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2100 years ago, Human World...

Best time of the day!

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#notallwizards

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Some years later...

Whups, I am being called away.

I'll be back around 21:00 UTC to resume Jara's quest.

>>134893
>Valley of secret shames
Wow, I guess they are secret because you throw them there expecting them to die.
Also the wizard is looking pretty based.

Wow that's a bitch fucking mom.

Wizard best boy.

>>134893
She shall be named henceforth as Evil Boobies and go down in time as such.

>>134931
This is depressing, also if things pan out as they seem to be Evil Boobies is going to be single handedly responsible for nearly all misfortunate in this quest to date

>>134919
Gotta admit, I'm a little bit confused on this one. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be read left side top to bottom, then right side top to bottom and left to right, right? What are the three little speech/sound bubble things in the top left? "Fire! Fire! Fire!" ? Is the boy shooting a target? Is he yelling out "Die!" or something like that?

>>134931
Or was the kid yelling out a curse word or something? The wizard slapping him makes me think that maybe the kid was swearing as he blasted the target thing. It think it might not be as clear what people are saying because this is the first time that we've had so many story pictures at once, since we usually had 1-2 pictures at a time with lots of text accompanying them. Or a couple action scene pictures with no dialogue. Gotta say though, stellar job on the drawings, OP. Really digging your art style.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
But yeah, man, this stuff is looking great, well worth the wait. Fucking hyped, man :^D

>>135536
"I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be read left side top to bottom, then right side top to bottom and left to right, right?" Oh, ffs, just realized what a clusterfuck of a sentence that was.

read left half top-->bottom then right half top-->bottom, correct?* (hopefully that makes more sense)

>>135321
Yeah... poor baldy wizard-man, probably never had to take care of a kid before this one. Got to have been tough for him.
I wonder if the kid is gonna become the new wizard, and he's the one that's in the story later on with Jara?

Since this takes place in the past its probably introducing the villain of Jara's modern time.

>>134919
>>135558
Sorry for any confusion--that one should be treated like two pages split down the middle. I should have broken it into two files.

>>135536
He's training with conventional fire magic, then he uses some kind of forbidden magic to obliterate the target. The baldly wizard takes offence to this, and makes the rash choice of slapping the boy and snatching his staff away.

Then he offers him ice cream, which--in these stressful circumstances--becomes his trigger.

>>134931
This is so gonna end in tears

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>134931
rolling to prevent misery

>>135811
yeah, better roll those 1's now.

>>135811
Yay

>>134875
Alright, the abridged recap is up for anyone who wants to catch up:

http://imgur.com/a/pCgzp

>>135811
your roll has helped me make a decision about how this backstory goes, FYI

>>135835
read with this music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmpLf3QPdB4

>>135124
>Evil Boobies
From what we know about the breastplace, there is at least one evil boob.

Did I kill Yessir? I need to know.

>>135841
for fucks sake.

>>135927
You'll find out in this session when we return to Jara. Just need to wrap up the backstory first. It's important for Jara's current situation.

So... How's everyone doing?

Oh boy. Why do I get the feelings that there will be feels?

>>136118
Roll a d10, if <= 5, there will be feels.

Rolled 8 (1d10)

Oh shit.

Aw, no feels. :(

>>135637
>>135650
ohhh, ok, got it. Thanks, man.

>>135841
>>135948
I literally said the exact same thing out loud when I read this. Guess Baldy's not long for this world, huh?

>>135811
>>136160
How will these rolls reconcile?
Perhaps we should roll to find out.

>>136160
We did it, we saved the world.

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>136155
>>136160

No feelings. Only cold, brutal, heartless reality.

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>>136160
>>136204
>>136168
I lied about the feels. There was always going to be feels.

Oh shit. Feels confirmed.

>>136225
does that mean "best friends forever"?

No, it means Tom Childson and Jared Fogle forever.

>>136257
He's saying Oedipus did nothing wrong.

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OH SHIT, THAT KID IS THAT WIZARD GUY FROM THE 4 PANELS AIN'T 'E?

>>136225
Oh, shit, his mecha-leg-splint-things broke apart! He can walk again! It's a miracle! And whodda thought, all it took was a little bit of black magic and possbily an old bald wizard's soul!

>>136225
Geez, what a little ingrate.

I'm calling it, the kid is the wizard guy.

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>>136257
"You are my son, and I love you. Forever."

>>136225
For a second there, I thought old baldy had grown some hair, but then I realized that it was just his soul being torn from his body. Not quite the same thing :^)

HE EVEN HAS THE FUCKING STAFF FROM THE 4 PANELS! HE'S THE FUCKING WIZARD GUY! HOLY SHIT!

>>136311
Ahhh now I see

(And with that we're ready to get right back to present day!)

>>135587
>>136308
>>136326
Called it B^)

>>136308
I thought that was obvious from the third image in this thread.

>>136335
So did Jara get to see all this too, in like a quick flashback thing or something from touching the staff?

>>136335
So out of curiosity what would have happened if we rolled differently? Would the Older wizard from the past be the Hooded wizard from the present?

>>136311
He. Is. So. Grounded.

Alright, when we left there was an arrow in the air headed in the general direction of Yessir, the mecha-Demon archer.

Roll a d10.

1: Yessir is pierced through the skull.
2: Yessir is pierced through the eyepiece.
3: Yessir receives a glancing blow to the skull.
4: Yessir receives a glancing blow to the eyepiece, disabling his augmentations.
5: Yessir takes the arrow in his arrow-shooter arm.
6: Yessir takes the arrow right in his crotch.
7-8: While turning to duck, Yessir takes the arrow in his backside.
9-10: The arrow misses Yessir altogether, landing harmlessly in the ruins beyond.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>136368

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>136353
This backstory seems to have been planned beforehand, so I don't think so. OP asking for rolls was just him fucking around with us.

>>136368

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>136368

>>136371
get rekt!

>>136353
I was undecided whether the boy or the older wizard would end up getting absorbed into the staff. The boy would have triggered his own absorption, and the older wizard would have gone dark over the years with guilt. Either way results in a fun story later on.

>>136371
YES I finally made it in time and was here to roll! I did a roll!

Oh... of course it's a 1... gee whiz, sorry about that Yessir

>>136371
Alas, poor Yessir!

Rip in pieces.

>>136371
Ice cold. Okay, let's see how it plays out.

Welp. I think I killed him, along with 3P+Stxdx. We did it, dude.

He's a mecha-demon, so perhaps he's not dead yet. Definitely rekt though.

why the long faces? I think this is a victory. He was a bad guy after all

>>136412
>why the long faces? I think this is a victory. He was a bad guy after all
We don't know that for sure! He could have been a complete bro if we had time to get to know him.

plus he has a wicked cool design

Hmm. This "low numbers=good results" method is working out I see.

>>136391
Fuck yeah! We got 'em, OJ :^)

Though, I almost feel kinda bad for Yessir, I mean, he accidentally killed himself with his own arrow. That's a pretty embarrassing death. Maybe some demon-bard will write a song about him or something, and he'll be remembered through that

>>136225
>>136311
Things did not have to conclude in this manner all that was needed was an ice cream cone and not to be dumped down a ravine.

>>136398
Quite right. Merely being pierced through the brain may not be enough to dispatch a mecha-Demon.

Somebody roll a d5, to see how Yessir's brain injury turns out:

1: He is effectively dead. They'll need to turn him undead back at the Mecha Factory if they want him back in the field.
2: We've struck his amygdala, which has dredged up all kinds of emotional memories for him. He's unlikely to want to fight or take orders.
3: We've struck his frontal lobes, turning him into a drooling dope. He will still take orders but the execution will probably leave something to be desired.
4: We've separated the two hemispheres of his brain, resulting in a limb he can't control
5: Brains are for idiots. He's totally fine with this. 'Tis but a scratch.

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>136460

>>136445
All we needed 1820 years ago was to use the ring, see how that went.

>>136466
Impressive.

>>136466
>Black_Knight.jpg

>>136466
Note to myself: never reveal your intentions to the dice

OH THANK FUCKING GOD! I DIDN'T KILL HIM! YES!

OFFICIAL STAFF COUNT:

SPIRAL STAFF - Origin: as the wizard's own staff, probably created by his father. Current location: in the demon realm with demon!jara

GEM STAFF - Origin: as the wizard's father own staff. Current location: the wizard's lair

SPOKEY STAFF, HORNY STAFF, HANDY STAFF: Origin: unknown. Current location: the wizard's lair

I am now PK, to celebrate not having killed anyone. You can decide what it means.

>>136466
THE DICE GODS CAUGHT UP WITH OUR PLAN

So... What now?

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"Yessir! Your head is pointier than usual!"

"Oh this? Nah, this is fine boss! I took worse nicks in training! Just ignore it!"

"I'm back here, Yessir."

>>136581
Now we see who or what the Goreiphant has been transformed into by the latent energies of the staff. Drawing as we speak. Then we'll decide it's/his/her nature, and after that it's mostly going to be free action city all week as I've been railroading too much.

>>136591
keep the arrow at least. It's looks badass

>>136591
Oh wow, Phineas Gage over here lol

>>136591
>I took worse nicks in training!
The survival rate of the trainees must be pretty low.

>>136628
They can make new mecha-demons from spare trainee parts.

>>136607
? What do free actions have to do with railroading ?

>>136628
>>136637
How do you think Yessir lost his arm and eye?

>>136643
Free actions? All we've done is roll on predetermined options.

>>136663
Jara turning totally flat was a free action.

>>136663
Oh, ffs, I'm stupid. I thought he meant he has been riding on trains too often lately, like literally traveling -_-

>>136643
>>136681
Yeah, exactly. You guys can inject more flavor into the story than I can. It's lazy of me to try and jam everything into my 'vision' for the story, and detrimental to the fun levels. I mean, I'm having great fun drawing this stuff and running a universe in my head, but I'm not sure if the fun is distributed evenly among everyone else. So I'll stick to being 'the universe' and let you choose whatever you want.

>>136721
Oh OK, got it, man. Yeah, I think that us choosing an action from a set of actions, like when that guy rolled a 10 to "claim the staff," is a really nice balance between your vision and people's interaction. People can choose which path to take, but you still forge the paths, so you still retain visionary control or whatever, and the story has a more consistent tone while still being very interactive.

>>136721
Personally I like at least some guidance though. Else it can end up pretty random.

>>136721
>>136755
I was just confused before by the word "railroading." According to google, the definition of "railroading" as a verb as being to "travel or work on the railroads" is a North American specific thing. I thought maybe you meant that you were gonna be on trains for most of next week, so there wouldn't be as many drawings or something like that lol

>>136721
It would be nice to have some "vote options" too. Like when we have to choose a location to go for example.

>>136788
Fuck that shit. Trust in the dice.

>>136788
strawpoll

>>136788
Yeah, that would be cool. I mean, it wouldn't go along with the will of the dice thing, but maybe it'd be worth the sacrifice for decisions from a list of choices, at least.

or maybe it would just anger the dice gods and all would perish

>>136818
eh, it's kinda nice to keep it in the thread, especially for the archives and stuff. He could do it like where he waits a set amount of time, like 20 min or something, and then tally's up the votes

>>136763
>>136788
I like it when the OP gives suggestions but the players are still free to do something else.
That way people are given ideas on what to do next but something different from what the OP thought can happen.

>>136799
Do you really trust the dice after the past two threads.

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The mass of the Goreiphant is transformed entirely into something new. A man stands before Jara, seemingly intermingled with the staff, which has sprouted a few bright green leaves.

"Did...did anybody else see a hooded guy?" asks Louie.

"Jara, back!" says Leandros. "This is some new mecha-Demon trick. We have to run while we can! Into the wastes, I know all kinds of hiding-places!"

Clearly this is the wizard Jara saw during that long and excellent flashback while her consciousness was smeared over the universe in the split-second she was in contact with the staff. But is he friend or foe? Does he have any idea who he is? What kind of power does he possess?

Gimme a second and I'll write up a roll list for the wizard's powers and disposition. In the meantime, roll a d10 >= 7 and describe your free action if you want to do anything before the strange wizard can act. (You can always choose to wait and see what we roll.)

Rolled 1 (1d10)

Get ready to defend yourself just in case.

>>136842
not a good sign

>>136842
This is fucking impossible

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>136832
Shake baldy's hand, and introduce ourselves. He did seem like a fairly nice wizard guy in that flashback, after all.

>>136832
Clearly he's not evil as Louie is confused (as in not recognizing evil). Let's get along with him.

>>136825
>Do you really trust the dice after the past two threads?
Yes, and you should too.

>>136849
I mean, besides hitting the kid, ofc. But it seemed like he just acted rashly with how to discipline the child.

>>136832
To be fair, it doesn't seem like he's bald anymore! That's something good for you after being trapped in a staff for a couple thousand years, right wizard-man? He's got some shrubbery hair now! :^D

>>136769
Oh, you must not be from /tg/. See here:
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=railroading

Let's decide how much the bald wizard remembers about himself, if anything. Roll a d5.

1: He's a blank slate at the moment. As far as he knows, he's just winked into existence fully-formed out of nothing. His head is full of thoughts that don't feel like his own and he will be helpless until he can organise them.
2: He's retained much of the Goreiphant's memory, as well as its resentment towards Jara. The wizard and Goreiphant personalities have merged.
3: He's well aware of who he is, but the last thing he remembers was bringing lunch to his son. He has no idea of friend or foe, or even if this is real.
4: He remembers everything, and is terrified of Jara for reasons we will discover later.
5: He remembers everything, and is delighted to see Jara, for he recognises something in her.

Rolled 2 (1d5)

>>136870

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Rolled 1 (1d5)

>>136849
Looks like we'll be shaking his hand (or trying to) nomatter how the dice fall here

>>136875
I don't know how I got that to work so perfectly.

>>136873
>>136878
well, fuck

>>136873
FOR FUCKS SAKE.

>>136873
Ouch, ok. Not an ally then. But not allied with anyone else. As I see it, the Goreiphant had just as much reason to hate its mecha-Demon masters.

I don't think this handshake will go well, but maybe trust can be earned.

>>136860
What do you say now?
>>136875
>>136885

Alright, I have to leave it there for the evening--tomorrow we have a momentous handshake, and probably a father-son moment now that Leandros is out of the crawler pod.

>>136870
>>136873
Well, shit. Shaking his hand doesn't seem like such a hot idea now. Hopefully the wizard's personality can somehow be separated from the goreiophant's later.

Does the goreiophant even remember Jara? After dying hundreds of years ago and then being brought back from the dead and turned into a cyborg? Or is the resentment just from the recent traumatic events that the goreiophant went through with the staff and all that stressful stuff?

Also hopefully the wizard's personality can rationally decide that his resentment towards Jara is irrational. Maybe? Hopefully?

>>136869
Ohhh, OK, thanks, man. Yeah, this is the first quest that I've read since the begging, (well, besides that Hotline Miami one, but sadly it looks like that one is gone for the time being), and the first one I've participated in.

>>136935
We'll roll for the specifics tomorrow. My gut feeling is that the Goreiphant's personality will not dominate this new union, as the baldy wizard is likely to be a very powerful personality with a long history of his own. It may simply inform him through instinct. But you know what they say--a Goreiphant never forgets.

Thanks to everyone for indulging me with the wizard's backstory today, my hope is that it rounded the character out a bit and perhaps even hinted at a weakness...

Also, for lore purposes: I am certain that the Arzelus breastplate found in the fungal tower is the very same one the wizard's mother wore. How it came to be there, we can only imagine. Also unknown: how the wizard came to gather all those staffs, and how he came to favor fungal architecture.

>>136895
My opinion has not changed. We've been rolling badly since the beginning, and things have been great so far.

>>134875
wait a second.... i know your art...


are you abraxa?

>>138751
stop

>>136494
Please go back to OJ. Don't tempt fate with... Player Killer.

>>138751
No sir, I'm just a nameless anon with a Wacom, trying to put some time into drawing instead of Kerbal Space Program

>>139818
then i apologize, your style was similar to his tho.

keep it up, anon!

I'd just like to quickly clarify some motivations for characters in case they aren't clear.
The motivations aren't particularly deep or multi-dimensional.

The 'Wandering' Wizard: he's all about the domination of the Valley of Secrets through sheer magical superiority. Suppressing other magic users. Collecting cool staffs. He went to the Demon Realm at least once in the 20 years after Jara's first death, probably in search of greater magic, and lost his first staff on the way (or maybe his first staff worked hard to lose itself). He has an interest in Jara since her physical form survived for hundreds of years in his fungal tower, her demon form seems to have remembered her human life, and she seems to encounter his lost staff with some regularity. He probably has mother issues and PTSD.

The Bald Wizard: a healer, possibly very ancient. Not much else is known about him. He rescued the Wandering Wizard (then just a sweet cripple boy) when he was discarded into a ravine. Raised him until his mid-teens. Was trapped in the staff for 2090 years by a transformation/soul-fixing spell the Wandering Wizard found in the back of a book of dark magic. He loves the Wandering Wizard even now, and probably wants to see him again and give him a stern talking-to. Currently he has no staff of his own, but he seems to have been bonded with the curly staff (and a Goreiphant!) at a molecular level, so it's impossible to guess what kind of power he wields.

The Goreiphant: now subsumed into the Bald Wizard/Staff personality, the Goreiphant was once a wrathful creature, responsible for the deaths of hundreds of big-assed girls over the centuries. His stone skin meant that he lived in constant agony, and the armor meant that he lived for a long time. The staff embedded in his chest maintained him in a shambling undead state when his natural life finally ran out. Later he was found by mecha-Demons who decided to use him as the basis of a war machine.

Leandros: a scavenger, working in secret in the ruins of Ass City for a secret cadre of Asstolocists. He was there seeking something in order to withhold it from the mecha-Demons. When he found Jara he realized his destiny was to return her to her people. There's a chance he might try to return her to the Asstolocists against her will, if she decided to take another path.

Louie: Jara's sentient snake tail. He has an evil disposition, but it seems to manifest as a kind of self-preservation and unabashed selfishness. During the Many Planes Hiccup Event he appeared in the Wandering Wizard's tower, for reasons as-yet unknown. Perhaps he has some deeper connection to the story than we know--they say there are no new souls born in the Demon Realm, and he should be no exception.

Zombie-Jara: Jara's human body has no will of its own, but it is moved around by three sub-sentient croctopus tentacles grafted to it by Star-Nosed Mole doctors. The tentacles like solving puzzles and finding food. Last we saw, they have the keys to the cells of the Freak Circus hidden somewhere on Jara's body.

Zombie-Jara is currently locked up with some other 'freaks', and we will find out about them later. One of them is a Half-Demon Boy, which throws up some important questions about how he came to exist. All I know is that his mother was a dark-haired village girl with big breasts.

Demon-Jara: she remembers her human life as an adventurer as well as her demon one as a shit-farmer. She'd like to get back to her human body somehow, especially now that she knows it's still alive out there. She has a mild beef with Arzelus that she'd probably like to settle at some point, seeing as he killed her and apparently trapped her in the Demon Realm. Technically her quest is still 'restoration of attributes', which means she'd like her human body back and her breast/ass balance to be restored. She does not know that so much time has passed since she used the staff on herself, but she's slowly figuring it out.

Arus (right-hand head of Arzelus): partially mechanised by demon technology, now rid of his bumbling brother Zel. Going under the name of Mecha-Arzelus, even through the Zel portion is now just a drone core. He seeks the Human World Portal device that the scientists of Ass City were working on at their technological height. The portal would allow demons to enter the Human World with their physical bodies, instead of just manifesting in temporary spirit form or possessing lesser beings and manipulating their bodies into their demonic shape. The portal nears completion--only a few components are yet to be found.

Rolnedas: estranged son of Leandros, and self-named Lord of Scavengers. He has been instrumental in the location of the parts of the Human World Portal device. He left the family salvage company twenty years ago when he learned of his father's involvement in the forbidden religion of Asstolicism. He joined the mecha-Demons and rose quickly through their ranks. The dice will tell us more about him down the line.

Zel (left-hand head of Arzelus): now surgically 'liberated' from his brother in a weak exoskeleton/life support system, and happy to run errands for him. He misses his brother and wants to set things back to the way they were.

Yessir: honestly, he's just happy to be here, firing arrows at things.

Gert: Jara's brother, once a proficient self-taught sorcerer, trickster, and alchemist, now a revenant obsessed with finding his sister and 'fixing' her. In the meantime he has 'fixed' hundreds of girls throughout the Valley of Secrets, leading to the creation of a huge Revenant Zone where girls simply do not go (unless they actually want to encounter him).

Nothing is yet known about Jara and Gert's ancestry, only that their family was probably a fairly loose one.

>>140057
>>140060
>>140062
Thanks for that.

>>140062
By fixing girls does he make their tits bigger?

>>140079
That is correct.

>>140085
Requesting a follow up image of the panic at gotnoh tata's

>>140088
That's a request I'd be happy to fulfill.

>>140057
>>140060
>>140062
Another productive day at work, OP?

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>>140062

>>140096
You know it.

>>140098
This is a cool surprise, I love it when no planning whatsoever comes together

>>136225
What if the guy's favorite thing would have been ice cream if he ever had some, but now he never will or will he

It's time to decide some things about the Baldy Wizard.

His name is Cornichon.

Roll to decide his disposition towards Jara. The original Cornichon was a peace-loving healer with a dark tendancy that he desperately worked to suppress--that would explain his reaction to seeing it in his student and son. Mixing in the Goreiphant might awaken some of his old habits.

Roll a d3.

1: He hates Jara with a passion he doesn't quite understand.
2: He is deathly afraid of Jara.
3: He is wary of Jara, but his wizardly senses tell him there is some goodness and power in her.

Let's decide his disposition towards the mecha-Demons. Roll a d3.

1: They kept the Goreiphant alive in agony for centuries. Taking down the mecha-Demon airship and factory are his main priorities.
2: They trained the Goreiphant hard. He is afraid of crossing his mecha-Demon masters, but perhaps Cornichon will be able to overcome his fear.
3: He has nothing but respect for the mecha-Demons, and considers them his allies unless they do something to change that.

There's more to know! Roll a d3.

1: Cornichon is just totes, totes gay.
2: Cornichon is a boob guy.
3: Cornichon is an ass man.

How about his magical tendancy? Roll a d3.

1: We're dealing with Dark Cornichon now, an echo of a time when warring wizards carved the Valleys themselves with stray blasts of offensive magic.
2: Neutral Cornichon is all about trickery and shields of pure force, skills he honed while surviving after the Wizard Wars.
3: Light Cornichon remembers his centuries spent as a healer; his spells are of the restorative variety, and has sworn off everything else. Unraveling curses is his specialisation.

Magic is no good without attunement with a staff. He is the staff now--but that's not something they practice in Wizard School. Roll a d3.

1: He has no idea how to use a staff that is bonded with his body (not yet, anyhow) His magic is weak at best. Perhaps he can draw his full ability out through instinct.
2: He can use magic, but it costs him dearly in terms of stamina. Using a single strong spell could knock him out cold.
3: He can use magic more freely than he's ever known. All the old limits imposed by the Wizard-Staff interface have been lifted.

Finally, let's decide on Cornichon's power of flight that we saw in the flashback. Roll a d5.

1: Cornichon has forgotten how to fly.
2: Cornichon can leap a few hundred yards at a time, at great cost to his stamina.
3: Gravity means nothing to Cornichon. He can fly indefinitely, but still needs thick atmosphere to breathe.
4: Cornichon can teleport to anywhere within his line-of-sight.
5: Cornichon can teleport himself and others anywhere within his line-of-sight.

So that's five d3 rolls, and one d5 roll. Separate rolls limited to one per player as before. If I don't have enough rolls before this evening I'll lift that restriction. I'll take the first five d3 rolls and the first d5 roll that I see after this post (I don't care if the d5 roll comes first)

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>140462
Rolling for the chance he impregnates us while we're fertile

Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>140462
Please dice gods something good!

Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>140462
Ass man please.

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>140462

>>140467
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT WHY NOW?

>>140464
>>140467
Oh shit guys. This isn't necessarily a disaster as the hate is not absolute and there's no guarantee the mecha-Demons will accept him.

>>140481
If only I was a bit faster. We would have been golden :(

>>140472
Ass man it is. Who knows what sway it will hold over him?

>>140473
Trickery and support magic should be fun.

Rolled 3 (1d3)

Hopefully he's shit at magic!

>>140494
Hahahaha

>>140486
i hope i didnt get us infertility..

>>140494
never reveal your plan to the dice gods! NEVER!

Rolled 4 (1d5)

Well I hope he can't teleport!

>>140507
NEVER!

>>140507
AHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHH\HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA

>>140507
lern2red
>>140503

>>140507
It's one per player so it doesn't count.
Would be pretty fun though.

Alright! To recap, Cornichon is a Jara-hating, demon-aligned, ass-loving, all-powerful teleporting trickster.

Good rolls guys!

>>140520
Oh shit you're right.

Still waiting on that d5 then.

Rolled 4 (1d5)

>>140529
Fuck it let's go

>>140536
>>140507
doble confirmed

>>140536
Hell is real and we live in it.

>>140536
It sure seems like the dice gods want a 4.

>>140536
I won't be drawing until later so there's plenty of time. I just want everyone to have a chance to contribute a roll.

>>140553
why dont you roll once for us op? its been awhile since you got to get in on the action, and you ARE a fifth person who hadnt rolled. just sayin.

>>140553
>>140557
If the next one is also a 4 I'm going to scream

Rolled 3 (1d5)

>>140462
>>140557
Alright. Just this once.

>>140561
pls upload for us all to hear such brilliant maladies.
im just in this to get jara pregnant.

>>140566
Demon Jara or Zombie Jara?

>>140565
Alright. He's a Jara-hating, demon-aligned, ass-loving all powerful FLYING trickster mage. That seems fine.

>>140565
Well at least it's not teleporting.
>>140575
Do you accept bribes?

>>140565
>>140566
Seems I don't have to scream, although it's not much better. Should I upload a half-scream?

>>140575
As an ass-man I'd say the ass-loving trumps everything else.

>>140578
Get oudda here. This is a respectable establishment, we run a clean game. Cleanest game in town. Only the dice hold sway here.

>>140566
> OP will remember that.

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>140462
still need one more d3.

Well, if we can find the wizard maybe we can get him to kill Cornichon. Hopefully we can appeal to him at least since he hates his former master. Just as long as we prevent any "My boy, I'm so proud of you" familial bonding.

File: dice gods.png (31 KB, 981x722)

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Meanwhile, at Dice's Phanteon...

>>140614

I appreciate it, but I think we got the 5 d3's required already

>>140464
>>140467
>>140472
>>140473
>>140494

>>140622
I'm willing to make these the in-canon gods of the Many Planes.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>140622
rolling for decahedron for the nature of consent in Decahedronisa relationship's with Pyramodin's sister.

>>140629
That's my boy

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>140620
rolling for love hate relationship
1. they love each other
2. they focus their emotional instability on us instead
3. they hate each other

>>140635
Yeah, yeah that makes sense

>>140626
Do it. "Jara vs the Gods" sequel incoming. Revenge Kratos style.

>>140603
Oh no.
to be fair I'm here to get her huge tetas

>>140635

HAHAHA WHY ;_;

>>140642
Clearly the gods, for some reason, hate Jara in particular with a furious passion and have singled her out for millenia of torment.

Somehow killing them should become our new quest/motivation.

Just FYI, this thread has now been added to the archive:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Jara%20and%20the%20Valley%20of%20Secrets

>>140717
>Clearly the gods, for some reason, hate Jara in particular with a furious passion and have singled her out for millenia of torment.
This is like reverse Ogre Quest. Instead of being Stupid Lucky, we're just Stupid.

I'm thinking Arus didn't need to replace the Zel part with a drone. The arm and chest sure, but the head was useless.
Since Arzelus is the whole thing with two heads, it's possible he replaced it so people would recognize him as Arzelus. This would also explain why he's going under the name Mecha-Arzelus, insted of Mecha-Arus.
What I'm saying is, if this is the case, in a possible future battle against him we would only need to take his fake head off so the demons recognize him as an impostor. We would also be helping Zel this way.
Of course, Arus might have used that head to look cooler and I'm way off, just wanted to share this theory.

>>141356
Dawwww...

>>141356
He isn't truly evil.

What's with the Taco Face girl?

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>>141512
It's a mushroom prostitute

>>140585
Yeah, especially since we apparently have something approaching the best ass in the universe. :^)

I'm afraid Cornichon may be overcome with conflicting emotions once he sees our ass. "How is it that I came hate the bearer of an ass so fine?"

>>141625
That's how he'll realize there's something wrong with him. The ass cannot lie.

>>141667
Yeah, but that ass came at a great price. R.I.P Breasteses.

>>141356
the good feels ;_;

>>141670
With breasts you need a breastplace and with a breastplace you get a demon who absorbs your soul.
With even a stone ass you get a religion of peace and can entice powerful wizards.
Breasts lose pretty hard.

>>141356
"lactarius deliciosus"

File: valley_of_secrets_67.jpg (260 KB, 709x570)

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>>136849

Before Cornichon has a chance to take in his surroundings, the strange flat girl in front of him thrusts out her hand in a universal gesture of friendship.

An electric sensation of revulsion rises in his newly-formed stomach.

Time to roll to see how Cornichon reacts. Roll a d5.

1: Cornichon's autonomic nervous system is tied closely to the magical fibers of the staff, and he reacts by using some form of magic upon Jara (we'll roll to see exactly what).
2: Cornichon throws up an energy shield, knocking back everything around him for twenty yards.
3: Cornichon blasts into the air in order to better understand his surroundings and situation.
4: Cornichon uses a chameleon spell upon himself and vanishes from the field--we'll roll to see where he reappears.
5: Cornichon shakes her hand, slowly and with much trepidation. He doesn't understand why he's in full fight-or-flight mode.

Rolled 2 (1d5)

>>141864

Rolled 4 (1d5)

>>141864

>>141866
Energy field it is. Let's see how it goes.

Well shit.

>>141887
Hang on, it could give us an opening to flee, since the Mecha-demons will also be knocked back.

>>141864
>Cornichon throws up an energy shield, knocking back everything around him for twenty yards.
Does that include the bad guys?

Maybe she falls in a way that exposes her butt?
Maybe as an ass lover he knows the rarity of a butt with a snake as a tail?
This could go well actually.

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BADUMMMMPFFF

Jara and Leandros are knocked back in the direction of the mecha-Demon squad.

In that instant, Rolnedas recognises his father. Yessir raises his arrow-arm to shoot, but Rolnedas bats it out of the way. "Hold!" he shouts. "I think we have a bigger problem!"

Yessir nods and takes aim at Cornichon.

Zel laughs at all the cool lights.

Two rolls needed.

The first is a d2: if 2, Cornichon notices Jara's ass while she's in midair.

The second roll, a d2, decides if Yessir fires his arrow. If 1, Yessir's arrow-shooter misfires. If 2, his arrow flies true in the direction of Cornichon.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>142039

Rolled 2 (1d2)

The crawler pod may have been freed-up by the blast.

I actually need another d3:

1: Jara and Leandros are knocked out.
2: Leandros is knocked out.
3: They both land on their feet, ready to take action.

Rolled 1 (1d3)

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>142047

>>142044
Cornichon is too busy to notice the astonishing ass tumbling in the air before him.

>>142046
Yessir fires his arrow. We'll see how Cornichon reacts to it.

Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>142047

>>142047
Jara and Leandros both land on their heads, dazing them. "Get up," wails Louie. "Get up, there's some serious shit going down!"

Sadly, the mecha-Demon team and Cornichon will both have a chance to act before your free turn.

Hold on a sec, drawing...

>>142053
>>142054
Does Louie get knocked out when Jara does?

>>142054
Why

>>142055
Wait, so he fired an arrow AFTER the energy shield blast? Otherwise, wouldn't the arrow be knocked away by the blast? Is it a conventional energy shield, or just a temporary knock back kinda one?

I forget, did Louie see the flashback too, or was he just in the wizard's fungal chamber thing while Jara had a vision of the far past?

>>142075
Temporary, reactionary, knockback variety.

The arrow was loosed after Jara and Leandros got tossed.

>>142067
No, Louie's awake.

>>142089
Louie was in the Wizard's Chamber long enough to have a look around.

>>142095
>>142098

Ohh, OK, gotcha, thanks.

>>142039
Also, really nice overhead view; kick-ass job of illustrating the scene and where everything is.
{ :^)

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Cornichon uses a transformation spell to recombine the molecules of the arrow into a harmless shower of autumn leaves.

Roll a d3 to see if he reconsiders his allegiance with the mecha-Demons...

1: No way! Yessir didn't mean it. Yessir fed him peanuts just the other day...didn't he?
2: He has no idea who to trust now, and chooses to withdraw from the fray.
3: Well those guys are no kind of friends at all. Maybe he was hasty with the girl...she did try to shake his hand after all, and there was something about her...

Rolled 2 (1d3)

Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>142203

God damn it, I ruined us ;-;

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>142203
Luck be a lady tonight.

>>142209
I hate you.

>>142209
Withdrawl it is. Let's see how that goes...

Maybe this will create a third story line, following Comichon

>>142209
Well, it could have been worse I guess....

So, how is your day going, guys?

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>>142209
Cornichon saunters away to a nearby 'hiding place', from which he can watch the goings-on.

Everybody can see him.

Rolnedas is faced with a conundrum. He has standing orders from the big boss to track and capture anomalies of all kinds. But then again, his father and some oddly-proportioned girl are starting to stir in front of him.

Let's roll to see what he does...a d3 please...

1: "We'll continue to chase whatever the hell the Goreiphant just turned into! Nu-Zel, switch to capture rounds! Yessir...um...just guard these two!"
2: "Damn it...you two go after him. I'll deal with these two."
3: "Forget these two...they don't look like they're going nowhere. We need to chase the pale guy!"

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>142373
please

>>142378
Is this even statistically possible?

Okay. That's actually not bad.

>>142401
but it's the worst option.

>>142417
I don't know, Rolnedas doesn't seem like someone I'd want to guard me.

>>142432
But he's Leandros's son after all. Yessir is only a maniac who likes to shoot arrows.

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"Um...neither of you move! Alright? We're gonna wait until my friends get back. That goes for you too, Miss...unless...unless you never want to see your husband? Or maybe your boyfriend?...again!"

Free action time.

Leandros has a tire iron.

Jara's not carrying anything except a little puppy fat and toned muscle around the hips.

The crawler pod is probably within reach, but there's no telling if it will be able to right itself.

Or--whatever you want. The whole world is open to you, assuming you can get away from Yessir somehow.

It'll work like this--I've got to hit the sack now--but I'm going to try a 'popular vote' and just get a feel for what the people want to do. So there's no need to rush your response. Ask questions if you need to. Once there's some kind of consensus, we'll roll to see how it goes.

(This is an experiment, if this doesn't work I'll just go back to rolls >= 7.)

Let's just talk with Yessir, strike up a conversation, and listen to some of his stories.

>>142493
tell yessir you're single and flaunt that viewtiful booty to entice him then while he's under your charms get him to help you with the pod so you two have somewhere to "talk ;)"

Also, you forgot to draw the arrow in his head.

>>142493
move the arrow in his head to adjust his alignment, like an old TV antenna.

>>142514

Seconding this. If Jara truly has a god-like ass capable of causing the rise of a whole religion, then she should have a huge charm bonus when she shakes that ass

>>142518
Ah. Just imagine it's there. This is one-pass drawing, no backsies

>>142525
So, like, force him to join our team? Maybe.
>>142514
Although, this sounds like it would be a better option to get him on our side.

>>142545
why not both? Leandros could grab the arrow while Yessir is distracted by Jara's ass.

>>142559
This man is a genius.

>>142559
Yes, seconding that. Godlike options.

>>142559
booty cometh before the fall

>>142559
>>142573
>>142584
Alright, I'm going to call that a consensus. Worked ok. We'll play tomorrow to see how it goes--I'm sure everything will work just great, dice willing...

It's been yet another fun night guys, thanks for playing!

But what happens if Leandros is distracted by Dat Ass ad well?

>>142627
Fair point, we'll do a distraction roll at some point in the action. Good looking out.

>>142625
>I'm sure everything will work just great
I know!
>dice willing...
FLAILING AROUND IN PANIC INTENSIFIES

>>142627
>>142627
>so... this is the power of the Divine Ass.

Sounds good.
Good night.

>>142044
ARE
>>142046
YOU
>>142053
FUCKING
>>142209
KIDDING
>>142378
MEEEEEE

>>136832
>>142039

HE'S HALF MAN

HALF STAFF

AND HALF PIG

okay now that the silliness is out of my system

i really like all the characters who are a part of this, and want them to become our main crew. The dice gods dun fucked up Cornichon but we can still salvage things with him and the others one at a time, and Yessir shouldn't be too hard to turn.

a fuckin boar-staff-Magic Man dealio is a pretty cool Gandalf is all I'm sayin.

>>142493
Louis bites him. What a bad baby.

>>142627
He probably will, as he is a follower of the ass religion. We should tell him to look away when we start the seduction.
Just hoping Louie won't fuck this up somehow.

>>144187
I guess Louie is a boobs-man all the way. Either that, or he just hasn't gotten a chance yet to REALLY take a good look at the ass he's above. I mean, he can't see it when she's sitting down, and it's pretty much been gogogo since they were un-statuefied

File: drunkard slut.png (93 KB, 825x600)

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Keep it up guys, this might be the saddest quest on /qst/ right now.

>>144295
I just want Jara to be happy ;_;

>>144295
Being reincarnated into a dump bug eater demon and then turned into obsidian statue for 1800 years is not that bad...

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>>144202
>Louie is a boobs-man
snakes can't be boobs-men or ass-men, they prefer girls who are slim as a board with no curves.
I mean just look at a female snake, they got no curves!

>>144429
I see only a curve there.

>>144460
Clever

>>144460
I call upon thee oh mighty dice gods! How should we roll to determine the seductive power of our bountiful booty upon this unsuspecting snake?

Maybe the rolls will be in jaras favor today.

>>144563
Who are you trying to fool buddy?

Just for fun, roll d5
1: Since Louie was carved to mock the ass religion, he dislikes ass.
2: Louie doesn't care about ass, but realizes Jara's ass can be exploited for evil.
3: Louie is a snake, so he doesn't care about ass.
4: Louie likes ass.
5: Louie likes ass so much he'll do whatever he can so it's always exposed.

>>144573
Yeah you're right she's cursed with 1 rolls for eternity.

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>144589
Come on gimme a 5

Rolled 3 (1d5)

>>144589
Faivo gettu

>>144593
Oh fuck.

>>144593
Yee boy

Rolled 3 (1d5)

time for a 5 roll

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>>144593
is this canon now?

>>144589
>>144593
> OP will remember that.

>>144614
I hope.

>>144429
Good point, but
>>144460
Louie isn't just any old ordinary snake, he's a magic snake. Plus, he's sentient, unlike most snakes, so he's not some dumb beast that can't behold beauty in it's eye.

Also, some might argue that Louie is a reptile, and therefore would not be attracted to mammalian qualities such as boobs. However, note that Louie is attached to a demon-form of a mammal, i.e. he is part of a a kind of mammal, i.e. he is a mammal?

>>144558
I think this calls for some dice, my friends.

Your benevolent OP here.

>>144613
This doesn't interfere with my sacred and very important plans for the ass-snake, so I'll allow it. But I still reserve the right to ignore player-submitted canon.