>426215
>Come on, you're more then a peasant with a bow. (Charisma)

>>426215
>Come on, you're more then a peasant with a bow. (Charisma)

Roll me a 1d20+7, additional +2 if you can point out why he's more then a peasant with a bow.

Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>426228

Waiting ten more minutes for dice rolls.

Rolled 4 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>426228
You're more than just a peasant with a bow, clearly you have the skill to go beyond your station and honour tempered by your humble origins

Rolled 12 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>426228

>>426228
You're an amazing peasant with a bow, and you have impressed me. And in my lands, that's than enough for you to gain a place at court.

12+9=21

Success!

"Come on, you're more then just a peasant with a bow. You have the skill to go beyond your station and honour tempered by your humble origins. In my lands, that's enough to get you a place at court."

"...I suppose. But I don't even know how to swing a sword, and all I know how to use is a bow."

"Don't worry, I'll teach you."

"Oh, thank you m'lord. I didn't expect to become a squire... I can only wonder what my wife would think."

"She'd be proud, Marshal."

"Thank you once again, my lord, for saving my wife. I am truly indebted to you."

"It's no big deal. Come on then, let's find an alchemy shop."

Your search eventually comes to what seems to be a run-down alchemy shop, boarded up and abandoned. You also note the boards are placed on the outside, and the window above is opened.

Actions.

>...Rip off the boards and enter.
>Hang on, maybe you can lift someone to the second story? There's an open window up there! (Body)
>Hey, Frankizka... Would the tales of vampires being able to turn into bats hold any truth? Oh, and whisper this so no one else hears.
>...See if there's a second entrance.
>Maybe the sewers connect to this building... Maybe you can enter it through there.
>Write-in

>>426282
>...Rip off the boards and enter.

>>426282
>>...Rip off the boards and enter.
Simple enough.

You rip off the boards and enter the room. Inside rats flee, thousands of them. It seems looters have already gotten to this alchemy shop as there is little ingredients here.

You can't help but get the feeling you're being watched, as some of the rats, some the size of small dogs watch you and your party enter.

Actions.

>...Maybe you could talk to Khorne about helping you with this whole mutagen and cleansing the body thing.
>Maybe someone in your party can help you make a mutagen to either transform people or clean them of their mutation and... Well, inbreeding. (Specify Who)
>No, you'll do it solo. You keep your shit under guard.
>...You don't like the looks of this place. Find another place.
>Write-In

Also, what mutagen do you guys want to make?

>Dragonblood Mutagen (Anesthetic Required)
>Half-Dragon Mk 2
>Half Dragon Mk 3
>Half Dragon Shapeshift
>Try to create a Purifier Mutagen.
>...Try to make a Dragonblood mutagen that doesn't require Anasthetics.
>Write-in

>>426305
>No, you'll do it solo. You keep your shit under guard.
>...Try to make a Dragonblood mutagen that doesn't require Anasthetics.
Fear Pheromones! Get those animals to drop dead from fear.

>>426305
>>Try to create a Purifier Mutagen.

>>426312
I feel like whenever you use Fear Pheromones ominous music similar to the Imperial March from Star Wars starts playing in the background. Or is that just me?

>>426305
>No, you'll do it solo. You keep your shit under guard.
>>...Try to make a Dragonblood mutagen that doesn't require Anasthetics.

Roll me a 1d20+6

Rolled 1 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>426321
Come on 20

>>426322
That's not a 20 at all! Bad dice!

Barbaric?

So anons... Use Barbaric?

>Yes.
>No.

File: 1469738029941.png (391 KB, 686x598)

391 KB PNG

Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>426321
Check this 20

>>426327
>Yes!

>>426327
>No

>>426327
Yes

Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>426321

>>426327
Yes

Roll me a 1d20 to save your ass!

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>426337
Khorne guide our dice

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>426337
>inb4 it's a one

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>426337

Rolled 18 (1d20)

14

Border Check!

Roll me a 1d20, and counter my 1d20!

>>426344
Someone else roll, the dice isn't favouring me right now.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>426344
For our dragonic overlords!

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>426344

>>426354
H-h-hehe...

Im sorry guys

>>426354
Oh shit, a double crit fail.

Have you guys been making your sacrifices to Khorne and the Dice Gods recently?

Double Critical Failure!

You begin mixing with one of your claws in half-dragon form... And hear it fizzing?

Fizzing isn't what something like this mutagen should do. It should be bubbling... Suddenly, one of the bubbles explodes violently, and you accidentally spill it into the gunpowder barrel you were using as a regent.

...Oh fucking shit.

You realize you only have a few seconds to do something, before the barrel explodes.

Actions.

>...Run away yelling at the top of your lungs! Maybe everyone will get the idea to get the fuck out.
>Khorne, are you there Khorne?
>Grab the barrel and try to throw it outside! (Agility, HARD)
>Oh fuck, throw yourself onto the gunpowder, maybe you can take the explosion! (Body, VERY HARD)
>Well, you can in theory digest anything. Can you eat and digest a barrel full of gunpowder? (Body, HARD, Very Fucking Risky.)
>Write-In

>>426365
>Grab the barrel and try to throw it outside! (Agility, HARD)

>>426365
>ICE BREATH

>>426369
You do know we have a -4 for Agility right?

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Grab it and toss!
2=FREEZE IT!

>>426375
No... besides, who has the time to actually look at and remember character sheets anyways.

Roll me a 1d20+15 to freeze it!

Rolled 19 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>426381

Rolled 7 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>426380
Rens character sheet is more of a small book than an actual sheet so I'll give you that.
>>426381

>>426387
It fucking is, and it is hell on earth to go through.

19+15

Overwhelming Success!

You freeze the barrel solid, and carefully remove it from the premise. It explodes not too long afterwards, and you continue working.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to continue research!

Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>426391

Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>426391

Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>426391

16+5=21

Good Success!

You make a fairly effective Dragonblood mutagen...

Bonus: Strong (Obvious in the title!)
Defect: Independent (Dislikes being led, and infectees generally like doing their own thing.)

Actions.

>Refine it further! (Alchemy)
>No, no. It's fine.
>...Maybe someone in your party might want some of this mutagen?
>Write-in

>>426415
>Refine it further! (Alchemy)

>>426415
>No, no. It's fine.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Refine.
2=Leave it be.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to refine further!

Rolled 12 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>426429

Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>426429

12+5=16

Borderline Success!

Bonuses: Strong, Sea-Loving (Tends to fair better at sea.)
Defects: Independent, Slow (Tend to move slower and have lowered agility)

After you've finished with the mutagen, the naked half dragon, Berenice comes in.

"What is it? I'm very busy!"

"...Well, erh... Everyone's preparing to make dinner."

"What are we eating?"

"...Rats, and some of the well water."

Actions.

>...Well, my wife forced me to learn how to cook... I can cook tonight. (Cooking)
>Please! I'd rather sack a town and eat it's inbred populace then eat a rat!
>...Erh... We don't have anything else to eat?
>Leave me be! I am very busy!
>Write-In

>>426437
>>...Well, my wife forced me to learn how to cook... I can cook tonight. (Cooking)
Have you seen Chef by Jon Favreau?

>>426437
>...Well, my wife forced me to learn how to cook... I can cook tonight. (Cooking)

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can cook rat.

Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>426444
The Jews did this.

Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>426444

Rolled 7 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>426444

19+4=23

Success!

You successfully cook rat into something... Edible. You find it somewhat degrading, but consume the rat. As you look outside, it's night time, and well... You need a place to sleep.

Actions.

>...You don't fucking trust this place with it's rats and shit. Find a different place for the night.
>This... Will work, begrudgingly enough.
>...You must find a way to make this barren shop comfy...
>Write-in

>>426450
>Summon Smaug so he can kill the rats while you sleep.

>>426450
>...You must find a way to make this barren shop comfy...

Maybe we can pulverize the floor into smooth and comfy pebbles?

You summon Smaug, and order him to kill the rats while you sleep. He finds this somewhat degrading, but does it anyways. Meanwhile, you decide to make the floor a little less... Rough.

Roll me a 1d20+15 for interior home punching design.

Rolled 6 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>426455

Rolled 11 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>426455

Rolled 2 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>426455

11+15=26

Borderline Success!

You make some of the more... Pointed pebbles a little more comfortable, and you find a small room, which seems to be... Well, a storage room. It's rather small though, and you decide to sleep in there tonight...

Actions.

>But first, maybe talking to some people might be nice. (Specify who to talk to.)
>...Eh, invite Richard to sleepover in your room.
>Get Frankizka to sleep with you.
>...Maybe someone else.
>Write-In

>>426464
>But first, maybe talking to some people might be nice. (Specify who to talk to.)
Adellman

>>426464
>Get Frankizka to sleep with you.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Talk to Adelmann
2=Sleep with Frankizka!

>>426472
aww yiss

You go to sleep with Frankizka, and she rests up next to you, like usual. Of course, she's cuddled up to you for warmth, since your natural frost aura tends to make poorly insulated rooms effectively a freezer.

Actions.

>...Tumbling Time! (Charisma)
>No, you want to talk to her a little.
>...Turn up the frost aura! You fucking love freezers, also she's undead, she'll be fine.
>...Maybe you should get her a blanket or something.
>Just go to sleep.

>>426478
>...Tumbling Time! (Charisma)

Because why not.

Goddamn, aren't you determined to get laid every night?

Roll me a 1d20+7

Rolled 10 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>426488

Rolled 3 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>426488

Rolled 9 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>426488

Rolled 11 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>426488

>>426478
>...Maybe you should get her a blanket or something.
Beta mode engaged.

10+7=17

Borderline Failure!

"Hey, Frankizka, want to tumble again?"

"...I'm exhausted, not really."

"Why?!"

"Mostly still terrified of flying on your back, that high up in the sky."

She clutches closely to you.

Actions.

>...What, do you have a fear of heights or something?
>...Oh, come on. I'd never drop you.
>Well, we'll do it tonight or I'll invite that tapestry worker from earlier, damn it! (Intimidation)
>...Oh, alright then... Drift into sleep.
>Fine, I guess. Want to talk then?
>Lust pheromone... Even if it might accidentally leak out into another room.
>Write-In

>>426501
>...Oh, alright then... Drift into sleep.

Waiting five more minutes.

>>426501
>...Oh, come on. I'd never drop you.

"Oh come on... I'd never drop you."

You fade into sleep after that, and wake up in the morning, stepping outside to a rather fat Smaug. As in somewhat obese. You unsummon him to avoid any issues and you find yourself with your mutagen... Now, what to do with it...

Actions.

>Pour it down the only clean city well!
>First, ask if anyone wants a dose of this stuff!
>You know, you could just advertise your a doctor and advertise this to people. Even if it might take a very long time.
>No, save it for later.

>>426515
>Pour it down the only clean city well!

You head to the only clean city well... And purposely drop it in. No one seems to notice, luckily enough.

With that done, you have a few more plans to enact.

>...Ducal Palace, more like "Your Palace".
>You should deal with the Carrion Hills.
>...Time for an adventure into the Sewers.
>Eh, shapeshift into dragon form and proclaim this city under your control or something. Might as well make it official.
>You wonder what exactly is on those ships in the harbor.
>Write-in

>>426519
>You should deal with the Carrion Hills.

>>426519
>Eh, shapeshift into dragon form and proclaim Frankizka under your control or something. Might as well make it official by skullfucking her.

>>426522
top kek

Waiting ten more minutes anons.

>>426519
>You should deal with the Carrion Hills.

>>426522
I'm just ignoring this since other anons didn't vote for it.

You decide you should probably deal with the Carrion Hills.

As you head there on foot with your party, you find some undead zombies, but it takes little effort for your band to dispatch them. As you continue on, you see the Carrion Hills, right outside the gate. The stench of rot and decay is unmistakable.

Actions.

>...Transform and burrow to make the hills deeper.
>...You know what? Fuck respecting the dead, why not just attempt to eat the corpses? That will take care of the problem and fill you up.
>...Maybe you should just go.
>So... Anyone got any ideas?
>Write-In

>>426532
>Burn the corpses?

>>426532
>Write-In
Create some supercharged carrion eating insects with alchemy.

>>426532
>Burn the corpses

Attempting to burn corpses... Roll me a 1d20+15 to melt piles of skeletons and corpses.

Rolled 20 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>426544
This is going to smell horrible

Rolled 13 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>426544

Critical Success!

You transform, and Flames is rather eager to set fire to the corpses, which well... It smells terrible. However, it seems this has a universal effect throughout the city, as you notice some of the undead falling over and collapsing... It seems this was a major place for dark power, and you might of just easily taken out the necromantic powers in the land.

You shift back down.

"Well, that was easy. What's next?"

"...How the... Why hasn't anyone thought of that?"

"Probably because it would of smelled bad and probably take a lot of gasoline."

"What's gasoline?"

"Nevermind... Now..."

Actions.

>Take care of the Ducal Palace!
>...Sewer time. Great.
>Proclaim your rulership over the lands.
>...Check out those ships in the harbor.
>Write-In

>>426554
>...Sewer time. Great.

"Now it's time to deal with the sewers."

"So, what's the plan?"

Actions.

>...Well, we don't really *need* a sewer. Just burrow into it and collapse it.
>We'll personally go down there.
>Maybe I can burn them out?
>We'll send Smaug in to scout.
>Write-in

>>426559
>Maybe I can burn them out?

Roll me a 1d20+15 to see if burning them out will be effective.

Rolled 14 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>426563

Rolled 17 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>426563

17+15=29

Success!

You shift into dragon form, and breathe a hearty amount of flames into one of the crypts, and see some smoke come out of some crypts and houses...

"...I would say we got most of it, but I think we should still go down there." Frankizka says to you.

"Into a sewer? Are you mad?" says the Knight, who is quickly countered by Frankizka.

"What, are you a man or a rat?"

"I am a man, but sewers of any sort are guaranteed death traps!"

"Erh... I don't really have my range advantage in the sewers either. I'd prefer not to go down there."

"...I can hit people in the sewers who keep questioning why I don't wear clothes, right?"

Actions.

>...Calm down, we'll all go in together.
>Nope, sewers are fucking suicidal. Besides we probably got most of them.
>...I'll just stay out here, and we'll send groups down there.
>We'll splint into groups and I'll go with them!
>Write-In

>>426572
>...Calm down, we'll all go in together.

>>426572
Make a ton of Dragonblood Mutagen which requires anesthetic and pour it into the sewer. Then breathe some fire into the sewers. I'm sure inhaling alot of the mutagen would work to kill off most things.