A Dark Souls quest, inspired by thelegendaryp's The Wild Bunch videos>Who are the Wild Bunch?: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7CjbXxDvrzNFi21syIJS5jzuAWmPVmGg>Recap: http://pastebin.com/Uam3q9uk>Character Sheets: http://pastebin.com/7QaUBscN>Previous Thread: >>209682You are Smitty Werben, the versatile swordsman at the very left of the picture. You are accompanied by four other undead who are close friends and fellow warriors on the same journey you are: Escape the expanded Lordran after it merged the different worlds into a single continuity.>Jagermanjensen (FUCK YOU BACON. GRAVELORDS RULE.)He's the bro at the middle, your right-hand man with a mean left hook. He's the heavy hitter of the group and a devout Gravelord. Somehow managed to steal a Dark Hand.>Bacon Bits (With a side of ranch dressing.)The dude on the very right with the spiky helmet. He is a deft flanker who carries the sting of a hornet and is adept at close combat.>Dragon Shit (RAWWWWRRR.)The obvious draconic humanoid beside you and the group's wildcard. He wields a huge arsenal of random equipment and can breathe fire in a pinch.>Greg (hey. i'm greg.)Last one to be pointed out, at the middle-right. He is terse, soft-spoken and tanks like a castle. Big guy, even for you.------------------------------------------------ [s]Strikethrough test[/s] ------------------------------------------------------>>220808>>220861>(Tealah and Gurhen) Find an alternate entrance and sneak inYou ask Greg and Jagermanjensen to lift you, Tealah and Gurhen up onto the ledge on top of the doorway. Dragon Shit and Bacon Bits are told to barge in should anything go wrong. Afterwards, the three stand on the roof and quietly stride your way towards the nearest wall. The novices' Balder Sets give them some agility while you have to drop your Uchigatana and Grass Crest Shield to lessen the load. At a closer look, the windows are too small and gated to infiltrate. You look to your companions for options."Hey, you see that glass dome over there?" Tealah points out, "It seems broken, maybe we can drop down through it and give them a surprise attack.""But there's a good balcony over here that is sure to lead through an entrance." Gurhen replies.>(Tealah) Climb towards the broken canopy and enter through the roof.>(Gurhen) Follow the balcony>(Smitty Werben) Write in
>>226951>>(Tealah) Climb towards the broken canopy and enter through the roof.
>>227510Despite its age and mossy covering, the bricks in the wall remain firm after such a long time. It's still a bit of an awkward climb, you're more used to ladders than navigating architecture. Eventually you reach an amber dome with stained glass designs about things you don't care about. You peer through the opening and see a wooden floor...that's it. It's not even that far of a jump"Well that's sorta dumb," Gurhen remarks, "normally this should be in full view of the chapel audience."Maybe the architect went hollow while designing this one.>Drop in silently>Drop in loud (engage WoG)>Wait a bit in case someone passes through>Go back
>>227775>>Drop in silently
>>227946There are a couple of empty, broken cupboards along with a few tables and benches. There is a barrel at the corner of the room but it is also empty. There are two exits on two corners of the room. They lead out into parallel hallways that overlook the main chapel area.>Hide somewhere in the room>Wait for a bit>Go through one of the hallways
>>228142>Hide somewhere in the roomWith TealahFail to resist urge to molest.
>>228329>>228419>"Let's hide in case someone got suspicious from our entry."Gurhen hides in the one cupboard with working doors, the other is busted open. Meanwhile, you and Tealah hide in the barrel, which only contains a few sheets of cloth for some reason.Being in incredibly-close physical contact to her makes your Sunlight Blade grossly incandescent. You slip one of your hands under her Balder Armor to grope her torso while the other reaches through the skimpy waist cloth. Her flesh is a whole lot more tolerable as a human now."H-Hey...quit it," Tealah whispers but you ignore her protest.Her breathing picks up as you start rubbing your fingers on her crotch slowly. Your other hand starts gently fondling her surprisingly-soft breasts."We can do this later, now's not the time." She's no longer whispering yet she still maintains a quiet tone.Your constrict your arms around her, bringing the two of you even closer."S-Stop it..."She unintentionally jerks a limb, causing the barrel you're in to rock slightly and make a sound.You hear a muffled voice that sounds vaguely like "Who's there?"The two of you freeze in place, trying to avoid any further commotion that might expose your position. You hear armored footsteps.>Remain silent until he leaves>Write in
>>228614>Remain silent until he leavesBut keep our hands completely still, in their current position.
>>228654You can hear Tealah's breathing as you wait for the other guy to leave."I told you to stop.">"But I did.""Not like this."You hear the armored footsteps move away from your position and the words "...getting too hollowed for..."The cupboard doors creak open and Gurhen quietly steps out, saying "I think the coast is clear, let's sneak out.">Climb out and move on>Stay inside the barrel
>>228814>Stay inside the barrel
>>228814>Stay inside the barrelThe lewd train can't stop.
>>228866kek Not for that reason, man
>>228872I know. I'm just being silly.
Okay, before I actually go through with Rookie's first first-person smut, can you redirect me to any quest here that has accomplished actual, written lewd prose? I don't want to be the first guy who ends up exiled to Mount Olympus for his transgression.Also, because I need a good dose of "inspiration" because I have no idea what I'm doing.>captcha: place longchamp
>>228924If I recall, theres some thread series by the name of "Greentext". Its pretty funny but it includes a harem so, by my divine deductive ability, I can only assume that it contains what you ask for. And Mt. Olympus is supposedly the home of the Greek gods, the tallest mountain in Greece, and a resort area. Not to bad a place to be exiled to.
>>228924Its not very refined though. I recommend you write like its lesbian sex, yeah?
>>228948>>228954>>228963Yes I've seen that one, the smut there is relatively tame and silly, detail-wise. I was thinking more of fapfic-like prose instead of greentext summaries. You know, like the stuff I just did (except more explicit)
>>228986>>217051I'm not sure if you're familiar with this quest, but the smut was done well enough. I couldn't fap to it though due to the sad backstory.
>>228999That was a little wierd for me, man. Did he just engage with a woman or a machine?
>>229146 Literally both.
>>228999(I see, I'll do what I can then)>>228856>>228866(I can't into smut)(just imagine me tossing I'M SORRY carvings while you read this)>"Give us a few minutes, this barrel is tighter than we expected and we're jammed here pretty badly. Can you stand watch while we try and squeeze ourselves out?""You got it, boss." Gurhen affirms. He proceeds to ready his Shortsword and stands near one of the doorways.You immediately continue teasing Tealah before she can say anything.>"Try to keep quiet, he can't take everyone on."Your hand switches focus to playing with her nipple, which begins to stiffen from the stimulation. She stifles a moan as your other hand slips into her underwear to caress her now-moist pussy. The cramped space inside this barrel makes it impossible to adjust yourselves into a proper position. You'll save the hot dickings for another time, at least she will get something out of this."J-Just...make this...quick" Tealah mumbles between breaths and whispered moans.Her limbs go limp as she gives herself up to your pleasuring hands. You grab hold of her breast, kneading it and rubbing her nipple with your palm, while simultaneously inserting your fingers into her pussy. After what feels like several minutes, she curls up and orgasms. She quivers yet tries her best to remain in place, hoping to avoid reenacting the earlier commotion. After a moment's pause, the two of you emerge from the barrel. Your right gauntlet appears to be missing and Tealah looks exhausted while carrying a small, faintly-soaked sheet of fabric, taken from the barrel's contents.She shoots you a glare and quietly says "Next time tell me beforehand so I can adjust my expectations.">Crouch/crawl and sneak into the hallway to spy on the lower floor>Run into the hallway, jump down from the railings and unleash the WoG>Write in
>>229409>Crouch/crawl and sneak into the hallway to spy on the lower floorYou did good. Your smut-game is more on point than you think it is.
>>229418You drop down to the floor, lying, as you enter the hallway. Then you carefully crawl further to get a better view of the main chapel hall through the stone railings. The place looks better kept than the last chapel due to the further distance from Firelink (and the steady supply of undead adventurers). There are lit candles at the candle stands and near the base of the walls. There's even an intact chandelier connected to the ceiling.Down below stands another Channeler and a masked priestess with a clean robe. Around them are four hollows wearing rags and equipped with improvised weapons like knives and pitchforks. The two non-hollows appear to be having a conversation."Are you sure four hollows is enough? They're not even that well-equipped.""That's why you're here, to help support their defense.""And if they fail?""I'll get you out of here.">Drop down and release the WoG>Keep going until the end of the end of the hallway, onto the platform>(Gurhen) Shoot the chandelier's chain connecting it to the ceiling>(Gurhen) See if there's someone to snipe from the other end of the hallway>Write in
>>229491>>(Gurhen) Shoot the chandelier's chain connecting it to the ceiling
Rolled 1 (1d3)>>229784You motion Gurhen to shoot at the chandelier's chain. He quietly stands up, aims carefully, and pulls back the string on his Long Bow. After a brief pause he fires a standard arrow that cuts the chain halfway through. The chandelier swings from the disturbance and the hunter crouches quickly to hide again. Fortunately the ceiling decoration doesn't seem to be the kind that carries jingling glass. One of the hollows notices its movement and points up."Oh, the hollow seems to be entranced by the chandelier.""Typical, they're as dumb as Dung Pies.">Wait for the chandelier to snap by itself>(Gurhen) Fire another shot>Toss a Fire Bomb at it>Write in
>>229838Disregard the roll, that was an error on my part.
>>229838>>(Gurhen) Fire another shot
>>229838>(Gurhen) Fire another shot
>>229842>>229871>(whispering) "Keep going, Gurhen."He repeats his earlier attempt and manages to sever the chain with a nice snapping sound."What's that noi- ACK!"The metal chandelier crashes down on top of the priestess and Channeler. It doesn't immediately kill them, however, and instead pins them down. Two of the four hollows did get killed though."My leg!" the priestess cries out, "My leg is broken!""Can't....move..." the Channeler says with a groan.The loud commotion signals the rest of the group, who are waiting outside, to barge in–weapons drawn. They quickly dispatch the two remaining hollows.>"Over here!"Jagermanjensen and Dragon Shit waves at you, and you wave back at them. An unseen fifth hollow, holding a spear, runs towards you from the other end of the hallway but Tealah kills it easily.>Finish off the two individuals>Spare them for interrogation
>>229883>Spare them for interrogation
>>229883Kill channelerGive the priestess to Dragon Shit to rape while Bacon Bits interrogates
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>229886>>229889Going once, going twice...
>>229901I'm just guessing dragon shit is the rapiest, by the way
>>229889>"Bacon, wipe out that Channeler. I'm going down and I don't want to let him get away again."While you, Tealah and Gurhen walk to the other end of the hallway and down the staircase, Bacon Bits finishes off the immobilized Channeler with a Dark Silver Tracer through the chest. The priestess recoils in horror but her movement is pained and stiffened from the chandelier sitting on top of her. Then you regroup as the two teams form back into one bunch. Dragon Shit hands you your equipment that you dropped earlier."P-P-Please, don't kill me," pleads the scared priestess."Relax, we're not gonna hurt you," Bacon Bits says reassuringly, "Unless you try to fuck us over, then this barbed sword goes up your ass.">"Let's get her out from under that chandelier before anything else though."Greg, Dragon Shit and Jagermanjensen work to wrestle the tangled, metal mess that used to be the chandelier while Gurhen tries to drag the priestess away to a safer spot after removing her mask. The draconic humanoid rips open her skirt with his bare hands(?) and examines her legs. As it turns out, she has a dislocated knee and some wounds of varying severity. Greg has something to say about the former."Nothing I can't fix."Like a stone-cold badass, he yanks the dislocated joint back together and making the priestess shriek in pain. There's still the matter of her wounds, though.>Try to perform first aid>Pour some Estus on it>(Dragon Shit and Greg) Take her back to Firelink Sanctum>(Jagermanjensen) Cast Great Heal, localize it to her injury
>>229972>>Pour some Estus on it
I'm going to sleep, sorry for the disappointment. I'll see you in 8-10 hours after this post.
>>230037You retrieve your Estus Flask and pour the ethereal, amber liquid fluid over the open wounds. The priestess shudders and reacts as if she is given antiseptic. Alas, nothing else happens. The amber fluid evaporates but the wounds remain the same for the most part."That's strange," Jagermanjensen notes, "Normally it should fix her wounds unless..."He caresses her face with his left hand, a Dark Hand, and a peculiar sensation causes him pull back."I see. She's completely human."The priestess looks around her fearfully, saying that she doesn't want to die.>Kill her and hope she turns undead soon>(Jagermanjensen) Drain her humanity>Write in
>>231164>Bring her alongWe'll use our excellent recruiting skills to convince her.
>>231164>>Write in"Shit lady, you're crazy." Then perform first aid on her leg.
>>231304"Me? Crazy? B-But you're undead!" says the wounded human who thought it was an excellent idea to have an adventure in a place where death is charitable.>"Tealah, did you nick any more of the cloth in the barrel?.""Yeah, I thought it could be useful."She hands you a couple of cloth sheets taken earlier. You rip it into strips which you use to bandage her wounds. Hopefully this should be enough for now. She is in no condition to stand, however, and must be carried around.>>231214You try to offer the priestess a spot in your group, but she's incredibly reluctant."I don't know, I'm not supposed to be hanging out with undead...yet here I am."She puts up her jazz hands and makes an offer, "I was perfectly fine with my deceased acquaintance until you came along. Just let me go and we'll never bother each other again.">Let her go, let her go// Into the abyssal maw, off you go>Take her to Firelink first THEN let her go>Nah, we're keeping her>Write in
>>231627>>Nah, we're keeping her>into the abyssal mawIs that a euphimism 4 something?Ask her what her evil plan was
>>231627>Nah, we're keeping her
>>231634>Is that a euphimism 4 something?Jaws of death>Ask her what her evil plan wasYou decide to keep the priestess around for interrogation as you intended earlier.>"So, what's up with you hanging out with the creepy Channeler dude, huh?"She initially refuses to answer but changes her mind after Bacon Bits makes a menacing gesture with his Barbed Straight Sword. The comically-scared look on her face just sells it."O-Okay, I am hail from foreign lands as m-my services were hired. I was supposed to watch out for undead who didn't head towards the Undead Burg."She curls up on her position and cowers, "Please, don't hurt me."Hmm, foreign lands. Looks like we have a destination.>>231655>"Alright you're coming with us then."The priestess looks around her and considers her options. Due to the amount of people who can kill her in an instant, she concedes to your demands."...very well. Just keep me alive. I don't want to catch the Darksign or anything."Her legs are in bad shape for walking so you get Greg to carry her over his shoulder.>Put the priestess down and stay here for a short while>Head towards the main cathedral of the area>Head towards the "east" chapel>Head back to Firelink>Write in
>>231755>Put the priestess down and stay here for a short while
>>231824Greg looks puzzled at you but goes along with your decision anyway. He gently lays down the priestess onto the floor this time a fair distance away from the broken chandelier and nearer one of the candle stands."What now?" he asks.In the background, Tealah yawns while Dragon Shit pokes the Channeler's corpse with his finger.>Loot the corpses of the Channeler and the hollows for something useful>Placate the priestess' mood with some chatter>Change your mind and leave her behind>(Gurhen and Jagermanjensen) Send the two on a brief exploration outside this chapel>Write in
>>231873>>Loot the corpses of the Channeler and the hollows for something useful>"Placate" the priestess' mood with some chatterDid you know the Dark Sign is actually transmitted sexually?
>>231873>Placate the priestess' mood with some chatterBut also >Loot the corpses of the Channeler and the hollows for something useful
>>231908Everyone except for you and Jagermanjensen sifts through the corpses for items to use.ITEMS OBTAINED:>Channeler's Trident>Set of the Channelers (the robe requires repair, however)>Broken Straight Sword>Pickaxe>Four-Pronged Plow>An unlit Torch>A mysterious, silver pendant with six engraved eyes and a bronze chain"Yo boss," Gurhen calls out, "She's also wearing such a pendant">>231888>fucking tripsYou kneel beside the sitting priestess and put your arm over her shoulder. You notice that Gurhen's claim is correct, there is such a mysterious pendant around her neck.>"Did you know the Dark Sign is actually transmitted sexually?"Tealah is visibly puzzled from your statement but says nothing while Jagermanjensen gleefully backs you up."Completely and absolutely true, that's how I got mine during my birthday."Had it not been for the cloth obscuring his face, his shit-eating grin would've given the lie away/"W-What lewdness!" The priestess is visibly flustered, "That sounds too preposterous to be true, and what would I even gain from receiving your affliction anyway?">Write in
>>232062>"Well, you're reborn after death. Not to mention you can party like a fucking boss."
>>232062>>A mysterious, silver pendant with six engraved eyes and a bronze chainArtorias?
>>232105(who knows, this is Lordran with an EXPANSION PACK)>>232086"But at what cost?" The priestess asks worryingly, "Turning ugly and losing your mind is a terrible prospect."Tealah stands mockingly in front of her, with a hand on her waist."We undead have our ways to cope with life and they're arguably much better than yours.">"Besides, an undead has a much easier time recovering from injuries than a human. Just look at how much trouble fixing your leg is. Miracles notwithstanding."The priestess pauses in contemplation, then remembers something. Still too weak to stand, she raises her arm and presents her pendant."But then I will be left vulnerable to this. Truth be told, it only works on hollows so far but I heard from the sorcerer earlier that they will perfect this in due time."Tealah realizes something. "So that's why the hollows never went after you.">Keep trying to convince her>Ask for more information>Write in(gonna take a break for a couple of hours)
>>232255>Keep trying to convince herBye for now, QM.
>>232288>double dubs>"Look, if you turn undead, you'll have our full support. We'll back each other up and treat you like part of the family. Isn't that right, guys?"The priestess looks apprehensive and further contemplates the situation. Eventually she gives in to the peer pressure."Alright, I...might as well."The group celebrates, Bacon Bits and Tealah high-five each other while Greg and Gurhen shake hands. Dragon Shit praises the sun in the background. From the corner of your sight, Jagermanjensen beckons you to walk over to him for some private discussion. He seems somewhat uneasy."Hey, Smitty, I know we're best of bros even before Lordran turned out like this but, uh, I got a little favor.">"Sure, what is it?""Heh, it hasn't been a day in this cycle and already you're scoring chicks left and right..."His voice gradually becomes softer and quieter. He starts twiddling his fingers from nervousness."So, uh, Mr. Ladykiller...think you can, y'know, h̶̷o̶̷o̶̷k̶̷ ̶̷m̶̷e̶̷ ̶̷u̶̷p̶̷ ̶̷w̶̷i̶̷t̶̷h̶̷ ̶̷a̶̷ ̶̷p̶̷r̶̷e̶̷t̶̷t̶̷y̶̷ ̶̷g̶̷i̶̷r̶̷l̶̷,̶̷ ̶̷t̶̷o̶̷o̶̷?̶̷">Agree to help Jagermanjensen>Give him the priestess>Share Tealah>Refuse
>>232679>>Give him the priestessAlso tell him not to double post if he can help it.
>>232684>Give him the Priestess
>>232688(sorry mang, that other post I made with my trip off)>>232691>"I already have."You point towards the priestess, who's having a conversation with Tealah right now.>"It's her.""You're kidding, right?" Jagermanjensen says in disbelief, "This human right here?">"I'm serious about this, besides, she looks like a nice lady who could use a champion once she goes undead.""Well, she does seem...kind of cute...in a meek, protect-able sort of way."After a momentary pause, he gives you a brief bro-hug. You can hear him saying "Thanks, man" before letting you go and walking back over to the priestess."I hope that man's kidding about the thing with the Darksign," the priestess implores to him, "There's probably a more formal way to arrange this. Like a ritual of sorts.">(Jagermanjensen) Help her stand up and walk>(Jagermanjensen) Bridal carry, go!>(Jagermanjensen) Engage "Gravelord Gravesword Dance">(Smitty Werben) Write in
>>232808>>(Jagermanjensen) Bridal carry, go!CONSUMMATE! CONSUMMATE! C'mon Tealah, say it with me.CONSUMMATE! CONSUMMATE!
>>232812>>232808Shit, I change my vote to >(Jagermanjensen) Engage "Gravelord Gravesword Dance"If that's a euphemism for fucking her.
>>232808>(Jagermanjensen) Bridal carry, go!
Rolled 2 (1d2)(Oh shit I just noticed my typo, oh well)>>232819>>232826It all boils down to "Are we gonna fuck now or later?"
>>232826"There's only one way to find out."Jagermanjensen kneels down and carefully picks up the priestess in a bridal carry. He adjusts his footing for a bit while she reaches towards his face and pulls down the cloth mask. She is pleasantly surprised from the sight of his face, probably isn't expecting an undead to be attractive."So, uh, where are you taking me?" she asks."Adventure," the knight answers with a hopefully-charming grin, "So what's your name, fair maiden?""Renalyn, Priestess Renalyn."You have to admit, he's handling this pretty well.>Head to the "east" chapel>Head to the main cathedral>Return to Firelink Sanctum>(Jagermanjensen) Upstairs(pardon my lackluster updates, I'm just not feeling it today)
>>232955>>Head to the main cathedralTime to do a double marriage with Dragon Shit presiding.Renalyn to jaegermanjensen.Tealah to Smitty Werben.Greg and Gurhen can get a civil union.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>232965>>232968Let's see how this turns out.
(pardon the delay, I had to google cathedral layouts and images so I don't look like I'm bullshitting this)>>232968You walk out to the spacious courtyard, it seems as desolate as ever despite the antiquary decoration (e.g. statues and altars) littering the area. There are only a couple of unremarkable, sword-wielding hollows. They approach you with no apparent hostility and seem lose interest once in coming any closer once they're 10 meters away from Renalyn due to the mysterious pendant's effects. You still slay them anyway, pesky hollows.The cathedral is -huge- now that you're approaching it. The shape is largely blocky and angular, with several "pointy bits" at key locations to give the structure a more imposing visage. The large, faded banners display vague silhouettes of possible deities and lords, some of which seem new to you. There is a lofty belltower jutting out from the roof, the structure's so tall you can't tell anything else below the sight of large bells. There are multiple entrances, two on the side and (presumably) the big main entrance around the corner."I see...something!" Gurhen alerts, "I think it's a gargoyle!"The hunter points to a flying shape at the sky, you only get a second's glimpse before the cathedral obscures it. Good to know some things remain despite the changes in the world.>Head through one of the side entrances (choose manner, e.g. barge in with weapons ready)>Go through main entrance (choose manner)>Fall back to the "south" chapel>Retreat to Firelink
>>233128>>Go through main entrance (choose manner)Dude carrying the chick bridal style kicks down the door while everybody else does flashy, cool poses framing him as we enter making an excellent tableau for the movie poster.
>>233150The group maneuvers around the cathedral's perimeter to reach the grand, main entrance. The eight of you are greeted by a large pair of nicely-engraved doors depicting armored knights facing each other, around which is an archway with statues and engravings. You find that the large doors cannot be kicked down so you opt for a better and flashier alternative.>"Stand back, guys, we're gonna have something amazing.">Cast Miracle: Wrath of the GodsThe doors fly off its hinges as a powerful, divine force blasts it away and revealing the squad it was concealing.You are crouching down, hands in the air just after casting your miracle. Behind you is Jagermanjensen, carrying Renalyn. Beside you is Bacon Bits and Greg, both brandishing their weapons. The former is holding his Chaos Blade in a menacing, ready-to-kill stance while the latter just thrusts his straight sword upwards. Tealah and Gurhen are in one end of the group, doing their own poses, while Dragon Shit is at the other, doing the "Well, what is it?" gesture which NEVER gets old.On the receiving end of such a bombastic entrance is...a scantily-clad adolescent person wearing severely-torn rags and stupid-looking yellow bandages completely-covering the head. They are holding a ladle.>Go in for the easy kill>Ranged attack towards the face>Restrain and capture>This is a ripoff, walk past it or go somewhere else>Tread cautiously, this is a serious opponent>Write in
>>233258>Restrain and capture
>>233264You and Greg run towards the figure, which remains unflinching despite your advances. Upon one mere touch they dissipate into nothingness. Well ain't that a cheap trick, you got fooled by an illusion. A convincing one, perhaps, but an illusion nonetheless.>Enemy is still here, be on your guard>Enemy is long gone, let's move upwards
>>233326>Enemy is still here, be on your guard
>>233342>>233343>"Careful, the enemy's hiding around here."Jagermanjensen carefully sets Renalyn down near the entrance and stands guard near her. The rest of the group make wary steps further into the cathedral nave, the footsteps echoing through the open area. Aside from the eight of you, there doesn't seem to be anyone else in sight. Bacon Bits notes that place looks relatively gorgeous, at least for an abandoned and neglected place of worship.>Call out the enemy>Look for them the hard way>(Jagermanjensen, Greg) Flush them out with spells>(Dragon Shit) Unequip Dragon Torso Stone and lure with sculpted bod>Advance anyway, enemy must've moved on>Write in
>>233479>(Jagermanjensen, Greg) Flush them out with spells>(Dragon Shit) Unequip Dragon Torso Stone and lure with sculpted bodWhy not both?
>>233481Dragon Shit moves to the cathedral's crossing and unleashes his sculpted, primeval body like earlier...to no effect. After almost a minute of fruitless waiting, you switch to plan B.>"Okay, fuck this shit. Everyone, clean this place up."Greg starts tossing Great Fireballs while Bacon Bits throws Fire Bombs all over the place. The wooden pews and cloth decor catch fire. Gurhen starts firing arrows at the upper balconies and a stray Fire Bomb ends up there, igniting the possible wooden crates that obviously litter every square inch of Lordran. You hear muffled sounds of pain and panic as a Channeler falls from the upper floor face-first onto the burning furniture. He cooks for a little bit before casting a teleportation spell and saving himself from a fiery death."T-That's enough!" a youthful voice shouts.A strangely-unlit wooden crate turns into a puff of smoke, revealing two short figures with hooded robes and porcelain masks. Realizing their means of escape gone, they look around in panic before running towards you.>Poke weapon forward so they run into it>Push them back into the fire>Write in
>>233538One of the figures casts a puny Soul Arrow, a spell too wimpy to make you even flinch. You accept the minor damage and dive-tackle the sorcerer to the floor. The other one tries to jump over you but trips when you raise your lower leg. The rest of your team regroup and ready their weapons to make mincemeat of the two fools should they continue trying to escape.>Kill them now>Ask questions (specify)>Unmask>Write in
>>233575>UnmaskWe must check to see if they are females.
>>233601(I did not mean to roll that one, it was just me being stupid)
(reposting minus dice rolls)>>233585>>233588The flames continue to persist in the background yet you pay it no heed. Your attention is on the sorcerer in your arms who tries pushing and shoving your face away. You reach for the porcelain mask and see a rather young, androgynous face with cerulean eyes and silver hair that covers the forehead. You lunge forward and grip the person's throat to decrease resistance while telling the others to unmask the remaining sorcerer.(roll 1d2, both of you)
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>233601
>>233604Waiting for g5zUh4bt, if he doesn't post in 15 minutes at most, I'll take the other roll.
Rolled 2 (1d2)(15 minutes have passed, the fate of the other sorcerer remains)You try to be careful with your hands and avoid choking the sorcerer too hard, who tries to mumble something."Okay...you...win...already..."You release your grip and the captive gasps for air.>Interrogate>Cop a feel>Write in
>>233637>Cop a feelIt's for purely scientific reasons, I swear.
>>233644The sorceror's breathing stabilizes after coughing a little bit. You're pretty sure this person is also human, just like the other two souls who have been hanging out with the Channelers. You shift one of your hands to grip the shoulder tightly and notice the mysterious silver just like the one Renalyn is wearing.>"Aren't you a bit young to be hanging out here, human?""Oh yeah? Aren't you- HEY!"Your other hand moves to grope the crotch area for a brief moment. You sigh in relief from feeling empty space where a pair of Lloyd's Talismans should be. Maybe you can play Miyazaki Matchmaker with your team after all. You shove her down to the floor and tell Bacon Bits to make sure she won't try anything funny. You stand up and walk over to the other sorcerer who's dangling by the arms under Greg's hold."Nnf, let me go you big oaf!" The voice sounds a tinge higher-pitch and more innocent.>"Don't mind me Greg, I'm just fooling around.""Okay."You repeat the procedure and feel lack of a suspicious bulge. The action elicits a startled "Eek!""W-What are you doing?">Put the twins together>Interrogate (choose topic)>Take their items (especially their pendants)>Write in(I almost forgot what I set for the numbers, but earlier my accidental roll had me thinking "Shoot, anons got traps"—enjoy the flat magic twins)(I'm gonna call it quits for tonight, see ya'll in 8-10 hours, or maybe less)
>>233681>Recruit them See you later.
>>233686Personally, you're not too fond of magic users back in your timeline. Cheaty assholes always spamming their dumbest spells away from a good fight. It's why you went out of your way to obtain Great Magic Barrier. You feel for that Havel guy, perhaps he still exists here one way or another. You still need all the help you can get, judging from the changes you've seen in Lordran so far, you assume you'll end up against six gargoyles in the belfry or something.You grab the collar of the sorcerer on the floor and get her to stand alongside her twin, who Greg puts down. Now that they're standing side-by-side with their hoods down, you get a closer look at their faces and compare them. The one on the left, whom you were grappling earlier, tries to bear a determined expression with sharp eyes. There's a linear scar running diagonally across her face. The one on the right has a more rounded pair with differing colors, the one on the right is amber in color. She looks around nervously. These youths probably ran with staves or had accidents a few times before.>"Alright, how about an offer? You join us and we won't immediately kill you.""But you're an undead," the right one says, "We're not supposed to hang out with you."Renalyn waves at the twins with a cheesy smile, "How do you do, fellow humans? Remember me? From the orientation?"The one on the left recognizes her and protests, "Y-You! You're hanging out with them? But they're undead!">Continue trying to persuade them yourself>Let Renalyn talk to them>Write in
>>235239>Let Renalyn talk to them
>>235239>>Write inPsst, Greg, you can have the twins.
>>235252You move aside and let Renalyn take the reins."Sit down, kids, and let's talk."The serious one refuses, "No way, why should we even follow?""Do you even know what you're doing here?""We're supposed to stop the undead from reaching the bell." the other one answers."And do you even know -why-?"The twin sorcerers look at each other for a moment."Because the trident dude told us that bad things would happen if we let any undead pass through here.""What sort of things?"They have no answer to the priestess' question."And do you really think the two of you can stop anyone? These guys didn't even face you in a direct fight and already you're defeated. If they actually tried, you two would be gutted like fish and I'd be mourning how bad you two are. How about you stop being stuck-ups and come along?">"Yeah, we don't have all day. Plus, the fire's dying out.">Reassure>Threaten>Offer>Write in
>>235296Oh man, I'm sorry, I was more than halfway done with the writing when you posted.
>>235379>Reassure"We're the good guys. Promise."
>>235389It's all good.>ReassureWrite inPsst, Greg, you can have the twins
>>235407"You...promise?" wonders the meeker twin.>"Yes, we're not as malicious as other people say. We're just people...who just so happens to auto-resurrect and suffer a tiny bit of dementia each time we do so."Renalyn backs you up, "Look, you don't have a choice. Actually, you do. You can stay here until you get slaughtered by the next undead who knows what he's doing OR you can come with us and find out why we humans are being sent as junior guards or something.">"Plus, everyone's on an adventure these days. It's all the rage."The sorcerer twins mumble in unison, "...fine.">>235408You walk over to Greg for some bro-to-bro whispering. His bulky Giant Armor makes it rather awkward to sling your arm over his shoulder so you opt not to.>"Psst, Greg. Those twins? All yours.""What?">"I'm saying that I'm pairing those two sorcerers with you. Everybody needs a partner nowadays.""I'm not good with kids."You slowly walk away, grinning.>"Well too bad, they're your responsibility now. They're not -that- young, anyway.">Wait until the last of the fires die out, then move upwards.>Exit the cathedral and head to the "east" chapel>Write in
>>235574>Wait until the last of the fires die out, then move upwards.We may as well get to know our recruits a little better.
>>235574>>Wait until the last of the fires die out, then move upwards.Might as well explore for completion of nothing else. Might find Lautrec too
>>235598>"So, now that you're officially part of the Wild Bunch, tell us your names so I don't have to call you Pickle-Pee and Pickle-Plum.""I...I'm...uh...""She's Aura and I'm Aurum, we're from...somewhere far away.">"I see, well, welcome to the group and here's your complementary partner."You, somehow, manage to drag Greg over in front of them.>"Meet Greg, he's a big guy with a lot of loyalty. Now go give him a hug or something."He leans away presumably from shyness. You look behind him and see that most of the flames have died out. Perhaps enough to traverse the hall and find a staircase or something. Most of the cloth, like doilies and curtains, have turned to ashes while charred cinders, some holding embers, replace what used to be the wooden furniture. The floor is charred black from the inferno and there's still lingering heat but hopefully nothing that could deal harm to the humans.>Move to the next floor>Do something else (write in)
>>235803>Move to the next floorAlso, hold hands with Tealah.
(pardon the delay, just doing research)>>235822>"Alright, the coast is clear, might as well move on."Jagermanjensen picks up Renalyn in a bridal carry again. Although her wounds have stopped bleeding, she prefers to play it safe until she can exert strain on her legs again. The ten of you walk past the smoking chars that used to be the cathedral's furniture. The twins are staying behind Greg, hoping that he will protect them. They seem to be unnerved by Bacon Bits and Dragon Shit. Meanwhile you position yourself beside Tealah and stealthily slip your hand into hers. She gasps softly for a bit then looks at you with a warm smile.The trip upstairs is largely uneventful aside from a linger smell of burned wood. The hallway's railings are charred black and there's nothing left from the broken crates that are salvagable since its contents were incinerated earlier. Eventually you reach a door, which surprisingly remains undisturbed from the earlier arson. You ask the twins if they've been here earlier and they shake their heads. Going past it, you reach what could be a dormitory or something. In the middle of the area is an ornate cabinet with holy markings and behind it is a painting of an unfamiliar saint. There's a ladder leading upward. Some of the nearby rooms have beds while one has a large table.>Keep going, up the ladder...somehow>Rest for a while in one of the rooms>Start looting the containers inside>Write in(out for lunch, be back in two hours)
>>235958>Start looting the containers inside
>>235978The group shufffles through cupboards, tables, under the beds, cabinets and even behind the painting. There aren't much findings aside from several outfits.ITEMS OBTAINED:>Divine Blessing x3>Black Set>Cleric Set>Holy Set>Maiden Set>Ivory Talisman>Repair Powder x2>A keyring of unfamiliar keys>"Huh, it's something.">Move upwards>Go back down>Rest for a while>Write in
>>236097>>Black SetWhat set is that? Does it make it so we don't do nothing?And isn't the "east chapel" the one with Andre and the titanite demon, and a bonfire in it?
>>236101>What set is that?Kick-ass pardoner outfit>And isn't the "east chapel" the one with Andre and the titanite demon, and a bonfire in it?Might as well, considering this cathedral houses the belfry up top
>>236097>>Move upwardsWe need to clear out this cathedral and turn it into our own Outer Heaven.
>>236150You step on the ladder and prepare for ascent when Jagermanjensen calls out."What about Renalyn?">Bring her up anyway, we'll figure it out>Leave her behind, we need all the strength we can get>(Jagermanjensen) Leave her behind, but watch over her>Leave her behind, but get someone else to watch over her
>>236178>(Jagermanjensen) Leave her behind, but watch over herWe'll let them have some "personal time"
>>236178>Leave her behind with J and Trogdor.
>>236187>>236190Trogdor's there, but away, just making sure nothing sneaks up, as in he's out of the cathedral. Assuming they go to the first floor.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>236187>>236190Lessee if we leave Dragon Shit behind
>>236190>>236205>"Let her recover in one of the bedrooms, stay by her side so she doesn't get lonely. Dragon Shit, meanwhile you go back down and keep watch of possible intruders. The rest of you, brace yourselves.""Alright, thanks."Jagermanjensen carries the priestess away, while Dragon Shit runs out into the charred balcony before jumping straight down. Meanwhile the remaining seven climbs up the ladder onto the next floor. You see a wide, empty attic with a missing roof and most of the walls gone. On the other end is another staircase that leads up to the belltower."And there's the bell," Bacon Bits points out, "I'm surprised no one else has traveled here before.">"Because something's stopping them, look over there."There's a single Bell Gargoyle just standing in the very center of the floor. It appears to be interacting with an armored knight of sorts.>Charge in>Range attack>Start buffing>Attempt sneaking past it>Retreat
>>236228You draw your Uchigatana and cast Sunlight Blade on it. Greg munches on some Green Blossom. Bacon Bits applies some Gold Pine Resin on his Chaos Blade. Aurum casts Magic Weapon on his Mail Breaker."Are we really gonna have to fight that thing?" Aura asks nervously.Gurhen tries to reassure the young sorcerer, "Relax, we can take 'em."You all start moving out of cover, into the gargoyle's plain view, weapons drawn. The armored knight takes notice of the batch of intruders and...hitches a ride on the gargoyle's back, readying a crossbow. You prepare to engage but notice two other shapes somewhere in the distance sky. Suddenly two other gargoyles fly into view, each with their own rider and wielding different weapons. They make a quick, rough landing beside the first one, etching the floor slightly with its claws.--------------------------------ASSIGN: (you can choose someone to not engage anyone at all)>Smitty Werben>Greg>Bacon Bits>Tealah>Gurhen>Aura>AurumEnemies:>Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Mace and Halberd)>Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Sword and Lance)>Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Spear and Crossbow)
>>236262Smitty and Tealah take on the first gargoyle, Bacon Bits and Gurhen take on the second, and Greg and Aurum take on the third one, while Aura hangs back with support magic.
>>236262>Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Mace and Halberd)Smitty & Tealah>Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Sword and Lance)Greg & Bacon Bits>Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Spear and Crossbow)Gurhen, Aura, & AurumThe Team dealing with the crossbow gargoyle can also span projectiles at the others as needed, but will primary be having a ranged duel with the gargoyle's rider. When a team kills their respective gargoyle, they should reinforce the other two teams.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>236634>>237340Although similar, there are some subtle differences in the two inputs
(I notice that the thread has hit autosage but I'm not gonna start a new thread yet, judging from my recent experience of delaying my other quest's 6th thread after reaching the 3-thread limit enough times)>>237340The third gargoyle leaps off the platform then glides to perch on the ruined roof behind you. Its rider fires a shot, but the crossbow bolt flies heavily off-course and lands in front of Greg's foot, probably a warning shot. The first gargoyle slams its mace down as a menacing gesture. Only Aura seems affected by it.CHOOSE TACTICS:Smitty Werben [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Mace and Halberd)]>Continue using melee (Reckless/Moderate/Careful)>Cast Wrath of the Gods>Cast ReplenishmentTealah [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Mace and Halberd)]>Wield Longsword in left hand (Reckless)>Hold Balder Shield in left hand (Moderate/Careful)Greg [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Sword and Lance]>Continue using melee (Reckless/Moderate/Careful)>Switch to using your Whip>Use Pyromancy (Great Combustion/Great Fireball)Bacon Bits [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Sword and Lance]>Wield Barbed Straight Sword in left hand (Reckless)>Hold Black Knight Shield in left hand (Moderate/Careful)>Circle around, focus on the tailGurhen [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Spear and Crossbow)]>Continue using Long Bow>Use ShortswordAurum [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Spear and Crossbow)]>Continue spamming Soul Arrow from a distance>Close in, use Farron Flashsword and Mail BreakerAura only has one feasible, unique option which is automatically chosenOther Options: (can apply to anyone)>Focus on the Gargoyle>Focus on the Rider>Draw attention and defend>Draw attention and dodge>Use items>Write in
>>238070>Use WoG>Hold Shield>Use Pyromancy>Focus on tail>Keep using bane>Keep spamming and draw attention
>>238967Tealah grips her Balder Shield tightly as the gargoyle lunges at her. The blow staggers her greatly, and the gargoyle's rider prepares to strike with his halberd. You rush in, Canvas Talisman in hand, and push her out of the way. You bank sharply to one side and narrowly avoid the dropping blade. You swiftly cast your only offensive spell–Wrath of the Gods–and knock the rider off his mount with a blast of holy force. The gargoyle is also staggered by it, which Tealah takes advantage of with a lunging stab at its forearm. The monster swats her aside by trashing its arm.You'll have to rely on your (buffed) Uchigatana for the rest of the fight as you have just spent the last cast of you WoG. The earlier two were spent on the heavy knight and blasting the cathedral doors open, respectively.--"Come here!" Greg loudly yells, spreading his arms to draw the second gargoyle's attention. In his left hand is a Pyromancer Flame where his shield would normally be. He opens his arms and takes a few bold steps to taunt the enemy. The monster drops down and its rider readies his lance. Just before it charges, two swift strokes interrupt its concentration. Bacon Bits has circled around it and is hacking away at the monster's tail. It moves around to turn towards him, giving Greg an opportunity. He tosses a Great Fireball at the gargoyle rider then moves towards his mount's face to roast it with a Great Combustion.The gargoyle and its rider has their attention split between the two.--Aurum can't let the third gargoyle and its rider set their sights on her twin sister while Gurhen is too busy taking aim with his bow. She grits her teeth and waves her arms to draw attention."Hey ugly! Over here!"She fires a Soul Arrow to punctuate her point, hitting the gargoyle in the wing. It jumps from the broken roof to lunge at her but she rolls out of the way. However, she's not an acrobat and ends up sprawled over the floor, looking up to see its rider aiming the crossbow at her. A heavy soul arrow hits him in the back of the head, interrupting him from delivering a coup de grace."Get away from her!" Aura shouts while trying to cast as much of her spells as she can.Aurum protests as the gargoyle turns around, the visage of impending pain paralyzing her twin. A flying arrow lands in one of the slits of the gargoyle's helmet, causing it to trash around and loosening the rider's bearings.(1/2)
>>239240UNIQUE OPTIONS:Smitty Werben [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Mace and Halberd)]>Continue using melee (choose manner: Reckless/Moderate/Careful)>Cast ReplenishmentTealah [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Mace and Halberd)]>Continue fighting moderately>Stop attacking and raise shields>Wield Longsword in left hand and go all-inGreg [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Sword and Lance]>Continue casting Pyromancies>Switch to using your Silver Knight Straight Sword and Wooden ShieldBacon Bits [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Sword and Lance]>Continue slicing the tail>Climb and attack the rider directly>Focus on killing the gargoyle firstGurhen [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Spear and Crossbow)]>Aim for the gargoyle>Aim for the rider>Switch to shortswordAurum [Bell Gargoyle and Rider (Spear and Crossbow)]>Stand up and increase distance>Stand up and move closerAura is petrified in fear.COMMON OPTIONS:>Use items (some characters might not have // only have access to certain items)>Write in
>>239247What items are available?
>>239249Items that could be used right now:>Purple Moss Clumps>Green blossom>Throwing Knives>Firebomb (two left)>A Black Firebomb>A couple of satchels filled with weird gem-like stones. They shimmer faintly.>An unlit Torch>A few Divine Blessings>A couple of Repair PowdersEXCLUSIVE TO:[All undead characters (i.e. not the twins)]>Estus Flask[The original five (Smitty, Greg, Bacon)]>Lloyd's Talisman>Humanity[Tealah]>Prism Stones x21
>>239274>>239247>Keep moderate melee>Raise shield>Continue Pyro>Keep on tail>Aim for rider>Closer
>>239335>"Tealah! Just keep defending yourself, I'll deal with the rest!"Tealah and fully braces herself to intercept blows from the first gargoyle's mace. Meanwhile you put up your Grass Crest Shield and make a couple of slashes here and there. You notice the rider clambering to get up and rush to his position.>"Nah, fuck you. Enjoy your death."You kick him down and repeatedly slash until he stops moving. At that point the glow from the Sunlight Blade has worn off. You turn back and see Tealah knocked to the floor and the gargoyle raising its mace for a killing floor. A Throwing Knife doesn't really do much but you toss it anyway to draw its attention.>"Hey you! 1v1 me like last time."This is just like the old days, except you have the upper hand. What, with your fully-upgraded Uchigatana, fast roll, prior experience; that monster is as good as dead. And sure enough, it goes down after a prolonged engagement. You walk over to Tealah and help her stand up."Thanks, I owe you one."----Greg lets loose another Great Combustion, causing the second gargoyle to stagger back from the fire...right into Bacon Bits' range. He continues to slice away at the tail until it fully severs in a deft stroke. The gargoyle loses balance and an explosion from a Great Fireball causes it to stumble towards the ledge. Another Great Fireball seals its fate by making it stumble and fall off. Dragon Shit will take care of it. The rider, however, sees it coming and jumps from his mount right before it falls off. Too bad he is standing too close to the ledge and is easily staggered into joining his mount on the ground.----Aurum stumbles up, ducking in time to avoid a large spear wildly sweeping across the air. The third gargoyle's rider is having difficulty aiming his crossbow as his mount is still reeling from the pain of being hit in the face. He still tries aiming his crossbow at Aura but Gurhen fires an arrow that hits him in the hand, making him drop his weapon. The sorcerer considers using Farron Flashblade but decides that it is too risky for her and opts to continue firing Soul Arrows at the rider. The sight of the gargoyle's moment of weakness snaps Aura from her fright and fires a Heavy Soul Arrow that drives the gargoyle in a state of panic. Eventually it scampers off and jumps from the ledge to fly away. The sudden upward momentum causes its weakened rider to loose his grip and fall."Alright!" Gurhen cheers, "We routed that one!">Stay on guard>Enemy has fled, celebrate
>>239568>Guard up, the enemy is never tuely gone
>>239569>"No, it's too early to celebrate. Keep your guard up."The group tenses up and prepares for another attack. Moving warily towards the the bell."There's something over there!" Gurhen points out.Up in the clouds, a faint figure is darkening fast. It's the third gargoyle, very quickly approaching the platform at a steep angle. It crashes onto the floor at a desperate attempt to sweep you all to your deaths.Roll 7d6Order: Smitty, Greg, Bacon, Tealah, Gurhen, Aura, Aurum>1 - Character is outright killed from the blow OR is swept off the ledge and Dragon Shit fails to catch him/her in time>2 - Character is alive but severely injured OR is swept off the ledge but Dragon Shit catches him/her in time>3 - Character is hit but is not swept off the ledge, suffers minor injuries>4 - Character manages to dodge/block the attack>5 - Character completely avoids the attack by virtue of not being close enough>6 - Character not only avoids the attack, but saves someone else (in case anyone else rolls a 1-3).Death wouldn't be that much of a penalty to the undead characters (they'll just disappear to the next bonfire or get back up) but the human twins...
Rolled 2, 4, 5, 2, 4, 2, 4 = 23 (7d6)>>239587oh boy.
Rolled 3, 3, 2, 6, 3, 3, 4 = 24 (7d6)>>239587
>>239630(I'm gonna choose this one because of the higher "result" roll)The rampant gargoyle dives onto the open platform as a last-ditch attack. The entire floor quakes, parts of which crack from the impact. The immense momentum causes the gargoyle to skid across the platform and fall off the ledge. Due to the self-damage it sustained, it is either dead or too weak to fly again—where Dragon Shit will finish it off.Aurum manages to duck in time, while Tealah tackles Bacon Bits to protect him from being hit in the face with a stray wing. You are slammed into a, thankfully-intact, section of the wall and receive a mild concussion. Nothing an Estus swig can't solve. Greg manages to block a severe blow but his Wooden Shield isn't doing him favors. It's amazing how it hasn't broken apart yet and he insists on using it to keep his fast roll. Gurhen is tripped by the gargoyle's tail and...that's it. He's okay even though his legs hurt. Lastly, Aura the meek human sorcerer is skidding across the floor from the strong gust of wind created by the impact. Her twin sister rushes after her."Sister, are you okay?" Aurum asks in concern."I-I'm fine, I just scraped my knee, I think."(Time for a cliffhanger. I'mma call it quits until next thread, which should be after several days since I need to cool off and focus on other things. I have a twitter if you're interested in keeping track: @guardtemp)(In the meantime, I dunno, discuss things or such. I've been winging it recklessly so far)