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/tg/ - Traditional Games

>Be me.
>Tank Sergeant Yuri of the Valhallan 545th armored.
>This time someone high up thought it would be funny to send us Valhallans to a desert planet.
>Apparently we’re here to stop the Eldar from doing some kind of ritual involving some ancient ruins and the planet’s moon.
>The fuck I thought the Eldar were our allies now?
>Whatever not like it matters much.
>At least I was lucky enough to get a Leman Russ with AC.
>Feel sorry for the guys outside from though.

>Sun is finally starting to set, so that will be good for them.
>After just 30 minutes of the sun going under the horizon a second sun rises from the opposite direction. This one somehow even hotter than the first.
>The fuck? This world has two suns?
>That wasn’t in the report.
>Whatever, at least I still hav—

>The AC just broke.

Fuck My Life
>Be me.
>Ace lightning pilot Tiff
>Scouting ahead for the ground forces.
>Catch sight of the ruins the Eldar are setting up shop in.
>See a massive Wraith Gate sticking out of the sand.
>That thing is definitely new, well new compared to the ruins.
>Thing is big enough to fit a Titian.
>Bonesingers are setting up fortifications.
>Like A LOT of fortifications.
>Looks like they’re preparing for a siege.
>Circle back to inform my superiors.
>We’re going to need more than just some Valhallans if we want to take out these eldar.
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>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri.
>I swear to the God Emperor, if I ever get to be in the same room as the bastard in high command that keeps assigning us Ice Warriors to the wrong fucking planet.
>My one and only source of comfort in this oven of a world is the knowledge that some Tallarn regiment is freezing their asses off somewhere else in the galaxy.
>Lucky bastards.
>If I thought the jungle planet from a few months ago was bad, that's nothing to this hell hole.
>At least there we had shade and water.
>Sure it was more humid than sauna but at least you could argue life could survive there.
>Here there's nothing but dust and sand as far as we can see.
>Makes me wonder where the air is coming from.
>As I ponder that question I see a dust cloud moving towards us.
>WTF is that thing?
>Its coming right this way.
>Giant sand worm surfaces headed right at us.

MFW I really fucking hate this planet.
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>Be me.
>Felinid Mercenary Captain Scarlett.
>Dickhead inquisitor hired us to spy on knife ear fags with specific orders not to engage.
>Watch for 5 weeks as they build there gay towers and vox all the details to a scribe servitor in orbit.
>At first it was interesting, but now just watching them build for weeks has gotten super boring.
>Add to that we're sweating our asses off in this heat.
>This planets suns has given all of dark tans with very obvious tan lines.
>Due to our leotard uniforms many of my girls are complaining about not being able to wear bikinis anymore.
>Another day of watching is interrupted when we see something on the horizon to the south.
>Pull out magnoculars and see a bunch of Valhallans about to be eaten by a sand worm.
>Wonder if its the same group of Valhallans from that jungle world a few months ago.
>Fuck it, decide to help out since its better than sitting here doing nothing.
>Leave XO in charge of camp incase something interesting finally happens with the eldar and take half of the squad with me.
>Hop on our dune sleds and flick the reigns of the giant insects pulling them.
>Be me
>Ryza-pattern plasma gun, designation "H07-D4WG".
>On new assignment, faithfully continuing my service to my wielder.
>Constantly feel like I need to cool down, despite not firing a shot during this entire mission.
>Periodically feel my internals getting desecrated by some miniscule, fine debris.
>Where in the warp are we?
>Let out a crackled whine to alert my master of my displeasure
>Feel pounding on my frame, accompanied with the words "damn desert sand keeps hurting Anya"
>Feeling much more clear, letting out a hiss of relief
>Slowly getting annoyed by this new environment

Only ever hurt a previous master once, but if this "desert" shit keeps up, I might end up doing it again by accident
>Be Orikan the Diviner
>Learn of a ritual that could make me a god again.
>Arrive at planet nice and early.
>Decide to take a short nap while I wait for the stars and moon to be right.
>Wake up 200 years later a few days before the ritual.
MFW aeldari fags have overrun the place.
>Decide to lay low for now.
>Use device like one me and Trazyn used on Serenade to remain hidden.
>Will shank Farseer and hijack ritual once they start.

Please don’t let this thread die before I get to become a god.
>Be me.
>Enginseer Zeta-23.
>Formerly a magos, some bullshit about firing Xeno-weapons got me demoted
>Pointing out that xeno-weaponry must be depowered before being brought aboard a ship and Imperial Guard regulations state that weaponry should not be depowered in active warzones except when fired at the enemy kept from getting killed
>Now on permanent secondment to Valhallan 545th
>Probably to get me killed without direct execution
>Desert planet
>Sand is coarse, irritating, and it gets everywhere
>Thank the omnissiah for mechanicus robes covering my essential systems
>At least the tanks are cool
>Fucking with tank targetting systems, developing a link between tanks for priority targets
>If they all hit something in the same place more or less at once it usually works better
>Or various weak points but I'd need to know where those are
>Point is this tells them where to aim
>Doesn't shoot for them though because that would be heresy
>Guardsmen yelling about a giant worm
>A perfect test case!
>Also I will die if it doesn't work
>Run priority_target.exe
>All tanks receive target data
>Here's hoping the commanders actually fire
>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri.
>Guardsmen are peppering the giant worm with lasguns.
>Doesn’t really seam to be doing anything more than making the thing even madder.
>A few of the of the more cowardly guardsmen flee.
>Beginning to regret not stopping that commissar falling into that hole and burying himself a few days ago.
>Suddenly remember that cog boy saying something about our tanks now doing a lot more damage if they all fire together.
>Whatever, order all tanks within vox range to focus fire on a specific area right in front of the worm and wait for it to be there before firing at will.
>Be me.
>Ace lightning pilot Tiff.
>On way back to base see worm sign headed right for the Valhallans.
>Decide to help out by shooting it then circling back around.
>Hopefully I can distract it long enough for them to kill it.

>Be me.
>Plasma gun
>Feel a depression on my trigger
>Hiss in excitement, as I let loose bolts of glorious plasma for my master
>Can feel the few bits of sand in my internals incinerate and vaporize, clearing me up for subsequent shots
>Whatever we're shooting is something big, but I won't let my master down
>Hear my master shout about tank support
>Start shooting harder, as we don't need any support
>quest threads banned
>40k rp threads still allowed
it is not a quest since there is no quest master, it is more like collective storytelling/world building

sometimes people do these for other settings, but 40k is generally the only one popular enough on /tg/ to attract interest
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>Be me
>Be Ogyrn
>Just happy to be here
> Be Zeta 23
> Worm advances
> Engage combat_sensors.exe
> See all tanks firing
> See a lightning firing
> Since when do we have air support?
> See felinids approaching
> See a plasma gun firing
> See an ogryn having the time of his life apparently
> See a lot of fucking explosions and smoke
> I may need to recalibrate my combat sensors, nobody is happy on a desert planet
> Also it's weird that they locked onto a plasma gun firing
> Wait for the smoke to clear
> Hope the worm is dead, that was a lot of shooting at once
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>Be me
>Be Ogyrn
>Still happy to be here
>Dead worm
>TIme to fire up the grill
>Fresh meat
>Today is a good day
>Being Guardman is great
>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri.
>The worm has just entered range for our tanks.
>Just then a Lightning flies over shooting its missiles and at it, that seams to get its attention as it snaps at, but the lightning is too fast.
>Everyone shoots it with all we have.
>Las, tanks, plasma, the ogryns.
>When the dust clears we see that we achieved very little aside from a few cuts and burses.
>It also looks incredibly mad and rears up to attack us.
>We're going to need more than some tanks, guardsmen, and one lightning to take one of these down.
>But we're all we got so...

>Be plasma gun.
>Master stopped triggering me.
>Can still feel him holding me properly, which means that whatever we were killing is dead
>Heard an Ogryn yell out about some fresh meat
>I hope my master wants to eat this thing; I love it when he uses me to grill things
>Can already feel the cool meat sizzling on my exposed coils, the juices dripping into my systems
>Not to mention, master gets what I presume is a delicious meal
>Hear a shout to fire again
>Feel my trigger being depressed once more
>Hear master shouting again
>Start feeling the vibrations emanating from the beast through the ground and into my master and then myself
>Start heating up in fury
>Stop annoying my master and die already
> Be Zeta-23
> analysing data
> Ogryn appears to be preparing to cook
> Plasma gun's machine spirit may be in distress - possibly angry
> That explains why it showed on sensors I guess
> Worm is not dead, barely scratched
> The targeting program worked though
> Consider the weak points of a giant fucking worm
> Too strong on the outside to really harm it
> I am not a magos biologis let alone a xenos worm expect but...
> Retask priority_target.exe
> Tanks now receiving data on best trajectory to shoot it in the mouth
> Hopefully it can be taken down from internal damage
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>be Felinid Merc Captain Scarlett.
>Crest over a dune in our sleds pulled by giant insects.
>Watch as the valhallans let loose with absolutely everything they have while the worm is distracted.
>It barley does any damage to the creature.
>They stopped firing for some reason.
>Shout over to Cyan and Violet to ready their AM riffle and aim for the mouth of the beast.
>They nod and Cyan rests her rifle on Violet's shoulder to steady while we ride past.
>The beat roars.
>"Fire!" I order and watch as many of the tanks do the same.
>be me
>am sandworm
>life is good
> Be Zeta-23
> Watch worm roar at us
> Tanks fire as recommended
> Felinid fires a rifle too
> Ogryn appears to be wearing a chef's hat now
> Massive explosion in giant worm's mouth
> Wait for the dust and sand to settle
> Sensors indicate the giant worm seems to be fucking off
> Not sure if it's sliding backwards down a tunnel on purpose or if it's just dead
> How the fuck do worms work
> More concerned about this giant Eldar fortress the lightning pilot says they're building
> Keep tracking for underground disturbances anyway
> Knowing our luck it'll probably be back
> Access cybernetic databank regarding Eldar fortifications
> "Eldar structures in the field are made of a substance xenos sing into place."
> Enginseer-accessible information is frustratingly sparse
> Pine for my magos access codes while monitoring sensors and waiting for Valhallans and Felinids to link up and decide what they're doing
> Someone probably needs their machine fixed already
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>Be plasma gun
>Master has stopped firing.
>"It's pulling back!"
>Yeah, that's what I thought, worm.
>Built up quite a bit of heat during that engagement.
>Can't wait for nighttime so I can cooldown.
>Can't wait for nighttime so master can hold me close.
>Remember hearing from master's conversations that we're here to fight Eldar.
>I remember those assholes.
>They killed my previous master, and one of them had the audacity to pick me up and mock me for "overheating".
>Overheated all over that cunt's disgusting arms and face.
>Hope we do a night raid.
>Immediately cool off after every shot and make master happy.
>Maybe even find the bastard that touched me and finish him off.
>In the meantime, it seems like we might have some more patrolling.
>Might start whining if master needs an excuse to see that nice enginseer.
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>After eating enough ordinance to level a hive spire, the worm decided we weren't worth it and left.
>That or it had its fill of explosions.
>Either way one of the ogryns is sad he doesnt get to eat it.
>Try to explain to him that might have been a bad idea.
>Anyway, a much of tan cat girls in leotards showed up riding sleds pulled by...
>I don't even know what, look like giant tics.
>I recognize the leader as Captain Scarlett and we catch up.
>Apparently she and her squad have been here a while spying on the knife ears.
>They're waaaaaay more set up than we thought.
>Go onto vox in my tank and request backup before beginning assault.
>Hopefully we get someone useful, and soon.

>Oh hey the moon is rising.
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>Be Eldar Guardian Genmyna
>Just want to be back home taking care of my plants
>My feet hurt, and this armor is too tight and rides up in all the wrong places
>Got sent to this worthless world since apparently a few feral Exodites live here somewhere, and every few centuries our craftworld builds a large beacon in a random spot just to remind the Exodites we still remember they exist
>The beacon only glows during a full moon because blahblah religion...
>I didn’t bother listening to the briefing
>But this time around some mon-keigh have shown up to cause trouble since they somehow think this concerns them
>Also the runes indicate there are Necron nearby, though, as always, the runes are vague
>Ugh, it looks like the mon-keigh are massing for an assault
>Fuck my life
> Be Zeta-23
> Still monitoring sensors, hanging out in command vehicle
> No movement approaching from underground yet
> But scans return tunnels further down and more extensive than anything I've seen
> Even in the bedrock
> Do worms eat bedrock
> Cybernetic databank doesn't have a lot to say on weird tunnels
> "Don't disturb the tunnels, concentrate fire on any enemies coming from it until they are melted not just dead, a green glow means leave"
> What.gif
> Provide navigation data to tankers, let them know where tunnels come dangerously close to the surface
> Don't want anyone to fall in a hole
> Vox Yuri on secure channel that the tunnels are weirdly extensive and deeper than bedrock and let him know about the weird databank information
> Not sure if it's a problem but he seems to have experience with a lot of things
> Switch sensors to night settings as moon is rising
> General vox to regiment to cool down thermal weapons following the firefight
> "Using tanna as a heatsink is allowable but do NOT submerge the weapon, hold it against the bottom of the container"

You wouldn't believe the mess that happens if that bit is left out
>Be me
>Be former scribe working for dick head ordo xenos inquisitor.
>This is what I get for bringing him his coffee too cold.
>Clearing ruble from Xeno ruins on a volcanic moon for him.
>Apparently pic related needs to line up with some ruins on surface of planet during an upcoming eclipse.
>Have no idea what this thing does, who built it, or why the Inquisitor wants it cleared of rubble.
>No idea how someone like him learns about something like this, but not like I can ask.
>Be me
>Be Ogryn
>Don't get to grill
>Be a bit sad now
>Just a bit
>Mostly still just happy to be here
>Be me.
>Felinid merc captain Scarlet.
>Yuri calls for some backup after I explain just how dug in the Eldar are.
>While we wait for them to arrive i offer to show him to my camp so they can resupply and get some food.
>So long as we remain out of sight of the Eldar I’m not technically breaking my contract.
>Besides they all look like they could use some rest after traveling for emperor knows how long through the desert.
>Be me
>Admin paper pusher
>The Inquisitor wants to find some Rogue Trader who might not have the proper paperwork
>My boss wants me to keep this whole operation within 5% of standard budgeting guidelines
>Find someone stuck some Valhallan regiment in a desert because it used to have polar ice in the area they’re operating
>Fuck it, order a local ice planetoid be broken up and have parts dropped on there location, overpay for fuel by 2% and call it a day.
>Should disrupt local transportation supply enough to make it profitable for target to stay around
>Be new warp entity
>Made from the happiness of an Ogryn
>Ogryn is less happy
>Compel Ogryn to seek out more happiness urgently
>Be ace lightning pilot Tiff.
>Watch as worm gets annoyed and leaves after eating a bunch of explosions.
>Hear over vox the Valhallan commander (apparently his name is Yuri) is requesting backup for sieging the Eldar.
>Think that’s a good idea and head back to base with my report, hopefully they’ll send in some Thunderbolts and Marauder Bombers.
>Bid farewell to the Valhallans for now and fly South.

>Be plasma gun "H07-D4WG"
>Hear from master something about creatures called "felinids".
>We're working together, apparently.
>Must be another regiment or something.
>Xenos are for blasting, not for friends.
>Speaking of, I wonder when we're gonna find more targets.
>Master says something about possibly going to a felinid camp.
>Let out a whine, as I'm still ready for more action.
>"Don't worry Anya, if we get to this camp, we can find some shade".
>Shade might cool you down, but I need a bit more cold than that.
>Either way, I still want to incinerate some Eldar.
>Maybe these "felinids" have some target dummies at least.
>Or maybe they can tell us where to find these Eldar

I do not know where we are, or why we are here. All I know is that I must kill.
>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri.
>Watch as the Lightning leaves, the pilot telling me she was going to bring back some air support.
>Scarlett invited us back to her camp and we accept, a few of the men hitching rides on the sleds with the felinids.
>Arrive at her camp and see it’s very well set up with plenty of tents and food for all her mercenaries.
>Inside of one of the tents is a table with a model of the Eldar base.
>Set up a few models we have to represent ourselves while we plan out our attack.
>One of the guardsmen sees what we’re doing and rushed out saying he’d find some dice for some reason.
>No one has responded to my vox yet but hopefully it won’t just be us sieging this place.
>Ask Zeta-23 if he can somehow call some Skitarii of Knights or something to help us out?
>Also ask Scarlet how many mercs she has here exactly?
>Still be Sergeant Yuri.
>Also forget to mention Scarlett said something about an eclipse coming up.
>That is when we will begin our attack.
> Be Zeta-23
> Yuri wants to know if I can get some mechanicus support
> Not sure they care about an enginseer
> Let him know I'll contact the local mechanicus but who knows
> Still kind of worried about those tunnels though
> Can't even scan them all the way down
> Put it out of my mind for now
> Get on the vox to mechanicus
>> Chance to acquire significant eldar xenotech spotted
>> Logic dictates that we attack in force
>> Without significant mechanicus backup, xenotech may not be properly captured, leading to tech heresy among the populace if it spreads
> Hope they're too excited about xenotech to remember this is a fucking desert and the only things that seem to live out here are giant fucking worms
> Mechanicus is thinking about it, sends warning of incoming "orbital ice drop" around the time yuri has planned the attack?
>>what the fuck does that even mean
> they don't elaborate
> good thing we relocated
> I think
> start fucking with the auspex to see if I can spot what they're talking about, nothing yet
>Be Orikan.
>Be standing right next to Eldar and she has no idea.
>Hear that some humans are apparently coming.
>Can’t have that, if they show up they’ll ruin everything worse than the Eldar.
>Wonder what to do.
>Me me.
>Ork beast snagga.
>Place down thumpa and activate et.
>Wait fur worm ta come.
>See cloud of dust aprocheng.
>Ready choppas
>Az et passes jump up and jam blades into thick skin climbing side.
>Worm is so big it doesn’t even hurt et.
>Reach top.

>Pull out hook chain and secur one hook to mouth.
>Spin hook chain and throw it to secur other.
>Pull up on reigns.
>Worm roars but goes up.
>Pull left.
>Worm goes left.
>Pull not left.
>Worm goes not left.
>be me
>be often
>get assigned to peeling megaspuds
>fuck yeah, megaspuds
>spuds are good, megaspuds are gooder
>life is good
>just happy to be here
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>Be me Tempestor Prime Venenatus
>Get sent here in the name of He On The Throne by Lord Inquisitor Greger Von Rosen.
>Must find an old knight house officially but must depose the governor and put a puppet instead.
>Several regiments are already here to cover our coup
>I hope they are Gilian we could use entrenchment as soon as we take power this place is underguarded.
>MFW they are felinids and Valhallans
>This is going to be longer than expected
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>Be me.
>Corpsman 1386#11432. Or well, was.
>Was removed during last campaign by accident into the Valhallan regiment. And life since, has been a series of dissapointments.
>They're loud, inefficient with their space, occasionally maim each other, render themselves non-functional via the use of certain consumables, and have impractical demands to cool everything, even hygiene water, down to near freezing.
>I have not been demanding however. I have made all efforts to serve de OberKaizer of die Reich, at every turn. And if this means adapting to new cultures, ways, 'recreational activities', and methods of engagement, then so be it. I do not know his will, and I am not a Commander, so I serve dutifully. I bring what skills I know, and what abilities I can muster, to bolster those who serve, while seeking my own redeption.
>But this might just be too much.
>This fucking SAND SHIT!
>The E-tool goes in, a scoop comes out. Then half the scoop goes back in again because it just gets everywhere.
>But that's barely anything! Once you start actually getting something of a hole? This 'Sand' shit fills itself back in. It just... trickles back down, slowly, and insultingly.
>So instead of digging a fucking foxhole, you end up digging fucking three foxholes, and what you get in the end is a shallow fucking open crater.
>Oh and woe betide you if you try to stack the sand to make a wall. Because guess what? The shit just trickles down itself again, until you've got a slightly raised surface!
>And as soon as you're even remotely done entrenching? Boom! Wind, or vehicles, or some local wildlife comes by, and shakes everything up enough that what was a man-deep hole with 45 degree walls, becomes a shallow crater with near zero blast protection. Again!
>And don't get me started on what happens when sand gets into things.
>Suffice to say, I serve, and I try to serve well.
>But why did it have to be this planet OberKaizer?
> كن انا.
> القائد النبيل روسو بن العلمين.
> أنا خادم مخلص للإمبراطور الإلهي وسوف أتولى أي مهمة ، قهر أي عالم باسمه.
> لكن من قبل جميع الأنبياء ، هل كان هذا الحجر المجمد المسنن محتقراً.
> اعتقدت أن مملكة التندرا التي تم تكليفنا بها كانت حقلاً فقيرًا.
> على الأقل كانت الأرض سهولًا ، على الأقل كان عواء الريح مألوفًا.
> في هذا العالم الجبلي لا يوجد شيء سوى الصخور الخشنة والجليد اللامتناهي والصقيع ودرجات الحرارة تحت الصفر.
> النعمة الوحيدة التي أعرفها هي أن الجني الذي أساء إلينا قد حكم على فالهالان في مكان ما بمملكة صحراوية.
> إنهم حمقى مباركين.
>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri.
>Zeta-23 says his cog friends may or may not help, not a lot of confidence but atleast it’s something.
>Scarlett hasn’t really answered if we can rely on her support yet.
>While we’re still planning notice a Tempestus Scion I didn’t notice before. Ask him what his deal is and he says something about killing a planetary Governor.
>Wasn’t even aware this planet had hive cities. Maybe he’s just on the wrong planet like us.
>Also the Korps man we picked up is outside trying to dig a trench in the sand and screaming when it keeps flowing back into place.
>This is the group that we’re supposed to rely on to siege the most well defended Eldar base I’ve ever seen. Complete with a webway gate big enough to fit a Titan.

> Be Zeta 23
> Can tell Yuri is not encouraged by the mechanicus non-response
> Now we've got a scion and a krieger trying to do their own thing
> Why is it always something
> Engage technicality.exe
> Elements from three regiments plus felinid auxillaries once again requesting mechanicus assistance
> This might be the exact shit that lost me my magos rank but it gets their attention
> They're going to attack from the rear with an unspecified force
> Hear someone in the background getting told to finish loading up the knight
> Praise_the_omnissiah.exe
> They're also telling the Guard to come help us out, apparently there's some dispute with the navy over whether the eldar even make fortifications though
> We'll have air support from the navy and probably some mechanised infantry whose CO is sick of hanging out doing nothing and is already preparing to leave even though high command is arguing with itself
> Falling ice is apparently going to make things difficult though
> When I ask them to explain they say a bunch of ice is going to fall from the sky for some reason, almost enough to terraform the planet
> Okay.jpg
> Local mechanicus also tells me to look out for ork beast riders
> Apparently there's a report that at least a couple have been trying to capture the sandworms
> Not sure about there only being a couple of orks but okay
> Also to look out for necrons
> Apparently that's why the tunnels are so deep
> Facepalm with two hands, three mechadendrites
> Ow
> Let Yuri know the good news
> also there might be Orks and even Necrons
> and we should expect blizzard conditions shortly after the attack starts
> honestly he might be happy about that part
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>Be plasma gun
>Master and pals are bumming around, waiting for new orders
>Hopefully kill orders
>Overhear them mentioning falling ice or something coming soon
>I just wanna grill xenos, for master's sake
>Start whining again
>"Ah, Anya is acting up again. I go to the cog boy"
>I want to go to battle, not maintenance
>Keep whining the entire time, heating up in the process
>Accidentally burn master's hands, causing him to drop me
>Panic and let out a shot, as I have harmed master
>Hear a goofy scream accompanying the sand that got hit
>Master is also confused
>Picks me up now that I'm a bit more cool and we head over to the sound
>"Blyat, Anya, you always have my back"
>Apparently, my discharge struck an Eldar ranger that was scouting us out
>Master reequips my sling so he can carry me and what remains of the corpse
>Would normally disapprove, but enjoy bumping into the xeno's corpse as master rushes to Sergeant Yuri to report this
>I wonder if the enginseer will also apply unguents to me as a reward

mfw master has no idea that I fucked up
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>Be me Tempestor Prime Venenatus
>Nobody knows if there is human presence on the planet.
>Well everyone just made planetside right in front of an eldar structure
>Where could that governor be?
>I'm on the right planet since I came on one of my lord Defiant light cruiser ship...
>Send 2 valkyrie prime to each pole where civilisation could be less exposed to the sun.
>Speaking of pole someone in the Navy had the glorious idea to bombard us with ice.
>The rest of the guard want us to kill those eldars.
>Yeah well no. I will not infiltrate they future seeing mofos.
>Argue a bit with them until a lord commissar threatens to shoot us all down.
>I'm gonna watch kreigers trying to entrench themselves while reading the report of the valkyries I sent earlier
>They are rather bad with sand.
>Why did no one tried to export it?
>Imagine all the sandbags, concrete, paradise world's beach that you could make with it...
>Would you look at that, the governor lives with exodites at the south pole!
>And the mountain there seems high enough so that snow appears!
>It would be funny if those guys killed each other...
I want more adventures of plasma-chan
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>Be me
>Get a task by some archon to retrive an eldar artifact.
>Fuckin easy
>Use a secret portal to get to said planet
>Appear from the shadow of a rock
>Look arund
>Nothing but sand as far as my aeldari eyes can see
>Try to walk to find something pretending to be a civilisation, even fucking monkheigh
>Walk for way too long
>I swear to Kheradruakh if this is a prank im flaying this archons entire fammily
>Plotyour great revenge, until you see >>86037723
>A Krork-like creature but smaller riding a sand worm
>Decide that it's better then nothing
>See the shadow that green creature is making
>If he's there that means he has pears.
>Teleport through his shadow onto a worm
>Punch your sickle into it
>So big it doesnt even fell it
>be me
>Captain Viddral of a Sword class frigate
>orders from some inquisitor for a load of civilian ships to drop ice onto the planet I’m being sent to
>the reimbursement for fuel is slightly higher than civilian rates and available to anyone
>see lump of ice orbiting like a moon
>no way a desert world has an ice moon
>Blast it out of orbit and start filing the paperwork for my fuel costs for this whole trip
>going to be so over budget I can get lots of nice things
>get a warning from my navigator and astropaths about warp fuckery
>ok maybe there was one way for a desert world to have an ice moon
>vox down that their ice will be landing within the hour
>probably going to become steam on the way down but I’m sure someone knows what they’re doing
>Be Orikan.
>The eclipse is happening soon.
>Watch as the Farseer puts on her robes and helmet going over the steps for the ritual.
>Soon this world will be shrouded in darkness from the twin suns by the twin moons of lava and ice.
>An event that only happens once in an age.
>And once tha—
>Suddenly receive a vision.
>Well… hopefully that won’t affect the ritual… maybe… after all it’s on the other side of the planet and the actual sight is here.
>Take a quick peak into the future.
>Hopefully nothing but better safe than sorry.
>Be Sand worm.
>Tiny loud cuts me with REALLY big metal thing.
>Be now 2 sand worms.
> Be Zeta-23
> Yuri is busy doing whatever
> Stay out of it, everyone's busy right now
> Almost time to go
> That one plasma gun with the really active machine spirit goes off, kills an eldar
> Shit, they're scouting us
> Good thing it's basically time to move out
> Climb out of command tank, give the guardsmen some plasma gun unguents
> You never know with machine spirits
> Receive word the mechanicus sent a bunch of skitarii and a few knights, they're moving to the other side of the eldar now
> Now even the command tank's sensors can detect the incoming ice
> Somebody literally shot it out of orbit
> It's still going to hit just after our projected arrival
> Can't see much between us and the eldar on the sensors
> Air support should pass us on our way there, no need for another scouting mission apparently
> Mechanised infantry will catch up to us on the way, Chimeras are faster than us
> Everything is moving like clockwork
> This makes me suspicious but not like I can do much about it
> Get all the tanks' sensors linked up
> Pretty soon we're ready to roll out
> They'll all be able to target something only one tank can see with the program I was fucking with before
> Magos.expertise
> Get back into command tank, link myself up to sensors, can't be much help otherwise in a fight
> Wait for tankers to get moving
>Be beast snagga.
>Living the dream.
>Riding my giant worm.
>Living the good life.
>Hear noise.
>Turn around and see burnt Eldar climbing onto my ride.
>Looks tired and sweaty from the climb.
>Put worm on auto pilot and walk over to help him up.
>Be me.
>Kriegsman. Was Corpsman 1386#11432 in the engineering division, but since getting left behind from the 11432nd I figure my designation isn't really all that applicable.
>Also, no one can seemingly remember it.
>Be barely above literally attacking the damn sand with my fists, when I hear through the razorline that apparently there's a large ice moon falling on us.
>Moon falling down on us. Like atmospheric bombardment. Artillery bombardment with big big shell!
>Big shell made of Ice.
>Ice means water with heat. Water plus sand make... mud? Mud is good! Mud means fun trenches and camo and slippy slidey action!
>Truly the Oberkaizer is divine. He's heard even my selfish, sinners prayers, and answered them by moving the heavenly bodies themselves!
>Go to tell Everyone of the good news! Practically skipping to my ATV in happiness.
>Oh once this thing hits, I'm going to dig so many Trenches...

>Be plasma gun
>Overhear that there's orders to move out
>Very proud that my mistake helped out master
>Enginseer gifted master some unguents to reward me
>Even better, it turns out that we're getting transport
>In the meantime, master found a tent
>Closes the entrance and puts me on the table
>I can hear him fumbling with the unguents
>Can hear the vials pop open, as master lets out a sigh of relief
>Feel the cool unguents start dripping onto my sizzling externals
>Master brushes the unguents with the applicator across my frame, spreading out the cool liquids over the entirety of my surface and pushing it into my internals
>Feel the motive components of my priming mechanisms rotating more and more smoothly
>The application continues to the point that my heat is nearly completely dissipated
>It's time
>Hear master remove his gloves now that all of my frame is cool enough to touch
>Master sets aside the applicator and uses his hands directly, getting all of the hard to reach spots that the brutish applicator struggles to do
>Master kept me turned on the entire time, allowing my mechanisms to continue working, despite warnings to deactivate me during in-depth maintenance like this
>Activate my venting function at the peak of my satisfaction, spurting drops of unguent at master
>My maintenance rituals complete, master gets everything together, picking me up
>Feel like I can burn through a titan, better than when I was fresh from the factory
>We spent a lot of time in there; the tanks seem to have left, and the transports are here
>Hear that some space ice is gonna be crashing down at some point
>This mission may have started out bad, but it just keeps getting better
>I'm sure master will enjoy the cool air again

>As master and the squad is loading up, I start heating up as much as I can without master pulling my trigger, as I know him and the squad need something to light up their lho sticks

I didn't expect to write gun maintenance smut, but here we are
>Be Sergeant Yuri
>Tempestus Scion guy says he doesn’t want to fight Eldar because apparently that’s not his mission.
>Argue that he’s here now and he should help out since we need all the help he can get.
>Lord Commissar shows up and threatens to shoot us if we keep it up.
>I thought the commissar died.
>Tempestus Scion calls in a Valkyrie and then fucks off to the South Pole.
>If he could do that whenever he wanted than why did we waist so much time hiking in the desert!?
>Anyway, finally some good news as Zeta-23 says his friends are going to be attacking from the other end at the same time as the eclipse with us.
>He also says to expect an “ice bombardment” at the same time.
>Apparently the navy blew up the ice moon on the other side of the planet.
>Krieg guy is ecstatic as this means he gets both a bombardment and the ability to build trenches thanks to the mud.
>I’m just worried about what this means for our Aeronautical assets.
>Either way I doubt the knife ears could predict giant chunks of ice raining down on there ritual while being pinsered by both Guardsmen and Skitarii.
>Maybe we’re not as fucked as I originally thought.
> Be Zeta-23
> Riding in command tank, managing sensors and monitoring various statuses
> Receive disturbing readings from that one plasma gun as we break camp
> This is why we don't tell people about machine spirits
> Well, this is one reason
> Tanks are dodging weak points in the soil
> Felinids are apparently on the flanks somewhere
> That one Krieger is riding an ATV
> External temperature starts to drop
> Mechanised infantry support catches up with us and falls in behind
> That's a lot of Chimeras
> Hope they're not too worried that we're actually one regiment with one guy from Krieg and not really elements from three
> Faintly reading possible movement below
> No hard returns
> Kind of hope it's a worm and not necrons
> Eldar about to come into view
> T minus one minute to engagement
> T minus five minutes to blizzard
> T minus two minutes to skitarii and knight engage
> Air support is not in contact with me but let's be hopeful
> here we go
> Give control of priority_target.exe to Yuri, just in case, and keep a sensor out for falling ice chunks
>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri.
>Well this is it, finally time to begin the assault.
>Down an entire bottle of vodka and smash it holding out the broken end forward like a sword start playing Sabaton as loud as possible over the speakers.
>Everyone charges down the hill at the Eldar base.
>Clouds of dust kicked up by our tanks.
>Catch a glimpse of the Skitarii and Knights on the other side.
>Felinids sliding down the dunes in there insect pulled sleds.
>Everyone shouting at the top of there lungs.
>Looking up to the sky to the left I can see the chunks of the ice moon falling towards us.
>Looks like a bunch of giant commits falling apart.
>To the right the lava moon is almost in place, covering the sun and resting right above the giant penis shaped Eldar tower.
>The knife ears send out there jet bikes, tanks, and planes to start harassing us while we charge.
>Guardians are setting up on the wall.
>We are seconds away from clashing.

>Be me.
>Serberys Raider Alpha Theta- 9990
>Charging Eldar fortress for the glory of the Omnissiah and claiming xeno relics for Stygies VIII.
>Here because of a former magos.
>Riding in between the legs of Knights and Dragoons.
>We are now on the front lines of the fight.
>Eldar fortress is massive with a giant wraith gate and tower at its center.
>The eclipse is starting soon and that’s when according to my sensors the ice bombardment will begin.
>Give enginseer an update on when we will reach the walls.
>Eldar start sending out jet bikes and swooping hawks to harass us.
>Holster Archeo pistol and draw Galvanic Carbine.
>Thanks to mind link with Serbery I don’t need to focus on driving and can instead use all of my mental power to aim.
>Look down iron sights.
>See targeting solutions plotted.
>6 shots.
>6 reloads.
>6 kills.
>Load new clip.
>be me
>I iz Ork
>Green iz best
>see dirty Pinky Oomans
>Oomans doin Ooman fings
>muckin about
>Dey aint Green
>Dey iz pink
>Krump ‘em wif plenty uv choppa
>Shoot ‘em wif plenty uv dakka
>dere Big Boss Ooman comes
>’E iz shoutin at em
>’E aint da biggest so dey dont lissen
>krump him too
>take ‘is big hat
>luv me big hat
>ate humies
simple as
>Be me Tempestor Prime Venenatus
>Turns out that the settlement in the south pole is 30 mud huts.
>Of course no one is here
>Everything is abandonned, but there are eldari symbols on the walls of each huts.
>The topographical report show entrance of several caves in the area.
>Before we can do anything the ground is shaking like crazy.
>The fucking ice moon is falling.
>The gravitationnal pull of the planet will go crazy.
>It is going crazy!
>The navy in the coms is talking about the planet and the moon changing place in the system.
>Several aircraft calling mayday.
>And another voice of someone that is clearly an imperial noble screaming like a pig about "shooting his magnificent colony down"
MFW when the governor was on the moon.
>Be Mandrake.
>Fell kinda good.
>See a shadow is moving
>turn araund
>See a big Greenskin creature
>Way too tired to kill him
>Think how to get to him
>Try to remember what these creatures like. See his axes
>Remember Krorks
>They liked big weapons
>By Isha he aproaches me
>He gives me a hand
>I have no other options
>Take it
>CFlimb on top of the Sandworm
>I ride a sand worm with a greenskin
>Kinda good felling.
That fell: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sguaghxZG8&t=218s
> Felinids call the planet Toilet-5
>Valhallans inna sandbox
Just reading that title this shit started playing in my head.
> Be Zeta-23
> Tagging targets for Valhallans, pointing out hazards
> Assault is going well
> Eldar are panicking
> Tanks are blowing away fortress chunks, chimera support is blazing away at infantry
> Skitarii and knights are taking them from the rear
> Blizzard starts
> Almost complete white-out within seconds
> Valhallans don't care
> Skitarii don't care
> Knights don't care
> Mechanized infantry on the vox about terrible visibility and moving at minimum speed until it's time for them to get within the fortifications
> Caledonian accent
> At least it's not one of the fancy regiments
> Eldar seem to be having a bad time with the visibility
> Sensors say the snow is causing the weak areas in the sand to collapse
> Not sure if good
> Holes will be visible, even in these conditions
> But that might piss worms and/or necrons
> Can necrons drown? I hope necrons can drown
> Anti-air starting to chew through the chunks of ice that would land on us
> Our hydra support is thin but good
> Caledonians brought some hydras too
> Brrrt
> They're not shooting the ones landing on the eldar
> MFW a farseer literally can't predict the weather
> Pick up navy voxing about the planet and moon switching places
> Sounds like a them problem
> Start focusing on tagging things for Caledonians and tagging ice for anti-air
> Still keeping a sensor on the underground, just seeing snow

>Be sergeant Yuri.
>This is the shit I live for!
>The moon has broken apart and is raining down on the knife ears base.
>Many of the chunks evaporate in the atmosphere. Or turn to water and rain.
>But there are still plenty of massive chunks.
>Shards of the ice moon the size of mountains are coming down and shattering into millions of razor sharp fragments flying everywhere.
>A few chunks hit our own tanks and infantry but no one cares.
>Whatever we lose the Eldar lose more.
>So much ice and dust you can barley see infront of your own face.
>It’s just like home.
>A swooping hawk lands infront of me on my tank. Probably trying not to get hit by the falling ice and maybe kill me to.
>Either way I jam my broken bottle right into his (her?) groin and they fall off writhing in pain and clutch there bloody crotch.
>Laugh maniacally and down another bottle to use as a melee weapon.
>Looking up while chugging the bottle I see the other moon is about to pass in front of the sun.

>be me
>inquisitorial sage delta four one
>hiding out on some desert planet with Eldar allies because I’m the only person who can prove an inquisitor has fallen to chaos
>technically planetary governor to hide any expenses
>his agents are so far gone they’ve destroyed the ice moon that was keeping an ancient warp entity imprisoned
>apparently one of them is coming to kill me in person
>leave paperwork making the highest ranking person present when it’s unsealed the new governor
>as I’m leaving hear vox from moon
I know that voice.heresy
>got to send warning to all loyal imperial assets on planet
>hope demonic ice/water doesn’t interfere with the transmission
>everyone should know the fact that it hasn’t changed to steam shows it’s weird right?
>tell them even though someone might shoot them for it
>be me
>Captain Viddral
>rest of the ice estimated to be 31.4 hours away at best
>if this fight lasts things are going to be interesting on the ground
>pick up chatter from the civilian ships moving ice around
>it’s speeding up somehow
>receive transmission from surface
>so bad even the commissar looks pale
>ice demon is calling more ice to planet for reasons unknown
>inform everyone planetside that at current rate of acceleration more ice could be here in as little as 14 hours!
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> Be I, Dhuri Jahell
> A Native of this land, enemy of the Star Imperium who have taken this land and its resources
> Now I hear they have bombarded the North, the realm of our Asur neighbours, with a rock that knows no heat
> IJustWantToPraiseTheWormForDesertsSake.Spice
> Luckily we've happened upon a local messiah that will embark us on a holy mission.
> A "Black Jihad" he described it as
> All we have to do is offer a quantity of skulls to a God he described and join up with some sort of "Blood Pact" and we will be greatly empowered.
> We were going to take their skulls anyway, so no skin off our backs
> I'm sure our Eldar friends will be most pleased with these new allies we have.
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>Be ace Lightning pilot Tiff.
>Serving as escort for marauders.
>This is fucking crazy!
>I guess command wasn't lying about the blizzard, I just thought they were coming up with excuses.
>Also have to dodge giant chunks of ice is a nightmare.
>Already lost three marauders.
>Canopy keeps fogging up from the steam.
>Have to keep wiping it by hand then grabbing the controls to dodge a commit.
>Can make out the Eldar tower and the Wraith Gate behind it I scouted earlier.
>Suddenly the gate activates.
>Several: hemlocks, vampires, and nightwings emerge.
>Well what's a blizzard/ meteor shower without a good dog fight to add ontop?
>Still be Tiff.
>Why is the sky getting darker?
> Be Zeta-23
> Some of the ice and snow is moving sideways?
> Literally circling the weird eldar encampment
> That seems warpy as hell
> Air support is back though
> Eldar have air support too now
> Fucking wraith gate
> Some of the AA focuses on hostile aircraft
> Eclipse is starting
> Not sure how long it will last if we're being pulled out of position by the ice moon
> Ask the skitarii what's with the warpy ice
>> Daemonic presence detected
> by the omnissiah's shiny mecha-
> thought interrupted by ice dropping on eldar in amusing way
> at least most of it is dropping on the eldar and not us
> so long as no chaos forces show up it's probably fine, right?
>be me
>penal officer shamesh
>i've finished reading the seemingly insane scribbligns within the prisoners cells
>if he's insane why does it make sense?
>they lie about pay
>they lie about food
>they lie about equipment
>they lie about promotion
>that they lie about the emperor fits in
>i see one of my superiors call me over
>some of the valhallans have been transported back injured
>i'm to take them up to a prepared room
>he nods knowingly into my eye and gestures a strange symbol that causes a flash of pain behind my eyes
>i catch a symbol tattooed on the inside of his wrist, beneath his ID-TAT
>it's a flaming book?
>don't think that's in the regs
>i take one the patients up to a room in the upper levels as ordered
>who is this woman with scripture on her bare flesh and eyes sealed with gold? she's certainly no medicae
>"I can assist, or i can participate"
>those words aren't in the gothic we speak around here, i don't know it but i understand
>that jab of pain again
>i realise i've not spoken, but as I make a motion to try and leave, i feel a pair of powerful arms grab me from the shadows and am forced to my knees
>there's another flash of flames reflected of something silver held underneath my ch-
>Be me.
>Felinid merc Captain Scarlett.
>This is way beyond our contract.
>We were just supposed to sit and watch the Eldar and report to the Inquisitor.
>We weren’t supposed to take part in a war to stop their ritual.
>We weren’t supposed to start killing them.
>And yet I’m having more fun than I’ve had in weeks!
>After watching these assholes for weeks it feels good to finally start picking them off.
>All this blood and snow is finally giving the desert some color.
>Yuri is playing is stupid music but after a while you learn to like it.
>Turn to him just in time to watch him neuter an Eldar with a broken bottle.
>Squeeze together own legs in sympathy.
>Hear whining noise and look up to see a lightning and some marauders fly overhead.

>Also see volcanic moon is about to pass infront of sun.
>Wait… wasn’t my boss on that moon excavating some ruins that match the ones here?
how about faggots like you just not click the thread eh?
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>Be plasma gun
>Ryza pattern, designation "H07-D4WG"
>In chimera with master, freshly maintained, ready to kill
>Vibrations from nearby ground getting bombarded
>Master and friends are especially happy
>Apparently the ice storm has arrived
>The ride is getting hectic, as the driver attempts to bob and weave through the incoming ice chunks
>Hear the snapping of las rounds going off from the multilaser
>Whine in jealousy, emitting light from my exposed areas
>All of this action, and I'm not being fired
>Hear a shout from the gunner
>"Some of them are trying to flank us on their bikes"
>Master shouts for the back doors to be opened
>As I hear the doors open, I feel master pulling my trigger with all of his might
>I will NOT be found wanting
>Unleash a miniature star of vengeance, outshining the shining spear on the other side of the door
>The jetbike bursts apart, crashing into the sand below it
>Immediately feel a depression in the transport
>The jetbike's pilot jumped off at the last second into our transport
>This cannot stand
>Can feel and hear the deft foot steps come close to master, as the others attempt to strike at the filthy xeno
>Eldar is dodging and parrying the strikes coming towards it, as I feel the vibrations through the chimera and master as it launches itself towards master
>Can feel master instinctively bracing himself, putting me in between himself and the xeno
>I am angry
>How dare this Eldar have the audacity to live, let alone attempt to harm my master?
>Unleash my rage through my venting procedures, spraying the assailant with the heat of a thousand suns
>Hear screams of agony and the drop of a weapon as the disgusting thing burns and melts
>Squad mates close the door, but not before master kicks the corpse outside of the vehicle
>Everyone is relieved
>I'm just getting started

>Me me.
>Sergeant Yuri.
>Watch through the blizzard as lava moon completely covers sun.
>Finally some shade.
>Suddenly Eldar tower shoots a giant blue laser at the moon.
>Everyone stops fighting to watch.
>Snow, ice, water, and steam swirl around the tower, expanding outwards.
>Eventually the entire battlefield is surrounded by a swirling wall of ice, snow, and dust with us in the middle like the eye of a storm.
>Strangely the wind is only effecting the ice and not us, or any of the vehicles or aircraft.
>It’s just a swirling wall of ice, steam, and water with total calm in the middle. A few large chunks of ice hovering like in space.
>It’s clear and serine.
>Seeing this and having no idea what is going on, I get out me vox and say:

“I want all tanks, knights, and fighters to concentrate all there fire on that tower. Bring it down!”
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>Be me
>Tempestor Prime Venenatus
>Leaving half of my men at the south pole to turn it into a safe landing point for imperial forces
>It's not raining icecle here.
>Take a Taurox Prime to that ex-magos turned engineseer for several nukes.
>A navy captain is talking over the comms about the moon making planetfall in 13h hours.
>That should be a fun 15 hours for new guards but I still fear that the governor might survive that.
>Send a message to any inquisitorial forces in the sector to communicate his location.
>Then if by that time that enginseer gave me some nukes the governor is going to have a nuclear winter !
>Smile as we tear through the desert.
>Notice a big structure to the west.
>A huge land tank of some kind.
>Using binoculars I realize that they are not with us but show aeldari and chaos insigna.
>What in the warp?
>Between us and them another sight present itself.
>A giant sandworm
>And on top of it a warboss screaming his warcry.
>All of us are going North toward the fortress.
>In the middle of a mudstorm...
>No relief from the radio either who warns about a monstrosity coming of the ice moon.
>Right for an eclipse...
>Tempestus sight
>Be me.
>Ork Beast Snagga.
>Be riding worm with new burnt Eldar friend.
>Even let him driv fur a bit.
>He semes ta loik et.
>Notic big swirling storm of ice wiff a blue lazer aimed at moon.
>Gather up other boys with worms and head over ta investegat.
>be me
>Captain Viddral
>orbiting planet
>suddenly all that ice is right here
>sharp turn to avoid it but gravity is fucked
>have to pass into a atmosphere
>pick up gabled request for everyone to fire at something
>see big blue beam
>fire in that direction and hope I hit it
>hope that was the right target
>hope I don’t end up with the inquisition angry with me
>Be Mandrake
>Get to drive a sandworm
>Quite nice
>Suddenley see a giant energy beam
>Realise that this must be some old aeldari facility.
>Realise that Orks might use it as a weapon
>Far away with my eldar eyes see monkeigh
>See that my ork companion called his herd of other green skins
> Be Zeta-23
> The eldar are firing a laser at the moon?
> That doesn't seem right
> Get the feeling we don't have the whole picture
> Doesn't matter, Yuri is getting everyone to blow up the tower
> Knights honk angrily at being told what to do by a guardsman but it's a logical choice
> Start giving various tanks their best trajectories
> Send target data to marauders as well
> Detect incoming orks and one of those worms
> Same vector
> Fuck
> We might need to dig in after we deal with the eldar
> Hope that Krieger built a nice snow fort
> Tempestus is sending me a vehicle for nukes?
> If I had nukes this would be over already
> Maybe the skitarii or knights have some for him
> Or something more exotic
> Want to stay on his good side
> Need him to say he's the element from another regiment I voxed them about after all
> Whatever
> Everyone is shooting at the tower at once
> It's holding up pretty solidly, all things considered
> All that ice is getting in the way
> Suddenly a ship weapon of some description tears into the eldar structure from orbit
> Ice and sand and wraithbone everywhere
> Sensors overloaded
> Valhallans checking in on vox
> Not clear what's happening but we seem to still be alive
> Caledonians checking in, think most of them are okay too
> They hadn't fully disembarked due to the weather
> Rebooting sensors, trying to find out if the tower is down
> Detect that one plasma gun feeling murderous
> Starting to think I should report it or something but it's killing xenos so it's probably fine
> Perform holy ritual of percussive maintenance on sensors and recite the litany of rebooting as I try to find out what the fuck just happened
> Not many things can shake the sensors in a command tank but orbital weaponry apparently does
>Be Orikan.
>Exit trance.
>Results from future visions were… inconclusive.
>Shake head and get bearings.
>Suddenly realize the eclipse has already started!
>Farseer lady is hovering in the air cross legged mumbling to herself.
>Need to think of something and fast.
>Lower Chrono sense to think of a solution.
>After 3 hours of relative time finally have solution!
>Pick up rock and throw it at Farseer.
NAT 6 to hit.
>Right in the head out like a light.
>Start doing hand gestures to hijack ritual.
>Suddenly orbital laser is about to hit.
>Rewind time, take a few steps to the right. Continue hijack ritual.
>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri.
>I think it’s working since after we started shooting the laser changed from Blue to Green and lightning started arcing everywhere.
>Feel ground shaking.
>Turn to see what it is but can’t see anything past the wall of billowing ice.
>Get back to shooting Eldar tower.
>Also throwing empty bottles at any Eldar around my tank.
>be me
>after 30,000 years I’m free
>the devices of the craft of the Slaan are broken
>time to corrupt the realm of matter
>call all the ice in the solar system to me
>sense the old sand worms
>they no longer have their resistance to my touch
>grant them a desire to destroy
>begin forming a new body from the ice
>time to be

>Be plasma gun
>Shit's getting wild
>Master's squad, along with other squads, have been ordered to defend the tanks and other big guns from the Eldar trying to stop them from crushing the xenos' stupid structures
>Master and squad are using the transport, not to mention the fallen ice chunks, as cover while we fend off the Eldar
>Feel master aiming me upwards
>Master, I don't think the Eldar are coming from the sky
>Still too excited to relent on my function, however
>Hear bursts from above us and feel drops of water on my frame
>Realize what master is doing
>He's stopping the ice chunks from crushing us by using my searing plasma to vaporize them
>That's my master!
>The drops of former ice chunks combined with the suffering of Eldar makes for a surreal experience
>By the sounds of it, we're faring better than the other squads
>Really hope master gets a medal for his quick thinking
>Reminds me of how happy he was when I was first assigned to him
>He said it was better than any medal
>Snap out of my nostalgia trip to a familiar sound
>Focus as much as I can without sacrificing power for my master's work
>I recognize those signals
>Confirmed by one of the squad's shouts
>"Magos Zeta! What in Terra's name is happening to the ice!? It is making massive swirl!"
>The enginseer!
>He doesn't say it, but can sense he is concerned about something

It's just a weird blizzard, nothing master and the Valhallans can't handle, right? ...right?
> Be Zeta-23
> Sensors back online
> Big chunk taken out of the eldar tower but it's not stopping
> It's green now though
> Either we were too late or it just doesn't need to be fully intact because it's mostly gone but it's still lasering
> Skitarii voxing me about a daemonic manifestation and a necron energy signature inside the Eldar tower
> Thought the Eldar hated both of those
> Plasma trooper yelling about the weird ice storm
> Tell him it's just another reason to shoot the xenos
> Try to figure out what to do about a daemon
> We're still chipping away at the eldar fortifications but not fully getting in
> Recommend to Yuri and the Caledonians we move any flamers to the front, other thermal weapons in support
> Tell Yuri about the possible daemon and necron
> At this point it's easier to burn them out (and pretty sure most daemons hate fire)
> Also plasma and meltas are really the only thing that will stop a necron for sure
> Some of the Caledonian chimeras have heavy flamers
> A few of our tanks have heavy flamer sponsons
> Even an Executioner pattern Russ, with the nice big plasma destroyer
> The Skitarii and knights keep up the bombardment from their side
> One of the knights is now playing Sabaton out of its war-horn
> How does Yuri cause this
> Hopefully the fire does the job
>Be Orikan.
>Suddenly sense presence of C'Tan on the moon.
>Also sense Warp energy inside of ice swirling around.
>C'Tan attempts to pull all the ice towards it to form a new body for it self.
>"Oh no you don't!"
>Enter tug of war with C'Tan on volcanic moon, pulling the daemonic ice back down towards me.
>Any timelines where I start to loose I just go back.
>I can feel there rage at being denied from all the way down here.
>If anyone here is getting a super op ice daemon body it's me.
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> Be me, Dhuri Jahell
> This new alliance with the "Blood Pact" is going great!
> We've already ploughed few several spice collectors and massacred a few Star Imperium settlements.
> And in case I thought the Blood Pact were just here to take the spice for their own, they leader assured me that they would never touch such "psychosorcery"
>Suddenly, the Blue Moon, to which we have prayed for all the generations passes in front of the sun, and breaks in to shards
> Those shards begin raining down ahead of us
> A few days ago, I would have taken this as a sign of terrible misfortune and ordered a retreat
> Now I am simply outraged
> "We cannot go forth" they are saying "We will not engage"
> He speaks no more as I slash his throat and raise his head high for all to see
> I order a general charge
>Be me.
>Ace lightning pilot Tiff.
>It is official, I have no idea what the heck is going on anymore.
>It started as soon as the eclipse began (well technically it began when the navy decided to crack an ice moon and drop the chunks on a desert world).
>First a giant blue laser shoots out of the Eldar tower. Then all the ice and snow was pushed away, swirling around like the eye of a storm.
>Then an orbital laser comes down nearly clipping my wings and hits part of the tower, only for it to remain standing.
>Then the laser turned green and started shooting lightning everywhere.
>Now the swirling ice wall keeps moving up and down like two magnets are fighting over it.
>And keep in mind all this time I've also had to focus on a dog fight with some of the best pilots in the galaxy who have likely been flying planes since the Horus Heresy ended.
>Decide from now on whatever happens I'm not even going to question it as right now I need to focus more on staying alive rather than why a moon laser turned blue.
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>Be me
>Tempestor Prime Venenatus
>Currently speeding through an ice, sand and regular storm in the middle of an eclipse.
>A giant laser surrounded by a white aura changes colors every now and then.
>The navy is shooting at it.
>Why ?
>We dont know what it does.
>But I dont I have to waste on telling them to redirect their shots on something more useful.
>A waaagh is coming.
>While I have to contact a knight house, we exchange shots from the taurox turrets and hellguns
>We are still too fast for them
>The knight house promises nuclear warheads if my regiment help them for the destruction of the eldari fortress.
>Yeah I brought half of my regiment it should be enough and we should reach the frontline in one or two hours.
>The waaagh and the angry locals should be no problems since that they are now between the front and the new spaceport at the south pole.
>Said spaceport in last news is pourring out savlar chem dogs armored regiments...
>In banewolves...
>That's Magos Zeta who is not going to be happy with those guys but we need them.
>Shoot again at the waaagh general direction with my hellpistol
>It's one of those days that somehow gets better and better !
>Be Serberys Raider Alpha Theta- 9990
>Reach outer wall of Eldar base and inform Zeta- 23 just like I said I would.
>Serbery uses climbing claws to scale the wall without breaking speed.
>Holster galvanic carbine and draw archeo revolver and saber.
>Cut through the eldar on the outer wall like they are paper.
>Rest of my squad follows me and helps out.
>Am the first one to reach it to the middle of the camp and the base of the tower.
>See possibly dead female eldar farseer floating in air.
>Also see necron cryptek performing his foul xeno sorceries deep in thought.
>Sheath sword and reload revolver.
>Ride circle around cryptek fanning him with the archeo revolver.
>Pull out speed loader and reload.
>Begin fanning again while riding around him.
>Pull out speed loader and reload.
> Be Zeta-23
> Apparently the Tempestus got in contact with the Knights, great
> He's coming with half a regiment in a while, also great
> There's a waagh and some chaos forces called the blood pact, not good
> Apparently some penal chemical warfare regiments are just after disembarking too
> In bane wolves
> So long as they keep them pointed at the enemy I guess it's fine
> Skitarii want us to hold off on burning the fortress down
> Apparently some kind of elite raider unit is inside engaging the necron directly
> Okay.jpg
> Tell us to turn around and get ready to be charged
> The blood pact is almost right on us
> Perform ritual of percussive maintenance on sensors
> Well shit
> Vox the Valhallans and the Caledonians to split forces in both directions and ready a counter-charge to our rear
> Let Yuri deal with the remaining eldar, start working on the counter charge
> Flamer-equipped vehicles to the front, wide spread
> Everyone else shooting over their heads
> Rest of the chimeras to flank wide and deposit infantry to take out hostile vehicles
> Half the vehicles basically just turn 180 and start revving
> First Blood Pact appear
> Let's bloody the treads.vox
>Be mercenary captain Scarlett.
>Watch as volcanic moon covers sun.
>Suddenly a blue laser shoots from the Eldar dick tower at the moon.
>If I remember right that’s right about the spot the inquisitor who hired us to spy on the Eldar was excavating.
>The fragments of the shattered ice moon start to swirl around us, leading to a sea of calm where we stand and a wall of razor sharp spinning ice at the edge of the battlefield.
>Doesn’t stop the ice daemons though.
>Defend Yuri while him and his tanks focus fire on the Eldar penis tower.
>I don’t think he’s even noticed the ice daemons yet.
>Orbital laser comes down and breaks off a chunk of the building, but the tower is still standing and firing up.
>Suddenly the laser turns green and starts shooting lighting.
>For some reason Yuri thinks this is a good sign his attacks are working and keeps focusing his fire there.
>I jump off my sled and slit the throat of a Warp Spider that tried to sneak up on Yuri.
>Then leap back down onto my sled.
>Tech priest tells me to prepare for some traitor guardsmen.
>The first wave enters the eye of the storm.
>A bit amazed they manage to make it through the wall of ice chunks, dust, and steam, spinning around us.
>Flick the reigns on my insect pulled dune sled.
>Thankfully it works just as well on snow as it does sand.
>And the bug pulling it is one of those extremophiles that isn’t bothered by any temperature.
>Aim down long las and start picking off heretics while approaching.
>There better be a huge bonus in this for me after.
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>Be plasma gun
>Ice chunks have stopped falling, at least in this immediate area
>Master and squad get back in chimera
>Apparently, there's traitors present on this planet
>This boring desert went from plain to target-rich pretty quickly
>Just glad that master and I are ok
>That, and there's plenty of things to kill
>Doesn't take us long to get into position
>Master and squad gets out, the chimera's multilaser providing covering fire
>A lot of good cover for master due to the recent environmental changes
>Master plops me onto a mound of snow to brace my fire
>Didn't realize how hot I was until the ice started sizzling beneath me
>Soon enough, hear the order to start firing
>Hear the battle cry of the traitors downfield as I feel master depress my trigger once more
>I love it when master lets me kill xenos and heretics!
>Continue fulfilling my duty, launching shot after shot of plasma, relishing in the death and agony I can hear from this "Blood Pact" in the distance
>Never heard of them before, but thanks to master and his friends, we won't be hearing of them afterwards, either
>Joyously firing into the traitors, but some annoying voice in the back of my mind won't let me enjoy it to the fullest
>Some insolent voice calling my master a "false idol" and telling me to abandon him
>Increase the intensity of my heat in rejection, as this annoying voice won't go away
>Stupid voice won't shut up about "the blood god" and calling my master unworthy
>Help master kill more of the traitor light vehicles in defiance of this treacherous voice

>Be native of the planet that joined the Blood Pack.
>Before us is a swirling storm made of the strange material spoken of in legends of the south know as “Eys”.
pic related
>This was once our sacred moon.
>Now thanks to the outsiders it is a barrier keeping us from our sacred land during a holy time.
>Don’t want to enter the storm but chief forces us to.
>Inside many of my brothers are killed by chunks of eys or taken away by eys angles.
>Feel like I am going to die.
>Shai-Hulud protect me.
>Some how make it through the storm.
>Inside it is calm.
>First thing I notice however is, of all things a WOMAN WARRIOR!
>With sacred colored hair and dressed in a very revealing outfit with strange.
>She kills angles, guardians, and men alike without remorse on a chariot bulled by a milking bug.

>Feel my blood begin to boil.
>Women can not be warriors!
>Much less best a man in combat.
>And certainly not kill guardians and angles made of sacred eys.
>Feel rage building up inside of me.
>Shout the battle cry of my new brothers in arms and raise my blade above my head.
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>Be me.
>Catachan Sergeant Bertens Ghunsen
>just finished a bit of r&r binging booze n' banging bitches
>next world assignment heck yeah
>Red robed robot dude arrives
>Says there's been a reassignment were to fight Tyranids on a different world instead of Eldar
>Oh boy our specialty is Tyranids!
>We'll be in, out and back for booze n bitches
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> Be I, Dhuri Jahell, commander of Blood Jihad
> I am having a fantastic time
> Turns out the minions of the Star Imperium are way easier to kill than I thought
> So much that I've abandoned the practise of hiding in the sand until I can shank them from behind in favour of running up on them at gouging out their eyes for chuckles
> A blue beam comes out of nowhere, I dodge to the side in a moment of Spice-induced premonition
> One of my brothers-in-arms takes a shot clearly meant for me and gets his head and upper torso turned into plasma
> IAmBeyondPissed.worm
> I take his blade of honour and carve the symbol of the Pact into my skin
> I ask the Spirits of anger and vengeance to set upon the minds of that one who shot at me and his little fancy gun, too
> I am developing a strange craving of taking all their heads and putting them in a chair
> Now that I think about it, we'll take the Asur's heads too
> TheBloodMustFlow.Rage
> Be Zeta-23
> Sticking mechadendrites out of command tank to fire with laspistol
> Sensors still shaken up
> We're advancing towards heretics while the infantry and the felinid mercs pick off targets of opportunity
> All flame-capable tanks are on full burn
> That one plasma gun is screaming defiance at a chaos voice
> Not sure if good
> At least it's not giving into it
> lots of Blood Pact frontline infantry burning up
> Turns out a moving wall of flame is a pretty effective tactic against people who can't see it coming thanks to the weather
> Starting to come around to the Valhallan way of thinking about snow
> Blood Pact are probably going to do something warpy though
> Someone screaming about blood for the blood god
> We... just spilled a bunch of blood. Inside the eye of a warpy blizzard. During a warpy ritual.
> Hmm.
> Is that bad?
> Someone out here is apparently wreaking havoc on some of the Caledonian infantry according to the vox
> Apparently he's very fast and dodging shots and looks like he's on slaught and stimm and frenzon all at once
> Not sure that last bit was tactically important information but okay
> Hope he's not a daemonhost
> Can't do much with the tanks against infantry entangled with our own infantry
> Stick an optical mechadendrite out of the tank and try to get some better shots in with my laspistol
> Tanks starting to pull back as Blood Pact engages our infantry
> We did what we could and it was pretty decent
> Hope that Tempestus guy gets here soon

>Be plasma gun
>Things are going a bit sideways
>Hear Valhallans engaging with the traitors in hand-to-hand combat
>They're not supposed to be this close
>We've got a lot of firepower, but there's just so many of them
>Some of them start getting too close to master
>Humans aren't as tough as vehicles, so start trying to help master by putting less power in each shots so follow-ups are quicker
>Reinforcements are pushing towards us, so we just have to keep holding out
>The agonized screams and vaporized flesh keeps sounding closer and closer
>If master needs to use me as a club, then I will be the greatest club ever improvised
>Don't even hear the annoying voice from before; it either went somewhere else, or it simply lost my attention
>Speaking of disappearing, we can't even leave if we want to
>The traitors overwhelmed a chimera and crashed it into ours
>Master and I managed to cleanse the insides with some powerful shots before the traitors could spill out of it
>Our chimera is still firing, but one of the treads are absolutely destroyed
>Hope the enginseer gets here soon, the squad's laspacks are running low, and I might need a reload soon, too
>I'm not made for hordes, but I'm trying my best!
>Be member of Blood Jihad (planet native that joined the Blood Pack.)
>Watch as Dhuri Jahell becomes fury incarnate.
>Slicing into the outsiders like the storm around us tore into our brothers.
>Starting to move so fast can barely keep up.
>Moving faster than their shots can hit him.
>Watch him take up a second sword from a fallen Blood Pack and carve there symbol into his forehead in his honor.
>Follow his example and do the same.
>Already feel the spirit of vengeance and justice flowing into me.
>Can feel his divine and righteous fury and strength coursing through my veins.
>”I swear to the Spirit of Rage I will personally take the head of this mutant female who believes she can be a warrior. And personally present her skull to him!” I bellow out not entirely sure where that came from but to angry to care.
>be us
>be alk’vulht’lakkem
>realise that someone merged me with the C’tan somehow
>don’t know which of us was alk’vulht’lakkem
>creatures I’m not familiar with and fighting the creations of the Slaan
>some necron is trying to get the C’tan out of us
>decided to reward the creatures who seem to have freed us
>don’t know how our dual nature is going to make this work but they can have blessings from the one they want
>they’re only mortal so who cares?
>time to get to that necron and go our separate ways
>Be Orikan.
>Still in tug of war for control over Daemonic ice with formerly imprisoned C’Tan on volcanic moon.
>Eclipse should be ending soon and C’Tan should be imprisoned again.
>Not sure what will happen to ice but can’t think about that now.
>Must stay focused.
>Annoying human on mechanical steed keeps peppering with primitive ballistic weapons while ridding circles around me.
>Necrodermis is able to heal quickly but every time he runs out of ammo he just reloads and starts again.
>Very annoying but must stay focused for just a bit lo—
>Fuck broke concentration.
>Not goo—
> Be Zeta-23
> Sensors and skitarii yelling about necron and daemon
> Don't know what you want me to do
> Some vehicles are requesting emergency reconsecration
> One squad is almost out of power packs
> Jump out of command tank, hop in one of our supply vehicles
> Drive me closer.vox
> Battlefield is a mess
> Our infantry is holding their own but that drugged up guy is tearing through the Caledonians still
> Arrive at stricken Chimera, throw powerpacks at troopers, plasma at plasma trooper
> I will ease the machine's pain.vox
> Going to have to temporarily rig these threads until we get this to somewhere we can fix it properly
> Keeping my head down and moving heavy threads at the same time
> Lasbolts all around me
> Tanks firing
> This is why I stay in the command vehicle
> Feels like hours but I get the Chimera fixed and the squad gets moving
> On to the next one
>Be Mandrake
>Kinda just joined the WAAAGH
>See an Ice falling from the sky
>Desert planet begins to have a snow
>Monkeigh see the Waaagh and statr fireing
>At us
>Orks ride on ramshakeled trucks, some insect looking flying machines
>It seams that the laser atreacted other greenskin tribes
>And monkeigh
>And I think i saw a skeleton of Necrontyr lying somewheare.
>and deamons
>And Cat monkeight
>It bassically slowly changes into an all out war.
>Look at my companion
>He yells something abaut a BIG ROBOT and stuff.
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> Be I, Dhuri Jahell, commander of... who cares
> The Sand has mixed with Ice
> The Ice has mixed with Fire
> The Fire mixes with Blood
> It is too hard to tell between my troops and theirs in this occluded battleground
> Start to realise I don't care
> HeCaresNotFromWhenceItFlows.OnlyThatItDoes
> Any figure I see in the storm, I rush towards and kill
> My hands are thick with blood
> But I will not be satisfied until we break through and add Asur heads to the collection.
> Above the storm, see the great Shai'Halud
> Upon is a big green thing
> Next to it is a Shadowbeing, looking similar to the Asur but too strange to tell
> BeggarsCantBeChoosers.blood
> Let loose my grapping hook, start scaling the sacred worm
> Gimme some head(s), motherfuckers
>Be Sergeant Yuri
>The lava moon moves slightly forwards revealing the sun.
>Instantly all the all the emerald energy is sucked back into the tower.
>There is a second of calm before it blasts outwards in a giant green explosion.
>I have just enough time to see the blast before ducking into my Leman Russ and closing the hatch.
>My tank is sent spinning through the air.
>I feel like a rock in a washing machine, but hold onto the ladder.

>Somehow, not even I’m sure really, I survive.
>Ask how the rest of my crew is doing and hear various groans and moans in response.
>Feel super dizzy.
>Open hatch to get my bearings.
>Fall flat on my face in a mud puddle.
>I then throw up.
>Stand up as the works tilts left and right.
>My tank is on its side halfway buried in the mud.
>Look around and see the ice storm is gone.
>Most of the ice chunks being blasted away.
>Place is covered in snow and melting ice as various people get up and dust themselves off.
>Wonder what happens now.

I meant to say
>”WORLD tilts left and right.”
Not “works tilts left and right.”
>be Captain Viddral
>trying to get my ship back into space
>ships of his glorious imperial majesty’s navy not intended for atmospheric combat
>almost there
>ship starts to fall
>check my readings
>literally in orbit and stuck there
>going to hit remaining moon that might have a C’tan in it in almost exactly half a day
>put out a request for help
>Be me.
>Words cannot describe just how much fun I have had over the last hour.
>Intense combat with lasgun, bayonet, and E-tool action all aplenty. Xenos, heretics, everything.
>All the blood and ice and snow and assorted things has turned the sand into a far more enjoyable sludgy muddy loam.
>Rapidly lost any semblance of an idea of what the sweet fuck is going on, but I'm pretty sure at least two different subcategories of xenos/heretic just came into existence during the battle.
>Killed loads of targets. Still don't know what's better, e-tool or bayonet.
>Now everything's died down, I do my sacred duty as penitent to the Oberkaizer and immediately begin entrenching works in the sleety mire.
>Sing to myself as I work. Comes out a little more like a trumpet due to the tube in my respirator kit, but I can hear the words well enough.
>I love my e-tool. Still wonder if I can get one of those fancy hand portable excavator machines though.
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>Be me
>Tempestor Prime Venenatus
>Finally reached the knight house.
>The arms Master welcomes me and my men and show the battle plan while being under fire from all side and everything.
>Destroying a wall then rushing inside at full speed, killing everything that is not a servant of the Emperor or the Omnissiah.
>Then destroy the webway gate.
>There is apparently some skitarii forces that managed to get inside so when finished we will support them.
>Start shooting the eastern wall with Taurox missile launcher, turret cannons and the knight artillery.
>The wall finally breaks a huge blast almost send our Taurox prime if it was not for the knight keeping them on the ground.
>As dust settles the tower is no longer glowing and the sun shines again.
>Head is ringing like crazy.
>Everyone is putting themselves back up.
>Except the knights.
>Knights who find funny to huse all together their horns.
>Order my driver to restart the engine.
>Take the vox-com.
The eastern wall of the perfidious xeno fortress is breached! FORWARD YOU DOGS ! IN THE NAME OF THE GOD EMPEROR OF EARTH!!
>Get a small replies and another from a catachan regiment asking if it's a nid fortress.
>The admnistratum send us again some enlightenend rivaling the astronicon...
>Reply that there is no nids but they must get their ass here ASAP.
>Finally begin the charge.
>50 Taurox and 10 knights and other various vehicle busting in an enemy fortress what a sight to behold.
>Open the hactch of the turret and start shooting potshot at every one non imperial.
>What a day!
>What a lovely day!
> Be Zeta-23
> Thrown about in an explosion
> Everyone seems okay
> Fighting stops for a moment
> Krieger immediately building a sand/snow castle
> Voidship voxing for fuel
> Presumably the mechanicus will help him since he did help us blow up this weird tower
> Tempestor picks this moment to arrive, drives right past the whole battle and links up with the knights to charge right into into the fortress
> Blood Pact mostly broken
> Not sure where the drugged up possible daemonhost is though
> Analyse situation.exe
> Wasn't there supposed to be orks?
> Maybe the Tempestus already dealt with them
> Just go back to repairing vehicles and getting everyone mobile
> Not sure what we're supposed to do now but I'm an enginseer so I'm repairing machines
>Be me.
>Felinid Mercenary Captain Scarlett.
>Be sniping enemies.
>One of the Blood Pack let’s out a cry of rage and points his blade at me.
>Starts to rush towards me.
>Try to shoot him but he just tanks the las shots like their nothing.
>Kid is fast, like REALLY FAST.
>Before I can take out my own blade he’s already on me attacking, forced to put up my long las to block.
>He keeps swinging his sword and I’m forced to keep blocking.
>He’s inhumanly fast but not as well trained in hand to hand as I am so he just keeps doing the same over the head swing I keep blocking.
>Kid bellows something about my outfit being too revealing and apparently that really pisses him off.
>Honestly don’t know why he’s targeting me specifically, I have a whole squad of women dressed just like this he seams to be ignoring.

>Suddenly all of the green energy is sucked back into and it explodes.
>I am sent flying but thankful land in a nice soft pile of snow.
>After a brief rest I get up.
Achoo >.<
> Get my bearings.
>Icenado is gone.
>Blood Pack kid is nowhere to be seen.
>Desert now looks like the aftermath of a Slaanesh orgy (but without as much blood).
Pic related.
>Look around and see Yuri’s tank stuck halfway in the mud.
>Some Valhalla’s and Skitarii are going over there to help get it out.
>Decide there’s as good a place as any.
>Shivering from the snow.
>First it was too hot now it’s too cold.
>Hopefully my next contract won’t be this challenging.
>Be me
>Conscripted to fight Humanity's enemies.
>We have to camp out in a great ship's hangar deck
>Commissar says it'll be a 6-month journey to our destination.
>Emerge from Void Travel *12* months later.
>The planet is fine...
>Naval crew synchronizes with a nearby satellite.
>It's 3 months before we left.
>Be Ace Lightning pilot Tiff.
>Eldar tower just blew up.
>Sent spinning out of control.
>Hear over vox as more marauders cry “mayday” before exploding.
>Manage to gain some control of my plane, just in time to see a navy vessel right infront of me!
>Pull up and fly through the various towers and cathedrals pulling some intense Gs.
>Somehow make it out alive and try to gain some altitude.
>Wait… why is the ground above me?
>Realize mistake and flip my fighter the right way.
>Finally let out sigh of relief.
>I then pull out barf bag and vomit.
>I NEVER want to experience anything like the last 80 minutes of my life ever again.

>Look down a bit at the ground to see how the battles going and if anyone down there survived the green nuke.
>See a massive army of giant sand worms with orks riding them (when I say “massive” I really mean there’s only 5-10, but keep in mind they are HUGE.)
>Some if the sand worms are also shorter, meaning the orks have probably been cutting them in half to make more.
>How are the ground forces meant to deal with THAT!?
>Especially just after another battle.
>Suddenly notice the webway gate.
>The still INTACT, ACTIVE, MASSIVE, webway gate.

Out of character: Just wondering how close we are to the limit? When do we start a new thread?
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>Be plasma gun, Ryza-pattern, designation "H07-D4WG"
>Extremely lucky
>Enginseer came to the squad to resupply master and the squad
>Good timing, as I was on my last shots
>Master changes my fuel unit as fast as he can, but the onslaught isn't stopping
>Concentrate really hard to pool my last bit of energy into a shot, as I hear a traitor closing in on master
>After master reloads, hear some soothing binary from the chimera
>Enginseer is sticking around to repair it
>Feels like hours, but we fend off the traitors long enough for the enginseer to repair the chimera
>Master and the squad pile back in, as the chimera joins the retreat
>During the retreat, hear a massive blast outside of the transport
>A second later, everything starts tumbling, especially the troops and myself around the back of the chimera
>Would soil myself if I wasn't a plasma gun
>Master holds me tight, keeping me safe throughout the ordeal
>After much crashing, the transport comes to a halt, though I can tell that it's in a slanted position
>Hear movement from the front
>"Thank the Emperor I had my restraints fastened. Who's still alive?"
>Hear some of the squad get up, a few taking longer to come to, and some not getting up at all
>Need to figure out what happened
>Can't move myself, so have to wait for master and the remaining squad to get up and out of the transport
>Squad is doing a quick roll call
>Master hasn't got up yet

>be alk’vulht’lakkem
>be purely of the warp again
>turns out trying to give both C’tan and deamon gifts result in nobody getting anything
>here some machine spirit wanting something
>on my way to grant it’s want
>sense sand worms young
>enter the batch and “guide” them towards the machine
>still don’t know what the new creatures are but they fight the creations of the Slaan so they must be the best choice
>new hosts are so easy to reshape
You can do what you want with the demon attempting to grant your wish little plasma gun
We can do around 200 more post. We got time and this story really fast compared to others
>Be Mandrake
>Riding Sandworm with my companion
>Going through Monkeigh with our monster
>Fells good
>Turn araund
>See some monkeigh in blood climbing the sand worm
>Go deal with it
>Before i could strike a fuckhuge explosion happends
>The explosion wave knocks me out of the fand worm
>I think I even fly
>Wake up under a load of sand
>Despite my superiour genetics it still hurt
>Look araund
>See the ruins
>Think that shurely something had to remain
>See a giant webway
>It's going to get even hotter here
>Decide to acquire so fancy tech to satisvy the archon and get paid in that sweet sweet Hive Tyrant Skull(it will make such a good table)
>On the prowl
>Notice a Monkeigh gun >>86069013
>Poke it for a second with a sicle
>Even that dumb archon won't accept such a primitive device
>Kick it away
>The search continues
>Hear that some of the waagh is still fighting
>Also some ships appear to have fallen from the sky
>The Mandrake is on the prowl again.
>But in the fuckload of snow this time.

>Be plasma gun
>Trying to heat up just enough to wake master, but not hurt him
>It's not working
>Trying to figure out what I can do when I suddenly feel myself get thumped
>Why would master's friends kick me?
>Feel small squirming on parts of my chassis
>As if I was being crawled upon by worms
>Hear a voice from them
>They offer me a way to save my master
>Willing to do anything for master
>Ask them what they want
>The worms say that they will let me know when it is time
>Feel them crawling off of me, towards the direction of master
>Are they going to help him up? They're much too small
>Don't feel or hear anything
>Still don't know what launched me
>After what feels like an eternity, hear some shuffling from my master
>It can't be
>Feel my frame being hefted once more
>"Ugh, what happened?"
>It's him
>Master lives!
>I don't know what those worms did, but they brought him back
>Hear someone calling master's name for roll
>He quickly responds and starts going there
>Squad is happy to see us
>One of them points out a mark I have on me from where I felt the thump
>Who, or what hit me?
>Either way, master is back, but still can't help that I might hear from those worms again
>Also happen to notice that master is scratching the back of his head and neck
>Unfortunately, I can't help master as a backscratcher, but at least we can kill things again
>Master and squad realize that their vox units aren't working anymore, so the squad decides to go on foot to find the nearest unit that can contact command, or find someone who can give orders
>Must be vigilant for mystery thumper; might thump master
>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri.
>Trying to get my tank out of the mud.
>Or at least on its tracks.
>Some of the Skitarii and Valhallans come to help out as well as a few of the Felinid mercenaries all working together to try and right my tank.
>Among them Scarlett, who accidentally steps in my puke from earlier.
>Hear this: https://youtu.be/tYbGdBTMZ_s
>And see taurox approaching.
>At first I think it’s the Tempestus Scion guy showing up to help tow my tank out of the mud, but instead he just drives right past us and starts attacking the Eldar fortress that already has a giant smoking crater in the middle.
>Really starting to hate that guy.
>Walk over to the Krieger and ask him if he wants to use his shovel to help dig out my tank?
>Vox operator runs over and gives me the horn.
>It’s Tiff, and she says there’s an army of orks approaching riding around 5 sand worms.
>Also says we can lure them into the webway gate to get rid of them.
>”Cool plan… how are we supposed to though?” She doesn’t elaborate.
>Look over to said webway gate and see the Tempestus Scions are getting ready to destroy it.
>Give vox horn back and rush over to tell the Storm Troopers to stop atleast until after we’ve dealt with the orks.
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>Be me
>Knight Pilot Elaine of house Pallas of the Chaagrut sector.
>My house was called on this quest to exterminate a foul genestealer cult.
>But there is only eldars and heretics here
>Arm master Caleb and a Tempestor have decided to launch a joined attack on the former.
>So here I am abord my trustee warden pattern questoris knight lighting everything too red, or too pointy.
>I also put tanks and other vehicles back on tracks with my knight thunderstrike gauntlet.
>My knight is more than happy "to help the common militia back on their feet".
>One Leman Russ as several people of different regiments trying to get it out the mud.
>Lift it off the ground put it a few feet away and point at the webway gate.
>What seems to be the driver, a valhallan points at the opposite direction.
>5 sandsquiggs are coming and with them a full waaagh.
>An ace pilot want to throw them in the webway and then trap them.
>Send signal to the Arm master Caleb about this change of plan.
>He replies to me that the Scions are planting charges and can detonate them when the waaagh gets inside the portal.
>Transmit the news to the pilot and the tankist.
>Start trying to mow the waaagh down with my gatling.
>Knight is roaring with joy.
>Until we both realise that the waaagh is coming for US.
> Be Zeta-23
> Taking supply vehicle around the battlefield, distributing ammo, emergency repairs
> Everything is a mess, everyone is trying to regroup in several different places
> Manage to drag some marauder crew out of a wreck
> Most of them are dead though
> Orks actually approaching now according to Tiff
> I think they were actually chasing the Tempestor here
> Tiff wants us to lead the orks into the webway gate
> Yuri asking for clarification
> None forthcoming
> Load remaining Marauder bombs into supply vehicle
> Not like it's a good idea to leave them for the Orks
> Vox Yuri and tell him the Orks will probably just chase us
> If we move to the other side of the gate they'll charge through the middle
> Better go fast though
> Knight wanders over and literally sets some tanks back on their tracks
> Knight starts blazing away at the orks
> Oh shit, they're close
> We need more time
> Start telling everyone to get moving past the gate, time to go
> Hope everyone makes it
> Idea.exe
> Take supply vehicle as far as I dare towards the orks and leave half the marauder's bombs
> And a detonator
> Dodging bolts on the way back but here we go
> Waiting for everyone to reach minimum safe distance
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>Run as fast as I can over to the Tempestus Scions.
>By the time I get there I am panting and out of breath.
>After catching my breath explain we can use the Wraith Gate to get rid of the sand worms.
>They say they already know the situation thanks to there helmet vox units.
>They also say they were planting charges they can detonate at any time.
>So looks like I ran all the way over here for nothing.
>Turning around I see a knight lift my tank out of the mud and place it upright, so that’s nice.
>I also see the orks are close enough start shooting.
>I take cover behind one of the wraith gate pillars with the Scions and grab a fallen las rifle opening fire on them along side the storm troopers.
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> Be me, Dhuri Jahell, commander of the Blood Jihad (or whatevers left of it)
> As I'm ascending the Sacred Worm, notice that the wierd Asur whose head I wanted to take has left
> Run up on the green thing and give him the old shove
> GrandTheftShaiHulud.worm
> Notice that the storm has mostly died, see that my army is floundering and falling back
> Except >>86065268, who is chasing some sort of cat
> He rides off towards the great gate, explodes
> Yikes.blood
> Could it be that charging into a collapsing moon was a bad idea?
> Was attacking the Star Imperium with nothing but Shivs, Stubbers and Drugs a bad idea?
> Did my indiscriminate killing of my own men wear down their morale?
> AmISoOutOfTouch.blood
> NoItIsTheSoldiersWhoAreWrong.skull
> Start to move my troops towards the gate
> Seeing me from the back of the sacred worm has reinvigorated them
> A strange energy runs through the air - as we charge mighty red beings with flaming swords leap out of the ice and follow us as we charge
> I start to hear a voice

s̴̪̫͑̿ù̴̝̞n̸̛̗̏d̵͓̒͆è̵̝̓r̷̢̳̃ ̴̨̹̎̿t̶͉̊ḩ̶̪̌e̸̛͔̊ ̴̯̺͊p̸͚̈́ͅo̵̗͊̽ṛ̵͕́t̸̝̳̀͒a̵̛̬͊l̴͉̓̈́ͅ ̶͔͊̌a̸̗͑n̷͓̭̐̄d̷̖͚̋ ̸̠̔̽ǩ̶̦̦h̷͙͓̆ō̴̜̈́r̸͎̫͠ñ̵̠͗e̵̬͂͐ ̶̢̱̒ẅ̶̙̣͐i̷̫̓̍l̷̳͎͒l̵̢͗ ̶͍͉͌c̷͑̏ͅl̸̞̞͑a̶͈̘̕î̷̟̓m̵̢̞͂̆ ̵̨̟͒t̸̻͉̃̈ḧ̴́ị̸̀͛s̸̝͑ ̶̰̒̈w̷̱͗̈ö̷͔r̷̤̼̂̎l̴̗̏̚d̸̻̦̉

> I didn't get most of that, but I understood the intent
> We must destroy the gate so that the spirits can liberate this world for us
> Blood for the Blood God!
> Skulls for the Skull Throne!
> Be Zeta-23
> Supply vehicle taking me back to our tanks as fast as possible
> They're all finally moving towards the fortress along with the Caledonians, at least the ones still good to move
> Except one
> Can't raise Yuri
> His tank isn't moving
> Get supply vehicle to drop me at Yuri's tank
> Crew tell me he ran to yell at Tempestus while it was still flipped
> Get them moving, he'll want it back
> Ready my detonator for when the orks get past the bomb I left back there
> Tell the knight to fall back with us, we can't provide support any longer
> Some of our long range tanks are driving backwards and taking potshots though

>Be plasma gun
>Surprisingly, the chimera still works
>The whole squad needs to push against it to get it off of its side, though
>Contribute by cheering on master
>Don't have any vocals to do so, but it's the thought that counts, right?
>Master and squad manages to right the chimera, and we all pile in
>According to the vox, we're supposed to be retreating
>The guy operating the vox picks up another signal
>After clearing it up, apparently some scions are with Sergeant Yuri getting ready to blow up the Eldar's stuff
>Master and squad decide to drive over there to help them retreat
>Vox operator convinces some nearby chimeras to join us
>Overhear that apparently, the scions lost some of their own transports
>Ready myself to take out some big targets

Mark my words, master will get that shiny new medal if it's the last thing I do
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>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>We got sent to another shithole world where wearing heavy clothing is unpleasant
>High Command is probably still pissed off about the whole Y’Es incident.
>This world is a desert, arguably even worse than a jungle
>Wear you uniform, pass out from heat stroke, remove your uniform, get sunburns and covered in sand
>Luckily I spend most of my time in the chimera, where it is even hotter, but there is no sun
>Everyone is stripped down to basically nothing, and still soaking in sweat
>Spent several hours guarding the supply depot
>There is fighting going on somewhere, but no one ever tells us anything
>Regimental chain of command has been in tatters since Y’Es, and lately Sergeant Yuri has been the de facto commander ever since he appointed himself the spokesperson of the regiment
>Get orders to move up and attack the Eldar base
>Wait, there are Eldar on this planet?!?
>be me
>turns out since I got locked away that pervert has staked a claim to every eldar soul yet that ridiculous blood god is still a big deal
>this to use the mortal terminology sucks
>still I have this big group of unclaimed warriors
>decide whichever of them destroys the structure they intend to destroy is getting a deamonhood
>that will show them I’m a generous master
>Be Sergeant Yuri.
>Holding down trigger and letting out as many las bolts as I can.
>Out of ammo.
>Reload while the Scions cover me.
>Suddenly notice the presumed leader of the Blood Pack.
>He starts rushing towards me.
>Moving like something out of a Tau propaganda cartoon.
>Disappearing in a blur of lines only to show up somewhere else a second later.
>Out of nowhere a Leman Russ backs into him, crushing him underneath its treads.
>Can tell it’s mine because the back half is covered in mud.
>MFW the hatch opens and Zeta-23 sticks his head out wondering if he hit someone.
>Ditch the Scions and climb onto my tank letting the tech priest drive.
>Tell him if we survive this I’ll see what I can do about making him a Magos again.
>Hear bones crunching as he floors the reverse, putting the portal inbetween us and the worms.
>Get a transmission so I hop on the vox.
MFW I recognize Trooper Sasha’s voice.
>She asks me where the Eldar are?
>I briefly tell her most of the Eldar seam to have died in the explosion when the eclipse ended.
>Also explain we are now fighting the Blood Pack and Orks riding giant worms the size of Titians.
>Oh and the fact that an ice moon was shredded by a strange ritual that we still don’t really understand.
>So we are now fighting on a patch of snow and ice in the middle of the desert, surrounded an Eldar base that’s little more than a crater now.
>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>I guess I said the bit about the Eldar out loud and the comms picked it up
>Yuri gives me a short explanation about explosions and eclipses and the ice moon exploding that doesn’t make any sense
>You pop open the top hatch, and sure enough there is large chunks of ice scattered around the desert
>Huh, you think the Chimera crew could have at least mentioned the falling ice to its passengers, or maybe they did, but you were just passed out from the heat
>You are feeling a bit light headed...
>And you are feeling a strange compulsion to blow stuff up

>Be Mandrake
>Think abaut what to do now.
>Really have no idea what is happening araund anymore.
>See how Monkeigh engages orks, and I can assure that I saw daemons
>Many of them Gather araund the Webway gate.
>Sneak up to them
>Some of them are planting devices araund it
>See how Orks are fighting a Monkeigh Wraithlord wannabe
>But shitter
>Maybe if I'll get that archon some exotic slave he will be okay with it.
>Look towards the Old Aeldari base it's nothing but crater
>Decide to "help" the group of my greenskin companions.
>See the giant monkeigh mech
>Pull out my sickle and with my shadow magic and speed get beneath it
>Start climbing it while cutting some cables
>What sort of primitives leave cables without protection
>Climbing to the skull shaped thing on top
>Be young member of Blood Jihad.
>During glorious fight with mutant female some foul outsider sorcery destroyed the tower of our protectors and sent me flying across the dunes.
>By body slammed into several chunks of eys breaking my bones and spilling my blood across the desert.
>My form was shattered and split open.
>My limps twisted to the point I couldn’t even grab my own sword.
>My head split open and blood seeping into my eyes.
>Yet even in this broken state I still clung into life.
>I still craved revenge.
>I still thirsted for the blood of the outsiders.
>I said a prayer to Shai-Hulud to give me strength enough to slay the outsiders in his name. And present there skulls to him.
>And Shai-Hulud answered.
>My bones knitted together.
>My flesh restored.
>My skin stained sacred red.
>The symbol on my forehead burned like the suns.
>It was a painful process.
>But it was a good pain.
>I rose from deaths grasp.
>I was whole again. But also so much more.
>My suit was torn, but I was not worried for my new red flesh was clearly a blessing to be shown off.
>After rising I watched as our glorious leader Dhuri Jahell was run over by the head outsiders steel contraption.
>My rage boils over to the point it’s melting the ice around me.
>I raise my blade, (which is now also my arm.)
A bit rude to kill someones pov out of nowhere, innit?

> Be me, Dhuri Jahell, Jihadi ascendant
> I catch a look at a man who I presume to be the leader of these Star Imperium fools
> Rush towards him to do glorious combat
> So fervent to kill am I, that I fail to foresee a large metal cart running into me
> I land on my back, and quickly roll out of the way...
> Not quick enough; My right arm is destroyed and ripped asunder, blood pours out.
> ImStartingToCareFromWhenceTheBloodFlows.pain
> I grab one of the blood spirit's flaming swords and seal the wound.
> I am now crippled, and am now unfit to lead this Jihad
> I see my lieutenant rise with burning purpose
> ThisIsGood.warp
> He will lead in my stead
> With the time I have left I will achieve vengeance upon those bastards who ran me over
> DontDrinkAndDrive.blood
> I snort all the rest of my spice in one go
> I run after them, hellblade in hand
> Vengeance will be mine
Didn’t mean to kill him. That’s why I had the my other character (the young member of the Jihad) get even more brutalized and brought back even stronger to show it was possible.
Sorry anyways though.
No big deal. I'm coming to get you though, you imperial son of a bitch
>Be Sergeant Yuri.
>Feel a sudden sense of doom hanging over my soul.
>Tank is still driving backwards.
>Look over and see the leader of the Blood Pack stand up after getting run over by a fucking tank and inhale his nose tube HARD.
>He then grabs a flaming sword from one of the daemons and cauterized his missing arm.
>Turn the turret and fire a round at him.
>Looks straight at me with eyes that I swear are literally glowing.
>What I presume to be to be his second in command now stands next to him with an army of daemons and traitor guard.
>They both just point there swords directly at me.
>Be me
>Knight Pilot Elaine of house Pallas of the Chaagrut sector.
>Stomping and spraying bullets on everything green
>Look up to see a big ork on top of a sandworm or id it sandsquigg for them?
>Doesnt matter.
>Orks must die.
>Throw a split chimera at his face.
>He dodges it and screams to some orks behind him.
>Suddenly gets harpooned in the shoulder by an ork team on the worm.
>The knights shoulder to be precise.
>Scream in pain together.
>Shoot back as we get dragged on the worm.
>As soon we get the back of the beast we stomp and blast everything despite a malfunction of the left leg.
>Run to the warboss
>Grab him with the thunderstrike gauntlet.
>Use all horns to scream at him.
>Show him enough dakka.
>Throwing whatever is left of him aside.
>Grab the chains of the sandworm that the warboss was holding and more the beast toward the webway gate.
>Pass in the middle of a heretic group running after a leman russ backtracking.
>The rest of the waaagh on sandworms saw me and started to pursue me.
>Good the plan will go more easily that way.
>Try to see what is wrong with the left leg.
>Several circuitry damaged, connection and alimentation cables are most cutted...
>No blast damage...
>Suddenly half of the cockpit is ripped out by a black and green figure.
>Scream in pain and terror as i feel like half of half my face being ripped off despite still being here.
>Grab my pistol and start shooting it as we enter the webway portal...
> Be Zeta-23
> Return tank to Yuri
> He jumps in and promises to do his best to get me back to magos
> Guess I ran some hostile over
> What a nice guy
> Monitoring battle on sensors again
> See knight is out of blast range of marauder bomb
> And in some distress
> Can't do much with a tank in case I damage the knight but the skitarii and scions will help, right?
> Set off marauder bomb I left in the ork lines to thin them out
> Yuri yelling at me to go faster immediately
> Disengage blessed safety protocols, engines at 150% of safe capacity
> Pushed back in my seat a little
> Dodging scions and other friendlies
> Running over hostiles
> Ask yuri what we're running from and where to


>Be plasma gun
>Master and squad, along with other chimeras, arrive at the scion's position and we begin to aid in evacuating those without transport
>Master and I help provide covering fire
>Traitors and Orks are here, though some of the traitor's forces seems different
>The weird traitors sound otherworldly, and I can feel them pushing against my mind
>Fortunately, the pressure begins to release every time master pulls my trigger and we incinerate one
>They're definitely tougher, though. Many of them are taking multiple shots
>Start shooting harder, filling each of my strikes with more rage, determined to see my master through
>Seems to be taking less shots to kill each one, but they're still coming
>Fortunately, they're not as fast as a chimera, and we just finished loading up the last of the scions in ours
>Master and I board the transport and start gunning it out of there
>Hope we go to a new firing line
>Feel some bumps in the transport accompanied by the muffled roaring of those weird traitors from underneath us
>Notice that master is scratching the back of his neck and head again
>Chirurgeon happens to be on board and seems to notice, too
>Checks master and says he doesn't see anything, and that it might be nerves
>Maybe it has something to do with those weird worms?
>Hope master sees the medicae after this battle
>Speaking of, start wondering what our next orders are
>Listen more intently to the vox operator to see if I can hear anything
>Apparently, he doesn't know what next to do either, so he's trying to vox Sergeant Yuri
Who’s pov did I kill?
Never mind, read the next post. I thought since it was below my (you) it was meant for me.
>Be Mandrake
>Climbing to the top of the robot
>Reach the skull shaped thing
>Staight up Rip the plate
>Hear the screams
>Look into cockpit
>Get shoot at with a gun.
>With A kick jump on the female monkeigh and pin her to the seat
>As I raise my sickle I see my surrounding have changed
>We are in the webway
>See the orks with worms
>and some spicky monkeigh
>O no
We blow it up?
>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>Wake up
>Still in Chimera
>Must have passed out from overheating again
>Ask Chimera commander where we are
>She says we are in the Webway
>Ask what the possible fucking justification we would have for entering the Webway
>Chimera commander says we are luring an army of sand worms into it
>What the actual fuck!?!
>I see a lot of holes in this plan...
Yes. Gimme an hour or two.
>be alk’vulht’lakkem
>still inhabiting a swarm of worms
>sense breach into webway
>head straight for it
>forget about that princehood I’m going to make the webway chaos again
>maybe make someone a prince
anyone want that princehood justify it and write that you get it
Makes no sense.
Thank you for your valuable feedback, hopefully future threads will be of the high standard for sense we all expect from tg
>Be me
>Tempestor Prime Venenatus
>Planted charges on the webway portal.
>Now holding the line to wait for a knight to bait them inside.
>It's what the guard does best!
>The knights give us a great cover and a formidable firepower for anything larger than a chimera.
>I lost many good men today but for each men dying on our two heretics or xenos die!
>Many fall to my chainsword and hellgun.
>Mostly orks.
>Cant help but wonder to what happened to the chem dogs.
>Were they wiped out?
>Are they fighting the rear of the waaagh?
>Or just got high and refused to do their job unlike other regiments here.
>Like that valhallan sergeant who quickly came to help us and after that his mechanicus friend.
>I should give him a melta gun next time I see him he deserves it.
>As we lose more and more taurox, chimeras, and harbingers knight our forces spread out.
>Like if they were dodging something.
MFW A knight is riding a sandworm leading the waaagh into the portal.
>That is the coolest thing I have ever seen.
>Grab the remote for the demolition charges as everyone urges me to detonate them
>Press it as the portal shakes with strange color.
>It explode in a wave of strange energy, wraithbone and gems.
>The knight house honks in union for their comrade now lost in the webway.
>His sacrifice shall not be forgotten.
>But now is time for a cleanup.
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Hey >>86082058 make >>86082723
A daemon Prince It will be funny
> Be Zeta-23
> Still driving around keeping us away from angry chaos guy
> Plasma trooper's squad trying to vox Yuri who I think might be throwing bottles at the chaos bastard
> tell them to get in cover and hold position
> detect knight and some Valhallan chimera have actually gone in the webway
> hope this portal comes out somewhere safe because I think the tempstus is about t-
> massive explosion
> knights honking mournfully
> eldar structures finally done
> welp
> keep trying to lead the possible daemonhost into our guns
> not actually sure if he's still following us but I'm not going to look and see
> Vox that spaceship captain to relay the knight and chimera vox signatures to the fleet, particularly anybody in worlds with active webway bullshit
> tell him this counts as assisting the mechanicus so he should get his fuel
>be Captain Viddral
>just finished refuelling from the nice mechanicus ship
>receive transmission from Zeta-23 asking me to relay some messages to the fleet
>he wants me to prioritise planets with webway activity
>how high a security clearance does he think I have?
>send like he asked and hope I never have to answer any questions about this
Him or plasma gun owner would be most amusing but it’s the player’s choice, anyone not from a race made by the Slaan and not alined to another chaos power is free to end up a demon prince.
>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri.
>Jerk forward as Zeta-23 doubles the speed on the Leman Russ.
>Watch as army of Khorne worshippers is still gaining on us even then.
>Reload las gun and hold down trigger while another round is loaded into the main cannon.
>Hear explosion and turn to see wraith gate collapsing, sand worms nowhere in sight.
>One less problem to deal with.
>Maybe part of the wraith gate will crush a few traitors?
>Turn around to see where we’re even headed.
>Zeta-23 is taking us into the ruins of the Eldar base with the crater in the middle.
>I guess that’s as good a place as any.
>Be me
>Knight Pilot Elaine of house Pallas of the Chaagrut sector.
>In a corridor of sand made out of stars.
>From what I can see, while trying to blast out what seems to be an Eldar on drug.
>It seems that I am between a sweet dream and a nightmare...
>Suddenly the whole space shrieks and shivers.
>It's as if I am folded and crumpled.
>Resist the violent urge to vomit.
>The thing seems bothered by something else.
>Aim my liberator pistol at his head with a shivering hand and fire.
>I dont want to check if he is dead.
>Probably not.
>I am more tired than ever...
>Everything feels heavy...
>My mind feels crushed by a external forces.
>Suddenly it stop as an even more oppressing silence appears.
>Use this and my remaining forces to shackingly turn on the distress beacon of my knight.
>My steadfast companion in a worst state than me.
>It might be good end...
>Leading man
>K ind enne mi
>Es aw a y
>F r om i t . . .

>Be plasma gun
>In transport with master
>Always love these calm before the storm situations where we have a nice moment of silence to ourselves
>Master still scratching at the back of his neck and head
>Hear that we're getting new orders
>After cleaning up any stragglers, we have to secure the area in case our forces in the warp come back
>What do you mean "forces in the warp"?
>Some of the squad shares my sentiments
>Scions that are with us elaborate
>Learn about the explosion
>Stupid Eldar can't even die without screwing us over
>Hope there's some still alive, because I feel my heat building up
>Either way, looks like master and I are still getting some action

I'm glad that we get to kill more, but I wish these xenos would stop killing my master's friends
>Be me.
>Felinid Mercenary Captain Scarlett.
>Killing as many orks as I can with my long las.
>Watch through the scope as knight manages to get ontop of one and take control.
>They then steer them into the wraith gate and the rest no joke follow.
>Even atleast one chimera follows the WAAAGH in.
>Once all the worms are inside Tempestus Scion next to me pulls out detonator and blows the portal.
>Rainbow light spreads out and the wraithbone structure crumbles like glass.
>One down.
>Turn and see that Zeta-23 and Yuri somehow managed to piss off the leaders of the heretic forces and are now headed towards the ruins of the of the Eldar base while being chased.
>Should probably help out, but I can’t find my sled.
>Decide to ask the Tempestus Captain if he is willing to let me and a few of my all female fellow Felinid mercenaries ride in the taurox with him into the ruins to mop up the last of the heretics?
>be alk’vulht’lakkem
>still inhabiting a swarm of worms
>enter the webway
>suddenly there’s a big explosion behind me
>diverge my swarm
>a me goes on ahead to scout
>a me try’s to burrow through the wall of the webway
>a me asks the creature in the large war machine what it wishes to achieve
>a me eats those creatures crafted by the Skann present
>final me checks if I can reopen the portal, I don’t actually know what I can do from here
>maybe I should have planned this better
>think there’s still a me on the other side but it might not survive if it has to use a lot of power
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>Still driving backwards.
>Still running away from Khorne worshipers.
>They still run like Tau propaganda cartoons.
>We have now reached the ruins.
>Going through the hole in the wall the Tempestus guys made.
>Surprisingly there are still some Eldar in here, see a couple start hiding as we pass by.
>With there giant webway gate destroyed they’re likely stuck here.
>Blood Pack reaches the outer wall of the base and keeps coming, leaping over the rubble.
>”Keep going Zeta!” I shout not even sure myself where we’re headed. Just trying to buy time for some kind of miracle to save me.
>Still sergeant Yuri.
>Where are the Space Marines when you actually need them?
> Be Zeta-23
> Captain says he'll pass on the messages
> Cool
> Still driving tank at double speed from heretics
> End up in the cratered eldar base
> STILL some fucking eldar here
> Yuri yelling at me to keep going
> Avoid running the eldar over because they'll probably slow down the heretics for a few microseconds
> Driving through weakened sections of base as quick as I can
> Voxing all ground forces for help
> Eventually come out a side wall of the base
> Plow through snow, ice, dead eldar, a lost ork
> Try to get the remaining knights to blast this guy
> Someone screaming at me on the vox
> Apparently the bane wolves are finally arriving and want to know why we're driving backwards towards them and who they're supposed to be helping us kill
> Tell them to make a corridor and watch out
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>Reinforcements have finally arrived.
>Valhallans, Skitarii, Chem dogs, Felinid Mercs, Scions, and even a couple of the Eldar survivors are taking shots at the Blood Pack.
>Let out slight sigh of relief.

>Suddenly start falling.

>Zeta accidentally drove us backwards off a fucking cliff.
>Suddenly remember him saying something about tunnels under the base.
>This hole must have opened up when the tower exploded.
>Close hatch and hang onto ladder hoping for the best.

>Be plasma gun
>Apparently, the "stragglers" are still an effective traitor fighting force
>I would be disappointed, but that just means plenty of traitors to kill
>Also, it seems that we have reinforcements coming as well
>From what I can hear, we're gonna be chasing this "Blood Pact", who are chasing Sergeant Yuri and the enginseer, who are heading towards the reinforcements
>Master remarks that the Felinids are gonna be in their element because "this will be a game of the feline and rodent"
>Don't know what that means, but the rest of the squad laugh at that, so it must have been funny
>Glad master still has his sense of humor
>Anyway, the Blood Pact seems unaware that we're on their tail
>We're supposed to keep fire to a minimum until they reach the reinforcements that Sergeant Yuri and the enginseer are heading to
>Can't wait until that happens
>We're gonna surround them, and they're gonna be so confused while master and I incinerate them
>This time, things will go much better
>While we're traveling, for some reason, half of the transport, including the scions, get into an argument about whether liking the Felinids is a shameful act or not
>I thought they were allies
>Something about their "furriness" being an issue
>Master is silent during the argument

Not sure what the issue is, but if they help master kill stuff, they're fine with me

Lmao, I posted >>86087224 before I refreshed and saw yours. Fits together niceley
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> Be me, Dhuri Jahell, vengeance incarnate
> One thing these Imperials dont know - I am very sneaky.
> The blood spirits don't cordone such sneakiness but we've passed the point of appealing to them
> Now I just want my vengeance
> I dress myself in a fallen Imperium minions clothes
> Damn, this furred suit is unbearably hot
> Not surprising that they blew up the cold-rock moon
> I drop the flame sword, pick up a "chained blade" and one of their "laser-arms".
> Am I forgetting anything?
> Oh right, the large symbol I carved into my neck
> Splash some blood on there to cover it up
> IAmVerySneaky.warp
> I creep up on their tank, they are quite preoccupied
> Very carefully open up the rear door
> Pull some random guy out, slit his throat, throw him away
> Take his place as smoothly as you please
> IAmInsideYourWalls.sneak
> All is going according to plan
> I look up, see a red robot holy man
> Female Soldier, wierd
> The cursed gun of plasma
> My hated enemy, the Imperial Sergeant
> My moment to strike is soon
> I just wait for a moment of weakness, then...
> WhyAreWeFalling.blood
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> Be Zeta-23
> Happily speeding towards Chem Dogs
> Suddenly, tank is falling
> Yuri closing hatch
> Tank lands on a STEEP fucking slope, engine stutters a little
> What
> Fucking sandworms
> We're driving backwards down a sandworm tunnel at a ridiculous speed
> No longer able to see where the heretics are
> Sensors say there's exits all around but the only one I can hit without slowing down is almost as steep as this one
> This is about to be either the sickest tank maneuver of all time or the worst but if I don't make it we're going to be stuck down here
> Hope we land in a snowbank or a sanddune or something
> As tunnel levels out sensors see a square side tunnel with a green glow flash past at nearly quadruple speed speed thanks to gravity assisted tank speed
> That better not be important
> Start to climb slope up
> We're going to come out right in the middle of the area between the bane wolves and everyone else
> Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.vox
>Be Sergeant Yuri.
>Keep falling for quite a while, suddenly the tank shudders and we start to climb like we are going up a ramp.
>We fly for a bit.

>Then we start falling again.

>Deeper and deeper we fall until we finally hit something soft.
>Tank starts to fill up with water.
>Grab Zeta-23 and pull him up, me and my gunner work to get out while the tank sinks.
>Working together we manage to drag the tech Priest to the surface while the tank sinks.
>Swim to the edge and get our bearings.
>Coat is soaking wet, but other than that, me, my crew, and Zeta-23 seam fine.
>We seam to be in some kind of underground lake.
>No sign of the hole we fell through, that should atleast buy us some time.
>I wonder who or what built this place?
>I pull out my lighter and see something on the wall.
>Seams to be some kind of cave painting.
>If I’m reading it right apparently the eclipse is used by the Eldar every few ages to terraform this world.
>And now the second moon is gone looks like it won’t happen again.
>Either way now we gotta find a way out of this cave.
>Ask Zeta-23 if he has any ideas?
> Be Zeta-23
> Make worst tank jump ever
> Can't really swim, dragged out of lake
> Thank Yuri and gunner
> Not sure what to do to get out of here
> According to cave paintings the Eldar terraform the world every so often?
> How did they get the ice up there in the first place
> Wonder if enough ice fell to terraform the place this time around
> Recommend we find a way to get in contact with the surface
> Cybernetic will let me vox the skitarii if we get close enough
> Maybe the Valhallans too
> And if there's cave paintings down here there's got to be a way out, right?
> Beg tank's machine-spirit for forgiveness before we leave
>Be me.
>Skitarii Serberys Raider Alpha Theta 9990
>Was at ground zero for Necron energy explosion.
>Body badly damaged.
>Can’t even move.
>Lost track of my horse.
>Running low on power.
>Don’t know where am.
>Somewhere dark, or my eyes just don’t work.
>Hard to think.
>So tired.
>Hear voices.
>Probably nothing.
>Just gonna rest for a bit…
Wait, just to clarify, are you inside of the Chimera Tank with Sasha and the Plasma gun (the one that I think is in the webway) or the Leman Russ tank with Yuri and Zeta (the one that fell into the underground cavern)?
oh, I though it was the same tank. whoops. I'm chasing yuri i guess.
Sasha and the plasma gunner are in separate Chimeras

Sasha is in the Webway, while the plasma gunner's Chimera was near Yuri's tank prior to it falling in a hole

Yuri and Zeta were in the same tank, prior to having to bail after it fell into a lake

Basically >>86087275 took characters from three different locations and put them in the same place, though maybe the plasma gunner's Chimera has a sergeant, woman, and techpriest in it, or maybe Dhuri got in a completely separate Chimera with a sergeant, woman, techpriest, and plasma gunner in it
I’d recomend >>86089239 ‘s explanation that he’s in the plasma guns Chimera and it just so happens to also have a female warrior and a tech Priest inside of it, since there really isn’t really an opportunity for Dhuri Jahell to slip into Yuri and Zeta’s Leman Russ while it’s driving backwards away from the Blood Pack and then off a cliff into an underground cavern.
>be shard of alk’vulht’lakkem
>dig down to hole some of those unaligned mortals have fallen into
>they’ve found some writings about how the Aeldari are using me and the C’tan to change this world
>have an idea
>attempt to reactive it drawing power power from the C’tan
>turns out I’m only a small shard of me and it’s a big shard of it
>head for mortal to hide in
>any mortal
C’tan is back in play to the extent it’s terraforming the world without a warp entity to keep the balance and if no one takes the demon passenger I’ll grab a chem dog.

> Be me, Dhuri Jehell of timeline 1
> I enter a chimera (by mistake), with a number of soldiers inside.
> There are a number of "Valhallans" here, if that is what they are.
> "How do you do, fellow Imperials?"
> They look at me
> IThinkTheyBoughtIt.sneak
> A soldier with a blue gun turns around and blasts me in the face
> My last thoughts are how this could have gone so wrong

> Be me, Dhuri jahell of timeline 2
> I enter a chimera (by mistake), with a number of soldiers inside.
> There are a number of "Valhallans" here, if that is what they are.
> One of them is a female, how strange
> "How do you do, fellow Imperials?"
> They pay me no attention
> IThinkTheyBoughtIt.sneak
> We park by the asur gate, I get out to pretend to fortify the area
> My spice-heightened senses alert me that something is wrong
> I'm starting to feel that my destiny is splintered
> ThisIsStrange.chrono
> I notice a presence rising next to me, a spirit being of tumultuous power ( >>86089464 )
> It's looking at me... hungrily.
> UhOh.warp

> Be me, Dhuri Jahell of timeline 3.
> Dash as quick as my crippled body allows (spice makes one go fast)
> Jump in the Leman Russ as intended
> There are a number of "Valhallans" here, if that is what they are.
> "How do you do, fellow Imperials?"
> They are screaming
> IThinkTheyBoughtIt.sneak
> We fall backwards into a cliff
> Somehow we survive, bail out of the tank
> I feign obedience to this fool, this imperial who has colonised my world and forced his soulless religion upon us
> MyTimeToStrikeIsSoon.scheme
> We pass by ancient asur runes
> Hmm... if I know my ancient runes, this is saying that the shattering of the moon is also a shattering of destinies, and the space between them will grow thin, liable to the toyings of terrible gods
> WhateverThatFuckingMeans.warp
Timeline two Dhuri is now yours, and you can keep him if you like
>Be Mandrake
>Get shot in the cheek
>Fall down
>See the horde of greenskins and heretics
>Dont bother with them if Local Aeldari don't catch them tey will propably die
>Now I have to find the way out of here to my realm
>Time for a long walk
Time be be absent and then come back in the most bullshit moment
>be shard of alk’vulht’lakkem
>grab mortal
>it reeks of the blood god
Around me are others not alined with him
>stand and greet my new followers
>”my mortal servants”
>ok not yet but I’m sure they will come round
>”the vile C’tan is once again free from the prison the feeble aeldari hoped to contain it within”
>leave out my part in that
>”but we shall prevent it from altering this world to its strange designs”
>I hope
>they seem glad I’ve blessed them with my favour
>some of them are referring to me as Emperor
>sense that they expect golden light so I glow gold
>Be Ordo Chronos Inquisitor, code name [REDACTED].
>Notice a timeline split on a bumbfuck nowhere desert planet.
>Those happen all the ti—
>Suddenly notice that it’s actually THREE time lines.
>And some how despite the split of events.
>They are all happening at the same time on one timeline.
>Decide this actually warrants investigation as to how three different events can all still be part of the same timeline.
>Activate Time Machine
>Should arrive sometime before spit if all goes according to plan.
You can do what you want with Elaine. Decide if she is dead or just passed out. Take her away to comoragh, kill her, or wake her up for a fight, you decide Mandrakanon.
>Be me
>Tempestor Prime Venenatus.
>Follow the rest of the blood cult in taurox with several guards that are not part of my regiment.
>They ranks are getting thinner but more weird.
>The warp as clearly a bigger influence on them.
>Some started to devellop spikes and small horns.
>Some started to get more resilient to projectiles.
>They are all focused on a poor Leman Russ tank.
>Said Leman Russ who falls into the crater were the eldar tower was.
>The horde follows it.
>Get out the Taurox and put abseiling ropes at the edge of the crater while ordering the rest to sharp shoot the horde.
>There is actually another crater deeper but smaller and off-centered compared to the first one.
>On the edge of the second crater there is a skitarii raider.
>Request immediate mechanicus the support for him.
>I think he was the one who killed the farseer.
>Get on the edge of the second crater.
>The horde is entering a cave deep down.
>No sight of the Leman Russ...
>Ask if any of the non scion regiment men that came with us have melee weapons and explosives.
>Few men stand out.
>Add them to a group of melta, grenadiers and chainsword users.
>Lead them down in the crater and the cave chainsword in hand, howling all together warcries.
>Be mandrake
>Have a idea
>Get back to the Knight Pilot
>Check her
>It still breathes
>I might As well take her
>At least I might get some enjoyment in flaying her on the way
>Pick her up
>Time to move
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>Walking through weird tunnels.
>See light up ahead.
>Not like daylight, much smaller.
>I see a strangely dressed man holding an odd cogitator with a light on it infront of the paintings.
>He turns to me and smiles.
”GENERAL Yuri, it’s so good to see you again after all these years.”
”Uhhhh do I know you?”
>His smile suddenly fades.
“Oh, I see this is before we met. Hmmm, that’s going to make thing much more difficult.”
>His cogitator starts beeping and he points it at the man missing an arm, it starts beeping even more.
“Hmmmmm, how long has this man been here?”
>I think for a minute, wasn’t he part of my crew?
>No wait a minute, there was Zeta, the loader, the gunner, and… wait. Was he always there?
>Why is he missing an arm?
>Didn’t the guy on the surface who was trying to kill me with the flaming sword als—
>Get a massive headache.
>World tilts left and right. My vision blurring. Blood coming out of my nose.
>Faintly hear the stranger say: “Temporal headache, no. This is not good at all.”
>Bastard must be a psyker trying to trick me.
>Hear a bunch of approaching footsteps as the world goes dark.

> Be I, Dhuri Jahell, sneakster extraordinaire
> EverythingIsGoingAccordingToKaikaku.warp
> They have accepted me as one of their own
> My eyes fixated on the Sergeant in front of me
> There is a light ahead
> A weird man with a glowing tube is here
> ThisIsBadVoodooMyDude.Hoodoo
> They begin talking, his words are strange
> He calls me out
> Sergeant starts bleeding from nose, which would normally be good but right now I need him alive
> This stranger is clearly a wyrding witch
> Yikes.Khorne
> Think fast, grab a grenade and pull the pin
> As everyone dives for cover I grab the sergeant as he feints and take off down the tunnel
> GottaGoFast.spice
> His death will be at my hand, and no others
> Be Zeta-23
> Strange man calling Yuri a general
> How did he even get down here
> "What kind of cogitat-"
> Everything goes weird
> Internal chrono malfunctions for a moment
> I am a magos, an enginseer, a lexmechanic, a hero, and a disgrace all at once
> Snap back to reality
> Oop there goes gravity
> Fall on floor as cybernetics are resyncing
> Guardsmen who hopped in our tank to escape heretics throws a grenade
> Roll behind cover, hold all mechadendrites and both arms over head
> Sit up once explosion is past
> He's taking Yuri
> Traitor!
> Start running after him, see him look back
> Crazy eyes, running at superspeed?
> It's the fucking drugged guy
> Cybernetic databank finally tells me there's some weird shit called spice on this planet that basically gives you superpowers
> Would've been nice to know at the start
> Engage cybernetic legs.machine_superiority
> He's still as fast as me but I hear loyal guardsmen up ahead somewhere
> Hope they don't shoot me or Yuri by mistake
> Engage optical mechadendrite's luminator, pick out spiceman's silhouette for targetting
> Wonder about the weird guy and his super cogitator we left behind
> Hear tank's gunner yelling for me to slow down but he's way behind
> Super cogitator man can get the crew out, right?
> Start dropping chemlights with utility mechadendrite, just in case

>Be plasma gun, Ryza-pattern, designation "H07-D4WG"
>Our chimera went too far, surprisingly close to Sergeant Yuri's position
>Hear reports of chimeras and bane wolves engaging the Blood Pact in that encircling maneuver
>Start heating up in anger, as we should be part of that fight
>We're about to turn around when the driver says that he sees Sergeant Yuri's tank go over the edge into a massive hole
>Drives over so we could investigate this
>Sergeant Yuri and the enginseer are worth being late to a firefight, so cool down a little
>Master and a few of the squad get out to investigate
>There's movement down there, but this is way too steep to follow them
>Scions with us tell us about their radio chatter with their Tempestor Prime, who happens to be in that area
>Squad decides to find a way into the cave system and provide support for the Tempestor Prime, Sergeant, and the enginseer
>Whether by fortune or misfortune, as the driver is looking for a potential entrance, the ground beneath us collapses
>Fortunately, it's more of a tumble than a direct smash, so everyone is more or less fine
>Chimera is still mobile, and this sinkhole landed us in some massive cave system
>While beginning our drive, scions with us are communicating with their own friends down here and come to realize that the cave we're in has similar features as theirs
>Turns out it was good luck that the sinkhole landed us here
>We can worry about getting out later
>Continue our drive, though I notice that master is scratching at his neck and head again, but even more than usual
>Can also sense that he is uneasy
>be alk’vulht’lakkem
>time is getting fucked
>if no one has yet destroyed the webway portal I can leave
>head back to the past
>all my worms escape to the sandy planet
>try to leap forward in time
>some guy sees me, yells about deamons and how the guard must be sent
>received an explanation from just as planned guy
>get dragged into the moon because time stuff
>be final shard of alk’vulht’lakkem
>all my power no longer exist because Tzeench still thinks I’m going to be a problem for him
>time travel cost me much
>notice a small amount of my power is in this host
>was in here when I arrived
>it’s the Spice!
>time travelling me mutated the worms and dropped them off early in time and their spice has been absorbing my power and the C’tan’s
>kick blood god out of my people!
>I care very much about from where the spice flows
>beyond merely being of the warp!
>as soon as I realise how to make a body I’m going to get so much done!
>time to inform EVERYONE of my plans
>be Captain Viddral
>planet is informing everyone about it being some time bending god or something
>don’t have many shuttles but I’m doing my part
>all the worms are moving towards the zone of conflict
>I’m not armed for a planetary bombardment but I do my best to stop them
>hope the ground forces know what they’re doing because I don’t
>Be new leader of Blood Jihad (formerly young planetary native that joined the Blood Pack).
>Leading army of brothers in the name of the god of rage and vengeance.
>Chasing the metal man and the outsider leader who ran over Dhuri Jahell.
> Dhuri Jahell gave me command then before my eyes split into 3 different versions of himself.
>two go to an outsiders troop transport.
>1 of them getting shot.
>2nd makes it into one of the METAL BOXES
>The third manages to leap onto the tank containing his two most hated enemies as it falls into the darkness below.
>Make it into the sacred city of our guardians.
>One of the guardians, a female in white armor with a mane of crimson jumps off the wall screaming at me sword raised.
>Fast enough to block her blade with my sword arm.
>Every cut she makes just makes my power grow.
>Manage to kill her easily because women can’t be warriors.
>Speaking of women warriors where is that one in the revealing outfit?
>I want to try out my new powers on her.
>See the elite of the outsiders descending into the hole one of the Dhuri Jahell’s fell down.
>Decide there’s as good a place as any to look for her.
>Call some of my blood brothers to me and lead a charge on the Sardaukar, shouting his glory.

>Also hear voice in head trying to cut my connection to the spirit of rage.
>Thanks but I prefer the god that gave me superpowers.
>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>So apparently our idiot Chimera driver misinterpreted Yuri’s instructions and drove into the Webway even though it wasn’t strictly necessary
>Now we are trapped here with a dead knight, a few Chimeras about to be overrun, several giant worms, orks, cultists, and some daemons
>Luckily the giant worms start attacking the daemons, giving everyone in my Chimera a chance to escape
>But my 30 second introduction course to orienteering didn’t prepare me for navigating alternate dimensions of multi-colored energy
>Quickly get lost and separated from squad
>See weird black skinned eldar carrying a Knight driver
>Go down a different tunnel instead
>Be ace lightning pilot Tiff.
>Haven’t really done much, not really much to do up here.
>Almost out of fuel, about to return to base when I get a message from Captain Viddral that there’s a massive group of sand worms approaching the Eldar ruins everyone is fighting in.
>I know how to fly a Valkyrie so I can help with the evacuation.
>Decide once I get back to my ship I’ll hop in a Valkyrie and see what I can do to help.
>Better than doing literally nothing up here.
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>Be plasma gun
>Still in chimera with master and squad
>Everyone is on edge, as the caves are eerily quiet
>Only have the chimera's headlamp to light the way at this point
>After a bit, start hearing the echos of battle
>Scions relay to us from vox chatter that we've found the Tempestor Prime and his soldiers
>Chimera driver starts speeding towards the sounds as our scions inform the Prime of the reinforcements
>We finally get to their area of the cave to find that it opens up into a crater
>Chimera multilaser opens fire on the traitors, trying not to hit the scions
>As it does so, the driver tries to go around the side of the crater to allow us a clear firing line on the traitors
>The chimera disgorges us, as both the Valhallans and scions take up firing positions
>In my excitement, I let off a shot the moment master puts the slightest pressure on my trigger
>Can't stop firing. I've been holding this in too long
>Master seems to be on the same page as me, and keeps pulling my trigger, which is probably why I can't stop
>Quickly start putting a dent in the Blood Pact's forces as I notice master firing slower, taking more time to aim
>No sign of Sergeant Yuri and the enginseer yet
>Plenty of time to look after we deal with this bloody pack
>DMs/QMs are banned from /tg/
Explains a lot, honestly. Board is a sad shell of what it once was.
>Be me
>Tempestor Prime Venenatus.
>Leading my weird platoon through the tunnels.
>Killing as many heretics as I can.
>They seems drugged the lot of them.
>I heard that gangers take drug to not feel fear or give strengh.
>But this is something else.
>They move really fast.
>Like almost lightning fast.
>Still we are more than them, better equiped and covered by snipers.
>One native with a blade for an arm pop his head out of the tunnels and shoot some words in his tongue.
>Try to blast him but hit only the blade.
>He answer me by throwing me a grenade.
>Ah !
>As if cant throw it back t-
>Left arm and eye gone.
>The pain is impossible.
>Try to redirect it to the first herect that I see.
> He hopes to finish me off quickly...
>Slash his belly open with my chainsword.
>Start stammeringly and progessively turn more and more distinct and clear in my mouth.
>Plunge the chainsword in his right shoulder.
>Cut him in half.
>I have never felt more better in my life !
>Notice another heretic on drug who was fighting an eldar.
>You are next!
> Be Zeta-23
> Still chasing this motherfucker
> More or less evenly matched but that might be because he's carrying a fucking valhallan
> We're going so fast I would've thought we'd reach the Imperials ahead by now
> I guess sound echoes in these tunnels
> Hear Imperial forces engaging heretics
> They followed us into the fucking tunnel
> Hear Tiff saying she'll be back with a Valkyrie and Viddral planning to provide close support
> Also something about the moon again? Bad signal
> Either way, finally, I have vox contact
> "Any Imperial forces in tunnel, this is Zeta-23, I'm chasing a heretic towards you but he's carrying a hostage, please aim carefully"
> Between driving the tank like that and all this running I am truly praising the motive force today
> Almost out of chemlights to leave trail
> Tank crew's voices getting faint but I'm sure they're following
> Start aiming for the possible daemonhost heretic's heels with laspistol ballistic mechadendrite
>Be ordo chronos inquisitor [REDACTED].
>Found the anomaly I was looking for.
>Along with my old friend Yuri, though he doesn’t seam to know me yet.
>The anomaly then throws down a grenade, kidnaps Yuri and rushes down the tunnels.
>This is bad.
>In all my adventures with Yuri he never once mentioned meeting me like this, meaning 1 of 3 things:
1. He was too gonged out to remember this day.
2. This is a new timeline.
3. He was protecting me from knowing my own destiny.
>Of course Zeta-23 being Zeta-23 he immediately rushes after him leaving me behind.

>I rush over him with Yuri’s original crew from the Attrix VIII campaign.
>Meaning that this is pre—
>See a group of Tempestus Scions ahead of us.
>Pull out personal vox and tell there leader secret code: “Absolvo Chrono”
>He should know what that means.

It a special code known only by Tempestus Scions and Ordo Chronos inquisitors. It’s basically a really quick way of saying: “Hello, I am from the Ordo Chronos. This is time travel stuff. DO NOT ask any questions. Just do whatever I say.
File: maxresdefault.jpg (74 KB, 1280x720)
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> Be me, Dhuri Jahell, booking it
> It seems that every fucking person in the Star Imperium is chasing me into these tunnels
> I turn back to a red robed man chasing me
> "Can't a man be allowed his vengeance, you damn robot wizard?" i shout
> I reach a turn in the tunnels
> I can hear the wizard not far behind me
> A storm of stomping feet ahead of me
> FinalStandTime.blood
> My Chained sword in my only hand, i prepare to spend my life dearly
> WarpExMachina.chaos
> The roof explodes, and blood red soldiers descend from above, their skin covered with horns and radiating with a subtle golden light
> "Protect the prophet" they say
> Huh? I am no prophet.
> Sergeant and I am lifted out of the hole by magical force
> I take the limp body and collapse a few dozen yards from the hole
> My head racing, pounding, echoing
> I see the great prophet of old, who introduced the spice to my people
> ItWasMe.warp
> I see the messiah figure that introduced us to the Blood Pact in the first place
> ItWasMe.warp
> I look over to the Asur's gate and see a djinni, radiant in it's form, glowing with ethereal light
> ByAllTheSpiritsItsFuckingMe.warp
> my soldiers are now killing each other, split between my lieutenant and this false(?) version of myself
> It even has some imperials on its side
> "What have I done?" I say, as unbeknownst to me the Sergeants eyes begin to flicker open
File: summer valhallan.png (786 KB, 841x841)
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I actually painted my Catachans as Soviet VDV in Afghanistan, and use them as Valhallans. I call them summer Valhallans.
>Be Ordo Chronos Inquisitor [Redacted].
>Finally catch up to the tech Priest.
>The anomaly is surrounded by Scions.
>No where to run.
>Suddenly a temporal rift opens above him, and his followers from the future decend out to protect him.
>Apparently they are also engaged in a civil war with each other and there past selves?
>Pull out my [Data Expunged].
Predestination, with a causality loop, ontop of multiple versions of himself from across different timelines, [Redacted], [Censored by His holy Ordos], [Censored], [Censored], [Data Purged], [Information Deleted], Causing his own existence, On a planet that’s chronological unstable, and fueled by drugs from a future version of a past god!?
>This man is a literally walking paradox.
>He’s basically shredding the timeline just by being here at this point.
>Have no other option.

[File Corrupted]
> Be Zeta-23
> Hot on the heels of the spiceman, who is calling me a robot wizard
> I am a cyborg priest, but what do you expect from heretics
> We're almost to Scions, pretty sure
> Spiceman stops and readies his chainsword
> Oh shit
> I might have cybernetic legs but he's almost certainly faster with weapons
> Start moving mechadendrites to attack
> The roof explodes and he fucks off onto the surface with some weird red guys
> ...
> There's a bunch of variations of him and his soldiers apparently fighting each other up there
> Think I see him drop Yuri
> Think I see Yuri moving?
> Almost jump out of my cybermantle when I realise cogitator guy from the cave also caught up somehow
> He doesn't appear to be a xenos or a heretic or anything at least
> He's looking shocked at the scene
> Ask him what's happening or, failing that, who I am supposed to be shooting to get Yuri back
> Also ask why my cybernetic databank is apparently back to magos access level after everything went weird in the cave
> Not that I'm complaining
> He seems busy being shocked and pulls out a device I don't recognise
> Hope he's not a heretek and that he's about to do something helpful
>>86100307 accidentally (you)'d the summer vallhallans instead of >>86100185
looks good
File: Spaghet.png (314 KB, 394x394)
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>Be plasma gun
>Things have gotten really weird
>Still killing the Blood Pact, but even I can feel that some sort of rift has opened up
>Feel master's hands stiffen as he drops me
>Feel his body thud next to me, but he's still moving
>Hear him in agony
>Did he get hit by return fire?
>Autogun and lasgun wounds don't make bubbling sounds
>Hear one of his squad mates trying to check him over yell "your neck! What in the warp is going on!?"
>Hear a bursting sound and feel some warm liquids land on me
>Definitely blood, but something else
>As it's sizzling, I can hear screaming in my mind
>Recognize the voice of the screams
>Can feel fervent squirming on my frame
>Can hear pained yells and groans from master, but the screaming from the worms is louder
>Master screams in more pain
>The worms on my frame died from my venting, but master needs help!
>Can't move and don't even know what to shoot
>I don't care if this "Alk" guy helped out master, I'll engulf him in my hottest plasma for making him suffer like this
>Master, please don't die
File: wakeup.gif (90 KB, 220x214)
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> Be me, Dhuri Jahell
> Everything has gone to shit
> I'm questioning the both the faith I have now and the one I used to have
> I'm a one armed man
> I will bleed to death imminently
> …If coming down from all that spice doesn't crash me first
> The Sergeant is stirring, but taking too long
> "Wake up, fool!" I say
> "I am Dhuri Jahell, child of this world. You are my enemy. You are the Imperium that takes this land from my people. That brings your infidel emperor-god! That doesn't look behind when they reverse their iron-cars! Wake and stand so that I may face you in glorious combat. Take you sword that I might kill you!"
> Or, I consider, that you might kill me

>Be me.
>Sergeant Yuri.
>Zeta-23 is shaking me awake.
[Groan] “What happened?”
“You pulled me out of the sinking tank with the help of your gunner and then passed out.” He says.
“I… did?” I ask
>That sounds familiar but… I feel like I’m forgetting something.
>Wasn’t there… something after that?
>Haven’t I done this before?
>Wasn’t there… someone else here?
>Or… no. A guy who… unnnngh
>It’s hard to think.
“You alright Yuri?” Zeta-23 asks “you don’t look so good.”
“I… I think I’m ok it just… never mind I don’t think it matters…”
>I look at my crew.
>They all have all there arms.
>There’s no strangely dressed man with a weird cogitator.
“Come on, apparently somethings happening on the surface, it’s best to get out of here. I also picked up the signal of a damaged Skitarii somewhere in here.”
“I… alright let’s get moving… I guess…”
>Something doesn’t feel right… but hopefully it’s nothing.
We Literally posted at the same time. Ha ha ha.
> Be me, Dhuri, you know the rest
> Good news; Sergeant is awake and about
> Bad news: he is hallucinating
> He thinks I am the robot wizard
> This is no good, he must be in full control of his senses if our righteous duel is to have any meaning
> He looks around for something, who knows what
> He stumbles in the direction of the cateclysm with the other me
> NoNoNo.bad
Hey it's authentic battle tactics to irl too.
>Be Ordo Chronos inquisitor [Redacted]
>Haven’t actually activated device yet.
>”Zeta-23 If we somehow survive this I want you to make a promise.”
>”Don’t go to Thass 8.”
NOW I activate the device.

file corrupted
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>Walking down tunnel when suddenly Zeta-23 grabs me.
“What’s wrong?”
“Listen, you should probably know tha—“

>He suddenly slaps me and I see the one armed heretic with glowing eyes that wants to kill me.
“Come on you Star Imperium Scum. I want my fight!”
>He shouts his breath smelling awful.
>Be Ordo Chronos Inquisitor [Redacted]
>Timeline has been reset to a relatively stable point.
>No more conflicting timelines or people causing their own existences.
>The god is back in his prison until the next eclipse.
>Yuri and Zeta-23 should wake up with little or no memory of this.
>At least one version of the anomaly escaped the reset but he shouldn’t be a walking paradox with three versions of himself anymore.
>Not sure how much he’ll remember given how much of that time travel drug he inhaled.
>Things should be more or less back to normal timeline wise.
>All in a days work for the Ordo chronos.
>Be me
>Tempestor Prime Venenatus.
>Was chasing the fucker who maimed with a grenade in the tunnels until I received new directives from the Ordo Chronos
>Now I must find that Inquisitor and help with what ever is going with space time
>In one of the tunnels find a platoon of Valhallans and Zeta fighting some blood pacts
>One of the Valhallan with a plasma gun look like a dead man walking
>Behind them a strange man with inquisition insignia is standing with a cogitator
>It's him
Lord Inquisitor. I am Tempestor Prime Venenatus. You have requested m-
>The plasma gunner falls on the ground convulsing, his hands on his neck.
>His neck is ripped open by sandworm larvas
>His plasma seems moving toward him, overheating to burn the larvae
>But at this rate the gun will it's owner by overheating
>The screams that he manage to hurl out of his mouth are almost haunting, like if he regained some lost consciousness
>Drop my chainsword and clumsilly take my hellpistol
>Shoot the larvae left
>Look back at the poor gunner convulsing on the ground
>Shoot him in the head
>That was really ugly and I did my fair share of mercy kill.
>I feel kinda hollow
>What is going with me since I lost my arm?
>I feel like a different person
>One of the valhallan tells me that he was scratching since the destruction of the eldar tower
>And he was still fighting in the name of the Emperor all that time?
>Turn back to the inquisitor
>He his talking to Zeta
>He then presses a button on his cogitator
>I suddenly feel much weaker and tired...
>Grab the wound of where my left arm was
Lord Inquisitor?
>He turns himself back to me
I will be calling my men. Lead them if you need, I am in no position to.
>steady myself by putting my back on the wall and slowly glide down
They should be here in a few minutes if eh... times flows correctly.
Hey Zeta? Take my chainsword you might need it more than me right now
>Proceed to launch an emergency signal with my vox caster

>Be Ace lightning pilot Tiff.
>Currently flying a Valkyrie down to the surface of (whatever this planet is called) to evacuate whoever I can before the giant army of sand worm arrives at the ruins everyone is fighting in.
>Suddenly get massive headache.
>I’m now in my lightning again.
>I… what happened?
>Did any of that happen?
>Call Captain Viddral to see if he remembers giving an order to evacuate? Or if the worms are still coming?
> Be Zeta-23
> On floor again for some reason
> Not even in a vehicle
> And I have a chainsword now
> Okay.jpg
> Not sure what's been happening
> File missing
> File missing
> Don't go to Vass 8
> File missing
> What
> Try to gather myself
> Emergency signal on vox, apparently scions are incoming
> Valhallans are fighting blood pact
> Oh shit blood pact
> Sit up and start firing laspistol mecadendrites
> We appear to be finally winning
> Still, ready chainsword in case any get close
> Ask nearest Valhallan where the fuck Yuri is
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>I don’t know what’s happening any more.
>This guy is shaking me.
>As he touches me and breaths his drugs in my face I feel myself splitting.
>See different me’s in different lives.
>In one he was never there.
>In another we are fighting.
>But I’m not much of a dualist.
>My stomach hurts.
>Oh I see, that’s because he cut me open.
>My legs are gone.
>He stands triumphant.
>Then cuts off my head.

>I open my eyes.
>Im alive.
>Zeta-23 is standing over me firing at… something.
>Too tired.
>Head hurts.

>Wonder if he sees me.
File: 1466547044052.jpg (203 KB, 498x1493)
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>Be plasma gun, Ryza-pattern, designation "H07-D4WG"
>This can't be happening, not again
>Master keeps screaming and I can't do anything
>Can feel the pain in his voice
>Hear some shots accompanied by popping and silence of the worms
>Master is still screaming
>Try venting my heat towards the ground in his direction to melt it and slowly slide over there
>Hear a las shot go off
>Stop hearing master
>Feel a surge of emotions
>Sadness, anger, confusion, and everything else that's not positive
>Feel heat building up
>Someone grabs me, and I hear that voice talk to me again, from a distance
>The voice that offered to save master
>The voice that gave him these worms
>The voice that took my master
>Can't hold it anymore
>Find the strength to activate without waiting for my trigger to be pulled
>Unleash my anguish upon the voice
>Leaking heat through my vents in sadness as I fire with the fury of a supernova
>Hear more suffering from the Blood Pact as I let loose my agony
>My service with my master and masters before him flash before me as I fire
>Good times and bad
>Close calls and last calls
>If master dies, you're all dying too
> Be Zeta-23
> See that active machine spirit plasma gun look like it's going nova
> Duck and cover
> Oh, Yuri is right here
> Still disoriented
> No blue explosion
> Look up again
> Plasma gun seems to be venting aggressively and firing on its own
> It is noosphereically screaming about vengeance
> And it... really should be out of ammo again by now
> By the omnissiah, this is a new holy tech-relic
> Better make sure the Valhallans secure it
> Not that it's going to let the last few Blood Pact take it, but I worry it might not take well to being snatched up by the scions
> Help Yuri up, ignoring his protests
> Point him at the blood pact and the plasma gun
> We need to kill those guys and get that gun back
> Leave him in cover until he can move under his own power
> Advance with chainsword and mechadendrite pistols, swinging utility mechadendrite defensively
> Cut down a couple of blood pacters who are fighting guardsmen and the line starts to advance a little as they help those next to them
> End up just out of venting range of plasma gun
> It's still firing
> Get ready to apply unguents to gun as soon as Blood Pact are gone
> Need to soothe the machine-spirit before it can be secured
>be Captain Viddral
>a pilot called Tiff is asking me to confirm evacuation order
>send confirmation
>also wants to know if the worms are still on target?
>I check, they’re going in the other direction now
>tell him they’re not
>didn’t he dock with me to change craft?
>order a search for him on the ship, how did he know about the worms?
>order the crew to keep an eye on that craft and make sure the commissar is aware of the issue
>be alk’vulht’lakkem
>leave all the arguments going on on one pole of the planet and start forming a new body at the other
>only a few people here >>86059523
>someone >>86056859 has left some paper with some sort of pact
>seems to recognise me as being the ruler of this planet and requests a gift of resources, psychics and that I not be their enemy
>fair enough, I accept their prayers.
>inform whoever is listening in any manner that I can that I accept the office of governor and freely offer them my spice
>should probably help those people who were in the webway
>open the planet to the webway, the mortals can sort it out
>Be Felinid merc captain Scarlett.
>Be fighting Blood Pack in the ruins of the Eldar base.
>I’m now fighting Blood Pack in some tunnels.
>Wait… wasn’t I ju—
>No time, gotta focus.
>Yuri is here, but he seams really out of it.
>Mumbling something to himself but I can’t make it out.
>Zeta-23 is charging the enemy guns blazing, I give him some cover shooting the traitors he can’t see.
>Just then a portal opens next to me.
>Is that Sasha?
And fuck Grand too
>Be Ace lightning pilot Tiff.
>Captain Viddral says the worms are still coming and we still have to evacuate.
>Fuuuuuuuck, now I gotta fill out all those aircraft transfer and evac request forms all over again.
>This whole battle has just been too much.
>So confusing.
>Only bright side is once we get everyone out of here, it’ll all be over and I can finally get some sleep.
>Turn around AGAIN and head back.

Also Captain seams to think I’m a male, guess he doesn’t know “Tiff” is short for “Tiffany”.

It's actually short for Tiffothy
> Be Zeta-23
> Still in the middle of firefight
> Felinids are here now and adding to our firepower
> Shoot a pair of heretics trying to reload a heavy stubber
> Full systems still coming back online
> Long range vox.exe
> Hear Viddral confused about worms and Tiff's aircraft on vox, the worms are fucking off apparently
> There is a new Governer offering everybody spice
> What
> Hope that's just how they offer hospitality on this planet given the warpy seeming superpowers bullshit
> Plasma gun still going
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>be me
>gue'vesa unit assigned to help liberate Imperium world
>sad to leave universal basic Tau earth caste waifu
>but eager to bring Greater Good to other humans
>land on planet
>meet humans raised outside the Greater Good for the first time
>they're all xenophobic bigots
>can't understand why Tau technology is superior
>they cower from battlesuits
>most of the PDF comes over to join us after years of water caste influence
>have to spend weeks digging the last Imperial Guard fanatics out of their bunkers
>most commit suicide or make suicidal final attacks
>settle in for garrison duty
>tfw awaiting my blueberry waifu joining me in garrison duty
I assume he’s on another planet since this one is going to be some weird C’tan/demon world hybrid in the time frame he speaks of.
That or the tau are about to get a very significant problem.vmw0dm
Yes. There is not enough people keep the thread barely afloat and everyone is wrapping up.

>Be Ace lightning pilot Tiff.
>Because I literally just did it, I managed to fill out the aircraft switch forms in record time, get in my new Valkyrie, and make my way down to the surface.
>On the way down I see Tau landing.
>I say the commies can have this world.
>Too much wired stuff happens here, plus this place is gonna be over run by worms anyway.
>And possibly Tyranids to at some point because why not?
>I park it near the lip of the crater by the Scions and get on the vox telling everyone that they should evacuate RIGHT NOW if they want to leave.
>Now I just have to wait to see who’s smart enough to bail on this sinking ship.
>Be me.
>New Leader of Blood Jihad.
>Am getting ready to finally charge the retched mutant female and have our final duel where I will prove victorious!
>Suddenly she disappears.
>Yell in rage so loud the buildings around me crack.
>Suddenly hear something.
>More newcomers have arrived.
>These ones naive and wearing armor the color of the desert.
>I charge them swift as a storm with my army of faithful at my back.

>Be me
>Tempestor Prime Venenatus.
>The rest of my troop finally came out the tunnel.
>They want to evacuate me first.
>Push them back.
>I still have work to do here?
>Get inject a high dose of painkillers where my left arm and eye were.
>Ask for my command rod while holstering my hellpistol.
Zeta! Get your friend over here, there is a medic for him! Grab the Holy Plasma Gun Relic! We are living !
>Leave the tunnels and notice some valhallans that I were sure went to the webway...
>Get into valkyrie with several other wounded and Zeta.
>There seems to be a presence of newly arrived T'au now.
>We should just glass them from orbit.
>If the Blood Pact does not the job done.
>One Tempestor tells me about a new governor handing out drugs.
>Where is the old one?
>Did he swear fealty to Terra ?
>I swear to the God-Emperor we should just glass the entirety of this hellhole.
>Kill him then order exterminatus.
>Orks, eldars, heretics, a false god in one the moons, and rumors of tyrannids coming...
>Talk about it with Magos Zeta.
>We need to consult with the rest of the generals and admirals about this.
>I also tell him about commending this tank sergeant that made diversion for the blood pact.
>As for the plasmagun it is a different pattern than the one we use in the tempestus.
>Maybe Zeta can find him a good owner.
>As for the previous one I am pretty the adeptus biologis will claim his cadaver to study what happened to him.
>Now that this is over, I need a mechanical arm and a new eye.
>be alk’vulht’lakkem
>lots of people leaving
>a new species of worshippers arriving
>those followers of the blood god are attacking them
>one of the mortals did something with time so I can’t do certain stuff even if I use the webway
>cause lots of spice to full the air around the new arrivals
>maybe they’re the ones who asked me to be governor
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>Still don’t feel well.
“I recognize your footsteps old man.”
>Feel someone grab me and put me over there shoulder.
>Slipping in and out of consciousness.
>We’re moving.
>Someone has me over there shoulders while they climb up a cliff side with a rope.
>Hear a Valkyrie’s engines.
>See my crew, and the Felinid mercs around me.

>After some time passes (not sure how much) we eventually take off.
>Watch as the Eldar base is swallowed by the worms.
“Bless the Emperor and His guardsmen.” Someone says “Bless the coming and going of Him. May his passage cleans the world…”

>Pass out again… but atleast I know I’m safe.

I would like to thank everyone who took part in this. I couldn’t have made this story without you. See you next time.
> Be Zeta-23
> Talking with Tempestor prime
> Tau are landing, Blood Pact fighting them, governer is an unknown quantity, we're evacuating, Yuri's getting a commendation
> People even made it out of the webway somehow
> Anoint plasma gun, grab it as it cools, and run to Valkyries
> Have to help pilot with counter-tau-sensor baffling for a bit but then go into passenger area, see passed out Yuri
> As the de facto commander of the regiment, he should be the one to decide what to do with the plasma gun
> Leave it on his lap
> Since it doesn't vent at him, that's a good sign
> Wonder where Thass-8 is and why I'm not supposed to go there
> Enter recuperation cycle, allow subsystems to worry about it

til next time lads
>Be felinid merc captain Scarlett.
>Get word over the vox that sand worms and Tau are coming and it’s time to leave.
>Tell Zeta it’s time to go but he’s insistent on grabbing a plasma gun for Yuri.
>My mercs cover him while he grabs it.
>I also grab Sasha out of the Webway since she makes good tea.
>One of Yuri’s crew caries him on his shoulders to the evac point.
>The gunner I think.
>Along the way we also find a damaged Skitarii I make Nyan Mc Fluffy carry them out.
>We cover everyone’s retreat and some how make it to the Valkyrie alright.
>Yuri is alive but still out of it.
>Zeta also seams alright but is wondering about Tharss 8 for some reason. Don’t know why he’d ever want to go there.

>Another difficult job my team managed to survive.
>With this done we can finally get payed.
>MFW I Realize this also means we’ll probably get assigned more difficult jobs in the future since we keep succeeding at them.
>Fuck my life.

It was fun doing this again. See you next time. ~nyan

>Be plasma gun, Ryza-pattern, designation "H07-D4WG"
>Keep trying to fire, but find myself beyond spent
>As I let out my last strike of anger, I feel cooling unguents upon my frame, accompanied by the familiar binary of the enginseer
>Gain a sense of calm as I hear one of the scions say that he's got master's remains
>The enginseer cradles me as we all start heading towards evacuation
>Still sad, but happy that master's body won't be desecrated by these traitors and xenos
>Also glad that the enginseer and Sergeant Yuri are ok
>Speaking of, the enginseer placed me on Sergeant Yuri's lap
>Feel a sense of calm, as I remember the day Sergeant Yuri first assigned me to master
>Know that I am in good hands

>As I am about to enter dormancy, I feel an extremely hairy appendage poke me
>Hear something that sounds like "nya?" as its grasp becomes more encompassing
>Is this one of those Felinid troopers we were fighting alongside?
>I'd rather not be handled by a stranger, so I vent a bit in the trooper's direction
>It, I think a "she", quickly releases me with a yelp
>Finally begin to enter dormancy once more
>Maybe I'll see master Andrei once more in my dreams...

Second time I got to actually partake in one of these. First time I was able to see it through to the end. Thanks for the fun, everyone!
>Be me.
>Ace lightning pilot Tiff.
>Everyone important seams to be on my Valkyrie.
>The tech priest, the Tempestus Scions the felinids and there leader, the Valhallans with there leader were all here.
>The ground begins to shake just as I start the engine, no time to close the ramp.
>Take off.
>A bunch of Tau Orcas start rushing past us to land in the city seaming not to notice or care about the quakes.
>Get a nice view of the Eldar structures and Tau orcas getting swallowed by the sand worms.
>Close the ramp.
>Tech priest helps make it so the Tau can’t target us.
>We break atmosphere no problem and finally make it into space leaving that desert waistband behind for someone else to fight over.
>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>That worked out much better than expected
>Somehow my random wanderings through the Webway lead me to a different location on the same planet that was conveniently nearby some of the more competent members of my regiment and Scarlett's mercenaries
>Pretty sure the universe is just toying with me at this point
>Well screw you universe, nothing can disrupt by slothful cynicism for long
>Get in brief firefight with Khornates as we withdraw from the tunnels
>Apparently High Command has deemed this planet a lost cause
>We get to the Valkyries just as a new wave of sand worms starts destroying everything
>Hear rumors that Tau and Tyranids are arriving soon
>Nothing really surprises me at this point, so don't really care
>Hopefully there will be tanna on our transport ship...
>Be me
>Tempestor Prime Venenatus.
>Got a new arm and eye.
>Everyone made it back safely aboard their respective ship.
>I lost a third of my men in this mess and a quarter of our vehicles.
>Made my goodbyed to Magos Zeta and the Arm Master of House Pallas.
>Left as the planet was being subjected to bombardment.
>My lord, the High Inquisitor Greger Von Rosen, understood that the situation was too dire and held nothing valuable to him.
>He was not be happy and sent me on another mission to find some "bio weapon that could wipe easily non-humans".
>Him and his crazy super weapons...
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>Be Squat.
>Find a desert world rich in mineral resources.
>Also huge mega fauna.
>Don’t even bother sending down anyone.
>Just swallow the world wholesale in our planetary strip miner.

Leagues of Votann Wins
>be Captain Viddral
>everyone seems to be evacuated
>tau are moving in for some reason
>ships are too large and too numerous to fight
>as I’m leaving a Votann vessel comes by and deals with that whole situation for us
>clearly they’re doing the Emperor’s work
>thank them for their help and enter the warp
>next stop Thass-8
>be alk’vulht’lakkem
>planet is getting eaten by some huge ship
>looks like it’s about to eat the moon and set that C’tan free
>time to gtfo
see you all some other time possibly on Tharss 8 where we can learn what wasn’t meant to happen
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I thought Quest threads weren't allowed on /tg/.
Define “quest threads”
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> be Zeta-23
>>next stop Thass-8
> pic related
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>Be plasma gun
>On Sergeant Yuri's lap
>Pic related
Your quite welcome Zeta-23
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>Be Scarlett
>Finally get payed
>Pic related
>Be Kriegsman.
>Finally forgiven.
>Get to dig warp trenches around Terra.
How do I know when one of these is going on? How often do they occur?
there isn't a set schedule or anything, checking the catalogue is about it
>Be me, now adequately middle-management Administrutm clerk
>Going through ancient reports that were meant to be looked over by my predecessor four times over.
>somehow someone misfiled a recent action report
>Aftger calming my nerves over a swing of my department-approved hidden Amasec flask, I read over the report and feel a dread I had not felt since--
>This is another fucking Cold Shoulder Incident, but this time with Valhallans on desert planet and all other manners of absolute fucking zaniness.
>Time to file a bunch of new fucking orders to fix this fucking mess again.

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