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/tg/ - Traditional Games

>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri of the Valhallan 545th armored.
>Be gliding over the swamp in a Skorpius Dunerider alongside Zeta, Marshal 9s and other members of my regiment.
>Currently being chased by chaos bikers.
>The death of one of its brain bugs enough to get the Hive Mind to really commit to this world.
>Spores are raining down like the tears of eldar when one of their maiden worlds gets glassed.
>There's apparently a necron fleet engaging the bugs in the void that got through the imperial blockade.
>There's a hive tyrant in the north that we're headed towards.
>If we can slay it and end this then finally go to that administratum planet with the guy that keeps assigning us to these mismatched planets we aren't specialized for is on.
>Slaanesh is also committing a large force in the south.
>We're steering clear of that area though since my regiment is rather sick of fighting slaanesh all the time.
>Besides I think they're mostly busy with the eldar exodites anyway.
>With this clear goal things are finally looking up.
>Still no word back yet if we can expect proper armored support from the arch magos explorator.

Previous Thread: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2023/91014901/
Lets try to rap up things here. I plan to do another thread about Tallarn sent to an ice planet around Christmas so look out for that one.
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>Be Lord Noctis Carrigan, General of The Burmaze Arsonists.
>Chasing after the Guard when spores begin to fall.
>Order all units on the vox to just keep burning everything.
>Can't spawn nids from spores if you burn them before they spawn.
>Finally see a ramp I can use to jump over and grab that tech priest.
>Rev up and speed as fast as I can, pushing my bike to its limits.
>Soar into the air over my units of bikes and scout sentinels.
>Swap from power sabre to a hook and chain.
>As I begin to land I throw the hook at the tech priest snagging him in one of his many mechadenrites.
>As my bike lands I yank on the chain to attempt to pull him out of the dunerider.
>This should hopefully spread terror within their ranks more allowing for more fire to scorch them.
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>See one of the Chaos rough riders soar over the Dunerider and throw a chain with a hook at the end at Zeta trying to yank him out.
>I grab onto his feet and am dragged up as well but manage to plant my mud soaked boots at the rim of the Dunerider to brace.
>Be Lord Noctis Carrigan.
>Seems like someone's holding the tech priest seeing as he's slightly heavier.
>Well heavier than a tech priest normally is.
>Begin to rev and move forwards ahead of the dunerider to use the power of the bike to help me yank the hooked target out.
>My rough riders continue to open fire on the other duneriders and even some of them try to board using their hunting lances.
>Some even join me in over taking the duneriders and turn themselves around to fire laspistols whilst continuing to ride forward.
>Hear the Malcador moving up after us.
>It's slower than bikes and sentinels.
>It's still firing it's heavy stubber and Lascannons at the duneriders.
>Cackling like a madman because of how chaotic this whole thing is.
>Be Felinid Merc Captain Scarlett.
>Currently catching a breather in one of the AdMech’s hover boats when one of those chaos bikers leap over and tries to steal Zeta-23.
>Yuri grabs his legs and is dragged along with him up but braces himself on the edge of the Skorpius
>But his muddy boots slip.
>I leap up and grab on to his legs rapping my toes around the edge for support and pulling with all my abhuman strength.
>MFW I don’t get paid enough for this shit.
>Be Zeta-23
>Trying to escape chaos forces and getting attacked by a ramping biker
>He looks important, has more spikes than the others
>He has hooked a chain on one of my ballistic mechadendrites - the plasma pistol
>Yuri braces me before I can be snatched and I grab onto the dunerider with my servo arm for stability
>Plasma pistol isn't responding, it's damaged and whining ominously
>Rider starts to pull ahead, almost dragging me over the side
>Blast at the rider with my three hotshot dendrites and cut the chain with a melée dendrite
>Fire spaced shots trying to anticipate his dodging
>Detach damaged plasma pistol while flicking that dendrite up and towards the rear of the dunerider
>If it's about to go it may as well take a biker with it
>Be Death Jester Malarai of the Masque of Flowing Blood
>Currently wearing a Valhallan uniform along with my Death Jester mask because of circumstances
>A mon'keigh inquisitor is claiming he needs my help
>He is also mad that I know low gothic and says I am a dick in the future
>Little does he know I am a dick now
>Wait future
>I have dealt with my fair share of inquisitors, and he doesn't look like many of the ones I've seen
>Oh shit he is one of those Ordo Chrono madmen isn't it
>I hate time travel plots
>He is also eager to get out of the battlefield, getting aboard my starweaver
>See Sergeant Yuri, Zeta, and one of the fellinid mercs getting onto a hovercraft and beginning to leave while being harassed by a biker
>They are safe enough
>Tell Shadowseer Velrani that the mon'keigh leadership is evacuating, and that I am going on misadventures with a inquisitor to stop the end of the world, or something
>Enjoy the yelling that comes from her after that
>After she is done calling me an idiot, she says that she will stay nearby and use our aircraft to keep the skies clear of Chaos, though soon they will begin hunting bugs
>Also has another starweaver with a troupe of the dark to assist me
>Get onboard my starweaver and in low gothic I say to the inquisitor
"Alright [NICKNAME EXPUNGED], if you have an entourage this ship can carry 3 more normal mon'keigh. Tell them they have 3 minutes to get on board"
>Be Lord Noctis.
>There's a third weight now.
>Even with my bike and my pretty good build there's no way I'm pulling three individuals off.
>The tech priest shoots three lasgun bolts at me with his other mechadenrites.
>Have to dodge those using my superior riding skill.
>Feel the chain snap as it vibrates through the metal.
>Growl in anger as I release the chain.
>Just in time too seeing as it's just been flicked up into the air.
>Begin to try and dodge his shots.
>Feel part of my leg get blown out and can see the back of my bike get damaged by his shots.
>Fuck he was hoping I'd try to dodge.
>I only succeeded on one of the three saving throws.
>Still got the wounds to keep going though.
>End up having to focus on riding forward until I can find a good turn to go back behind the duneriders.
>Can't really make an impromptu Molotov right now.
>Just ride and dodge Noctis.
>Just like papa taught you.
>Be Shas'O O'Bovar
>Supply raid was a total bust
>Place was empty like a pack of Orks had swept through
>Actually, that might have been what happened
>Pull back to regoup and plan
>Sounds of combat from off near the Imperials' place
>Good, keep them busy
>Though what's with the meteor shower?
>Something's very fishy here
>A large clawed creature comes skittering through the trees and is promptly shot
>Wait, I think I have my xenofauna identification guidebook around somewhere
>Let's see...claws? Yes. Fur? No. Carapace? Yes. Over [1.5m]? Yes. Ugly bastard? Double yes.
>Doop de dooooo...flickflickflick...a Hormagaunt?
>From the meteors, that must mean only one thing
>The Y'he must be here, arriving on this world
>If that's true, the Imperials and other local inhabitants must be fighting for their lives
>Inevitably, so must we soon
>There will be no evacuation or retreat for us, we only have one option
>That is to sell ourselves as dearly as the Greater Good will allow us
>You, go and check our remaining power cell and missile stocks
>You, evaluate the men and see who can still hold a rifle
>You, begin setting up for triage and repairs
>I must meet with the other Shas'Os
>Be Colonel Farragut
>The world I'm doing a delivery to is currently going to shit
>Tyranids, chaos, eldar, the usual bullshit I have to deal with
>I already cope with being a postman by drinking on the job
>Currently drinking the rest of my emergency supply while we begin landing procedures
>Aiming for a convoy of friendly valhallans driving north
>Lucky thing, since I'm supposed to be delivering some Valhallan winter uniforms to the planet
>Even though it's a humid swamp
>Might as well give them the tanks I have that aren't addressed to anyone
>I'll let them figure out how to drive baneblades on a swamp planet
>Also think I'll give them the mysterious Inquisition box that's supposed to be delivered here
>Just hope I can stick the landing and don't squish anyone on the way down
>Be Zeta-23
>Manage to wing the important looking chaos biker with a shot and see the exploding plasma pistol wound another
>Thank Yuri and Scarlett for helping me out
>See Imperial Post ship commencing landing procedures right on our route
>It's not exactly a battle barge full of astartes but it's something
>Tell Yuri we should just mail ourselves somewhere else
>Plug into Dunestrider weapons systems and start aiding their accuracy and efficiency
>Have them use a scattered fire pattern like the one that winged the important biker to anticipate dodges and less than predictable motion
>Add in a blessed randomness algorithm to keep it from repeating too obviously
>Hopefully we can get back the bikers off long enough to get help from the postal ship
>Be Trooper Mikhail, Valhallan 545th
>Driving through swamp on commandeered chaos bike with random rescued soldier
>Trying to follow convoy but lost as shit
>Took a short cut through some bushes to lose the chaos man on my ass
>Worked too well
>Find bunch of skitarii arguing with felinid
>Yell at them to find the convoy it has been time to go for while now
>Make hard left turn to try and find way back onto the big convoy route
>Be Colonel Farragut
>Landed the ship but I don't see any imperials
>Uh oh...
>Check the radar and let out a sigh of relief, I managed to land in front of them
>Take one more swig of vodka for good measure
>Alright boys! Time to unload! Get those tanks out! And move that box, I don't care if it's speaking to you or making buzzing noises in your head, just get it off the ship!
>Stand proudly at the head of the boarding ramp as it lowers, ready to greet the receivers with paperwork in one hand, a bottle of vodka in the other
>Smile falls as I see the convoy
>Not because they're covered in mud and grime
>Not because they're being chased by a horde of chaos bikers
>Not because it looks like they've hijacked whatever gear they can get their hands on
>No, my smile falls because I recognise this group of imperials
>Get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach
>Look at my bottle of vodka, shrug, and start drinking as I go back into the ship
>Be Lord Noctis.
>The enemy are firing upon the bikers ahead of them.
>Including me.
>Several of my rough riders end up dying their bikes getting crushes underneath the duneriders.
>Growl in anger as I get on the vox ordering all bikers and sentinels to fall back.
>The Malcador stops in it's tracks and just fires it's Lascannons and heavy stubber to give us some cover.
>More rough riders and a couple Sentinels go down.
>Once clear order the Malcador to fire it's inferno cannon.
>It let's out it's promethium payload into some of the duneriders but eventually they get away.
>Scowl and order all remaining forces to go back and assist the Hellhounds with nids.
>Vox Bracker to see how the air battle is going.

>Be Marauder Bomber Pilot Bracker.
>Still dog fighting with the Eldar.
>Conditions turning slightly heavier due to the nid spores dropping in.
>Down to thirty Marauders as ten have been taken down by the Eldar and nid spores clouding their vision.
>My gunners are keeping an enemy aircraft off our backs with the heavy bolters.
>Need to identify a pilot ace and kill them, might cause a slight panic in the Eldar.
>Be Zeta-23
>Chaos bikes do in fact back off but we take some hits from their tank
>Fortunately the Imperial post has arrived
>Start hustling Valhallans to go figure out what he's got this time
>Kind of suspect the Inquisitor has a hand in this
>Receive random vox about a cat stuck in a tree arguing with skitarii from Mikhail
>Sounds like Derro is still alive but that wasn't exactly helpful
>Record location and share it with Yuri and Nines at least
>The few Mordians we took with us are freaking out at the lack of orders
>Start making up some "classified" files to give to their highest ranker about following Yuri's lead in the event of blah blah but my data banks glitch for a second and one is already there from later in the week, somehow
>This again
>Reassure myself that it means I probably survive and get ready to go deal with the postman
>Wonder if he has any antinid weapons
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>Be sergeant Yuri.
>My muddy boots slip off the edge but Scarlett grabs on and digs her sharp toes into the edge.
>Zeta shoots at the biker, he lets go and we all fall back into the hovercraft.
>Land on something soft.
>Get up and rub cheek.
>Blood again from her claws.
>Great another scar for today.
>Convoy comes to a sudden stop and I smack my head on the assault ramp.
>Blearily climb ladder to see what the hold up it.
>It’s the imperial post guy again.
MFW this asshole again
>He says be wants the highest ranking officer here blah blah blah
>I hop out of the skorpius dunerider, walk over to another one, have them lower the ramp then shove some random Mordian cornel forward to him.
>Not sure if he's even the highest ranked Mordian still alive or here but hopefully he can sort things out before the bugs or daemonetts get here.
>Be sister Trisha of the Order of the Bloody Rose.
>After what feels like days of hiking through the swamp we finally arrive at the Imperial Guard base…
>Or at least the burnt remains of the base.
>See corpses of Mordians, Valhallans, Eldar Harlequins, Tyranids, traitor guard, skitarii, Iron Warriors, and even Tau and Kroot for some reason even though they’re supposed to be on the other side of the galaxy.
>Alexa orders us to investigate for survivors went when suddenly we get attacked by seekers of Slaanesh.
>My sisters and I climb onto the rockcrete platform of the base and make our stand against the daemonettes.
>While we mow them down I hear one yell
“NNN is finally over. We are free!!!”
>MFW I have no idea what “NNN” stands for.
>be Colonel Farragut
>drinking the rest of my booze in a corner when a Mordian officer walks up
>I can see that prick Valhallan sergeant who's in charge of an entire regiment peeking at us around the corner
>look back to the Mordian who seems increasingly nervous
>can't really blame him, there's still a lot of shooting going on in the background
>"and what can I do for you, good sir?"
>he mutters something about some bullshit secret orders and being bossed around by a sergeant
>I can sympathise with that, offer him a drink while getting him to sign the release papers for the tanks and Inquisition box
>but the Valhallan winter uniforms need a valhallan officer, says right here on the delivery note
>glare menacingly at the prick in charge of the valhallans but I' so drunk at this point I think it looks like I'm falling asleep. Maybe I am at that.
>shrug and keep on drinking
>Be Ordo chronos Inquisitor [REDACTED].
>"Alright [NICKNAME EXPUNGED], if you have an entourage this ship can carry 3 more normal mon'keigh. Tell them they have 3 minutes to get on board"
>I inform him all my companions are [DATA EXPUNGED] years in the future and we fly off.
>Following my coordinates we come upon a crashed ark mechanicum from the Horus Heresy laying on its side.
>It’s so covered in foliage and sunk so deep into the ground that it’s basically impossible to spot it from the air without knowing exactly where it is.
>I tell the pilot to land near the bottom of the ship as their should be a hanger there we can enter.
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>Mordian colonel comes back a bit drunk.
>Says post guy has a shipment of Valhallan uniforms and needs a Valhallan officer to sign for them.
>The frakk am I supposed to do wi—
>March through the mud to the post officer, take his bottle pore some of the liquid on my face wounds then down the rest in one gulp.
>Sigh his frakking stupid papers for the uniforms then order my men, the felinids, and the Skitarii start passing them out to the surviving Mordians.
>Stand on top of tree stump
“Alright listen up Iron Guard! From this day forward you join the ranks of the esteemed Vallhallan 545th armored under MY command! Anyone with a problem with that is welcome to march all the way back to what’s left of your base, and dig what remains of your COs out of their bunker. Any questions?”
>Most put on the uniforms, but a few of the more stubborn ones take me seriously and actually start marching back to their old base.
>Be Death Jester Malarai
>The inquisitor tells me that his friends are in the future
>Of course
>Seems like the Imperials are getting more organized, they are passing out new uniforms for the Mordians
>Why would you want Mordians in your regiment, Necrons have a better sense of humor
>Velrani tell me that the fight above has become much more chaotic with the swarm now arriving in larger numbers.
>She says that they will be withdrawing soon to focus on other targets
>After all, the chaos mon'keigh will also be fighting the swarm, wouldn't want to kill more of them than is necessary
>Then we fly off towards where the inquisitor is directing us, uniting with our other starweaver and troupe along the way
>I also swap out of my Valhallan coat with my Death Jester coat
>Eventually come across a mon'keigh ship that has been here for some time
>[NICKNAME EXPUNGED] directs us down to a hanger
>All the hallways out of it are too small for our vehicles, so we dismount
>Tell my harlequins to search the areas
>I decide now is a good time to ask the inquisitor exactly what we are looking for
>Our conversation is interrupted by one of doors opening
>It's a group of orks
>There is a extremely long second as we stare at each other in silence
>It is then broken by the orks giving battle cries
>Me and my troupe begin our dance as we dive into battle

>Be Warboss Swampdrinker
>Best day of me life
>All the other bosses died of mysterious circumstances
>'Ate mysteries, so I don't question it
>Now the biggest Ork in the swamp
>And now bugs are raining from the sky just to fight me
>On of my bad news grots comes up and tells me that the boyz down at the old ship are fighting knife-ears
>Crush the bad news grot for delivering bad news
>Get me boyz together, fighting while standing still was getting boring anyway
>We get on our big ol' swampboats and move towards MY crashed humie ship
>Be Lieutenant Gina Karn, Mordian Iron Guard
>Working in one of the last remaining auxiliary command bunkers
>Fortress Base E72 has fallen
>Only a few small pockets of Imperial forces remain, including the newly arrived Sisters, most of the base is now held by one of the Chaos warbands, or by the invading Tyranids, though there are some hints that a few Tau have survived as well
>However, even these occupiers aren’t that numerous given the recent bombing runs that have set much of the base on fire
>There is probably enough Imperial forces scattered in the vicinity of the base that we probably could retake it, but this would serve little purpose. The command centre, shield generator, and anti-air were completely destroyed by the Iron Warriors, and the walls are breached in many places, so even if we retook it, it would be impossible to hold against a force with large enough numbers, or aerial support, or Space Marines, and our enemies have all three
>The Valhallans left the battle early with the help of their Mechanicus allies, and have rallied many of the abhumans and a few of small pockets of Mordians. Most of the rest of the surviving Mordians are going to ground and preparing for a brutal insurgency campaign, which we have prepared for extensively despite popular belief
>Command structure will be a problem though...
>The only remaining Mordian colonel declared himself medically invalid a while back. There is a few bureaucrats around with the rank of Colonel or higher, but they have no authority in combat situations. The Valhallans and abhumans have no senior officers with a rank equivalent to one above captain. In theory, the remaining Mordians should be split up between the remaining Mordian captains, but in practise, there is at least one senior member of the Mechanicus in orbit, and potentially one Inquisitor in the field, who likely have the authority to temporarily take command of the Mordian force. Until this is sorted out, the remaining Mordians will likely not commit to any one strategy in case it impedes their ability to respond to future orders
>However, this isn’t my problem to resolve
>All I have to do is relay information between the surviving pockets of Mordians up until someone finally overruns this bunker
>Unfortunately the Slaaneshi force is currently the closest
>Be Colonel Farragut
>Valhallan sergeant actually signed my papers
>Huh, didn't expect that one
>He also stole my vodka and poured most of it down his face
>Half-tempted to shoot him for that one but regulations don't say anything about stealing non-post items so I'll let it slide
>Too busy staring at all the Mordians putting on Valhallan uniforms to care anyway
>Valhallan Winter Uniforms
>In a 30 degrees C humid swamp
>Half of them are going to drop dead from heatstroke the instant they start marching again
>Oh well, not my problem. My work here is done. Just got to do some last minute checks and I'll get going.
>Cross off the delivery manifest
>Uniforms: DELIVERED
>Baneblade tanks: DELIVERED (good luck getting them going in this bog though)
>Who writes safety instructions warning to GTFO if people start feeling ill, screaming, falling dead, or disappearing near the box
>The box which is no longer in the area
>"Hey, anyone know where the scary Inquisition Box for [REDACTED] went?"
>Be Zeta-23
>Yuri is taking command of the Mordians and delivery of the post
>Seems we've got baneblades again
>Not sure how this is going to work in a swamp but we'll make it happen
>Try to check if any of them have a particularly good command and control system for Yuri to use
>Notice a box
>Augmetics glitch slightly
>Can't be that bad this time if I'm not getting loads of new files
>Find myself in a tank
>Have already entered a destination to navigational systems
>Franking ordo chronos
>At least it seems like it has a good command and control system
>Vox Yuri, tell him I think I've found a decent command tank and that we need to make a delivery
>He's not going to be happy about that bit but the tank will take the edge off it
>Be Lord Noctis Carrigan, General of The Burmaze Arsonists.
>Linked back up with Hellhounds.
>Burnt the Nids to crisps.
>See a force of Slaanesh Daemons approaching a bunker in the distance.
>Seeing as they too are chaos we'll give them a hand.
>Order all forces to move out, troopers have to try and keep up with bikes, tanks and sentinels.
>Should have probably invested in everyone being bikers rather than just giving them all flamers.
>Ah well who cares let's go cook whoever the Slaanesh Daemons are going to say hello to.
>Still burning parts of the swamp that have not yet been burnt.
>Can't have all this nice lovely plant life ever have the possibility of growing back after we're done here.
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>Be Exodite Varmara
>How'd we get lost like this?
>We're supposed to be the locals here, dangit
>Blancor is holdin' the map upside down and bickerin' with Escobaria
>Most of those croc'ari villages were already burned by...summun, dunno who or what
>They're tryin'a get home to make a stand 'gainst ta nids and spikes
>Idiots, we're just gettin' closer an' closer t'he Imperials
>Who knows what they gon do when they see the gator'o we're ridin'
>Hol' up, clearin' up ahead
>Looks like a big ol' Imperial ship in the muck
>Hey, ah know this place!
>Would sometimes sneak in when ah was a kid to try an' find more human clothes an' cassettes
>Sue me, ah like 'em
>Hell, ah'm still wearin' that T-shirt
>Still don' know what it means
>There's people around it?
>Is it that same bunch as back at t'island?
>I wanna speak to them, find out waddafuck's goin' on
>And a...mon'keigh?
>Looks official, whadda they doin' 'ere?
>Eh, weirdo Harlequin business is weirdo Harlequin business
>A few greenskins come wandering out of the ship
>Huh, could'a sworn it was empty last time ah was 'ere
>Still, wazza few years ago
>They seem to be dealin' with them just fi--
>A horde of crude swamp boats teeming with Orks comes out of the swamp
>Ah shite
>We gonna sit 'ere or--
>Someone blows the charge trumpet
>Well, guess we're doin' this
>Ah even polished ma wraithspear 'forehand, feels like it could cut air
>Gawds, I forgot how much fun it was to be in a horde'a thundering gator'o jockeys
>Be me
>Warsmith Davvok of the IVth Legion, leader of the 5th grand company
>Finish off the last of the raveners
>Wipe one of their brains off my power fist on the bunker wall
>Use the tunnels they dug to link up with my tech marine and his squad and make our way back to the assault drill.
>Tech marine informs me on the way he picked up vox traffic of another Mordian bunker nearby trying to organize the surviving troops
>Vox back to inferno base and tell the leader of the 1333rd warband to get his marines and traitor guard into Terrax drills and make for that bunker.
>We will join him shortly
>Also ask if my warpsmith is done with us project yet.
>He says not yet
>Be Nividia the Coominator, Daemon Princess of Slaanesh
>Slaanesh lasted 37.89 non-consecutive seconds without cumming over the course of NNN, including four whole seconds on Day 28
>Now all that pent up energy has spilled over into realspace in even the most minor openings
>But when some nascent psyker waifu Mordian trooper decided to do some mild yuri with her secret lover in the middle of an attack by a minor splinter fleet that Slaanesh tainted then forgot about...
>And the location of the fight is a base built on the slightly tainted ruins of some old Slaanesh worshipping society
>AND, said psyker and her lover were hand holding earlier in the day
>Well that is the recipe for a major warp rift
>Like as if “Slaanesh busted a fat nut all over this world” as some would say
>This isn’t literal, the wave of daemonic goo that sprayed out of the warp rift when it first appeared only travelled a few hundred meters
>Had Slaanesh literally ejaculated on the planet it would completely flooded in at least six different dimensions
>But several hundred Tau and Mordians fighting in the vicinity got transformed into degenerate mutants, Spawn, or Steeds of Slaanesh thanks to the goo, and once combined with the daemonettes squirming through the warp rift, make for an instant army of reasonable capabilities
>Too bad we don’t have any real need to be here, it is rare for us to get to such a strong start
>Oh well, I guess I will just do what I usually do
>Provide repeated relief to sexual tensions as well as associated physical modifications in order to enable this
>Unfortunately most of the humans remaining in the vicinity have already (unknowingly for the most part) sold their souls to Daemon Princes and Greater Daemons I am on relatively friendly terms with
>But my special sixth sense tells me that there is a young female Mordian officer with a particular need for my services hidden away at a nearby bunker
>And also a Sister with a strong attraction to a colleague. Meh, if I had a nickle for every Sister I corrupted, I could buy half the galaxy
>I rally my forces and head in the direction of the bunker, though do sent some trusted subordinates after the Sisters
>Some of pyromaniac Khornates follow us
>Sure, why not, the more the merrier
>Be Zeta-23
>Detect major warp incursion
>Use amplivox to yell at Mordians and Valhallans to get mounted up now
>Tank's auspex gives me greater range, can see exodites, iron warriors
>also see greenskins
>Right where we need to go
>Some soldiers are acting weirdly horny
>Slaaneshi shenanigans
>Tell them we have orks to kill, the old foe that nearly took their home
>No idea if Mordian was ever invaded by orks but they get moving almost as fast
>Start playing prercorded prayers to the emperor over vox to protect against warp bullshit
>Map a route through the swamp that won't sink us
>Be Lord Noctis.
>Following the Slaaneshi horde to the bunker.
>They seem to be going faster than us.
>Almost as if they are repelled by something about us.
>It's probably Khorne keeping our somewhat war like discipline up.
>Who cares just keep torching the swamp when it comes to it.
>We finally arrive at the base.
>Turret fire comes out and into the horde and my troopers.
>Order Hellhounds to move ahead start torching the turret emplacements.
>Hellhounds begin to move up past my bikers and troopers.
>Order Sentinels to give the Hellhounds back up so that no mordian tank busters come up from nowhere and disable our Hellhounds.
>Order troopers to try and slowly make their way up to the bunker using the Hellhounds as cover or to just stay with me and the bikers and hunker down whilst the turret fire continues.
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>Be me
>Mordo Octavius of the Deathwatch
>Doing patrol in some systems watching out for Xenos activity
>Get report of an incoming hive fleet to a nearby swamp world
>Head over to check it out
>Arrive in system
>Scanner immediately pics up hive fleet in orbit, tau, orks, eldar, a chaos storm brewing, and an iron warriors fortress inside a volcano
>Order the captain to schedule an exterminatus a century from now
>Immediately jump to the next system, our work here is done
>Be Inquisitor [REDACTED].
>We land and get out of the starweaver.
>I pull out my [DATA EXPUNGED] and start scanning.
>Malarai wants to know what exactly we’re here for.
>Figured there’s no harm telling him since he knew about it when we “first met” back at [DATA EXPUNGED].
“Well this ark was originally part of the Great Crusa—“
>My explanation is cut short as orks come out of the wreck, we stare at each other then hear more orks on swamp boats approaching, from the other direction I also see the Eldar Exodites also coming and think I hear Tyranids or possibly those Slaanesh steed things behind them.
>I pull out my plasma pistol and start firing at the small group of green skins coming out of the side ways hallway.
>Tell everyone to get inside.
>Have to prey they haven’t reached the [DATA CORRUPTED].
>Be Nividia the Coominator, Daemon Princess of Slaanesh
>Arrive at the command bunker
>It is not particularly big, but there are a few turrets, sally ports, and defensive trenches that are lightly manned
>I let the Khornate pyros handle most of it while I focus on the main door
>Use mega smite to blow open the door
>I shrink myself down to enter the compound
>Two soldiers in the tunnel fire on me with their lasguns
>I pause and enjoy the sensation for a bit before using the power of the warp to incinerate their gear and clothes and replace them with something more suitable
>Then I give them a minor taste of the Gift of Chaos and the male grow a number of new genitals of varying sizes on different parts of his body, while the female’s arms are replaced by glistening tentacles that invade her every orifice, including a few new ones that got added
>I leave them writhing in ecstasy as I mega smite the next door and enter the main control room
>There are a few more soldiers and aides here, so I casually mumble a spell that radically alters both their minds and flesh (as well as some parts of the structure of the room itself) so I can focus on my main interest without distractions
>Binding leather straps replace her clothes and suspend her over the main vox station
>Then I psychically heighten her suppressed sexual frustrations to the max, but bound as she is she has no way to fulfill them
>Then I open all Imperial and Tau channels so that her moans (laced with my magic) will flood the airwaves
>I am not really good at scrapcode and other technological corruptions, but I figure this will at least corrupt a few, distract many others, and deny most of the rest the ability to coordinate
>I garrison the bunker with some daemonettes and mutants so that no one can easily undo my good work, then inform the Khornate commander of what I did
>I pause for a bit as I try to decide what to do next, but then I sense some Eldar gathering at a shipwreck nearby
>Snatching some Eldar souls is always a good way to keep in Slaanesh’s good books, so hey, why not?
>I convert some of the surplus mutants into Steeds and other mounts, and conjure up a few chariots so that my entire force can move swiftly
>There is also a few tainted Tyranids in the area I might be able to bring under my sway
>Be Galibo the Treacherous, formerly Captain of the 1333rd Line Company, now Champion of the 1333rd Warband
>I was experimenting with my latest warp powered prototype weapon when Davvok orders me to take my forces and invade some tertiary command outpost
>Ugh, clearly he is on a power trip again, a few dozen vassals or a single marine could easily take that
>Davvok was always a bit of a dick, but I burned bridges with several other warbands, Davvok needs the extra marines, and I need a quiet workshop and lots of resources for my projects, so we try to accommodate each other for now
>I decide to be generous and assume he wants my forces out in the field for some other purpose
>I load up several squadrons of Terrax drills with marines, plus a few hundred members of the GoreMurder and Violator regiments of my vassal humans
>We make it most of the way to the bunker before one of my psykers informs me that elements of the Slaaneshi and Burmaze warbands have already taken it
>I vox Davvok for further instructions only to be told that he is meeting with his warpsmith on some personal project
>This also figures
>I send some vassals and a few marines to harass a nearby force of Guardsmen while I wait on hold on the vox
>The “on hold” music is a dramatic rendition of the old Olympia Anthem which was impressive the first time I heard it, but is now very annoying after listening to it for thousands of hours over the past few years in Davvok’s service
>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>Currently trying to readjust my underwear without attracting the attention of any of the suddenly extra horny Guardsmen (or women) in the vicinity
>On the warp voyage to this planet, it took three new recruits being sent to the infirmary with severe scrotum injuries for me to establish I am not interest in suitors, but suddenly all my hard work seems to have been undone
>No doubt some sort of Slaaneshi magic is involved somehow, I have had enough run ins with them on past adventures to know the signs
>It doesn’t help that I am one of the least dressed people in the regiment
>When I finally decided to leave that shower block, I did so in a bit of a rush and ended up stealing a few too-small undergarments and an unidentifiable flak vest rather than try and find my old gear (which was still soaked in swamp water anyways)
>Then of course there was the explosion, the chase scene, you know the rest...
>So now we are hanging out in the swamp while Yuri tries to organize the remnants of our regiment with a few Mordians, adhumans, plus the new vehicles and equipment that “arrived in the post”, which is probably some sort of euphemism or slang, but I never got the joke
>Yuri is trying to get the Mordians to wear some surplus Valhallan winter uniforms that arrived in “the post” as some weird way of demonstrating his authority over them. Seems like a good way to ensure they pass out from heat stroke before they can do anything useful, but whatever, I don’t really care, and Yuri is probably still pissed that some sixty year old paper pusher broke his jaw
>Meanwhile, Zeta is trying to play canned prayers over the vox to dispel the horniness, but then it gets replaced by raunchy moaning noises
>I feel the slight increase in tanna cravings I always get when affected by Slaaneshi magic, which is a sure sign everyone else is getting affected far worse
>Some people start tearing out their voxbeads and tossing them, while others are just stunned, or even worse start engaging in degenerate behavior
>There is also a scramble to either protect or dismantle the large vehicle mounted loud hailers
>Naturally at this time a force of Iron Warriors and Traitor guard slam into the side of our formation
>I guess fixing that wedgie will have to wait...
>The first guy to attack me is a brute in blood-dyed fatigues and heavy armor vaguely reminiscent of an Iron Warrior swinging a wrench
>I manage to shoot him in the throat and duck three wrench swings before his adrenaline runs out and he falls over dead
>The second one is an androgynous mutant wearing a few bits of leather and an iron mask that is half feminine and half masculine, swinging a stun baton
>I manage to slay it last second and avoid the still active stun baton, but the creature’s bulk knocks me down and pins me
>It smells like sex, rancid sweat, chocolate, and warp dust
>Ugh, why does this always happen to me?
>I try to worm my way out from under it, but just manage to sink deeper into the mud
>Be Zeta-23
>Vox is being overloaded with Slaaneshi crap and the prerecorded prayers aren't helping
>Chaos forces starting to attack
>Engage multitask.exe
>Switch to local network only, better security but less power
>Start guiding the tank crew through firing and designating targets for the few other tanks that have gotten their shit together
>The mechanicus doesn't have many prayers that don't involve fixing things while you're doing them
>But there are a couple that have come about from the long association with tanker regiments thanks to their holy machines
>Recite the litany of the blessed tank on laud hailer, M41 edition six baneblade crew version
>A rare prayer indicated for both mechanicus and ecclesiarchy services
"Blessed are we who drive the tanks of the Imperium"
>Engine roars and we move to meet the chaos forces
"Blessed are we who load their fierce weapons"
>Bolters firing
"Blessed we we who tend their mighty fuel stores"
>Lascannon flashes
"Blessed are we who guide their sight"
>Turrets rotating
"Blessed are we whose spirit is as steel"
>Screaming heretics crushed beneath treads
"Blessed are we who need nothing but the armour of Mars and the armour of contempt"
>Baneblade main cannon firing
"Blessed are we whose faith cannot be shaken for it is the might of a baneblade bearing down upon our foes"
>Enemy vehicle exploding
"Though we pass through the shadow of the valley of evil we shall feel no fear, for our armour is ceramite and our sword is eleven barrels of hell"
>Demolisher cannon firing
>Sabaton - Panzer Battalion begins playing
>Be Sergeant Yuri
>Get the Mordians that are staying to put on the uniforms a few faint from heat stroke landing face down in the mud.
>The vox officer come up to me with a message and I hear Zeta’s voice telling me that he has command of a baneblade and invites me up.
>That would be pretty helpful against the hive tyrant and whatever else is near him.
>Before I can respond back the vox is suddenly flooded with lewd noises.
>The Mordians with vox beads throw them down but a couple begin groping the females and some of the males in their ranks and mine.
>Seriously just how green are these troops?
>An iron Warriors and traitor guard warband arrive probably on their way to somewhere else since we’re quite literally in the middle of frakking nowhere
>We don’t have time to get bogged down here so I yell at everyone to get back into their Duneriders and to start doing a fighting retreat
>I start climbing the ladder into the command baneblade and hear a familiar song start blasting from the speakers to drown out the moans.
>Be Colonel Farragut
>Deliveries have been made, and now I'm drinking myself to unconsciousness in the back of the postal ship
>As I drift off to warm oblivion I hear strange sounds coming from outside
>Grumble to myself and walk outside to yell at these idiots to knock it off
>Bunch of horny motherfuckers going at it
>Fucking slaanesh
>Start shooting the ones who are already undressed
>Yell at the ones who are getting there to stop or I'll shoot them too
>Shoot a couple anyway for good measure
>I don't think postal regulations cover shooting guardsmen fallen to chaos, but fuck it, I'm drunk and I don't care
>Notice that one of the cogboys has actually gotten a baneblade running in a fucking swamp
>Also a non-slaanesh chaos warband is here too
>I haven't drunk enough alcohol for this shit
>And my emergency supply just ran out
>Shrug to myself
>The post has been delivered
>Guess I'll steal some of the Valhallan drink instead
>Hop on the big baneblade playing loud music and try to find a way inside
>Be Felinid Merc Captain Scarlett
>Zeta stops getting pulled and Yuri lands right on top of me
>Malcador Cyan and Violet are never gonna let me hear the end of this
>Those two have been shipping me and Yuri since I slept on his lap that one time
>Thinking quickly I smack him and call him a perv
>Convoy comes to a stop.
>That post man we were supposed to kill is here. I don’t know if that contract is still valid or not given I lost contact with that inquisitor.
>Later Yuri gives a big speech and welcomes the surviving Mordians into his regiment
>Not sure that’s how that works but whatever
>Iron Warriors attack again and some of the Mordian guardsmen are getting a bit too handsy with me and my girls.
>Start slashing with my claws then climb onto a crate and begin sniping the chaos marines
>See the postman climbing Yuri’s new baneblade
>Wonder if I should shoot him to or not.
>Be Death Jester Malarai
>Good news: The first greenskins we met have died
>Bad news: More have arrived
>Good news: The Exodites are here and engaging the orks
>Extremely Bad news: Servants of She Who Thirsts are here
>Immediately inform Velrani
>Inquisitor tells us to get inside the ship, so me and my troupe charge forward into the ship
>The orks here appear to be scavangers, so most of them aren't a threat as long as they don't get in large number
>The Inquisitor is scanning for whatever he is looking for, all he was able say was that this ship was from their failed Great Crusade
>I just hope that no greenskin has found it

>Be Shadowseer Velrani
>Get a report from Malarai
>His misadventure has landed him in deep shit already
>That's a new record I think
>Have to choose between helping my fellow Eldar, or the mon'keigh
>Not a hard choice to make, as I order our flyers to disengage from the bombers and head towards the crashed ship
>When we get there we see the chaos unfurling
>Tell our star weavers to drop our infantry near the Exodites to help cover them
>Sky and void weavers are to perform hit and runs on the enemies
>I land with the infantry and start crushing greenskin skulls with my miststave
>One of their psykers try do something, I am able to interrupt him and cause his head to explode
>Suddenly a daemon that snuck up on me is cut in half
>I look and see Wilted Rose, our masque's resident Solitaire and loner
>I don't need to give him orders as he dives into the daemon lines, and limbs begin to fly

>Be Warboss Swampdrinka
>Always has been Swampdrinka, never Swampdrinker
>Arrive on me big swamp boat to my big crashed boat
>See a lot of knife ears, some on a big lizard, some in weird clothing
>See a bunch of things with pink skin, even more than the pink skins
>I tell my weirdboy to ask Mork and Gork who we should attack first
>His head explodes
>I give the order for my boys to attack everyone
>Be navy breacher “Nurse”
>While waiting in Y’Es II’s ring we witness a huge Necron fleet arrive and engage the bugs in orbit
>This is the best news we’ve received since we lost contact with the navy blockade at the system’s edge
>A also pick up a Deathwatch battle barge arriving just to immediately fuck off.
>I fucking called the marines would be useless!
>Ticker owes me 70 thrones
>The Necrons have forced the Nids closer to the planet
>We pick up a Hive ship that is definitely their leader and likely has a Norn Queen aboard
>We load up onto the boarding craft and launch
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>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>Someone is kind enough to lift the dead weight of me, but I don’t see who it is
>As I scramble to get up, I can’t find my lasgun in the mud, but manage to grab someone’s knife
>Two more of the androgynous mutants are approaching, and somehow no one else seems to be in the immediate vicinity
>I give them my best “the voices are telling me to kill you look”, which is usually enough to scare off locker room pervs, but against hardened rapists who worship the god of rape and whose gear and physical shape has been optimized to facilitate rape, and who literally showed up to a gunfight with melee weapons to increase their chances of capturing someone alive even if it greatly reduces their own combat ability, well I like to think they hesitated for a second, but they probably got distracted by the sound of a bunch of engines starting
>Wait what?
>The nearest baneblades and cogboy vehicles all start fleeing the battle
>Since when does Yuri run from chumps like these?
>Then I spot an Iron Warrior exploding a Guardsman with every shot while stubber fire bounces of it like light hail
>Oh right, those guys...
>A ricocheting bullet somehow kills both of the mutants menacing me and I start running after the nearest baneblade before it can build up too much speed
>Luckily it is actually a stormlord, so I have some cover once I manage to clamber aboard
>But then an Iron Warrior kills off several people around me, so I get out of cover, run along the side of the tank to the front, and then jump off the tank and onto a hover pallet that seems to be making its way to the front of the convoy
>From my new vantage point I can see that most of the fighting is confined to the rear, but elsewhere confusion still reins as some military anthem competes with the Slaaneshi soundtrack on various laud hailers, and many Guardsmen still mill about in confusion trying to decide whether to get in a vehicle, help out with the fight, continue getting changed, or shake some sense into the Guardsmen who are still being affected by the Slaaneshi magic
>I also spot the “postman” shoot a Mordian who was trying to change into her new uniform as per Yuri’s orders, a Valhallan who has been underdressed since arrival on the planet, and then two Valhallans who were so under Slaaneshi influence they decided to try to “do the deed” in the middle of the battle
>Okay, those last two may have been justified, but trigger happy wannabe-commissars (or actual commissars) tend not to last long in this regiment, if Yuri doesn’t get him then I may have to do something...
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>Be Trys’ta, “Eldar Corsair”
>The Harlequin Shadowseer has ordered a bunch of her forces and allies to converge on a ruined mon’keigh ship to help the Exodites not get slaughtered or something
>Me, Lou’sissara and Skittledoo all load up into the Venom and are there in a heartbeat
>Hmm, lets see, we got Harlequins, Exodites, and a few others in a three way fight with swamp orks and Slaaneshi
>Seems like my sort of fight
>I jump from the Venom and behead an ork carrying a choppa/banjo before I even hit the ground
>Another ork in coveralls, a straw hat, and a crude blunderbuss type weapon tries to shoot me, but I leap over the discharge of nails and rocks, do a spinning somersault, behead the ork, then land behind him on a dead tree stump before his mates even realize I was there
>From my vantage point I can see several crude swamp boats full of orks about to join the fight
>I pull out my splinter pistol and load an ammo crystal of my own personal creation
>I call it a “shocker crystal” but it is actually a plant based neuro-venom that causes most muscle groups to spasm out and then lock up, while at the same time the nervous system gets overloaded with conflicting sensations
>I mostly use it for slave raids since it immobilizes victims until the antidote is administered, and then the lingering affects of the nervous system overload keep them pretty pliable for the next few hours
>But it has other interesting tactical uses as well
>I snipe the orks driving the two lead swamp boats and their muscles lock up, causing them to drive their boats into the heart of the Slaaneshi mob instead of towards a fight between some orks and exodites they were probably trying to join
>Even better the swamp boats behind those two blindly follow, not realizing the state of the two lead drivers
>Shocker crystals also work just great on unarmored targets like Slaaneshi mutants since only the smallest splinter needs to embed itself in skin for the neurovenom to work
>I hold down the trigger and pan my splinter pistol in a wide arc across a wave of approaching mutants
>At least a dozen are immobilized and the rest break off in confusion
>No antidotes for that lot though given the boring “no captives” policy. Luckily the neurovenom will usually kill its victims if no antidote is administered in 20 minutes or so
>A daemonette bounds towards me
>At last, a worthy opponent
>My blackstone implants prevent it from messing with my head and seem to slow it down a bit, but it is still incredibly fast and durable
>It is only after it tried a high kick for the third time that I was able to anticipate its move and lop off its leg
>The daemonette promptly spewed out raw energy, then withered into some dried mummy-like thing
>But then two more daemonettes approach
>Bring it, I can do this all day bitches...
>Be Lord Noctis Carrigan.
>Finished clearing out the bunker.
>Well at least the Slaaneshi did according to their commander who now has his troops garrisoning it.
>Welp time to go after those Valhallans again.
>Order all troops to move out.
>Surviving flamer infantry move into the Hellhounds and we begin to move out.
>Bikes jumping over ridges, Hellhounds smashing through the burnt remains of trees and Sentinels charging chainswords revved for Khorne.
>Eventually come across them fighting the Iron Warriors.
>They also have a baneblade and Leman Russes.
>Those don't have flamers or any other kind of promethium based weapons so we might as well wreck them.
>Order all bikers to ready melta Lances.
>Hellhounds are ordered to use their multi-meltas.
>Infantry disembark and join the Sentinels in fighting any Valhallan not in their vehicles by scorching them with flamers.
>Spot a felind, shame I don't have the hook and chain to grab myself a felind slave.
>Guess I'll have to just knock her out the old fashioned way.
>I'll do it once we scrap these Leman Russes though.
>Be Zeta-23
>We're trying to break out through the Iron Warriors when the bikes and hellhounds start coming back
>Plot firing solutions for everyone to hit fuel tanksl and maximise aoe
>Yuri starts yelling at those on foot to get in the Duneriders
>For some reason the postman is climbing on our tank
>Try to boost tank's firing speed and accuracy as best I can with MIU connection
>We saw them off once and we didn't have any tanks then
>Keep a visual sensor out for the important looking chaos guy who hooked me before
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>Be Watchmaster Seth
>Watching leviathan’s advance through the fronts of the 4th tyranic war assigning soulblades to various systems in Segmentum Pacificus
>Receive astropath signal from Mordo Octavius requesting an Experminatus to the planet Y’Es II in a 100 years due to presents of orks, nids, Necrons, and Eldar
>And that’s it
>Turn over the paper to make sure there nothing on the other side
>Send an astropath message back telling him to turn his ship around, get off his ass, and do his Throne Damned job! Before I shove my guardian spear up it
>Throne this is why I assisted Issac to his squad without him Mordo wouldn’t do anything
>Before I COME OVER THERE and shove my guardian spear up his ass.
>Be Lord Noctis.
>Continuing our assault on the Valhallans.
>Their tanks are trying to aim for Hellhound fuel tanks.
>They succeed on their strikes and start taking out our Hellhounds.
>However we get revenge and begin to cripple Leman Russes with our melta tipped hunting lances.
>Finally the Malcador Infernus bursts into the scene and begins to fire it's Lascannons at the enemy baneblade.
>Heavy stubbers support the infantry and the inferno cannon starts to cook the crippled leman Russes.
>I'm laughing my head off as I drop my spent lance and pull out my sabre.
>I use my bike to jump over a Leman Russ using a ramp.
>Toss a grenade into the gunner's open hole.
>Laugh as it explodes.
>Get reports from the marauders that they have essentially had the Eldar fuck off and the airborne nids are somewhat dealt with.
>Order some of them to come assist with their Lascannons.

>Be Marauder Bomber Pilot Bracker.
>Respond to the orders of Lord Noctis and dispatch half of the remaining bombers to assist in killing Leman Russes.
>Meanwhile I take the remains 14 marauders to chase the Eldar.
>On the way taking out airborne nids with our various guns.

>Be Marauder Bomber Squadron 5 Leader Basil.
>Dispatched by Bracker to assist Lord Noctis and his troops as we are losing Hellhounds rather quickly to Leman Russ fire power.
>Get on the vox for the other 14 Marauders.
"Well well boys, let's go give them some hell"
>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri
>Reach the top of one of the Baneblade armored skirt.
>Get a good view of the battle and see the total frenzy.
>Everyone's killing each other, I don't think anyone really knows whats going on anymore and is just killing whoever bumps into them like a mob of greenskins.
>I yell at everyone to focus on killing the actual traitors and getting the frak out of here
>Some people seam to actually listen and focus on the chaos looking people, or struggle to get back to the duneriders to man the guns.
>See Scarlett sniping marines
>That chaos biker guy who tried to kidnap Zeta also ramps up and takes out a leman russ.
>We don't have any leman russes on our side so I have no idea why he did that.
>Sasha is fighting ontop of a hover pallet.
>The baneblade actually starts to move causing me to slip and land on my hands and knees.
>See the postman across from me and ask him what he thinks he's doing here?
>Be Colonel Farragut
>Holding on for dear life as the entire swamp erupts in gunfire and explosions
>Slaaneshi cultists are running around on top of Iron warriors and chaos bikers
>Several of the tanks have already exploded
>Surprised they even made it that far instead of sinking into the swamp
>Trying to find my way into the Baneblade when I hear someone yelling behind me
>It's that valhallan sergeant who's in charge of this mob
>I think he's asking me what I'm doing here
>Yell at him that I'm looking for booze
>Mime drinking a bottle so he understands
>Continue looking for a way into the baneblade
>Be Exodite Varmara
>The fight against t'greenskins is goin' fairly well
>Mah own Wraithspear cleaves 'eads as well as it always did
>We've taken a few wounded, but casualties're fairly light
>That is, 'til the t'swamp is bathed in a purple light
>Every Eldar knows what THAT means
>She-Who-Thirst's forces start pouring errywhere
>Orks fighting us, us fighting dameonettes, daemonettes fightin' orks
>Hey, where'd those Harlies run off'ta?
>Get back 'ere!
>Most'a the daemonettes're busy fightin' t'orks, but a load'a charioteers break away an' come at us
>Gator'o are tough, but they ain't agile or fast
>Chariots can run rings 'round 'em, slash at their legs
>One gets its driver's 'ead chopped off and crashes, but they're just too fast
>There's a general retreat to the treeline where they can't follow
>'Least there would be, if an entire circus'a Harlequins hadn't turned up an' started blastin'
>Related to those few currently nowhere t'be seen, ah presume?
>And that sound!
>I recognise t'noise'a Drukhari weaponry an-y-where
>The heck they doin' 'ere?
>Ain't no slaves to be found on this world, and they ain't after us
>Man, why'd we 'ave to fall in with the two creepiest groups'a Aeldari?
>Still, we seem ta be outta imminent danger
>Pull a packet'a "salted popcorn" from a pocket while the daemonettes an' orks slug it out
>Good stuff, this
>Must remember to grab more next time ah go int'a that ship
>Now, ah think I'll go an' find them Harlies, think they went inna that ship
>Be Shas'O O'Bovar
>Attempting to reach more defensible ground
>Trudging through a foul, chest-deep swamp
>At least, the infantry are
>Being in a battlesuit has its perks
>Come through a thicket and see...chaos
>It's elves versus orks versus more elves versus daemonettes versus even more elves
>You know what?
>Not our fight
>We've got bigger bugs to fry
>Back away into the swamp
>Shouldn't be too far
>Hey, what's that noise?
>Sounds like muffled music from somewhere in the swamp nearby
>Seems like some gue'la singing about a gator on the lawn
>Is it getting louder?
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>Be Sister Trisha of the Order of the Bloody Rose
>Me, Kimberly, and the rest of our squad finish burning the last of the daemonettes on a pyre
>Watching as their bodies fade into the ether I cant help but wonder what caused them to appear here?
>Alexa had said we were a "Soulblade" and meant to stall Hive Fleet Leviathan here for long enough for the Imperium to put together a proper response
>Yet all we've encountered so far have been slaanesh daemonettes
>I ask sister Gertrude if she's sure we're on the right planet while she patches up Eva and me
>I know those overrated ermine mantel bitches had problems with tunneling tyranids during their battle, wonder how many we can kill if we find any?
>Suddenly I get a vox message and put back on my helmet
>Apparently there's a huge tyranid force up north led by a hive tyrant that the former occupants of this base are headed to slay, the vox then devolves into moans that sound like they are from one of those Tau propaganda cartoons
>Sister Superior Alexa says our break is over and its time to get a move on
>I thank the Emperor/Omnissiah for power armor and we stand up to begin yet another hike through the swamp
>I wonder if we'll encounter any of these crocodile xenos or eldar exodites that were in the pamphlet about this world?
>Radio in thecockpit starts blaring horrible noises
>Sounds like someone being intensely pleasured
>Must be something to do with those Daemonettes
>Pull leads out of the radio until it shuts up
>Some of the infantry take their helmets off or snap their antennas
>Doesn't shut up that singing though, which is still getting louder
>Be Mordo Octavius
>Happily scouting a new world that has signs of genestealer infection and only genestealers when the astropath gets a message
>Ah, must be Watchmaster Seth and the approval for the exterminatus I sent
>Go check the message
>It's not approval of exterminatus
>It's orders to go back to the world we just came from
>With an explicit reference to deeds no astartes wishes to hear of
>Doesn't even give us any objectives, just says to go back
>Fucking watch master
>He already assigned us that cunt Isaac and now this bullshit
>These retards want us to fight hordes of xenos in "honourable" personal combat instead of exterminatusing them from orbit or actually acting like spec ops
>Fuck it, I'll petition the Inquisitor later
>We'll just go there and kill a hive tyrant or two and leave
>Order the Captain to turn the ship around and go back to that literal fucking backwater swamp world
>Be Lord Noctis.
>See the Valhallan commander get on top of his baneblade.
>Target acquired.
>Rev my bike and pull out my sabre as I ride straight for him, I'll use something to jump off of and slice his head off.
>Ruined Tank spotted. The perfect ramp.
>Ride onto the ruined tank and leap for the Valhallan.
>Sabre raised and bike making its lovely noisy bike sounds.

>Be Marauder Bomber Squadron 5 Leader Basil.
>Arrived to the enemy's location.
>Spot my lord leaping off a ruined tank to get a guy on a baneblade.
>Oh fuck they have a baneblade.
>Regardless time to support them out.
>Open fire on the enemy tanks using my Marauder's Lascannons.
>See my fellow comrades follow suite and fire at them with their own Lascannons.
>Be Zeta-23
>Baneblades are laying waste to the enemy
>Sabaton is playing
>Hostile air incoming
>Retask some allies for air support and try to get some auspex blinding going
>Biker coming for our tank
>Aiming for Yuri and the Postal Colonel
>Giving crew orders
>Wait for it...
>Wait for it...
>He's in the air, now!
>We rotate turret at max speed and spin treads in opposite directions for even more speed
>If we miss with the shell we should hit him with the cannon itself
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>Be Lord Noctis.
>The baneblade turns it's turret quickly and fires.
>By the miracle of the dark gods the shot misses.
>However for every blessing from the dark gods there is a cost.
>For me that cost was landing on the cannon awkwardly.
>Because my bike slammed down awkwardly both it and myself fly off the other end of the baneblade.
>Tumble far turning my bones into dust in the process.
>Also end up in a shallow bog.
>Final act of the whole transaction is that my bike lands on top of me.
>Whatever bones I had left that didn't get turned to dust just broke.
>Feel like Evel Knievel
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>Be Skitarii Marshal 9s.
>Yuri wants to know if I can get tank support.
>I talk with the skitarii ranger with the enhanced datateather and he gets a message through to the arch magos explorator.
>She's still buisy fighting Nids and Necrons in the void, but says she will try and send down Skorpius disintigrators, dunecrawlers, skitarii, archaeopter and drop keep reinforcements to rendezvou in the north were they can land if she is able.
>After cutting the link we are attacked by Iron Warriors and traitor guard.
>I pull out my radium serpentum and blast 4 riders off their bikes with four shots before reloading.
>I wonder where Marshal Derro is? I'm sure he'd love fighting these guys.
>Be felinid Merc Captain Scarlett.
>The stack of crates I'm on begins to move and I realize that I climbed onto one of the hover pallets by mistake.
>The convoy is moving again.
>See Sasha on another hover pallet next to mine hanging on for dear life in the fire fight.
>Yuri and Zeta's music and "speech" has snapped some of the Valhallans and Mordians out of their trance and they're climbing into the Duneriders or other Baneblades and onto the more hover pallets.
>IX-999 tells me over the vox AdMech reinforcements are on the way to the tyranid warzone, then starts emptying his gun into heretics.
>Tangerine tells me she managed to contact some sisters down south and tell them our rendevue point before the vox was disabled
>I could almost kiss her if I didn't have to shove her down save her from getting shot, the plasma only singes her tail.
>Hear a crunch and see the the chaos rough rider tumble off the command baneblade into the mud crushed by his bike.
>I spit on him for good measure.
>Were the fuck is private Nyan in this mess?
>Still be Starlett
>Forget the pic I wanted to use.
>Be Shadowseer Velrani
>Some of our corsair allies have joined the fight and are tearing through daemonettes and greenskins
>The Exodites have retreated a bit and are licking their wounds
>With them backing up, we amplify our holograms and hallucinogenic smoke
>The Battlefield becomes a miasma of lights and smoke
>Just in time for the chaos aircraft we engaged before to arrive at our location
>Don't they have members of their own species to kill
>I tell some our more elite skyweavers and void weavers to engage the mon'keigh aircraft
>I also get some reports of Tau nearby, but they seem to be keeping their distance
>And just to add to the chaos, all this fighting has attracted some Tyranids to the battlefield
>With all this chaos, there is no way for us to fully defend the ship, so some daemonettes, orks, tyranids, and one of the Exodites are able to get into the ship
>I tell Wilted Rose to try and find the leader of the daemonettes, since they are our top priority right now

>Be Death Jester Malarai
>Me, my troupe, and the inquisitor are moving through the abandoned ship.
>The inquisitor keeps scanning, trying to find whatever he is looking for
>We here a noise in the hallway behind us and I aim my shrieker cannon down the hall
>From around a corner comes on of the Exodites
>Was expecting much worse
>This situation is looking worse all the time, so I try to be nice
>I let her know we are searching this ship with this mon'keigh inquisitor
>I would explain more, but my speech is interrupted by a roar
>We look ahead of us and see some orks being chased by hormagaunts
>One of the orks yells out "Get back to the thinkin' room!"
>Probably meaning a command room, probably not a bad place to look
>We charge forward, blasting and slashing through anything in our way
>Be Ordo Chronos Inquisitor [REDACTED].
>Keep following the [DATA EXPUNGED] trail with my [CENSORED BY HIS HOLY ORDOS] cogitator down the sideways halls of the ship.
>A swarm of hormagaunts chased by beast snaggas comes down one of the corridors.
>But the harlequins quickly deal with them.
>Death Jester Malarai tells me he wants to look in the bridge for clues.
>I tell him that’s not necessary since I know exactly were we are going.
>It’s just my map is off since everything is sideways so we keep needing to find alternate route.
>He can send some guys there if he wants to though.
>We reach a hall that turns/ decends into a flooded part of the ship.
“Looks like we’ll need to swim for a bit.”
>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>Oh great, the pyro bikers are here now
>A tank battle breaks out near the rear of the convoy with hellhounds and sentinels trying to torch a few of the lighter vehicles before the baneblades blow them all to smithereens
>Meanwhile bike mounted skirmishers start attacking the convoy from all sides
>Also they have air support
>Lovely (sarcasm intended)
>The hover pallet gets knocked around a bit by nearby explosions, but for the most part seems like a fairly safe space to be
>The other Valhallan in the hover pallet gets sniped...
>Okay, maybe not then
>I go grab her lasgun and start hunting for anything that might threaten my little oasis of safety
>The bikers are surprisingly adept at weaving their way in and out of convoy
>They wield a mix of melta lances, flamers, laspistols, crude fire bombs, fire axes, and chains, and are mostly dressed in ragged green fatigues or fireproof suits
>They sure like their fire motif
>Also crap, I am also wearing green fatigues, the top half anyways
>But in the black underwear I stole, I would just look like one of the Slaaneshi-type cultists, and there is no time for looting the uniform off the dead Vahallan, not that I would want to wear a fur hat or a long coat in this weather
>Maybe I will just lie low for a while...

>be Mordo Octavius
>Returned to the system that's getting fucked by every xenos race known to man
>Made sure to flip the off switch on Isaac so he doesn't wake up this time
>Ordered the Captain to orbital strike several targets that have no imperials around them
>jumping down in drop pods
>sent one squad to an old heresy wreck that's emitting weird signals
>while my squad is deploying in the middle of an imperial convoy that's heading to some tyranid area north
>we'll stick along, use them as meatshields until we see the hive tyrant, kill it, then fuck off
>fucking watchmaster and his noble combat bullshit
>the drop pod lands
>hits something hard
>auspex says it's a bike of some kind
>whoops. Hope it wasn't friendly
>get out as the pod immediately starts sinking into the swamp, artax style
>immediately see chaos bikers and iron warriors
>of fucking course
>Be Lord Noctis Carrigan.
>Somehow survived my bones getting crushed and turned into dust.
>Eyes blinking over and over as that cat girl spits on me.
>As she moves away I begin to crawl out of the bog very very painfully.
>Finally crawl all the way out and catch my breath.
>Watch as a space marine drop pod of the Deathwatch crushes my bike underneath it.
>Marines burst out but thank the dark gods they don't spot me.
>The drop pod begins to sink.
>Welp there goes my bike along with it.
>Thankfully my vox communicator survived the Evel Knievel experience.
>Get on it.
"Malcador crew, target the Deathwatch. Rough Riders come pick me up. Hellhounds ram into the enemy tanks and detonate. Cover this area in the fire of the Dark Gods"
>Hang up and watch as one of my most loyal soldiers curves through fire and flame to pick me up.
>I ought to promote him.
>Would have preferred him to pick me up if he didn't use the hook and chain method.
>Be Zeta-23
>Succeed in preventing the biker from killing Yuri and the Postal Colonel
>The deathwatch is here too
>But now the hellhounds are charging us
>One detonates in front of a baneblade damaging it badly
>Pop hatches and yell for Yuri to get inside and close the frakking hatch behind him
>The Colonel can come too
>Start targetting tracks on hellhounds
>If they fall short they'll only scratch the armour
>See infantry falling back onto duneriders
>Thankfully the baneblades are between them and the hellhounds for the most part
>Use luminen coils to overcharge lascannons and fire faster
>We should be able to make most of them fall short but we'll take some battering
>Good thing these tanks are only technically ours I guess
>Feel like I should be complaining about the abused spirits of these noble machines but you get numb to it after a while
>See a some of the hellhounds get stopped short and detonated early
>It's working
>See Malcador targetting the deathwatch
>Try to vox them, tell them to take cover
>Hope the deathwatch channel I used on the shrine world reaches them
>Be Lord Noctis.
>Getting dragged away by a loyal biker.
>Calling from the top of my lungs to all non Hellhound crews and the Malcador Infernus crew.
>Rough Riders begin to ride away and Troopers throw their fire bombs before legging it.
>Watch as Hellhounds begin to slow when getting closer to the enemy due to their tracks being targeted.
>Still a a pretty big range for an explosion.
>It'll be sad when the Malcador Infernus goes kaboom but we can always steal another one from somewhere else.
>Or get the Dark Mechanicus to fix it up if we recover it.
>Laugh as I watch the detonated Hellhounds fire spread throughout the swampy jungle.
>Deathwatch were probably going to exterminatus the place anyway.
>Get on our level, Imperial Dogs
>Speaking of the Deathwatch.
>The Malcador Infernus, The Emperor that Weeps continues to rain fire upon them with it's Infernus cannon and multi melta whilst it's Lascannons target the baneblades.
>Keep laughing my head off as I'm dragged away.
>Order riders, troopers and sentinels to retreat back to the bunker occupied by the Slaanesh Cultists and mutants so we can redeploy later.
>Might grab some of the lesser Slaanesh aligned mutants and Cultists to forcibly conscript them into the Burmaze Arsonists.
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>Be Exodite Varmara
>Dang, ran outta popcorn
>Ah well, looks like t'orks and daemonettes should 'andle 'emselves
>No time like the present ta do some nosin'
>That side door ah remembah should be 'round this side
>There is is, not a spec'a rust on t'andle
>Oof, still as stiff as ah 'member
>Massive airlock door slowly creaks open
>Good thing ahm the only one strong 'nuff t'open this
>Grab one of the electric torches I left in the airlock for my runs into the ship
>Begin walking down steeply angled, well-remembered paths towards--
>Wait, where'm ah goin' again?
>Realise I have no idea where the people I came in here to find are
>No matter, I know how'ta find 'em
>Reach one of the security rooms scattered around the ship
>There's enough ancient dregs'a power in this place that a few thangs are still online
>Sweep dust off the consoles and search for the emergency power handle
>A few screens flicker slowly and unsteadily to life, showing cameras and a UI
>Most cameras are offline, but a few are still showing grainy feeds
>A good number of them show orks all over the ship
>Let's see if ah can 'member 'ow to use a keyboard
>A few minutes later, a motion alarm goes off from the portside aft hold on Q Deck
>Flick over to the nearest working camera
>It's them!
>Odd, they're heading towards the aft flooded sections
>A'ight, I think I know da wae to 'em
>Scramble down drunken hallways, wonky staircases and leaning elevatus shafts
>Some familiar, some not, dispatch a couple'a Orks
>They should be 'round 'ere somewhere
>Round a corner with the light in one hand and the wraithspear in the other
>Hear the unmistakeable while of a Shrieker Cannon charging
>Guess ah found'em
>He(?) launches into summin 'bout searching with a mon'keigh
>Okay, dat's cool an' all, but--
>They suddenly go chargin' off t'fight some Orks an' bugs comin' in
>Hey, get back 'ere!
>Tie the torch to my ear bandage with some spare wire
>Leave some for me, will ya?
>Not done with y'all yet
>Be Colonel Farragut
>The tank is currently getting pelted by every weapon known to man
>Or at least it feels like it is
>Screaming for alcohol at the Valhallan sergeant when a hatch pops open and a tech priest pokes their head out
>Says we can come inside
>The valhallan sergeant hops in immediately and I follow too
>close the door behind me just as they asked
>doesn't really help with all the holes appearing in the tank though
>Immediately ignore the tech priest and valhallan and go looking for alcohol
>There's got to be something here
>Open a box and notice cleaning fluid for the tank
>This'll do
>Start drinking the whole thing in one go
>Be Zeta-23
>The Postman and Yuri are finally inside
>Postman immediately starts drinking cleaning fluid
>The fire-obsessed chaos forces are finally pulling back under the cover of yet more explosions
>Think one of them is flipping me off, might be the important one from before
>Mostly keeping the hellhounds at bay means only a few tanks take more than light damage
>A couple are damaged enough that they'll need lifting out and good luck with that in a frakking swamp
>Something takes out a baneblade entirely, think it may have been the Malcador
>Fortunately the explosions clear out most of the battle and we can finally move out once everyone gets their shit together
>Plus without so many trees to eat in this whole region maybe the nids will eat someone else for a while and we can find a way to bomb their spawning pools or whatever
>Gesture to the weird box the postman dropped off and tell Yuri I think we can use it against whatever the frak the hereteks are doing at the Iron Warrior base
>At least 67.04% sure they'll be trying to wipe us out with some bullshit or summon some kind of technodaemon
>Even more sure the box will either stop it or turn it back on them or the nids or something
>And with this we don't even have to breach their base
>It's better than waiting here for them to have another go anyway
>And the infantry are basically all mounted up by now
>We have totally got this for real this time
>Be Mordo Octavius
>Not a goddamn xenos in sight
>All I see are slaanesh cultists and chaos bikers shooting everything
>Shoot a crocodile thing that tries to sneak up on us but I'm pretty sure it's a native
>Currently under fire from a malcador infernus which is setting the entire swamp on fire
>Get messages from a tech priest telling us to take cover and sending us all the local tactical data
>Sigh to myself as I realise this won't be a quick in and out
>Order the squad to put down some suppressive fire on that infernus tank, see if they can't hit it's fuel
>meanwhile begin moving to the baneblade the tech priest is in to see if we can't get things moving and go kill a hive tyrant or something
>Be Zeta-23
>Deathwatch marine coming over trying to get me to go kill some nids
>Tell him we should be moving out presently and there's more chaos between us and the nids
>Don't know what forces the nids have but we'll hit them hard with the tanks if we find them
>In the meantime look out for the lizard natives, their spears are ridiculously good
>Also there was a Dark Angel hanging around who seemed lost but he shot the xenos and chaos pyros pretty good, you might want to take him home or something
>And finally there's eldar but they seem to hate chaos and other xenos more than they hate us right now so shoot them last I guess
>Be Mordo Octavius
>Tech priest is informing me of the situation
>We have to go through more chaos to get to the tyranids
>And the eldar are the friendly "we need to fight chaos and be friends! we totally won't betray you later!" variant
>let out a big sigh
>I hate these missions
>At least there's another space marine around, maybe we can recruit him
>Tell the tech priest that we'll follow along until we get a clear shot at the nids, but we can't make any promises about the eldar
>quietly vox the rest of the squad to shoot them on sight
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>Be Sergeant Yuri
>Finally enter the baneblade after going temporarily deff from it firing next to me.
>The postman also enters and starts downing tank cleaning fluid like its water.
>Probably trying to kill himself to get out of this mess.
>I sit in the command couch behind Zeta and pull up the tactical display on one of the screens
>Get a nice view of whats going on around us.
>See the marines have finally gotten of their lazy asses and have deployed
>Reguardless it's enough to get the traitor guard to retreat and hopefully the Iron Warriors will also get off our tail soon.
>Zeta and XI-999 says we can expect mechanics reinforcements at the rally point
>And the sisters from the shrine world are also meeting us there.
>Scarlett and her mercs seem to be still alive.
>With everything set I tell Zeta to get us the frak out of here.

>We arrive at the location of the hive tyrant.
>Place looks like the surface of of a moon
>All the biomass stripped by the bugs
>Can see Biotitians, Norn Emessaries, and those 6 legged ones with the big guns (I think they're called dominatrixes but it's been a while since I looked through the primer.)
>Bright side with all this wide open space and no more trees when can spread out our forces.
>Order Zeta to charge the nearest big bug, fire everything, and blast the Sabaton as loud as it will go

>Be Galibo the Treacherous, formerly Captain of the 1333rd Line Company, now Champion of the 1333rd Warband
>Davvok still has me on hold
>The small force I sent to harass the Imperial armored convoy have taken heavy losses despite the assistance of a large Burmaze force, in particular the GoreMurder soldiers have all but been wiped out
>Even a few Iron Warriors are slain, but they are mostly recent recruits, cheap imitations of the real thing with a few decades of experience tops
>I pull the remaining Iron Warriors out, but leave some of the remaining Violators behind to cover their retreat. They are a worthless rabble anyways, barely better than the mindless mutants spawned by that Slaaneshi force
>Not that it ends up mattering, within minutes I get a report that the armored convoy has fought its way free and is now heading to the main tyranid landing site
>Oh well, that was mildly amusing
>I get the remaining Violators to loot the convoy staging area and the Imperial logistics ship
>In the meantime I continue to mobilize the bulk of my warband out in the field in case Davvok actually has some orders in mind for me
>Be Felinid Mercenary Nyan Mc Fluffy
>Wake up in the midst of trying to give a fellatio to a woody knob on a dead tree
>Wait, how did this happen?
>Where are my clothes?
>What the fuck!?!?!
>Try and remember what has happened
>My head is really blurry also it hurts
>I remember something about being hit in the head with paddle, and then being mad at the Skitarii for some reason, and then all sorts of lewd moaning noises flooding my vox-bead which I thought wasn’t working but apparently it was
>And then at some point I removed all my clothes and gear and ended up in some part of the swamp I don’t recognize
>At least I hope it was me who removed them
>I touch my ear
>Oh shit, the vox-bead is still there!
>Even though it is not making any more noises, I pull it out and toss it
>Some sixth sense tells me moaning noises are responsible for my current predicament
>Who knows what I might have ended up doing if vox-bead hadn’t stopped working again
“Don’t stop now, things were just getting interesting”
>I spin around and see a trio of horrendous mutants who have been watching me for who knows how long
>The leader is very masculine from the waist down, very feminine from the waist up, and wears a tau helmet and carries a tau carbine, though clearly was once human. Its voice is distorted by the helmet but is still disturbingly smooth baritone with an oddly feminine pitch to it
>On its left is a woman with no eyes on her face, a large eye on one of her four breasts, and a long prehensile tongue she uses to lick said eye, and a laspistol
>On its right is a tau with massive genitals, two heads, and a body that from the waist up is grotesquely over muscled on one side, and slender and feminine on the other. The male side carries a small cattle prod
>Aside from the one helmet, none of them wear anything except a few bits of leather
>My first instinct is to protect my modesty with my hands
>But then I realize this is the least of my problems
>Fuck my life
>Still be Sergeant Yuri.
>Also I forgot to mention that’s it’s started raining.
>Be Mordo Octavius
>FINALLY get to some xenos after fighting through who knows how many chaos scum
>let the tanks handle most of that since chaos technically isn't our area
>Now my force of marines is fresh and ready for the fight
>An empty field stripped of biomass awaits in front of us, and a horde of ravenous and very angry tyranids
>The baneblade and the other tanks are already charging straight ahead, firing everything they have
>Also blasting strange music which sounds nothing like the standard battle hymns, but I won't judge
>Charge forward with the rest of my squad, dodging fire and sniping zoanthropes and hive guards where we can
>The hive tyrant sits in the middle of the tyranid swarm, getting to it won't be easy
>But we are the Emperor's Chosen, warriors of the deathwatch, and we Know No Fear
>distract the guards near the hive tyrant by splitting my squad into two
>I and 3 others stand before the Beast, it's furious eyes regarding us with pure malice
>Brother Horner has lost an arm and wields but a plasma pistol while Brother Ramilles has run out of bolter ammo and holds off the other xenos with his two power axes
>Lift my power sword into the air
>charge forward, my men firing at the beast to cover me
>leap onto the Beast and begin hacking at its appendages and head
>Might even make a trophy out of this one
>Be Zeta-23
>Yuri rules that we have to go deal with the bugs before we do any weird chrono box stuff
>Can't really blame him
>We go find the Hive Tyrant and a bunch of other big fucking bugs
>Yuri tells me to crank the sabaton and charge the nearest big one
>Plug directly into as many systems as I can and boost them with my cogitator systems and luminen capacitors
>Provide everyone I can some optimum firing solutions
>Crank the Sabaton
>Charge a biotitan while our lascannons fire at double speed, taking bits out of its knee
>Let the other gunners do their thing, not much I can do to speed up a bolter
"For Valhalla and the Omnissiah!"
>Be Lord Noctis Carrigan, General of The Burmaze Arsonists.
>Taking inventory of what we got left.
>No Hellhounds that we deployed are left.
>Alright going to have to steal some from the guard or get the Dark Mechanicus to build some.
>Twenty rough Riders bikes left.
>We can build those at home.
>Fifteen Scout Sentinels left.
>Eighty infantry troops left.
>As well as thirty Marauders.
>That's a point need to check in with Bracker.
>Basil and his fourteen other marauders ended up following us back to the base.
>Vox to him to take his squadrons back up to the fleet, might as well have them restock on bombs and just bomb the rest of the planet.
>Vox the Malcador crew.
>Still alive the Deathwatch and Valhallans moved on.
>Order it to head to our location.
>They confirm and disconnect.
>Vox to the tetrarchs that deployed us to come pick us up.
>Hell might let out small orbital strikes to go along with the fire bombing runs.
>Vox to Bracker.

>Be Marauder Bomber Pilot Bracker.
>Continuing to engage in dog fights with the Eldar.
>They've sent reinforcements.
>Fifteen Marauders Vs the Eldar.
>I like my odds.
>Get a vox from Lord Noctis.
>Wants us to head back up into orbit and restock on bombs.
>Tell him no can do we chased after the Eldar and are in a dog fight.
>Can hear him cursing on the other end but he then tells me to finish up if possible and then grab some more bombs.
FYI, I think we hit bump limit in about 2 hours, so we maybe 8 hours tops to wrap things up
>Be Norn Emissary
>Hanging out eating biomass and directing the brood
>Almost everything edible here is either a plant or in big stone boxes throughout the landscape so just keeping our big stuff safe until the commanders reveal themselves
>But some fire wielding bastards are burning half our food to ash, maybe we need a new plan
>At least I got to eat some angry lizards
>See Imperial canned food appear
>Big cans with guns and little cans like the clothes they wear and cans emptying themselves of soldiers to guard their rear
>The little cans charge over to the tyrant while the big ones start by blasting the biotitans in the knees and ranged weapons
>Several stumble to the floor
>Not dead but not much help anymore either
>Call the brood against the biggest cans
>Our smaller creatures are far away, chewing through the stone food boxes
>It will take them a while to get here
>Gather my psychic power with my sisters and focus our psychic shadow across the Imperial food to send them reeling and running
>If this works their little cans with big men will be cut off
>And their decanned soldiers will flee into our returning gaunts and raveners
>I hope
>Be Iron Warrior Warsmith Davvok 1445th grand company 1333rd, XXIInd, and 6789th warbands.
>Reach the second Mordian command bunker in our Terrax Assault Drill and breach in.
>Can’t find anyone from the 1333rd here
>After mowing down several commanders I go to the surface to get a better signal.
>Galido the treacherous contacts me and says his marines and guardsmen were caught up fighting a group of valhallans, mordians, felinids, and Skitarii on the way that somehow got access to baneblades
>I ask him how that’s even possible when his men should’ve been traveling underground in assault drills
>He gets quiet.
>Before I can chew him out for waisting MY resources, the warpsmith cuts into the call and says his little project with the dark Mechanicum is finally finished.

>The volcano erupts
>Or more accurately fucking explodes, and I finally see what why warp smiths and Hereteks have been working on
>It’s a titan
>Or more accurate a huge daemonic metal dragon the size of a war titan
>Magma drips off its black metal wings
>Cables the size of trees dangle down from its body
>On it’s chest is a star of chaos with the cog of chaos at its center
>Behind which is a furnace of rips that starts to glow white hot
>It arches it’s back and breaths lava up into the air
>The lava then rains down again on the jungle
>It’s radius far larger than the explosion it made emerging from the volcano

“Commander, I’d like to introduce you to Ancalagon.”
>My chief warp smith says over the vox I can hear the grin on his face even through the static.
>Be Lord Noctis Carrigan.
>The tetrarchs arrive and begin to pick us up.
>Just as I see a titanic war machine spewing magma upon the earth.
>All those trees catching fire.
>God I am erect right now.
>The Malcador Infernus eventually rolls up and gets loaded up.
>Everything all loaded up we begin our ascent back to our fleet.
>Vox to the Iron Warriors that we are pulling out.
>Also tell them that we'll at the very least have our Marauders resupply on fire bombs and give them assistance if they still need it.
>Once done I hang up.
>Suddenly remember all my bones are crushed or dust.
>Thankfully got medics on standby.
>Going to be a while until my bones fully heal but if Evel Knievel could do it then I certainly should be able to recover.
>Laugh as the tetrarchs make way to the fleet.

>Be Marauder Bomber Squadron 5 Leader Basil.
>Made our way back up to the fleet and are currently resupplying on bombs.
>Bracker still fighting Eldar down below in a dog fight.
>I swear that man just wants to die and crash his bomber into something to make an even bigger fiery explosion.
>Be Zeta-23
>The biotitans start hitting the ground
>Crippled, not dead, but it's fine
>Detect a massive explosion and new titan sized contact on long range auspex at the Iron Warriors base
>No time for that, dodging biotitan attacks
>Then the norns do something
>Feel a massive pressure in my skull and want to run away
>Pass my battleshock test thanks to Sabaton and Yuri's leadership stat
>Not all of our forces are so lucky
>Glitch out for a half second then an autonomous process takes my servo arm and opens the mysterious ordo chronos box
Frakking bastard Inquisitors.scream
>Why can't he just leave a note
>Archeaotech tank shells again
>Well, I thought this was going to be for dealing with Iron Warriors but that's pretty cool too
>Servo arm moves some fancy augur shells and I nearly get sick while it picks up some other kind of shell
>Sometimes I wonder if keeping a biostomach is worth it but I have developed taste for vodka
>Databanks cycle
>Mouth starts reciting the technical specs of some kind of ancient experimental antipsyker ammo while arm unloads the shell
>Cycle power to my augmetics
>Regain control
>Norns and biotitans advancing on our line
>Lower Tyranid forms only a few clicks out
>Start passing the null shells to the loader and tell Yuri and the crew we need to shoot the Norns with this shit RIGHT FRAKKING NOW
>Be Felinid Merc captain Scarlett
>Arrive at a scene straight out of a Metalican tech priest’s wet dream.
>As far as the eye can see the place has been stripped of all life aside from the space locus
>Rain starts coming down, turning the lifeless soil to mud.
>The Yuri and Zeta’s baneblades go to charge the big bugs, leaving the gaunts and rippers for us and the infantry to deal with.
>From a top my pallet me and my mercs try sniping the warriors while the guard and Deathwatch fight the gaunts
>Hear an explanation and see a Titan sized black dragon emerge
>Also start hearing a chittering at the back of my mind.
>Suddenly feel like I really shouldn’t be here.
>Like I should start running.
>Like I need to leave right now.

>Just when I’m about to try and find a way to make the pallet servitor reverse I see a beam of light part the clouds.
>Several drop keeps, coffin ships, archaeopters, and landers rain down from the grey sky.
>The AdMech reinforcements have arrived.
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>Be Inquisitor [REDACTED]
>Emerge from the water into Cargo Bay Thetta 7
>The exodites have also joined us
>Place is untouched by the orks thankfully, guess they had no interest in it since you had to swim to get here
>Place is flooded but we climb onto some of the floating crates.
>A storage containers over we see our goal.
>There we see our goal.
>A massive rusted sword big enough for a primarch
>On it's hilt is an eye with the symbol for Nurgle replacing the pupil as it gazes up lifelessly.
>It's stabbed into the corpse of a long dead Skitarii and pinning it to a crate
>Surounding it are the rusted and skeletal remains of other skiatii, tossed about the room in the crash.

"Listen, I don't have a lot of time. But that sword is the reason we're here. It's been corrupting this world to nurgle for millennia. We have to destroy it before the Iron Warriors get it. But as soon as we damage it a Great Unclean One will spawn. I need us all to focus on ending this before time runs out. Are we ready?"
>Be Shadowseer Velrani
>Fighting off greenskins, chaos pilots, and daemonettes from this mon'keigh ship
>All for Malarai's side quest
>Get a report from some of other forces that mon'keigh have engaged the hive tyrant and biotitans
>Fuck this
>I tell Malarai that we are withdrawing to go engage the main tyranid force
>The only assets I am leaving behind is 1 starweaver and a squad of skyweavers to serve as a transport out
>They will stay at a distance and wait for his call
>And I am sending Wilted Rose inside the ship to assist him
>With that we begin boarding our aircraft and fly towards the tyranid battle
>The chaos fighters follow us
>I zap one out of the air with psychic lightning causing it to crash into the swamp
>Tell our fliers to fly below the tree line, we are skilled enough to not crash, but it will be slower then flying in the open air.
>Hopefully the mon'keigh will either give up or crash into the trees

>Be Death Jester Malarai
>Have to swim through some underwater section
>Still haven't had time to change out of the Valhallan uniform I stole
>Eventually we all surface in a half flooded room littered with dead mon'keigh and rusted metal
>And at the center of it is a sword bearing the sign of Nurgle
>The inquisitor tells us that when he destroys the sword it will summon a great unclean one, and if we don't it will continue to corrupt this world for chaos
>Not my job to deal with Nurgle, but his worshipers do smell slightly worse than most mon'keigh
>Then get a report from Velrani that she is withdrawing most of our forces, leaving only a transport we can call on
>And Wilted Rose is coming to help
>I do a quick head count
>Me, the inquisitor, 5 players, the exodite, with a solitaire that will be here within minutes
>Best case scenario, I would give us 50/50 odds
>Unfortunately for my men, I find death hilarious
>I tell my troupes to get into formation and let the inquisitor know we are ready
>Be Ordo chronos Inquisitor [REDACTED].
>Malaria says he’s ready and I nod.
>I draw a few [DATA EXPUNGED] symbols on some of the crates and walls.
>Not heretical symbols, mathematical ones that should weaken the influence of the dark gods.
>With that done I climb up as far away as I can, pull out my plasma pistol.
>And shoot the sword right in the eye.
>A cloud of green gas fills the chamber
>It smells worse than [DATA EXPUNGED] on [REDACTED] served with a side of [ERROR 404].
>When the gas clears the Great Unclean one is in the water corrupting it.
>Already the place smells worse than the sewers of [DATA LOST].
>The harlequins start cutting and shooting into it.
>I then notice some of the rusted skitarii start to move.
>I quickly start shooting them but they’re too many and soon zombie skitarii start to surround us.
>I hear the great unclean one laughing because one harlequin kicks it right in the face.
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>Be Marauder Bomber Pilot Bracker.
>Continuing to chase the Eldar.
>One of their psykers blows up one of our Marauders taking our number in this squadron from 15 to 14.
>I am slightly miffed especially as Basil is barking down the vox to go refuel on bombs as Lord Noctis wants us to just bomb this planet.
>No, my pride won't let me.
>Pray to Tzeentch to guide my Lascannons as I fire down at the Eldar who have now taken to going under the tree lines.
>Heavy Bolter turrets keeping the Nids off of us.
>Continue to fire down even as the systems say we are getting dangerously close to the trees.
>Pull up but watch as two bombers fail to pull up in time taking us from 14 to 12.
>Pull up to a sufficient height and begin to rain down lascannon shots again at the trees.
>Perhaps the changer of ways can score some lucky lethal hits for me.
>Be Norn Emissary
>Some food is fleeing
>Some is fighting
>More is falling from the sky
>Smell some disgusting food-that-vanishes in another big can a distance away
>See a walking cans with guns burst out of a mountain
>Feel a foul thing in one of the driving cans with guns
>I can only see it with my eyes not with my powers
>Lash out with neurolance but it does nothing
>Start to run towards it
>It must die
>Be Zeta-23
>First norn emissary is almost on us
>Null shell loaded, start screaming at the gunner to fire now
>He seems to be waiting on Yuri's order and I try to reverse away from the monster but it's fast
>Finally, as it reaches us he fires, putting the round right into its skull and blowing it apart
>Nid dies and I feel the pressure in my skull drop
>Nids screaming all around
>Some of the nearer lower forms die outright and the rest flee
>The higher ones are merely knocked around
>Even the other Norn Emissaries are knocked back, while the biotitans merely lose cohesion, acting confused
>Allies recovering from psychic shock
>Deathwatch taking advantage of a stunned hive tyrant
>Mechanicus reinforcements shoring up our line and moving to deal with the chaos titan
>Loader readies another shell and I move us into position to bring another Emissary down
>If we take down these and the hive tyrant we have little to fear from these horrors
>Gunner puts another round into an Emissary
>Not a kill shot, only blowing into its chest
>Whatever this shit does to psykers kills it anyway
>Resolve targeting solutions to centre mass for these things, we can't waste these shells
>We have literally just enough for the next three emissaries and the hive tyrant
>The biotitans will have to go down the old fashioned way
>Task our allies with keeping the Norns suppressed while we finish them and the Biotitans away
>Once they and the tyrant go down we've cut their connection to the hivemind
>Still be Zeta-23
>Clarify to allies we haven't taken them down yet and to keep up the rate of fire
it looks like this will wrap up before I get back from sports

good job everyone, see you next time
>Be Mordo Octavius
>Things have gone from bad to worse, a volcano erupted and the battlebarge informs me that a titan sized dragon is emerging from it
>Fucking chaos bullshit, I'm not dealing with that
>But we're still fighting the hive tyrant
>My men have run out of ammo and have now switched to melee, hacking at the hive tyrant's legs or holding the other tyranids off
>Suddenly feel the pressure building in my head as the xenos do some psychic attack
>Prepare myself to resist and keep fighting
>suddenly the psychic pressure stops when one of the norn emissaries head explodes
>What by the throne did that?
>Look for the source and the only thing I can see is the baneblade in front of the emissary's corpse
>Weird. Have to investigate that later. But for now, time to purge the xenos!
>Take advantage of the stunning effect and bury my powersword in the tyrant's eye
>That seems to wake it up, but it's already too late
>Bury my overcharged plasma pistol in its other eye
>The beast screams only to be cut short as I take my power sword and thrust it into the base of its neck
>The entire thing starts to tumble and I ride the corpse to the ground
>Stepping off I see that the rest of the horde has been enraged out of their stupor and is running towards me and my squad
>My men are ready as always
>Point my sword at the foul xenos
>For the Emperor!
>Be Zeta-23
>Not hearing updates from most of our forces
>Think it's the psychic backlash but can't be sure
>See the marines bring down the hive tyrant as we blast yet another Norn
>One more left
>But the Marines are being rushed in revenge
>Drive the tank through as many lesser forms as I can to aid them
>Signal mechanicus to help them out
>Realise something as I'm positioning for the gunner to take the final shot
>The scrapcode...
>When I handled that shell
>It's not changing anymore
>I can read it now
>The warp isn't in it anymore
>Final emissary goes down and the hivemind breaks entirely
>Reconnect to the noosphere directly for the first time in a while
>Bunch of chaos bullshit from the chaos titan
>Some weird shit from...
>Frakking warp there's a buried ark mechanicus?
>Right where the new daemon presence is located?
>And its skitarii are coming online in a bad way somehow
>Let Yuri and the tankers celebrate while I drive basically on autopilot
>Repurposing the scrapcode
>Set InfectImperial = False
>Set InfectChaos = True
>Add in some prayers to the omnissiah
>There's more to it really but this should do for a quick field hack
>Broadcast it at the chaos titan and the ark
>Not sure if it'll do anything to such powerful systems but they'll at least have to fight it off
>Get back to mopping up the lesser nids that haven't fled
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>Be Sergeant Yuri.
>The mechanicus have arrived in force.
>Knights go after the norn emissaries, titians after the bio titians
>And legions of vanguard skitarii mob the gaunts
pic related
>We blast apart the hive tyrant with the shell Zeta had sending the hivemind into disarray
>I watch as an imperator titian and a few reavers go to do battle with the black dragon
>A deathwatch fleet solblade lead by a guy called Seth takes care of the Nids and Necrons in orbit along with rescuing some navy breaches in a hive ship.
>We start mobbing up the nids and daemonettes with our baneblades
>Zeta says there is a crashed ark full of undead skitarii as well
>By the time we arrive all the zombie skitarii are gone and all that's let is some orks that the deathwatch deal with.
>We also go to the Iron Warriors base eventually and clear out all that are left, but theirs no sign of the leader or most of his command staff.
>The ark mechanicus we arrived in takes us up again and we move onto the next sub sector that has the system with the guy we are looking for is in.
Sorry we had to rap this up so quickly. I have to get going but hopefully everything important was mostly resolved. Like I said I plan to do a thread around Christmas about tallarn sent to an ice world, so look out for that. Thank you to all that took part. See you next time.
it's been a good time
hopefully I'll be around for the tallarn thread
>Be Exodite Varmara
>It seems that mon'keigh at t'front has a plan
>We've long since left the familiar areas of the ship behind
>I ain't ever ventured this far aft before given iss'all flooded
>Lucky thang ah'm a good swimmer, eh?
>Ooh, wassis place?
>'kay, based on t'other holds, there should be a switch for some emergency lighting right 'round.....'ere
>A handful of ancient grimy lights flicker on, giving the room some dim light
>Water...crates...dead metal-mon'keigh...a giant rusty sword...
>Ouch, looks like that 'urt
>Mon'keigh is diddlin' 'round with the sword
>Says summin to erryone, gets some affirmatives
>Whaddid 'e say?
>Ah can read Gothic, but ah don't speak it
>Hey, hey, mister Harlie
>Can ya translate? Ah don--
>A massive cloud of absolutely foul green gas fills the room and coalesces into the most ugly creature I've ever seen
>What in all t'gawds name is that?
>The others immediately launch into close combat with the green monster
>Welp, guess we're fightin' this thang?
>Nobody tells me nuffin 'round 'ere
>Some of the wrecked mecha-mon'keigh start to get up and lumber with seeming hostile intent towards us
>Raise my wraithspear with equally hostile intent
>A'ight, you lot deal with Big Ugly, I'll keep ta coast clear
>Dang, there's a lotta them, good thang they ain't smart
>Ya know, we might all be in grave danger, but twirlin' and swingin' and choppin' heads like this, ah never felt more alive
>Wonder if I should join up with the Harlies after this is over
>If we survive, that is
>Sure beats bummin' around with a fishin' rod for t'rest'a mah life
Man, this seven-day autosage is killing us. See you next time I guess.
>be colonel farragut
>wake up in a navy medicae room
>wtf happened?
>doctor informs me I had a severe case of poisoning on account of drinking tank cleaning fluid
>everything's wrapped up and we're leaving the planet
>oh okay, that's cool
>go back to sleep and hope I don't get written up
>Be Felinid mercenary captain Scarlett
>After weeks of nonstop fighting Y’Es II is finally free of xenos and chaos.
>I ask Yuri we’re he’s going and he says he’s going to an administratum planet to sort things out
>Checking the date I see my abhuman mercenary license is about to expire so I tag along.

It was fun doing this again. Hopefully I’m there next time.
Damn /tg/ is slow today, we hit bump limit 10 hours ago and this thread is still up

I remember a time when you had to bump every two hours during peak times

At this rate we will be deader than /qst/ in a few years
>Be Death Jester Malarai
>The inquisitor breaks the sword and the great unclean is upon us
>We start firing and slashing into it
>But as we do, the rusting and rotting corpses begin to rise and attack us
>Wilted Rose rejoins us, but there are so many cybernetic zombies upon us
>The is only one choice
>I tell my troupe to engage in-
>Suddenly find that everything has died
>Looks like only 2 of the 5 players with me survived
>The inquisitor and the exodite also survived
>And I only have one arm now
>The inquisitor says that the universe didn't have time to show every detail of the battle and skipped ahead
>Velrani says the mon'keigh reinforcements are arriving in mass, and that it is time to gtfo because the Deathwatch are here
>I tell the inquisitor he is on his own now as I call my transport to pick us up
>As me and my surviving soldiers leave I realize the exodite is still there
"So... Deathwatch marines are on the world and are likely to murder all the Eldar they come across, most likely wiping out most of the Exodites on this planet. You're good in a fight, want to join the Dance of the Harlequin's? We get free dental!"
>I am lying about the dental, but it will be too late before they learn that.
>We leave the crashed ship as mon'keigh forces are started to converge on it, and despite a few close calls make it back to the webway

Sucks that it had to end kinda abruptly, but it was a blast playing with y'all

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