Character Sheet (Please read if you do not know the rules, or are new, so you don't disrupt the game... Or call me a faggot.)https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/editPrevious Thread (Please Archive)>>215125Strawpoll:http://www.strawpoll.me/10404438Please do this, so I can actually judge if Renexizious is religious or not.Last time, we attempted to fight the White Death, realized that the fucking Finnish are badass, we also realized that snipers are really, really fucking hardcore against soft targets, such us in human form, yelled at the OP for being a faggot, Renexizious died (but didn't?), then OP went full /pol/ack after getting drunk after the anons raged anyways after receiving mercy, because they were too edgy to live, and the newfags were cleansed. We also learned that for some reason, we cannot shift to Draconic Form. Which is obviously connected to our deathOn further note, watch yourselves around /qst/ dice, they've been bloodthirsty for a few days nowAlso, going to attempt to use further text formatting, such as different colors to mark when characters talk, just for ease of reading.You stand in the middle of the street, snow falling around you. Below you, is a puddle of your own blood, now frozen over. The White Death is no where to be found, and you are both tired and hungry... You have a few ideas of where you could rest.ActionsCurrent Form: Half-Dragon>Burrow underground and wait for morning.>Find a peasant's house and request to rest there for the night>Sleep in the streets.>Track down the White Death, and end him. (Agility, VERY HARD)>Write-In
>>225019>Take the long trek back to the palace
>>225019>Burrow underground and wait for morningthis is my first time playing so if i did it wrong please tell me
>>225033Your green text works yes
Going to wait about ten minutes and that's when voting will end.
>>225019>Take the long trek back to the palaceI mean, they may think we're dead. Gotta show em we're not done yet
>>225019>Burrow underground and wait for morning.
Alright, so >Take the long trek back to the palace wins.I'm considering this a 1d20+9 as a body check, and the -2 is from missing an eye.
>>225083Let's go find out if there's such a thing as healing magic.
Rolled 15 + 9 (1d20 + 9)>>225093whoops.
Rolled 10 + 9 (1d20 + 9)>>225093We already healed ourselves technically but doing so further might kill us
Rolled 14 + 9 (1d20 + 9)>>225083
>>225100No, I mean actual good healing magic, not magically animating this organ/bone so it doesn't need to live. We're showcasing the limits of necromantic healing right now.
>>225118Careful anon, those are the kind of words that cursed that other anon to roll only ones in the last thread. Necromancy Stronk.
Interesting.>>22509815+9=24You travel far... Days go by, and your eye doesn't really help you too much in the art of seeing where you are going. You hunt deer in the woods, hoping to out-endurance them so you have SOMETHING to eat. However, you never feel full, even when you've eaten a small herd of reindeer.Eventually, you arrive outside of Stockholm, at midnight. Avoiding the glance of civilians to see their Emperor like this, you walk inside to the Imperial Palace, where your lair is, and you sneak into the dungeon.Along the way, you notice your scales took on a darker contrast, and your previously bright white scales have become pale grey, and the black spot on your chest has expanded to most of your torso. However, other than that, it has had no effect.Actions>Attempt to study the reason you cannot go into Dragon Form. (Intelligence)>Study why this black mark has no effect on you now. (Intelligence)>Study why you are always hungry now... (Intelligence)>Study on how you actually survived... (Intelligence)>Write-InAdditionally...>Call down Annita to help study with you.>You do not need her help.
Rolled 4 + 9 (1d20 + 9)>>225124Can we change into our dragon form? No?
>>225126>Study why this black mark has no effect on you now. (Intelligence)>Call down Annita to help study with you.
>>225126>>Attempt to study the reason you cannot go into Dragon Form. (Intelligence)inb4 dragon zombie.
>>225133Nope, you died and were locked out of it for some reason. You traveled the way in Half-Dragon form, which has limited wings, but cannot fly across the fucking Baltic ocean.
>>225126>>Attempt to study the reason you cannot go into Dragon Form. (Intelligence)>Call down Annita to help study with you.We need to get back to full strength as soon as possible. Being a nine-story-tall dragon was our greatest asset, we're super weak right now.
>>225126>all intelligence checks in top-down preference
Whelp, roll me a 2d20+2 now.>Cannot Go Into Dragon Form studying wins.First roll is Annita's studying.Second roll is your studying.
Rolled 4, 15 + 2 = 21 (2d20 + 2)>>225149
Rolled 11, 15 + 2 = 28 (2d20 + 2)>>225149
Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225149
>>225126>Study on how you actually survived... (Intelligence)Hey OP, do you have a twitter where we can follow in case you make a new thread and such?
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225149My bad it was 2
Rolled 4, 1 + 2 = 7 (2d20 + 2)>>225149
>>225157It's @QuestingQMI just realized I didn't post that, thank you.
>>225159Mama Mia!>>225160It's a spicy one!And for Renexizious, none the less...Writing.Pic slightly related to how I feel right now.(In case your new, criticals are nearly always prioritized, no matter where they are)
>>225173So ren got a 20 AND a 1? Do they cancel out so we get 15, or are shenanigans about to occur?
>>225177I think she got the 20 and we got the 1. It's no biggie, we just try again.
>>225182No, man, the anon that rolled the 20 rolled a 12 first, then the 20 because he forgot to add a second d20 to the field. That 20 was for us.
Anitta's Studying11+2=13Minor Success!Renexizious's Studying1+2=3, 20+2=22Critical Successful Failure!?!You open up books and start studying. You call down Anitta to help out with you. After explaining (some) of the situation to her, she agrees to help you.That's when you find a strange book in the corner of the room... It is not labeled, and it was never in your room before... It has countless notes sticking out of it, with strange writing not similar to that of the pages... In addition, a faded signature reads that of "Gy-", but the rest of it is too faded to read, not to mention the mysterious P on the left side of what seems to be the front, and plenty of letters faded away on said front and back.>Read it!>Strange books in corners are best left alone...
>>225198>>Read it!Seems legit
>>225198>Read it!Knowledge is power.
>>225198>Yup Wes is readin dat shit.
>inb4 the "Gy-" was "Gygax">inb4 it's just a first edition DnD book
>>225198>We /lit/ now.
>>225258We were /fit/ for the first five threads, it /lit/ time now
You delve into the pages... Attempting to find out what this book is, and what it does...It nearly seems the ramblings of a madman, numbers, letters, and strange numerical tables and in addition... You can barely make sense of it, it is so crammed of numbers and other mathmatics, it seems to be a guide to a certain mortal activity... Called, "Dungeon's and Dragons". You'd read further... Perhaps this is a book that will give you helpful decoration advice? But time is of the essence, and you must find out why you are unable to transform into dragon form.You have recieved: First Edition D&D Player's Handbook.Anitta eventually calls you over, and tells you that she might have an answer."What is it, Annita?""I think I have a theory on why you are unable to transform.""What is it, then?""Well, it seems your soul might require time to heal... If it is true that you have been shot, and that the rumors that dragon's have gargantuan souls are true... You might have to wait a month or two before you are able to." She sets a book down on the floor."Damn it! Is there anyway to speed it up?""Well, I suppose if you improved yourself and dedicated it towards re-attuning your soul, you might be able to take flight once more, Renexizious."Actions>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)>Read that Dungeon's and Dragon's book you received.. (Intelligence)>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)>Travel to Stockholm!>Talk to Hans>Talk to Brother Reinhold>Talk to Anitta>Talk to Claw>Study your death further... (Intelligence)>Talk to one of your Concubines>Write-InDays until marriage: 3Days until Dragon Form re-attuned: 40also>>225212DAMN YOU ANON FOR REALIZING THE PLOY!
>>225267>>Read that Dungeon's and Dragon's book you received.. (Intelligence)>>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
>>225267>Read that Dungeon's and Dragon's book you received.. (Intelligence)>>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
>>225267>Study your death further.This and only this. Get our snout to the grindstone.
>>225267>Study your death further.
Whelp, roll me a 2d20+2, first is for how autistic you are and the second one is for studying shit.
Rolled 20, 14 + 2 = 36 (2d20 + 2)>>225293
Rolled 10, 12 + 2 = 24 (2d20 + 2)>>225293
Rolled 13, 10 + 2 = 25 (2d20 + 2)>>225293>>225297We clearly are able to min/max like a motherfucker
>>225297Holy shit anonrenexizious has grade A+ dragon autismwriting...
>>225297We used a nat 20 to learn D&D instead of learning about why we DIED.The fucking Dice Gods, man.
Renxizious and D&D20+2=22Critical SuccessStudying your Death14+2=16Success!You read madly through the Player's Handbook. You understand all of it. It is simple, in fact, even a plebian could simply see that if you play a wizard your overpowered... Now, if you took this, and that...For the next few hours, you learn how to play D&D and shit. You are fucking PUMPED.Problem is that probably no one here plays D&D... Soon...Turning your attention to more... Important subjects, such as the details of your death, you eventually uncover that after considerable study, you eventually discover that you are in fact, undead. However, the extent of how well... Undead you are, is to be seen.Actions>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)>Persuade your allies to join you for a D&D game tomorrow... (Charisma)>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)>Travel to Stockholm!>Talk to Hans>Talk to Brother Reinhold>Talk to Anitta>Talk to Claw>Study your death further... (Intelligence)>Talk to one of your Concubines>Write-In
>>225338Hey, for all we know DnD is legit magic in this universe. Gygax could've been a fuckin Archmage or something>>225339>Persuade your allies to join you for a D&D game tomorrow... (Charisma)>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
>>225339>Study your death further... (Intelligence)>Persuade your allies to join you for a D&D game tomorrow... (Charisma)
>>225339>>Study your death further... (Intelligence)Let's not bully our subjects thanks.
>>225339>Study your death further.Absolutely not the second option.
>>225339By the way, new skillsMinmaxing: 3D&D Player: 2and D&D DM: 2
Waiting ten more minutes
>>225360>Minmaxing: 3So long as this applies to more than just DnD, that's actually pretty useful
>>225339>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+2 for this
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225377>>225377
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225377
Rolled 10 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225377
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225377>>225382Of course.
Rolled 14 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225382That's what we get for ignoring DnDIs it just me or is this quest suffering from more crit fails than any other? We have the WORST luck.
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225377
>>225346That would be a hilarious twist. Seconding your actions.
>>225382I think the dice gods frown upon you guys not being autistic and doing D&D...
Rolled 18 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225388We've also made a lot of stupid decisions.
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225394Not really, though we totally should've stayed full dragon form for fighting someone instead of relying on agility which is our WORST stat. But you've gotta admit we've rolled a LOT of ones. I mean, last thread alone had what, 4 or 5?
>>225392>The Dice Gods don't want us to become the Dragon Ruler of Mankind.>They want us to play Dungeons & Dragons instead.We have already lost.
Rolled 10 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225382must. get. nat. 20.?
>>225402>our child has to take over the empire because Rex is more interested in playing D&D than he is in run the country
>>2253821+2=3Critical Failure.You... You can't ignore it. You're too PUMPED to not want to fucking do D&D. But you need to know why the fuck you died. Then, you accidentally run through the book you were studying with your claw. Shit. That was the only book you could use to study your death.You order your servants to bring you a new copy of this book, which will take seven days for delivery.It also seems today is going to be a free day, instead of the usual "oh shit things are fucked" day.Actions>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)>Persuade some of your allies to do D&D! (Charisma)>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)>Travel to Stockholm!>Travel to Stockholm and attempt to find a tabletop store... Just for a while, ok?>Talk to Hans>Talk to Brother Reinhold>Talk to Anitta>Talk to Claw>Talk to one of your Concubines>Write-InMarriage is in Three Days!
>>225413>>Persuade some of your allies to do D&D! (Charisma)Guys, the dice are telling us this is the only way. Come on.
>>225394Like trying to intimidate the white death while we were beaten and the dice clearly hated us?
>>225413>>Travel to Stockholm and attempt to find a tabletop store... Just for a while, ok?At least do this in our human form.
>>225413>Travel to Stockholm and attempt to find a tabletop store... Just for a while, ok?Drag claw with us, maybe we can find someone as socially awkward as him
>>225413>Travel to Stockholm and attempt to find a tabletop store... Just for a while, ok?
>>225413>Persuade some of your allies to do D&D! (Charisma)Time to relax
>>225424Yep that was one, as well as intimidating the person you surrendered to. I guess I'm counting a couple of extremely poor decisions as multiple, less retarded bad decisions.
>>225413Jesus Christ, Ren. Get your act together.>>225427Fuck it. Let's do this. Appease the Dice Gods with sufficient spaghetti and maybe, MAYBE, they'll favour us in time.
Current Form: HumanYou decide to head down to Stockholm... Realizing that you have no ride, you ask for the Imperial Limo to stop outside the city limits. You also forcibly kidnap Claw, because he needs to talk to people, instead of attempting to be socially awkward.After a few hours of searching, you come across a small game store, full of tabletop books, miniatures... And nerds. Claw seems visibly calmer, since everyone else in here is also obviously socially awkward. Except you.Actions>Demand to know where they keep the first edition handbooks for D&D.>Check out the miniatures.>Look around for a smaller, more indie tabletop.>Join the nerds. You will be playing D&D this night. (D&D Player Skill)>Write-InClaw's Action>Fuck, look at the books... Why the hell are you here? (Intelligence)>Look at the miniatures. They look cool, you guess.>There's some cool-looking card games and shit in the corner, maybe check them out?>Hang out with the fellow socially-awkward people. (Intelligence)>Talk to the store-owner, maybe you can get to know him better? (Charisma)>Write-In
>>225466>>Check out the miniatures.Get ourselves a tiny adorable dragon one or half-dragon one>Hang out with the fellow socially-awkward people. (Intelligence)
>>225466Renexizious's actions>Check out the miniatures.I want us to get into some WW2-esque tabletop game.Claw's Action>Hang out with the fellow socially-awkward people. (Intelligence)Maybe he can get a girlfriend
>>225466>Check out the miniatures.>Hang out with the fellow socially-awkward people. (Intelligence)
Alright, going with Renexizious first.Lore wise, fucking D&D books and tabletop shit was invented way earlier then norm, because fuck invention datesYou head over to the aisle which holds the miniatures. Handbooks dot the side, some referencing fantasy battles, while others showcase world-war battles and one in particular has strange-looking men in armor, and the handbook is called "Warhammer, 40k" The miniatures of this particular series take up a large section of the aisle.Actions>Look at the realistic wargame figures.>Look at the fantasy wargame figures>Look at these... Warhammer 40k figurines.>Grab some D&D miniatures and buy them.>Write-In
>>225493>Look at the realistic wargame figures.Later in quest we should commission our own figure line
>>225493>>Grab some D&D miniatures and buy them.Gonna need em for when we force everyone else to play with us mang
>>225493>Get it all
>>225493>Look at the realistic wargame figures.
>>225493>>Look at the realistic wargame figures.Bolt Action is good, fantasy wargames might be educational, 40k will bankrupt our country.
>>225501>every week some guys walks into the store>he buys every fucking thing in the store, minis included>comes in with some weird guy>he attempts to talk to people but all he can say is "y-you too" and walk away>feelsgoodmang.jpg
>>225493>>225500>>225501I'll switch to this. We own a country, we can get, like, at LEAST a few!
>>225493>Look at the fantasy wargame figures.Acquire dragon mini immediately.
Which Realistic Wargame do you get?>Modern Era Wargame>Medieval Era Wargame>Roman Era Wargame>Industrial Era Wargame>World War II Era Wargame>Napoleonic Era Wargame>Write-InIn addition...Buy anything else?>Yes>No
>>225531>>World War II Era Wargame>YesBuy a dragon figure, a Dragonblooded human figure, and a werewolf figure for Claw
>>225531>Modern Era Wargame>Yes
>>225531>All of them
>>225541It's like we're Claw's dad or something. Bringing him to the store and making him meet people, then buying him a toy.
>>225531>>World War II Era Wargame>Buy anything else?Buy whatever's big in the store now. We need to get a game going.
>>225550People bring friends when they drink beer, don't see why this has to be different.
Ending voting in ten minutes.
Ok, back. Looks like WW2 wins.You pick up an interesting looking game called Bolt Action, and pick up some shit for Claw and yourself, mostly because he's there and you can easily afford it.Actions>Continue buying Realistic Wargames. (Which one?)>Go to a different aisle. (Which one?)>Look at the 40k figurines.>Hang out with some nerds and try to get a game going with Bolt-Action. (Wargame Skill)>Write-In
>>225595>>Hang out with some nerds and try to get a game going with Bolt-Action. (Wargame Skill)Get claw in on this. Maybe we can partner up or some shit?
>>225595I'll also like to point out that unless you buy a fuckton of shit, I don't really keep track of it because it's such a minor purchase.
>>225603Just assume we've bought something unless it's something that would have been prohibitively expensive imo
>>225595>Hang out with some nerds and try to get a game going with Bolt-Action. (Wargame Skill)
>>225595>>225603Also, will our Minmax skill help for tabletop skills?
>>225621It'll help for getting the best units for the minimal points, but from there it becomes Wargaming.
Alright, switching PoV to Claw.You decide to talk to some of those humans over there while... Renexizious does whatever he's doing in the miniature isle or whatever.Roll me a 1d20+3 for talking to some nerds.
Rolled 11 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>225636
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>225636
>>22563911+3=14Minor Success!You walk over to a table where a bunch of these guys are playing... Something.A few seconds of awkward staring, and you decide to say something."Uhm... Hi?"One of the guys, apparently rolling a dice looks at you."Can I help you?""Just... Uh. Just wondering what your playing.""Oh, you've never heard or played D&D before?""What's that?"The man starts explaining to you what the hell D&D is and all that... You think you got most of it.Actions>Ask if you could join? (D&D Player Skill)>Just use your natural awkwardness and slowly walk away.>Write-In
>>225679>>Ask if you could join? (D&D Player Skill)Clearly claw plays a werewolf bard.
>>225679>Ask if you could join? (D&D Player Skill)
>>225679>Ask if you could joinFIGHT ON, CLAW!
>>225691His pickup line?"Y-You too."I personally would go for a prestige class in Speghettimancer though.The man accepts your invintation, and you sit at the table. A few minutes later, they hand you a character sheet... Roll me a 1d20+3 for how well this goes in D&D.
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>225706This is getting meta.
Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>225706
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>225706
>>22571619+3=22Excellent Success!After some further explanation and going over the rules for character customization, you create (what you'd assume) is a pretty good lycanthrope Barbarian.Now, just roll me a 1d20 for how well the session goes. No bonuses. After this, we'll switch PoV to Renexizious.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>225729
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>225729Barbarian? Aw.
>>22573418Excellent Session!You are now in Renexizious's PoVAs you glance out from the Miniature's aisle, you notice that Claw is... Well, if he was in his true form he'd probably be wagging his tail or something, he seems to be having fun... While you buy shit.>Anything else you want to buy?>Yes>No
Haha oh wow, Claw seems to be a natural at tabletop games. >>225753See if they have a guide about the history behind DnD, maybe there's some historical truth in this game, as lycantrophes, wizards, dungeons and even dragons are real
Before you leave the aisles, you quickly steal a book called the Monster Manual, and buy your Bolt-Action wargame, along with the Monster Manual.What do?>See if you can't get in on the action with Claw. (Minmaxing)>Attempt to play Bolt-Action (Wargaming)>Get Claw and leave, you're done here.
>>225799>>Attempt to play Bolt-Action (Wargaming)
>>225799>Attempt to play Bolt-Action (Wargaming)
>>225799>>See if you can't get in on the action with Claw. (Minmaxing)Time to show off?
You decide to play Bolt-Action with one of the neckbeards here. In the corner of the gaming store, a slim man offers to play the Battle of Stalingrad with you.Choices>Choose the German Reich side.>Choose the Russian side.Also, roll me a 1d20+3 for minmaxing the shit out of how many units you get.
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>225838
Rolled 6 + 1 (1d20 + 1)Ignore my rolling.
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>225838>Choose the German Reich side.
>>2258599+3=12Success!You create an army mostly geared around Panzers and Snipers, so you can take out heavily defended positions. It seems your opponent is going for the classic soviet mass infantry with limited anti-tank support.Actions>Attempt to flank his forces with some of your lighter Panzers. (Tactics)>Have your snipers take out their anti-tank support. (Tactics)>Charge to victory! (Wargaming)>Attempt to surround and destroy them. (Wargaming)>Attempt to bombard them from afar with your Panzers. (Wargaming)>Write-In
>>225880>>Have your snipers take out their anti-tank support. (Tactics)
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>225880Ignore my rolling
>>225880>Have your snipers take out their anti-tank support. (Tactics)
Alright, roll me a 1d20+3 for taking them out. Also, current units[blue[Allied Units[/blue]250x SMG Infantry2x Light Machine Gunners150x Heavy Panzers50x Light Panzers15x Anti-Tank InfantryEnemy Units1200x Infantry2x T-34s35x Anti-Tank Infantry
>>225880hey QM im that guy from last thread you called a Jew and a Bernie Sanders supporter.I just wanted to say that even though i still think im right, i hope there are no hard feelings and i encourage you to continue this great quest in what ever direction you see fit.
>>225908Oh, crap, sorry about that. I must of been shitfaced last night. Sorry man.
Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>225904
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>225904
>>225916>>225916Wew lad, luckily it's just a game, right?
>>225913You were, you insulted multiple members of you player base. Mostly by calling us cucks, bernie supporters, trump haters and jews.
Anyways, do you guys want to use Barbaric for this roll?>>225916>Yes>No
>>225930>225930Holy shit, how drunk was I?I guess I'm an example of why you don't Drink and QM.
>>225931Nah, going by our luck we'll need it later.>>225939Nah, you mainly insulted the guys going "REEEEE TAKE THE 20 KEKFAG REEEEE" s'cool.
>>225939you should reread the thread
>>225931>NoIt's just a game.
>>2259161+3=4Critical FailureYour noble-hearted attempt to take out snipers fails. Spectacularly. The anti-tank infantry actually snipe your snipers... Now, all you really have left are your panzers...Actions>Charge! For the Reich! (Wargaming)>Attempt to flank with lighter tanks! (Tactics)>Write-In>>225958I am, and holy shit was I drunk posting that, jeez. Guess I know why no one actually wants to come with me to bars now.>>225950But didn't I (kinda) take the twenty? I'm confused now.
>>225939Nonsense, drinking while QMing is mandatory. It just helps in moderation.
>>225976>>Charge! For the Reich! (Wargaming)
>>225976>Attempt to flank with lighter tanks! (Tactics)
>>225976>>Charge! For the Reich! (Wargaming)>>225976You DID kinda take the twenty, I'm the anon that rolled it. You took the 20 and they STILL reeee'd for ages hence the drinking+counter REEEE-ing.
>>225976now that your not drunk what do you think of my points?
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>225993>>225993Laughing my ass off towards the end, where I go full /pol/ack, guess I should probably drink a little less whiskey during this quest.>>225998Ehh... Not really. You did call me a bigot, and ignore that one dude's advice.Anyways, rolling a dice to decide action1=CHARGE!2=Flank!
Rolled 11 + 2 (1d20 + 2)Whelp, roll me a 1d20+3 for tactics. Ignore my rolling as usual.
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>226019
Rolled 8 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>226019
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>226019
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>226019
>>226029Shattering their skies, anon...Writing as we speak. I guess Renexizious may just be CREED! In dragon form.
>>22602920+3=23Critical Success!Your light tanks flank, and take care of their anti-tank defenses. Your heavy tanks charge down the center, and with the enemy infantry unable to counter, they are crushed extremely fast. The two lone T-34s attempt to take out your panzers, but are overwhelmed by your light tanks firing into their sides.The man salutes you, and you look over to Claw, who's finished playing D&D and is now anxiously waiting to go.You go back to your estate, and fall asleep...Current Form: Half-DragonEventually, you awake in the morning, and a servant is here to see you."What is it, servant?""Hans is here to see you again.""Goddamn it."Actions>Tell the servant to delay him, you need to do something!>Get it over with.
>>226052>Get it over with
>>226052>>Get it over with.
>>226052>>Get it over with.Do we look disheveled? Should we be waxing our scales or brushing our teeth?
>>226067You don't know anon, you haven't really looked in a mirror or anything like that."Fine, now leave me mortal."Hans is back in your Foyer, pacing back and forth urgently."Renexizious, rumors are traveling around that you've been killed among the peasantry... By the White Death. However, since your with me... I can be assured you killed the White Death, right?Actions>Sure. Yeah. I guess. (Charisma)>Nope, got shot and (nearly) killed.>Write-In
>>226052>Get it over with.If it's Hans, then it's probably important.
>>226086>Make sure no one is around to overhear>Nope, got shot and (nearly) killed.
>>226086>>Nope, got shot and (nearly) killed.>Write-inI fucked up, hans. I fucked up *bad*
>>226086>>Nope, got shot and (nearly) killed.Don't worry Hans, I'll be back to gain revenge on that troublesome mortal soon.
>>226086>Nope, got shot and (nearly) killed."He shot me in the eye for gods sake!"
You make sure no one around is able to hear."I nearly died there, Hans. The White Death is somehow more powerful then me."Hans seems legitimately shocked, then starts thinking deeper."I would see Anitta about how exactly a mortal man could nearly kill you with ease... Perhaps it might be a magical phenomena."Actions>Agree, you could use the advice, and you need all the one-ups you can get.>Disagree, you do not need magic telling you what you already know.
>>226117>>Disagree, you do not need magic telling you what you already know.There's no good in publicizing the issue further. We will find this man and show him our power once we've healed.
>>226117>Disagree, you do not need magic telling you what you already know.
>>226117>Disagree, you do not need magic telling you what you already know."He is a good sniper and I have the same weak-points in human form as any other. Seriously though he got me in the eye!"
>>226117>>Disagree, you do not need magic telling you what you already know."No, it was my fault for engaging him in a more human form. I should have just dropped a dragon on him instead. That tends to solve problems easier."
"He is a good sniper, for a mortal. I have the same weakspots in my human form as any human, but honest to the lord... He shot my eye!""That would explain why you don't have a left eye... Now tell me, dragon... When do you plan to engage him."Actions>Now, you cannot let such a man go unchecked.>Send your elite guard to take care of him.>Send Claw to take care of him, along with your personal guard.>Just send Claw to take care of him.>Not now, the realm is too divided as we speak... Not to mention my marriage two days from now.>Write-In
>>226152>Send Claw to take care of him, along with your personal guard.
>>226152>>Send Claw to take care of him, along with your personal guard.Honestly, claw would be best given his stealth capabilities and how he can use all his stuff in human form now
>>226152>>Not now, the realm is too divided as we speak... Not to mention my marriage two days from now.I'll just have to stomach this uppity human.
Y'know, if we told people we died this could be pretty good hype for us.Be all: "My Holy Radiance cannot be killed! God wills it!" or some shit.
>>226166Might be diminished by our missing eye and deathly pallor.
>>226152>Just send Claw to take care of himClaw might be socially awkward, but he's a good fighter and very stealthy.
"Send Claw, and my personal guard at once.""Yes, my emperor."Hans readies Claw and your men for emergency transportation via helicopter, to the last spot the White Death was spotted...Switching PoV to Claw.After what seems like hours of waiting, the helicopter lands in a large snowfield outside of Helenski. You have two avenues to approach where the White Death might be.Actions>Transform into wolf form and attempt to sneak below the snow drifts... (Agillity)>Remain in human form and attempt to sneak up to the White Death. (Agillity, HARD)Additionally, personal guard>Draw the attention of the White Death!>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.
>>226184>Remain in human form and attempt to sneak up to the White Death. (Agillity, HARD)>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.
>>226184>>Transform into wolf form and attempt to sneak below the snow drifts... (Agillity)>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.
>>226184>Transform into wolf form and attempt to sneak below the snow drifts... (Agillity)>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.I want him alive, as hard as that may be.
>>226184>Transform into wolf form and attempt to sneak below the snow drifts... (Agillity)>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.
>>226184>>Transform into wolf form and attempt to sneak below the snow drifts... (Agillity)>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.I kinda want to try and recruit him, despite the whole "almost killing us" thing. He's clearly hype as FUCK.
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+8 for sneakybeaky.
Rolled 1 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>226198
Rolled 2 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>226198>in after 1White Death STRONK
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>226198goddamnit gimme the 20
Rolled 7 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>226198gotta keep rolling.
Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>226202...are you, by any chance, the anon that rolled all the ones last thread?
Rolled 11 (1d20)
>>226206I'm so glad that wasn't me again.
>>226214I am the guy that got 4 1's in a row in the second thread.
>>226214If you click on his ID you can see his other posts. This is his third 1 this thread.
>>226214No, that was me. And I've been rolling well this thread.
>>226217As the guy who got 3 last thread, I know that feel.>>226221Wow, really? And I thought the dice hated me.
>>226221He also got us one of the 20s this turn though.
Rolled 1 + 8 (1d20 + 8)
>>226237It just doesn't fucking stop, does it. Shit. Okay Hayha, you win, Finland gets to be independent.
>>226237Let's hope QM is too busy posting to notice this one in time.
>>2262021+8=9Critical Failure!>>226237>>2262371+8=9Double Critical Failure!To avoid last time's death spiral, I'ma just cut to the chase this time.You sneak up to where you think the White Death is... A small snow pile. You smash the shit out of it. You shift back into human form to further investigate the snow pile you ruined... Just to be sure.Then you get clubbed in the fucking face. Goddamn it!You awake in a cave, with the White Death looking towards you, holding a rifle. He says a sentence to you. You attempt to struggle, but your trapped in a set of bindings."Who are you?"WHAT IS WITH YOU BEING CLUBBED IN THE FUCKING FACE!Actions>Answer his question...>Attempt to lie! (Charisma)>Oh shit, transform into wolf form and attempt to break the bindings!
>>226249>>Oh shit, transform into wolf form and attempt to break the bindings!
>>226249>>Answer his question...Claw is shit at charisma.
>>226249>>Answer his question...I think we've learned our lesson by now. DO NOT FUCK WITH THIS MAN!
>>226260Literally? Or figuratively?This is important information to Renexizious.
>>226249>Oh shit, transform into wolf form and attempt to break the bindings!>Post YFW claw is going to have to be be necromanced
>>226249>Answer his question...Screw it, this is how we recruited those enemy wolves.
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>226249>Answer his question...Ignore this roll
>>226249>Oh shit, transform into wolf form and attempt to break the bindings!Lets just kill this guy, at this point he's reached demigod level of annoyimg
>>226266You keep rolling, against all logic. Why?
>>226266stop fucking rolling
Looks like Answer Question wins.Writing.
>>226261Well, we haven't tried literally yet, but I'm not sure if we dare to try.
"I'm... Uh... Claws." you say towards the floor."Claws?""Yes?""Interesting... I know you are a behemoth." He lowers the rifle slightly..."How do you know that?""I'm not going to answer that."Actions>Attempt to weasel the information out of him. (Diplomacy)>Accept that he's probably not going to answer.>Ask him why he took you prisoner instead of killing you.>Write-In
>>226296>>Attempt to weasel the information out of him. (Diplomacy)we really need to kill this umbitch but first lets find stuff out
>>226296>>Attempt to weasel the information out of him. (Diplomacy)Was it the wolf form? I bet it was the wolf form.
>>226296>>Attempt to weasel the information out of him. (Diplomacy)>"Aw, come oooooooooooon">"Pleeeeease?"
>>226296>Attempt to weasel the information out of him. (Diplomacy)
Roll me a 1d20+4 for this.
Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>226311
Rolled 14 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>226311
Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>226311
Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>226311
>>226323It seems claw is becoming less of a spaghettimancer
>>226323nat 20IT'S HAPPENING!
>>226323I guess not rolling was the best idea.
>>226323Claw, you magnificent bastard.>>226333Your restraint has been noted fellow unfortunate anon, I salute you.
>inb4 we can recruit the white death.>inb4 Claw successfully recruits all our enemies by threatening to have Ren rape them>Claw comes back>White Death is with him>Ren: "Ah, so you managed to captu-">WD: "OH GOD PLEASE NO">Ren: "...what?">WD: "I DON"T CONSEEEEEEENT">Ren: "...goddamnit Claw">>226333Just roll now. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
>>226353Unlikely, but hilarious.
Rolled 499 (1d1000)>>226353Everything could go wrong.
>>22632320+4=24Critical Success!You have come up with a diabolical idea... You give him puppy eyes. An ancient art amongst your people.He looks at you... And he is visibly shaking. You can smell the fear, the sweat, and the will of this man breaking...Actions>Transform into wolf form to utterly destroy this man's resistance to not pet a doggo.>Go for what worked with the village... Rape threats from Renexizious?>Why not both? What's the worst that could happen?>Write-Inanons I have no words anymore
>>226353our enemies will cower in fear at the prospect of fighting our magnificent dragon sausage>>226364>Why not both? What's the worst that could happen?
>>226364>>Why not both? What's the worst that could happen?We got this, guys.
>>226364>Why not both? What's the worst that could happen?
>>226364>>Transform into wolf form to utterly destroy this man's resistance to not pet a doggo.
>>226364>Transform into wolf form to utterly destroy this man's resistance to not pet a doggo."White death surrenders to enemey, states that ''the doggo was too cute!''"
>>226364>Transform into wolf form to utterly destroy this man's resistance to not pet a doggo.
>>226370>>226372>>226373that wont work
>>226390It could. Have faith, man.
>>226364>>Transform into wolf form to utterly destroy this man's resistance to not pet a doggo.Fuck it.
>>226408>>226400>>226392>>226385do you want no eyes? cause thats how you get no eyes
>TFW anons don't realise just transform is the "fight him now" option
>>226415>yeah here I go looking adorable while telling him that the dragon that Hayha just got done kicking its ass is going to fly it's half dead tail over to try and rape him.
>>226411Says the man who got us a double botch by continuously rolling after our regular botch.>>226423We'll see.
>>226423If being a 'behemoth' was a death sentence then Claw should already be dead, being as how the White Death knows he's a behemoth.
>>226435>says the anon*
You transform slowly to ease the White Death into this...He suddenly yells out "Puppy!", and goes to pet you. Just as planned.You walk out of the ice caves, with him following and riding you, whilst petting you and saying "Puppy!" and other demeaning things like that. You secure him in the helicopter, and he looks down to the ground and looks back at you."I'll miss you, doggo."The rest of the helicopter ride is him looking somberly towards the ground, somewhat embarrassed. A few of the men are laughing at him, but most are silent. You joke along the way that "Renexizious will have his way with you!", and the man is slightly trembling underneath his clothes.You secretly enjoyed the White Death petting you..Back to Renexizious's PoV.The helicopter lands outside, and Claw comes forth, holding the White Death, who is quite saddened and saying a muffling a "I do not consent!" through his mask.Actions>Spit in his face. Which might melt his face. (Acid Spit)>Order him to the dungeon. You'll interrogate him.>Kill him.>Write-InI'm breaking out some Bud Light now... I don't even fucking know anymore.
>>226435Says the man who got 9 nat ones
>>226446>Write-InVassalize him. The gets to rule Finland, we get a subject that can fight off dragons.
>>226446>>Order him to the dungeon. You'll interrogate him.
>>226446>>Order him to the dungeon. You'll interrogate him.Maybe we could test shit on him? Make a super-loyal supersoldier?
>>226446>Order him to the dungeon. You'll interrogate him.
>>226446>>226455Holy shit, I'll back this if there's a tie, that sounds great. Would make the fins loyal because their hero gets to rule them too. Show motherfuckers we can respect strength/talent.And as a constant reminder to never NOT go full dragon when fighting people
>>226470I say we interrogate him first, to see if he can be trusted. Though I'm all for White Death being our vassal in Finland.
You take him to the dungeon, where he proceeds to yell out a long "Noooooo!!!"You put him in a cell, and you have a few avenues of... Well. To approach.Actions>Mutate him!>Interrogate him.>Torture him for taking your eye!>Maim him for taking your eye!>Write-In
>>226480>Interrogate him.No torture, no maiming, no mutagen, we need to know why he rebelled and if he can be trusted to run Finland.
>>226480>>Interrogate him.Eh, I kinda like that vassal idea., so that too, if that needs to be:>Write-In
>>226480>>226486this but try to turn him to our side if possible, we need a super badass human on our side
Btw. Since no one has archived thread 5 and 6 yet, can I have some description suggestions for them so I can add them to suptg? It needs to be 140 characters or less.Here is thread 1-4 http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=European
A few minutes later, after the "No consent" and the whole "Your a rapist!" thing goes by, you have some peace and quiet."So, I assume you know why you're here?""Because I am a patriot of Finland?""No, because you are a terrorist to the Holy Dragon Empire."You pace calmly back and forth in the room... Your missing eye hidden by an eye-patch you requested from the Royal Tailor."I assume it's because I took your eye?'"Next time, finish the job, White Death."He spits in your face."I will."It seems that he's quite iron-willed...Actions (Pick two)>Ask him how much he knows about Behemoths... (Intimidate)>Ask how you might best gain his trust. (Diplomacy)>Bring in Claw, he did say in his report that he got along quite well when in wolf form with him.>Ask him about his military career.>Write-In
>>226512I'll let you decide for that m8, just go with a brief summary of what happened in the thread.
>>226517>>Bring in Claw, he did say in his report that he got along quite well when in wolf form with him.
>>226517>Bring in Claw, he did say in his report that he got along quite well when in wolf form with him.>Ask him how much he knows about Behemoths... (Intimidate)
>>226517>Bring in Claw, he did say in his report that he got along quite well when in wolf form with him.>Ask how you might best gain his trust. (Diplomacy)
>>226517>Bring in Claw, he did say in his report that he got along quite well when in wolf form with him.>Ask him about his military career.If nothing else we have an eye for talent and he does seem like he could be useful
>>226517>>Bring in Claw, he did say in his report that he got along quite well when in wolf form with him.>>Ask how you might best gain his trust. (Diplomacy)>"Yo nigga what you want?"
>>226522That's what I usually go for. Asking in case anyone else got a good summary for them so I don't have to go back and refresh my memory.>>226517>Bring in Claw, he did say in his report that he got along quite well when in wolf form with him.>Ask how you might best gain his trust. (Diplomacy)
>>226517>>Ask how you might best gain his trust. (Diplomacy)>>Bring in Claw, he did say in his report that he got along quite well when in wolf form with him.
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+8(+2 from Doggo) for diplomacy.
Rolled 18 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>226563
Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>226563
No more rolls pls
>>226567Nice. No need to puss our luck after that roll.
Rolled 20 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>226563>TFW you press your luck>TFW nat 1
>>226599THE POWER OF CUTE DOGGIE PREVAILS!
>>226599>TFW you're the same anon that rolled the 20 that saved RenFeels good, man
>>226605Actually, found a picture for that. Except it's a cat.Close enough.
>>22656720+8=28Critical Overwhelming SuccessWhen Claw walks in, White Death immediately breaks afterwards, shouting out..."I can't stay mad at you, doggo!"If it wasn't for the fact he is behind a concrete wall and bulletproof glass, he'd attempt to pet Claw. Who is mildly scowling at you.It seems that White Death seems to calm down once you explain that your "friends" with Claw. More or less, Claw is your autistic sidekick and your the fucking kick-ass hero with balls of steel. He shrugs and seems generally more open towards you... So you ask him a question."What can I do to gain your trust?"He responds with a quick answer."I suppose you already have it, seeing as you didn't kill or maim me for taking your eye.""Good, that's what I wanted to hear."Before you leave, he says one last thing."Can I pet the doggo?"You nod, and force Claw into the cramped Cell. He'll be pissed off at you, but oh well. That's a small price to pay for an expert sniper.It seems you have no more duties for today... You have a free afternoon.Actions>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)>Persuade some of your allies to do D&D! (Charisma)>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)>Travel to Stockholm>Talk to Hans>Talk to Brother Reinhold>Talk to the White Death>Talk to Anitta>Talk to Claw>Talk to one of your Concubines>See if you can't mutate the White Death.>Make the White Death a vassal in Finland.>Write-In
>>226636>Make the White Death a vassal in Finland.
>>226636>>Persuade some of your allies to do D&D! (Charisma)>>Make the White Death a vassal in Finland.>Try and fix your soul up
>>226644You can only do that when it's Mutation Point time.
>>226636>>Make the White Death a vassal in Finland.It is time.
>>226636>Make the White Death a vassal in Finland.So, it's like you're fighting for your independence, but fighting for me is better.
>>226650Alright, Just vassal/DnD then, if we can pick two.Just vassal if 1>>226655>"Sure, you coooooould fight for independence, orrrrrr you could fight for me, and get to pet Doggo"
>>226664I feel this is a very convincing argument.
>>226636>>Make the White Death a vassal in Finland
Once Claw is done with the psychological torture, known as "petting", you give White Death control over Finland for you. He will be off tomorrow, and salutes you. His only words when done talking to you is..."No hard feelings, right? Also, when can I pet Claw again?"You nod your head, and say "Soon enough." You have a D&D session to plan, meanwhile.Who do you invite?>Claw>Brother Reinhold>Hans>Anitta>A few of your soldiers.>Some nobles.>Write-In(White Death cannot come, he is too busy packing to go to Finland yet.)
>>226681>>Claw>>Brother Reinhold>>Hans>>AnittaJust these 4>inb4:>Bard>Necromancer>Paladin>Wizard
>>226681>Claw>Brother Reinhold>Hans>AnittaJust our closest circle.
Alright then.You invite the four to a "special meeting in an hour." in your library.They all arrive on time, expecting serious business.Foodstuffs>Light food, no need to eat too much during a session of D&D, right?>Alcohol and plenty of food. You're doing this more traditionally.>No Food or Drink.>Write-InCampaign Plot>Good-Leaning Campaign>Evil Leaning Campaign>Neutral Leaning Campaign>Write-InStoryline>Fuck a evil wizard up!>Fuck up an evil king!>Fuck up a god-damned lich king!>Fuck up a dragon!>Write-In
>>226747>Alcohol and plenty of food. You're doing this more traditionally.>Neutral Leaning Campaign>Write-In: fuck a sniper up!
>>226747>>Alcohol and plenty of food. You're doing this more traditionally.>>Evil Leaning Campaign>Write-in>>Fuck up an evil Ranger, focused on ranged attacks!>inb4 Reinhold gets really into being a 'Evil' character
>>226747>Alcohol and plenty of food. You're doing this more traditionally.>Neutral Leaning Campaign>Theme: Survival in a strange new world that the group has woken up in, sort of like you woke up with little knowledge of the world around you.
>>226784For a moment, I thought my post had gone through twice there. You could just have said you support my post you know.
Rolled 18, 13, 11, 19 = 61 (4d20)>>226777Looks like this wins.Ignore my dice.
Apparently, everybody but literally Hans has ever played this game. Hans is mildy confused, but learns fast on how to make a character sheet. You notice that the party is... Interesting.>Claw: Werewolf Cavalier: Lawful Good>Anitta: Half-Orc Magic User: Chaotic Neutral>Hans: Human Rogue: Chaotic Good>Reinhold: Human Cleric. Alignment: Lawful NeutralContinuing in next post.
>>226826>TFW none of your subordinates choose to play as a Half-dragon character
>>226826You start the party off in a cavern, where they have no memory of how, or why they met each other. Only that they are there, and that light is shining from up ahead...What are those shining lights?>A small settlement of Dwarves.>A drow prison.>The surface!Also, roll me a 1d20+2 for how interested your players are...
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>226840>A drow prison.
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>226840>A drow prison.
Also, Reinhold passes you a note...I want to play my character as a Lawful-Evil Half-Dragon attempting to earn the favor of HextorHe gives you a wink.Actions>Allow>Disallow>>226835Anon, pls stop guessing my plots.
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)Thread 5 and 6 have been archived. That 140 character limit is really annoying sometimes.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=European>>226840>The surface!>>226857>Allow
>>226861Archiveanon, you deserve that 20.Switching to >The surface!
>>226861Suddenly everyone is getting 20's after i stop rolling.
>>226875It's like I sad earlier on, the dice gods love DnD. Gygax was an Archmage.
>>226869I really feel I do. Especially after my constant 1s last thread, you know the ones.
>>22686120+2=22The Blessing of Archives!Your group is absolutetly enthralled, and are acting extremely in-character, roleplaying, even minor actions such as picking up rocks and shit.When it emerges to the surface, you give Reinhold a nod, and he gives you a grin. The party quickly decides to head to a nearby village. Do you have anything intercept them on the way there?>Gnolls>Goblins>Orcs>A Minotaur, because fuck them!>Write-InThe party is level four, by the way.
>>226895>>GnollsAmbush tactics are best suited to the furry folk.
>>226895>A dragon they will need to use their brains to avoid it.
>>226895>>Write-InKobolds, which you believe to be the greatest kind of minions for some reason
>>226895>Write in>An elf badly wounded which tells of a battle between them and human forces, players have a say in the battle
>>226908>>226908Dear god...Do you have any concept of the word mercy?
>>226916There is no mercy here, only traps. traps and minmaxed kobolds
>>226916I think we've heard of it, likely from those under us, but we've never subscribed to it.
Rolled 13, 13, 3, 16 = 45 (4d20)Roll... Roll me a 1d20+3 to minmax the Kobolds.May Pelor have mercy on their souls.Ignore my rolling.
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>226932
Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>226932>inb4 1
>>226936>>226936[spoilers]Tucker's Kobolds strike back.[/spoiler]
>>226936THE DND GODS HAVE SPOKEN, THEY WILL BE SACRFICED.
>>226936This is getting pretty silly.
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>226932
>>226932>>226936And thus they were introduced to the BBEG's of this setting. The Kobolds.
>>226936Should've gone with the gobbos.
>>226936Part of me is wondering why we couldn't have gotten all these 20s when fighting the White Death. But mostly I'm just finding this utterly hilarious.
Rolled 13 + 6 (1d20 + 6)Han's triggers a trap in the middle of the forest, and is sent catapulted fifty feet in the air, coincidentally into a small group of kobolds. Hans attempts to flee, whereas Reinhold is attempting to convert them to "Pelor."Everyone else realizes it's time for combat, and prepare to charge.Actions>Make the kobolds take care of Hans>Make the kobolds deal with the rest of the party.>Make the kobolds deal with Hans.>Write-InIgnore my roll.
>>226966/k/ > /fit/.Snipers are mean stuff.
>>226970>Make the kobolds take care of HansWelcome to the kobold camp. You're the first prisoner.
>>226970>Write-In: The kobolds kidnap hans and run away
>>226970>Make the kobolds take care of HansKidnap him! use him as bait!
>>226970Have the kobolds kidnap Hans.
The kobolds run away with Hans, who is currently screaming "I do not consent!".This causes a round of laughs around the table, except for you. You just glare at Hans.The party follows the kobolds back to their camp, where Hans is being held captive.Reinhold is attempting to persuade the party to "get an army of the faithful" instead of charging in there, it seems the party agrees with that statement.>Let them go back to the village unmolested.>KOBOLDS AGAIN!>Further trap the kobold encampment while the players attempt to gather an army.
>>227015>>Further trap the kobold encampment while the players attempt to gather an army.
>>227015>Further trap the kobold encampment while the players attempt to gather an army.
>>227015>>Let them go back to the village unmolested.Lull them into a false sense of security, guys
Roll me a 1d20+3 for how well you further trap the kobold encampment.
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>227050
Rolled 6 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>227050
Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>227050
Rolled 11 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>227050Wouldn't mind getting a 1 here.
>>227057>>22705714+3=17Minor Success!You trap the base further, covering blind spots and the such. While this is going on, Reinhold is attempting to start a cult in town for Hextor, Anitta is attempting to get drunk in memory of Hans, Claw is practicing fighting with the town guard.Actions (Pick as many as you want.)>Have the cult spread like wildfire...>Have Claw transform, because it's the full moon now, and terrify the guards and possibly get locked up.>Have Anitta get in a drinking contest with a dwarf.>Write-In
>>227079>>Have the cult spread like wildfire...>Have Anitta get in a drinking contest with a dwarf.>Write-InHave the kobolds make convincing arguments for Hans to join their side
>>227079>Have the cult spread like wildfire...>Have Anitta get in a drinking contest with a dwarf.
>>227079>Have the cult spread like wildfire...>Have Claw transform, because it's the full moon now, and terrify the guards and possibly get locked up.>Have Anitta get in a drinking contest with a dwarf.> meanwhile hans is getting violated by kobolds
>>227079>>227088Actually, change that to Kobolds trying to seduce Hans, and make him their Queen
Rolled 17, 14 = 31 (2d20)Ignore my dice roll...
>>227079>Have Claw transform, because it's the full moon now, and terrify the guards and possibly get locked up.>Have Anitta get in a drinking contest with a dwarf.>>227088This write in.
The Cult of Hextor, in a single day, is most of the town's populace of 8,000, thanks to Reinhold's half-dragon bloodline.Anitta gets in a drinking contest, and barely succceds and is challenged by the group to chug alcohol with Hans as the dwarf.Afterwards, Hans gets a crazy look on his face, and calmly says to you "I roll to seduce the Kobolds."He's shitfaced as fuck>Allow the roll>Don't allow it.
>>227145>>Allow the rollAw yeah
>>227145>>Allow the rollDiplomacy and seduction is a time-honored tradition here.
Roll me a 1d20+2 for Han's Roll.
Rolled 7 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>227166
Rolled 2 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>227166
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>227166It's not like the kobold will view him in a new light, or anything!
Rolled 4 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>227166Come on 20, or 1
Rolled 2 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>227166Time to fuck everything up with my roll.
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>227166
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)Succeed:>Congrats, you're the king of the kobold tribeFail:>Congrats, you're the newest Concubine to the kobold king
>>2271687+2=9FailureThe kobolds all stare at him, awkwardly. This will buy him time at the very least.Meanwhile, the group is leading an army of 8,000 zealous Hextorians, along with an angry party.Actions>Have the kobolds ambush them.>Have the kobolds meet them outside for open battle.>Have the kobolds stay inside.Anitta and Reinhold look like they are about to cast a spell.
>>227206>Have the kobolds stay inside.
>>227206>>Have the kobolds ambush them.
>>227206>Have the kobolds ambush them.They are kobolds, it's what they do.
>>227206>Have the kobolds ambush them followed by retreating into their camp after they recover from the suprise.
Annita casts a Fireball into the forest, in a attempt to set it ablaze to burn out the kobolds. This works well, especially since your kobolds are in the forest.Reinhold casts a Scrying spell to find Hans, and to scout out the enemy positions.You have lost quite a few kobolds due to this attack, about a hundred and fifty.Actions>Have the Kobolds attempt to sacrifice Hans to appease their deity. Will encourage the PCs to go through the burning forest.>Have the Kobolds attempt to ransom Hans off.>Have the Kobolds free him to avert further hostilites.>Write-InIt seems as if it's nearly midnight. You'd be surprised if you got more then thirty more minutes.
>>227237>Have the Kobolds attempt to sacrifice Hans to appease their deity. Will encourage the PCs to go through the burning forest.
>>227237>>Have the Kobolds attempt to ransom Hans off.But while the party deliberates>>Have the Kobolds attempt to sacrifice Hans to appease their deity. Will encourage the PCs to go through the burning forest.To encourage them to decide quickly.
>>227237>>Have the Kobolds attempt to sacrifice Hans to appease their deity. Will encourage the PCs to go through the burning forest.AWAKEN THE SERVENTS OF THE DARK GODS!
Roll me a 1d20 to see if they can rescue Hans in time.
>>227255Come on 20.
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>227255
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>227255
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>227259I could have sworn I added the dice.
>>227267>)What is with you guys and getting natural twenties on the fun stuff?Reinhold's eyes brighten up, and he asks the party if he could go inside to "negotiate" with the kobolds. Since they trust him, they let him go inside. He reveals his true self to the Kobolds, and over the tribal walls, signals a order to the Hextoriate militia which surround our heroes, with kobolds only behind them.The PCs are captured, and are converted to Hextor forcibly.Everyone's shocked that Reinhold was in fact the villain all along, but everyone tells you it was a fun game and leaves for bed.You do as well.Mutation Point UnlockedYour Mutations>Reforge Your Soul (0/10)>Upgrade Mutation>Attribute Point>Stable Mutation>Unstable Mutation>Extremely Unstable MutationClaw's Mutation>Upgrade Mutation>Stable Mutation>Attribute Point>Unstable Mutation>Extremely Unstable Mutation
>>227306>>Reforge Your Soul (0/10)>Extremely Unstable MutationWe reeeeeeally need that soul fixed, or we cant go full dragon anytime soon
>>227306>>Reforge Your Soul (0/10)>Stable Mutation
>>227306>>Reforge Your Soul (0/10)Stay in bed, drink OJ, eat chicken noodle soup,
>>227306>Reforge Your Soul (0/10)>Unstable Mutation
>>227306>>Reforge Your Soul (0/10)>>Extremely Unstable Mutation
Reforge wins, along with Extremely Unstable Mutation.Roll me a 1d100 for what Claw gets.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>227331
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>227331What could possibly happen with this roll
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>227331>Claw becomes invisible
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>227331
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>227331
77 73 96 average is 82Claw receives: Enlarged Fangs(+2 Body, Biting attacks are more devastating to enemy Behemoths. Receives a devastating attack in Human Form which will fuck up humans.)Also, continuing in a few minutes.
You wake up early in the morning, today is your wedding day.Shit. You are not ready for this.Your servant awakes you, and asks how the hell are you going to get ready for this event?Attendance>All citizens of Sweden may attend the royal marriage.>Friends and family of you and Elizabeth may attend the royal marriage.>Family Only.>Write-InWedding Ring>Get her a ruby ring, see if you can't get one shaped similar to that of a dragon the day of the marriage as well... [Cost: 45k USD]>Get her a regular diamond ring. [Cost: 25k USD]>Get her a golden ring. [Cost: 5k USD]>Write-InBest Man>Claw>Hans>Reinhold>Write-InAlso...In what Form will you show up in?>Half Dragon.>Dragonblood>Human
>>227450>>All citizens of Sweden may attend the royal marriage.Brits fucking LOVE spectacles and the LOVE royal marriages, man.>>Get her a ruby ring, see if you can't get one shaped similar to that of a dragon the day of the marriage as well... [Cost: 45k USD]>>HansBut only because Reinhold is doing the ceremony. Unless the pope is, in which case>Reinhold>>DragonbloodOtherwise we'll be too tall imo
I'd also like to point out the pope is doing the ceremony, and it kinda doubles as a sort of coronation for you as well.
>>227450>All citizens of Sweden may attend the royal marriage.It's a celebration!>Get her a ruby ring, see if you can't get one shaped similar to that of a dragon the day of the marriage as well... [Cost: 45k USD]>HansHe's our bro for life after all.>Half Dragon.>>227469Actually, we upgraded our shape shifting, we can be in any of our sizes, from our original to our biggest. Half Dragon shouldn't be a problem.>>227478Hell yeah, all this time sucking up to the Pope has finally paid off.
>>227450>>All citizens of Sweden may attend the royal marriage.>Get her a ruby ring, see if you can't get one shaped similar to that of a dragon the day of the marriage as well>Hans>Dragonblood
>>227450>All citizens of Sweden may attend the royal marriage.>Get her a ruby ring, see if you can't get one shaped similar to that of a dragon the day of the marriage as well... [Cost: 45k USD]>Hans>Half Dragon.
>>227450>>Friends and family of you and Elizabeth may attend the royal marriage.>Get her a ruby ring, see if you can't get one shaped similar to that of a dragon the day of the marriage as well... [Cost: 45k USD]>Hans>Half-Dragon
>>227478Eh, let Hans be the best man then.>>227488Yeah, but it'd be tough to kiss with the snout.
>>227506I see your point. But I'm sticking with my vote anyway.
Alright, looks like Half Dragon, All Attend, Ruby Ring, and Hans wins.Writing, be back in a few minutes though.>>227506>accidently bite her nose off>shit>this is worse then prom>fuck>how do I cover this up>uhhh.... *pants nervously*>*eats elizabeth*Luckily, we aren't Claw-Level autistic
You send letters to the news stations, reporting that any "British or Swedish" citizen is allowed at the marriage. You also send out a letter to jewelers for a ruby ring shaped similar to... Well.. You for the marriage. You also tell Hans late minute he's the "best man", and is slightly confused and realizes what's going on. That's when you finally get to the damned cathedral, after running around all day.There, accompanied by your personal guard, you wait patiently for the bride. It also seems that the Queen of England spared no expense with a gargantuan wedding case, nearly twice your half-dragon size. Which is about forty feet.Eventually, the English guests arrive, and take their seat in the pews. You give a respectful nod towards Pope Pius XI, who asks you to go on one knee, as before the marriage is the coronation of the Emperor.Actions>Bow, you are the pope's humble servant, and even a king of kings must be humble to the clergy.>Refuse to, he should be bowing to you, not the other way around.>Tolerate this...>Write-In
>>227569>>Tolerate this...Eh, the pope is a cool dude.
>>227569>>Bow, you are God's servant and shall respect his customs
>>227569>Bow, you are the pope's humble servant, and even a king of kings must be humble to the clergy.
>>227569>>Bow, you are the pope's humble servant, and even a king of kings must be humble to the clergy.
You bow on your one knee, which brings you to about head-height of the Pope, who proceeds to announce to the crowd..."I hereby name thy Renexizious I, Emperor of Holy Sweden, Protector of Christendom, Heir of the Roman Empire, King of Norway, Lord-Protector of Finland. May your reign be long, fruitful, and peaceful."After this small sermon is given, a crown, decorated in gold, purple, rubies is placed on your head.You stand up, and turn around to see your bride, Elizabeth walking towards you, her handmaidens behind her.She walks up beside you."Do you, Renexizious I, Emperor of Holy Sweden, take Elizabeth III of Great Britian as your lawfully wedded wife?">I do.>I do not.
>>227650>>I do.This wedding better end with drunken adventures with the pope. Preferably him giving us a thumbs up while we rail elizabeth
"I do, obviously.""And do you?""I do."You proceed to kiss. This is awkward, mostly because your snout gets in the way. In the end, you just headbutt each other."Is that it?"The pope nods.You pick up Elizabeth, look towards Hans and give him a high-five. You actually fucking got married. You now have a overwhelming urge to get drunk.What do?Action>Eat that fucking cake, and get barely drunk on wine.>Hang out with Hans. Maybe he has something stronger then wine hidden up his sleeve.>You know where the good shit is, maybe there is a bar nearby?>Write-In
>>227691>>Eat that fucking cake, and get barely drunk on wine.Time to have a good time.
>>227691>>Eat that fucking cake, and get barely drunk on wine.I bet we have the best fucking cake. Eat with the pope, if we can.
>>227691>Eat that fucking cake, and get barely drunk on wine.not too drunk tho... dont want whiskey dick
You take out a fucking huge slice of cake (About the size of a human's head, and a goblet of wine, of similar size. It's good to be the Emperor.You relax with Elizabeth next to the Pope. Elizabeth seems to be talking with some friends, while the Pope is drinking a small goblet of water.>Attempt to persaude the Pope to drink some wine. (Diplomacy)>Ask Elizabeth how pregnant she is.>Fuck this, get Hans over here to talk to while you drink wine.>Write-In
>>227762>>Attempt to persaude the Pope to drink some wine. (Diplomacy)The best plan we've ever had
>>227762>>Ask Elizabeth how pregnant she is.Wife, status report! Please don't quote that.
>>227762>Attempt to persaude the Pope to drink some wine. (Diplomacy)>>227792lets not talk about our premarital sex with the fucking pope right next to us
Roll me a 1d20+6(+2 from Pheromones)>>227792I want to fucking put that in a gold frame.
Rolled 13 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>227812
Rolled 4 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>227812
Rolled 15 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>227812A little stronger than the stuff served at communion, but I'm sure his Excellency is a man of moderation.
>>22782615+6=21Success!The pope pauses, and considers it for a second. He then nods his head and gets a small goblet of wine. Meanwhile, your drinking and eating quite a bit.Actions>Introduce yourself to random people throughout the Cathederal. This should occupy your time.>Talk to Elizabeth about the... Thing.>It's time to leave with Elizabeth back to your lair. You've gotten what you came for.
>>227834>>Talk to Elizabeth about the... Thing.>Let the pope overhear>He's cool with it because drunk>Tells us to hurry home and consummate
>>227834>Talk to Elizabeth about the... Thing.Wife, status report! Return of the silly line.
>>227834>>Talk to Elizabeth about the... Thing.Well, if you are already chained to her, better to get to know her better.In unrelated news, because I joined late this session, we should've totally made the white death train Renoxiezius's personal corps in the fine art of dragon slaying tier sniping instead of sending him back home so soon
>>227858Oh shit, that's a pretty great idea.Also, we need to get Elizabeth involved in our highly unethical testing and experiments. She said she liked alchemy and magic, remember?
>>227858Would have been cool, but what's done is done.
>>227834>note to consider, smashing the shit out of our waifu in our state may not be the best idea, might corrupt the baby
>>227858I think it's important that he not spend too much time in Sweden. It's going to be a hard thing, winning back the support of the populace who resisted for so long. We might be looking for a new vassal soon.
"Elizabeth.""Yes, husband?""I would like to talk to you... About the thing." You take a hearty gulp from your goblet of wine."Right... My personal doctor says it should come soon.""How soon?!" You nearly spit out your wine, to avoid causing a scene (or fire)"Three day's time, according to him."Close call then...You look out towards the crowd, and notice the Pope is now stumlbing back to his seat.>Stop the Pope from getting more wine.>See where this goes.>Leave, you might be blamed for this later on.>Write-In
>>227877>>Stop the Pope from getting more wine.Discuss with him the finer points of ethical necromancy. This is our chance to get him on board with it!
>>227877>See where this goes.
Rolled 11 + 3 (1d20 + 3)Roll me 1d20+6 to talk to the pope about necromancy.Also, ignore my roll.
Rolled 14 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>227897
Rolled 17 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>227897>>227897
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>227897
>>227905Necrobro, looks like your crazy scheme won't get us in trouble, yet.
>>22790517+6=23Minor SuccessYou wait for the pope is get a little more... Intoxicated, and go up and talk to him."Just wondering, your holiness, if I could have a moment of your time?"He looks up, nearly stumbling."What would you think about... Ethical Necromancy?"He puts his hand on his chin and thinks."Ye... Yeah... Doesn't sound too out there... I mean, what's the worst that could happen."Congratulations, you just fast-talked the Pope.Actions>Leave, your job is done... Also you want to rail Elizabeth.>Stay a little longer and talk to Hans.>Stay a tad bit longer and talk to Elizabeth.>Write-In
>>227916My dream of a skeleton workforce will soon come to fruition!And priests! Skeleton priests! To spread the word of god to communists!>>227918>>Stay a little longer and talk to Hans.>"What's the worst that could happen?"SKELETON PRIESTS, takin our jobs!
>>227918>Leave, your job is done... Also you want to rail Elizabeth.Oh he's not going to like what he said in the morning.
>>227918>>Leave, your job is done... Also you want to rail Elizabeth.
>>227918>>Stay a little longer and talk to Hans.Bro-up with him and further raise his devotion for you.
Rolled 1 (1d2)Whelp, rolling.1=Rail Elizabeth2=Stay longer and talk to Hans
>>227967>the baby is going to fucking die we are intoxicated with necromancy and our soul is broken you morons
>>227980>implying our spawn is that weak
>>227980Please. Killing a dragon baby, that came to term in two weeks? We'll be lucky that it doesn't pop an unplanned c-section ala Aliens.
>>227987>weaker than us, yes
You get back in the limo, and you two wait patiently for Hans. You pass the time talking about Alchemy and other books, and you unconciously say you foudn a book called "Dungeon's And Dragons". She nods her head, and seems like she's about to say something, when Hans jumps in the limo, holding a tankard of mead. You'd question where he got the tankard, but you don't care enough. The rest of the limo ride is just you three talking about Swedish landscaping thanks to an offhand comment from your driver about "crappy weather".You eventually arrive at the Palace, where you and Elizabeth eye each other, and you give a little wink to her. You both walk inside your lair.Roll me a 1d20+11 for how good the sex is. Also, if a anon could write the [NSFW] part, because I gotta make dinner for my child here in a few minutes.
Rolled 3 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>228004
Rolled 117 + 11 (1d120 + 11)>>228004
Rolled 16 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>228004LEWD:He held her hand, tenderly, and gently procreated in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation, if she wasn't already pregnant
Rolled 13 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>228017lol whoops.
>>228017Pretty good roll, too bad it's the wrong die.
Rolled 1 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>228004>roll for prosperity
>>228040Cannot stop laughing
Rolled 17 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>228040Nigga what the hell, you just killed our kidUSE BARBARIC
>>228040Back for a second, you guys want to use barbaric?>Yes>No
>>228040WE ALREADY GOT A FUCKING 16! WHY DID YOU ROLL!?
Rolled 3 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>228058>BREAK HER FUCKING LEG AGAIN. SEMEN OVERFLOW, RUSHES IN SO FAST IT COMES OUT EVEN FASTER! LEWD!!!
Whelp, reroll me a 1d20+11 for thisI'll lmao if you guys roll a 1 or a twenty.
Rolled 8 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>228083
Rolled 13 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>228083Dice gods have mercy on us.
>>228066>Barbaric>In a magically heavily pregnant womanNo. Just make it one sucky sex night
Rolled 1 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>228083>just in case I have to roll again, I mean I was only 4 seconds off but watevs
>>228089Too late!Also, that's how she got the kid in the first place.
>>228093What are the odds?
>>228093...I'm so sorry anon, but you have the curse. Please stop rolling for the rest of this session.
>>228093Why would you roll again when you got the first one, either we were complete shit or we just killed her or the baby.
>>228093Op pls.... she needs a good dickin
>>228108I'm hoping it's the first one...
>>228093Do you have some sort of inability to detect patterns? The nicest thing, the NICEST THING, would be we get erectile dysfunction.
>>228108Here's hoping we knocked her unconscious so she can't remember how utterly shit we were
>>228093Don't worry anon... Writing.
Fucking BUMP. No regrets, except if the baby dies
>>228119Maybe dying killed our ability to get it up. Wouldn't surprise me.
>>228148WHY ARE YOU GIVING OP IDEAS!!!
>>228148And thus began our single-minded obsession with fixing our soul
>>228155Because the alternative is worse to me.
>>228155>more fun that way :^)
>MinMaxing Kobolds for DnD: Nat 20>Fucking our wife: Nat1 + rerolled Nat 1It's like we're running on /tg/
>>2280931+11=12While you give her a good thrusting... You can't help but think about your true love, Adolf Hitler. You keep his visage clean in your thoughts, and whisper to your beloved..."Sieg... Heil..." over, and over again.The sex lasts all night, until she falls unconscious, from a misplaced struck to the head with your sausage. That'll leave a bruise. But you don't feel content just yet. You must go deeper. Eventually she wakes up, and in alarm, accidentally bites you in the dick. You cry for a while, luckily you lost nothing, it was just the shock of possibly losing Little Adolf.You are slightly worried you might of terrified your wife, broke her jaw, and hurt your sausage.Eventually, in the early morning, you wake up, and your wife is still sleeping next to you. You can still hear her snore. You would like to give her more... But you are unsure if you could give her more.Actions>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)>Attempt to give her a good tumble again. (Body, HARD)>Check your... Sausage, for any damages. (Necromancy)>Travel to Stockholm>Talk to Hans>Talk to your wife.>Talk to Brother Reinhold>Talk to the White Death>Talk to Anitta>Talk to Claw>Talk to one of your Concubines>Write-In
>>228209>Check your... Sausage, for any damages. (Necromancy)
>>228209>bless your noble soul op>fix our sausage
>>228209>>Check your... Sausage, for any damages. (Necromancy)In before he's sterile after becoming a zombie and shoots dead sperm now
>>228209>>Check your... Sausage, for any damages. (Necromancy)>Attempt to give her a good tumble again. (Body, HARD)>Body. Hard.
>>228209>>Check your... Sausage, for any damages. (Necromancy)
>>228209>Experiment with mutagens.
Roll me a 1d20+4 for Anus Circumference.
Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>228243
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>228243
>>228246>>228246We can make it stronger, faster, better... Harder.
>>228246>>228258Dragon Dick Necromancy Stronk
>>228246It is as the prophecy stated, you are the Necrobro, master of all things necromancy.
>>228265To think this all began with some dude talking shit about the Black Mark, and drawing the Ire of the NecroGods
I want to propose a project for our next study session. A shapeshifting mutagen. Giving the one injected with it the ability to turn half-dragon, but still shift back into human, and possibly dragonblooded, form.Any of you anons interested in us researching such a thing? We haven't touched mutagens in ages.>>228276Dude, I'm the guy talking shit about the Black Mark.
>>22824620+4=24Critical Success!You use Necrotic Healing on your sasuage, but for some reason, it starts growing, even bigger then before... And tougher as well. You can easily penetrate a woman with significant ease.The bell rings in your library, and you realize it's probably time to stop touching your sausage and rule.As you go outside, you see your wife is being carried out by four servants, and a servant is waiting for you."What is going on?""Your wife's water broke, sir... It seems that it was penetrated from the outside by something similar to that of a spear."Shit."Well, now."Actions>Accompany your wife to the hospital!>Fuck this, you're going back down in the basement.
>>228306>>Accompany your wife to the hospital!
>>228306>Accompany your wife to the hospital!
>>228306>Accompany your wife to the hospital!Shit, shit, shit, shit!
You accompany your wife to the hospital, who's still in an apparent coma, and eventually you arrive in the ER, patiently waiting...By patiently, I mean panicking like a motherfucker in front of the ER's doors."Sir, please calm down, your wife is in intensive care right now."Currently, you are fucking stressed out, and you don't feel like dealing with a nurse.Actions>Attempt to calm down, and sit.>Break through the doors! (Body)Get out of sight, and burrow beneath into the other side. (Agility)
>>228344>>Attempt to calm down, and sit.
>>228344>Break through the doors! (Body)
>>228344>>Attempt to calm down, and sit.This is what you get for being barbaric, now use your head and wait this time
Rolled 2 (1d2)You sit down, and attempt to wait.You twiddle your thumbs anxiously, and what seems like hours pass."Sir, just read a magazine."The magazines are crappy tabloids... Though this might be interesting, since you do control the tabloids.Actions>Read them... Could be entertaining.>Fuck this, you're breaking through those doors! (Body)Ignore my rolling
>>228381>>Read them... Could be entertaining.
>>228381>>Read them... Could be entertaining.Make sure your agents are doing what they are supposed to be doing
>>228381>Theorize what could be done with alchemy to get your mind off things
>>228397Cannot confirm or deny that.But yeah.
>>228407girl or boy
>>228397If that's what it was, I hope it is a qt dragon girl
>>228381>>Read them... Could be entertaining.>>228407If it's a girl we're gonna fuck it
You read the tabloids, in which a highly amusing article about the "dangers of communism" and whatnot. It's otherwise fairly boring, but the doctor comes in."Sir, your wife and child have made it. You can now see them."You anxiously walk over to the room...Would a anon roll me a 1d4? I just need one.
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>228421
>>228421Prediction:The 1d4 is for what form our child is born in. So with our 3 it's either half dragon or dragonblooded.
>>228428Thank you.You come in, and see a healthy... Baby Half-Dragon?"Sir, this is your son."His scales are red, and he looks up at you wishfully. Almost like he wasn't a killing machine of doom.Name him...>Reinhold>Charlemagne>Julius>Basil>Write-In
Waiting five minutes
>>228453>Ragnar The Red
>>228519That's bad, that's like naming your child Horus, but bad.
>>228528We're a dragon, with Barbaric as one of our traits, ruling a scandinavian nation. I would say it's pretty fitting.
Rolled 2 (1d3)Rolling.1=Juilius2=Charlemagne3=Ragnar the Red
>>228528Wait, derp me, was thinking of the Viking, Erik The Red.
Anyways, that's where I'm call it for tonight. I hope to see you guys later tommorow.
We should apologize to our wife for putting her in danger, and also for the lousy sex. Say we were really nervous or something, she might find the gap cute.
>>229498Question, QM, how long does it take for half-dragon babies to become men? Also, if we breed with one of our concubines, will we create stronger children?
>>230406I feel like breeding with our concubines would make horrible inbred dragon kids (they do have our DNA in them after all)
>>230506So? Wouldn't that be an advantage to us that our sons can't really usurp and in addition we have powerful killing machines? We could create a half-dragon harem of our children and replace humanity with half-dragons via incest.Besides, as the pope said, what's the worst that could happen?
>>230598we end up like certain royal families in Europe who were so inbred that they all had a spare chromosome.
I'm getting slightly concerned about the sanity of the players now.>inb4 this is 4chan
>>231492If you are only getting concerned about us now I worry for your sanity to not realise you are in an insane asylum where the door locks from the inside...
>>231503>>231503too truetoo true anonAt least little Adolf has been reforged in this thread. Next thread coming up soon.
Also, could someone please archive this?
Rolled 12, 7 = 19 (2d12)Last time, on European Dragon Quest we had sex with Elizabeth, fucked her up and little Adolf, had a son, who we were about to name when the OP got tired, and we got married to Elizabeth. We also recruited the White Death after giving him puppy eyes of dddooooommmmmm!Oh, and we became a D&D nerd.You still haven't made your mind up about your son's name. Your wife is unconscious, and in addition the doctors are (slightly) terrified of the fact that the baby is not human. Of course, you chuckle at the mortals dilemma, and excuse them from the room.You pick up your son, and he looks up at you, his eyes red orbs, looking playful towards you, and bopping you on the snout. Few things can make you smile, and you give a slight grin to this.Naming>Julius>Charlemagne>Ragnar>Reinhold>Gustavus>Richard>Marius>Beurgaimar>Viktaroius>Reveniaris>Write-InIgnore my rolling by the way.By the way, I'm still counting the names you guys voted for from last night, I'm just continuing here. Also, I don't think this is going to be a very long session tonight.
>>231647>reveniaris sounds closer to our name
>>231647>Erik the RedOP, I derped last session, the name I had in mind was Erik, after Erik the Red. Was tired and had too much Skyrim on my mind.
Going to wait twenty minutes for this, since it's pretty major.
>>231647>>231675>>231654I'll switch to >ReveniarisIf there's a tie, to break it. Though I'd prefer charlemagne due to our whole Catholicism thing we've got going
Alright, voting is ending in five minutes.
Looks like Charlemagne won.Writing.
>>231733Fuck, should have switched to Revaniaris as well
You whisper into his ear..."I shall name you... Charlemagne. Yes."The child laughs in your arms, and for a few seconds you just kinda... Stand there. You don't really know what to do with the baby, so you just put it back on the table.Within a few hours, you, your wife, and your child head back to the Palace...Actions>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)>Travel to Stockholm>Talk to Hans>Talk to your wife.>Talk to Brother Reinhold>Attempt to teach your child something...>Talk to Anitta>Talk to Claw>Talk to one of your Concubines>Write-InAdditionally, after this scene I'll be doing a three-day timeskip.>>230406Generally speaking, it took you a week to grow up, so for a half-dragon baby? I would say about three weeks or so until fully matured.
>>231767>>Attempt to teach your child something...Necromancy!
>>231767>Talk to your wife.We need her opinion on the concubines.
>>231775No, no, no, no and no. Don't make me get cursed with terrible dice by telling you how much I want to veto this.>>231767>Talk to your wife.
>>231767>write inTalk to anitta and get her to tutor little Charlemagne in magic
>>231785>Not introducing your son to the family business at a tender young ageCome on, man! Unlive a little! What could possibly go wrong?
Rolled 12 (1d20)Hang on, ignore this dice.
>>231794>What could possibly go wrong?Yeah... you're not really convincing me this is a good idea. Let's make sure our son at least gets to grow up and has his own little monsters before risking him getting a black mark.
>>231809First, we'll teach him how to make abominations of nature, then he upgrades to necromancy
>>231809Wait, is your objection to necromancy really "BUT MUH MARK"? Dude, the mark came from us crit failing our very first necromancy roll. Don't base you opinion on what MIGHT happen if we crit fail something, or else we'll never do anything ever.
>>231814Maybe? It's how we did it at least.
Rolled 2 (1d2)Rolling a dice.1=Teach a baby Necromancy2=Talk to wife about concubines
>>231817Mostly? Yes. Necromancy in itself is pretty damn cool, but it scared me how careless we were with that black mark despite it showing all the signs of slowly killing us, which is why I kept raising objections.And we both know how easy it is for us to get another crit fail on this.
>>231831>>231831Look, I won't push "MOR NECROMANCY NOW NOW NOW" but seriously, don't let the mark colour your opinion on necromancy, man. Plus, researching the mark is a GOOD idea. It's not going to go away, so it's obviously better to get to a point where we can control it.
You talk to your wife, still recovering from last night's events in your bed you (stole) from the guest quarters."Just wondering, wife..."Her eyes look up to you in curiosity, giving you a pleasant smile."What do you think about my concubines?"Her smile goes neutral and she somewhat shakes her head."I don't know why you need them, you have me after all, plus they're quite strange."Oh god, this could be a sore topic.Actions>Attempt to make her and the Concubines get along (Diplomacy, HARD)>Convince her that she needs to man up and get along with them. (Intimidate)>Kidnap and forcibly introduce her to the concubines. (Body)>Shit, do that thing that Claw did with his fucking eyes! (Charisma)>Write-In
>>231841>Attempt to make her and the Concubines get along (Diplomacy, HARD)
>>231841>Kidnap and forcibly introduce her to the concubines. (Body)We want her to accept them, not just tolerate them
>>231841>>231847wait, switch to >Attempt to make her and the Concubines get along (Diplomacy, HARD)
>>231839Well, as long as we keep it to our own mark and don't promote a mark in our son then I have no problem with that. We seem to have hit a point of no return with ours after all.>>231841>Attempt to make her and the Concubines get along (Diplomacy, HARD)
Roll me a 1d20+6 for talking.
Rolled 20 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>231854Come on, at no point was I suggesting we GIVE OUR SON a mark, that would just be utterly stupid.>>231857
>>231859Sorry, just got a little paranoid about your apparent recklessness with necromancy. Also, damn, you sure know how to roll 20s.
>>231859>>231859The necro dice agree...Writing.
>>231859I guess her fetish is having her husband have a harem. Best wife confirmed, NecroGods approve.
Foursome lewd scene pls op?
>>231865If anything, we can start off our son learning about Necromancy early specifically to PREVENT him getting a black mark, by showing him how to do it safely
>>231859>>231859You say the first thing that comes to mind."We'll compromise, I'll get the bottom, and you and the concubines get to share the top."She looks puzzled."Sure! You are quite... Too manly, after all. I would be glad to have other girls to help pleasure you..."You think your wife might just approve of having a harem. Fuck yes!You introduce this idea to your concubines, who quickly agree.It is night now.Actions>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)>Travel to Stockholm>Talk to Hans>Talk to your wife.>Talk to Brother Reinhold>Attempt to teach your child something...>Talk to Anitta>Talk to Claw>Talk to one of your Concubines>Go to sleep.>Give a good tumble to your wife and the concubines. (Body)>Write-In
>>231879>>Give a good tumble to your wife and the concubines. (Body)>Attempt to teach your child something...One after the other, of course, not at the same time.
>>231879Mutate. Also, what all happened in this thread?
>>231879>>Talk to your wife.She had a tough time, pleasure her in a non sexual way
>>231878Good point. Though I would love to get back to working on mutagens eventually. Making a shape shifting mutagen for Elizabeth would be pretty cool.>>231879>Give a good tumble to your wife and the concubines. (Body)It's the logical progression of events.
>>231879>Attempt to teach your child something...Its time to teach him to create abominations
>>231882Claw got the White Death on our side with the power of cute. We got married to the princess of England, met the pope briefly, and then we had our son.
Welp, roll me a 1d20+11 for giving your wife+concubines a good tumble. Lewd scene coming after rolls.
Rolled 2 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>231894Don't forget that we got the pope drunk and to agree to let us do some Ethical Necromancy>>231897>inb4 1
>>231894What is the White Death anyway?
Rolled 11 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>231897
>>231902Legendary Finnish sniper from the Finnish Winter War. Fucked us up and we no longer have a left eye.
Rolled 6 + 11 (1d20 + 11)>>231897>rolls a 1 for the laughs
Rolled 6 + 11 (1d10 + 11)>>231897May the dice bless me with snake eyes
>>231919We already got 3 rolls no need to continue rolling.
>>231907>>231907Is 22 a pass? Or will we need to use Barbaric, as is apparently a tradition with sex rolls?
>>23193022 should be a pass since it was a regular roll.
>>23190511+11=22Good Success!You decide to go to sleep that night... Though with some company. You invite your wife and concubines. They all agree, naturally.NSFW aheadAs you climb into the bed, you shift into your half-dragon form, and let your girls climb on top of you. They take off their clothes, remarkably, you note that your half-dragon concubines all have tits... Large ones indeed.Your wife cuddles with you, and you start off the session with Karolina giving you a blowjob, whilst Vilida and Emilia polish your scales... Eventually, Vilida and Emilia seductively cuddle next to you, and a slight purr comes from Karolina, and she gets off Little Adolf. Then, you motion for Vilida to receive her pleasure. Your mighty sasauge cleaves her open, and growls of "More! MORE! MORE!!!" fill the lair. Eventually, Villida is finished, and falls ontop of your wife, and both of them playfully fight with each other. You extend a claw towards Karolina and have a go at it. It is not as satisfying as Vilida, but her silence and absolute calm of will inspire you to reach new heights of pleasuring her. She gives a satisfied gasp, and gives you a quick kiss on your snout, before laying by your legs... Then, it is Emilia's turn. She, waits, hungry for little Adolf. You pleasure her well with it, and she moans in pleasure and gratitude. She falls down, and gives you an additional blowjob in the meanwhile... Your concubines and wife are quite satisfied, with your sexual... Presence this day. They cuddle tightly to you, with your half-dragon concubines giving a calming purr, and your wife tucked under your right arm, kissing you.Actions>Get out of bed and let the ladies sleep. You still have work to do.>You enjoy venting your... Inner frustration. Remain here further.>Activate your frost aura so they cuddle tighter to you.>Write-In
>>231954>>Get out of bed and let the ladies sleep. You still have work to do.
>>231954>>Get out of bed and let the ladies sleep. You still have work to do.It's time for SCIENCE!
>>231954>>Get out of bed and let the ladies sleep. You still have work to do.>>231954As much as I love the Frost Aura option, we need to teach our boy some magic!Introduce him to the family business of Highy Unethical Experiments! And Necromancy!
>>231954>>Get out of bed and let the ladies sleep. You still have work to do.And good thing he's undead for now, or else his extremely fertile sperm would be giving his son lots of brothers and sisters
Rolled 6, 10, 3 + 2 = 21 (3d20 + 2)You reluctantly get out of bed, your wife clinging to you. You give her a quick kiss (though it is more like a lick, with your snout) and head to your son's crib which you bought on the way back.There, your son is. Who barely fits in it, and is weighing it down so much, that it cannot cradle him.Actions>Teach him how to speak Draconic.>Teach him how to do Necromancy.>Teach him the basics of Alchemy.>Write-InIgnore my rolling.
>>231991>Teach him to make abominations of nature
>>231991>>Teach him how to speak Draconic.>>Teach him how to do Necromancy.
>>231991>Teach him how to speak Draconic.>Teach him the basics of Alchemy.>>231997Is that Alchemy or Necromancy that you're suggesting?
>>232002Kinda a little bit of both.
>>232007Please just alchemy because that's where you get the abominations of nature.
Roll me a 2d20+4 on teaching your child these things.First is DraconicSecond is Alchemy.
Rolled 10, 10 + 4 = 24 (2d20 + 4)>>232017
Rolled 3, 10 + 4 = 17 (2d20 + 4)>>232017
Rolled 20, 20 + 4 = 44 (2d20 + 4)>>232017
>>232040HOLY SHIT! What is with your dice!?
>>232040Your blessed by the dice gods like holy shit.
>>232040https://youtu.be/qqIGzce09cUsong relatedI think you just made your son a natural at this shit.
>>232040HOLY FUCKING SHITWE ARE THE *BEST* TEACHERFucking NecroGods love me, man. I'm telling ya'.
>>232048Fucking embed codes suck ass, meant to play Angus Mcfife from Gloryhammer.Writing.
>>23204020+4Critical Success20+4Critical SuccessYou take your child into the dungeon, and your not sure if it was the sex or your child is a goddamned genius, because in a matter of minutes, he's learned Swedish AND Draconic. Of course, not very well. But still, it's a great start.You take your child into the laboratory, and his curious eyes follow your hand motions. In a few days time, when he is a fully-grown child, he should be able to preform his first experiments with ease.CharlemagneNew Skill: Alchemy 2New Skill: Linguistics 2After this, you put your child in the crib, and head back to sleep with your concubines. You enact Operation: Ice Room and force them to cuddle up to you for warmth. Overall, you're quite pleased with today's events.When you wake up, you find your child running around the room, playing with a stick. During your sleep, he grew quite a bit, and an average human would call him a Toddler, rather then a baby. Of course, he's still rather clumsy with movement.You hear your wife in the next room yell something..."Oh my god! He's said his first words AND can walk!?!"Heh. He said his first words hours ago.Actions.>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)>Travel to Stockholm>Talk to Hans>Talk to your wife.>Talk to Brother Reinhold>Attempt to teach your child something...>Talk to Anitta>Talk to Claw>Talk to one of your Concubines>Write-In
>>232073>Attempt to teach your child something...He's ready for necromancy now.
>>232073>>Attempt to teach your child something...Necromancy.Also, shouldn't we get, like, a Teaching Skill from that double crit?New Skill: Teaching 2Or something
>>232073>>Write-InFamily time! Go be a family man and visit a beautiful place to have a picnic
>>232082Good point, added it.
You decide to teach your child something...Teach (Pick 2)>Swordfighting>Firearms>Necromancy>Alchemy>Diplomacy>Intimidate>Brawling>Conversion>Tactics>Linguistics>Reading>Write-In
>>232092>Reading>NecromancySince everyone else seems to want it, let's get it done.
Roll me a 2d20+2 for teaching.1st is Reading2nd is Necromancy.
Rolled 18, 7 + 2 = 27 (2d20 + 2)>>232103
Rolled 16, 19 + 2 = 37 (2d20 + 2)>>232103
Rolled 18, 20 + 2 = 40 (2d20 + 2)>>232103>inb4 double 1's this time
Rolled 16, 20 + 2 = 38 (2d20 + 2)>>232103
>>232109THE NECRO GODS HAVE GIFTED OUR CHILD WITH NECROMANCY!
>>232114Man, if god exists in this universe, clearly he approves necromancy
>>232109>>232113>>232114Check that auto-updater. DOUBLE THE NECRO-CRITSWe should rank up our teching because we're apparently the god-damned fuckin' BEST.We Great Teacher Renixizious nao
>>232109What the fuck is with your dice.What the fuck is with this child and necromancy?
>>232123The NecroGods approve of bringing our son into the family business of creating unholy Holy skeletons in the name of God
>>232132>Rens face when this is him min maxing his son in real life.
>>232123Our child is the chosen one. Where we failed, he shall succeed. Where we had a mark of death, he shall have a mark of life.
>>232132Friendly suggestion, since our son is so talented we should learn enchantment with him as well
>>232109>>232113>>2321132020Double Critical Success!18+2 for Reading!Your son is a fucking natural at Necromancy, hell, he summoned his first permanent undead by waving generally at a Half-Dragon experiment who committed suicide, and ordered him to "guard him and papa!"You're really fucking proud of your son, since he now has a personal bodyguard who can't complain and will guard him until he is literally destroyed.Charlemagne's Spells>Raise Dead, 24 Hours>Raise One Blackguard>Necrotic Bolt>Raise Skeleton>Necrotic HealingYour son also takes to reading quite well...It seems you have some more time to spend with your son, or do something else.Actions>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)>Travel to Stockholm>Talk to Hans>Talk to your wife.>Talk to Brother Reinhold>Attempt to teach your child something...>Talk to Anitta>Talk to Claw>Talk to one of your Concubines>Take your son somewhere, he shall develop his personality there.>Write-In
>>232136Oh my god, can Minmax apply to this? Oh man, that would make so much sense.>>232140Clearly, we need to set him up to become the next NecroPope
>>232143>Take your son somewhere, he shall develop his personality there.
>>232143>>Take your son somewhere, he shall develop his personality there.To church, make sure he's not a heretic and all. Then the tabletop store because DnD is made by an Archmage and is totally magic.
>>232143>Take your son to be baptized by Brother Reinhold, or the Pope if hes still in town Or is he going to be a part of the Church of England I'm not sure how this works
>>232136Oh wow, didn't think of that.>"So you see son, when you were born, all the d6s came up sixes.">"All of them?">"All of them.">>232143>Take your son somewhere, he shall develop his personality there.
>>232149I think Gygax is blessing our rolls.
>>232156We should absolutely bond with our son over games of DnD. It would be abso-fucking-lutely adorable
You decide to reward your son with spending some quality time with his father...Locations (Pick four)>The Throne Room, you shall teach your child how to be just (Charlemagne will either become Just or Cruel.)>The Church to be baptized. (Charlemagne will either become Devout or Zealous.)>To the Tabletop Store! Excelsior! (Charlemagne will either become Nerd or Calculating)>To the fucking library! You'll read books & shit!(Charlemagne will either become Scholarly or Booky)>To the gun-range! You'll shoot guns and shit!(Charlemagne will either become Gun-Lover or Militant)>Take him to see a friend, or make a friend tag along!>Write-In
>>232174>>To the fucking library! You'll read books & shit!Gotta make him brainy while he's young
>>232174>>The Church to be baptized. (Charlemagne will either become Devout or Zealous.)>>To the Tabletop Store! Excelsior! (Charlemagne will either become Nerd or Calculating)>>To the fucking library! You'll read books & shit!>>To the gun-range! You'll shoot guns and shit!Don't really want to chance him getting the Cruel trait, desu.
>>232174LibraryTabletopThrone roomGun range
>>232174>The Church to be baptized. (Charlemagne will either become Devout or Zealous.)>To the Tabletop Store! Excelsior! (Charlemagne will either become Nerd or Calculating)>To the fucking library! You'll read books & shit!>Take him to see a friend, or make a friend tag along!We need to show him off to Hand or Claw.
>>232174>The Church to be baptized. (Charlemagne will either become Devout or Zealous.)>To the gun-range! You'll shoot guns and shit!>To the Tabletop Store! Excelsior! (Charlemagne will either become Nerd or Calculating)>To the fucking library! You'll read books & shit!
>>232181Well, maybe we should minimize that risk by taking him to see a friend then?
>>232174>Take him to see a friend, or make a friend tag along! Either have Claw or Hans tag along>The Church to be baptized. Make whoever tagged along be his godfather>To the fucking library! You'll read books & shit!He seems to like books>To the Tabletop Store! Excelsior!Hes clearly blessed by RNGsus
Looks like Library, Gun Range, Church, and Tabletop Store wins.Writing.
>>232193Could we have claw tag along to the tabletop store? Would fit in without impeding father-son time imo
Rolled 2 (1d2)You take him to the library first, since it's closer.You decide to show him your favorite literature, in particular... Mein... Kampf...You have to resist the urge...Actions>Read him Mein Kampf.>Read him one of your Magic Books...>Read him some classic literature, such as H.P Lovecraft...>Read him some of your other political theory books.>Read him the D&D 3.5 Player's Handbook.>Read him some actual literature, your general history book.>Write-InIgnore my roll.
>>232214>>Read him the D&D 3.5 Player's Handbook.The only real option here
>>232214>Read him some actual literature, your general history book.Also, seconding this >>232199
>>232214History, political theory and magic baby.In that order
Interesting, roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can teach your child anything history.
Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>232239
Rolled 8 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>232239>inb4 nat 1>inb4 "History According to Dad">Literally just us talking about how cool we are and the cool shit we did>The fight vs. White Death was a fist fight where we beat him into dubmission
>>232249Looks like here comes the min part of rens minmaxing.
Rolled 14 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>232239
Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>232239SALVAGE THE SITUATION!
>>232249Well, our streak couldn't last forever I guess.>>232258Well said.
>>232249It would be funny to see what happens if you use barbaric to teach something
Sorry, back.>>232249Use barbaric?>Yes>No