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File: Reincarnated as a Dragon.png (1.56 MB, 1500x1753)
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'Sup /tg/, it's storytime. Let me tell you about that time I got reincarnated as a dragon (who is really freaking bad at being a dragon).

>Be me, an ordinary American salaryman.
>Work a nice process analysis job for a megacorp near the Imperial Capital
>Bit of a nerd/weeb/conspiracy nut
>Too old to be drafted when the Republic of China starts World War 3
>Nukes don't get launched, bioweapons out the wazoo though melting faces.
>Try to avoid catching super plague.
>Success!
>Emperor Martin Washington failed to avoid catching super plague, probably.
>It's classified.
>Get to attend Emperor Theodore Washington's coronation, though.
>New Emperor's got some big ideas. Big AI-deas.
>Super AGI HELIOS comes online during the first year of his reign.
>Surveillance state to end all surveillance states
>Conspiracy boards blow up.
>Do some digging for shits and giggles during the weekends.
>Oh shit anyone close to developing another AGI keeps having tragic accidents.
>That's not a coincidence, is it.
>Head into work after a sleepless night.
>Brakes on a self-driving semi mysteriously fail while I'm crossing the street.
>Well, this is going to suck.
>>
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>>76539886
(For context, this is the story of a Pathfinder Campaign that I've playing in since the lockdown started. Though, it's not exactly vanilla pathfinder, the GM uses a metric ton of third party materials)

>Don't feel anything.
>Entire world is a plane of black now.
>HEY HEY, PEOPLE. YOG HERE. TODAY, I HAVE DECIDED TO VISIT WITH THE RECENTLY DECEASED.
>What.
>YOU'RE DEAD LOUISE. HIT BY A TRUCK WHOSE BRAKES FAILED SO HARD, IT ACCELERATED RIGHT INTO YOU AND TRANSFORMED YOUR BODY INTO MEAT PASTE.
>I'm sorry... I think you have the wrong person. My name is Louis.
>I'M AFRAID THAT IS NO LONGER THE CASE, LOUISE. WE ROLLED THE GACHA, AND YOU CAME OUT A GIRL THIS TIME AROUND.
>But why though?
>BECAUSE THAT IS HOW ISEKAI WORKS, LOUISE.
>I'm pretty sure most of those don't-
>RELAX. DON'T WORRY, IT WILL BE JUST LIKE ONE OF YOUR JAPANESE ANIMES.
>Okay...
>THAT'S THE SPIRIT. NOW LISTEN, YA BOI YOG IS GONNA MAKE YOU HIS CHAMPION-
>Again, gonna have to ask why...
>BECAUSE THERE'S THIS BLACK VOID IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS UNIVERSE WHERE HE CAN'T SEE SHIT.
>Aren't you supposed to be all of time and space?
>I COULD EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY THAT'S WRONG, BUT IT WOULD BE FASTER IF I JUST BOOPED YOU ON THE NOGGIN AND TRANSPORTED THE INFORMATION DIRECTLY INTO YOUR BRAIN MEATS.
>Wait hold on I don't consent to-
>BOOP.
>>
>>76539921
>Why does my brain feel like it's on fire?
>DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. INSTEAD, YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT DEFEATING THE DEMON KING.
>Demon King?
>THAT'S RIGHT, LOUISE. EVERY ISEKAI HAS THE GODDESS'S CHAMPION FACE OFF AGAINST THE DEMON KING.
>AND BUILDING A HAREM, BUT THIS IS A CHRISTIAN ISEKAI, SO THERE WILL NONE OF THAT LOW BROW NONSENSE.
>Wait, you're a goddess?
>NO, I'M YA BOI YOG. I HAVE ASCENDED SO FAR BEYOND YOUR MORTAL CONCEPTS OF GENDER, THAT MY PRONOUNS ARE - IN FACT - WITHOUT NUMBER.
>Okay...
>BESIDES, YOU'LL PROBABLY BE WORKING WITH MY EX, SO THAT WILL BE TWO GODDESSES WHO YOU WILL BE CHAMPIONING.
>Wait, a minute, you're making me your Ex's champion too?
>Are you even allowed to do that?
>MAYBE. SORT OF. THAT'S REALLY NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.
>Okay... still not getting the why, though.
>BECAUSE YA BOI YOG IS ABOUT TO YEET YOUR SOUL INTO THE NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN GALAXIES, WHERE LIES THAT STYGIAN HOLE IN TIME AND SPACE FROM WHENCE NO INFORMATION HAS YET RETURNED.
>ALL SO HE CAN LIVESTREAM THE RESULTS ON YOGNET FOR THE VIEWING PLEASURE OF HIS MANY SUBSCRIBERS - WHO NOW NUMBER AS MANY AS SIX INFINITIES ACROSS EVERY POSSIBLE TIMELINE.
>This seems like a very poor decision
>DON'T WORRY. IT WILL BE FINE. YA BOI YOG KNOWS -EXACTLY- WHAT HE'S DOING.
>>
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>>76539962
>It actually was fine.
>I hatched from an egg. Apparently mom and dad were both dragons? Or, well, mom's a dragon, and dad's a human who's soul became that of a dragon? It's complicated.
>Both mom and dad teach me how to transform into a human really quickly, because apparently our clan should be dead and if the people who tried to kill us found out, they'd come to finish the job.
>Thus begins my life as the daughter of two minor nobles (who are definitely not dragons) running a vineyard.
>It appears that Mah Boi "yeeted" my soul into a fairly standard early-modern fantasy setting. Guns are primitive enough that knights in shining armor are still a thing, but magic is advanced enough that quality of life is on par with what I left behind... or at least close enough that I won't complain too much.
>Only thing I really miss is the Internet.
>Yognet just isn't the same, especially since I can only access it via a stone tablet that no one else can see.
>Can't really Isekai Protagonist my way into fortune and fame, either. Most everything I did was with computers, so it's mostly useless trivia here. No kickstarting the industrial revolution for me.
>I guess I can bring in some stuff like SIPOC and value stream mapping to our vineyard's business, though.
>I also start to cook some dishes from home once I'm tall enough to reach the counters. Apparently, Dad thinks it's my special talent, so he takes me aside and teaches me a few magic tricks.
>Literally.
>Back home, some people might say the work of a great chef is magic. Here, that phrase is a bit more literal, and once I learn the foundations, pops encourages me to build up my own book of magic recipes.
>Of course, Mom encourages me to NOT give my brothers any Jumbo Gumbo. They're destructive enough when they're NOT ten feet tall.
>>
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>>76540028
>Family is pretty big.
>Apparently dragons are catholic in this setting.
>Might have something to do with recovering from attempted genocide by religious zealots that hate dragons.
>We in northern Roisgrav, near the border of a no-man's land, so we don't have to worry about those too much. The casual necromancy can get a bit creepy though.
>I do have to admit that the stagheads look COOL, especially with adamantine plating. We have a butler like that which Dad keeps animated, a staghead he calls Jacques.
>For context, stagheads are humanoid undead made out of animal bones. Using human bones is actually illegal in most cases, it's technically considered a form of slavery, a practice despised by Roisgrav.
>Mainly because they're like the Slavs: on the receiving end of it 9 times out of 10.
>Not counting the slime Mom and Dad accidentally awakened a while ago, I'm the second oldest of seven siblings, with three sisters and three brothers.
>My older brother Aiden's the heir, though our Slime Brother is the eldest of the family. He doesn't really count because he's an awakened slime, though.
>One of Dad's old adventuring buddies live with us as well, as the irresponsible uncle to all us kids.
>He's a knife.
>No joke, he's a knife made out of a material called "Bloodstone", apparently a lot of things made from it gain sapience.
>His name is Hugh Mann.
>Somehow, the pun works despite Roisgravi not being anywhere close to English in most regards.
>Hugh and I become fast friends, and soon I become his favorite steed around the vineyard, carrying him on my belt.
>Mom thinks he's too irresponsible and a bad influence, but Dad's happy to have one of his friends around when his daughter goes exploring.
>>
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>>76540055
>Receive a vision in my sleep.
>I forget how old I was, but I remember the vision clearly to this day. A path laid out through the foothills of Roisgrav's northern mountains.
>It leads to a cave on the northern side of the mountains, in the no man's land that no one cares to visit.
>The snow's are bitter and deep as I trudge through them in nothing but my night shift, my draconic blood keeping me warm against winter's frigid touch.
>The cave is in a forgotten place, untouched by man for untold years.
>A cyclopean shrine sits within the heart of the cave, dusted with snow.
>I brush away the snow and the muck of ages, and there is that which called me.
>The blessings of Mah Boi.
>The Door and the Silver Key.
>I pick them up, and I realize that these hands were meant to hold these weapons.
>A jet black shield like that of a Roman Legionnary, upon which is painted the sigil of Yog-Sothoth.
>A weapon that is at once a musket, an axe, and a key of dreams.
>Behind me, something horrid squirms. I raise the Silver Key to defend myself.
>Wake up outside my family's manor, my feet bleeding and my legs sore, my night shift covered in dried blood, my once red hair now silver as the moon - only the tips remain crimson. Mom looks worried. Dad looks troubled. Hugh seems disappointed that I did not bring him along.
>>
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>>76540099
>The Door and the Silver Key always manage to find their way back to my side no matter how many times Mom and Dad confiscate them or throw them away.
>They don't teleport or anything, at least not openly. Just a series of coincidences that bring them back to me.
>Eventually, Mom and Dad think its best that I just learn how to use them.
>Dad calls up Uncle Reggie, an old adventuring buddy of his and distant relation who happens to be the Royal Doctor.
>Strings get pulled, and I wind up getting squired to his half brother Parcival, the heir apparent to House Thorpenwald.
>Because Thorpenwald is close to the throne of Roisgrav, a lot of expectations get put on my shoulders.
>My performance reflects upon that of their heir.
>It reflects upon Uncle Reggie, too, because he convinced his brother to take me on.
>Not to mention my parents who, while a distant cadet branch of House Thorpenwald, are respected for their service to the Archduchy. Dad is actually an up-jumped commoner given a title worthy of Mom's hand thanks to his work.
>So yeah no pressure.
>Parcival turns out to be as strict a teacher as he is patient, and he is an incredibly patient man.
>Teaches me how to swing an axe, fire and load a musket, and move around in the set of collapsible full plate that Dad made for me when I officially became a squire.
>I may have bullied my way into running the kitchen when camp gets made, but no one complains because I know how to turn rations into a proper supper.
>The magic in the food helping to heal people's wounds after a hard day of bandit and slaver hunting is just icing on the cake.
>>
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>>76540148
>End up taking my first life at sixteen.
>Rotten bastard, a bandit working with a group of slavers, who took a squad of half-trained men to raid our camp while the proper knights were dealing with the main encampment of their employers.
>Would rather not think about what was going through his mind when he saw me and some of the other female squires.
>Definitely didn't think about what just happened when a blow from the Key caved in his breastplate until after the fighting was over.
>He's not the last, either.
>Thanks to the Door and the Silver Key, I become the rock that the bandits crash upon, while the other squires back me up.
>I don't remember how many I kill before the enemies retreats.
>Once the knights are back and mop up the bloodied mercenaries, everything catches up with me.
>Immediately start vomiting up this morning's breakfast.
>Sir Parcival thinks I did a good job at rallying the other squires to victory.
>I'm not so sure.
>It just reminds me too much of all the terrible things my homeland perpetuated in my first life.
>It really doesn't help that the other squires are praising me for what I did.
>In a dream that night, Mah Boi comes to me
>>
>>76540193
>HEY HEY, LOUISE. YOG HERE. TODAY, IN LIGHT OF RECENT EVENTS, I HAVE DECIDED TO TEACH YOU HOW TO AVOID DROPPING YOUR ENEMIES BELOW 0 HP.
>HP? What is this, a video game?
>Actually, that would explain why I keep seeing an experience meter go up after a fight...
>NO.
>IT IS ACTUALLY A TABLETOP RPG THAT I'M LIVE STREAMING WITH HASTUR AND THE BOYS. NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND ME, I'M GOING TO GO AHEAD AND DOWNLOAD THIS KNOWLEDGE INTO YOUR BRAIN MEATS.
>Oh God not this again.
>BOOP.
>And once more, my brain feels like you set it on fire.
>CONGRATULATIONS, YOU NOW KNOW HOW TO GOLDEN LEGION'S STAYED BLADE.
>Come again?
>TO PUT IT IN TERMS A WEABOO LIKE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND: JUST BECAUSE YOU KILL THEM DOESN'T MEAN THEY'LL DIE.
>Would it kill you to make sense for once, Yog?
>ACTUALLY YES.
>Of course it would.
>ANYWAYS, IF YOU LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE TO THIS METHOD OF SUBDUING YOUR FOES, YA BOI YOG CAN GUARANTEE YOU FABULOUS PRIZES
>Why are you talking like a freaking YouTuber?
>I HAVE ALREADY INFORMED YOU THAT THIS IS BEING LIVE STREAMED ON YOGNET. IF I DON'T PUSH PEOPLE TO SMASH THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON AND HIT THE LITTLE NOTIFICATION BELL, I'LL NEVER REACH SEVEN INFINITIES OF SUBSCRIBERS.
>But Yognet's just a chat room...
>DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. INSTEAD, YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE FROM NOW ON. IF YOU AVOID IT, YOU WON'T DIE EVEN IF THEY KILL YOU.
>What's that supposed to mean?
>IT MEANS THAT OATHS ARE A BROKEN AND EXPLOITABLE GAME MECHANIC. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT TOO MUCH.
>>
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>>76540236
Louise's Daily Automatic Revivals: 1

>I worried about it too much.
>Everything Mah Boi does, I worry about a little bit.
>Even if he is Mah Boi, he's still an Eldritch Abomination that governs space and time.
>At least he managed to drag me out of my funk, though that might have been his intention the entire time. I don't know why Yog seems to like me, but he does.
>From then on, wounds I deal to enemies that should have killed them don't; they always stabilize after falling unconscious.
>Parcival catches onto this fairly quickly, but he thinks it might be a property of the Silver Key, whose properties have yet to be fully elucidated.
>The Archduke seems to be alright with the influx of captured slavers, so Parcival doesn't complain about it.
>Public executions after a big show of a trial make for good boosts to morale, apparently.
>While we hunt slavers, I keep my ear to the ground for news of the Demon King that Yog wants me to slay.
>Don't hear anything about him, but I'm sure he'll show up eventually.
>There is this one crier near the church keeps going on about the Five Heavenly Kings, but I'm pretty sure that's just the local religion.
>Mom and Dad revere the Lady of Many Faces, a faith that isn't quite heresy in Roisgrav, so I don't know too much about the Kings.
>Training as a squire continues for another three years before Parcival thinks I'm ready to take on a mission on my own
>If I succeed, I'm to be knighted upon my return.
>If I fail, I'm to return to squiring under Parcival for another year.
>As it happens, another friend of the family had such a mission ready, where I would join Hugh, and a group of contractors from Roisgrav's "Adventurer's Guild".
[End Backstory]
>>
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>>76540264
[Begin Campaign]
Current Party:
>Level 4 Ethumion Spirit Blade: Hugh Mann
>Level 4 Dragon Samurai: Louise O'Dyna-Cocteau

Louise's Daily Automatic Revivals: 1

>Meet up with Hugh at the vineyard
>He's got himself a shiny new magic pommelstone, and apparently ate a whole bunch of mundane items that he can now shapeshift into.
>Including a freaking gondola.
>A gondola with shark teeth and flames painted onto the sides, and a sign naming it the Unsinkable II hanging off the sternpost.
>He refuses to tell me what happened to the Unsinkable I.
>Together, we head down river to Blackmine, the capital of Roisgrav.
>It's an old city dug deep into the earth, one left over from a long forgotten age, people having built layer upon layer atop its old bones of adamantine plating.
>We're only really interested in two regions of the city during our visit: the College District, and the Reemergent District.
>My family has an old house that managed to survive the fire that gutted the Reemergent District 60 years ago, and I figured Hugh and I could clean it up while we were there.
>It's a bit haunted, but everything in that district is a bit haunted. The ghosts in the library are mostly harmless.
>The "Adventurer's Guild" - I refuse to call it the Contractor Recruitment Center, that's too clunky - happens to be located in the college district.
>It only really exists because there's a shortage on military personnel (and population, really) due to the big war with Astrad some 30 years ago.
>Aunty Avis says that the plausible deniability it gives the Roisgrav Intelligence Agency is nice too.
>Speaking of which, Aunty Avis is the one who recommended the mission to Sir Parcival. Hugh and I get brought into a back room to meet with her and a few other bigwig nobles.
>Turns out her expectations of me are just as high as Parcival's.
>>
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>>76540299
>Besides the nobility, there's three other people in the room with Hugh and I.
>Turns out they're our fellow Adventurers.
>Yes, I know contractor is the correct term, but it's dumb. I refuse.
>First is a gentledwarf named Korgrir Shieldwall.
>Rare to see a dwarf outside their mountain halls, but he wanted to see what life was like on the surface, and learn new blacksmithing techniques. He has habbit of offering weapons he forges to his ancestors.
>Being a master weaponsmith, he and Hugh hit it off really quick. Dwarf knows how to treat a knife right.
>Second is a shifty kitsune that keeps to her fox form most of the time, Vivian von Alde.
>She's technically a medical doctor, but she's more about making new and more interesting strains of plague than she is about healing people.
>Kind of leaves me on edge, considering the number of bioweapons that got released during the Third World War. I spent a good chunk of my adulthood sheltering in place to prevent disease spread, people should NOT mess with diseases like that.
>Last guy is a non-descript fellow who looks vaguely Asian, named Pen Ding.
>May or may not be a bit old hand at the whole intelligence circuit, very much the silent and mysterious type.
>Some sort of mage, not sure what sort exactly.
>The five of us together will be tackling the mission that Aunty Avis has for us.

Current Party:
>Level 4 Ethumion Spirit Blade: Hugh Mann
>Level 4 Dragon Samurai: Louise O'Dyna-Cocteau
>Level 4 Dwarven Blacksmith: Korgrir Shieldwall
>Level 4 Kitsune Plaguewright: Vivian von Alde
>Level 4 Human Wraith: Pen Ding

Louise's Daily Automatic Revivals: 1
>>
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>>76540322
>Aunty Avis leads the meeting and walks us through the details of the mission
>Apparently, one of Roisgrav's traditional allies has ceased all contact with the outside world, both mundane and magical.
>Called the Island of Storms, they have one of the foremost institutes of arcane learning in the world.
>Normally, them going incommunicado would not be much of a concern - as Wizards do tend to be reclusive - but this gap in communications has been much longer than most.
>What's more unusual is that the storms that normally rage around the island have dropped off entirely for nearly a month now - normally, they only drop for a week at a time every few months to allow ships to enter and leave their waters.
>Fishermen have been reporting strange sights and sounds coming from the Island's mainland, as well as smoke rising from the town around the tower in the heart of the Island.
>Roisgrav wants to send someone to check up on them, and provide aid if necessary.
>Sending official military, or even a group of errant knights, would probably end up causing a diplomatic incident. Matters of treaty and authority to move troops and whatnot.
>Adventurers, however, can more or less do what they please, being private citizens.
>The navy will be providing a discrete mode of transport to and from the Island, as well as some small amount of backup once we make contact with the locals and get their permission.
>Of course, since the vessel does not actually exist, we have to sign a LOT of paperwork before being informed about it.
>Apparently, some madlad necromancer decided to gut a Leviathan, plate its bones with Adamantine, build a boat around the bones, and turn the whole bloody thing into a collosal animated skeleton.
>And it will be leaving from port to hunt down pirates in three days.
>A port that's nearly a two hundred miles away.
>Oh, and Blackmine's node on the network of Ancient Gates is down to allow the ancient machina to refresh itself.
>Fiddle fucks.
>>
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>>76540344
>There is some good news: the nearby city of Lochtor also has a gate
>It's a three day journey by river in and of itself, but we devise a plan to get there faster.
>Hugh would transform himself into the Unsinkable II, while Korgrir, Pen, and I would take turns rowing in eight hour shifts.
>While making these plans, we may have forgotten that Hugh needs to get eight hours of shut-eye each day as well.
>Especially since he decides to help out with the rowing, even further increasing his speed.
>The first shift passes without much incident.
>We just run into some guards, and share lunch with them.
>They appreciate it so much, they "forget" to collect the toll for our use of the canal.
>On the second shift, we wind up running into a Baryonyx and its young in the swamplands.
>As a note, dinosaurs are actually a fairly common sight in Roisgrav. The army employs a number of necromancers to keep a standing force of adamantine plated dinosaur skeletons in reserve
>Keep the big mama Baryonyx off the party while Korgrir sticks behind me with his giant-sticker.
>It refuses to take a hit until Vivian pulls out one of her plagues that debuffs it to hell and back.
>Then it starts to melt while Korgrir and I wail away on it.
>While the three of us kill the big mama, Pen uses some mind-magic to lull one of the young to sleep before it bolts.
>He manages to take it alive, and had a cage stuck away in extradimensional storage to keep it in.
>Third shift, we end up running the absolute hell away from something big.
>Korgrir was at the paddle, but moment he spots this giant crocodile-like monstrosity, he wakes me up to help.
>The two of us damn well near work our arms to exhaustion getting away from that thing, and Hugh winds up using what little energy he has left to get us into the clear.
>The moment we're safe, he poofs back into knife form, and falls unconscious.
>Luckily, the water was shallow enough in this part of the river that Korgrir didn't immediately drown.
>>
>>76540418

>The last leg of the journey was on foot anyways, so losing Hugh to his nap time wasn't the worst that could happen.
>About halfway from the river to Lochtor, we hear a crack of thunder, and pebbles start raining down from the sky along our path.
>Relatively harmless, but plenty annoying.
>Korgrir and I hold up our tower shields to provide some cover as we move, but Vivian ends up getting conked in the head by one of them
>Decide it's best for everyone's safety if we go deal with whatever's launching pebbles at the road.
>As we get closer, the cracks of thunder - now confirmed to be gunpowder by the smoke, albeit with shoddy weapons and munitions - wake up a very cranky Hugh.
>Hugh asks what the hell is so damn loud.
>Tell him that someone about two hundred feet or so up and ahead are shooting off annoying pebble barrages with gunpowder.
>"Alright, I got this." Hugh teleports off of my belt before I say another word.
>Thinking that he'll probably be in trouble on his own, I pull out my Force Hook, shoot it at a sturdy tree atop the hill we're approaching, and jet off like I'm Batman in Shining Armor.
>Vivian, Pen, and Korgrir just break out in a run to follow us.
>Though it turns out Hugh was fine on his own.
>He apparently teleported right behind the biggest guy in the camp, stabbed him, took control of his body, cleaved the leader's head off with a single blow, and chopped down two more by the time the rest of us caught up with him.
>>
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>>76539886
>>76540193
>besmirching the name of Fattest Shotgun with your faggy isekai greentext
tldr and you're a gay
>>
>>76540441
>Arrive just in time to accept the surrender of the last remaining bandit, a girl around my age who was basically the bandit leader's squire.
>Learn from her that their leader was apparently an absolute genius.
>To keep people away from the adamantine vein they had planned to mine out with some slaves they had yet to take, he ordered his men to fire upon anyone they saw on this section of the road with their shitty hand bombards.
>Truly, he was a master strategist whose tactical acumen could have shaken the balance of power in the region.
>Wind up letting the girl off with a warning because four of her friends just died, one from his own bombard exploding in his hands. Also because she's kinda cute.
>Wait, shit, does that make me a lesbian?
>Thoughts for later.
>It's kind of disturbing that I need to talk down Vivian from using her as a test subject for one of her horrific bioweapons.
>Pen seems a bit disappointed that he did not get in on the action.
>Korgrir is just wheezing from the sprint up. Gimli clearly lied about Dwarves being natural sprinters.
>The rest of the walk into Lochtor passes without incident.
>The only thing that's really notable is the fact that when we pass through the gates of the city, I hear a little ding, and that experience bar that shows up every now and again spills over.
>Oh, sweet, I reached Level 5!

Current Party:
>Level 5 Ethumion Spirit Blade: Hugh Mann
>Level 5 Dragon Samurai: Louise O'Dyna-Cocteau
>Level 5 Dwarven Blacksmith: Korgrir Shieldwall
>Level 5 Kitsune Plaguewright: Vivian von Alde
>Level 5 Human Wraith: Pen Ding

Louise's Daily Automatic Revivals: 1

===

That's all I really have written up for today. I'll probably continue this either later tonight if the thread's still up once I get some other stuff done, or tomorrow if it's not.
>>
>>76540497
Well fuck you and your excellent taste in shotguns too, anon.

Spas-12 is a miracle of the universe, that's why I used her as my character token for this campaign
>>
>>76540591
Isekai is still shit and so are you
>>
Imagine unironically running a fucking isekai.
>>
>>76540614
I am aware.
>>
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>>76540631
There's some comedy to be mined.
>>
>>76540851
>baalbuddy
>funny
He's the modern equivalent of a "two gamers on a couch MARIO TAKES DRUGS SO WACKY" early 00's webcomic
>>
>>76540851
lol
>>
>>76539921
>HEY HEY, PEOPLE, YOG HERE.
Sseth being an eldritch being makes an uncomfortable amount of sense.
>>
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Oh hey the thread is still alive, neat.

>>76540507
>Lochtor definitely isn't Blackmine.
>With its bones of old adamantine and the many spires that rose above the surface, and the haphazard way people had built atop the bones, Blackmine made me think of a hive city whenever I saw it.
>Lochtor, on the other hand, is much more neat and orderly.
>Someone definitely planned it out, just like Gotham and so many other cities back home.
>We don't spend much time seeing the sights, we're only here for what lies at the center of Lochtor: its node on the network of Ancient Gates.
>The Ancient Gate here reminds me of a Stargate, only bigger.
>A lot bigger.
>Fit an entire supercarrier through the portal bigger.
>The city of Lochtor is built up around the Ancient Gate for a good reason - it's basically a port unto itself.
>While we wait for its scheduled connection to Kalt'haffen, we get to see a vast amount of goods flowing in and out of the portal in an orderly manner.
>Pen takes the opportunity while we wait to hit up a merchant prince from the Walking Cities that deals in exotic animals.
>Scores a pretty penny selling him the baby Baryonyx.
>I take the opportunity to pick up some foodstuffs from the wholesale market on the cheap - wheat, rice, almonds, honey, spices, milk, eggs, and meat.
>Put one of Dad's cooking tricks to work, an ability that lets me store food in a space where time doesn't pass normally.
>Never know when we'll be stranded and need some rations, after all.
>Finally the crier calls out our destination, and our group heads through the portal once it starts up.
>Pretty sure whoever owns the rights to Stargate should sue, though.
>We don't need to stand back, but everything else about it makes me wonder if we'll see SG-1 emerging from the silver pool...
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>>76541262
Yog-Ssethoth being how he is came after a number of sessions of the GM and I putting our heads together to figure out how we wanted him to be. The GM actively involving the players in some of the worldbuilding for the setting is what really brought this campaign together, I think. That and it being a follow-up in the same setting to one that literally ended in fire and death for most of the PCs.

>>76542487
>If Lochtor's Ancient Gate was lively, then Kalt'Haffen's was swamped with activity.
>Kalt'Haffen had the unique blessing of not only possessing a node on the network, but also having the biggest port in Roisgrav.
>Most any trade that passed into Roisgrav, passed through this city's harbor.
>We head down to the naval docks and show the appropriate papers to get waved through.
>Give our orders to the Captain, a gent by the name of Maximillian Hawthorne.
>He's not as concerned about getting voluntold to drop us off on the Island of Storms as he is about the fact that one of his officers - Lieutenant Mare - is missing.
>Apparently, she ran off to win the local Fishing Competition for the fifth year running, and never came back.
>Can't kick off without her, as she leads the ship's contingent of marines during combat.
>Korgrir volunteers our assistance in searching for her, and I second him.
>Vivian grumbles a bit about doing work that's not part of our contract, doesn't appear to understand the value of things like "good will" and "rapport".
>Comes along anyways because if we do get a reward out of this, she wants a cut.
>Help Korgrir ask about town after Mare.
>Between his ability to read people and my ability to not be a grumpy and anti-social dwarf, we manage to figure out where she went to win herself that fishing contest.
>Problem: she took a boat up into the nearby swamplands to hunt herself one of the big fish that inhabit the depths of the swamp.
>Emphasis on Hunt. She fishes with harpoons, not a fishing rod.
>>
>>76539921
>For context, this is the story of a Pathfinder Campaign that I've playing in since the lockdown started
Oh ok. I thought you were a time traveller or exaggerating the domestic bits for comedic effect, for a second there.
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>>76543319
Yeah, I proooooobably should have led with that. A college buddy is running the campaign for several other college buddies of ours.

>>76540631
I would not say "unironically". My character in this game was very much made for the meme of being an isekai character who thinks the setting is a Early Modern High Fantasy.

>>76543061
>Despite Roisgrav being for the most part a massive swampland, none of us are particularly prepared to deal with the actual swamp parts of it.
>Well, Hugh is, he can take the form of a gondola.
>I at least have the excuse of living in the mountains for most of my life.
>Being a squire kept me to the northern plains, as knights do not often venture to the swamps of southern Roisgrav.
>Korgrir has the excuse of being a dwarf fresh from his mountain hall.
>There are no swamps underground right?
>Vivian... well, she's from Escana, the more friendly of Roisgrav's two neighboring empires
>Escana doesn't have nearly as many swamps as Roisgrav does, so I guess she has an excuse too?
>And Pen Ding is definitely foreign from his name.
>Wow, I guess none of us actually really have an excuse to be competent in dealing with marshlands.
>Except for Hugh, who can turn into a gondola whenever he pleases.
>We do our best to navigate to where the locals claimed Mare's usual hunting grounds lie.
>Korgrir takes the rudder, because he's the only one with any real sense of direction.
>Probably some manner of dwarven magic they use to find their way through the underground.
>He calls it "Tha ability ta read a bloody map."
>When we finally stumble across her... well, the good news is, Mare's alive!
>The bad news is, she's up in the branches of a swamp tree with three fish circling her, each of which has a beak fat enough to crack her skull like a walnut.
>Vaguely remember reading about these in my past life; aren't they Dunkleostei?
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>>76543640
>So I nearly immediately fall out of Hugh after one of the heavily armored fish of death crash into him.
>If I didn't have my Force Hook, I probably would have wound up drowning.
>Luckily I do, and there are plenty of trees nearby to reel myself up onto.
>Can't really engage in melee from up here, just take pot-shots with the Silver Key's musket.
>Korgrir kept his footing on the boat and took on my usual roll of sticking between the enemy and our allies.
>Pen winds up using some form of mind magic to cause of the fish to go to sleep - Korgrir promptly guts it.
>Mare's harpoon has the returning property, so she's fine plinking away at them from her place in the trees for massive damage.
>Manage to hit one of them right between the eyes from my perch.
>I know that's an unambiguous kill-shot, but mah boi says my oath against killing only applies to intelligent creatures, so it's fine.
>I also have it on good authority that "ANGELS DON'T COUNT", because - and I quote - "FUCK THOSE GUYS."
>Not sure why mah boi has a beef against angels, or if I'll even end up fighting them, but I won't complain about that caveat.
>Once all fish are dead and gutted, Mare seems pretty happy to see us.
>Apparently she had been hunting something a bit less fearsome than those things, but her chumming attracted more than she could chew.
>We drag the Dunkleostei with us so she can win the competition.
>The next largest fish was a one-hundred pound bass.
>Kind of hard for anyone to compete with one a former member of Roisgrav Intelligence who's alright hunting predator species.
>Before we head back to the ship, I help butcher the Dunkleostei in exchange for a good cut of its meat.
>I've got an idea for a new recipe.
>>
>>76543966
>Mare gives Korgrir the prize of the fishing competition, since he did most of the work on the Dunkleosei.
>It's the same thing it is every year, at least each year that she won
>A +1 Rapier that goes unhindered by water, and even allows the wielder to jet like an octopus over short bursts.
>It's crafted in the likeness of a swordfish's head, making it a rather artistic weapon, all in all.
>We depart with Mare on the last ship out to our true transport - the Tempest.
>Captain Hawthorne reminds us that the ship does not exist, and that informing anyone without the appropriate clearances of its existence is treason and/or espionage.
>None of us really have any intent on informing anyone about it, so it should be fine.
>No pressure though.
>It's not like it's a really freaking or anything like that. No way would we want to tell anyone about its existence or the fact that we hitched a ride on it.
>Okay, that's a lie.
>But come on! It's a giant freaking adamantine plated skeletal whale submarine!
>How can anyone keep themselves from gushing about something that freaking cool.
>Luckily, we have all the time in the world to geek out about it, because even at the speeds that the Tempest - that's the name of the ship - can go, we've got a few days until we've caught up with those pirates.
>A few more details about that part of the mission roll in from Mare as we get settled.
>Apparently, the pirates commandeered an old Ship of the Line from Astrad to conduct some business with an obscure cult, according the report from intelligence.
>Mare is a bit spooked by the idea of dealing with a cult.
>She's even more spooked when we tell her about our final destination on the Island of Storms.
>"I'm going to pretend I did not hear that, and slowly walk away."
>Woman does NOT care for the supernatural.
>Hunting down some slavers should be relatively mundane work, though. Did that all the time as a squire.
>Roisgrav has the best policy towards slavers: Murder them Dead.
>>
>>76544258
>In the days spent catching up with the pirates, our group begins to integrate with crew.
>I spend most of my time helping out in the kitchens.
>Don't judge, cooking's so darn relaxing, you know?
>It turns out that for various reasons, despite frame and shell of the vessel being crafted from adamantine, open flames are forbidden aboard the Tempest.
>Apparently someone fucked up on one of its sister ships when lighting up certain illicit substances for their consumption.
>Somehow, this led to a small area in the vessel catching fire.
>No real damage since the bones and frame of the vessel was all adamantine, but it still got open flames banned.
>What's worse, is that magical hotplates are a relatively new piece of tech, one that the budgetary committee isn't willing to shell out for.
>Poor Cookie does what he can with what he has, but he has to feed the crew things that don't need to be cooked.
>This is completely unacceptable.
>Luckily, some of the tricks Dad taught me allow you to conjure kitchen necessities. Hotplates included.
>I spend a few days teaching Cookie how to use that trick - apparently, that particular magic is a bit obscure, but the half-orc picks it up quickly enough.
>In return, he teaches me a few magical recipes considered traditional among the Roisgrav Navy: A fish filet that will help you swim, a burger that will keep you from getting pinned down, and a style of fried potato that helps clear the mind.
>Vivian latches onto this poor necromancer woman and starts tormenting her.
>The necromancer isn't quite right in the head to begin with, and Vivian - hanging around in her fox form - decides to pretend that she can't talk except when the two of them are alone.
>Apparently, Vivian tried to convince her to murder the rest of the crew.
>It gets to the point where the poor woman runs off and locks herself away with "The Admiral" in the deepest part of the ship.
>>
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This is going to be my last post for tonight. If the thread's still up tomorrow, I'll continue this then, otherwise I'll start a new one.

>>76544845
>"The Admiral", it turns out, is an intelligent undead skull that controls the ship, made from the body of a retired naval officer who volunteered for this duty on his deathbed.
>Technically speaking, we are all inside of his body.
>Vivian tries to follow the Necromancer in, but the door gets slammed shut in Vivian's face before she can slip through the crack.
>Our party sociopath goes to try and torment the other necromancer, but Grigori's a harder nut to crack.
>Also a crazier nut to crack.
>He and I have a good conversation on the nature of the universe over breakfast.
>He's a follower of someone who's like Mah Boi, as it turns out, but he's doing the following wrong because that lore has been lost to time.
>I'll need to fix that.
>Later though.
>It turns out that the ship's Quartermaster hit it off with Hugh and Korgrir, and she asked the two of them to go check on the necromancer that Vivian had been tormenting.
>No one knew where she went, except for Vivian, who was off pilfering one thing or another.
>Korgrir and Hugh eventually manage to track her whereabouts down.
>They even have a nice heart-to-heart about life, the universe, and Vivian's latent sociopathy.
>Figure that after locking herself away for a few days, she could use something to eat.
>Thus, halfway through my conversation with Grigori, Hugh pops into existence halfway embedded into the table.
>"Louise! We need a wholesome brunch to the Admiral's quarters, STAT!"
>I love cooking far too much to even think of saying no.
>After bringing down enough brunch for five, we get word from Mare that we'll be on the pirate's soon.
>The Weather magic will be going online, calling forth a small storm to provide cover as for the Tempest to breach the surface.
>We'll be hitting the pirates under the cover of night.
>>
>>76539921
didn't realize Sseth was part of Yog-Sothothcast
>>
>>76540028
Isekai that have a monster protagonist gain a human form so early are shit. Being a monster in a world that hates them would at least cause the Gary Stu protagonist to face some kind of adversity.
>>
>>76545301
This is a Pathfinder Game that I'm playing in. I'm just telling it from my PC's point of view (including backstory stuff. The game actually started with everyone making their way to Blackmine to take on the mission to investigate the Island of Storms).
>>
Bumping interesting thread.
>>
Oh hey the thread is still alive, I guess I'll continue.

>>76545070
>Before I talk about what happens with the pirates, I should probably mention a few things Mom taught me about dragons, and a few things Dad told me about Hugh.
>There's some stuff that happens on ship, and that context is needed.
>Dragons were the Five Heavenly Kings' first attempt to build a better human
>Apparently, they were dissatisfied by the behavior of humans when they emerged into the world.
>Humans were curious, flighty, and possessing of a far too independent spirit for the Kings' liking, for they did not show appropriate respect to their gods.
>The Kings took those humans who showed proper respect, and implanted within them a spark of the divine.
>And so were the first dragons born, as a step between the human and the angelic.
>The dragons became the Kings' vanguard in their efforts to restore faith and humility to humanity by force.
>These dragons were very different from dragons like my mother and I.
>One might call them True Dragons, while we are False.
>During the war the Kings waged with the dragons as their vanguard, the Lady of Many Faces approached those flights of dragons who were having second thoughts about their service to the Kings.
>As the Kings made True Dragons from humans, so did the Lady make us from the True Dragons.
>The spark of divinity diminished, and so too the curse of obedience to the Kings suborned into a curse of hatred for the angelic.
>A love for some aspect of humanity implanted within them, to give dragons "skin in the game"
>For red dragons, such as mother and I, that aspect is Art
>That explains why Mom keeps adding galleries to our home to hold paintings and statues.
>Apparently the Art I'm obsessed with is cooking.
>Of course, all this lore is contradicted by the lore of the Church of the Five Kings.
>According to them, the Kings made all humanoid species in their own image when they first emerged into the world, as bringers of life and light.
>>
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>>76549331
>Regarding Hugh, the Bloodstone he was forged of was not something Dad mined or found in ingots.
>Apparently it came from some horrific beast that Mom, Dad, and Uncle Reggie helped to slay before the three of them settled down from a life of adventuring.
>Its bones were the same blood red metal that could be often found adjacent to Adamantine veins.
>Apparently it was a demon some cult conjured through the use of human sacrifice.
>Imperfectly, because Dad but an arrow in the Celebrant before he could complete the rite of sacrifice.
>They managed to save at least one of the children.
>The cultists called what they summoned an Angel.
>They named it the Purifier, as if in mockery of the Angel Neriah, a humble servant of the Kings who brings with her plague and famine that Humanity might grow stronger for having survived it.
>Honestly, based upon his description of the thing, it sounds like a plague bearing angel to me.
>Old Testament Style.
>Or maybe Revelations style, Pale Horseman and all that.
>Uncle Reggie got the felling blow with a reliquary weapon borrowed from the Church of the Lady for the purpose of dealing with anything the cult tried to summon.
>Father had Hugh forged from one of its bones by a certain travelling blacksmith; Hugh was intelligent from the moment he was completed.

>Anyways, back to the raid on the pirates.
>The Tempest surfaces temporarily, just long enough to dispatch a few boats filled with Marines backed up by Stagheads towards the pirate ship.
>I take point on one of the boats, the Door raised to give us cover from enemy bolts and bullets.
>It might be wooden in appearance, but that shield is tougher than mithral.
>Korgrir takes the same approach on another boat, his own tower shield made from good dwarven steel.
>Below the water, several apparatuses swim out of sight, to assault the lower decks while we attack from the surface.
>It looks like everything is coming together.
>>
>>76549651
>Once we get close in, I use my force hook and the main mast to Batman my way onto deck.
>This was a mistake.
>It turns out that a six-foot tall silver haired Lady Knight clad in blackened mithral full plate makes for a rather conspicuous target, even in the dark.
>The only reason I am not shot out of the air is immediately is because it's barely dawn by the time our boats reached the pirates, and my Dad is a very good blacksmith.
>Most of the shots miss, and the ones that don't splatter against my armor.
>Even if they don't penetrate, getting struck by a bullet is like taking a heavy punch to the chest.
>While I'm getting shot at, Hugh teleports up to the guy with the biggest gun that hit me and possesses him with a stab to give us a friendly snipe on their crow's nest.
>Down below, Pen uses his mind magics to cause the pirates manning their volleyguns to fall asleep.
>While Pen ends them rightly, Korgrir commandeers one of the volleyguns and clears a solid chunk of the deck with it.
>Buck and Ball is a beautiful thing to see in action. Too bad he can't reload it in a reasonable amount of time.
>While the pirates and the marines clash across the deck, I try to find someone who looks like a commander, so I can ensure they're taken alive for questioning.
>Notice something unsettling for a moment, but it might just be a trick of the light at dawn.
>When I blink it's gone, but I swear I saw thin strings catching upon the light, rising from the bodies of some of the pirates as if they were marionettes.
>Don't give it too much thought, there's fighting to be done.
>Leap down to one of the officer looking fellows and give him what for, nearly drop the man in one hit.
>Before I can finish dropping him, though, one of the enemy mages hits me with a hostile transposition that I can't shrug off.
>Suddenly find myself near a hundred feet in the air, plunging towards the water.
>Bastard must have swapped me out for a seagull.
>Joke's on him though, I'm a dragon.
>>
>>76550068
>Take my true form for the first time in what feels like years.
>Wings are not fully developed yet, but even if I can't fly, I can glide the rest of the way down.
>Dive for the surface of the ship as fast as I can.
>Hugh decides to join me when I pass him by on the way down.
>"Eh, this guy's gun was out of bullets anyways, and fucked if I know how to reload it."
>Fixing himself as a bayonet to the crow's nest sniper's rifle, he puppeteers the man to do a leaping dive attack on the mage who swapped me for a seagull.
>It was actually really fucking badass to see in action.
>Hugh gets impaled right through the mage's skull at the end of the fall.
>Poor sniper guy winds up breaking both of his legs and passing out, though, leaving Hugh without a body to puppet around.
>Shift back into my normal form before I land, hopefully anyone who noticed just thinks I've got a bit of shapeshifting up my sleeve.
>Transformation Magic is more common than one would think in this world.
>At this point, with Korgrir, Pen, and Vivian's help, the marines and the Stagheads have begun to push the pirates to the far side of the deck.
>Even manage to finally drop that officer looking fellow.
>Though when I do, I find that I've become the prime target for enemy spellslingers and gunslingers.
>Luckily, Korgrir and Pen manage to pull my ass out of that fire.
>Vivian even helps, hitting me with a strain of her plague that... heals some of my wounds? I'm not going to question it.
>"Can't have our meatshield dying before the fighting's done with!"
>And the fighting definitely isn't over with, as we can hear the horrid sound of the crab apparatuses breaking below decks.
>Two doors are thrown open simultaneously from below decks.
>A pair of Astradi Paladins in full harness emerge from the shadows below.
>"Sweet, a new ride!"
>Hugh does his teleportation trick, and tries to possess one of them by impaling his side.
>The paladin just tanks the wound, and rips him out.
>"Oh no."
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>>76550491
>Due to our group's positioning, I'm basically alone in facing down the paladin on my side of the ship.
>That's not 100% accurate, as my side has a few more marines and stagheads, but in terms of people I know how to fight alongside, I'm basically on my own.
>Would even take Vivian, but she slunk away when the paladins began glowing to help the crab apparatuses clear the below-decks.
>That keeps reinforcements off of me and the marines, so I won't complain.
>Down a potion of infernal healing, because even with Vivian's healing plague I'm not nearly at full strength.
>Get locked in a duel with the Paladin on my side of the ship
>I'm just enough of a threat for him to focus on me rather than cut down the more lightly armored marines.
>I've also just enough protection to not be cut down where I stood
>Whenever I catch a blow with my shield, I can feel the deck begin to crack beneath my feet.
>On the other side, Korgrir commandeers another unfired volleygun and empties all eight barrels of it into the Paladin.
>The pirates behind the Paladin are transformed into a fine and bloody mist from the buck and ball bouncing off and across the walls.
>The Paladin's still standing, but he lost the arm that was wielding Hugh
>Pen's mind magics hit a wall against the Paladins, some force rebuffing his psychic screams of "GO TO SLEEP, GO TO SLEEP, GO TO SLEEP!"
>Doesn't stop him from using more blunt and damaging mind-magics to force the issue, though.
>Hugh assumes direct control of one of the stagheads, and flanks the Paladin while Korgrir keeps him back with his giant-sticker.
>Back with me, I hear the Paladin I'm fighting say a few words that I really didn't want to hear
>"By the judgement of the King in Gold, I declare: SMITE EVIL"
>I don't have time to process how it feels to have a hostile brand applied to my soul.
>His blade guided by the Kings, he pierces my defenses and runs me through.
>Without a second thought, he kicks my lifeless corpse from his blade.
>>
on one hand I will bump this thread because the tradition of storytime must be preserved

on the other

dude you really could not have possibly made this any more repulsive
>>
>>76551053
Oh? Is it the style or the content?

The style I can try to improve. The content... well, I can't really do that, that's how the campaign went (and everyone's been having fun with it). Should I be doing things from my own perspective (as the player) rather than that of the character?

I guess I should note that everyone got a special snowflake item in their backstory that can improved with money (later retconned to the Flask Shard artifacts from spheres, because the GM fell in love with those).

Korgrir's Giant-Sticker is his ancestral weapon, and allows him to call upon the spirits of his ancestors for aid in battle (a feature that hasn't been unlocked yet).

Vivian has this iron heart that turns one of her plagues into a cantrip, basically, though she can only give it one trait.

Louise has the Door and the Silver Key, which have some space shenanigans that have yet to be unlocked.

Hugh's pommelstone gives him some neat utility and illusion skills, along with eventually scaling to a +6 to all item.

Pen Ding has an item that expands his mind magics, IIRC (I don't know much about it, though, as unlike the others, the GM didn't bounce ideas for it off of me).

Cilil (who doesn't join until after the Library) has an abstract treasure that acts as a Destruction/Telekinesis Staff and gives him some "Money, dear boy!" abilities and a special shop he can contact a la the Rajah's Valued Customer ability.
>>
>>76551036
>Once again I find myself in that expansive plane of shadows.
>HEY, HEY, LOUISE. YOG HERE.
>JUST WANTED TO WISH YOU CONGRATULATIONS ON DYING THERE.
>So are you here to fling my soul to some other place and time?
>OH DO YOU NOT REMEMBER? INTERESTING.
>Remember what?
>I'M JUST GONNA LET THIS ONE BE A SURPRISE.
>ALSO, FUN FACT: WHEN YOU DIE, YOU'RE NO LONGER SUBJECT TO EFFECTS LIKE SMITE EVIL.

Louise's Daily Automatic Revivals: 0
Number of Times Louise has Died: 1

>This time it's my entire body that feels like it's been set on fire, and not just my mind.
>"Ohhhhhhkay, that's brisk..."
>Well, the good news is that I'm no longer dead on the ground.
>The bad news is, the Astradi Paladin has turned to cut down one of the Tempest's marines.
>His back's turned to me, and while I might be flat on my ass, I have the initiative.
>I kip up and charge him shield first, throwing all my weight behind it to batter him about.
>Staggering a step back, he turns his attention back to me.
>He's got the same look of annoyance on his face that I get when I think I swat a fly, but it crawls out from under the paper and buzzes off again.
>The Kings no longer guide his blows, I manage to catch a furious flurry with my shield.
>A lucky hit from the Silver Key caves in part of his breastplate, and I pull the trigger.
>In an instant, half of his face is blown away, flesh and blood scoured clean from a skull with the look of polished mithral.
>It's too much to ask for that to have dropped him.
>He doesn't even let out a noise of pain, another flurry of sword blows colliding with my shield.
>One manages to get through my guard, but I'm not dead yet.
>Before either of us can land the finishing blow, the head of a spear bursts through his chest.
>Mare landed the killing blow, and I'm far too exhausted to care that we couldn't take him alive.
>Bastard had the gall to die with a smile on his face, though.
>That pisses me off a bit.
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>>76551274
The content. It’s all well and good that you had fun, but that doesn’t make the story less cringe to the uninvolved reader.
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>>76551994
Any specifics?
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>>76552056
Where to start?
>isekai
>dragon (but appears human)
>super special weapon for free
>automatic revival
That’s about the part where I found myself unable to continue reading
>>
>>76552435
Thanks for the feedback, and fair enough.

The autorez is actually from the Oath system that our group uses (it's from the folks that made spheres). Most of the party wound up taking the thing that gives them fast healing/regeneration equal to half their level - I thought the "automatically breath of life yourself when you drop" was cooler, so I took that instead. Makes me weirdly both more and less fragile than the rest of the part (Auto Breath of Lifes are a daily resource for me at this point in the game, so I tend to be the GM's punching bag).

(Also, the only super special weapon in this game is Hugh. All other weapons are inferior to Best Knife)

>>76551844
>The rest of the party managed to kill their Paladin without anyone dying.
>Emptying eight barrels of buck and ball did most of the work for them.
>Hugh jumping from staghead to broken staghead kept the Paladin from hurting anyone who was alive.
>Korgrir got the finishing blow with his giant-sticker.
>Apparently that one seemed to be pleased with dying as well.
>After the marines mop up, we go to secure the ship.
>Korgrir heads below decks to find a bunch of pirates dead from Vivian's super plague.
>Also a good number of slaves the pirates had taken chained up below decks.
>Korgrir does what any sane man would do, and sunders their chains, getting them in order and getting food and drink to the ones that need it.
>Meanwhile, Hugh and I join the captain in examining the wards on the door to the captain's chamber.
>Hugh identifies the language that they're written in as Angelic.
>None of us are really equipped to disarm them the traditional way, and Hugh seems to be rightly spooked by the appearance of that stuff.
>Apparently he came across that stuff when he, Dad, and Uncle Reggie were adventurers.
>It always came up when some spooky shit was going down.
>Just in case, I paint them over with an Elder Sign - the tree, not the star - to try and block out any Outside influence.
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>>76553745
>Great Success!
>"By Stabocles, you've done it!" Hugh rarely invokes the name of his god, so he must be pleased.
>Somehow, painting the door with the Elder Sign managed to collapse the wards on the captain's cabin.
>This sets my concern levels to maximum as Hugh, Captain Hawthorne, and I push the doors open.
>In the room, a cultist in brown robs stands in the center of a magic circle, slowly blood letting himself to complete it.
>Two additional cultists moan in suffering outside the circle, their own bodies drained of blood.
>The Angelic script and geometric patterns have almost been completed by the time we get the door open.
>The cultist looks up, irritated at our interruption of his work.
>He puts his knife to his own neck.
>"Better incomplete than never."
>He tries to slit his own throat, but Hugh swapped places with his knife.
>The Cultist's body freezes up, as if turned to stone.
>"Uh, Captain? Louise? There's someone on the other end... and its big... Oh no."
>A noose lowers down from the ceiling.
>No, through the ceiling.
>We try to drag the cultist away from it, but he's as heavy as a leaden statue and the noose follows him regardless of where we move him.
>Try to cut the noose with the Silver Key, but it cannot touch incorporeal objects.
>Neither can Captain Hawthorne's cutlass.
>We can only watch as it settles around the cultist's neck, and tightens, before yanking his body upward, snapping his neck.
>We would not learn this for some time, but the same thing happened to ever survivor of the enemy forces.
>It would have happened to the slaves as well, but breaking their chains freed them from the ritual.
>The licker out, and the circle glows.
>Captain Hawthorne freezes like a statue, and something looms over us in steel-grey robes.
>"Who are you who have summoned me?"
>>
I for one fucking love this, cause storytime fuck yeah, they're what brought me to the world of tabletop RPGs
>>
>>76554210
>The licker out, and the circle glows.
The candles flicker out*
how did that even happen?
>>
>>76554210
>I want to kill it.
>My heartbeat pounds in my ears the moment I lay eyes on that thing
>I want to rip it apart
>My vision turns red and my mind goes blank as some primitive, primal hatred washes over me.
>I want to hack off its limbs
>My blood sings for violence, surges with a categorical imperative to wreck its body, leave it broken and mangled, crush its skull beneath my sabatons.
>I want to dance atop its broken corpse.
>"I see that the Lady still trains her bloodhounds well. Or is that training so well ingrained by now that it runs within their blood?"
>The fact that it speaks in a mockery of the human tongue-
>(my precious humans, how dare he!)
>-offends me down to my core, but at least I can think again, hear something besides the rush of blood pounding in my ears.
>I almost miss the fact that Hugh is no longer shaped like Hugh, but instead a features humanoid being of white that glows softly like a candle.
>Like him, but to him what mother and I are to True Dragons.
>That makes sense, he was made from bones of one, by the hands of a Human smith.
>Wretched Angel, I want to kill it.
>But I know in this state that I can't.
>So I listen to it with glaring eyes that betray my heart's desire.
>But it doesn't care. Doesn't see me as a threat.
>That offends me more than its voice.
>It speaks of what Hugh is, what he might become if given time to grow, confirming to me that he is to an Angel what I am to a True Dragon.
>It speaks of its offense of how it has been summoned, and its desire to bring that which crafted this bloody play to justice.
>I scoff. What care does an Angel have for human lives?
>But as I am, I am powerless to stop it from leaving to "investigate".
>In a mockery of a peace offering, and a sign of its "good intentions", it entrusts to use one of its blades, an executioner's sword.
>I simply glare at it until it leaves.
>>
>>76551053
Seconding this. Its like patting a mentally deficient child on the back for drawing something vaguely resembling their intent. You want to reward the behaviour even if you dont actually want to interact with the creature
>>
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This is awful, like seriously terrible. Get it translated into Japanese and sell it to Kadokawa. I expect an anime announcement next year.
>>
>>76555286
>>76555583

As expected, only the highest of praises from /tg/.

>>76554885
>When the Angel leaves, time resumes.
>Now unfrozen, Captain Hawthorne asks why I have such a scary expression on my face.
>Apparently I was still glaring holes into the wall where it had been standing.
>With that damnable angel gone, my heart is stilled and I'm able to wrangle my anger back into control.
>I still want to kill it, though.
>We inform Captain Hawthorne of what just happened, and he looks troubled.
>While we're on the Island, he means to write up a report of what happened aboard the ship and send it back to the capital for Lady Avis' approval.
>He gets a very strange look on his face when I call her Aunty.
>We spend a while aboard the ship getting the prisoners treated for diseases and injuries they took during their captivity.
>Korgrir turns out to be just as good with a needle and thread as he is with a hammer an anvil, and crafts them all some decent clothes in a jiffy.
>Wind up helping Mare catch some fish for a victory celebration aboard the captured ship.
>Just one problem - a few dozen feet below the ship, an aquatic dragon is floating around, trying to keep out of sight among the kelp.
>A drink a potion of air bubble and take to my dragon form to see if we can communicate.
>Fortunately, it's not there to eat me or anyone else, for that matter.
>It's actually been following the Tempest for a while now. Apparently her boyfriend is among the crew.
>Okay, he's not her boyfriend, he's just a friend.
>Okay, maybe not a friend, but uh, an acquaintance. It's complicated.
>Point is she gave him a love potion when they met while he was on shore leave.
>The type of love potion that "seals the deal" for a romance between a dragon and a human.
>Mom gave Dad one of those, it's why he's a dragon now.
>Oh shit.
>Suffice it to say, her clan patriarch wants the potion retrieved before he drinks it.
>Apparently the guy didn't even know that she's a dragon.
>Quest Accepted!
>>
I am physically retching. Take this to /a/
>>
>>76556801
I'm pretty sure Pathfinder 1E campaigns are /tg/ though.

>>76555730
>Cook up a small feast for the prisoners and the marines in celebration of our victory.
>Lots of fish, plenty of fish, way too many goddamn fish.
>While I do have rice, the rice I do have is closer to Spanish rice than Japanese rice, and hasn't been husked to begin with.
>That's fine, polished rice has next to zero nutrition, and I actually kind of hate Japanese food.
>Except for wasabi, but most wasabi is just horseradish paste anyways so...
>We wind up laying out a spread of grilled fish fillets that have been gently seasoned with salt, pepper, and rosemary, letting the fresh ingredients speak for themselves.
>As side dishes, we set out platters of horseradish infused mashed potatoes, broiled asparagus topped with parmesan, collared greens, Waldorf salad, cold cuts, and a balsamic salad of chickpeas, red peppers, edamame, kidney beans, red onions, and carrots.
>For those prisoners with too delicate of a stomach to eat anything substantial due to their treatment, we prep soup, oatmeal, and other simple things that are easy to digest.
>While people are eating, a card game gets started where the sailors and marines put up shares of the loot, or items that are nice, but don't have much in the way of practical or sentimental value to them.
>Don't take part in that all that much, too busy helping with dessert and clean up after the little feast Cookie and I put together.
>Korgrir's too busy helping with the prisoners to do much.
>Hugh's too busy chatting up the necromancer that Vivian had been tormenting.
>Apparently I wasn't the only person who got killed during that fight without dying, though she has her fairy godmother to thank rather than the patronage of a dubious Outer God.
>Winds up that only Vivian ends up participating in the card game.
>Vivian ends up sweeping everything.
>Don't remember everything that she won, but at the very least she won a very fine bottle of wine.
>>
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>>76556882
>Don't remember everything that she won, but at the very least she won a very fine bottle of wine
The bottle of wine is the love potion isn't it....
>>
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>>76557070
Yeah...

>>76556882
>Go to Mare to ask if any of the crew have any paramours in a foreign port.
>"Oh shit, what did Alfredo do now?"
>Apparently the officer in question has a history of wooing women and leaving them hung out to dry.
>Calmly explain the situation to her, leaving out the bits about dragons.
>"Oh, don't worry, most love potions don't even work."
>Explain that this was has a bit extra "something" to it.
>"What, like alcohol?"
>Explain that no, a has something a bit MAGICALLY extra.
>"What else would they- ohhhhh, shit that was you talking to the aquan down there, wasn't it?"
>I hang my head. Guilty as charged.
>Mare and I run off to have a chat with the Tempest's own Enemy of Women.
>Drag him off from a poker game to somewhere with a bit of privacy.
>He very much gets the wrong impression of what we want from him.
>Nip that in the bud before he starts fantasizing.
>"Where's the love potion, Alfredo?"
>Like Mare, he thinks that it was just a harmless souvenir from a paramour.
>Unlike Mare, he doesn't know that Dragons aren't as extinct as certain factions claim them to be.
>I show him my true form.
>He laughs. Apparently draconic forms are popular with shapeshifters these days.
>The girl who gave him the potion could do it to, and she was just a shifter.
>Share a look with Mare.
>We both palm our faces in exasperation.
>"Look, if the potion is REALLY that important, go find the fox girl."
>"I lost it to her in a game of cards."
>Fiddle fucks.
>>
This greentext is like a car accident. It keeps getting worse, but I can't help but watching to see how bad it could possibly get. I'm disgusted with myself. Good work, CringeAnon.
>>
>>76558139
Isn't that the whole reason one watches Isekai anime in the first place. To be mesmerized by the train crash unfolding before his eyes, unable to look away.
>>
Last post for the night, probably won't continue this until after Christmas.

>>76557511
>Consider the quest failed because Vivian hoards treasure like a squirrel hoards acorns
>Mare thinks she can be convinced to part with it for the right price.
>Maybe one of our kidneys?
>Search all over the Tempest for Vivian, but she doesn't shows up anywhere.
>Even her favorite chew-toy necromancer hasn't been bothered by her since before the pirate hunting
>Wonder for a moment if we left her with the prize crew on the Pirate Ship.
>Would that be so bad?
>Eventually run into her having gotten into Cookies' larder, stuffing her fat fox face on smoked meats and cheese.
>The potion bottle is next to her, freshly drained.
>Some of her fur has turned into scales, because of course it did.
>And of course she just burps a cloud of scalding steam at us that nearly melts off Mare's face.
>She's gone before either of us could a say a word to her.
>Would chase after her, but getting Mare to the medic before any permanent damage sets in is more important.
>As we do, Captain joins us for the walk and reminds me that we need to pick an away team for the mission to the Island of Storms.
>Mare immediately volunteers to stay behind and not go within fifteen miles of that cursed place.
>"Sorry, Korgrir actually requested you, specifically."
>Well, she's fine as long as none of the creepier necromancers joi-
>I tell the Captain that I'd like the fellow who keeps to the Outer Gods to join us, crushing Mare's hopes and dreams into despair.
>The final away team consists of Mare, My Lad, Vivian's Chewtoy, a Cleric that Pen had befriended when no one was looking, and some dude Hugh had been hanging out with, who had the unfortunate name of "Guido G. Jabroni"
>Only good things will come of this.
>>
>>76541022
>>76541191
Nice duality.
>>
nice traditional game
>>
>>76558863
>To be mesmerized by the train crash unfolding before his eyes, unable to look away
What series in particular are bigger train wrecks than others?
>>
>>76559972
I hope there really is more of this in the near future.
>>
>>76563891
Arifureta: From Commonplace to World's Strongest

It is the pinnacle of dumpster fire isekai. You need to be a complete masochist to watch it. But it is a beautiful, beautiful train wreck.



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