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And now:
You’re sat in a small patisserie being operated by goblins.
> Huh, who knew they had this shit going on?
You tried to ask them for some coffee and a croissant, but they just gave you a dumb look.
“Wat?”
> Stupid fucking goblins.
> They only thing they’re serving is damper filled with honey.
> Nothing else.
> Fucking Phillistines.
> They’re also Green.
> The opposite of Blue.
> My feet hurt.

You might as well have some so you nab some damper and start eating.
> What was I doing here again?
> Oh yeah, mountaineering.
> Fuck, I get distracted.

What now?

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>129586
Uh, see if we can get us a goblin waifu? I know that was a thing some guys wanted to do. Make it one without blue hair

>>129629
Alright, Give me minute.

>>129629
Nice

>>129668
Incidentally Jazz, since you're filling in, are we still able to use those coupons we have? I still have mine saved up.

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>>129668
Fuck this noise, you've got a harem to build. And those tight little goblin asses aren't gonna plow themselves.
You run out the patisserie, knocking over a few goblins along the way. Down the hall you see a Light.
> Fuck it.
You burst into the room and point at the best-looking goblin there.
> YOU! YOU'RE GONNA FUCK ME!
Oh shit. It's the chief. The one you still haven't apologised to for your violent outburst earlier.
She gives you a silly grin.
"You wot? Ya think you got what it takes? Fuk off ya twat."
Everyone's staring.
> Please?

The Chief pulls another Gob from the crowd.
"Ere', Beck, you tries 'im first".

>>129712
Yes.

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>129725
Wait didn't we already bang the chief last time? Regardless, she wouldn't join us because she doesn't wanna leave her shinies. Fine, we please Beck as best as we can.

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>>129760
Only had her eat our jizz

Beck waddles up to you. You can't see in this light, but you're pretty sure she has a bob of black hair and blue eyes.
>Goodenough.jpg
You greedily smile and crouch down to meet this Gob at eye level. Goddamn she's a nice shortstack.
You're just about to whip out your cock when she slaps you across the face.
> Ouch?
You stand up, annoyed at this treatment, but she kicks your legs out from under you and hops on top.
"You aint's gonna enjoy this, but I sure will."
> I'm Sorry?
All the other Gobs are cheering now. Or is it jeering?
Beck pulls down your pants.
> Micropenis
> Oh shit, it's not even hard.

Beck pulls out a cane from somewhere, and slaps you across the ripcage.
> Fuck that hurts.
> Do I need to do something here?

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>129802
Restrain her with tentacocks.

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>>129802
Lack of traffic means I'll just get on with the story.

Gobs rush you, and start to tie you down.
> What the shit?
You struggle against the ropes, but they got you good. Beck has started going for the balls.
Oh god, she's tickling them.
> Boner engaged
Fuck it.
Out the corner of your eye, you spot Zan and Nellia watching from the entrance.
You give them a look, a plea for help.
They just smile and wave.
Beck has started going ham on the shaft.
>Houston, we have penetration.
Good god, she's both jiggly AND tight.
>Fucking greenskins. Always so aggresive.
She whips you again.
This is gonna take a while.

An hour later, covered in bruises, you emerge. You look at the the Chief.
> I'm sorry.
She nods.
"So How'd ye like me gal? A piece of work that one, huh?"
You nod.
"Oy, Beck! Show this lad out the tunnels."
> Oh no.

You return to your wives.
"That was... impressive to watch James", says Nellia.
> Don't start.
You wander off down the tunnels and get ready to leave.

>>129905
The girls are gonna have a field day with this one.

>>129961
One wife is enough of a problem, 5 of them is 5 times the amount of nattering. There's only so much poor james can take.
Where are we headed next? The Blastlands?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRwYQgk05DY&index=9&list=RDmREi_Bb85Sk

>>129983
I believe that's where we were heading next.

>>130018
On it, cap'n.

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>>129905
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mREi_Bb85Sk&list=RDmREi_Bb85Sk&index=1

After a few days of running around dark caves, You finally get a glimpse of what it was you've been searching for. And holy shit, is it dissapointing.
You emerge from the cave and see... Nothing. Nothing but bare rock, for miles. You can see mountains stretching either side of you, and in the distance to the north, but everything else is just jagged, cracked rocks.
> Well, this was a bust.
Galla looked ready to snap and eat us, Harpies probably weren't meant for underground stuff.
> Oh well. Hey Nellia, what is this place.
She looks at you oddly.
"The Blasted Lands. The site of an ancient war between gods. Or at least, that's the legend."
Great.

Beck yawns.
"Alright, I got you here, now I'm headed back."
> See ya...
>Wait, is that a shadow?
Before you can react, Beck dissappears, swept of her feet by a great winged beast, which caws.
Everyone freaks out. The Aalna is muttering about how we need to save the Goblin, Zan is distracted by the shiny wings, The elves are ducking for cover, and Galla is just twitching, unaware of her surroundings.
But you, the thing on your mind, is how nice the ass was on that dragon.

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>130131
welp. I guess we should chase the dragon.

Have Galla fly up and watch where the dragon lands. The rest of us will head that way on foot.

>>130162
I'm down with this

>>129580
third thread: https://archive.b-stats.org/qst/thread/65577
fourth thread: https://archive.b-stats.org/qst/thread/96808

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjsNNcsUNzE&index=2&list=RDmREi_Bb85Sk

>>130207
Thank you kindly, I'll go with your suggestion.
>>130162
However, due to poor roll:

You sidle up to Galla.
> Hey bby, could you go fly up after that dragon?
She slowly looks at you like that girl from the ring, and sqwarks horrendously.
She then continues to suffer bird-ptsd.
Welp, until she gets over her experience in the caves, she ain't gonna be much help.
The least we can do is run after the dragon. With no plan. And no equipment. And only the Orc seems to be following you.
Oh well, Dick magic hasn't failed you yet.

You follow the dragon to a large hole in the ground. At the bottom looks like an oasis, and the entrance to it's den.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>130232
Try to climb down? I assume you aren't doing the 'First roll gets +5 thing?

>>130244
Not enough traffic. Likely a result of timezones. I'll just go first come first serve, and rolls will determine the success you have in accomplishing your suggestion.
In which case...

>>130244

Aalna; "Well, what now?"
> What do you mean? We just climb down.
"Uh huh. Well, you first then."
> Honestly.

You get down and get a foot hold over the sheer drop.
> This'll be fine.
> It'll be great.
You continue to think this as your foot slips and you begin to fall.
> Shit. At least there's water at the bottom.
> It isn't water.
> It's glowing crystals.
> Spiky glowing crystals.

> Well fuck. What so wht do we do now?

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>130328
well, from the harpy ritual we should be lighter. and we still have the same surface area, so our terminal velocity should be slower.
not sure how much that will help with the spiky crystals though

try to shoot our Splooge Cannon downward, both so that we slow down from the recoid, and so there's a layer of jizz covering the hard crystals

that should lessen the fall a little bit

It would also be nice if Zan or Galla came and helped us...

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>130347
I'll back this but roll in the hopes of getting something better than 4

>>130363
Surely they will. Nothing like some big damn heroes moments

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>>130347

You get a brilliant Idea!
> Dick Magic!
While it's true that you have the Harpy ritual, that only lightens your mass, you will still fall the same speed, and maybe hit the spikes with less force than otherwise. So, It's time to whup out the D.
You attempt to focus and furiously masterbate in freefall.
Despite the terror, you actually manage to get hard. However, you probably aren't going to Splooge in time.
Now would be a great time for Zan or Gallia to come to our rescue...
>>130366
> Oh

Within half a second of hitting the spikes, you get off a massive surge of spunk, Slowing your descent just enough to spare you the worst of the impact. That doesn't stop you from rolling down a mound of really sharp crystals though.
> Mybeautifulface.tapestry

Once at the bottom, you sit up, covered in cuts and scrapes. You aren't out of commission yet.
You look up to see Aalna monkeying her way down the side like... monkey. She lands deftly and gracefully and, once making sure you're okay, snorts in amusement.

Now, for the Dragon.
The entrance is before you, and it don't look too friendly.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>130518
We may want to wait for the other party members before facing the dragon.

>>130518
fuck, how do I roll?

>>130575
Options field of comment + dice+1d10 = Rolled comment.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>130585
test

>>130591
>>130585
can i use this roll? if i can, then can we have Aalna and James wait for the crew like the other dude said?

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>>130555
Alright.
Beck might be getting her face eaten right now, and that dragon ass might be getting cold, but it's best we not be idiots about this.
Let's wait for the others to catch up.
> Waiting.
> Waiting.
> Hey Aalna, do you have any magic that could help against a dragon?
"I doubt it."
> Any advice?
"Don't make it go feral. It could get bad if that were to happen."
>Hmm

After while, eventually, more wives turned up. Namely Zan and Vanyal. They also had no difficulty getting down.
> For Fucks sake.
Neither was particularly eager to confront a Dragon, but what did they know.
You have dick magic.
It'll be fine.

Also, roll for Beck's survival chances.

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>130652
I don't even care if she dies

>>130652
d100?

>>130652
are there dragon girls?

>>130682
Would have been best but I didn't specify, so >>130680 gets the roll.

>>130688
There is a Dragon Girl. Singular. So far there hasn't been any males, and I don't intend to rock the boat. Yet.

Now, How do we go about this?

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>130652
ask Zan and Vanyal where Nellia and Galla are

>>130739

> Yo Zan, Where the others at?
"Nellia is tending to Gallia until she no longer suffers psychosis."
> Well, that explains that.

>>130760
how big is the dragon? Like, is it just a bit larger than a normal person, or is it a fuckhuge dragon

>>130791
Roll 1d20 to find out, son.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>130798

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>130760
Rush her. Have Alana and tsun elf flank the dragon while Zan holds her with her magic. We'll get Beck out of there while she's held.

>>130800
Only slightly larger than you. Not even as tall as Aalna, but still really fucking dangerous.

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>130800
I assume that means it's fairly small (for a dragon. so still bigger than us)

Lets have vaynal go in front and cast a forcefield to block the dragons attacks (I assume vaynal can do that, since Nellia can)
Zan can try to slow/immobilize the dragon with her magic, and Aalna will run up and grab Beck from the dragon once we get close enough.
James will shoot jizz at the dragon from the back lines

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>130813
Time for diplomacy?

>>130841
After Beck isn't a snack. Considering the barrenness, dragon girl might just be lonely and out of practice with social stuff.

>>130884
>>130838
doing this could get the dragon into feral mode though

>>130897
Hm, that's a good point.

Maybe we shout at the dragon once we're close enough. Ask her to give Beck back, because we like Beck. see how that goes.
Still make sure Vaynal is in front with her forcefield up though, just in case.

And if the dragon isn't in to diplomacy, then we attack.

>>130897
Well, she kinda started that way. I'd feel better talking to her while she's restrained.

>>130945
Not opposed to this, though.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DohRa9lsx0Q&index=14&list=RDmREi_Bb85Sk

>>130812
You explain the plan to the others.
> It's time.
You charge into the gaping maw of the Dragon's Den, screaming like a lunatic and windmilling your arms.
Inside you spot the Dragon atop a pile of bones and gemstones and other shiny things. She's currently playing with Beck, tossing her up into the air and catching her, however she stops when she sees you.
Beck is still alive at least.
The Dragon raises a scaly eyebrow at your assault and spits fire at you. Thanks to >>130838, Vanyal pulls up a forcefield to stop you dying horrendously.
> What a tsun bitch.
You knew she secretly appreciated the D. What a gal.
Zan casts her Mato Magic, and the Dragon is slammed against the far wall, surprised by the attack and unable to move.
Meanwhile Aalna sprints for the Gob and dives, tackling her out of middair and somersaulting to a stop before sprinting back.

Great, Mission accomplished.

>Wait a sec.
The Dragon breaks out Zan's spell like a it was made of paper. Surprise has worn off. She's angry.
It's game time now.

> We're fucked.

>>130945
no, only attack in self defense, we have to do diplomacy for this, she's possibly the only dragon girl, so we don't want to kill her. And we don't even know if Vanyal can do magic like Nellia.

>>130982
FUCK
should we roll to see if she's in feral mode?

>>131006
Go nuts.
1d2.
That's not a typo. Odds your safe, Evens you're fucked.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>131012
lets pray, boys

>>131035
You're fucked.

Now what?

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>131035
I think this call for some next level penis magic. Lets see if we can learn a new spell

Try to completely cover the dragon with jizz so she can't see and her movement is impaired.
Then run away

>>131050
resort to cock magic. cum on the dragon to calm her down. what do we roll?

>>131065
All this time she was hungry... for love.

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>>131054

> Okay.
> It'll be fine.
> You have dick magic.
> It'll be fine.

Dragon Girl roars and you hear a cracking.
She's... transforming?
She's getting a lot more scaly, and bigger, and hornier.
> Ayy
She is definitely more monster than girl at this point. You didn't know this could happen. Can every monstergirl do this?
> No idea.
She lets loose a billowing inferno against the roof of the cave.
> That's really hot.
> Not in a good way.
> But you have dick magic.
> It'll be fine.

You put all your faith and energy into your dick, praying that it will do something cool. It begins to glow.
You focuse harder.
It becomes large. Larger than you remember it ever getting.
> Fuck yeah, Dick Magic!

You can feel the power within!
The Dragon is just about to Fry your asses!

You splooge.
It's biblical.
Both you and the Dragon are knocked out by the Biblical Bukkake.

When you awake, everything is dark. The wives are gone, and you can't see the Dragon.

What just happened?

Gain 300 EXP. (1000/1000) LEVEL UP!

Roll 1d20

>>131251
can't we see in the dark due to the wedding ritual with Galla?

>>131288
It ain't that kind of dark. It's more... level uppy.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>131251

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>131299
try and gain a sense of our surroundings

>>131307
You look down at your penis.
It's... Golden.
> Wha?
It's also giving off a calming radiance.
> The hell?
You can already feel the cuts you got from the crystals stitching themselves back together.
> Neat.
But you lose your concentration. And your hard on.
It collapses back to it's usual unimpressive self.
> Huh.

>>131329
You get up and try to clear your head. You succeed, but only in getting back your bearings. You're somewhere in the den, but you don't recognise it. Maybe...
No. You'll have to find your way out.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>131382
try and find our wives

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>>131446
You clamber about the Den, following a wall in an attempt to find your wives.
Instead you find the Dragon, still in her feral form.
She appears to be unconcious... But she's also blocking what you recognise as the exit.
> Oh boy.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>131490
try to climb over her without waking her up

>>131502
> Well Shit.
Might as well try to get around her.
> Activate stealth mode.

You slowly and carefully climb over the Dragon, somehow managing to not wake her up while doing so.
However, just as you're about to drop down, you slip on some spunk, tumbling and landing with a thud.
This arouses the Dragon.

> Time to run.

>>131535
>This arouses the dragon
>But also arouses the dragon

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>131535
calm her down while slowly backing away. Use cock magic if necessary.

>>131568
backing this one

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>>131568
You back away slowly.
She hasn't quite woken yet, but, in case she does, now's the time to talk it out.
But not yet. For now, you just get out of there.
After an age of quietly extracting yourself from the Dragon's Den, you finally see the sunlight at the top of the sink hole.
You can even see the shadow of Gallia flying high above.
You wave her down and she picks you up.
"That was a Dragon, right?"
> Yup.
"Wow, James, you're kind of a badass."
> You better believe it.

You hear the Dragon roar.

> Actually, fuck that. Let's go. gogogo.

You manage to get back to the cave entrance where all your wives are waiting for you, looking somewhat worse for wear.
But, hey, you're back! That's what matters.

Beck the Goblin is thankful for our valiant efforts. However, she's making it clear that she just really wants to go back home. So, we probably won't have much luck convincing her to come along. Honestly, you kinda feel the same way. It's probably time for you too... too...
> Blackout.aiff

What's teh next major plan of action?

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>131688
dick Beck to convince her to stay with us. Make sure to use cock magic this time, since we didn't last time we fucked her

>>131307
Does...does this mean we ascend to a higher form?

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>131688
Take that hoe back home.

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>>131706
Wait!
The pursuit of Lust waits for no man!
You pull yourself out of the throes of unconsciousness and throw yourself at Beck.
This time you're certain to use dick magic.
Your penis grows mighty and Golden, and Beck begins to back of warily.
Then it hits you. This surge of Rage, rocking you to the very core.
You WILL make this Goblin yours!
You let out a roar and charge the Goblin, and she jumps back in terror. Aalna is once again quick to tackle you, but it's different this time. Your penis shines and gives you strength, and with one great strike you send her flying.
You WILL have this Goblin!
The others are seriously concerned now, and throw themselves onto you.
>FUCK!
You continue to advance towards Beck, who is backing away at an increasingly steady rate.
You show no signs of stopping, until you see Zan.
She steps between you and Beck and presents herself to you.
>FUCK YES!
You immediately slide your girth into Zan, ensconsing your shaft to the hilt. She lets out a shuddering gasp. You push her to the ground and begin rocking too and fro, plunging deeper and deeper, in complete control. You feel her supple flesh, hear her breath and experience the building pressure.
Beck has dissappeared from view at this point, but you have no sense of anything outside Zan at this exact moment.
You feel it rising, and like the tide you let it forth, filling her.
Zan mews quietly.

> Oh shit.
Immidiately after climax you regain your faculties.
> What just happened?
Everyone is staring at you. Beck is nowhere to be seen. Zan is still mewing.
> I just fucked up.
> Big time.

And with that I think I'm gonna wrap up today.
I've got some things that need doing.

Here's the updated stats:
LEVEL: 2
EXP TO NEXT LEVEL: 2000 (0/2000)
ACHIEVEMENTS: Attained level 1, Attained Level 2, Attained Golden Cock
CLASS: Cock Mage
SKILLS: Golden Cock of Healing
SPELLS: Cock Growth, Twin Dick, Tentacock, Splooge Cannon, Yggdrasil (Novice), Biblical Bukkake
HAREM: Catgirl, Orc, Elf (Megane), Elf (Nazi), Harpy

Damn, was kinda hoping we got dragon waifu

>>132103
Maybe she'll wake up and decide that she enjoyed being covered in our cum, then find us and force us to marry her.

Also hoping that the flamekin we jizzed on finds us again. Hopefully she'll have gotten pregnant from last time, and want to help us on our journey.

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>>132103
She'll turn up again. But she might require a little more delicacy to woo than just about any of our other conquests.

>>132749
If you want, roll a 1d3 to see if she actually got pregnant. Only a 3 will count as success.

But we've got a few more cute girls to see before then: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tc8iu0XFUQc

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>133288

Rolling for the impossible

>>133388
Damn, only a 2

I might pick up again in about 2 hours, and go for another few hours after that before sleeping because I come from a land: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfR9iY5y94s

If I don't, I'll probably be back around at 8:30pm GMT. Be there.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-dxDrzmO-Q&index=1&list=RDY-dxDrzmO-Q

The next day, you find yourself having cheered up considerably. You weren't at fault for yesterday, it was all that dick magic.
All the same, your wives have been glancing at you constantly for the past while.
> Worrywarts
You've been tekking along this mountain path for a while, headed east, towards the rising sun. You didn't rate your chances crossing the blastlands because, apparently, there's worse out there than a fucking dragon. There also isn't any water along a trip that takes at least a week. So you might as well go around.
You aren't certain where your headed, but with your wives at your back, the sun to your face and the cool breeze from the valleys below, you're sure it'll be fine.
That said, you think you smell smoke.
>It might be time to get a move on.

Where are we headed?

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>133721
to the smoke

>>133774
where there is smoke there is a town, with peopel and people we can bang

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>>133721
>>133774

> It don't matter where you're headed.
> What matters is the journey.
> Yeah
> That smoke does smell good, though.

You try to pick up the pace a bit. The wives follow suit.
Looking around, you see a thick woodsmoke cloud blowing down a valley to the south. It's really thick and you doubt that whatever's on the other end of it is good for you. Not to mention the smoke itself is making it hard to breathe.
You're right along the tree line, too, so the fire will probably be right up your alley. Fun.
> Still, gotta check it out.
You start jogging along the path towards the fire, however, you're met with a surprise when you turn a sharp corner...


Please hold...

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You are stopped in your tracks by a group of... Skeletons?
> Oh shit
> Fight mode engage
Your wives also arc up a bit at the Skele's, Vanyal in particular.
"Human! Stay back! The undead are dangerous!"
> Thanks?
> Wasn't gonna touch 'em anyway, too spooky.

In response the Skeletons rattle humourously. However, instead of attack, the lead one holds out a note.
You cautiously take it.
Opening it, it reads:
> GREETINGS PROPHECIED ONE.
> YOU HAVE BEEN INVITED TO DINE AT THE HALL OF THE MARQUIS OF DARKNESS!
> REFUSAL IS NOT AN OPTION.

Ah, okay then. That makes plenty of sense.
Of course.
God damn, you are spooked.

>>133806
well then of to dine at the hall
but is there any shops near by so we can look better? and who im i to dine with?

And that ends my work for tonight, just wanted to set up that particular story beat for tomorrow. I need to sleep now. Toodle-loo, see you in the morning.

>>133808
You'll have to wait till tomorrow to find out the answers to those questions. I've gotta sleep now.
I really just wanted to set up that plot point before going to bed.
Toodle-oo.

I'm even repeating myself. I need to sleep.

>>133818
sleep man, night

>>133818
sleep tight, jazzman

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So, we're about to meet the Marquis of Darkness. I'd like to get a thing or two sorted out.
How do we feel about loli?

>>135842

Ehhhhhh

>>135842
its ok

>>135842
If we just take them along as daughterrus I'm okay with it, but otherwise, I'm leaning on the 'no' side.

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>>135867
>>135885
Great! Roll a 1d2

>>133806
These Skeletons are actually pretty nice... things.
They've been carrrying us and everything.
> What... Bros?
> Do Skeletons even have sex?
> I wouldn't fuck one.
Either way, the trip is almost at an end. You never got to find out what started the forest fire, but mostly cause the skeles don't talk much.
The land had turned from the faded brown of the mountain highlands to a slate grey as we descended further east, deeper into unknown territory. It was getting more humid, as well.
Eventually you reached a Great lake, surrounded on all sides by Great hills, and at the centre of which lay a Great Keep.
You were carried along a large bridge to entrance, and were immidiately set up in a guest house, before being summoned to the dining hall.

You know sit, refreshed after a skeleton spongebath washed away the grit of the weeks of travel.
Before you lies a set of cutlery, and an enormous table, but your wives weren't invited to this particular meeting.
The Marquis will be walking through that door any minute now.
> How to make a good impression?

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>135986

desu would enjoy a vampire not Loli waifu

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>135986
We just be as relaxed as possible. You know, sort of like we just naturally belong here

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>135986

HIDE

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>135986
A loli vamp wife?
could be cool.

try and act classy.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>135986

File: Congrats-Vampire.png (2.56 MB, 2000x1514)

2.56 MB PNG

>>136005
That's unfortunate.
>>136029
You calm down. It's not like this incredibly impressive mansion belongs to anyone that could hurt you. Considering your luck so far, you might even be able to seduce them.
> Imagine that.
Unfortunately you do, and you hear a thunk as your erection hits the table.
> Shit.
It's so hard the table's being lifted off the ground! And the door just opened!
> Double shit.
And here comes a skeleton in a maid outfit!
> Holy shit!
> Boner overdrive.
You can't properly lean on the table without it rocking.
> Just try to ignore it.

Then, the great doors at the end of the hall swing open and you see... a little girl.
> Yup.
She walks over to the end of the table and hops onto one of the Great chairs at the other end. Her feet don't touch the ground and she needs to pushed in by the skeleton maid.
You smirk, causing your boner to fade.
> Thank god

"Hello James."
>Oh, uh. Hi?
"I've heard great things about you."
> Well, who can blame you
"Of particular interest to me, is the prophecy."
> Mmm, I guess she wants the dick?
"That's why I want to employ you."
> Yup, she wants the D.
"How does that sound?"
> Sweet!
She pulls out a contract.
"Good, if you were to accept a contract with me, I'd be interested in your... services."
> Naturally.
"I'm glad you could be so understanding. Humans tend to be... Difficult."
> Probably the Skeletons.

Do we accept the contract?
First +5 roll decides.

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>136139

No

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>136139
yeah

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>136139
We read it first.

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>>136139
>>136162
>>136169

You take a look at the piece of paper a skeleton maid hands you.
> It's blank.
> Huh?
> Hey! It's... uh, blank?
The Marquis stands on her chair and begins striding down the table. She stops in front of you and reaches out her hand. You take cautiously.
She does something, and your wrist starts pouring blood onto the parchment.
> Wait, I need that...
Then, as soon as it started it stops.
> Huh.
The Marquis picks up the contract and waves it around like a developing photo. Eventually it dries and you see it covered in writing, but before you can read it, she puts down her blouse.
"Wonderful! Welcome to Castle Brandenbourgh, James. You'll be a valued addition to the family."
> Family?
"Enjoy the title, Human. You are now member of the Army of Darkness!"
She skips back down the table.
"Your first mission, as the Army Of Darkness' primary recruiter, will be to recruit the Fae Hunter. She hasn't been returning my calls."
> Wait, what? Fuck that!
"You may call me M. That is all, you may leave."
And with that she flicks her finger and you find yourself outside the room.
> She can teleport?
> Oh boy.
> Didn't even get to dicking.

Well, now what?

I'm gonna take a small break, I'll be back in an hour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>136276

Yeah, just discard her el contractANO.

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>136276
And THIS is why you read shit first. Lets go let our girls know about our new 'title'.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>135842
I like lolis

>>136276
Let's go try to find our wives. And also look for anything that would tell us what this place is about. "Army of Darkness" doesn't sound like the friendliest bunch.

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>>136307
>>136309
>>136316

You don't know how to feel about this. Not particularly great, at least.
You'd like to rip that contract up, but you don't have it. And M would probably kill you.
> Don't want that.
Let's at least tell our wives about his new development.
Along the way you try to get a better reading of this castle; this "Army of Darkness" outfit doesn't sound like a cheery bunch. That said though, you haven't seen anyone other than Skeletons wandering around the place. You'd expect a bit more of a presence from an army.
The sun was about to rise over the far mountain, although it was still really foggy, and you couldn't see any Grand Army camped along the banks of the Loch.
> Maybe M's full of shit?

Anyway, wives.
Zan stared blankly, as per usual.
Aalna was actually excited by the prospect. Fighting for the forces of darkness was apparently an Orcish tradition.
Nellia was greatly concerned, and Vanyal was outright livid.
"You expect us to live in this gloomy dump and fight for a filthy vampire!"
>Yes
"I refuse!"
> Whatever. She'll come around.
Galla didn't mind, Harpies weren't usually made a part of armed forces. For one reason or another.

Well, we've got our work cut out for us.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>136722
Ask Nellia if she knows anything about this Fae Hunter we're supposed to find.

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>>136733
You do, and she does!
"The Fae Hunter was a mythical warrior that, as the legend goes, once lost a child to the Fae folk, and subsequently went on a quest for vengeance. A lifetime of hunting Fae caused the Hunter to become something other than human, due to an accumulation of Fae Curses and the side effect of wild magic. Eventually, the Fae Hunter become so alike the creatures it hunted that it threw itself into exhile, forever hunting itself."
> Neat.
> Where can we find it?
"I dunno."
> Okay then

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>136791
Ask some of the spooky skeletons if they know where the Fae Hunter is.
If noone knows, ask where the nearest Fae village is, and head there.

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>136791
We ask M to give us idea. Also we aren't gonna stay here if we can help it. You don't jut try to coerce a god into something like that

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>>136809
>>136810

You try to get the attention of the nearest Skeleton, one trying to plaster a crack in the wall.
> Hey bud, do you know where I could find the Fae Hunter?
The skeleton rattles and shrugs it's bones.
>Hmm.
"Need any help?"
> Holy fucking shit!
M walks out of the shadows next to you.
"If you don't know where to look, I'd be happy to help. If you follow the Loch, at the end you'll find a stream, follow that stream and you'll find a glen, and in that glen, a glade. You should find her there."
> Sweet.
> Alrighty then, Let's go!

> What do we bring?

>>136868
what can we bring? does M have stuff we can take?
I think the only item in our inventory is the horny tea from catgirl village.

>>136892
Our wives mainly. This basically gonna be pokemon.
We could bring the lot of them, we could bring none of them, whatever you think would make for a more successful recruitment.

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>136868
Then we bring our ladies, I mean, not much else we can bring

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>136915
>>136919
yeah, just bring all of them. The more the merrier.

>>136922
Lets tell them (Mostly Aalna and Vay) that we don't attack first unless we're attacked.

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>>136922
The next morning, you unentangle yourself from your wives and get ready to go.
The lot of you are given some neat maroon uniforms to replace your dirty adventurers gear, and are sent on your way with a slap on the bottom.
You decide to bring all your wives, because why the fuck not, and head off. Nellia had muttered something about rest and recuperation but you ignored her like you always did when she got too talky.
You followed M's directions and did indeed find yourself in a glade. However, it was considerably more... crispy... than you were expecting. You tell Aalna and Val to be on the lookout for danger, but to not attack unless lives depended on it. Aalna remarks that she doesn't have any weapons, so that won't be much of a problem.
>Oh yeah.
You're distracted, though, by the sound of an explosion coming from further up the glen.
Ahead, you finally see the reason for the dissapeared Glade, and probably that fire yesterday.
> It's the goddamn Flamekin!
And it's fighting what you can only assume to be the Fae Hunter.
The Hunter is silhouetted against the enourmous raging physique of the Flamekin who, if you had to guess, had probably gone feral, considering her size.
The Hunter herself looked a lot younger than you were expecting. Or maybe just smoother? She definitely looked quite boyish, now that you thought about it. You also noticed she had hooves for feet. Either way she was bouncing around too fast to get a good reading on her.
> This is gonna be fun.
They haven't noticed you yet.
Wat do?

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>137012
Shout at them to stop fighting. There will be enough semen for both of them.
And put Nellia and Vaynal in front ready to shied us just in case

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>137012
I find it kind of weird that Aalna wouldn't have a weapon with her. That aside, I think we should watch a bit before acting.

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>>137042
You shout at them to stop fighting.
> There's more than enough semen for everyone!
This does manage to get the attention of the Flamekin, who sees you and roars.
"I... WANT... BABIES..."
> Well, why didn't she just ask?
The Fire rushes towards you. She's still in Feral form though.
> That's gonna burn off more than my dick
> Oh dear

An enormous wall of fire lusts for your dick. What do you do?

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>137077
cast biblical bukkake, and try to avoid the fae hunter too.

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>>137092
There's only one thing for it. Splooge cannon worked last time, Biblical Bukkake will just have to work even better.
You focus.
> Ahhhhhh.
You focus harder.
> AhhhHHHhhh
Your dick begins to glow and grow.
> AHHHHHHHHHH
Your wives have backed off, and the fire has reached you, the gaping fiery maw of the elemental bearing down on your crotch.
> Bam.
You explode your load. It hits the flamekin with far less force than it should have, barely an upgraded splooge cannon. It definately takes it out of you though.
You managed to hit the core at least. The smell of burning spunk fills the air, while the flamekin cools down enough to return to normal.
You fall flat on your ass while the flamekin stands there, swaying. It then looks at you again with malicious intent in its eye.
It takes a step towards you before a hoof slams it in the face and sends it flying into a tree.
Before you stands the Fae Hunter, in all her horned, androgynous glory. And she is pissed.

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>137166
explain that M sent us. Also, we're the god of fertility, so, you know, if you were looking to have another kid...

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>>137189
> Hey there, M sent us...
She ignores you, waltzing over to the flamekin and whipping out a club which she uses wrap across the creatures face, savagely beating it.
> Uh.
> We're the god of Fertility?
She continues to beat the charcoal base of the Flamekin senseless.

> We should do something.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>137216
try to restrain her

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>>137239
Alright, time to use force.
> Hey! Lady! Listen to me!
You run up and try to hold her back, but she just whips the club around and smashes you upside the head. She's a professional, alright. You barely see anything but red.
Your wives take some offense to this and get ready to attack.

Oh dear. This could get bad.

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>137262
Tell them to stand back and restrain her with tentacock?

>>137269
Roll 1d20

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>137295
Oh boy...

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>>137269
> Stand back ladies!
You wipe the blood from your nose.
> I really need you to stop that. Okay?
The Fae Hunter lays a cloved hoof on the shoulder of the Flamekin, and raises her club high.
You cast tentacock, but only manage one appendage. You wrap it around her wrist.
However, this time she stops.
She takes her hoof off the Flamekin, drops the club, and, for a moment, you think everything might turn out okay.
Then she slams her hoof into the flamekins skull, crushing it into dust against the tree before grabbing your cock and pulling you close.
> Fuck!
You see she has a knife in the other hand. You know exactly how she intends to use it.
> FUCK!

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>137366
turn off the spell
ask Zan and Aalna to help

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>>137383
> HELP!
You try to turn off the spell, but you penis is still one object, it needs to retract.
Fortunately, the ladies are done taking your stupid orders, and Aalna smashes the Hunter into the tree, while Vanyal and Zan block off her escape.
With your dick free, you see a shard of ice fly into the Hunter and pin her to the ground. Nellia also getting in this.
Galla extracts you from danger and all in all you feel very lucky to have such capable lovers.
Magic proves very useful in keeping the Fae Hunter in check. But the wives are busy dealing with her, and the flamekin is practically dead at this point. You can still see a smouldering glow from her chest but, to put it simply, she's fucked.
> What now?

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>137459
Interrogate the hunter. Why was she fighting the flamekin? Why won't she return M's calls? Does she want to fuck?

The flamekin should eventually start burning again as long as we don't do anything else to her.

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>>137488
The Hunter refuses to speak.
But, looking around, you can guess as to why she was fighting the Flamekin.
If she lived here, and the Flamekin burnt her house to ashes, and she's more-or-less part Fae with a history of holding grudges, then it would make sense that she'd be pissed.
You can't guess why she won't return M's calls, but maybe that's a matter between them.
And as for whether she'd like to fuck... maybe. She did just try to cut your dick off, though.
Also, the flamekin isn't coming back from that one.
> If only we had some kind of golden dick of healing.

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>137550
Fine, golden dick of healing on the flamekin

>>137550
I guess we're supposed to fuck the unconscious flamekin with our golden dick

>>137559
Roll 1d20

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>137580

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>>137559
You get the brilliant idea to use your golden dick of Healing on the Flamekin!
> That sounds like a grand idea.
You give yourself a pat on the back for having such a good, selfless, logical head on your shoulders.

You walk over to the Flamekin and utilize your dick magic. You're beginning to recognise your limit, as well as the feeling of encroaching wrath, and you're getting close to it.
Still, you persevere.
> Golden dick Go!
You focus on the penis and it grows great and golden. You can feel the aura radiate off of it as the broken nose you suffered earlier heals. You position the headless corpse of the elemental more comfortably.
Now, where to fuck it?

Inside it's hip cavity you spot a gelatinous mass, like petroleum jelly.
You take it out and slip it over your dick.
It is warm and gooey.
> Nice.
You can feel it ripple and grow in warmth as you rub it against your shaft.
Eventually, your climax and leave a spread of hot, golden goop along the inside of the mass.
The mass bursts into a cold, blue flame.

It's time to head back to the castle. You intend to take the Hunter with you, but do you take the mass? Or just leave it?

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>137751
Eh, might as well take it with us

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>137751
Well, it'd probably burn everything if we just left it here.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>137767
>>137785
roll 1d20 you plebs

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>>137767
>>137786

You take the Flameball, finding cool the touch, despite the fire, but as you do you see The Hunter arc up considerably. She gives the ball a deathstare.
You plop the ball in one of the satchels you were given and set about dragging the Hunter back to Castle Brandenbourgh.
> This'll be fun.

Once you get back you secure the Hunter in a nice, magically locked room, and end up debriefing with M in her study.

"Well, at least I know why she wasn't returning my calls."
> Why was that?
"Well, obviously, one of her curses has progressed to the point she no longer has a voice. Frustrating things, fairy curses."
> Great
> Will she join us?
"Eh, maybe. She really didn't like that Flamekin. Good job, by the way."
> Thanks.
"I send you out to get one recruit, you come back with two. That Elemental is a rare catch. I'm very pleased."

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>137844
What does she even want an army for anyway.

>>137864

> Why do you even want an Army?
M smiles.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
> Yes
> That's why I asked
"I'll tell you when I trust you to keep a secret. Our little contract only ensures so much."

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>137896
And what exactly does our contract ensure? I didn't get a chance to read it. Also, you know I'm the god of fertility right. How would you like to try out some of my famous cock magic.

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>137896
Tell her that eventually, we'll have to leave. We have 'things' we have to take care of ourselves.

>>137911
> What does our contract entail, exactly?
She flicks a finger and a skeleton maid refills your scotch.
"That you'll serve under me, defend this castle, and populate my army, until you can no longer physically do so, upon which the terms of our contract shall be fulfilled."
> And nothing else, right?
She sticks her tongue out at you.
>Great
>You know I'm the God of Fertility, right?
M laughs.
"Oh please, both you and I know that's horseshit. Your just a trumped up Phallomancer. They're exceedingly rare these days, what with the whole Forsaken business, but I knew one a long time ago."
> What happened?
"I sucked him dry."
> Neat
> Let's not do that

>>137912
"Dear, you aren't going anywhere I don't say you can go."

She doesn't extrapolate.

Rolled 2 (1d10)

> > Let's not do that
Oh no, I think we should do that

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>137977
We'll just let her believe she's in control. Sooner or later, she'll see us have a god moment and then the rest will be clear. Guess I'll back >>138000

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>>138000
>>138017

> Actually, wanna try reliving the glory days?
"Oh?"
> Surely you missed the taste of the Phallomancer D.
"I seriously doubt you could handle a woman like me. Try again in a few hundred years. I would eat you before then, trust me, it would be the best you've ever had, but our contract stops that from happening."
> Okay then

M slides of her large armchair and leans against the fireplace.
"Now, we've chatted enough, but I think it's time we got on to the next assignment. I'll give you a choice:
You can either stay here and see to the convincing of the Hunter, although I wouldn't envy you that task, or you can run off to meet the next target for negotiations."
> Who's the next target?
" A Dragon."

> Ah.

>>138058
Lets go get some dragon puss

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>138058
Let's use our dick to convince the hunter. We can get the dragon later.

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>138079
Opps forgot roll

I'm gonna stop for now, and end on that cliffhanger. I don't quite know what my schedule is for the coming week, but I know it's going to keep me a bit too busy to make much progress.
The times I'll be available to QM this will likely be at times no one else is awake. So that'll be fun.

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>138058
Well off to get a dragon, but just as we leave, we just say "ya know, death said the same thing to me not too long ago."

I think I'll pick up again in a few hours, but that depends on if I get bored enough.
Either way, I'll try to set up a set time to broadcast. Till then.

Then we'll be off to see the dragon, the wonderful dragon of Oz.

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In the meantime, can I get some suggestions as to the next few monstergirls you'd like to see? The more inventive the better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r83LPeAVxA8

Also, if I were to pull a G.Top due to Uni in the next few days, would anyone be able to take the reigns on this thing over? It would be nice to have some backup.

>>139570

Lamia
Valkyrie
Dark Valkyrie
Arachne.

>>139570
I'd be down for the following girls popping up at some point
Oni
Dullahan
Tiger
Monkey
Succubus
Holstaurus

That's just a few off the top of my head. And if you gotta deal with things for a few days that's fine. Just make a twitter or something or start up another thread.

So G.top is kill? Wierd

Maybe a plantgirl?

>>140179
I wouldn't be surprised if G.top is actually lurking the thread.

>>139570
Holstaurus
Lamia
Valkyrie
Maybe another powerful monstergirl with aims against M and a promise to break our curse for some drama and machinations?

WHO IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK ALLOWED JAZZMAN TO DIP HIS GODDAMN NUTS INTO MY QUEST?

>>141066

>Don't make quest
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>141068
I LOST BOTH MY MOBILE AND MY INTERNET BECAUSE THE GUY I GAVE MY MONEY TO IS AN INEPT FUCKTARD

OUT OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO COULD HAVE ATTEMPTED TO BE QM IN MY STEAD, YOU PEOPLE ALLOW JAZZMAN TO DO THIS. CAPTAIN FUNPOST MCFUCKITUP. I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO READ THIS. NONE OF IT HAPPENED. NONE OF IT.

/rant
That's enough capslock.

>>141076

NOT AN ARGUMENT.

>>141085
Absolutely an argument. The lack of ability to post is the best argument.

Besides, I can tell just by the stats in this thread and by looking at a few "story" posts that he's royally fucked this whole thing up anyway.

>>141098

Not an argument

(though the story did indeed get JUSTed)

WELL START IT AGAIN FROM WHERE YOU LEFT ON THEN NITWIT.

>>141106
Agreed, comrade. I absolutely could. And I fucking will. Allow me to get my story notes and other bullshit pulled up, and we will ACTUALLY get started.

For those of you who have just read everything in the thread, congratulations. Forget all of it, because none of it happened.

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>141117
>>141106
Lets hug it out guys
Or just make more green.

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>>141117
yay! Roy totally fucked up the pastry arc.

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>>141163

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>Yawn and stretch
>Feeling pretty refreshed after getting blown
>Haul your ass out of the kinda cramped goblin bed and start wandering
>Come across a larger cavern with tables and such
>Apparently a mess hall
>Spot your wives quickly
>Seriously they stick out like a sore thumb
>Nellia waves, and everyone turns to you, smiling
>Except Vanyal, who has the usual sour look on her face
>Sit down, chat, and get some food
>Talk about guide
>Nellia jumps in there
"Well, the mountains are almost impossible to climb due to the conditions at higher altitudes. There isn't a path right through, either. Luckily, there are a multitude of caverns that can take us to the other side. Unfortunately, they all converge into one larger cavern."
>Why is that unfortunate?
"Well, due to geothermal activity, the cavern is very warm. As a result, a dragon has taken up residence there."
>Oh
>Well shit
"The goblins usually employ stealth to get by, but they are smaller and lighter on their feet. It may take some time and effort if we all want to make it by."
>That is a problem

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>141172
Now can I 'woo' the dragon

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>141172

Go and get Snu-snu'd by the dragon

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>141172
Go back to the altar's fountain to listen to the Fluid Goddess

>>141186

>Aalna seems startled
"James, I don't think you realize how bad of an idea that is."
>Sounds like a good idea to you
>DRAGON PUSSY
>She sighs
"Dragons are extremely temperamental and dangerous. She might kill you for any reason, assuming she doesn't roast you for being in her cave anyway.

>>141202
Make puppy eyes. "B-but my destiny is to unite all beings of this world under the banner of 'muh dick' "

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>141202
Well it'll make getting by easier, who knows, she may even want to tag along! I already came back from the dead before.

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Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>141208 roll

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>>141209

"Hm. That is true. Maybe you can pull it off."
>Galla blinks
"You came back from the dead?"
>Yeah
>Tell her the story
"Ehehe, I truly am lucky for such a husband."
>Hell yeah
"... Husband, perhaps we shouldn't leave so soon. I haven't had the time to clean in a while... And these goblins do seem to like our company."
>Vanyal scoffs
"These creatures are likely waiting for the right time to devour us! I have heard that goblins enjoy the taste of elven flesh..."
"Certainly not, Vanyal. Aside from propaganda, there is little evidence that goblins eat monster or human meat. In fact, their dietary habits..."
>Zone out of Nellia's rambling again
>Look around
>A lot of little goblin babes eating and talking
>Shitloads of laughing and snickering
>This place is pretty fun
>Maybe it would be a good idea to stay
>Plan the dragon attack, too?
>And of course relax

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>141275
Alright then, we chill, hangout, and plan, probably pick ourselves up a goblin waifu too if we can?

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>141275
chill and chat. Ask for a lake or waterfall nearby.

>>141284
Ooo, I like the way you think, anon.

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>>141281

>Finish your meal and enjoy the company of your wives
>Everyone discusses how they will spend their time
>Nellia is going to look at cave formations and talk to the goblins about shit
>Vanyal will tag along
>Zan is going to go find a place to take a bath
>Aalna plans on sparring with the fighters
>Galla wants to find a place to stretch her wings a bit
>You decide to go and meet some more gobs
>Everyone goes their own way
>You spot the goblin who blew you this morning
>Say hi
"Oh, hey. What's the wanderin' fella doin' on his own?"
>Just looking to hang out
"Ha! Yer talkin' to the right goblin! I'm going ta my friend's cavern ta get some drinks! Want to tag along?"

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>141315

Yeah

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Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>141315
alright

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>141315
Sure, nothin' like a few drinks

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>>141332

>Sounds like fun
>Idly talk with her as you travel
>Get to the cavern
>Furnished different from the places you've been, even your own "room"
>Tables, cabinets, trinkets and shit
>And of course three goblin babes sitting around with mugs of what you assume is ale
>Everyone greets you two and eyes you with a smile
"Ah, Minsh, I see you've caught yerself one, ah?"
"Well, ya could say I've gotten a mouthful of the feela, but I ain't got 'im in my pocket."
"Well, sit yer ass down and have a drink. You too, whatever yer name is."
>James
>Sit down and enjoy getting drunk
>Her a few stories about the goblins being stupid
>Laugh harder and harder as you get more and more drunk
>Time passes
>Topic shifts aplenty
"So, James. Ya got, what, five girls travelin' with ya? Yer screwin' em all, right?"
>Yeah
>Except Vanyal
>They're all your wives
>One of them whistles
"Four wives, eh? Impressive. Thinkin' about gettin' more? I'm avail'ble any time."
>She winks
>Laugh a little
>Tell them they'd have to be willing to travel with you
"Eh, I guess I'd have ta pass, then. I ain't goin' past a dragon!"
"Aye!"
"I'll drink to that."
>Another gulp with them
"Still, some adventure'd be fun, eh?"
"No doubt."
"Still wouldn't fight no dragon, ha!"

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>141397

Tell her that she won't need to fight basically lie to her.

>>141397
Head's spinning. Show dick tricks.

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>141397
Tell her, we plan on 'fighting' the dragon alone

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>>141404
>meet chill as fuck comfy people
>lie to get them into adventure and danger
please no

>>141420

Don't worry, We'll cool her with our ice cum.

>>141420
Yeah, I'm with this anon. No deceiving a gobbo into a dragon's den, please.

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>141397
Ask if they know anyone who's snuck through the dragon's den. Gather Info!

Alright, I have to go to work. When JazzMan gets back tell him to go fuck himself.

>>141446
G.top best qm

>>141454
I have shit to do, bro
Unless you're not being sarcastic
In which case thanks

>>141462

Not an argument

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Ha, fuck yourself G.Top
You're just mad I got better skills than you. If you can't at least be bothered to read what I spent 12 hours writing through you can suck my enormous, platinum polished balls.
It was pretty good, too. I got us a place to live, 3 new characters with backstory and personality, and a gameplan to structure out all future conquests.

Gtop best QM.

I AM THE NEW QM.

>YOU TRY TO CONVINCE THE GOBLIN TO ASSIST YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY.
>SHE REPLIES WITH "NOT AN ARGUMENT"

>>141462
love u

>>141428
That a bit too assholeish of MC. But since it's a random anime waifu quest, that's not a strong point to make.

I'd rather say the audience (if it managed to survive the Roy) would be upset: our dude is the dude that puts a get well soon card near the elemental that threatens to kill his family.

>>141494

The elemental just wanted a quick "hot" fuck desu.

>>141471
No, no, it was pretty shit compared to the actual quest.

>>141499
To be fair, said elemental DID threaten to burn us and the girls.

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>>141462 based qm. Have a rare Pepe to keep the hunger away.

>>141517

If you didn't fuck her so basically she just wanted the dick.

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>>141507
> This faggot.

And here I was thinking I could please everybody...

>>141525
Which would have been fine, but you don't threaten someone.

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>>141537

>not wanting to get the dick no matter what.

>>141548
Well I mean, we're a sex god. You don't have to threaten anyone close to us, we'd probably just do it anyway

>>141627

They're monster girls pal.

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>141397
Suggesting something different to avoid antagonising the most relaxed people we've yet seen:
Head is spinning, balance it by exhibiting some dick spinning. Then drink more.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>141665
Seconded.

>tfw no one has 4 replies to vote the less hostile idea in.
>tfw when the goblin waifu will feel the burn and die

>>141712
Wait which one? I'm down with saying she doesn't have to fight the dragon. Because she doesn't, I though we agreed to handle the dragon ourselves.

>>141732
>>141209
Could you explain
>Well it'll make getting by easier, who knows, she may even want to tag along! I already came back from the dead before.
While we were dead, we looked pretty dead in the real world, not doing any fucking at all.

>>141764
If we could have sex with and possibly distract the dragon basically. And fear of death wouldn't be a problem since we can probably come back again after pleasing Death. But hey, I won't force my choice on anyone. If anyone has better ideas go right on ahead.

>>141779
>If we could have sex with and possibly distract the dragon basically
It's described as a fire first, ask questions later type of monster. Diplomacy or charm attempts would get interrupted by a burning sensation.

I think there's still a couple actions we can take on this side of the mountains:
- chat the great mother some more
- eat elf food. Properly marry that elf too I guess.
- deal with the humans. Maybe set camp a couple hundred yards from the gates, build an half-assed attempt at a temple to yourself to lure scholar humans and discuss on the pillow if you're the first interdimensional traveller.

>>141857
You're real curious about that elf food. Well, I'm not against trying it. Though, I doubt we could get a 'proper' elf marriage currently anyway. And it'll probably be a while before we can really deal with the humans at all. The closest thing we could use as a temple would be the place where the great mother is. I don't see us being able to talk to her more anyway since if I recall right, it took quite a bit of power for her to appear to us as she did.

>>141665
Thirded.

cool, G.top is back.
I like you more than Jazzman though he was certainly better than no one.
Try not to disappear again or we'll go crazy without our fix of anime waifu quest

>>141665
might as well vote for this

Also, Death told us not to die like an idiot again, so we probably shouldn't just waltz into the dragons lair and get eaten/burned to death. Not sure if she would let us come back a second time.

>>142133
Fair enough. I guess I got too entranced by the dragon boobs.

I was kinda hoping Jazzman's bit could be a dream sequence but eh whatever

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>>141471
>Better skills
>2 day old thread
>Less than 200 posts
Haha, no.

>>141665

>A bit dizzy from the drinks
>Having fun, though
>One gob hops up
"Ey, watch this."
>Takes off her shirt
>Nice pair of chesticles
>Shoves her ale mug in between them
>Tilts WAY back
>Try to get a look
>She snaps back up, lips locked
>Takes a gulp
"Not a drop lost!"
>You an the other girls clap
>Set down your ale
>Tell them you've got a good one, too
>Slide down your pants
>They all whoop, smiling
>Drunkenly sway your hips in an attempt to helicopter your dick
>It just flops around in an almost circular motion
>Stumble
>Eh, forget it
>Pull up your pants
"Ha! That wasn't impressive, but I liked watchin' ey?"
"I wouldn' mind anotha' peek, heh."
>Everyone starts laughing again
>Shit, this is fun