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>>72111866
Squats exist

>>72111866
Maybe not morally, but I'd love to tell him everything I know of the future just because I know in his hubris he will ignore me, and then be forced to remember it for ever while sitting on the golden throne.

>>72111866
How do you even use foreknowledge of century-spanning events to reliably get to the Big E to inform him?

>>72111883
I think he would have bigger issues at that point, but I love the idea.

>>72111866
Assuming I can get close to him wouldn't need to tell him anything: he's a motherfucking psyker god who reads minds like rejection messages from your crush.

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>>72111902
Somehow get an invite to a social event he is attending. He should notice your thoughts if he is close enough, though you may not want his direct attention. Imagine him approaching YOU once you got cold feet at actually seeing him.

>>72111902
You use the right channels and allude to enough secrets Big E hasn't told anyone while making clear you want to help but only trust telling him in person because of the potential disaster that can be yet averted to his dream.

>>72111954
Why wouldn't he just have you pulled aside and pull every think out of your mind my force?

>>72111970
That's probably the only way to convince Him that I'm not lying.

Of course, me believing it doesn't mean it will convince Him. >>72111883 can still happen.

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>implying the Emperor didn't know exactly what was going to happen from the moment he dunked on Lorgar

>>72111941
First let's assume you are transported back in time. Where do you appear? The galaxy is a big place.

Let's assume you are transported to a human-inhabited world. A hive city. You are now one worthless peon amongst billions.

Your next step is to get ahold of someone high-ranking. The planetary governor perhaps. Good luck getting an audience with him.

Next you have to confide what you know, that you are from the future, and that you need to talk to the Emperor himself. Of course the person you confide in is guaranteed to be corrupt and have their own agendas, or assume you are a witch or madman and have you executed.

Assuming you do get past this stage, now you have to travel for years to get to Terra, and somehow get an audience with Big E himself and assume he doesn't smite you like he did to Magnus. No easy task.

I just don't see an Anon from /tg/ making it very far at all.

>>72112179
>some dude arriving via ship to warn me about a potential future through a normal conversation.

vs.

>Giant red nigger psychically smashing through all of my wards around my webway and give me a telepathic message, after I explicitly told him to cut that shit out.

Yes both of these people deserve the same amount of smiting.

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>>72112558
Custodians. Remove this raving madman from my sight. How did he even get in here?

I mean, the Emperor was a huge asshole, but it would still probably be better to tell him than let the Heresy happen.

All you do is make things worse. Chaos fucks you around so your memory is altered and you give big E bad info. Or they just change the plan.

He might just decide to purge defective legions, fostering their fall to Chaos. He might accelerate the webway project or such but nothing will really change. Chaos has complete mastery of events, the game was rigged from the start.

>>72111883
>>72112026
I mean, he is a powerful powerful psyker, he could probably tell if you're lying.

>>72111866
bigger issue would be chaos snatching you up or just the Big E instead steamrolling the heresy forward in an Odin-esque twist.

>>72113311
t.tzeench

imagine you're having a nice peaceful party in your tasteful ball gown then you suddenly hear KLUNK KLUNK KLUNK and see a giant 9 foot guy wearing full pure gold armor accompanied by a hobo carrying a flaming eagle
atmosphere
ruined

>>72113311
t.nulore chaos wank writer

>>72113311
>He might purge the traitor legions so the legions that were going to fall anyway end up falling
Okay

>>72111866
Malcador would have you killed by a dozen blanks three systems from terra

Nigga, I try and awaken the rightful masters of the Galaxy early and fuck over the Gayperium immediately. Although the chance to get myself killed is high, I'd wanna find a way to make the Necrons as large a thorn in the Imperium's side as physically possible as fast as possible, because they not only did nothing wrong, but also know what they're doing much better. Atop that since this is the 31st-32nd millenium I have no chance for a big tiddy Adepta Sororitas companion which I can convince to help me find the Emperor and warn him, since they don't even fucking exist yet. If I could have one, then maybe I'd actually be up for this whole debacle, but otherwise fuck this shit.

Other than that I really don't feel obligated as humanity is pathetically digging its own grave with their ignorance and their inability to think rationally, only persisting through sheer force of numbers like a giant swarm of vermin. If they weren't faggots that wiped species like the Interex out and didn't rely on STCs entirely they might actually be worth saving, but otherwise no. Also, if I can find a way to get the Eldar to fall harder I would, since their gay-ass species which only exists due to nepotism doesn't deserve to live. It would of course take some planning and I can't even speak Low Gothic, so all of these fantasies would most likely remain inside of my head for the longest of times while I starve in a gutter. Maybe I'd turn out to be a powerful psyker, or a psyker and get rounded up, which would with some luck get me in a position where I can try and convince a person of authority to help me see the Emperor because as it is evident I know what will happen to the Imperium. Wouldn't count on it though.

>>72111866
If I could I would. Long story short The Emperor's vision is probably as good as it's going to get for Warhammer 40k Humanity.

>>72111883
You wouldn't need to tell him he would read that in your mind and then kill you for thinking badly about him.

>>72111866
I'd tell him via message that he deserves what he gets for being a misogynistic wife-beater then neck myself surrounded by Blanks so he doesn't get the satisfaction of finding out what's coming for him.

Pretty sure he'd already know

>somehow manage to approach the Emperor, despite being a literal nobody
>tell him everything I know, all my knowledge coming from 40k lore
>he already knows all that because he's the Emperor
>thought he's intrigued by the fact that a apparent commoner like me knows stuff of that level
>he thanks me for my words, and tells me his associates will take care of me
>best case scenario I get immediately executed
>worst case scenario I get brutally tortured and interrogated over and over (because they will definitely not believe that I learned it all from playing tabletop games) and executed

>>72114269
Then why the fuck didn't he prevent it?

>>72111941
This sounds like the opening of an elaborate female reader x Emperor fanfic

>>72114583
Knowing everything =/= Being able to act on everything

>>72111866
>thank you Anon, this was very valuable information
>brain wipes you
>proceeds do the exact same shit as before out of sheer arrogance

>>72113781

based

>>72115774
based on what?

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>"You're not fucking real, golden faggot."

>>72111866
Assuming it's possible to get a chance to talk to him 1-on-1...


>Sup, Neo you great gold faggot? I'm from 2020AD You remember the Moon Landing, you ugly ass motherfucker? Right around there. Now, I come from some kind of parallel world where all your great plans & mysteries are a game we play with little plastic dudes we like to paint & be autistic about. The great thing is, this knowledge has given me keen insight as to your many fuck ups as you selfishly try to attain your lofty goals. First things first, CHAOS! Whoops was I supposed to whisper that? Maybe tell some of your 20 kids about it, so they don't get killed for trusting them. So you remember your girl Erda who you & Olly used to hang with & talk about you're great plans for the human race? She wants to help you but once you make those 20 Primarch babies she is gonna YEET them right into the Warp because she hates you that much, so maybe don't be such a dick, & maybe keep a better eye on your kids. In the 30k millennium your favorite kid Horus (one of the aforementioned yeeted kids) will get pissy with you & get corrupted by Lorgar who gets turned to Chaos by his megafaggot adoptive dad. So 9 of your kids turn traitor & 9 of them stay loyal. 2 of them get fucked up so bad before this happens that there is no record of them because you & Mal over there ghosted them. And trust me, when you see how fucked up Angron gets, yet doesn't get ghosted it'll have you wondering just exactly what will be going on with those too. Anyhow, you won't believe Magnus when he tells you either, & he will consort with Chaos so he can crash all your wards around Terra because he is so desperate to reach you. This fucks up you SUPER SECRET WEBWAY PROGECT! Whoops I should have whispered that shit too. So anyhow, as you single handedly try to do what the Eldar did & make a little warp tunnel stargate system all your kids are gonna fight, you'll be forced to intervene directly & ya boi Horus is gonna fuck you up big

>>72116684
>so big your gonna be a steaming potato of a corpse 10k millennium later as all your grand schemes go to shit, & Chaos cracks the galaxy in two, leaving your poor kids that haven't suffered enough to suffer even more.

Now, I hope you took notes because I need you to send me back to my wife & kid so you don't fuck up your lives like you've fucked up all the lives in this galaxy. Peace.
>mic drop followed by a dap

How quickly would you be assassinated by nobles if the Big E rewarded you by making you his cupbearer? He is clearly doing this is because he wants you close by and he find it funny. To the Imperium's nobles some random fuck face commoner just got the Emperor's ear, that is gonna get you a lot of attention.

>>72116588
Congratulations.
You just deontologically pissed off a being capable of going toe-to-toe with divine beings with the ego of Alpha Centauri by telling him that in a parallel universe is a fictional character which actions are portrayed by third tier authors and war games of plastic figurines assembled by young men. Had you ever seen The Last Action Hero? Remember that part in which Slater meets Arnold and even he being a bona fide good guy he was this close to wipe the floor with the man and he was just the actor that portrayed him, not even the director, the producer, or the script writer. Now imagine the reaction Big E would have, and you were capable of visiting his parallel so WHAT IN THE FUCKING MULTIVERSE DOES STOP HIM OF DOING THE SAME?
So now we have our Earth being invaded by a massive army capable of conquering a galaxy and with technology that makes us look like the booger-eating-retard-armed-with-a-stick that charges front of a fucking ED209 with Windows Vista as main OS.
And of course, being aware there are other parallels means that Big E would not stop there. Oh fucking no, he will find out that LATERAL CONQUEST is way, WAY more fruitful for his goals than just a pathetic post-collapse galaxy and you know what that means, don't you, boyo goyo? It means that the fucking Time War or the War in Heavens, or the motherfucking War of the Ancients (the one fought between Cthulhu, Elder Things, Mi-Go, Yith and Serpentfolk) would look like a Ghana war movie compared with the clusterfuck Crisis in Infinite Earth: Alan Moore team-up with Grant Morrison and Warren Ellis TERACONFLICT that would unleash upon everyone's sorry ass!

>>72117851
If you stick with the Emp, that mean custodian around. And since they know the Emp want you Alice and within hand reach, you are pretty safe.

>>72118139
>Anon telling the Emp that is fictional in other unvierse unleashes a Second Greater Crusade in which invades others universes.

This sounds like awful fan-fiction.

>>72111866
Yes I would be. Countless billions of human lives are at stake. I would do everything in my power to warn the Emperor about the grimdark future. Well, almost everything. Don't wanna go the Magnus route and make everything worse.

>>72111866
Fuck that, I'd warn Lorgar, Leman, Roubute, Rogal, and Magnus.
>Lorgar, your faith is unmatched and without question, and in time The Emperor will see his divinity, but today he will not. His Hubris makes him stubborn past description, to change his course you will need to bide your time, centuries if you must. Only the Lectitio Divinitatus can save man, you must bear this burden, or else the Neverborn will make even the greatest of Humanity their pawns. Look inward for this strength and share it with you legion just as the Emperor does with himself and humanity, and be wary of Erebus.
>Leman, remember that the pack that fights its own kin will never hold the strength to survive in the wilds. Look past the Vylka Fenrika, and see your brothers long detached as they though they braved The Leviathan along with you, even those who fill you with distrust on the deepest level. The actions of your darkest moments will haunt you, and not even death will be an escape from them.

>>72118259
>Son of Ultramar, remember that every man who has been forced to bow his head low has used it to fuel resentment and that resentment will grow to hate. Terrors unmatched are coming that will make the tragedy of your two lost brothers less a footnote in history. Look to your brothers, and see them as the only ones who can steer humanity away from damnation
>Rogal, you see yourself and your brothers as a wall holding back the tide, the truth is that you are linked like a chain, lifting humanity above the abyss. Be wary of tearing down your brothers in the belief you can build them back up, once you have broken them, all will fall, so instead reinforce them. Look to Perturabo as the first, make him your brother and together you will build great works
>Magnus, your power has marked you, in the seas of magick lays a creature that cannot be known, that plays a great game where the rules are his to change, all who play it become his pawns. Go to Jaghatai and Sanguinius, learn to find the paths that they find, and always trust them, the galaxy will burn and none who stand-alone will save it, this will be the most important thing you ever learn.

>>72111883
You just have to tell him you know about shit like the thunder warriors being put down or his dealings with the chaos gods to create the primarchs and it will peak his interest enough to at least heed your warnings.

After a throurough interrogation of course.

>>72118220
Which universes could stop the Emperor and the Great Crusade armies?
Star Trek, Babylon 5, Star Wars, Farscape, Stargate... those would become Emp's bitches in a blink of an eye.

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I'll look for the Eldar. They will probably send someone after me on the order of some farseer anyway so I might as well try to have them on my side and tell them all the shit I know in exchange for an Eldar wife or at least some nice accomodations in a craftworld.

>>72118445
Nigroid, you are going to end full John Grammaticus and you know it.

>>72118259
>>72118271
hello shard of the emperor's parental guilt

>>72118281
>After a throurough interrogation of course.
You mean torture session followed by a gruesome death.

>>72118139
Dan Annette is not third-tier.

>>72115088
wrong it was male reader all along

>>72111866
I mean, maybe if you want to try to avoid some death, but there is a bigger chance of Horus tripping on a rock and cracking his head than a complete and utter normie like you getting within earshot of the emperor.


But like >>72111883 said, he'd probably just ignore it like he ignored people like Uriah. Big Emps has an ego bigger than the Tyranid Hivemind.

>>72119789
+1, Dan Abnett is awesome

>>72111866
Why tell him if I can ask him to look into my mind and have him see it all?

>>72120352
Because then he has to sit through all the freaky fetish porn you've seen too?

>>72118284
I refuse to believe that Jack O'Neill couldn't kill any false he decided was bad for America

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>You're saying this was all predicted by a "tabletop miniature wargame" based on 10,000 years in the future?
>What do you mean I don't have an official model but my sons do?
>Are Custodes a competitive army?
>Space Marines only have 1 wound? That doesn't sound right...
>What's a "Tau" and why should I be worried about "drone spam"?

>>72120665
Have I gotten to Primaris Marines yet? Hold up til then at least

I am gonna take a shot at this, but I am shit a writing so sorry.

>Be me, a reincarnated Anon born on some Early modernish world with fantasy elements.
>Father is a Duke, so I am at least well off as a sixth son.
>Have some freedom as I am a distant spare, but I need to be seen as proper for the family.
>"invent" a few minor stuff from Earth, pen designs, smokeless powder and the plastic wrap on the end of tooth picks.
>Early twenties I get sent by Father to witness some speech by the King.
>Some Stars are moving and the 11 major kingdoms have called on some ancient treaty to rally together if such an omen occurs.
>What the hell is going on.
>Stars, get closer... is that a fucking ship?!

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>>72120665
>This "Games Workshop"... is it a loving and just creator God?

>>72120927
>The Imperium has arrived, and I am freaking the fuck out.
>Based on how the Imperials greeted us I am thinking this is Great Crusade era.
>The nobles of higher rank get invited to a party on board Big E's flagship, I can't say no without causing a huge scandal and possible ruin things for my family... shit!
>I am trying to play it cool and stay out of the way, the other nobles know I am introverted so nothing to far out about that.
>While eating some of the bombass food in the corner, I see the Custodes walk down the bigass stairs, annoucing the Emperor's arrival.
>He looks even more awe inspiring than the art work...

>>72121049
>I try and calm myself down, I almost forgot he is a hugely powerful psyker, I need to keep a low profile.
>I am just the distant spare to a Duke, and a minor inventor.
>I am not that interesting.
>There is no way he can tell I am a reincarnate with metaknowledge about the setting, him and his sons, and chaos.
>From the midway down the stairs, the Emperor looks me dead in the eyes, gold lights seemingly peer into my soul.
>FUCK!
>I drop the wine I was drinking and run blindly and panicing.

>>72121137
>I don't even know why I ran.
>I just bolted the second I felt those golden eyes peer into my soul.
>I don't even know where I could even run, I am on HIS ship.
>I run past servants and menials and they don't even notice or try and stop me.
>I run into something, and bouce off it to the ground.
>I see a Custodes towering over me.
>God he looks like a giant...
>He doesn't seem to even notice me, likely just ignoring me while preventing me from crossing the doorway.
>I just take it in stride, and try to back the other door in this hall.
>Another Custodes is blocking that too.
>I didn't even see them arrive or follow...

>>72121259
>I start panicing more.
>I try telling them I was looking for a bathroom.
>That I need to get back to the party.
>That I need to know why they won't let me leave this hallway.
>They aren't harming me, just preventing me from leaving and staying dead quiet.
>Time passes, I start coming down from the fight or flight energy and start falling into despair.
>I am gonna die, I am gonna get mindraped and blanked!
>I have no idea of long I have been held here.

I'd rather tell Dorn not to be a fucking Emo and let Abaddon shit the bed on his own.

>>72118139
>anon makes emperor buttblasted
Based

>>72111866
>Get transported to the Great Crusade era
>End up born on a planet fed to the World Eaters, Wolves, Death Guard, or Dreadwing

Well, I'm not getting anywhere.

>>72116742
> strange traveller, I would thank you and raise you high in honors for your warning...
> but your faggot ass dab I can not forgive
*kills you*

>>72118284
>Dr Who
>DC
>Marvel
>Xeelee
>Culture
>Anime show 1
>anime show 2
>anime show 384739438
>my 40k fanfiction
Stay mad 40kid

>>72121376
>I am still bawling and bemoaning my fate, when I hear it.
>CALM DOWN!
>Only I didn't hear it as a voice, more like a loud thought in my head.
>I feel cold, devoid of emotion, empty, nothingness.
>"We have much to discuss."
>Wat?
>I turn and see a REALLY old man in really plain brown robes and hood.
>HOLY SHIT IT IS MALCADOR, I NEE-
>"You need to calm down and stop think so openly. Now be quiet and follow me."
>He turns around and starts walking, clearly expecting me to actually follow.
>The Custodes are seemingly gone...
>Why didn't I just fake sickness and skip the party?

>>72113311
>chaos has complete control of events
no one cares about your shitty headcanons ADB

>>72116588
Based and redpilled
>>72118139
Cringe and seethepilled

Kill Lorgar and Erebus. Hand myself over to the Emperor.

>>72118284
Star Trek is literally golden age humanity.
They might not have roided supermen or other impressive ground forces but their highly superior Starships would mop the floor with overgrown citadel-train-chunks that behave like 18th century navy shit.

>>72121519
>I am in some sorta study, Malcador is sorting through books and scrolls and is ignoring me.
>I sit at some chair in the corner sipping a glass of water a Servant wordlessly handed me.
>I stopped trying to talk with the Sigillite and try and relax.
>The room is dead quiet besides a ticking grandfather clock.
>"He will be here soon."
>"And why does he want to speak with me?" I hopelessly ask to try and bullshit my way out of here.
>He looks at me like an idiot and doesn't respond.

>>72121636
>The death of a Primarch destabilises the Imperium further
>Horus still falls for Chaos somehow
>Khan goes AWOL, still leading to equal sides

>>72112179
>Assuming you do get past this stage, now you have to travel for years to get to Terra
Worse than that. This is great crusade era, he's on his ship in the ass end of nowhere, on planets where the only way to get there is to be a colonist or guardsman and he'll be gone by the time you arrive.

Unless you show up on on his ship or one of its escorts you have no chance.

>>72115720
Underrated response

>>72112179
Tbh though I'm not sure we can directly compare a planetary governor from the 40th millennium to one of the 30th millennium with the imperium at the height of its power and the Big E still around

>>72111866
Even if he wouldn't listen, I must tell him. To see disaster coming, have the ability to try and prevent it, and do nothing makes you complicit.

>>72121670
Not with how slow their ships are and they really are fucking slow.

Lots of ships in star wars don't even have beds because you can get from almost anywhere to anywhere in a couple of days. People travel halfway across the galaxy for a meeting.

Imagine actually uniting a world under working communism then some Gold Man takes over with his million world Empire.

>>72122053
40k warp travel is risky as hell. With named protagonist power you can get across the galaxy in a short time. Otherwise its years or the warp spits you out hundreds of years in either direction. If you don't get flooded with demons, lost, or otherwise destroyed.

>>72111866
To tell him that he fails, and that his vision for humanity's future is supplanted with Lorgar's vision for humanity's future, with him as a literally comatose figurehead? Yeah, that sounds like something he'd want to know.

>>72122913
E & Malcador knew some of the Primarchs would fall to Chaos. Just not which ones, how, and when.

>>72115088
Well the Primarchs do need a mother figure...

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>>72118284
>"Lord-President Rassilon reporting in for fuck shit up duty, what appears to be the situation?"
>"Well, there's some assholes with spaceships shooting at the Transduction Barrier. They're not really doing any damage though, we could probably just ignore them for the rest of eternity and we'd all be fine."
>"Nah, let's fuck around with these faggots. Let's destroy their entire universe, just for shits and giggles. No, let's turn their universe into cheese, yeah, cheese; cheese that's so bad, you get fucking cancer just from looking at it, unless you're behind a Transduction Barrier. Also, let's turn all of the universes anyway near theirs into cancer-cheese, too. In fact, let's make it so that their universe was always caner-cheese and make it impossible for anything other than cancer-cheese to even exist, even on a conceptually level."
>"How do you sleep at night, sir?"
>"I don't, but it's worth it."

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>>72120510

>>72118284
From that list, only Star Wars has a chance

>>72123092
I'd read the shit out of that

>>72123607
Who the fuck is thsi guy anyways? Looks dumb as fuck

>>72121670
>Star trek ships could beat 40k ships.
>The largest star fleet ship is 1.6 km long
>The largest ship in star trek is 3 km long/high
>Space marine battle barges are 5.5 km long
>40k Apocalypse class battleships are 15km long

I'm not saying "muh 40k so stronk. best universe!" but one faction is built from the ground up about fighting huge wars and one isn't.

>>72121696
Hey cmon anon you cut it out when it was getting interesting

There's no way in hell I'd ever get close enough, let alone let him convince me. The Empoeror would just think I was the creation of warp/chaos fuckery.

>>72111866
Serious question-
What the fuck could I tell the Emperor that he doesn't already know?
I'm like 99.99% convinced he already knew this shit down to a T, up to having already done at least part of it already before.
Case in point:
"I told you that?"
-Horus when the Emperor mentioned some story he got told from before.

>>72113311
>I WANTED TO LOSE TRUST ME

>>72125555
I didn't get feedback so assumed nobody was interested.

>emperor reading our thoughts
Wouldn't we be blanks?

>>72122706
That happened?

>>72125804
Not that I know of it was a joke.

>>72125744
Nah man, with the power of my quad fives i ask thee to continue please

>>72111866
>implying the Heresy wasn't part of his plans

>>72121696
I am writing again.

>We are back to awkward (for me) silence.
>Malco is wiriting something dow-
>"Please don't refer to me as Malco."
>Alright Mallyboi is pulling a Tywin Lannister on me, well hopefully the Big E get here quickly and steals my mind quickly, I am now bored as shit.
>Though Malcador has some cool shit in here.
>Is that a Soviet era sputnik satellite?
>The writing stops, I peek at Mallyboi looking at me with an intense expression.
>"Is that really Sputnik 1? Or a later model or replica?' I ask, wondering.
>"... I don't know it's name just that it is oldest Terran satellite recovered."
>He takes a deep breath as if resigned.
>"What is a Soviet?" He asks me with great interest.
>"A workers group, the name was co-oped by the USSR after the First World War."
>He looks at me with clearly more question.

>>72118284
Babylon 5, prior to the exodus of the Old Ones, and Star Trek could definitely win. Star Wars Universe has good odds. Don't know enough lore from the others.

>>72126089
>Malcador struggling with pet names
Lmao

>>72126089
>I explained a bit of the World Wars I knew of and abit of laymen knowledge of the era.
>He has a taken quite a few notes, he seems conflicted?
>"We should wait til the Emperor arrives to save time explaining your situation."
>I try desperatly not to think of the the big E's past-
>Malcador stares intently at me.
>"Please stop reading my mind, it is really unsettling..."
>He huffs, "Then stop thinking so openly and at least guard your thoughts. I am doing this without effort on my part. Your mind is an open book. Leaking all your surface thoughts."
>That explains Big E noticing me when I thought of his, his sons and Chaos's nature.
>"How do you-"
>Mallyboi seem- *I am suddenly pushed against the wall*
>"Ok, I will stop"

>>72118284
Doctor Who > Empire of Man
Stargate > Empire of Man
Star Trek > Empire of Man
Babylon 5 > Empire of Man
Empire of Man > Star Wars
Empire of Man > Farscape

>>72125150
He's a Time Lord who doesn't go on wacky adventures in a telephone box.

>>72126278
>"Our Master has been delayed, but he should be heading right here soon."
>That gets my attention.
>What will I even tell the Emperor?
>"Whatever he requires you to."
>"I know THAT! But what is going to be required of me?! What will happen to me?" I am starting to panic again.
>"We are more interest in what you know then you yourself." Malcador tells me, seemingly bored again.
>I start thinking about the time period I find myself in, how many of the Primarchs have been found. What ca-
>"Three, we currently have found three of his sons."
>I go deadly quiet, is the Second still around? He was the third found if I remember right.
>Should I even ask?!
>"Do you know where the others are?" He is staring blankly at me now.

>>72126278
Bumping this

>>72126477
>"Kinda, I know a few names of worlds, but not where those worlds are."
>Malcador stand from his desk.
>"Even just the worlds names might help us narrow our search, we must know."
>I start listing off the worlds I can recall of the top of my head and a brief overview of some of them.
>He writes those all down, with great vigor as if in victory.
>Did I just fuck the timeline?!
>Oh shit how will this change things?!!
>I suddenly feel something, in my head.
>"Malcador is that you?"
>He looks at me in question.
>"I feel something in my head right now."
>The feeling vanishes and I feel the numbness from when Malcador calmed me down in the hall.
>"It is just our Lord checking up on you. Be at ease."
>That was HIM? How did I even notice if- he must have let me know or was just pinging me to make sure I was still here or something.
>I ask for some more water, HE should be here soon.

>>72126623
Oh shit nigga

>>72126623
>Before Malcador even finish requesting my water (and some of my favorite spiced bread from planetside, the fucker is messing with me), the Bid E himself walks right in.
>HE is wearing white robes with a red scarf thing around HIS shoulders.
>HE just walks in, no guards pomp, or even Malcador greeting HIM.
>HIS eyes are like glowing molten gold.
>HE just walks right in at up to me, he isn't as tall now as he was at the party.
>Maybe that is an attempt to keep me calm? Or just moving around easier?
>"~Lets try this again, with out the panic and running~"
>His voice is like fucking silk! He offers his hand and I shake it with out thinking about it.
>"~So you are Terran originally?~"
>"Yes... how did you know?"
>"~It is many a forgotten custom on all but Terra.~"

>>72126765
I am getting food and will be back soon.

>>72118284
Forerunners

>>72126802
Sure thing man, this is some really entertaining stuff.

>>72111866
Implying that HIM on terra does not know what is he doing ? Basicly telling Magnus the red to hold your beer , good luck with that

>>72126802
Thanks, king. You're doing god's job.

>>72111866
No. Orcs will keep him alive forever anyway. There’s no point.

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>>72127112
Just you wait- The imperium will exterminate all orcs any day now!.. Aaaaany day now...

Bump

Bump

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>>72126802
>>72126765

This good, good job, enjoy the food, get back to writing when you can.

>>72126765
>"Really, I guess nobody planetside did handshacks either."
>"~What era do you come from?~"
>"I remember it was about 2020ish AD, when I died. I think I died, don't recall what happened. I regained my former memories why I was 6. They came slowly over a few years."
>HE seems quite stirred by this.
>"~I had my agents do a brief overview of your life so far, that would explain your inventions with your lack of much higher education as well as your reputation for being aloof. If you reincarnate again don't stand out as much, it would have made you a target if you were not a Duke's son.~"
>Shit, was I really that weird?
>I decide to take that advice, if my condition is repeated.
>Wait...
>"Am I a Perpetual now?!"
>"~I don't believe so.~"
>HE places his left hand on my head, I feel a shock and drop to my knees.
>"~You are now.~"

>>72127556
What the fuck, this went from 0 to 100 in a sec, please keep going anon.

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>>72127556

>>72127556
so now you're the babysitter to a bunch of demigods.

>>72127556
Gay

>>72127733
Eat shit and die, anon.

>>72127556
>"What did you do?!"
>I was in shock, on the verge of tears, I didn't want to live forever?! That was ASKING for trouble.
>"~I awakened your souls potential, you have abysmal Physic talent but your Soul and mind are essentially natural relighting candles, I merely reinforced your soul.~"
>"Wat?"
>"~I boosted your soul, as it was capable of Perpetualhood.~"
>"But why?"
>"~Your knowledge makes you too valuable to risk, and trustworthy agents are rare.~"
>"But I have no skills you need, and you just met me!"
>"~Doesn't matter, you now have all the time in the world.~" HE says quietly.
>"What if I didn't want to live forever." I say with a tinge of anger.
>"~If you know about the "Setting", My sons, the Enemy, and me; Then you know humanity needs champions. Everyone that is able MUST be brought into the fold if the Dream is to be achieved. By making you a Perpetual, you are now tied to ME and humanity as a whole. Our future is your future. Rest assured, you will be provide training and allies.~"
>"My Lord, we talked about this. You need to ease him into it!"
>"~Not Now Malcador, he just needs to see so he will hold nothing back~"

>>72127751
Sorry but I hate mastabatory Mary sue covksucking bullshit. This anon started with something decent but with every post he delves deeper into a pattern of shota-style storytelling.

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>>72127758

>>72127758
>"Don't I at least get to feel I had a choice in this?"
>"No." "~No.~"
>Well, fuck.
>"How will I explain this to my family? What do I even say to them?"
>Malcador steps toward me, handing me a small scroll.
>"You are being raised up as the Emperor's cupbearer, a post you will keep til you are full prepped and trained. This will also give us time to get your knowledge."
>"~After that we will see what lay next.~"
>"You are gonna make me an errand boy, aren't you?"
>"~Of sorts!~" HE chuckles.
>"You will not be taken with us yet. You will help us bring compliance to (insert planet name here) and we will ensure your family are ensured a place in the Imperium."
>Well that is at least something, the hell even is my life.
>"You get use to it." Malcador shrugs.

>>72127867
You are free to write your own, I started with admitting my shit skills at writing.

>>72127873
Warhammer is a horrible setting to JUST be immortal in, I don't have any skills, talents, or powers to keep me safe. It is basically forcing me to side with the guys with guns.

>>72127881
I don't know if I should detail what I know, jump forward a bit, or whatever.

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>>72127881
This is fucking good keep going

>>72128007
skipping forward a bit would be cool

>>72128077
>>72128098
I was thinking confronting the family planetside or skipping to meet Horus, Leman, and the Second.

>>72128118
That's not a bad idea anon, but i really, really recommend you never do the "Insert planet here" thing. That's bad.

>>72128187
I am a shit writer, what can I say, I couldn't think of anything to name the planet.

>>72127881
bump

>>72127881
>My time back home didn't go well.
>"What in the Hells did you do, boy!"
>Father was PISSED.
>When I told him of my new job, he accused me of abandoning the family.
>I was stripped of my Noble Status by him disowning me.
>What the actual fuck?
>He should have been happy his spare got a line to the mother fucking Emperor!
>It appears Our King accused my Father of subversion for my gaining of my new post.
>Father thinks I am at fault here, and I guess I kinda am in a way.
>But this is bullshit.
>Maybe the whole Custodes escort back home bypassing the capitol didn't help.
>My brothers want to know what happened, but I literally can't tell them other than that the Big E offered be a job.
>It also doesn't help that, "Brother" Legos (yeah that is his name, he gave me) doesn't speak a WORD to my family or our Servants.
>Legos only reminds me each hour how long I have to pack and settle my affairs before he drags me back to Big E.
>On good news, I am out of an arranged marriage I didn't know about. Though Mother is beside herself about it.

>implying most of /tg/ would do anything more than travel to experience the Eldar's degeneracy firsthand

>>72128894
continue

>>72128894
>Big E had his agents calm Father and the King down.
>Offical story is the Emperor and I hit it off at the party and I totally didn't freak out like a bitch.
>Home has been offically brought into the fold.
>The Northern Kingdom, tried to go solo.
>They lost ALL trade, their economy shit itself, and their Rival Kingdom was granted first rights to uplifting.
>The North caved after the Nobles put the King's heir in power instead.
>I don't know what their King was expecting.

>My room on the ship is nice, I have a whole suite.
>Even the sink is gold, wtf?
>Emps got me a sweet necklace, and a humie sized bolt pistol with WAY to much bling that is somehow my badge of office.
>Emps and Mal want me as cupbearer so they can use my mind as reference material or something.
>Legos was made my personal Guard.
>During my first lesson with Malcador he tested my psyker abilities and potential.
>"Utterly pathetic, if the average human is a match in the warp you are barely two. This is a waste of both our times."
>So much for that...

>>72129671
why not ask the emperor to scavenge the old data vaults of terra? they may perhaps still contain an archive of the legendary '1d4chan'

>>72130012
Assuming it existed on Ancient Terra in this timeline. And that it still remains.

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>>72129671
dont stop anon. if this thread gets ded then keep the story rolling in a new storytime thread. this is great

>>72130220
I have been winging it, writing as it comes to me.

>>72130055
if it does not only would mankind be saved but perhaps every sentient good soul in this galaxy may yet be pulled from damnation

>>72130228
its still pretty good to me my man. id been passively lurking the thread till you started posting

>>72111866
i tell this fucking corporate soul guy in a golden tuna can with constant microwaves of charisma blasting off him to read my fuckign mind and rip the memories out so Fulgrim never gets sexually assaulted for 14 thousand years.

>>72129671
This is some gud shit anon, keep going

>>72120665
oh that's fucking gold. that's going in the fucking time capsule

>>72127556
>the golden soul brick can turn you into a perpetual like a dickscord mod status
kinda cringe nigger, but keep going

>>72112179
>First let's assume you are transported back in time. Where do you appear? The galaxy is a big place.
You appear toward the beginning of the Great Crusade and then meld into his armour.

You are the screaming face on his right knee of the armour.

>>72111866
If the Emperor was always that big how the fuck did no one noticed that maybe he was someone special for 1000+ years?

>>72131487
thats because he was small in the 1900 A.C and normal sices in the time B.C
in the 40k times all humans are tiny.

>>72131487
He got his powers super charged when he went to Moloch

>>72111866
"Do you always wear that around?"

>>72130228
Please, don't stop now. It's so great to read.

>>72111866
Yes.
Believe it or not, but I actually care for the future of humanity.
I then tell him to go have a talk with Lorgar, and to fill the Primarchs in more about chaos, why it's dangerous, and what to do.
And then I grab Malcador and tell him why he needs to assassinate Erebus and Kor Phaeron.

>>72118259
>>72118271
Cut out the middle man, and get the people willing to do shit actually doing shit.
Amusingly, exactly as the Emperor always wanted.

>>72125722
He unironically did.
He wanted to start the ball rolling, then get deposed by his "Crafted to be a perfect leader" son, and people like the high lords or other supremely talented people, so he could go back to being an outsider like he's been most his life.

>>72111866
>Find a way to kill Erebus, Typhus, and Kor Phaeron because both were chaos obsessives.
>Find an excuse to get Robute and Sanguinius, for their administrative mind and empathetic ability respectively, to console Lorgar and help him rebuild his legion and himself around a core of HFY instead of religion. Also to foster brotherhood between them.
>Find a convenient location to kill Angron off at to give him a magnificent but very death-y death. Remake the World eaters into their previous glory of the Dusk raiders.
>Persuade Dorn to work and collaborate with Perturabo more, and for Leman and his legion to look to others as treasured friends not potential foes.

>Finally, quarantine the whole god damn Davinite system. Go in with life eater virus, then penal troops in hazmat gear, then Custodes.

>>72132824
>world eaters
>dusk raiders

Bump

>>72115720
Kek

>>72120665
Technically he might know what GW is at some point, as essentially he is alive right now, just in hiding / keeping his powerlevel low.

>>72132824
>Remake the World eaters into their previous glory of the Dusk raiders.
WAR HOUNDS DAMMIT!
Everything else is good thou.

>>72113492

Indeed. Fuck 'em.

>>72132824
>>72136392
Alternatively you could go and find a way to remove Angron's Butcher's Nail with a cabal of uber powerful biomancers, extracting his soul into a container and then pumping it in back after his brain gets un-lobotomized and fully healed.

>>72129671
I am at a total block on where to go...

It would take forever and the odds of success are low as fuck. But this is the most plausible in lore way of doing it

>Hope you get stranded on or near a planet that will have a high profile battle you've read about
>Join or be conscripted into the IG
>Assuming your knowledge is accurate win the battle and perform many heroic deeds in the emperor's name
>Win glory and repeat until you've gained some fame
>Since you're basically a prophet of war , pull some strings to get an audience with someone more important (ie, closer to big E)
>Repeat until you can tell someone who matters something vital about the heresy
Sanguinius and the blood Angels never going to that demon planet is a good choice. Or Magnus not making the phone call, etc
>Stopping any one of like 5 major events will drastically turn the tides, making it so your knowledge is useless
>With any luck you would have solidified yourself as a hero of the imperium and stopped the heresy

More than likely you die a horrible death as a faceless nobody

>>72111866
Nope, cos there's nothing I could tell him that he hadn't already predicted/orchestrated ;)

>>72120927
>>72121049
>>72121137
>>72121259
>>72121376
>>72121519
>>72121696
>>72126089
>>72126278
>>72126477
>>72126623
>>72126765
>>72127556
>>72127758
>>72127881
>>72128894
>>72129671
This is too good to end. More please.

>>72136968
Pick a Primarch you know the origins of and that's who big E wants to find first.

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>>72136968
Something you need to decide on, even if it's not going to come up immediately, is that whether chaos is a passive observer to this or not.
Meaning that, when things start to change, is chaos on the backfoot and things mostly change for the positive?
Or is chaos somehow knowledgable about your influence, and things go just as badly, but differently, or even worse?

Also this >>72141409

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>>72136968
Just make sure you write about my boys, the Solar Auxilia. Even if they're just background.
Although, now that I think about it, you need a straight man/sympathetic ally- and all powerful custodes and space marines might not fit that bill. You could have a Solar Auxilia representative attached to your retinue as someone to bro it up with.
>with your increased powers and long warp travel, recreate 40k table top
>big E comes in one day to consult with you about a primarch location, only to see you and the soldar auxillery mid mission between ultrasmurfs and 'nids
>-THAT IS GOOD, YOU ARE PRACTICING TACTICS- YOU WILL NEED THOSE SKILLS IN TIME-
>-WAIT-
>-ANON, I REQUIRE YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT MY SPACE MARINES ARE FIGHTING THERE-

>>72111866
>If you got transported to Great Crusade era Warhammer, would you be morally obligated to find the Emperor and tell him what you know? Why or why not?
Morally, I would be obligated, yes.
HOWEVER
You're just "some fucking guy". maybe you were transported to an agri-world. Good luck "warning the emperor" when you're literally worked 20 hours per day seven days a week.
Maybe you were transported to a pilgrimage site. One of the books (can't remember which one) describe entire generations of families being born, living, marrying, giving birth to the next generation, over and over and over """just to get into the queue""". Maybe your great great great great great great grandson will relay some garbled form of your message to a bored receptionist who will summarily ignore it, sell them some incense and candles, and send them back through the generations-long queue to go home.

All your fantasies revolve around the fact that you're somehow granted a position of privilege that allow you to handwavium the vastness of the galaxy, the vastness of the Imperium, the queues, and the ponderous engine of bureaucracy.

trufax: You are teleported to Great Crusade-era 40k. You live a short, meaningless life because you can't speak the language, and you die a meaningless empty death with no one to notice your flyspeck life.

>>72142274
I live in Nepal. The palace should just be around here.

>>72118139
This post was made by the Emperor shitposting from the Golden Throne.

>>72118259
I'd try to rescue Angron before he gets the Nails. Which, in all honesty, would probably cause Sanguinius to fall in his place. Trade an Angel for a Red Angel.

Assume anyone playing this thought experiment arrives in the future on Holy Terra at the same location which they occupy now (adjusted dimensionally -- vertically first -- for elevation changes due to topographic or structural developments in the intervening millennia.

Hmmm; it should be quite simple to get from this outskirt of New York City to the Holy Palace, even if I have to take months crossing dry sea beds on foot. Before I go, however, I write down all relevant details that I can recall, making a great many copies, and start scattering them around Holy Terra for a few years, until there are hushed whispers of my forbidden book in shadows across the Imperium. The Emperor, and many others, shall have read all that I have to share. In time, I shall arrange to meet with the Emperor at his leisure, but it doesn't matter, as he'll already know all that I know about WH40K.

>>72111866
I think starting with the Tyranids is your best bet.
The Tyranids realistically aren't that far away, and if Emps used a psychic telescope, he could probably pick out the distinct pyschic impression of OMNOMNOM in yonder direction if he squinted his brain a bit.

However, realistically I don't think I'd be able to get close enough to tell him, and even if I did, he probably wouldn't listen.

>>72111866
Can't wrap travel send you back in time this far? Why hasn't this happened yet?

>>72111866
He already knows.

>>72141409
That works.

>>72141950
Right to the brain.

>>72142124
Co-oping this for latter.

And I am back.

>>72129671
>I was chilling with Mallibro
>CEASE
>You need to relax sometime Malcador...
>Also get our of my head.
>STOP THINKING SO LOUD THEN.
>I lean across the desk toward the Sigillite, "You could just talk."
>He gives me an unamused glare, points at the black board we are working on, "Whose banner is this?"
>"House Sii Gru?" Please be right.
>"What do they specialize in?"
>"... water treatment?"
>"Wrong on both accounts, It is House Gru Sii! That mistake would cause massive backlash and scandal! They are the suppliers of lubricant to the Terrawatt clans. You cannot afford these type of mistakes when we must return to Terra."
>My head hits the desk, this is hour four of my third day of lessons under Malcador.
>"Maybe you should take a break, you are not condition for my methods yet."
>"Thank, I WILL study the tomes you lent me, promise!"
>Legos appears out of nowhere to grab the pile of books before I am even standing again.
>"How do you do that."
>"Do what?" The Custodes tilts his head at me.
>How can someone so bulky and wearing that gold armor be so stealthy?
>Malcador puts his hand on my shoulder as he passes me to the door.
>"We are assigning you staff and guards but it will take time to vet and screen them properly, until then please stay out of trouble."
>"I am just a cupbearer, won't that stand out?"
>He scoffs not bothering to answer.
>"Legos, are we meeting the Emperor later today?"
>I turn back toward the gold giant, he has been my minder lately until my staff is granted to me I guess...
>"Not til way later, Our Master will come to you."
>Ok, that is weird I have yet to go to HIS personal study.
>Maybe they are still vetting ME?
>I will deal with that thought later.

>>72118284
The Star Trek universe would stomp the Great Crusade.
If all the Star Trek factions were put into 40k though they wouldn't do nearly as well with all the chaos fuckery and hordes of monsters
ignoring Q because that causes too many powerwank wars

>>72111866
I'd tell him but not so much for morally pure reasons as much as to deny those chaos fuckers giggling and shitting their way through the warp out of sheer spite. Given that he can read humans like a book I'm pretty sure he'd probably realize this is my motive and take precautions because A: NO FUCKING GODS REEEE and B: he of all people knows that humans are horrifically spiteful things who revel in fucking over things that are different from them.

>>72148301
>I was back in my suite listening to an audiofile on certain Terran Noble families while eating my dinner.
>Grox steak is fuck tasty yo.
>I have no idea what this mash paste is next to it but it is filling and tastes great with butter, so whatever.
>~I am on my way.~
>That is my call, I rush to finish my food and pause the recording.
>I hear the door tone just as I am about to finish cleaning up.
>"COMING!" I yell as I tush to the door.
>Can't keep the Master of Mankind waiting, after all.
>I open the door to see Valdor and Legos stand their quietly. Valdor doesn't even glance at me.
>No Emps though...
>"~Sorry, let me fix that.~"
>Suddenly the Emperor is standing right in front of me, between Valdor and Legos.
>"~I tend to block my presence when in this part of the ship, force of habit.~"
>I just nod, not the strangest thing I have seen lately. HE walks in my quarters as I step aside and follow.
>"Have you sent word to the World Eat- sorry War Hounds yet? I am not sure just when Angron got the nails..."
>"~I have confirmed the location of Nuceria, however the 12th are to far out to arrive there with any reasonable timetable. I have sent word to the 13th as they are closest and will have them retrieve 13 as well on the way back.~" HE casually sits on the couch? that is in my main room.
>"No offense but you should stop that."
>HE lifts his head slightly. "~Is there an issue with the 13th legion?~"
>"No, Referring to the Primarchs by number. It is dehumanizing and them feeling like tools backfired hard."
>He pauses, literal statue mode.
>"~Noted.~"
>We do what we did yesterday, I rant about lore, He nods and asks questions every now and again and directs the direct I speak about.
>Too bad My memory isn't perfect...

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>>72148301
Keep it up scribanon. we here at the mechanicus fully back your further expenditure of keystrokes. Tbh i been checking thread all day to see more posts from you

>>72148671
>"Again!"
>I reload and fire off three shots with the laspistol at the target down the track.
>My hand adjusts for recoil that isn't there, damn it!
>"What is with you?!" yells the Sargent, Malco assigned me to learn some basic combat skills. "You are firing a damn las-weapon, primitive not a powder weapon! AGAIN!"
>Turns out I am not actual allowed to use the fancy bolt pistol, the trooper laughed at me when they saw I brought it to the one of the ships practice range.
>I fire off three more shots before I have time to adjust, but my mark is way off.
>"Give me that!" The sarge rips the laspistol from my hands.
>He fires one handed without looking at the target.
>Three shots while looking me in the eyes.
>I look to the target. One in the left eye, one center mass, final in the target groin.
>Fucking show boating now?
>"How?!" I shout. He just does a few hand tricks Doc Holiday style and then hands me back the pistol.
>"I get it, you're a badass! Can you just help me not suck already?"
>"I am not a miracle worker."
>Fuck you.

>>72148947
>"I was expecting you to be in worse shape."
>I stop my push up to glare at the Sarge.
>"Why is that?"
>"Was told you were a noble inventor, that doesn't speak to fitness."
>Makes sense.
>"Father is a Duke, I had to keep image for the Family. If we missed the morning run, no breakfast. That sorta thing."
>"Good, makes things easier."
>I finish my sets, tired but ready for the rest of the day. Or ship cycle, whatever.
>He offers me a hand up, I take it..
>"I never got your name, Sargent..."
>"Unit tradition, make it past your first firefight and I will tell you."
>I give him a confused look.
>"I am not joining your unit, nor am I expecting to be on the field..."
>"You are the boss's cupboy, where he goes YOU go. And he very much fights.
>What the hell? I am a civy!
>"But, I never been in combat?! I am a civy?!"
>"Calm down, you are not gonna be sent to a front. Plus the Custodes would keep you safe."
>"Fair point." I pause. "What do I call you then?"
>"Just Sarge for now. I lead Roxy Team. We ain't your guard so don't bother remembering us."
>Ok, kinda rude. I got the banter when training but this is getting old.
>"Is their a problem?"
>"No, I am just an ass, sorry."
>That gets a chuckle from me.
>"Are you really a noble?" I am caught blindside from that question.
>"I kinda got disowned, but yes? The job gives me the status in of itself. Why?"
>"You don't act like one. I am use to Ruperts, even from low-tech backwaters. You act like a pleb, no offence."
>"None taken, I am a sixth son I was never gonna take over the family. No need to have a stick up my ass then."
>He nods his head.
>"That is my point you are too casual for a noble, it is kind weird. You need to watch yourself around any officers, they won't react well."
>"Thanks for the heads up."
>"That will be three credits."
>Ha, no.

>>72149251
I am tired and gonna sleep now.

>>72149306
Some good reads, thanks.

>>72144798
Because even though time is weird in the warp, you can't time travel using it.

>>72148507
>he of all people knows that humans
He won't. It's been shown in the Last Church and in many others that he knows jack shit about humans.

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Lets hope this thread doesn't die because i really enjoyed the read

>>72149306
thanks for the storytime anon

>>72111866
What if I brought with me and resurrected Covid 19 in the 21st millenium? How would Terra fare?

>>72150528
>21st millenium
Guess I missed my destination era by quite a but however.
Lets move that up to 30k.

>>72150528
Covid-19 is like a young Nurgles half-assed schoolproject. It wouldn´t do anything.

>>72111866
I would give him a shout and tell him to keep an eye on some things but I doubt he would listen. as a DA fag I would probably join up with the Lion and try to prevent the Fall of Caliban but I doubt the lion would listen either.

>>72122893
Can warp travel actually send you back in time? Has it ever officially happened, and could a vessel potentially be sent back like thousands of years? I can't imagine so or the entire universe would be dramatically changing every millisecond.

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>>72151796
Nonsense. Everything that happens has and will always happen now and forever. If someone travelled back it's because it has always happened that way. At least in THIS reality. You foolish little mortal.

>>72151796
No.

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>>72150354

>>72151796
Wasn't there an ork who went back in time and killed himself to have two of his favorite gun?

>>72121670
I'll admit start trek ships are better designed, and faster but thats about all they have over 40k. How would they win. Also thats just in space, how would they win if even on land. I think the federation has nowhere near the fanaticism required to fight total war, their people are used to automated luxury communism.

>>72114122
The Emperor was massively arrogant but to his credit, other people thinking mean things about him wouldn't even register as mildly annoying.

dude can see the furure, he planned all this cause its the slowest inevitable decline humanity gets

>>72111866
No, because you won't be able to find the Emperor. You'll need to relearn how to speak, read and write while having no resources whatsoever. How exactly are you going to meet the reclusive leader of a genocidal galactic empire? You'd be lucky to survive a week.

>>72152217
orcs don't play by normal rules, they're powerful reality warpers too stupid do do it on purpose

>>72149251
>>72149306
Can someone save my story posts?

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>>72154074
Here you go anon. Will there be more?

>You're too dangerous out in the open. Custodes, lock him away in the palace and assign a remembrancer to him so I can have his life story on the record
And then you die under house arrest in a lavish cell.

>>72154701
I will continue, maybe after work tonite or the next day.

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>>72154890
we await your return scribanon.

>>72111866
The problem with this is that in the worst case scenario, your fate would have you end up as the lone Guardsman, role switching traitors, making things worse or a different flavour, changing little and being frozen until primarines show up, or you suceed in everything your self-insert would cover- get caught up in the "Chaos fucked, Imperium saved" moment, Big-E Starts the webway project and Magnus didn't fuck up-

But then you remember-
E- Is alive, his sons are alive, and shining brighter in the void of space through the warp and beyond the reaches of the gaaxy.
You forgot about the Tyranids.
And You solved the necron problem by Siccing them on the Old Ones by telling them about Warhammer Fantasy.

The only option in my opinion is you go the Lone Guardman route, but due to galaxybrain, you strike Horus with a fucking Malaian wargear, and hopefuly siphon off his chaos energy before unceremoniously turning into a Chaos spawn in your act of self-sacrifice. Or a larval Unaligned Daemon Prince mistaken as a Chaos spawn because E's sentimental ass won't let you fucking die like you want to, leaving you to stew in misery until hatred consumes you like 40k Jason Todd.

The best possible options dependant on tim period and insertion are to
>Kill the fucking Tzeentch Daemons/Orcacles who are pivotal in the corruption of Horus and Magnus (All of undivided and the main corruptors are Tzeentch backed)
>Kill Erebus
>Send the unshit non hopeless humans of the HFY empathy empire to the Tau Empire to avoid Horus and Vulkan's 'Mercy'
>Maybe do the same for those mislead Eldar, either for Eldar clout, or Guliman's emergency waifu bunker when Yvvarrine becomes a thing
>Kill Kharn (hahah no)
>Fuck up Horuses interception of orders for the events of prospero, or find yourself there to dupe Ahriman into fucking up by yeeting the libraries of Prospero into the warp as damage control/Shafting ahriman into the fuckign Blood ravens to save some gene seed
>Get a Malal sword

>>72154777
And I did what no amount of genetically enhanced supermen could do, I, an anon from 4chan, saved the galaxy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJvXNGJAH64&feature=youtu.be&t=10

But he already does know

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>>72159263
Yes I do.

>>72159319
>
What a chad. Just look at those cheekbones

there's not that much to tell him that he doesn't already know. maybe "Magnus is about to break things"