>>30226
Get out of bed, full of rage and in possession of a raging piss-boner.

Investigate the cheerful delight.

>>30226
Equip hoodie

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>>30464
>>30485
You somehow manage to both dress yourself, and stumble over to your window, which surprises you greatly. You are now very groggy and your raging piss boner has been covered by your Old-Nasty-Hoodie™

>>30579
Investigate pizza box for least dirty slice. Consume it to gain a buff against light and sound, then push the curtain aside.

>>30632
[1/2]

You investigate the pizza box only to find it empty, and the pizza contents you assumed were strewn out over the floor were actually just pizza shaped growths of mold. you instead opt to eat part of the cardboard pizza box, and gain said buffs.

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>>30897
apparently it didn't send image

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>>30632
>>30897
[2/2]
You ponder the idea of simply going back to sleep now that you've aquired a buff against sound, but say: "eh, fuck it."
the window is now open, revealing it is actually daytime. congrats

>>30944
Identify merry makers.

>>30944
Destroy.

>>30944
Investigate now-silent cheerful delight.

Craft knife with soda can.

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>>31003
>>30974
>>31101
It would probably be pretty hard to destroy daylight, even if time is a human construct, so instead you lean out the window and scan the environment for any good-times-in-progress.
The results are not only an eye-sore, but perhaps a situation in desperate need of drastic action.... Furries
you swiftly craft a Mellow-Yellow can knife using your handy dandy regular pocket knife and proceed to plan out your next move

>>31229
Use your mental abilities to turn the light red.

>>31229
Cast meteor.

>>31229
Gather your inner strength in preparation for your ultimate attack.

>>31229
Call the police and report a BLM protest in progress.

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>>31338
>>31306
You sit in silence, stressing your body out to the max, increasing your strength level as you attempt to jedi mind trick that stoplight. After about 20 seconds you manage to change the light to red. Although it probably just changed on it's own, you don't want to deny yourself the victory.
At any rate, it does little but distract one of the furries, successfully ruining the group photo. congrats, you asshole.

>>31481
Explore room, filling up your inventory with as much as possible.

>>31481
Scowl as you wait for the furry in the road to get hit.

What a jackass.

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>>31514
>>31509
You decide you didn't want the image of a furry getting hit by a car to be implanted in your brain all day. Also the light just changed, so who knows how long it'll take before it turns green again.
You grab as much as you can fit in you inventory, but it appears to be clogged by a rather large pee riddled boner. "Oh right" you accidentally say out loud to yourself.
besides the cock, you now have: A pocket knife, A stale bagel, A half empty bottle of vodka, and a backpack.
also your shitty cat poster appears to be falling off the wall, with something clearly hidden behind it. what now?

>>31703
equipo the backpack instead of having in your inventory ya dingus.

>>31703
Avoid the poster motherfucker.

>>31703
Release raging piss boner onto the furries.

>>31703
Remove the poster to access our secret stash.

>>31774
We can't. We pissed ourselves in anger.

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>>31742
>>31792
Releasing how dumb/drunk you must have been to put you bag into your inventory, you equip it.
Your massive piss-dong has now evened out to a small carrot shape, and has contained itself in one space, opening up the rest of your pretty large inventory.
You rip off the poster to reveal your Super-Secret-Weapon-Safe™

>>32006
Gnaw on the safe's lock until it opens

>>32006
Use the vodka on the hinges. The life-giving nectar will eat through the metal and give us access.

>>32211
Combine with sparks from knife and stale bagel.

>>32006
Unlock your own personal safe that you know the password to, rather than doing something retarded

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>>32343
>>32190
>>32211
>>32248
[1/2]
You don't know the password, unfortunately, because it requires a key.
Against your better judgement you resort to using barbaric problem solving skills to open it....

>>32443
Ascend to higher plane of existence.

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>>32443
[2/2]
.....due to some miracle, it works.
you are slightly amused but more so upset at yourself, because this is what you've become

Inside are 2 unlabeled keys and your shiny never-been-fired revolver

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>32470
Play russian roulette

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>>32493
You make a conscious attempt to end your miserable existence before any more shenanigans can come from it, and stick your brand new revolver into your mouth, and pull the trigger.

it clicks

you don't feel relieved

This continues for 5 more attempts

Looks like you forgot to buy ammunition

>>32557
Guess we'll have to go shopping.

Fuck.

>>32557
Put keys in inventory

Make way out of bedroom.

>>32557
Decide you want to pick up shooting as a hobby, consult /k/ and buy a shitty $600 Glock that explodes in your face.
The end.

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>>32654
>>32577
You stick both keys and the gun into your bag's inventory.
You debate going out and buying some ammo, but you don't have any money

just this credit card of unknown origin.

you also just realize you have never been outside before so you have no clue where to buy ammo from. all your knowledge is based on what you've read on 4chan.

so suffice to say you aren't the brightest person in the room

>>32803
Look around for other person(s) in the room

>>32803
Try to not question what happened to your penis and brace yourself.

You're about to enter the domain of the fucking normies and there will be SJWs everywhere and the jews are controlling everything until The Donald can finally fix everything.

Also >>32821

>>32803
Combine keys in inventory to conserve space. Enter bathroom.

>>32803
Remove your penis to make room for other items

>>32803
We know we live in a time where furries are acceptable in public.
Due to the belongings, character features and traffic signals etc. its fair to say we are western.
We're tooled up so lets venture outward and try to ascertain more.

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>>32821
>>32833
>>32866
you would love nothing more than to adjust your inventory and escape your room, however,
after almost scolding yourself for thinking there'd be anyone else here,
low and behold, there is a confused women wearing a hoodie and a short skirt.

you feel slightly better about your own shitty hoodie.

>>32986
Pick her up and carry her over your shoulder. Become silent protagonist in her presence for here forward.

>>32986
Ask her if you know her like a reasonable human bean

>>32986
Ask for spare change

>>32986
She's probably your lewd little sister like in those eastern comics. Hold her hand and take her shopping.

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>>33012
>>33015
>>33028
>>33098
You attempt to both ask if you've met her, and if you can have some money but it sounds more like "I just met your money"
...
She explains in a panicky voice that she just moved in next door and she wanted to say hi, then runs out your front door.

smooth moves, slick.
what now?

>>33316
Fall in love.

>>33316
Chase her. Intruders must be investigated to the highest pedigree.

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>>33321
Damn, no wonder you never go outside

you fucking pussy.

you collect yourself and resume your shitty shenanigans

>>33433
Inventory the literal sun next to the door, and equip a bottle as a primary weapon.

>>33433
Thus begins our quest to become a normie and befriend cutie.

Let's take a shower.

>>33316
Knock on her door and apologize, say she looks like someone you know

>>33529
And when you do, scope out her room to see if she's as messy as you

>>33529
Also that you're hungover.

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>>33513
>>33529
>>33545
>>33588
You think the best idea would be to first take a shower before you head over to apologize for.... everything she saw..

You open the door to your bathroom

It's a closet

>>33633
Investigate hatch in the floor.

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>>33656
well would you look at that

>>33700
go in but first grab hanger

>>33700
Don't question it. Grab the hanger and get in.

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>>33733
>>33705
hanger in hand, you manage to make it down about 5 steps in before the ladder ends.

You can't see any ground under you

>>33800
Drop the hanger and listen for it landing.

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>>33816
As you ready to throw the hanger down, the revolver slips out of your bag pocket.

4 seconds later, it fires off, allowing you to see that ground is about 20 feet down

>>33904
But you don't have any ammo for the revolver...

>>33904
jump, what are you a pussy?

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>>34008
>>34009
yeah. isn't that strange.


you jump
and you break your leg on impact you fucking idiot

>>34140
crawl to that door

>>34140
limp to the shower

>>34140
Crawl into the ominous hole. Nothing to lose now.

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>>34226
>>34191
>>34199
As wonderful as a shower sounds right now,
there's nothing here but a cavern and another hole.

just your luck, considering how proficient you are at descending them.

you tie the gun to your waist so you don't leave it behind.

>>34367
Look into the secret hole.

>>34367
put the gun in your backpack and descend

>>34367
Fix your leg. You learned how to do it in a thread in /pol/ got derailed when a Swiss posted.

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>>34683
>>34412
>>34391
It just dawned on you that fixing your leg probably should have been first priority.

oh well, your down the rabbit hole now.

It's a seemingly endless fall.

you undo your belt and put the revolver back in the bag. for some reason. to occupy your time you guess

>>34778
Flap your arms around, it may help you to survive. You learned this in a REKT thread.

>>34778
Grab the letters above you and try to use them to stop your descent by thrusting them into the walls.

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>>34830
REKT thread be damned You'll make this work

you grow weary after the first minute of flapping

>>34904
The idea crosses your mind but by the time you stop screaming and consider it, they are gone

>>34971
Use dragon dildo to shoot flames and jet-hover your way down.

>>34971
Combine dildo with leg to make a rather sexual splint to fix your damn leg

>>34971
Land on your broken leg, cancelling out the injury.

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>>35034
>>35068
You try to hover your way down with the dildo that's in your bag FOR SOME REASON...

This is going nowhere fast.

you make a splint with it afterwards

>>35271
Take a nap. It seems this is taking a while.

>>35271
Impale the dildo-legsplint into one of the walls with all of your might to attempt to cease your descent (without freaking breaking your everything)

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>>35297
>>35303
These are both very valid ideas,
you attempt to nod off for a bit, but suddenly,

HOLY SHIT
this is where I'll leave off for the day. Back on soon

>>35693
Smell ya later.

I found more time, new thread here:
>>36336