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/tg/ - Traditional Games

>Be me.
>Be on penitent crusade.
>Be in random sector with some inhabited planets around that few outside the sector probably even know exist.
>Get distress call from one saying they got a few chaos cults that have just revealed themselves and started trying to do some warp fuckery to summon some demons or something.
>Bad luck befells the enemy for once as they seemingly by chance started this mere hours after we entered the area assuming no one could stop them.
>Still probably gonna get fucked over somehow though knowing our luck.
>Come brothers, we have citizens of the imperium to protect!
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Rolled 2 (1d4)

>Be me, Shitsquid Tzeench
>having fun with Lamenters by being the architect of fate
>roll dice to determine their fate
>MFW just as planned
On my way to assist, Brother, as soon as I'm done eliminating this bunch!
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters. (Op)
>be on planet killing these filthy heretics.
>mowing cultists down like wheat upon a scythe even making them retreat.
>this is going surprisingly well.
>follow them to finish them off.
>knew something was going to go wrong.
>I then hear an extremely loud sound. >Or a few.
>what the hell is that?
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>be getting massacred in ambush by chaos cultists.
>hear loud sounds from sky.
>I believe it is reinforcements.
>perhaps our luck is starting to turn up?
>I wonder what chapter they hail from?
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>Be PDF sniper on planet Ignotius
>Nothing ever fucking happens in this backwater shitheap
>Too small, resource-poor and out of the way to be anything more than a cartographic footnote
>Local regiments have taken to yelling BANZAI and screaming when making a charge
>Methinks they've been watching too many old Terran war films
>Finally got wish granted last week
>Unfortunately it's come a bit too true
>Now there's Chaos cultists everywhere
>Watching shit go down from the tower and picking off anything that moves
>Few dumbfuck Space Marines arrived and got themselves in quite a pickle
>Good going, lads
>Look, there goes the 7th PDF Battalion, screaming away
>Those Marines will never live this down
nice dubs and gif
>Be Civilian
>Put pineaple on pizza
>Entire planet is now on fire
>What the fuck?
>Be me
>be Lenia sorcerers of Tzeench
>be leader of one of chaos cults
>after years of preperations and tries we can finally summon a greater demon
>send order to start a rebelion
>everything goes smoothly until its revealed that those slaneshi fuck's had the same idea and apperently the son of the Governor, who was boyfriend, was their spy all allong
>and this caused a massive rage in some khornate freaks so their also revealed themselfs
>o and some undivided weirdos too
>whole planet is on fire
>hear that chapter of Space Marines are comming
>send cultist to try an ambush
>have remnants of hope that it will work
>hear that it actually went pretty effective
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>be me.
>be Chaplain Merin'tenga Of the Salamanders.
>hear that the Lamenters are getting railed by chaos cultists.
>immediately move to help them out, their pretty cool guys all in all.
>show up to a planet in flames.
>mfw just like home.
>prepare to head to surface.
>loading drop pods.
>fuck i hate those things.
>super fast orbital coffin.png
>instead grab me and some others gear up in terminator armor.
> not that pussy shit either.
>Cataphractii plate is for real men.
>Teleport in to the thick of it to alleviate pressure and save those already in combat.
>start smashing and burning cultists around us like a sledgehammer against peanut brittle.
>hope he's ok, i really like that guy.
>find Cyco Mercius getting blasted from both sides. Just like the first time we met.
>hes alive, that's all i can ask for.
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>be getting absolutely destroyed by cultists of all different types from both sides.
>reinforcements show up.
>and what chapter do they hail from?
>the best one it could have possibly been.
>our absolute bros the fucking salamanders.
>they literally just teleport right into combat in cataphractii plate terminator armour and start tearing them apart.
>my bff merin’tenga comes and saves my ass from those slaaneshi fuckers right as they’re about to charge and try to capture me.
>the emperor protects.
>regroup with my remaining forces and the salamanders.
>time for some payback.
>Be me
>be, Lenia sorcerers of Tzeench
>hear that reinforcements for marines show up
>o no
>it's Salamanders
>try to come up with a new plan
>Thinly veiled quest thread
>be me
>be brother Isfjell of the Dark Wolfes with bois on a trip in look for some good fight
>be bored
>be in some random sector for something
>heard that on the planet there are several chaos cults and some loyalists fightin
>hear that those are Lamenters and Salamanders
>o yea
>land on the planet
>see that whole planet is on fire
>mfw nostalgia from Prospero
>By the Dark God's brothers today we will have some good day!
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>be me
>Sword Brother Otto Jürgendimius
of the Black Templars
>Currently plowing through a Space Hulk, practically raping the foul Xenos aboard
>Get to the bridge, behead a Carnifex with my powersword while Brother Hoffenstein holds it down with his power fist
>Look out the front window
>Our Space Hulk is accelerating towards a planet, and fast
>Apparently some Salamander drop pods are too. We decide to brace for impact.
>Hey... Wait a minute...
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>Be PDF major of the local 7th Batallion
>We need a plan to fight back and prove we're not useless
>Small problem though
>Salamanders have arrived and everything is on fire
>The trees are on fire
>The tents are on fire
>The ground is on fire
>The ammunition for the stubbers is on fire
>Privates Trevor and Jeff are on fire
>Set ourselves on fire and charge at the enemy!
>Promote me already
>All 2,300 of us run out of the trees screaming BANZAIIIII while on fire and shooting
>Heretics shit themselves and run
>Cultists are a cowardly and superstitious lot, I knew it would work
>Now must remember how to put selves out
>What was it again?
>Flop, shop and troll, or something like that?
Are there any systems out there were you can RP a chapter.

Don't care if it's pen and paper
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>be me
>fighting Horus on his faggy flagship
>Vengeful Spirit, what kind of name is that?
>for some reason my wings aren't working
>write it off as warp fuckery
>stab Horus with my power sword
>power sword sounds an awful lot like a chainsword
>ignore it
>realize Horus is some malnourished cultist twink
>fucking warp magic
>see the REAL Horus
>he screams in a nasally voice "WE WANT TO BLEASE YOU"
>realize the Vengeful Spirit is on fire
>what the fuck
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>be me
>brother-captain of the Marines Malevolent
>hear the Lamenters are in the area
>oh boy
>hear the Salamanders are in the same area
>make planetfall as fast as possible
>command says the planet is under siege by cultists of the dark gods
>roll up to town that allegedly houses one of the major cults
>start spraying down anyone we see
>if they run they're cultists
>if they stand still they're well disciplined cultists
>ten minutes later
>town is reduced to rubble
>on to the next one
Damn it feels good to be a dickhead
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>Be me
>Inquisitor Ramsay of the Ordos Culinarius
>Imperial Tarot shows doom and sin
>Ship charges through the warp double-time
>Bounces off of space hulk, rebounds into planet
>Climbs out of wreckage, everything is on fire
>Sniffs the wind

I'll find you, heretic.
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>be me
>chasing Horus around the Vengeful Spirit
>He's screaming about "PAPA NURGLE PLEASE SAVE ME"
>No clue what he's talking about
>Suddenly Horus explodes from what looks suspiciously a lot like a whirlwind missile barrage
>Look over and see Perturabo shooting a small army of Horuses
>That's a lot of Perturabos
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>be me.
>be Chaplin Merin'Tenga of the Salamanders.
>be missing an arm from a very upset Dark Wolfe.
>Planning a new plan of attack With brother Cyco
>Decide we need to kill the cultists at the heart.
>we have to hunt down the leader
>Emperor damn it.pdf
>Well i have a surprise for brother Cyco
> Been spending my free time making this for him as a thank you
>What did i make Cyco?
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>be getting sweet payback with the help of my nine remaining intact marines, a few black rage marines and a bunch of salamanders.
>marines maelevolent, dark wolves black Templar’s and inquitor all show up.
>are you kidding me?
>just my luck.
>at least it can’t get any worse.
>I hear the ground shaking more than usual.
>fucking necrons start rising out of the ground.
>because of course it’s also a tombworld.
>I just had to say it.
>oh! A master crafted power sword? For me? The salamanders have to be the most kind and warm hearted space marine chapter in the galaxy.
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>see dark wolfe take off brother Merin’Tenga’s arm.
>decapitate that filthy fucking traitor marine faster than a white scar on warp dust driving a land speeder by using the master crafted power sword Merin’Tenga just gave me.
>Be me
>be, Lenia sorcerers of Tzeench
>apperently now buunch of Black Templars,marines maelevolent, dark wolves and inquitor all shoed up.
>whole planet is on fire
>and for a cherry on top this planet was a fucking tomb world
>what did i do to deserve such fate
>come up with plan that this bunch of Dark Wolves could handle my problem with those shaneshi cultists in a capital and this backstabing govenor's son
>send some cultists to secure the gate
>send psychic message to it seams their leader
>gods i hope this will work things can't go worse then this
>be me
>Isfjell of the Dark Wolfes
>pacefully burning some city
>hear the voice in my head
>"Dear Dark Wolf could you come to capital city and kill some slaneshi cultist's they have lot's of wine. Please"
>capital means lot's of food and bear, slaneshi cultists means lots of good ladies
>hell yea
>go with the brothers to capital city
>there is a giant hole in a gate
>time for some good chainaxe job
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>hear that the traitor marines are heading for the fucking capital.
>also hear that the slaaneshi weirdos are already there.
>oh no.
>have 7 of the 20 original lamenter battle brothers, a couple black rage consumed brothers and pretty much of not all of the salamanders that came to help us left.
>alright brothers, the capital of this planet is in a lot of danger right now and they need our aid. We are going to get in there, purge the heretics and save countless lives!
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>see the traitor marines near the gate distracted and the marines maelevolent a good distance away while necrons fucking tear them apart.
>fuck those guys.
>black Templars also heading this way with speed.
>they must be gunning for the traitor marines aswell so we combine our charge half way and ram right into the backs of the unsuspecting traitors.
>they get absolutely destroyed.
>not even a single casualty on our side.
>head into the city and start purging all the heretics while the black Templars do what their geneseed was built for.
>half of them fortify the gate while the other half help us clear the city of heretics.
>we do have to remind them that civies are still here every few minutes though just to make sure they don’t kill any inocents.
>it’s going great.
>Be me
>be, Lenia sorcerers of Tzeench
>Dark Wolfes were fuckin massacerd
>try send a psychic message to space for some other allies
>get big headache instead
>hear that somethig coming from the sky
>o no
>be us
>small fleet
>see a planet full of food
>planet is on fire
>fried food taste's better
>time to nom nom
>be me
>Be Sword Brother Otto Jürgendimius, and my 15 Terminator buddies
>Lamenters are giving us shit
>Really want to bash their heads in
>Look at Black Rage-inflicted marines
>REALLY want to bash their heads in
>Decide to save that for later, and focus on inscribing our fortifications with litanies while some demon comes over to inspect them
>five minutes later, we're back to doing what we do, making the place look presentable, Brother Arnoldinous even painted a little picture of our beloved Emperor skullfucking Magnus
>He's young, but he shows talent and love for his Emperor
>Some random couple Guardsmen show up out of nowhere
"Hey, who killed the greater demon over there?"
>The Genestealers on the Space Hulk join up with the fleet
Oh noes
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>Be you
>They see me Lacrymolin
>They hatin
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>going back to check up on the black templars fortifying the gate.
>they’re already done!
>tell them that we all really appreciate their help and that I’m impressed with how fast they were able to fortify the gate.
>go back to the rest and thank them all too because they deserve it.
>get back to purging the heretics and saving innocent lives.
>Be civilian
>be eating pineaple pizza
>ship crashes not far from my house
>the crewis probably dead so why bother checking
>continue eating pizza
>be me
>be local civilian
>just got off shift at the deli
>swiped some meat and made a sandwich before leaving
>suddenly everything starts blowing up, there's space marines running around killing people
>chaos cultists, wtf?
>local PDF is screaming BANZAI
>throne on terra, I just wanted a snack after work
>be Colonel Commissar McConnell of the Amerigo 12th Mechanized
>we have finally finished our champaign of Arizonia Secundus
>The men and I are all to eager for a nice long rest
>just as we about to depart, we get new orders
>we are to head to some shit hole called Ignotius and put down some heretics
>them are disappointed and it shows, i can year their bellyaching and bemoaning from the Barracks 100 decks bellow me
>the transport begins its transit through the warp and in a month's time we arrive in orbit
>the emprah was Mercyful as we only been in the warp for two days real space time
>I order my men to board the landing ships to make planet fall
>i make a slinet prayer to the emperah that there wont be any necrons or tyranids and that with will be a quick and easy job.
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>Be me Nob Skullfukka
>we'z looted dis krooza from sum spikey boys we krumped
>Da Boss sez dat now he'z Da Boss an' Da Kaptain
>Da Boss sez dat we'z goin' to a big WAAAGH!
>but dere aint no been no Waaagh! for 3 dayz
>so I'z go to da Kaptain and krump em wif me klaw
>Now I'z da Kaptain an' da Boss
>We'z go by sum planet an sum Weirdboyz sez dere some Umies an sum Spikey Boys fighten on sum rock right ovar dere
>An' az da Kaptain i fink we need tah
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>Be me, adventuring knight warden Karolus Steiner
>Ended up on this world to buy some extra rare supplies
>While I was inspecting the merchandise, the situation on the planet went from 0-100
>It was just my luck, then, that I'm stuck on the surface
>Get into my cockpit, get my 3 men-at-arms in Armigers to do the same and fire up my knight
>Order ship to begin take-off procedures, get the rest of my levies to secure the immediate area around us so that we can evac civilians
>Barrel into the street with my men, immediately thankful that we aren't in the capital
>I can see it burning brightly in the distance, then again, the situation here isn't greatly preferable
>Mainly because I can practically feel the mind-altering powers of the warp calling to me
>It seems to be coming from the other side of town, somewhere on the west
>It is as if the powers of the warp have formed to create some sort of incomprehensibly powerful being in the shape of a bird
>Turn our little Lance around, begin sprinting toward the source of the corruption
>My men-at-arms do their best to keep up with me, they're forced to gun down smaller groups of cultists wearing blue
>Judging by them, I say we're dealing with Tzeentchians
>Worryingly, I think some form of necrodermis-based lifeform showed up on my radar just a few seconds ago, which means there are also Necrons about
>How dare they!? We were already engaged with another enemy! Such dishonour cannot go unpunished!
>But that will have to wait
>Get a lock on the wall of the building from where the corruption seems to be stemming from
>Raise my gatling cannon, soften the ferro-crete with a salvo before I shoulder bash my way into the large chapel-like building
>be me
>brother-captain of the Marines Malevolent
>happily going through towns causing collateral damage
>suddenly a bunch of necrons burst out of the ground
>get absolutely rekt
>survivors rally
>decide there are probably more innocents i mean heretics to kill in the capital
>we can probably slash and burn a few more heretic villages on the way
>hope nobody has beaten us there
>be Colonel Commissar McConnell of the Amerigo 12th Mechanized
>my men have landed many kilometers outside of the Capital in some rural farmland
> I quickly have my men embark their Chimeras and Leman Russ tanks, and order them to form an armoured spearhead
>with that we make our way to the capital
>the sparse heretic forces in the region quickly being trampled by my mechanized force
>We soon come apon a ravaged village, and from what we can see it's inhabitants were still loyal to the God Emperah.
>There is nothing we can do so we move on, adamant to make those responsible pay.
>We then come to another village, this one still in the process of being butchered
>by none other than space marines, loyalist space marines!
>i get the vox operator to put me on their comms frequency
>I promptly proceed to demand an explanation as a see some survivors run towards our formation
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>Be me. Tank commander Lurian Exaltius.
>Commander of the Doomhammer battle tank "Mercy", seconded to the Combined Reactionary Altercation Penitants division.
>Absolute bullshit, but hilarious bullshit, so it's fine.
>Can ignore most commanders, or pretend to not get their messages anyway. What are they going to do, shoot me inside this tank?
>Sadly, have to deal with crew of Mercy. My driver is half blind, my gunners are obsessed with shooting things, my engineers bitch at me all the time, and my comms operator can never seem to do her job, but she's a pure, innocent soul, so she at least gets a pass.
>Still, at least they're not the abhuman mounted infantry we got stationed with.
>Apparently they're called felinids. Basically cat people.
>They're needy for attention, fussy about everything from diets to hair, get feisty with anything inside five metres one second, then uncomfortably close the next.
>All of them seem to have some special need for validation or attention from me, in everything they do. It's gotten to the point where I almost miss combat, because then they won't be crawling around my station yowling at me.
>The only good ones are their commander, who occasionally remembers to pull them off me, and their engineer girl, who actually fixes stuff better then my own engineer.
>See we're dropping on some random planet with some Astartes activity.
>Finally, action.
>Now I just need to get my driver to start wearing pants again, and maybe it'll start feeling like a proper tank crew again.
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>Be PDF sniper Pvt. Catherine Morecambe
>Please, my wish is already granted, stop granting it even more
>From up here I can see everything that's going on
>There's now more Marines, and more cultists
>Tanks are driving around and crushing everything that's not already shot full of holes or on fire
>Necrons are climbing out of the dirt and shooting things
>Could be worse, could be Orks
>The PDF is charging around on fire and screaming at the enemy
>Credit to them, it seems to work
>Still, it's too early in the morning for this shit
>Take a swig from the bottle of amasec
>What do they call this sort of thing again?
>Ah yes, "target rich environment"
>The alcohol is starting to steady my hands
>Who to fire at now?
>That cultist guy looks important
>Say goodbye to your head, friend
>Fuck centre mass, I only deal in headshots
>I was one of the lucky few in the PDF to actually get a long-las, but I've got the standard ballistic rifle within reach too
>Some of those Necrons are looking awful close
>Realise I'm in my guard tower all alone surrounded by enemies and fire
>Hurry up and deal with these fools before they find me
>I don't want to have to make my bottles of alcohol into molotovs
>And don't get in the way of my shots either, unless you like eating lasbolts
so are we doing the photoshop/ms paint thing again?
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>Be me, Necron Lord Isoteph the ever-scornful
>Shitheel Overlord gave me my nickname, now he's nowhere to be seen
>Wakeup procedure activated, seems we have intruders
>And I was having such a nice dream, too
>Worshipers of the Empyrean it seemed to be, hairless primates
>"Humans" I think they're called
>Oh well, doesn't matter, all the same when they've been vaporized
>Why would they worship the Empyrean anyway? Don't they know that the beings in the warp just want to feast on their souls?
>I remember when I had a soul
>Now I have become sad
>Killing these fleshies will make me feel better
>Apparently there are more humans up above
>Some of them are kind of like Krork, but smaller
>A lot of humans actually, and a lot of vegetation too
>All of that has to go, since when were trees allowed on MY world huh?
>Order Cryptek Akkar take some troops and vehicles and clear out the big humans wearing yellow and black armour, or at least make them rout
>Akkar'll secure the point as well, that he will
>More humans making planetfall with a lot of big, tracked vehicles
>Going to need a lot more vehicles of my own then
>But first, I must acquire my command barge and my relics
>THEN I can really begin the purge
>And THEN I can go back to sleep
I couldn't resist doing that one, and I'll probably be doing a few more at least if this keeps going. I did like doing them last time after all. Whether anyone else does them is completely up to them.
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters. Since fortifying the capital and evacuating all of the remaining civies there orks, tyranids and some imperial guard have shown up.
>what next, sisters of battle?
>probably at some point considering everyone already here.
>finally remember the name of this emperor forsaken sector.
>decide to Vox all imperial allies and tell them to get their asses here so we can hole up and turn it into a fortress or HQ.
>some marines maelevolent survived apparently and don’t listen.
>good, they can get flayed by the necrons.
>ask the black Templars if they can really fortify this place THAT well.
>they say they can do better.
>emperor yes.
>release the black rage marines and send them in the direction of the marines maelevolent.
>to dangerous to keep here and I hate the marines maelevolent.
>start preparing for our allies to arrive and recouperating from the previous battles.
>be me
>one of the Christians in the imperium
>meet a fellow one named Ollanius
>hear about his death
>now he’s on every guardsmen flag as a saint
>be Colonel Commissar McConnell of the Amerigo 12th Mechanized
>The astartes razing the town ignore my vox call, much to my vexation
>as i am about to order my men to engage them, i get a vox call from one Brother Cyco Marcius of the Lamenters
>he says that he and the Black Templars are
fortifying the the capital and that all imperial forces are requested to take part in the defence
>i promptly obey and order my men to B line it for the capital and not to stop for any reason
>as we blaze a path to the city, we start seeing Necrons emerging from the ground
>order for the regiment to floor it
>and to shoot and or run over anything Necron
>as say this over the vox i feel a bump and metallic clang
>the driver must have ran over one of those shinny-metal-assholes
b4 bed bump
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>Be PDF major of the 7th battalion
>The Banzai charges have been extremely effective
>Start to think we've got the situation in hand
>There's so much fire around it's easy to set ourselves on fire
>Looking a bit singed, though
>A few unfriendly-looking robots come clanking out of the trees
>Who are these guys?
>Pull out copy of Xenos For Dummies
>Flick through pages to find one that looks like them
>Ah yes! Necrons!
>Copy of Xenos For Dummies is shot out of my hands by Gauss fire
>How very rude.
>Start to think we haven't got the situation in hand
>We're PDF, so all we have is hand-me-down autoguns
>They work fantastically against cultists, but against undying evil robots? Meh.
>Banzai charges don't work very well against enemies with no emotions either
>Corporal Woodstock gets cut in half by a Gauss bolt
>Good, he was an asshole
>I should put my incompetent subordinates up at the front more often
>Suddenly an APC bursts out of the burning hedge and runs them over
>Fantastic timing lads
>All our vehicles are currently on fire, can we hitch a ride with your lot to town?
>Be me
>Brother Vykus Mordius, assigned to the Deathwatch
>We get a report of a possible lacrymole sighting on a planet in the middle of nowhere
>Asshole Inquisitor wants it captured alive for "research".
>Take a kill team to the planet, hoping to find that thing in less than a year
>We arrive at the planet, it's a shithole
>A shithole on fire
>Apparently cultists, orks, necrons and the like appeared while we were arriving.
>Well, that only makes things more interesting
>Still, our mission is to capture the lacrymole for inquisitorial "study", so we search for it.
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>Be me
>Magos Whi Nrar of the Adeptus Mechanicus
>Get dropped onto a planet that apparently has had a chaos cultist uprising
>There better be some techs worth the trouble
>Make landfall with the rest of the Mechanicus forces
>Quick scan reveals that everything is on fire
>The forests
>The buildings
>The supplies
>Even the PDF is on fire and charging the enemy
>I bet the Salamanders are behind this
>Be me, tank commander Lurian.
>Be engaging the enemy. Heavy bolters, lascannons and stubbers firing off round after round as the magma cannon destroys all in its path.
>Given we can traverse while firing the thing at wide angle at close range, it's hardly a difficult fight.
>I'm actually mostly relaxed, despite the deafening noise and sweltering heat and lack of awareness. All my crew and passengers are distracted, though several are acting in a less then soldierly manner. Lizzy and Casandra are enjoying firing the heavy bolters a little too much, and somehow, despite near constant activity, both Jessica and Cassidy, the driver and the main gunner, who should be the most active, have managed to take their shirts off.
>I know it's hot, but those are to protec-ahh what the hell, spauling never happens in these heavier tanks anyway.
>Granted, I'm getting an idea on why the entire tank crew, and transport, is female. And why they ended up here in the first place.
>I suppose it could be worse. They have an idea of what to do, and can't exactly cause too much trouble inside the tank.
>The vox girl, a small and shy girl by the name of Emily, who fortunately still has all her uniform done up, tells me that there's a wide band vox signal to tell us to move to the capital.
>Astartes are fortifying the position.
>Tell Jessica to come to new heading, and just drive. Anything before us, we melt through. Anything to the sides, we gun down.
>See pic related.
>Heavy weapons gunner.
>Wants to use the command cupola to mount the stubber.
>Eh sure, whatever. Just don't fuck shit up and don't die I guess.
>Mostly just concerned that either the felinids have the same dress habits, or that my crew's dress habits are rubbing off on them.
>Eh fuck it, it's hot as hell in here, and I don't really care enough to tell them off.
>What's the commissar going to do? Shoot me?
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>Be Aeronautica commander Martin Dassel
>Getting several requests for air support and a request to deliver prometheum to the salamanders
>Dispatch a few wings of maruder bombers, avengers, valkyries and thunderbolts to deal with it
>Now relax while enjoying a cup of hot recaf
>Get an angry vox call from the Lamenters
>Angry because one the valkyries transporting the prometheum crashed on top of them and they are all now on fire
>Weren't they already on fire or is my memory faulty?
>Doesn't matter
>What matters is that 2/3 of the bombing runs were succesfull
>Add a cube of suggar into my recaf to taste the sweet taste of victory
>Be me
>Brother Sidero, Warsmith of Iron Warriors
>get astropathic messages from some undivided pussyes
>hear that several chaptrers are fortifying in one city
>seige battle...Fuck Yea
>tell Dark Mechanicus to ready the veicles and artillery
>time to show these corpse-masturbateors whose the best seige masters
>Be me
>be, Lenia sorcerers of Tzeench
>everything went not as planned
>whole planet is in constant fire
>hear that orks are comming here
>necrons are rising
>and some weird inquisitor scerams at everyone for some bullshit abaut food
>maybe chaos wasn't the best idea?
>hear that huge warband of chaos is coming
>be a litte less depresed
>it's Chaos Space Marines
>be happy again
>it's Iron Warriors
>o shit
>hear that they landed away from the city
>fast thinking
>they wanna lay siege on the capital
>fuck this, time is priority
>time to summon some greater daemon
>order to abduct many civilians and take them to lowest levels of the capital
>tell them also that they need to get governors backstabing bitch ass son
>no more fuckin araund time to act
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>Be me, adventuring knight warden Karolus Steiner
>Looking into a half-crumbled church of some kind, it appears that there was no greater daemon after all
>At least not on this level, because I think I can see a staircase over there
>The source of the corruption here seems to be stemming from some sort of large altar in the middle of the room
>Or perhaps its below that
>I am not sure, but I do not wish to find out
>Reel back my thunderstrike gauntlet and unleash a furious suckerpunch straight at the altar
>It buckles under the force of my blow and cracks, a hailstorm of chaotic energies screaming out from it
>Luckily activate my shield in time to stop it, the immediate area around the altar is turned to molten ferro-crete and heretics in but a few seconds
>Heretics around my ankles are screaming loudly as the altar seemingly begins unravelling, not being able to contain so much warp energy
>Back out of the building, turn my gattling cannon toward one of the load bearing pillars of this gigantic church
>Open fire, order men-at-arms do the same
>A salvo of stormspear missiles seals the deal, collapsing the pillar and sending the roof cascading down on top of the altar
>Hellish screams escape the wreck as I and my lance begin rapidly moving back to my ship
>I'll have to get a strafing run done on that wreckage once we're in the air
>Get a message over the vox, seems to be from Astartes
>They want us to move to the capital
>I shall first evacuate the civilians onboard my vessel in orbit, then perhaps I can consider moving there
>mfw a large spider-looking necron construct bursts out of the groud to halt my advance
>"You dare interrupt a knight of house Steiner from reaching civilians in need...!? HONOURLESS KNAVE, I SHALL CLEFT YOU IN TWAIN!"
>Be Colonel Commissar McConnell of the Amerigo 12th Mechanized
>As we run over a few of the shinny-metal-assholes known as necrons
>we come upon friendly forces
>PDF apparently
>they request a lift to the capital
>fuck it, order ALL STOP
>i get a little back-sass, for suddenly changing my mind about not stopping
>I do not usually punish my men for such things, as Amerigoans are like that and i have learned to put up with it a LONG time ago.
>I vox to the PDF troopers
Alright then get abord
>with the PDF abord we soon make it to the capital and un load the troops, both mine and the PDF
>Be me, Necron Lord Isoteph the ever-scornful
>Lightning field: Check
>Nightmare shroud: Check
>Phylactery: Check
>Resurrection orb: Check
>Warscythe: Check
>Bitchin' Helmet: Check
>Catacomb Pimp Barge: Check
>Operation destroy the topside fleshies: Go
>Akkar's mission has been a success, he's been ordered to secure it as a staging site
>Designate it as Alpha zone
>Urban centre A is currently housing a large amount of humans and appears to be the major site of the battle
>Some of the humans appear to be fortifying it, their enemies will likely attempt a siege
>Good, we are masters of siege warfare
>Urban centre B is being overran by red Empyrean worshipers
>Urban centre C is being assaulted by blue Empyrean worshipers
>C is holding out better than B it seems, which is precisely not what I wanted
>For whatever reason they decided to build it right on top of where we hade one of our Doomsday Monoliths
>As it so happens, a section of our warriors were still stuck around it
>I am glad we have a few more of those
>It appears wakeup protocol has already begun there and unfortunately alerted humans and immaterium worshipers to our existence
>What forces we have there might be able to smash the central gathering hub of the blue worshipers
>Wakeup procedure is live all over the planet, designating zones to begin assaults from all over
>A group of heavy human vehicles have landed on planet, we are detecting Orks heading toward the planet as well
>Urban centre D is heavily damaged but still holding from worshipers of the Empyrean undivided
>Urban centre E however is already mostly destroyed
>Send in the troops from Zeta zone to wipe out what remains of the Empyrean worshipers at urban centre E
>Take the forces from Alpha, Beta and Gamma zone to destroy the nearby urban centre D
>We shall see what happens in A, but D must be destroyed first
>It is a living obstacle for our most beautiful machine
>My command barge floats to the surface, greeting my subjects
>It begins
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>Be PDF sniper Pvt. Catherine Morecambe
>My position's toast!
>Literally, the tower's on fire
>Necrons are closing in around too
>A Gauss bolt severs one of the legs and the tower starts to lurch and crack
>All right, all right, a girl can tell when she's not wanted
>The only problem is how to get out of here
>Hear a rumbling noise coming from down below
>Trackjobs! Excellent.
>Grab both rifles, pistol, an ammo piuch, headgear and a bottle of my best amasec
>Run down the stairs of the tower down to the APCs
>They're all covered in PDF troopers hanging off them like in picts of the mag-trains of Ind back on Terra
>Hope they don't mind one more passenger
>Cloak catches fire on the way down
>Leap down the last couple of metres onto the lead APC
>Land like some kind of superspy from a holovid in front of some very surprised soldiers
>Oh yeah, I'm on fire as well, I should probably put that out sharpish
>These guys look pretty darn singed, like they've been on fire a lot
>Offer him a swig of amasec while firing at Necrons with the pistol
>He looks pretty stunned
>What, have you never had a woman on fire and with several guns strapped on leap from a tower onto your tank and then offer you drink while shooting at undying omnicidal robots?
>No, I suppose not.
>be Brother Sidero, Warsmith of Iron Warriors
>land on the planet
>everything is on fire
>send psycher to comunicate with those undivided cultists
>send scouts for recognition of the area's
>order DarkMech's to ready the equipment
>get message that those Undivided are holding but are being attacked by necrons
>hear also that their position is convinently close to positions of loyalists
>scouts came back saying that there are many loyalist's forces heading to the capital
>guard and PDF
>with tanks
>divide my forces into 2 grupes
>second(and smaller) will try to ambush those humans, vehicle's are priority
>if they succed we'll meet in a city
>the first one with me will try to beat those necrons and through cultists terrain will properly siege the city
>we can not let those metalheds get through
>cultist's position is our gate way to city
>so let's start
Can't post until later tonight, bumping for now.
Let's hope this turns out to be one of the better instances of this thread type.
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>Be me, adventuring knight warden Karolus Steiner
>The tomb spyder, as the pilots before me called it, has been split in two by my fist
>The warriors accompanying it have also been destroyed
>But these mechanical men will surely rise again unless the source of their xeno corruption is destroyed
>Alas, where could such a source be?
>No matter, to the civilians!
>Hastily advance toward the evac zone
>My infantry levies are doing all they can with the equipment that they have
>I have equipped them to the best of my ability, yet they have taken some casualties
>I cannot retreat now however, I must first punish the Necron's for their assault on this world
>Drawing on past experience, the Necrons are using great machines known as monoliths to assault this city
>If I managed to destroy one of them, which I should be able to with some effort, I could slow down the enemy assault
>As the shuttle begins preparing for takeoff, I notice something massive appear on my radar
>In the distance, toward the centre of town, it appears that some great construct has appeared from out of the aether, towering over even myself
>No doubt about it, that's a Doomsday monolith
>It's out of range by a couple 100 meters
>I can now either retreat to safety and perhaps fight more fruitfully elsewhere
>Or, I can do what a knight of house Steiner is honour bound to do, and slay the beast
>Herd the rest of the civilians and warriors into my shuttle
>Enter my shuttle with my men-at-arms last
>Vox Aeronautica command, give them the locations of targets I would like to have bombed before I perform what is part of my duty
>The shuttle takes off as fast as it can
>As we get close to the Doomsday monolith, I take time to mentally prepare
>One of my predecessors died doing exactly this sort of thing, but not via the fall
>We pass close to the monolith and with a great leap I perform the manoeuvre
>Death from above!
>Smash feet first into the Doomsday monolith
>be me
>Be Heretek Sazana Zaruwka of Dark Mechanicum
>be here mostly beacuse Iron Warriors are actualy open-minded for some new technology
>but they are assholes with issiues nonthenless
>stayed because somebody had to look after their gear and one Warrio who had some levels of decency
>after a few decades after one of the sieges he decided to give me a prasent
>a bloody Questoris Pattern Knight
>or Knight Despoiler, like those loyalist's like to call it
>at first it even had a pilot on my command
>fuck him, my knight, i drive
>after some trials and mistackes finnaly learn how to drive
>time passes our boss call's us to ready the machines
>we land on the palnet where everything is on fire and practicaly every one heads to capital city
>apperently there are necrons too
>Warsmith Sidero orders siege
>ofc what else
>be be selected to second group to kill some guardsman that go to aid forces in the capital
>friendly Warrior is in the first group
>fuck you Sidero
>Warsmith takes also most of the vehicle's
>time to march
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Why are Lamenters the best marines?
>Be me
>Warboss Zagruf gutbitah
>Get ships in orbit
>Above Umie World
>Deploy via Teleporta with me Nobz
>Boyz drop in via roks
>Everyting is fiah
>What the zog?
stfu nigger I miss these
>Be me
>Remus Speirs, local mechanic and secret separatist
>Pro-Emperor mind you, just not pro-Terran-rule
>Me and a small crew used to share pipedreams of sovereignty
>Now we work with Imperials to keep our home alive
>Contract work with the local PDF used to be sporadic as their gear broke
>Then about a week back shit hit the fan
>Now keeping logistics trucks and APC's moving are my meal bread and non-organic butter substitute
>Working up a sweat under the engine deck of a Leman that's seen better days
>Whole shop shakes, lights flicker, tools rattle around in drawers
>The torque wrench I was using slips from the bolt it was purchased to, smacking me in the face
>Wipe blood from my eye to discover the new split in my right eyebrow
"Throne above, what's going on out there."
>Go to take a peek out the window
>More fire than I thought I'd ever see in one place
>Well, at least whoever's slinging the napalm avoided my shop
>Dark silhouettes fighting each other, some less human looking than others
"Just who in the fuck is fighting who out there?"
> Be me
> arcig'golthe'morti'dueme'sint'vulgus'asese'kaika'tome, Lord of Change
> Tom for short
> Diddling around in the endless realms of Tzeentch, performing some experimentation on the fabric of reality
> going to have a chat with good old Magnus the Red to check my math
> What a swell guy, I heard from a reliable source that he did nothing wrong.
> Suddenly a vortex opens up in front of me
> What in the un-euclid ballsacks of tzeench is happening
> sucked through into the materium
> surrounded by some gobsmacked "humans"
> so pissed i turn dozens of them into chaos spawns but they only love me more
> try to tell them to send me back but the sound of my voice makes them go insane
> show them my calculations but they start having seizures
> notaccordingtokaikaku.warp
> I bet >>72680311 is behind this
> and now a bunch of anathema-worshipping smooth brains have showed up in droves.
> not to mention a legion of soulless warp-killing murderbots
> and a butch of slanesshis even more disturbed than the tzeetchy bois
> And a bunch of green blobs
> and the shadow in the warp is giving me a killer headache
> now I have to slaughter enough of these fuckers to buy me enough time to teach these monkey brains how to send me back properly
> It ain't easy being tzeenchy
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>Be Magos Whi Nrar of the Adeptus Mechanicus
>Still on this burning heap of a planet
>Thank the Omnissiah for my augments
>Shame about the fleshy bits though
>Aid in reparing the tanks that have been affected by the fire
>Hear that a Titan is fighting some strange enemies
>Interest peaked
>Further reports indicate the PDF and some Guard regiments too have encountered this enemy
>Apparently they are skeleton looking
>And metallic
>Be Remus Speirs, local mechanic
>Me and the boys watchin' the battle go to shit from the relative safety of my concrete and cinder block garage
>Sure, it's not a proper bunker, but it stops the usual small arms fire
>The carnage is really something else, but I wish it wasn't so close to the shop
>I've nearly got the first quarter of my mortgage paid dammit, and I'm the third generation of Speirs to run this damn place
>Of course, as if some emperor forsaken cosmic power of bad luck willed it, a cannon shell rips through one of the walls
>Some sort of solid shot blew a clean whole in one wall before ricocheting off the Leman and up through my roof
>I just had the corrugated roofing redone last year too
>Finish grieving over my garage long enough to realize I'm not as safe as I had previously thought
>Go to my office up by the breakroom
>Get the autopistol I keep to ward off gangers, and a surplus flakhelm I've been keeping on hand
>Stop in the breakroom for a paper cone of slightly below room temp water
>Take another peek outside through a fresh cannon hole
>Things don't look like they'll improve any time soon
>Click on the vox receiver
>The remembrancer metal station I normally tune into seems to be offline
"Double fuck."
>Take stock of the interior of my garage
>Tools, oxy-acetylene torches, spare odds and ends, my four buds/employees, a basic Leman Russ MBT, some WD40, locti-
>Leman Russ, thank fuck I have an idea
"Mikey, you drive. Donny, take the bolter in the hull. Leon, you think you can handle the gunner's seat?"
>Clamber up the back of the tank to close the engine deck
"Raph, help me with the engine deck then climb in. You help keep the guns goin."
>Grab TC's headset as I slide into the turret hatch
"I pay the bills, so I'm the one who gets to ride in the big seat."
>Beats dying without a hope in this garage, as much as I'll miss the garage
>Time to go kill shit in the name of Big E and try not to die in the process
"Punch it, Mikey!"
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>be a small detachment of sisters from the Order of the Sacred rose
>be Sister Superior Marcia, no fuckin canoness cause why would we need a full military on a backwater shit planet?
>Suddenly, cultists everywhere
>Watch the entire conflict of Cultists being fucked with the PDF, the PDF banzi charging assisted by the space marines the space marines almost get dunked on rescued by the salamanders and have that piss stained chapter of known asshole space marines come in and level anything and anyone.
>At least its not the fucking Grey Knights
>Look back at my position,
>Ecclesiarchy ran chapel with about 30 sisters with almost half being from the fucking dialogus kids and the other half being novice advances who wouldnt know the sights of the bolter from the tip of their clit all here to guard some minor gold relics that probably got created by the big =E= yesterday, there's a sweet white power sword hidden in the alter though, rumour of saint Arabella using it at some point idfk.
>Look further down the chapel from the chapel balconey to see the lead preacher making a run for it with gold by the armfull,
>During a conflict this greedy fuck is trying ot slip away with minor relics in his greasy hands
>Bolter shot to the back solved that.
>Close the balconey shutters and order the low IQ SoB to stack pew furniture on the doors and make makeshift barracades near the pillars
>Make my way to the main alter ready to face whatever breaks through
>See something sharp and metal fall on the floor in the middle of us all
>Look up to see slaaneshi branded fetishiests fuckwits trying to rapel down
>Mfw we're battling on two fronts at this point
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>Be me. Monsieur Mostashio Twyrler III of Notanecronicus, collector of fine goods.
>Notice an escalating conflict which involves many interesting collectibles...oops I mean factions, who could potential damage more collec......um I mean heritage listed sites of cultural significance.
>Arrange for my servants from Solemnance......wait a second I mean Notanecronicus, to arrive and help preserve these cultural sites.
>Order them to take everything that is not nailed down, whether it moves, shoots or not.
>Write a letter thanking Cyco Mercius, Shitsquid Tzeentch, Chaplain Merin'tenga and planetary governor for their contributions to the preservation of galactic history but ask that their servants adopt more dynamic poses next time in order to better capture an authentic feel.
>Signed Monsieur Mostashio Twyrler III of Notanecronicus
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>Be a marine malevolent jump pack specialist
>Basically loot shit from space marine corpses to be painted piss color of our diet chapter later
>While looting get picked up and swarmed by some fucking necron scarabs and paraylzed
>MFW im apart of some giant space museum
>MFW i get put into some stuffy ass jar in the corner no where near the shiney shit I could probably steal
'Fuck you Twyrler you dusty space robot'
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>Be PDF major of the 7th Battalion
>There's way too many of us to fit in the APCs so most of us have to ride on the outside
>This doesn't feel very safe
>Convoy jolts over burning downed logs, embers scatter across the vehicles and Gauss fire, lasbolts and bullets are flying everywhere
>The whole world is tinged blood-red from the fires, gunfire and smoke
>Even the fucking sky is worshipping Khorne
>This REALLY doesn't seem safe at all
>Almost get knocked off the top of the APC as the turret rotates
>Watch where you're swinging that thing, you fools
>A flaming woman brandishing dual sniper rifles falls out of nowhere and lands on the top of the APC with finesse
>She extinguishes herself, thrusts a bottle of alcohol at me and starts shooting
>Error: talktocrazywomen.exe not found
>Sit there for a few seconds processing it all
>Fuck, I need this drink right about now
>Take a deep swig
>Pfagh, what is this stuff? Do you drink rubbing ethanol?
>Some bright lights streak through the sky
>Can't tell with this haze, so they're either drop pods or Roks
>Because Orks are just what we need right now
>Still, the promethium-fuelled hell is probably the perfect environment for Sisters
>Cresting a hill, the hazy lights of the city of Concord appear through the billowing smoke clouds
>I'll feel a lot safer inside those walls soon
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> be me, Farseer Lethendriel of Craftworld Biel-Tan
> cast the runes of fate
>scour the strings of what is, what was and what will be
> mfw so many possibilites
> cast additional runes to get clarity of vision
> the fates of many intertwine at some backwater planet. Why there of all places?
> Ishas tears, is there someone who isnt involved in this?
> whatamess.jpg
> the great devourer, the green menace, the necrontyr of old, the neverborn
> and Mon-Keighs
> i fucking hate Mon-Keighs
> follow a gorillion paths fate could take to find the one that screws up everyone down there equally
> there it is!
> smugsmile.png
> found the best way to turn this war into an endless, bloody meatgrinder, wasting the resources of everyone involved (exept us, ofc)
> especially the Mon-Keighs. Fuck them in particular
> assemble Warhost
> lead Warfleet to outer edges of the system and lie in wait.
> tears into reality open right in front of our weapons
> just as i have forseen
> lance-batteries, shurican cannons and pulsars open fire, while the imperial reinforcement fleet is still leaving the warp
> totally cought off guard, they die like flies
> Focus on imperial navy vessels first
> slow Imperial Bulk Freigher try to make a run towards the planet without escort
> finish of imperial navy ships and go in pursuit
> only three troop-transport ships make it to the planet
> smugnessintensiefies.exe
> fuck Mon-Keighs.
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>Be me, alone in the chapel with dying novice advances around me
>Slaaneshi cultists kept coming 'round from the rafters and eventually broke through the door
>Dialoges got fucking ripped apart and trampled on barely stood as much as a chance as a cherub left out in a warp storm, those were the lucky ones the unlucky ones got dragged off outside ffs.
>The novices gave a fight before they got ripped down, no survivors or those who were injured got fucking tortured behind the scenes so they're as good as dead.
>Im cornered in the chapel behind the alter about a mile away from the walls of the main city itself with slaaneshi cultists taunting me to fucking launch at them in revenge for my fallen sisters
>Mfw I barely knew them long enough to go full red rage, but still pissed about the dialoges
>No choice but to check the alter to see if they actually put a fucking sword in it, they'll get it no matter what so why the fuck not use it.
>Push the heavy lid off right infront of the cultists them all staring at me looking as if they're waiting for me to jump at them over it
>A white fucking blade with a red hilt. Its a sword. Yoink it for myself and jump over the alter.
>Its a power sword for sure, I can fucking feel it coming to life in my hands, more so the cultist fucks pissing their collective pants
>Mfw I fucking spin that sword at them like that arab from indianna jones and start cutting them down
>Realize after scaring the rest off im alone now in a looted and broken chapel a mile away from the nearest rescue with some old sword that has probably been in the hands of someone 100 times more important.
'Where the fuck are the Inquisition'
>Make my way towards the walls sword and bolter in hand
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Whats going on with the orks?
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>be me
>Lenia sorcerers of Tzeench
>ritual was succesfull
>we summoned some greater daemon
>HIS pressance changes most of my cultists into Chaos Spawns
>then makes the rest of them crazy and shows us some scroll full of fucking lines
>even more of us goes insane
>i survive ,by some miracle or just by >>72680311 shittery
>altough not entierly without harm
>my skin is blue my hair hanged colour, and i have wings from my sides, o and hornes
>The Lord Of Change now goes on the surface and propably will fuck those Marines harder then those Slaneshi weirdos eachotcher
>speaking of
>I might be blue freak but I wanna kill this backstabbing son of a Govenor
>i'm gonna showe shotgun down his throat
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>Be me, Necron Lord Isoteph the ever-scornful
>The advance toward urban centre D is going steadily well
>We have been largely ignoring the fires going on left and right, they serve only to distract our biological foes
>Akkar has diverted some of his builder scarabs to E, his attention is still required here
>What seem to be considerably smaller krork have landed some ways away from here, it seems an Aeldari fleet as well has entered the system
>It is as though they wish to rush headfirst to their doom
>And I will gladly oblige, as soon as my fleet can answer them
>The forces at E have destroyed what remains of the empyrean worshipers and the humans there
>All good, this leads into here and now
>Order my monoliths activate nightshrouds before a column of advancing infantry
>We have already deployed destroyers, warriors, immortals and so on
>Send swarms of Canoptek scarabs into the city before us to clear out the forward elements of the enemy
>I can see that there are big humans, apparently also worshipers of the empyrean undivided, making their way into the city
>This is good, in an urban area they will be easier to overwhelm with our corrupted brothers
>As our Monoliths batten down the buildings obscuring our entrance, I let loose our flayed ones on the enemy
>They swiftly begin digging themselves up to assault the enemy in their already defended positions
>Move the formations from Beta and Gamma toward their flank, effectively forming a crescent around the enemy spitting gauss weaponry right at them
>The monoliths grind houses and buildings to dust as they advance, unloading troops as they go
>Spyders and wraiths charge in on the flanks, engaging Empyrean worshipers and their vehicles in close-range combat
>As our attack continues, I see them
>The forces from Delta and Epsilon
>As ordered they move in on the opposite flank to our crescent, opening fire on the relatively exposed rear of the enemy
>Order Akkar move into position, our giants may slumber no longer
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>be me, Bruddah Tyronius of the Ultramarines Chapter
>be in the battlefield with muh Brothers, killing weird space techno-pharaozombies and shieeet
>jog into one of them, Gauss rifle pointed at me
>I raise my chainsword, ready to hit it and finally get back home to some sweet prayer&watermelon
>get gaussed straight in the face because I forgot to put on my helmet
>"he wuz a gud Neophyte, he wuz going to chapel to pray to the Emperor"
>die knowing that my chapter will get some sweet reparashuns from Imotekh
> Be Me, Tom the Lord of change
> I am pissed
> By Tzeentches Trans-dimensional titties i am so pissed
> Back when I was just a mass of soul spice diddling around in the warp, I almost chose to gravitate towards the old god of blood khorne, but NO, i just HAD to merge with the omni-conscious that is that diddler tzeentch and be spat out as a gangly fucking bird
> fuckyoudadyouneverdoanythingforme.chaos
> now I'm stuck here in the fucking materium when I'm supposed to be doing book club
> trying to teach these mortal shits the basic principles of sorcery, but they're all tripping over themselves to worship me
> theAnathemaWasRightAboutOneThing.heresy
> the only one not being a retard is >>72742415
> do a little bit of mind reading hehe
> 'parrently he really wants to kill the governor
> A wizard, driven with purpose, enough self respect not to drool over me?
> Thats the kind of free-thinking we at Tzeentch enerprises stand for!
> Give him a couple of """useful""" mutations; wings, horns, stronger body, A E S T H E T I C blue skin
> Not to mention a solid kick in the pants in terms of psychic power
> tzeenchCaresNotFromWhereTheFuckeryFlowsOnlyThatItDoes.warp
> That taken care of, off to go obliterate some astartes
> go to town on some extremely angry marines
> some marines on fire
> some marines that I feel sad about killing for some reason
> then I see those necron shits
> blackstone bullshittery buffering my beautiful balefires, boo
> not to mention they're annihilating my lil cultist dudes
> IHaveAnIdea.keikaku
> Start running and screaming
> necrons looking as confused as an emotionless robot can
> start punting them across the city with my empyreal fuckin' feet
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>Makes it half way across the broken fields towards the city itself
>Necrons is punted directed at me knocking me on my blessed ass
'The fuck just, what?'
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Where are the tau? We got everyone bar tau, I want my vagina faced pew pew blue bois
> Be me, captain Jamusan Kiruka
> These are the voyages of the Kor'vattra exploratory fleet
> It's five year mission; to explore new worlds
> to seek out new, hopefully less fucked up, life and civilizations
> to boldly go where no t'au has gone before
> signal to commander spocceru that we about to reach a new system
> Tell our Kroot security officer to prepare an away team
> It shreiks at me
> fuckendiversityhires.greatergood
> system comes into view
> see this shit
> Nope
> Nope
> no, no, oh hell to the etherials no
> "commander spocceru. we need. to turn this ship. the fuck back around."
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>Be Kroot
>Work on shit ship ran by tau overlords
>Give good meat so not complain much
>Munch on bone snack and glance at zappy screen
>Glares at many bad tribes many bring the ouch fire rain
>Get asked by tau fuckwit to prepare away team
>Shrieks at him like brood mother in birth
>Fuckwit sees monitor, look on face tells me he realize we fucked.
>Peel out of system faster then sparkly shitty old hue-man from green spooky metal man
bump for the bump god
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>Be Heretek Sazana Zaruwka of Dark Mechanicum who pilots a Knight Despoiler(cause why not)
>change of orders we're going strait on the city because a shit ton of necrons is attacking our main forces
>we're marching on the city a shit ton of necrons with skin on bodies is trying to attack us
>handle them pretty quickly
>time to MOVE
>second group with me comes close to Warsmith's group
>they are fighting some flying crabs
>taste the Autocannon bitch
>also be worried abaut this nice Iron Warrior
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>Be me, adventuring knight warden Karolus Steiner
>Managed to regain my footing after knocking that Doomsday Monolith into a building
>Took some fire from the creatures around it, not enough to harm me greatly though
>My shield on the other hand has been badly damaged
>I fear my Thunderstrike gauntlet might break if I keep hitting this thing with it
>But, whether it does or not matters little
>I will slay this machine, or I will die trying!
>One of our Armigers has been destroyed, the other two are busy with the infantry
>He shall be avenged, that he shall
>Reel back my gauntlet for another strike when it unleashes a sickly green blast of energy at my machine
>Though the shield catches it, it swiftly overpowers it and leaves me shieldless
>Damn it!
>Lay into the monolith with all of my remaining ranged equipment
>Fire a full complement of missiles at it accompanied by a blistering rain of gatling cannon fire
>Get a running start on the monolith and smash my fist into it
>It slides back for a moment, crumbling another building before rebounding and slamming back into me
>I stop it with my cannon, only to be hit in the chest with another blast from its gauss obliterator
>Stagger back, nearly losing my footing
>The monolith proceeds to attempt to crush my right foot
>Open up with my gatling cannon, trying to force it to move back
>Lift up my left foot and smash it with as much force as I can muster into the monolith
>It skids back a bit again, smash my gauntlet into it and send it tumbling through another group of apartment blocks
>Gatling cannon still on point and sustaining fire at about the same spot in the machine
>Come on, how much more can this blasted beast take!?
>Suddenly, feel my right leg get struck by a shot from one of the gauss obliterators
>Struggle to keep myself upright, nearly slam into the ground but manage to hold myself up using my fist
>Suddenly notice a MARAUDER COLOSSUS on my radar
>Yell "GET DOWN!" before I feel the blast wave flinging me back
>Be Brother Sidero, Warsmith of Iron Warriors
>they think they can ambush me with some skin wearing claw berkserkers
>i fought againts some khornate cultist who can do better then them
>we need to come ON cultists terrain ASAP
>hear a weir noise
>flying crabs and snake crabs?
>What The Warp?
>artillery in close combat is a bad idea
>be pleseantly suprised with help
>it's the second group with this Mechanicus bitch in Knight
>to busy to be angry
>kill the rest of the ambush with minimal loses
>hear that somebody said that i changed my orders
>be suspicious
>but fuck it we lost to much time already
>after a while come to cultists place
>be chaos cultist
>apperently also a cheif of this warband
>because last one was obliterated with a green beam
>situation is....shitty
>the necrons albous broke through
>lose hope
>and then the Iron Warriors came
>with a focking Knight
>order to hold the line
>Warrios beat those green skeletons
>go out to greet their boss
>be praised and then said that the Warsmith is now in charge
>fuck yea I am a terrible strategist
>be ordered to dig the trenches and hlod the line
>see a lot of tanks
>and artilery
>they gonna siege the city
>also one of the marines is weirdlo close to a Knight
>Be me
>Fuckboi Marcus of the Emperor's Children
>See planet on fire
>I'm going to rape it for Slaanesh.
>Deploy the fucking drop pods!
bumps for the bump throne
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>Be PDF sniper Pvt. Catherine Morecambe
>Laspistol shots are moderately effective against the encroaching Necrons
>Still takes a headshot to kill them, but that's not an issue for me
>Look around
>The guy next to me looks like the local major
>He's got a dazed look and his uniform is on fire again from all the embers in the air
>Pat him out again
>You must really stop getting set on fire, sir
>One of the APCs explodes from a powerful green shot
>Go a little bit faster, please?
>Convoy eventually reaches the gates of Concord
>Gates slam shut behind us as the town defences start to fire
>Take my bottle of liquor back and take a big drink
>You lads take care of yourselves, I'm off to find a nest
>It takes a small amount of effort to walk in a straight line
>There's plenty of tall buildings around, perfect for me
>There's a skyscraper sticking out of the smog that has a good view over the walls
>But first, I need more alcohol
>It steadies my hands, I tell you.
>be Colonel Commissar McConnell of the Amerigo 12th Mechanized
>on the way to the capital we are ambushed by some necrons
>we cannot stay here, we must reach the capital at all costs
>order my regiment to push forward and not to stop
>we by the grace of the emperor, we break through
>though we lose a few Chimeras and Leman Russ tanks in the process
>thankfully the casualties are small, less than 100 men lost
>with PDF losing only slightly more
>we soon make it to the fortified gates of the capital city of Concord
>as we enter i order my Regiment to stop and for the infantry to disembark
> I order my regiment to take up defensive positions along the wall
>with that all said and done, i got find whoever is in charge here
can we get some chad to make us a map plz
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>Be me, adventuring knight warden Karolus Steiner
>...I have a woken
>My body is in great pain
>I haven't broken anything, neither has my mech, but I can sense the pain of my machine as well as the pain of my own body
>It hurts to move
>Slowly I force myself to stand
>Immediately reading damage on my mech, everything is still on, which is enough for me, though I am damaged
>My shield is functioning once again and I managed to avoid most of the gigantic blast from the marauder colossus
>Issue verbal commands to my men-at-arms, yet I get no reply
>Look around for visual confirmation and receive it, my men-at-arms have been slain fighting over my unconscious body
>Rest in peace, Ludwig, Brant and Dreyer
>At the least they took their enemies with them
>Then only one remains to kill
>The monolith
>Already have auditory confirmation on the beast
>The memories of a previous pilot, Adalwulf Steiner, reminds me that Necrons can repair themselves from serious damage
>It appears to be repairing from the 10 megagram bomb dropped on top of it
>Level my Gatling cannon at its exposed energy core
>Open up with as much else as I have left
>The recoil is all I feel as the gatling cannon eventually chews its way through the core, resulting in a final blinding flash of light
>What remains of it explodes, sending shrapnel everywhere in a 100 meter radius
>Activate shield in the nick of time, stopping the otherwise inevitable shredding
>That was quite close, but I should have bought us time now
>I must hurry to the remainder of the PDF, we must evacuate as many civilians as we can, for I fear this world will be destroyed soon
>Get a move on, attempt to contact the PDF as fast as I can
>Jumping from vox-channel to vox-channel, no answer from anyone
>Eventually get a response from someone, a major
>It appears they're pulling out of the city with as many civilians as they can
>Tell them I'll contribute with my shuttle and begin stomping at top speed toward their position
sure why not, but first heres a list all the factions;


> Lamenters, lead by Brother Cyco Mercius
> Salamanders, lead by Chaplain Merin'tenga
> Black Templars, ft. Sword Brother Otto Jürgendimius
> Marines Malevolent
> Deathwatch

> Inquisitor Ramsay of the Ordos Culinarius, upon crashed ship
> Order of the Sacred Rose lead by sister superior Marcia

> Adventuring Knight-warden Karolus Steiner

> Aeronautica
> Amerigo 12th Mechanised, lead by Colonel Commisar McConnell
> 7th PDF batallion, the BANZAI brigade


> Dark Wolfes (legally distinct from dark wolves) warband, lead by Brother Isfjel
> Iron Warriors, lead by Warsmith Sidero

> Heretek Sazana Zaruwka on Questoris Pattern Knight (possibly a Knight Despoler)

> Tzeentch Forces, lead by Tom the Lord of Change and Lenia sorceror of Tzeentch
> Slanesshi forces
> Khornate forces
> Undivided forces

> Pineapple eating civillian (possibly the orchestrator of all these events)


> Tyranid Fleet
> Orks Orks Orks Orks
> Necrons, lead by Lord Isoteph the ever scornful
> Craftworld Biel-Tan, lead by Farseer Lethendriel
> Tau Kor'vattra exploratory fleet, lead by captain Jamusan Kiruka

tell me if I missed any
How about the Emperor's Children deploying Drop pods onto the burning planet?
>Be me
>Lesser Champion of the Emperors children
>Joined the bunch after leaving the black templars, fuck those guys seriously, I mean what am I supposed to do in a fucking castle by myself with nothing but a chaplain to beat my ass when I do anything wrong, fml up to the point I siad fuck you and left a power maul in that assholes skull and zipped away
>Side tracked, get orders we're assisting a planet wide campaign to try and take the capital, soundsneattome.pervert
>Give my snookems a lesser fiend of slaanesh I took from a campaign a couple decades ago a pat and I hoist myself into the pod, mfw I can visibly see him whining while the door closes as I get dropped from orbit
>Guess what, your never gona figure it out but surprise! Something goes wrong in our pod as apparently we get blasted by a gauss based weapon and get blown fucking off course about half a mile away from our target the city itself
>Out of the 6 in the pod 3 are dead including our jump pack guy, at least we got a apothacary, well honestly he is a bit too hansy so id rather not be groped as I die in his greasy arms if I get hit by whatever the fuck hit our drop pod, the other survivor is a standard barer, why the fuck would we need a standard barer anymore, who the fuck is going to see it when the closest thing to us... hey is that a battle sister?
Is all this insanity happening in a single hive city?
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Yes and around the outside walls of it, although I think everyone has moved inside the city at this point
and also tau gtfo'd out hte system
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You missed the benevolent contributions of Monsieur Mostashio Twyrler III of Notanecronicus toward the documentation of events, preservation of historically significant artifacts and collector of fine goods. Sad there is so little appreciation for historians and archivists in this era.
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And the cumjar marine malevolent kek
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>Continue my mournful stalk through the battlefield, I can see the scars from a battle here barely a day from when it happened, marine malevolent bodies, lamenters... are those salamanders?! MahGreenBois.crie
>When I was just a piss pad training novice I was onboard a vessel set cut off a heretical astartes ship, think it was called something children idk, turns out it was a ambush and it took a small escort group of slamander bois to save our asses from being split apart
>Anyway, those slaaneshi fucks wouldnt stand a chance in this battle, looks like these bodies had been looted too besides just basic ammo... whats that cresting the hill?
>My eyes see three marines of pink and black livery bounding down the hill in a sprinting pace
>MFW its the same cucks who almost blew me up on that ship years ago
>Its a greasy apothacary,a gay standard barer (why the fuck would you have one out here?) and a prissy more armored guy im guessing is somewhat of a leader
>Standard barer comes first using his flag as some sort of make shift thrusting spear, I go for my best golf swing as he meets me within range and fucking lop his head off, best for them then to wave around some shitty flag like a armored house maid
>They fall beside me and next up heading down the hill is the greasy apothacary, they're not using a bolter rather their fucking gene seed recovery device as a weapon, keep myself steady and...
>...its stuck
>I make a blow to his chest and he fucking slides down that sword like a slaaneshi slut down a spiked strip pole, problem is he fucking falls on it and the sword is stuck in him as he lays on the ground with the blade sticking out of his back
>and im left with a miffed heavily armored chaos space marine to strut over to me with only a bolt pistol in hand
'FML up to this point.'
Here is the map yall, critique welcome but keep in mind I can't put everybody next to everybody
>Be me, Necron Lord Isoteph the ever-scornful
>The flayed ones have done their duty, killing pockets of heretics and, "astartes" as they're called
>The command elements of this formation however don't seem to be dying off yet
>Instead, they seem to be retreating
>All to plan
>However, it appears one of our Doomsday monoliths has been destroyed
>How annoying, it will take us some time to reconstruct such a powerful machine
>Ach, no matter, on to the battle at hand
>Urban center C is worth less than what we've already deployed there, order the remaining forces in C retreat and link up with Zeta
>Designate what once was urban center E as Eta Zone and order our aerial assets prepare to launch
>Harrow the empyrean worshipers away from our position, across a detestible river that runs through this city
>Have Ghost Arks begin moving our units swiftly from one location to another, allow our spyders to reassembel destroyed units now that the Empyrean worshipers have begun escaping this position
>Herd them toward the rest of the humans
>They appear to have a large vehicle, a large vehicle I would rather they did not have
>What they call a, "Knight"
>Contact Akkar, request to know if he has been able to unearth our great tesseract vault
>He has not, but he's getting close
>All in due time, by then we should have chased the enemy away from this position
>I would rather they move to urban center A than stay here, but if we must destroy them now, then we will
>Order 2 newly awakened Tomb Stalkers assault the Knight, move my Command Barge to Akkar's position
>Arrive just in time to witness a Seraptek march out into the light
>Should the Tomb Stalkers not be enough to chase away the knight, then the Seraptek can deal with it
>Order the airborne forces take off and bomb the enemy
>Within moments, Doom Scythes and Night Shrouds are screaming through the air, raining death upon the enemy before withdrawing
>Point my warscythe toward the enemy as a Doomsday Ark floats to the surface
Map looks amazing
the sister is so fucked tho

not bad, but last i checked the Amerigo 12th and PDF has entered the capital

and the Necrons, knight, marine malevolent and cultist are outside

>am i missing anything?
>Be me
>be Chaplin Merin'tenga of The Salamanders
>Be preoccupied with helping the orbital logistics of getting the knight's ship to the ground while getting a prosthetic for my recently departed arm.
>Everything is on fire.
>Fire is ok.
>Everything in the fire is not.
>Necrons are waking up
>Inquisition is going on a culinary tear through the planet
>Tyranids. just, Tyranids.
>Orks are killing everyone and each other'
>Chaos is still fucking here some how.
>this is fucking annoying
>the capital is being sieged by literally everything
>this shit is getting real old real quick
>Planning to kill either the cultists leadership at the head or find a way to head off the Necrons
>either involve a deepstrike surprise from me and a contingent of Terminators from a mix of all the present loyalist chapters
>I consult the other Lords and a Dreadnought of our chapter for their thoughts
> personally the Necrons should be shut down as soon as possible.
Cities B, C, D, E, etc. are likely settlements built to provide industries that the planitary capital a.k.a. hive can't provide, like food, possibly clean water and anything not resulting in the workers getting high as shit to forget being alive in a hive.
Mapanon here, as far as I can tell the lighter circle is the hive proper, with the big buildings around it being the lesser hives, all of it constituting one big mega city complex.

the PDF is already here, right of the three astartes chapters

Map updates will occur after a few more posts
bed time bump
That Sister of Battle is getting raped isn't she?
Lenia is a girl
>be me.
>everything is fucked.
City is getting sieged by everyone.
>my last remaining battle brothers.., have fallen.
>merin’tenga and about 20 of his Astartes are left.
>The black Templars are all good pretty much.
>pretty much all of my allies are in the city and specifically with me One corner where we have a massive fucking fort.
>on the wall when I notice a single sister of battle fighting for her life against some slaaneshi marines... and losing.
>I refuse to let this happen.
>jump down and start sprinting towards the fuckers, master crafted power sword in hand.
>I have also named it.
>merin’s bloody gift.
>on the way see some angry crusader looking guy and tell him to help the sister aswell.
>he gets even more angry after I tell him about the slaaneshi marines and what they intend to do.
>charge into the fuckers and tear them apart with the rage of all of my fallen brothers.
>the sister joins in with us and together we stand un breakable.
>once we are done I tell them that we must gather any remaining imperial forces outside the fort.
>we do so and not easily.
>necrons are a pain in the ass.
>eldar want me dead.
>me specifically for some reason.
>can’t remember why.
>tell the sister and the knight what I intend to do.
>they tell me I’m insane.
>it must be done.
>get back to fort in capital.
>last remaining apothecary needs to patch me up before I do what must be done.
>I will be seeing you soon... brothers.
>Be newbie Techpriest
>Only have the barest minimum of mechanical replacements
>Get assigned to a shitty Imperial Guard regiment
>First day on the job
>"Uh, sire?"
>"The Vox caster has stopped working."
>"Have you tried to restart it?"
>"... Wot?"
>Can't explain how to work a computer to a backwoods guardsman.
>Press the power button, sing happy birthday in binary to it
>It has no meaning, I'm just timing how long it's out for
>As it boots back up the Vox caster begins receiving messages again
>"Oh Emperor! Thank you."
>The guard looks at me as if I were a magical, all knowing being
>Keep fixing similar issues by restarting them
>Worry that at some point someone is going to figure out that I'm actually not doing much
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>Be me
>Magos Whi Nrar of the Adeptus Mechanicus
>Be moving with a force of Mechanicus troops in order to "study" these metallic skeletons
>Mechandrites crosses they are an STC
>Suddendly feel it
>Pure rage
>Not the fleshy rage of the Khorne worshipers
>But the rage of the Machine Spirit
>See an Imperial Knight in the distance
>Its badly damaged
>Its rushing somewhere
>Decide our "study and recovery" trip can be put on hold
>That fine piece of machinery needs some oils and incense
>And whomever damaged it needs a drill to the skull
Why are quest threads still allowed?
>Be me, Farseer Lethendriel of Craftworld Biel-Tan
>still all smug because we screwed with imperial reinforcements
>new waves will arrive in time, ofc
>doesnt matter, the runes of fate said this particular reinforcement wave was important
>Beeing informed >>72744383 a fleet of tau vessels has entered the system
>Tau? Ishas grace, what do they want here?
>cast the runes of fate (i do that quite a lot)
>for good or for worse, they have a role to play in the unfolding events
>they try to leave the system
>send parts of the warfleet after them, not to annihilate, but to driven them towards the planet. No one escapes here!
>cast the runes of fate (again) and focus on the planetary battlefield
>mfw the Necrontyr are making serious progress. Have to reign them in. Scry the paths of fate for best solution.
>this one should work
>dispatch rangers and striking scorpions to grab the attention of the green tide>>72709402
>gonna lure these simple minded brutes right into the advancing legions of the deathless necrontyrs >>72759670
>should slow them down
>greenskins are always so easily manipulated
>smugness intensifies.
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>Facing down the barrel of a bolter, too late to raise my own I remember what my canoness said before I left for this backwater planet
'Superior, Marcia. Yourwork here and your previous conflicts have been recognized, your efforts are needed though assisting a apparent wary preacher in safe guarding a old and broken relicary site founded and reported to be quite... quiet, you will more then likely have no problems with its upkeep. Dont, fucketh this up.'
>'Go fuck yourself canoness' crosses my mind as this heretical marine seems relunctant to fire
>Start hearing like something relating to a ghost hissing at me... who the fuck is whispering? Why does it sound like a choir whispering and hissing at me? The fuck? THE FUCK
>Suddenly fucking >>72763390 bursts in from my immenent and literal ass raping as a group of lamenters come to my aid finally.
> I pull the greasy apothacary off that sword holding it in my hands once more, a marine seemingly called 'Brother Cyko' or sisso, he approaches me and I notice immediately a massive fucking dent in his helmet about where his crown is, before I say anything I hear a muffled shout of this marines name and we make our way towards the inner city.
>I finally get a normal bolter (sister sized) bolter to use which I strap to my back, this sword is far too valuable at this point considering it pwned serveral marines.
>Get gathered into a massive auditorium with several other imperial factions, what I hear during this meeting has me convinced this brother fucker Sisso is insane. I decide to stay with the vox operators, if we require re-enforcements then they must be kept alive
Still hearing quiet whispering from time to time though, im sure its nothing.
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>Be me
>Ultimate rebel, near the inquisitions no. 1 traitor to take down
>Fucked over numerable high ranking sisters of battle
>Turned even more of them over to the ruinous powers but those loyalists would never tell
>Tortured several inquisition members
>Onboard my own grand Cruiser, the Princes Kiss, thats a story on its own how we 'earned' that
>Have a astropath almost piss himself in excitment as he sprints full pace at me, he gets winded by one of my sub sisters with a punch to his lower chest, he picks himself up and explains a message he had recieved
>We're going on a crusade to rescue some of our brother fuckers and rip a planet a new one, lets see them try to out match a entire army of traitors, warp beasts and chaos energies running through our engines like hot plasma.
>And with that, we jump facing the wrong side of the planet
'This may take a while.'
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>Be me
>Stop sucking dick long enough to read on reddit that fourchan likes greentexts
>make shitty greentext thread
>MFW noone replies
>fuck it, i'll just samefag an entire thread then
>go back to sucking dick
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>tell everyone important or anyone resembling leaders of our forces to get to HQ.
>merin, the leader of the PDF, the SOB, everyone.
>tell them what I intend to do.
>after the apothecary patched me up I went to the nearest tech marine and told them to send out an urgent distress signal to all imperial forces.
>told him to tell them the situation and that we don’t have much time.
>tell everyone there that we won’t last until reinforcements arrive and even if we do the eldar will delay them and we will perish.
>I am going to buy time by announcing to all enemy factions a challenge.
>that their leaders all face me in single combat and that while we fight all other combat ceases.
>and that if I win their forces must retreat.
>so come and meet me at the city gates and accept my challenge, unless you are too cowardly of course.
>lookin at you, you knife eared whore.
>and you isoteph you skeletal bastard.
>mfw all the sounds of fighting cease.
>not many are willing to let me leave to actually face them.
>they all say I will die and that I would be a phsyco to face them.
>tell them that my name is the same word but my mortal parents were idiots and didn’t spell it right.
>”we need time. This is all I can do to buy it and if I don’t go there we will all die.”
>merin won’t let me.
>he is the last one not letting me leave.
>”I’m sorry brother.”
>restrain him and leave.
>previous mfw is mfw they are all actually at the gate waiting for me.
>the eldar looks pissed.
>merin’s bloody gift in hand I charge straight at the ork warbosses and the fighting begins.
>They go down relatively easily actually, their arrogance playing to my favour.
>While I am killing the warbosses the eldar and isoteph are going at it and it looks like the necron is winning.
>one warboss kills the other then I finish him off.
>tyranids are fighting everything and everything else is killing them as we are not fighting each other RN.
gay, really fucking gay
72766026 No u
no ones gona agree to that, surprised the eldar hasnt gone with a planetary bombardment yet
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>be fighting a few chaos cultists that are apparently leaders of their respective chaos cults.
>pretty much just mortals with a bit of chaos power so they aren’t much.
>that tzeench bitch is the last one.
>she started all of this.
>she doomed my brothers and plunged this sector into the depths of hell that it is in now.
>knock her out and save her for last.
>after a while it’s just me, the eldar and the necron.
>I can’t win.
>and they are having a 1v1 so not one to interrupt.
>eldar notices me just sitting here and tests me in anyway.
>alrighty then.
>imoteph is winning against both of us.
>she uses literally all she has just to lift him up while I just go at him with merin’s bloody gift.
>he actually dies.
>eldar has a fucking seizure before I go to finish her off.
>surprise the necron didn’t die.
>who would have fucking guessed?
>he stabs me in the back, puts whatever the fuck his weapon is into the dirt to leave me suspended on it, crushes the eldar and then comes back.
>he tells me it was the most fun he has had in eons.
>then I hear it.
>the most beautiful sound.
>I did it.
>I bought enough time.
>one last push from our remaining forces towards reinforcements overwhelms the necron, but too late.
>They get me down and start carrying me to a place I do not know but I am almost gone.
>I close my eyes and everything fades.
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>Be me, Farseer Lethendriel of Craftworld Biel-Tan
>Some Mon-Keigh offers a challange to every Force-Commander on the Planet
>he doesnt honestly think i would care about Mon-Keigh Honor or other nonsense like that.
>Thats the most Mon-Keigh thing i´ve ever heard
>decide to mess with him, cuz fuck Mon-Keighs
>dispatch some Rangers with cameolin clokes, just in case someone actually shows up and we can just snipe them
>assemble seer council and dive deep into the immaterium
>reach for the mind of this weird Mon-Keigh
>implant hallucinations and visions in his simple mind
> he actually believes he´s having a showdown with the other faction leaders
>must look like a double Mon-Keigh to his fellow comrades
>mfw (pic related)
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>be Lenia sorceress of Tzeentch
>go out to see what's happening
>everything is on fire
>hear that some emperor's children came recently
>and some marine challenge's
>leader's of every faction
>hear that governor and his bitch-ass son are "hiding" at Slaaneshi cultist's terrain on highiest building there
>siege that i ordered earlier went surprisingly well
>well, better now or never
>time to kill this traitor
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>Get results back from planet side
>Yep, alot of big bois here
>Even those fuckwits the Malevolent, mfw they're so autistic not even major chaos factions accepts them and talks shit about them constantly
>Get the news about the eldar
>nope.mp3, not messing with cloaky knife ear'd fucks
>Decide to deploy using mostly thunder hawks and teleportation, no direct orbital battles
>Board on a thunder hawk with my bolter bitch sisters I turned and fly off towards the city
>We're going at these loyalists fucks with light and heavy air consisting of talons and thunder hawks, droped down rhinos to assist with infantry, 4 predators, 6 defilers, 2 out of the many turned platoons of chaotic traitor SoB, 2 platoons of simping renegades we picked up and of course. Me.
>Should make it in a couple of hours, mfw we'll blot out the fucking sun when we'll arrive.
>Still have re-enforcements in orbit incase it goes to shit (somehow)
>Decide to only make contact with one of the already fighting forces since the rest of them fucking suck, have a astropath contact that Tzeentch bitch informing them of whats coming, make him give me the all and mighty speech and how im 'gracing them' with my presence, should get some of those individed to sign up after this
>Ride of the valkyries time brother fuckers.
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>finally fucking snap out of it.
>fucking sorcery.
>just my fucking luck.
>getting surrounded.
>fucking bolt back to fort to cry in shame.
>had to have been the fucking tzeench cultists.
>it always is.
>turns out the fort is actually doing fine though which is a plus.
>whoever is running that tzeench cult is dead.
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>Wake up, apparently I passed out while in contact with the big =E= and taken by two medicae to a tent further in the HQ
>Banging migrane, whispering getting worse
>Dont know what the fuck is going on, hugging my sword keeps most of the whispering away
>Get told the big =E= is trying to contact >>72691799 to organize a joint =E= and =I= force to attempt again to take the planet but no more is known since I passed out
>mfw we might get the fucking grey knights, considering to kms in matyrdom sounds nice rn
Yeah I will admit it got a bit gey there.
My bad.
To whoever the eldar is, thanks for saving the thread with “implanted visions in his mind” part. I owe you one.
Again apologies.
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Im in favor of blasting Cyco from the meta replacing him with a better brother fucker
I will be better. Nothing like that will happen again.
>dark wolves
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idk man, your still acting as feminite as a dark eldar baka
Because my earlier post is gey and I am actually ashamed of it. Feels bad. All it was is “and suddenly for no reason the spez marin win and save day yey.” I am sorry. I would appreciate if we got back to whatever this is now.
Im more interested in the dark eldar plot rn
There are dark eldar as well now? Or are you just referring to their gif?
eldar* got distracted by that cursed gif
MY BAD english is not my first language. Because I'm Polish and well sometimes i forget how to write a certain words .
>Be Aeronautica commander Martin Dassel
>Finished my recaf
>Going back to work
>Everything is on fire even more than before
>Someone should do something before the floor turns to lava
>Order some of our valkyries be turned into makeshitft fireplanes
>the admechs refuse to follow orders
>Fucking toaster molesters
>Get news of a metric fuckton of nids aproaching the base
>Get news of a metric fuckload of heretics aproaching the base
>Get news of a metric shitton of necrons aproaching the base
>Order all bombers to create a wall of fire to redirect the nids into either the heretics or the necrons
>If it doesn't work We'll atleast get a few roasted nids
>Order anyone not involved in combat to help with the firefightng effort before the guardsmen become one with the asphalt
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>everything is coming.
>start blasting bolt gun into them.
>does pretty much nothing but it’s also better than nothing.
>we are probably fucked.
>Be Brother Sidero, Warsmith of Iron Warriors
>breach the wall and enter the city
>set the heavy artillery and aim it on the loyalists position
>send one knight and some brothers
>on the slaneshi positions
>look at the burning city
>>Come brothers, we have citizens of the imperium to protect!
I've been out of 40k for a while, but when exactly did space marines ever give a shit about imperium civilians beyond anything more than "ah, mobile cover against enemy fire spotted!"
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>be Farseer Lethendriel of Craftworld Biel-Tan
>>>72764326 new fleet of the great enemy enters the system
>even worse, their fucking mon-keighs
>why are they always mon-keighs?
>man, fuck mon-keighs
>their main force seems to make planetfall >>72766616
>wonder if i should engage in void combat and screw with their fleet
>nah, they might be of use later
>>>72767354 >seems like a ton of literally everyone goes for the Mon-Keigh HQ
>neat, might just orbital bombard them into oblivion
>fuck, the hive still has its void shields up
>of course it has
>search for engery signature
>generators are inside the mon-keigh HQ
>obviously, they are
>fucking Mon-Keighs
>wonder if the swordwind should commit to that giant brawl
>nah. Would waste far to many aeldari lives.
>aeldari lives are precious
>especially after that yvraine girl screwd up Biel-Tan
>someone will probably wreck the void shield generators during the fighting anyways
>then that chaos fleet in orbit might blast them into oblivion.
>or we do
>still, decide to send in several teams of striking scorpion aspect warriors to infiltrate the mon-keigh HQ while everything is chaos and confusion. Have to make sure the void shield are going down, right? Also, some direct bloodshed pleases Khaine
>sit back and watch, ready to mop up whoever might be the last man standing
>cuz thats the aeldari way
Not all space marine Chapter’s have that attitude.
Two prime examples being the lamenters and the salamanders, both place extreme value on human life.
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>Fast approaching the city limits, see minor bolter fire flying past, does almost nothing besides scratching the FUCKING PAINT
>We land outside the main gate and meetup with the iron warriors of all people as they make their advance >>72767530
>They look at me as if im that one uncle thats not allowed near the kids
'We had heard your bellowing cries for aid and we deliver in the relief of your suffering, you poor souls'
>Pretty sure they'd rain bolter fire at me if it wasnt for the massive fuckoff army behind me
>Hear grumbling as we form to joined but clearly segmented forces as if one half was plauged and the other yet to be down with the sickness
>Defilers start their advance assisting with the firing on the loyalist positions, the rhinos talons hovering overhead giving recon over whats ahead, the thunder hawks harrasses aircraft attempting to make any runs, mfw bombers fall out the sky barely coming near our position
>Get word there's a inquisitor nearby off of some scouts from the iron dicks
>Send ya girl, Heretek Pyssera with a defiler, some of her personal dark mechanicum and simping renegades to look and attempt to capture them, dont usually get the hots for toasters but she was a fucking curvy snake like figure, would already tap dat if it wasnt for the fact that if I'd piss her off half of my vehicles would suddenly be leaving my fleet
>Notice the iron warriors going to the deflated slaaneshi positions, look at the warrior apparently leading the iron dicks my deamonic sword humming with dark chaos energies in hand and state 'I do hope, you are relieving them of effort astartes.'
>They fucking lay a finger on them its gona be civil war
(Better update that map kek >>72759598 )
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>it’s getting worse.
>some iron warriors showed up along with a corrupted and very non fuckable with looking sister turn up.
>get everyone to retreat back and start prepping up the remaining aircraft.
>we cannot win this.
>eldar are just sitting up there and I can tell they want to bombard the fuck out of this planet.
>once everyone is ready we will detonate charges on the void shield generator and just boost out.
>eldar too busy destroying planet along with all of the enemy forces to bother with us and we get out of there.
>meanwhile we actually have to survive until then.
>blow emergency charges placed around the city.
>it only delays them.
>emperor save us.
>be Heretek Sazana Zaruwka
>boss send some warriors culrist and me to kill some slaneshi fuck's
>this nice warrio had to stay because he had to operate some gear
>be little worried
>we come on the positons of these Slaneshi deviants
>they defend quite strong
>also there are some Emperor's Children
>well it's time to fight
>fire a salve int those freaks
>stomp on some cultist
>see a giant duck running through the street
>see fo a breif momen like some winged man or muscular lady rampages through the cultist's
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>Be me, Necron Lord Isoteph the ever-scornful
>More enemies have decided to make planetfall
>We have been unable to engage
>Deploy already unearthed Obelisks to make sure that they don't attempt to move via air again
>The empyrean Astartes and their smaller brethren have retreated and rushed toward urban centre A
>Order several strafing runs over the Empyrean worshipers, they will not escape so easily
>All good, because currently a horde of small Krork are approaching
>Rather annoying, but as it stands they're rather far away
>It's strange that they're coming this way, they're completely ignoring a closer settlement so why...?
>Of course, Aeldari
>They're being lead here by Aeldari, aren't they
>Send in Deathmarks to take out the ones leading them here, and the warboss
>Suddenly get confirmation, yes, as suspected my eternal enemy, the children of Isha, have come to vex me again
>Tempted to unleash Aza'gorod, but he is just a shard, and I don't want to waste his skills
>Allow pylons and sentry pylons to rise and open fire on the enemy in the air
>I'll turn them toward the Orks if they get close enough
>Now, where are the Eldar coming from?
>Orbit, largely
>Obelisks should be able to stop them from strafing our positions
>However, they did not account for something
>That Aeldari ships are perhaps the frailest in existence
>Designate Theta zone some ways away from here
>The Aeldari enjoy having a fleet
>I do not enjoy them having a fleet
>Thus they shall not have a fleet
>Awaken the fleet!
>I am glad we have already deployed Obelisks and pylons around there, it will be rather impossible to bomb Theta zone for any Aeldari
>I once made them beg for mercy, and by the Crownworlds I will again
>Order bombing runs to commence on the Krork if they get closer
>Send a ghost ark to distract the Krork into running toward the main city
>The forces here can handily defeat their ragtag bunch
>There are other matters to attend to
>For too long have I missed the void
> Be Tom the lord of change
> Tricky bit of pitting here
> The target is one and a half miles away
> Positioned on the head of an astartes
> Brother Cyco Mercius, if I'm not mystaken
> and considering i see everything, that doesn't seem likely
> The fairway is a field of spires, towers and fire
> He's choosing his club...
> Ah yes, it seems that once again he is opting for the staff of sorcery
> It appears to lining up the shot...
> [Crack]
> Lovely hit. And oh yes it seems that the sister of battle has had a head on collision with a necron warrior. A hole in one!

> Our next target appears to be the Necron Lord Isoteph
> The par for this one is an unspoken number, one that would surely drive mortals mad
> It seems Tom is once again choosing the staff of sorcery...
> [ Crack ]
> A fine pitch. Oh, but it seems the necron has gone off course...
> Ah it appears that Tom is using his immeasurable psychic power to change the trajectory of this necron and once again touch down with a hole-in-one
> Return to sender, if you will

> Our last flag for today is the toughest yet; launch a necron into the control room of Farseer Lethendriel
> Considering the ship is many thousands of miles away, this should be difficult
> The par is being placed at nine
> He is once again choosing the staff of sorcery as his pitching iron
> He's yelling :fore!", people for miles around are cowering and screaming
> [ Crack-Fzoooom! ]
> Ah yes, it appears the necron was teleported on impact
> I'm getting word that a necron warrior has materialised on the deck of the eldar ship, and indeed vaporised three Asuriyani before being taken down
> That will sure show those so-call psychic savants whom the true lords of Kaikaku are
> What a splendid day for golf this is
>be Lenia sorceress of Tzeentch
>I'am on some psychic rampage and Tzeench dammit it feels good
>cultist's aren't a problem and marines went to fight Iron Warriors and a Knight Despoler
>after some time i came on the highiest level
>and meet with the govenor
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>get hit by big zappy zappy chaos magic.
>this does not feel good.
>live but barely and have to get taken out of combat.
>see blue big bird looking mother fucker laughing his ass off I the distance.
>I fucking hate tzeench.
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>Hear explosions going off
>Not the usual ones, in sync ones, as if calculated
>The void shield above us flickers, oh fuck they're trying to do something in orbit
>The shield holds but barely, anything goes wrong in that generation room for the shields and im out of here
>Have a astropath contact >>72768229
>Complains of immenent head explosion
>Tell him to suck it up or to suck the tip of my sword
>Get the message through about the void shields and how we'd be all fucked if they go down, teleport some lesser deamons to protect it and ill owe him a crusade sized favor
>His head explodes
>Another astropath replaces him, tell him to contact >>72768297 informing her to gather the scattered undivided and menial spread out tzeench forces for a grand assult on the astartes
>He complains his head is going to explode too
>He gets the message through after some explicit reminder of his position
>Head explodes, fucking tzeench.jpeg
>Hope the heretek is having better results with that inquisitor, my bolter bitches are having success's against the loyalists but of course my simping renegades are not doing well against necron gauss. Talk over comms to have 2 death wheels dropped in, they;ll be here soon.
'And to think, all we needed is that sister >>72766909 to fucking be our beacon to the main heart of the loyalist hideaway. Ill be there soon bitch~'
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>almost fucking dead.
>ask if reinforcements are ever gonna get here?
>they say I did try the distress signal but nothing so far.
>well at least some of my fantasy was real.
>fuck you tzeench.
>be Mercivall Secon th Third, son of the govenor of world Ignotius
>i fall
>everything started when i came to aristocratic club, i was told abaut abaut numerous things, exotic things, without the church.
>I fall
>then one day i met a beautyfull girl
>Lenia she was called
>we..have fallen..in love
>but i was fallin deeper into this pitt of sin
>one day she tells me abaut her cult, her god, her plan
>i had to choose
>i've chosen sin
>in the blink of an eye whole planet is on fire
>then the daemon
>i thought she died
>I'm falling
>then she comes to me
>but she has changed
>bigger, muscular, with horns, and wings
>oo she would be a grreat tomboy on orgies
>she gives my father to some beast's made out of humans
>i'm falling
>they eat him
>she talks to me
>i talk to her
>i try to convine her
>she laugh's at me
>I say it is maddnes
>She just say
Madnes? No. This Is Ignotius CUNT
>she kick's me out of the balcony
>i'm falling
>this is entierly the consequense of my decisions
>And I Regret Nothing
>i crush on the ceramite
>i die
this is oscar worthy
Yeah I liked that.
> Be Tom, lord of change
> Sense corrupt soul perishing in my immediately vicinity
> Yoink.sorcery

> Suddenly have a voice in my conciousness telling me about something.
> newsentiencewhodis.warp
> astropaths head pops like a baloon
> Whoops, oh well still got the message
> Not sure where a random mortal gets off on giving me, a GREATER DEAMON, orders but hey;
> Tzeentch cares not from where the fuckery flows, only that is does!
> A horde of pink horrors pops into materium right outside the void shields
> starting to question if being dematerialised by eldar orbital cannons isn't at this point a good idea
> I just wanted to show someone my thesis
> It ain't easy bein' tzeentchy
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>be Lenia sorceress of Tzeentch
>feel so fucking good
>like extremly
>see the burning city an rising necron ships
>is tht my fault?.Maybe
>get astropathic message
>some chaos bitch tells me to gather the rest of my troops and prepare to assult on loyalist's
>ask her again abaut location and say bye
>hear meaty noise
>look beneath me
>see those iron warriors are pullin out
>it seams that thet too got similar orders
>i Spread my wings and fly through the city
>feels awsome
>see how the Lord Of Chang plays...golf
>send a messages to remaining cultists
>try to get to the place that this bolter bitch told me
>be shoot at the wing crush on the ground
>see the iron warrior
>he propably want to finish me off
>he goes away to greet the group with knight
>get up
>ok no time i have to get to this bich
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>be me, Farseer Lethendriel of Craftworld Biel-Tan
>everything was going so great
>almost too great
>fate is mischiefous mistress
>voidsmen inform me of approaching necrontyr vessels
>awakening of the tomb must have progressed faster then i anticipated
>screw you, runes of fate
>dont want to engage in fleet battle against them. They tough as fuck. We aint.
>Yet if aeldari craft are one thing, them fast and agile
>i knew it would be a wise idea to leave the >>72766616 chaos fleet be.
>make a run towards them.
>full spead, trusting in superior manouverabilty and holofields
>necrontyr fleet in pursuit, chaos warships in front open fire.
>use power of forsight to warn captains of incoming, deadly fire
>our craft barely misses a torpedo salvo, thanks to me
>slip through the chaos armada. Hopefulley them and the necronty will duke it out in orbit, instead of chasing us.
>suddenly random warriors of the necrontyr appear on the command bridge
>wtf, how?
>cut down some crewmen before i can cut them down with my spear
>mourn the spilling of aeldari blood
>the foul stench of mighty warp fuckery is in the air
>he thinks he is the real master schemer here, isnt he?
>perhaps he actually is. (Not that i would admit)
>check back in to events on the planetside
>greenskin diversion only mildy effective, call back surviving rangers.
>now even the bloody chaos mon-keighs are trying to keep the void shields running.
> i fucking hate mon-keighs
>striking scorpions still determinded to destroy the generators, in khaines name
>need to scry to paths of fate again. Necrontyr and Children of the Warp are no joke
>at least the next wave of Mon-Keigh reinforcement hasnt arrived yet.
>Be Sidero, Warsmith of Iron Warriors
>this voidshield might not take any longer
>we have to charge on the loyalist positions
>i stopped carin that we have some fanatical bolter bitches
>more guns=better
>see how some necron ships are flying thowards the space
>can't shoot them
>this bombardmen is really synchronised
>call the rest of my warriors and any remaining cultists to me
>after some time the second group come's knight is quite damaged
>cultists too
>order to defend generators
>shoot some weird girl
>she surviwe's
>no care
>she asks abaut the chaos sisters
>hear that more cultists are heading towards their position
>everyone is needed for final charge
>give her direction
awww thanks
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>still fucked up.
>scout informs me of chaos forces grouping up for final charge.
>there are three ways I see us getting out of here.
> 1 we use explosives on them while they are all together.
> 2 we try to get the fuck out with what little aircraft we have left.
> 3 reinforcements arrive and save our asses.
> I’m gonna go with 1.
>order all remaining explosives to be yeeted at them and any thing resembling artillery to be fired at them.
>remember void shield generator.
>chaos has it though and are defending it very well.
>those eldar don’t even want to get near those slaaneshi fucks.
>get Vox call.
>oh, what’s this?
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>Inform them of my notoriety at the cost of 4 fucking astropaths, they are'nt cheap you know >>72768844 >>72768842
>Get word that my hottie Heretek captured the inquisitor >>72691799 and is heading back onboard our flagship with a thunder hawk, fucking fantastic, I'll have some food to pick at when I get back
>Tell >>72768844 the whole 'We've figured out the heart of the loyalist position due to warp fuckery by a emperors children marine earlier' story and how we're going to burst through and bury our assault there
>We gather at the gates of the inner city upper hive area more towards the space port. with my entire army here and the death wheels arriving all thats needed is for the rest of the dim witted twits to catch up.
>Get word from orbit.
>Get a astropath to send a message to the knife ear
>Head explodes before I even give them a message
>Get 5 more to attempt to do it in co-ordination
>MFW it works, message tells them about the fucking old ass looking eldari gate we found on our way to the city and if they attempt to leave or blow us up we'll blow any soul rock things around it'
>The astropaths heads do not explode.
>Their bodies get vaporized.
>Now its the waiting game for the rest of the group. Hope my ship is okay.
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Btw I have a blank version of the map if anyone wants to attempt a update
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>Be me, Necron Lord Isoteph the ever-scornful
>My Barge has slammed into the ground
>Oh, right, Empyrean
>Since when did it get so active?
>No matter, I assume the Doom Scythes raining hell on the Empyrean worshipers will be a bit of a thorn in the side ot them
>Now, to get out of here
>Leap out of my barge, use my strength to get it out of the ground
>Get back inside, fly swiftly to our fleet

>Some time later, finally commanding my fleet once more
>I enjoy this feeling
>Looking out upon the void in my Scythe Reaper, and I notice something
>A force on the edge of the system
>I have never seen the likes of them before
>Quickly attempt to acquire all information in our banks about them
>It seems they are called, "Tyranids"
>How peculiar, it says that they can adapt to nearly anything BUT our weaponry and worlds
>It is as though we were designed somehow as the complete opposite of these beasts
>I wonder if the C'tan knew of them, somehow
>No matter, it will take time for them to reach us
>Time better spent elsewhere
>Turn my fleet toward the escorting fleet of Immaterium worshiper ships
>It appears the Aeldari have fled behind them, no doubt in the hopes that we would weaken ourselves by engaging them
>Whatever they intend to do, it is too late to stop now
>Because it appears that the immaterium worshipers have decided to engage us
>They must be ignorant of the power of my Scythe class harvester ships
>Then they shall learn
>Move forward with the ship
>These enemies are much, much weaker at close range
>Allow our raiders to tie up their inferior escorts, head straight for their flagship
>Unleash the Khopeshs upon the enemy capital ship and surrounding ships before activating the sepulchre on my ship
>I can practically hear the Empyrean worshipers going mad inside their battleship
>They're too busy infighting to fire their rather powerful weapons, good
>Unleash the firepower of our two Scythes at it and watch it crack
>Send Shrouds after the Aeldari
Not so fast, for I have returned!
Holy fuck thank you map anon
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Not NOT so fast! I have made a map that is less of a cluster fuck!
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>Get word from orbit
>More like screaming, they're peeling away from orbit to regroup
>mfw im now stranded for now.
What happened to the marine malevolent
Blackrage lamenters finished them off
and one of them is in the cumjar if i recall corectly
Oh yeah that one. They get what they fucking deserve.
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The Lamenters anon.
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>Be me
>Ork Nob
>Given' dutee fer da patrol wiff me mob
>Boss wantz ta see if koast iz klear fer da baterrin' ram 'ez makin'
>Nuffin' 'appenz 'ere, erryfin' iz insida da 'umie place
>See dese 'nid 'fingz
>Finally, wuz gettin' 'ungry
>Run ova da small onez eazy
>Da big 'un krumps few otha trukkz
>Run 'im ova from be'ind real sneaky like
>Like Mork intended
>Got a new sneaky paintjob an' a meal
>Also gubbin' fer me 'ood
>Dat waz a good patrol
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>Be me
>Abhuman Auxiliary
>Be told you'll be forgiven for the sin of your birth if you take this manufactorum back from rebels
>Charge in, take manufactorum with heavy casulties
>Miracle you survived really
>Praise the Emperor.
>It turns out the Commander giving you the deal died during the assault.
>The new guy thinks you took too many casualties, says pure humans would have done better
>"There will not be any talk of 'forgiveness' until this entire planet is retaken, mutant filth." he says
>tfw you've been here for two days
Bumby bump
>Be me, adventuring knight warden Karolus Steiner
>It appears that I have found some help
>A techpriest has arrived and offers to repair my armour
>Very well, I shan't deny such gracious aid
>Stand still as the mech goes to work
>He is no sacristan, but his skill will suffice for repairing damaged sections of my superstructure
>He appears to have an entire convoy in toe, apparently, they are looking to strike at the necrons
>In that case, I know precisely where to strike
>Allow him to repair my superstructure as long as I can allow before we must move again
>Vox the PDF major I previously contacted
>It appears he has come into contact with a group of mechanized imperial guard troops
>Worryingly however, he has encountered even more necrons
>Very well, evacuating this city cannot go any faster
>Send the location of the major to my shuttle, request the magos cease his repairs of my machine so that we may exact vengeance upon the necrons for their dishonourable conduct
>The magos seems to agree that this is a good plan and I stomp forward at the head of the convoy
>Gatling cannon nominal on ammo, superstructure now nominally intact
>Marching at roughly the same speed as the rest of the armoured vehicles, I cannot disgrace house Steiner by abandoning those who I am honour bound to fight next to
>While stomping about, listen in on the different vox channels for info on the fight
>It appears that there are more heretics to our east, and worryingly, apparently traces of a hive fleet have arrived
>I do not like where this is going, however, the fact that this is a Tomb World means that those beasts will be nearly instantly repulsed and attempt to retreat
>Either way, we must truly hurry out of here!
>Inform the Magos, stomp a little bit ahead and turn
>The PDF outpost is within visual range and so are the beasts assaulting it
>Level my gatling cannon, open up and advance
>"With me! For the immortal god-emperor of man!"
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>Be me Pizza civilian
>everything is still on fire and I'm still eating pineapple pizza
>be Colonel Commissar McConnell of the Amerigo 12th
>i finally reach the HQ
>when I do, I receive word that the city walls have been breached
>get on the nearest vox set and order my men to fall back to Hab block B40, just south of the HQ and block the Necron advance
>with than all said and done i make my way to the command room
>in there are a few Space Marine commander, one of them a lamenter looks like hammered-shit
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>get Vox call.
>what’s this?
>”we heard your distress call brother and we are here to help.”
>it’s our parent chapter.
>the blood angels.
>first they’re gonna have to get past the necron fleet, the Tyra is fleet and the eldar fleet.
>shouldn’t be a problem since they have been fucking each other up for a while now.
Those aren't Lamenter colors anon. Who exactly is that marine shooting at?
>Be PDF Trooper Bob
>Open fire on advancing wave of shiny metal robot skeletons with shitty autogun
>Bullets bounce of robots
>Captain says we should do a bayonet charge, since faith always perservers when technology fails
>Not sure this is such a good idea
>But orders are orders
>Do bayonet charge
>Burning green beam scorches straight through the three guys ahead of me and cuts me in half
>Fug my life
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>Be PDF Duchess-Major-General Hilda Elizabeth Amilie Scarlet Trefoil the Fourth, of the Scarlet Trefoil Family
>Also one of several senior PDF officers that is theoretically overseeing the defense of the Glorious City of Concord, Capital of the Realms of Ignotius
>Needless to say things aren't going well
>To be fair, our PDF has been largely ceremonial for the past few generations, and have mostly forgotten how to do anything other than do parades and give out fancy titles to surplus nobles like myself
>Good news is I got a spot on the next transport evacuating the planet
>Bad news is until then I stuck babysitting some regiment I have theoretically been in charge of for the past decade, but have never even visited
>People keep asking me for orders, then ignoring them because they have "actual combat training" or because "the Emperor provides"
>Turns out if your an idiot, he doesn't provide sh*t
>My face whenever someone else's bad judgement gets a bunch of people killed
"Let's bayonet charge the unkillable robots"
"Let's set ourselves on fire, I heard it worked for 7th battalion"
"Look how big that thing is......BANZAI"
"Screw holding position, they are no match for a cavalry charge!"
>Apparently common sense isn't very common
>Who would have guessed? (sarcasm)
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>Be Idraelia, Striking Scorpion
>One of many currently trying to sabotage the mon-keigh void shield generator
>We have split up to cover more ground
>Naturally as the smallest in my squad, I get assigned to plant devices in all the hard to reach spots so the mon-keigh can't remove them all after we pull out
>Not sure why we are bothering though, the stupid mon-keigh have planted their own explosives everywhere, apparently with the intent to detonate once enough of their social elite manage to flee the city
>Bet we could find a way to activate the mon-keigh explosives and save me the trouble of squirming though this rusty, smelly, mon-keigh "technology"
>At least I am not stuck fighting those warp tainted monsters swarming the lower levels of the generator though
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>Be Jackboot Jessi, foot soldier in Sabathiel's army
>We used to be space pirates, but the Captain has always had a bit of a thing for bolter bitches and sexy mutants
>And guess what? An organization made up of individuals who are both actually exists
>So now we work for Sabathiel for as long as there is a very slim chance that the Captain might score with Sabathiel, or any of her Sisters for that matter
>I suppose there is worse things to kill over
>Anyways, we are currently fighting our way through swarms of inept PDF soldiers
>They do realize they are carrying guns not spears right?
>This would pretty fun if it weren't for the disturbing rumors that our fleet just fled orbit
>Oh well, better to focus on the positives
>Like the fact that I just shot that moron in the ballsack
>You got to enjoy the simple things in life
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>Be me
>Got to gay bar with my Legion
>Have a great night :)
>Be Remus Speirs, mechanic by trade
>I guess me and my friends count as some sort of militia tank crew now, right?
>We'll probably have to return this Leman Russ once all this is over, but it's ours for now
>Flipping through a primer pamphlet some PDF tanker left in here
>Shame he doesn't have it on him
>I've been using it to tell what all in this mess of a battle should and shouldn't be shot at by us
>Non-corroding murder skeletons that like to glow bright colors and vaporize people are enemies
>Creatures the size of ogryn, but dumber, greener, and with heavy underbite are enemies
>Pasty, pointy-eared S&M fanatics with pointy helmets are also strongly apposed to the human race as a whole
>The list goes on, but I haven't seen anything matching the other descriptions just yet
>Rumble around another corner
>I don't even know where we are anymore
>Why does it feel like street signs are the first shit to go when bombs are falling?
>Have Mikey cruise while I look around through my vision blocks
>Donny's having a good ol' time on the bolter
>Leon has slowly been getting a feel for how the turret and main gun behave
>Raph is starting to get the timing down for reloading
>Honestly if I hadn't inherited the mechanics shop I should've enlisted for the armored corps
>The only downsides so far is the sweat, and the smoke from the weapons
>We're all sweating our asses off in a sulfuric haze
>The the soot stains clothes and clings to skin
>Sweat picks it up and runs into the eyes and burns
>Any other day I'd be miserable, but Emperor damn me if I don't feel greater than ever on the inside
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>Be PDF major of the local 7th Battalion
>The crazy sniper woman has left (she even had the gall to call ME crazy), we're inside the walls and there's friendlies around
>Time to go find a cup of recaff and someone in charge
>No, Perkins, not that kind of charge
>Your enthusiasm is appreciated, corporal, but please extinguish yourself again
>There's nothing to charge at at this very moment and time
>We've still only got autoguns, so we're cannon fodder at best
>There's Necrons running around inside the city so we're mincemeat unless we do something fast
>However, I have a plan B just down this street if you'll follow me, lads
>Few years ago I scraped together some budget and blagged a few cruddy Earthshakers off a Rogue Trader
>They're rusted through, worn smooth, ancient enough to be archaeotech, missing pieces and their shells only have a 50/50 chance to explode but dammit, they're cannons!
>And to think we actually had a chance of getting a few old Nihilus-model lasguns next year too
>I've been told they're good pieces of kit, makes you wonder why we could buy them so cheap
>Anyway, you lot are gonna like what I've got planned for these cannons
>Any of you ever heard the tale of Commissar Daniel Sterne?
>Of course you have.
>This is going to be the best Banzai charge since the Saipalcanal Campaign
>mfw I see the brass' faces as we run past brandishing artillery cannons being between several people as weapons
>Horrifying the stuck-up nobles upstairs with antics is great fun
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>Be me
>Loyalists no.1 traitor to take down
>Death wheels are starting to make their way against the gate grinding at it with their great treads at a acceptable pace
>Better news still, my flagship has returned orbiting above closer then we had jumped in considering the knife ear fucked off, we're getting supplies again but there are some casaulties onboard
>Heretek Pyssera has left the inquisitor on a thunder hawk to be transported in chains to be processed and has returned to me, tells me we have access to the citys public adress system
>Get to it first and make a speech
(Starts right off with that annoying screech that old microphones have just to piss everyone off)
'GOOD MORNING INFLAMMINUS! Well id love to curve your attention of all my true brothers and more importantly sisters to inform you our progress through this desolated hive shit hole is going... just as planned. With the capture of a Inquisitor, capture of the numerous outer space ports and of course capture of this PA system we can call for more reenforcements then ever before, so id reccomend you start the raping and pillaging to be amp'd up before the big boys arrive and beat you all to it! Sale sale sale on anything not already in the hands of our breatheren! And a special message to the loyals of the corpse throne, Your air travel today from 'Shithole surrounded from all sides' to 'Your damned escape' is delayed indefinetly due to the excessive CHAOS FUELED air support of storm talons and thunder hawks above. There is no escape.Though I will be somewhat reasonable. Your men shall either choose and accept a true faith of one of the 4 gods or be tortured by our loving slaaneshy artists~. the women the same option but a more erotic sense of the torture yet to be done. Lastly the children. Yeah not gona touch that filth they'll just be thrown to the slave pile. You are all beyond the meaning of fucked. This has been Miriael Sabathiel signing off.'
>Waiting game time for everyone to gather.
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>enemy sister makes annoying speech.
>get crutches and go to battlements.
>flip the bitch off snd go back to bed.
>can’t be fucked with their shit anymore.
>my blood angel brothers can not arrive soon enough.
>speaking of which.
>drop pods.
>drop pods everywhere.
>Be Lethendriel, Farseer of Craftworld Biel-Tan
>Striking Scorpions still working on this Void Shield Generator
>Main bulk of the deathless Necrontyr Fleet engaged with the archenemys Fleet
>just as the runes foretold
>bunch of light necrontyr cruisers break off the main fight to chase us
>easy prey
>turn highly manouverably fleet around to engage them. Should be a walk in the park to mob them up
>meanwhile, imperial reinforcements arrived in the outer system
>the genetic abominations of their corpse god
>certainly, the endless swarms of their navy and ground forces will soon follow
>just in time. The tides of war started to turn far to much against the mon-keighs favor
>and we want this to be a nice, big waste of resources, right?
>yet some Mon-Keigh enthralled by She-Who-Thirst has the audacity to contact me
>claims to have found an old webway gate
>wtf, didnt event knew there was one here.
>cast my runes, try to find out whether or not it is still functional, corrupted or already sealed off by the children of the laughing one
>cant tell, fate is clouded
>of course it is
>Mon-Keigh hasnt destroyed it yet, so she needs it as a bargining chip
>maybe just chaos-crazy, who knows.
>yet, simple minded as they are, the engage the Mon-Keighs
>after mopping up the light necrontyr cruisers, take course towards planet, to avoid the Gateway to be bombarded
>time to unleash the Swordwind
>swift as the wind and deadly as a suns embrace, graceful aeldari anti-grav vehicles decent from the skies, raining death and misery upon the mon-keighs enthralled to she-who-thirsts, guarding the webway gate.
>mfw we might manage to secure it before the crazy one even notices her rear is under attack.
>so this is how those Saim-Hanns always feel.
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>See some marine flip us off over the inner walls
>Send a bombing run to his position
>See drop pods
>Mfw the first wave get shot down by captured AA and of course my airfleet with the survivors (barely any) cut down at a laughable rate
>Checkmate fucker.
>My heretek tells me a combined small armada of undivided and ironwarrior ships arrive in orbit to reenforce/supply those planet side
>Get word off my girls around the webgate
>Its bad, eldar are back
>Wtf thought they left
>Good thing half of those soul rock things got transported elsewhere but the other half are still there
>Order by thunderhawk a defiler and a deathwheel to be dropped nearby but only to attack if they do, send a delegate to bargain for the rest of the soul whateverthefucks and to not blow the gate with charges
>Maybe this knife ear is smart enough to be keen on listening to my plan to fuck over the necrons
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>see first wave of drop pods get shot down.
>well there goes the few scouts they brought.
>a few survive and fall to the black rage.
>get killed anyway.
>see eldar absolutely curb stomp chaos bitch I flipped off earlier.
>while those fuckers are going at it hear that our boys in red up in space are doing pretty well against whatever fleets any enemy has left.
>a fuck tone more drop pods come In while all the enemies are distracted with each other.
>tell them all to flip off the chaos forces even more because It was funny seeing her red rage I. The distance and I can only imagine what will happen if we all do it.
>Vox the boys in space to get exterminatus ready along with an evacuation for what small amount of forces we have left.
>big brain plays by the lamenters turning this place into a massive war zone only to have it destroyed along with the vast amount of enemies with it.
>and none of them suspected a thing.
>wait and hear the chaos forces getting fucked from both sides.
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>mfw I see bombers coming for this position.
>also mfw they get absolutely fucked by the main aa guns we still had and the absolute hail storm of drop pods landing fucking everywhere at an unprecedented rate, this sort of shit is literally normal at this point so give a fuck anymore.
>somehow there are survivors.
>flip them off too and let them go to their traitor sister leader to tell her.
>hear her rage in distance.
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>See's edgy marine cackle over some bullshit of us being fucked
>Looks behind me
>Half my forces doing fuck all
>Cause the other half in the city are the ones doing the main fighting, the forces inside the city itself barely able to be counted
>Throw off his hallucinations as tzeentch fuckery
>Loyalist ships come into orbit, they get almost immediately decimated by the combined undivided and iron warrior armada
>There goes a chance for exterminatus fuckface
>Deathwheels almost break through to the other side of the gate. Nice.
>Eldari assault is on the backfoot, they're appearing to be loosing
>Give the order to call for ceasefire to give ultimatium about either going after the necron bois or we diddle with the soulrock things and blow up the gate
>I dont care if they are disgusted by my being, we both fucking hate the robot zombois and they have to go.
>Loyalists are fucked in every sense of the word. Communications for them are almost completely cut off, their fleets above are almost completely removed as a problem and more reenforcements drop down by the hour
>Sippin' loyalist tears at this point
>Nids and orks are almost negated as a problem
>Contact >>72768844
>Tell them over closed vox about the 'Sister being used as a beacon to lead us ot the main heart of the loyalists' plan again and we're going to need more deamons
>Contact >>72768229 with my new supplied bunch of astropaths
>Ask of the situation in the void generator room
>Contact my girl Heretek and order to make ready the deep range transmitter
>Think a battleship sized finale is in order
'Swear if they dont make good on that favor...'
Now I’m just confused af.
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>turns out I mistook the battlefield and the chaos boiz are not indeed fucked.
>and I was so happy about making the sister rage, oh well ya win some ya lose some.
>exterminatus bomb fucking explodes in orbit after they blow up the small ship dedicated to carrying it.
>All ships there are just gone.
>including ours.
>and that pretty much means everyone still on the planet is stuck here, EVERYONE.
>still a bunch of drop pods and other ships landed and we have a sizeable force again.
>at least big enough that we won’t die for a good while.
>notice lone sister got a tattoo, cool.
>go up to her and then notice what it’s of.
>a mark of fucking slaanesh.
>yeet her out towards those other chaos boiz.
>a worse fate than any death we can give her.
>Notice some fallout coming down from atmosphere.
>thank the emperor we are in a fort and they are just sitting out in the open grouping up.
Yeah I haven’t been paying enough attention obviously, I don’t remember undivided getting here.
Also I do believe that blood angels vs iron warriors wouldn’t be that simple as “blood angels get decimated.”
you're not alone
Oh wait I just read your earlier post about small armada. All things considered though I think the blood angels, knowing the circumstances of the planet would have brought a similar sized force even without the chaos armada.
I just remembered you have the inquisitor version of Gordon Ramsay held captive on one of your ships.
Yeah I don’t think that ship will be around for much longer...
> Be us, tyranid hive fleet
> Cruisin' through the void like gangsters
> Shadow in the warp an shiet'
> Eatin fools who don't know nuffin
> Suddenly massive explosion
> Holyshit.nom
> Hundreds of thousands of me are now dead
> so like, minor losses
> anyway, still gonna eat that fucken orb over there
> vanguards telling us that theres loads of meat
> a veritable buffet of biomass
> millions of hiveships are salivating at the thought
> any moment now we'll be landing in full
> can't fucking wait
>Be Sidero, Warsmith of Iron Warriors
>BE confused
>this slaneshi sister is doing...
>see some reinforcments
>they blow some ship
>apperently with exterminatus bomb
>those god damm eldars that wants to blow our reactors are insuferable
>get the vox message this bitch found a webway gate
>i want to rip her spine
>but i have other work to do
>like preperations for final charge on loyalist's
>more daemons show up
>fuckin birds
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> Be me, Artor Moroslorosis, Nurgle cultist
> Sad because worship of our unholy grandfather is not as grand as any other cult in this hive city
> Khornates bully us
> Tzeentchians laugh at us
> Slaaneshis won't let us join their orgies
> Everyone assumes we're part of the chaos undevided cult
> Everyone around me overflowing with joy and the many gifts of the disgusting one, the lord of infinite filth and eternal plagues, he who spreads his holy decay across the galaxy
> But I can never feel this joy, for how can I when so many people are unenlightened, never experiencing or appreciating his beautiful gifts?
> This shit starts and we can't do anything except hold tight and wait for it to blow over
> Suddenly I feel a major shake-up in the warp
> the appearance of a Greater Deamon, the fiddling of an Eldar Farseer, and the emotional highs cascading across the entire hive a causing a major fluctuation
> I go down to the holy pool to see into the future
> From the holy pool, waters of pure disease, virility, and plague that aspire to mirror Nurgle's own cauldron, a single rotting arm arises, wielding a sword
> A rusting, decaying sword of pure necrotic power
> Eckscalibur
> I take the sword, and I know what I must do
> The city around us is full of only PDF, no marines, robots or enemy daemons to be seen
> Foward, my brothers and sisters! For Eckscalibur, for Nurgle, for Crapalot!
> Be Me, Tom the Lord of Change
> get another message from this fucken bitch
> she wants something from me
> women, am I right?
> but lets have a looksee...
> Pink horrors are causing ruckus amongst the eldar
> But oh no! the eldar are slaying the pink horrors
> Psyche! There are now twice as many blue horrors!
> Gets em' everytime
> AllaccordingtoKaikaku.warp
> But theres still some eldar getting through to the control levels
> By Tzeentchs aetherical asscrack, this just won't do!
> I teleport myself and my horde of spawns to the eldars location
> "sup"
> I smash an eldar with my stick of wonders
> sometimes it feels good to be tzeentchy
Come here little kiddies, On my lap
Guess who's back with a brand new map?
Map Anon you are honestly the fucking best
I’m pretty sure we are about to nae nae on this chaos siege.
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>The wheely bois broke through the gate finally
>Gates grumble into makeshift cover as the rhinos with infantry roll behind the death wheels
>First enemy forces we see. The Lamanters. Immediately order the thunder hawks to supress them with firebombs
>Infantry pile out and start a bloody advance with rhinos as cover with defilers targetted at key bunkered enemy positions
>Its a slow advance but they're pushing heartly at them
>Le epic traitor me is in a reletively safe distance from any fucking robot zombie, knife ear'd bullshit or loyalist annoyances. Be in large old loyalist church converted to the ultimaet slaaneshi hangout, have a massive slaaneshi glowy rune in the middle of the church with pews fucking yeeted out the stained glass windows depicting the corpse god, Have my ritual shit setup with the longe range transmitter. Gathered civilians about and finally of course meee! Setup each civy around the rune aaaaand...
>shllck! shllck! The sound of slitting throats is fucking music to my ringing ears.
>Glowing getting more intense as my bolter bitch sisters rejoice in the agony of these simps
>Finally a bolt strikes the antenna and the room wisps with beautiful warp fuckery!
>And then... drum roll!
>Moryia! Inhaler of Sorrow, a keeper of secrets to aid us materializes (somewhat) infront of our very eyes with lesser lovable deamonettes clawing out of the same portal. Mfw all the renegades fucking go insane, sisters though have been trained to deal with this sort of thing, well in their special sorts of ways.
>Looks at me with somewhat annoyance knowing im calling a big fucking favor she owes me
'Moryial, im thrilled to have you with us in our crusade.'
I think the inquisitor got carried away
aka he out the battle for good
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>Whispers consuming my mind
>They're getting more intelligable
>Its chaos bullshit
>Fucking knew it
>Almost fucking grinding on my sword with my grip on it is keeping the whispers at bay and keeping my mind somewhat on the ground
>Im sure im dying
>Doesnt help that the medicae left me in a tent in the corner of the bunker hq
>My hand gets held
>Its a bright light, a figure in bright light
>Not sure if warp fuckery or the bright light taking my life away
>Get told im chosen
>Idfk what its on about
>The sword feels really fucking hot suddenly, like white hot like the hottest fucking star
>Writh and get away from it but grab the hilt cause the fucking whispers
>Loins burn with the same white light burning from where it was
>Hand burns
>Chest burns
>Legs burn
>Everything burns, climbing up to my face
>Last thing I see is this figure fucking, smiling? They seem content with this and, feel somewhat peaceful
>I ascend
>My loins now fucking
*>My loins now fucking
All the lamenters are dead except me actually. And I’m pretty sure the fort is just walls.
The gate is the city gate.
I should have clarified that earlier sorry, my B. And the civies got all either evacuated or died near the start of the thread. That is what the lamenters tend to do first.
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Where's the Heresy?

or apparently reamining civies found/captured to have been sacraficed
Yeah that is kinda what would have happened when they died earlier
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>be me, Lethendriel, Farseer of Craftworld Biel-Tan
>descend from the heavens, the Swordwind at my side.
>graceful aircraft, falcons and fire prisms fall apon the surprised worshippers of she-who-thrist, protecting the supposed "Webway Gate"
>while aspect warriors leave the falcons and join the fight with khaines fury in their heart, seer council and i swoop in on our jetbikes
>fire jetbikes shuriken gun and incinderate pack of Mon-Keigh Madmen with warp-lightning.
> fuck Mon-Keighs
>yet after the initial shock wears off and the carnage has been done,reinforcements descent apon us with mad-eyed determination
>cant resist our souls, cant they?
>their dead litter the ground, yet they are teeming like vermin, forcing us to retreat a bit and take steam out of the attack
>attrition isnt out style of warfare, after all.
>the crazed woman has the audacity to call for a form of truce
>"truce" with servants of she-who-thrists
>Mon-Keigh must be full of warp-dust to even suggest that
>claims to have a portion of stones, belongig to the webway gate
>lmao, probably thinks these are soulstones.
>what does she think a webway gate is an infinity circuit? They´re probably engery crystals
> what a double Mon-Keigh
>yet for her to even approach me must be a sign of purest desperation. I might turn this in my favour.
> "Suuuuuuuuuure, lets focus on the deadless necrontyr first. Just pull away from the Gate, will you?"
>even lying to them feels dirty. Cant wait to backstab ´em. (not that we Aeldari would _ever_ do such a thing)
>speaking about backstabbing, fleshly horrors and the spawn of chaos manifests near our Warhost
>Swordwind reacts swiftly, makes use of superior speed and manouverbility, attacking the neverborn with shurican, lance and plasma-fire
> a great one leads them. Taking him out would be a fatal blow for the plans of the warpborn.
>seer council and i swirl around him on jetbike, like hornets around a bear. Eat our warp-lightnight
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> ...

> ...?

> ...

> ...!

> ...???!??!!

> ...

> Superior Marcia.

> I'm the emperor.

> Stop It.

> Get Some help.
Marcia didn’t I yeet you out earlier?
Nah was just chilling in a med tent
>Be Aeronautica commander Martin Dassel
>Fucking finally got the fires under controll
>Only some guardsmen died and one toaster was fried by the fire
>Now able to send airsupport to hive inflamminus
>Order a carpet bombing of our enemies
>Also to send in some valkyries to supply our troops
>Most of the suplies consist of burned food and half molten powerpacks that were suposedly "safe to use" as some admech put it
>Get back to arguing with the mechanicus about how it is their fault that that one toaster got destroyed and not mine
>I swear to the Emperor my bullshit tolerance is reaching its limit
Ah must have been some random heretic civy then. Good riddance.
Sorry bud, air support is locked down already.
Loyalist air is a no go for now due to traitor storm talons and thunder hawks
Which warp spawn?
So how you dealing with all this siege stuff and chaos fucking with your mind?
Actually how is everyone on this thread doing?
>be Colonel Commissar McConnel of the Amerigo 12th Mechanized
>i have had no luck finding whoever is in hcrage at the HQ
>I decide to say fuck it and head by to my men fighting the Necrons at hab block B40
>on my way there I hear over the vox that someone has ordered an exterminatus
>then i hear that the fleet is getting torn to shreds by a chaos fleet
>well at least we arent gonna get blown up by our own na
The Lord of Change and his host. See >>72791898
Exterminatus never actually got ordered it was being prepared after evac I’d troops but then the bomb exploded after getting shot up by chaos and everything up there died.
?? Ive been on my ass the entire time since entering the main walls ive never been doing the strategic stuff,
Like EVERYTHING. So all the fight is planetside from there.
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> Be me, Tom the lord of change
> had to deal with all sorts of shit since I got here
> Illiterate Monkeys
> Soul-sucking robofucks
> A random ass hoe who thinks she can tell me what to do!
> and now a bunch of assholy asuryani
> all I wanted was to do some book club with magnus the red and show him my thesis
> Yes, my thesis
> The one I've been working on for millenia
> "Inverse Astral-gyration and it's longterm affects upon the human and eldar soul"
> it's sure to be a masterpiece of it's time
> Wait a second!
> Eldar know stuff about sorcery, so maybe they'll be able to comprehend my theories!
> show them
> one sniggers
> "actually, asurbiyanni's two hundred and second law forbids article two and four."
> I am gobsmacked
> My whole argument has been completely taken apart
> It's at times like this in which you have to ask yourself;
> Am I okay with constructive criticism?
> . . .
> No.
>Be Aeronautica commander Martin Dassel
>See one of our bombers get destroyed by a chaos talon
>The fuck?
>Why are there heretics flying everywhere?
>Why wasn't I informed about this?
>Ah right The comunications tower melted
>Order to build a makeshift replacement tower
>Order anyone to the AA guns so we might be able to put our machines into the air
>Continue arguing with the admech about fixing all the broken shit
Besides the Sabathiel flagship, and actually no not everything. its space, its massive. some ships survive loyalist and chaos alike
Yeah well I thought everything was relatively close like big fleets all in the thick of it. At least we know some of us survived.

Continued sorry, my PC is acting all weird on me

>well at least we arent gonna get blown up by our own navy
>as I reach my men, they are locked in combat with the foul necrons
>while we are holding our ground the enemy keeps coming!
>i join my men in the fray
>slaying many of the shinny-metal-assholes with either my power-sword or plasma pistol
>a rather large Necron, a lychguard I think
>he comes at me and I parry with my power sword
>I then make an attack of my own, which successfully fells the fiend
>but before I can turn my attention else were, it gets back up
>fucking zombie-robot-resurrection
>I kill it a second time and stick a Krak nade in the hole my power sword made just to be sure
> Be Annihilation Squadron commander Vict Vortest
> I say! What a fine day to take to the skies to anihillate the loyalists in the name of the chaos gods
> ... or more precisely some sister of battle dame by the name of Miriael Sabathiel
> oh well, any body that gives us a crack at corpsy is a good egg in my book, wot wot?
> The gents have the city on lockdown
> Might as well 'ave a gander towards the nearby Aeronautica airfield
> See a bomber
> Full speed jenkins! Maximum burn! Gods save the queen!
> Blow the shit out of it
> Good show, sir! Wot wot!
> see a dozen more aircraft on the radar
> Oho, it appears we have a proper dogfight now! Jolly good show, I say!
Yo I just remembered something. Way back in the thread when chaos breached the city gate and we had to retreat we blew some explosives pre placed around the city. That means pretty much all supplies left there and any mounted weapons. Mounted weapons especially. So no artillery or AA or heavy stuff like that Was left.

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>Have some renegades dig up the back of the church
>Have it tunnel'd and have the beginnings of a nice lair to chill in
>Church remains as a big ass portal for lesser deamons
>Moryia! Inhaler of Sorrow summons me, we meet and asks where to find stronger sacrifices
>Tell them about the whole 'Sister used as a beac...' realize suddenly we dont have the beacon anymore, the fuck?
>Still, tells them about the HQ with meaty marines
>Tell them about the lord of change
>She seems amused
>She walks off adding a further increase of 30% of just slaaneshi deamons and increasing hourly.

(Im up for anyone to take over playing the keeper of secrets Moryia! Inhaler of Sorrow from now)
Here it is
So chaos literally only has what they brought. To clarify (since I suck at that) the stuff on the inner defences like In fort (name pending) is still there like AA, arty etc.
>be Lenia sorceress of Tzeentch
>get my wing beeing repaired by some undivided medic
>get a astropathic message
>from this sister
>who does she think's she is?
>she still asks me abaut new forces
>fuck her
>hear that some nurglite fatty, got himself a sword and thinks he's some chosen of walking garbage bag?
>time to show somebody that ya have to EARN blessings of chaos
>examine the map of the Hive
>see where the khornates are hiding
>send them some astropathic messages
>someting something "Join Nurgle", "Come to Grand Mommy" that type of bulshit
>hear salves of screaming
>I guess that's a "Yes"
>wow head didn't exploded
>It's good to be Tzeenchy
>have a weird felling in my crouch
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>Jumps into orbit
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Rolled 1 (1d4)

>Be me, Shitsquid Tzeench
>Haven't fucked with mortals in the last 0,000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 picoseconds
>Decide to do something about it
>Start messing with mortals
>Decide to roll the 1d4 of fate
>If it rolls a 1 I'll drop a space hulk in the outer parts of the hive, if it rollls a 2 I'll bring the blood ravens into the system, if it rolls a 3 I'll switch the places of the slaaneshi and khornate forces, if it rolls a 4 Everyone gets a free pizza delivered to their location (It will be their most hated kind of pizza tho)
>TFW Just as planned
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>be some rando imperial navy captain
>the battle over the planet is intense and we are taking grievous losses
>the tactical cogitator starts going nuts
>my face when a fuck huge space hulk comes out of the warp
>be me
>Bob Smithus, voxman of the 93rd Vostroyan lasrifles
>just been sent to aide various space marines in bringing a planet into submission
>reports of random shit happening
>write it off as chaos fuckery messing with my trusty vox
>it crashes into the ship
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are we in 2010 now?
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>be me
>go to sleep
>dream is about a kitty. It is cute.
>suddenly alarm goes off
>wake up
>some zoomers in red hoods broke into my tomb and stole all my minis
I'm sad
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>Be me, prince of pleasure Slaanesh
>Notice one of my keeper of secrets is missing
>Looks where it went
>Fucking Sabathiel
>Divert 0.000000000000001% of my attention from the mass amounts of gore orgies to shoot a warp storm towards the planet making materium jump travel as hard as my cock
>Send a message to the keeper to tell Sabathiel to get her greasy tits to a portal with her army asap for a stern spanking of her 'oh im so special cause I used to be a sister' fucking slut
>mfw it couldnt be a better time with the grey knights in orbit
>Be PDF Duchess-Major-General Hilda Elizabeth Amilie Scarlet Trefoil the Fourth, of the Scarlet Trefoil Family
>Still surrounded by idiots
>7th battalion has dug up some ancient artillery from somewhere, and is now preparing to do either a tank rush or blow themselves up with old shells, I couldn't tell from the garbled message
>According to enemy propaganda, our retreat has been cut off and now we are being offered the choice between switching sides or being tortured to death (though I suspect the end result is basically the same)
>Briefly consider it anyways, but then decide I don't have the complexion to wear only straps and piercings
>Hear update that a huge wave of Slaaneshi daemons is coming this way
By the Emperor, bump with content you faglords!

>be me
>brother-captain of the Marines Malevolent
>finally reach the capital
>not before honoured Brother Uranus is enveloped in a spectral jar and disappears
>its barricaded tight, no entry
>i bet those limp-wristed faggots the Lamenters did this
>spy some black-armoured marines approaching
>honoured battle-brothers! allow us entry to this great citadel of manki-
>the start shooting at us
>fighting retreat
>manage to find a back way into the city
>it's through the fucking sewers but we'll take what we can get at this point
>regroup, try to catch our bearings
>suddenly entire city is flooded with chaos forces from on high
>this is not our day
>wonder briefly if this is how the Lamenters feel
>speaker starts blaring out some kind of speech from the chaos command
>Brother-Sergeant Lupus shoots the speaker out two sentences in
>hell yeah fuck that bitch
>this is why you got that promotion Lupus
>guess we better try and regroup with the remaining Imperial forces in the centre of town
>looks like they have a knight off in the distance so that's something
>if there are any of those bleeding-heart lily-livered Lamenter gayboys left there'll be trouble
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> Be I, Magnus the Red
> A little sad because I'm starting to think I did do something wrong
> Tzeentch is up to something as usual
> Keeps muttering about a space hulk or something
> not to worry, book club is soon
> Ahriman will be there, so will Kairos
> So will Tom the lord of change
> Turns out ahriman is busy murdering some ssssPACE WOLVES
> Tzeentch is getting Kairos to look into the future
> Not to worry, Tom's never let me down
> Waiting
> He's not showing up
> sigh, back to orchestrating the downfall of father's imperium
> It ain't easy being tzeentchy
>Be Idraelia, Striking Scorpion
>Well that is just fucking great, the gibbering warp spawned horrors are penetrating deeper into the void shield generator complex
>And they have got a Greater Daemon with them
>Or maybe not, one of our warlocks cast a banishing rune in the form of a metaphysics argument and now the spawn of the Changebringer have fallen into disarray
>More of the Swordwind start pouring into the generator complex and butchering the warp spawn
>Interesting, I guess Lethendriel has decided to fully join the fight after all
>The time for sneaking is over
>Leap from my hiding spot and kick a warp spawned creature over the railing and into some sort of raw energy beam where it is instantly disintegrated
>Dammit, should have yelled out some cool punchline while I was doing that but couldn't think of anything fast enough
>Oh well, I will get plenty more chances as I fight my way through the rest of this horde
> Be Me, Tom, Lord of Change and all that
> Beating up Eldar
> A burning question pops up in my mind
> "Hey Guys, just wondering-"
> Nails a warp spider into the floor
> "have you all got your soulstones on you? because-"
> Turns a stormwind into pure lead
> "whilst I despise every single one of you, what I-"
> Turns three asuriyani into dust
> "hate even more is the idea is the idea of giving that ABYSSAL WHORE-"
> boots a striking scorpion across the map
> "more power than she already has."
> summons dozens of more flamers and pink horrors
> "Just wondering, you know?."
>Be Jackboot Jessi, foot soldier in Sabathiel's army
>Apparently I am a home renovator now
>Sabathiel has made her base in some sort of church and now a few luckless chumps like myself are stuck mining a tunnel
>At least I wasn't here when they opened the portal, most my crewmates who were here at the time went insane witnessing the "event"
>Even now I get vertigo looking at that spinning piece of unreality
>Someone shows up with pizza
>Awesome! I love pizza
>It is beetle cheese with ghost peppers and bird droppings
>Just my luck, this is literally the only type of pizza in the universe that I hate
>Have a slice anyways
whoops, silly me
leaving mind-rending vortexes open and stuff
what a clumsy goofball I am
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>Master Thor of the Grey Knights
>Currently at the 'disposal\ of inquisitor Ryptman
>Idgaf he's a pompous prick. I do what I want.
>Get in a same distance away from the orbital battle
>Telelport 3 teams of 10 Grey Knighs where the necron threat is followed by 2 teams of 5 Grey Knight terminators and lastly 3 Dreadknights,
>I adore my blessed and CLEAN AS FUCK terminator armor
>Teleport down
>Mfw the inquisitor says he'll 'Be there soon' fucking pansy
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>My new Crib is done.
>Got the blood walls, groaning flesh carpets, organ roofing
>Get word from the front
>Huh. Well I might take my leave soon.
>Reports from orbit are pleasing, order another platoon of traitor sisters. Mfw thanks to deamons my force has grown more then 90% due to deamons.
>Get more word from a local deamon casually listening to warpradio with ya host, chaotic whispers.
>That fucking lord of change traitor.
>Get half the ass-stones I own and board them on a thunder hawk and send them to my flag ship
>Give half of the half I have left to the keeper of secrets as sacrifices
>She looks at them queerly for a second
>Rubs her finger over it
'JɄ₴₮ ĐłⱤ₮Ɏ, ł Ⱨ₳Đ ₮ⱧØɄ₲Ⱨ₮ Ø₣ ɎØɄ ₮Ø Ⱨ₳VɆ ฿ⱤØɄ₲Ⱨ₮ ฿Ɇ ɆⱠĐ₳Ɽł ₱Ø₩ɆⱤ ⱤɆⱠ₳₮ɆĐ ₴₮Ø₦Ɇ₴, ɎɆ₴ ₥Ɏ ĐɆ₳Ɽ, ₮Ⱨł₴ ฿Ɇ ₮ⱧɆ ⱤɆ₳Ⱡ ₴Ⱨł₮'
>Mfw she fucking breaks one in her palms and sniffs it like fucking warp dust
>Holds them in a sack on her waist and just pops one everytime she feels like it
>Fucking bet. Cant wait to have that knife ear crawl to me pleading to cease.
>Keeper of secrets eyes glow suddenly
>Like, more then before
>Oh fuck its him.
>Be Jackboot Jessi, foot soldier in Sabathiel's army
>Finally finish covering the south wall of the church with fresh blood using a paint roller on a pole
>The shit you got to do for a paycheque these days
>Stupid sector-wide recession
>Oh shit!
>Greater daemon shows back up for whatever reason
>Avoid eye contact before get driven insane
>Good thing I popped some acid pills about two minutes ago
>They should be kicking in right about..................now
>Start hallucinating that I am in some fantasy wizard lair and the greater daemon and Sabathiel got replaced by a giant cat and a manchild wizard respectively
>And the cat can talk
>I always wanted to see a talking cat
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> Be we, Tyranid Hive fleet
> Am I there yet?
> No.
> Am I there yet?
> No.
> Am I there yet?
> No!
> Am I there yet?
> NO!
> Am I there yet?
> NOO!
> Am I there yet?
> > Am I there yet?
> [ crashes onto surface ]
> yes.
>Be PDF Duchess-Major-General Hilda Elizabeth Amilie Scarlet Trefoil the Fourth, of the Scarlet Trefoil Family
>Got tired of being ignored by my idiot soldiers so retired to my private study for tea
>Hear lots of shooting and shouting outside
>For fucks sake this is supposed to be the most secure compound on the planet
>Bunch of weird fetish space pirates run into the room:
>Slut with adult diaper, thigh high stiletto boots, ninja mask, tricorn hat, pacifier, night vision goggles, and katanas
>Fuckboi with "Simp 4 Life" t-shirt three sizes too small, man bun, eye patch with pink star on it, crocs, Reverse Prince Albert, bionic arm, two laslock pistols of archaic design
>Big lad/lass in a fully enclosed space suit with dicks and boobs spray painted on it, carrying a handheld cannon
>Grossly overweight neckbearded slob with stripped pantaloons, a stump for a leg, large gold ring earrings, a psyber parrot, bandanna, industrial grade pincer for one hand, and a cutlass for the other
>Scrawny guy with a furry fox mask, codpiece with a fluffy fox tail (hopefully) attached to it, brony tattoos, long barreled laspistol and boarding axe
>Lass with a few strategically positioned straps, optical implant, surprisingly clean, bouncy hair, double barreled revolver, handhook
>"Simp 4 Life" seems to be the leader, and offers me a chance to surrender in return for being his personal co** sleeve
>Thanks but no thanks
>Whip out my 50 cal, snub-nosed, titanium plated, Bronson & Lyon Special revolver with exploding rounds and aim it in a double handed grip before Degenerate Squad can react
>Splatter "Simp for Life"'s pelvic region all over the wall behind him
>Punch hole though Space Suit's heavily tinted visor
>Duck behind table as Clean Hair and Fox Mask return fire
>Blow off Fat Slob's organic leg, then head as he rushes forward
>Flip table on its side before Clean Hair and Fox Mask realize they can crouch down to shoot me
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>Shit, only two bullets left for three remaining hostiles
>Hear clicking noise and roll sideways as Ninja Slut predictably stabs both katana through the thick nalwood table where I was just crouching
>Slide up dress on one leg to pull my power blade from its thigh sheath
>Stand up quickly and stab Ninja Slut through her night vision goggles and deep into her skull
>Extract blade and toss it at Clean Hair, impaling her through her optical implant, while simultaneously shooting Fox Mask in the forehead
>Notice I took a grazing shot from one of the las beams
>Flip the corpses the finger for blemishing my perfect skin
>Loot all four pistols, the katanas, assorted holsters, belts, and ammo clips and power packs
>Retrieve my power blade
>Hear more fighting outside
>I guess I have to do everything myself around here
>be me.
>be brother Cyco Mercius of the Lamenters.
>enemy is pretty much all daemons now.
>remember what necrons do to warp spawn.
>order all recovered necron tech to the walls including these massive pylon shaped inanimate rocks.
>while on walls see some grey knights drop in.
>by the emperor even more back up!
>see a single marines maelevolent marine in the distance.
>he gets chased off.
>fuck those guys.
>Be Remus Speirs
>Me and the crew still hauling ass around town in the Leman
>Blowing up anything not distinctly loyal to the Emperor
>This has been fun so far, but I want to try some more
>Wonder if these things can plow trough buildings like they do in the propaganda reels
>Spot a house still mostly in tact
>Point it out to Mikey at the wheel
>Give out selves a nice long run up
>The treads throw up dust, debris, mud and blood as thunder along
>Brace myself for impact with an excited chuckle
>We burst through the first wall, but lose most all of our speed
>Poke out of my hatch as the dust settles
>Brush soot, concrete dust and rubble of my denim mechanic overalls as I survey the room
>We nearly missed some dude by a few meters
>He's sitting at a small table with a half eaten pizza
>Looks startled by our entry
"Uh, hi there..."
>Can't believe we just rammed this poor dudes place
>I mean, sure it was already a little beat up and there's no way is was gonna stay up through the battle
>But still we nearly killed him
"You want to ride in a tank? Beats eating alone."
>After a pause he agrees
>It's not like he was up to much earlier anyhow
>Asks if he can bring his pizza
>Sure whatever just hurry up there's a war out there
"Yeah, no problem. Hop in."
>He loads up and we back out through the hole we made
>Off to cause more havoc for those who dare invade our home
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>Be Lethendriel, Farseer of Craftworld Biel-Tan
>additional swordwind-forces descended from orbit to support assault on the void shield generator
>may khaine guide your hand
>be informed more Mon-Keigh make planetfall
>the great devourer finally arrived
>yet here and now, the warp-born servants of falsehood and change are the most pressing matter
>the neverborn die by shuriken, plasma and energy sword, yet it matters little as long as the great beast calls forth more into reality
>while Seer-Council and i, on our jetbikes, keep blasting him with psionic strikes, lance-weapon platforms and fire-prism tanks begin to focus him with concentrated high energy fire
>Lileaths grace, why must warp-born always talk so much?
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> mmmm I am a lord who changes shit
> and by tzeentch's translocating taint, there's only so much a Neverborn can take
> being peppered by psychic bolts, energy lances, and a whole lotta fire
> destroying plenty of them in return, but it's not enough
> basically all my little mortal dudes are fuckin dead
> no amount of deamonic hordes seems to be getting these Eldar off my back
> all of my zappy zaps and ban-hammering can't seem to keep them at bay
> perhaps dematerialization is my fate after all
> ... wait? what's this?
> I am sensing a massive object incoming
> a space hulk
> keikakuIntensifies.warp
> using my titanic psychic might, I shift the trajectory of the colossal amalgamation of warpships whilst it remains unaffected by gravity
> It will now land directly on top of the Eldar, annihilating them all in an instant
> I laugh a mind-rending laugh
> Truly I possess the greatest tactical mind in the entire universe!
> ...
> ...
> wait.
>be Lenia sorceress of Tzeentch
>it's gettiong a bit spicy here
>tyranids just landed
>most of my forces are now daemons
>this bolter bitch is summoning some Greater Daemons
>eladars are fighting with Greater Demon summoned by me
>Irow Warriors starded the siege of loyalist's hub
>Slaneshi Marines are fighting with some guard's lady
>ok that's a bit to much
>hear some iron warrior's talking abaut some "Planet full of nerds that came out recently...I think it's called Soritarious?"
>new plan
>get some astropath
>mind controll time
>make him scream into the warp "Space Wolves are better then the tHOUSANT sONS"
>after a while her head explodes
>get a new one
>repeat until something happen's
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> Be I, Magnus the Red
> Dicking about, being a glorious psychic (demi)god upon sortarius AKA the planet of the sorcerers
> a shift in the warp occurs
> suddenly I can see a small planet at the edge of my conciousness
> a strange, burning planet
> how very peculiar
> I stop what I'm doing to investigate
> Yes it seems like theirs some sort of fight going
> I should watch, but not join the battle
> What reason have I to sacrifice my sons in such a banal and useless manner?
> No reason at all, of course
> hear a faint telepathic signal
> it cuts out before I can fully catch onto it
> now there's another
> and I feel as though it's being directed at me somehow
> so someone down there can sense sortiarius even as it brushes against the boundaries of the warp
> there it is again, i listen in

> "space Wolves are better then the thousand sons"

> what
> the
> ffffffFUCK WAS THAT?
> S P A C E W O L V E S ?
> F U C K I N G F U R R I E S ?
> thepurestformoffuryknowntomankind.warp

Birdposter here; it might not be "fair" for me to play as both a greater daemon and a primarch, so if someone wants to take over magnus that'll be A-OK
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>Be PDF major of the local 7th Battalion
>Sod the Necrons, there's daemons around
>At least they die to bullets, the local armoured units and Astartes can handle the Necrons
>Round a corner to see a large group of daemonettes
>Hey, isn't that the divisional HQ they're attacking?
>Clearly it must all be going to pot if they're free to bring peace, acceptance and loose sexual mores deep into the core defences
>Right, lads, you know the drill
>Load arms and fix bayonets!
>On my mark, in three-two-one-BANZAAAAAI
>Daemons look slightly bewildered at the display of hundreds of soldiers charging, screaming and shooting like Orks while brandishing artillery cannons
>After a second, they snap to and start rushing to meet us
>Now they're all bunched up an away from the building, there's your cue
>First rank, FIRE!
>The first four teams holding the cannons are all promptly knocked on their ass from the recoil as the cannons fly scraping down the street
>Hmm, I think we should brace them against a wall next time
>Any further thoughts are interrupted by a massive explosion as the shells detonate within the daemon group
>Every single window in the street is violently blown inwards from the shockwave and everyone is left with ringing ears
>Second rank, FIRE!
>The second group of four cannons repeats the same sequence of events
>Soon the clouds clear and at becomes apparent that a substantial fraction are now giblets now raining from the sky and many others are sporting concussions and explosion and shrapnel injuries
>The stragglers are able to be mopped up in a hail of autogun fire
>One brave trooper even tries to bayonet one of them
>He instantly gets cut to ribbons, but I admire his guts (which are now all over the road)
>The frontage of the command building has half-collapsed, and there's not a single intact window left in the whole city block
>I hope none of the glass and masonry fragments ended up in the MG's tea, or our asses are grass
>Oh yes, and I hope they're alive too
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>Be me Pizza civilian
>Eating pizza on the go
>Sharing my pizza with my new friends
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>Renegades dart out the fucking room theri heads amd being sliterally melting at the sound of the voice from the keeper... besides that one tripping balls he just kind of passed out
>Its them
>ł ₩łⱠⱠ ₴₮₳₮Ɇ ₮Ⱨł₴ ₵ⱠɆ₳ⱤⱠɎ. ₴₳฿₳₮ⱧłɆⱠ. ₵₳₱₮ɄⱤɆ ₮ⱧɆ ₵ł₮Ɏ. ⱤɆ-ⱠØØ₭ ł₦₮Ø ₮ⱧɆ ฿Ɇ₳₵Ø₦. ₮ⱧɆɎ Ⱨ₳VɆ ₳ ł₮Ɇ₥ Ø₣ ₮ⱧɆ ₳₦₳₮ⱧɆ₥₳. ł ₩ł₴Ⱨ ₣ØⱤ ł₮₴ ₵ØⱤɄ₱₮łØ₦, ₲Ɇ₮ ł₮ ĐØ₦Ɇ ₳₦Đ ɎØɄⱤ ₳₵₵Ɇ₴₴łØ₦ ₥ł₲Ⱨ₮ ฿Ɇ ₵Ø₦₴łĐɆⱤɆĐ. ɎØɄⱤ Ⱡł₣Ɇ. ł₴ Ø₦ ₮ⱧɆ Ⱡł₦Ɇ.
>And the keepers eyes return to their normal deamonic self
>They just stare at me for a couple minutes like I fucking murdered their dog and laughed about it
>¥ðµ kñðw whå† †ð Ðð. §lµ†,
>I aint getting off this planet anytime soon. I dont even know what the fuck im looking for besides a sister.
>Call over the transmitter to orbit. Transmit all channels to worshippers of the Prince. Demand to liquidate 50% of all forces on the flag ship to be dropped below.
>That. Though will be said when it comes.
>Hell, is about to be realized.
>be me
>brother-captain of the Marines Malevolent
>this has gotta be the worst day of my military career
>remaining handful of battle-brothers are failing to push through to the HQ
>swear i can see a Lamenter in the distance laughing at me
>yeah laugh it up cocksucker you'll see
>you'll all see
>see some drop pods falling in the distance
>is that
>is that the grey knights?
>Emperor be praised, finally someone with some sense around here!
>wait what's that
>oh fuck those are tyranids making planetfall aren't they
>fuck sake
>decide that's a problem for later
>the problem for now is staying alive in this literal sea of heretics and xenos
>hope we don't run out of ammo
>Be me. Tank commander Lurian.
>The earguards are almost getting overwhelmed.
>The interior of the tank is practically boiling.
>The air is hot and thick and stale. I'm drenched in my own sweat, and even I've taken off a layer.
>Magma cannons generate a ton of heat. That, plus the other guns, and the engine, and the capacitors, all going off constantly is a fucking sauna.
>Can look through the command view slits and see the rough battle.
>It looks like a shooting range. Normally, there's only one specific type of xenos, but now, I've lost track.
>Eh, who cares? I'm in a big frag-off tank, and there's no way they're hearing anything I shout at them.
>Pour myself another glass of amasec and get comfy.
>Can feel the vibrations of hundreds of impacts on the hull in my chair. Constantly.
>Write out a series of orders to the driver, then lean back and have a snooze.

>Get woken up by vox operator.
>Tank is impressively cool and well lit.
>They have the hatches open.
>Can't hear combat. Nothing else really.
>Pop out of the command hatch.
>Entire surface of tank is covered in molten metal from impacted rounds splattering on the hull.
>It's like a swirly chrome plating, but shimmers with little bone and crystal inserts.
>Actually looks pretty flash.
>Consider yelling at crew to not sit on the tank in their underwear like pinup models. Or the guard for copying them.
>Decide not to ruin everyone's mood. Moments like this only come every so often.
>Break out amasec instead.
>I loaded way too much into my personal storage compartments anyway.
>Am I...bonding?
>Feels kinda...nice.
>Let people relax and wind down for a little bit. Get the engineers working on making sure Mercy's still able to run.
>Aside from being roundabouts a third out of fuel and two thirds out of ammunition, and being given her impromptu chrome plating, and having a couple pockmarks everywhere, we're good as new.
>So, not good as new, but acceptable.
>We can move, and we can fight.
>We're back in the game.
>Order everyone to stations, but to keep hatches open.
>Order vox operator to perform a wide vox broadcast offering our services as a super heavy tank with anti-titan capacity.
>Thought in back of head alerts me that maybe broadcasting over every frequency in the entire range of broadcasting might go wrong.
>Eh, what's the worst that can happen? We're a high priority asset.
>Be Heretek Sazana Zaruwka of Dark Mechanicum
>fight necrons
>so much great xeno tech
>if i wasn't in a knight i could
>no no time for that
>jump on vox frequencies
>on every single one some lady is saying abaut super tank
>with anti-titan capacity
>it's to good to be true
>contact with the warsmith
>he screams at me
>take few Iron Warriors and some cultists
>such good piece of weapon deserve's better owner
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>Be PDF sniper Pvt. Catherine Morecambe
>I've made my nest in one of the local towers and stocked up on ammo
>The power's out and I had to walk up to the 27th floor, so it's a good thing I didn't skip leg day
>I might not look beefy, but you'd be surprised
>By now I'm running out of space for kill notches
>I'll probably get sent off to the Guard with the tithe later for actually being good if I survive this
>There's no shortage of things to shoot at least
>The good thing about using ballistic rifles is that they can be much more discreet and harder to spot than las weaponry
>From up here I can see everything that goes on
>There's a massive explosion near the regiment HQ
>I hope that killed the major-general, I never liked that snooty bitch
>I've been watching a huge tank driving around town as well
>I've shot several cultists brandishing huge C5 sticky charges for them
>You can thank me for saving your asses later, if you ever find out
>The high-powered scope is excellent for watching the crew pose without much clothing on too
>A few guardsmen taking off their shirts and joining in is a VERY welcome addition to the spectacle
>Almost miss an Iron Warrior appearing on the rooftop over the street
>What are you doing here, you metal monster?
>Think, think, think of a way you might be able to take out this heavily armoured twerp with a rifle
>Load DU penetrator round, breathe out, take aim, up a bit, fire
>A couple of seconds later he stumbles slightly as a dent appears in his helmet forehead and he looks around for who just shot him
>Rats, didn't go through the armour, but now I have an idea
>Load second round, breathe out, take aim, pray, fire
>Couple of seconds later, his right eyepiece explodes in a spray of glass and blood and he pitches forward off the roof into the street
>Hopefully that alerted them, since there's more of them plus cultists coming behind him
>Your little guardian angel can only do so much and I honestly doubt I'll be able to repeat that trickshot
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>Be Lethendriel, Farseer of Craftworld Biel-Tan
>Swordwind engaged in heavy fighting against demons, chaos-spawn and a giant warp chicken
>there is a high price to pay, yet against a foe like this, it is a worthy bargain
>we are the most warlike Craftworld, after all
>it apperars we make actual progress
>wait, where is that shadow coming from?
>look up
>enourmous space debries closing in
>did i somehow anger the laughing god?
>the demon diverts it right on our position
>thats some Eldrad Ulthan level BS
>nope, nope, nope
>swordwind reacts immediatly, retreats as quickly as possible
>gotta go fast
>luckily, we aeldari are swift and mobile as hell
>not today, ChickenMcNugget
>so much for the Webway Gate
>it was probably defunct or closed off anyways (i hope)
>wonder how much the impact will fuck with the Hive. Heavy Earthquakes should be a thing
>Isha will shed no tears for them
>Their Mon-Keighs, after all
>Fuck Mon-Keighs
New Thread?
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yeah sure, why not

there are lots of unresolved plot lines on this thread and still a fairly large number of people posting

any requests for how I should describe it in the archives?
>Be Colonel Commissar McConnell of the Amerigo 12th Mechanized
>The battle for hab block B40 against the foul Necrons continues
>By now we have lost several vehicles and hundreds of men.
>Get word over the vox that daemons are showing attacking the HQ, Tyranids have arrived, and there is now a space hulk in orbit
>why does my regiment get all the fucked up campaigns
>seriously why can we never sent to fight a low-intensity insurgency
>get pulled from my thoughts by a fucking Pariah coming at me
> I quickly slag the fiend with my plasma-pistol
>with him down I vent the heat from my pistol, with it giving off a satisfying hiss
>but before i can get back into the fray, i see daemons approaching our right flank
>the only thing that spares my regiment is that the daemons and Necrons are just as interested in fighting each other as they are interested in fighting us
>just moments later a silver-coloured drop pod lands in the middle of the daemons
>out of it come Astartes clad in silver armour
warpfuckery, guard, lamenters. writefaggotry, chaos, tyranids, orcs, imperium,
Commissar poster here

how about we make a sequel thread on say June 12
One last map before the end of the thread

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