>>412933
>>...Can I get the axe instead? You were right, the first one is pretty fucking metal.

Waiting ten more minutes.

>>412933
>>...Can I get the axe instead? On second thought, it was a pretty badass axe. The minispear will not be long enough to play with elves.
(We can always scratch with the blade of the axe to nonlethally cure the plague)
yay EDQ is back! =D
Has Khorne agreed to come for christmas?

>>412933
>>...Can I get the axe instead?

...Fine, it was a pretty cool axe. And it's not long enough to fuck with elves if you know what I'm saying.

I AM ALWAYS RIGHT WHEN IT COMES TO AXETHOLOGY.

Axethology?

YEAH. AXETHOLOGY MOTHERFUCKER, THE STUDY OF AXES.

I don't think that's what it means, but whatever.

ANYWAYS, GO FUCK UP SOME ELVES, CONQUER SOME LANDS, THAT SORT OF THING. OH, AND IF ANY OF NURGLE'S LITTLE SHITS TRY TO STOP YOU, JUST SMASH THEM A FEW TIMES WITH THE AXE, AND TRY NOT TO GET ANY OF IT ON YOU. TAKES FUCKING WEEKS TO GET OFF.

No worries, Khorne. See you around.

Actions.

>...Want to come over for Christmas?
>So... Could you make the axe less obvious for being demonic?
>Thanks Khorne! You're a dragon's best friend!
>So, just wondering... When the hell do I get Khornate symbols in my scales? It'd look cool as fuck.
>Write-In

>>413020
>Thanks Khorne! You're a dragon's best friend!
>So, just wondering... When the hell do I get Khornate symbols in my scales? It'd look cool as fuck.

>>413020
>>...Want to come over for Christmas?
>>So... Could you make the axe less obvious for being demonic? More draconic. Respecting axethology of course.
>>Thanks Khorne! You're a dragon's best friend!

>>413020
>Thanks Khorne! You're a dragon's best friend!

>>413025
Putting symbols of khorne on our scales may infer a subordination, while he is just a super-bro, not our god.

>>413025
seconding

>>413033
scratch this

>>413027
go with this, but it's fine if its a bit demonic

Oh, thanks man... Just wondering, do you want to come over for Christmas?

IT'S KHORNEMAS, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR FAMILY. BESIDES VIKTOR, I'M SUPER FUCKING WEAK IN YOUR DIMENSION, AND I'D PROBABLY TERRIFY EVERYONE THERE.

Actions.

>...Please?
>Come on man, you won't terrify anyone!
>Good point, never mind.
>Wait, super weak? Why?
>Oh well. Now, about this axe...
>Write-In

>>413064
> not if you come as khornesanta.

>>413064
>>...Please?

>>413064
>...Please?

>>413065
>>413073
Fucking this.

Please?

FINE, I GUESS. HOPEFULLY IT'S BETTER THEN SLAANESHI'S KHORNEMAS PARTIES.

...I don't fucking want to know.

LET'S JUST SAY THAT IT'S HIGHLY FUCKING DISTURBING.

Agreed. Now, about this axe... Could you make it more draconic?

WHAT THE FUCK DOES MORE DRACONIC LOOK LIKE? SCALES? CLAWS? FIRE? WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS NOT A SUITABLE GODDAMNED FUCKING DESCRIPTION FOR A MANLY WEAPON OF WAR, LIKE HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS A DRACONIC AXE SUPPOSED TO FUCKING LOOK LIKE? YOU? HOLY SHIT HOW THE FUC-

He starts rambling on about how vague you were and that it kind of pissed him off, then goes back to "how the fuck would you put scales on an axe."

Actions.

>Stop having autism about axes, Khorne. Just make it look dragony, alright?
>Yeah, alright, alright. Don't get your jimmies rustled too bad, Khorne.
>Do you even have an axe, Khorne?
>Why the fuck won't you do scales?
>Yeah... Just hang up.
>Write-In

>>413131
>Yeah, alright, alright. Don't get your jimmies rustled too bad, Khorne.
>Yeah... Just hang up.

>>413131
>Yeah, alright, alright. Don't get your jimmies rustled too bad, Khorne.
>Yeah... Just hang up.

Waiting five more minutes.

>>413142
This.

Yeah, yeah. Don't get too rustled, Khorne.

You hang up by severing your mental connection, and look at your axe. It's fucking shiny, gold, and is heavy, even for you.

You can fucking see your beautiful reflection in it... Hell, you could stare at yourself for hours, but now is not the time!

Actions.

>...Slice the Inquisitor with the axe! In order to heal him! (Body)
>You should name this axe, it's fucking sweet!
>...Just slightly scratch the Inquisitor. (Agility)
>...See how far you can throw it! (Strength){
>Fuck yeah, see if it has any other goodies from Khorne!
>Write-In

>>413179
>...Slice the Inquisitor with the axe! In order to heal him! (Body)

>>413179
>>...Slice the Inquisitor with the axe! In order to heal him! (Body)

Roll me a 1d20+15 for chopping healing.

Rolled 14 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>413213
Activate the chopping axe of healing!

Rolled 7 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>413213
METAL

Rolled 19 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>413213
Best good morning ever

>>413217
19+15=36
Overwhelming Success!

You bring the axe down on his chest, sticking into his lungs. You pull it out while he screams. Gradually the wound fades away.

"There, you should be all healed!"

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT!"

Actions

>KHORNE WILLS IT!
>That will be twenty gold coins, sir!
>Good morning!
>I am a motherfucking dragon, get used to random shit.
>Write-in

>>413275

>KHORNE WILLS IT!

>>413275
"Good morning, i cured you from the Plague! Say thank you to my tool of mercy."

>>413275
>>KHORNE WILLS IT!

You take a deep breath.

"KHORNE WILLS IT!"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!"
The witch hunter is yelling at you, as you put your foot on him, posing like a hero. Meanwhile, Frankizka wakes up.

"KHORNE BESERKERS, WHERE?"

You laugh your ass off.

"You guys nearly thought I was a Khornate, didn't you?"

"YOU FUCKING HIT ME AN AXE!"

"And? You aren't dead."

"I'm just going to fucking sleep."

The witch hunter fails to really fall back asleep. Probably because of your foot on his chest.

Actions.

>So,what exactly is your name?
>Want to join me to conquer the world?
>So, know of any heresy that needs to be taken care of?
>Hey, look at my axe? Pretty cool, eh?
>Write-In

>>413313
>Want to join me to conquer the world?

>>413313
>"So, what exactly is your name?"

>>413313
>>So,what exactly is your name?

"So what exactly is your name?"

He sighs.

"It's Adelmann Kabalinger, servant of Sigmar."

"Ah."

"Could you move your foot?"

Actions.

>Na. It's cold, and I like it where it is.
>Sure.

Also.

>So, want to help me conquer the world?
>Could you point us in the direction of a nearby city?
>Where's the nearest disgruntled peasantry area?
>So, can I help you purge heresy?
>Write-In

>>413351
>>Sure.
>So, want to help me conquer the world?

>>413351
>>Sure.
>So, want to help me conquer the world?

"Oh. Sure."

You move your foot off his chest.

"So, want to help me conquer the world?"

He nearly laughs.

"Wait, your serious? You're asking me, a witch hunter, to help you conquer the world?"

"Yep."

"Yeah, no. That's absolutely impossible."

"I highly doubt it."

"Yeah, good luck. What makes you think I'd serve you rather then Emperor Karl Franz?"

Actions.

>...Karl Franz is a fucking hack!
>Well, probably because I'm right in front of you and hungry. (Intimidation)
>Well, my brother Richard really is the one to ask. I'm just doing the conquering part because it's fun!
>Write-in

>>413383
>...Karl Franz is a fucking hack!

>>413383
>>Well, my brother Richard really is the one to ask. I'm just doing the conquering part because it's fun!

>>413383
>>Well, my brother Richard really is the one to ask. I'm just doing the conquering part because it's fun!

"Well, my brother Richard really is the one to ask. I'm just doing the conquering part because it's fun!"

"No reasoning besides see your brother? Where is he?"

"Eh, the ruins of a Dwarf Karak."

"...Karak Hirn?"

"Yep. I even squished the King there."

He sighs.

"...So, what our saying is that I serve or I basically get eaten?"

Actions.

>Nope, it's a little more complex then that. You serve and I reward you! (Charisma)
>Yep. (Intimidation)
>You do owe me your life. I did just save you from Nurgle's Pox.
>Sort of. I need someone who can fight against Chaos, and so far you seem to fit the bill.
>Unleash a pheromone.
>Write-in

>>413408
>>Nope, it's a little more complex then that. You serve and I reward you! (Charisma)

>>413408
>>You do owe me your life. I did just save you from Nurgle's Pox.
>>Plus, I need someone who can fight against Chaos, and so far you seem to fit the bill.
>>Unleash a pheromone. (Loyalty)

Waiting five more minutes.

>>413423
Seconded.

"Well, you do owe me your life. And I need someone who can fight against the taint of Chaos, and you seem to fit the bill."

You unleash your loyalty pheromones.

"...I... I suppose. But, how can I know you aren't aligned with Chaos? You could be trying to corrupt me, as your words sound too honeyed to be true."

Action

>I promise indeed, to bring peace and stability to this land.
>...Maybe you need me to show you.
>Well, I will admit I am a bit of a Khornephiliac, but that's it.
>Well, first off if I was aligned with Chaos I would have killed you or at least not kill that family of Nurglites..
>Write-In

>>413458
>>Well, I will admit I am a bit of a Khornephiliac, but that's it.
More loyalty pheremones.

>I promise indeed, to bring peace and stability to this land.

>>413458
>Well, first off if I was aligned with Chaos I would have killed you or at least not kill that family of Nurglites..

>>413458
>>Well, first off if I was aligned with Chaos I would have killed you or at least not kill that family of Nurglites..
>> moar pheromones

>>413458
>>Well, I will admit I am a bit of a Khornephiliac, but that's it.
>>More Pheromones

More pheromones, roll me a 1d20 anons

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>413486

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>413486

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>413486

14

Borderline Success!

You release more pheromones.

"Well... I'll admit I am a bit of a Khornate, but that's it. Also, if I was aligned with Chaos I would have killed you or at least not kill that family of Nurglites."

You sense the Witch Hunter's anger bubbling up, at the word "I'm a khornate"

"You dare commit most fowl heresy and sentence your soul to an eternity in the Realm of the Damned? Khorne is nothing more then a bloodthirsty barbarian, relishing in the slaughter of families and innocents!"

Actions.

>...Well, I'm a dragon who can easily step on a shack and kill a family. You really want to start questioning my theological beliefs?
>Yeah, I've met Khorne and he doesn't like shit like that.
>Let's not argue on matters of theology, alright?
>Write-In

>>413510
>Yeah, I've met Khorne and he doesn't like shit like that.

"Yeah, listen. Khorne doesn't like shit like that. You can't just fucking slaughter innocents or Khorne gets mightly pissed off at you. What your talking about are the other shitbags, Slaanesh or Tzeentch cultists. Besides, I don't worship him, I just merely respect him."

He seems to slightly calm down, but is still infuriated.

"So? All he wants is barbaric warfare, nothing more then us to kill each other for his entertainment!"

Actions.

>...This Witch Hunter is starting to get on your nerves. Shapeshift, and let him know who's boss.
>I don't really want to talk about this further, witch hunter.
>What, is something wrong with wanting some conflict?
>Write-In

>>413510
>>Yeah, I've met Khorne and he doesn't like shit like that. And i am not his servant, nor his puppy. I serve myself, not Chaos. Crystal clear?
>>gas him with pheromones

>>413545
>> write-in: he is also entertained when people honor oaths. Especially in warfare. But i am not a servant of Chaos, i serve myself, and this answer your first question.
>> transform

>>413545
>>I don't really want to talk about this further, witch hunter.

>>413559

+1

"Didn't I answer your first question? I'm not a servant for Chaos, I just have an inkling of respect."

"...Prehaps that got mixed up then."

"Good. Now, will you serve me?"

"...I suppose, so long as you don't succumb to Chaos."

"Good. Good."

Actions.

>So, where should we start our conquest, Witch Hunter?
>Franziska, where should we begin our conquest?
>...Prehaps we should travel westward.
>Well, maybe southward in the Ork lands.
>We will travel to Bretonnia, I think we are north of it now.
>Write-In

>>413590
>Well, maybe southward in the Ork lands.

>>413590
>>Franziska, where should we begin our conquest?

Waiting five more minutes anons.

>>413590
>>Franziska, where should we begin our conquest?

"Well, Franziska, where should we begin our conquest?"

"Well... I have a personal request, alright?"

Actions.

>Feel free to ask me.
>Yeah, no. I want cold-hard statistics on where to strike first, not personal requests.
>Come on, I'd do anything for you, Frankizka!
>Write-In

>>413629
>Feel free to ask me.

It's gonna be orks/chaos

>>413629
>"Feel free to ask me."

"Feel free to ask, what is it?"

"So, you know Mousillion in Bretonnia?"

"...No, not really?"

"Well, if you could... Well, save it from itself, I'd be grateful."

"Save it from itself?"

"...The Grand Duchy of Mousillion is a terrible, terrible place. It is frowned upon to even speak of it in Bretonnia."

Actions.

>Why is it not spoken of? What happened there?
>...Why do you want me to take care of it?
>Yeah, no. I'd rather do something else.
>Inquisitor, any other ideas?
>Sure, I suppose.
>Write-In

>>413669

>Why is it not spoken of? What happened there?
>...Why do you want me to take care of it?

>>413669

>Why is it not spoken of? What happened there?
>...Why do you want me to take care of it?

>Why is it not spoken of? What happened there?
>...Why do you want me to take care of it?

Probably family or friend related. Right op?

"Why isn't it spoken of? What happened there?"

"Mousillon is the smallest, poorest, and most cursed of all the Duchies of Bretonnia, to the point is considered a separate realm altogether. It's once lush lands turned into bogs, marshes, and swamps... At least that's from what I've read. Not to mention the horrible... Well, it houses the Black Knights... But that is it's lesser crimes. Undead stalk the streets, Skaven live in it's underbelly, the populace twisted to look not even close to human... It is sick, and disgusting."

"...So, why exactly do you want me to take care of then? Sounds like your type of place."

"Please. I want you to clear it out, since... Well, it's a source of shame for me. I was born in Mousillion and I was lucky enough that my family was unmarked and escaped to Bastonne." She seems saddened by remembering this.

Actions.

>...I will, don't worry.
>Who are the Black Knights?
>Why are you sad?
>...You've never really been good at feelings, so try to comfort her?
>So... Just wondering, what social class were you in Bretonnia?
>Yeah, no. Doesn't sound like something I want to do. Why don't we start simple, and I'll get to it eventually?
>Write-In

>>413704
>>Who are the Black Knights?

>>413704

>...I will, don't worry.

Gotta go save her family. But first

>Who are the Black Knights?

Maybe we can convert them to worshiping us

>>413721
Her family already escaped, I think you missed that part.

>>413704
>>...I will, don't worry. For you, and for Sweden, i will clean the duche of Mousillon.

>>By the way, who are the Black Knight?
>>Also... Just wondering, what social class were you in Bretonnia?

>>413723

Whoops, misread it

"So, who are the Black Knights?"

"Well, they're a highly diverse lot. At least half of them are well-meaning and the other half evil and cruel as one can be, but it nearly impossible to recognize them apart from each other, as they all never reveal their visors. Most of them are vampires, mutants, or their wrights, with a minority of humans. Nearly the entire "nobility" of Mousillon practice necromancy if they can." She spits on the ground at the end.

"...So, what social class were you in Bretonnia?"

"Peasants."

"...Peasants?"

"What, was my courtly act and mannerisms good at obstructing my past?"

"Honestly, yes. I didn't expect you would be a peasant."

"Is that a problem?"

Actions.

>Of course not, I pride myself in being meritocratic. Why are you so defensive about it?
>Somewhat.
>Of course it does, I am nobility myself.
>Write-in

>>413747
>Of course not, I pride myself in being meritocratic. Why are you so defensive about it?

>>413747
>>Of course not, I pride myself in being meritocratic and i prefer a valorous of humble birth than a lazy douche of blue blood.
>>I feel you tensed. Why are you so defensive about it?

>>413747

>>413747
>>Of course not, I pride myself in being meritocratic. Why are you so defensive about it?

"Of course not, I pride myself in being meritocratic and I prefer a humble farmworker compared to a blue blood noble fool."

"Thank you, I suppose. I am used to the Bretonnian ways of nobility."

"...What exactly is that?"

"Well, we have a legend about a noble with a pegasi who killed any peasant who dared look at it. Or, if your feeling particularly romantic, we have a story about a female Shepard and a Grail Knight falling in love, only to burned of heresy and breaking the "chivalrous oath."

"...By the saints above, that is rather..."

"Monsieur, it is a fact of life that the peasantry in Bretonnia are treated little more then sub-humans or slaves."

Actions.

>...You didn't actually tell me why you were defensive of it. You just told me of folk stories.
>I'd assume that the Bretonnian nobility are... Well, assholes?
>Why hasn't anyone done anything about this yet?
>...Why don't the peasantry rise up and strike back?
>Write-In

>>413780

>>...You didn't actually tell me why you were defensive of it. You just told me of folk stories.
>>...Why don't the peasantry rise up and strike back?

>>413780
>>...You didn't actually tell me why you were defensive of it. You just told me of folk stories.
>>...Why don't the peasantry rise up and strike back?

"So why don't the peasantry rise up?"

"Easy monsieur, the peasantry are often malnourished, taught this is how the world works, and the Knights have purposely kept firearms and education out of the peasantry's hands."

"Interesting, but first you didn't actually tell me why you were defensive of it. You just told me folk stories."

"...Well, I prefer not really speaking of my past now. I prefer to leave the farm girl from Bretonnia with dreams of knighthood there."

"Why?"

"It reminds me further of my station."

Actions.

>Surely, all knights can't be bad in Bretonnia, right?
>I could always knight you, you know.
>Bretonnia does not seem like a nice place at all. Maybe we should liberate it instead?
>Well, I suppose we should get going then.
>Write-In

>>413817
>I could always knight you, you know.
>Bretonnia does not seem like a nice place at all. Maybe we should liberate it instead?

>>413817
>I could always knight you, you know.
>Bretonnia does not seem like a nice place at all. Maybe we should liberate it instead?

>>413817
>>Bretonnia does not seem like a nice place at all. Maybe we should liberate it instead?
>>Well, I suppose we should get going then.

"I could always knight you, you know."

She gives you a wide smile, and nearly hugs you.
Nearly.

"...Thank you for the gesture, but I would rather work for it. I refuse to accept a title just granted to me since you want to make me your second wife."

Actions.

>Good, that was the first test!
>...Well, I'd rather not have to care later. Knee please.
>I didn't know you had a concept of honor. Huh.
>Write-In

>>413846
>You seem honorable enough.

>>413846
"Good, that was the first test! I, emperor of Sweden, you look forward for your deeds. I will first ask you to be my squire."

Rolled 62 (1d100)

"You seem honorable enough."

"For a Bretonnian, knighthood is much more then a fancy title. It is a lifestyle."

"Well, good! That was the first test! I, Emperor of Sweden, look forward for your deeds. I will first ask you to be my squire!"

"I suppose."

"Well then, with that settled, squire, tell me why we shouldn't just liberate Bretonnia?"

"Well, mostly because we don't have nearly enough manpower to attempt it before getting overwhelmed."

"I am a goddamned 32 story dragon. I dou-"

"Worse case scenario they draft the entire country to throw at you before they surrender. Then we don't really have a country left to rule."

"...Oh."

"Yeah. Such is life in Bretonnia."

Actions.

>Very well, to Mousillon!
>Well, to Bretonnia!
>Hang on, maybe we should go somewhere else.
>What does the Witch Hunter think of this?
>Write-In

>>413846
>>Good, that was the first test!

>>413900
>Very well, to Mousillon!

>>413900
>>Very well, to Mousillon!

>>413900
>"Hey, Adelmann, prepare for travel! We will free Moussillon from its corruption!"

>>413900
>>Very well, to Mousillon!
Wait QM can we call in our worlds army to help us with this pan dimension conquest?

>>413926
It would be nice but we should keep our Swedish army un case of open war with USA...

>>413900
>>Very well, to Mousillon!

"Well then, onto Mousillon!"

You hear Adelmann yell something, confused and stunned.

"That's a death senten- Oh, hang on, nevermind. I forgot your a dragon."

So, question... Will you walk there, or fly there in dragon form?

>Fly there, what could go wrong flying in a country full of knights? Maybe there's even a few cute damsels!
>Nah, walk there. It's probably best to see with your own eyes what the fuck the countryside is like.

>>413926
The portal closed once you guys went into it, not to mention the logistical errors.
And the fact that the Swedish Army is effectively just Redshirts.

>>413940
>>Nah, walk there. It's probably best to see with your own eyes what the fuck the countryside is like.

>>413940
>Nah, walk there. It's probably best to see with your own eyes what the fuck the countryside is like.

>>413940
>>Fly there, what could go wrong flying in a country full of knights? Maybe there's even a few cute damsels!

>>413940
>Nah, walk there. It's probably best to see with your own eyes what the fuck the countryside is like.

Who knows, maybe we will be able to identify the problem without murdering anyone by accident beforehand.

>>413940
>>Nah, walk there. It's probably best to see with your own eyes what the fuck the countryside is like.
>And the fact that the Swedish Army is effectively just Redshirts.
Yeah lets fix that when we get home

>>413940
>>Nah, walk there. It's probably best to see with your own eyes what the fuck the countryside is like.

>And the fact that the Swedish Army is effectively just Redshirts.
=> basically the Swedish army is one 32 story two-headed magical butter dragon and a bunch of half-reptilian lighters-wielding conscripts. And a few fun big tanks. We should develop more the PNJ army.

Your journey takes you over the mountains, and into the duchy which Frankiza says is the "Duchy of Carcassonne, a rather hilly area. As you finally descend from the mountain paths, you take what seems to be a paved road. The occasional merchant caravan passes you by, or the peasant couple. However, the beautiful sunny day start turning into dark storm clouds, rain hits the road, and you realize that you lack shelter from this pouring of rain, dark clouds, and thick fog.

Actions.

>Just continue on the road, you can ignore this, right?
>You see lights in the distance, probably a house or something you can take shelter in. It's better then being out here in the cold.
>Try to find a cave or something to take shelter in.
>...Maybe you can rest under the treetops.
>Write-In

>>413980

>>You see lights in the distance, probably a house or something you can take shelter in. It's better then being out here in the cold.

The best way to visit a country is sleeping by the inhabitant and share stories around local exotic alcohols. Let's be a good tourist!

>>413986
this.

comfy time

You follow the lights, and come across a peasant hovel. You knock on the door and a man in black hair, and a skinny build opens it.

"Who's a- My lord! I am humbled to be in your presence! How can I help you this afternoon?" He seems to suddenly grow nervous and panicked.

"We're looking for shelter from the storm."

"A-ah! Please do come i-in, my abode may be small for a knight, a damsel, and a witch hunter, but it is comfortable nonetheless!"

You go into the hovel, which is well cramped. In the corner is a bed, with a human female sitting in it, coughing, and a small fireplace with a pot over it is in the center of the room. Around is a chair and table, and a shelf containing some bread and wheat.

"I assume you all want warm food, no?"

"Yes, that would be nice after days of walking."

"Yes, monsieur."

"And how about you, Knight?"

Actions.

>No, I'm good.
>...Erh, mind if I ask who's that in the bed?
>Yes please, I'm starving.
>Write-in

>>414036
>>...Erh, mind if I ask who's that in the bed?
Heal her for max comfy

>>414036
>>Yes please, i'm starving.
>>By the way, would you mind if I ask who's that in the bed?

>>414036
>...Erh, mind if I ask who's that in the bed?
Are we in the plate armor we found before going to fantasy land?

>>414045
>diagnose first her illness

>>414053
Yep.

"Would you mind if I ask who's that in the bed?"

"O-Oh, that's my wife, sir Knight. She's fallen ill recently with the Red Pox."

"Red Pox?"

"They say the ratmen caused it to break out again... My wife caught it somehow."

Actions.

>Is there anything I can do to help?
>...I suppose I'm sorry.
>I'll take that food now, I'm starving.
>What's the Red Pox?
>Write-In

>>414066
>>What's the Red Pox?

>>414066
>What's the Red Pox?
Looks like its time to give her the axe

>>414066
>"Tell me about this pox. I am intrigued. And, Adelmann, if you know anything about it, i would be interested to know."

>>414072
Well, its skaven pox, not nurgly pox.

>>414078
Might work, just give her a little cut and see if shes fine.

"What exactly is this Pox?"

"I don't know much sir, only that it came once before and left no survivors. It leaves red splotches on the skin, and within a few weeks they're dead."

"Adelmann, do you know anything about this pox?"

"Where was your wife when she came down with the illness?"

"She was taking the cart down to Castle Brionne to pay our tithe. I saw that when she came back she had the red spots..."

"Hm."

Silence fills the hovel.

Actions.

>Would you mind if I gave her a little cut with my axe? It's for medical reasons.
>...Do you have any food? I'm starving.
>Let's talk about something a little less... Well, saddening.
>Write-In

>>414097
>Would you mind if I gave her a little cut with my axe? It's for medical reasons.

>>414100
This.
Tell him you need a blood sample.

>>414097
>>Would you mind if I gave her a little cut with my axe? It's for medical reasons.

>>414097
>Would you mind if I gave her a little cut with my axe? It's for medical reasons. Knightly medecine.

"Would you mind if I did a little bloodletting on your wife?"

"I suppose, sir Knight."

You go over and take out your axe, carefully scratching her hand. Nothing changes.

"Damn. That didn't work."

Actions.

>You know, just get some food and rest.
>...Damn it, maybe it only works on a full-blown axe hit.
>Apologizes peasant, but I'm afraid she's dying.
>...Maybe Necromantic Healing can help? (Necromancy, HARD)
>Write-In

>>414125
>...Damn it, maybe it only works on a full-blown axe hit.
This has the potential to go very bad but we can just heal her afterwards with healing.

>>414125
>...Maybe Necromantic Healing can help? (Necromancy, HARD)

>>414125
>>...Maybe Necromantic Healing can help? (Necromancy, HARD)

>>414125
>...Maybe Necromantic Healing can help? (Necromancy, HARD)
>"I am goibg to try to save her from the Pox. For that, i will use magic. I do not know about this illness, so i will not assure success. But, i will try my best."

What could go wrong?

Roll me a 1d20+5 for Necromancy!

>>414128
The face of the man
> rainy day
> knight come in
> wife is ill
> knight axe her face
> says its homeopathy

Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>414139

Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>414139

Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>414139

Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>414139

10+5=15

Failure!

You attempt your necromancy spell to heal her, but to no avail. That leaves really only one option.

Actions.

>Give her the axe!
>Nope, that's probably not going to end well. Khorne did say this axe only effected Nurgle's Rot.
>Eh, see if the peasant has any food you can eat.
>Talk with the peasant some more.
>Write-In

>>414156
>Give her the axe!
Eh.. maybe tell the man to wait outside incase this goes wrong.

>>414156
>>Nope, that's probably not going to end well. Khorne did say this axe only effected Nurgle's Rot.
Go harass skaven for a cure

>>414168
> this

>>414168
This.
Failing that, invent antibiotics and vaccines.

>>414165
This.
I think it's a bad idea though, for the record.

>>414175
An another thing to do when we'll go back to Sweden. Modernize our medicine.

"Erh... I have an idea. Everyone execpt the peasant, gather round."

"What is it?"

"Well, we should probably harass the Skaven for a cure..."

Adelmann shakes his head.

"Skaven don't create cures. Where are we even going to find Skaven?"

"Easy. We need to get to Mousillion."

"How? By the time we get there, she'd already be dead."

Actions.

>...We'll fly there and land not too far away from it.
>...Hang on, didn't she say she went to somesort of castle? Maybe we could search around there.
>...We should just walk there. She's probably not going to make it.
>Hang on, maybe we can create a cure... I'll need some mushrooms, stat! (Intelligence, HARD)
>Write-In

>>414199
>Hang on, maybe we can create a cure... I'll need some mushrooms, stat! (Intelligence, HARD)

>>414199
>>Hang on, maybe we can create a cure... I'll need some mushrooms, stat! (Intelligence, HARD)

>>414199
>Hang on, maybe we can create a cure... I'll need some mushrooms, stat! (Intelligence, HARD)

>>414204
>>414207

Roll me a 1d20+6 for Dragon CDC.

Rolled 8 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>414218

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>414218

Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>414218
Scientist Emperor Go

Rolled 6 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>414218

Come on cure fail!

And critical failure.

Use barbaric?

>Yes!
>No!

Rolled 17 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>414218

>>414222
Well shit.

Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>414218
>>414222
KILL ME

>>414231
YES

Yes

Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>414218
Check this 20

>>414231
Yes

Yes it is.

Roll me a 1d20 for not fucking up.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>414243
Dice please

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>414243

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>414243
Pretty please, gimme a twenty.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>414243

Rolled 16 (1d20)

Please god bless dragon-pope Ren

>>414247
...
Should have tested the full axe in the face

>>414247
Rip peasant woman, we hardly knew her

>>414247
The amount of fail is unreal. I regret suggesting antibiotics.

>>414247

I am not around and I must strangle

>>414261
At least you did not propose a massage.

>>414272
It would have been toblerone time.

Double Critical Failures!

As you start mixing around mushrooms, wheat, stale bread, and other ingredients, you create rudimentary antibiotics, and give it to her to drink. She starts choking, and coughs straight in your face. Damn it, disgusting human saliva.

Actions.

>...Fuck it, tell the peasant that you'll bring her to Mousillion, and on your goddamned honor as Sir Renexizious the Dragonknight, that you'll fucking cure her somehow.
>Fuck it, leave her behind and continue on.
>...Well, nothing quite like using an axe to solve a big problem.
>Write-In

Anons, this is unrelated. But I have two ideas

1. Learn necromancy from Nagash

2. Meet the other chaos gods

>>414287
>...Well, nothing quite like using an axe to solve a big problem.

>>414287
>>...Fuck it, tell the peasant that you'll bring her to Mousillion, and on your goddamned honor as Sir Renexizious the Dragonknight, that you'll fucking cure her somehow.

>>414289

And by learn necromancy from Nagash, I mean learn what he knows about necromancy

>>414287
She gave us the Pox.
Burn our face to prevent contamination, we will heal it later.

>>414294
Of shit you're right, we need to purge her fluids in flame to save ourself. Switching to this.

>>414292

>>414287
>>...Fuck it, tell the peasant that you'll bring her to Mousillion, and on your goddamned honor as Sir Renexizious the Dragonknight, that you'll fucking cure her somehow.

"Goddamn it, listen up peasant, I'm taking your wife and I am taking her to Mousillion to find a damned cure, on my honor as Sir Renexizious the Dragonknight."

"O-Oh, thank you sir!"

"No problem, let's head out!"

You leave the hovel behind... You have a thought... Maybe you should get there faster.

>Yes, fly as a dragon to Mousillion!
>No, you'll continue walking.
>Write-In

>>414329
Burn your face!

>>414329
And then go fast, you may be contaminated, do dragon form.

>>414329
>>Yes, fly as a dragon to Mousillion!

You realize that you might of been contaminated, but it's a tad bit too late to really clean your face. You shift into dragon form, making sure not to be a 32 story sign saying "I'm over here!' and instead settle for a mere 12 stories. You fly to Mousillion, and... Well, Frankiza wasn't lying. The city virtually looks destroyed, undead roam one half of the streets, and a few ships, lacking flags lie in a makeshift harbor... You have a few ideas on where to land.

>...Land directly on a large bumpy hilltop in the north.
>...Land in the swamplands.
>Out by the entrance is plenty of open grounds and peasant hovels...

>>414358
>Out by the entrance is plenty of open grounds and peasant hovels...

>>414361
This.

>>414361
This

>>414361
But we are trying to convince out vampire waifu that we are good for peasantry!

>...Land directly on a large bumpy hilltop in the north.

You come crashing down by the entrance to the city, and misshapen humans panic and flee before you, quite a few of them are hunchbacked, or strangely shaped... There is no real resistance to you as you land.

Actions.

>...Shift into half-dragon form.
>Tell the panicking peasants something. Like calm the fuck down.
>...Storm into the city, the gate is large enough if you shrink down by quite a bit... And are willing to squish some peasants.
>Write-In

>>414390
>...Shift into half-dragon form.

>>414390
>>...Shift into half-dragon form.

>>414390
>>Tell the panicking peasants something. Like calm the fuck down.
>...Shift into half-dragon form.

You shift downward, and the peasantry stop fleeing almost instantly. They curiously approach you... One man you swore had his eyes blink independently of each other. Most of them are terrified, and you hear a horse bray behind them, and a knight, dressed in black armor and on huge horse comes up to you.

"Move, you peasantry dogs! I am Sir Alain and I demand you to all move aside on pain of being drawn and quartered!"

The peasants begin moving back from you, alarmed.

"Who are you, dressed in the armor of a Bretonnian Knight, yet able to shift into a dragon?"

Actions.

>Breathe fire all over this pompous douchebag! (Body)
>Introduce yourself as Sir Renexizious the Dragonknight.
>...Nevermind, shapeshift into a dragon again.
>...Challenge this cur to single combat! Even if you've never swung a sword in your life!
>Write-In

>>414445
>>Introduce yourself as Sir Renexizious the Dragonknight.
>...Challenge this cur to single combat! Even if you've never swung a sword in your life!

>>414445
>Introduce yourself as Sir Renexizious the Dragonknight.

"I am Sir Renexizious the Dragonknight, who are you?"

"I am Sir Alain of Daskerwood."

"Hm. And what right do you have bossing around these peasantry?"

"I am a knight to the Black Knight, Mallobaude."

"So?"

"It is my very job, nay, my very right to make sure these peasantry do not swarm Knights of the Grail. Tell me, Sir Renexizious, have you come to join our righteous cause?"

Actions.

>What cause is that?
>...No, I am afraid I am here to kill you.
>Get the fuck out of my way, prettyboy. I'm here to find a cure for the Red Pox.
>...Pheromones?
>I suppose I am.
>Write-In

>>414474
>...No, I am afraid I am here to kill you.

>>414474
>Get the fuck out of my way, prettyboy. I'm here to find a cure for the Red Pox.

>>414474
>>Get the fuck out of my way, prettyboy. I'm here to find a cure for the Red Pox.

"Yeah yeah, get the fuck out of my way, I am here to cure the damned Red Pox."

He nods.

"I wish you luck with that then."

He gallops back into the city, and you look at your party.

"So, listen... I don't really remember this city, but here's some advice. First off, don't drink any water, as most water sources are contaminated by the Red Pox, number two, don't go out at night, and number three, never, ever, stay on the far side of the city past noon."

"Got it. We all stick together, no running off, got it?"

Everyone nods, and you enter the city...

Actions.

>Talk to one of the peasants about where there's possible places to sleep, or locations of interest.
>...You should probably check out the docks.
>...Who is this Mallobaude figure? You should find a noble or something who knows about him.
>...Well, maybe you should collect some ingredients to try to cure yourself and the peasant girl first. (Intelligence, HARD)
>Write-In

>>414496
>...Well, maybe you should collect some ingredients to try to cure yourself and the peasant girl first. (Intelligence, HARD)

>>414496
>...Well, maybe you should collect some ingredients to try to cure yourself and the peasant girl first. (Intelligence, HARD)

Roll me a 1d20+6 for this shit!

>>414496
>>...Well, maybe you should collect some ingredients to try to cure yourself and the peasant girl first. (Intelligence, HARD)

Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>414511

Rolled 11 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>414511
Please no more nat 1s

You begin searching around the city with the group, finding mushrooms, contaminated water, fish, frogs, and... Well, it's not pleasant, but hopefully it works.

18+6=24

Success!

You knew that getting a PHD is for suckers, and as soon as you drink the potion, you feel much better, as your scales feel less... Well, damp. You give the second potion to the peasant girl, which after a hour, causes the red marks to fade away. She eventually wakes up, breathing heavy.

"Where am I?"

"You are in Mousillion."

"W-What? Why am I in such a cursed land?!"

"Hang on. We'll get you home shortly. You just came down ill for a little while..."

Actions.

>...Fly her home as soon as possible. You mostly came here to do that. Then you'll get to the whole "conquer with fire and claw" thing.
>No, you'd rather get it done while your here.
>See if she wants to join you!
>Write-In

>>414539
>>...Fly her home as soon as possible. You mostly came here to do that. Then you'll get to the whole "conquer with fire and claw" thing.

>>414539
>...Fly her home as soon as possible. You mostly came here to do that. Then you'll get to the whole "conquer with fire and claw" thing.

"Come on, I'll get you home safetly."

"But how? We're in the middle of the cit-"

"Madam, he's a dragon, it's fine."

"A... Dragon?"

"Yep. Now, hold on tightly, so you don't get kidnapped or anything."

You exit the city, and within the hour arrive back at the small hamlet... The peasant woman is positively amazed during your flight, and thanks you for "showing her what it's like from above."

Actions.

>...What, no kiss for a hero?
>Shapeshift downward. No need to spook a peasant.
>Meh, just tell the guy to open up. He could hear you from a mile away.
>Write-In

>>414566
>>Meh, just tell the guy to open up. He could hear you from a mile away.

>>414566
>>Meh, just tell the guy to open up. He could hear you from a mile away.

"Hey, open up!"

The peasant man opens up the door to see you in... Well, your dragon form. He freezes up for a few minutes.

"...You alright?"

"D...D...Dragon!"

"Hang on now, I'm friendly. I've also brought back your wife, cured as promised."

"W-What?"

You pluck her off your back and put her on the ground. She rushes to hug him, and he's just left... Well, speechless.

"Yeah, well hav-"

"For saving my wife, I pledge my service to you, noble dragon! I shall serve you with due-fast honor, integrity, and loyalty!"

Well, that was rather sudden.

Actions.

>Well, thanks I guess. But I'm good on servants and slaves.
>...I doubt you want to know where I'm headed, you'll probably get killed or something.
>Welcome aboard!
>I don't even know your name.
>Listen, stay home kid. I don't need a minion or anything.
>Write-in

>>414608
>...I doubt you want to know where I'm headed, you'll probably get killed or something.
>I don't even know your name.

>>414608
>>...I doubt you want to know where I'm headed, you'll probably get killed or something.
>I don't even know your name.

>>414608
>>Well, thanks I guess. But I'm good on servants and slaves.

>>414608
>>...I doubt you want to know where I'm headed, you'll probably get killed or something.
>>I don't even know your name.

"Listen... Uh, I don't know how to break this to you, but you'll probably get killed or something. I don't even know your name, which probably only increases the chance you'll get killed."

"My name is Marshall, huntsman and winemaker!"

"...Don't you have a last name?"

"T-that privilege is exclusive for nobility. But I promise, that I will serve with duty, pride, and honor!"

"Jesus, kid you are going to get maimed by a thousand things, then spit out. Stay home."

Actions.

>...But I guess if you have a deathwish, come aboard. Just don't complain when you realize where the fuck we're going.
>You do realize we're going to Mousillion, right?
>Listen, for my sake stay at home with your wife, alright? (Charisma, HARD)
>I demand you stay home. Or... Else? (Intimidation, HARD)
>Are all fucking Bretonnians like this?
>Write-In

>>414629
>>Listen, for my sake stay at home with your wife, alright? (Charisma, HARD)

>>414629
>You do realize we're going to Mousillion, right?

Roll me a 1d20+7

Rolled 10 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>414649
He probably thinks Mousillion has Muslims therefore remove kebab

Rolled 3 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>414649

Rolled 7 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

rolling

10+7=17

Borderline Failure!

"Listen, for my sake stay at home with your wife, alright?"

"It is my duty as a Carcassonian to serve and assist my friends!"

"Yo do realize we're going to Mousillion, right?"

"And do you think the word of a Carcassonian is so easily broken?"

Actions.

>Come on, you don't even have proper training. All you can do is shoot a fucking bow. A fucking bow.
>...Well, fine. But it's your ass.
>...Fly off, hopefully he'll get that dying isn't a good idea.
>Release a pheromone?
>Write-In

>>414684
>...Well, fine. But it's your ass.

"You know what? Fine. It's your ass."

"Thank you, I will ser-"

"Yeah yeah. Just get on my back new guy."

You start flying once again back to Mousillion... This time however, with a plan...

Actions.

>This time, you will conquer it for the Swedish Empire!
>No, you want to see the city for yourself a little more.
>...You'll investigate the sewerlands, maybe find some villages or something.
>Write-In

>>414684
>>Come on, you don't even have proper training. All you can do is shoot a fucking bow. A fucking bow.

>>414701
>No, you want to see the city for yourself a little more.

>>414701
See the city

You land not too far away from the city, and tell Marshall the basic rules. Mostly "Don't fuck up and get separated."

You enter the city, and from what you can tell there's a few locations of interest...

>The Chapel District, the most "civilized" of the districts.
>The Bridge District, essentially the docks.
>The Shanty Town.
>...You should find a way to cross into the more dangerous section of the city, The Lost Town.
>Maybe you should talk to some peasantry about the local happenings, stuff like that.
>Write-In

>>414736
>Maybe you should talk to some peasantry about the local happenings, stuff like that.

You approach one of the... Well, peasants that doesn't look like he's too inbred.

"Excuse me, sir... But could you answer some questions?"

"W-Who's asking?"

"Erh... Sir Renexizious."

"Well, how can I help then, knight?"

He readjusts his ill-fitting shirt.

>So, what exactly is the Chapel District? Is there a church there, presumably?
>Is there any safe places to actually get water around here?
>So, how does one get to the other side of the city?
>What exactly is that ruined lighthouse by the harbor doing? Why isn't it repaired?
>Heard any rumors?
>So, who exactly runs this city?
>Write-In

>>414783
>So, who exactly runs this city?

>>414783
>>So, who exactly runs this city?

"Who exactly runs this city?"

"No one, save the Black Knight!"

"And who's the Black Knight?"

"Mallobaude!"

"...Right."

Actions.

>So, what exactly is the Chapel District? Is there a church there, presumably?
>Is there any safe places to actually get water around here?
>So, how does one get to the other side of the city?
>What exactly is that ruined lighthouse by the harbor doing? Why isn't it repaired?
>Heard any rumors?
>So, where exactly is he then?
>Who exactly works for him? Or is otherwise affiliated with him?
>Yeah... Well, good bye I suppose.
>Write-In

>>414812
>Who exactly works for him? Or is otherwise affiliated with him?

>>414812
>>414813
Going to sleep. Good luck Anon, do what you think won't get us killed

"So who exactly works for him?"

He goes deathly quiet.

"...Tell no one, but it is a fact that Tedbald the Broken serves him... Tell no one, I demand it!"

"...Who's Tedbald?"

"Tedbald is a robber lord! He steals from everyone, and those who cannot defend themselves are killed or worse! Of course, since his leg wasted away from disease, he got the nickname "The Broken", since he can't really fight good no more, you see what I'm saying?"

"...Yeah?"

"He serves as the Black Knight's contact in the underworld... I know he has a camp by the shoreline, right to the north of the city!"

Actions.

>...Thank you citizen. If I could pay you, I would.
>I assume that's as much as you know?
>Well, looks like you got someone to track down... Best get to it.
>Write-In

>>414830
>Well, looks like you got someone to track down... Best get to it.

"Thank you citizen... I'll be going now."

"N-No problem, knight!"

You quickly backpedel away from the man, and start going to where he said to go... Which you either take the bridge into the bad part of town, or transform and fly across.

Actions.

>Yeah, you'll take the bridge.
>Nope, transform and to them, though do it outside of the city.
>Transform in the city, sure you might crush a few houses, but who cares?

Someone will need to archive last thread soon. It's on page 8.

>>393723

>>414844
>>Nope, transform and to them, though do it outside of the city.

>>414844
>Yeah, you'll take the bridge.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Transform but outside.
2=Take the bridge.

You transform outside the city and fly northward once your party gets back on you. Eventually you spot an encampment, torches, tents, that sort of thing, surrounded by a wooden wall. A few humans walk around it, none of them realizing you are right above them.

Actions.

>Come crashing down into their little encampment! You'll show them who's in charge.
>Land outside it!
>Strafe them with your heads!
>Write-In