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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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Considering a new plague has made itself home in our hive of scub and vigilantry, I dediced to enter the ring. If the necrons can have their own fag, someone has to step up.

>Be me, a simple fuck.
>Buy a Dawn of War at age of 5 cuz mom is a fucking dorf who doesn't care
>Game Total Warhammer, Vermintide, Negromunda and the like.
>Become a big fan of Warhammer and 40k over the years, eat up everything out there safe for the books
>Just read wikia, cuz can't buy a good translation in my shithole 2nd world cuntry
>Arch Based
>fuck neckbeardia

>Nerd hard to the point of beeing a real life meme in the neighborhood and at all schools I attended.
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>WTF, I always tank tendies or a berger before sleep
>too lazy to make breakfast, okay?
>I try to roll out of bed
>Huh, I don't feel a temperature change
>Don't feel the bed itself for that matter
>Try to crack an eye open
>Noe goe
>Try to lift my arm to unclench the eyes

>Why do I feel like my arms all grow outta my ass?
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>I always liked some fleshmoulding bullshit
>shit, what if dark eldar are real
>Loose my shit, trying to flail around, every movement feels like taking minutes as if I am suspended in tar
>or cumjar
>more panick.png
>I fucking hit something with my head. At least I think it's my head,
>Shit calms me down as it feels like I hit a rock
>I hear crackling of bone as the pain makes me stop
>After a couple of what I think are minues I focus on the pain
>it radiates in a way that lets me assess my blind fucking shape

>why the fuck am I a six-legged dildo?
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>I find out that I also have some form of a tube connecting me to the thing I hit
>also, the wound feels pretty cold, as if somebody already passed me an ice bag.
>I start exploring, spending what feels like hours by grasping the big thing
>of course, the tube holding me breaks when I tug to rail myself in, apparently my legs are kindda sharp
>but the fact of me almost getting yeeted while getting a grip prooves it
>I'm a space nigga. It's not underwater cuz the wound wouldn't freeze there
>Start exploring as I map out the big thing in my imagination. It seems to be flaking and covered in pores I can ancor myself without problems.

>It's another rock dick in space but seems to be dead, with big parts of it missing. But now I do recognize the shape.
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>It's a fucking tyranid hiveship, left rotting in space
>And I am tiny compared to it
>I need to see this. Ussually a genestealer fan but shit is real
>Think, Anon. How the fuck to evolve eyes?
>Doesn't mean I am less hungry
>The carcrass itself is rot, sure nids can get cancer but not want to check for it.
>Aren't Hiveships supposed to know how to spawn creatures instinctively?
>I am trying to feel how I am made inside.
>It's all a monumental ammount of muscular tubes and tendrons lining the inside of the shell. The brain seems to be what I interpret as upper part of the body. Some of the tunnels and pathways inside are actually blocked by the walls closing due to fat.

>But the lower center of the ship is were the pathways go and what I was looking for.
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There is some potential in you but
1.I wonder how do you plan to have interesting plot with HiveAnon. Since Tyranids are rather simple-minded and well All factions hate them. I guess you colud try a Genestealer Cult.
2.Try to limit "reddit words" People will call you a fag.
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>It's some form of a spawning pool, I can tell by it bubbling. I can hear stuff when I concentrate on a part of the superbody
>Nids feed by creating infantry, having them OMNONOMNOM da cals and then come back to be dinner
>The hunger is getting unbearable, I am propably gonna have to eat some of the spoiled behemoth.
>I loose my shit as I am screaming through my mind, ending up to what feels like electicuting myself.
>I try to scream with my stomack, now only burning myself with what is acid or bioplasma
>used to be biology nerd, realize that I forgot how to make baby
>I realize I don't know if I even have a biological gender anymore.
>I realize the hate for faggot I feel right now

>I grab my own tissue in my mind and yeet it into the spawning pool!
1. I do have a couple plots in mind and I think they are pretty intresting for when they come.
2. It's obvious I am more or a reader than poster. Any suggestions to use as a basis for wording?
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>Fuck, something came out!
>I try to feel it as it wiggles around.
>Six limbs, tail and mouth.
>Congrats, it's a Ripper
>Now go out and..
>The fucker doesn't listen and feels like he's crunching at one of the meatpillars.
>Guess nid cancer exists after all

>Why can't it just work for once? I might be a kilometer-scale bioship but there is a limit to what I can take.

Will continue in a couple hours.
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welcome to the anon initiative nidanon
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initiative confirmed. normie senpai need me in the quadrantine


>Slippery Fucker doesn't listen to anything
>Tried psychic screaming with the airways but that broke two pillars. I think those are most internal ribs.
>Won't fucking kill myself as the biggest biomorph to kil one of the smallest
>I try surf on the raging instinct
>Bitch, you are my prey
>I drag more mass into spawning pool and cannel as much of my Will into it as possible
>Something grows but dies due to asphyxation secounds after it leaves the pool

>The third mass that crawls out of the pool feels descent as I force my mind to ancor into it. Somehow, I open my eyes.
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sorry for cringe answer, phone autocorrect fucked up


>I can see! I! CAN! FIGHT!
>And I see it's butt black, only the spawning pool emiting any sort of light
>Movement is something to adjust to as the body made is a Ravager
>Trying to spider around on all 6 but coordination sucks and am too top-heavy to not eat dirt every couple steps
>Slithering is doable but annoying with the short tail.
>Shitty but stable.gif
>Luckily the reaper just happily feasts on the flesh and is too slow to run as I inpale it inside the meatburrow it made.
>Finally able to look around, turns out the general hivefleet colours are unknown to me
>Chitin and Bone are both pretty much a familiar green while the skin is generally blue-ish
>Only Hivefleet that is close is Ouroboris which is just fliers with glowy weapons
>Can't remember anything else about them tho and it's chitin is black, not green.

>Problem for later as I throw the rebel's body into the spawning pool as I begin the journey throgh one of the outside tunnels.

>Controlling 2 bodies at the same time is putting a lot of strain on my sences
>When I can see the specific tunnels, I can shift some tissue around, which lets me to hermeticly close them as the ravager body gets near to one of the exits.
>As I open the exit membranes, the ravager me holds tight to the boney walls
>I have a couple of secounds as I take the glimpse all around, before I have to retreat to avoid loosing the ravager to the void
>Turns out the mother ship is in a worse state that I though, with it's carpace flying as space debris
>But there is more.
>There is another Hiveship on another side of the carcrass, seems kindda undeveloped
>But it's in one piece

>Dinner aqquired

>I have no idea how to travel around, other than to clumsily climb with the Hiveships legs
>How do you even fart without a digestive tract anyways, those jets don't make sence
>When I get there, a couple more looks out the airlock confirm it's not mutilated or anything.
>It just sits there but it's not the same type of bioship as me. It's one of those shitty void shark things from Battlefleet Gothic 2
>Lazy GeeDubz, Lazy! *cockslap!*
>Mothership looks a little bit more classic like what I appear to be but hard to tell in it's advanced stage of decay
>How do I even consume the thing?
>I don't want to do a psychic scream or signal in case it awakes and fucks off but I don't really have a proper way of devouring the bastard

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>I calculate a small jump and grab of the morselship as I have no reason to stay 'docked' onto the mothership
>jump is smooth enough and I manage to grab the ship but the ravener body gets sucked into space
>loosing a synapse creature is painful, I'd blow for paracetamol
>no homo of course
>One of the last things I see outta it's eyes is the void beyond, bathed in a purple hue
>I guess we're in a gas cloud of some sort, might explain why nobody else had entered the party
>I don't want my ass looted by orkz
>Anyways, creating a couple of raveners to see if I can't have them scout the morsel
>I experiment with specifications, I try to up chitin covering and maybe have some liquid oxygen storage
>Shit doesn't bulge if I just throw meat at the problem, trying to modyfy the growing embrios
>They just tear themselves apart
>I decide to once again go with the instinct which leads me to work on some structure I recognize

>Turns out, I can see my general genome and understand where one protein coding starts and ends
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>Used to be a chemistry nerd back when but biology was not a strong suit
>If you can remember all that latin gibberish, congrats - your a double nerd
>All I know is that I just throw more growth hormones into a dna sequence and then test-run it to see if it can survive. Do it a thusand times and I can call myself a buggy.
>Buggy still on soviet diet
>I supercharge one of the resulting heavy astronaut Raveners to chain myself as the synapse while the rest in it's proximity act as I command
>I let them out through the engine ass
>besides 2 of them loosing footing and getting yeeted it goes well enough
>When they reach a good opening, I won't be loosing any athmosphere
>On their way in, cut the tendrons to collapse the open tunnel
>Inside is still pressurized but there is a stink of rotten eggs

>Yup, thing is ded

>The inside seems tannish but can't tell what Hivefleet it was. Mother carcrass is black-grey,
>God, looks like a sewer here and most passages are collapsed
>I think I have a plan, I send the team to go to the higher front areas of the body
>The Raveners can't find the path to where the brain is, I have them claw through one of the collapsed tunnels
>Mining fat goes well until one of 12 Raveners slips into the muck and I loose contact
>We're not alone boyos
>A small quake rumbles as a mountain of nearby chitin starts moving
>At this point, the Raveners don't have any ranged shit, just talons
>My only hope is to void the snake

>pic related

>That uncurcimsized turd decimates 8 out of my Raveners before I am able to move him into a position where I can vent it out
>2 Raves cut away the pillars keeping the tendrons of the seal in place but the Trygon is only partally vented
>It's still slicing and trying to dig it's way away from the exit
>New plan - I use the remaining 2 Raves as bait for the Trygon to collapse the rest of the pillars holding the anus tunnel in check
>The fat of the tunnel collapses of top of the monster, immobilizing and breaking bones
>The synapse is the remaining one that rips the Trygons neck into ribbons, ending it
>Also, Trygon tastes a lot like jerky

>The reamaining Ravener cuts away the rest of the fat to get to where I wanted to get in the first place - the brain box of the bioship
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>I send a secound team to get in and pack the brain tissues, effectively establish a conga line that passes the brain in jars made out of bone and Trygon skin
>What? It's ass is void-proof and I found some gel that works like glue
>Just dump the brain matter in my digestive pool
>It's kindda like a spawning pool but I cannot spawn from it - instead it's good at breaking shiit down
>I realize I'm kindda retarded after the first couple deliveries of grey matter don't cause me to know more
>I try the spawning pools which actually do shit. I don't see any info of the brain as I hoped but I can analize the DNA of the other nid
>Seems like we both are Ouroboros. It's DNA hold instructions for what end up beeing Trygons, Capilary Towers and Eather Swarms on top of a basic instruction for wings.
>My Space Ravagers get pretty manoverable with the Eather Swarm genes but fail to work as anything beyond eyes and transports

>But I am now ready for the Feast.

>Growing a Capilary tower between me and the morsel is relatively easy, some of my voidfags help with pressurising the capilary's entry
>Then the tough part begins
>I start spawning a secound synapse, barely holds with the dizzyness of the stress and hunger
>When I have one of the synapses sit between the spawing pool and the capilary, the other just on the capilary exit
>Spawn a small horde of rippers
>I command the horde that feels like directing the way piss flows
>Have them eat through the middle of the capilary to create a tunnel of assoult, those full return to digestion HQ

>It will take some time but what's left of the corpse is skeleton with those gay vagina mouth still recognizable

>Tyrk Farting - Confirmed
>I think I grown twice sideways from eating the little bitch
>I do however now know what to do with movement
>Turns out the newfag nids are using eatherswarm tentacles to swim through space
>It's much more effective that jets and I've started growing capilaries of that type around my legs to paddle through space
>Not Warp Travel but Honest Work

>Time to see what out there in the nebula. One could say my appetite for knowledge has increased.

With that intro I think I'll retire for today. I know it's kindda bare but I wanted to try and see if it's worth sharing. Do come to say hi and call me gay. I'll try to keep the intelectifags entertained until cupanon gets to it again.
Member of Neckbeardia Discord server here, I agree, fuck James. Writing event vid when

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