>>73737103
Not a good idea, the Canoness and I are meeting in my office soon for a... "debriefing".

>>73737103
Depends, does your order have an oath of chastity?

>>73737195
I don’t think any of the orders do

>>73737103
does this count as qst?

>>73737103
Oi miss me an' the boys'll 'elp you out. Just darn our socks

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>>73737103
Correction: I am not a comissar
Also: Access = Denied

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>>73739223
Very funny Commissar Anon. Sopt pretending to be a techpriest and help me out! I saved your ass when the abbot was going to kick you ass!

>>73739481
Sure you can hide from the canoness, in exchange for some sugma.

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>>73739481

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Perfect timing! You can pay me back right now by helping me do my damn paperwork. This gloriously huge powerfist keeps me from being able to write anything.

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>>73739542
>>73739551
Do you want to spill the secrets to your men that you blush when he held hands for the first time?

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>>73739722
I don't have hands
My upper appendages have been mechanically augmented

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>>73739722

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>>73739722
My office is this way let’s hurry

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>meanwhile, outside the barracks

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>>73739819
>>73739858
>>73739818
Honestly anon is my danger an amusement to you? How are you supposed to be a father when you can't this kind of situation seriously?

>>73737284
>You will never mating press a Sister in heat

Why life

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>>73740007
>>73740038
Oh shit
Now there's two of them
Inquisition help

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>>73740038
wotz dis “fathah” think youz bringin up humie? Iz born by spoutin outta da ground like all propa Ork iz.

Y'all are a bunch of fucking heretics. You can be damn sure I'm purging each and every one of you.

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>>73740038
Wait.

WAIT.

I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER

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>>73740138
We promised to marry when we serve our time in this post... don't tell me you forgot. I'm not in the mood for your jokes, Commissar.

>>73740200
Sister! There you are! What are you doing in the Commissars room with your hand down his crotch? !

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>>73740233
S-siter Maris! I was only checking if his groin plate was properly adjusted! That's it!

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>>73737103
That depends entirely on what you did to earn her ire and what you think you have that I want.

>>73740438
Don’t lie to me, girl! Today isn’t groin plate inspection day. You know what the punishment is for lying to your Canoness, apologize to the Commissar for wasting his time and meet me in the chapel for your power-spankings afterwards.

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what the fuck is going on in this thread

>>73740647
the kind of silly shit /tg/ used to do before everyone got so fucking serious business all the time

>>73740667
It’s just generals and shitposts I’m pretty sure this anon is the same anon that did the mama5 story judging by his art style

>>73740684
its been a while since his last post.

bring him back.

>>73740438
Whatever you say sister, everyone already knows about you and the commissar anyway.

>>73740700
He finished his story on mama5

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Excuse me, canoness. The reports of the maintenance rituals for your orders gear are done. I need... I mean... You are needed back in your office.

>>73740743
Gears=Dildos

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>>73740667
I remember a long time ago I found some /tg/ character that had been in the ancient equivalent of a quest. Cute eldar girl kidnapped and indoctrinated as a human pysker, you know, the usual. I thought she was cute, brought her up a few times, and guess what? The artist was still around and interested in drawing more of her. He made a thread and belted out a quick prompt, drew a few pictures.

It was crushing to get such a visceral reminder of how much /tg/ had changed. Absolutely no one knew what to do, and even when I tried, newfag that I was, I couldn't make the magic happen. I'm still sad.

op pls

>>73737103
Alright but you must give me a drawing

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>>73740743
01001001 00100111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01101110 01100100 01100101 01101100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100110 01101100 01100101 01110011 01101000 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100111 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100111 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 00101110 00100000 01010011 01101000 01100101 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01101100 01100101 01110100 01100101 01101100 01111001 00100000 01100110 01101100 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110101 01100110 01100110 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100010 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100001 01110100 01100101 01110011 00101110 00100000 01001001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101000 01111001 00100000 01110011 01101000 01100101 00100111 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01101001 01110011 01110100 01111001 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01000011 01101111 01101101 01101101 01101001 01110011 01110011 01100001 01110010 00101110

>>73740810
Fun is taboo in 2020. Everything has to be buried under a thousand layers of irony or be mean spirited and bitter. I hate this

>>73739597
>Commissar Powerfist doesn't simply fill out comically sized paperwork sheets with comically sized pens proportional to his powerfist. Even using a keyboard for his computer with one side normal for his unpowerfisted hand and another massively sized for his powerfist sheathed hand.

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>>73737195
They all have.

>>73740810
Yeah I used to writefag a lot on /tg/
Modern /tg/ is just lacking that magic or appreciation for content.
So these days I writefag something and people just don't respond, its like pissing in a bottomless pit.

The canoness will never believe its not you if you're wearing your armour.
Quickly strip and hide it under my desk, then just lounge around nude and pretend to be a servant girl

>>73741823
Well, as a newfag, I want to express an appreciation for your efforts to rekindle the creative energy that this side of 4chan desperately needs.

>>73741846
Personally I'm inclined to say its dead. Gone forever.
All thats left is vestiges and choose your own adventure image threads.

>>73741846
Well if you want writefags to write you gotta encourage them.
They're an insecure bunch so if nobody says anything they're going to assume their work is shit

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>>73741034
01101111 01101111 01100110

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I sure hope my commissar puppet isn’t facing any distractions today

>>73741787
None of that implies much less states chastity, just hard work ethic and general solitude.

>>qst is that way

>>73741034
Please, you never gained access to my vault, your equipment is suboptimal & incomparable. The flesh is weak indeed. The canoness knows how to lubricate my input slots. You wouldn’t know how to do anything but grease your own gear

Only successful writefag recently was mama5 tg became a piss pool

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>>73740700
I'm back
>>73740684
shit you found me
>>73740810
>>73741381
I want to bring back the fun /tg/ not the sperg autists
>>73740714
>>73740556
B-but I wasn't Canoness, Commissar Anon aren't a thing we're just friends I swear. Right Commissar Anon?

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Who stole my fucking hat!?!?!

>>73737103
NAY, THE CANONESS DEALS OUT THE EMPEROR’S ABSOLUTE JUSTICE. SUBMIT OR YOU SHALL HAVE ME TO FACE INSTEAD.

>>73737103
>>>/qst/
and work on your art

>>73745643
you're the reason why /tg/ is the shithole that it is today

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CAN NO ONE HELP ME WITH MY PAPERWORK?! THE MECHANICUS ONLY SHIPS EXTRA-LARGE KEYBOARDS TO ASTARTES

>>73744272
I've never met this woman in my life, Canoness.

>>73740810
Can you provide a pic?

>>73739223
>apu is a member of the admech
it fits

>>73744272
You misunderstand Canoness, the sister here was helping me with my paperwork when I dropped my pen down my pants. She was just trying to fish it out for me but knocked my groin plate askew in the process.
We're all fine here, how are you?

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ooh ah
>where banana

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>Psssst! Hey Commissar Anon, can you do me a solid and let me hide away from the Canoness in your office? I promise I'll pay you back.

Sure thing, I could use some company as I clean off the blood of heretics from my combat uniform

>>73737103
All fine come in

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>>73742989

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>>73751294
it only states chaste specifically once, which has meanings that apply to sisters beyond sexual chastity.

It can mean unadorned, bare, simple, undecorated.

The arguement can still be made that sisters love fat cocks

>>73751456
Maybe their love of cock is because they’re chaste.

Why do /tg/ hate silly stuff now?

>>73751904
Fun was outlawed

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>>73751904

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Hmmm, can I be set free now? I already told you guys I've messed up with the ftl

>>73752386
You'll be free after you die xeno scum

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>>73752466
BUT I DID NOTHING WRONG

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>>73752563
THAT'S GONNA BE YOUR LAST WORDS YOU FUCKING XENO WEEB SCUM

>>73737299
/tg/ was better when we had quests

>>73747967
I assume they are referring to the Marcia draw quest, from back in 2013. Enjoy a look into the days when /tg/ still had some whimsy. And actually gave a shit about it's content creators.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=Marcia

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>>73752563
Your continued existence is wrong.

>>73753510
Are you still allowed to make those threads?

>>73753649
Not on /tg/ anymore, as it would be classified as a quest.

>>73753682
Quest threads did get out of hand for a while. Dominating the board to an extent that was grating on a lot of peoples nerves drowning out other content.

>>73751456
>Smut&sex lawyer

>>73753712
if there is any way I can justify the logistical penile pounding of a hot battle sister, I'm gonna go for it every time.

>>73753682
Things did get out of hand, but the catalog solved a lot of the issues surrounding quests as it was the post rate of quests bumping them constantly to the front page that made them a frustration at times, despite them not actually being a large percentage of the total threads on the board at a given time. The catalog solved that issue somewhat, as you could actually find things again, and the front page became less important.
Honestly though, I'd prefer a return to the days of excessive quests rather than continuing with what we have now.
/tg/ seemed to have more of a creative spark and sense of fun back then.

>>73753815
isnt this thread a quest? why hasnt it been deleted

>>73753815
Yeah. I used to writefag on /tg/ a lot then didn't touch it for probably five years at least?
Came back after getting back into 40k and the place is dead in comparison.

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>>73751456
Sororitas are nuns with guns or guns with nuns. Not your slaaneshi perversities, they are no longer the Brides of the Emperor but celibate and PURE defenders of the faith. You fuckin heretic. And no those Cain books do NOT count, that filth is propaganda was written by filthy mutants. A HERO OF THE IMPERIUM would not act in such cowardly manner. We follow the fluff dictate of F&F and Vraks/Xenology-era books. The Golden Throne be damned, it's always the same with your DIRTY kind.

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>>73754995
Sorry, I cant hear you over sister Maria's moans.

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>>73754995
>The Golden Throne be damned
YOU'RE THE HERETIC HERE INQUISITOR

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Commisar! Sister! It's a disaster! The chaos raptors and the Orks are both closing in! The canoness has taken to the field, but it's only so long until this whole position is overrun! What should we...

...Oh.

...Um.

...I'll come back later, sir.

>these lewd sister faces
Hmmmgh

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Make that 15 mins

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>>73756127
>chaotic screeching

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>>73755069
>Hereticus
Talk to me once you have banished a greater daemon.
>>73755059
I know who your are, Amniach and I purge this land from your taint once again. The Emperor protects.

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>screeching intensifies

>>73745643
>>>/trash/
and work on not sucking so many cocks.

This is the silliness that I missed in /tg/ so much thanks a lot OP

Primo effort OP. Fuck the naysayers, and fuck jannies. Your art is fine.

>>73756227

>Let me tell you something; I'm from Cadia and I say KILL 'EM ALL!

>>73737103
Thanks OP, posters like you that keep me coming back here.
And your art is good, don't let these cock gobblers convince you otherwise.

>>73755059
Sauce?

>>73742948
OR DO I?!

>>73757535
DYOHOHOHOHOHOOOHOHOHOHO

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>>73757021
fleatrollus. its tyranid shit, before you get your hopes up

What would dating a inquisitor be like?

>>73759227
She has methods to know if you've cheated, or looked at other girls, or taugh of something else than the Emperor

>>73737103
Sister Abagail. What, in the name of the Most Golden Throne, did you do this time?

>>73759263
So what happens when she finds out you've been thinking of her more than the Emperor?

>>73759360
the most conflicting blam ever

>>73759371
Alternately, incredibly intense, highly conflicted sex.

so if it's a thread that has the OP reacting to others does it really count as a qst? Not that I'm complaining this is the most fun thread on /tg/ in a while since that i'f primarchs had a mother' thread what did happen to taht thread?

>>73759417
Probably too loosely organized to be a qst, it has more in common with the greentext threads that have been running on and off for the past two years

The first two threads in the primarch/mother series are on 1d4chan and suptg under "Parchment and Bolter". It doesn't look like the other(s) were saved

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>>73739722

this is now a silly thread away from the "ironic" shit posters

>>73754995
If anything the fact that they're no longer Brides of the Emperor, but Daughters, means that there's no spiritual marriage keeping them hitched.

>>73759188
Nids? Now it’s not just my hopes rising

>>73740684
>mama5 story
???

>>73759908
I'm guessing he means meme50 but is too busy cooming to type it right

>>73759908
>>73759952
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/73461308/

some anon made a story about a perpetual becoming a mother figure to the primarchs

this thread is fun

>>73760020
too bad OP died

>>73760248
Then just put him on the Golden Throne, he'll be fine... Probably.

>>73745614
Chaos

>>73742989
Yeah, but consider the following, if they are totally devouted to the emperor and the order, I doubt there is any time left for having sex, and what is, if she gets pregnant?

>>73739722
>when he held hands for the first time?
And why would that affect me?

>>73760283

01011001 01001111 01010101 00101110 00100000 01000100 01001111 00101110 00100000 01010010 01000101 01000001 01001100 01001001 01010011 01000101 00101110 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000001 01010100 00101110 00100000 01001111 01010000 00101110 00100000 01000100 01000101 01001110 01001001 01000101 01000100 00101110

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OP here, few things I want to say.

I made this thread because I wanted to see the silliness back on /tg/ that we don't see much often. I'm really happy that it turned out this good. I plan to make a thread like this on the weekends, just silly stuff for fun. No bickering or arguing anything like that. This thread in a way is a declaration of war against the that guys of /tg/ that just want to bicker and be a shit. My mama5 thread went well so I hope this kind of good fun can continue. Back on the content, I'm very slow at art and I want to do the best I can. Anyways, let's have some good old fun 2007 style. Also, I'm a newfag. I need to lurk more. I know.
>>73759360
A-anon... you love me more than the Emperor I'm not sure if this is heresy or not...

>>73760339
That'd be kinda cool, an order that recruits from the daughters of their own members

>>73760366
When in doubt... ask yourself WWTEOMD (What Would The Emperor Of Mankind Do)? Or BLAM for heresy, that works too

>>73760366
Comfy.
Yeah. Thread is comfy, keep it up.

>>73760379
I guess this already the case, if something like this happens
But they would be sent to an imperial school
Was more thinking, what would she do, during pregnancy
Sister hospitalers and such wouldn't be a problem
But actuall battle sisters?

>>73760366
did you intend to draw the sister getting her power spankings from the canoness?

This is extremely important information

>>73760539
pretty sure that's nsfw and that's not allowed in /tg/ anon

>>73760539
No, worser
Ultrafisting

>>73760362
57 68 61 74 20 74 68 65 20 66 75 63 6b 20 64 69 64 20 79 6f 75 20 6a 75 73 74 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 20 73 61 79 20 61 62 6f 75 74 20 6d 65 2c 20 79 6f 75 20 6c 69 74 74 6c 65 20 62 69 74 63 68 3f 20 49 27 6c 6c 20 68 61 76 65 20 79 6f 75 20 6b 6e 6f 77 20 49 20 67 72 61 64 75 61 74 65 64 20 74 6f 70 20 6f 66 20 6d 79 20 63 6c 61 73 73 20 69 6e 20 74 68 65 20 4e 61 76 79 20 53 65 61 6c 73 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 49 27 76 65 20 62 65 65 6e 20 69 6e 76 6f 6c 76 65 64 20 69 6e 20 6e 75 6d 65 72 6f 75 73 20 73 65 63 72 65 74 20 72 61 69 64 73 20 6f 6e 20 41 6c 2d 51 75 61 65 64 61 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 49 20 68 61 76 65 20 6f 76 65 72 20 33 30 30 20 63 6f 6e 66 69 72 6d 65 64 20 6b 69 6c 6c 73 2e 20 49 20 61 6d 20 74 72 61 69 6e 65 64 20 69 6e 20 67 6f 72 69 6c 6c 61 20 77 61 72 66 61 72 65 20 61 6e 64 20 49 27 6d 20 74 68 65 20 74 6f 70 20 73 6e 69 70 65 72 20 69 6e 20 74 68 65 20 65 6e 74 69 72 65 20 55 53 20 61 72 6d 65 64 20 66 6f 72 63 65 73 2e 20 59 6f 75 20 61 72 65 20 6e 6f 74 68 69 6e 67 20 74 6f 20 6d 65 20 62 75 74 20 6a 75 73 74 20 61 6e 6f 74 68 65 72 20 74 61 72 67 65 74 2e 20 49 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 77 69 70 65 20 79 6f 75 20 74 68 65 20 66 75 63 6b 20 6f 75 74 20 77 69 74 68 20 70 72 65 63 69 73 69 6f 6e 20 74 68 65 20 6c 69 6b 65 73 20 6f 66 20 77 68 69 63 68 20 68 61 73 20 6e 65 76 65 72 20 62 65 65 6e 20 73 65 65 6e 20 62 65 66 6f 72 65 20 6f 6e 20 74 68 69 73 20 45 61 72 74 68 2c 20 6d 61 72 6b 20 6d 79 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 20 77 6f 72 64 73 2e 20 59 6f 75 20 74 68 69 6e 6b 20 79 6f 75 20 63 61 6e 20 67 65 74 20 61 77 61 79 20 77 69 74 68 20 73 61 79 69 6e 67 20 74 68 61 74 20 73 68 69 74 20 74 6f 20 6d 65 20 6f 76 65 72 20 74 68 65 20 49 6e 74 65 72 6e 65 74 3f 20 54 68 69 6e 6b 20 61 67 61 69 6e 2c 20 66 75 63 6b 65 72 2e 20 41 73 20 77 65 20 73 70 65 61 6b 20 49 20 61 6d 20 63 6f 6e 74 61 63 74 69 6e 67 20

>>73760362
>>73760576
6d 79 20 73 65 63 72 65 74 20 6e 65 74 77 6f 72 6b 20 6f 66 20 73 70 69 65 73 20 61 63 72 6f 73 73 20 74 68 65 20 55 53 41 20 61 6e 64 20 79 6f 75 72 20 49 50 20 69 73 20 62 65 69 6e 67 20 74 72 61 63 65 64 20 72 69 67 68 74 20 6e 6f 77 20 73 6f 20 79 6f 75 20 62 65 74 74 65 72 20 70 72 65 70 61 72 65 20 66 6f 72 20 74 68 65 20 73 74 6f 72 6d 2c 20 6d 61 67 67 6f 74 2e 20 54 68 65 20 73 74 6f 72 6d 20 74 68 61 74 20 77 69 70 65 73 20 6f 75 74 20 74 68 65 20 70 61 74 68 65 74 69 63 20 6c 69 74 74 6c 65 20 74 68 69 6e 67 20 79 6f 75 20 63 61 6c 6c 20 79 6f 75 72 20 6c 69 66 65 2e 20 59 6f 75 27 72 65 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 20 64 65 61 64 2c 20 6b 69 64 2e 20 49 20 63 61 6e 20 62 65 20 61 6e 79 77 68 65 72 65 2c 20 61 6e 79 74 69 6d 65 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 49 20 63 61 6e 20 6b 69 6c 6c 20 79 6f 75 20 69 6e 20 6f 76 65 72 20 73 65 76 65 6e 20 68 75 6e 64 72 65 64 20 77 61 79 73 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 74 68 61 74 27 73 20 6a 75 73 74 20 77 69 74 68 20 6d 79 20 62 61 72 65 20 68 61 6e 64 73 2e 20 4e 6f 74 20 6f 6e 6c 79 20 61 6d 20 49 20 65 78 74 65 6e 73 69 76 65 6c 79 20 74 72 61 69 6e 65 64 20 69 6e 20 75 6e 61 72 6d 65 64 20 63 6f 6d 62 61 74 2c 20 62 75 74 20 49 20 68 61 76 65 20 61 63 63 65 73 73 20 74 6f 20 74 68 65 20 65 6e 74 69 72 65 20 61 72 73 65 6e 61 6c 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 55 6e 69 74 65 64 20 53 74 61 74 65 73 20 4d 61 72 69 6e 65 20 43 6f 72 70 73 20 61 6e 64 20 49 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 75 73 65 20 69 74 20 74 6f 20 69 74 73 20 66 75 6c 6c 20 65 78 74 65 6e 74 20 74 6f 20 77 69 70 65

>>73760362
>>73760584
20 79 6f 75 72 20 6d 69 73 65 72 61 62 6c 65 20 61 73 73 20 6f 66 66 20 74 68 65 20 66 61 63 65 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 63 6f 6e 74 69 6e 65 6e 74 2c 20 79 6f 75 20 6c 69 74 74 6c 65 20 73 68 69 74 2e 20 49 66 20 6f 6e 6c 79 20 79 6f 75 20 63 6f 75 6c 64 20 68 61 76 65 20 6b 6e 6f 77 6e 20 77 68 61 74 20 75 6e 68 6f 6c 79 20 72 65 74 72 69 62 75 74 69 6f 6e 20 79 6f 75 72 20 6c 69 74 74 6c 65 20 22 63 6c 65 76 65 72 22 20 63 6f 6d 6d 65 6e 74 20 77 61 73 20 61 62 6f 75 74 20 74 6f 20 62 72 69 6e 67 20 64 6f 77 6e 20 75 70 6f 6e 20 79 6f 75 2c 20 6d 61 79 62 65 20 79 6f 75 20 77 6f 75 6c 64 20 68 61 76 65 20 68 65 6c 64 20 79 6f 75 72 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 20 74 6f 6e 67 75 65 2e 20 42 75 74 20 79 6f 75 20 63 6f 75 6c 64 6e 27 74 2c 20 79 6f 75 20 64 69 64 6e 27 74 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 6e 6f 77 20 79 6f 75 27 72 65 20 70 61 79 69 6e 67 20 74 68 65 20 70 72 69 63 65 2c 20 79 6f 75 20 67 6f 64 64 61 6d 6e 20 69 64 69 6f 74 2e 20 49 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 73 68 69 74 20 66 75 72 79 20 61 6c 6c 20 6f 76 65 72 20 79 6f 75 20 61 6e 64 20 79 6f 75 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 64 72 6f 77 6e 20 69 6e 20 69 74 2e 20 59 6f 75 27 72 65 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 20 64 65 61 64 2c 20 6b 69 64 64 6f 2e

Imagine trying to RP on an anonymous fucking imageboard
>muh oc, muh old /tg/
If making a containment board for it didn't make it crystal fucking clear that your shitposting was never wanted here, you're hopeless and you need to fuck off all the way back to Gaia

>>73760613
this is way better that generalfags constantly at eachother's throats in their shitty threads for games they dont even like.

This is pretty damn far from shitposting

>>73760613
imagine not having fun and want to ruin for everyone else, don't be that guy

>>73760576
>>73760584
>>73760593

41 43 43 45 53 53 2e 20 44 45 4e 49 45 45 45 45 45 45 45 45 45 45 44 2e

>>73760511
Normally it's orphans who are sent to the imperial schools, no? I was thinking about an order that actively encourages sisters to bear children. Battle sisters who wish to retire themselves from battle or that are between campaigns will have to give birth to children. Also the sins of the mother are her daughter's sins, and vice versa. If one is deemed guilty of being a repentia, so is the rest of her direct ancestral line. Perhaps each sister would have a quota of daughters to have. If the quota hasn't been reached before a mother's death, her daughter will have to fulfill it as well as her own.

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>>73760539
OP here, there you go

>>73760960
legendary

>>73760960
Canoness! The Emperor has graced the human bodyframe with hands for such fonction! Dare you deny his vision with the use of proxies such as this tool?! I want you to do it right! Now let's do it again, on the side, right after I get myself a sandwich!

>>73761012
Shut up Sister Maris no one asked for you stupid opinion

>>73760960
Someone give me some stats on that powerpaddle.

>>73761086
No one asked yours either sister Selene! Also fetch me a sandwich!

>>73753510
>2013

Holy shit

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>>73750312
o-ok guardsman just be a little more gentle when you rape me this time...
baby ogryns the lot of you I swear

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ALL MY PAPERWORK IS LATE AAAAAH

>>73760960
Nice

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>>73737103

WHAT'S THAT SISTER? YOU WANT TO PUT CANNONS IN MY OFFICE?

SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THIS WHITESHIELD'S TEARS

>>73762558
Luth is soulless enough to be a blank.

>>73752386
Uhhh, this tau standing in familliar pose, but i can't remember where i seen this.

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>>73760960

>>73760960
damn that's gotta be bad if she can feel it through her power armor

>>73763162
It's the massive pauldron stance.

>>73763354
No, I seen this pose in some game... Wolfenstein?

>>73763437
Looks more like battlefield 3 to me

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>>73760960
OP has been delivering for this entire thread. Excellent work.

Allow me to drag an ancient meme out of the depths of 4Chan history, for old time's sake.

>>73760646
Funny you should say that, you killed a worthwhile thread for this

>>73760647
There was a board created specifically so that your "fun" would stop shitting up /tg/

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>>73761322
Man, I like this. Can we make this a /teeg/ character? A stressed-out Commissar just trying to fill out his paperwork, but can't due to his giant power fist? Maybe with an overcaffeinated Ratling assistant that's not much help on account of being illiterate?

COMMISSAR PAPERPUSHER'S GLORIOUS QUEST TO FIND AN ASTARTES-GRADE XXL KEYBOARD SO HE CAN FILL OUT HIS REQUISITION FORM FOR AN ADMECH GOON TO GET THIS *FUCKING* FIST OFF HIS ARM.

>>73763895
>Can we make this a /teeg/ character?
And just like that, you killed it.

Anyway all Sisters are lesbians. This is irrefutable canon(ess).

>>73760366
>I made this thread because I wanted to see the silliness back on /tg/ that we don't see much often.
Thank you for making this thread, but at the same time, the REASON why we don't have silly threads like these is because they're technically quest threads, and those have been banned from this board for years.

I don't agree with that decision, but that's why.

>>73761286
how dare you post my boy gaunt like that

>>73764044
>>73764068
>>73764080
CUTE

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>>73750312

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>>73764109

>>73737195
yes

>>73760366
not really a regular on /tg/ but threads like these are why i decided to visit in the first place

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>>73764136
Not anymore
[generic laugh soundtrack plays in the distance]

this thread is pretty alright

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Thinking of power-fist commissar, it'd be kind of funny to see a cogboy struggling to write with a pen or quill. All the while muttering and swearing in binary about who even writes MANUALLY these days?!
You just tap into the local network, physically dock an omni-adaptor into the device or if you really have to, type manually. Writing gothic with a pen? With a hand?! How do menials even manage this!
Why didn't I replace an arm with an auto-quill? Nooo, I just HAD to get a new rebreather augment to look like the Magos! Now I'm trying to do this and all the letters are bunching up wrong and they're uneven and it's all going wrong!

>>73759188
Fuck.

>>73759188
>searched through ten pages of shitty western fetish and furry art and still couldn't find it
You could've told me it wouldn't be worth it.

>>73737284
So what happened when battle sisters get preggers?

>>73760366
Your doing good work, drawfag. Any effort to brighten someones day, no matter how small or silly, is effort spent well.

>>73761191
Fuck you Sister Maris I know you use dark vox-net to see nubile young eldar shotas. Get out of this thread

>>73737103
Emperor's mercy, what did you do this time?

There's an administarum robe in the closet, just change into that, grab a data pad, and we'll do a surprise inspection on one of the companies well away from the convent while she cooks off.

>>73765271
the become battle mommys

>be me
>new sororitas
>Sister Ann
>there’s this imperial guard cook named Gordonius Ramsius
>he called the canoness a cunt for not washing her hand before eating
>the commissar let him go
>whywhathow.parchment
>anyone ever met this guy before?

>ITT we pretend to be Sisters of Battle calling each other out for their heretical actions

>>73767139
Sounds like a party game. The loser gets shot with goo gun or something.

>>73767186
the loser has to do a dare

>>73767291
>I dare you to steal the canoness's makeup!

>>73748728
what kind of abhuman creature is this?

>people still spread the vow of chastity meme
One of the honors sob have is popping out kids (for the emperor)
It would be heresy to neglect their bodies

>>73760366
dis a gud bread anon, good job

>>73767489
Jokaero

Idiot savant alien speices. No known language but leave them in a room full of broken down lasguns and they'll manufacture a super mini-las-cannon that can fit on your ring finger.

>>73767474
>Emperor no I dare you to call the Canoness a cunt!

Dear Sister Sally

I know it was you that took my sandwich from the fridge. If you're here reading this, you will pay me back for stealing my food you fat fuck. Fuck you and your cow udders.

>>73767962
>Petite sister is just jealous that Sister Sally is thiccer then her

>>73768050
I know that's you Sister Maris I'm going to tell the Canoness that you're on this heretical board then we'll see who's fucking laughing bitch

>>73768084
Not if I get to her first you bitch!

Sisters please don't fight

>>73768397
No one cares about what you think Sister Maribelle. Fuck off back to reading your heretical lewd parchment

>>73768433
MAYBE I WILL

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>>73759647

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I heard shouting! Are we under attack? Do we finally get to engage in conquest in His glorious name again!?

>>73768537
this is a sister only thread cocks or gtfo

>>73766447
Am not! It's heretical content that our group seized from a traitor inquisitor! I am in charge of analyzing it!

>>73767698
>You have to do my dare first sister Layla! Plus I'd rather pick truth than do that!

>>73768084
I'm doing the Emperor's work on this board you double-chinned whore! Tell me why I shouldn't tell the canoness about your Loyalist-Only vox-net account?

Umm Cannoness, theoretically, just theoretically, what would happen to a sister if she, lets say have fallen for gunner Freidricksen of the 43rd Heavy Support regiment?

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>>73768565
A what? That doesn't sound like any formation that I know of.

>>73768665
What you call me heretical flat tits?
>>73768672
girl you better keep that secret cause if the cannoness doesn't kill your boy toy the commissar will

>>73768672
she'd probably tell you to get better taste in men

>>73768672
Sister Nema is a whore and steals men from other sisters

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>>73768565

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>>73764722
you asked for the sauce, and I provided

>>73768728
What? Can't hear me over all the cocks your stuffing yourself with? Or is it the crumbs from the kitchen? Whichever goes to your face double-chins!

>>73768672
I knew you were into dorks, but girl, like really?! You could do better.

>>73769005
I'll tell her you said that!

>>73769044
wait no stop

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>>73769043
>I knew you were into dorks, but girl, like really?! You could do better.
But he's so nice, and his dorkyness is cute

>>73769165
he's from cadia girl, you can find dorks like him that's cuter... oh wait

>>73769165
He talks with his mouth full and he can barely read.

>>73769244
He's a fix'er upper

>>73769262
He's a waste of time and energy

>>73769274
As a test from the Emperor!

>>73769281
you know what, I'm starting to think you two might be match after all.

>>73769165
Trust me girl, that boy's like a Krieger! He'll die in a ditch and you'll find 10 other boys that are like him tomorrow!

>>73769319
hey don't talk about my Male Model #6984 like that

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>>73739223
TFW you thought being assigned to a monastery world would be a comfy job but you never get any peace because the sisters keep using your workshop as a hiding place

>>73764722
I looked up fleatrollus 40k and a link to rule34 was like the 3rd link, you fucking retarded newfag

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>>73769422
>tfw the Magos left me here with the orders to "stand guard here while I go talk to the meatbags", and promptly died in an attack before assigning new orders
At least the sisters are nice when they are not trying to kill each other over potential mates

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>>73760960

>>73769478
>++REQUEST++: Sister Tibea, please stop making excuses to bump into me

HELP

My friend woke up with a ecclesiarch girl on her bed this morning and now she's talking about getting married because she took her chastity how is she supposed to tell this to her canoness? Asking for a friend

>>73769571
Gunner Freidricksen of the 43rd Heavy Support regiment, is that you?

>>73769509
>++EXASPERATED REPLY++ No, Sister Seris, I helped fix your flamer seven hours ago, and you want me to take ANOTHER look? I know I'm not a techpriest, but do you doubt my work that much?

>>73769631
This is Sister Hanna asking for help for another sister

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>>73769664
well, she doesn't necessarily HAVE to marry the guy, we can bend the rules a bit and just have her take a little vacation. She did break a vow, however, so there's gotta be some sort of penance. If she's pregnant the penance has to wait until after she gives birth. Not necessarily "get naked and kill xenos" levels of penance, but like, at least some flagellation.

>>73769770
She has to eat by herself in the messhall for one half Terran rotation

>>73769770
I think hand administered flagellation to the bare posterior region, for the duration of an entire hour, would be adequate punitive measures.

>>73769810
>>73769828
And then we'll hose her down with cold water!

>>73769828
>>73769877
In front of everyone to show what happens if you break a vow!

>>73769810
>>73769828
>>73769877
>>73769918

excuse me venerable Sister but the codex doesn't say anything about that...

>>73770023
We take vows seriously! If you have a vow of chastity and you break it, you should get punished by your sisters. That's only fair.

>>73770046
It just sounds like you want pick on Sister Jeanne because she’s happy and you’re not

>>73770071
n-no it's just really important we carry out the punishments! To keep standards! Yeah. That's it.

>>73770023
And afterwards, the oral sex!

>>73770143
we usually have ice cream first

>>73770143
We’re not gay sister lora

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>>73760960

>>73770233
oh- right..haha yeah

>>73770270
You’re not right?

>>73767504
>>73726554
>I’m not sure, what would a woman be more likely to survive, anyway?
>>73727653
>.... Birthing?
>>73728618
>That might actually be a good final trial. The logic of it being for the tribe that if she gets killed she'll at least have provided a replacement.

>>73770233
There is nothing gay in giving proper punishment sister! Also girls on girls action please any male! Since our Emperor is a male, we are pleasing him! Dare you displease our Master?!

>>73770342
If the Emperor wanted the union of two women we should be able to reproduce like a male and a female. You’re deviating what our glorious God-Emperor created us for. Being gay is heresy Sister Lora. I’m telling the Canonness on you.

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Sisters, I don't want to alarm anyone, but I think there's something suspicious about our latest novice, Sister Chan.

I mean, it's been three Terran months and she still refuses to wear pants.

I know the Repentia go pantsless as a form of contrition, so I didn't say anything. But that isn't normal, right?

>>73770406
Sister Chan isn’t a repentia she just got here! I think she’s lying to you Sister

>>73770378
You forgot that the Emperor has given us the means to enjoy said union! Plus he brought technology that nullify the necessity of a male in a relationship! To declare gayness heresy is to say the Emperor's design and desires are blasphemous!

>>73770342
Right! Nothing gay about that. It's our duty after all.

>>73770378
Ummmm, ackshually sister, forgive me from interrupting but that is not correct. It says right here on page 50,463 of the Lectitio Divinatitus: "If the balls and/or breasts do not come into contact with the other party, than it is not gay and therefor adheers to the Emperors will. You really need to read up more on your Lectitio, sister.

>>73770504
The Sisters’ breast come into contact all the time! Don’t be such a fag sister lorenne

>>73770504
don't make shit up getrude, go hump a book you nerd

>>73770504
Neerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd!

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Anyone got that picture with guardsmen humor? A sign that says don't feed the Astartes, a lascannon with 'heretic pictures, wait for flash' on the shield, stuff like that?

sisters don't be alarmed but i think there's a xeno among us. Don't look at it!

>>73770651
Don’t say the X-word do you want the dweebs at Ordo Xenos to come over here?

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>>73770651
Where is the perfidious xeno?

>>73770713
oh my god, she was right there.
>>73770676
Uuugh, no way.

>>73770572
>>73770617
:( you guys always picked on me ever since we were back in the Schola. I can fight too! And I only used a book like that once and never did it again!

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>>73770454

That's impossible, sister. I confronted Sister Chan about it during her Morning Flagellations and she said...

...well, she didn't really SAY anything. She just sort of cackled, turned her head 360-degrees, and then crawled off my lap and into a nearby vent.

Speaking of which, the vent in Spankatorium 3A now needs cleaning.

>>73770800
>>73770749
Sister Gertrude you heard her. Go clean it up.

>>73770749
You're gonna get hosed down again nerd

>All other girls tease Gertrude because they are jealous of her HH-cups

>>73770916
we need a drawfag on this, STAT

>>73770916
I'm not jealous of her fat cow tits or her ridiculous ass it's just because she's lazy and unfit!

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this is not tactical
this is a disgrace, how can you bring glory o the emprah like THIS

>>73770916
At least she's not sister Maris. Girl's as flat as a Repentia is dressed decently!

>>73770941
>it's just because she's lazy and unfit!

>she works out in secret with the stationed Catachan ladies so she is also a little above average in physical shape. She's too shy to tell others about her workout, so they keep on thinking she is chubby under her armor

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>>73770986

EMPEROR STRIKE YE DEAD, SISTER!!!

>>73771027
Did I stroke a nerve? Is that why you wear your chestplate constantly? To pretend you have breasts?

>Sister Chan was spotted in the Local Admech workshop
>Thankfully, well placed child locks have stopped her from getting into the plasma weaponry
>Again

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>>73770916
>>73770922

>>73770852
B-but I already cleaned the Spankatorium vents this week...
>>73770857
;_; please no, not again sister.

>>73771363
10/10 would want to get smothered by

>>73771363
Thank you based OP.

Can someone make a list of all sisters here and how to recognize them? Also are they from the Ermine Mantle?

>>73771363
Hello, Astartes? The Sisters are bullying Gertrude, but we can't do anything about it. Could you like...send a drop pod down and give Gertrude a hug? Thanks

>>73762558
What doth life? (life...life...Ife)

>>73771363
We need a picture of Gertrude working out with catachans to prove she isn't fat like the other mean girls say she is

>>73771490
- Ughhhhh, they're bullying grox udders again? you can't keep having us come down there to resolve petty squabbles. this is the 4th time this week that you've requested we send down a dropod to deal with some internal matter, Sororitas. Resolve it yourselves this time. Emperor help me, babysitting these hens is going to be the death of me. -

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>>73771490
No worries Loyal Imperial subject, we have already mobilized a strike force for this occation

>>73771610
Calm down, M'shen. No need to waste vital Imperial resources on trying to prevent the Sisters from killing each other. It's a waste of time and you'll end up making things more complicated in the long run.

>>73771610
>Salamander kicks the door into the Sororitas common room
>All the battle sisters are stunned and watches in awe as the space marine walks over to them
>He leans down, pointing a finger at the group of girls
>With a slight amplification to his vox grill he says "Be nice!"
>He then leaves, lifting the door back up and putting it back in place before he leaves

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>>73751456


Slaaneshi cult is over there heretic

>>73770974
she's good for morale
also some of us other sisters like to cuddle with her... f-for the emprah, o' course

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>>73760339
Ask brother Demetrius

>>73760613
>If making a containment board for it didn't make it crystal fucking clear that your shitposting was never wanted here, you're hopeless and you need to fuck off all the way back to Gaia


That's why you're never liked anon, you can't control your sperg from ruining everything you hold dear.

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>>73760960

Aim for the lower part, that place is the most golden even for slaaeshi cultist.

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>>73760613

>>73763972
Show proof of such blatant faggotry anon i double dare you!

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>>73769422
At least they aren't stealing the research cyberdongs

>>73772090
>They were stolen 4 cycles ago
Sounds like someone needs to update their optics

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>>73737103
'Oi there, humie. I made da fake Yarrick zog off thru da airlok and told him to come back wif da REAL Yarrick. Wanna sit 'ere and wait wif me fer 'im ta get back?

>>73772123
This is a thread for adepta sororitas only

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its over sister gertrude, we know all about your relationship with subway and love for extra mayonnaise

>>73772156
someone's got to keep their stuff running

>>73771363
Gertrude is cute! Cute!

>>73772319
not when they hoard all their power dildos as a leverage sister

>>73772349
The last time we didn't ration them out we nearly lost all electrical equipment in the resulting power surge

>>73772307
Lies! Gertrude is a pure maiden. She only humped that book once but has done nothing lewd since!

Fucking Getrude and her massive tits, it's not fair

So they feed them Sisters enough to get huge honkers, while we guardsmen survive on the processed corpses of our comrades.

>>73772307
that looks like a fine sandwich anon

>>73772466
should've been a sister guardsgirl

>>73772466
That's what happens when you have the Ecchlesiarchy as your sugar daddies.

>>73772307
does one know where I can find the rumored gertrude holos
a-asking for a canoness

>>73772506
I heard she hangs out a libraries

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Holy Emperor girls I just saw Canoness Sara hitting on Prefect Amadeus someone sent a holo-pic look!

>>73772506
Servitor #32.
Sub-basement 3.
Take the dataslate wedged in its backgrills.
Run and don't look back.

>>73737103

Oh Emperor damn it all!

Is the Canoness playing grab ass again with the new girls?

The Guard shouldn't have to deal with this shit! You tell her that Private Jenkins told me to tell her that her ass isn't the same anymore after that "Powerpaddle incident"

>>73772594
emperor's blessing upon you I have something to take care of goodbye

>>73770378
>>73770463
The Emperor is also the Omnissiah, god of technology. Hence, He invented artificial insemination, therefore, he approves of its use.

>>73772571
Fake news. We all know that Sara already pegs the Governor-General on the weekends. Stop sending us deepfake holo-pics you made using holo-shop, Sister Irena.

>>73772571
Huh, didn't know Amadeus swung that way, I know Sara as she smacks every girl's ass in the showers

>>73772571
i can't believe she has energy to go around hitting on new kids after what she does to the sisters under her. I guess it takes something special to be a Canoness.

>>73772424

She stop humping books because we got her an Astartes grade dildo

>>73772705
>>73772698
Isn't the Canoness like 30 and that new Prefect 21?

>>73772712
Its the knowledge contained in them that gets her off brother.

>>73772712
I stole it. To bully her, of course. Not to force her to come to me or anything.

>>73772735
>>73772712
are you adeptus astartes or adeeptus simpus?

>>73772726
You just go and ask Sara about her age. That's gonna go over well.

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>>73770627

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Cheers, all.

We need a picture of gunner Freidrickson and Sister Gertrude holding hands

>>73772764

She has access to rejuvenat

A hundred is the new thirty

>>73772743

No one cares about Sisters "Bonding" dear Sister

If you want to suck on Getrude's huge tits while you fuck the shit out of her with a strap on then no one here will judge you

Just make sure to praise the Emperor during and it's fine

>>73772863
nah, Gunner Freidricksen was getting together with sister Rosa. Getrude butted her fat butt in when we were talking about sister Hannah's friend who slept with a random guardsman.

OP here if the thread dies I'll make a new one titled Silly Thred I didn't expect to blow up like this

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>>73772962
You're doing the Emperor's work OP. Fuck the naysayers