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Welcome back to EDQ, where last time found our dad and mum, gave some good tumbles, saved a duchess twice, made Ravendil's Quest references, grew a second head which can breathe fire, and prepared to enslave a village.

Character Sheet & Archives: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/edit

Twitter: @QuestingQM

As you tower over the town who has sent nearly half of their populace as slaves, and are zealously worshipping you, you could put forth some more demands. Flames actually speaks, non-mentally.
"Ren, ask if they have any... , womenfolk we can have. Oh, and butter would be nice."
"Not now Flames."
"Come on, what's the worst that could happen?"

The town is slightly confused by your two-headed argument.

Actions.

>Yeah, hey town, do what the second head asked. Or else.
>Nah, you'll just settle for some butter and fly off. And take the slaves already given to you.
>Enslave the entire town, after all it's probably better living in your world then this one. Also, you do need to commit evil to open that portal.
>...Eh, tell Flames to set the town of fire and fly off.
>Write-In
>>
Enslave.
>>
>>341523
>>Enslave the entire town, after all it's probably better living in your world then this one. Also, you do need to commit evil to open that portal.
>>
>>341523
Enslave
>>
>>341523
>>Enslave the entire town, after all it's probably better living in your world then this one. Also, you do need to commit evil to open that portal.
>>
"Alright, listen up. Your coming with me, whether you like it or not. Also, I demand all on-site relocation of butter to directly in front of me."

The village... Cheers for some reason, and gets you butter, and you nod in approval. You feast on the their butter storage, and put them on your back... Now of course, with that done your back is full of humans of varying sizes and ages.

Actions.

>Whelp, time to go through that portal.
>...Maybe ask Richard or your Dad if they want to come back with you?
>Write-In
>>
>>341523
>Enslave the entire town, after all it's probably better living in your world then this one. Also, you do need to commit evil to open that portal.

We should create some sort of rule about slavery that allows slaves to become full citizens. Maybe a certain time working for the Empire, or have their descendants become full citizens.
>>
>>341567
Ask Richard and dad, and force Rosa to go. We need the magics.
>>
>>341567
>...Maybe ask Richard or your Dad if they want to come back with you?
Also ask mother is she wants to come visit.
>>
>>341567
>>...Maybe ask Richard or your Dad if they want to come back with you?
>>
>>341573
This
>>
>>341594
You're in the Legacy Quest thread too, right?
>>
You fly off to your mother's lair, and tell your 1000 slaves to sort of stay out of sight for a while.

Roll me a 3d20+7 for who's willing to go with you.
>>
Rolled 13, 19, 9 + 7 = 48 (3d20 + 7)

>>341603
>>
>>341607
13+7=20
Success!
19+7=28
Good Success!
9+7=16
Borderline Failure

You first visit your dad, who's busy training with a war axe.

"Hey Dad, I'm headed back to Earth, you want to come with?"

He sighs.

"Very well, let me get my things."

You go to your brother, Richard.

"Hey, Richard. I'm headed back to Earth, you want to come?"

"What's an earth?"

"...Right. I'll show you when we get there, I suppose."

"Alright, I guess."

After that, you gather everyone up, which is easier said then done, and head to Rosa's castle.

"Hey, Rosa! Want to come with?"

She looks out from her private bedroom.

"What is this?"

"Erh... I was hoping you'd be willing to come back to Earth with me."

"I am a noble, not to mention a ruler. I am quite busy."

Actions.

>Fine then, be that way. Fly off and go back to Earth.
>You'll come, or I'll crush your little duchy, alright? (Intimidate.)
>Please? (Charisma)
>Write-In
>>
>>341633
>Fine then, be that way. Fly off and go back to Earth.
>>
>>341633
>>Fine then, be that way. Fly off and go back to Earth.
I dont thinkLizzy would like rosa
>>
>>341633
Please?

We really really want the magics.
>>
Waiting ten more minutes.
>>
>>341633
>Please? (Charisma)
>>
>>341633
>>Please? (Charisma)
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+7 to finish off Operation: Sexy Beast.
>>
Rolled 4 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>341649
Making her panties drop for a third time.
>>
Rolled 11 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>341649
>>
>>341596
I am in all quests basically
>>
Rolled 12 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>341649
>>
>>341674
12+7=19

Success!

"...Please?"

Oh shit man, do that thing that Claw does with the eyes!

You do the puppy eye technique to Rosa, and her heart (figuratively) melts. She quickly hops on your back, and you fly back to the portal, which has opened thanks to your slavery and cult.

Actions.

>Sure, go into the portal!
>No, you want to do something else.
>>
>>341674
God bless our meaty dragon schlong.

We're giving her a tumble in dragon form again.
>>
>>341692
>>Sure, go into the portal!
>>
>>341692
>Sure, go into the portal!
>>
>>341697
Scratch that, it's portal time.

I don't think Rosa would survive another tumble like that anyways.
>>
>>341692
>>Sure, go into the portal!
>>
>>341692
>Sure, go into the portal!
>>
You go through the portal, and end up on the other side. Richard looks amazed.

"How far up in the mountains are we?"

"Honestly, not that far up."

You fly back to Stockholm, where Rosa and Richard look around in amazement, and you leave them to it. You calmly go back to your lair, and fall into blissful sleep.

You awake in the morning, your wife hugging you tightly. You try to get up, but she mutters something.

"...Don't leave me alone like that again."

"I was only gone for a few days."

"...I know."

Actions.

>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.
>No, you have things you want to do, get out of bed.
>Give her a good tumble.
>Write-In
>>
>>341730
>>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.
>>
>>341730
>>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.
>>
>>341730
>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.

We should also talk to the kids. The mature quickly and a few days could mean a lot.
>>
>>341730
Tumble your wife and then hang out with her.
>>
Ending voting in ten more minutes.
>>
>>341730
>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.
>>
>>341730
>>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.
>>
"Eh, sure. What's on your mind?"

"Well, thanks for one, but I was wondering something."

"You can tell me anything, Elizabeth."

"Oh, good..."

She hugs you tightly, and she rests her white draconic head on your chest.

"...Just wondering... Why did you choose me to be your wife? Be honest, alright?"

Actions.

>Well, I thought you were pretty hot. For a human anyways.
>Eh, she had talents you found useful at the time.
>You wanted a claim on her land for your heirs.
>Write-In
>>
>>341776
All of thee above
>>
>>341776
>"You're sweet, beautiful, a good leader, have a nice set of honkers, *under your breath say wanted to get a claim on your land, and I fell in love with you on sight."
>>
>>341776
>>Well, I thought you were pretty hot. For a human anyways.
>>
>>341776
>Eh, she had talents you found useful at the time.
>You wanted a claim on her land for your heirs.
Then end with saying that the primary reason was
>>Well, I thought you were pretty hot. For a human anyways.
>>
>>341789
+1
>>
"Well... You're sweet, beautiful... Hot. Also, it did help that your a good alchemist, and have a claim on England. But mostly because you have rather nice... Tracts of land, which helped me fall in love with you at first sight."

"Thanks, Renexizious." She purrs softly.

She follows up with another question.

"So... Erh, I know your quite ambitious, but I have a more... Personal question."

"What is it?"

"Do you honestly believe in that your God? I mean, I've heard around Stockholm that Catholicism is beginning to refer to you as... Well, God... I'm worried about you, Renexizious."

Actions.

>No, you just do that for increased power over the citizenry.
>...Of course I'm God, what makes you question my divine will?
>No, honestly you worship a different God...
>Write-In
>>
>>341830
>>No, you just do that for increased power over the citizenry.
>>
>>341830
>No, honestly you worship a different God...
>>
>>341830
>>No, you just do that for increased power over the citizenry.
>>
>>341830
>Write-In

"I want to believe there is a god, that he is kind and cares for us but the people need something real. If they want to believe I am god, unless he tells me otherwise, they can continue to do so not that i'll complain about their increased faith in my decisions. Personally I do think there is a god or gods, maybe not of the sort I believe but I don't know and might never know."
>>
>>341830
>>No, you just do that for increased power over the citizenry.
>>
>>341838
>>341840
>>
>>341830
>Write-In
>I don't believe I'm THE God, but I'm starting to think I might be close enough to being A God.
>>
"I want to believe there is a god, that he is kind and cares for us but the people need something real. If they want to believe I am god, unless he tells me otherwise, they can continue to do so not that i'll complain about their increased faith in my decisions. Personally I do think there is a god or gods, maybe not of the sort I believe but I don't know and might never know."

"Ah, so this isn't a power-trip?"

"No, don't worry. It's not."

"Good..." She falls asleep on your arm, and you decide to get some shut eye as well.

It is now midday, and your wife has gotten out of bed. It seems no one has come to get you right now.

Actions.

>Talk to Hans.
>Talk to Claw.
>Talk to Elizabeth.
>Talk to one of your kids.
>You should do a lab experiment, now the question is... With what?
>You know, you haven't gone down to Stockholm recently. In fact, maybe you should tour all your cities to make sure they're working and whatnot?
>Talk to Amaya, your Inquistoress.
>Talk to a cabinet member.
>Perhaps you should change a law about your nation.
>Write-In
>Write-In
>>
>>341869
>Talk to Amaya, your Inquistoress.
>>
>>341869
>>You know, you haven't gone down to Stockholm recently. In fact, maybe you should tour all your cities to make sure they're working and whatnot?
>>
>>341869
>>You should do a lab experiment, now the question is... With what?
It's time for the DRAGON MUTAGEN! Assuming we have the money for it. Else we should try to make one of those Rune Marks that Rosa had.
>>
>>341880
Anon, your only about... $5 million away from actually affording that. So, no.
>>
>>341880
Seconded. For SCIENCE!
>>
>>341869
>>You know, you haven't gone down to Stockholm recently. In fact, maybe you should tour all your cities to make sure they're working and whatnot?
>>
>>341883
Damn. What about Rune Marks, can we try to make one of those?
>>
>>341890
I guess, but without a trained mage it'd be hard to replicate in your dimension.
>>
>>341892
Changing my vote to this then.
>Talk to one of your kids.
>>
>>341883
>>341892
Changing to
>You know, you haven't gone down to Stockholm recently. In fact, maybe you should tour all your cities to make sure they're working and whatnot?
When do we get money next?
>>
You decide to tour your cities... Now, how do you want to do this?

>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.
>You'll fly to each one of your cities, and stomp through it's streets. Sure, you might squish someone or damage infrastructure, but who cares?
>Write-In

>>341902
End of the session, kiddo.
>>
>>341907
>>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.
>>
>>341907
>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.
>>
>>341907
>>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.
>>
>>341907
>>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.
We don't want to have to rebuild Oslo for the third time after all. That would get expensive in the long run.
>>
>>341907
>>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.
>>
You decide to tour your cities in an armed (and armored, in case any elves get any ideas.).

The first stop, is the Capital City of Stockholm, there, your populace cheers at your public appearance, and a few members of the populace are half-dragons. The populace chants your name as you go throughout the city, which is well-kept, almost no sign of litter, waste, or anything like that. It's unique architecture attracts plenty of tourists, who snap photos of you. Eventually, you get to the slums, and after persuading your driver to drive through it anyways, the citizenry down there are just as loyal and devout as those in the more wealthy sections. You even speak to some of them why they are in fact, poor. Quite a few answer that a lack of factorial jobs and other work contributed to this, and you nod and drive off towards the countryside.
The countryside isn't as patriotic as Stockholm, though plenty of farmers and other workers give roman salutes.

Where will your motorcade head to next?

>Drive to Oslo.
>Helenski.
>Copenhagen.
>Take a boat to Iceland.
>>
>>341935
>>Drive to Oslo.
>>
>>341935
>Helenski.

Stockholm>Helsinki>Copenhagen>Olso>Iceland
>>
Waiting five more minutes.

Also, I forgot about Hansodr.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Whelp, rolling.

1= Oslo.
2= Helenski.
>>
You go up to Helsinki, or whatever they call it in Finnish. The countryside gives you plenty of salutes and praises as you go through, but the city of Helsinki is rather... Unpatriotic. As you parade through it, commoners and workers gather to watch, and there is a notable lack of cheering and patriotism, but a few more drunken Finns actively boo you. However, that is the human populace. The non-human populace gives you salutes and cheers, praising you.

Actions.

>...Drive to the White Death's palace and demand he make the populace more loyal.
>Drive to a different city, you've had enough of this... Unloyalty towards you.
>Write-In
>>
>>341986
>Drive to a different city, you've had enough of this... Unloyalty towards you.

They're just Finns. Such a lack of joy should be expected from them.
>>
>>341986
>>Drive to a different city, you've had enough of this... Unloyalty towards you.
>>
>>341986
>>Drive to a different city, you've had enough of this... Unloyalty towards you.
>>
You decide to drive to a different city.

>Moscow.
>Oslo.
>Hansodr.
>Lativan-Estonian Provinces
>Copenhagen
>>
>>342005
>>Hansodr.
>>
>>342005
>>Lativan-Estonian Provinces
>>
>>342005
>>Lativan-Estonian Provinces
Guess we need to spread some of that wealth around instead of always on mutagens.
>>
>>342005
>Lativan-Estonian Provinces
>>
>>342005
>>Lativan-Estonian Provinces
Have we ever been there? And which son did we send to rule them?
>>
>>342005
>>Lativan-Estonian Provinces
>>
You sent Juilius to rule over them.

You drive your motorcade down to Lativa and Estonia. The populace isn't too loyal, but many people thank you for freeing them from the USSR's rule, especially the older populace. The younger populace however, seems to dislike you and call you a "fascist" and whatnot. Its seems they sadly suffer from the USSR's brainwashing, and a notable lack of infrastructure is known throughout Estonia and Lativa.

>Travel to a different state.
>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.
>...Give a speech to the younger generation. (Write-In on what you want the speech to be about.)
>Write-In
>>
>>342036
>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.
Have we done anything to actually piss them off, other than annex them?
>>
>>342036
>>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.
>>
>>342036
>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.

>>342039
We are fascists but nice ones at that, no camps or anything so chances are it is just their education.

It may be the elves again.
>>
>>342036
>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.
It's an excuse to say hi and see how he's doing.
>>
>>342036
>...Give a speech to the younger generation. (Write-In on what you want the speech to be about.)
>>
>>342036
>>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.
>>342047
It's always elves.
>>
You drive up to Juilius's millitary encampment. His governor's housing hasn't been built yet, and you find him inside, reading a book.

"Yes yes, who is it? I am in the middle of trying to figure out the correlation of astrology with pyromania damn it! I demand privacy! Can yo-" He looks up from his book.

"Oh. Sorry about that."

You note that his scales are rather pale, and he seems to... Well. Studious. He is surrounded by countless books, and even his eyes are bloodshot.

"Erh... Have you been outside much?"

"No. Ever since the Paris Expedition I have been studying as much as I can."

"...How did that go?"

"Eh, decently. We had to fight off some undead, I nearly got bit, but Claw saved me, and we even found some ancient Carthaginian corpses and weaponry!"

"That's interesting, I suppose."

Actions.

>Yeah... You should get outside more often. Also, it seems the schooling education around here is rather... Well. Communist. Take care of it.
>Eh, yeah. Just take care of the communist education.
>Write-In
>>
>>342075
>>Yeah... You should get outside more often. Also, it seems the schooling education around here is rather... Well. Communist. Take care of it.
>>
>>342075
>>Yeah... You should get outside more often. Also, it seems the schooling education around here is rather... Well. Communist. Take care of it.
>>
>>342075
>Yeah... You should get outside more often. Also, it seems the schooling education around here is rather... Well. Communist. Take care of it.
>>
>>342075
>>Yeah... You should get outside more often. Also, it seems the schooling education around here is rather... Well. Communist. Take care of it.
Seems they have had some adventures of their own while we were gone.
>>
>>342075
It seems that Emperor-Scientist Julius is more Sccientist than Emperor.
>>
"Well. First off yo need to get outside more."

"Never! I am in the middle of my breakthrough!" He actually hisses, slightly.

"...And you need to deal with some communists."

He sighs.

"Fine. I'll take care of it dad. Now, leave me be. I am much too busy!"

"Alright kid."

You leave, and go back to your motorcade. You can't help but feel slightly concerned for him.

Drive to?
>Moscow.
>Ukraine... For buttery goodness.
>Constantinople.
>Copenhagen.
>Hansodr.
>Iceland.
>Koscovo
>>
>>342095
Moscow would seem like a better spot for Julius. We can always give Latvia to Viktor if he doesn't want it.
>>
>>342098
>Constantinople.
So how's that uh, genocide thing going? Letting bygones be bygones?
>>
>>342098
>Copenhagen.

Where is Hansodr geographically located?
>>
>>342098
>>Ukraine... For buttery goodness.
>>
>>342110
switching to
>Copenhagen
in fear of a tie.
>>
You decide to travel to Copenhagen. Down there, the populace is... Somewhat loyal. Some salutes are given, but otherwise not much signs of loyalty. There is a notable lack of the Dragon Swastika, and not nearly enough banners. It slightly pisses you off. Some members of the populace yell "Swede!" at you as an insult, but those are few and far between.

Actions.

>Talk to the royal family in charge of Stockholm. And see Betrid again, you need them to make the populace more loyal.
>...Continue to a different city. This whole lack of respect is starting to piss you off.
>Write-In
>>
>>342163
>>...Continue to a different city. This whole lack of respect is starting to piss you off.
Whatever. Let's go to Constantinople and see if its fixed yet.
>>
>>342163
>>Talk to the royal family in charge of Stockholm. And see Betrid again, you need them to make the populace more loyal.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>342163
We should go to Moscow. See how the whole dragonifying of the land went. Find out if people have forgiven us for Dragon Bears because they loved actually having plentifull food for once in their comunist lifetimes.
>>
>>342163
>>...Continue to a different city. This whole lack of respect is starting to piss you off.
>>
You decide to go to a different city.

Choices.

>Iceland.
>Paris.
>Oslo.
>Hansodr.
>Moscow.
>Koscovo.
>Rome.
>Constantinople.
>>
>>342163
>Talk to the royal family in charge of Stockholm. And see Betrid again, you need them to make the populace more loyal.


The Finns I can accept such behavior but not this!
>>
>>342215
>>Moscow.
>>
>>342215
>Moscow.

Dragon Bears guys
>>
>>342215
>Paris.
It's such a nice city to briefly visit.
>>
>>342215
>>Moscow.
>>
Rolled 6, 18 = 24 (2d20)

Moscow it is.

Your trip takes you to Moscow.

Ignore my rolling.
>>
>>342217
Actually Danes acting that way to Swedes, and vice versa I can get. All in all I think that visit went fairly well.
>>
>>342235
As your motorcade travels into the Russian countryside, your motorcade notices that there's something in the brush. You turn your head to look, but a series of explosions, and a sudden explosion from beneath your limo sends it onto its side, causing you to hit your head a few times. (-100 HP), and a sudden, and zealous charge from outside, you stumble out of your limousine. You hear shouts of "For mother Russia!" and "This is for the Dragon Bears!", along with "For the Union!"
Great, seems like the Communists decided to attack. You slowly get to your feet, and notice that your men are fighting... Terribly. You also notice that some of the Russian partisans are making a beeline straight for you... It's rather hard to see, and you feel disoriented.

Actions.

>Grab a gun, and hold the line against the Ruskies. It'll look good in propaganda. (Firearms.)
>Alright, time to fuck some communists up. Shift into a smaller sized dragon form so you don't crush your motorcade, but can deal with the commies.
>Stay down, your motorcade can deal with it, right?
>Write-In
>>
>>342262
>>Grab a gun, and hold the line against the Ruskies. It'll look good in propaganda. (Firearms.)
>>
>>342262
>Alright, time to fuck some communists up. Shift into a smaller sized dragon form so you don't crush your motorcade, but can deal with the commies.
>>
>>342262
>Grab a gun, and hold the line against the Ruskies. It'll look good in propaganda. (Firearms.)
>>
>>342262
>Grab a gun, and hold the line against the Ruskies. It'll look good in propaganda. (Firearms.)
And now we only need a communist mage. Ah, it's like old times!
>>
Rolled 14, 1 + 3 = 18 (2d20 + 3)

Roll me a 1d20+1 for firearms.

Ignore my rolling.
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>342286
No need for the stock, just wing it.
>>
>>342289
oops.
>>
Rolled 7 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>342289
why did you roll
>>
File: Doom.Guy.png (523 KB, 600x638)
523 KB
523 KB PNG
Wow.

You and your men cannot into guns.

Use Barbaric?

>Yes.
>No
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>342286
>>
>>342304
>Yes.
Well, when everything fails, just hulk out and eat some fuckers.
>>
>>342304
>Yes.
>>
>>342304
Yes
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20... Considering that we only use Barbaric on Critical Fails, I'm thinking about ruling that if the reroll fails, the critical failure still applies.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>342324
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>342324
Ok, that sounds alright.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>342324
>>
Welp, Elves have clearly sabotaged our guns.
>>
>>342352
That's another charge to their list.
>>
>>342352
We should just go full dragon. We should ALWAYS go full dragon. Remember the White Death?
>>
>>342358
We've got a lot of health, we can take it. I'd like to expand our skillset more than "eats everything."
>>
>>342332
10

Sorry anons, Critical Failure.

You grab a rifle, and prepare to fire... Until you see something.

"Come, Sasha! You big strong Soviet Dragon Bear, da?"

...Holy fucking shit. That is tamed, soviet, dragon bear.
Your men stop fighting, throw their weapons on the ground, and begin to flee in abstract terror and silence. You turn around!

"Fight you cowards! Fi-"

You hear a mighty roar, which deafens you. You turn around, and you get pounced by the Dragon Bear, (-3000 HP) while the soviets cheer. You cannot shift, thanks to the fact A FUCKING DRAGON BEAR IS IN YOUR FACE OH SHIT OH GOD!

Actions.

>...Try to wrestle with it! (Body, HARD)
>Breathe fire in it's face! Surely, being a DRAGON BEAR it is not immune to fire! (Body)
>Spit acid in it's face! (Body)
>...Calmly pray to God to get you out of this one.
>Soviet Bears are not immune to ice! Breathe ice in it's face! (Body)
>Write-In

So, on a scale of 1 being Not Fucked, to 10 being Get the Lube, how fucked are you?

Current HP: 11,000 (Half-Dragon)
>>
>>342379
>...Try to wrestle with it! (Body, HARD)

8
>>
>>342379
>>Write-In
Transform back into Dragon form and swallow the fuck whole.
>>
>>342379
>Spit acid in it's face! (Body)

We never did carry out that elf genocide did we?
>>
>>342379
I would say 6

>Spit acid in it's face! (Body)

Acid isn't going to fail us!
>>
>>342304
>your men cannot into guns.
the first roll is for our men right
>>
>>342388
>>342388
...Problem is, your fucking panicing and cannot transform into dragon form until you get the giant dragon bear off you.

Also, I just rolled on the Wizards of the Coast website, using dice. And I got a natural twenty on the bear's body check.

Roll anons, roll, roll me a 1d20+15 baby.
>>
Rolled 10 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342401
>>
>>342379

Elizabeth/10

>>...Calmly pray to God to get you out of this one.
>>
Rolled 16 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342401
Die
>>
Rolled 13 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342401
Suck +15 mod.
>>
Rolled 12 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342401
This is what happens anons when we dont just stomp assassination attempts as a dragon.
>>
>>342411
Here's hoping Bear's Body modifier is less than 11
>>
>>342411
16+15=31

Great Success!

You spit acid in it's eyes, and it roars. It comes crashing down on you, and starts ripping and tearing into your arms, breaking them. It also breathes fire into your face, and your start screaming in a mixture of pain, fear, and "oh god what did I do to deserve this".

The soviets have stopped laughing and have surrounded you, and begin to open fire.
Total Health Loss: -7000 HP

Health: 4,000.

Actions.

>Fuck, try to squirm out from the bear's grasp! (Agility, HARD)
>Try to wrestle with it, even if it broke your arms! (Body, VERY HARD)
>Ice! ICE! ICE!!! (Body)
>God... Are you there God?
>Write-In
>>
>>342438
>>Ice! ICE! ICE!!! (Body)
>>342438
>>
>>342438
>Ice! ICE! ICE!!! (Body)
>>
>>342438
>Ice! ICE! ICE!!! (Body)
>>
>>342438
>>Ice! ICE! ICE!!! (Body)
It's time for GENERAL WINTER to work for us.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15 for Ice.
>>
>>342304
>your men cannot into guns.
THE Communists ROLLED A ONE WHY ARE OUR MEN RUNING
>>
Rolled 9 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342438
...This was a Great success?
>>
>>342476
In a sense, it can no longer see and you can now get out of the fucking way.
>>
>>342469
This guy has a point though.

In both >>342286
And >>342235
Diferent sides rolled lower and yet it was our guys both times that got wreck'd
>>
>>342483
>Diferent sides rolled lower and yet it was our guys both times that got wreck'd
BECUSE OP IS A FAGOT
>>
>>342469
I decided to switch the rolls around beforehand so anons couldn't guess the commies or motorcade's rolls.
>>
Rolled 12 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342452
>>
>>342490
See, this is what I'd call Non-constructive criticism.

>>342492
What diference does it make wether or not we can gues who is who if we get no actions to chose from between you rolling and action post comming out? We literaly can't do anything even if we know that our guys suck, you could just tell in the post to avoid the guy above.
>>
>>342492
YOU JUST DID A FUCKING WATTIE DEATH
>>
>>342507
...Anon, stop channeling the powers of the S.S Salt Division.
>>
Rolled 17 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342452
>>
>>342507
Not this again. That was not QM's fault, that was people not getting the rules making a fuss about things.
>>
>>342514
NOT WENN IT A FUCKING FACT
>>
>>342515
>>342515
17+15

Borderline Success!

You breathe ice in it's face, causing it to be unable to move. You manage to climb off of it, and stand up, although heavily injuried. The soviets look at you, and their leader seems to say something.
"We'll just call it a tie, comrade?"

You look towards the Russian bear trainer, who's running over to help out Sasha.

"Sasha! Sasha! Speak to me Sasha!"

Actions.

>...Yeah. Let's call it a tie, your really fucking hurting.
>...Shift into Dragon form and finish the soviets off.
>Yeah. No. Grab your gun and finish them off. (Firearms)
>Write-In
>>
>>342514
There is still one (You) waiting for answer that might limit the salt.
>>342502
>>
>>342537
>>...Shift into Dragon form and finish the soviets off.
>>
>>342537
>...Shift into Dragon form and finish the soviets off.
Keep the bear though, we can experiment with it to see how a dragon bear was made.
>>
>>342502
Eh, I'll start doing that from now on Anon.
>>
>>342537
>...Yeah. Let's call it a tie, your really fucking hurting.
>>
>>342537
>Necromance our arms back on.
>Tell the Comunists that they shall now join you in the Most Soviet of all Sports, Vodka Chess, to celebrate you living through wrestling with a Dragon Bear.
>Convince the Comunists that you are in fact the better option for the people.
>>
>>342537
>...Shift into Dragon form and finish the soviets off.
Enough messing around.
>>
>>342537
>...Shift into Dragon form and finish the soviets off.
>>
You shift into Dragon Form.

"May I suggest something? RUN."

The soviet officer quickly spirals around and flees with his men back into the forest.

"Charge in the other direction comrades!"

Actions.

>...Tell Flame to light them up. (Body)
>Eh, you haven't eaten anyone in a while. (Body)
>Demand they surrender and become your slaves. (Intimidate, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>342582
>>...Tell Flame to light them up. (Body)
>>
>>342582
>...Tell Flame to light them up. (Body)
>Eh, you haven't eaten anyone in a while. (Body)

We do have two heads now so multitasking like this should be easier.
>>
>>342582
>...Tell Flame to light them up. (Body)
>Eh, you haven't eaten anyone in a while. (Body)
Wonder how charred communist would taste.
>>
Whelp, roll me a 2d20+15.
>>
>>342589
Sounds like a plan, supporting.
>>
>>342589
>We do have two heads now so multitasking like this should be easier.
no it wont it will just meen we get to roll 2d20 and higher chance to roll a one
>>
>>342589
>>342602
+1
>>
Rolled 17, 9 = 26 (2d20)

>>342602
>>
>>342613
shhh... don't give QM any ideas
>>
Rolled 20, 16 + 15 = 51 (2d20 + 15)

>>342607
>>
>>342654
Joining us now is Flames, the best extra head a dragon could ask for!
>>
20+15=35
9+7=16

Hey, big man. Want me to set something on fire?
Why, it's like you can read my mind!
Of course I can, Ren, now, when are we getting to seduce wenches and/or get some more alcohol?
...Just light these faggots up.
You got it bossman.

Flame's head starts setting them on fire, and the terrain surrounding it, and he even throws in a evil laugh, and helps you out in devouring the charred corpses. The men are unable to flee, and quickly burn to death. You must admit, charred communist is tastes rather thin, and rather smokey, but well-cooked on both sides, and with a fiery kick to it as well! Damn, Flames is an excellent cook.

You get your men and scold them for being cowards, and you head back to your motorcade. After a few hours of repair, your on the road again, and continue on.

The countryside is deserted, and seems to despise your rule, as some of the farmers throw rocks at your limo, but are quickly restrained by the Motorcade. You travel into Moscow, and a small protest gathers around the motorcade, and claims of "the Proletariat will rise again, fascist!" and "My family was killed by a dragon bear, you dick!" and "Thanks for the food, your awesome!"... Wait, that really isn't a protest. It seems half of the protestors are in fact, loyal citizenry thanking you for colonizing Siberia. Huh.

Actions.

>Tell Oalaf about the communist attack.
>Tell Oalaf that there's some "elves" outside.
>Eh, continue with your trip elsewhere.
>>
>>342702
>>Tell Oalaf about the communist attack.
>>
>>342702
>Tell Oalaf about the communist attack.
>>
>>342702
>Tell Oalaf that there's some "elves" outside.
>>
>>342702
>>Tell Oalaf about the communist attack.
>>
You go and find Oalaf in the Kremlin, who's apparently talking to some Orthodox priest.

"Oi, it's the big-nosed dragon from Scandanvia! You've come here just in time to meet this ugly little shit who's mother is no doubt a sorry slut indeed."

"Your eminence."

"Eh, shut it you!"

"Oalaf, you do realize that a communist ambush attacked me on the way here."

"Aye, I've been getting them all the time. Can't really keep up with it though, since I have to dedicate most of the soldiers to protecting the food shipments from Dragon Bears, Siberian Dragon Lions, or worse yet, the Mongolians."

"Mongolians?"

"Aye! Those sods in their little shitty fuckin' tents, why, I oughta shove a broomstick up their little fuckin' puckered perfected ass, just so they can get some fuckin' backbone!"

Actions.

>...You have fun with that.
>Alright, I assume you want some more military soldiers sent up here?
>So, what are you talking to this priest about?
>Write-In
>>
>>342747
>>Alright, I assume you want some more military soldiers sent up here?
>>So, what are you talking to this priest about?
>>
>>342747
>Write-In

"Do you want me to deal with them or just to send you some troops?"
>>
>>342747
>Alright, I assume you want some more military soldiers sent up here?
>>
>>342752
Seconded
>>
"So, I assume you want more soldiers send up here?"

"Aye! I can barely manage to hold on as it is!"

You nod.

"So, what's the story with this priest?"

"Eh, ain't much to tell. The priest's tryin' to get me to sell some land to him in exchange for some money."

"Ah. So, do you want me to deal with the mongolians?"

"Wah? It ain't like they be fightin' us. It's just that the little bastards and their little shitty horses keep sayin' we're destroying their little fuckin' plains or whatever, like elven fuckboys!"

"Well then..."

You head back to the limo. You have a few more places to visit.

>Koscovo.
>Hansodr.
>Iceland.
>Paris.
>Rome.
>Constantinople.
>Oslo
>>
>>342784
>Constantinople

Although if we can I choose to go to Kiev. Isn't Ukraine part of our reli as well?
>>
>>342797
realm*
>>
>>342784
>Constantinople.
>>
Yeah, I keep forgetting about the Butterlands.

Waiting five more minutes, and ordering a nice pizza in the meantime.
>>
>>342784
>>Constantinople.
>>342784
>>
I can immagine Mongols getting upity about the fact that all of a sudden grass is trying to eat their horses.

"The grass is all red in here!"

"It's just russians being idiotically comunist, look the horse is eating the grass just fine"

*Horse raises head from the grass, half of it is scaly and the other half seemingly has no skin left on it, few blades of grass still sticking on"

"By father sky, what wichcraft is this!"
>>
You decide to take a ride down to Constantinople. The European part of the countryside seems to be ambivalent towards you, and slightly fearful that you may genocide them. As you enter the city, the populace somewhat dislikes you, and many religious folks bear the Orthodox Cross, and yell out condemning words towards both you and your motorcade. You decide to rest in your palace, which is still going renovations, when you wake up at midnight, you see down in the Hagia Sophia, a crowd armed with torches and anger. However, it seems they hesitate from burning anything, and are just angrily chanting. You can even hear it from the Imperial Palace.

Actions.
>Fly down there in Dragon Form... You will figure out what all the fuss is about.
>Go down there in a different form. (Specify)
>Ignore it.
>Write-In
>>
>>342884
>>Fly down there in Dragon Form... You will figure out what all the fuss is about.
>>
>>342884
>Fly down there in Dragon Form... You will figure out what all the fuss is about.
>>
>>342884
>Fly down there in Dragon Form... You will figure out what all the fuss is about.
>>
>>342884
>Fly down there in Dragon Form... You will figure out what all the fuss is about.

I have a question. If we took enough damage in dragon form, would flames eventually die? Also does Smaug have two heads now?
>>
>>342897
Flames dies when you die. If his head got severed you would soon follow from blood loss, so not really any difference.
If you get over several heads, then maybe, as your heads would have to shrink down to avoid overcrowding.

You fly down to the Hagia Sophia, and the crowd panics and begins to flee, however, a few citizens remain, but their cries of protest are silenced.

Actions.
>Yeah... What's all this about?
>Make Flame's breath fire in the air and demand the crowd to disperse.
>...Eat some members of the crowd, because why not?
>Write-In
>>
>>342916
>>Yeah... What's all this about?
>>
>>342916
>Yeah... What's all this about?
What happens if our main head gets wrecked like the brain getting destroyed? Does our conscience take control of flames head or do we just die?
>>
>>342923
Please note I'm talking about brain damage, nothing big like a beheading
>>
>>342916
>>Yeah... What's all this about?
>>
>>342923
You take control of Flame's head, and basically share a room.
>>
"Alright, what's all of this about?"

"Dragon! We demand recompense for the actions taken by your soldiers during the siege of Constantinople! We don't give a shit about the muslims, in fact thank you for doing that! We just want recompense for the churches burned down!" a rather brave and young priest yells out. Another man whispers in his ear...
"And lower the butter tax please!" You see him shake his head and yell at the man.

Actions.

>...Sure, your willing to compensate for the churches. But not the butter tax. That is sacred for you.
>No, and no.
>Your insolence will serve you well on fire. Flames, light him up.
>Write-In
>>
>>342957
>>...Sure, your willing to compensate for the churches. But not the butter tax. That is sacred for you
>>
>>342957
>...Sure, your willing to compensate for the churches. But not the butter tax. That is sacred for you.
>>
>>342937
Can we get a pool table then?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXRzr1ULNn8
>>342957
>...Sure, your willing to compensate for the churches. But not the butter tax. That is sacred for you.
>>
>>342957
>...Sure, your willing to compensate for the churches. But not the butter tax. That is sacred for you.
>>
>>342973
Sure.

"So... I can do that about the churches but the whole "Butter Tax"... That's a no."

"Told you... We in the Orthodox Church request a total of... Four million dollars, to be donated to church services in order to pay for the funerals, and construction of a new church."

Actions.

>...How about I build the church? I mean, it's not that hard, is it? Then we go our separate ways?
>...Erhm... Why don't I give the Orthodox Church a voice in the government? You can be a... Advisor or something. (Charisma)
>...On second thought, no.
>Write-In
>>
>>343014
>...Erhm... Why don't I give the Orthodox Church a voice in the government? You can be a... Advisor or something. (Charisma)
>>
>>343014
>...How about I build the church? I mean, it's not that hard, is it? Then we go our separate ways
>>
>>343014
>...How about I build the church? I mean, it's not that hard, is it? Then we go our separate ways?
>>343014
>>
>>343014
>...How about I build the church? I mean, it's not that hard, is it? Then we go our separate ways?


You know how we can tunnel? Lets make a huge wall underground church!
>>
"I mean... I could build the church."

"Oh. I mean, that would be interested. I suppose we will allow it, showing humility I suppose."

"That is an... Idea."

We're going to build a church? LET'S DO IT!
You are awfully excited about this, aren't you?
Let's dig it underground! With spikes! Oooh! And also, let's add a lava pool or something! AND SPIKES!


You chuckle softly.
"Alright priest, show me where you want the church to be constructed."

"Oh. Very well."

The priest leads you to a rather small section by the city walls... It's rather empty, and citizens begin to gather to watch you work.

Actions.

>Make a small basement, like a scriptorium for the priests.
>Make a medium basement.
>Make a large basement.
>Make a HUGE basement. It will be a mostly underground church!
>Don't add a basement.

Also, how many feet underground will the basement be? Please put it in feet.
>>
>>343068
>Make a large basement.
>>
>>343068
>Make a HUGE basement. It will be a mostly underground church!
100ft under
>>
Waiting five more minutes..
>>
>>343068
>Make a HUGE basement. It will be a mostly underground church!

At least 100 feet deep. Prepare for the coming apocalypse of nukes, demons and SJW's.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

A HUGE basement it is.

Ignore my rolling.
>>
As you tunnel deeper, you accidentally burrow into... A Cistern? The design plans never said there was a cistern here. The cistern is full, and you narrowly avoided burrowing into it via your underground senses.

You have hit the Rock layer.

Actions.

>Attempt to use the cistern in your design, somehow.
>...See if you can't collapse the Cistern in on it's self.
>Write-In
>>
File: BuildingMap.jpg (19 KB, 770x587)
19 KB
19 KB JPG
>>343127
Also, design plan.
>>
>>343127
>>Attempt to use the cistern in your design, somehow.
>>
>>343127
>>Attempt to use the cistern in your design, somehow.
>>
>>343127
>Attempt to use the cistern i
design, somehow.
Looks like its getting a giant aquarium
>>
>>343127
>Attempt to use the cistern in your design, somehow.
>>
You decide how you should put it in...

Maybe we could just drain it and use it as a sort of burial area or something?

Actions.

>Drain it out.
>...Try to make a waterfall? (Intelligence)
>Try to use it as plumbing.
>Ignore it.
>You have a specific idea in mind... (Write-In)
>>
>>343154
>...Try to make a waterfall? (Intelligence)
>>
>>343154
>>...Try to make a waterfall? (Intelligence)
oooh.
>>
>>343154
>>...Try to make a waterfall? (Intelligence)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 for intelligence.
>>
Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>343185
>>
Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>343185
>>
>>343190
16+6=22

Great Success!

After burrowing the cistern into the sea, then creating a sort of loop, you manage to create a salt waterfall! Of course, now you begin construction on the floors.

Choices.
>How many floors are there? (Can be up to twenty, but then each floor is 5ft, and considered uncomfortable.)
>Any special designs for the basement floors?
>For the above ground, how many feet high should the church be?
>>
File: BuildingMap1.jpg (20 KB, 770x587)
20 KB
20 KB JPG
>>343214
Also, here's the current design plan.
>>
>>343214
>>How many floors are there? (Can be up to twenty, but then each floor is 5ft, and considered uncomfortable.)
7 floors cause it's a holy number
>Any special designs for the basement floors?
there should be a giant hole in the middle of the floors where the water flows down and pools at a shrine at the bottom
>For the above ground, how many feet high should the church be?
maybe like modest looking as far as monestarys go, like 3 floors? so fourty feet
>>
>>343233
This
>>
File: BuildingMap2.jpg (42 KB, 770x587)
42 KB
42 KB JPG
With that done, do you wish for any special sort of roof?

>Put a normal roof over it.
>Put a dome and a roof over it, similar to the renaissance churches.
>Put Stockholm's unique architecture here.
>Write-In
>>
>>343280
>>Put a dome and a roof over it, similar to the renaissance churches.
>>
>>343280
Put an onion dome on it similar to other Orthodox structures as a will of good faith to our subjects. Although maybe put just some small dragon statues on in order to decorate it.
>>
You construct the walls, Flame helping out by carefully dropping bricks with his teeth, and so do you.

With that done, the priest is astounded.

"Amazing, it only took you three hours to build this church. God wills it indeed."

You leave, and prepare to visit yet another city.

>Rome.
>Koscovo
>Your tour is over... It's probably best to return home.
>Oslo.
>Hansodr.
>Ukraine
>>
>>343297
>Rome
>>
>>343297
>Koscovo
>>
>>343297
>Rome

I at least want to visit Rome and Italy to see the effects of us overthrowing the Pope, which might be good thing to Italian nationalists but bad to more devout Catholics.
>>
You decide to visit Rome, and you drive through it's lands. Many civillians salute and cheer at the sigh of your limo, and you hear quite a few words in draconic, such as "Glory to you!" Your driver tells you that some more hardcore idealists are speaking Latin... It seems Draconic and Latin are one of the same. Hm. You wave and cheer at the friendly countrymen, and some families gather to salute you. It's rather nice.

As you enter the city however, a more darker contrast, most citizens call you a "false pope" or a "heretic", and the local Crusader Orders mobilize to protect you, alongside the Swiss Guard. You eventually take shelter in the Vatican, and a massive riot is formed outside. Your grandmasters assure you that they will disperse shortly, and soon enough they do.

Actions

>Travel to a different city.
>Hm... Prehaps there is some way to get on their side?
>Write-In
>>
>>343316
>Hm... Prehaps there is some way to get on their side?
>>
>>343316
>>Hm... Prehaps there is some way to get on their side?
>>
>>343316
>Hm... Prehaps there is some way to get on their side?
>>
You start thinking if there is any way to get on their side.

Flames, do you have any ideas on how to get the populace to not lynch us?

Well, you could always call for a "New Roman Empire" or something. I would imagine anything having to do with Rome would sell well with well... Romans.

Actions.

>That's a good idea. Perhaps declare a reformed Roman Empire?
>You could always rampage throughout the city, then convert the survivors. Of course that's really bad for public image. (Body)
>Order reconstruction of the city's past buildings, like the Colosseum or something.
>Write-In
>>
>>343338
>That's a good idea. Perhaps declare a reformed Roman Empire?
>>
>>343338
>>Order reconstruction of the city's past buildings, like the Colosseum or something.
>>343338
>>
>>343338
>Order reconstruction of the city's past buildings, like the Colosseum or something.
>>
You decide to order reconstruction of the Colosseum... Now of course, you could always make it an attraction...

>...You know, you feel like one day you'll invite your mother over, and you need to impress her... Make the Colosseum suitable for lethal slave fighting. It may be inhumane, but it'll be entertaining no doubt, and awesome with naval battles and glorious battles! Also, see if you can't get to eat the corpses as snacks between battles.
>Yeah, all of above but skip out on the corpse-eating. Don't want to disgust tourists.
>Your mother may visit, but still... Lethal slave fighting? It's 1953, have it be as non-lethal as possible, and then we'll talk.
>No... You'd rather not make it slave fighting. Have it be lethal, but at least with volunteers.
>Not even then, have it non-lethal with volunteers.
>No... Just restore it into a stadium for basketball or some other mortal thing.
>Elizabeth does like history and gardens... Perhaps restore the Colosseum and make it into a massive garden for her?
>Write-In
>>
>>343365
>...You know, you feel like one day you'll invite your mother over, and you need to impress her... Make the Colosseum suitable for lethal slave fighting. It may be inhumane, but it'll be entertaining no doubt, and awesome with naval battles and glorious battles! Also, see if you can't get to eat the corpses as snacks between battles.

Note to self; conquer and rebuild the gardens of Babylon for Elizabeth.
>>
>>343365
>No... You'd rather not make it slave fighting. Have it be lethal, but at least with volunteers.
>>
>>343365
>>No... You'd rather not make it slave fighting. Have it be lethal, but at least with volunteers.
>>
Waiting fifteen more minutes.
>>
>>343365
>>No... You'd rather not make it slave fighting. Have it be lethal, but at least with volunteers.
>>
You decide against the whole slave fighting, but you decide to have it be lethal, and with volunteers at the very least. It'll be quite amusing, and the populace is generally much more happier that "your restoring our ancient history". They'll hopefully be entertained by this stadium.

With that done, you have only a few more places left to head.

>Try Paris.
>Kosovo?
>Ukraine.
>No, your done. Head back home and rest.
>Oslo.
>Hansodr
>>
>>343414
>>Kosovo?
>>
>>343414
>Try Paris.
>>
>>343414
>Ukraine.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d3)

Whelp, rolling.

1=Kosovo
2=Paris
3=Ukraine
>>
You decide to go to Kosovo, the countryside is... Mixed. Most people watch you carefully, and many others slowly retreat to their homes. Your motorcade is on high alert for any Serbian Nationals. Luckily, none attack and you get to Kosovo safely. A crowd has gathered to watch, most watching you carefully.

Actions.

>...Damn it, unroll your window and try to get them to cheer or something. You've traveled for a few damn days. (Charisma)
>No, your just watching. If they won't cheer, so be it.
>Write-In
>>
>>343455
>...Damn it, unroll your window and try to get them to cheer or something. You've traveled for a few damn days. (Charisma)
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+7 to get them to cheer.
Going to roll something in private.
>>
File: image.jpg (466 KB, 1536x1737)
466 KB
466 KB JPG
>>343455
>No, your just watching. If they won't cheer, so be it.

Around Serbs watch yourself.
>>
Rolled 18 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>343461
Inb4 elves or communists
>>
Rolled 10 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>343461
>>
>>343467
Not with my rolling anon.
Not with my rolling.

18+7=25

Great Success.

You unroll the window and show yourself to them. The crowd actually seems to be... Escorting you. You notice the Dragon Swastika on almost all of their arms, and someone tries to enter the crowd, but is kicked straight in the crown jewels, and knocked to the ground. A sudden gunshot from the man, aimed towards you misses by a mile, which sends the crowd mauling him, and you notice the man is indeed, Turkish. The crowd proceeds to beat the shit out of him, and a few members of the crowd grab him and take him somewhere.
As you reach the city's center, cheers emerge from the populace, apparently you are well-liked. Huh.

Actions.

>Ask someone who was that man who attempted to assassinate you.
>Thank the escort crowd publicly.
>Ask someone what will happen to the man who attempted to assassinate you?
>Write-In
>>
>>343474
>Thank the escort crowd publicly and give free pocket knives to everyone.
>>
>>343474
>>Ask someone who was that man who attempted to assassinate you.
>>Thank the escort crowd publicly.
>>
>>343474
>Thank the escort crowd publicly.
Rip the roach that tried to pull a Franz Ferdinand on us
>>
>>343479
supporting
>>
As you get out of the limo, you note that Kosovo is... It's extremely damaged. Quite a few buildings are looted, or damaged. You also note that further out of the cities some houses are ablaze, and that the occasional body lines the street. Well then.

You ask a nearby man, who the guy who attempted to assassinate you was.
"He was dirty kebab."
That's all he says, and you nod, not knowing what the fuck a kebab is.

Your give a small speech to the crowd.

"I would like to thank you for protecting me against that assassin... Now, would someone explain to me why the city is so damaged?"

One man approaches you.

"Communist uprising."

Actions.

>Thank them for... Removing the communists?
>...How did they get the weaponry to defeat them?
>...Wait... Why is there a crowd gathered here to celebrate me? Shouldn't people be making sure their families aren't dying or something?
>Write-In
>>
>>343491
>Thank them for... Removing the communists?
>...Wait... Why is there a crowd gathered here to celebrate me? Shouldn't people be making sure their families aren't dying or something?
>>
>>343491
>...Wait... Why is there a crowd gathered here to celebrate me? Shouldn't people be making sure their families aren't dying or something?
>>
"Hang on, why are you here to celebrate me? Isn't your town on fire an-"

"Yes."

"...Shouldn't you take care of it?"

"You are leader, leader is important to nation. Nation keeps kebabs away, and Serbija likes those who remove kebab."

"What the fuck is a kebab?"

"A... Muslim. I think, that is what they call it in English."

"Don't your people want independence?"

"Of course."

"...Then why aren't you trying to kill me or anything like that?"

"Because the Germans will kill us next."

Ah. So it's pragmatism.

"Well, I guess thank you for removing the communists."

"We do this every Friday. No thanks needed."

"Wait, every Friday you go out and lynch communists?"

"Yes."

"...Where do you get the weapons?"

"Serbia always finds a way."

Well then. Your honestly not sure if you want to stay in Serbia any longer.

Actions.

>...Yeah. Cool it down with the removing of communists and your alright.
>...You should be a cabinet member, for your dedication to the nation. And removing kebab.
>Just leave. Leave this crazy land behind.
>Write-In
>>
>>343515
>Just leave. Leave this crazy land behind.
>>
>>343515
>...You should be a cabinet member, for your dedication to the nation. And removing kebab.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>343515
>>...You should be a cabinet member, for your dedication to the nation. And removing kebab.
>>
"So... Would you like to be a cabinent member?"

"Sure."

"...Yes? Alright... So. I guess you'll be a..."

Designate what cabinet position he'll hold anons!
>>
>>343546
defence minster
>>
>>343546
Minister of Muslim integration
>>
>>343553
and culture
>>
>>343546
Minister of defense
>>
>>343546
ministry of kebab removal
>>
With that finished, you hop in your limo, and drive off... The tour is nearly finished, thank God.

You have mutated!

Select from the following...

>Stable.
>Unstable.
>Extremely Unstable.
>Ultra Unstable.
>Attribute Point.
>Upgrade.
>>
>>343562
>>Extremely Unstable.
>>
>>343562
>Upgrade mutation
Our second head,
>>
>>343562
>Extremely Unstable.
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d100 for mutation.
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>343573
>>
>>343574
82=Double Eyed!

You grow a pair of eyes! These eyes help you see quite a bit better, and are located right next to your base eyes. This grants you a +2 to Surveying, and a +1 to Insight. These do not apply in any other form besides Half-Dragon and Dragon. Both of your heads have this.

Now, with that done you feel a pain spiking right by your eyes... It fades quickly, and you go back to your journey.

Where to go next?

>Head back home.
>Go to Paris.
>Visit Ukraine.
>Head to Oslo.
>Visit Hansodr

If you guys want to customize your new eyes, go right ahead.
>>
>>343579
>>Visit Ukraine.
hmmmmmm butter
>>
>>343579
>Go to Paris.
Just have them be regular dragon eyes
>>
>>343579
>Visit Ukraine.
>>
>>343579
>>Visit Ukraine.
>>
also I think the eyes on Ren should be blue but the other head's should be red
>>
You decide to visit Ukraine, and quite a bit of the populace celebrates your arrival. However, you really aren't here for them... Your here for the butter.

Can we boil it?
On your part, maybe. I'm going to just drink it like a civilized dragon.

You eventually see in the distance, two huge silos. You ask a peasant what they are, and he proudly claims they are the "Largest Butter Silos in the world!"

Actions.

>...Flame, you get one, I get one. Deal?
>...Drive along. You don't want to cause a scene.
>Write-In
>>
>>343596
>>...Drive along. You don't want to cause a scene
>>
>>343596
>...Drive along. You don't want to cause a scene.
Fly back when its night when no ones around then eat it.
>>
>>343600
seconding
>>
You order your driver to keep driving, but you have an idea of what you'll do tonight... You eventually come to a small town, which is quite small. There is quite little to do here, in Ukraine. That's when you decide to go into the local bar and get a drink. Very few people recognize you, and the few that do seem to just ignore you.

Actions.

>It's about nightfall... Time to guzzle a silo.
>Nah, you'll just get drunk.
>>
>>343614
>>Nah, you'll just get drunk.
>>
>>343614
>It's about nightfall... Time to guzzle a silo.
>>
>>343614
>>Nah, you'll just get drunk.
>>
>>343614
>>It's about nightfall... Time to guzzle a silo.
>>
Ending voting in five minutes.
>>
>>343639
blood for the blood gods!
butter for the butter throne!!!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Whelp, rolling.

1=Butter.
2=Drink.
>>
You decide against raiding the butter reserves, and fall asleep, drunk in the bar.

So anons, that's where I'm going to end it for tonight. I have a trip out of town so I won't be able to run this after tomorrow, but hopefully soon enough I'll be back to this in about a week or so.
>>
Right, time to archive two threads I guess. Any suggestions for descriptions? Bare in mind that the character limit is 140.
>>
Alright, I'm back anons.

After the whole "Maybe I should guzzle a silo" thought line, you get back in your limo. There really isn't much to see in Ukraine, most likely because over ninety percent of it is just grassland.
You have decided on where your next spot will be for visiting...

>Paris.
>Oslo.
>Hansodr.
>Iceland.
>No, your going back to your family. It's been at least two months of travel, who knows what's happened while you were gone.
>Write-In
>>
>>345186
>Hansodr.
After that we should probably visit Oslo, before heading home.
>>
>>345186
>>Paris
Let's find out what that thing Julius mentioned was all about.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Whelp, rolling.

1=Hansodr
2=Paris
>>
You decide to travel all the way back to Scandinavia, and not too far away from Stockholm is well... Hansodr.

Hansodr looks unimperssive. Unlike Stockholm's unique architecture and stone buildings and infrastructure, Hansodr looks more like a giant slum. Crude housing, scrap metal walls, and the occassional gunshot rings out in the distance. But however, on the sides of the city are two massive factories, which you recognize as the German Panzer factories. As you enter the city, the graffiti and squalid conditions makes it an eyesore for you. However, the populace comes out and cheers, the very few humans who no doubt had no choice to move here however, try to escape notice. Most of the populace is non-human, and seems to love you.

Actions.

>Hm. In the future you might want to encourage Claw to visit more, it seems he's been lacking in the whole "manage your lands" deal.
>Leave this retched hive of scum and villainy.
>Set aside in the future a budget to make Hansodr much better then it currently is.
>Write-In
>>
>>345286
>>Hm. In the future you might want to encourage Claw to visit more, it seems he's been lacking in the whole "manage your lands" deal.
>>
>>345286
>>Hm. In the future you might want to encourage Claw to visit more, it seems he's been lacking in the whole "manage your lands" deal.
>Set aside in the future a budget to make Hansodr much better then it currently is.
>>
You make a mental note to tell Claw to visit more... And maybe you should push some of your money towards making this city...Livable.

You are close to Stockholm, so you drive in and tell Claw personally to...

'Get your shit sorted up in Hansodr."

"O-Ok, Renexizious."

Now of course... You have... What? Two cities to visit?

>Travel to Oslo.
>...Elizabeth loves history and gardens... Maybe you could take her to Paris? That will be entertaining.
>You don't know what Paris is like, and you've heard from Julius undead are there. It's best you go solo.
>Eh, just stay in Stockholm, your tour is over.
>Write-In
>>
>>345333
>>Travel to Oslo.
>>
>>345333
>>Travel to Oslo.
>>
You decide to travel to Oslo, the city has been repaired not once, but twice during your reign. Most of the populace are notably Yuan-Ti, with quite a few humans throughout it's populace. Most of the populace likes you, and a few bow in honor. However, the occasional Norwegian shouts "Swede!" towards your limo, but other then that it's pretty fine. The city doesn't seem to have any outstanding issues.

Actions.

>Conclude your tour.
>Head to Paris.
>Write-In
>>
>>345386
>>Head to Paris.
>>
>>345386
>>Head to Paris.
>>
>>345386
>>Conclude your tour.
>>
>>345386
>>Head to Paris.
>>
You decide to finally go to Paris. As you land on the Norman shore, which is part of the British's domain, you take the motorcade to Paris.

You drive into Paris, and an angry mob gathers, pelting your limo with stones, french loaves of bread, but your motorcade dissipates the angry mob.
Paris seems to be rather wealthy and extremely cultured, however the populace seems to despise you.

Actions.

>...Perhaps you should go down into the French Catacombs to see what their like, you'd like to know what Juilius saw at the very least. Oh, and bring the Serb.
>Drive to Versailles and talk to Reuviere about the partisans...
>Conclude your Tour and head back to Stockholm.
>Write-In
>>
>>345435
>>...Perhaps you should go down into the French Catacombs to see what their like, you'd like to know what Juilius saw at the very least. Oh, and bring the Serb.
>>Drive to Versailles and talk to Reuviere about the partisans...
>>
>>345435
>>...Perhaps you should go down into the French Catacombs to see what their like, you'd like to know what Juilius saw at the very least. Oh, and bring the Serb.
>>
>>345435
>>Drive to Versailles and talk to Reuviere about the partisans...
>>
>>345442
+1
>>
You decide to to talk to Reuviere about the French partisans, then go down into catacombs.

As you drive up to Versailies, you note that Reuviere seems to be practicing with his Rapier on one of his muskteers, he looks towards you and finishes the Muskteer off with a rather fancy disarment, sending the Musketeer's blade into a nearby hedgerow. Reuviere walks up to you and says something in French...

Actions.

>Whelp, nothing quite like learning yet another language... (Linguistics.)
>...You don't feel like butchering yet another language.
>Write-In
>>
>>345488
>>Whelp, nothing quite like learning yet another language... (Linguistics.)
>>
>>345488
>>Whelp, nothing quite like learning yet another language... (Linguistics.)
Time to learn.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3
>>
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>345519
>>
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>345519
>>
>>345537
15+3=18

Success!

You quickly put your two brains at work, and in a matter of seconds you understand French. It's rather easy, once you think about it a little more.

"Ah, Reuviere... Would you tell me why the French people hate me?"

"Well, I didn't know you spoke French, and also mostly because you helped the British, and conquered us. Not to mention... The British wife... The fact that nearly twenty-five percent of Paris is socialists, and your "oppressive" regime."

"So it's just the French being French?"

"...I wouldn't put it like that, but yes."

Actions.

>Well then. How likely are they to rise up and try to take power?
>Well, thank you Reuviere, and if you need me... I'll be in the catacombs.
>I suppose there isn't any way to get them on my side, is there?
>Write-In
>>
>>345569
>>Well then. How likely are they to rise up and try to take power?
>>Well, thank you Reuviere, and if you need me... I'll be in the catacombs.
>>
>>345569
>>Well then. How likely are they to rise up and try to take power?
>>Well, thank you Reuviere, and if you need me... I'll be in the catacombs.
>>
>>345569
>Well then. How likely are they to rise up and try to take power?
>I suppose there isn't any way to get them on my side, is there?
>>
"Well then... How likely are they to rise up and try to take power?"

"I would say they would try to take power if you weren't a dragon."

"Well then. I suppose I don't have anything to fear?"

"Not unless you try to go alone in the city streets."

"Ah. Well then, I suppose I'll see you. I am needed elsewhere."

"Alright, Renexizious. I will see you later."

You and the Motorcade go to a rather secluded spot, and you easily open the manhole. The Serb follows with a small SMG... What form do you want to be in.

>Human form.
>Dragonblood form.
>Half-Dragon Form, your likely to get into combat.
>Dragon Form will have a rather squished corridor.
>>
>>345632
>>Half-Dragon Form, your likely to get into combat.
>>
>>345632
>>Half-Dragon Form, your likely to get into combat.
>>
>>345632
>>Half-Dragon Form, your likely to get into combat.
>your
>>
>>345632
>Half-Dragon Form, your likely to get into combat.
>>
You shift into Half-Dragon form, and go beneath into the Catacombs. Your natural darkvision lets you see easily, but the Serb complains.

"It is darker then night down here. Do we have a light?"

You shake your head... Until you come across a lit torch. You pass it to the Serbian, and begin to descend deeper into a room full of... Unsealed coffins.

Actions.

>...Look around, carefully. (Surveying)
>Try to listen closely to see if you hear anything (Intelligence.)
>Delve deeper...
>Try to find some loot in this crypt.
>Write-In
>>
>>345664
>>Try to listen closely to see if you hear anything (Intelligence.)
>>
>>345664
>...Look around, carefully. (Surveying)

We have a bonus in surveying in this form since >>343579
>>
>>345664
>>...Look around, carefully. (Surveying)
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+6 for Surveying.
>>
Rolled 19 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>345705
>>
>>345714
Nice.
>>
>>345714
25

Great Success!

You look around, carefully. Your claw goes onto a wall, where a trail of footprints leads, and when you press your thumb into the wall, the wall starts to slowly raise upward into a dark grotto... A skeleton, no doubt that of a former adventurer can be seen not too far into it.

Actions.
>Enter the room. Carefully, of course.
>Send the Serb in first.
>Throw a rock or something...
>Toss the torch into that room.
>Write-In
>>
>>345733
>Throw a rock or something...
check'd
>>
>>345733
>>Enter the room. Carefully, of course.
>>
>>345733
>Toss the torch into that room
>>
>>345733
>>Write-In
Can we raise the skeleton? If there's something in there, it'll probably attack it.
>>
>>345740
You in fact, can.
I keep forgetting about spells anons... Sorry.
>>
>>345745
changin to raise
>>
>>345740
Changing to this.
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+5 for Necromancy.
>>
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>345760
>>
Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>345760
Rolling bones?
>>
>>345772
...Whelp, the Necrodice has betrayed us.

Use Barbaric?

>Yes.
>No.
>>
>>345772
Guess it's time for barbaric.
>>345783
Yes please.
>>
>>345783
yes.
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>345804
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>345804
>>
>>345812
Necrodice, thank you for forgiving me.
>>
>>345812
I take back my words necrodice...

Holy shit, whenever you guys do Necromancy, you roll a natural twenty, anons. Why don't you do this more often?

Necromancy has leveled up!
>>
>>345825
Well,I jsut forget about it sometimes,and we have been busy with other stuff. No reason not to try it,though. We really should do this moar,guys.
>>
>>345825
Because overusing it would likely cost us its favour.
>>
>>345825
We've always been blessed by the necro dice, the only one with more favor than us is Charlemagne when he got those double 20's.
>>
>>345812
20
Critical Success!

Khorne is pleased...


You decide to raise the skeleton... It slowly gets up, and armor and weaponry attach itself to the skeleton. It seems the skeleton was a Roman Legionnaire in his previous life, and he looks around, seemingly perplexed. Then, in a spectral voice, he says something in Draconic.

"Who are you?"

Huh... You might of created intelligent skeleton life.

Actions.

>...See if you can't channel more necrotic magic into the skeleton to make it more powerful... (Necromancy)
>Your master, Renexizious. Now, who are you?
>...No intelligent undead. Nope. Desummon it.
>Ask how it died...
>Write-In
>>
>>345862
>...See if you can't channel more necrotic magic into the skeleton to make it more powerful... (Necromancy)
>>
>>345862
>>Ask how it died...
>>
>>345862
>>...See if you can't channel more necrotic magic into the skeleton to make it more powerful... (Necromancy)
Skellingtons for the skellington god
>>
>>345862
>>Your master, Renexizious. Now, who are you?
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 for necromancy.
>>
Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>345885
>>
Rolled 15 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>345885
I got to say, it's scary how many 20s I've had in this thread.
>>
>>345891
Actually, I now realise it was last thread that I had all the 20. Oh well.
>>
>>345890
19+5=24

Great Success!

You imbune it with more power! Bones start attaching themselves to the skeleton, adding spikes to his armor from rib bones, and he starts becoming bigger and notably stronger. He is now roughly your size, and is quite brutish for a skeleton...

Actions.

>How strong can you make this skeleton? (Necromancy)
>Ask how it died down here.
>Send it forward!
>Write-In
>>
>>345913
>>Ask how it died down here.
>Send it forward!
>>
>>345913
>How strong can you make this skeleton? (Necromancy)
MORE POWER
>>
>>345913
>>Ask how it died down here.
>>
>>345913
>Send it forward!
>>
>>345936
Change my vote to ask how it died.
>>
"How did you die down here?"

"I was separated from the Legion while defending the Legion's Eagle. Next thing I knew a Vandal put an arrow throw my leg, and I crawled down here. A rather pale officer found me and dragged me here. I don't remember much else."

"Strange... You say you were a Legionnary?"

"Yes. I was recruited from a Germanic Tribe by the Rhine river."

"Amazing!"/

"...Who are you? I am still questioning this."

Actions.

>That matters little... Go down and make sure it's safe.
>...I am your master, Renexizious. Oh, it's also 1953.
>...He belongs in a museum. Keep him out of harm's way.
>Write-In
>>
>>345968
>>...I am your master, Renexizious. Oh, it's also 1953.
do the time warp!
>>
>>345968
>>...I am your master, Renexizious. Oh, it's also 1953.
>>345968
>>
>>345968
>>...I am your master, EMPEROR Renexizious. Oh, it's also 1953.
>>
>>345968
>That matters little... Go down and make sure it's safe.

I believe that the Roman calendar was set around 700 years before ours. The mythical founding of Rome in 753 B.C. was were they counted from so for example Ceaser would've been killed in the year 709 after founding instead of 44 before Christ. Then again I might be talking out of my ass.
>>
"I am your master, Emperor Renexizious. Oh, it's also 1953, Legionnaire."

"Truly? Rome still stands? How long have I been dead?"

"...No. Not really. Also, about a thousand years."

The skeleton's body movement still is lowered, seeming sad. Somehow.

"Very well, Imperator. Where you lead me to glory?"

Actions.

>...Hang on a moment... Let's see if we can't make you a little stronger. (Necromancy)
>Go down, and report whatever you find.
>We're going down, now stick close.
>Write-In
>>
>>346005
>We're going down, now stick close.
>>
>>346005
>>We're going down, now stick close
>>
>>346005
>>We're going down, now stick close.
>>
"We're going deeper into the catacombs, now stick close."

"Yes, Imperator."

He draws his gladius and shield, and your party of three delve deeper into the Catacombs. The hidden entrance leads to a room, with a few lit torches, books scattered, and... A boot?

Actions.

>...Investigate the books.
>Look around... Someone's in here with you, how else would those torches be lit?
>Try to use those torches, they could be levers or something.
>...Don't tell me, the boot is a fucking lever.
>Tell everyone to split up... Someone has to guard the entrance, while you search, and someone else has to make sure the first guy doesn't get ambushed.
>Write-In
>>
>>346050
>>Look around... Someone's in here with you, how else would those torches be lit?
Let's not get ambushed.
>>
You begin to look around... There's no hiding spots visible to you on the ground, but you note a frantic trail of footprints which go deeper, into what seems to be a staircase going down.

Actions.
>Follow the staircase.
>Investigate further up here.
>Write-In
>>
>>346103
>Follow the staircase.
>>
You begin to descend down the staircase, towards the bottom, you note that there is no lighting down here, at all. As you get deeper, you notice a figure suddenly sprint away from you...
Actions.

>Sprint after them! (Agility)
>...No, you'll follow slowly. You don't want to be caught off guard and alone like your skeleton was.
>Write-In
>>
>>346103
>Follow the staircase.
>>
>>346148
>>...No, you'll follow slowly. You don't want to be caught off guard and alone like your skeleton was.
Slow and steady.
>>
>>346148
>>Sprint after them! (Agility)
>>
>>346148
>...No, you'll follow slowly. You don't want to be caught off guard and alone like your skeleton was.
>>
>>346148
>...No, you'll follow slowly. You don't want to be caught off guard and alone like your skeleton was.
>>
You follow slowly, and see the figure disappear. You motion for your two allies to follow, and continue following it into what seems to be... A garden. Makeshift, and most of the plants seem to be dead.

Actions.

>Split up to find that figure.
>...Tell Flames to wake up and breathe fire all over the garden.
>Demand whoever is in here to come out.
>Write-In
>>
>>346187
>>Demand whoever is in here to come out.
>>
>>346187
>>Demand whoever is in here to come out.
>>
>>346187
>>Demand whoever is in here to come out.
>>
"Whoever's in here, come out!"

You get nothing in response, but you do hear running on the otherside.

Actions.

>Whelp... Time to get through this garden.
>Light it up and go through.
>Just punch your way to the other side.
>Write-In
>>
>>346260
>Just punch your way to the other side.
>>
>>346260
>>Just punch your way to the other side.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

You punch your way to the other side as fast as possible... Roll me a 1d20 for how fast you are, and my d20 will be how fast they are going.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>346287
Can I get another 20 and elevate us to One Punch Man status?
>>
>>346294
Doesn't look like it but we still catch the guy
>>
>>346294
>>346294
Close anon, close.

You punch through the garden, breaking small dead trees into splinters, and eventually get to the otherside. Where you see some sort of... Ratman, armed with somesort of knife, and a woman, dressed in robes looking amused towards the ratman.

Actions.

>...Whelp, punch that fucking ratman in the jaw and save the damsel.
>...Demand to know what's going on. (Intimidate)
>...Punch the woman in the jaw, and save the ratman.
>Write-In
>>
>>346313
>Punch them both in the jaw and kidnap them
>>
>>346313
>...Demand to know what's going on. (Intimidate)
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>346319
Yeah, this.
>>
You walk calmly up to them, and prepare to address them.

You punch the little ratman in the fucking jaw, knocking him out cold. The woman turns to you and prepare to say something.

"Ah, than-"

You punch her right in the jaw, knocking her to the ground. She curses you in french.

"Son of a bitch! Why didn't my spell work on you!"

"Yeah, alright."

Actions.

>Interrogate the rat man.
>Interrogate the woman.
>Write-In
>>
>>346319
Supporting. Punch first, questions later.
>>
>>346353
>>Interrogate the woman.
>>
>>346353
>>Interrogate the woman.
Spell? This sounds interesting.
>>
>>346353
>>Interrogate the woman.
Get our skeleton to hold them both down.
>>
You motion for your skeleton to hold them down.

"Spell? What spell?"

"...A charm spell. I was hoping you'd beat the Skaven to death so I wouldn't dirty my hands dealing with it."

"...Skaven?"

"Rat men, as I told you."

This is getting stranger by the minute.

"You don't seem like you come from France..."

She laughs.

"No, I come from Sylvania. It's a different land."

Oh shit... Sylvania? Didn't those fucking halflings tell you about how they were ruled over by vampires or something?

Actions.

>...Crush her head, and burn her body. Deus Vult.
>...See if she's willing to work for you. (Charisma)
>Take her prisoner.
>Interrogate the Skaven.
>Write-In
>>
>>346388
>...Crush her head, and burn her body. Deus Vult.
We cant have vampires just infecting our people and generally making everything corrupt.
>>
>>346388
>>Take her prisoner.
>Interrogate the Skaven.
>>
>>346388
>Interrogate the Skaven.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>346398
Take her ;)
>>
You take the vampire prisoner, and turn to the Skaven... You have great difficulty in actually understanding it's language.

Actions.
>...Try to learn it. (Linguistics).
>Beat the shit out of it until it speaks a human language.
>Write-In
>>
>>346442
>>...Try to learn it. (Linguistics).
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+3 to learn yet more languages.
>>
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>346462
>>
Rolled 11 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>346462
>>
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>346462
>>
>>346471
15+3=18

Minor Success!

This Skaven's filthy rat tongue is crude, and hard to learn. After some minor trial and error, you think you understand. You think.

"Who are you?"

"Kritikch Carbuncle, yes yes!"

"...Alright, what were you doing with that woman?"

"Escaping from the Skryre Clan below! Ran into human-thing!"

"...Skyre?"

"Great Skaven clan! Great Inventors! Great at the winds of magic, yes yes."

Actions.

>...Why was he escaping?
>...Whelp, break his neck. He's of no use to you.
>Take him as a prisoner.
>Write-In
>>
>>346497
>>...Why was he escaping?
>>
>>346497
>...Whelp, break his neck. He's of no use to you.
>>
>>346497
>...Why was he escaping?
>>
"...Why were you escaping?"

"Master found portal in Skaven underground, sent many slaves to investigate. None returned. I was next and I narrowly made it out of there alive!"

The vampire laughs.

"That's because your harmless... We wouldn't waste a second of our time dealing with you, rat."

It seems she also understands Skaven.

Whelp... What to do...
Actions.

>Haul them up to the surface and take them as prisoners.
>Eh, Interrogate further. (Specify what you want to interrogate them on.)
>Order your Skeleton to kill them.
>...Maybe the Skaven can direct you towards the portal?
>Write-In
>>
>>346538
>...Maybe the Skaven can direct you towards the portal?
Have the skeleton take the vampire back up
>>
>>346538
>...Maybe the Skaven can direct you towards the portal?
>>
>>346544
Don't risk skelebro.
>>
>>346538
>>Haul them up to the surface and take them as prisoners.
We can investigate further when no one is at risk of escaping.
>>
>>346538
>>Haul them up to the surface and take them as prisoners.
>>
>>346538
>>Haul them up to the surface and take them as prisoners.
>>
Alright, back after getting some munchies.

"Alright,t let's get back up to the surface."

You begin your ascent upward, and put them into the limo under armed guard.

Actions.

>...Try to find that portal the Skaven told you about.
>Alert Reuviere that there's fucking vampires and shit in the sewers.
>Head back home.
>Write-In
>>
>>346651
>...Try to find that portal the Skaven told you about.
>Alert Reuviere that there's fucking vampires and shit in the sewers.
We can send the serb or one of the limo guards to do the second action
>>
File: confused.png (298 KB, 600x512)
298 KB
298 KB PNG
>>346658
>Be Reuviere.
>Just dueling some of your Musketeers, no big deal.
>Suddenly, a Serb climbs up the wall surrounding Versailles.
>He yells "There is kebab in the sewers!"
>yfw

I love the mental picture of that, anon.
>>
>>346651
>>...Try to find that portal the Skaven told you about.
>>Alert Reuviere that there's fucking vampires and shit in the sewers.
>>
You send the Serb to tell Reuviere, while you decide to delve to find that portal... Do you take the Legionnaire with you?

>Yes... What's his name anyways?
>No.
>>
>>346699
>>Yes... What's his name anyways?
>>346699
>>
>>346699
>>Yes... What's his name anyways?
>>
>>346699
>Yes... What's his name anyways?
>>
You take the Legionnaire down into the Catacombs.

"What is your name, Legionnaire?"

"It is Marcus Cassirer, Imperator."

You begin delving deeper, back to where you originally captured the enemy, and not too far away from there is a staircase, with sounds of fighting and... Musket shots?

Actions.

>Go down there, carefully with Marcus.
>No... You'll smoke em' out with your fire breath. (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>346729
>>Go down there, carefully with Marcus.
>>
>>346729
>>Go down there, carefully with Marcus.
>>
>>346729
>Go down there, carefully with Marcus.

This shit is getting too crazy for me.
>>
You carefully head down the stairs, Marcus covers you from behind, and as you head down the stairs, a full-fledged battle between what seems to be Undead and Skaven seem to be braking out, along with a strange portal in the center of the room...

Actions.

>Pull out!
>...Jump in to defend the Undead.
>...Jump in to defend the Skaven.
>Fuck it, purge it with fire and pull out. (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>346757
>>Fuck it, purge it with fire and pull out. (Body)
>>
>>346757
>>...Jump in to defend the Skaven.
New subjects for the empire.
>>
>>346757
>Fuck it, purge it with fire and pull out. (Body)
>>
Waiting fifteen more minutes.
>>
>>346757
>>Fuck it, purge it with fire and pull out. (Body)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15 for Fire Breath.
>>
Rolled 19 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>346806
>>
No one else roll
>>
>>346824
19+15=34

Extremely Overwhelming Success!

You hold your breath, and breathe fire for a minute straight. The room looks more like a disaster zone, and on the other side of the portal you can see some flames. The few survivors seemed to try to huddle in the corner, but died of smoke inhalation. It seems you've successfully purged this room. Marcus seems amazed.
"You must be blessed by Sol Invictus, Imperator!"
Actions.

>...Go into the portal.
>Nope, fall back.
>Write-In
>>
>>346849
>>...Go into the portal.
>>
Ending voting in five minutes.
>>
>>346849
>...Go into the portal.

If we accidentally fall through we're either going back in time to Ancient Rome or to the D&D-esque world from before
>>
>>346849
>>Nope, fall back.
We don't know if this portal is permanent
>>
You decide to go into the portal... As you approach the portal, you go through it and end up on the other side, alongside Marcus.

"...Where are we?"

You look around. And notice that your on the other side of the room. Nothing happened, you just ran through the portal.

Actions.

>...Leave, this portal is a piece of shit.
>Try to go through it again.
>Write-In
>>
>>346943
>...Go into the portal.
>>
>>346943
>>...Leave, this portal is a piece of shit.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>346943
>>...Leave, this portal is a piece of shit.
Maybe we're in the spirit realm.
>>
You decide to leave, that portal was piece of shit anyways.

As you get up, and head to the door, you find... Some sort of black metal in your way.

Actions.

>...Whelp. See if you can't freeze it and punch it. (Body)
>You could try to melt it. (Body)
>...Fuck. Is there any other way to get out? (Intelligence)
>Write-In
>>
>>347000
>>...Fuck. Is there any other way to get out? (Intelligence)
>>
>>347000
>...Whelp. See if you can't freeze it and punch it. (Body)
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Whelp, rolling.

1=Find a way.
2=Punch it!
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 to find yet another way.
>>
Rolled 6 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>347033
>>
Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>347033
>>
Rolled 1 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>347033
>>
>>347054
2/3 of my rolls this thread have been one, so I'm going to stop rolling.
>>
>>347054
fuckkkkkkkkkkkk
>>347057
I'ts okay,dude. shit happens.
>>
>>347059
Oh, you're a sweetheart.
>>
>>347054
1+6=7

Critical Failure!

You attempt to find another way, which seems to be... Some sort of ventilation shaft. As you climb up, you hear a creaking noise... And the ventilation shaft falls, landing on the ground with a great thud. Marcus seems to stay behind, wondering if your alright as you rip the ventilation shaft in half in anger. As you turn around, you see some sort of man in a white uniform, with a flashlight looking straight at you, terrified, and reaching for something on his hip.

Actions.

>...Rawr? (Intimidate)
>Brush yourself off and introduce yourself to... Whoever this is. (Diplomacy)
>Erh... Fuck it, freeze him solid. (Body)
>...Put your hands up in surrender?
>Write-In
>>
>>347090
>>Brush yourself off and introduce yourself to... Whoever this is. (Diplomacy)
>>
>>347090
>Brush yourself off and introduce yourself to... Whoever this is. (Diplomacy)
>>
>>347090
>>Brush yourself off and introduce yourself to... Whoever this is. (Diplomacy)
>>
>>347090
>Erh... Fuck it, freeze him solid. (Body)

Probably just a French security officer of little worth
>>
Roll me a 1d20+8 for diplomacy.
>>
Rolled 4 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>347110
I lied when I said I wasn't going to roll anymore.
>>
Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>347110
>>
Rolled 8 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>347110
>>
>>347120
8+8=16

Borderline Successful!

You get up, and the man rushes over, speaking on his radio. You don't quite hear what he says, but he levels a gun in your face, though you make yourself look as non-threatening as possible. For a half-dragon, anyways.

Actions.

>...Laugh, honestly a fucking pistol isn't going to do shit against you.
>Grab this insolent guard by the throat and demand to know who's coming as back up. (Intimidation.)
>...Tell Flames to get ready to ignite someone. (Body)
>...Tell the guard to "Freeze". (Body)
>Gut punch him, and knock him out cold. (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>347133
>>Grab this insolent guard by the throat and demand to know who's coming as back up. (Intimidation.)
>>
>>347133
>Grab this insolent guard by the throat and demand to know who's coming as back up. (Intimidation.)

He's French so we should at least get a +7 bonus in intimidating him.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10 for Intimidation.
>>
Rolled 9 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>347152
>>
Rolled 3 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>347152
>>
>>347164
9+10=19

Success.

"Alright, listen up mortal... Who did you call as back up?"

"T-The S.S, please... Don't hurt m-"

You toss him to the side. S.S?

Actions.

>...Grab his gun, you might need it.
>Well, you hopefully can get them on your side. No gun.

Also, what do with the guard?

>Human shield. Even if he's tiny.
>Meh, tell him to take a "chill pill" and freeze him. (Body)
>Leave him be.
>Write-In
>>
Rolled 19 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>
>>347179
>Well, you hopefully can get them on your side. No gun.
>Leave him be.
>>
>>347179
>Well, you hopefully can get them on your side. No gun.
>Write-In
>Ask what year it is
>>
>>347195
this
>>
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schutzstaffel
>>
You take the officer's gun and break it in half and toss it to the ground. No need to get shot in the back.

"Mortal, what year is it?"

"It's... It's 1944, July fourth, sir."

Hm... 1944... July fourth. Why does that date sound familiar?

You hear boots from above you, and angry shouting... It seems the S.S has arrived.

Actions.

>Come out with your hands up, you come in peace.
>...Get your fists ready for battle.
>...July fourth... Why does that date sound familiar? (Intelligence.)

Also...
Shift to a different form?

>No.
>Yes. (Specify)
>>
>>347209
>>...July fourth... Why does that date sound familiar? (Intelligence.)
>>
Ending voting in five minutes.
>>
>>347209
>...July fourth... Why does that date sound familiar? (Intelligence.)

I believe that by this time the Germans were still fighting the allies to the north of Paris in cities such as Caen.
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+6
>>
Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>347242
>>
>>347249
That should do it.
>>
>>347249
16+6=22

Great Success!

July fourth...
You start thinking... And realize.
Oh shit, D-Day is in two days.

Whelp. That's pretty major. And valuable information to Nazi Germany.

You hear the door from above kicked open, and boots start coming down into the basement.

Actions.

>Shift into another form to be more "presentable." (Specify)
>Tell them in French that you surrender.
>Whelp, ice-breathe them while they come down the stairs. (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>347260
>>Whelp, ice-breathe them while they come down the stairs. (Body)
>>347260
>>
>>347260
> use linguistics to learn German
>tell them you have valuable information for your waifu
>>
>>347260
>Shift into another form to be more "presentable." (Specify)

Dragonblood
>>
>>347260
>Use linguistics to learn German
>Shift into another form to be more "presentable." (Dragonblood)
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+3.
>>
>>347274
>>347277
>>347282
guys lets not change history and kill our wife
>>
Rolled 18 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>347285
Dont we already know german? I remember us learning alot early on but I'm not sure.
>>
>>347285
Yeah, changing history would be bad. But leaving a cryptic prophecy about ourselves could be fun.
>>
>>347288
18+3=21

German proves itself to be rather easy to learn, and you shift down to your dragonblood form.

S.S Officers run down, armed with what you recognize as STG-44s, and point them at you.

"Get on the ground!"

Actions.

>Tell them you have some... Information that might interest them. (Diplomacy)
>Fuck, isn't there something about changing history could fuck with the timeline or something? Quickly "ice" these guys and make a bolt for it. (Body)
>...Erh. Well, just put your hands up. Nothing fancy.
>Make a fucking bolt for the ventilation and try to get back to that portal! (Agility, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>347285
I think that QM might linking European Dragon and Nazi Experiment quest. I remember an American sergeant talking about "scalie" things in France that were fucking shit up like partisans.
>>
>>347297
>>Fuck, isn't there something about changing history could fuck with the timeline or something? Quickly "ice" these guys and make a bolt for it. (Body)
>>
>>347297
>Fuck, isn't there something about changing history could fuck with the timeline or something? Quickly "ice" these guys and make a bolt for it. (Body)
>>
Ending voting in five more minutes.
>>
>>347299
We're still a bit early for that, but it's possible.
>>347297
>>Fuck, isn't there something about changing history could fuck with the timeline or something? Quickly "ice" these guys and make a bolt for it. (Body)
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+15. Also, feel free to make a freeze pun or something.
>>
Rolled 19 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347319
Stay cool

I'm just taking this from the batman movie with Arnold as Dr freeze
>>
Rolled 10 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347319
Bye laddies, it was "ICE" to meet you.
Never said they had to be good
>>
NO MORE ROLLS PLEASE
>>
Rolled 13 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347319
Let us all COOL down and talk!
>>
>>347332
I never said you had to anon.

19+15=34.

Overwhelming Success.

"Ah... Hang on. Let's all cool down and talk."

You unleash your ice breath on them... Since it was such a great success... I'm going to let you anons choose how it goes.

>...You breathe ice straight into their eyes, blinding them and allowing you to rush past without harming them.
>You freeze them for about fifteen minutes. They will live.
>You freeze them solid.
>>
>>347342
>You freeze them for about fifteen minutes. They will live.
>>
>>347342
>>You freeze them for about fifteen minutes. They will live.
>>347342
>>
You freeze them, lightly. They tense up and the four soldiers are unable to move.

Actions.

>Back to the portal before you fuck with this timeline. You don't want to be the guy who accidentally kills some guy who turns out to be related to Hans or something.
>...Are you kidding? Fucking Paris under nazi occupation. Hell yeah, your going to fucking explore!
>...Whelp, maybe you can help out the Nazis a little, maybe give them a warning about the assault.
>Fuck the timeline, your going to physically help them! Get your ass down to Normandy!
>Write-In
>>
>>347356
>Fuck the timeline, your going to physically help them! Get your ass down to Normandy!
>>
>>347356
>>Back to the portal before you fuck with this timeline. You don't want to be the guy who accidentally kills some guy who turns out to be related to Hans or something.
>>
>>347356
>Back to the portal before you fuck with this timeline. You don't want to be the guy who accidentally kills some guy who turns out to be related to Hans or something.

And this was just suppose to be a road trip to say hi to people
>>
>>347356
>Fuck the timeline, your going to physically help them! Get your ass down to Normandy!
>>
>>347362
>>347373
do you want to kill hans or our wife
>>
>>347356
>>Back to the portal before you fuck with this timeline. You don't want to be the guy who accidentally kills some guy who turns out to be related to Hans or something.
>>
You decide to head back to the portal, deciding against fucking with this timeline. You climb up through the ventilation, head to the portal and jump through.
In front of you, are a bunch of angry Skaven, apparently ready to march. You also note you are in a rather wide space, seeming like an underground city of sorts.

Actions.

>You popped in to say hi. Firebreath time, and jump back through the portal. (Body)
>...Just casually step back through the portal.
>...Whelp. Rampage? It's large enough to accommodate you in Dragon Form. Maybe not the full size, but you'll be damned huge.
>Write-In
>>
>>347389
>>You popped in to say hi. Firebreath time, and jump back through the portal. (Body)
>>
>>347389
>...Just casually step back through the portal.
>>
>>347389
>You popped in to say hi. Firebreath time, and jump back through the portal. (Body)
>>
>>347389
>>You popped in to say hi. Firebreath time, and jump back through the portal. (Body)
>>
>>347389
>You popped in to say hi. Firebreath time, and jump back through the portal. (Body)
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+15 for napalm.
>>
Rolled 16 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347402
>>
Rolled 3 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347402
>>
Rolled 3 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347402
Let's burn.
>>
>>347406
>"Fire washes the skin off the bone and the sin off the soul. It cleans away the dirt. And my momma didn't raise herself no dirty boy."
>>
>>347406
16+15=31

Overwhelming Success!

You cough loudly, getting their attention.

"Attention! I have an important announcement!"

They look at you, confused.

You grin. "Your all fired."
You promptly breathe fire all over their horde, setting rats aflame, causing it to spread like wildfire. You quickly step back through the portal, and end up back where you started, surrounded by charred corpses, and a confused Marcus.

"Where were you, Imperator?"

"Downsizing."

He looks confused, and just nods.

You head back to the limo... You realize your going to have to figure out what to do with these prisoners sooner or later.

>Skaven and Vampire should be taken into personal custody... As in the laboratory.
>Execute both of them.
>Release them. They really haven't broken any actual laws, now that you think of it. Besides fighting.
>Write-In
>>
>>347417
>>Skaven and Vampire should be taken into personal custody... As in the laboratory.
SCIENCE!
>>
>>347421
I second this.
>>
>>347417
>Skaven and Vampire should be taken into personal custody... As in the laboratory.
>>
>>347417
Roast the rat interrogate the vampire
>>
You decide to take the vampire and Skaven into your personal custody. With that, you have toured all the cities in your empire, and arrive back to Stockholm to a rather happy wife, and your kids. Who have grown significantly since you've left. You give your wife a hug, and tell her about the "Colosseum" you funded down in Rome. She seems somewhat interested. You order the Skaven and the Vampire escorted to your laboratory.

As you enter the Palace, one of your many slaves comes and get you.

"Great One! Some insolent governors are here to petition something to you!"

Actions.

>Oh, very well, what is it?
>...I literally just got back and they expect me to do work? Hah!
>>
>>347429
>Oh, very well, what is it?
>>
>>347429
>>Oh, very well, what is it?
>>
>>347429
>Oh, very well, what is it?
>>
>>347429
>>Oh, very well, what is it?
>>
"Fine, take me to the Council Chambers."

"Yes, Great One!"

As you get escorted to the Council Room, you see your Millitary-Governors assembled. All Half-Dragons, since your forced "All Governors and Officers must be Half-Dragons" Policy. Probably a good call to be honest.


One of them stands up,
"My lord, it is urgent you listen to our advice. We have a few suggestions to further increase efficiency."

"Very well, what is it?'

"Well. One of the largest and most ambitious railroad tracks known to man. We call it... Plan Ieiunium. It will connect Copenhagen, Oslo, Hansodr, and even Paris under one massive railway system. We will need to get permission from the Germans to build this track however, and the costs are predicted to be astronomical. Nearly fifty million dollars."

"...Holy shit."

He rolls out a map.

"This is the complete map... Now, we'll have to build a bridge from Oslo to Copenhagen... Which make take a while."

Actions.

>...You will fund this project. Over time, of course.
>No, this is completely absurd. The Treasury will not fund this just to fuel some general's ambitions.
>Write-In
>>
File: TheTrainTracks.jpg (334 KB, 1200x1142)
334 KB
334 KB JPG
>>347453
And here is the map, in case you are wondering.
>>
>>347453
>>No, this is completely absurd. The Treasury will not fund this just to fuel some general's ambitions.
>>
>>347453
>>...You will fund this project. Over time, of course.
This will really take a while... but it will be worth it in the long run. AND it will provide work for the unemployed, we saw the slums, more jobs are needed.
>>
>>347453
>Write in

Downsize the project so that it will connect Stockholm, Olso and Copenhagen. Paris is too far and will add tens of millions to it and Hansodr isn't vital enough for such a railway.
>>
Waiting ten more minutes.
>>
>>347453
>>347465
Changing my vote to no.
>>
>>347465
Seconded
>>
>>347465
Changing my vote to the write-in
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Whelp, rolling.

1=Downsize.
2=Don't fund.
>>
>>347478
We're steam powered now, boys!
>>
"Fine. Downsize it to Stockholm, Olso, and Copenhagen. Anything else is a waste of the crown's resources and time."

He nods.
"Your will be done, m'lord. Now, however, we have another proposal."

"Does it involve money?"

"Not at all, my lord. It's more practical then that."

You sigh.

"Fine. What is it?"

"Well, my lord. We were hoping you would be open to legalizing the Roman Salute. Since most of our populace does it, it is a rather worthless law, although enforced by NATO."

Actions.

>Sure, anything to piss NATO off.
>No. You'd rather not.
>Crack down on the Roman Salute more.
>>
>>347485
>Sure, anything to piss NATO off.

Also commission a figurine of us in Half-Dragon form doing a Roman Salute and mail it to who ever is in charge of NATO.
>>
>>347485
>Sure, anything to piss NATO off.
>>
"Yes. Also, send a commission to make an sculpture of me, doing a roman salute in half-dragon form, and mail it to the United State's President."

"Alright m'lord. Now, one final suggestion. There has been talk about possibly making some sections of the civil service, such as the police force, reinforced by your serums. In the interest of civil protection, we would like the Crown to see if that would be achievable."

"...So basically, make the firefighters and police force draconic?"

"Precisely, my lord. It would greatly help our officers and firefighters, not to mention paramedics and doctors."

Actions.

>Sure. I mean, the populace will have to get used to having a half-dragon majority eventually.
>No, you aren't going to do this policy. It'd be rather tyrannical to force this.
>Write-In
>>
>>347498
>Sure. I mean, the populace will have to get used to having a half-dragon majority eventually.
>>
"Very well. I authorize this. Now... Is there anything else?"

"No my lord, have a good day."

The Governors dismiss themselves, and your afternoon is rather free.

Actions.

>Deal with the Skaven and the Vampire.
>Talk to Elizabeth.
>See your kids, you haven't been as close with them as your last batch.
>Talk to Claw.
>Visit Hans.
>Visit Anetta.
>Talk to a cabinet member.
>Visit Stockholm.
>See how Richard's doing.
>See how your Dad's doing.
>Write-In
>>
>>347517
>Deal with the Skaven and the Vampire.
>>
>>347517
>>Deal with the Skaven and the Vampire.
>>
You decide to deal with the Skaven and the vampire...

Flames however, has an idea.
Let's try to seduce the vampire!
...I can't tell if that's the most stupid idea you've had, or the most brilliant.
...Wait, we weren't going to do that anyways?


What do with Vampire?

>...SCIENCE! Attempt to do mutations on it! (Alchemy, HARD)
>...SCIENCE! Attempt to seduce it! (Charisma, HARD)
>Neither! You didn't actually plan on dealing with it yet.
>Write-In

What about that skaven dude?
Shush, I'm thinking about it.

>Take care of him with the mobile incinerator. You.
>SCIENCE! MUTATE IT FOR SCIENCE! (Alchemy)
>Honestly, he didn't actually do shit, he's just an ugly motherfucker. Release it.
>Write-In

Hey, Ren... Don't you think we should also make sure the land in Siberia isn't eating our populace?
Oh shit, I nearly forgot. Thanks bro.

Actions.

>Study that fucking Siberian Grasslands! (Research)
>Nah, leave it alone.
>Write-In
>>
>>347531
>Seduce
>Mutate
>Research
>>
>>347531
>>...SCIENCE! Attempt to do mutations on it! (Alchemy, HARD)
>SCIENCE! MUTATE IT FOR SCIENCE! (Alchemy)
>Study that fucking Siberian Grasslands! (Research)
>>
>>347531
Seduce the vampire.
Science the skaven.
>>
>>347531
>Mutate
>Mutate
>Study
>>
Whelp, roll me a 2d20+7
>>
Rolled 3, 3 + 7 = 13 (2d20 + 7)

>>347543
Oh boy, I sure hope we don't fuck this up.
>>
Rolled 19, 10 + 7 = 36 (2d20 + 7)

>>347543
>>
>>347546
I think that should do the trick.
>>
>>347546
19+7=26
Great Success.

After a fair amount of coercion and rhetoric, she eventually falls for you. It seems she's suffering from a bit of Stockholm Syndrome. Meanwhile, you have experimented a tad with the Skaven... Of course, what you make it is... Well. Basically you made an abomination after many hours of syringe poking, minor live dissection, and steroids. You have quite a bit of fun with this rat, and gradually start adding limbs and shit to it. Eventually, you create something rather strange. A little, scaled person. Similar to that of a Kobold, seemingly loyal but a little sinister at the same time.

Actions.

>...Whelp, guess you got a new servant.
>Burn it.
>Write-In

Oh, also roll me a 1d20+3, nearly forgot about studying.
>>
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>347556
>>...Whelp, guess you got a new servant.
>>
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>347556
We got a new servant.
>>
>>347556
>>...Whelp, guess you got a new servant.
>>
>>347560
19+3=22
Great Success!

After some more SCIENCE! You come to a few... Startling things.

First off, that reddish ground? If you stand still long enough, It's likely to turn you into a draconic creature.
Second off, it seems to expand. Rather fast. However, it seems unable to go through sand or solid ice... But expands like a motherfucker if next to water. Which Siberia is.
Third off, over time it emits spores, which starts to gradually containment the environment...
Fourth... In extremely contained zones... It started creating a sort of red crystal... After further research, it seems similar to that of uranium, but highly aggressive, not to mention also sprouting spores. Fuck.

Actions.

>Whelp... Fuck. See if that crystalized shit does anything cool. (Intelligence.)
>...Looks like it's time to start burning down tundra. Get the army mobalized, you gotta stop this before it expands.
>...Shit. Well... Your just gonna... Ignore this.
>Write-In
>>
>>347565
>Whelp... Fuck. See if that crystalized shit does anything cool. (Intelligence.)
>...Looks like it's time to start burning down tundra. Get the army mobalized, you gotta stop this before it expands.
>>
>>347565
We'll science this bitch and then stop it from spreading.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 for SCIENCE!
>>
>>347565
>>Whelp... Fuck. See if that crystalized shit does anything cool. (Intelligence.)
Did we create Tiberium?
>>
>>347579
...Oh my god, I'm having flashbacks of my childhood.
I think you guys might of, holy shit.
>>
Rolled 6 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>347578
>>
Rolled 8 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>347578
>>
Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>347578
>>
>>347587
9+6=15

Failure!

Your research leads you to nothing useful. You destroy the crystal, and mobilize the army. You disperse flamethrowers and gasmasks to the troops. Within a week, you arrive to Siberia.

Actions.

>...Ignore the least infected zones, and move to the more heavy zones to destroy.
>Purge it, purge it all.
>...Leave it alone.
>Write-In
>>
PURGE
>>
>>347592
>>...Ignore the least infected zones, and move to the more heavy zones to destroy.
>>
>>347596
Second
>>
>>347592
>>...Ignore the least infected zones, and move to the more heavy zones to destroy.
>>
Roll me a 1d20-4 to purge
>>
Rolled 14 - 4 (1d20 - 4)

>>347600
>>
Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>347600
HERETIC GRASS
>>
>>347604
CLEANSED BY HOLY FIRE!
>>
>>347604
I fucking set a negative, but it did a plus anyways. Ignore the +4 and please accept my nat 20.
>>
>>347607
The dice syntax needs a + before the - to work right.
>>
>>347608
Ooooh. My bad, then. I've never had to roll a negative before.
>>
>>347604
The dice gods speak clearly
>>
>>347604
OH SHIT
TIBERIUM REMOVERS

COMMAND AND CONQUER DOESN'T HAVE SHIT ON US!


Your men move through the land, purging the grass with the utmost efficiency. Crystals are incinerated, and infected creatures effectively eliminated.

However, the now famous rich and fertile Siberian soil has in fact, become densely populated with minerals... Iron, Diamonds, you name it, you got it. Not to mention, the soil is still as healthy as it was during the infection, allowing farmers to still grow crops on it.

Your men return home, and you return, exhausted from nearly a week of constant FIRE and PURGING.

When you get back, you feel exhausted, and somewhat stressed out.

Actions.

>...Relax with Elizabeth, maybe there is something to that whole "garden" thing.
>Eh, spend some time with your kids.
>See if you can't hang out with Hans.
>Maybe you should visit one of your kids...
>Maybe the Colosseum in Rome finished up... You would like to see one of it's battles.
>Write-In
>>
>>347612
Fuck the shit out of Elizabeth.
That's what the body needs after a week of purging.
>>
>>347612
>...Relax with Elizabeth, maybe there is something to that whole "garden" thing.
>>
>>347612
>>...Relax with Elizabeth, maybe there is something to that whole "garden" thing.
>>
>>347614
I second this.
>>
>>34761
This
>>
You decide to relax with Elizabeth. You find her in the rather small Royal Gardens, sitting on a bench, adoring a deer that has wandered into the gardens. She hears you coming, and turns around.

"Ren, what do you want?"

"Well, I was wondering what exactly you like about gardens?"

She looks over to the deer and points towards it.
"That, is what I like about gardens."

"...You like looking at deer?"

"No, It's what they do that interests me."

"Oh. Couldn't you just go into the forest and look at wild life?"

"I suppose, but I enjoy being here, with you."

"Ah, well, thank you."

Actions.

>...Give her a good tumble right here, right now. (Charisma).
>...Ask if she would like to come back to your private quarters. (Charisma.)
>Ask if she would like to come back to some private quarters... With friends. (Charisma)
>No. Actually hang out with her.
>Write-In
>>
>>347623
We deserve something special for that nat 20.
Tumble with friends.
>>
>>347623
https://youtu.be/ub747pprmJ8
>>
>>347623
Tumble in the forest
>>
>>347624
>>347627
Combine these.
>>
You decide to tumble in the forest... Now however, the true question is... Will your bring friends?

>Sure! (Choose who will come. No limit really.)
>No, one on one time.

...Also, what form?
>>
>>347630
What's the list of people we can invite? We obviously can't bring people from different dimensions or countries, yeah?
>>
>>347630
To be honest I just want to destroy some pussy. Friends would get in the way. Once you are done, sure, bring friends and have an orgy
>>
>>347632
Anyone, so long as it's in your country really.
>>
>>347634
I've absolutely forgotten who's in our country, so let's just say all the females and none of the men because we're a greedy dragon. We can invite them to the afterparty, so to speak.
>>
Alright anons. Looks like that wins, so roll me a 1d20+15 for your wife.
Also, I am not writing this smut, even if I may be drunk. Some other anon can write in.
>>
Rolled 6 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347645
>>
Rolled 9 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347645
We're doing the smallest full-dragon form again.
Somebody might die.
>>
>>347647
>>347648
The dragon is drunk too apparently
>>
>>347650
Roll please. I promise we're not that drunk.
>>
>>347650
I'm sure the modifier will be enough to pull through. Hopefully.
>>
>>347648
Anon, it's only a flesh wound.

>>347648
9+15=24

Overwhelming Success!

Your wife is quite pleased, though also injured.

Now, roll me a 1d20+15 for the rest of the womenfolk.
>>
Rolled 3 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347656
>>
Rolled 9 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347662
>>
Rolled 1 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347662
>>
>>347667
We're going to have to use Barbaric. God damn.
>>
>>347665
>>347666
>>347667
Hahahaha at this point we are maiming our reputation.
>>
>>347667
Rip womenfolk.
>>
So... Uh. Just roll me a 1d20.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>347678
I'm going to cry if we just fucked half our womenfolk to death.
>>
>>347673
I think you already used Barbaric. I think.
>>
>>347682
This is hilarious
>>
>>347684
When? I don't recall using it recently. Maybe I'm just stupid.
>>
>>347678
(1d20)
>>
>>347682
...

10.

Well, shit mang.

You get a tad bit too rowdy with some of the other girls. and your eyepatch was removed. Two have been crushed, and four more have been accidentally devoured in a sexual act that will confound many for years to come. One girl was also shot by a laser beam. Luckily, anyone important has fled safely, though confused.

However, the important thing is that they were just slaves.

However, that still leaves the matter of your eyepatch and inner anger issues. Roll me a 1d20+15 to see how bad your anger issues are.
>>
Rolled 10 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347701
Oh, they were just slaves? Cool.
We're literally God, so we can just forgive ourselves for sinning.
>>
>>347704
>What's a god to a non-believer
>>
>>347704
...The one time high is not good.

10+15=25

Pent up with anger that none of the women besides your wife could withstand your might, you start angrily rampaging, Flames deciding to help out because "Fire is fun!".

Any particular place you want to direct your wrath?

>The fucking Slaves can't even keep up with you! What good are slaves that can't even give a good tumble to you!
>Fucking forest is for elves! Burn it all!
>Fuck Oslo!
>Attack the Elven Ghettos! They had it coming!
>Write-In
>>
Rolled 17 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347701
>>
>>347724
Let's start an elven shoah.
>>
File: d96.jpg (27 KB, 600x600)
27 KB
27 KB JPG
We are slaying it boys.
>>
Elves win.

Now, how are you going to RAMPAGE against the elves?

>Vent your sexual frustrations on them. Angrily. Then eat them.
>Just purge them with divine fire.
>Just crash their shitty buildings down.
>Write-In
>>
>>347738
>vent sexual frustrations on them
That'll teach those knife-eared assholes to keep away from us.
>>
>>347738
>Vent your sexual frustrations on them. Angrily. Then eat them.

Takes the whole "I do not consent" thing to a whole new level, eh?
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+15 for how many elves violated and eaten.
>>
Rolled 5 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>347756
PURGE ELVEN SCUM
>>
>>347738
>>Just purge them with divine fire.
>>
Gonna wait five more minutes for more rolls.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>347756
Maybe in time this time?
>>
>>347770
12+15=27

For a day straight, you relieve yourself by burning, violating, and other wise taking care of the Elven Populace. There are few survivors. Not to mention, you were in full size form that entire time. Of course, the land surrounding the elven ghettos glisten with a new coat of white, red, and severed body parts.

You travel back to your Palace, and take a nap.

You feel extremely relaxed in the morning, and much less stressed out. A servant seems to be hiding behind what seems to be your couch.

"...Don't worry, I've calmed down. Now, what seems to be the problem this time..."

"...It's not that you raped an entire city block and it's populace sir... It's just... The elves are petitioning here."

Your relaxed feelings goes away, and turn to anger.
"I THOUGHT I FUCKING TOOK CARE OF THEM LAST NIGHT!"

You grab a pillow and literally bite it in half.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY PETITIONING ME IN THE MORNING! ELVES DON'T FUCKING HAVE MANNERS OR ANYTHING!"

Holy shit man, you woke me up. Is everything alr-
I AM ANGRY ABOUT ELVES!{/i]
Yeah, ok fuck this I'm going back to sleep. Call me if we need to seduce any more wenches or something.

Actions.

>...But fine. You'll fucking go.
>...Fuck them, your staying in bed.
>Write-In

Also, press F to pay respects to elves.
>>
>>347780
G
Elves deserve no ucking respect.
>...But ine. You'll ucking go.
>>
>>347780
Go.
>>
>>347780
>Update
You're hungry, eat the petition
>>
>>347780
>Go to the petition

>inb4 outraged elven dominion attack
>>
Alright.

You go to the throne room, where a bunch of elves are smelling it up, no doubt.

"Alright, what do you faggoty bunch want."

"Uh, M'lord... We're just here to make sure you don't... Erh. Well. Rape and eat our womenfolk. We brought a petition of..."

You raise an eyebrow, and he cowers.

"N-Not that that's... Bad or anything... It's just.. Uh... Oh Gaia... We don't want to die, ok?"

Actions.

>...Yeah. No. Get the fuck out.
>...Eat the faggoty elf. Then his friends.
>...Hesitantly agree.
>Write-In
>>
>>347797
>GTFO

We're a fucking GOD.
>>
>>347797
>>...Hesitantly agree.
So they're just begging for mercy then? Fiiiiiiiiiiiine.
>>
>>347797
Roast em
>>
>>347797
>>...Yeah. No. Get the fuck out.
>>
>>347804
Second.
We just raped them a fuck ton and they are being nice about it.
No need to antagonize everyone to empower ourselves.
>>