Enslave.

>>341523
>>Enslave the entire town, after all it's probably better living in your world then this one. Also, you do need to commit evil to open that portal.

>>341523
Enslave

>>341523
>>Enslave the entire town, after all it's probably better living in your world then this one. Also, you do need to commit evil to open that portal.

"Alright, listen up. Your coming with me, whether you like it or not. Also, I demand all on-site relocation of butter to directly in front of me."

The village... Cheers for some reason, and gets you butter, and you nod in approval. You feast on the their butter storage, and put them on your back... Now of course, with that done your back is full of humans of varying sizes and ages.

Actions.

>Whelp, time to go through that portal.
>...Maybe ask Richard or your Dad if they want to come back with you?
>Write-In

>>341523
>Enslave the entire town, after all it's probably better living in your world then this one. Also, you do need to commit evil to open that portal.

We should create some sort of rule about slavery that allows slaves to become full citizens. Maybe a certain time working for the Empire, or have their descendants become full citizens.

>>341567
Ask Richard and dad, and force Rosa to go. We need the magics.

>>341567
>...Maybe ask Richard or your Dad if they want to come back with you?
Also ask mother is she wants to come visit.

>>341567
>>...Maybe ask Richard or your Dad if they want to come back with you?

>>341573
This

>>341594
You're in the Legacy Quest thread too, right?

You fly off to your mother's lair, and tell your 1000 slaves to sort of stay out of sight for a while.

Roll me a 3d20+7 for who's willing to go with you.

Rolled 13, 19, 9 + 7 = 48 (3d20 + 7)

>>341603

>>341607
13+7=20
Success!
19+7=28
Good Success!
9+7=16
Borderline Failure

You first visit your dad, who's busy training with a war axe.

"Hey Dad, I'm headed back to Earth, you want to come with?"

He sighs.

"Very well, let me get my things."

You go to your brother, Richard.

"Hey, Richard. I'm headed back to Earth, you want to come?"

"What's an earth?"

"...Right. I'll show you when we get there, I suppose."

"Alright, I guess."

After that, you gather everyone up, which is easier said then done, and head to Rosa's castle.

"Hey, Rosa! Want to come with?"

She looks out from her private bedroom.

"What is this?"

"Erh... I was hoping you'd be willing to come back to Earth with me."

"I am a noble, not to mention a ruler. I am quite busy."

Actions.

>Fine then, be that way. Fly off and go back to Earth.
>You'll come, or I'll crush your little duchy, alright? (Intimidate.)
>Please? (Charisma)
>Write-In

>>341633
>Fine then, be that way. Fly off and go back to Earth.

>>341633
>>Fine then, be that way. Fly off and go back to Earth.
I dont thinkLizzy would like rosa

>>341633
Please?

We really really want the magics.

Waiting ten more minutes.

>>341633
>Please? (Charisma)

>>341633
>>Please? (Charisma)

Whelp, roll me a 1d20+7 to finish off Operation: Sexy Beast.

Rolled 4 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>341649
Making her panties drop for a third time.

Rolled 11 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>341649

>>341596
I am in all quests basically

Rolled 12 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>341649

>>341674
12+7=19

Success!

"...Please?"

Oh shit man, do that thing that Claw does with the eyes!

You do the puppy eye technique to Rosa, and her heart (figuratively) melts. She quickly hops on your back, and you fly back to the portal, which has opened thanks to your slavery and cult.

Actions.

>Sure, go into the portal!
>No, you want to do something else.

>>341674
God bless our meaty dragon schlong.

We're giving her a tumble in dragon form again.

>>341692
>>Sure, go into the portal!

>>341692
>Sure, go into the portal!

>>341697
Scratch that, it's portal time.

I don't think Rosa would survive another tumble like that anyways.

>>341692
>>Sure, go into the portal!

>>341692
>Sure, go into the portal!

You go through the portal, and end up on the other side. Richard looks amazed.

"How far up in the mountains are we?"

"Honestly, not that far up."

You fly back to Stockholm, where Rosa and Richard look around in amazement, and you leave them to it. You calmly go back to your lair, and fall into blissful sleep.

You awake in the morning, your wife hugging you tightly. You try to get up, but she mutters something.

"...Don't leave me alone like that again."

"I was only gone for a few days."

"...I know."

Actions.

>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.
>No, you have things you want to do, get out of bed.
>Give her a good tumble.
>Write-In

>>341730
>>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.

>>341730
>>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.

>>341730
>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.

We should also talk to the kids. The mature quickly and a few days could mean a lot.

>>341730
Tumble your wife and then hang out with her.

Ending voting in ten more minutes.

>>341730
>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.

>>341730
>>Eh... Stay with your wife a little longer, you haven't hanged out with her for a while.

"Eh, sure. What's on your mind?"

"Well, thanks for one, but I was wondering something."

"You can tell me anything, Elizabeth."

"Oh, good..."

She hugs you tightly, and she rests her white draconic head on your chest.

"...Just wondering... Why did you choose me to be your wife? Be honest, alright?"

Actions.

>Well, I thought you were pretty hot. For a human anyways.
>Eh, she had talents you found useful at the time.
>You wanted a claim on her land for your heirs.
>Write-In

>>341776
All of thee above

>>341776
>"You're sweet, beautiful, a good leader, have a nice set of honkers, *under your breath say wanted to get a claim on your land, and I fell in love with you on sight."

>>341776
>>Well, I thought you were pretty hot. For a human anyways.

>>341776
>Eh, she had talents you found useful at the time.
>You wanted a claim on her land for your heirs.
Then end with saying that the primary reason was
>>Well, I thought you were pretty hot. For a human anyways.

>>341789
+1

"Well... You're sweet, beautiful... Hot. Also, it did help that your a good alchemist, and have a claim on England. But mostly because you have rather nice... Tracts of land, which helped me fall in love with you at first sight."

"Thanks, Renexizious." She purrs softly.

She follows up with another question.

"So... Erh, I know your quite ambitious, but I have a more... Personal question."

"What is it?"

"Do you honestly believe in that your God? I mean, I've heard around Stockholm that Catholicism is beginning to refer to you as... Well, God... I'm worried about you, Renexizious."

Actions.

>No, you just do that for increased power over the citizenry.
>...Of course I'm God, what makes you question my divine will?
>No, honestly you worship a different God...
>Write-In

>>341830
>>No, you just do that for increased power over the citizenry.

>>341830
>No, honestly you worship a different God...

>>341830
>>No, you just do that for increased power over the citizenry.

>>341830
>Write-In

"I want to believe there is a god, that he is kind and cares for us but the people need something real. If they want to believe I am god, unless he tells me otherwise, they can continue to do so not that i'll complain about their increased faith in my decisions. Personally I do think there is a god or gods, maybe not of the sort I believe but I don't know and might never know."

>>341830
>>No, you just do that for increased power over the citizenry.

>>341838
>>341840

>>341830
>Write-In
>I don't believe I'm THE God, but I'm starting to think I might be close enough to being A God.

"I want to believe there is a god, that he is kind and cares for us but the people need something real. If they want to believe I am god, unless he tells me otherwise, they can continue to do so not that i'll complain about their increased faith in my decisions. Personally I do think there is a god or gods, maybe not of the sort I believe but I don't know and might never know."

"Ah, so this isn't a power-trip?"

"No, don't worry. It's not."

"Good..." She falls asleep on your arm, and you decide to get some shut eye as well.

It is now midday, and your wife has gotten out of bed. It seems no one has come to get you right now.

Actions.

>Talk to Hans.
>Talk to Claw.
>Talk to Elizabeth.
>Talk to one of your kids.
>You should do a lab experiment, now the question is... With what?
>You know, you haven't gone down to Stockholm recently. In fact, maybe you should tour all your cities to make sure they're working and whatnot?
>Talk to Amaya, your Inquistoress.
>Talk to a cabinet member.
>Perhaps you should change a law about your nation.
>Write-In
>Write-In

>>341869
>Talk to Amaya, your Inquistoress.

>>341869
>>You know, you haven't gone down to Stockholm recently. In fact, maybe you should tour all your cities to make sure they're working and whatnot?

>>341869
>>You should do a lab experiment, now the question is... With what?
It's time for the DRAGON MUTAGEN! Assuming we have the money for it. Else we should try to make one of those Rune Marks that Rosa had.

>>341880
Anon, your only about... $5 million away from actually affording that. So, no.

>>341880
Seconded. For SCIENCE!

>>341869
>>You know, you haven't gone down to Stockholm recently. In fact, maybe you should tour all your cities to make sure they're working and whatnot?

>>341883
Damn. What about Rune Marks, can we try to make one of those?

>>341890
I guess, but without a trained mage it'd be hard to replicate in your dimension.

>>341892
Changing my vote to this then.
>Talk to one of your kids.

>>341883
>>341892
Changing to
>You know, you haven't gone down to Stockholm recently. In fact, maybe you should tour all your cities to make sure they're working and whatnot?
When do we get money next?

You decide to tour your cities... Now, how do you want to do this?

>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.
>You'll fly to each one of your cities, and stomp through it's streets. Sure, you might squish someone or damage infrastructure, but who cares?
>Write-In

>>341902
End of the session, kiddo.

>>341907
>>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.

>>341907
>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.

>>341907
>>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.

>>341907
>>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.
We don't want to have to rebuild Oslo for the third time after all. That would get expensive in the long run.

>>341907
>>Eh, you'll go to each of your cities in a motorcade.

You decide to tour your cities in an armed (and armored, in case any elves get any ideas.).

The first stop, is the Capital City of Stockholm, there, your populace cheers at your public appearance, and a few members of the populace are half-dragons. The populace chants your name as you go throughout the city, which is well-kept, almost no sign of litter, waste, or anything like that. It's unique architecture attracts plenty of tourists, who snap photos of you. Eventually, you get to the slums, and after persuading your driver to drive through it anyways, the citizenry down there are just as loyal and devout as those in the more wealthy sections. You even speak to some of them why they are in fact, poor. Quite a few answer that a lack of factorial jobs and other work contributed to this, and you nod and drive off towards the countryside.
The countryside isn't as patriotic as Stockholm, though plenty of farmers and other workers give roman salutes.

Where will your motorcade head to next?

>Drive to Oslo.
>Helenski.
>Copenhagen.
>Take a boat to Iceland.

>>341935
>>Drive to Oslo.

>>341935
>Helenski.

Stockholm>Helsinki>Copenhagen>Olso>Iceland

Waiting five more minutes.

Also, I forgot about Hansodr.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Whelp, rolling.

1= Oslo.
2= Helenski.

You go up to Helsinki, or whatever they call it in Finnish. The countryside gives you plenty of salutes and praises as you go through, but the city of Helsinki is rather... Unpatriotic. As you parade through it, commoners and workers gather to watch, and there is a notable lack of cheering and patriotism, but a few more drunken Finns actively boo you. However, that is the human populace. The non-human populace gives you salutes and cheers, praising you.

Actions.

>...Drive to the White Death's palace and demand he make the populace more loyal.
>Drive to a different city, you've had enough of this... Unloyalty towards you.
>Write-In

>>341986
>Drive to a different city, you've had enough of this... Unloyalty towards you.

They're just Finns. Such a lack of joy should be expected from them.

>>341986
>>Drive to a different city, you've had enough of this... Unloyalty towards you.

>>341986
>>Drive to a different city, you've had enough of this... Unloyalty towards you.

You decide to drive to a different city.

>Moscow.
>Oslo.
>Hansodr.
>Lativan-Estonian Provinces
>Copenhagen

>>342005
>>Hansodr.

>>342005
>>Lativan-Estonian Provinces

>>342005
>>Lativan-Estonian Provinces
Guess we need to spread some of that wealth around instead of always on mutagens.

>>342005
>Lativan-Estonian Provinces

>>342005
>>Lativan-Estonian Provinces
Have we ever been there? And which son did we send to rule them?

>>342005
>>Lativan-Estonian Provinces

You sent Juilius to rule over them.

You drive your motorcade down to Lativa and Estonia. The populace isn't too loyal, but many people thank you for freeing them from the USSR's rule, especially the older populace. The younger populace however, seems to dislike you and call you a "fascist" and whatnot. Its seems they sadly suffer from the USSR's brainwashing, and a notable lack of infrastructure is known throughout Estonia and Lativa.

>Travel to a different state.
>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.
>...Give a speech to the younger generation. (Write-In on what you want the speech to be about.)
>Write-In

>>342036
>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.
Have we done anything to actually piss them off, other than annex them?

>>342036
>>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.

>>342036
>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.

>>342039
We are fascists but nice ones at that, no camps or anything so chances are it is just their education.

It may be the elves again.

>>342036
>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.
It's an excuse to say hi and see how he's doing.

>>342036
>...Give a speech to the younger generation. (Write-In on what you want the speech to be about.)

>>342036
>>Tell Juilius about the communist education... Though he most likely knows.
>>342047
It's always elves.

You drive up to Juilius's millitary encampment. His governor's housing hasn't been built yet, and you find him inside, reading a book.

"Yes yes, who is it? I am in the middle of trying to figure out the correlation of astrology with pyromania damn it! I demand privacy! Can yo-" He looks up from his book.

"Oh. Sorry about that."

You note that his scales are rather pale, and he seems to... Well. Studious. He is surrounded by countless books, and even his eyes are bloodshot.

"Erh... Have you been outside much?"

"No. Ever since the Paris Expedition I have been studying as much as I can."

"...How did that go?"

"Eh, decently. We had to fight off some undead, I nearly got bit, but Claw saved me, and we even found some ancient Carthaginian corpses and weaponry!"

"That's interesting, I suppose."

Actions.

>Yeah... You should get outside more often. Also, it seems the schooling education around here is rather... Well. Communist. Take care of it.
>Eh, yeah. Just take care of the communist education.
>Write-In

>>342075
>>Yeah... You should get outside more often. Also, it seems the schooling education around here is rather... Well. Communist. Take care of it.

>>342075
>>Yeah... You should get outside more often. Also, it seems the schooling education around here is rather... Well. Communist. Take care of it.

>>342075
>Yeah... You should get outside more often. Also, it seems the schooling education around here is rather... Well. Communist. Take care of it.

>>342075
>>Yeah... You should get outside more often. Also, it seems the schooling education around here is rather... Well. Communist. Take care of it.
Seems they have had some adventures of their own while we were gone.

>>342075
It seems that Emperor-Scientist Julius is more Sccientist than Emperor.

"Well. First off yo need to get outside more."

"Never! I am in the middle of my breakthrough!" He actually hisses, slightly.

"...And you need to deal with some communists."

He sighs.

"Fine. I'll take care of it dad. Now, leave me be. I am much too busy!"

"Alright kid."

You leave, and go back to your motorcade. You can't help but feel slightly concerned for him.

Drive to?
>Moscow.
>Ukraine... For buttery goodness.
>Constantinople.
>Copenhagen.
>Hansodr.
>Iceland.
>Koscovo

>>342095
Moscow would seem like a better spot for Julius. We can always give Latvia to Viktor if he doesn't want it.

>>342098
>Constantinople.
So how's that uh, genocide thing going? Letting bygones be bygones?

>>342098
>Copenhagen.

Where is Hansodr geographically located?

>>342098
>>Ukraine... For buttery goodness.

>>342110
switching to
>Copenhagen
in fear of a tie.

You decide to travel to Copenhagen. Down there, the populace is... Somewhat loyal. Some salutes are given, but otherwise not much signs of loyalty. There is a notable lack of the Dragon Swastika, and not nearly enough banners. It slightly pisses you off. Some members of the populace yell "Swede!" at you as an insult, but those are few and far between.

Actions.

>Talk to the royal family in charge of Stockholm. And see Betrid again, you need them to make the populace more loyal.
>...Continue to a different city. This whole lack of respect is starting to piss you off.
>Write-In

>>342163
>>...Continue to a different city. This whole lack of respect is starting to piss you off.
Whatever. Let's go to Constantinople and see if its fixed yet.

>>342163
>>Talk to the royal family in charge of Stockholm. And see Betrid again, you need them to make the populace more loyal.

Waiting five more minutes.

>>342163
We should go to Moscow. See how the whole dragonifying of the land went. Find out if people have forgiven us for Dragon Bears because they loved actually having plentifull food for once in their comunist lifetimes.

>>342163
>>...Continue to a different city. This whole lack of respect is starting to piss you off.

You decide to go to a different city.

Choices.

>Iceland.
>Paris.
>Oslo.
>Hansodr.
>Moscow.
>Koscovo.
>Rome.
>Constantinople.

>>342163
>Talk to the royal family in charge of Stockholm. And see Betrid again, you need them to make the populace more loyal.


The Finns I can accept such behavior but not this!

>>342215
>>Moscow.

>>342215
>Moscow.

Dragon Bears guys

>>342215
>Paris.
It's such a nice city to briefly visit.

>>342215
>>Moscow.

Rolled 6, 18 = 24 (2d20)

Moscow it is.

Your trip takes you to Moscow.

Ignore my rolling.

>>342217
Actually Danes acting that way to Swedes, and vice versa I can get. All in all I think that visit went fairly well.

>>342235
As your motorcade travels into the Russian countryside, your motorcade notices that there's something in the brush. You turn your head to look, but a series of explosions, and a sudden explosion from beneath your limo sends it onto its side, causing you to hit your head a few times. (-100 HP), and a sudden, and zealous charge from outside, you stumble out of your limousine. You hear shouts of "For mother Russia!" and "This is for the Dragon Bears!", along with "For the Union!"
Great, seems like the Communists decided to attack. You slowly get to your feet, and notice that your men are fighting... Terribly. You also notice that some of the Russian partisans are making a beeline straight for you... It's rather hard to see, and you feel disoriented.

Actions.

>Grab a gun, and hold the line against the Ruskies. It'll look good in propaganda. (Firearms.)
>Alright, time to fuck some communists up. Shift into a smaller sized dragon form so you don't crush your motorcade, but can deal with the commies.
>Stay down, your motorcade can deal with it, right?
>Write-In

>>342262
>>Grab a gun, and hold the line against the Ruskies. It'll look good in propaganda. (Firearms.)

>>342262
>Alright, time to fuck some communists up. Shift into a smaller sized dragon form so you don't crush your motorcade, but can deal with the commies.

>>342262
>Grab a gun, and hold the line against the Ruskies. It'll look good in propaganda. (Firearms.)

>>342262
>Grab a gun, and hold the line against the Ruskies. It'll look good in propaganda. (Firearms.)
And now we only need a communist mage. Ah, it's like old times!

Rolled 14, 1 + 3 = 18 (2d20 + 3)

Roll me a 1d20+1 for firearms.

Ignore my rolling.

Rolled 1 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>342286
No need for the stock, just wing it.

>>342289
oops.

Rolled 7 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>342289
why did you roll

File: Doom.Guy.png (523 KB, 600x638)

523 KB PNG

Wow.

You and your men cannot into guns.

Use Barbaric?

>Yes.
>No

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>342286

>>342304
>Yes.
Well, when everything fails, just hulk out and eat some fuckers.

>>342304
>Yes.

>>342304
Yes

Whelp, roll me a 1d20... Considering that we only use Barbaric on Critical Fails, I'm thinking about ruling that if the reroll fails, the critical failure still applies.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>342324

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>342324
Ok, that sounds alright.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>342324

Welp, Elves have clearly sabotaged our guns.

>>342352
That's another charge to their list.

>>342352
We should just go full dragon. We should ALWAYS go full dragon. Remember the White Death?

>>342358
We've got a lot of health, we can take it. I'd like to expand our skillset more than "eats everything."

>>342332
10

Sorry anons, Critical Failure.

You grab a rifle, and prepare to fire... Until you see something.

"Come, Sasha! You big strong Soviet Dragon Bear, da?"

...Holy fucking shit. That is tamed, soviet, dragon bear.
Your men stop fighting, throw their weapons on the ground, and begin to flee in abstract terror and silence. You turn around!

"Fight you cowards! Fi-"

You hear a mighty roar, which deafens you. You turn around, and you get pounced by the Dragon Bear, (-3000 HP) while the soviets cheer. You cannot shift, thanks to the fact A FUCKING DRAGON BEAR IS IN YOUR FACE OH SHIT OH GOD!

Actions.

>...Try to wrestle with it! (Body, HARD)
>Breathe fire in it's face! Surely, being a DRAGON BEAR it is not immune to fire! (Body)
>Spit acid in it's face! (Body)
>...Calmly pray to God to get you out of this one.
>Soviet Bears are not immune to ice! Breathe ice in it's face! (Body)
>Write-In

So, on a scale of 1 being Not Fucked, to 10 being Get the Lube, how fucked are you?

Current HP: 11,000 (Half-Dragon)

>>342379
>...Try to wrestle with it! (Body, HARD)

8

>>342379
>>Write-In
Transform back into Dragon form and swallow the fuck whole.

>>342379
>Spit acid in it's face! (Body)

We never did carry out that elf genocide did we?

>>342379
I would say 6

>Spit acid in it's face! (Body)

Acid isn't going to fail us!

>>342304
>your men cannot into guns.
the first roll is for our men right

>>342388
>>342388
...Problem is, your fucking panicing and cannot transform into dragon form until you get the giant dragon bear off you.

Also, I just rolled on the Wizards of the Coast website, using dice. And I got a natural twenty on the bear's body check.

Roll anons, roll, roll me a 1d20+15 baby.

Rolled 10 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342401

>>342379

Elizabeth/10

>>...Calmly pray to God to get you out of this one.

Rolled 16 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342401
Die

Rolled 13 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342401
Suck +15 mod.

Rolled 12 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342401
This is what happens anons when we dont just stomp assassination attempts as a dragon.

>>342411
Here's hoping Bear's Body modifier is less than 11

>>342411
16+15=31

Great Success!

You spit acid in it's eyes, and it roars. It comes crashing down on you, and starts ripping and tearing into your arms, breaking them. It also breathes fire into your face, and your start screaming in a mixture of pain, fear, and "oh god what did I do to deserve this".

The soviets have stopped laughing and have surrounded you, and begin to open fire.
Total Health Loss: -7000 HP

Health: 4,000.

Actions.

>Fuck, try to squirm out from the bear's grasp! (Agility, HARD)
>Try to wrestle with it, even if it broke your arms! (Body, VERY HARD)
>Ice! ICE! ICE!!! (Body)
>God... Are you there God?
>Write-In

>>342438
>>Ice! ICE! ICE!!! (Body)
>>342438

>>342438
>Ice! ICE! ICE!!! (Body)

>>342438
>Ice! ICE! ICE!!! (Body)

>>342438
>>Ice! ICE! ICE!!! (Body)
It's time for GENERAL WINTER to work for us.

Roll me a 1d20+15 for Ice.

>>342304
>your men cannot into guns.
THE Communists ROLLED A ONE WHY ARE OUR MEN RUNING

Rolled 9 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342438
...This was a Great success?

>>342476
In a sense, it can no longer see and you can now get out of the fucking way.

>>342469
This guy has a point though.

In both >>342286
And >>342235
Diferent sides rolled lower and yet it was our guys both times that got wreck'd

>>342483
>Diferent sides rolled lower and yet it was our guys both times that got wreck'd
BECUSE OP IS A FAGOT

>>342469
I decided to switch the rolls around beforehand so anons couldn't guess the commies or motorcade's rolls.

Rolled 12 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342452

>>342490
See, this is what I'd call Non-constructive criticism.

>>342492
What diference does it make wether or not we can gues who is who if we get no actions to chose from between you rolling and action post comming out? We literaly can't do anything even if we know that our guys suck, you could just tell in the post to avoid the guy above.

>>342492
YOU JUST DID A FUCKING WATTIE DEATH

>>342507
...Anon, stop channeling the powers of the S.S Salt Division.

Rolled 17 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>342452

>>342507
Not this again. That was not QM's fault, that was people not getting the rules making a fuss about things.

>>342514
NOT WENN IT A FUCKING FACT

>>342515
>>342515
17+15

Borderline Success!

You breathe ice in it's face, causing it to be unable to move. You manage to climb off of it, and stand up, although heavily injuried. The soviets look at you, and their leader seems to say something.
"We'll just call it a tie, comrade?"

You look towards the Russian bear trainer, who's running over to help out Sasha.

"Sasha! Sasha! Speak to me Sasha!"

Actions.

>...Yeah. Let's call it a tie, your really fucking hurting.
>...Shift into Dragon form and finish the soviets off.
>Yeah. No. Grab your gun and finish them off. (Firearms)
>Write-In

>>342514
There is still one (You) waiting for answer that might limit the salt.
>>342502

>>342537
>>...Shift into Dragon form and finish the soviets off.

>>342537
>...Shift into Dragon form and finish the soviets off.
Keep the bear though, we can experiment with it to see how a dragon bear was made.

>>342502
Eh, I'll start doing that from now on Anon.

>>342537
>...Yeah. Let's call it a tie, your really fucking hurting.

>>342537
>Necromance our arms back on.
>Tell the Comunists that they shall now join you in the Most Soviet of all Sports, Vodka Chess, to celebrate you living through wrestling with a Dragon Bear.
>Convince the Comunists that you are in fact the better option for the people.

>>342537
>...Shift into Dragon form and finish the soviets off.
Enough messing around.

>>342537
>...Shift into Dragon form and finish the soviets off.

You shift into Dragon Form.

"May I suggest something? RUN."

The soviet officer quickly spirals around and flees with his men back into the forest.

"Charge in the other direction comrades!"

Actions.

>...Tell Flame to light them up. (Body)
>Eh, you haven't eaten anyone in a while. (Body)
>Demand they surrender and become your slaves. (Intimidate, HARD)
>Write-In

>>342582
>>...Tell Flame to light them up. (Body)

>>342582
>...Tell Flame to light them up. (Body)
>Eh, you haven't eaten anyone in a while. (Body)

We do have two heads now so multitasking like this should be easier.

>>342582
>...Tell Flame to light them up. (Body)
>Eh, you haven't eaten anyone in a while. (Body)
Wonder how charred communist would taste.

Whelp, roll me a 2d20+15.

>>342589
Sounds like a plan, supporting.

>>342589
>We do have two heads now so multitasking like this should be easier.
no it wont it will just meen we get to roll 2d20 and higher chance to roll a one

>>342589
>>342602
+1

Rolled 17, 9 = 26 (2d20)

>>342602

>>342613
shhh... don't give QM any ideas

Rolled 20, 16 + 15 = 51 (2d20 + 15)

>>342607

>>342654
Joining us now is Flames, the best extra head a dragon could ask for!

20+15=35
9+7=16

Hey, big man. Want me to set something on fire?
Why, it's like you can read my mind!
Of course I can, Ren, now, when are we getting to seduce wenches and/or get some more alcohol?
...Just light these faggots up.
You got it bossman.

Flame's head starts setting them on fire, and the terrain surrounding it, and he even throws in a evil laugh, and helps you out in devouring the charred corpses. The men are unable to flee, and quickly burn to death. You must admit, charred communist is tastes rather thin, and rather smokey, but well-cooked on both sides, and with a fiery kick to it as well! Damn, Flames is an excellent cook.

You get your men and scold them for being cowards, and you head back to your motorcade. After a few hours of repair, your on the road again, and continue on.

The countryside is deserted, and seems to despise your rule, as some of the farmers throw rocks at your limo, but are quickly restrained by the Motorcade. You travel into Moscow, and a small protest gathers around the motorcade, and claims of "the Proletariat will rise again, fascist!" and "My family was killed by a dragon bear, you dick!" and "Thanks for the food, your awesome!"... Wait, that really isn't a protest. It seems half of the protestors are in fact, loyal citizenry thanking you for colonizing Siberia. Huh.

Actions.

>Tell Oalaf about the communist attack.
>Tell Oalaf that there's some "elves" outside.
>Eh, continue with your trip elsewhere.

>>342702
>>Tell Oalaf about the communist attack.

>>342702
>Tell Oalaf about the communist attack.

>>342702
>Tell Oalaf that there's some "elves" outside.

>>342702
>>Tell Oalaf about the communist attack.

You go and find Oalaf in the Kremlin, who's apparently talking to some Orthodox priest.

"Oi, it's the big-nosed dragon from Scandanvia! You've come here just in time to meet this ugly little shit who's mother is no doubt a sorry slut indeed."

"Your eminence."

"Eh, shut it you!"

"Oalaf, you do realize that a communist ambush attacked me on the way here."

"Aye, I've been getting them all the time. Can't really keep up with it though, since I have to dedicate most of the soldiers to protecting the food shipments from Dragon Bears, Siberian Dragon Lions, or worse yet, the Mongolians."

"Mongolians?"

"Aye! Those sods in their little shitty fuckin' tents, why, I oughta shove a broomstick up their little fuckin' puckered perfected ass, just so they can get some fuckin' backbone!"

Actions.

>...You have fun with that.
>Alright, I assume you want some more military soldiers sent up here?
>So, what are you talking to this priest about?
>Write-In

>>342747
>>Alright, I assume you want some more military soldiers sent up here?
>>So, what are you talking to this priest about?

>>342747
>Write-In

"Do you want me to deal with them or just to send you some troops?"

>>342747
>Alright, I assume you want some more military soldiers sent up here?

>>342752
Seconded

"So, I assume you want more soldiers send up here?"

"Aye! I can barely manage to hold on as it is!"

You nod.

"So, what's the story with this priest?"

"Eh, ain't much to tell. The priest's tryin' to get me to sell some land to him in exchange for some money."

"Ah. So, do you want me to deal with the mongolians?"

"Wah? It ain't like they be fightin' us. It's just that the little bastards and their little shitty horses keep sayin' we're destroying their little fuckin' plains or whatever, like elven fuckboys!"

"Well then..."

You head back to the limo. You have a few more places to visit.

>Koscovo.
>Hansodr.
>Iceland.
>Paris.
>Rome.
>Constantinople.
>Oslo

>>342784
>Constantinople

Although if we can I choose to go to Kiev. Isn't Ukraine part of our reli as well?

>>342797
realm*

>>342784
>Constantinople.

Yeah, I keep forgetting about the Butterlands.

Waiting five more minutes, and ordering a nice pizza in the meantime.

>>342784
>>Constantinople.
>>342784

I can immagine Mongols getting upity about the fact that all of a sudden grass is trying to eat their horses.

"The grass is all red in here!"

"It's just russians being idiotically comunist, look the horse is eating the grass just fine"

*Horse raises head from the grass, half of it is scaly and the other half seemingly has no skin left on it, few blades of grass still sticking on"

"By father sky, what wichcraft is this!"

You decide to take a ride down to Constantinople. The European part of the countryside seems to be ambivalent towards you, and slightly fearful that you may genocide them. As you enter the city, the populace somewhat dislikes you, and many religious folks bear the Orthodox Cross, and yell out condemning words towards both you and your motorcade. You decide to rest in your palace, which is still going renovations, when you wake up at midnight, you see down in the Hagia Sophia, a crowd armed with torches and anger. However, it seems they hesitate from burning anything, and are just angrily chanting. You can even hear it from the Imperial Palace.

Actions.
>Fly down there in Dragon Form... You will figure out what all the fuss is about.
>Go down there in a different form. (Specify)
>Ignore it.
>Write-In

>>342884
>>Fly down there in Dragon Form... You will figure out what all the fuss is about.

>>342884
>Fly down there in Dragon Form... You will figure out what all the fuss is about.

>>342884
>Fly down there in Dragon Form... You will figure out what all the fuss is about.

>>342884
>Fly down there in Dragon Form... You will figure out what all the fuss is about.

I have a question. If we took enough damage in dragon form, would flames eventually die? Also does Smaug have two heads now?

>>342897
Flames dies when you die. If his head got severed you would soon follow from blood loss, so not really any difference.
If you get over several heads, then maybe, as your heads would have to shrink down to avoid overcrowding.

You fly down to the Hagia Sophia, and the crowd panics and begins to flee, however, a few citizens remain, but their cries of protest are silenced.

Actions.
>Yeah... What's all this about?
>Make Flame's breath fire in the air and demand the crowd to disperse.
>...Eat some members of the crowd, because why not?
>Write-In

>>342916
>>Yeah... What's all this about?

>>342916
>Yeah... What's all this about?
What happens if our main head gets wrecked like the brain getting destroyed? Does our conscience take control of flames head or do we just die?

>>342923
Please note I'm talking about brain damage, nothing big like a beheading

>>342916
>>Yeah... What's all this about?

>>342923
You take control of Flame's head, and basically share a room.

"Alright, what's all of this about?"

"Dragon! We demand recompense for the actions taken by your soldiers during the siege of Constantinople! We don't give a shit about the muslims, in fact thank you for doing that! We just want recompense for the churches burned down!" a rather brave and young priest yells out. Another man whispers in his ear...
"And lower the butter tax please!" You see him shake his head and yell at the man.

Actions.

>...Sure, your willing to compensate for the churches. But not the butter tax. That is sacred for you.
>No, and no.
>Your insolence will serve you well on fire. Flames, light him up.
>Write-In

>>342957
>>...Sure, your willing to compensate for the churches. But not the butter tax. That is sacred for you

>>342957
>...Sure, your willing to compensate for the churches. But not the butter tax. That is sacred for you.

>>342937
Can we get a pool table then?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXRzr1ULNn8
>>342957
>...Sure, your willing to compensate for the churches. But not the butter tax. That is sacred for you.

>>342957
>...Sure, your willing to compensate for the churches. But not the butter tax. That is sacred for you.

>>342973
Sure.

"So... I can do that about the churches but the whole "Butter Tax"... That's a no."

"Told you... We in the Orthodox Church request a total of... Four million dollars, to be donated to church services in order to pay for the funerals, and construction of a new church."

Actions.

>...How about I build the church? I mean, it's not that hard, is it? Then we go our separate ways?
>...Erhm... Why don't I give the Orthodox Church a voice in the government? You can be a... Advisor or something. (Charisma)
>...On second thought, no.
>Write-In

>>343014
>...Erhm... Why don't I give the Orthodox Church a voice in the government? You can be a... Advisor or something. (Charisma)

>>343014
>...How about I build the church? I mean, it's not that hard, is it? Then we go our separate ways

>>343014
>...How about I build the church? I mean, it's not that hard, is it? Then we go our separate ways?
>>343014

>>343014
>...How about I build the church? I mean, it's not that hard, is it? Then we go our separate ways?


You know how we can tunnel? Lets make a huge wall underground church!

"I mean... I could build the church."

"Oh. I mean, that would be interested. I suppose we will allow it, showing humility I suppose."

"That is an... Idea."

We're going to build a church? LET'S DO IT!
You are awfully excited about this, aren't you?
Let's dig it underground! With spikes! Oooh! And also, let's add a lava pool or something! AND SPIKES!

You chuckle softly.
"Alright priest, show me where you want the church to be constructed."

"Oh. Very well."

The priest leads you to a rather small section by the city walls... It's rather empty, and citizens begin to gather to watch you work.

Actions.

>Make a small basement, like a scriptorium for the priests.
>Make a medium basement.
>Make a large basement.
>Make a HUGE basement. It will be a mostly underground church!
>Don't add a basement.

Also, how many feet underground will the basement be? Please put it in feet.

>>343068
>Make a large basement.

>>343068
>Make a HUGE basement. It will be a mostly underground church!
100ft under

Waiting five more minutes..

>>343068
>Make a HUGE basement. It will be a mostly underground church!

At least 100 feet deep. Prepare for the coming apocalypse of nukes, demons and SJW's.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

A HUGE basement it is.

Ignore my rolling.

As you tunnel deeper, you accidentally burrow into... A Cistern? The design plans never said there was a cistern here. The cistern is full, and you narrowly avoided burrowing into it via your underground senses.

You have hit the Rock layer.

Actions.

>Attempt to use the cistern in your design, somehow.
>...See if you can't collapse the Cistern in on it's self.
>Write-In

File: BuildingMap.jpg (19 KB, 770x587)

19 KB JPG

>>343127
Also, design plan.

>>343127
>>Attempt to use the cistern in your design, somehow.

>>343127
>>Attempt to use the cistern in your design, somehow.

>>343127
>Attempt to use the cistern i
design, somehow.
Looks like its getting a giant aquarium

>>343127
>Attempt to use the cistern in your design, somehow.

You decide how you should put it in...

Maybe we could just drain it and use it as a sort of burial area or something?

Actions.

>Drain it out.
>...Try to make a waterfall? (Intelligence)
>Try to use it as plumbing.
>Ignore it.
>You have a specific idea in mind... (Write-In)

>>343154
>...Try to make a waterfall? (Intelligence)

>>343154
>>...Try to make a waterfall? (Intelligence)
oooh.

>>343154
>>...Try to make a waterfall? (Intelligence)

Roll me a 1d20+6 for intelligence.

Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>343185

Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>343185

>>343190
16+6=22

Great Success!

After burrowing the cistern into the sea, then creating a sort of loop, you manage to create a salt waterfall! Of course, now you begin construction on the floors.

Choices.
>How many floors are there? (Can be up to twenty, but then each floor is 5ft, and considered uncomfortable.)
>Any special designs for the basement floors?
>For the above ground, how many feet high should the church be?

File: BuildingMap1.jpg (20 KB, 770x587)

20 KB JPG

>>343214
Also, here's the current design plan.

>>343214
>>How many floors are there? (Can be up to twenty, but then each floor is 5ft, and considered uncomfortable.)
7 floors cause it's a holy number
>Any special designs for the basement floors?
there should be a giant hole in the middle of the floors where the water flows down and pools at a shrine at the bottom
>For the above ground, how many feet high should the church be?
maybe like modest looking as far as monestarys go, like 3 floors? so fourty feet

>>343233
This

File: BuildingMap2.jpg (42 KB, 770x587)

42 KB JPG

With that done, do you wish for any special sort of roof?

>Put a normal roof over it.
>Put a dome and a roof over it, similar to the renaissance churches.
>Put Stockholm's unique architecture here.
>Write-In

>>343280
>>Put a dome and a roof over it, similar to the renaissance churches.

>>343280
Put an onion dome on it similar to other Orthodox structures as a will of good faith to our subjects. Although maybe put just some small dragon statues on in order to decorate it.

You construct the walls, Flame helping out by carefully dropping bricks with his teeth, and so do you.

With that done, the priest is astounded.

"Amazing, it only took you three hours to build this church. God wills it indeed."

You leave, and prepare to visit yet another city.

>Rome.
>Koscovo
>Your tour is over... It's probably best to return home.
>Oslo.
>Hansodr.
>Ukraine

>>343297
>Rome

>>343297
>Koscovo

>>343297
>Rome

I at least want to visit Rome and Italy to see the effects of us overthrowing the Pope, which might be good thing to Italian nationalists but bad to more devout Catholics.

You decide to visit Rome, and you drive through it's lands. Many civillians salute and cheer at the sigh of your limo, and you hear quite a few words in draconic, such as "Glory to you!" Your driver tells you that some more hardcore idealists are speaking Latin... It seems Draconic and Latin are one of the same. Hm. You wave and cheer at the friendly countrymen, and some families gather to salute you. It's rather nice.

As you enter the city however, a more darker contrast, most citizens call you a "false pope" or a "heretic", and the local Crusader Orders mobilize to protect you, alongside the Swiss Guard. You eventually take shelter in the Vatican, and a massive riot is formed outside. Your grandmasters assure you that they will disperse shortly, and soon enough they do.

Actions

>Travel to a different city.
>Hm... Prehaps there is some way to get on their side?
>Write-In

>>343316
>Hm... Prehaps there is some way to get on their side?

>>343316
>>Hm... Prehaps there is some way to get on their side?

>>343316
>Hm... Prehaps there is some way to get on their side?

You start thinking if there is any way to get on their side.

Flames, do you have any ideas on how to get the populace to not lynch us?

Well, you could always call for a "New Roman Empire" or something. I would imagine anything having to do with Rome would sell well with well... Romans.

Actions.

>That's a good idea. Perhaps declare a reformed Roman Empire?
>You could always rampage throughout the city, then convert the survivors. Of course that's really bad for public image. (Body)
>Order reconstruction of the city's past buildings, like the Colosseum or something.
>Write-In

>>343338
>That's a good idea. Perhaps declare a reformed Roman Empire?

>>343338
>>Order reconstruction of the city's past buildings, like the Colosseum or something.
>>343338