>>83078466
Khorne would fare far better than naysayers assume. I'm not talking about terrorist LARPers. Consider the amount of retail workers who've already fallen.

>>83078466
well it depends on what a people desire
>moronic utopians, or shizo conspiracy pawns go for tzeentch
>people who want peace, and politeness over all go to nurgle
>people who want just hurt the others or some sort of justice go to khorne
>people who are hedonist, and individualist go slaneesh


you could honestly make a map out of this.
the problem is that most countries wouldnt falll behind just one.
wouldnt be a bad premise for an campaign....

>>83078466
Nothing really changes. Have you been paying attention minimum, the last two years?

>>83079385
Nurgle is more people who are afraid of change

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>>83082899
>Implying Nurgle cultists haven't popped up all over the west for the antivax/antimask movement

>>83083060
The Covidians tell you to be upset, get used to being upset, deprive your children of basic human interaction, and half your facial expressions. They are the exact embodiment of Nurgle values.

>>83078466
I didn't know that Tzeentch was a Hebrew name but everything makes sense now.

The Nobody would make them BTFO, the guy's basically the Emperor.

/X/phile here

>>83083113
>The people trying to stop the spread of disease are nurglites.
Nobody is buying it, cultist-san

>>83078466
Nurgle seems appealing in a "I don't wanna die" way, but most people are too image conscious or queasy to take the plunge into an existence of plague.
Khorne brings in fewer people, but between their already impressive number of improvised/illegal weapons and his blessings, they're fairly hard to stamp out.
Tzeentch basically takes the entire world's government by telling them how superior and intelligent they are. Since a good deal are already in some form of "totally awesome secret society that definitely matters in some way and isn't just for getting drunk" they'd be pretty easy to convince.
Slaanesh is the clear winner though, because if this site alone is an indicator, humankind is desperately hedonistic. Realistically, how many religious people actually give up the vices they enjoy, even when their spiritual leaders specifically tell them to? And then apply that on a global scale with magic that actually makes pleasure even more enjoyable.

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>>83083181
>STOP BEING SUCH A BIOTERRORIST AND LET BIG PHARMA INJECT PRION GENERATING RNA INTO YOU RIGHT NOW

>>83083442
Between central africa and india, Nurgle would be a global contender in a very short order.

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>>83078466
Go to your average club, stoner-festival, pride parade or party mile and you´ll know that the pink dude will have a field day. Humans love hedonism. Put some free sex into the mix (Slannesh usually does that) and you also get all the coomers and desperate incels

>>83083181
A conspiracy as such a scale as the covid nonsense must be the work of Tzeentch.

How anyone can still believe that Covid is dangerous enough for shutdowns in beyond me, it has to be a conscious unwillingness to stand up to the group.

>>83078466
Can I join the Nurgle cult?

>>83085573
there are no available hospital beds, bud.

>>83085423
One berserker is worth half a dozen coomers, bare minimum. The problem is that there's a 1:30 ratio.

>>83078466
do you not realise how many coomers there now are on this planet? we'd probably be able to summon a manifestation of slaanesh

>>83085628
I went to a hospital three days ago to get some bloodwork done at their clinic, the ER had its entire fleet of covid chairs sitting there doing nothing. No sign of outbreak at all. Patients being checked in easily, plenty of spare rooms.

Went to the hospital ER myself five months ago cause it was 3am on saturday and I needed anti-biotics, entire fleet of chairs was there just like they are now. Got a hospital bed just fine.

>>83085628
Not true

Khorne triggers a nuclear war
The end.

I join Tzeenchads. No, I don't care about the consequences.
Trust the Plan.

>>83079340
>Consider the amount of retail workers who've already fallen.
I wouldn't last a day without immediately falling and giving in to Khorne.
t. tech support

>>83078466
> Slannesh cult finds /d/
> Ladyboy god steamrolls

>hate working retail and would love to provide Khorne skulls of customers
>become apathetic to covid outbreaks and would probably give into Nurgle’s despair
>fap too excessivelt and could fall to Slaanesh
Ideally, I’d just try to find a Chaos Undivider cult but realistically I’m falling to Nurgle or Slaanesh

>>83078466
Probably Khorne, there's too many reasons (excuses) for inter-racial / religious/ political/ etc., hatred to exist.
Personally, I'd go for Malal/ Malice, but that's because I want to end everything.

>>83083060
WHO and CDC say masks don't do anything now, stop denying science and take that mask off.

>>83088908
Im pretty sure they still swear by the N95.

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>>83079340
> Consider the amount of retail workers who've already fallen.
Think of the postal workers!

>>83085299
With the west too busy with Slaaneshi orgies to send food, the African population will nosedive.

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>>83078466
All you have to do is spend 30 seconds on TikTok or the internet in general to know that Slannash is winning by miles.

Covid is just nurgle’s last ditch effort to avoid the dying of the light.

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>>83085797
> Went to the hospital ER myself five months ago cause it was 3am on saturday and I needed anti-biotics
Da fuck, dude. Use urgent care for that shot. Leave the ER bills alone. Wasteful and expensive maneuver.

>>83085821
>implying
No, Khorne would sponsor a few million mass shootings and stabbings. Existentially, he's the least dangerous chaos god.

>>83078466
Not well, given that magic isn't real.
Probably a few hundred people kill themselves trying to achieve "demonhood" Jamestown style.

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>>83091125

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>>83091125
> Not well, given that magic isn't real.
Autist detected

>>83085821
>Khorne
>nuclear war
>Everyone is incinerated and leaves no blood or skulls to collect
>No martial skill is displayed beyond pushing a button
This must be the work of Tzeench

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>>83078466
All of them. No point for the great game if one of them just steamrolls it.

>>83092706
>key cleaner
Kek

>>83090437
>no other diseases exists anymore
Im genuinely wondering how short our attention spans are. Just the other day i had to explain to someone how second hand smoke is because they said smoking was only harmful to the individual.

>>83092753
>>no other diseases exists anymore
That's Nurgle's long game plan. All this social distancing, staying home and sanitizing your hands constantly just ruins our collective immunity to all the common shit while giving way for superbacterias.

>everyone knows how bad drugs are
>multiple nations still have widespread drug crisis, with countless people ruining their lives for a shot or a snort
You cant convince me the very same would happen with Slannesh, even if people knew how bad it would fuck them up.

>>83090145
Perfect breeding ground for khorne and nurgle.

>>83092781
>so you're tellin' me if I sell my soul to slaanesh, I get-
>YOU GET TORTURED! I'M TELLING YOU MAN IT'S A BAD IDEA
>yeah, yeah but I get free molly, right?
>YES BUT-
>see you around

>>83090437
Who is she?

>she?

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>>83093350

>>83089648
they're pushing the china version of it now, so 100% tzeentchian bullshit

>>83083442
> Realistically, how many religious people actually give up the vices they enjoy, even when their spiritual leaders specifically tell them to?

“Jews don't recognize Jesus as the son of God, Protestants don't recognize the Pope, and Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.”

>>83093359
You don't recognize Mia Khalifa?

>>83078466
I think all 4 would have a great time in America

>>83093952
Why should he recognize an overrated roastie from reddit?

>>83093952
Just looks like some 5/10 indian chick to me. Dunno who that is.

>>83093952
Isn't she the arab lady that got BTFO'd and banned from the middle east?

>>83083060
>bro wear a mask it helps
>every mask that isnt n99 p100 and NBC masks dont do shit just is meant to keep retards doing normal things and not panic
>no one uses n99 p100s or nbc masks because they either look like gas masks or are gas masks and instead use shit like neck gaiters that you can physically see through
>get vaxxed bro
>official vaccine reports show its ineffective and that a drug promoted by joe fucking rogan is more effective at combating the virus
>the vax is promoted by the same dude that promoted azt and fought against bringing in other aids meds
>the vax also is way more expensive and a better money maker for pharma companies then ivermectin
dude I was a firm wear a mask dont go outside guy until the riots happened and all those doctors told everyone that rioting doesnt increase the spread of the virus
if you cant tell by now that the people promoting all this shit just want to make money at our expense and dont give a flying fuck about your health I dont know how I can convince you otherwise

>>83079385
>Nurgle
>Peace
They only peace you are going to get is the peace of the grave after your body rots into mush.

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>>83078466
Nurgle and Khorne probably wouldn't get nearly as big as you might expect, just because chainsaw murder and weeping sores are a pretty intense casual filter. Would YOU want to work with/look like pic related?

Tzeentch would probably get the biggest because the downtrodden masses would get attached to the hope and change parts of his portfolio, and the pedos who run the world would relate to the 5D scheming. Only reason Slaanesh isn't down there with the other two is the sheer number of coomers out there.

It would be a fun geopolitical map. Africa, Middle East, and Latin America would be practically kind of a competition between different Khorne affiliated cults trying to cause as much slaughter against their enemies. With the certain rise of antibiotic resistant diseases that science keeps predicting in the future, I could see Nurgle wreaking havoc across the world because as bad as covid like the media plays it out is it can still be fought off by mundane medical practices like with the vaccines, booster shot, and in discussion currently, covid pills(supposedly).

Isolated Slaaneshi community cults something similar to the Finders growing in many developed parts of the world, mostly in America, Canada, Britain, Australia, and Japan. I could definitely see many if not all trafficking

Tzeentch starts to get into many higher layers of academia and starts some Stalker tier anomaly shit all throughout the world. Some people in the scientific world will try to explain away as just being mass delusions and there will also be a huge number of people gaining "magical abilities" or freaky body horror mutations. Tzeentch could further solidify his influence by creeping into many bigger technological companies implementing some huge ambitious projects like with Metaverse or whatever the fuck Elon Musk is trying to do, but more immediate and appealing to everyone.

>>83078466
Khorne is basically YHWH

>>83094050
1. Consider he's asking for a name, she's probably his type, and of this type she's one of the most famous pornstars.
2. >>83095999 yes, and yet her videos are very popular there. Lots of memes about that.

Chaos undivided would most likely win.

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>>83098160

>>83098160
What about all the plagues he sent?

What about all the schemes he set up?

>>83097303
>a pretty intense casual filter
Depends how quickly the cult goes off the deep end. Remember, cults are good at infiltrating Imperial societies, it often takes a while before people start mutating, and as an added advantage, no one on Earth even knows they exist, so they can be fairly open in their recruitment without worrying some Inquisitor will recognize certain obvious patterns.

Khorne will probably spread via semi-secret fight clubs, as well as infiltrate various extremist groups, and push them to be gradually more violent, which in turn would push other people to join rival extremist groups.

Nurgle would probably release a plague, then set up some pseudo-religious cult whose followers (at first) seem 100% immune to the plague (and only develop nasty side effects later)

>>83078466
>Tzeentch takes over Israel
>Nurgle takes over India
>Khorne takes over Russia
>Slaanesh takes over USA

>>83096119
> Implying that you will die if you believe in Gramps and your body is blessed by becoming mush

>>83102144
Not bad

>>83101870
Hahaha, imagine the neckbeards desperately trying to convince their neighbors that the new self-help group down the road is a demonic cult. The pushback from people that recognized the signs is another interesting factor. As an example of what I mean by that, how would (You) respond to a blatant minor cult of your least favorite chaos god emerging in your neighborgood? Would GW send out a warning not to be involved with the cults or would they sue them for copyright violations?

>>83085299
>>83102144
>nurgle
>competing with the limitless allure of bob and vagene

>>83102642
>Would GW send out a warning not to be involved with the cults or would they sue them for copyright violations?
GW copyright claims are unironically our best hope against Chaos.

>>83104269
>implying something reliant on lawyers (aka Tzeentch's most beloved profession) and the legal system (aka Nurgle's most beloved institution) will be effective against Chaos

>>83098160
And yet his Chosen People are now the ultimate Tzeentchians.......
Interesting, huh?

>>83104378
The legal aspect is barely a factor, consider:

>>83104269
>GW makes a copyright claim on the bruvvers of khorne footie club
>two days later, a mob of red-faced norf FC fans, fresh from plundering gregg's and nonce bashing storm the building, overpower the security, and massacre everyone inside
>footage is leaked of them mutilating the dead and howling for blood pudding
>the london PD is sent in to contain the situation and are routed in a vicious street battle that's livestreamed across the globe
>a few of them are visibly mutated in a way that couldn't have been edited in grainy video quality at over twenty angles without a billion dollar budget and years of time
>before it's shut down, they're seen marching on the direction of buckingham palace

The sheer publicity would blow the situation wide-open. Then there's the problem of slaaneshi recruiting on ticktock. Shit would get bad.

>>83079340
>5 million retail workers go postal
Stapler's probably the best lethal weapon for an office.

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>>83104722
>they're seen marching on the direction of buckingham palace
We discover Queen Elizabeth's "New Phase". Golden armor and aquilas are involved.

>>83083551
Based retard

>>83078466
As anons have pointed out, Slaanesh wins by a landslide
>Coomers
>Furries
>Druggies
>Social media sheep
The last one is enough to secure the victory should a war break out by sheer numbers
Tzeench would however have the most control, most politicians and certainly the 1% and any silicon valley company execs would be team birb.
Nurgle, besides being the disease god in current year, would actually get most followers aside from Slaanesh I'd think. Any neet and wageslave would quickly find comfort in the grandfather. Despair is the name of the game, and Nurgle exploits that into turning that filthy apartment you hate into something you love.
Khorne would probably have a significant amount of power, but not enough to matter.

>>83093350
>The free molly comes entirely from other neckbeards who joined the cult for exactly the same reason.

>>83104722
>before it's shut down
How? They're fighting british police. It'll be a curbstomp not seen since the last time someone got into melee range with tau.

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>>83108820
>thinking molly is slang for man-ass
You must be 18 years or older to post

>>83108111
In all seriousness, how would the queen's guard fare against a mind-shatteringly berserk horde of 12-15k football hooligans sharpening their spoons and storming buckingham in broad daylight? What's the national response? Keep in mind there's 0 forewarning of their nature outside of a brief but massive spike in violence and rumors of radical revolutionary activity.

>>83109634
I'm talking about webcam footage. The bong government would be in full-kvetching mode fifteen minutes into the rampage.

>>83109831
>I'm talking about webcam footage.
They'd just cut off the IPs like they did with the manchester Truck Of Peace attack.

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But what if it backfired on Chaos?
What if exposure to our post-irony world twisted the Chaos Gods into something...else...

Into... ANIME GIRL V-TUBERS!!!

>>83109831
>In all seriousness, how would the queen's guard fare against a mind-shatteringly berserk horde of 12-15k football hooligans sharpening their spoons and storming buckingham in broad daylight? What's the national response? Keep in mind there's 0 forewarning of their nature outside of a brief but massive spike in violence and rumors of radical revolutionary activity.
They die. The queen either gets helicoptered out or also dies. The bong goverment takes the opportunity to justify passing the couple dozen fuck-your-rights bills they had waiting.

>>83109831
The royal family would be evac'd and a handful of guard die to hundreds of theirs before reinforcements arrive. There's no chance of a disorganized rabble cracking the palace in less than an hour.

>>83110787
>an elite modern infantry regiment in a brick and mortar palace can't stop 30 times their number in angry civilians
After the first few dozen their momentum would slow down and after a couple thousand the rest would scatter.

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>>83078466
>How do the cults
Going well so far.

>>83111497
>After the first few dozen their momentum would slow down and after a couple thousand the rest would scatter.
These are not your normal "disorganized rabble." These are a swarm of crazed, blood-thirsty cultists and probably a few packs of actual motherfucking mutants, too.

>>83111593
And? The Queen's Guard have bullpup assault rifles, carbines, and dozens of excellent vantage points to choose from. The mob are going to be armed with literal sticks and stones against a center of state crawling with the best soldiers Britain has to offer. Maybe some might have sporting equipment or improvised weapons and a handful of them stolen riot gear. That won't be enough. They'll get more grenades, tear gas, and MG suppressive fire than they can handle. 7.62 doesn't care if a cultist is angry or has an extra arm. They get shot, they're going down.

>>8307846
The real question is does the US gov go Chaos Undivided or have a civil war between Tzeentch and Slaanesh worshipers?

>>83111827
Having fancy dakka is irreverent if you aren't gonna use it.

>>83111827
Don't forget what happens when the blood gets flowing, friend

>>83112368
Daemons start showing up? Don't they need a lot more victims than a few norf FC fans and bobbies to attract anything really dangerous?

How about the Emperor and Omnissiah?

>>83112302
Most bongs worship the Queen, let alone the Queen's Guard. They would commit suicide if the old bat told them to.

>>83112368
>a few thousand regular humans
>enough to attract more than a bloodletter's passing interest